#the ex friend who most recently said this to me was also the same one who claimed to be autistic as a gotcha moment
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autisticlee · 1 year ago
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I hate when people who want to "help" me are only doing it to make themsleves happy or comfortable and not me.
when people are basically like "how dare you not take my advice and do what I told you! dont dismiss me and what I say! I don't care if it doesn't work for you/make you happy/makes things harder for you, it makes me feel good when you do what I say and listen to me!"
i've had friends like this. one more recently from an ex friend group who straight up told me I was dismissing her for not even "trying" to do what she says, despite me saying I tried it previously and it didn't work. she always got upset at me if I had any problems with her advice and it didn't work. telling me i'm lazy and dismissive and giving up and making her feel bad because she's "just trying to help"
if you want to help someone, you have to make then happy, not yourself. meet their needs and work out the roadblocks that get in the way. dont call them dismissive for not taking your advice when YOURE dismissive of their needs and struggles. it's not about you of you're "juat trying to help" and especially of you claim you care about the person.
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orcelito · 5 months ago
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There's also the impulse to be like "women ain't shit" but that's a lie I love our women. Not women as a whole's fault that one of them turned out a selfish bastard of a coward.
I just need to find a woman who doesn't treat me like That. Get me a good butch. I need me a good butch.
#speculation nation#id love a good butch who can pick me up and help move my furniture#and who is so sweet and treats me like im someone valuable (& not immediately replaceable ...)#the bar is actually so low. god why do i keep ending up dating assholes?#ex before this ex wasnt an asshole. i was the asshole in that situation.#but that's where the whole. wanting to find someone right for me comes in.#god 'ex' really is such a vague term for me. i got bad ex goth ex uhh other good ex but still sucked#nothingburger exes 1 2 3 4#and the gay awakening ex who i really shouldve given more attention to but unfortunately i was a stupid 16 year old#and broke up with her for my bad ex. alas.#and then theres milquetoast ex and uhmmm. well i actually dont know what im going to label my most recent one.#i dont think it's fully sunk in yet what happened. bc it really was so sudden.#i last saw her on thursday and everything was normal and nice. just like pretty much the whole of the 6 months with her.#and then she started hanging out with the coworker i guess. and the rest is history.#i think she lied about being busy spending time with friends to excuse why she was so distracted on the weekend.#she was probably busy spending time with that girl. who she apparently feels like shes suffocating if shes not in the same room as her#it does suck in a lot of ways. but also with her friends. i was trying rly hard to spend time with them and be liked by them.#one of them's moving into my building this next year. across from my unit. so i wonder how thats gonna go.#my ex mentioned how she'd be spending twice as much time here then just last saturday.#and now. well. like fuck she's coming in here anymore. but i wonder if i'll see her going to visit her friend.#id been kind of excited for it. looking forward to spending time with a neighbor too. but probably not anymore.#i do wonder what her friends will think. i hope she tells them the truth and they chew her out for being such an asshole.#literally breaking up with me over text. who fucking does that??? she didnt have the guts to hear me cry???#i'll make sure she sees the full force of my displeasure when she drops my gifts off tomorrow.#she used to like how rough around the edges i am. well she's gonna see just how rough around the edges i Really am.#i kind of. dont really want to see her. but i also do. i want her to look me in the face and talk to me#to see who it is she's dropping. to see how it has affected me. even if she didnt see my heartbreak as it happened.#i laid into her Hard so she knew just how badly she hurt me. so that she would feel even a fraction of my hurt.#so she would feel Guilty. she apologized over and over. said she knew she'd regret it. but she just Had to do it.#'this will be my life's regret' then why'd you do it? fucking impulsive dumbass. what bullshit.
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norris55s · 1 year ago
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reputation - lando norris
pop star reader x lando norris social media au
part two - part three
a/n: lando did a very reputation-like helmet and the hamster in my brain started working. rep's songs are also very lando coded to me. faceclaim is soyeon from (G)I-dle
requests are open, but i may get to them late because uni is kicking my ass!
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f1waggossip
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f1waggossip: McLaren’s golden boy seems to be newly single… at least that’s what the streets say, considering his last girlfriend, pop star Y/N L/N, has not been seen in months at the paddock following a very public fall out with her former girl squad, and consequent fall from grace from everyone’s eyes. They seemed in love. What do you think?
landonorrizz: honestly, i never understood the hype for her. she has always been a red flag and dramatic!!
mercedesgarage: i don’t get it lol i don’t follow her, what happened?
455chilli: basically she was friends with other singers, models and actresses and they have recently unfollowed her and exposed her for not being as great as everyone thinks
y/nforever: you mean she had a friend group who turned on her out of nowhere? lol what her ex friends have said is based on jealousy
landostareyes: it seems like they broke up but they were really cute together :// i kinda feel bad but she also seems to be the problem
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landonorris
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landonorris: p2 cake babyyyyyyyyy
supremey/n: that is my y/n if i’ve ever seen her
formulaonegirl: so they’re still together
carlandocontent: it could be any girl tbh, it’s been months since lando has even mentioned her
papayaheart: it’s even worse if they’re still together and she just won’t show up to support him in races anymore lol
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y/nusername
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y/nusername: Reputation. Out November 17.
Comments have been disabled.
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landonorris
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landonorris: Are you ready for it? Reputation out November 17.
y/nlandodefender: nothing has ever been as iconic as a Y/N comeback special helmet i am in tears
landolove: reputation helmet to beat the breakup allegations wasn’t on my bingo card
supremey/n: I KNOW THAT’S RIGHT
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f1waggossip
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f1waggossip: Y/N re-debuts at the paddock.
y/naura: ohhhhhhh i know some of y'all are MAD but my girl will stay thriving with the album of the year
softlylando: came back with a bang, goddamnnnn
mclarengirly: lando is definitely bagging a podium for her today!!
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landonorris
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landonorris: i like her for her
y/nusername: Even in my worst times, you could see the best in me. 🖤
ferrariheart: shut up this is so cute
norrisreputation: mans really said we've been together all this time LMAO
babyfaceoscar: where is everyone who was calling her a red flag and saying her and lando didn't belong together?
dailylando: been real quiet since reputation dropped
magicy/n: i woulda stfu too after she released something like call it what you want, nevermind lando's promotion helmet LMAO
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y/nusername
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y/nusername: The Reputation World Tour officially began and I can’t thank you enough for showing up for me, when I thought I couldn’t even show up for myself. I might make the same mistakes, burn bridges and never learn, but I know I did one thing right: have the best, most loyal fans. Also, it seems right to thank the man who inspired me to write way too many love songs for this album, the king of my heart, landonorris. 🖤
landonorris: i believe i was also called gorgeous and stuff
y/nusername: I am truly never complimenting you again
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delfiore · 9 months ago
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—I'LL NEVER WIN YOUR HEART.
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pairing: alexia putellas x reader
synopsis: aside from endless hatred and devastating love, you don’t know anything else when it comes to alexia.
word count: 2k
tw: aNGST, spicy stuff, enemies to lovers to ……….?
a/n: wow has it really been a month since i last posted that's insane (i'm not being sarcastic i'm actually so shook at how fast time passes).
now playing:
Her eyebrows narrowed. Her jaw clenched. Her eyes lasered in like a hawk.
Even from across the club, several of your teammates knew to get the hell out of her way when she made a beeline towards you.
Alexia was scary when she was angry. There was an untouchable force to her that made one cower under her steely gaze. You used to feel the effect of it, once upon a time, but recently it was almost a weekly occurrence that she would direct her hardened gaze at you.
And now, as she fixed that deathly glare onto you, you felt your arm being yanked just as you were about to kiss the beautiful stranger you met mere minutes ago.
“What the fuck, Alexia!” Admittedly, you were buzzed, and any obstruction to your enjoyment would irritate you.
“Come with me,” she gritted her teeth.
“No! Let me go!”
She tugged on your arm and dragged you away despite your protests. The bathroom at the back of this club was filthy, and the door barely did anything to block out the thumping music outside, but Alexia pushed you into one of the stalls anyway, caging you in between her arms on either side of your head.
You had half a heart to slap her across the face when she shoved you against the divider and kissed you like a barbarian, lips and teeth clashing against one another in a heated mess. She had no right to do this, but her entitlement made it so you were trapped in her grasp again.
The worst part was that you enjoyed it, very much, especially when she went on her knees to do what she always did best.
It happened not too dissimilar to how it started. Your frustration mixed with her only ensured you both collided in the most spectacular way. You remembered arguing with her after a horrible game, both of you throwing blame at each other. It happened so quickly, that before you knew it, your hatred had turned to lust. Hatefucking, as one might call it. Suddenly, all you could think about each day was how much you hated Alexia and couldn't wait to fall into bed with her.
“You can’t just do that and pretend like nothing happened.”
Your words came out rushed as you were still trying to catch your breath. Alexia exited the stall and went to wash her hands, doing so with a frustrating nonchalance.
She met your gaze in the mirror. “Can’t I?”
You scoffed. “Why do I bother? La Reina never gets off her high horse, does she? You’ve never respected me, ever.”
“That’s not true.” Her eyes flickered, and you thought you could see unspoken words behind them.
“Then what was that earlier?” You asked, irritated.
“I should ask you the same question,” she said firmly. “I thought we were fine. And now I see you grinding on some girl at the club? I mean—what is this, Y/N?”
It was always like that with Alexia, and if she didn’t say what she wanted to say, then you couldn’t help her.
“It’s not like you care,” you gritted your teeth. “I hope you had fun with Olga, by the way.”
Now it was her turn to scoff. “She’s my friend.”
“She was also your ex.”
“Can’t I be friends with my ex? And who are you to tell me who I should and shouldn’t hang out with?”
She was right. You had no place in her life to be telling her that. It was purely your desire, or a lack thereof, to hold a special place in her heart, but maybe you were foolish to wish for it when there has been so much history between you.
You chewed on your bottom lip, a habit you had since you were young. You suddenly felt the bathroom walls closing in on you—you needed to get out of there quickly.
Wordlessly, you shoved past her and returned to the club, the music once again deafening and pumping in your chest. You expelled a breath; the cute stranger was nowhere to be seen, and neither were Patri and Pina, with whom you came. That’s fine, there was an entire nightclub’s worth of people. You would find at least one person who would make you forget how much you despised Alexia and—maybe for the night—how much you loved her.
The story could have gone so differently. You two were similar in age, grew within the ranks of the Spanish youth teams together, then played at Barcelona together. You both played in midfield and younger players looked to you for guidance and leadership. Yet, it was known among your teammates that the two of you couldn’t stand to be in the same room. Ever since you were young, your similar play styles and clashing personalities ensured that you always butt heads on the field, and eventually, off it too. You grew up with this hatred of Alexia, as she did of you, but you could barely remember why. You were brazen and Alexia was cold, and that never worked for either of you.
It seemed she had had enough of your attitude one day, and shoved you so hard in training you thought you might have sprained an ankle. Some of the other girls noticed her distaste for you and started to distance themselves to gain favor with her. Then, Alexia became the best player in Spain, and you were always in her shadow. The media called you her ‘healthy rivalry’, even when you played for the same club. If you didn’t hate her as much as you did, they all ensured that you would never be able to get along ever again.
There was a memory that you buried deep inside, but it would easily surface again on nights like this. It made you question everything you’ve felt for Alexia, this thorn in your side that has never let you know peace
It was the summer of 2012 at a Spain U-19 camp. You had barely gotten any sleep the night before you came because it was your first call-up to represent your country. Alexia, of course, had become a familiar face in the team by the time you arrived. She wasn’t seen at breakfast one morning, and a coach said that she was dealing with personal matters. What you didn’t anticipate was finding her sitting alone by the steps of an entrance bawling her eyes out. You had tried to retreat, but Alexia had looked up before you could go.
“S-Sorry, I’ll just—”
“Mi papá . . .” Her voice was quiet like she didn’t want you to hear. Then, she burst into tears again. You had never seen Alexia like this, so distraught and vulnerable. The friends she liked to keep around were nowhere to be seen either. She never liked to appear weak in front of others.
Against your better judgment, you approached and sat next to her. “What happened?”
Exhaling shakily, she answered. “He was very sick. I just got the call from my mom.”
Your mouth hung open, unable to form words. As Alexia smeared her tears away with the back of her sleeve, she suddenly appeared younger and unlike the captain that you’ve come to know her. She was just a girl, who’d had something terrible happen to her, and you would be the biggest jerk not to push whatever you had between you aside.
“I’m sorry,” you only managed to say.
She said nothing and rested her face on the inside of her elbows.
“I’m sure he was very proud of you.”
“Please don’t say anything,” she breathed out, making you wince.
“Okay.”
Alexia sniffled. “I just don’t want to be alone right now.”
“Okay,” you nodded slightly. You didn’t like talking about your feelings either. It was the first thing you found Alexia and you had in common.
You started to feel sick. Your head spun like you had just stepped out of a washing machine, but still, you reached for the passing bartender who looked at you with patronizing eyes.
“Another.”
“Y/N, that’s enough.”
You pushed her hand away, mentally cursing at her interruption.
“Fuck off.”
“I’m gonna have to explain to Jona why you’re still shitfaced at training tomorrow.”
“Fuck. Off. I don’t fucking care.”
Then, you heard her say something she had never said to you before. “Please. Let’s go home.”
The truth was, you never wanted to protest her. Maybe the years have softened you, but you didn’t want to admit how much you craved her affection. There were times when you despised her and thought her the lowest form of a human being.
“Please don’t do this,” you pleaded. You felt your heart hammering in your chest, as you watched her frantically spring out of bed.
“I—uh, have to go. I’m meeting someone for lunch.” She replied, reaching for her pants strewn across the floor.
“Ale, I’m sorry . . .” You managed a pathetic whimper, tears threatening to fall. “Can we just pretend I never said anything?”
How is it that she had made you feel so euphoric merely moments later, and now you felt like you had hit rock bottom? Only because those stupid words slipped out of your mouth.
. . . But was it such a crime to tell her that you loved her, when it was your truth?
You learned the hard way that Alexia didn’t want what you wanted. Maybe it was just her, or maybe it was you, and she didn’t want anything to do with you. If that were true, you were foolish to think for even a second that she would. You never gave her much to like anyway.
But still, you would be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t have any feelings for her. But aside from endless hatred and devastating love, you don’t know anything else when it comes to Alexia.
She had brought you back to your apartment, supporting you by holding you close and guiding you inside gradually.
The moment you hit the mattress, you groaned at the snugness of your own bed. Your eyes were barely open, but you saw the way she pulled your shoes off your feet and coaxed you to sit up so she could shed your outer coat.
But that was it. She was afraid to help you further, as it would resurface emotions Alexia thought should be buried, emotions that reminded her of sleepless nights and passion.
“Why are you so quick to get away from me?” You mumbled into your pillow.
You heard her sigh. “I brought you home, didn’t I?”
“Am I really that detestable that you wouldn’t even look at me?”
Her eyes met yours, but unlike earlier in the night, they now held a softness. “You know I don’t hate you. I never did.”
“Then stay.” You whispered, your head still spinning, but all you could focus on was her. “Stay with me. Please, we won’t do anything. I just don’t want to be alone.”
You didn’t care that you were begging her. You were tired of being pulled from end to end, and it was so much easier to love than to hate her.
You thought she would laugh in your face, pack her things and leave. Yet, when you opened your eyes again, she was lying in bed next to you, under the cover and all. She had changed into your clothes, so much more time had passed than you had thought.
“Go to sleep. We have training tomorrow,” Alexia whispered, her lips brushing your forehead softly.
You obliged, nuzzling your head into her chest as you let the comfort of her embrace lull you to sleep. You were too tired to fight it, to tell her no, that you would talk to her seriously about the two of you, even if you were drunk. It wasn’t the first time you had fallen for Alexia’s lies; all the other times, she left you in the dirt after giving you her everything for you to pick up the pieces yourself.
You hated her because you loved her. But maybe this is enough, you thought before sleep took over, just for tonight.
Maybe tomorrow will be different.
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tranceinnumerabletabs · 15 days ago
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When Johnny Comes Back pt 4
A/N: Thank you once more for you continued support! It truly makes me smile. I added some more story in part two. Now, it's not as short, feel free to read the newer bits.
New to this? Here's part one I'm part two, I'd just been updated with more content I'm short but important pt3
He could be fine. He could be fine. He’s strong. He’s strong
You keep reciting “soothing” mantras to yourself, just trying to stay afloat, trying not to fall back into that pit of despair. Truthfully you were a nervous wreck. You sent a letter back to whoever “Ghost” was, begging him to keep you updated.
He wasn’t very….communicative. But he did like Simon. And by like, I mean he sent wrote “cute cat” among the very very few things he wrote.
Didn’t matter. He could say all he wanted but unless it’s “Johnny is alive, well and coming back from deployment in one piece” it’s nothing to you.
You’ve had time to think about your relationship with him, what you’ll do if…..when he comes back, how much you miss him, how much you need him safe, god. What has Johnny done? You didn’t want to end up like this.
From the moment you two became roommates you thought about what his fate could be and tried not to get attached.
That didn’t last long.
It became worse than you ever thought. You even did some research on his….”job”, reading news articles, leaked documents and even chatted with some ex mercenary guy who called himself 3x5had0w about some recent events. You were shocked at what Johnny could be involved in…..and yet…that didn’t mean you didn’t want him back. It seems you have all the time in the world to get used to it. How could a man end up so entrenched in your heart like this? You thought it was safe since he was away for so long so often.
bastard
He made you fall for him
You clutch his pillow harder, his scent weak. It’s been months since he left and….well…you don’t know how long it’s been since the news of his hospitalization came.
Movies don’t feel like movies anymore. You’re holding up well enough for most of the day but….when you’re back home, it’s becoming harder and harder to think of it as “Johnny’s just on Deployment” It’s been too long.
It’s like you could almost hear Johnny teasing you for cuddling his pillow like this. His deep raspy voice going “aye, miss me that much Bonnie? I ken you’d fall for me! Ye were a goner the second ye saw the most braw lad in the world.” Then you’d ‘fume’ and call him a bastard
“Aye, your bastard. Such sweet words fer a lad ye wouldy live without if ye could.” Then you’d huff and puff as if that’s intimidating…
You sigh, it’s not the same imagining it. You wanted him back
It’s okay you think to yourself it’s okay
You can have that, you can have all that and more when Johnny comes back
Yeah…he’ll be fine
When Johnny Comes Back
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If Johnny was here he’d be beaming like the sun so hard right now and Soap-o-Nova would become real
“Yeah. I do” you say firmly
The creep raises an eyebrow
“How long have you known him?”
“Long enough to live together” you say, tone purposefully aloof and irritated. You know this is the man that has been stalking you for a while and you’re scared. But you don’t show that. You wish Johnny was here to be Johnny. To be protective and act like a guard dog. You thought telling him you had a boyfriend would get him off you but some men just have audacity with a size that rivals Caseoh.
“What’s his job?”
“None of your business Mr Milton.”
“Call me Andrew” he said in a ‘friendly’ tone but everything about him wasn’t. You noticed him and his friend Ross, who’s ALSO stalking you, a while back. You’ve seen them talk so you assume they’re friends. You wish…he was here to drive them away. Can’t they see you’re drinking your sorrows away??
“Okay, Andrew. What my boyfriend does is none of your business.”
He looks at you, annoyed. You keep a brave face on.
“Do you even know his job?”
“Yes.”
“Is it not something to be proud of?”
Ugh really? Asking about your ‘boyfriend’’s salary
“It is.”
“To you? Or does everyone think that?”
Well…it’s….complicated. That’s a good question to ask if this was a philosophy class or a tumblr post if you're poor. But it’s not. How patriotic would you say you are? nvm it doesn’t matter. Make him sound good
“Anyone who doesn’t is a sore loser” damn ok redneck, build a wall between you two while you’re at it.
He presses his lips together.
“Does he tell you a lot about it?”
“Yeah” you bait him
“Really? What does he tell you?”
“That he’s fatal, dangerous and blows things and people up”
“Why?”
“Because he’s a soldier and a sergeant at that. He can destroy anyone and anything and he especially doesn’t like it when strangers try to take what he owns” wow you sure are selling this ‘Johnny is my mafia boyfriend’ facade. Where did you learn that? Wattpad like a legend or TikTok like a child?
If he was here he’d beam so much conspiracy theorists would call him an alien. Who knows? Maybe that fuckass Mohawk is his antennae.
Finally he’ll leave you alone, right? He adjusts his posture and decides to keep fucking taking to you
“Are you two….close?”
Ugh, what a douche “yes.”
“How close?”
“close enough that I wouldn’t want an outsider in our relationship”
His face looked even more stern and almost like he got the answer he was looking for. “Andrew. I am happily taken and am not looking for anything.” You force a polite tone He puts up his hands in mock surrender but has a weird look in his eye. “Yes miss. I’ll be on my merry way.” He finally leaves the coffee shop without ordering anything.
You take the opportunity to take footage of him. It’s too suspicious to angle the camera so you video him walking away, knowing he’ll look back, and when he does you try and keep your camera angle casual. There, now you’ve got police evidence if he tired to stalk you again. At least he was better than Ross. Ross tried to…."visit” you. You didn’t like how that went down, you ended up sleeping in a hotel and it’s great that you’re smart.
Well, yeah you’re smart but you’d be lying if you said that you didn’t learn a thing or two from Johnny when you asked him about his job.
(A/N: should I write the Ross 'visit' bit? It's not really important to the main story)
I wrote it, pt5
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Prime and Protector (TF One Sentinel Prime)
Pairing - Sentinel Prime x F!Prime!Reader
summary - you're the smallest Prime, and the nicest to Sentinel. the two of you develop a close bond as the other Primes treat you like any other Cybertronian because of your size, and you fall for the only bot who still puts you on a pedestal
warnings - slight angst but mostly fluff, neglect from the Primes, a bit suggestive?
a/n - sorry not sorry, i am obsessed with this maniac
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Primes were known to be massive beings, significantly taller than most Cybertronians. It was a symbol of their power and prestige, as well as their leadership over the citizens of Cybertron.
However, there was one Prime who wasn't quite as big.
You were the same height as Sentinel, who wasn't even a Prime, and you had a very slender frame. So you looked like any other Cybertronian, which is why the other Primes often treated you like such. They often left you out, "forgetting" to call you to meetings and you wouldn't even know about half of them if it hadn't been for Sentinel.
"My lady."
You were in your berthroom prepping your weapon for your next encounter with the Quintessons, when Sentinel appeared at your door. He knocked politely, giving you a smile he reserved only for you.
You couldn't help but smile back, being very fond of the advisor, "Come in, Sentinel. I assume there's another meeting?"
"Yes", he nodded, stepping into your berthroom for the first time.
He considered this progress in his relationship with you. You were the nicest of all the Primes, the one who treated him the best. He liked you the most, and maybe that was transitioning into something more...romantic. So you letting him into your berthroom gave him some hope that you at least liked him, if not felt for him what he felt for you.
Maybe one day.
You ex-vented heavily, "Okay. I'll be there soon."
He noticed your apprehension, "Is something the matter?"
It wasn't any of his business, but recently you'd grown a lot closer to him as you grew distant from your fellow Primes.
"I grow weary of my brethren," you admitted to him. "I am practically invisible to them; they don't ever see me."
He responded with something so bold he would never have thought of uttering it in your presence had it not been for you allowing him into your private space.
"I see you."
You offered him a small smile, "I know you do, my sweet advisor."
His words had a much bigger impact on you than he realised, and this was the start of the road to becoming his sparkmate. This was the point at which you realised you saw him as more than an advisor, more than a friend. And even though you held a higher status, you didn't feel ashamed about it.
"You must be exhausted, my lady."
You returned from another skirmish with the invaders, feeling exactly that, to see Sentinel standing outside your berthroom with a plate of fresh energon.
You smiled, and your faceplates heated up at how attentive he was, "Thank you, Sentinel. But you were there too, you should also get some rest."
None of the other Primes would have thought to suggest that he rest as well. And that only made him want to care for you more.
"I insist," he moved the plate closer to you. "Once you are replenished, I will take my leave to...rest." He said that hesitantly, because you both knew the other Primes would just put him back to work.
You offered him a tired smile and beckoned him into your berthroom once again, "Then at least share the energon with me. That's far too much for me alone."
Sentinel was stunned by the offer, and also flustered. For the first time, it was you making his faceplates heat up rather than the other way around.
"Are you sure, my lady?"
"Mhm," you nodded, then laughed, "Oh and please, stop calling me 'my lady'. You can use my name, you know."
"But that would be-"
"I insist," you settled on your berth. "You've earned it."
The permission to use your name made him buzz with excitement, but also nervousness. That seemed almost too kind of you, but then again he was alone with you...in your berthroom...sharing a plate of energon with you.
"Sentinel," you laughed again, "Relax. Sit down."
He didn't realise how tense he was, but as he sat down across from you he felt himself relax. You being so casual around him was, surprisingly, putting him at ease.
Sentinel admired you a lot. He often found himself unable to look away from you, the most beautiful femme he had ever laid optics on. But now, in the comfort of your berthroom, looking so relaxed, there was a different kind of beauty about you. A beauty that transcended physical appearance, and that was hard to ignore.
He didn't know how to explain it.
Your faceplates burned when you caught sight of him staring. You were speechless for a moment at the look in his optics. Far more than just respect and admiration, there was something deeper in them. Something far more...intimate.
"Power down with me," you found yourself saying, unable to believe those words yourself.
His optics widened, "My lady-"
"(Name)," you corrected, moving closer to him as if possessed.
"My lady," he insisted, struggling to deny your request to call you by name. "I don't think it would be appropriate-"
"Sentinel, please."
And then you were kissing him.
You had surged forward and closed the distance between you two, smashing your dermas against his. Locking you two in a passionate kiss in that awkward position, both of you with your legs hanging over separate sides of the bed but upper bodies turned to face one another.
You kissed him hungrily, like you were starved.
And Sentinel kissed back.
You could have done this forever, it felt so good. But Sentinel seemed to regain his senses midway, and suddenly pulled away from you. Though he found it extremely difficult to do so.
"Sentinel?" You questioned, confused. "Did I misunderstand..?"
"No, Primus no," he vented, "I'll see you tomorrow, my lady."
He got up quickly and left, leaving you confused and slightly hurt. Feeling just a little bit rejected by the one bot you thought wanted you.
The next day you noticed Sentinel doing his best to avoid you. Unlike before, if you didn't need him he wouldn't be with you. And that hurt even more, because you missed his company and you missed his attentiveness.
You closed yourself off, spending your spare time in your berthroom, thinking of various strategies and tactics - distracting yourself the only way you knew how.
"My lady-"
"What do you want, Sentinel?" You grit your dentae, words coming out cold and harsh.
He flinched at your tone, having never heard you speak to him like that before, "I would like to apologise."
"For what? Avoiding me or leading me on?" You laughed coldly.
"I wasn't-" He paused, then, "I just didn't think the other Primes would approve."
"And what do I care for their approval?" You hissed, "All they've ever done is ignore me, so I don't think they would even notice. Even if they did, my choice of sparkmate is my own."
"I apologise," he answered softly. "I didn't realise."
And just like that, you forgave him. Just like that, your anger and hurt disappeared. You looked up at him, standing awkwardly in the doorway and shuffling his weight nervously. He looked so cute, it was just so hard to stay mad.
"Come here."
He followed your gentle command, approaching you slowly. You stood up from your berth, excited at the idea of having him close again.
"Can I..?"
"Please."
His servos ghosted over your hip plating before grabbing your waist and pulling you forward to rest against him.
"You have no idea how long I've waited for this," he admitted, "I want you, (Name) Prime."
"Leave the Prime out," you mumbled bashfully.
He chuckled and stared at you for a moment, "Are you sure?"
You knew he wasn't asking about your name, but you were still certain of your answer, "Yes. I want you too, Sentinel."
That night he spent in your berthroom was intimate, the most intimate and special experience either of you had ever had. Your sparks were laid bare for one another, and you ended up sealing your bond with way more than just a kiss.
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popponn · 1 year ago
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dating consultations. [nagi seishiro x f!reader]
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notes: it's like 'wow feelings eh' read in elmo voice. then add my nagi phase and my recent obsession with childhood friend!nagi, it turns out like this. warnings: mentions (in a very unserious way) and (manga esque) depiction of break up at the end (not between you and nagi), mentions of bunch of break ups on your part, pinning, childhood friends + gaming buddies (?), obliviousness, post canon au, minor cursing. wo/ta/koi influenced this in some ways.
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“Nagi Seishiro, listen to me,” you began.
“Don’t wanna,” Nagi replied, without lifting his head from his phone.
“So, I think my boyfriend broke up with me after finding out I spent money on gacha game,” you continued on, ignoring Nagi’s refusal. “I mean, sure, that's not a good financial decision. But hey, my husband gotta go home somehow and it's like an extra money that I already planned to spend anyway. Don't you get it?”
“No, I don't.”
“Exactly—but you see, I also think that he was honest, and what bothered him the most is because he found out that you and I play better in another game that he also played…” you trailed off at a sudden, more unpleasant that appeared in your mind. “…Seishiro, if I suddenly kick you out of the leaderboard’s number one spot, you will still be my friend right?”
“Nope,” Nagi replied without missing a beat. Like a rite of passage, you knew what came afterward would make you angry. “Your aim at FPS sucks way too much for that to happen.”
Immediately, you heaved out a short huff. You then threw your body over Nagi’s quickly, cuddling the soft blanket draped over him and enjoying the soft detergent scent left on it. Whining and protesting, you “Cheer me up, you brat! I raised you on my back since kindergarten and this is how you repay me?! We grew up in the same litter—spare some sympathy for me!”
(Seishiro found his whole body stiffening when you buried your face on his shoulder and pressed your chest towards his arm. Through the blanket, he could faintly feel your warmth and body. Five years ago, this would have been something he would brush off without batting an eye. Having crushes on oblivious childhood friends who only saw you as childhood buddies is hard—Seishiro noted dully.)
“Eh, why?” Nagi questioned back, blankly, focus still drilled on the PVP shooting game he was on. “This is your…how many breaks up it had been already?”
“…I know your social IQ is low, but can you stop rubbing salt over my wounds?”
“Anyway, don’t you think you break up way too often already to feel hurt?”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…ah,” Nagi mindlessly cut the silence between the two of you. “That headshot was dirty.”
“…you are really bad at this whole cheering up thing,” you chided, sounding all too fond for it to have any effect at all. “And stop making me sound like some Whatpad bad boy.”
(From the corner of his sight, Seishiro saw a small smile etched itself on your lips. It was still too bittersweet for his liking, but at least after this—like always, as Seishiro had come to remember after all this time, without willing to—you would cheer up and stop talking about your nth ex. You wouldn’t sulk anymore and go on with whatever else except some guy who happened to be your ex.)
“Didn’t you say you want to be one, back in middle school?” Nagi questioned. “Also hurry up and log in, I need to grind for new artifacts.”
“That was middle school!” you screeched, feeling your whole head heating up due to some embarrassing flashbacks. “And you are still playing another game—I will log in later—”
“I’m done,” Nagi said, perfectly timed with the winning screen his phone displayed. “Log in. Hurry. Hurry.”
You glared dirtily at Nagi and his timing—or luck, whichever it was this time. “I hate you. Also, use Al-Haizen and Seno, I want the full ikemen academy team today.”
“Their synergy is shit.”
“And they are handsome. Your point?”
“I don’t wanna.”
“I will curse you with all defense and flat sub stat if you dare.”
“…that’s awful,” Nagi said, finally. His defeat was imminent from the start.
You sent him a wolfish smile, “And I’m still your only gaming buddy. Shush and just log in, big koala.”
“The one who is stuck on my back is you,” Nagi commented, while still following your words and changing his team before requesting to go to your map.
You laughed as you pressed your phone. With a certain brand of closeness laced in your voice, you protested, “Why are you this nosy with me? Last time I checked you are pretty obedient to Mikage, Isagi, and your captain.”
(Seishiro tried to process your words for a moment. To him, the answer has always been obvious in the way that both you and him even bothered to stick close to each other even as the two of you approached the age of twenty together. In how the one you told everything to is still him despite everyone in your life. In how if you ask, he will walk through the city just to pick you up after a terrible date and walk side by side to your home.)
Nagi stayed silent for a moment. From his side profile—adorable, handsome, yet still as baby-faced and familiar as ever—you could see how he was thinking. Then, he offered you an answer in a half-baked, dry tone, “…because it’s you?”
Once again, you laughed. Trying to swallow whatever odd beat his answer managed to draw from your heart deep and away from your face. “Gosh—watch your wording, Sei—oh, you are in already. Let’s go artifact farming! If it’s shitty let it just be Seishiro’s and not mine!”
As you hurriedly pressed your screen, you tried to not realize Nagi’s stare from your side.
You were not ready yet to admit whatever you felt for him was real. This was only a side effect of consecutive terrible break ups.
That was it and nothing else.
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(”I don’t think I am the one you are in love with,” your boyfriend—ex-boyfriend—told you gently. This was yet another same reason, just told to you in a gentler, more understanding way.
You could only watch him silently. You were confused, yet a part of you somehow managed to understand what he meant. However, you still couldn’t put what it was into words despite all that.
“..well, I don’t think you do it by purpose,” the man in front of you said with a nervous laugh. “…nonetheless, I’m rooting for the two of you. Don’t make him wait for too long, okay?”
Hearing that, even if you still couldn’t grasp much yet, you forced yourself to respond through your tears. “…I’m sorry...?”
“Don’t be. It should be me, really.” Ever the nice guy, your ex-boyfriend still smiled. “This is more of me saving myself from hurting in the future… just, think of it as me being bitter for being worse than you and that childhood friend of yours in that shooting game, okay?”
You laughed bitterly at that. Your crying hadn’t ceased yet, yet you managed out another reply, “Seriously? You are a shitty nice guy.”
Still smiling, your ex—a good friend, a gentle person, a diligent worker—gave you a chuckle that sounded guilty. “…sorry. I really hope we can still remain friends after this.”
“Of course. No way I’m letting go of a star student as a group project member just because of a breakup,” you joked, even if you were unsure of the future. Then, remembering how he is, you added, “And get your ugly mug off my sight now. We are breaking up—stop smiling, you bastard.”
“…well, then… should I… accompany you home…?”
“You are my ex now—no way, nice guy,” you shut him off quickly. Then, after a pause, it felt like an answer as you continued.
“…I will just call Nagi. Go away.”)
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totowlff · 1 year ago
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le temps fera les choses
➝ request: you could write a story where toto and reader are divorced [...] drunk toto calls reader and just rambles about life and how he misses her and everything, or if you wanna go further
➝ word count: 8,5k
➝ warnings: cursing, alcohol consumption, angst, smut, an overprotective reader and a lot of real life references
➝ author’s note: well, working with the idea of divorced!toto turned some gears in my head and this one shot was born. it was inspired, in a way, by the song le temps fera les choses, by angèle, and the text even has some references to the lyrics, so don't be surprised. toto's aunt is actually called elisabeth, and given my commitment to reality, i kept it that way (a happy coincidence, i won't deny it). hope you enjoy!
Looking at the man on the seat in front of you, part of yourself refused to believe you were doing this. “This is insanity”, you could hear your mother's trademark accusatory tone of voice telling you. You know she was right, even as a voice inside your head, but there you were, sitting across from your ex-husband, watching him completely absorbed in that day’s edition of the Financial Times, as you sat on his private jet, en route to Sardinia.
Your story with Toto began in the fall of the year 2000, at the gala opening of an exhibition at an art gallery in the center of Vienna. You had earned your Masters in Art History, and had always been enchanted by antiquities, and had done extensive research on the history of antiquarians in Vienna. Your research led to an invitation given personally by Elisabeth Sturm, daughter of Czesław Bednarczyk, one of the most prominent antique dealers in Vienna, and the subject of a paper you were writing for your PhD.
You just had no idea that what she invited you to discuss wasn’t your paper, or the pieces on exhibit.
— You know, Y/N, my son also recently graduated in contemporary art and has a great interest in post-war pieces, just like you — she said, as she led you through the multitude of guests with a wide smile on her face.
After passing by a couple she seemed acquainted with, and greeting a friend of many years, Elisabeth finally found who she was looking for. Nodding toward two men holding champagne flutes, you walked over to them with her. The words of the specialist in eighteenth century pieces became distant murmurs in your head as your eyes were fixed on one of them, who seemed to be looking at you with curiosity.
— Alex, honey, I want to introduce you to Y/N Y/L/N. She's doing a doctorate in Art and Economics at Die Angewandte, so she’s doing some research on the city's antique shops — Elisabeth said, smiling — Y/N, this is my son, Alexander. He is working on his masters’ at the University of Vienna in contemporary art, but I am sure that you will find a lot to talk about.
You forced a smile, offering your hand for a handshake. He was the same height as his mother, with carefully combed-back brown hair and stern dark eyes.
— It's a pleasure — you said.
— The pleasure is all mine — he said.
Then, your gaze returned to the man who had caught your attention. He was much taller than Alexander, but had dark hair and dark eyes that were similar to Alexander’s. The two of them definitely looked related, but there was something tender about the way he was looking at you.
— And this is Torger, my sister’s son, who just arrived back in Vienna from the United States. California, right?
— That's right — he replied, his deep voice flowing through you in a warm wave — San Francisco.
—  Remind me, what you were doing there again, Torger?
— Learning about the business side of the technology industry — he said, smiling — By the way, you can call me Toto. Nobody calls me Torger.
— Your dziadek calls you Torger — Elisabeth muttered, something bitter in her voice.
— Good to know that dada still remembers me — Toto muttered, before taking a sip of champagne — Even though it's probably just to call me ungrateful because of the fucking tuition he paid when I was 12...
— Well, is he wrong? — Elisabeth growled, before looking at her son, who seemed to be silently begging her to control herself — And it's no use looking at me like that, Alex, you know it's true.
— We don't need to discuss this here, mom.
— No, no, your mother should speak her mind, Alex — Toto said, giving his aunt a challenging smile — I don’t mind at all.
— You should be much more grateful to your dziadek, Torger. If it weren't for him, you would never have finished school, much less...
— Gotten that internship at the bank, I’ve heard all of this before, auntie — he replied — But that doesn't change the fact that he was an asshole who disowned my mother for marrying my father.
Elisabeth took a step forward, one finger raised.
— Be more careful with your words, Torger — she said through clenched teeth.
— Mom, please — Alex said, placing himself between Elisabeth and his nephew — Let's get you something to drink.
After some protest on her part, the woman finally agreed to accompany her son, who apologized before taking Elisabeth away from them. Alone beside Toto, the silence between the two of you stretched for a few seconds before your gaze met.
— Are your family gatherings always like this? — you asked, making him smile.
— They're usually worse — Toto replied, making you laugh.
It was the first of many times that night that he would make you laugh.
You didn't see any more of Elisabeth or Alexander that night, and you didn't want to. You only had eyes and ears for Toto, listening to him talk about his trip to San Francisco and the investment he had made in SMS.AT, the country's most-visited website, as well as asking you about your background and life in general.
— Do you have a boyfriend? — he asked you.
You both stopped in front of a sculpture of a woman on her knees with bitter tears in her eyes, you suddenly felt nervous.
— What do you think?
— I can’t imagine someone as intelligent and beautiful as you being single.
You chuckled weakly, feeling your cheeks heat up.
— I'm sorry to say that I am. Not everyone is willing to spend hours listening to me talk about old things sold by old people.
— Well, I am — he said immediately, in an almost boyish rush to demonstrate that he was, in fact, interested in what you had to say. And it was at that moment that you were sure that what you were feeling was not simple anxiety or infatuation.
You were falling in love with that man.
— Find something interesting? — someone said, bringing you back to the present, your gaze meeting the same pair of mischievous brown eyes from that night at the exhibition.
— There’s an article about an exhibition of Yayoi period artifacts from Japan — you replied, making Toto turn the cover of the newspaper to find the article you were glancing at.
— Asian art? I thought your interests were more in Europe — he said, the corners of his lips curling up mischievously.
— Nothing wrong with learning all I can, Toto — you replied, turning your face away when you heard the sound of someone shifting in one of the other seats. Sleeping with her head against the window was the most important person in your life.
Magdalena. Your daughter with Toto.
Born just over four years after that night at the exhibition, she was the tangible symbol of the love you felt for each other at one time. She had your nose and her father's charming smile. Lena, as you called her, was a girl with a strong personality. She was incredibly intelligent and particularly observant. Nothing went unnoticed by her brown eyes, not even your indecision in participating in that trip.
You took off your seat belt and walked over to your daughter to check on her. After putting a blanket over her and taking the book she was reading before falling asleep from her hands, taking care to mark the page she had stopped on, you took a few seconds to watch her.
There had been many times when you had felt that you didn't have the strength to continue wearing the many hats you did: university professor, gallery curator, private consultant for antique dealers and private collectors. However, Lena was your motivation to keep going. She was the reason that you got up early and went to bed late, after correcting piles of academic papers. She was the reason you signed on the bottom line of a legal document to put an end to yours and Toto’s marriage on a gray winter day so many years ago.
— You don't have to watch her like you did when she was a baby — Toto murmured behind you. When you turned around, you saw that he had folded up his newspaper and that it was sitting in his lap. 
— I'm just making sure she's okay — you replied, running a hand through her hair before returning to your seat — After all, we're here because of her.
Toto smiled.
— Indeed. Always for her.
That trip wasn’t planned very far in advance, but it was the result of Lena's excitement at having achieved excellent grades in the Reifeprüfung, the end-of-school exams that students in Austria took to graduate.
 Sardinia was her favorite place in the world and she wanted nothing more than to go and enjoy the sun and the sea with the two people she loved most in the world. You hesitated, after all, it had been years since you had gone there with her and Toto.
You were capable of giving up anything for Lena, even your own promise of never flying anywhere with your ex-husband again. There was nothing you wouldn't do for your daughter's happiness.
The rest of the flight was quiet, with Lena waking up near the end of it. Her messy hair earned her a good-natured jab from Toto, which his daughter returned to him in kind. The interaction made you smile, after all, it was just another proof of how similar your daughter was to her father, even though she hadn't had his constant presence since she was five.
“Genetics are impressive”, you thought to yourself as the captain of the jet asked over the intercom for everyone to fasten their seatbelts in preparation for landing in Olbia, in the north of the Italian island. However, contrary to what you thought, Toto had not chosen to book suites in a nearby hotel, but in a more distant location. It was all to preserve the privacy he had lost when he decided to dive headlong into the world of Formula 1.
His passion for motorsport wasn’t ever a surprise for you, after all, since the first night you’d met him, Toto had been talking about how he competed in junior formula racing, just for fun. However, nobody could have predicted that buying some shares in a Formula 1 team that seemed  to be on the brink of bankruptcy would lead to him being the team principal and part-owner of one of the largest, most prestigious teams in the sport, almost a celebrity in his own right.
However, the attention brought him unwanted problems, especially with the paparazzi, who insisted on photographing him in private moments during his rest days, even more so when he was with Lena. In the end, the further away from the hustle and bustle of the island's busiest cities, the better.
He and Lena had chosen a resort in Valle dell'Erica, which had a small network of luxury villas connected to the main building by stone paths traveled by golf carts. After settling into a golf cart with your daughter, Toto sat in the driver's seat, asking the concierge to ride the front cart with the bags.
— Are you taking us camping? — Lena asked, after a few minutes of meandering through the compound's tree-lined paths.
— No, I'm not, though I think a few days away from your cell phone wouldn't hurt you, would they? — he replied, laughing — We're going to one of the villas that’s the furthest out, to make sure we don’t get a repeat of last time.
— You mean when my classmates saw your pictures on the yacht and started asking if you were still single? — she murmured, forcing you to try and hold in a laugh. You would never forget the way Lena recounted, indignant, the way her schoolmates were talking about her father.
It was useless to deny that Toto was a handsome man. With his piercing eyes, broad shoulders, and imposing height, you'd been drawn to him since the first time you'd seen him in the gallery. And as much as you wanted to deny it, the power he wielded over you hadn't diminished with the divorce.
If you were honest with yourself, it had only grown.
— I'm not to blame for anything, mon bébé...
— Just don't walk around… Dressed like that — she replied.
— Like that?
— With only a pair of shorts on, especially those shorts — Lena said, making her father laugh.
— Bébé, it's just a pair of shorts...
— They were pink! They’re way too flashy for someone your age!
— You’re talking as if I’m just some decrepit old man, Lena.
— Maybe not decrepit, but definitely an old man who shouldn’t be wearing pink shorts.
He brought the cart to a stop as the concierge, in front of them, opened a red gate.
— I bet your mom likes my flashy shorts — Toto murmured, glancing at you and you just rolled your eyes.
— I don't care about your shorts, Torger.
— You used to  — he replied, revving the cart again.
— But I don't anymore. And honestly, you shouldn't care either, Lena. Your father is probably just going through a midlife crisis like every man has at some point. Don't be surprised if he shows up one day with your name tattooed on his arm, or riding a Harley-Davidson.
The statement made your daughter burst out laughing, while Toto shook his head, as if disapproving of your idea of him during a midlife crisis.
Well, a second midlife crisis.
Toto stopped the golf cart just behind the concierge, who was unloading your bags with the help of another employee. After you disembarked, the man invited the three of you to join him as he showed you your villa. With a living room richly decorated with colorful paintings and vases made by local artisans, three suites and spacious balconies overlooking the private pool, as well as the sea in the distance, the place felt like something out of a dream.
— Anything you need, we're here for you.
— Thanks — you replied, smiling.
Finally alone in the living room, the three of you looked at each other silently, as if waiting for someone to say something. Then, after looking at his watch and running a hand through his dark hair, Toto cleared his throat.
— So, what do you ladies want to do first? — he asked.
Looking at the orange tones that took over the sky, you smiled.
— I think we can start by figuring out where everyone will sleep.
— Dad can have the exterior room, right? — your daughter said.
— Why do I have to stay in that room? — Toto asked, his voice full of faux-outrage.
— Because mom and I are girls — Lena replied, linking her arm with yours — And girls always stay together on trips.
Your ex-husband couldn't hold his feigned disappointment for long.
— Okay, you can stay together. Just don't bring any boys here — he said, as he grabbed the handle of his bags and turned toward the door.
— What about men? — you asked, defiant. As he looked over his shoulder, something inscrutable flashed in his eyes.
— No men either, Y/N — he said as he left the villa’s main hall.
Giggling with laughter, you planted a kiss on Lena's forehead before telling her to go and put her bags in her room. After seeing her going through her bedroom’s door, it was your turn to make your way to your quarters, dragging your well-used suitcases noisily behind you. After setting them down in front of the small wooden cupboard, you allowed yourself to slump onto the soft mattress, closing your eyes.
The fact that you were on this trip was crazy.
The days dragged on at an excruciating pace, even though you were on vacation. As much as seeing Lena happy to be together with her father and mother on a trip after years was satisfying, but something was making you feel set on edge.
You couldn't say what it was, but you were sure it was related to how Toto was treating you. Unlike the interactions the two of you usually had, filled with sarcasm and acidity, the way your ex-husband was speaking to you was almost… sweet, delicate. He had even asked you to dance during a dinner in Porto Cervo, when the musicians started to play the music that had played during your first dance as husband and wife.
— I remember that night like it was yesterday — he murmured.
— Do you? — you asked quietly, as you felt his hand firmly hold yours — I thought you had too much on your mind to remember that.
He smiled.
— I could never forget the day my life changed, Y/N.
You should have guessed that this was just a strategy, a way to get you to drop your guard to deliver the final blow the next night, over dinner at one of the resort's restaurants. Silently, Toto, who was wearing one of his white monogrammed shirts and comfortable linen shorts, placed his silverware on the plate of ricotta ravioli and looked at Lena.
— Mon bébé, I know we're here to celebrate but I can't help but ask you about your plans — he said, with a serious expression — Have you chosen what you're going to study yet?
Your daughter wiped her mouth with her napkin, as she finished chewing.
— Well, I was talking to mom these days about it and I would really like to work on something related to international studies. You know, diplomacy.
— Diplomacy?
— You know, I learned how to be a mediator at home — Lena murmured, giving you a mischievous little smile. In a way, she wasn't wrong, after all, Lena had always been the person that balanced you and Toto, putting out the fires you started, especially because of her upbringing.
— And have you researched universities, bébé? — Toto asked, before taking a sip of wine.
— Mom gave me the contact information of some professors in the Political Science and Philosophy departments at the University of Vienna to schedule a visit and learn about them — she replied — Why?
— Well, I was thinking that maybe, if you wanted to, you could apply to a university outside of Austria.
You swallowed hard, the hands that held the cutlery going cold.
— Do you mean — your daughter babbled.
— Well, you know that I live in Oxford and there is a university of international prestige there, which has formed dozens of important figures in world history. American presidents, British prime ministers, kings, Nobel Prize winners. Perhaps you could…
— Study there? — Lena completed, looking impressed by the offer. Toto smiled.
— Exactly.
— But, I would need a place to stay…
— Magdalena, don't be ridiculous, you know you can live with me there. In fact, I would be very happy if you would move in with me while you're in Oxford. What do you think?
Your heart was racing in your chest, the cutlery clenched in your fists. You felt like you were going to explode with rage at any moment, jaw clenched. You couldn't believe your ex-husband had been capable of such a dirty move. But, you weren't going to let him win, not that night.
— Bullshit — you said, before Lena could process the question — That's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard, Torger.
— I was talking to Lena.
— She doesn't need to bother answering — you said, gruffly — She's not going to England.
— Mom — your daughter said, in a warning tone.
— What? Do you really think this is a good idea?
— Of course it's a good idea, Y/N, Oxford is a great — Toto began to argue.
— I don't care if Oxford is a good university, Lena won't go to England — you interrupted him, in a cold tone — And that's not open to discussion.
— But, mom...
— No buts, you're not going, Magdalena.
— Why not? — asked Toto.
— Because I will not let my daughter go to a foreign country alone, without any help or support…
Toto snorted.
— Y/N, did you really think Lena would be alone? Did you forget that I live there?
It was your turn to laugh.
— You live — you said, making air quotes with your fingers — Let's not be naive, you spend more time traveling than in that slum of yours in Oxford.
— Mom!
— For your information, my house is in one of the best areas of Oxford and has more than enough space for me and Lena — Toto spat.
— It’s not about space, Torger, I won't let her be alone there while you’re gallivanting around the world, playing with your cars!
— Would you rather she be left alone in Vienna while you play with your ancient junk collection? — he returned, venom dripping from his voice.
That sent a hot wave of anger up the back of your neck, your jaw clenched. Everything you had done had been for Lena. All the hours of work, all of the writing, research, assistant teaching, grading, earning your PhD, and working your way up in the university to be a respected, tenured professor, it had all been to provide for the life you two led in Vienna, as had been agreed upon during the divorce proceedings. Of course, the workload eventually took you and Lena apart physically, but that didn't lessen the love you felt for your daughter.
In fact, it only made it grow. And it was that love that made you get up, dropping your cloth napkin on the floor, jabbing your finger at your ex-husband.
— You watch your mouth talking about my work, you son of a bitch! — you snarled, causing several pairs of eyes to turn towards your table.
— Mom, for God's sake! — Lena exclaimed, trying to lower her hand — Everyone's looking at us!
— Let them look, Magdalena! — you spat — Let them know I'm not going to let this idiot say whatever he wants about my job!
— I just was repeating what you said, Y/N — Toto replied in an ironic tone.
— Dad! — your daughter growled, before looking back at you — Please, mom, calm down. Sit, please.
Annoyed, you settled back into your chair, your jaw set in anger. Your ex-husband looked at you with a certain cynicism in his eyes, as if he knew he had touched your most sensitive point. Beside you, Lena let out a sigh, as if trying to collect her thoughts.
— Is it really that hard for you not to fight like two kids? — she asked seriously.
— Lena — you stammered.
— No, mom — she said coldly — You promised that you wouldn't fight with dad on this trip, that you'd be nice. You promised me, mom.
— Bébé, please — Toto tried to interfere.
— Don’t bébé me, dad! — Lena exclaimed — You also have your share of blame. I asked you to be polite to my mother, not to make comments like that, to be understanding…
— I am being understanding, Lena!
— Being understanding is calling her work a joke? That’s your idea of being polite? — she asked, before turning to you, as if anticipating you were going to say something — And that goes for you too, mom. You two are acting like fucking children!
You thought of scolding her for her language, but you weren't able to, especially when you noticed that her eyes were wet.
— I just wanted that we could be a family, without these stupid fights over stupid things. You think about me so much that you forget that I think too, that I also have wishes and desires — Lena continued — It never crossed your minds that I don't want the same thing as you? That I don't want to stay in Vienna or go to England?
Your eyes met Toto's, guilt filling your chest. You always wanted Lena to have the freedom to do whatever she wanted, to fly even higher than you and your ex-husband. However, in your eagerness to provide a life full of experiences, you had forgotten the main thing, which was Lena herself.
— Lena — you said, watching her wipe away a tear that had trickled down her face.
— I just wanted you to stop thinking about yourselves and think about me — she spoke in a choked voice — That you would consider my opinion before deciding things for me.
— But we'll always consider your opinion — Toto said, reaching out a hand toward your daughter, who shrank away.
— Then why did you say you were going to take me to England?
— I — he hesitated, looking at you and then at Lena — I wanted to offer you a different experience, in a different country, in a different culture. I didn't think your mom would be so dramatic about it…
— I’m not being dramatic, Torger — you snapped.
Suddenly, Lena stood up, throwing her cloth napkin over the dish of spaghetti and shrimp she'd ordered, letting out a frustrated grunt.
— I give up on you two — she said, while picking up the bag that was hanging on the back of the chair — I give up!
You tried to protest, but didn't have time before you saw your daughter marching out of the restaurant, not looking back. A few seconds of hesitation later, you followed after her, not minding leaving the plate of pasta, that was already cold by that point.
— Lena! — you shouted, as you saw her walk towards one of the carts, sitting behind the wheel and throwing her purse on the seat next to it — Wait! My dear, please!
Your pleadings were of no avail as she stomped off the cart's accelerator, disappearing into the dark of the night and leaving you standing halfway on the dirt road with tears in your eyes.
Arriving back at the villa, after generous help from one of the staff who knew how to drive the cart, you went to Lena's bedroom door, placing a hand on the handle. However, when you turned it over, you found that it was locked.
— Lena, my love — you said, knocking lightly on the door.
— Go away! — she replied, the words hitting you like a knife.
— Lena, please, my daughter, open the door, let's talk...
— I don't want to talk to anyone! — she yelled — Go away!
You sighed in defeat, letting go of the handle and backing away from the door. Hearing Lena sobbing softly broke his heart into a thousand pieces. This was supposed to be a time of joy and celebration, not sadness and tears.
— Is Lena in the room? — you heard Toto ask. Looking towards the entrance, he was standing with his hands in the pockets of his shorts, a worried expression on his face.
— Yeah.
— Were you able to speak to her?
— No — you replied, realizing he was walking towards the door — And I doubt she'll talk to you.
Toto stopped suddenly, turning towards you slowly.
— You think you know everything about Lena, don't you?
— I'm her mother, Torger — you said, crossing your arms.
— And I'm her father, Y/N.
— And that changes the fact that you know anything about her?
— She is my only daughter — he began to say.
— Which is a miracle — you muttered, being solemnly ignored by him.
— So, I’d like to think I know her pretty well.
You laughed mockingly.
— So tell me, Torger, what's her favorite color? Who is her favorite singer? What is her favorite dish? If you know your daughter, you should know this.
Toto let out a sigh.
— This is pathetic, Y/N.
—The only thing that’s pathetic is you playing dirty — you snapped — Pathetic for you to want to take my daughter away from me! My only daughter!
You expected an equally aggressive response to yours coming from Toto. He had always been hot-headed, which, along with your short temper, was a recipe for disaster. However, your ex-husband just shook his head, heading towards the bar in the corner of the large living room.
— Whiskey? — he asked, as he grabbed a glass from the cupboard.
You blinked, shocked.
— You can't be thinking about drinking in this situation...
Toto took the bottle and poured a generous dose. Then, glass in hand and leaning against the bar, he sighed.
— And is there anything else we can do considering our daughter is locked in her room and isn’t going to talk to either of us? — he asked, taking a sip of his drink and grimacing — Ugh, this needs some ice.
As your ex-husband turned back to the bar, you walked slowly over to the couch and sat down, heaving a frustrated sigh. The feeling you had was that you had completely failed, not just with Lena, who had high expectations for that trip, but with yourself, for not being able to control your own feelings towards your daughter and Toto.
— Want some? — he asked, holding the drink out to you. Staring at the amber liquid for a few seconds, you were sure this was a very bad idea. “Fuck it”, you thought, picking up the glass and taking a generous swig of whiskey.
— Ugh — you growled, as the alcohol burned in your throat. Sitting beside you, Toto smiled at your grimace.
— Bad, isn't it?
— Terrible — you replied — I thought there was only good stuff here.
— Me too — Toto said, chuckling — Even that Ottakringer we drank on the way back from the Hockenheimring that one day tasted better.
You laughed at the memory, the watery taste of the beer being a funny reminder of the years when you still looked at each other with something other than anger and resentment.
— Indeed — you muttered, taking another sip before returning the glass.
The silence stretched for long seconds, the only sound in there being the ice clinking on the crystal as Toto poured another shot. After taking a sip, he handed the cup back to you.
— Y/N?
— Hm? — you murmured, before drinking some more whiskey.
— I would never take Magdalena away from you.
Lowering your glass to rest on your thigh, your eyes met Toto's, which were filled with a sadness that was clearly not part of the drink's effect.
— You wouldn’t? — you asked softly.
— I would never be able to take her away from you, Y/N.
— So — you hesitated for a few seconds, pressing your lips together — Why do you want to take her to England?
Toto let out a long sigh.
— Because I feel like it’s the only way to try and fix some of my mistakes, Y/N — he said, his gaze locked on some middle point in the distance.
— Your mistakes?
— I always promised myself that I wouldn't be like my father, that I would do everything I could do right by my — Toto hesitated before correcting himself — By our children. And when Lena was born, I told myself I would do anything to make sure she had a happy life with us and… I screwed up.
You swallowed hard.
— I screwed up when I got in that car at the Nürburgring and insisted on making that lap record attempt. Niki was right, it was idiotic, and nobody cared about some silly GT car lap record. Honestly, I don't blame you for asking for a divorce after that, I would have done the same if it were me — he continued, running a hand through his hair — But it hurt, Y/N. It hurt to see you leaving with all that pain in your eyes. But, I accepted your decision and did exactly what my father did before he died…
— You mean, you becoming distant?
He nodded.
— I thought it would be best for you and Lena to be away from my sadness, my depression, but in the end, it wasn’t. She needed her dad, too, just like I needed mine.
You took another sip of whiskey, feeling your eyes sting with tears. Asking for a divorce had been the hardest decision you had ever made in your life, but you were convinced that you didn't belong there anymore. However, the truth is that you wanted to insist on Toto, insist on your love.
After all, your love for him was still there, sleeping inside your chest, but alive, begging you to let it out.
— So, your way of fixing your mistakes is by asking Lena to come live in England with you?
He took the glass of whiskey and drank the rest of the liquid.
— Not all of them, but some. I know I'll never be able to fix my mistakes with you.
— Have you tried, Toto? — you asked without hesitation.
— Tried what?
— Tried to fix your mistakes with me.
He set the glass down on the coffee table before looking at you.
— Do you want me to try, Y/N?
Your heart was beating heavily, pounding against the front of your chest.
— It's what I want most — you whispered.
Toto's hand slid towards your face, lightly caressing your cheek. With your eyes fixed on his, you matched the gesture by taking your hand to the back of his neck, while your mind took you to the night of your first kiss. On that occasion, the kiss had been calm, almost hesitant, the taste of wine dancing on your tongue as his scent invited you to dive deeper into him.
Facing him again, 15 years since the last time you had shared a kiss, the impression you had was that nothing had changed. The smell was the same. The man was the same. The invitation was the same.
And you accepted.
The first touch brought back memories of your other kisses. The happy kiss at the altar after being declared man and wife. The emotional kiss after you told him you were pregnant. The kiss that took place, with your daughter in your arms, after long and exhausting hours of childbirth. In all of them, the warmth that filled your chest was comforting and familiar, like approaching a campfire after a long time wandering in the cold.
It felt like coming home.
His fingers slid into your hair, tangling in the strands, while his tongue sought passage through your lips. Scratching the back of Toto's neck with your fingernails, you allowed him to savor you, the taste of him mixed with the resort's particularly bad whiskey. However, that was a minor detail at that moment.
What mattered was that you had finally found each other again.
— Y/N — Toto whispered, pulling away slightly from your face, breathing heavily — I…
Your fingers touched his lips in a silent request for him to not say anything. There was no reason to say anything more or hesitate any longer, not when you’d imagined this for so long.
This was inevitable, after so many times imagining what it would be like to try again every time you went to pick Lena up from the apartment Toto had moved into after the divorce, your gaze meeting the resignation in his expression every time you asked your daughter to say goodbye. It was inevitable to think of the sweet words he would whisper in your ear while watching his interviews on television, as well as the affectionate touch when you saw him gesticulating with his hands, while explaining something to the reporter.
As Toto leaned over your body, you allowed yourself to slide your hands under his linen shirt, feeling the firm muscles he had developed in the years after the divorce. Pulling the fabric up his torso, you quickly tried to undress him, which made him smile against your lips.
— You're still the same anxious little thing you always have been — Toto muttered, before slouching off his shirt and discarding it on the floor.
Then he dove towards your neck, nibbling ravenously at your skin, causing involuntary gasps to leave your lips, your body asking for more than just kisses and a well-positioned knee between your legs. You needed him like you were drowning and he was the surface.
However, when his fingers slid down the sides of your thighs, beneath your light summer dress, Toto pulled back, glancing back before meeting your inquiring gaze.
— What’s wrong? — you whispered.
— I thought I heard a door open — he replied softly, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes — And I don't know how good it would be for our daughter to see her divorced parents making out on a couch like two teenagers.
You smiled, bringing your hand to his face.
— You’re right. Besides, I think we're a bit too old for making out on the couch.
Toto laughed.
— Do you want to go to your room, then?
— Yes — you whispered.
Toto helped you to your feet and the two of you tiptoed to your suite. As Toto closed the door behind you, you busied yourself with undoing the knot of fabric at the back of your neck and sliding your dress down your body, bringing your panties with it. When Toto turned around and found you completely naked in front of him, he smiled. He walked toward you in slow steps as his eyes roamed over your skin like he was taking in all of the changes of your decade apart.
— It feels like our first time — he murmured, placing his hands on your hips.
You gave a small smile, as your mind transported you to that night in his apartment, where, after a few glasses of wine, you gave yourself to each other for the first time. It had been slow and romantic, with Toto insisting on learning every detail of your body to give you the pleasure you deserved.
However, you knew that statement was not entirely true. Since that night, your body had changed drastically, being pushed to the limit to bring your daughter into the world. You were no longer that young girl, but a mature woman, whose skin bore the marks of motherhood on your breasts, belly and hips.
— Well, the only difference is me.
He raised an eyebrow.
— You?
— I'm not the same person I was that night — you murmured, taking a hand to your belly. Then, with your finger, you traced the path of one of the faded stretch marks that seemed to glow against your skin, watching as his eyes were fixed on the movement of your hand — I've changed a lot since I had Lena… 
Bringing one hand to your chin, he lifted your face so you could meet his warm, gentle gaze.
— And yet you're still beautiful. Do you know why?
— Why?
— Because those are marks of love, Y/N. Marks of our love, which gave us our beautiful daughter. And I love every single one of them — Toto said, before bringing your lips to his. The kiss was delicate, as were the steps he took towards the bed, his hands caressing your skin, as if he wanted to assure you that his words were true and that he, in fact, loved each of one of those marks, even if they made you feel old and inadequate at times.
When you felt your back land on the soft duvet, you opened your eyes again to find Toto still standing on the edge of the bed, quickly taking off his shorts. Seeing him stark naked in front of you made you allow an anxious gasp to escape your lips.
— All good? — he asked as he positioned himself between your legs, one hand busy pumping his own cock.
— Yes — you replied, your eyes fixed on the movement of his hand and the anticipation of feeling him inside you. Following his gaze, Toto seemed to remember something.
— Do you want to use a condom?
— Do you think we need it? — you asked, almost innocently. In a normal context of casual sex, you wouldn't go without some sort of protection. However, that wasn't just a casual fuck, but a reunion.
— Well, I didn’t bring any. Did you?
— No…
— Great — he murmured — I also had a vasectomy a few years ago, so I don't think we’re going to get in any trouble, or anything.
— I wouldn’t mind if we got into some trouble — you said quietly. Something about the idea of having another child with him made your skin tingle. Lena had always asked for a brother and you had always said no, stating that having one copy of Toto at home was enough for you. However, at that moment, you wished that you had a few more of him.
— I wouldn't mind either, Y/N — he whispered, as he positioned himself between your legs, his cock brushing your clit lightly — Not at all.
The pressure that accompanied the low growl that came out of Toto's throat had you rolling your eyes as a strangled groan escaped your lips. A warm wave ran over your skin, your nails digging into his skin as his dick settled inside you.
— Fuck — Toto said through clenched teeth, eyelids fluttering with pleasure.
You wanted to speak, but at the same time, no words came out of your parted lips. Raising your hands to his face, you pulled him against you, your lips against his in a slow, wanting kiss. That moment encouraged Toto to move his hips against yours, savoring the pleasure that coursed through your bodies.
The rhythm built almost instinctively, the strength of your fingers making him accelerate his thrusts against your pussy, the sound of your wetness joining your moans.
— Yes, yes, yes, Toto — you muttered under your breath, encouraging him to continue at that pace, feeling your muscles tense.
— I missed you so much, liebes — he growled, as he took his hand to one of your legs and pulled it higher, slightly changing the angle of your hips — So, so, so much…
— Me too, me too — you replied in a low voice, while pressing your heel against the base of Toto's spine. Your body begged for more, much more than just the pleasure he was giving you. You wanted his anger, his pride, his joy and his love. You wanted to become a part of him, the same way you wanted him to become a part of you.
As you felt his fingertips brush against your clit, you felt your whole body tense, your lips tightening in an attempt to stifle your moans. It was so much that your eyes filled with tears, but something inside you said that they weren't limited to that effort.
It wasn't just lust or lust anymore.
It was love. Pure, simple, and finally awake after so long.
It was with that thought and eyes finally open again, locked on Toto's, that you felt your body finally reach its climax, your lips letting out a groan before he kissed you, muffling the sound. Your legs shook as your nails dug into his shoulders as he took his last thrusts.
— Y/N, fuck — Toto growled before he came, followed by a primal growl, as if this was his way of claiming you for himself. And with the heat of his pleasure inside you, the certainty that you were his only grew. You had always been his.
Pulling his cock out of your pussy, your ex-husband collapsed next to you on the bed, breathing heavily. Staring at the ceiling in silence, something inside you wanted to feel guilt, while your muscles were still shaking with the aftershocks. However, you didn't feel any remorse or regret.
— Are you okay? — Toto asked you. Looking in his direction, you smiled.
— Yeah… You? — you whispered.
— I feel better than I have in a long time — he said, making you laugh — What?
— You sound like you haven't had sex in years.
— Well, it has been years since I've had sex with someone I loved, so…
The phrase made you turn your body towards Toto, resting your head on his shoulder. Something in the way he looked at you filled your chest with something completely different from anything you had felt until then.
Hope.
— Do you love me? — you asked softly.
— I never stopped loving you, liebes. Not even when I wanted to hate you for leaving. I can only love you. I don’t know how to do anything but love you — he replied, before kissing your forehead tenderly. And it was there, nestled in his chest, that you fell into a serene and, in a way, happy sleep.
The next morning, you woke up to the sound of knocking on your bedroom door.
— Mom? — Lena's muffled voice asked — Are you there?
Rubbing your eyes, you were about to respond when you realized you hadn't slept alone. The sound of the shower coming from the bathroom indicated that Toto had already woken up and, probably, that was what made your daughter knock.
— Yes, honey, I'm here — you replied, in an uncertain tone.
— Can I come in?
Suddenly your eyes widened, adrenaline rushing through your body as you scrambled to your feet, quickly looking for something to wear.
— No, I'm getting dressed!
— But you never…
— Wait a minute, my love — you shouted towards the entrance of the room, while picking up a robe that was hanging on one of the armchairs. Clutching the terry cloth against your body, you went to the door and opened a small crack — Hi, honey.
Lena was looking at you with a serious expression, her eyes still swollen from the tears she had shed the night before.
— Good morning, mom.
— Are you okay?
— Yeah, I am — she replied — I wanted to talk to you. Actually, I wanted to talk to you and dad, but I don’t know where he is.
You felt a shiver run down your spine. She definitely couldn't even imagine Toto was right next door, washing the remnants of sex and sweat from his skin in your bathroom.
— He must have gone to the gym or taken a walk on the beach — you tried to dismiss, feeling your heart pound in your chest.
— I don't know, mom, the living room is a mess — she said, looking at the room next door — There's a bottle of whiskey, some empty glasses, dad’s shirt is on the floor...
“Fucking hell, Torger, of all the times to not be so uptight about cleaning”, you thought.
— He must be hungover, like that time in Abu Dhabi — you said, causing Lena to smirk.
— That was terrible — she muttered.
— Indeed.
You stared at each other in silence for a few seconds.
— Well, I'll let you finish your shower and then we'll see what to do. Do you want me to order breakfast?
— Yes, that would be great. Thank you — you replied, before smiling and closing the door, letting out a sigh of relief. Your daughter definitely didn't need to know that you had just slept with her dad, especially after almost 15 years since your divorce.
It was an unnecessary shock for that moment.
Opening the bathroom door, you saw Toto's silhouette through the fogged glass, his fingers buried in his dark hair as he rinsed the shampoo out of his hair. You crept toward the shower, opening the door a crack to watch him, savoring the way the water ran down his body with your lower lip between your teeth.
Then, he opened his eyes.
— Good morning, liebes — Toto said, with a smile.
— Good morning.
— Was that Lena at the door?
— Yeah. She wants to talk to us, but she couldn't find you anywhere.
— I can't imagine why — he murmured, making you smile — Want to come in with me? I can wash your hair if you want.
Nodding, you took off your robe and stepped into the shower with Toto, feeling his warm, wet hands wrap around your waist. Smiling, you couldn't resist giving him a kiss, while the drops of hot water fell on your body.
— I love you, liebes — he said softly, his lips brushing yours.
— I love you too, darling.
He washed your hair practically silently, only speaking to ask you to step under the jet of hot water. While you were drying off, Toto asked you if you had any plans to get him out of your room without being seen by Lena. After a few minutes of discussion, you opted to split up, with you distracting her while he went back to his own suite to get dressed and pretend nothing had happened.
It looked perfect.
With your hair still damp, you left your room trying to ignore the tightness in your stomach. Quickly scanning the room, you found your daughter leaning against the glass railing of the balcony, her gaze lost on the horizon. Approaching slowly, you were thinking of asking about her plans for the day when she spoke up.
— I already ordered breakfast — Lena said, not looking at you.
— Oh, good — you replied — Thank you, darling.
More silence. Your heart was pounding in your chest.
— Look, my love, I...
— You're going to apologize for yesterday, aren't you?
— Yeah. I shouldn’t have acted like that, and ruined your night…
— Mom — Lena said, looking at you — It wasn't about ruining my night. The problem there was that you did exactly the opposite of what I asked you to do before we left home.
You pursed your lips.
— I know you hate each other and that you wish the other didn't exist, but you can't change the past, much less the fact that you had a daughter together.
— I know, my love…
— Then why did you make that whole scene at the restaurant?
— Because I don't want to lose you, Magdalena — you replied, in a low voice — You are my only daughter, the person I love most in the world and...
— Mom, you won't lose me.
— Are you sure? — you asked her, your voice cracking.
— Yes, I am. But, you have to understand that I grew up and that I can make my own choices, without you or dad deciding for me — Lena said, her tone of voice making her sound much older than she really was.
— And what did you decide? — a deep voice asked. Looking back, you found Toto standing at the balcony door, his hands in the pockets of his shorts.
Lena smiled.
— I've decided I'm not going to decide anything here — she said — I'll go over my options when I get home, alone, without either of you two putting pressure on me.
— You know you don't have to…
— Mom — Lena interrupted you — I need to do this alone. I know you want to help me, just like dad does, but I have to decide things for myself, no matter how difficult they are.
Looking at Lena, you finally realized that you were no longer in front of the same little girl that you had put on your lap and taken away from the apartment where you lived with Toto, back in 2009. You were in front of a woman, who, in addition to love, you also deeply admired.
— It's okay, bébé — Toto finally spoke — It's always your decision. But, know that we will always be by your side, supporting you no matter what choice you make. Isn't that right, Y/N?
You hesitated, looking at your daughter with a tight lump in your throat. “Does it have to be that hard?”, you asked yourself.
— Mom?
— You know I'll always support you, Lena — you finally managed to speak — Even though it's terrible to think about being away from you, not being able to hug you, kiss you and tell you how much I love you whenever I want. I'm always by your side, my love.
She smiled, advancing towards the two of you and enveloping you in a tight hug. Closing your eyes, you allowed yourself to savor that moment, feeling the warmth of your daughter's arms and of Toto, who had run a hand down your back to bring you both closer to him.
Feeling him kiss your hair, you smiled.
You were home. Finally home.
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thebisexualdogdad · 1 year ago
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Okay here me out...
Bully/Jock Kate Bishop x nerd male reader smut?
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Kate Bishop x Male!reader
*non-archer Kate College AU*
● Kate Bishop is one of the most popular (and richest) girls on campus
● she was made the captain of the soccer team, water polo team and track & field team all by sophomore year
● you on the other hand were quite the opposite and had been picked on by her group of jock friends ever since your were freshman living in the same co-ed dorm building
● though secretly you and Kate had been hooking up for months
● it started when her grades were slipping and she needed to hire a tutor to be able to keep her spot on all the sports teams
● her mom gave her a bunch of money and told her to find the smartest kid on campus which just happened to be you
● she had recently broken up with her douchey football playing boyfriend and kissed you while alone in the schools library during one of your study sessions
● “don't get any ideas I'm only making out with you for a rebound” she says taking you to one of the closed off bookcase aisles to keep making out
● but then a week later she was on a high from winning a soccer game and found herself knocking on your apartment door
● “don't you dare tell anyone about this its a one time thing” she says as you're taking off her clothes
● but it wasn't a one time thing
● she was coming over to your apartment at least twice a week to hook up
● she even invited you to one of her famous parties
● “what the hell is he doing here?” One of her friends asked when they saw you walk through the door
● “no idea but I'm kicking him out” Kate says
● but she doesn't and instead sneaks you upstairs to her room
● and in the morning makes you climb down from her second story window while her roommates were passed out in the living room hungover from the night before
● you fall straight into a bush and stumble out of it whispering “I'm okay” which makes her laugh
● Kate is quite demanding in the bedroom
● she knows exactly what she wants and isn't afraid to be direct in getting it
● plus she finds it really hot that you let her order you around
● and thanks to her athletic stamina she can go for hours and in the craziest positions
● when she rides you you get to watch every single one of the defined muscles in her body flexing
● she loves leaving hickies all over your neck and chest
● she proudly smirks to herself when she sees you walking around campus trying to cover them up
● you've gotten quite good at eating her out (which she taught you how to do to ensure she always gets the most pleasurable orgasms)
● some nights she makes you go down on her until your jaw can't take it anymore
● she'll return the favor by slipping underneath your study table at the library to give you a blowjob that makes your knuckles turn white from gripping the table so hard
● she's also big on giving you praise during sex
● you have plenty of quickies in your car in between classes
● and hook ups in locker rooms when her teammates leave after practice
● her mom bought her a huge house with a pool in a secluded backyard so she's able to do private training for water polo (and for her and her roommates to have pool parties)
● so she also invites you over when her roommates are gone to go skinny dipping in said pool
● you weren't aware that her ex had been trying to get back with her for a while
● one of his buddies who just so happened to live in the same student apartment building as you saw Kate leaving your place
● so he told her ex which led to him trying to fight you outside the food hall
● Kate sees him punch you and runs over to the commotion
● “what the fuck Kate? This is the guy you get with?”
● her friends are looking at her and she panics
● “you've got it all wrong, I'm just tutoring her,” you lie with blood running down your face from your nose
● “no, I'm dating Y/N,” she confesses
● her ex raises his fist to punch you again but Kate kicks him in the nuts making him fall to the ground
● she takes your hand and gets you out of there going back to your apartment to clean you up
● “so we're dating huh?” You tease her
● “yeah and don't make me regret it” she laughs before kissing you
296 notes · View notes
daisyvisions · 1 year ago
Text
✦ Day 27 - Mutual Masturbation
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‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Pairing: Classmate!Kevin x afab!reader
‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Word Count: 1.7K
‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Warnings: Smut (18+, minors DNI), mutual masturbation, cum play, French kissing, some teasing, just the tip 😏, unprotected sex & creampie (essentially), pet name (baby), some video recording (but not Kevin… you’ll see why), allusions to more sexual activity
‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. A/N: another kinktober I had to completely change the theme because I was stuck. Then I remembered I had this idea drafted for Kevin and decided it was the perfect time to continue the story. This one was hot and fun to make hehe enjoy! Proofread once.
‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Network: @deoboyznet
✦ Kinktober Masterlist ✦
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Halloween night. The day you’ve been dreading the most since your most recent break-up. You used to love this special day honestly, especially going in matching costumes with your significant other. But that was entirely ruined after finding out your long time boyfriend had been cheating on you behind your back… with your best friend.
You swore after that moment you’d never want to love anyone again. To pour your heart and soul into someone who didn’t not only treated your love like dirt, but also took advantage of it in every way possible.
But of course, you couldn’t avoid this day. Especially when you’re being dragged to go to a Halloween party by your now only best friend Hyunjae.
“C’mon! It will be fun I promise!” he pleaded over the phone. As much as you wanted to skip the party, You could never say no to Hyunjae even after being by your side through your heartbreak and giving your ex a good ol’ punch in the face when you two were at the movies.
And so here you were, standing in the corner of the living room watching others get drunk and have their hands all over each other. You’re not gonna lie, one thing you did somewhat miss from your past relationship was the sexual aspect of it.
You were needy, incredibly needy. And watching other people practically make out and touch each other was making you hornier than ever. You started questioning yourself if you should just leave or find someone to scratch this itch….
“Oh fuck it!” you internally cursed as you settled on going for the latter.
You push yourself off from leaning against the wall and walk straight to Hyunjae, who seems to be busy scoring tonight with someone as well. You shake his shoulder to get his attention, causing him to break the heated make out he was having with the girl on his lap.
“Ugh, what- oh hey!” Hyunjae greets you as the girl on his lap continues kissing his neck.
“I need your help. I’m incredibly desperate right now. Find me someone and tell them to meet me upstairs in the guest bedroom. I’m counting on you.” You tell him straight up.
“Say no more!” He reassures you, with a tiny smirk creeping up on his face. You turn around and head upstairs while you wait for Hyunjae’s pick of the night.
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“Come again?” Kevin asks Hyunjae, making sure he heard what he said correct.
“Look, I know you’ve been feeling a bit needy lately and I think I've found just the person for you in this party.” Hyunjae responds, placing his hand on Kevin’s shoulder.
“But who-” Kevin’s suddenly interrupted by Hyunjae. “Don’t worry, I got it sorted out. They’re completely okay with hooking up with someone tonight too. Trust me, you’re not gonna regret this.” Hyunjae replies with a smug look in his face.
Truth be told, Hyunjae knew of Kevin’s crush on you even if he didn’t say it to him. The way Kevin would steal glances at you while all of you would hang out together was more than enough to realize. Of course, Kevin never made moves on you since you were taken at the time.
And Hyunjae took this as his perfect moment to play Cupid when he saw Kevin in the same party.
“O-okay then…” Kevin says. He starts walking away and up to the room where Hyunjae said the mystery person would be in.
Yes, Kevin was quite needy too. He wasn’t expecting to hook up with anyone tonight but the way Hyunjae made it sound was convincing enough for him to go for it.
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As you’re lying down on the bed, you hear the sound of a knock and the doorknob jiggling and turning. You immediately sit up and wait to see who was behind the door. The moment Kevin laid his eyes on you, he wanted to vomit.
How could Hyunjae do this to him? That little piece of shi-
“Kevin? Is that you?” you tilt your head to the side to get a better look at the person at the door.
“Uh… yeah it’s me.” He shyly replies. “I think I have the wrong room uhm- I’m just gonna g-”
“Did Hyunjae ask you to come up here?” You interrupt him.
“Y-yeah… he did.” Kevin looks at the ground trying not to make eye contact with you, afraid he might fuck up whatever might happen between you two.
“Well… don’t just stand there, get in here!” You tell him.
As soon as he plops down to the space beside you on the bed, Kevin fiddles with his fingers. There’s an awkward silence between you two.
“So… why are you here?” Kevin randomly asks as he tries to break off the silence.
“Same as you… horny.” You awkwardly chuckle. The silence falling between you two once again. You huff, slightly annoyed at how this is going especially when you feel the ache in your core from being horny all night.
“Look Kevin, if you’re worried about anything? Don’t. I’m horny, you’re horny. We don’t even have to fuck, we can just… be in each other’s company?”
“You mean like just watch each other get off?” Kevin looks at you this time, now easing the awkward tension.
“Yeah, that way we both get what we want tonight. Sound good?” You ask.
“S-sure. Yeah let’s do it.” He stutters in disbelief that the girl he’s been secretly crushing on is about to touch herself in front of him.
You both get up to fix yourselves peeling any clothing until you’re both just in your underwear, sitting on the bed again now facing each other.
You can tell Kevin’s nervous about this from how he normally acts. You grab his hands and try to get him to look at you.
“Hey, we don’t need to do this if you don’t want to.” You reassure him.
“What? Oh- no no! I really want to do to this. Been wanting to do this since forever actually...” Blush appearing on his cheeks at the sudden confession.
“Really now?” You say with a playful but sultry voice.
“Yeah, like really. You’re so pretty…” Your bodies inch closer to one another on the bed.
“Wanna show me what you do when you think about me?” You smirk at him.
And without thinking Kevin leans forward to kiss your lips. You smile against his lips, finding him so adorable. Your kisses start out as small pecks until they deepen, sounds of lips intertwining with one another echoing between you two.
Groaning into other’s mouths as he pulls your legs onto his lap, caressing your legs until you move one leg behind Kevin, scooting over to get even closer to him. You both start to slowly touch one another, caressing sensitive parts as you try to get each other in the mood.
Kevin gropes your breast for a moment before sliding down his hand, touching your stomach until his two fingers lightly rub the wet patch forming in your underwear. You whine into his mouth as your kisses turn into erotic French kissing.
He slips his fingers inside your underwear, rubbing circles on your clit as he pulls his cock out of his boxers. He grabs your hand, guiding you to hold his member and pump it up and down. You both break the kiss to watch each other.
“Shit you’re so wet.” Kevin looks at his fingers prodding at your core. The sounds of your arousal ringing in his ears.
“Kevin please-” You beg, the way his cock looks in your hand as you pump him makes you hornier than ever. “Please, just the tip?” You look at him with doe eyes.
“You’re killing me here baby, fuck-” You feel his cock twitch in your hand. The thought of his mushroom tip teasing your pussy making him more desperate.
He pulls you closer to his body, letting you guide his member towards your core. He helps pull your panties to the side as you guide the head of his cock to rub through your folds for a moment before sticking the head inside of your wet entrance.
You moan in unison, your walls already tightening around his tip as you continue to pump him while he uses his free hand to rub your sensitive bud with his fingers.
“So tight and it's not even all the way in…” He mumbles, trying to keep his eyes open to watch the borderline pornographic sight in front of him. You French kiss each other again, the feeling of your tongues lapping at one another.
“Please-” you beg once more, feeling your high approaching faster than you anticipated.
“Gonna cum baby? Gonna cum for me?” He whispers.
You nod your head as rock your hips, the tip of his cock going in and out of you. Whimpering at the thought that he could just easily fuck himself into you but he doesn’t.
“T-think I’m gonna cum too. Whe-where do you want me to-”
“Inside Kevin, fuck please please please!” You plead.
You moan into each other’s mouth as you cum together, his sticky hot load partially shooting inside as some of it lands on top of your cunt. You continue to rub his cum all over you with his tip until he pulls away for a moment from feeling the slight sting of his member being overly sensitive.
He swipes the cum on your core with his fingers and pushes it inside your hole, pumping his fingers in and out for a moment as you gasp from how dirty this act looks.
“Think you can handle a bit more?” He smirks as he hints at you for another round.
“As long as you take me out on a date after this.” You smirk back at him.
You continue to touch each other, unknowing that there was someone by the door taking a video recording of your compromising positions this entire time.
As soon as he got enough evidence of you and Kevin, he quickly reviewed the video, typed in the name of your ex on his phone and sent the video with a message,
“Looks like the day you’ve been dreading has finally arrived. Happy Halloween asshole - Hyunjae 👻😘”
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onepiece-polls · 1 year ago
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One Piece Shipping War - Bonus Poll!
The winner of the poly ship bracket vs the most popular (and honestly, only) Buggy ship of the duo bracket!
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Propaganda under the cut. [contains some spoilers]
Propaganda for Cross Guild:
Idk there's something about three people who hate each other that just works.
they don't need no propaganda. I could never make propaganda like buggy the clown does in canon
mr. pathetic (buggy) paired with two actual warlords who could (but haven't !) demolished him ? it has to be love
Crocodile and Mihawk are a fucked up rich ass couple and Buggy is the chihuahua in their purse
CROSSGUILDCROSSGUILD XXX
Its cross guild. you know why (mod: as an anime-only fan, I don't, but I'm looking forward to find out 😂)
Propaganda for Shanks x Buggy:
What if we were childhood friends who gave up our drama for each other then never saw each other again for years
What can I say, I'm a fellow shuggy truther too 🤝
Shanks obviously adores Buggy, and Buggy is so tsundure~! Mr 'I hate Shanks'-but-will-take-every-opportunity-to-talk-about-him-and-be-with-him.
Oden says in his journal that he can't tell if they're friends of enemies, and I just love that. Plus when you add in the revelation about Shanks and Buggy in the recent chapters.
They're childhood friends. They're exes. They've been married for 20 years. They're opposites. They're the same. They're silly goofy guys who make me want to cry my heart out. Red/Blue is always meant to be.
Buggy """""HATES""""" Shanks. This hate is so strong that he WILL yell at this red-haired bastard despite the fact that he is a coward, who is terrified of all the Emperors. Everyone thinks this is strange. However, when you grow up with said Emperor on the same boat, watching him stumble over his feet as he's trying to learn to use a sword, stuck scrubbing the whole deck because he was stupid enough to prank "Dark King" Rayleigh, and make that same stupid pouty face every time his Conqueror's Haki doesn't do anything because he is an itty bitty child, most of that fear gets pretty quelled. Also, that same fucker lost an arm because he's a DUMBASS and he deserves to be made fun of for it (not because Buggy is worried and missed him not at all no no Shanks is just DUMB and needs to be TOLD he is dumb more. But just by Buggy. Because Buggy has known his idiocy forever. He has earned the right to yell at this stupid, stupid Emperor for being a self-sacrificing fool and for giving away that stupid hat and... Wait, hang on, when did this bastard get hot!? WHAT THE FUC-) And Shanks just keeps smiling at Buggy and his antics because he has 100% been in love with him since they were children (his actions while they were on the Roger pirates are the DEFINITION of pigtail-pulling as flirting) and he is just happy to see that he's safe while being exactly the same larger-than-life clown he always knew. He would gladly give up his life of sluttery (that I am convinced this man has. Just look at how he exists) if Buggy would just agree to join his crew, but will not push him if he doesn't want to. He just loves his pretty clown from a distance and waits. TLDR: Buggy is mad that he's in love with Shanks and Shanks just likes existing with and/or annoying Buggy (they come as a pair). GOD I just love childhood friends to lovers bro. Just let the cabin boys kiss.
[Spoiler Warning] Red and Blue gays! Emperor husbands! Childhood friends to enemies to lovers!
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gulliblelemon · 6 months ago
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Young Royals Fic Recommendations 3
My reading has slowed down a lot recently as I've been doing more writing. But I've definitely got enough for another (probably too long) rec list! Previous lists are here and here.
As ever, I've tried to include Tumblr usernames. Let me know if I've missed any.
(I also have my own fic list here). And also a Part 4.
Ivy by @unfortunate17 32k words. Complete. Rating E. Wilhelm is a Navy Officer and Simon is a pirate. As usual, they are desperately in love. (Honourable mention to Little Light by the same author).
'Tis the Damn Season by littlebluefish 31k words. Complete. Rating M. Canon divergence from end of Season 1. Simon and Wilhelm are friends. They find their way back to each other.
should've said no (and you might still have me) by @bigalockwood 53k words. Complete. Rating T. When aspiring songwriter Simon Eriksson catches his boyfriend cheating on him, just writing angry break-up songs won’t cut it. And what better way to get back at his ex than to date the guy he’d been eying? This is a story about how Simon seeks revenge… and Wille becomes collateral damage along the way.
A Most Distracting Pair Of Studs by c_violet @peakotp 1k words. Complete. Rating G. Wilhelm discovers a distracting new Simon fact.
esa boquita roja by @grapehyasynth 2k words. Complete. Rating T. He wants to taste Simon’s lip gloss, and then he wants to taste Simon.
always on the tip of my tongue by @royalwilmon 68k. WIP. Rating E. Friends. A decade ago, they could have been more, but that's not what happened. They remained friends. Best friends. Benefits. Because having a best friend who knows you inside and out can have its perks.
Share Your Address by itsme_hi_imtheproblem @iwouldnevergetintofanfic 69k words. Complete. Rating E. Simon and Wille become unlikely roommates. Both of them are surprised when instead they quickly become friends. Just friends. Despite what other people soon start insinuating. Because roommates and romance don't mix, right? (honourable mention to My Bad and Is It Over Now? by the same author).
Coffee Is The Best Midnight Oil by online_campfire_tales 4k words. Complete. Rating G. Simon is an insomniac that spends restless nights on his balcony. Wilhelm is his fellow-insomniac neighbour that feels terrible for making Simon spill his drink. Can I make it any more obvious?
Favours by RubyIntyale @earlgrey-lateatnight 3k words. Complete. Rating E. Wille and Simon are roommates and best friends. Simon has slipped on some ice and broken his wrist. He’s struggling with everyday tasks, but the thing that’s really getting him down is that he can’t get himself off. Wille, kind and considerate friend that he is (and harbouring a secret infatuation), offers to help him out.
Sore Loser by @piebingo 7k words. Complete. Rating T. How Simon (badly) handles seeing Wilhelm fall in love with someone else on a reality TV dating show.
You're The Cutest Jailbird I Ever Did See by @pagegirlintraining and the-amber-fox 7k words. Complete. Rating T. If you asked Simon and Wille, neither of them could tell you exactly how they ended up inside a cell at the Bjärstad police department for getting in a fight with August and his friends. The thing is, neither of them is mad that they ended up there together.
all for the cause by Elin98 @ishotforthestars 10k words. Complete. Rating T. The one where Wille and Simon end up co-hosting Musikhjälpen 2026, raising money for charity and accidentally falling in love in the process. All for the good cause.
at sunrise / al amanecer by emerybemery 1k words. Complete. Rating G. Simon is in love with Wilhelm, but the Prince could never know that. Simon sleeps in the Prince’s bed nearly every night, but he always leaves, at sunrise.
forever i'm yours by @goldenwilmon 22k words. Complete. Rating E. Simon takes a chance when he sees Wilhelm from afar at a party on a January night, sparking an instant connection between them. They spend a year falling in love.
Faroe Gone by @groenendaelfic 36k words. WIP. Rating E. The Queen is dying; parliament is about to name August Horn of Årnäs her successor; and Simon Eriksson is rushing across the ocean armed with nothing but a ten-year-old piece of paper searching for the boy he fell in love with when he was sixteen, or rather the man who is Sweden's rightful next King.
Coffee Dates by sofia_with_an_f 23k words. Complete. Rating T. AU Royal Simon/Commoner Wilhelm. College roommates.
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am-i-the-asshole-official · 11 months ago
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WIBTA if I were to report my ex friend's antisemitism to their university?
So I 20nb have been friends with most my current friend group since we were 11. Two years ago I stopped being friends with a guy in my friend group due to toxic behavior on his part (not antisemitic yet, just giving background info) He would constantly say things like "don't make fun of neurodivergent people's special interests and hyperfixations as they can't help it" and then would go and make fun of my special interests (note: said ex friend has ADHD). Over our friendship he had a lot of double standards like that and one day I had enough. The first time I brought it up he dismissed it as someone else in the friend group did the behaviors I'm accusing him of. I kinda dropped it as I didn't want to deal with that level of denial and thought that if I waited a few days he would have had some time to reflect. So I brought it up again and he continued to blame it being one of our other friends doing it and that I was simply "misremembering". I gave specific examples and rough time frames yet he continued to deny it. All I wanted was a simple "I'm sorry and I will work on that" yet he refused to do that. So I ended our friendship.
Since then we have been on rocky terms. We are still in the same friend group since the issue was between me and him, I didn't want to involve my friends and make people pick sides. He was moving away soon at the time of the end of our friendship so it wasn't like I was going to see him when the friend group all hung our together.
Since we are still in the same friend group, he is in the discord server our friend group has which is just like a massive group chat with things categorized into topics.
Recently there is the current conflict going on in Israel and Palenstine. I am Jewish and vented to the vent section of that discord server about how I have seen people I know irl post online antisemitic things. I am very much against Israels actions and made sure to include that in my vent so no one coukd twist my words. I didn't initially say exactly what I was seeing as I was still processing the fact that I was going to have to cut some people off.
He then replied to my vent saying that he has never seen anything antisemitic online and that if he has, he has seen Jewish people saying that it isnt. I replied that his reply to my vent was weird and that i was talking about people saying that all jews should die. I felt hurt as yet again he was being hypocritical towards me as he has said before that you should say that (what he said) when people complain about seeing hateful things towards a group (eg racism, homophobia, etc).
He then responded that I was only calling him antisemitic because he was arab. The thing is, I never called him antisemitic and I myself am also arab. (Yes I know, most people have never met an arab jew but we do exist).
I pointed out that I never called him antisemitic and I am also arab which he seems to have forgotten. I said that his response was still weird considering what he has said in the past about people who say what he said. I then invited him to dm me privately to discuss things further if he wants to as it's not fair to do this in front of all of our friends.
He did not respond and ended up blocking me on discord.
This irked me quite a bit but in the end I decided that him blocking me was for the better if he stands by his original response. I was talking to my partner about it who is not Jewish and he said that my ex friend's response was definitely weird and the fact that he was so quick to defend himself about being called an antisemite without even being called it was indicative that he probably is. I decided to look at my ex friends tumblr to see if there was anything to suggest that and there was. I saw a few posts which he has recently reblogged which used anti Semitic dog whistles like the echo, example: (((insert text you which doesnt say jew but you are implying jewish people are))).
I was quite appalled to see that and am debating if I should send it to his university. The university he attends has spoken out about antisemitism before and has kicked out people in the past for using racist dog whistles due to a potential danger to POC students so it is likely that he would get kicked out for using antisemitic dog whistles.
In my mind, he fucked around and therefore should find out aka face natural consequences for his actions.
WIBTA if I contacted his University about his antisemitism?
What are these acronyms?
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lumi-nescentt · 1 year ago
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Rumor Has It
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Part 4 - A Single Thread Of Gold Tied Me To You
Pairing: Jenson Button x Reader / Mark Webber x Reader
Warnings: Mark, yes that's a warning in itself in this
Words: 4.8k
Summary: Now that you and Mark are done, you're free to explore whatever's between you and Jenson. It's not as easy as you thought between expectation and ghosts of your past actions still lingering around.
A/N: Shoutout to my ex who actually said to me some of the stuff Mark said in this chapter. At least they gave me writing material on top of self-worth issues so it's not all bad :) Also thank you to the person who asked for a part 4 and sorry it took so long, hope you like it <3
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3
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Leaving Mark had been hard. You had grown into the woman you were now alongside the Australian and despite how bad things had turned out, the two of you still had history. It had never crossed your mind that what you had with Mark could one day become a bother because you had once thought you’d stay together for a very long time. 
Since your break up, and especially since it had been made public, everyone seemed to think they were entitled to have their opinion on your past relationship and to make it known to you. You couldn’t lie and say it was easy for you because despite not knowing much about what happened, almost everyone was siding with Mark and that hurt. 
The world of motorsports was already harsh enough on women but after this whole breakup, you felt it more than ever. Thankfully, you loved your job enough to push through all the comments about how you ruined the only good thing in your life. Jenson had been a huge support mentally and even physically when he could get away from his responsibilities as a driver.
Not wanting to make the same mistake you made with Mark, you had decided to try and explore what you felt for the Brit in private and Jenson didn’t mind in the slightest. You kept to yourself in the paddock but as soon as it was just the two of you in the comfort of the hotel, he was by your side for as long as you wanted him to. 
Jenson knew you were still hurting a little and the last thing he wanted was to make you rush into a relationship you were not ready for yet so for months, all he did was be there as a friend when you needed him. He never tried anything again and the kiss you shared the night you broke up with Mark was the only action either of you had for a long while.
As much as you appreciated the thought, having him this close and yet this far was starting to be a torture and you were growing restless. The kiss was haunting you, that was the only way to put it. Since every hotel room you stayed in looked pretty much the same, you couldn’t escape the memory even if you tried. 
A part of you was almost starting to believe you imagined it and that same part of you sounded strangely similar to Mark. It was there in the back of your mind, telling you Jenson didn’t like you despite every sign and every action saying otherwise. Maybe if the breakup had been more recent, you’d have listened to it more but lately you could hear yourself think clearly again. 
It was a relief, feeling at peace with who you were, after years of not feeling enough for your boyfriend and for yourself. You were growing more comfortable and people seemed to notice how their comments started to roll off your back because they were getting fewer and fewer as time passed. You were walking in the paddock with your chin up high, smiling at the people you once knew and the one you still talked to, life was getting better. 
You felt ready to put your time with Mark behind you for good and look towards the future, most importantly towards Jenson. Now you just had to show the Brit it was okay to make a move, that you wanted him back, entirely. Luckily for you, the Monaco GP was coming up and that gave you the perfect excuse to spend some alone time with the Brit.
After arranging it with the man himself, you were calling work to tell them you wouldn’t be needing a hotel room in Monte-Carlo anymore. Jenson seemed to want to spend time with you too because he asked you to come at the beginning of the week instead of on Thursday morning like you usually did. 
As soon as the plane landed, you were rushing out of the plane and then out of the airport, into the taxi until you were finally in front of Jenson’s door with flushed cheeks and a bright smile. The Brit opened the door and before he had time to process what was happening, you had thrown your arms around him, hugging him tightly.
-“ Well, hello love ! Missed me much ?” Jenson said before his laugh echoed through the hallway, making his whole chest shake
-“ I actually did but sorry for jumping on you like that.” you stepped away from the hug, straightening your clothes
-“ No need to apologise, you know ?”
-“ Oh, sorry.” 
-“ y/n…” Jenson sighed with a smile
-“Sor–” 
-“ Don’t even finish that sentence, I’m not kidding.” Jenson threatened, covering your mouth with his hand
-“ I won’t, or maybe I will, who knows ?” you teased before slipping past him and getting inside as Jenson followed you with a grin
The first few hours were spent in this cheerful mood, the both of you teasing each other and laughing until you couldn’t breathe anymore. Despite the pretty chill ambiance, you felt like Jenson was almost walking on eggshells around you. Whenever you were physically close, you could feel his whole body grow tense and the grown man next to you suddenly seemed to forget what to do with his own hands.  
It was a little cute at first, it wasn’t very often that you could see the Brit all flustered. Jenson was usually so confident, the whole thing was endearing. However, that didn’t change the fact that you wanted something to happen but with how stressed he looked, you weren’t sure if it was the right time and you were growing a little frustrated. The whole idea behind this trip had been to make a move or to get him to make one and it didn’t seem to be happening on its own so you thought taking the matter into your own hands was the right thing to do. 
After dinner, you asked Jenson if you could drive to the top of Monaco to see the sunset. The Brit immediately agreed and the two of you jumped into the car quickly, hoping you wouldn’t miss it. The drive was pretty quiet, Jenson was doing his best to get there on time and you were just looking at the scenery, taking in the view. 
You were still doing that when Jenson parked the car. Not wanting to disrupt you, he stayed silent and decided to look at you instead, taking advantage of the fact your attention was elsewhere. You soon realised that it was dead silent and turned around to look at the Brit, only to be met by his eyes already on you. 
-“ You know the sunset is that way, right ?” you joked, pointing at the sun disappearing behind the horizon
-“ I know.” 
-“ Why are you looking that way, then ?” 
-“ I don’t know, the view’s pretty this way too.” he just shrugged, suddenly looking very interested by the sunset
-“ The view or me ?” 
-“ Both. You.” he paused “Mostly you.” Jenson confessed, still looking away
-“ Look at me, Jenson.”
-“ Why ?”
-“ Just do, please.” you asked again, turning around on your seat to face him completely
-“ I’m looking at you now.” 
-“ I’m gonna ask you a question and I need you to answer honestly, okay ?” 
-“ Sounds serious. I’m not in trouble, am I ?”
-“ You’re not, I promise.” 
-“ Okay, go on then. Ask away.” Jenson smiled timidly
-“ Do you still like me ?” 
-“ What ?” 
-“ Do you still fancy me ? Like me as more than a friend ?” 
-“ Yeah of course, why are you asking that ?” 
-“ Just making sure we’re on the same page.” Jenson looked at you with a confused expression, “ I like you, Jense.” 
-“ Are you sure ?” 
-“ What do you mean, am I sure ? Of course I am, I wouldn’t be telling you this if I wasn’t.” 
-“ So this is not because you feel pressured because you know about my feelings ?” Jenson asked, making sure he was understanding what you were saying correctly
-“ No it’s not. I like you because you’re caring, funny, you’re a great friend who’s always here for me when no one else is and not to mention how devilishly handsome and charming you are. That’s why I like you, among other things of course.”
-“ You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear you say this, y/n.” 
-“ Maybe you could show me how happy you are then ?” you suggested with a raise of your eyebrows
-“ I mean I could tell you how much I like you but I thought you already kne–”
-“ Jenson ?” you interrupted him, cupping his face with your hands “ Just kiss me please.” 
The Brit finally stopped rambling and pressed his lips against yours. If you had found the first kiss already perfect, this one somehow topped it. Maybe it was the fact that you were finally free to love him or maybe the memory of how good it actually had been had faded but this was definitely the best kiss you had ever shared. 
The sunset was long forgotten as you kept kissing, smiling against his lips when Jenson’s hand came to rest on your neck, pressing you even more against him. It seemed like he had been a little too enthusiastic as your elbow that had been on the centre console slipped and you almost fell on him. Forced to separate from each other, you only looked at him with a happy smile before snickering at the situation. 
The ride back to his place felt lighter and from the corner of your eyes, you could see that Jenson was smiling giddily, tapping his finger happily on the wheel to the beat of the soft music playing. You looked pretty much the same, a dazed smile plastered on your face as you kept remembering every second of the kiss. 
Stuck in your own pleasant thoughts, you didn’t realise Jenson had parked the car until he was opening your door, offering you his hand to help you stand up. It was a sweet gesture and as much as you didn’t want to compare the two, you couldn’t help but note that Mark had never done that in the years you’d been dating. 
As quick as the Australian had came into your mind, he left and you focused back on the man in front of you. Since he had helped you out of the car, Jenson hadn’t let go of your hand, intertwining your fingers and rubbing his thumb on the back of your hand for the whole elevator ride. If he got to decide, Jenson wouldn’t have let go of it again but when he saw you yawn softly, trying to hide it, he ushered you to the bathroom to get ready for bed. 
When you came out, Jenson was standing against the opposite wall, smiling when he saw you. Without a word, you followed the Brit to what you assumed was going to be the bedroom. You knew you were right when he opened the door and a huge bed came into your view. The room was beautiful and comfy, that was undeniable but you couldn’t help but think it lacked some life. It didn’t look as if someone slept there most of their nights at all. Blaming it on the fact that Jenson was away a lot, you shrugged it off before turning to face the Brit who had just cleared his throat. 
-“ Well… What do you think ?” 
-“ It’s very nice in here, it seems cosy.” you said, sitting on the bed
-“ I’m glad you like it. Do you need anything else ?” 
-“ Nope. Just you.” you smiled coyly as the Brit’s cheeks went red
-“ Alright, I think that’s my cue then.” Jenson laughed before taking a few steps towards the door
-“ Wait ! You’re not staying ?”
-“ I thought you were joking about that.” 
-“ And I thought that was your room.” you explained, just as confused
-“ Oh no, that’s the guest bedroom. Mine is the door right across.” Jenson pointed at the door behind him that was slightly ajar
-“ Do you mind if I–?” 
-“ Not at all, go on.” he scoffed, getting out of the doorway as you stood up and made your way to his bedroom “Please do honestly. I wouldn’t have dared to ask.” 
Surely enough, when you entered this bedroom it looked way more like what you expected Jenson’s bedroom to look like. The room was pretty neat apart from a pair of jeans and a polo on the back of an armchair and a blanket hastily thrown over the duvet. 
You took the time to walk around the room, letting your fingers run across the furniture as you did. You stopped in front of the small desk next to the balcony door, smiling when you saw that most of the space was taken by picture frames. Crouching so you could see better, you noticed a few pictures of his parents, his sisters and what you could only assume were his nieces and nephews, smiling when you saw Jenson holding a tiny baby in the crook of his arm with the biggest grin. 
-“ That’s my sister’s daughter. Her name’s Lea.” Jenson’s voice interrupted your contemplation, his fingers tracing over the baby’s frame
-“ She’s adorable.”
-“ I know right ? She’s the only kid that didn’t start crying the moment her mom put her in my arms, she’s a sweetheart.” he laughed, remembering the fear that had filled him when the first baby cried in his arms
-“ Well, I think Lea has great taste.” you smiled, turning around so you could face him and placing a soft kiss on his lips before going back to looking at the frames, picking the last one
-“ What’s this picture ?” 
-“ You don’t remember ?” you shook your head, still trying to figure out where it came from “ It was the night the 2009 season ended, you know when we went out and I kissed you ?” 
-“ Yeah, I remember that but I have no memory of that picture being taken.” you admitted again 
-“ You were dancing with Hanna when Fernando and I bumped into you. I was apparently very happy to see you again since I lifted you in my arms the moment I saw you. And you seemed to like that because I had never seen you smile as big as in the picture with you in my arms.” 
-“ It’s a really beautiful picture, do you have another copy that I could take home ?” 
-“ I don’t but I’ll just find the original picture Hanna sent me and we can go print it.” 
-“ Hanna sent it to you ?” 
-“ Yes, she’s the one that took it.” 
-“ She never told me or said anything about it.”
-“ Maybe she just assumed there was no need to since you chose Mark.”
-“ Oh, you’re probably right.” you sighed, looking at your feet
-“ Darling, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I mentioned him, it was stupid of me. Please forget what I just said.” Jenson immediately apologised when he saw your shoulders drop slightly 
-“ It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” 
-“ y/n, look at me please.” 
Slowly, you turned around to face him, still looking at your shoes. Jenson was having none of it and after carefully placing his fingers under your chin, he raised your head until your eyes met his. 
-“ I’m not blaming you for choosing Mark. I don’t care about him. All I care about is that you’re here with me and you’re no longer miserable because of that sod.” 
-“ You promise ?” 
-“ I promise you.” Jenson nodded, before kissing your forehead and pulling you into a hug
When he felt you yawn against his chest, Jenson said that it was definitely time to go to bed and let you settle in his bed before joining you. The two of you lasted 5 seconds on opposite sides of the bed before you turned around to face him and snuggled your face against his chest as his arm rested over your waist, keeping you close. It was a nice feeling. Unlike kissing him which made your heart race at insane speeds, sleeping next to him was soothing and you found yourself quickly drifting off to sleep with a relaxed smile. 
As much as you had enjoyed the parenthesis of living in your own bubble in Jenson’s apartment, you couldn’t stay there forever and you had to eventually go back to work. Working in Formula 1 never felt like a chore, even when you were knackered, you still loved the ambiance of the buzzing paddock and it was even more true when it came to Monaco. 
In your years travelling across the globe, you could attest that there was truly no place on earth to match the vibes of the principality, especially during the Grand Prix. These streets were made for racing, a beating heart of the sport that made everyone, fan or not, hold their breath in anticipation when the cars came bursting out of the tunnel and into the chicane. 
Even when the cars weren’t racing, the whole city was vibrating with energy as luxurious cars and even more luxurious guests paraded around. It should have been easy to get lost in all the frivolity and superficial things around but trapped between the mountains and the sea, Monaco stayed beautiful to those who knew where to go when the glitz and the glam became too much. 
You and Jenson had always been one of those people who knew how to balance the high end life of Monaco and the simpler things to enjoy which made it a very dear place in your heart. This weekend when you entered the paddock, it all felt lighter and your colleagues could tell from your relaxed face and the content smile you were proudly showing. 
You hadn’t been able to come at the same time as Jenson but he had promised to meet up for lunch so instead of looking at your watch every five minutes, hoping to make time pass faster, you decided to really focus on your work which you knew would make lunch come sooner. It was actually the first time in a while where you felt like yourself again at work and the drivers could tell too apparently. Some of them politely said you seemed in a good mood when others you knew better like Daniel were even happier to see you beaming and hugged you. 
Chatting with the smiley Australian had taken up the rest of your time before your break so you started heading towards the meeting point you and Jenson had previously agreed on. You got your phone out of your bag to text him and tell him you were on your way when you bumped into someone, immediately apologising for not looking at where you were going. 
-“ It’s okay, I should have paid attention to the people around me too.” the person you had hit said, the distinctive voice making your head snap up to look at him
-“ Mark. What are you doing here ?” 
-“ I’m here with Channel 4, they had an open spot as a commentator so I thought I’d give it a go.” 
-“ Oh, okay. That’s nice.” you said with a tight smile, looking around for an excuse to leave without seeming rude 
-“ I know I’m probably the last person you want to see these days but I was wondering if we could talk ?” 
-“ I’m in a bit of a rush, actually.” you tried, taking a step to the side already
-“ Please y/n. It’ll take a minute and then I’ll get out of your hair if you want me to.” he pleaded, using the voice he knew you couldn’t resist to when you had been together
-“ Fine but make it quick.” you sighed, crossing your arms 
-“ I know I wasn’t really nice to you the last time we talked–” you rolled your eyes at the understatement making him blush in embarrassment “I was a real arse and you didn’t deserve it.”
-“ I know that, Mark. If all you wanted to tell me is stuff I’m already aware of, I think I’m going to go.” 
-“ I’m not done, hold on.” he answered quickly, trying to grab your waist in an attempt to make you stay before you jerked your arm away from him
-“ Don’t touch me.” you almost snarled, feeling anger rise slowly 
-“ This isn’t how I saw this conversation going.” he muttered, scratching his beard
-“ Well what did you expect, Mark ? I’m not going to welcome you with open arms and pretend like it’s totally fine between us because that’s simply not the case.”
-“ I don’t know, I just thought you’d be nicer honestly.” 
-“ Excuse me ?” 
-“ That sounded wrong, forget what I just said.” 
-“ No ! You don’t get to say messed up stuff and then tell me to forget it. I don’t owe you anything so if you think I’m going to be all nice to you because we’re in public, think again.” 
-“ I just came here to talk about us, I didn’t want to argue. I promise.” the Australian tried to justify himself
-“ Mark. There’s no us. It’s been months since we broke up and if I’m completely honest, there was no us from the moment you shoved your tongue down someone else’s throat while we were together.” you spat, not realising how loud the two of you were now talking, attracting the attention of everyone around.
Jenson, who had been walking to meet you, had just come into earshot of your conversation and upon hearing the way your voice was getting more high-pitched and irritated by the second, he pushed through the crowd and came to stand by your side in an instant. Not even looking at who you were talking to, Jenson put himself in the middle, looking at you carefully.
-“ Is everything okay, love ?” 
-“ It’s okay Jense, I’m handling this. I’ll be with you in a second.” you smiled before looking at the Australian standing behind
Getting out of the way, Jenson finally got to look at the person you had been talking to and he felt his body grow rigid when he was met with the face of his old friend who looked just as spooked by the sighting. 
-“ Why is he always here ?” Mark asked, visibly annoyed
-“ Because I actually want him to be there and he doesn’t act like my presence irritates him.” 
-“ I’m sure that time will come.” he mumbled under his breath, hoping you hadn’t heard
-“ You know what ? This is just a waste of my time. I don’t need to hear the words of a pathetic cheater. I don’t care what you wanted to say to ease your conscience, Mark, so you can take your apology and shove it up your arse.” you roared, wrapping Jenson’s hand in yours before storming away, leaving the Australian dumbfounded in the middle of a crowd who was now giving him dirty looks
You didn’t stop walking until you saw an empty lunch table and dragged Jenson to sit next to you on the bench, letting your head fall on his shoulder with a long sigh. Your hand was still holding Jenson’s and you felt his thumb trace soothing shapes on the back of it not daring to break the silence just yet. After a few moments without moving or saying a thing, you felt the Brit moving, turning to look at you. 
-“ How are you feeling ?” 
-“ I don’t know. I feel angry at him but also relieved because I don’t think he’ll try to talk to me again.” 
-“ He’d be even stupider than I thought if he tried. You looked pretty convincing out there and he definitely deserved what he got.” 
-“ Are you sure ? I didn’t want to cause a scene but he made me so enraged I just snapped.” 
-“ He got what was coming for him so don’t feel bad. It was totally justified.” 
-“ I don’t know. I don’t like to be mean…” you sighed, putting your head in your hands for a second
-“ You’re not a mean person, love. If you had to get mad for him to understand, it’s his fault not yours.” 
-“ Thanks, handsome.” you smiled, trying to make the conversation lighter, jokingly bumping your shoulder with his
-“ Well that’s new…” he smirked, his cheeks a subtle shade of pink
-“ What, you don’t like it ?” you teased
-“ I love it actually but it’s making me want to do things that I don’t know you’re comfortable with.” 
-“ Ooh, cheeky.” you laughed freely
-“ Not that, you pervert ! I meant kissing you.” the Brit blushed even harder
-“ Oh well I mean I’d be okay with that. If you’re okay with it too, of course.”
-“ Really ? I don’t want to put you in trouble or to have people criticise you or anything.” 
-“ It’s pretty strange but if I really think about it, I don’t really care about that. Like I’d rather be able to kiss you and be happy than worry about what people will think and not do something I want.” 
-“ You’re amazing, you know that ?” 
-“ Had to get at your level, handsome. Now please, can I kiss you ?” 
-“ If I ever say no to that, please take me to the doctor.” Jenson grinned before brushing your cheek with his hand and pressing his lips against yours 
You smiled against his lips, biting his bottom lip teasingly before pulling away and acting normally, asking him about what he wanted to eat as he gazed at you mesmerised. You were both so lost in each other that you didn’t pay attention to anything around you. Not to the German driver who was coming your way with a smirk or to the tall Australian staring daggers at you from across the paddock.
If ignoring Mark was easy, ignoring Seb wasn’t. As soon as he had seen the two of you kissing, he had changed his path and planted himself in front of you with a knowing grin. 
-“ Well, well, well… What do we have here ?” he teased 
-“ You see Seb, when two people really like each other sometimes they want to press their lips together to show how much they appreciate the other one.” Jenson started
-“ Thank for that very helpful insight mate. I actually have a girlfriend so trust me I know.” he winked at you, making you roll your eyes with a smile
-“ Who says we’re not dating ?” you asked the German as Jenson looked at you, mouth agape
-“ Jenson’s face when you just asked me that.” 
-“ Fair enough.” you admitted, looking at the Brit before lacing your fingers together
-“ More seriously, it’s nice to see the two of you happy. You deserve it.” 
-“ Thank you, Seb.” Jenson smiled as you thanked his friend
Sebastian would have loved to stay chatting but just like you were on a lunch date with the Brit, he was actually on his way to meet up with Hanna so he quickly left you alone, not before promising to get together later to “know all about your blossoming relationship” according to him. 
The conversation with the German driver wasn’t the last one you had about your new relationship with Jenson over the course of the weekend. Everyone you knew in the paddock seemed to have seen or heard about your altercation with Mark or the kiss you had shared later on. Maybe the woman you were when you were dating Mark would have minded that people seemed so interested in your relationship but you find that it didn’t bother you at all. 
Even though you wanted to keep your personal life mostly private, you were more than happy to say that Jenson was a real gentleman who made you feel on top of the world and if the word “love” came into your mind when you were telling all these people about him, that was something you’d deal with later.
Maybe you’d tell Jenson later on that day when you got back to his place and settled in his bed, wrapped up in his arms. Or maybe you’d blurt it out the next morning over a shared breakfast overlooking the marina, the sun hitting his face perfectly as he laughed at something you said. Perhaps, you’d tell him on your next date after extending your stay in Monaco until you had to leave for the next race alongside Jenson. 
No matter the scenario, there was no doubt in your heart that Jenson’s reaction would be genuine and if the way he looked at you was any indication, you were pretty convinced the feeling was mutual. After all, would he have waited 6 years for you if he wasn’t smitten in love with the pretty journalist that had caught his heart in a single interaction all those years ago ? Probably not… The most important thing was that you were no longer scared of what the future held because you knew that one way or another, Jenson would be by your side and that was enough to reassure you.
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majaloveschris · 5 months ago
Note
it’s interesting, back when all this hoopla began, some blogs were convinced this was all genuine because of two reasons: 1) CE didn’t need to do PR to get more attention because he was already famous. 2) the attention was negative and did not help him and why would he go through all this for negative publicity?
While I agree to an extent that the attention with this relationship brought a lot of negativity to him and his family/friends (and obviously, hers too) - I maintain the belief that it wasn’t about the who he married, it’s about him having a partner and settling down and being married. To lots of people, this shows stability and being able to commit. It finally aligns with his “wants to settle and have a family” narrative. The GP will look at recent posts or movies of his and go oh yeah he got married (if they even bothered to remember that) and move on with their lives. His fans are the only ones currently bothered by all this because they hate the partner he’s with. But to me, they achieved their goal and now no matter what happens, at least he was married once and he’s seen with a ring - check and mate.
I kindly remind people that this is Hollywood. Public image and persona still is extremely important, and celebs always do things for reasons and most often, there is a bigger picture to unveil later on.
That being said, look at Taylor and Travis. She definitely is famous enough and imho, she did not need the publicity of a more public relationship. Some people said she quickly pivoted to Travis after her last guy Matt something was revealed to be problematic (I forgot why) and her PR team was quick to pull her out.
I don’t know if I agree with that. If it was as simple as erasing the controversy of a bad partner, she could be seen with Travis but not to the extent she has been. They got the NFL - aka one of the biggest money empires in the American sports and entertainment industry - involved. If you are not an American you may not understand how big NFL football and the Super Bowl is here in the states. But the levels they went to make Taylor and Travis a thing is interesting,
That’s why I think Chris very much needed the PR. I think it’s the woman choice that caused this ordeal to fall apart at the seams. Because I imagine a different situation:
Let’s say, he got paired with someone like an Ana de Armas or even Dakota Johnson (if either were single) - look at how the public reacted to Dakota and Chris at Central Park. Look at how the fans reacted.
It was mostly positive and people were surprised, including his own fans. Surprised that he looks good with her and physically they fit better together. Now the idea of them playing love interests isn’t so dire as people once thought.
The perception here is totally different. If he did scare videos with someone like Ana, did an IG montage, I don’t think the reaction would have been negative at all.
Him posting a pumpkin pic, or him doing restaurant tours with a different more favorable woman would have been completely different. If he showed up to VF after party with any of his ex gfs - and took a pic in the same red suit - I still think the reaction would have been less negative from his fans.
It could still be cringe to some but I highly doubt it would be at this level of animosity.
if the partner was different, I think you’d be seeing a much different result for both of them today. His partner, if she was also an up and coming actress but received better by his fans and the GP, could have seen herself get further in her career simply due to followers and visibility. If she was a different person with a different attitude towards work and promotion, she may be reaping more benefits today.
I think you have similar thoughts to me, maja, that this situation was unfortunately a failure due to the choice of pairing. If AB had gotten a different man, maybe even if she had stayed with Lucas B, you may be seeing a different result for her too. Her/his fanbases didn’t seem to hate them together as much, and also they did look pretty good together considering.
I wonder, would we still be seeing her post a ridiculous homemade shower video to distract from her friends problematic tweets? Would we still be seeing her pretend she’s never online and hiding away for months at a time? Would we still see her try so desperately to prove a point if she had simply ended up with someone else?
Yeah, I definitely see what you are saying. I don't think she was the first choice, in my opinion, especially because of the age gap. He's always been dating women who are close to his age, so choosing her for this whole "marriage" thing is interesting. Maybe choosing a younger partner was on purpose, and they were looking for someone who isn't that close to his age to attract a new demographic. I mean, a lot of younger women now think they might've a chance with him and thirst even harder, so who knows? I think people outside of the fandom only have problems with the age gap part, but unfortunately people are used to this, especially in HW, and 24 and 40 isn't even that bad, considering people like Leo (who is older) notoriously date younger women, and for him this is the first time. That we know of, of course. 
As you and I said, they should've chosen someone else, someone who hasn't done, said, or posted questionable things. The same goes for her friends. The most problematic part is her and her friends' personalities. I think most people would've moved on from the age gap thing; after all, they both are adults, even if 24 is a bit young for 40 in my opinion. And maybe if they were truly looking happy or in love, that could've made everything a bit better too. However, the fact they both look as if they don't want to be around each other helped at least him a lot. But they look relativly cute together with Lucas; it seemed like at least they liked each other. 
At the same time, I still think he and his team didn't know about the tweets, because I truly believe if they did, they wouldn't choose her.
I think his team failed this test, and this was a huge lesson for him too. 
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unmanageable-day · 5 months ago
Text
Time with you
inspo : Kyuhyun - Time with you
pairing: best friend!Scoups x female reader
genre: angsty almost friends to lovers, unrequited love aka friendzoned :(
word count: 2k-ish
warning(s): drinking alcohol (and maybe none other than that)
a/n: not really grammatically checked. i’m just emptying my drafts lmao this has been in my draft for a very long time. would greatly appreciate your feedback and thoughts! :-) also, the gif credit to the rightful owner (@ scoupsy)
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It was another night when you and your best friend, Choi Seungcheol drank your lives away while going through the so-called quarter-life crisis. You with the story of ‘almost’ for the nth time. Almost getting promotion in your job, almost dating with guy A, almost being match-made with guy B, almost picking up a fight with a coworker (which means almost losing your job), and the most recent ‘almost’ was you almost getting back together with an ex who you didn’t like that much. Seungcheol and his much higher alcohol tolerance had drank more bottles than you. He just broke up after five years of relationship, and he couldn’t even cry his eyes out. Not to mention, he just lost a sponsorship for his new project. Isn’t it a perfect night for these best friends to abuse their livers?
“I say let’s just get married if by 30 years old we don’t have a significant other,” he said, his eyes were looking anywhere but you.
You chuckled. “You’re drunk, honey.” He didn’t sound serious or sincere to you, at least now after he sipped three shots in a row.
Both of you were turning 26. Old enough to get married, some people would say. You never gave it a deep thought, especially since most of your friends hadn’t gotten married either. They were either too enjoying their lives, too busy with their jobs, not wanting to be in a committed relationship yet, or they just want to go solo. Let’s be honest, having that one person to spend with for the rest of your life doesn’t always mean a happily ever after ending. On the other hand, you know being married and raising a small family with children is one of Choi Seungcheol’s dreams. You would absolutely be happy for him if it came true any sooner.
He chuckled while pouring beer and soju mix. “I know, but I think I’m sober enough to discuss this thing. What do you say?”
“Even if I agree and say yes right now, you will probably not remember anything tomorrow.”
“Hey, I said I’m sober enough,“ he scoffed as he raised his glass. “Y/N let me tell you, I might look unserious like this, but you have no idea I have tons of husband material.”
“Well, okay I guess, if you want to be my husband that much..” you shrugged, still laughing lightly at the nonsense you two were having that night. And finally Seungcheol knocked himself out that you had to call Jeonghan and Mingyu to pick him up.
The next day, Seungcheol insisted he did remember almost everything he said last night. You still didn’t think of it seriously, so you just responded with a quick ‘yeah’, ‘right’, and ‘okay’. Meanwhile he wanted to have proper documentation about your “agreement”. As you thought it was ridiculous, you just gave him a pinky swear and you excused yourself to go to a company dinner.
---
27th birthday
There was nothing special. Both you and your dear friend were single, and in fact, enjoyed going solo. Your circle of friends tried again to make you go to blind dates. You did, just for a little appreciation to your friends, although you knew it’s just not going to happen. Same thing with Seungcheol’s friend who always offered him to introduce some juniors from their college or school. This time, Seungcheol always refused. Not ready to build rapport and start a new relationship would be his number one excuse, which would always be understood by others.
28th birthday
Your friends started to cheer that you and Seungcheol should end your friendship and begin a real romantic relationship because you two were always seen together.
“Are you nuts?” You chuckled and pretended to give a disgusted expression to him.
“Don’t come to me when it’s apocalypse and I’m the only man left,” he hissed.
29th birthday --- Seungcheol’s POV
Lately I had been feeling anxious and I can’t comprehend what was wrong. But isn’t it normal for people to be anxious when they’re about to end their 20s? Or is it just me who had been denial about this real, like real, adulting phase?
Without realizing it, I often found myself imagining what the future would be like if it is with you; what would it be like to spend the rest of my life with you. I remember the times we walked together. Well, many times. But when did you become such a precious person to me?
The picture of us being together for a lifetime was getting clearer. Somehow I became so sure about it. That’s when I know, I want to live as your significant other. I want to live with you who never stop nagging but I won’t complain. Even when you’re a worse picky-eater than me, more suck at doing house chores and cooking, disorganized, and sometimes talk in your sleep, but I think I can live with that.
I had never so anxious and thrilled at the same time on my birthday in the past 3 years. I didn’t know why I had to wait until it was our 30th birthday.
A few days to 30th birthday
Seungcheol had been walking around back and forth in his studio for minutes. Once in a while, he looked at the calendar and a ring with flower diamond accent sitting on a personalized leather ring box he put on his desk. He just turned 30 last month and Jeonghan, without being asked, held a birthday party for him. This month you would be turning 30 and he already marked it in his calendar with a lot of drawing.
It was counting days until your birthday. As far as he could remember, not even once you or anybody else had said a word about you seeing someone. He was certain of it. This is it.
He quickly went through a list of restaurants to make a reservation on that Friday night. Let’s not go overboard, he thought to himself as he passed some fine dining restaurants from the list. His final choice was a new sushi restaurant. Okay, it’s not anything fancy, he reassured himself. He didn’t want to make it obvious although he couldn’t hide his excitement and his racing heart.
Just as the sun had set, Seungcheol dialed your number. Unusually, you picked up in less than five seconds.
“Y/n, hi! I’ve got something to tell you!”
“Me too!”
“Great! Let’s meet up?”
After hanging up the phone call, with his dreamy eyes, Seungcheol stared at the ring he chose carefully. Right, I’m gonna do it today! In front of a big mirror, he spent a good amount of time just to pick an outfit that he usually wears.
He arrived first at the restaurant and took his time to practice breathing slowly. As soon as he received your text that you were coming soon, he became restless. The lines he had been practicing in his head now started to blur. Please don't ruin it, he begged to himself.
“Hey. You sound very excited on the phone. Did something good happen?” Trying to manage his cool, he welcomed you and poured a glass of water.
Smiling ear to ear, you nodded vigorously. Seungcheol softly smiled looking at you.
Without words, you lifted your hand, exposing the back of your hand, all your fingers lightly wriggling. For a second, Seungcheol didn’t notice what you were trying to say. Until he remembered that you didn’t like to wear accessories and jewelry with too much accents standing out, including a diamond or even gemstone with bright colors. Yet a silver ring with a cat’s eye gemstone now was stuck prettily around your left ring finger.
Seungcheol forced an innocent smile at you. He shook his head a few times, pretending not to understand anything. Deep down inside, he wished it was not what he was thinking. He wished it was just another piece of jewelry you bought for yourself.
“I’m getting married! Jisoo proposed to me last night!” you squealed as quietly as possible.
“Jisoo.. which Jisoo?” he asked weakly after clearing his throat several times.
“It’s Hong Jisoo! You didn't forget him already, did you?” Your eyes widened and blinked twice. “It’s Jeonghan’s friend. He even came to your birthday party. You even hung out together, the three of you.”
He groggily faked a laugh. “Oh, we did?” He stole a glance at you who were staring lovingly at the new ring. “... am I too late?” he whispered to himself, his hand clenching the suede box hidden in his pocket.
“Hm? What is it that’s too late?” you asked, completely oblivious.
A fake cough slipped out of his mouth. He wore his famous sulky expression. “No, I mean... isn’t it too late that you just told me now? You should have called me last night.” Seungcheol knew sulking was one of his famous traits. And this time, it helped so much to hide his true feelings.
“Wait. But… how did you… since when did you and he…” Seungcheol found himself unable to finish his sentence. It’s not like he really wanted to know or anything. He was too dumbfounded to figure out that after all this time, it was only him who had been thinking about the future of you both. Apparently it was just a one-sided excitement that only he felt.
“Sorry,” you muttered slowly. “You must have thought that this doesn’t make any sense.” You tried to read his expression. Seeing him gulping his water, you did the same before telling your story.
You carefully told him that it started last year, specifically on the new years’ eve when Jeonghan held a party in his house. Seungcheol was there too. What he didn’t know was that you and Jisoo spent some time together after losing a game, which led to going to a convenience mart just to buy candies because Jeonghan suddenly wanted it. You found him very easy going despite his serious and quiet look. Not to mention when he lost it in games with Jeonghan, he became somebody else–and you liked it. He didn’t seem pretentious. He was even never trying hard to look good despite he had that gentleman image. It was interesting to see such different personalities in one person.
You didn’t want to think about him seriously as a romantic relationship was not your priority that time. Jisoo probably thought alike, since he never really made a bold move. Yet you two would always find time, or rather time (and Jeonghan) was in favor of getting you together. Nonetheless, both of you still never declared anything. It started like a situationship, you would say.
Until one day, he wanted to make sure that you both shared the same feelings. Since then, Jisoo and you started to discuss your plan for the future. But again, your relationship hadn’t gone public.
“We didn’t tell anyone until we were sure of ourselves and our plans,” you concluded. “I’m really sorry, Seungcheol. I never meant to keep a secret from you, especially when it comes to something big like this.”
Another forced smile was curved on Seungcheol’s lips. “It’s okay. I understand,” he said, trying as hard as he could so his voice wasn’t trembling. “I’m happy for you, Y/n.”
You wore a big smile and looked relieved. “Thank you. Sincerely, Seungcheol, thank you.”
He flashed a smile before pretending to be busy looking at the menu. “Since today is a happy day, we should celebrate it,” he cheered.
“You’re right. It’s on me.”
In the end, he let you choose all the dishes from appetizer until desserts. It was difficult for him to stay focused. The ring in his pocket felt as heavy as his heart, but he knew he shouldn’t show it to you. He didn’t want to ruin the precious friendship you’d had for only God knows. He didn’t want to be remembered as someone petty who couldn’t support his best friend’s choice. He didn’t want you to hate him, and possibly leave him if he started to act out crazy.
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