#i cant to to 'therapist' because Reasons | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pageofheartdj · 1 month

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Ugh, I don't want to, but I feel resentful towards medicated people. When they discuss taking aderall(or what's thename), other medication options for ADHD and depression.

And I just know, I just KNOW, none of it is legal in my country.

Aderall? Not legal. That one med for depression that is good? Not legal.

I fucking hate my life.

#i cant to to 'therapist' because Reasons #i want to self medicate with something not strong for safety #but i fucking CANT #the only shit i have is fucking uselss or has TONS of bad side effects

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crazylittlejester · 5 months

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people are getting way to comfortable on the fucking internet good fucking lord i might actually delete tiktok this time

#i cant even say what the fuck i saw because it was so vile it has my agnostic ass believing ill go to hell if i say it out loud #if i had a therapist they would be finding out about this #i have to kill myself i think i actually have to kill myself this time #(for legal reasons this is a joke)#jes talks #jes rambles #jes is going to go lay down aftwr whatever the fuck that was #hell cannot compare to the torment that tiktok just put me through good fucking god

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lesbianwithchainsaws · 1 year

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Being queer and neurodivergent is great and all until you're with relatives and you watch other people and feel like an outcast in your own family

#extra fun that i cant exactly tell my therapist that being queer is one of the reasons i feel this way #because peoples opinions on queer people here generally arent good #idk sometimes it feels like I dont belong anywhere and feel really alone even though i know im not #its just the way other people live and do things seems genuinely impossible for me. i dont get how they do it #sometimes wish i wasnt who i am ngl #can someone please tell me something nice. my self esteem is buried deep underground right now and i feel not great #sorry for bringing vent posts here on tumblr. i just genuinely dont have many people or places that I feel okay talking about this stuff #especially no one irl i feel okay telling all this to #and dm'ing people is also really difficult. i genuinely struggle to do it #vent post

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absolutelyzoned · 3 months

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how do i find out exactly what is wrong with me . help. olease

#i dont trust doctors i dont trust therapists i dont trust my parents theyre all gonna say im faking it or doing it for attention or that im #being dramatic or its all in my head or its just puberty or its just anxiety or some other bullshit reason #there is something wrong with me and its not any of those fucking reasons no one believes me and i cant tell anyone #because im always so fucking scared of. everything really.#i actually need help #or advice #or something #ill shut up about my problems eventually i promise

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butchdykekondraki · 7 months

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yknow as someone who grew up in the furry fandom and still interacts with it occasionally its kind of crazy i havent drawn any of my guys as anthros yet

#[ren]#look at my anthro headcanons boy. ->#kondraki would be a moth btw. which is boring considering her motif BUT I HAVE REASONS!!!!!!!!! that i wont say.#and clef is a jackalope btw #gears is a llama btw. not elaborating.#<- similarly iceberg is an alpaca #rights is a rabbit. You Know Why.#AND CIMMERIAN IS A CAT. NO ARGUMENTS ABOUT THIS I KNOW HIM BETTER THAN ANYONE #also glass is a. like. dog. which is boring but hes a fucking therapist i cant Not make a therapy dog joke here cmon now be serious #lament is also a dog but specifically because all frat bros are dogs to me in the sense that he was never trained to not jump on people #the kiryu siblings are also moths. zyns is obvious but i just want mark to match her #shen is a bee btw. yes its because of his plant wife

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kitkat-of-doom · 5 months

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#lmao this is the worst #i just got denied my appointment for a formal autism diagnosis #after finally managing to send all the correct documents #their reason???? “oh your case isn't complex enough for us you should go see somewhere else”#like bitch i already have another fucking diagnosis that isn't even receivable #because no one fucking told me that you're actually supposed to go see a psychiatrist instead of a fucking therapist #and now you're telling me that i have to pay 400€ more to a psychiatrist just so they can tell me the same thing as last time #“oh we cant conclude anything cos adhd and autism are so close you're gonna have to go to the actual hospital to figure that one out”#just so i can come back in 2 years #like come on your creteria for taking people in was that they had to have had a diagnosis already #i fucking have one !!!!#im so tired of this #like i feel im never actually gonna see the end #why can't it just be easy for once #crying in class because of that shit was not on my bingo list for today

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lightblueminecraftorchid · 2 months

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it’s not fair that so much of my memory and cognitive function is tied up in something I cannot control or reasonably prevent

#blue chatter #EMDR therapy is genuinely helpful #but I’m starting to hate how much it impacts my ability to function afterwards #I don’t wanna feel like my consciousness is detaching from reality like a moist sticky note after every session #I don’t want to have gaps in my memory for hours afterward #it’s not fair that other people inflicted all these traumatic experiences onto me #and now I have to process them and suffer the consequences #I told my therapist today that I’m angry at myself for not being able to spin enough plates #that if I had just been more attentive and had more energy and worked on my homework like I should have #I wouldn’t have suffered nearly as much from the deep distrust and constant surveillance academically #and if I hadn’t been so easy to manipulate and groom #my parents wouldn’t have had a good reason to violate my privacy and read all my text messages and browser history #I’m angry that I never earned my right to privacy #and I’m angry at my brain now (even though I know it’s unfair)#why can’t I just process this like a normal person #why do I have to have all these new scary symptoms I’m not used to #why can’t I just get therapy and face my traumas and anxieties and get over it quickly #and I know that’s unfair. and I’d never say that to somebody else.#I just want this all to be over with. I want a life where I don’t just stop functioning once a week.#I hate having to write off the rest of the day after a session because nothing gets done #and my brain turns into goo and I feel floaty and spacey and strangely unable to move or think #it’s not usually like I can’t respond at all. or pay attention. it just takes so much effort. and my body and brain feel strangely heavy #and clumsy. like I’m walking in a mech suit or something.#I want my brain back.#but I know that getting it back means doing this work now #which sucks and I don’t like it. esp since I don’t know for sure that this will ever go away.#it’s scary to lose memories of important events and lose chunks of time and feel like I can’t trust my own version of events #how can I know if I’m being gaslit if I cant trust my memory already? it terrifies me that I’m so vulnerable #anyway. rant over. sorry y’all.

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aropride · 1 year

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one thing i just do not fucking get is the difference between "regulating emotions" and "suppressing emotions" i cannot get my head around how those are different. like if im sad and then i go "well im not going to be sad anymore" that's "dissociating" and "suppressing healthy emotions" but if im sad and im like "well im going to cry until i actually pass out" that's "not healthy" and it's BAD to suppress emotions but it's ALSO BAD to get super upset so WHAT IS THE SECRET THIRD THING cuz i do not fucking get it. "feel your feelings But not that way that's not healthy feel your feelings but less than that" ???????

#text #IT'S DRIVING ME UP A WALL IVE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT FOR MOTNHS #LIKE????? is it like. like is this a me problem is this just me having feelings that are too big #like do other people just.. like for other people does 'feel your feelings' just mean like. feel sad for a while and then stop. cuz i cant #do that i dont get normal sad i get chest pain and think about killing my self for hours on end .is that the problem #like okay if i trip down the stairs and break my leg. im going to cry and go to the hospital. suppressing that would be just using my #broken leg anyway and ignoring it. would regulating it not also be Crying and going to the hospital. would regulating it be like.. putting #a bandaid on it or something is it like.. a middle ground . i do not fucking get it #like okay if i trip down the stairs and i scrape my knee and then i call an ambulance i see how thats not the right response . and i guess #regulating there would be like. calming down thinking things thru and choosing a less drastic solution like a bandaid. i get it #in that situation. but if ive ACTUALLY BROKEN MY LEG. then that would just be the first thing again essentially #but when i put that back into. real world not metaphor world. like. i dont get it again #because if theres not like. an obvious reason for however i feel how am i supposed to judge if im calling an ambulance for a scraped knee #ALSO I THOUGHT THERE 'ARENT ANY WRONG EMOTIONS' WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THAT -_-#okay no okay it's like. if i trip down the stairs and i skin my knee i dont have to call an ambulance. but if several times a day i fall d #down the stairs and skin my knee in that exact spot and now i can see bone. SHOULD I NOT CALL AN AMBULANCE?#cuz its not just one thing thats upsetting me most of the time it's a combination of a bunch of things and then like one extra upsetting #thing added on top of that. which would necessitate an ambulance. does this make sense #THIS IS GETTING ME NOWHERE IM STILL JUST AS CONFUSED AS I WAS BEFORE I STARTED TYPING. i need 2 remember 2 ask my therapist #what the fuck ''feel your feelings'' means and how it can coexist with ''regulating feelings'' or whatever cuz i feel like im missing smth #NIK OUT ! PEACE ! ✌️

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littlest-bugz · 3 months

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not to be dramatic, but I really wish I could be vulnerable with someone

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t4tstarvingdog · 1 year

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paranoia is literally so stupid. there’s something out there that is going to get in here and it is going to claw my back. (there is nothing out there)

#timothy's txts.#tw paranoia #my back is literally fine even though nothing is thick enough and there’s not enough layers #i need to actually talk with my therapist about this though because reasoning it out doesn’t make it go away?#so i need a way to conceptualise it to make it not so scary when it is real in my head #if i cant take it away maybe i can mitigate the fear you know how it is

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autisticlee · 1 year

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I hate when people who want to "help" me are only doing it to make themsleves happy or comfortable and not me.

when people are basically like "how dare you not take my advice and do what I told you! dont dismiss me and what I say! I don't care if it doesn't work for you/make you happy/makes things harder for you, it makes me feel good when you do what I say and listen to me!"

i've had friends like this. one more recently from an ex friend group who straight up told me I was dismissing her for not even "trying" to do what she says, despite me saying I tried it previously and it didn't work. she always got upset at me if I had any problems with her advice and it didn't work. telling me i'm lazy and dismissive and giving up and making her feel bad because she's "just trying to help"

if you want to help someone, you have to make then happy, not yourself. meet their needs and work out the roadblocks that get in the way. dont call them dismissive for not taking your advice when YOURE dismissive of their needs and struggles. it's not about you of you're "juat trying to help" and especially of you claim you care about the person.

#lee rambles #dont know what to tag this #the ex friend who most recently said this to me was also the same one who claimed to be autistic as a gotcha moment #to be dismissive of my struggles with being autistic because she can do thjngs easily so that means i should 🙄#she really is good at projecting. being dismissive of me and claiming im dismissive. gaslighting me and saying i am instead #idk what her issue was but she seemed to take out her issues on me??? after she kicked the one she liked least from thr group #who she previously projected her issues onto it seems like she moved to me until i was basically booted from the group through ghosting #and getting uninvited from the group trip for no reason. and she cant even talk to me herself. she sends our other friend to do it #one who i believe didn't actually have an issue with me but she still chose the manipulative one over me so i have issue with her #and they stole my pther friend from me and turned her against me #so i just left and gave up #screw them!!!!!#oops tags got super off topic um ignore these................#lee rants #i did manage to actually find a therapist that takes my insurance though so i cam discuss these things with her #so the more i write about them the easier i will be to collect them when i need to email them to her once we get there

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soft-bugs · 1 year

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!

#also update from one of my previous posts:#ive cut off a friend because i dont like how they treat me and our other friends and i have a lot of mixed emotions about it #like i dont hate them but i cant help but feel slight resentment after dealing with this for so long #i wish them nothing but the best but i just cant take it anymore im tired of being afraid to do or say literally anything #ive tried all that i can do and given all i can give to try to help them but nothings ever good enough i didnt ask to be a therapist #and im like devastated that its come to this it never used to be like this or at least ot was never this bad #it hurts so fucking much having to lose your friend of like 11-ish years for several reasons that have all just been building up #more and more over the course of like 3-6+ months #vent #bugs agere journal

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southislandwren · 1 year

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am i crazy for being a little pissed off at my friend. she asked me to come water her plants while she's out of town for a week. she lives with TWO other people and i live 15 minutes away in a different fucking town, and i work another 15 minutes in the opposite direction (hint: it is extraordinarily out of my way and a pain in the ass to water her plants). Also they're plants?? 1 week without water isn't going to kill them???? just water them heavily right before leaving and again as soon as you get back. argh im just feeling like a piece of meat thats available to her to use for any stupid purpose

#honestly its just like being back in middle school when i didn't have any Good Friends. just people who wanted me to do things for them #like damn i dont know. i feel like im sitting in my therapists office and shes telling me i dont have to do everything people tell me to #and have i made like no progress on that? in fucking 8 years?#but for my own selfish reasons i need to keep this friend around until i graduate. i need someone to help me with food engineering.#or i could say fuck it and just lone wolf again... i did it for the first 2 years of college....#ive left her text on read since tuesday because like no i cant water your plants. theres like 5 options better than making me do it.#shes got her two roommates. her very good friend and coworker. the freshman. any of the knitting people she hangs out with.#bro i live in a different fucking postal code im not driving to town to water some plants that dont need water #actually yeah im saying fuck it. i dont need her. she doesnt bring joy or love when we hang out and im tired of her policing my words #girlie i will not be watering your plants and frankly this might be it. goodbye #diary post

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viovio · 2 years

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oh jesus i went and added an essay of tags bc of my parents and grandma's problems.

#shoutout to people who read my vent posts and like them i will like yours too and we will all ride into the sunset<3 #seriously though i hope yall r doing ok im just so lucky i have good siblings #i need a fucking therapist when this is all over. ik its not an ultimate fix but i need to do something about mh whole #emotional vulnerability thing. i dont want to see my parents again but ugh hell #fuck i dont wanna say what i feel id love but i wish it wasnt stupid to want to find a reason to love them #i want a mother who doesnt say shit to me and suddenly later tells me im her babygirl and pet my head #and make me feel loved i cant fucking do this #great now that made me cry #speak iza #whatever. fucking whatever why do my parents do this. no its not my dad or grandma specifically it's mom #self deprecation is like genuinely nothing to me but my problem is i know when i deserve better. and my mother calls that selfish #i know when my siblings deserve better and my parents say im a hypocrite because i yell at them when im stressed #i have no excuse they dont deserve that and behavioural change is important to me #vent tw #crap i did it again

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sanchos · 1 year

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just letting everyone know i absolutely SLAYED my first ever uni presentation🥲

#this was a BIG part of my grade and it took me so fucking long to do #but the presentation was the hardest part bc i have been avoiding it for 4 YEARS !! i lichrlly went to see a therapist only for that reason #bcs i knew i wouldnt be able to graduate if im not able to do presentations in front of the class #like id rather fail the entire class than speak in front of the class #also bcs i couldnt focus for shit like i couldnt even do the most simple assignment #BUT ANYWAYS #he interrupted me when i was at the end of the presentation and i was like 🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️ but then he said thats hes gonna give me maximum #points #by he i mean the prof #and he was super impressed and didnt ask any follow up questions because he said i already said everything and that he sees that i get the #assignment #and i just….: ive always been a terrible student and this was just 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲 one of my proudest moments fr #and the fact that i did the presentation without a panic attack……#i owe it all to my therapist love her sm cant wait to let her know !!!!!#GOODBYE AND EVERYONE IN CLASS WAS SAYING HOW SCARED THEY ARE TO DO THEIRS BC MINE WAS SO GOOD.. EGO BOOOOOOSTTTT thanks everyone 😎

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satansappendix · 1 year

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These imaginary tigers are fucking me up

#soap speaks #im oof #and i cant tell why #it is either the anxiety of money and not making enough and expenses piling up and stress #or its the autism making me so anxious because giant changes are happening in my life and i cant fucking cope #my ssiter snd her husband are moving in with us #but also hhhhhhhhhh #like this changes basically everything in my life and we are also throwing stuff out and rearranging the house #and i still havent found a therapist to discuss the complex emotions i feel because my dad fucking died #like i need therapy about it lol #especially since i feel the circumstances of my life getting fundamentally better since he died but for some reason that stresses me out??#like we are throwing trash out and broken things out and fixing things feom years ago no that hes gone #but it still makes me feel bad?#idk im just going through it

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