#it basically triggers the entire goddamn fandom that IS aware of this bullshit and i Get That Now

[variablejabberwocky]

...i have learned more about the batman canon/dc universe against my will and i think i get it now

i think i get why everyone is angry

because right now?

right now i'm furious

[xerantic]

Here’s the thing.

// Generally when drama occurs, I tend to only see the backlash. Like, usually for whatever reason, I’m not following the person who causes whatever ‘issue’? So I’m not able to judge for myself who is right or wrong, or even entirely what happened. And I kind of don’t even want to know, because I’m afraid the issue won’t really be that bad, and the community is just going on another morality crusade, twisting intentions and thinking with their fault-finding brains instead of using rationality and tolerance? Like, community-wide drama really upsets me and makes me feel unsafe and unable to trust. I see everybody just vaguely discoursing ‘problematic’ issues, arguing amongst themselves, claiming to be blocking people, forcing people to think they have to grovel to the rest of the community, and generally just spreading the hysteria with reaction posts.

I’m trying to paint a picture here, of why this is fucking toxic. Because last night, I literally had to drop everything I was doing and put myself to bed before I did anything worse to myself. I hesitate to ever use the word “trigger” because of the misunderstanding between the two definitions--one being specifically PTSD symptoms (with which I am not diagnosed) and the other more broadly meaning “something that produces an extreme involuntary psychological/emotional response”. But experiencing drama/discourse is definitely the latter definition for me. Like, feeling so upset/agitated/isolated that I want to hurt myself or die is pretty extreme.

I have this crippling fear of social isolation (sometimes to the point of paranoia), particularly in the forms of rejection, abandonment, and people suddenly turning everybody against me, framing every disagreement in opinion as a moral issue and condemning me for what I think and how I am (except portrayed in a twisted and negatively biased view) (basically all of toxic tumblr culture). And maybe it is something PTSD-like, because this has actually happened to me a significant number of times, being gaslit the hell out of by unstable or just plain cruel people, feeling so surrounded by hostility that I have the urge to resort to some self-destructive escape. It makes it really hard to trust anybody not to screw me over or prey on my vulnerabilities, and I feel I have to walk on eggshells all the time just to be accepted. So I hope you can imagine what it’s like seeing my dash covered in this kind of bullshit.

True enough, my mental health issues are foremost my own responsibility. But I hope this will help some people understand why contributing to drama and discourse can be so harmful to some of us in the community? I don’t want to have to choose between cutting off my passion for RP/fandom and trying really hard to go back to sleep when I can’t sleep any more because I don’t want to get up to face being alive. I just want to portray my muse in a way that satisfies me, express my perceptions and theories on characters/events, and hopefully bond with others over such.

Consider putting your stance on broadcasting discourse in your blog rules, so people can be aware and refrain from following if they see necessary? (I try to examine others’ rules closely for judgmental language, because I feel it says a lot about a person’s character and potential behavior.) At the very least, I staunchly request that you tag your goddamn discourse, drama, and negativity. Like, even little things? Social justice? “Should’s” and “shouldn’t’s”? Like, I get that you find whatever issue you’re talking about important, but tag it. It can be triggering. Help people be able to participate while still keeping themselves safe and sane.

And maybe consider unfollowing somebody instead of going on a witch hunt or broadcasting your condemnation to the world? I sure as heck unfollowed a boatload of people today and last night, because holy hell I cannot stand morally judgmental language/behavior or people that empower that kind of interaction. But just think about it--how nice would the community be if people were mostly chill and let others do their own thing regardless of their own opinion on it? It’s happened before in other fandoms, and I can tell you it’s pretty lovely, actually. Let’s try it for this one, perhaps.