#i can't remember who but whoever you are
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zishuge · 1 year ago
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Today I gave myself feels thinking about Fang Duobing, Di Feisheng, and Hulijing moving on and aging in a world without Li Lianhua. A world where Li Lianhua isn't there — but then again, he is there, in Lianhualou, and in the townspeople who flock to it, bearing gifts for the miracle doctor who once saved a life, fixed a roof, exposed a conman, comforted a child. Young Fang Duobing used to want to know every little detail about his hero, Li Xiangyi. Now Fang Duobing wants to know every detail about his beloved friend, Li Lianhua. The years pass and fewer people come. But if they remember him, Li Lianhua lives on.
(long post, half meta, half fic, bittersweet)
They travel together, with Hulijing, in Lianhualou. Fang Duobing has nothing better to do, so he takes up detective work again. Di Feisheng has nothing better to do, so he comes along. Everywhere they go, they look for Li Lianhua. And in their journeys, it seems like everywhere they go, someone is talking about Li Xiangyi. Li Xiangyi, who had always been something of a legend, but ever since his reappearance and subsequent (re)disappearance, has seemingly been elevated into something approaching godhood.
you should've seen him, people say, floating across the rooftops in red, cold and beautiful, like an avenging hero out of some novel. wasn't he dead? no — of course he wasn't, li xiangyi would never have been so easily killed. but it was bicha poison, i heard nobody could survive bicha poison. yes, he was definitely dead, and came back to life through dark magic. no, he'd been alive the whole time, just held captive by di feisheng. he tried to kill his shixiong ten years ago and failed, and came back to finish the job. no, his shixiong tried to kill the emperor and li xiangyi came to stop him. the emperor? impossible. yes — don't you know, li xiangyi is the emperor's long-lost son?
All of it only amuses Di Feisheng, but it irks Fang Duobing. The same Fang Duobing, who, when he was younger, would've hungered for every little detail about Li Xiangyi and begged to hear more, now finds it maddening to listen to these strangers talk about him as if they knew him. The world might have known Li Xiangyi, but it had never known Li Lianhua.
Li Lianhua, who could wield Shaoshi like it was a natural extension of his arm, but regularly cut his fingers clumsily slicing radishes and onions. Li Lianhua, who would invariably try to shrug off an attack of bicha poison, but yelped and jumped back from hot oil splatters in the kitchen like a child. Li Lianhua, who frowned when a passing carriage splashed mud onto his robes, but knelt carelessly into the dirt and grass to play with Hulijing.
None of them knew any of that.
But as Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng continue their travels, they begin to encounter other people as well. People who come running when they see Lianhualou in the distance tottering their way. People who come bearing gifts — a woman looking for the shenyi who had helped her with her back pain and also exposed the con artist who had tried to trick her daughter into marriage. A young man coming to thank the doctor who had given his father herbs for stress while uncovering the corrupt official who had falsely accused him of theft. An elderly couple looking for the young man who had helped them thatch their roof before a rainstorm and had given them some medicinal cream before he left. (One middle-aged man with a club, looking for the wangba quack doctor who had exposed his infidelity to his wife — he had left after one look at Di Feisheng, standing silently in the doorway with his arms folded across his chest and dao strapped across his back.) People who greet Hulijing like an old friend.
Fang Duobing listens eagerly to every story they tell him, and in return, he tells them about his brilliant, kind, exasperating friend. Di Feisheng rolls his eyes every time, but Fang Duobing notices he never walks away either. They don't talk about it. But it’s as if Li Lianhua returns, however briefly, during those visits; in those moments, Fang Duobing can almost see him standing there, bending down to pet Hulijing alongside these old friends as she grins her little doggy grin and wags her tail. She escorts their guests to the door, and sits in the doorway after they leave, looking out at the world as though waiting. He doesn't ask if Di Feisheng can see him too. They sit and share wine after these visits, and eat the fruit that the visitors bring, until Di Feisheng can stand the heavy silence no longer and pushes Fang Duobing outside to spar. Hulijing follows faithfully, as always.
(fang duobing had brought home a puppy, once. he can't remember where he found it, but he remembers that he had held it in his lap in his wheelchair, eager to show it to his uncle before taking it home to his mother. his uncle had glared, and told him that dogs were only useful to guard the house, and tianji manor already had guards, human ones, and that fang duobing would do better to focus on his swordplay rather than waste time on such useless and frivolous things. he had taken the puppy away and fang duobing had never seen it again. it wasn't until those blurry months as he rode across the countryside looking for li lianhua, hulijing trotting along ever so loyally at his side, that he realized this was just another way that shan gudao and li xiangyi were opposites.)
The years pass, and there are fewer and fewer people who come. One day Fang Duobing wakes up with the unbearable realization that he is now older than Li Lianhua had ever been, would ever be, and is unable to get out of bed for a good half a shichen. Di Feisheng leaves him be.
The years pass, and Di Feisheng grows older too. There are lines on his face, snowy white beginning to thread through his jet-black hair. Fang Duobing wants very much to tease him about it, but the words catch in his throat when he looks too closely at the signs of time on Di Feisheng's face. What a precious and altogether rare thing it is, to age.
The years pass, and Hulijing grows older too. Fang Duobing finds that more and more often, Hulijing can no longer keep up with him when he goes riding. He stops going riding. She gets cold more easily now too, and more and more often Fang Duobing wakes in the morning with Hulijing curled up under the covers next to him, her wet nose shoved into his armpit. He holds her close and thinks about Li Lianhua shivering in his arms.
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It's been nearly a year since their last visitor, but today there is an old man. He comes in the morning, bringing a basket of plums. A long time ago, he says, a young man who lived here saved my life. I had been poisoned, he says, by my son who wanted my money and my lands. The doctors said there was no cure. But then the young man came and performed a miracle. He saved my life. He saved my life.
Fang Duobing knows it was no miracle that saved him. He asks for the old man's hand and it is given readily, albeit bemusedly. He presses his fingers to the inside of the man's wrist, and is greeted with a whisper-faint, gentle thrum of yangzhouman — a soft hello from a much-beloved friend. You fool, he thinks dazedly, caught somewhere between overwhelmed that here is someone, inside whom a piece of Li Lianhua lives on, and so bitterly angry. What had it cost? Some hours, days, weeks? He doesn't let himself think of what another week might have afforded them in those wild final days, in their desperate search for a cure. Fang Duobing gives the old man back his hand and blinks back the sting of tears. He cannot talk about Li Lianhua today. He apologizes and tells him that the man he is looking for is traveling and won't be back for a few days, but that Fang-mou will pass on the message. Before he leaves, the man leans down to rub at Hulijing's ear. My old friend, he says, like me, you, too, are truly old now.
After the man leaves, Fang Duobing folds himself into a sit on the floor of Lianhualou and gathers Hulijing into his arms. Gently — her joints are stiff now, and he can't haul her around, can't roughhouse with her the way he used to. Di Feisheng comes down the stairs from where he had been listening; he stands behind Fang Duobing and places a warm, steady hand on his shoulder. At the edge of his vision, near the door, Fang Duobing can see the hazy hem of green robes. If he looks up, he wonders brokenly, what would he see? The face of a man forever frozen in youth? Or a face lined with age, snowy white beginning to thread through jet-black hair? He suddenly finds that he cannot bear to find out.
Fang Duobing knows. He knows that the myth and the outlandish rumors about proud, arrogant, beautiful Li Xiangyi will never die. But he also knows that one day, there will be no one else who comes to Lianhualou; no one left who remembers gentle, sly, infuriating Li Lianhua. One day, the old man will pass on and the piece of Li Lianhua that he carries with him will fade as well. And one day… Fang Duobing presses his forehead against the soft fur of Hulijing's neck where it has gone white and thin with age. He closes his eyes and breathes.
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Years and years and years later, Fang Duobing is awakened from where he has fallen into a light doze reading in his chair by a soft knock on the door. There is a woman standing outside, holding a small basket of pears. I think I remember this building, she says. I must've only been six years old, but I had run off and lost my parents. I fell down in the street and skinned my knees. A kind gege helped me and gave me a piece of candy. He said he would walk me home but I said I didn't know whether I should tell him where I lived. He laughed and asked if it would help if I knew where he lived. He pointed to the most fantastical and wild house I had ever seen. I think it was this place. Xiansheng, does he live here? Who was he? Do you know him?
Fang Duobing smiles and invites her inside. On the bed, the small white dog that Di Feisheng has named, ridiculously, Baigujing, raises her head and thumps her tail a few times in hello. Di Feisheng looks up from where he is writing a letter at the table. Fang Duobing leads the woman over and waves at her to sit down. He sits across from her, ignoring Di Feisheng's eyeroll, and offers her a piece of candy. He always keeps candy around. Fang Duobing smiles once more and says, if you'd like to know — there is so much I would like to tell you.
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inertia-writes · 9 months ago
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dehradun days
you meet them for the first time,
knowing it's probably the last.
might as well make the most of this time,
since life comes at you fast.
you find the strangest of signals
in the no-network zones.
cross-tent communication with folks,
just rambling about the unknown.
there's the warmth of shared laughter,
that carries you through freezing nights,
and you look up at the flickering stars,
to finally see things in a different light.
and at 11,000 ft above sea level
you finally reach the peak,
just to realise the joy was in the journey,
and the friends you made that week.
you'll visit caves & splendid cafes,
and remember the city in mere parts,
but years later, you'll still tell everyone,
how dehradun captured your heart.
#inertia-writes#poets on tumblr#desi poetry#dehradun poetry#poems on india#poems on life#desiblr#being desi#dehradun#i went on a trek w the lowest of expectations and it was one of the best experiences of my life#it's so refreshing to meet people from different cities and of different ages and backgrounds#jan and feb were pretty meh but things have been looking upwards from march (thank you god - i acknowledge your existence)#thought of writing a happy poem for a change of tone (and also maybe because i am genuinely happy :) )#this isn't one of my best poems i feel - it's a bit unrefined - but who cares it is one of my happy ones sooooo#there are times when absolutely nothing significant happens and there are days when years happen#i didn't go in the mountains for solitude - i felt that here already haha. i went for a change.#but i gained so many memories w people and so many positive perspectives that i needed in general. also nayata premier league <3#i think i believe in destiny now. i was destined to meet those people and have a good time and come back to reality w a spring in my step#and maybe the mountains were calling. can't stay away from snow too long - i was born during snowy days anyway#came back home and am still in some weird positive trance - good for me#also my lucky streak is still going on - kaavish released a new song#historic moment in time (thank you god 2x)#poems on friendship#found family#poems on found family#all the may '23 - feb '24 melancholy has been washed out of my system. i am now set for the next tragedy of my life lol#dekhte hai kab tak khush rehti hu mein - kuch bhayankar honewala hai aisa lag raha hai#i do not remember the last time i was happy for a month straight - am i living in a virtual simulation?#whoever is controlling my life rn - i would like to continue to stay in this simulation - thanks v much
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cometblaster2070 · 10 days ago
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the ost for rennala's first phase makes me feel so emotional and actually makes me feel like shit because what am I doing here I am LITERALLY just beating up a depressed mother who has no idea what's happening only that this hobo broke into her library and has started assaulting her for no reason.
gorgeous ost to be honest like yuka kitamura woman of my own heart it goes SO hard and it's probably my favorite in the base game alongside the elden beast's theme because it just tugs at my heartstrings and honestly makes me FEEL things.
also there's a version on youtube where someone's synched the audio of the fight (like the juvenile scholars singing and rennala and ranni's dialogue) to the music and it is genuinely SO good it works so well I absolutely love it sm I implore everyone to check it out.
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highraccoon · 9 months ago
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it's so fun when the people who took everything from you claim to be the real victims. like, y'all want to dump a years-long friendship in a dumpster fire just cause you're in a romantic relationship and that's the only thing that matters to you, go fucking ahead. but don't pretend to be the victim when you were the one who destroyed it.
you don't get to take literally everything from me and claim that you were the real victim when the only thing you didn't take was the skin off my bones.
#sunbun speaks#i keep having nightmares/memories of the 3-ish people who literally left me with nothing but the clothes on my back#and kept asking for more because it wasn't enough#or the fact that every single one of them basically turned into whoever their partner wanted them to be and would ditch their own parents#if their partner told them they didn't like them anymore#using me as a scapegoat whenever they had negative feelings and accuse me of being the source instead of a voice of reason#or just straight up getting pissed at me when i wasn't going to play their toxic game#and by the end of it all i had nothing: no clothes or any of my stuff no money nowhere to go and no friends#they destroyed my life while i was barely a blip in theirs#people who grew up with wealthy parents are fucking pricks#because yeah that's another thing they all had in common other than being codependent af: they all grew up with upper-middle class parents#they just took and took and took and tossed me aside#cause btw it's really hard to get back a lifetimes worth of stuff in only a few years with no money#i still remember everything they took from me and not just material possessions#and in the end they wanted me to apologize to them for being inadequate in filling my role as emotional punching bag#only for none of them to feel any remorse and get mad at me for implying they did anything that i didn't deserve#even looking at my life now i only have my partner and my kids#as much as i try i can't fix the fact that I'm autistic which means i will always struggle with human interaction#so it's not like it's easy to make friends#especially not friends who don't religiously devote themselves at the alter of toxic monogamy and view anyone else as 'extra' and disposable#in a matter of three years those three people took everything from me and despite it being 6 years later i am STILL recovering what i lost#how can you destroy someone's life who never did anything to you and still consider yourself the victim
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rocksandmirrors · 2 years ago
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i need to write this fic of Matt, Skara, Viney etc looking for their family and friends together and bonding and shit. basically a fic about them pre-FTF
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flash-from-the-past · 9 months ago
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Glassez!
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variablejabberwocky · 1 year ago
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...i have learned more about the batman canon/dc universe against my will and i think i get it now
i think i get why everyone is angry
because right now?
right now i'm furious
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oh-meow-swirls · 2 years ago
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whoever on 3's development team decided that nate, buck n hailey should have a single braincell between them better have gotten a raise cuz that's the best part of the game tbh-
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ourceliumnetwork · 24 days ago
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i really am just going to have to lean into the fact that i just really like cheese board foods and deal with that, aren't I?
#tw: eating disorder#this post brought to you by#the can of olives i put on the list last grocery run that i am having to stop myself from devouring in one go#and how well black olives pair with cream cheese on any vehicle#(it's very well btw in case you were wondering)#get some hard salamies some good cheese options some more olive varieties some pickles maybe some nuts and dried fruits#mmm#...it is not lost on me that the heavy presence of salty foods on here is probably my body's attempt to fix itself from the POTS lol#i struggle with eating around people so you'd THINK this would actually not help#but i might try and hold back some of the olives so i can have them on my plate for Upcoming Holiday Meals so i can eat with everyone...#i think it might work#cause i have zero problem with these foods to the point that i will annihilate a snack table if i don't monitor myself#and remember there are usually other people involved when the snack table layout happens#....learning this is a thing i have has not been my most fun revelation i'll be so honest with you right now#i have panic attacks if i know it's possible other people know i am even making my own plate to eat in my room alone#because then they know i'm consuming food#and it hits randomly - i'm blaming it on the holiday season right now#i don't remember if it's seasonal or not but it feels like this is something i've been struggling with all year and probably for longer#and like... it's fucked up i can't eat with people#i want to hang out i want to enjoy the meal in front of whoever made it so they see i loved it#i want to hang out and chat and have fun and watch stuff with other people#and sometimes i can figure out how to do that#but i... i got startled earlier this year with someone who was Greeting Me while i ate and i reacted poorly and i feel terrible every time#because like... i love this person i want them to feel comfortable enough to come give me a hug as soon as they're at me#i want them to know i want their presence i just...#i was eating and i... i can't let people know i eat - i'm messy i'm too fast i'm too slow i talk too much i'm not talking at all i'm eating#something weird i'm eating something normal and boring and someone is going to say something about how much is on my plate and#...and i really do in fact have an eating disorder like#i don't need a doctor to tell me that i have something wrong with my relationship to food and the consumption thereof and i'm fighting it#i'm fighting it EVERY DAMN DAY because i *know* i need to eat and i *know* i dont NEED to earn my food
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neverendingford · 4 months ago
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#tag talk#fetlife feels like sex facebook and I kinda hate it#it also feels overwhelmingly heterosexual but maybe I'm just looking in the wrong places#idk. I haven't felt like actually having sex anyway so I guess it doesn't matter now does it?#it all feels just kinda pointless right now#whoops that's the depression talking. cause right now everything feels pointless and sad#anyway waugh everything is bad and we're all going to die#I just have to remember this is a cycle and I'll get through it#some day I'll be manic and happy and excited and crazy again and it'll be beautiful and I'll be happy#but I have to make it through this hard part first#it'll all get better again. it has before and it will again#I've been hella productive even though I've been depressed though.#got halfway through a good scifi book. folded laundry. watched a fun movie with a friend. changed my bedsheets. I'm showered.#I kinda wanna cut my hair short#I miss being a cute boy.#it's wild that it feels my gender has shifted like a grinding stone monolith turns mechanically#I feel gears grinding inside and I have no idea what is happening#I don't control it I don't understand it I just feel the effects as buttons push themselves inside my ribcage#do you feel like you know who you are? can you predict what you will be like tomorrow? Who you will be?#I can't. I never could. all I know is that I will be a different person tomorrow than I am today. I will lose the ability to predict.#I have learned to roll with the punches but I shouldn't have to dodge punches at all#I shouldn't be beaten up at all#idk. whatever. fuck you I guess. whoever you are. I hope you're happier in life than I am right now
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edge-oftheworld · 8 months ago
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thinking of luke saying he'd like to be called a hot woman and then how someone on here thought he was a lesbian in the hatc shoot like. live ur dreams boy
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clamorybus · 1 year ago
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i know a lot of people say things like 'if my post doesn't apply to you then its not for you' when they make advice posts, which i totally get. but when people make posts dissing picky eaters or adult cartoon fans or whatever, and other people point out that includes disabled adults, i feel like "oh i didn't mean them!" doesn't really work, y'know?
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cutieln4 · 3 months ago
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Kiss and Makeup | LN4 smau
lando norris x reader
summary: you are lando norris's makeup artist
fc: isabela merced
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caption: my face after waking up at 4 am to do ppl’s makeup
yourusername
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yourusername my life recently
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yourbsf you’re GLOWING babe
mclaren check DMs!
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caption: New stuff coming soon🤭
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user1 oh wow he's so handsome
user2 OMG IM SO HAPPY
user3 YAY NEW LANDO CONTENT
mclaren
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mclaren Some new bags have been released with our partnership with Tumi, check them out below!
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user1 he's so—HJQHSJCHJW
user2 wow😋
user3 i want to bite him
user4 I NEED HIM SO BAD
user5 anything you say sweetheart😍
user6 #needthat
user7 i'll cook and clean the dishes just one chance plsss
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yourusername it was nice doing something else! thanks for having me! @/mclaren
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yourbsf remember me when you're famous😔
user1 IM SO JEALOUS
mclaren thanks for joining us!
user2 how does one get this job
landonorris thanks for letting me look at all ur powders!
yourusername haha ofc, anytime!
user3 OMG LANDO COMMENTED
user4 lando commented what does this meannnnnnn
landonorris
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landonorris gearing up for the next race
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user1 P1 i see the vision
user2 i love that helmet
magui_corceiro good luck!
user3 letsssgoo
yourusername good luck!
landonorris thank you! ;)
user4 🤨
user5 ?????
yourusername
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yourusername anyway i also have a life
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yourbsf body is tea tho
yourbsf GORGEOUS
user1 face card never declines
user2 i fear you are serving
landonorris pretty
yourusername thank you😊
user3 OHHHHH
user4 RIZZ?????
user5 oh to have lando norris call me pretty
user6 guys is this the start of something new?
user7 alright chill out zac efron
GQ
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GQ Racing, gaming, and padel, hear all about Lando Norris in his interview here
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user1 WOWZA
user2 another photoshoot? please tell me y/n was his makeup artist
user3 ZOO WEE MAMA🥵
user4 lando has been feeding us lately
user5 i can't handle this anymore
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caption: bros messing up the makeup😐
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user1 IM SO JEALOUS
user2 soooo are yall dating or what?
landonorris oops?
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landonorris
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landonorris that's more like it
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user1 LANDO NORRIS 2X GRAND PRIX WINNER
user2 absolute domination today
user3 congrats!!
yourusername invite me next time?
landonorris yes ma'am🫡
user4 WHAT DOES THIS MEANNNNN
user5 im sick of them
maxfewtrell put a shirt on mate
user6 no we don't mind😊
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yourusername who is this diva????
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user1 HELP I LOVE HER
user2 my b pose is naaastyyy
user3 he's so handsome
landonorris it's not too late to delete
yourusername but what fun is that???
user4 🚢🚢🚢
user5 so so jealous
user6 is she just like his permanent makeup artist now lol?
yourusername yeah he kidnapped me
landonorris for legal reasons this is a joke😑
user7 OMG
tumitravel
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tumitravel Lando Norris for TUMI
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user1 ok i'll buy the bag
user2 does lando come with the bag???
user3 yn is one lucky girl
user4 love how y'all just assume their dating
user3 well yes
user5 HOLY MOLY
yourusername wow whoever did his makeup must be really good
landonorris meh shes okay
user6 stop i love them
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user1 HELP WHOS CAT IS THAT
user2 who u making heart pizza with??🤨
user3 if i say what i wanna say they'll silence me
user3 they're so dating
user4 🤫
yourusername aw cute cat
landonorris thx :)
user5 let me just sit back and observe
user6 yesss lando.jpg revival finally
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user1 where ya going?🙂
yourbsf gonna miss u when ur in singapore :(
user2 y'all so cute idec if you're dating or not
landonorris
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landonorris sing a pore
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user1 bruh
user2 hard launch on live tv goes crazy
user3 bro's just gonna ignore that EVERYONE saw that kiss
yourusername you can't keep a secret to save your life
landonorris oops🤭
yourusername you're lucky ur cute
user4 CONFIRMATION YES
user5 WAR IS OVER
user6 I WAS HERE
user7 okay but that was so fricking cute
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yourusername muppet🙄
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user1 HELP
landonorris i said i was sorry pls
landonorris sorry again😁😁😁
landonorris where did you get these photos
user2 nahh that's crazy
user3 okay now i'm definitely jealous
user4 this is literally a wattpad story like wdym she's his makeup artist and now they're dating???
yourbsf i'd like to thank beyoncé
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gyeomsweetgyeom · 4 months ago
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⋆⭒˚.⋆ Self-On Kode with Jaehyun ⋆⭒˚.⋆
idol!Jaehyun x f!famous!reader
summary: you and Jaehyun are paired up for an interview. You should know what texting your boyfriend is like, right?
(cw: f!reader, famous!reader)
"Hi," Jaehyun greets the camera, "this is the perfect opportunity to catch up on some music." He settles into the plush pink chair while he fits the headphones over his ears.
His music begins to play while you enter the set and greet the camera which prevents him from hearing who his mystery partner might be. You pop your earbuds in and explain your screen name, "I chose Cupid because I like to set my friends up and help them in their relationships."
The camera cuts to Jaehyun who stares blankly at the camera, "I choose Valentine, because I was born on Valentine's day."
You settle into the chair and make yourself comfortable while your partner for the video begins messaging you. Whoever it is is very proper, uses all the right punctuation and is straightforward. Your eyes widen at the camera, speaking through the music playing through your earbuds, "is this an old man? Am I texting someone's grandpa?"
The staff bursts out laughing and you decide to text your exact question. Jaehyun's eyes widen and he can feel his ears heat in embarrassment beneath the head phones. He texts back with a slight pout on his face, "No, I'm not a grandpa."
You text back and forth for a while, talking about your hobbies, your MBTI, and just trying to make small talk. When you make a joke he doesn't respond with any laughs or emojis, when you try to make more conversation, he responds with short answers. You lean back in your chair, with a huff, "this person is not very fun. It has to be an old man. He doesn’t get any of my jokes!”
The staff prompts you both to send a picture of your home screens. You had recently updated it knowing that you were doing the interview and you and Jaehyun liked to keep your relationship private. Yes, it was known and public, but that didn't mean you were both open to sharing every little aspect, or really any details. Maybe one day you would both be open to sharing everything, but that day was not today.
You quickly take a screenshot of your screen which happens to be a couple folders of your apps and a widget of some picture you had found on Pinterest against the background of some flowers outside your favorite cafe.
Jaehyun perks up a little bit, "I think this looks familiar. I recognize the chairs and words on the wall, even though I can't really see it. Maybe it's one of the members?"
You study the picture sent to you with your brows furrowed as you zoom in and study the apps and the picture, "this looks so familiar to me. It looks like a restaurant in Jeju I was at a few weeks ago, I could be wrong. Let me ask."
The staff struggles to muffle their laughs at yours and Jaehyun's joint confusion. Of course, the pictures looked familiar to each of you, you were together, and had been to these places together.
You continue to text back and forth for a while, finally getting somewhere when he starts to show a little more personality and send some memes in response to your texts. He seemed to be a pretty funny guy, ultimately making you decide it was not an old man you were texting, just someone more proper and maybe old-er.
When it comes time to have you both send your recent food orders, Jaehyun pouts and furrows his brows as he studies the recent orders you'd sent him. There were 3 recent orders, 2 were for 2 people, and the last one was for a larger group. The orders looked familiar, one order for pizza and the other for ramen. It was food he had recently eaten and as hard as he tried to remember he couldn't remember who he had eaten the food with. His schedule had been so packed lately, everything was jumbled up in his head. "It has to be one of my members," he decides out loud.
You study the screenshot sent by "Valentine" while biting your lip, one of the orders was what you had eaten yesterday. A small voice in the back of your head was telling you it was your boyfriend, but he told you he was doing talk shows and variety shows today. This wasn't considered either right? Does he really text like this and you’ve never noticed? Surely, you know what your own boyfriend texts like, right?
You both continue chatting and whoever it is makes you laugh pretty hard at some points when your partner says something stupid or sends a dumb meme. You laugh especially loud, choking on your spit when he sends you a drawing of what he thinks you look like.
You have tears in your eyes and warm cheeks as you stare at a poor drawing of what looks like a boy, freckles, huge eyes, big smile. Your eyes dart from the screen of your phone to the lens of the camera, “wh- he thinks I’m a boy? This doesn’t even look like a person who actually exists!”
Jaehyun on his own side bursts out laughing after zooming in and looking at every detail of the picture, “there are wrinkles on this drawings face. And it’s bald. He thinks I’m an old man, so weird.”
As the time winds to an end you look at the staff behind the camera, somewhat shocked and saddened by the end. "Time flew by!" you scrunch up your face as you think, "I don't think I have a really good read on who it is. I think it's a man that's older than me and probably someone in the music industry since he related to so much. Maybe he's a dancer or producer of some kind."
On the other side Jaehyun is set on who he thinks it is, "it's one of my members, I know it. I think it's Jungwoo or Haechan."
You both stand and turn to face your partners. Upon catching sight of Jaehyun, you immediately scream and run behind the set laughing while screaming, "you told me you had variety shows today! Go home!"
Jaehyun bursts out laughing, hunched over as his cheeks flush, "you didn't tell me either! Get back here!"
Your voice comes out loudly paired with your surprised and embarrassed laughter, "No! I'm so humilated!"
The staff manages to get you both together for the ending conversation. The cameras start filming and you smack Jaehyun's forearm lightly, "you are a horrible texter."
"What did I even say?" He laughs in shock.
"I never realized how boring you are through words, you text like an old man."
Jaehyun answers the staff as they ask how you both possible couldn't pick up on each other through the texts. Jaehyun looks at the camera while he answers, his hand holding yours beneath the tall table, "I think texting is so boring and annoying. We call each other or video call. If we open our messages we use voice notes, we very rarely actually text each other.
You squeeze his hand under the table, eyeing him with a mischievous look, “who did you think I was? You thought I was a boy, who did you have in mind?”
Jaehyun rubs his free hand over his face, already regretting his guess, “before I tell you, you have to understand my thinking. Jeno and Chenle did one of these interviews together so I just figured it could be another member. I thought you were Jungwoo or Haechan.”
You guffaw, a shocked laugh leaving you as you pull your phone out and pull up the drawing he had sent you, “this is what Jungwoo or Haechan look like to you?”
“I’m not an artist! Well, not that kind of artist, but I think it’s pretty good. I even added teeth in the smile.”
“Babe, that’s creepy.”
“Who knew you were such an art critic all of a sudden?” He playfully asks with a bobble of his head.
The staff subtly tell you both to wrap it up, reminding you to take a selfie before ending the video. You catch the cues and smile at Jaehyun, “we’ve been together for a while now but I feel like I learned a lot about you today. You text like an old man, you can’t draw, and you have a horrible memory.”
“Hey! You didn’t know who I was either! The food orders didn’t give anything away?”
“We’re talking about this later,” you decide to reply as you lift your phone to take a selfie.
“Wait, lift it to this angle,” Jaehyun instructs as he gently moves your arm.
“Wow, so bossy,” you mumble jokingly as you snap the picture.
The screen goes black with the selfie of you and Jaehyun with matching bright smiles on your faces as yours and Jaehyun’s laugh transition into the ending of the video.
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reshinless · 3 months ago
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──── day 2: dnd on the hotel door.
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⠀ ۪ ⠀✧ synopsis. wherein your friends give him.. more than just suggestive photos at your wedding. (you had a private boudoir photoshoot prior to it!)
⠀ ۪ ⠀✧ pairings. kinich, neuvillette, zhongli, tartaglia, capitano x gn!afab!reader. !!NSFW/SUGGESTIVE CONTENT!!
⠀ ۪ ⠀✧ director's notice. saw a cute tt of this exact topic (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠) will do diff characters next week!
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kinich who'd already been so nervous for whatever was to come on this day; he was always more than willing. he knew the first laugh you both shared. the first kiss you both partook in, not everyone he's kissed had such a long-lasting impact on him, that's if he ever kissed anyone at all (that wasn't you.)
it wasn't all that special he said, but everything you've ever wanted in a wedding was there. he remembered what flowers you'd always pluck from the grounds you traveled on. or the colors that always had your eyebrow twitching just hearing the first letter of the pigment's name.
the venue wasn't necessarily small either, borrowing whatever he could in his homeland to make it perfect, even going as far as to asking others for help on what to embellish the locale in.
for as long as you've known him- kinich wasn't much of a romantic. letting you take the lead instead, switching up occasionally by spooning you alternatively. but you remembered he'd always laid his head atop your chest, from the nightmares of his own past, and regrets; he found peace in listening to your heartbeat, and feeling your torso heave slowly.
he wanted to make you feel special today & tonight. so he wants to do it right at least. he tried to fluster you in a way that you'd be surprised, aware he wasn't very amorous.
or at least that's what was in his point of view because you had a whole other plan ready for him. but you didn't know about the surprises he'd throw either.
the whole theme of the wedding was based on his tribe, encased with traces of your own home/favorite colors.
but something that you'd see as a surprise this afternoon was kinich's suit. it wasn't the usual black suit and tie. no- he wore.. your initial around his neck, and his tie was the color of your eyes.
you felt your eyes water a little, walking down the aisle, your arm entangled with the guardian who's been with you since day one. (or whoever you'd like!)
after the classic bouquet toss, and squealings later. you told your newly-wed husband your bridesmaids had a surprise for him. he didn't think much of it; meeting them before, they seemed nice enough. (one of them is mualani btw :3)
mualani who stands beside kinich briefly for the picture, she hands him a polaroid photo from the photographer's kamera. "what is-" he gets cut off, his face turning to playfully sour until it slowly changes to his usual stoic behavior (he doesn't know his face is turning redder by the second)
"you.. hmm." he awkwardly nodded after another picture was taken of his reaction, cheeks aflame; the picture was still so clear in his mind. now it couldn't get out!
the mental image of your body in frilly lace/in nothing but a blanket over you, a simple layer of clothing that stopped him from seeing your bare body- fuck he could feel himself get hard already.
and the more time that passed, progressing with each photo being taken, the worse his boner got. shit he can't believe you're his. and he's damn well lucky to have you.
even as he stood idly, talking to some of the guests, some more of the bridesmaids came up to him, handing him more scenes for him to visualize in his head.
"ahh.. may i excuse myself from this conversation?" he politely bows and walks away to where you were. the eventide's stellar in the sky definitely wasn't shining each time he saw you. oh there it is- that laugh he always loved and fell in love with again each time he heard it.
"pretty.. ahh.. there's something i.. need help with."
kinich who's already in your newly bought home, hurriedly stripping you of your clothes, ready to devour you and eat your cunt out to his content.
kinich who could only palm his erection, as his mouth latched onto your wetness was already waiting for him. your taste, how it smelled, how your slit was already so wet for him- you knew what you were doing. and it worked really damn well.
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neuvillette who was already nervous, throughout the proposal, even you relationship before being fiancees, I mean, it was you, why wouldn't he be worried? he was ready to jump off a cliff if anything went wrong if he'd tell the truth, but he'd never say that.
neuvillette who sighed with relief, the days of worrying that something bad might happen to you on your special day with him. taking pictures with the bridesmaids for the wedding's little picture book for you to look back on soon, and maybe even for your kids to look at and call you both corny for.
neuvillette who suddenly received 3 photo frames from 3 of your bridesmaids, confused as he took a look at it, he could only feel the rush of warmth crawling up from his neck to his ears. his horns grew the more he looked into the photos.
"w- where did you get this?" he observed the room shyly, looking for any signs of you, why? to help him out with 'something' of course. no one could take care of it better than you did.
they simply shrugged and walked away, whispering and chuckling to each other. awkwardly walking to find you, pulling you to the side, inside one of the venue's main buildings, bringing you into one of the bedrooms.
"you didn't need to tease me like this." you were pinned to the bed once the wedding ended. the painful boner you had caused hadn't gone away, even now, throbbing, missing where it's supposed to be (inside you)
ripping your wedding dress off your body (not really, just making sure you get out of it without ruining it), he couldn't wait to fill you with his seed. he wanted to see personally if you could take all of him in. he could only caress the very rim of your hole, teasing you with his fingers before he would finally split you apart with his cock.
from the amount of time, he's been alive, his stamina would be unmatched, so it'd be entirely up to you for how long you wanna do this :)
it felt as if he was such a meanie, but his words were different- praising you, and gently holding your wrists in place. it didn't quite match the pace of his cock drilling itself inside you though, it felt deep, and it looked as if the night has barely even started. oh well.
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zhongli had never thought of the idea of marriage until he overheard you speaking about it with a few of your friends. it wasn't you necessarily hoping he'd propose, but you were the only one within the group of four to have not been married yet!
he knows you'd never leave him for another, but adding a ring to your pretty little hand definitely would tell all the other men and women alike who try to hit on you to say everything for him.
the wedding was more than just a delight, it was planned to the very smallest of details. it was beautiful, even on a budget of somewhat a lot but not too much; it made sure to shine brighter than most of the stars that night.
before he could sweep you into his arms, and take you upstairs into the home you both chose out before the wedding; some of your bridesmaids, along with your maid of honor had handed him a book.
they said nothing but laughed and walked away to the food section, looking through the book and oh wow.
he hadn't learned what a boudoir was but he definitely enjoyed what he was seeing now. flipping through the pages, staying to the side so no one else could see what was happening. he'll have to ask you about that lingerie set later, white definitely complimented you..
"s'dirty.. you tease me like this, even on our special day? mmmf.." you sat down on his cock, as he showed you off in the mirror. the same lingerie set you wore in the photo book was already ripped off your body, and on the floor. geo marks that scattered, covering most of his arms caressed your thighs that trembled.
his strong arm ran over your body, carefully exploring every inch of you that he could. the thought of being legally, and weddedingly(?) yours. you have his last name now.
he could only imagine how much more pleasure he'd want to give you throughout tonight. he could only praise you for taking him so well, watching you try and use his cock for your own, but he's too big :(.
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tartaglia who introduced you with pride to his family after proposing. but watching you treat his little sister and brother so well.. oh he had to get you pregnant.
but for now, he'd put those thoughts to the side, and enjoy his and your special day, no lust, just love.
you had other plans though. and he wasn't gonna complain.
a couple of your bridesmaids took pictures with him for the futurity of the book of photos for his siblings to look through as well. but after each photo, they all handed him Polaroids.
"what's this?" he looked at them confusedly, but all they did was "just look at it!" "you won't regret it!" and boy he sure did not!!! ssshit just covered in a blanket, no nothing underneath? you wanna get fucked tonight?
he pushed you against the wall of the master bedroom. "mmm.. w'na try to get me hard like that again in public, and I'm gonna do a looott worse than tonight, baby."
the ring on your finger he saw as your hand held onto the wall while he stripped you- he couldn't help but let out a loud as hellll groan. even when he held you down to the bed, he made sure to kiss the jewelry on your finger that meant you're his for life.
while you ride him, his eyes are always on the necklace that has his initials on it, watching it bounce up and down on your chest. for the longest time; he was foreign to the idea of even a relationship, let alone getting to marry someone. but he was gonna make sure you'll feel what he couldn't express throughout time.
when he's soo obsessed with nutting inside you, he holds your hips down onto his, making sure not a drop will be wasted. he could already imagine what your kids with him would look like.
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capitano who preferred a more quiet wedding. one between simple friends, and I guess co-workers (he was against it but you invited them anyway.)
so in this sense, columbina, arlecchino, and signora had agreed to accompany you as your bridesmaids. tsaritsa also agreed to bless your wedding (because she agrees that you are strong, mentally, and physically, and give capitano something to look forward to, unlike before.)
i guess the others attended (most attended just to say congrats and leave, pierro was best man)
accompanying you down to a glass garden house nearby the venue you chose out, but before he could proceed, your three bridesmaids stopped him. cheeky smiles on signora, and columbina's lips- arlecchino handed him a book.
"they want you to have this." the fourth harbinger states, leaving with the two ladies simply giggling and walking off, opposite sides of arlecchino.
he questioningly opened the book while about to walk back to you but oh. wow.
as he catches up to you, he's still a bit flustered, but quickly composed himself once more. "are.. you trying to tease me, kitten?"
and as much as he hasn't had any experience in a long while, oh boy is he ready to find out if he still got it or not
but capitano never knew he'd be so turned on to think about what real married life had to offer.. like kids. he knew he couldn't necessarily have them since he's a harbinger, but a man can dream, right?
anyways he's already pulling your hair from behind, while he has you doggy style on the mattress. I don't know cause I get the feeling he would.
a tight hold onto the strands of your hair. "fffuck.. this is what you get for looking so fuckin' hot.." he groans.
even so when he isn't fucking your pussy with sloppy thrusts from behind- he's fingering you with his long fingers that make you go wild.
he does take note that his fingers are pretty long, so he's pretty careful when it comes down to that.
you sitting on his lap while he admires you in the mirror, watching how you reacted to simply him adding another digit inside your hole, as another hand held onto your left hand, caressing the ring that binded you to him. he couldn't be happier!
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pinkberrytea · 6 months ago
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He had tasted you once; now, he craves every inch of your being, his hunger insatiable.
Little death—a gift he bestowed upon her, and which she bestows upon him in turn. As her lifeblood touches his lips, Astarion reminisces about the fateful eve when he first sank his fangs into her pretty neck.
Come, gentle night; and when he shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars.
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Astarion x Tav (F!Reader)
w/c: 3.1k words . ao3 . spotify playlist . 18+ only . nsfw . dividers
a/n: i can't be the only one who is convinced my man is down bad since the very first bite, right? he is so interesting to me! i wanted to explore this idea further, hopefully i did it justice. thank you for reading!
tags: blood drinking; fluff & smut; possessive behavior; masturbation; body worship; mildly dubious consent; dry humping; somnophilia
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“Later on, when we are at rest, I will eat you right up. Just enough to give me strength, and just enough to leave you wishing for more.”
Footsteps. You hear them approaching, although in your half-unconscious torpor, you can’t tell if they’re near or far. You’re likewise unsure of what has disturbed your sleep, even if as of late, nights have been restless and plagued by nightmares, the worm etched in the recesses of your brain a constant, unforgiving reminder of your plight. Your mind is still hazy, fragments of your dreams clouding your thoughts, so you rely on your primal instincts instead—you smell nothing but the crisp evening air, feel nothing but the cool breeze caressing your warm body, see nothing but endless darkness from behind your closed eyelids, but your ears don’t fail you. You instinctively hold your breath, muscles tensed, staying as still as possible as if playing dead; the footsteps are now almost upon you, the crunching of leaves growing louder and muffling the noise of the crickets singing, and your skin becomes covered in goosebumps in anticipation, the pit of your stomach twisting and turning. Whoever it is, you seem to be their intended target.
Suppressing the mounting panic rising within your chest, you try to gather your bearings and make sense of the situation. You know where you are—Elturgard, or more specifically, a camp in the wilderness, somewhere between Elturel and Baldur’s Gate. Finding a cure for the parasite wriggling in your head is the reason you’re here, and the companions with whom you’re sharing your camp are afflicted by the same condition. Ah, your companions—the footsteps must belong to one of them, surely. The soothing heat of the campfire has significantly dwindled compared to how it was when you turned in, its crackling so low you can barely hear it, and the night is sufficiently chilly that your bedroll fails to offer enough shelter, so you wonder if they are about to tend to the dying flames, or maybe ask you to help them do so. You wait expectantly, pricking up your ears, but suddenly, the crunching sounds come to a halt, and you sense a presence looming over you. A shiver runs down your spine, and your heart starts beating faster, thumping so loudly you’re afraid it may give away your awakened state. The presence silently kneels down beside you, crawling even closer, too close for comfort; and then, you feel it—cold digits ghosting over your cheek, their featherlight touch almost tentatively soft.
Astarion.
Now you remember. You offered to let him feed on you earlier, a habit which you’ve unexpectedly picked up in recent days, although the reason for such eludes you. Perhaps it was his pained expression when he asked you the first time, or maybe something else—you’re not entirely certain, but the fact of the matter is, he is here, except unlike other nights, you are fully aware of your surroundings. Not only that, it has been no more than a fortnight since your little tryst in that pretty clearing, which it seems both of you are intent on pretending never happened. You more so than him—it would be insincere of you to claim you haven’t noticed the dangerous glint in his eyes, how he leans closer when you talk, the cunning smirks and wistful glances. Truth be told, you’re still unsure what to make of it all; none of it is how you expected it would be, not your time together, and certainly not the aftermath. Him, too—though it may be bold of you to assume so, you can’t help but think that his show of vulnerability, however brief, had not been intentional. Ever so often you idly muse over the raw perplexity etched across his face when you invited him to drink from you then, how he looked at you in utter disbelief, letting the mask of a debonair lover slip for a split second; how his kisses became more fervent, his touches less calculated, the confusion never truly seeming to leave him until you were done. And then, the morning after—the hurt in his voice, the complex feelings he appeared to be trying to suppress seeping from every word, as if he had been prepared for anything and everything but genuine yearning, and you ruined it all for him.
“This isn’t about hunger. It’s about pleasure.”
The digits on your cheek slide downwards, gliding across the curve of your jaw and towards your slender neck, where they stop for a brief moment, only to then press down on it, feeling around as if searching for something—an artery, pulsing so very tantalizingly with your precious crimson, a feast set out entirely for him. With his other hand, he gently runs his fingers through your hair and brushes it behind your shoulder, exposing his prize, and repositioning himself to straddle you, he lowers his head until his mouth is hovering right above it. He stays like this for a while, and your blood runs cold as it dawns on you that he may have noticed you are not asleep, but before long, his skin finally comes into contact with yours—however, rather than the sharp pain you’d been expecting, you feel only the pillowy softness of his lips; a tender kiss, which is then followed by another, and then another. One of his hands stays tangled in your hair, cradling your head, and he splays the other on the ground beside you to support himself. His fangs lightly graze the throbbing vein with each peck, almost teasingly, until finally, he sinks them into the sensitive flesh, carefully and steadily so as not to wake you. The uncomfortable sensation is not foreign to you, although it is clear he has become more accustomed to this, even if you have not; his technique has significantly improved, and after the initial stab, it hardly hurts anymore, other than a dull ache every time he swallows, which he does quite enthusiastically.
“Just you and me and—well, maybe a little death?”
Letting out low grunts and guttural moans as he drinks, Astarion sucks ever so vigorously, seemingly more at ease due to your apparent lack of consciousness. Your face gradually grows warmer as you notice tension building up low in your stomach, the noises he makes and the feeling of his plush lips and wet tongue against your skin causing your body to react with pathetic wantonness. You try to stifle the impending arousal, doing your best to remind yourself that he is only feeding, nothing more, nothing less; until you notice the hand on which he had been leaning make its way from its place on the ground to rest on your waist, gingerly moving upwards until his long fingers brush against the plump of one of your breasts, almost as if by accident—it is, however, no accident when two of them then pinch a pebbling nipple through the thin fabric of your nightshirt, delicately massaging the pert nub while the others knead the squishy surrounding flesh. The ache between your legs swells with desire, and you flusteredly bite back the whimper threatening to escape the confines of your closed mouth; believing you to be deep in slumber, he has no reason for such restraint, and his vocalizations increase in frequency and volume alike. 
Having to now use his upper body strength to keep himself propped up, he decides to instead gently fall on top of you, momentarily unlatching from your neck to then slightly push you to the side and press his strong chest flush against your back, one hand woven in your hair and the other cupping your breast still. With almost desperate keenness, he hooks one of his legs over yours, shoving his crotch against your rear, and immediately you notice the rock hard bulge nudging the space between your buttocks. The tips of your ears burn bright red at this realization, making you wonder how common of an occurrence this must be; as your mind wanders to the night when he first bit you, he sinks his fangs back into the bruised vein, and your eyes water a little due to the sudden pain, which you quickly forget about once you feel his hips start almost imperceptibly grinding against your own. Wedging the bulge deeper within the valley of your ass, he moves it to and fro, almost in rhythm with his sucking of your blood, the digits on your bosom earnestly playing with your nipple and those in your hair tenderly caressing the tousled tresses. 
“Hm—hnng…” Astarion groans lewdly, lasciviously, making suggestive wet sounds while sensually lapping at your crimson. No longer satisfied to feel you up through your clothes, he sticks his hand under your shirt, and his cold fingers quickly resume fondling the soft skin of your breast, in response to which shock waves shoot up your legs and arms. Freeing the digits tangled in your hair, he brings them to your ribs, sliding their pads along your navel and down towards your groin, where he then firmly grabs one of your supple thighs. That’s when it occurs to you how unlike your night together he seems to be acting—eagerly exploring your body with almost adolescent clumsiness, his movements sloppy and impulsive, he appears to be entirely focused on taking rather than giving; having no reason to try to impress you, he acts greedily instead, intent on achieving his own personal ecstasy above all else, a fact that doesn’t bother so much as instill in you a puzzling sense of relief.
Increasing the pace of his thrusts, he tightens the grip of his leg around yours, and for a short while you all but forget that your crimson is running down his throat still, unable to focus on anything but the heat irradiating from his skin as it becomes ever warmer the more he feeds. When you notice you can no longer feel the tips of your toes, it is far too late—a tingling sensation spreads across your heavy limbs due to the loss of blood, and holding onto a single thought proves far too difficult, your mind now a messy whirlwind of memories and abstractions. Your arousal persists even as your conscience starts to wane; slick soaks through your underpants, the sweet scent of which causes Astarion to immediately stop moving, freezing as if caught with his fingers inside the cookie jar. After what seems like an eternity, both his hands and fangs leave your helpless form, and he shuffles behind you, presumably looking for something—before you can even begin to wonder what, you feel him press a soft piece of fabric against the fresh set of bite marks on your neck, which he uses to gently wipe the thick red blooming from the small wounds. 
Worried that any further stimulation might disturb your sleep, he decides to attempt a less bold approach instead, pulling away slightly, although your legs remain twisted together. Barely awake now, the echoes of the forest reach your ears in hushed, distant hums, but you can still hear him as he brings the bloodstained cloth to his nose, taking in your scent deeply, eyes closed and a libidinous moan falling from his pretty lips. One of his now freed hands hastily makes its way to the waistband of his pants, only to then slip under it, and as soon as his elegant digits brush against the velvety crown of his cock, he wraps them around its engorged girth, squeezing lightly and drawing pearly droplets of precome from the weeping slit. 
“Mngh…” he croaks, his voice raspy and hoarse, and you can’t tell for sure, but a whisper that vaguely sounds like your own name wafts through the air and vanishes into the evening sky as he starts sliding his hand up and down his length, smearing the clear liquid seeping from the leaking tip all over himself. Prior to your night of passion, this is how he would choose to relieve the painful erection inevitably provoked by his daily feedings, only he would retreat to his tent then; once you became more intimate, things changed, and raw eroticism would percolate into every session, images of your moments together sweeping through his mind and springing his aching sex to life with each gulpful of your lifeblood. The instant you offered him your neck, all he had ever known suddenly came into question—drinking from you while balls-deep into your tight cunt was an experience unlike any other, to the point of almost completely resignifying the concept of pleasure for him. By owning your body, he had made you his, even if only temporarily; your blind trust was something he had never before experienced, and not once had he felt so powerful as with you squirming under him, completely submitting to his whims. 
“Astarion, please…” he recalls you whimpering, the sound of his name on your pink tongue so enticingly sultry, stirring up in him all sorts of conflicting feelings; lust, infatuation, guilt, anger, all blended together and indistinguishable from one another. How beautiful a vision you had made then—such a pretty, luscious thing, flushed cheeks and half-lidded eyes glinting with coquettish longing. The more he finds himself caring, the more he hates you for it; the more his hatred for you grows, the more he wants you by his side. Choosing to manipulate you into a tactical alliance was the culmination of careful and meticulous deliberation—at once deadly and most pleasing to the eye, yet seemingly unaware of either fact; a naive, kind fool, lost and alone, his perfect target from every angle, you were the obvious candidate. He had no way of knowing at the time—how you would unwittingly beat him at his own game and steal your way into his undead heart, without even really trying. 
While pumping his now glistening cock, your precious face is all Astarion can think of, every detail of it perpetually burned onto his retinas—long, thick lashes, curtaining doe-like eyes; sweet little freckles speckling the bridge of your nose; smooth skin and plump rosy lips, so soft and kissable. And your scent, oh, your scent—delicious and intoxicating, such a lovely, delectable bouquet. Although now warm, his hand could never compare to the feeling of your slickened walls clenching and fluttering around him, and no amount of pressure would ever be able to replicate the sensation of stretching them open, coaxing yelps and cute whiny pants out of you with each nudge of your cervix. He wonders for a moment what other expressions he has yet to witness you make; in what other manners he has yet to take you, in what other positions he has yet to watch you come undone. Maybe on all fours, that round ass of yours sticking out so very invitingly, begging to be devoured; maybe on your knees, darkened lips wrapped tightly around his cock, eyes watering and drool dripping down onto the swollen peaks of your perky breasts as you accommodate all of him like the good girl you are. Each idea is more enticing than the one before, and the very thought of acquainting himself with all the ins and outs of your body makes him feel alive, bulging veins and tumid cockhead pulsating madly against his sweaty palm as he goes over the endless possibilities. He had tasted you once; now, he craves every inch of your being, his hunger insatiable. 
“Mine…” he growls possessively, picturing your tits bouncing and the rouged knot atop your dripping core throbbing for him as he feels his climax draw nearer, rubbing the cloth sullied with your crimson against his nose, your taste still fresh in his mouth and a trail of red running down his chin. You are not his, not yet, but although he curses himself for it, he would bring his simple plan to fruition, for all the wrong reasons; he wants you, he needs you—his own little bundle of joy, his light in the darkness, his glimmer of solace, his, his, his, and his alone. He won’t share your kindness, not with your companions, not with anyone, and he cares not if his greediness makes him unworthy, for he never deserved any of it in the first place; regardless, you’d still extend a hand to the wretch who put a knife to your throat, toyed with your emotions and sucked you dry, in more ways than one. You may not realize it, but in sharing your life essence with him, you breathed color into his world, roused within his soul a vital spark he’d long forgotten had once ever been there. He may not be entitled to it, but he’d still have it all—he’d still have you, to the bone and beyond.
“Oh, gods…” With one last stroke, Astarion empties himself on his hand and stomach, legs convulsing and hips stuttering, letting go of the cloth to then nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck, lips pressed against the bloodied gashes maculating your otherwise flawless skin. The inside of his pants is now covered in come, yet even as the thick fluid runs uncomfortably down his thighs, he feels strangely at peace—happy, even. His softening cock twitches and jerks still, but fearing that his luck may soon run out, he lets go of it and wipes his fingers on the hem of his shirt, which he learns is also stained with his seed; once they’re sufficiently clean, he wraps both of his arms around your waist in a tight embrace, focusing on the gentle raising of your chest as you inhale ever so softly, finally at rest. 
“This is a gift, you know.”
He won’t forget it. Regardless of what may lie ahead, he won’t. Warm flesh, beating heart; as your crimson courses through his veins, the thread of life now connects you both, your fates forever intertwined. When morning comes, all will be back to normal, but for now, he shall hold you, cradle you, as he would a lover. A true lover—though what would that be, if not prey that wakes by his side once the dawn breaks? Disturbing as that thought may be, it is of little import for now; basking in the clarity of death, he allows himself a moment of reprieve, for your time together is far from over. What treasures will the future bestow? Why—finding out is but a matter of waiting.
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