#i could blame it on the autism

[kimkhimhant]

there's something about... Kim hides his pain and fear from others, and he also hides his genuine joy. he only expresses it when no one can see it, at least from what we see in the show

he only lets other people see the parts of him that are curated just for them to see. and it protects him, obviously, by not showing vulnerability to people who could weaponize it. but it also means that, he isn't able to share the good feelings with anyone either. he is alone in both his pain and his genuine joy

[cogdominium]

saw a post in the corporate clash tag that caused me to black out and make this

[a-concert-just-for-me]

QB ADHD test is crazy for autists bc tell me why you’re gonna strap this super uncomfortable headband to my head and also have the lights bright in the room bright af and then have the laptop flash images at me too

Like????????

[pollen]

letting myself unmask has been so nice at times because i'm seeing my boyfriend express joy much more readily too. who knew me being expressive and all that would do so much good!!!

[dailybrandonrogers]

hello brandon rogers fans. would anybody like to hear my propaganda on why 6th studio album Dizzy Up The Girl (1998) by The Goo Goo Dolls is actually the BRCU soundtrack of all time. anybody? hey who thew a tomato at me

[autisticlee]

no one knows just how hard I work at things. how I have to work 1000000x more than the average person to compensate for being autistic and adhd and probably other things i'm working out with therapist, and having a sort of physical disability i've not received any help or treatment for. everyone assumes I don't try or give up too soon. they think I just started, need more practice. they think I expect everything handed to me immediately with no work or effort and don't acknowledge the multiple years i've put into things. they think I have no right to be upset about still failing to get where I want even after working my entire life to get there, while watching people around me surpass even my meager goals within a fraction of the time and work i've out into the same thing. constantly getting surpassed by everyone around me who seem to barely do any work to get there compared to me. it's all handed to them and falls into their lap so easily. all because they don't have the extra obstacles to overcome and work around that I do. while they go from point A to Z immediately with no major stops in between, I have to go through every single letter and then some, often getting sent back to the start. but it's always *my* fault, according to everyone. it's not the fault of those around me who ignore me, don't support me, don't help me, don't believe in me, etc. it's my fault they don't do those things. because doing the work of 10 people in one isn't enough, just because it's me. and not reaching Z as fast as everyone else means I don't deserve any of the support or help or anything else and means i'm not trying hard enough. it doesn't matter that I *need* to work harder than 100 "normal" people combined to get even half the result! Just because I can't reach what they do means i'm not trying hard enough! ugh.

[phagodyke]

kind of annoys me sometimes how I can happily listen to my roommate explain the entire plot of whatever she's currently into but when it comes to my interests she can only listen for a few mins before wordlessly walking out of the room

[ragingbullmode]

the girl who fucked up her bday camping trip last year at work is trying to invite herself to MY bday zoo trip… like what da hell who does she think she issss

[sweetened-condensed-rage]

So like, I didn't really get the special interest autism, but I didn't get the hyperfixation ADHD, and in two days I crafted a 775 word note that's just info on a couple different drugs and my search history is fucked now.

This is for a mage campaign and I probably won't ever actually use it but like, it's there.

[gxlden-angels]

Hello! I apologize if this is a nosy question, but what is the silly feelings wheel app you were talking about in a previous post? My therapist and I have been working on identifying feelings but I still very much rely on a list of feeling words to have any idea what I’m feeling, so it could be a helpful resource. No worries if you don’t want to share, just thought I would ask :)

It's called How We Feel! I'm not sure if it's available on all devices yet, but it's on ios and the google play store for sure.

I've been using it for about a year. It's more of a chart than a wheel but people usually recognize the wheel better so that's what I call it. When you first start it has a 10-part tutorial about emotional acceptance and regulation, then it has suggestions for each category of emotion. You can access both at any time tho after those first 10 days.

It has a share option so you can have friends, which has been great for me cause it prompts me to check on friends and them to do the same for me. It allows you to just respond with a little emoji in like a "I'm here for you" little notification to your friend, or you can reach out to your friend on your own. Its really helped me cause I'm bad at reaching out when I need support so to me and I'm bad about taking on other's problems even when I can't handle it so being able to send a little emoji instead to make sure my friends know I'm there if they need me and them doing the same has been great

[brennacedria]

I wish my insurance would cover the psychologist and/or therapist who work for my psychiatrist. For God knows what reason, though, neither of them are on my list. I'm not looking for something consistent or long-term; I want testing and just the option to have visits when I'm having problems that don't necessarily need med changes.

I've mentioned before, I'm fairly confident in my doctor's diagnoses for me. But it feels odd bringing up potential ADHD or autism with him. Part of it is that I know if he agrees on ADHD he'll want to medicate for it, in spite of huge reactions I've had to stimulants in the past. The other part is that he'll be (at least somewhat) biased, since he's been seeing me as a bipolar/GAD/BPD patient for ~10 years. He has no reason to ask the right questions for these specific possibilities.

Also, well... I don't want Brian to be there for these conversations. I massively need him for med follow-ups, though, because he can report things I've forgotten as well as what he's observed. If he's there for conversations about possible ADHD or autism, he's going to blow it off as tumblr's influence. Which I mean... Maybe. Idk. An appointment with a psychologist/therapist would be a natural way to exclude him and bring up any evaluations later as being "based on a third party" and completely unrelated to my own Internet research.

Edit to add: other psychologists are covered by my insurance. Just not the ones at my existing doctor's office and I'd be more interested in going to someone who works directly with my doctor.

[anaalnathrakhs]

...i'm starting to wonder if i wasn't actually pretty often failed by the adults in my life as a young kid tbh.

[wanderingmind867]

Tomorrow we go to visit my high school to discuss going back next year. I'm stressed out about it, because I haven't been to school in person since grade 9. I hate the provincial government for forcing all teachers back to work, thereby depriving me of stability!

[drk-of-light]

Some dude has been stalking me and block evading me by making new accts on furaffinity for the past year and ive reported him SO MANY TIMES and nothing changes :/ always comes back within a few months. Im fucking exhausted man.

[autisticlee]

sometimes being autistic really separates me from other people. there's an invisible wall that separates me from people, society, the world. all those things can reach through the wall and slap me around, but it's one way. I can't reach them. and they never pat me on the head. nothing nice comes through. and I can't get out. I try to share good things. nothing gets through the wall. they see it as I purposely don't come out of the room i'm locked in. they think I act like i'm too good for them. they are offended and reach in to slap me. i'm desperately screaming and trying to reach out to them. trying to be part of things. but I can't. I can't connect with them. I can't be part of society. this wall isn't my doing, but they are making sure it stays up and making sure they only send negative signals through. know I can't stay behind this wall or I literally can't live. but also can't get out. i'm stuck and blamed for it. told i'm not trying and it's on purpose. i've been kicking and screaming at the wall my whole life and didn't make a dent. the lonliness and disconnection that can be felt when autistic is something nonautistic people will never feel or understand.

[mosspapi]

I just realized my emotional support stuffed animal has an emotional support stuffed animal. This is extremely funny to me