#i create my own identity
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#literally been telling myself over and over recently#other peoples opinions of me are not my identity#i create my own identity#i can change my identity whenever I please#there are no rules#self love#self reflection#recovery#positive affirmations#positive reminders#social anxiety#self compassion#self acceptance#living in the moment#mindfulness#wholecome#lovecore#hopecore#gentle reminders#thinkingoutloudm
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speaking french and spanish and having non-binary pronouns is a curse
and i'm not even talking about the fact that the whole language is gendered
i'm talking about the fact that "elle" in spanish (pronounced "eyé" (?) is a gender neutral contraction of el and ella
but "elle" in french is basically "she"
So saying that my pronouns are iel/they/elle confuses french speaking people when they read it because they think that my pronouns are basically french-they/they/she and it's annoying lmao
#language#non-binary#btw i'm pretty much a beginner in spanish since i'm learning on my own#all that to say that i use “elle” bc i've been told by spanish-speakers about it#i wanted to specify because i know there's a whole discussion about latinx (apparently not created by actual hispanic ppl) and latine#so i might be wrong but i think “elle” is pretty common in spanish for non-binary people?#are there any other gender-neutral pronouns in spanish?#in french “iel” is the most common and recently added to the dictionary#but i know some people use “ille” and sometimes simply neopronouns#french#french language#pronouns#queer#gender#gender identity#spanish language#latine
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pov you're a trained soldier in 1462 and you see this fuckin gremlin who has lost whatever cheap armor he had come at you in the night
Feeling things today and doodled Vlad back when he was human
#my art#doodle#oc#vlad#i mean he wasn't turned until later in life#but yknow you experience the horrors of war at a young age#and then are expected to go back to normal peasant life#so you run away to confront a monster deep in the mountains#only for said monster to find you entertaining and promise you immortality#cept the years pass and pass and one day you look in the mirror and see how old youve gotten#so you take matters into your own hands#and create a whole false identity as a vampire#normal stuff
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its june so i wanna share my lgbtq+ headcanons for ffvii characters just for fun, starting with the main playable cast:
(except they’re hcs by an obnoxiously trans gay person that projects onto their faves at all times, spoiler alert: they’re all trans and gay)
- cloud: he/him gay trans man - starting off strong with a gay trans guy (i warned that i would be projecting a lot with my hcs in this post) … but i’ve noticed a lot of other people hc/portray him as a trans man too so i know i’m not alone on this one! i cant explain exactly why i hc like this but i just do, probably cause i like him
- tifa: she/they transfem lesbian - i cannot be convinced that she doesn’t like women considering how she is with aerith and jessie tbh, and i like her so i’ve lovingly hit her with the transgender-inator beam out of love
- aerith: realistically- they/them nonbinary lesbian - i have no basis for this tbh except it just seems right to me! as for my actual hc for her (which is a pure projection, pls bear with me) - he/they gay transman - this is purely my own projection because aerith is really like stereotypically feminine(?) in ways that i am also feminine, so it comforts me to think of her like me if that makes sense
- barret: he/him but willing to test out she/her, unlabeled gender that is not quite cis but he’s only now exploring it and hasn’t quite figured it out yet, bi-curious and experimenting - thats so long but i’m not sure how else to describe it, i feel like he grew up all “traditional” and stuff, and then being a single adoptive dad and being a huge part of avalanche, he probably hasn’t had the time to really think about any of it too much or explore his gender/sexuality, but now he can with being surrounded with others that can help him explore, realize it’s alright to be uncishet, and help him learn about these things
- cid: okay i’m not gonna lie, canon wise he gives me major homophobe vibes (maybe its the raging misogyny that makes me think he’s bigoted in every other way…) but ignoring that he/she nonbinary bi - definitely exploring a lot and isn’t quite set in stone about what he is yet but he just knows he’s not cis or het and with those being more broad and spectrum like labels, he feels most comfortable with those over anything else, and he feels like they’re just right for him
- vincent: he/they transmasc gay - i’ll be honest this is also projection on my part because i love vincent a lot and want him to be like me! also he gives me major gender envy…
- reeve (in place of cait sith): he/him transman and gay - again, i just love him a lot tbh, and i feel like he is the kind of guy that knew who he was from a young age and tried to help out other people that are trying to navigate their queer journeys and find out who they are, i feel like reeve would be a major inspiration and advocate for the queer youth
- yuffie: they/them demigirl lesbian and arospec - she’s definitely still figuring herself out but she has very little interest in pursuing romance, but any relationship she can imagine wanting in her future is with another girl
#this post is genuinely just for fun!!! i respect all hcs and i know mine aren’t perfect or canon or anything!#most of these are either projections of my own identity or things that just kinda come to my mind when i think of the characters#i know sometimes lgbtq+ hcs can be controversial and i don’t want to create any kind of drama or anything i promise!!!#i just wanted to share my personal thoughts and takes on them! i understand if others disagree and i dont mind one bit! everyones different#a lot of them just kind of come to me as a vague feeling if that makes sense? like its the first thing that pops into mind yknow?#pls dont take any of these too seriously!#happy pride month!#i’ll probably post other characters hcs soon! :)#ff7#ffvii#final fantasy 7#cloud strife#tifa lockhart#aerith gainsborough#barret wallace#cid highwind#vincent valentine#reeve tuesti#yuffie kisaragi#minus red cause i don’t wanna risk anyone thinking im likening anyone in the community to an animal#lgbtq+ headcanons
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headcanoning monogamous characters as polyamorous is free, fun, and easy to do! additionally, it is always both cool and sexy 😎
#why am i posting this to my bg3 blog you ask? well. it is because. i am tired.#tag rant here we go:#when people hc straight characters as gay or bi there (mostly) isn't nearly this much pushback#because people understand that bias in storytelling means there just were never going to be as many queer characters in canon#so making your own is understood as creating your own stake in a heteronormative narrative#but when you do the same thing with polyam characters suddenly it's Disrespecting The Character bc 'that's not how they're written'#like no shit? polyamory as an identity is no more respected in mainstream storytelling than being queer is#so yeah. yeah. your canon monogamous boy is part of my polycule now. he's engaging with the beauty of commitment to multiple people at once#i helped your girl work through her possessive and jealous instincts with patience and care. she's our girl now.#anyway! no matter how much this fanfom clearly doesn't want me to be here doing this i remain#saltposting#baldur's gate 3
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when your favorite character makes it to the finale
As a fellow Danganronpa fan, I'd like to imagine that if Pre-game Shuichi wasn't, you know, gone forever because he'd given up his life to become an anime character like a dumbass and could somehow witness our Shuichi kick So Much Ass in Trial 6, he would be the one cheering him on the loudest. After all, Shuichi is his perfect little detective guy and the person he once hoped he could become. That's why I can hear the "You tell them!" in his voice in my head so very clearly. And in spite of being responsible for ending Pre-game Shuichi's favorite TV show in the world, at the core of it, Shuichi was ultimately fighting on behalf of his friends for what was right all the way to the end.
And who wouldn't want to get behind that?
#I drew this so I would have a visual reference for writing about him because man there is so much to go over /#/ if we take tsumugi on her word that Shuichi signed up for that madness himself#but its not the same person right? ingame shuichi has a writing credit!#Id like to think that OUR Shuichi is an sort of like an OC created partially by Shuichi himself#like team danganronpa would exploit people and get them on the show by allowing them to become the characters theyve always wanted to be#and I dont know how common this is but I hold my OCs very dear to my heart even if I make them go through Hard Stuff#tbh if my own character got to be in my favorite show and they would totally SLAYED it in the finale while also killing the franchise#I dont think I would be mad you know#even if that character is fictional its still real in a way that matters#thats what the ending is ultimately about anyway#but for now Im just glad I finished this little thing oh my god I CANT DRAW this was a loong struggggle but Im glad I have a visual aid now#shuichi saihara#pre game shuichi#post game shuichi#drv3#ndrv3#danganronpa#danganronpa v3#💜#and yes I gave him an identical dr pin to the one I have as well hank you for asking#drv3 spoilers#ndrv3 spoilers#art
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trying to plan out what pokèmon bruce wayne would have... much to think about
#i am envisioning batman to have: noivern (obviously he must have one bat pokèmon). lucario. and greninja#i chose the last 2 partly because i like those pokèmon but theyre also powerful and stealthy pokèmon#so fitting for batman#and noiverns more of a less-stealthy heavy hitter i guess for when hes gotten civillians out the way#batman would have to have some sort of earplugs or padding in his cowl to deal with the sound noivern creates though.. hmmmmm#im also thinking he should have some sort of electric or tech pokèmon but i cant decide which one..#i gotta balance strategy vs his asthetic#it would be good if he had a fire and/or grass type pokèmon too but none really fit his vibe#also it would make sense he have a fighting type (aside from lucario) but i dislike all the fighting types 😔😔#sorry pretty privellage is REAL and it is stopping me from giving him other fighting types#idk.. much to think about#i think lucario makes a lot of sense tbh like they both have the drive to do good and help people#i can envision bruce finding a riolu during his time training and instantly having that connection#ORRR bruce is so strung up on his anger and bitterness. it takes meeting riolu (who rejects him for not being as virtuous as b would think)#for bruce to kinda enforce his own principles#of becoming batman to HELP amd do GOOD and not just for vengence#meanwhile i chose greninja cos its one of my favs#brucie wayne would also need different pokèmon to batman. otherwise his secret identity is WAYY too obvious#it would depend on what kind of bruce wayne i want tho#the more ditsy playboy brucie would have different pokèmon to... e.g. ben afflecks batman whos more sleazy businessman#so many different options#SORRY FOR THE RAMBLE i am... thinking
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I have a theory that i can’t prove, that Great runes can’t work on other Demi gods, meaning Miquella’s charm included. The bewitching branch, for example only works on lesser enemies, never bosses. I KNOW the branch is made by his followers but my point still stands. I think the demi gods are much too powerful to have another runes influence affect them.
I’m not saying Miquella didn’t charm people but I don’t think radahn was charmed, Malenia was never charmed because that’s stupid to assume and Mohg convinced himself he was charmed.
#elden ring#i dont know why people assume miquellas charm is as powerful as it is#it creates camaraderie and lessens negative and violent tendencies#without it the followers tore themselves apart at the paranoia of Leda#i’m nOT saying the charm is a good thing#i just think it’s not as brainwashy lack of identity as people make it out to be#not to mention how much hate FEMALE characters who are charmers and seducers get#make it a feminine boy and the homophobia and transphobia comes out in droves among gamers#Fia charmed and coerced Rogier to look for the Knifeprint#and i dont see people coming after her because she gives nice hugs : )#elden ring spoilers#sote spoilers#shadow of the erdtree spoilers#these are my own thoughts pls don’t engage if you want a fight
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Iron Man (1968) #105
#this is so much#we’ve got Tony asking his child self to take off the armor that’s suffocating him#and his parents blaming him for his problems#‘You let your money- your genius separate you from people! You created your own loneliness son- your own pain!’#while guiding his child self away from him#like I think Tony’s problems go a lot deeper than feeling disconnected from other people because of his intelligence and wealth#he comes up with all these reasons why he can’t show genuine care to other people#and to always be performing some kind of constructed identity#but he also can’t consistently tell what is a performance and what is really him#in this dream Tony has become something initially unrecognizable to his younger self#also I like that the armor burns child Tony when he touches it#marvel#tony stark#my posts#comic panels
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man.. shipping with characters from movies is so hard..
#ash rambles 💚#I'm the kind of person thats super particular about my self inserts#i need them to be lore accurate and have super fleshed out backstories. i aspire to create the characters i want to see in media#and they will always be their own characters before they are me#that being said. i have such a hard time making an s/i when there's no wiggle room#this new guy I'm crushing on.. the story is so fast paced#and he's really in love with another girl#i love him and all that. but it feels like there's no room for me. that just pisses me off! ugh!#i feel the same way about k.ili too though not to such a great extent#idk man. i just hate when this kind of thing doesnt work right#writing my inserts is my greatest passion and i truly am proud of some of my lore#I'll always care for them as characters more than as a vessel for me to kiss pretty characters and i know all my friends can agree that 90%#of what I've sent them is writing about my s/is and not my f/os LMAAAOOO#but yeah. it's so hard for me to figure out where my self insert goes in this movie#also um. i dont want to have an s/i just be a useless side character that just stands there. i know this might sound silly but#as a brown woman who didnt grow up with much representation and to this fucking day has not seen a single punjabi woman in the media i grew#up watching.. i dont want my characters to be useless#ugh sorry I'm rambling sorry for being so negative#anyhow. I'm almost done with the first movie. crush boy is so handsome!!! gamers idk how long i can keep his identity a secret#hahaha what if you were a blacksmith and i was a cute writer and... and we kissed..? haha jk..... unless..?
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i love selfshippers u guys r so based
#'u guys' i am also one#but i more mean people who like..#commission art of themselves and their f/o#or draw a ton of it#write fics and stuff#u know like actually actively. create or purchase content#like i ship myself w some characters but mostly more in a kin way#or like. idk theres a degree of separation#mostly because of issues with my own identity as a person <3 slsdkjfs#maybe i should draw more selfship stuff for me. it does help me get more comfy with my identity when i draw myself#siiiiigh#personal
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it's interesting how i don't think in the course of my life i always dabbled in both feminity and masculinity pretty well and i kinda constructed my own idea of my presentation without even thinking? if that makes sense? i think about it a lot
#if there was a scale i would be in the middle#i have always been in that sense#and then later on in my life i came to terms with the fact that was bi#and it was like perfect for my identity tbh#i love to be a woman and i think i created my own version of being a woman pretty quickly ever since i was a child#does that even make sense?? i hope it does#tris.txt
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Spent all of yesterday studying on the problem of Nationality and the creation of a National Identity and ngl I haven't stopped thinking and trying to figure out how yankee's modern idea of nationality came to be, specifically thinking of white American people who say they're of a nationality based on "ancestry" with no personal cultural ties to it
#rambling#Not meaning to swing at the hornet's nest lol#But i think as a latinamerican guy in latinoamérica i think i can say with confidence this is something none of us understand about the USA#I think it's probably at least partially influenced by nazi ideas of nationality which evoked Nations as biologically inherent#And all nations having one singular race and language which bound them together from birth and gave them the right to their own land#somewhere along the way this also morphed into white americans claiming to be of national identities they have little to no contact with#based on their bloodlines and family history#it could be the american State's inability to create a national identity that matches the historical characteristics of its territory#Trying to build a national identity around nazi-like ideas of a white christian ethnostate in a place where the cultural diversity does not#allow such a plan to ever come into fruition unless they were to take on totalitarist strategies#Coupled with thw USA's history of slavery and open discrimination against non-white peoples creating the phenomenon of white guilt#So white people who dont agree with the ethnocentric facets of their national identity feel the need to ''flee'' their race and nationality#But since their construct of nationality is blood-based to say it in a way the only escape they can think of is escaping to a reality based#on a past and present they have never experienced themselves in hopes to be ''absolved'' of blame and freed of guilt#... But that's my guess lol#Also again specifically talking about white USA people with no or only tangential ties to the identity they claim
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I kinda feel like if Faith were an actual canon character in Trigun then she would do numbers on girl blogger Tumblr
#she’s 18. she’s a teenager. she’s just a girl.#she’s a genetically engineered human plant hybrid created as a weapon but rescued from such a fate#she struggles to reconcile herself with her origin and the person Vash raised her to be#she angsts over her identity. she’s low key full of rage and struggles against herself and her identity. she doesn’t exactly know what#or who she is. she hides her pain behind a smile. just like her daddy.#she’s caught up in conflicts both inner and outer#only difference is Vash is actually a good dad and is trying his darnest to be one#and he and Faith have a super close relationship too#and the parts of Vash that often show themselves in Faith are the kind of thing that no amount of genetic engineering could make#Vash’s own pain but refracted through the lens of the eyes of a teenage girl#SHE’S JUST A GIRL#AAAAUAUAGHH I love it#it hurts but I love it#trigun#faith (trigun oc)#trigun oc#my brainpoops
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villain fictive existing in online spaces moodboard
#im so fucking sick of being treated like shit im so sick of my identity being deliberately ignored bc people in the osc cant process the#fact that some fictives will be of characters u dont liek and theyll create content that you may not like but its not fucking woobifying#you fucking idiots shut the fuck up im a real fucking person and i deserve to take up space and i dont need nor wanna hate myself go#think about how u treat systems real quick actually go reconsider ur fucking behaviors and shit you say and treat me fucking normal or#either of us will be exploded violently i swear to god im so fucking sick of people can we start hitting people with laser beams#ive spent 2 years agonizing over just existing . ive spent so much time being sick of being me ive dissociated entirely out of my own self#so many times so severely my caretakers and friends and partners or overlaps of these 3 things have gotten so severely worried about me#they cry again and again and i hate to see it#2 years . 2 entire years . for a disabled sys with severe memory loss thats more time than you think . its so much more time than you could#understand it is
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related to the previous ask you answered, if you’re up for it - incredibly curious about how you research stuff for your writing. I feel like you’re so good at capturing all these little details of a life with such humour that I’m always going ‘how is yellow meg caballero not x identity’ (which is obviously not true & just the sign of a good writer, etc etc but still). Are you just out here talking to five million different types of people?? And understanding them??
Yes hello hi <3 <-- catching up on ask
I really do have the awful habit of swerving dramatically out of my lane and talking about shit I have no business talking about. I don't even do a lot of research, or at least not as much research as I should. I'm genuinely a terrible person to emulate here. But as for like how it tends to happen.
One half of it is. Patrick Stewart voice Writing fiction.
jaklsjdflksadf the other half is like...yeah, I talk to a lot of people. I like people a lot. I find everybody really interesting, and even if I don't like somebody then it's still interesting to have learned about a new kind of person. Over the internet especially is so much fun - everybody has at least one thing super interesting about them! Everybody has a unique trait or has had an experience totally unfamiliar to me. I also just really have an eclectic knowledge of a shitton of extremely useless stuff, I watch a lot of random-ass YouTube essays, all of it. Baby I got information even I don't care about for days lol.
Some of my characters are based lowkey off people I know. Sometimes they're based off me at different points in my lives, or the kind of person I used to think I was. I think most often they fit into a category of people I've met in my life - for example, for an OC I'm writing right now, she's based off this type of person I know. And in there I look for what I always liked about those people, what I always related to about those people, and how I always interacted with them. They're often kinds of people I don't even necessarily like. You never really want to do "well im writing [marginalized group] so I'll just make them [friend from marginalized group]", but for me once I meet and talk to enough people from that group kind of the experience and perspective that being in that group gives you emerges. The 'why' of the experience stands out, and you can go deep into that.
All that said, I look for the similarities instead of the differences. My MK stuff isn't about being a system (cuz not that.), it's about having a highly stigmatized mental illness, and somebody's relationship with their identity as a mentally ill person, which is something I can understand. Lots of my SW stuff was about...existential dread, lol. I do just know a fuckton of neurodivergent and trans and etc people. And I think we do just project - I'll interpret a character as having my experiences instead of another's, because I'm SUPER loose with characterizations lol. But yeah I'm just constantly talking to people about their experiences and if you do that enough then a bigger, more relatable experience emerges lol. Everybody knows that there's really only like five emotions.
That being said I made a joke in a recent Moon Knight fic about how baby Marc liked baby Steven at first just because he would wake up and his bed would randomly be made. And my sys friend was like "HOW did you know about chore ghost??". So. Lucky accident a lot of the time I think. Thanks for the Q though, I'm happy I succeed at this!
#my writing#when i do run into issues and i dont do things right is when i don't recognize that an experience isn't my own#e.g. i assume that the experience of this group is similar to my own and it rly isn't#ppl be the same but we think really differently sometimes too#for example turns out some christians believe different things than catholics do and it's SUPER FUCKED UP#i feel like ppl can be afraid to write characters of different identities significantly differentiated from each other#like to write a guy mindfully as different from a girl because he's a guy#but i think just kinda homogenizing everything creates that inauthenticity#and more importantly the 'default' 'neutral' is often the majority#idk i dont like ignoring things#for example. when i try writing characters religiously neutral i just make them catholic#and this is sending ME to hell
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