#this is like the fictional version of Never Meet Your Heroes/ Favorite Celebrities

[variablejabberwocky]

...i have learned more about the batman canon/dc universe against my will and i think i get it now

i think i get why everyone is angry

because right now?

right now i'm furious

[epicstuckyficrecs]

2020 Half-year fic rec for Steve Rogers’ birthday!

I made a poll on Twitter to know if people would be interested in me doing a half-year “best of” fic rec like I did last year , and the response was overwhelmingly positive, so here it is! 😊 These are my favorite fics of the year so far! (in no particular order)

Complete

Two Colors, White and Gold by Carelica (Canon-Divergent | 36K | Explicit): He’s here, he’s alive. His hand is on a tree.

Deep Sea Diving by AidaRonan/ @bisexualstarbucky​ (Shrunkyclunks | 5,4K | Explicit): Steve’s wallowing in heat-related misery under a shade tree in Central Park when a man walks by in bright red booty shorts and a crop top. RIP Steve Rogers. It was nice knowing you.

Some things you do for money by pushdragon (BDSM AU | 72K | Explicit): Steve’s wholesome take on domination has suddenly become the hottest thing in the business. He should be cashing in on his newfound celebrity, but instead he’s distracted by the guy who works odd shifts in the club’s bar, fresh out of prison and damaged in ways that don’t show.

the hand you want to hold is a weapon (and you’re nothing but skin) by voxofthevoid/ @voxofthevoid​ (Post-WS, Sex Pollen | 13K | Explicit): Steve gets sex-pollened. He handles it just fine, and then Bucky shows up.

Dear Mr. Postman by odetteandodile (Modern AU | 52K | Teen): “I’m um—your mailman,” Bucky says, lamely. Or—Steve and Bucky revive an old friendship, get married (but totally just as friends, for reasons), and navigate a few of the many trials of the heart that come with falling in love with your best friend. 

good on my own (needed me) by mcwho (Modern AU | 12K | Explicit): There are some mistakes that could be made by anybody. Anybody. Bucky taught high school pretty much his whole life, and that was fine, those were kids, and he knew all of them anyway, which meant there was very little chance of him accidentally fucking any of his students during an impulsive post-marital-breakdown Grindr hook-up. Which is exactly what he had done with Steve.or: bucky has not let steve rogers fuck him since his sophomore year (Part 1 of himbo-verse)

Latte Art and Slow Dancing in the Dark by deadonarrival (Modern AU with powers, Daddy kink | 89K | Explicit): Bucky is a somewhat well-adjusted former army sniper that got his shoulder blown out. He took his discharge and went home to finish school. His best friends and roommates (Nat & Clint) are CIA agents and tip him off that their local Sbux is hiring. He gets a job there and meets none other than the hottest guy on earth. So how does one get a date in the most top secret government location in the US? What happens when that guy is more than just a hot dorito and wants to give Bucky everything he wants? 

That Boy Is a Problem by 2bestfriends  (Modern AU | 10K | Explicit): In which a twinky little goth punk named Bucky puts a leash around Steve’s dick and he’s really into it. (The leash is a metaphor. For now.)

bullet in a gun (but in the end, my time will come) by voxofthevoid/ @voxofthevoid​ (Post-Endgame, Canon-divergent | 25K | Explicit): Post-Thanos, Bucky Barnes has happily settled into a life of peace and pining. That’s when alternate versions of the best friend he’s secretly in love with start showing up.

Like it’s the Only Thing I’ll Ever Do by howdoyousleep/ @howdoyousleep3​ (ABO AU | 39K | Explicit): When Steve opens the door, Bucky feels like he’s been living in clouds for the past few days, maybe even his entire life. Steve is life, Steve is happiness, Steve is the sun. He has such a visceral reaction to seeing the Alpha that he feels his knees go weak, feels his body draw tight towards the other man, pulled in. Or big Alpha Steve moves into sweet little Omega Bucky’s apartment building and a roller-coaster build of a romance ensues.

A Company Man by mambo/ @whtaft (Modern AU | 75K | Explicit): No matter what it is, the truth is the same: Steve Rogers is in love with Bucky Barnes, a married man.

How to Fuck With (and Feed) Your Soulmate by BlueSimplicity/ @bluesimplicity73​ (Soulmate AU, Shrunkyclunks | 114K | Explicit): It’s called the Grey Space; a patch of skin marking you as blessed and the first sign you have a soulmate. Steve Rogers didn’t have one when he crashed into the ice. But he did when he woke up in the future. The second sign is the Sense, a sharing of one the senses to help soulmates find each other. Steve’s Sense, taste, is rare, but he loves a challenge and a soulmate is a gift from the Fates. Except instead of a blessing, it’s a curse, since his soulmate is a dick. Bucky Barnes loves food and a homecooked meal is something he cherishes. When his Grey Space starts to itch, Bucky can’t help his excitement, since the Sense he and his soulmate share is taste. But not for long. Whoever he’s bound to has the blandest diet in the world, ignoring all Bucky’s messages. After weeks of putting up with tasteless food, Bucky decides to strike back.

Strangers in the Street by crinklefries/ @spacerenegades (Canon divergent | 15K | Teen): Every five years, Bucky meets the same tall, blond stranger.

Departure by Nejinee/ @nejineeee (Arrival AU | 80K | Mature): Captain America is recruited by the U.S. government to assist a linguist and her team of scientists in communicating with aliens after twelve mysterious space ships appear across the globe overnight.

Compatible - A Romantic Science Fiction Thriller in Four Parts by the1918/ @the1918​ (Shrunkyclunks, ABO AU | 33K | Explicit): When young nanotech engineer Bucky Barnes finds himself falling head first in love with none other than Steve Rogers, he ends up getting a lot more of the Alpha than he– or science– could ever have imagined possible.

WIP

four dreams in a row where you were burned by voxofthevoid/ @voxofthevoid (canon divergent, post-Endgame, 1945 alternate timeline | 10/? | 58K | Mature): When Steve uses the last of his Pym Particles to travel to 1944 and save his best friend, he doesn’t have a plan beyond leaving behind the battlefield and living his life alongside the people he loves. But the life that finds him is not the one he expects.

A Matter of Trust by chicklette/ @chicklette​ (Singer Bucky, Fake relationship | 7/13 | 26K | Explicit): At 43, James Barnes is a washed up old man. He’s got a dozen Grammys in the hall closet, an agent that can’t get him a deal, a decade-old case of writer’s block, a moody teen-aged daughter, and the gorgeous actress Natasha Romanova for an ex-wife. Enter Steven Grant Rogers, struggling twenty-something, orphan, and someone who has no idea who Barnes is. The two men meet by accident, doing nothing more than passing the time in a quiet bar. But when a pap gets a shot of the two men embracing, Bucky takes it as a chance to finally come out as bisexual, and his agent makes him a proposition: Ten new songs and one very sweet boyfriend will get him a new record deal that will maybe, just maybe put him back on top. Now all he has to do is write the songs, convince the kid, and not fall in love. Should be easy, right?

Bespoke by the1918/ @the1918​ (Shrunkyclunks, ABO AU | 6/10 | 61K | Explicit): “I love you, too. So fucking much,” Steve answered. His voice sounded cracked and exhausted, an exposed nerve ending in the shape of a man. “Some days I still don’t believe you’re real. Feels— feels like somehow, I’ve always loved you. Even when I didn’t know you.” Bucky smiled softly at that and felt his heart threaten to explode. Still straddling his lap, he reached a hand up to cup Steve’s cheek. “You’ve always known me,” he stated, simply. “I was made for you, remember?” (Part 2 of Compatible)

Series

couldn't get the boy to kill me by voxofthevoid/ @voxofthevoid (Shrunkyclunks, SHIELD Agent Bucky | 12 works, complete | 74K | Explicit): Captain America and the Winter Soldier are a terrifying duo on the field, working together with a well-oiled precision that tears through their enemies. Captain Rogers and Agent Barnes are distant coworkers, all polite nods and mission briefings. Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes are fire and gasoline; it never ends well.

the hero's shoulders by voxofthevoid/ @voxofthevoid (Shrunkyclunks, Post-CW, canon divergent | 3 works, not complete | 32K | Explicit): Sequel series to couldn't get the boy to kill me

~

Honorable mention for Where The Interstate Ends by paperstorm/ @paper-storm​ because it was posted last year but I only read it recently!

[avani008]

Dear Yuletide Author 2021!

Here are some things I think are rad: snark. friendships. sneaky twisty endings. stories with bite. characters with personalities. stories that make their writers happy. mythology. humor. stories that dig into and expand on the canon, whether that’s backstory or minor characters or worldbuilding. brown paper packages tied up with string.

Stuff I’m not so keen on: rape, incest, mentions of RL pandemics/quarantines? more into het and femslash than slash.

Fandoms Requested: Devil’s Cub- Georgette Heyer, Kandukondain Kandukondain...(2000), Mystic Pop-Up-Bar

First of all, I’ve repeated requests, despite being lucky enough to receive AMAZING fic for them in the past; but they are all still Yuletide-sized, and greedily I still want more. 

Fandom 1: Devil’s Cub

Characters Requested: Mary Challoner, Dominic Alastair

Where to Find Source Material: your local library or bookstore!

Problematic as this book is, I read it at an impressionable age, and so can’t help but have a reluctant soft spot Mary/Dominic—but mostly Mary Challoner and the wit and sparkle of Heyer’s prose. Not to mention Mary’s snark and competence, and Dominic’s grouchiness paired with his utter adoration of Mary, or everything about the utter farce that leads up to the climax in Dijon, or—like pretty much every reader of this book ever— that one scene where Mary shoots him. Give me more of their  delicious dynamic, and I will be over the moon! Requesting this fandom has produced incredible stories in the past,  but what is Yuletide for than coveting MORE CAKES in teeny fandoms?

 Consider:

* Dominic and Mary meeting the first few times, Sophia included with Mary (I’m sure) crankily falling for him while Dominic remains oblivious (or does he?)!

*A tropey AU (or multiple in one fic), whether social media/fandom-based, daemon AU, or any other fusions you enjoy!

* Finally, this is completely optional, but I’ve had this prompt rattling around my brain since I created this graphic—I would love a racebent version of Mary and Vidal, whether that means they’re Indian immigrants who’ve settled in Victorian Britain, or transplanted into the intrigues of the Mughal court, or whether involvement in the Quit India movement, or lack thereof, is an additional tension in their relationship!

~~~

Fandom 4: Kandukondain Kandukondain....

Characters: Any

Where To Find Source: Available HERE to watch on Youtube for free! With English subtitles! How can you resist?(Yes, the first few minutes are a weird war scene that never comes up again. Presumably this is so the men in the audience wouldn’t run out screaming *rolls eyes*)

This movie is such comfort-film fuel, with characters who are genuinely kind, clever, and funny. I also love how the original JA characters and plot and transplanted so cleverly, with clear love for the original source, but more importantly, that captures Austen’s talent for satire. I laughed out loud at the film industry parody, and the other small town scenes (the cat wedding at the beginning! what a delightful detail)

*Soumya and Manohar, after. I love gentle, established relationships in fiction–and the contrast between Manohar’s flashy film background and Soumya’s snark and steady competence is great. What are they doing in 2021 (though in keeping with my DNW, I’d prefer this to be a parallel 2021 minus mentions of the many RL things, pandemic and politics-related, that have made the last few years so dreadful)? How were the years in between?

* Kamala (who wants to grow up and marry C.V.Raman! My favorite version of Margaret Dashwood!) futurefic? What amazing future does she have? How are her relationships with her sisters/brothers-in-law?

* A crossover with any other Austen couple, similarly transported to this setting? Or, if you want to work this into Kamala and Nandini Varma-centric fic, that would be superb!

*Or, if you just want to celebrate and tell me the filmography/backstory/general awesomeness of Nandini Varma, LADY SUPERSTAR, ACTION HERO, be my guest!

___

Fandom 3: Mystic Pop-Up Bar

Characters: Weol-joo, Gwibanjang | Yi Hon

Where to Find Source: Netflix

This was a delightful canon to find during a stressful time, and the honest sweetness of the main leads always brought a smile to my face. I have been lucky enough to get amazing fics for this in the past, and have loved them every time, so please know I will be delighted with pretty much anything. SPOILER warning from now on, just to explain what I enjoyed the most about canon–

–but I really adored Weol-jo and the Crown Prince’s romance above all else. 500 years of pining, secret identities/identity porn, and bonus bickering friends turned lovers the second time around made for everything I wanted, especially with a fantasy twist. The story was always Weol-joo’s, in all her prickly glory, and Gwi was–in his own words–only there to help her. I also really, really loved that despite their shared sense of humor, Weol-joo and Gwi are both extraordinarily competent and good at their jobs, and canon goes out of its way to emphasize that. Yes, they might bicker about nonsense –and my reading of the situation is that most of this is being intentionally facetious, both to be underestimated and because it appeals to their shared sense of humor. So some prompts, to be combined as you wish:

* More about how Yi Hon and Weol-joo met and fell in love! If I understood the prologue correctly, they both entered Yi Hon’s dreamworld to put down multiple angry ghosts, with a vendetta against the royal family, and I’d love to see how this played into the start of their romance. For one, their feelings–shallow as they initially seem–were strong enough to last half a millenium, and so must have been born in adventure and magic; for another, as demure as young Weol-joo was, I refuse to believe her usual snark didn’t show its head as she got to know the Crown Prince.

* Chief Gwi’s first eleven months as Weol-joo’s manager, complete with silent pining and unknowing painful jabs on the part of an oblivious Weol-joo, and how exactly Gwi manages to break through Weol-joo’s shell so effectively by the time we meet them. (Potentially the answer to that might be an impetuous, desperate hookup Weol-joo at least is going to pretend never happened.)There is such potential for adventures and plotfic we missed, and I’d love to see that too!

* Finally, if you want to write post-canon casefic, what about another grudge that the family settles (along with getting accustomed to be an actual family)–potentially something where the reincarnation of Won-hyung’s sister (she was jilted by her childhood friend and orphaned by the same man on her wedding day; and we saw everyone else who was affected by the tragedy leading into Weol-joo’s death, except her) appears, either for revenge or to have closure; or–and this could play into the previous prompt too!–any ghost/grudge-holder who forces the trio to explore either his parents’ past lives or a canon-divergence AU where Weol-joo and the Crown Prince never died, and Kang-bae was born to them, either as a royal prince, or as their child in hiding? (Of note, if you go with this one, I love Weo-rin to bits, and I’d love to see her get to discover her boyfriend’s big secret at last!)

I hope at least some of these help, Mystery Author! Thank you in advance and have a wonderful Yuletide yourself:D

[theonyxpath]

In honor of his birthday being celebrated today in the US, we can now reveal that the first US President, George Washington, was a feared foe of the supernatural!

When they said that he “had wooden teeth”, that wasn’t literal. It was a code and a metaphor for how many vampires he had impaled with sharpened wooden weapons. We’re still working on what is meant when he’s said to be “made of radiation”.

Actually, I have no idea if George shows up in Hunter: The Vigil 2nd Edition – but I do know that HtV2e‘s Kickstarter campaign is well over 200% funded and moving right along.

Thanks to everybody who has backed so far, and we really appreciate your thoughtful comments! The KS Comments page has been filled with cool ideas for Hunter games, as has our Forums here at Onyx Path central. Keep those comments coming, folks! I know that developer Monica Valentinelli has been keeping notes for her final dev pass.

No promises that she can or will tweak anything before layout, but I’m sure that once we get the Backer PDF out, she’ll look at those notes as well as errata from backers.

Which reminds me to remind you about a few things with our Kickstarters!

NH: Nameless and Accursed art by Tilen Javornik

First, and this applies to our Advance PDFs like the recently released Night Horrors: Spilled Blood for Vampire: The Requiem 2e as well, we include a link to an errata sheet specifically because we want to catch layout glitches, terminology misuse, confusing or contradictory setting or rules info, missing info (especially when the text might be bringing an element of one edition into the newest edition), and more.

So, since we’re looking for those sorts of things, it’d be really helpful if folks chose to send us the things that don’t quite add up via the errata link. Because the Advance PDF, the Backer PDF, and the Kickstarter Preview Text, are not the unalterable text you might once have purchased as a book in a store. Although, if nobody sends us errata about a problem, and we don’t independently catch it, it will soon be locked into final book form – that’s why I ask.

Another thing about our Kickstarters, is that we are aiming for our next one to be for our new Legendlore TTRPG game book. More on that in the next couple of weeks as we head towards that KS.

Here’s a reminder for folks who need help with their Kickstarters: Jazzy James Bell is the guy to talk to for all your Kickstarter needs. He has been running them since Cavaliers of Mars‘ KS several years ago. And if you do use the Contact link on one of our Kickstarters, that message goes to James. I know my name is still on half the KSs we do, but that’s because our original account was in my name.

When I set it up, I wasn’t even sure I could just use Onyx Path as the KS Creator. It was that long ago! So now, today, we have a Rich Thomas KS account and an Onyx Path KS account. Which means that James can set up a KS on one account while the other has a KS running on it. This is very helpful for us in terms of avoiding massive downtime between KSs.

Because everybody has an idea of what new Kickstarter campaigns we should run for their favorite games. We can’t (and won’t) be able to have every project folks want a KS for, but we can time out the ones we are doing more efficiently.

Which might mean we get one more run that we normally would have in a year, but which absolutely means that James (and all our crew, but James in particular) has the time and isn’t too exhausted to run them!

V5 Chicago By Night art by Amy Wilkins

What Happens After All These Kickstarters?

Thank you for asking! We have a perfect example right now with V5 Chicago By Night having shipped out to backers last month. This week, Chicago is live in stores and with that happening, we’ll be releasing the PDF/PoD versions on DTRPG this Wednesday!

Let me break that down: The Kickstarter backers received their backer reward copies of the V5 Chicago By Night traditionally printed hardcovers. Meanwhile, our two sales partners, Studio2 in the US, and Modiphius for everywhere else, solicited the game distributors and retailers.

This week, the stores who ordered during that solicitation have or are getting their books so they can sell them in their stores. Also, on Wednesday, we open the PDF and physical book PoD versions up for purchase on DTRPG. So, at that point, you can get the traditionally printed version from stores, including online ordering from our friends at Indie Press Revolution, and if you prefer, the PDF and PoD versions can be ordered from DTRPG.

All those venues are so that our community can get their avid hands on this absolutely superb V5 version of Chicago By Night (in a lot of ways it best shows how the ideas in the first three core books can be concretely utilized around your table) in the version you most prefer for your enjoyment. And believe me, there is a lot to enjoy in this book!

As you can tell, it’s kind of a big thing for us.

Distant Worlds art by Gunship Revolution

Tell Me About This Blog!

Finally, it’s my bi-annual request for feedback on this blog itself. What feature do you always read? Which one do you skip past every week?

It’s OK to say you skip all of my actual blog each week. Really. I’ll just be in the corner, sobbing.

Although actually, if you do skip it each week, then you won’t notice this request for feedback, so I’m in the clear!

But, if you can, please do be honest in your thoughts on what is working, or not, here on the blog. I’ve got some ideas for changes, but I don’t want to take anything away from you, our loyal readers, that a lot of you are actually enjoying, but I’m not hearing about

That way, we can be sure you’re getting the info you need to explore our:

Many Worlds, One Path!

BLURBS!

Kickstarter!

Hunter: The Vigil 2nd Edition for Chronicles of Darkness is still ferociously on the hunt! We funded and are shooting right through Stretch Goals, like the Storyteller Screen Stretch Goal and the Tending the Flame: Cells chapter for the Hunter Players’ Companion! With lots more to come!

Onyx Path Media!

This Friday’s Onyx Pathcast features an interview with writer and creator Josh Heath. Josh is writing for Onyx Path, and is also putting up all kinds of projects on our Community Content sites like Storypath Nexus and Pugmire‘s Canis Minor, and other sites! As always this Friday’s Onyx Pathcast will be on Podbean or your favorite podcast venue! https://onyxpathcast.podbean.com/

Another jam-packed schedule for you on Twitch this week! You can look forward to Vampire: The Masquerade, Chronicles of Darkness, Scion, Pugmire, two fantastic, new chronicles of Hunter: The Vigil 2nd Edition, MORE Vampire: The Masquerade, Changeling: The Lost, Changeling: The Dreaming, Mage: The Awakening, Scarred Lands, Werewolf: The Forsaken and a third Vampire: The Masquerade game!

Our Twitch stream has never had so much content.

A special shout-out to both of the Hunter: The Vigil games running this week, which along with the Kickstarter are drawing quite an audience! You can subscribe to our channel over on twitch.tv/theonyxpath to catch up with any episodes you missed!

Come take a look at our YouTube channel, youtube.com/user/theonyxpath, where you can find the following videos uploaded last week alone:

Hunter: The Vigil Hometown Heroes: https://youtu.be/8dqdt6sy6Ws

Eddy Webb’s Workshop: Dystopia Rising Evolution Development: https://youtu.be/Aj6MRIUQ5Fo

Blood City: Chicago by Night: https://youtu.be/UVHhO-3W7sA

Scion: Behind the Screen: https://youtu.be/AGhw0vOPK-c

Pugmire: Paws & Claws: https://youtu.be/rRTCT1O680U

A special shout-out to the Blood City crew who have been running a fantastic Vampire: The Masquerade chronicle using V5 Chicago by Night. Do check out their chronicle on our YouTube channel!

In case you missed it last week, Ekorren gives us a fantastic deep dive into the Trinity Continuum here in this excellent video: https://youtu.be/Vk0UJbWijtg

More new Occultists Anonymous for all you Mage: The Awakening fans out there:

Episode 80: Collected Thoughts  With Songbird recovered from his ordeal with a vampire, the cabal reconvene at the Rookery Sanctum and journey into the Temenos. They search tour through Pottery and Art and… Valhalla?! https://youtu.be/vImtFvc6NPw

Episode 81: Mirror Match  The cabal continues their travels in the Temenos searching for symbols of Wyrd, and since they’re there, maybe a few trophies of their own…  https://youtu.be/bBVbV9nmd3o

Red Moon Roleplaying continue their actual play of V5 Cults of the Blood Gods, on their YouTube channel, Spotify, their website redmoonroleplaying.com and everywhere else good podcasts might be found! https://youtu.be/hCM3aKucS7s

The Story Told Podcast are on the second episode of their excellent Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition – The 78 Laments – game right here:  http://thestorytold.libsyn.com/the-78-laments-episode-2

Please check any of these out and let us know if you find or produce any actual plays of our games!

Electronic Gaming!

As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is awesome! (Seriously, you need to roll 100 dice for Exalted? This app has you covered.)

On Amazon and Barnes & Noble!

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue from which you bought it. Reviews really, really help us get folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these latest fiction books:

Our Sales Partners!

We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire and Monarchies of Mau out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there! https://studio2publishing.com/search?q=pugmire

We’ve added Prince’s Gambit to our Studio2 catalog: https://studio2publishing.com/products/prince-s-gambit-card-game

Now, we’ve added Changeling: The Lost 2nd Edition products to Studio2‘s store! See them here: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/all-products/changeling-the-lost

Scarred Lands (Pathfinder) books are also on sale at Studio2, and they have the 5e version, supplements, and dice as well!: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/scarred-lands

Scion 2e books and other products are available now at Studio2: https://studio2publishing.com/blogs/new-releases/scion-second-edition-book-one-origin-now-available-at-your-local-retailer-or-online

Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

And you can order Pugmire, Monarchies of Mau, Cavaliers of Mars, and Changeling: The Lost 2e at the same link! And NOW Scion Origin and Scion Hero AND Trinity Continuum Core and Trinity Continuum: Aeon are available to order!

As always, you can find Onyx Path’s titles at DriveThruRPG.com!

On Sale This Week!

This Wednesday, we will be releasing the PDF and physical book PoD versions of V5 Chicago By Night on DTRPG!

Accept no substitutes: Chicago is the city of vampires.

Claim a haven on the Gold Coast. Carve a place of this bustling metropolis for yourself.

Subjugate a handful of the living on Michigan Avenue. Take a few deep drinks from some of the intoxicating vessels we have around here. 

Discover the nightlife. Come visit the Succubus Club, the Blue Velvet, or Red Noº 5, if they’ll let you in. The guest list is pretty damn exclusive.

Introduce yourself to the Ventrue Prince. Get to know his vision. Buy into it. Serve it. Stay on his good side and your immortality is going to be just fine.

Just ignore the purges of Anarchs, Thin-Bloods, and fledglings when it grows inconvenient, yeah? Stay invested in the Camarilla and it’ll stay invested in you. Remember who’s got your back and who can take that backing away in the blink of an undead eye. 

Chicago can be everything for a vampire like you.

You just have to accept Chicago into your heart. Become a part of the city.

Chicago by Night includes:

A history of Chicago from multiple vampire perspectives and accounts of the domain as it exists in the modern nights, along with systems for how to run this city like the twisted, dysfunctional machine it is

An introduction for the Clan of Night’s entry to the Camarilla and rules for playing Lasombra in Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition, including their Discipline of Oblivion.

Over 50 individual Kindred with biographies, ambitions, secrets, relationships, and reasons for inclusion in any given chronicle, along with fiction illustrating these characters and key locations around the city.

A multitude of chronicle hooks covering everything from the Beast and the Hunger to Humanity and Hierarchy, and a single large chronicle in which the Lasombra make it their mission to join the elite ranks of the Camarilla.

Coteries illustrating the factionalism of Chicago’s Kindred and new coterie examples for your characters.

Loresheets for characters new to or already based in Chicago, providing players easy ways to integrate their characters into the book’s many stories.

Conventions!

More conventions will be listed for 2020 in the weeks to come-

And now, the new project status updates!

DEVELOPMENT STATUS FROM EDDY WEBB (projects in bold have changed status since last week):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep)

Exalted Essay Collection (Exalted)

N!ternational Wrestling Entertainment (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Contagion Chronicle Ready-Made Characters (Chronicles of Darkness)

RUST (Working Title) (Scarred Lands)

Under Alien Suns (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Mission Statements (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Adversaries of the Righteous (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Novas Worldwide (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Exalted Essence Edition (Exalted 3rd Edition)

The Clades Companion (Deviant: The Renegades)

The Devoted Companion (Deviant: The Renegades)

Saints and Monsters (Scion 2nd Edition)

Redlines

Kith and Kin (Changeling: The Lost 2e)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #2 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Hundred Devil’s Night Parade (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Trinity Continuum: Adventure! core (Trinity Continuum: Adventure!)

TC: Aberrant Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

They Came From Beyond the Grave! (They Came From!)

Second Draft

M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Exigents (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Crucible of Legends (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Many-Faced Strangers – Lunars Companion (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Duke Rollo fiction (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Development

Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

TC: Aberrant Reference Screen (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Scion: Demigod (Scion 2nd Edition)

Across the Eight Directions (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Contagion Chronicle: Global Outbreaks (Chronicles of Darkness)

Manuscript Approval

Scion: Dragon (Scion 2nd Edition)

Masks of the Mythos (Scion 2nd Edition)

Trinity Continuum Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum Core)

Contagion Chronicle Jumpstart (Chronicles of Darkness)

Post-Approval Development

Scion LARP Rules (Scion)

One Foot in the Grave Jumpstart (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2e)

Player’s Guide to the Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)

Editing

Geist 2e Fiction Anthology (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #1 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Legendlore core book (Legendlore)

Mythical Denizens (Creatures of the World Bestiary) (Scion 2nd Edition)

Pirates of Pugmire KS-Added Adventure (Realms of Pugmire)

Terra Firma (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)

Lunars Novella (Rosenberg) (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Buried Bones: Creating in the Realms of Pugmire (Realms of Pugmire)

Monsters of the Deep (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Tales of Aquatic Terror (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition core rulebook (Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition)

Titanomachy (Scion 2nd Edition)

Post-Editing Development

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

W20 Shattered Dreams Gift Cards (Werewolf: The Apocalypse 20th)

Scion Companion: Mysteries of the World (Scion 2nd Edition)

Cults of the Blood Gods (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Hunter: The Vigil 2e core (Hunter: The Vigil 2nd Edition)

Let the Streets Run Red (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

M20 The Technocracy Reloaded (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

WoD Ghost Hunters (World of Darkness)

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant core (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Indexing

ART DIRECTION FROM MIKE CHANEY!

In Art Direction

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant

Hunter: The Vigil 2e (KS) – Running on KS.

Ex3 Lunars

Cults of the Blood God (KS)

Mummy 2 (KS)

City of the Towered Tombs – Recontracted.

Let the Streets Run Red – Contracted.

CtL Oak Ash and Thorn – Finals coming in this week.

Deviant

Legendlore (KS) – All notes out by today for KS.

Technocracy Reloaded (KS)

Scion Companion – Contacted.

TC: Aeon Terra Firma – Contracted.

WoD: Ghost Stories (KS) – Cover contracted.

Tales of Aquatic Terror

Pirates Extra Adventure – Contracted.

In Layout

Yugman’s Guide to Ghelspad – Ongoing.

Scion Mythical Denizens – In proofing but need some full page art to come in.

Contagion Chronicle – With Josh.

Vigil Watch – Art finals coming in today.

TCfBtS!: Heroic Land Dwellers

Night Horrors: Nameless and Accursed – Waiting for cover art, then to proofing.

TCFBtS! Screen and Booklet

Proofing

Dark Eras 2 – Errata being annotated and then back to Aileen.

Trinity Continuum Aeon Jumpstart

They Came from Beneath the Sea! – Off for pageXXing.

Chicago Folio – Out to backers for errata.

Trinity Continuum Aeon: Distant Worlds – Notes back from dev.

Pirates of Pugmire – Gotta go over this today.

At Press

V5: Chicago – PDF and PoD versions on sale at DTRPG this Wednesday!

Geist 2e (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition) – Shipping to backers, PoD files uploaded.

Geist 2e Screen – Shipping to backers.

DR:E – At fulfillment shippers, PoD files uploaded.

DRE Screen – At fulfillment shippers.

DR:E Threat Guide – Helnau’s Guide to Wasteland Beasties

Memento Mori – PoD proof ordered.

Trinity Continuum: Aeon RMCs – PoD proof ordered.

Wraith20 Anthology – PoD proof ordered.

Today’s Reason to Celebrate!

Long time readers of this MMN Blog may note that a lot of Reasons to Celebrate are focused on national US holidays. Which in the US are celebrated on Mondays, due to the Uniform Monday Holiday Act which was put into effect so we in the US could have more official three-day weekends, and our weekly staff meeting that leads into this blog is also on Monday. Today is President’s Day. Or Presidents’ Day. Or George Washington’s Birthday. So, with all due respect to our first president, and according to folklore the man who refused to be king, this is a weird one:

Even though George Washington’s birthday was February 22nd, the day is officially celebrated on the third Monday in February.

Even though Presidents’ Day is a federal holiday, each state is free to call it what they choose and how to celebrate.

Washington’s Birthday can never occur on the public holiday. Under the Gregorian calendar Washington’s Birthday was 22 February, but the holiday is observed on the third Monday in February, which cannot occur any later than February 21.

Like I said, weird. But that in and of itself is Reason to Celebrate! Let’s hear it for a bit of weird in the midst of everything else we deal with!

[searchingwardrobes]

Natural Opposite: Re-post of 2/16

Many thanks to my beta, @distant-rose, as well as my artist @optomisticgirl. You can check out her chapter art here: Chapter Two I love the way she captured the craziness of Comic-Con when our OTP first meet!

Summary: Dance is more than Emma Swan’s career; it’s practically saved her life on more than one occasion. But when it comes to reality TV shows, she’s always danced in the shadows of her twin brother David and her sister Elsa. Her first season as a pro on Dancing With the Stars was a disaster, and she enters her second season determined to prove herself. All she needs is a good partner. Hollywood bad boy and ladies’ man Killian Jones isn’t what she had in mind.

Rating: M for mature themes, steamy dance routines, and sexy times (But NOT smut)

Trigger warnings: discussions of online solicitation of a minor, bullying, statutory rape, and emotionally abusive/controlling relationships; stalking; anti-Rumbelle, anti-Neal

Can also be read on Ao3

Tagging: (let me know if you want to be added to my tag list) @snowbellewells @kmomof4 @jennjenn615 @kday426 @bethacaciakay @teamhook @whimsicallyenchantedrose @snidgetsafan @delirious-latenight-laughs @winterbaby89 @followbatb @onceuponaprincessworld @hollyethecurious @ohmakemeahercules

Chapter Two: Anywhere But Here

“So we’re on our way to San Diego,” Emma said into the camera, forcing a stage smile onto her face. She also used a peppier voice than she normally would. She had been dancing since she was in her early teens; she knew how to act. Yet even her decade’s worth of stage experience couldn’t mask all of her nerves. She kept gnawing on her bottom lip and rubbing her palms up and down her jeans as she glanced out the tinted windows of the limousine.

Emma looked back into the camera and chuckled. “Now I know how the celebs feel when they meet us! I have no idea what to expect.”

“I think that’s enough for now,” the camera guy told her flatly as he lowered his equipment to his lap.

Emma sagged against the leather seats in relief. One thing she would need to get used to if she wanted to win the mirror ball trophy was the constant presence of the cameras. They called it ���reality television,” but this was Emma’s second show like this. She knew better. On So You Think You Can Dance, they told Elsa she didn’t seem excited enough when she came out of the auditorium with her ticket to Vegas, so they made her do it over again. On Dancing with the Stars, the pros knew to turn it on or dial up the drama whenever the cameras were present. Elsa and David had both warned her how draining it became as the season wore on. And here she was, weary on day one.

But Emma chalked it all up to this scheme of Regina’s. Since when were both the celeb and the pro in the dark? Emma had a notoriously prickly personality, and Regina knew it. This little meeting could go sideways fast. At least with Leroy, she had time to prepare herself.

The limo pulled around to the back of the convention center and parked near a door marked “security entrance.” A young woman with a lanyard around her neck with an official SDCC tag greeted Emma and the camera crew, who had already started filming again. She guided them inside and down a hallway so dark, Emma had to push her sunglasses on top of her head. The woman stopped right at a door with a star taped to it. When Emma read it, her jaw dropped, and she turned to stare in surprise at the camera crew.

“Have fun,” the woman said almost enviously as she scurried away.

Emma blinked rapidly. “This, this doesn’t make sense.”

If Regina had wanted a reaction, she was certainly getting one. The star on the door read “Cast of Neverland.” It was ABC’s biggest hit show. And actors on hit shows didn’t do Dancing With the Stars. They just didn’t. Emma’s mind raced as she approached the door. She could discount the show’s lead right off the bat. Killian Jones, who played Captain Hook, was the hottest thing in Hollywood right now. His face graced every magazine; both the legitimate ones and the tabloids. No one that popular did a show like DWTS. It would hurt their career more than help it, or at least, that was the assumption.

She thought maybe it could be Robbie Malcolm who played the show’s villain, Peter Pan. Teen actors, even popular ones, could get away with competing on the dance show, and it even helped some of their careers. But everyone knew that he had just been cast in the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie; no way did he have time to do the show. So that narrowed it down to one of the minor actors. Rufus Black, who played one of the lost boys, or maybe Christopher Rogers who played Mr. Smee. But did those minor cast members even attend Comic Con?

“Ms. Swan?” one of the crew asked tentatively.

“Right,” she said, shaking her head and turning the door knob. “Hello?” she called tentatively as the door swung open.

A raucous cheer rose up as Emma walked through the door. Of course. They knew one of their cast members was meeting his pro dancer today. Emma’s gaze traveled over the group in the green room, her eyes landing on a group of teenagers in one corner. There was Robbie Malcolm and the three actors who played the Darling children. John and Michael Darling! She had forgotten about them. Surely one of them was her partner. She took a step tentatively towards them.

“Which one of you is my partner?” Emma asked. She didn’t have to force enthusiasm this time. A partner from a hit show was a huge advantage, even if the actor was thirteen or fourteen years old.

The boys blushed and shoved one another. Robbie Malcolm clapped a hand on the younger one’s shoulder. “They wish!” he chuckled.

“I hate to disappoint you, lass, but your partner would be me.”

Emma felt the color drain from her face as she turned to face the man who owned the deep, British accent. Killian Jones sauntered towards her, looking unfairly handsome in skinny jeans and a sky blue shirt. Her first thought was that his eyes really were as blue as they looked in photographs. Then he had the audacity to wink at her. She should have known.

“I was hoping it would be you,” he said to her with a waggle of his eyebrows. And before she even knew what was happening, he took her hand, bent, and kissed it.

Before Emma remembered the cameras, she rolled her eyes and snatched her hand away. “So you’re an old-fashioned gentleman, huh?”

He smiled a dazzling smile that should have been illegal. “Oh, yes. I’m always a gentleman.”

Great. She would be spending the entire season dodging this playboy’s pick-up lines. Regina better not expect her to flirt back. The last thing Killian Jones needed was for his ego to get any bigger. Emma wasn’t one to follow celebrity gossip, but even she knew that the man had a reputation.

Emma crossed her arms and glowered at the man in front of her who was grinning like a Cheshire cat. Until one of the crew cleared his throat loudly. Emma dropped her arms to her side and forced a friendlier expression on her face. She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could get a word out, the young woman with the clipboard returned.

“We gotta move,” she told everyone, “your panel is starting.”

Killian turned to her with a lopsided grin and a tiny nod, “See you on stage, love.”

Emma shook her head, confused. “No, genius, we have to rehearse. Or did they not spell that out for you?”

He only grinned wider at her surliness. “They told me you were a feisty one. “ He reached out and fiddled with a lock of her hair, then leaned closer. “I know I will be in your capable hands all season, Ms. Swan. I was referring to the exclusive announcement of my dancing partner. For the fans?”

“Mr. Jones!” the woman behind them called.

He winked one last time and left her in the now empty green room, feeling completely turned upside down.

“Ms. Swan,” the woman called, “you need to come, too.”

In a daze, Emma followed the woman back down the same dark corridor. As they walked, the sound of frenzied screaming grew louder and louder. Emma and the SDCC worker caught up to the cast of Neverland, the camera crew following them. They all gathered at the bottom of a set of risers. Two of Emma’s camera guys followed the clipboard lady around the curtains so they could film from in front of the stage. The hostess of the panel discussion was whipping the crowd into a fervor, asking if they were ready three or four times. Emma rolled her eyes again.

“First up is everyone’s favorite evil teenager. The most villainous, sadistic version of Peter Pan. That’s right – it’s Robbie Malcolm!”

Fans cheered loudly, several teenage girls screaming, “I love you!” at the top of their lungs. Rose Moore, who played Tinkerbell, was announced next. Then the hostess really laid it on thick.

“And now, the man who brings the house down every year. Everyone’s favorite pirate. The devilishly handsome KILLIAN JONES!!!!”

Emma watched him jog lithely up the riser steps and wave to the crowd as he found his place beside Rose. At least he’s coordinated, she thought wryly. The rest of the cast was announced (Emma vaguely wondered if it hurt their feelings that they didn’t get as many rousing cheers as the first three), and then the hostess started asking questions collected on twitter. Emma had never actually watched the show, so she couldn’t really follow everything and quickly got bored. It was the story of Peter Pan turned on its head, that was all she knew. Hook was the hero while Pan was the villain. And Tinkerbell was Hook’s love interest. Emma would have to be living under a rock not to know that. “Captain Fairy” shippers went insane over the fictional couple.

“Killian, I have to ask,” a breathless fan asked from a microphone set up at the back of the ballroom, “are you and Rose a couple in real life? You have such amazing chemistry.”

This was something else a person would have to live under rock not to know. The two actors were constantly posting selfies from set and hitting the night life together around LA. Emma craned her neck to see Killian Jones’s answer.

“We do have chemistry,” he said, turning to Rose and lifting her hand for a kiss just as he had done with Emma earlier, “but alas, we are just friends.”

Emma rolled her eyes again. The man was full of it!

“Speaking of chemistry,” the hostess segued, “I heard a rumor that you’re going to need some on the dance floor, Killian?”

The crowd obviously didn’t get it yet, although there was a wave of excited whispers.

“That’s right,” Killian said, leaning into his microphone, “I will be doing the next season of Dancing With the Stars.”

The audience went absolutely wild with the news, and it took the hostess a few moments to calm them down. “Wow, that’s exciting,” she enthused, “and do you know yet who your partner will be?”

“Yes, I do,” Killian replied, flashing that dazzling smile of his, “as a matter of fact, she’s right back stage.”

Emma started fidgeting with nervousness as the crowd once again went wild. She wasn’t a very big name yet on DWTS. Elsa would have been an exciting partner, or Ruby, or Ariel. But Emma? She hoped the crowd wouldn’t be too disappointed when she made her appearance.

“You guys want to meet her?” the hostess asked, practically bouncing with excitement. The crowd cheered in the affirmative. “Okay, then, let’s bring her out!”

Emma was almost blinded by the flashbulbs going off when she walked on stage. She managed to smile and wave despite the spots dancing before her eyes. The panel hostess yelled her name over the raucous cheers of the crowd. The sound relieved Emma even as it pounded in her ears. Killian rose from his chair, and Emma accepted his friendly hug with an equally friendly smile. Killian then took a step back and bowed to her.

“Shall we dance?”

If the cheers from the crowd were deafening before, they were about to burst her eardrums now. She played along, tilting her chin and smiling down at Killian flirtatiously as she accepted his hand. She may have botched their initial meeting, but Regina would eat up her performance now. Killian placed his other hand at her waist when he rose. Emma took a mental note of all the things she needed to fix about his frame, but she kept the smile plastered on her face. The crowd was chanting, “waltz! waltz! waltz!” She could only guess it had something to do with the show.

Killian turned to the audience, “She’s a pro, so I don’t need to tell her the one rule, do I?”

The audience chanted back almost in perfect unison, “Pick a partner who knows what he’s doing!”

Killian began a simple box step, and Emma was pleasantly surprised at how he led her around the tight stage. He had at least learned the basics of a waltz on Neverland. Maybe this partnership wouldn’t be so bad after all.

But then he pulled her close, and Emma almost gave a small shout of surprise. The audience hooted. Then Killian Jones dipped her.

Smirking down at her, he said, “I’m ready to get whipped into shape, pro. Don’t be afraid to, you know,” here he winked, “really get into it.”

Emma took it back. She was going to kill Regina.

[ebhenah]

Sunkissed (Original Fiction)

Fictober 18 Day 16

Prompt: “This is gonna be so much fun!”

Original fiction, Original characters (a continuation of my Fictober Day 7 story: Uncharted, Day 8 story : Anchor and Day 13 story: Soulmates. This one featuring Spook and a new OC: Grift)

Rating: T Mentions of war, death, gun violence

 So, there were lots of things that sucked about being stranded in a new timeline, almost a decade before your own birth and staring down the early days of a war that you really hoped turned out differently this time around than your own history would suggest. Little things like being out of touch with pop culture, or not being able to find your favorite tool because it hasn’t been created yet, or craving a food no one knows how to make. Weird things like realizing the new baby that everyone is cooing over is your favorite babysitter from when you were six, or seeing vehicles you consider ‘classics’ being billed as the cutting edge of technology, or fixing your aunt her favorite drink only to have her choke on it, because it was the first time she’d ever tasted alcohol. Oops.

 There were big things, too. So few of the people she was meeting now were alive in her timeline, even though they were young and healthy. Her history knowledge told a story of a world that was wholly unprepared for the might of the invaders that came seemingly out of nowhere, attacked using technology they couldn’t even grasp, and operated under a moral view that was unfathomable to humans. Losses had been staggering, to say the least. The devastation unthinkable for anyone who hadn’t witnessed it for themselves. That’s what she and her family had been sent back to try to avoid. They’d done everything they were supposed to- and a bit more… but she was never supposed to stick around to see how those changes played out.

 In her childhood, the Earth had been teeming with alien life from across multiple galaxies, humans making up only a small portion of the population. The skies had been grey and dull, air quality poor except in areas where massive purification complexes filtered dust and other fallout from the air and water. It had been HOT, the destruction of hundreds of cities within the span of a few months too much for the planet to correct on its own and throwing ‘greenhouse effect’ into being almost overnight. Most of the surface was water, the majority of the rest was desert, and massive sandstorms raged outside of cities built under the protection of huge forcefields or physical domes- much of the population living underground or in orbit. Now, she was one of less than a thousand individuals with even partial alien heritage, and the Earth was green and lush and thriving. No air quality alerts, no radiation alarms, no food shortages. She was now getting to see the Earth that her family loved and spoke about. The Earth that so many people had died trying to protect.

 Sometimes, the weight of that gift got to her. People already thought she was the strange alien traveller, stranger even than the other aliens she had brought with her. It didn’t help that it had been decided it was best not to mention the whole ‘time travel’ thing and instead a cover story of being a science experiment that had been force-grown on a world that no longer exists and growing up in the resistance had been built for her. (Actually, it wasn’t even all that far off from the truth). She was seen as someone not to be trusted, despite being vouched for by the planets most celebrated heroes. Despite the knowledge she had offered them. That was alright. She was from a much more paranoid world than this one, so the mistrust didn’t really bother her much.

 But the odd looks when she would get overwhelmed by the little things she’d only ever heard about were frustrating. She wanted to scream and yell at them to appreciate it all, because it could still be lost. Her timeline might not be that different from this one, even with all the work they’d put into changing it.

 Seeing a butterfly was a MIRACLE. Swimming in the ocean was a GIFT. Being able to stand, on the Earth’s surface, and feel the sun kiss your skin, no need for breathing apparatus, no need for thick suits to protect the skin from being sanded off by the grit in the air, no need for heavy goggles that protected the eyes from pollution and radiation? Just your feet, on the ground; soft sunshine warming you; clean, salty spray from the nearby beach tickling your flesh; sweet smelling flowers wafting on the breeze? That was something out of a fairy story… and she was going to make the most of it every chance she got, dammit. And if people looked askance at her for it, well, they could stuff it.

 “So,” came an awkward voice from somewhere behind her. “When they said you were getting some sun down by the water… I wasn’t really expecting to find you naked…”

 She turned toward the newcomer, “you squeamish about nudity, Grift?” He was, by her math, maybe a year her senior at this point. Elite pilot, fast track for military leadership- a rising star by all accounts. In her memory, he was one of the highest ranking members of a military force that was getting younger and younger by the year as losses continued to mount. But he’d been on the front lines of the fighting since the very first assault, and not only had he survived, each and every one of his squadrons held some of the highest survival rates on the books. Smart. Talented. Responsible. Respected… and an arrogant asshole who CONSISTENTLY butted heads with her father and with the aliens that held the power to make tactical decisions. Not a particularly well-liked guy among her loved ones when she was growing up.

 She could see all those traits in him now, too, for all that he was younger, brasher, less worldly, more innocent. Green. He was also a xenophobe, which had surprised her, because the man she’d known ‘back home’ was not. Of course, by the time she’d been born, he’d had almost a decade of fighting side by side with aliens to rid him of any initial distrust.

 “That’s not my name,” he said, as he always did when she called him that. She was starting to wonder how long it would take him to clue in that the main reason she did it was BECAUSE it got to him. It seemed pretty obvious to her. He didn’t even know yet how much of an insult it actually was. Man, she could not WAIT until the Byx/Sieb made contact with the humans and he found out what ‘grift’ actually MEANT! “Not squeamish about it, no. Just wasn’t expecting to see you… without clothes in public at high noon. You immune to skin cancer or something?”

 She tipped her face up to the light, loving the way the sun tickled her markings. “I don’t actually know,” she answered, shrugging, “I’m not really used to worrying about things that might kill me in a few decades. Usually, I can barely keep up with the things that might kill me this week.”

 “Yeah, that makes a certain amount of sense,” he chuckled. “You don’t mind people staring?”

 “I’m purple, Grift. I’m purple with color-changing rosettes, pointy ears and sometimes my eyes glow… and I blush blue. I’m used to people staring.” She bent down to pull a pair of shorts and a tank top out of her bag, clearly her alone time was being cut short. “What’s going on?”

 “Word from on high,” he joked, referring to the tactical ships that were in orbit above them. “I’m supposed to test your firearm conflict competency. The new allies are pushing for you to get a security clearance with Earth’s military… even though you aren’t military.”

 “How are they justifying that?” she asked, slipping into the shorts, curious to see what loopholes the younger versions of her family were coming up with.

“Diplomat status,” he said dryly.

She stopped short, waistband sitting at mid-thigh, and gaped at him. “DIPLOMAT?!?!” she laughed, “me??? That’s rich. I suck with diplomacy.”

“Looks like we are in agreement on that front,” he answered.

She glared, tugging the shorts into place and getting to work on the button fly, “listen up, pretty boy- you are no better with people than I am, and you are WELL aware of that.”

“Pretty boy?” one of his eyebrows quirked, he seemed surprised that she’d said that.

“What? You have symmetrical features, good hair, are in good shape, high cheekbones, straight nose, full lips, delicate features… objectively, you are pretty- which you KNOW and have no qualms about exploiting. It wasn’t a compliment. I’m not swooning.”

“You don’t strike me as the type to swoon,” he said on a short bark of laughter.

“You don’t know me,” she reminded him, pulling on the tank top as she walked toward him, “I’m a notorious swooner. You’re just not my type.”

“Not a fan of pretty?” he teased.

“Big fan of pretty,” she replied, her eyes glowing a soft, warm yellow, “all kinds of pretty. Pretty hair, pretty eyes, pretty legs, pretty wings- annnd there you go. That face. The one you made when I said wings. That’s why you aren’t my type. It’s not about how you look, Grift. There’s something ugly in you. You’re pretty like Vokarin Crystal is pretty. Lovely to look at, but get too close, and it poisons you. I’m not human, and I can’t change that. So, I stay away from anyone who thinks that makes me some kind of monster. You can smile and charm, but I see that ugliness in you- just as easily as I see your pretty hair and perfect bone structure. It doesn’t blind me to the fact that you are VERY good at your job, though… so, how do we assess my firearm conflict competency?”

“There is a specific set of training scenarios you need to pass,” he answered, falling into step beside her as they walked back to the building, “all done with non-lethal munitions.”

She turned to him, a predatory smile stretching her lips, and she could feel her ears flatten back in anticipation of something that stirred her hunting instincts, “shoot’em’up sims? I love shoot’em’up sims!”

“Don’t get cocky,” he warned her, voice stern. “I’m the one you are facing off against, and I have HIGH standards.”

“Shoot’em’up sims against YOU?” she could feel her rosettes cycle through a few different colors in response to her shifting mood, “ohhhhh man! This is gonna be so much fun!”

[hanaby-3]

TransformFriday

Okay, this is an idea that I've been meditating for a long time but I think now is the perfect time to carry it out. Because my favorite comic book (Transformers MTMTE-LL) will soon come to an end, I have decided to carry out this idea: my own Top Ten of favorite transformers... drawing version! The truth is that the end of MTMTE and LL generates me many mixed emotions: on the one hand I am happy because at last I will be able to know the end of the story and I will not observe how my favorite series becomes the next infinitetale (I will not say names ... but we all know who they are ...) but on the other hand I'm so sad about it. This is a story that has marked me and I know that when the comic ends I will no longer be the same person as before. This (at least for me) is a special moment, comparable to when Inuyasha, Death Note and Evangelion ended. I remember fondly when I started reading it: back then I still had the hype of transformers prime and I was looking for more things about it and then a friend in a forum recommended Transformers More Than Meets the Eye and I started reading it (specifically I got it in chapter 18, the house of ambus) and I was speechless with what I found. All the characters were so similar and at the same time so different from everything I already knew. I remember how I was surprised by the lore and all the mythology that had been assembling around the transformable robots and seeing how a world was created so unique and credible with such a cliche premise and yet I fell completely in love with it. I hallucinated with neurosurgery and empurata, I loved how action and psychology were balanced in about 20 pages in such a harmonious way, and the characters ... my god, the characters! I love how James Roberts takes you by the hand and makes you walk the halls of lost light with his characters, I remember being so sad with Tailgate's disease, getting excited about the battle between cyclones and Starsaber, to love and hate the same time to Tarn for his personality, to be moved for the scavengers, the evolution of rodimus and Megatron. For my Transformers it has not been another series of my childhood. James Roberts and Alex Minle have taught me what someone can do with dedication, hard work and a lot of imagination and their comics are not an empty reading. Thanks to this story I have learned so many important lessons from life and myself, I have come to learn how strong and courageous I can be. Thanks to MTMTE I was encouraged to write and draw my first comic, I learned that the hardest It is forgiveness to yourself, I have learned that it is not bad to ask for help and how powerful teamwork is, thanks to TMTMTE I wrote my degree thesis ... My God I can say it, Thanks to Transformers I got graduated! And finally, thanks to MTMTE transformers I still find the strength to continue doing what I like, which is to draw. That's why I decided to celebrate these last months of Transformers drawing my ten favorite characters and of course explaining why every Friday (of course the position 1 and 2 already know them, I'll leave you below the links if you're interested) because the end of this wonderful saga will also mark the end of a stage of my life and is that the truth, without TMTMTE I would be a completely different person and that is why it is and always will be one of my favorite series.

Top Ten

1.-Prowl    

If you have read any of the wreckers comics then you know that Prowl is a bastard. He is not a noble, kind, or honest hero, I can not even call him good. Actually Prowl is a villain who "fortunately" plays for the good side. If I had to define Prowl in a word that would be hate. He hates the decepticons, he hates the new cybertron, he hates his leader/friends for not listening him, even I think that sometimes he hates himself, his life and especially his failures and that's why I love it. I love the contradiction and the final message of Prowl: hatred has turned him into what he most detests. Ironically, Prowl is more decepticon than many cons and at the same time that hate is the fuel that drives him to improve every new plan and fight for a future and a peace that may get to destroy him. He is cruel, manipulative and ruthless but also has moments of weakness and even compassion ................. although he is still a bastard and has not been able to overcome his ex-boyfriend. I love Prowl because he is not a character, he is a person, he is very real and very human and the world and his own decisions have made him into what he is today.

2.- Starscream    

    Leaving megatron aside, my favorite decepticon is Starscream. Either in comics or in the animated series Screamer always amuses me and always manages to make me smile ... basically because I love to see him fail in everything he does. I do not joke, either bad luck or his own ambition always make him fail. If Prowl is hatred, Starscream is ambition. he reminds me a little the homuncle of FMAB Greed, he wants it all, power, wealth, fame, fear, respect and especially the decepticon leadership.

He knows he is the best option to be the leader of the decepticons and he is an incredibly ruthless person who does not hesitate to lie, murder and manipulate everyone to meet their own whims but like Prowl Star is much more than just ambition. I'm not going to say that he's not so bad or he can redeem himself or some stupidity of the style (I really hate that) but Starscream has a reason to be like that. He is an incredibly lonely person who has struggled to survive before, during and after the war. He has learned that he can not count on anyone because sooner or later they will betray him and that is why he only sees the people around him as pawns. He's logic: if you do not approach or attach to anyone they can not betray you. deep down he knows that sooner or later his bad deeds will overtake him and he must prepare himself.

And yet Starscrean has virtues as great as his flaws: he is incredibly determined and hardworking, when he wants something he does not skimp on resources, time or effort in getting it, he is extremely intelligent (probably not as much as Prowl but he is a force to have in account) and he always learns from his mistakes. I would say that's why he has had such a long reign in comics and even has moments of humanity and genuine compassion. Maybe he really wants to redeem himself ... but he knows that he is beyond all salvation and that for him it is too late.

3.-Cyclonus

The truth is that this is a character that I find it hard to talk about, basically because he is someone I love so much and I identify so much that I block myself. 

I will start strong: Cyclonus is my perfect waifu, he is a revision to the classic stereotype of the solitary warrior and constantly reminds us that every age, however dark or terrible it may have been, created beauty. Fuck, Cyclonus loves any form of art: music, writing, architecture and also he is a killing machine that can slice just about anyone, what else could you ask for? And in spite of him being so cultured he has a huge darkness inside him, of course Cy is fully aware of that and always tries to channel it ... with mixed results.

But the truth is that the feature with which I most identify with cyclonus is his sense of honor and loyalty, that is something that resonates a lot with me. The moment that I see Cyclonus is willing to do him on the side in order to ensure the happiness of the person he loves the most is something that makes my throat tighten. Besides that his relationship with Tailgate is the best yaoi I've read, let's be honest and he has the best sentence ever written. you want to know? You will have to read the comic because the spoiler is not from God.

4.- Megatron

Of course Megsi was to be in my topten, he is almost a god in my pantheon (sorry optimus). I love all the incarnations of Megatron except for the transformers prime novel (seriously, a revolutionary who hates the primes but he wants to be a prime …. what the hell?) But my favorite so far is the IDW Megatron , he is a very complex character that goes through different stages: fallen, self-discovery, acceptance, temptation, redemption … all a carousel of emotions. He pass from being a ruthless murderer to a pacifist in constant conflict with himself. Although my favorite aspect about megatron is its moral: we all deserve a second chance … but redeption is not as easy as bowing your head and apologizing. Throughout MTMTE and LL Megs works every minute of his life to redeem his mistakes even when he knows they are too big and as he advances towards his death he knows perfectly well that there is a possibility that no one will forgive him but that does not stop him. Megatron words always resonate strongly within me: We are all work in progress.

5.- RungMy second perfect waifu and a cinnamon roll too pure for this world. Rung is the most adorable autobot ever drawn … until he takes off his glasses and becomes the greatest latinlover ever created. But leaving aside my inclination for robots, Rung is an incredible character, I know that many joke about the theory which says that Rung is the self-inception of Roberts, but I think that rather Rung is the connection with the reader. He is a character that has been kept at bay from most problems by having a very convenient good luck, he is skinny, short, lovable, sometimes too much kind and he prefers conversation rather than confrontation but he is not weak On the contrary, Rung has incredible mental and emotional strength. he has not only endured that everyone, absolutely ALL mispronounce his name at least once, Rung listens to the problems and confessions of others around him to make a living; he literally knows the worst of all, he knows the darkness that dwells within each of his companions … and that never stops him from helping or comforting others. If I had to define the role of Rung in some archetype that would be the maternal one. Of course there are parents in fiction who are loving and protective, but the mother figure always ends up being kinder, the comforter and the one that drives you to improve and that is precisely the raxon for which I love Rung.I have met many maternal characters but what makes the difference with Rung (besides being male) is the moment in which (spoiler alert) during the kidnapping of Fortress Maximus, Rewind reproduces a part of the torture in Garrus 9 and Max, realizing that he is doing exactly the same as Overlord and reliving those horrible memories, he throws himself to the ground to mourn and Rung, with a patience of a saint, despite the kidnapping and even though Max had yanked his thumb out… he surrounds him with a kind arm and tells him that everything will be fine and everything ends for today. That’s something my mother could have done.Because deep down Rung is that, he is kindness and he teaches us the strength found in compassion and as the functionalist universe demonstrates, Rung possesses incredible strength of character and determination and he is capable of giving his life to save those who he care … and that’s a large number of people.

6.- ...

7.- ...

8.- ...

9.- ...

10.- ...

[aion-rsa]

Tenet Is Christopher Nolan’s Unofficial James Bond Movie

https://ift.tt/3xRimZi

This article contains Tenet spoilers.

Throughout the Daniel Craig era of James Bond, the influence of Christopher Nolan has been hard to miss. A year after Nolan reinvented Dark Knight mythology with Batman Begins, and created the industry term of a “reboot” in the process, 007 had his own back-to-basics reset in Casino Royale. And following The Dark Knight’s praise for reconfiguring its iconography again for a post-War on Terror world, Skyfall would receive similar acclaim a few years later for its chilly, realpolitik tone.

But no matter how many developments in the Bond canon end up attributed to Nolan’s influence, it should be recognized that Bond influenced him first. That fact is almost inescapable after watching Tenet, which just premiered on HBO Max. It’s the filmmaker’s latest time-bending thriller, and the one that most resembles a 007 flick. With its smoothly dressed secret agent hero, its allusions to British intelligence, and its plot about a megalomaniacal Russian seeking to destroy the world, it’s a wonder John David Washington never once drained a dry martini.

More than any of the films before it, Tenet crystallizes that Nolan has always been chasing James Bond. And with this new film, the Memento director finally went ahead and remade that character in his coolly nonlinear image.

For more than a decade, the 50-year-old filmmaker has not been shy about his admiration for the Bond movies that captured his imagination as a child. At the 2010 London premiere of Inception, he even celebrated the similarities between his work and the Bond oeuvre.

“The Bond influence on the film was very intentional because, for me growing up with the Bond films, they’ve always stood for grand scale action,” Nolan said (via BBC). Those early 007 films from his youth, starring Sean Connery, George Lazenby, and Roger Moore, all “stood for the promise of being taken some place bigger than you could have imagined.” In an Empire print interview from the same year, he confessed, “I’ve been plundering ruthlessly from the Bond movies in everything I’ve done, forever. They’re a huge influence on me.”

And you can see it in every action film he’s made since 2005, beginning with the groundbreaking Batman Begins. While his origin story for the Dark Knight might have influenced how grounded Bond producers took their own 007 reboot less than 18 months later, the Bond influence on Nolan’s vision of Batman was there from the outset. It’s even in one of the key appeals of all three of Nolan’s Batman movies: his desire to open Bruce Wayne’s world up and depict him as a jetsetting crusader living in a larger global community, as opposed to in a contained Never Never Land version of Gotham City. The desire to show exotic locales like Iceland (doubling as the Himalayas) and Hong Kong visibly came from Eon Productions’ depiction of Bond as an adventurer always on the move.

More specifically, Nolan’s reinvention of the Lucius Fox character (played by Morgan Freeman) was modeled wholly after Desmond Llewelyn’s Q, the gadget-making quartermaster and occasional sidekick of 007 across nearly 40 years of Bond movies. Similarly, the focus on the chic habits and hobbies of the ultra-rich in those films (and many others of Nolan’s films, actually) likewise stems from 007.

As the Batman sequels continued to heighten the tension throughout The Dark Knight Trilogy, the influences of Bond also became only more pronounced. With each new film, the villain of the piece got a table-setting prologue action sequence that acted in a similar fashion to Bond movies’ famed pre-title sequences, and Bane’s aerial hijacking of a CIA plane over Scotland in The Dark Knight Rises is particularly a much more sophisticated riff on the same concept that starts License to Kill (1989).

Similarly, Batman kidnaps a Chinese national out of Hong Kong in The Dark Knight by holding onto him as an airplane grabs a cable tethered between the superhero’s back and a balloon floating in the sky—thereby yanking both into the air. Lucius Fox says he got the idea from “a program the CIA had back in the ‘60s called Skyhook.” And it’s true, that program existed, but Nolan almost certainly got the idea from the 1965 Bond movie, Thunderball, where Sean Connery and Claudine Auger (or at least their stunt dummies) are yanked out of the Caribbean and into the wide blue yonder.

Even the third act twist of The Dark Knight Rises, where it’s revealed that Tom Hardy’s dastardly Bane is actually subservient to (and in love with?) the woman Bruce thought he cared for is taken more or less from the underrated Pierce Brosnan Bond film, The World Is Not Enough (1999).

Eleven years ago, Inception was simply more brazen about these lifts, with its finely tailored heroes never needing to don superhero threads, and with a third act in large part focused on a ski and snowmobile raid of a fortress taken right out of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969), which Nolan just happened to call his favorite Bond film. At the time of Inception’s release, he also called the dream-based actioner “absolutely my Bond movie.”

Nevertheless, with Inception’s structure being more derived from heist thrillers than spy movies, and its hero being a family man haunted by past mistakes instead of an international man of mystery, the filmmaker’s thoughts on that being “my Bond movie” have softened over the years. In 2017, he told Playboy (via Business Insider) that he’d “definitely” consider doing a Bond movie one day.

One might assume Tenet is that movie, or as close to it as possible.

In both Nolan’s Batman movies and Inception, the filmmaker grafted Bond inspirations onto the existing structures of superhero lore and heist movie conventions. Yet with Tenet, Nolan finally embraces the spy movie’s form… while still situating those conventions within his own distinct obsessions and narrative sleights of hand.

Excluding the most recent Bond movies starring Craig, the 007 of the screen has always been defined by his impenetrable ambiguity. Connery’s Bond never talked about his childhood or parents, Moore’s Bond never had any lingering attachments to friends or lovers beyond the current adventure he was already in, and the only acquaintances in their lives were work colleagues like Q, M, Miss Moneypenny, and poor hapless Felix Leiter from the CIA. With two notable exceptions, we never even saw the inside of Bond’s flat for the first 50 years of cinematic exploits.

Tenet thus takes that idea of a mysterious presence as the lead character to its extreme. Washington’s protagonist is even rather cloyingly named just that: the Protagonist. He has no family, friends, backstory, or even 007’s defining vices of vodka and sex. All we know is the Protagonist came up through the CIA before being recruited into the Tenet organization, and he doesn’t like it when colleagues are killed—well, that and he’s more inclined to drink a Diet Coke than a martini.

Still, he nestles into 007’s world neatly throughout the film. When he’s scolded by a marvelous Michael Caine for wearing a Brooks Brothers suit to a meeting at a London club so snooty that you’re chided for not addressing your betters by their titles, the Protagonist quips, “You British don’t have a monopoly on snobbery, you know.”

“Well not a monopoly,” Sir Michael smirks. “More of a controlling interest.”

In essence, Washington’s Protagonist is an interloper infiltrating the rich and privileged world most 007 actors are depicted as walking through as if it were their birthright. While there was a roughness around the edges to Connery’s original (and best) Bond, the character’s smirk implies he was born with the silver spoon, only no one realized it until he took it out of some other less deserving aristocrat’s mouth.

Read more

Movies

Tenet Opening Opera Scene Explained

By Chris Farnell

Movies

Tenet Algorithm Explained

By David Crow

We likewise see Washington slowly assume that identity throughout Tenet, intentionally irritating the stuffiness of Sir Michael’s club, or joking about hot sauce in a high-end restaurant frequented by billionaires. Nonetheless, he assumes all the Bond airs smoothly and with minimal effort as the film progresses. After Michael’s condescension about his suit, the next time we see the Protagonist he’s wearing a tailored three-piece gray number which doesn’t look that far removed from Connery in Goldfinger.

And when he sits down to match wits with the film’s villain, a man named Sator (Kenneth Branagh), he Protagonist acts like Connery: a fella who claimed the privilege that was mistakenly denied at his birth. When the Protagonist is asked if he’s slept with the villain’s wife, the way he so subtly smirks while saying, “No. Not yet,” would do Connery proud.

But then Sator, perhaps even more so than the Protagonist, is what makes Tenet a near full-on Bond movie. Following in the grand tradition of British actors adopting bad Russian accents to play heavies, Branagh’s Sator lives the life of a super-evil megalomaniac on his yachts and high on his vices.

Those trapping may be more sophisticated than the Bond movies’ often comic book-level depictions of wealth and power—hollowed out volcanoes and swimming pools filled with sharks—but for all of Sator’s musings about the paintings of Goya and Freeport tax havens, or the F50 foiling catamaran sailboats he flaunts in front of the Protagonist, he’s still a Bond villain who wants to conquer/destroy the world. In his case, it’s because of the complicated science fiction methods of a future generation wanting to wipe us out. Still, Sator’s function is all so much fodder for a third act monologue.

Where this becomes most apparent is his relationship with his wife Katharine (Elizabeth Debicki). A woman trapped in a toxic abusive marriage by literal blackmail, Debicki’s Kat is intended to be more developed than a typical Bond girl (not to mention many of the leading roles for women in Nolan movies). We see her twisted relationship with Sator strictly from her point-of-view as a mother living under duress, with her husband threatening to send her to prison if she ever attempts to leave with their son. In fact, he twists the knife further by saying he’d only allow her to leave if he kept the child he doesn’t even care about.

However, the Protagonist trying to get to the supervillain through the manipulation of his lover is Bond movie plotting 101. The Dark Knight might’ve borrowed the Skyhook concept from Thunderball, but Tenet lifts the central romantic triangle conflict in total, with the hero pressuring a woman to spy on and undermine a villain who’s essentially middle management for the bigger threat (SPECTRE in Thunderball, vengeful future generations in Tenet).

There’s more complexity to Kat than Thunderball’s Domino, and she nor the Protagonist need a romantic rendezvous under the sea for her to turn. She’s already ready to do that long before the Protagonist shows up. However, she is still, at least in one scene, the damsel in distress who must be saved, and the woman who’s also tortured and beaten by the man who keeps her under constant surveillance.

At least, also like Domino, Kat gets to kill the villain by shooting him on a yacht. Kat’s victory over Sator is more satisfying, too, since she does it to quench her own thirst for revenge and not to save the hero.

“I’m not the woman who could find love for you even though you scarred her on the inside,” she says, drawing the gun. “I’m the vengeful bitch you scarred on the outside.”

For all of Tenet’s confusing misdirections and head-spinning discussions about introverted entropies, paradoxes, and parallel worlds, it is in essence a spy thriller right out of the 007 template. But does that make it better or worse? The answer might be somewhere in the middle.

Like all of Nolan’s spectacle films, there is something to be said about Tenet’s fidelity to in-camera stunts and action. Nolan’s seen enough Bond movies over the decades to know the images that stay with you and hold up many years later are the ones where actors (or stuntpeople) are doing it for real. So original death-defying imagery, such as when the Protagonist and Neil (Robert Pattinson) bungee jump upwards and above a Mumbai high-rise, or a third act climax in which filmmakers simultaneously shoot vehicles moving forward and backward, is thrilling stuff. (The movie finishing in a third act siege is also taken from Thunderball and numerous other Bond movies, by the by.)

But personally, one of the greater appeals about Bond movies is their unapologetic desire to have fun. With few exceptions, the atmosphere is relatively lighthearted in each 007 adventure, or at least playful. Tenet, like all of Nolan’s films, has a somber earnestness about it, which makes the slipperiness of its protagonist harder to hang onto, and the motivations of its villain less credible in a story about our descendants trying to wipe us out over climate change.

In many ways, Tenet is denser and less mischievous than any of Nolan’s brooding Batman efforts or Inception, which is a picture where the central protagonist is a grieving widower. It’s one of the reasons, I suspect, Tenet has left a lot of viewers cold. So if this really is the closest Nolan ever gets to doing a 007 movie, maybe it’s for the best.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

The post Tenet Is Christopher Nolan’s Unofficial James Bond Movie appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3h18fLq

[shannaraisles]

11 Questions Meme

Good grief ... I’ve been tagged by @a-shakespearean-in-paris, @enchantment1385, @isharaytaoshay, AND @sassylavellen! Guys! ~laughs~ 44 questions! Under the cut, though, it’s long!

So, from @a-shakespearean-in-paris ...

What’s your favorite Disney Movie? Sleeping Beauty, always.

If you are limited to read one book for the rest of your life, what do you pick? Oh, crap. Um ... To Kill A Mockingbird. But I can’t just have one!

What is your favorite play by Shakespeare? Twelfth Night.

Do you watch the Oscars or Golden Globes? Neither, I’m not that fussed.

What is the animal that represents the inner you? (Patrononus, if you’re into Harry Potter.) The inner me is definitely a very lazy domestic kitten.

favorite historical period? Medieval, Tudor, or Regency. I refuse to choose!

favorite artist? (As in like Van Gough, Picasso, Renoir, etc.) Or favorite period in art history?  Torn between Van Gogh (Starry Night is one of my favorites), Leonardo da Vinci, and Edmund Leighton.

Do you like the Marvel movie franchise, hate it, or are you indifferent to it? What’s your opinion on the superhero genre in general? (can talk about DC too if you like) Oh, that’s tough. I generally like the Marvel movies, the casting is amazingly good. But I have a basic problem with the superhero genre - I’m British, we don’t have a culture of superheroes over here. Seriously, the superheroes from my childhood were Bananaman and Super Ted. My problem is with the increasing emphasis on lengthy action sequences (which bore me to tears), and the distinct lack of plausible consequences. I know both DC and Marvel have tried to get the consequences in there, but seriously ... the “heroes” do more harm than good with their flashy tactics. It just annoys me.

Did you ever have an embarrassing celebrity/fictional character crush? Yes. ~grins~ Okay ... Gaston from Beauty & The Beast. And it got worse when they did the live action version, because I lurve Luke Evans!

Guilty pleasure movie? The Chronicles of Riddick, or Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. Depends on my mood.

And the most important question of all…you go to a bar. What’s your go to drink? (if you’re into drinking?) JD & Coke. Without fail. :)

From @isharaytaoshay ...

1) Place you want to travel?  I’d love to be able to meet the lovely people I’ve made friends with here on tumblr! So ... kind of everywhere?

2) Favourite time of the day/night? I like the hours after midnight and before dawn. I’m pretty much an insomniac, so I spend a lot of time awake then, and there’s just something about the way the world feels that appeals to me

3) Weirdest accident you’ve ever had happen? Weirdest would be the time I fell over a mop and broke my clavicle. Cannot, for the life of me, work out why the mop was there, or how I fell over it.

4) Favourite comfort meal? Hmm ... fried egg and chips (fries).

5) How many places have you traveled in? Let’s see ... Ireland, Scotland, Wales, France, Spain, Italy, Germany, Austria. Eight! All when I was under 18; I haven’t been anywhere since then!

6) Favourite scar? I have a small scar on my inner left forearm that shows up under fluorescent lighting and freaks out therapists when I first meet them. Nothing sinister - Beni, my first cat, scratched me accidentally with dirty claws when he was a kitten, and it took forever to heal!

7) Favourite historical era? Tudor, Medieval, or Regency. ~grins~

8) One blog you’ve followed forever and always admired but been too scared to approach? Um ... all of them? ~laughs~ I am getting better at putting in asks and things, but I have yet to be brave and just outright drop into anyone’s messenger uninvited.

9) Your idea of a perfect day? A perfect day ... would be any day in which I don’t have to talk myself either down from a panic attack or up from a depressive moment, unfortunately. I have small ambitions.

10) Favourite meme? Um ... Why Weren’t You At Elf Practice?

11) Which fictional language would you learn? Given the choice, I’d learn Entish, or Discworld Dwarven. ~grins~

From @sassylavellen ...

1. Do you have a favorite soundtrack from a movie or a video game? I tend not to focus on complete soundtracks; I have favourites from several soundtracks, but they tend to be the sweeping scores, like DAI and LotR. Big music for big moods!

2. What was the first video game you remember playing? Lands of Lore; The Throne of Chaos. Well, I didn’t exactly play it - I sat behind my brother and watched him play it. I still can’t finish that game, but I love replaying it.

3. If you could have any kind of food right now, what would it be? Right now? I want chili and macaroni cheese, but that requires money to buy ingredients with and the motivation to cook it. ~laughs~

4. Are you a good cook? I am a passable cook. I have not, to date, poisoned anyone, and my last disaster was only a disaster because the rice was disgusting. But I always have a back up plan!

5. Do you have/want any exotic pets? I would love to have an African Grey parrot, but sadly, my slightly feral cat would not have it in the house unless it was dinner.

6. What fictional character would you love to be friends with? Torn between Nanny Ogg and Cassandra Pentaghast. Nanny, because she’s just a comfortable person to be around; Cassandra, because I think she needs a friend.

7. if you could have any superpower, what would it be? Um ... being able to understand maths and science seems like a pretty good superpower to. Neither of which make a lick of sense to me, I should add.

8. What movie could you watch and enjoy every single time? Labyrinth. And have done, on many, many occasions.

9. Favorite color combinations? Brown and gold, blue and silver, purple and teal.

10. when you play games (Dragon Age or like games) do you use armor sets that have good stats but looks bad, or armor that looks good but has bad stats? When I can cheat (and I do), I go with armor that looks good and is crap. When I can’t cheat, my characters tend to look like they’ve just climbed out of a Lost Property box.

11. Favorite genre of music? That is a hard one to answer. It all depends on my mood - sometimes it’s 80′s pop, sometimes it’s classical, sometimes it’s musicals. Never ever jazz, though.

From @enchantment1385 ...

1. What is your favorite fandom, and why? The Dragon Age fandom wins by a narrow margin. Why? Because, while I was extremely late to the party and have seen a fair amount of harshness in the community, I have been made to feel very welcome by everyone I’ve encountered and spoken to. As an anxious person, just interacting is enough to send me into a downward spiral, but you’ve all been just lovely to me. 2.  What’s your Pokemon team? I have never played or watched Pokemon, so I have no idea! 3. Favorite ‘Team’ in dragon age or mass effect? Hmm ... Origins, I tend to go for Alistair, Shale, and Morrigan (Demelza’s a rogue); DA2 is Varric, Fenris, and Bethany (Poppy, another rogue); Inquisition finds me with Cassandra, Iron Bull, and Sera (Velen’s a mage). Mass Effect? Tali/Kaidan, or Tali/Samara, hands down. 4. Favorite non Bioware game? Lands of Lore: The Throne of Chaos (showing my age there) 5. OTP? I think this is fairly obvious. ~laughs~ Canon, it’s Cullen/Inquisitor. Personally? I can’t choose between my OCs! 6. What is your Guilty pleasure? Harlequin romance novels! 7. A food you can’t get enough of? You know, I don’t think there’s ... oh, wait. Ben & Jerry’s Minter Wonderland Ice Cream. Yeah, I found it. :) 8. What’s can you see right now? Right now? My cat smugly sitting in between me and the monitor, about four inches from my face as I type. 9. Something I don’t know about you? Um ... I am the youngest of four siblings at the bottom of the biggest gap - 10 years between me and my sister. 10. Mosted loved OC, why? Most loved is probably Rory right now. She was meant to be a self-insert, but she took my best traits and ran off with them! We’ve spent a lot of time together, though. Writing her is like pulling on a comfy sweater. 11. What song is stuck in your head right now? The theme to a gameshow called Blankety-Blank, which I will not link, because I am not that cruel.

[rivermoose-vlogs]

I wasn’t tagged – and what is it with me and doing things I wasn’t tagged for vs. things I was? – but Icebreaker694 – who’s blog is AMAZING and you should go check it out – did this tag and tagged anyone who wanted to do it, so here I am.

I LOVE Ghibli movies. I’ve been watching them for YEARS. Like, I watch them in Japanese when I am too impatient to wait for the english dub to come out. So I wanted to do this okay?!

Bonus from Icebreaker: PlayBuzz quiz to see what Ghibli Heroine you are: Link if you want to play – I got Nausicaa from Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind!

The Rules:

Please pingback, rather than link to Kate@Melting Pots and Other Calamities. She will only know if you’ve done this tag if you pingback.

Tag as many people as you want. Ghibli movies aren’t as popular as Disney or Pixar, so be careful that those you tag are at least somewhat familiar with Ghibli.

You can use examples from books, movies, TV shows, anime/manga, and webcomics.

As this tag celebrates heroines, please name either a piece of fiction or a female character, if you’re able.

Have fun!

Questions!

Nausicaa, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind: (Even though this isn’t technically Ghibli, it’s still marketed that way). Nausicaa is a princess in a post-disaster world. She is compassionate and brave, a daring explorer who is capable and selfless.  Name a strong female leader. 

Uhura from Star Trek. Seriously. She’s not the captain, but she’s an irreplaceable part of the Bridge Crew!

(Never seen this one…)

  Sheeta, Castle in the Sky: Although Sheeta may have a quieter demeanour than other Ghibli heroines, she is not a damsel in distress. She’s royalty, but doesn’t stay on the sidelines; she is involved, kind, and despite a sad past, hopeful. Name an inspiring member of royalty.

Leia from Star Wars. As if any other answer is acceptable!

(Great movie – though not one of my favorites)

Satsuki and Mei, My Neighbour Totoro: Before Anna and Elsa, before Lilo and Nani, there was Satsuki and Mei. Satsuki was incredibly young when their mother was hospitalised, and with their father at work, she has to take care of Mei. And Mei is only four, with a big imagination. Name a pair of siblings (or two friends who act like siblings). 

Katniss and Primrose from The Hunger Games. Katniss takes care of Prim the same way Satsuma takes care of Mei.

(Arguably my favorite Ghibli movie – Soot Sprites! The Totoro song that with forever be in my brain!)

Kiki, Kiki’s Delivery Service: Kiki has to go off on her own to live alone, as is the custom among witches. She goes through many things that newly independent young adults face, like money problems, finding a place to stay, job searching, and loneliness, before finding her way thanks to her special abilities. Name a female character who has supernatural gifts.

Jessica Jones – A kickass super-heroine with super strength. Does that count as supernatural? I’m going with it.

(I’m DYING to see this movie!)

  Gina and Fio, Porco Rosso: Gina and Fio are both heroines in this film, and they couldn’t be less alike. Gina is a young woman who is very feminine, a singer and a restaurant owner. However, she is very resourceful and capable. Fio is a teenage mechanic who is independent, goes against the flow, and isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty. She may be one of the best mechanics of her time. Name two inspiring heroines; one who is unabashedly feminine, and another who is more of a tomboy. 

Izzy from TMI – super feminine and super badass!

Lada from And I Darken – A serious tomboy, like that is 90% of her characterization.

Angel, On Your Mark: On Your Mark is a music video that Ghibli helped a music group with. It may not have much of a story, but it’s beautiful and interesting, and not may people are aware of its existence. Name an underrated heroine.

Maximum Ride! Not enough people seem to have read the books – and…well…winged humans.

(I didn’t know this video existed…)

Shizuku, Whisper of the Heart: Shizuku is an eighth-grade student who can’t quite focus on school as much as on her favourite books. However, through encounters with an ambitious boy who seems to have a likely chance at meeting his goals, a cat who rides trains, an antique shop owner, and a cat statue called The Baron, Shizuku is determined to meet her own goal and become a writer. Name your most relatable character. 

Cath from Fangirl. She is literally me!

(I can’t remember if I’ve seen this movie…)

San, Princess Mononoke: San has been raised by wolves her whole life. When humans begin to invade her home forest to make towns and use the resources for themselves while killing the spirits and animals within, San refuses to let it be. She takes a stand and becomes the village’s  greatest obstacle. She is such a force to be reckoned with that they even give her a name; The Princess Mononoke. Name a female character who is physically strong.

Kara Danvers (AKA Supergirl) – she’s literally an alien was super-strength – okay?

Chihiro, Spirited Away: At the beginning of Spirited Away, Chihiro starts off as a whiny, spoiled ten-year-old girl. However, during her time working at the spirit’s Bath House, she discovers parts of herself she didn’t know she had. The story is about her finding the strength she already had but was unaware of. Name a character who has an amazing character journey.

Tessa Gray from The Infernal Devices. A lot happens in a short frame of time for her – but she grows a lot as a character.

(I love this movie so much you don’t understand!)

Haru, The Cat Returns: Haru is a typical high school girl; kind, clumsy, and a little forgetful. But she soon finds herself involved in events that are out of her control. In a way, it is because of her normalcy that she can find her way out of her situation and become stronger because of it. Name a female character who may not have any supernatural abilities herself, but is memorable anyway.

Tohru from Fruits Basket! Even surrounded by guys who turn into animals she stands out!

(Haven’t seen this movie…)

  Sophie, Howl’s Moving Castle: Sophie doesn’t think much of herself for a lot of the story. She doesn’t think she’s pretty or memorable, especially when compared to her younger sister, Lettie. It gets even worse when she’s cursed to look like an old woman. When she finds a new life that involves the mysterious wizard Howl, a fire demon, Howl’s apprentice, and many others, she is shown to be resilient and intuitive. Name an emotionally strong character.

Kaori from Your Lie In April – I won’t say too much as its spoiler-y. But, for real. Wow.

(I LOVE Howl’s Moving Castle – one of the best Ghibli movies for sure. Its the Ghibli version of Beauty and the Beast)

  Ponyo, Ponyo: Ponyo is one of the youngest Ghibli heroines at only five years old. But she still gets a lot done, including becoming human, discovering things, finding a best friend, and saving the world. Name a hero who happens to be a child.

Chiyo from Azumanga Daioh (an anime I love). She’s a 10-year-old genius child who is skipped ahead to high school and faces all sorts of interesting obstacles because of her age.

(Ponyo is the one Ghibli movie most people know since since did the dub – its basically the Ghibli version of The Little Mermaid and its great)

  Arrietty, The Secret World of Arrietty: Arrietty is a Borrower; she is tiny and survives by stealing small things that humans won’t miss. Yet she’s curious about the human world, and does braver things than most humans would be incapable of doing, despite her tiny size. Name an unlikely hero.

Skye / Daisy Johnson from Agents of SHIELD. Her entire character arc – especially in the first season – is how she doesn’t think she fits the bill of being a hero (and she so is).

(I love this movie – its also a really great book-to-movie adaptation!)

  Nahoko, The Wind Rises: Nahoko has tuberculosis during World War 2. However, she doesn’t allow this to cripple her, and enjoys life to the fullest anyway, which includes painting and falling in love. Even being placed in a sanitarium doesn’t break her. Name an inspiring character with some sort of obstacle. 

Naho from the anime Orange. She gets lets from her future self and has to try and fix things without really knowing what happened and I’d say she handles that obstacle better than I ever could.

(I haven’t actually seen The Wind Rises – though I want to!)

Kaguya, The Tale of the Princess Kaguya: in a time where women were expected to follow social norms such as blackening teeth, shaving eyebrows, and being forced into arranged marriages, Kaguya refuses to play along. She would much rather be outside, dance, and play with friends. Name a female character who challenges social norms.

Definitely Haruhi from Ouran High School Host Club. She ends up cross-dressing and pretending to be a boy in order to pay back her debts to her school’s host club and it is one of my favorite animes!

(Haven’t seen this Ghibli film either…)

There we go! That was the Ghibli Heroines Tag! I had a lot of fun! And now I want to go watch a Ghibli movie…

A little sad two of my favorites “From Up On Poppy Hill” and “When Marnie Was Here” weren’t here, but oh well!

If you like Ghibli, or you liked this tag, and you like video games, you should play Ni Nu Kuni: Wrath of The White Witch – its a JRPG animated by Ghibli and one of my favorite games EVER!

Let me know what you think of this tag!

What is your favorite Ghibli movie / which do you want to see?

Tag:

Like Icebreaker, I don’t know who would want to be tagged in this.

So I’m tagging anyone who wants to do this / likes Studio Ghibli!

The Ghibli Heroines Tag I wasn't tagged - and what is it with me and doing things I wasn't tagged for vs.

[nuclearmu5hroom]

Thanks for the tag @kittenbloodcoffee (boy this is a long one....)

THE LAST: 
1. Drink:   Grapefruit soda 
2. Phone call:   My sister and I was trying to give her directions to the Pagan Pride Fest I was at yesterday 
3. Text message:   Veggie Lo Mein and Gen Tso's Chicken (its whats for dinner) 
4. Song you listened to:   Right now at this very moment I'm listening to I'm Your Boogeyman by Rob Zombie 
5. Time you cried:   Like cry cry? or tear up and get moopy? cause I tear up several times a day over stupid stuff but I last genuinely cried when it was brought to my attention that my ex wanted to talk about our son living with him full time.

HAVE YOU: 
6. Dated someone twice: I'm not entirely sure about what this means? Are you asking if I dated someone, broke up, then went back to them? Then yes, I've done that. 
7. Kissed someone and regretted it:   Yes 
8. Been cheated on:   Yes 
9. Lost someone special:   2 friends to suicide and another who I cant talk to because....reasons. 
10. Been depressed: Yup, that bitch runs in my family 
11. Gotten drunk and thrown up:   Yes in my younger years. I'm too old for that shit now 

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 
12-14: Blue, Purple and Red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 
15. Made new friends:   All my pockets frands on Tombler dot gov 
16. Fallen out of love:   Yes sadly. 
17. Laughed until you cried:   Have you ever considered using a penis as an exotic weapon in D&D? I died when we made the rules for this. 
18. Found out someone was talking about you:  Probably but I don't remember or actively blocked it out 
19. Met someone who changed you:   Yes. Its a tendency of mine to absorb characteristics of the people I meet in order for them to like me more. 
20. Found out who your friends are: Secret friends? That sounds neat..if there is anyone who is my friend and they'd like to tell me come on down!! 
21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list:  Yes. Several people.

GENERAL: 
22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life:   99.9% of them. 
23. Do you have any pets:   I haz 1 itty bitty kitteh 
24. Do you want to change your name: Nope I like mine just fine. I was named after a friend of my Mom's who joined the Circus. 
25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Got a PipBoy and the PC version of Fallout 4, my husband made me breakfast and we went out to dinner. It was a good day, tater. 
26. What time did you wake up:   7:30, like most days 
27. What were you doing at midnight last night:   Came home from the movies. I got to see Pee Wee's Big Adventure in the theater! 
28. Name something you can’t wait for:  To hear back if Danny Shorago's gonna be at TooManyGames next year. That and my gaming PC and also my BodyKun/Chan mannikins 
29. When was the last time you saw your mom:   2 1/2 years ago. I don't talk to her and don't wish to. 
30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life:  My level of education. I really want to go to school for animation and illustration 
31. What are you listening right now:   Short Change Hero - The Heavy. (I am always listening to music. ALWAYS) 
32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom:   Yup, he's one of our managers at my work. Good guy, I like him. 
33. Something that is getting on your nerves:   American Politics and corruption (getting on my nerves is a bit of an understatement) 
34. Most visited Website:   Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter

LOST QUESTIONS. (I mean I just wrote about myself lol) 
35. Mole/s: Molemolemolemolemolemolemolemolemole  (yes I have a few <.<) 
36. Mark/s:   Stretch marks from mah bebbes, scars from self injury from years and years ago. 
37. Childhood dream:   I always wanted to be a Marine Biologist

38. Haircolor: At the moment its electric blue, but naturally its shit brown

39. Long or short hair: Short and shaved on the side and back 
40. Do you have a crush on someone:   Don't tell my husband but yes I do ^-^ (don't worry, its on a celebrity so nothing will ever happen lol) 
41. What do you like about yourself:   I got awesome legs and I'm kinda funny sometimes. 
42. Piercings:   I used to have SO MANY PIERCINGS! I had my right eyebrow, tongue, I had an industrial in my right ear, both nipples, navel, clitoral hood, aaannnnd labia. 
43. Bloodtype: A+ and I always donate 
44. Nickname: Mush (like Mush-chelle) 
45. Relationship status: Married 
46. Zodiac:   Pisces 
47. Pronouns:   She/Her and I'm perfectly ok with they/them too

48. Favorite TV Show:   Stranger Things   
49. Tattoos:   I have Princess Zelda covering my left bicep, the burning eye from Tool on my neck and a really shitty biker tattoo of a fairy that I got for free when I was 16. I plan on getting it covered up.......whenever. 
50. Right or left hand:   Righty 
51. Surgery: Nope 
52. Hair dyed in different color:   See above - Its BLOOOOO 
53. Sport:   Hockey (Go Flyers!) 
55. Vacation: My favorite vacation I ever went to was Disneyworld when I was 10. My dream vacation would be to see my Uncle Klaus and Omi in Germany  
56. Pair of trainers:   Converse. I have a black pair and a maroon pair

MORE GENERAL: 
57. Eating:  OMNOMNOMNOM (I love food) 
58. Drinking:   Til I PEEEE! 
59. I’m about to:   Drop the hottest mix tape this side of my 30s 
61. Waiting for:   a sense of the miraculous in everyday life (pfffffft HA!) 
62. Want:   A house 
63. Get married:  Already did. Wouldn't do it again. 
64. Career: At the moment I am in QA for a small cable company. I like it a lot here, been doing it for 3 years now. The company is good and its loyal to its employees and I could see myself sticking through here as my day job until I retire. What I really want to do though is make my own cartoons.

WHICH IS BETTER 
65. Hugs or kisses:   Depends on the situation 
66. Lips or eyes:   Eyes yes 
67. Shorter or taller:   I want either pocket sized or so tall I cant see where you end. There is no in between 
68. Older or younger: For what? I will be friends with anyone between the ages of 0-150 
70. Nice arms or nice stomach:   Nice stomach arms

71. Sensitive or loud:   Sensitive. Come at me with loud noises and I will yell at you (which defeats the purpose of being quiet) 
72. Hook up or relationship:   Relationships are nice cause they're stable but something about a hook up is hot af  
73. Troublemaker or hesitant:   I will see how much trouble can be tolerated without getting caught. I don't cross boundaries

HAVE YOU EVER: 
74. Kissed a stranger:   Yes. 28th birthday I did 
75. Drank hard liquor:  I plan to tonight 
76. Lost glasses/contact lenses:   Heaven help me if I ever lose my glasses. I am legally blind without them. 
77. Turned someone down:   Yarp. 
78. Sex in the first date:   Yeah. It was whatever 
79. Broken someone’s heart:  More than I care to admit 
80. Had your heart broken:   In a way that can never truly be mended (unrequited is the fucking worst) 
81. Been arrested: Thankfully no

82. Cried when someone died:  I cry when people across the planet die.   
83. Fallen for a friend:   Absolutely  

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 
84. Yourself:   Yeah I'm pretty cool sometimes. 
85. Miracles: I'm in the middle of questioning this. Try again later. 
86. Love at first sight:   That's silly. I believe in lust at first sight but love requires time 
87. Santa Claus:   I'm a Mom so yes. Its written in the parenting rule book you have to.   
88. Kiss in the first date: I kissed my husband on our first date. (and I tried to take him home but he said NO) 
89. Angels:   I believe in extradimentional contacts that have before been described as 'Angels'

OTHER: 
90. Current best friends name: Emma (my sister), Toni, (my other sister who I wish was my sister) 
91. Eye color:   Blue! and I was happy to have passed my mutation to my kids too (both their dads have brown eyes throughout their entire families) 
92. Favorite movie: MST3K: The Movie, Hot Fuzz, Pulp Fiction, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Three Amigos, I Heart Huckabees.

 And now for the fun part!: I tag @ashleyanthrax, @slickmedici, @midnight14, @time4teabeesknees and @sonderingtrashcompactor

 This is a long one so don't go out of your way if you dun wanna.

[mafiabosstsuna]

Get to know your admin!

Admin Name: Yamamoto  

1. If there were one word which was automatically to your name in Google searches, which word would you want it to be?

Precious

      2. What is a goal that you recently met?

  Survived the semester. Almost done.

3. What is your favorite time of day?

Night time. I tend to stay up until well into the night.

4. Name a celebrity you find attractive.

Jason Momoa sigh

5. What is one of the best pieces of advice you have ever received?

No one is looking at you so don’t be so self conscious.

6. What is the ultimate gesture of total trust?

Sharing your food

7. What is the best compliment you have ever received?

You’re one of the strongest people I know. I was legitly surprised.

8. What is something you have changed your mind about?

Going out all night. I use to hate it now it’s alright.

9. What is something you’ve never changed your mind about?

Peanuts are gross.

10. Rewrite the end of a fairy tale.

Snow White: She huddles in the corner as the old woman knocks on the window. No way she was talking to a stranger when she was already almost killed in the forest by a hunter.

11. Choose one: you will never misunderstand the meaning of what someone else is saying OR nobody will ever misunderstand what you say.

I will never misunderstand the meaning of what someone else says. I tend to overthink things a lot

12. If offered irreversible immortality, would you take it?

Nope. That’s a con with no refunds.

13. In your opinion, what are the most important qualities of a good friend?

Trust, Loyalty, humor

14. If you could be a founding member of a space colony, with the caveat that you would never be able to return to Earth, would you go?

No way. That sounds terrifying to me.

15. What is your favorite superpower? Why?

Weather manipulation. I love Storm. Always have always will.

16. If you were a book, which book would you be?

I don’t know a for dummies manuel book maybe

17. If you found out that your life was a book, and you met your author, what would you say to them?

Really? How boring can you make this get?

18. How would you prefer to die?

Quickly, and as I sleep.

19. What is your favorite paradox?

I don’t even know.

20. Tell us five facts about your first love, or, if you haven’t had one yet, invent the story of meeting your first love.

-He can make a mean cake.

-He’s really good at drawing.

-We first started talking about tv shows.

-Took me a week to get the courage to talk to him.

-He’s the one to introduce me to tumblr.

21. If you could live anywhere for a year, where would you live?

Switzerland. It just looks homey to me.

22. If you could visit anywhere for a week, where would you go?

Japan. Have to see it at least once.

23. You can only read one genre of books for the rest of your life. Which genre do you read?

Suspense

24. Define “love.”

Being completely comfortable

25. Define “justice.”

The right thing

26. Define “truth.”

Varies from person to person

27. Define “art.”

What you make it.

28. Define “good.”

Pleasant for everyone

29. Define “obscene.”

Not good for people

30. What one thing in the world would be hardest for you to give up?

My computer

31. What is one thing you regret?

Moving so far from my family.

32. What is something that you have done that you are proud of?

Organized a get together with some friends.

33. Is it easier to talk or to listen?

Listen

34. When are you vulnerable?

When attention is on me or I’m put on the spot.

35. If you met God, what would you say to God?

What was all of it for?

36. Would it be harder to tell someone you loved them if you weren’t sure how they would respond, or have to tell someone that you didn’t love them back?

Tell someone I don’t love them back. So awkward.

37. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them? Who were they to you?

Last week I told my mom.

38. What is your worst quality?

I undersell myself.

39. What is your best quality?

When I say I’ll do something I’ll do it.

40. What is your most immediately noticeable quality?

I look really approachable.

41. What is the first thing you notice about other people?

Their facial expression

42. Describe one of your closest friends, and explain why that person is such a close friend.

Short and bossy, but she’s great. She’s always there when I need her no matter what. I know no matter what happens she’ll always be my best friend.

43. What happened in the last dream you remember?

…I was being attacked by an enemy stand. No more jojo before bed.

44. What was your most memorable dream?

Someone kidnapped my sister and I had to go after them.

45. Two truths and a lie.

I’m allergic to nuts, I love coffee, I’m the second child.

46. If you were having a baby with the love of your life, and they insisted that the child be named after a place, what would you name your child?

Florence I guess.

47. What is the last lie you told?

Yes I’m on my way. As I laid in bed.

48. Is it possible for you to love someone you don’t trust?

No

49. What motivates you most?

The thought of disappointing someone.

50. What is your favorite narrative trope?

Anti hero. My weakness

51. Describe the ultimate dystopia.

The ruins of the previously prosperous society all around. No one trusts anyone so finding allies are few and far between and bound to end in betrayal. Many die due to violence and others of starvation or disease.

52. What story (book, movie, game, etc.) have you learned the most from?

A series of unfortunate events. Sometimes stuff happens it all depends how you deal with it.

53. What is something you wish other people could know about you without you having to tell them?

I’m just quiet.

54. Describe a moment you experienced something unexpectedly beautiful.

I was in my dorm room thinking about what I was going to eat and my roommate came in from cooking and sat a plate on my bed. I was so happy, and we hadn’t talked much so I was surprised. That plate of food was beautiful at that moment.

55. What is the biggest challenge you face when trying to form relationships with people?

Opening up and trusting people.

56. How close do you think your perception of yourself is to how other people perceive you?

Uhh 50-50 I guess

57. What is something you used to be afraid of, but aren’t anymore?

Dark.

58. What is the most important emotion?

Happiness

59. Do you think humans are any different than very advanced organic robots? If so, how?

Nope. Embrace the robot takeover.

60. If you had to move somewhere else, what would you miss most from where you are now?

Some friends I made here.

61. If you were a videogame character, what would your iconic weapon be?

Knockout gas

62. What is an aspect of your personality now that would come as a surprise to your younger self?

How comfortable I am with being alone.

63. If you could eliminate one event from the last month, which event would it be?

Saying no to that trip. D:

64. If you had to forget the entire last year except for one 24 hour period, which day would you chose to remember? (Other people would remember, and you would have anything you wrote down or recorded during that time period - you would just have a form of amnesia.)

The day my family and I went on vacation and had a dinner with our extended family.

65. What is the most upsetting thing anyone has ever said to you?

I really don’t like you. After they pretended to be my friend for years.

66. If you had to pick only one ideal or cause to work toward, what would it be?

To be happy and spread that happiness to everyone I come across.

67. Are there any unforgivable actions? What are they?

Being unnecessarily horrible, such as targeting people just to make yourself feel better.

68. Under what circumstances is keeping information secret acceptable or morally required?

When it will hurt someone badly.

69. What is one of your favorite ways to relax?

Watch a show or anime.

70. What is something you find difficult to talk about, even though you know you should?

My feelings.

71. What is an easy, default topic of conversation?

So what do you do?

72. What is your favorite sort of conversation?

About my interests and someone’s passion.

73. What is a version of you in an alternate reality doing right now?

I don’t know back at home going to start work soon.

74. What was the last adorable thing you saw?

A small dog ran up to me and barked I was both terrified and thought it was cute. It kept following me.

75. Would you prefer for people to hate you or for people to be completely indifferent to you?

Indifferent

76. Would you prefer to be yelled at or ignored?

Ignored

77. What is your favorite word and why?

Ain’t. Is that even a legit word? I use it all the time.

78. What is your dream job?

You know those food bloggers. That would be awesome.

79. What is the most difficult thing you’ve done this month?

One of my exams. Still not sure how I did.

80. When was the last time you were really scared?

When some guy followed me a ways to my dorm. I took off running and lost him.

81. What do you want most?

Comfortable life.

82. Describe an ideal day.

Waking up late then going to get lunch with some friends then going back to my room after and spending the rest of the day on the internet.

83. If you could speak to any real (non-fictional) person, living or dead for one hour, who would it be?

My Grandfather

84. In general, are you happy with the person you have become?

Yeah I like how I turned out but I could be better.

85. Do you want to be a parent?

Nope

86. What is something unusual about you that not a lot of people know?

I have periods of getting really into a hobby and then dropping it suddenly.

87. What makes you you?

How I try to be nice to everyone and enjoy my alone time a bit too much.

88. Are you lonelier when you’re with people or when you’re alone?

With people

89. What makes you feel safe?

Laying in my bed with the sounds of the night coming through my window.

90. What was the last bad decision you made?

Didn’t go with my friend on a trip.

91. Who is someone you have utmost respect for, and what is it about that person that makes you esteem them so highly?

My Dad. He wants what’s best for me and wants me to be the best I can be.

92. What was the last thing you laughed uncontrollably at?

A let’s play on youtube.

93. Your friend tells you that they are suicidal, and asks you not to tell anyone. Is it more of a betrayal to tell someone, or to keep silent?

Tell someone. I never been in that situation so I’d want someone else to help them since I wouldn’t know how.

94. What song speaks to you most? Why?

Ain’t it Fun. I don’t want to start life.

95. What basic values or principles do you turn to when faced with moral dilemmas?

Is it hurting anyone? Does everyone came out relatively unhurt?

96. If you had a tagline, what would it be?

Hahaha…. I was serious though…

97. If applicable, what do you look for in a romantic partner?

Humor, trust, loyalty

98. Who is your favorite author?

Don’t have one.

99. Who is the one person you know who is most similar to you (in terms of personality, beliefs, attitudes, mannerisms, etc)?

My best friend

100. What are you most excited about right now?

Going to see my friend soon!

[konnl]

Kelly Charron – Author of Horror, Psychological and Thriller Novels

This month’s guest is Kelly Charron. She is a horror writer whose work is also seen in psychological, thrillers and urban fantasy novels. She has an interest with all things murderous and gritty which is reflected in her writing.

Some of her work can be seen in her books Pretty Wicked and its sequel Wicked Fallout.  Let’s welcome Kelly to discuss her writing.

Hi Kelly Charron, thanks for joining us. Can you tell us a bit about yourself?

Thank you for having me. I’ve been writing for about 12 years now and am currently working on my fifth novel. I have a social work background and spent nearly four years working with at risk youth and young adults who were dealing with mental health, trauma, family and legal issues. I have since become an education assistant working with elementary school children. I live in the Vancouver area with my husband and spoiled cat. I love reading and writing thrillers, horror and urban fantasy for adults and teens.

Your novels Pretty Wicked and Wicked Fallout are murderous and gloomy, what steers you to writing darker fiction?

I don’t see them as gloomy at all actually. They are definitely dark but they are high energy rides. I also tend to use humor in my books. I’ve been told that my main character (and sometime serial killer, Ryann) is entertaining and sort of fun (possibly in the way Christian Bale’s character is in the film American Psycho, which was a comparison Pretty Wicked was given last year). I love exploring the darker side of life and delving into what makes some people disturbed. I actually really enjoyed writing Ryann. I obviously don’t agree with anything she does! In that sense, she is deplorable, but I like her humor and wit and the way she owns who she is. She was a fun character to write because she is so different to most characters out there. It’s like when you see a Hollywood actor discuss their favorite roles, they often say the villain roles were more fun and exciting to play than the standard hero. It’s no different for me as a writer. I wanted to write a different kind of book that hasn’t really been done before.

Have you always been writing thrillers and horrors, or are there other genres you have written in?

I have two YA urban fantasy novels, both suspense novels filled with witchcraft, the supernatural, and ghosts (other genre obsessions). I am currently working on a new thriller unrelated to the Pretty Wicked Series that I’m really excited about. I’d love to have a career where I can write in a few genres. It’s hard to pick one and never play outside that sandbox.

On your site, Wicked Fallout and Pretty Wicked are available and you mention two more series, Darkest Shadow and Wilde Magic that aren’t available, care to share more about these?

They are still works in progress. I have completed drafts (multiple versions actually) but Darkest Shadow is my first book and we know how those go for the most part. I’ve worked on it somewhat recently and would love to finesse it enough where it could leave the proverbial drawer. It’s still close to my heart and I love one of the characters, August, so much that I may have to rewrite it one more time to give her a bigger part. She’s the sidekick but somehow managed to become the best damn character in it.

Wilde Magic (working title) was written and turned out okay. But okay is not what I strive for. I knew something was missing but couldn’t figure out what. After some feedback from a few critique partners we figured out that some of the character dynamics and relationships were wrong. The two main characters had been written as friends. As soon as I made them enemies, it all came together. I have a new plot outline and have plans to work on it as soon as I have time. I can see it being a 4-6 book series. It’s sort of a mesh of two movies I love, The Skulls meets The Craft.

What is one genre you can’t ever see yourself writing?

This is easy. Hands down, Romance. I just can’t wrap my head around it. My writing friends always tease me because of my strong aversion to it and the resulting laughing fits some of them produce in me. I enjoy watching romantic comedies and love some romantic films (the Notebook is a favorite), but I can’t put my mind into the headspace needed to be able to write one. Saying that, I am trying to have romantic subplots in some of my work, but a full out romance will likely never happen.

What’s your biggest inspiration for writing?

Being around other writers. Seeing them passionate about what they’re working on always sparks excitement in me. It also never hurts when I get a tweet or email from a reader who has enjoyed a book. It makes me feel that writing (though I love doing it) is not wasted time because that person liked it enough to reach out and tell me. It means a lot. Great television and true crime stories also help. I’m inspired by captivating plot and story anywhere I see it.

Care to share what you are currently working on?

It’s in such an early stage that I can’t say too much. It centers around three women who have been friends since they were young. One of them is engaged and the three spend a night celebrating an intimate bachelorette party at a local pub. They split up, but two of them get a phone call the next morning from the fiancé saying that their friend never made it home. Her purse and keys are found on her front lawn, proof that she made it back, just never inside. It’s far more than a kidnapping story. I don’t want to give away the twists and turns (of which there are many) but there’s quite a bit of drama between the friends left behind. I’m exploring the idea of how well you really know the people in your life, including what they are actually capable of doing under the right, or wrong, circumstances.

Any final thoughts you’d like to share with us?

To write as much as possible and show trusted people your work because it’s the only way to improve. Having beta readers and critique partners is so valuable for growth as a writer. Being vulnerable and uncomfortable usually leads to the best results. We can’t always see our own story flaws because we are too close to it so getting an outside perspective is crucial to seeing how your work will actually be perceived by readers, and it might not align with your original intentions. Read a ton in and outside of your genre, go to conferences and workshops, and most of all, have fun.

Thanks for joining us Kelly! Kelly’s work can be found on her website and social media below:

Thanks for having me!

Website: http://kellycharron.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/KellyMCharron

Facebook: https://goo.gl/UNkH3g

Goodreads: https://goo.gl/rf4NlM

[dorothyd89]

You Are Flawed. And So Are Your Heroes.

My friend Mike was orphaned before he really got to know his parents.

Fortunately, he was was adopted and raised by a loving family. They didn’t have much, but they did whatever they could to provide for him. Despite growing up with these amazing people, Mike always felt like he didn’t belong.

He did what he could to hide his real feelings: that he’d never belong, that he’d always BE on the outside looking in, that nobody really appreciated him.

You see, the real version of Mike, the part he locked away inside, would terrify others. So he kept it bottled up and put on this act that everything is cool when inside he was deeply conflicted. I was fortunate enough to get to spend quality time with Mike, get to know him for who he really was, and I learned to accept all parts of him.

My other friend Jimmy is also an orphan surprisingly, though his path has been drastically different from Mike’s.

You see, Jimmy was born rich. Like, Scrooge McDuck rich. He WAS old enough to remember his parent’s accidental deaths, and it crushed him.  Although all of Jimmy’s needs were taken care of (thank you, life insurance policy), this environment and upbringing created some challenges.

I’ve known Jimmy for years, and it’s been tough to watch him work through layer up on layer of destructive, obsessive, rageaholic behavior.

Like many of us, Jimmy’s been searching for meaning his entire life – everything else has been handed to him, and it’s left him unfulfilled. Who could blame him? So he needs more, thinking this will fill the hole in his heart, at all times.

Despite all the money, and toys, and attractive women, and success, there’s one thing he’ll never have:

Enough.

He is hurting internally, and yet he feels like he can’t share this with anybody. After all, nobody wants to hear about the problems a very wealthy, good looking person has, right? “Those problems aren’t real! Try not being able to put food on the table for your family!”

I’ve known both Mike and Jimmy since I was a little kid, and have grown up with them.

Two orphans with tragic lives, two very different upbringings, and real internal pain and shame that they feel they can’t share with anybody.

These tales might sound vaguely familiar to you.

You see, Mike’s real name is Clark. Clark Kent. Better known as Superman.

And Jimmy? That’s Bruce Wayne. Better known as Batman.

Superheroes are flawed. That’s what makes them interesting.

We all have superheroes that we love and relate closely to.

Have you noticed something about the best characters? The ones that are written so convincingly that we can’t help to become deeply invested in them as people?

They have critical flaws and tons of baggage that often sabotage their own efforts. Although they are superhuman, they are – with the exception of Superman – human.

And that’s what makes them interesting.

Every superhero that’s worth a damn has a strong character flaw or weakness. Superman’s weakness is kryptonite, sure. But really it’s that he will always feel like an outsider and feels an overwhelming obsession to save people who don’t appreciate or understand him. Batman’s weakness is the fact that he’ll never be good enough, never sacrifice enough, and never save enough people. Enough is never enough.

Let’s go across the aisle to Marvel, and we’ll find similarly flawed characters in Wolverine, Nightcrawler, and Tony Stark’s Iron Man. These guys’ flaws are very plain to see, and it’s what makes us love them. Hell, even squeaky clean Captain America only really became interesting when he was rewritten with some edge and… gasp… flaws!

How about female heroes like Black Widow? Natasha Romanoff was raised and trained as a freaking assassin and will spend the rest of her existence trying to right the wrongs of her past.

We love these flawed superheroes, because it makes them relatable, vulnerable, and REAL. It gives them an identity; as readers of comics or viewers of a movie, we get to look inside these people and know that they feel real pain too, and we see parts of ourselves in them.

We accept two things:

These superheroes are fictional characters.

There are parts of them I can relate to and learn from.

We accept these characters for who they are, and know that their flaws don’t define them but in fact, have shaped them into who they are.

Why, then, don’t we do this with our real-life heroes and ourselves?

Our heroes have flaws too

Are you familiar with the term “feet of clay?”

It’s an old term that refers to the construction of a statue – no matter what the statue is made out of (gold, silver, etc) or how well it’s reinforced… if the statue has a flaw like clay feet, it’ll still topple over just the same when pushed.

In psychology terms, it’s a term used to describe when we meet our heroes and realize, despite an otherwise impressive statue, that just like us, at their base they’re flawed and imperfect. Although we accept flaws and chinks in the armor of our favorite superheroes, we are told “don’t meet your (real life) heroes”. Why? Because that’s when we’ll learn that they don’t live up to the impossibly high standards we have set for them – leading to disappointment.

But I would argue that meeting your heroes and learning they’re human is significantly more valuable than continuing to put them on a pedestal and assuming they’re perfect.

When we compare ourselves to the idealized, public facing versions of our heroes – be they a celebrity, a blogger, sports star, or writer – we feel like they’re so special and that we’re incapable of doing what they’ve done.

Wrong. Our heroes are just like our superheroes! They’re people with flaws and baggage and anxiety, and that’s what makes them both relatable and interesting.

It also means that we can learn from them. They ARE us.

Let me share an example from my own life:

Tim Ferriss, 4x New York Times best-selling author, podcast genius, and the guy who pretty much owned the term “life hacking” is known by many as one of the most productive and successful people on the planet. You might have heard one of Tim’s podcast episodes or read The Four Hour Workweek (which was the impetus for me starting Nerd Fitness), and told yourself enviously, “I wish I could be like Tim” or “I wish I had Tim’s life.”

I have said to this myself many times over the past decade.

You see, I had created a superhero version of Tim in my head that wasn’t accurate – I didn’t have the full picture. It wasn’t until I read Tim’s posts like “Some Practical Thoughts on Suicide” and “Productivity Tricks for the Neurotic, Manic-Depressive, and Crazy (Like Me)” that I could see Tim for who he really was: a dude who had been thrust into the spotlight, doing his best to deal with it while helping as many people as possible, and he’s also dealing with a lot of shit that most people aren’t aware of.

I know this was incredibly difficult for Tim to share publicly, and I applaud him for it – I bet many were disappointed that the man they aspire to be didn’t “have it all”.

I bet even more had a different thought, however: “Oh shit, you mean he doesn’t live a perfectly structured life every day? That he TOO has days where he can’t get out of bed and struggles with vulnerability and anxiety and imposter syndrome? Me too!”  

I had conversation recently with my friend Mark Manson, who writes and runs an absolutely fantastic blog at MarkManson.net – he’s also the best-selling author of incredible “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***.” He has a MASSIVE following (millions), has sold hundreds of thousands of copies of his book, and I can only imagine the amount of hero worship he gets on a daily basis. Mark told me about a guy who wanted to interview him for his “morning productivity hacks,” assuming Mark was superhuman and that his perfectly structured routines led to his success. Mark’s story made me laugh:

“Well, I wake up between 9 or 10AM, because I was up late playing Overwatch. And then I lie in bed and check Facebook and my email. Then I sit down at my computer, drink a Redbull and mess around and then try to get some meaningful work done. Sometimes it happens. A lot of the time it doesn’t.”

Your heroes don’t succeed because they don’t have flaws. They succeed in spite of their flaws, or BECAUSE of their “flaws”. I’m thankful to Mark and Tim for opening the door and showing people that their lives aren’t flawless – that they too are real people who sometimes have bad or unproductive days.

The point I’m trying to make is this: Your heroes are not perfect robots. They have messed-up lives, crippling anxiety, depression, and baggage, just like you. And they have found a way to move forward and achieve their goals.

The more we can look honestly at our heroes and realize they’re just like us, the more we have to look internally at our own flaws and own them…and then succeed in spite of them:

That “supermom” with 4 kids who stays in shape? She has flaws too and succeeds despite dealing with a formerly abusive husband and a fear of abandonment.

That guy at the gym you wish you looked like? He hates his home life and is hiding behind steroids and another set of bench presses to find his happiness.

That author who you wish you could be like? He’s a recovering alcoholic and writes to heal the pain in his heart from a lost child.

We all have baggage. Our superheroes. Our heroes. And ourselves.

Welcome to the club!

Unpack your Baggage: Guilt vs Shame

Brene Brown, vulnerability expert, author, and courageous woman whose TED talk has been viewed 28 million times, has become known for a very important topic:

The difference between guilt and shame.

When we eat bad food (or binge watch TV, or date a revolving door of men/women, or drink a case of beer, or pop a few pills) to escape, when we hide behind a mask of anger, lash out, or retreat further into isolation… it’s oftentimes due to shame and not knowing how to deal with it. As we’re unpacking our personal baggage and taking ownership of it, our reaction will fall into one of those two categories (guilt and shame).

One is significantly more constructive than the other.

In her words:

Shame is a focus on self, guilt is a focus on behavior. Shame is, “I am bad.” Guilt is, “I did something bad.” How many of you, if you did something that was hurtful to me, would be willing to say, “I’m sorry. I made a mistake?”

How many of you would be willing to say that? Guilt: I’m sorry. I made a mistake.

Shame: I’m sorry. I am a mistake.

Shame is highly, highly correlated with addiction, depression, violence, aggression, bullying, suicide, eating disorders. Here’s what you even need to know more: Guilt is inversely correlated with those things. The ability to hold something we’ve done, or failed to do, up against who we want to be is incredibly adaptive. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s adaptive.

Whatever has happened to you in the past; whether it was something you did or something that was done to you, please understand the difference between guilt and shame – apply your thoughts to the action, not your identity:

“I ate an entire pizza today and sabotaged my diet this weekend. I am a failure and a waste of space.” = shame. Not healthy.

“I ate an entire pizza today and sabotaged my diet this weekend. I can’t believe I did that. That was stupid of me.” = guilt. Healthy (though still painful).

Guilt can be constructive and uncomfortable, while shame can be destructive and cause us serious damage. When we’re shameful of our behavior, it can cause us to feel even more shame, and thus seek more quick fixes, or avoid the problem, or sink even deeper into a hole, which we then get ashamed of as well.

It’s a horrible feedback loop that we can get stuck in.

Remember, flaws are nothing to run away from or harbor shame for. Our heroes are flawed, and that makes them human.

So are you. And so am I.

Let’s own it.

I want you to say this to yourself: “No matter what I’ve done up to this point, I am deserving of love and happiness. I am NOT a lost cause. I will hit roadblocks and struggles and challenges, and make mistakes and screw up and do stupid things. I can forgive myself for those things, and move on from them. My heroes are flawed and broken, and so am I. If they can succeed, so can I.”  

Become your biggest fan. And then get to work by taking responsibility.

Take responsibility for your baggage

Just as we can forgive ourselves for actions we’ve taken, judgment-free and shame-free, we can take ownership of our baggage too. Just like our heroes, we must succeed despite our flaws and issues.

One of the articles I’m most proud of writing is about “Personal Responsibility,” the most important trait somebody can develop if they want to start living a better life.

Yes. The baggage that you carry around might be AWFUL:

You might have really unhealthy parents who taught you sugar was a food group.

You might have been in terrible, abusive relationships.

You might have been abandoned by one parent or both.

You might have been screwed out of a job you deserved.

You might have a horrible physical ailment or mental illness that is genetic.

You might have been born in a certain country, of a certain sex, or into a certain religion, that you didn’t choose and have struggled in today’s society as a result of.

Many of these things might not be your fault. Like Bruce or Clark, we are raised in a certain way and don’t get to pick our parents or our upbringing or the tragedies that have befallen us. We’re products of our environment and upbringing and genetics, and it all mixes together in a really weird way.

These things can cause us to feel shame about our place in life, retreating inward, lashing outward, and feeling like a victim or martyr who is doomed to stay stuck because ‘my problem is unique and unsolvable.’ We look for somebody to blame, and we assume our heroes are only where they are because they don’t have the problems we do. And so, we don’t take action, because “we can’t fix it” … the problem is somewhere else.

If you’ve spent any time on the internet lately, you know that victimhood of any kind is IN!

It’s where the money is. Controversy and outrage put asses in seats and bring traffic, page views, and advertising dollars. We’re constantly being reinforced and taught that anything in our life that offends us is somebody else’s problem (shame on them).

It’s that tiny voice in our head that is screaming (and being rewarded): “THEY NEED TO KNOW THEY HAVE OFFENDED ME. I FEEL WRONGED. WE MUST PUT THEM IN THEIR PLACE. IT’S NOT OUR FAULT.”

I don’t say this to make light of the real challenges many have faced, but rather highlight a growing epidemic that freezes us from taking action and improving our situation.

When the voices in people’s heads telling them “I am a victim” is being nurtured and reinforced, when every article or post is an opportunity to be offended and outraged, and when we’re lashing out because we are offended (for ourselves or others), it’s minimizing the impact and help needed for people who truly are victims and need help.

Now, readers of this blog get offended at me all the time and have NO problem chastising me! Telling people to move more, eat less, find more time in the day, build systems to set oneself up for success, prioritizing health, and minimizing distractions seems fairly straightforward and inoffensive.  

After all, these people chose to come to Nerd Fitness most likely because they’re looking for guidance on fixing part of their lives.

Regardless, we ALWAYS have people who rush to tell us how insulting the article was: they can’t change because of ___. And sure, they have a darn good reason or a serious problem they’re dealing with! But they’re choosing to be offended and insulted by our words while the other 99% of the population is choosing to say “okay, how can I apply this to my situation?”

All change comes from recognizing something we didn’t see before, and then changing our behavior because of this new insight. When we choose to see the world with this outrage/victim lens, we’re essentially solidifying the idea to ourselves that: There’s nothing I’m not seeing, there’s nothing I can do differently, the problem is somebody else’s. It does not apply to me.

Instead of CHOOSING this mentality, we need to take ownership for everything that has happened to us, both good and bad. This is a radical departure and a serious challenge that flies in the face of prevailing society these days.

The truth is this: you already have all of the tools you need to succeed/lose weight/make meaningful changes in your life.

That might be painful to read. That tiny voice in your head probably just yelled at me. If you can not react to that voice, and instead look at the situation without judgment, you can also decide that you don’t need anybody’s permission to change your mindset or your situation.

After all, the fact that you’re reading this means you are one of the luckiest individuals to exist in human history.

No, not the fact you are reading THIS article (I’m just a nerd who writes about Star Wars and push-ups in his underwear), but the fact that you exist in this year, 2017, with access to a computer and internet and modern marvels.

Life is AMAZING.

You don’t live in a cave! You have access to electricity! You most likely will not be eaten by a lion tomorrow! Or the next day!

The next part sucks, but it’s essential for growth: When you stop being outraged and assuming your problems are unique, and instead go: “Okay, this is the chaos I’m dealing with. What can I do about it?” you give yourself permission to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and take ownership.

There is somebody out there with your problems who has the life you want. This is great news. This is when change can happen.

You have everything you need to succeed already.

Accepting responsibility is tough as hell, because the alternative is WAY easier!

If we tell ourselves we’re a lost cause at getting in shape, it makes it easier to sit on the couch, play video games, and eat pizza.

If we tell ourselves that there are no good men or women to date, it makes it easier for us to justify not trying or potentially getting hurt, not being social, suffering through a lot of bad first dates, and instead sitting at home on a Friday. 

If we tell ourselves there are no good jobs out there, it makes it easier for us to blame Obama/Trump, the economy, and stay on unemployment or living with our parents and stop sending out resumes.

Did one of those sentences above made you angry? Maybe even… outraged? That little voice is saying, “HOW DARE YOU STEVE. You’re wrong because [reason I’ve been telling myself for years].

We tell ourselves these stories to stay safe and stay in our comfortable misery. We get offended so that we can pass responsibility onto others and justify inaction or failure.  

As I said before, it might not be your fault that something has happened to you, but it’s time to realize that it’s your responsibility to deal with it. Mark Manson said it best in his book:

“a baby showing up on your doorstep certainly isn’t your fault, but suddenly it’s your responsibility to deal with it.”

What if you lived life as if everything was your responsibility to deal with?

I recently had a conversation with a long-time member of the Nerd Fitness community. He let me know that he was disappointed in Nerd Fitness, because after four years he was still unhealthy and overweight because I hadn’t written anything that had inspired him to change yet.

I knew the guy well enough and replied, “Hey man, we all have baggage. You’ve been waiting around for four years and nothing I’ve written has motivated you to change…maybe we’re not the problem? You have all the tools you need and a supportive community. Have you given yourself permission to take responsibility for your success? What specific action are you taking today to improve yourself?”

He got very mad at me and told me off, only to email back a month later with a “You’re right. I know what I need to do, and I’ve been using my medical condition as an excuse. I’m going to take a more active role in my health.”

Bruce Wayne didn’t choose to have his parents killed. Neither did Clark Kent. Natasha Romanoff was brainwashed at a very young age to become an assassin, and she has to atone for that for the rest of her life.

You probably didn’t choose to have [very real problem] or [genetic condition] or [serious obstacle] or [life altering challenge] happen.

But if you stop being outraged, stop deciding you’re a victim, and instead operate under the philosophy that your life as it is right now is 100% your responsibility to deal with, that you are not owed ANYTHING, then you can also realize that you already have EVERYTHING you need to take action on the problem.

I’m already prepared for responses from people who skim this article, with their defensive shields already up, saying things like: “Steve this is very insulting and you don’t understand, because you are [blank] and [blank] and [age]. Shame on you, and I’m offended because [this reason] and [this reason] and you can’t possibly know what I’m going through. I can’t [lose weight/change/get out of this relationship/eat better] because [valid reason].”

These are often the people with the most to gain if they realize they have ALL the tools (and the responsibility) to start dealing with it RIGHT NOW. That many people have succeeded in similar situations as them. That their problems are not unique. Which means it IS solvable.

If this sounds like you, stop taking pride in your baggage, stop proudly being the victim/martyr subconsciously. Instead of indignant, outraged, and unhappy, be responsible.

It’s what our heroes do.  

We all have flaws. We all also have super powers.

Here in the Nerd Fitness Rebellion, we are all disasters. We all feel shame. We all feel guilty.

We are all broken.

Welcome to the island of misfit toys.

Like any motley collection of superheroes, we all have baggage that keeps things interesting. At the same time, just like the X-men, or the Avengers, or the Justice League… along with those flaws we also have superpowers.

Things we can do that nobody else can. Things that we’re better at than others without thinking about it. It might be compassion, empathy, humor, or inclusiveness. It might be a knack for a certain skill or aptitude. Things that if we spent more time focused on, it would make our lives better and the world will be better.

Regardless of how many bags you’ve packed to come here, welcome!

This is a community where you get to be yourself, where you can learn the difference between shame and guilt, and it’s okay to be vulnerable while you work through your shit.

We forgive ourselves.

We know we’re human and that no action we take is something that permanently defines us. Like any superhero, our journey is long and winding, and we have to find our way through the darkness.

We also accept personal responsibility for our place in life and our future.

It might not be our fault where we are right now, but it’s our responsibility to deal with. We choose to not get offended and not to use that to be a victim or martyr. We know that everything is written to offend or to make people feel like victims, and we’re going to stop letting this rule us.

We choose to allocate our brain power to better things.

If this article made you offended and angry and you want to yell me at me for not understanding your particular situation because I’m A, B, and C and you’re X, Y, and Z, no worries! Take a break. We’ll be here if you change your mind in the future.

If you’re ready, willing, and able to accept responsibility, judgment free, for where you are in life…

Welcome to the Rebellion.

You have what you need. You don’t need somebody else’s permission to start. You can choose to stop being a victim. You can be your own hero. And we’re here to support you on that journey. You can solve your own problems, and we’ll be your sidekick cast of supporting heroes ready to step up at every turn.

If you’re in, I’d love to hear from you below:

What’s one thing you’ve felt shame over that you can re-attribute to non-judgmental guilt: “I did that thing. I can work on that.”

What’s one thing you’ve felt victimized by in the past that has kept you prisoner, and how can you accept responsibility for dealing with it?

What is your superpower? What’s something that you do really, really freaking well? That you can succeed with despite the other parts of you?  

-Steve

###

Photo: Daniel Kulinski: Crack, Miguel Discart: Hero Shelf

http://ift.tt/2jtzbD0 http://ift.tt/2k6483v

http://ift.tt/2jkCX0l http://ift.tt/2jet2OR http://ift.tt/2kFptS2

[dorothyd89]

You Are Flawed. And So Are Your Heroes.

My friend Mike was orphaned before he really got to know his parents.

Fortunately, he was was adopted and raised by a loving family. They didn’t have much, but they did whatever they could to provide for him. Despite growing up with these amazing people, Mike always felt like he didn’t belong.

He did what he could to hide his real feelings: that he’d never belong, that he’d always BE on the outside looking in, that nobody really appreciated him.

You see, the real version of Mike, the part he locked away inside, would terrify others. So he kept it bottled up and put on this act that everything is cool when inside he was deeply conflicted. I was fortunate enough to get to spend quality time with Mike, get to know him for who he really was, and I learned to accept all parts of him.

My other friend Jimmy is also an orphan surprisingly, though his path has been drastically different from Mike’s.

You see, Jimmy was born rich. Like, Scrooge McDuck rich. He WAS old enough to remember his parent’s accidental deaths, and it crushed him.  Although all of Jimmy’s needs were taken care of (thank you, life insurance policy), this environment and upbringing created some challenges.

I’ve known Jimmy for years, and it’s been tough to watch him work through layer up on layer of destructive, obsessive, rageaholic behavior.

Like many of us, Jimmy’s been searching for meaning his entire life – everything else has been handed to him, and it’s left him unfulfilled. Who could blame him? So he needs more, thinking this will fill the hole in his heart, at all times.

Despite all the money, and toys, and attractive women, and success, there’s one thing he’ll never have:

Enough.

He is hurting internally, and yet he feels like he can’t share this with anybody. After all, nobody wants to hear about the problems a very wealthy, good looking person has, right? “Those problems aren’t real! Try not being able to put food on the table for your family!”

I’ve known both Mike and Jimmy since I was a little kid, and have grown up with them.

Two orphans with tragic lives, two very different upbringings, and real internal pain and shame that they feel they can’t share with anybody.

These tales might sound vaguely familiar to you.

You see, Mike’s real name is Clark. Clark Kent. Better known as Superman.

And Jimmy? That’s Bruce Wayne. Better known as Batman.

Superheroes are flawed. That’s what makes them interesting.

We all have superheroes that we love and relate closely to.

Have you noticed something about the best characters? The ones that are written so convincingly that we can’t help to become deeply invested in them as people?

They have critical flaws and tons of baggage that often sabotage their own efforts. Although they are superhuman, they are – with the exception of Superman – human.

And that’s what makes them interesting.

Every superhero that’s worth a damn has a strong character flaw or weakness. Superman’s weakness is kryptonite, sure. But really it’s that he will always feel like an outsider and feels an overwhelming obsession to save people who don’t appreciate or understand him. Batman’s weakness is the fact that he’ll never be good enough, never sacrifice enough, and never save enough people. Enough is never enough.

Let’s go across the aisle to Marvel, and we’ll find similarly flawed characters in Wolverine, Nightcrawler, and Tony Stark’s Iron Man. These guys’ flaws are very plain to see, and it’s what makes us love them. Hell, even squeaky clean Captain America only really became interesting when he was rewritten with some edge and… gasp… flaws!

How about female heroes like Black Widow? Natasha Romanoff was raised and trained as a freaking assassin and will spend the rest of her existence trying to right the wrongs of her past.

We love these flawed superheroes, because it makes them relatable, vulnerable, and REAL. It gives them an identity; as readers of comics or viewers of a movie, we get to look inside these people and know that they feel real pain too, and we see parts of ourselves in them.

We accept two things:

These superheroes are fictional characters.

There are parts of them I can relate to and learn from.

We accept these characters for who they are, and know that their flaws don’t define them but in fact, have shaped them into who they are.

Why, then, don’t we do this with our real-life heroes and ourselves?

Our heroes have flaws too

Are you familiar with the term “feet of clay?”

It’s an old term that refers to the construction of a statue – no matter what the statue is made out of (gold, silver, etc) or how well it’s reinforced… if the statue has a flaw like clay feet, it’ll still topple over just the same when pushed.

In psychology terms, it’s a term used to describe when we meet our heroes and realize, despite an otherwise impressive statue, that just like us, at their base they’re flawed and imperfect. Although we accept flaws and chinks in the armor of our favorite superheroes, we are told “don’t meet your (real life) heroes”. Why? Because that’s when we’ll learn that they don’t live up to the impossibly high standards we have set for them – leading to disappointment.

But I would argue that meeting your heroes and learning they’re human is significantly more valuable than continuing to put them on a pedestal and assuming they’re perfect.

When we compare ourselves to the idealized, public facing versions of our heroes – be they a celebrity, a blogger, sports star, or writer – we feel like they’re so special and that we’re incapable of doing what they’ve done.

Wrong. Our heroes are just like our superheroes! They’re people with flaws and baggage and anxiety, and that’s what makes them both relatable and interesting.

It also means that we can learn from them. They ARE us.

Let me share an example from my own life:

Tim Ferriss, 4x New York Times best-selling author, podcast genius, and the guy who pretty much owned the term “life hacking” is known by many as one of the most productive and successful people on the planet. You might have heard one of Tim’s podcast episodes or read The Four Hour Workweek (which was the impetus for me starting Nerd Fitness), and told yourself enviously, “I wish I could be like Tim” or “I wish I had Tim’s life.”

I have said to this myself many times over the past decade.

You see, I had created a superhero version of Tim in my head that wasn’t accurate – I didn’t have the full picture. It wasn’t until I read Tim’s posts like “Some Practical Thoughts on Suicide” and “Productivity Tricks for the Neurotic, Manic-Depressive, and Crazy (Like Me)” that I could see Tim for who he really was: a dude who had been thrust into the spotlight, doing his best to deal with it while helping as many people as possible, and he’s also dealing with a lot of shit that most people aren’t aware of.

I know this was incredibly difficult for Tim to share publicly, and I applaud him for it – I bet many were disappointed that the man they aspire to be didn’t “have it all”.

I bet even more had a different thought, however: “Oh shit, you mean he doesn’t live a perfectly structured life every day? That he TOO has days where he can’t get out of bed and struggles with vulnerability and anxiety and imposter syndrome? Me too!”  

I had conversation recently with my friend Mark Manson, who writes and runs an absolutely fantastic blog at MarkManson.net – he’s also the best-selling author of incredible “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***.” He has a MASSIVE following (millions), has sold hundreds of thousands of copies of his book, and I can only imagine the amount of hero worship he gets on a daily basis. Mark told me about a guy who wanted to interview him for his “morning productivity hacks,” assuming Mark was superhuman and that his perfectly structured routines led to his success. Mark’s story made me laugh:

“Well, I wake up between 9 or 10AM, because I was up late playing Overwatch. And then I lie in bed and check Facebook and my email. Then I sit down at my computer, drink a Redbull and mess around and then try to get some meaningful work done. Sometimes it happens. A lot of the time it doesn’t.”

Your heroes don’t succeed because they don’t have flaws. They succeed in spite of their flaws, or BECAUSE of their “flaws”. I’m thankful to Mark and Tim for opening the door and showing people that their lives aren’t flawless – that they too are real people who sometimes have bad or unproductive days.

The point I’m trying to make is this: Your heroes are not perfect robots. They have messed-up lives, crippling anxiety, depression, and baggage, just like you. And they have found a way to move forward and achieve their goals.

The more we can look honestly at our heroes and realize they’re just like us, the more we have to look internally at our own flaws and own them…and then succeed in spite of them:

That “supermom” with 4 kids who stays in shape? She has flaws too and succeeds despite dealing with a formerly abusive husband and a fear of abandonment.

That guy at the gym you wish you looked like? He hates his home life and is hiding behind steroids and another set of bench presses to find his happiness.

That author who you wish you could be like? He’s a recovering alcoholic and writes to heal the pain in his heart from a lost child.

We all have baggage. Our superheroes. Our heroes. And ourselves.

Welcome to the club!

Unpack your Baggage: Guilt vs Shame

Brene Brown, vulnerability expert, author, and courageous woman whose TED talk has been viewed 28 million times, has become known for a very important topic:

The difference between guilt and shame.

When we eat bad food (or binge watch TV, or date a revolving door of men/women, or drink a case of beer, or pop a few pills) to escape, when we hide behind a mask of anger, lash out, or retreat further into isolation… it’s oftentimes due to shame and not knowing how to deal with it. As we’re unpacking our personal baggage and taking ownership of it, our reaction will fall into one of those two categories (guilt and shame).

One is significantly more constructive than the other.

In her words:

Shame is a focus on self, guilt is a focus on behavior. Shame is, “I am bad.” Guilt is, “I did something bad.” How many of you, if you did something that was hurtful to me, would be willing to say, “I’m sorry. I made a mistake?”

How many of you would be willing to say that? Guilt: I’m sorry. I made a mistake.

Shame: I’m sorry. I am a mistake.

Shame is highly, highly correlated with addiction, depression, violence, aggression, bullying, suicide, eating disorders. Here’s what you even need to know more: Guilt is inversely correlated with those things. The ability to hold something we’ve done, or failed to do, up against who we want to be is incredibly adaptive. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s adaptive.

Whatever has happened to you in the past; whether it was something you did or something that was done to you, please understand the difference between guilt and shame – apply your thoughts to the action, not your identity:

“I ate an entire pizza today and sabotaged my diet this weekend. I am a failure and a waste of space.” = shame. Not healthy.

“I ate an entire pizza today and sabotaged my diet this weekend. I can’t believe I did that. That was stupid of me.” = guilt. Healthy (though still painful).

Guilt can be constructive and uncomfortable, while shame can be destructive and cause us serious damage. When we’re shameful of our behavior, it can cause us to feel even more shame, and thus seek more quick fixes, or avoid the problem, or sink even deeper into a hole, which we then get ashamed of as well.

It’s a horrible feedback loop that we can get stuck in.

Remember, flaws are nothing to run away from or harbor shame for. Our heroes are flawed, and that makes them human.

So are you. And so am I.

Let’s own it.

I want you to say this to yourself: “No matter what I’ve done up to this point, I am deserving of love and happiness. I am NOT a lost cause. I will hit roadblocks and struggles and challenges, and make mistakes and screw up and do stupid things. I can forgive myself for those things, and move on from them. My heroes are flawed and broken, and so am I. If they can succeed, so can I.”  

Become your biggest fan. And then get to work by taking responsibility.

Take responsibility for your baggage

Just as we can forgive ourselves for actions we’ve taken, judgment-free and shame-free, we can take ownership of our baggage too. Just like our heroes, we must succeed despite our flaws and issues.

One of the articles I’m most proud of writing is about “Personal Responsibility,” the most important trait somebody can develop if they want to start living a better life.

Yes. The baggage that you carry around might be AWFUL:

You might have really unhealthy parents who taught you sugar was a food group.

You might have been in terrible, abusive relationships.

You might have been abandoned by one parent or both.

You might have been screwed out of a job you deserved.

You might have a horrible physical ailment or mental illness that is genetic.

You might have been born in a certain country, of a certain sex, or into a certain religion, that you didn’t choose and have struggled in today’s society as a result of.

Many of these things might not be your fault. Like Bruce or Clark, we are raised in a certain way and don’t get to pick our parents or our upbringing or the tragedies that have befallen us. We’re products of our environment and upbringing and genetics, and it all mixes together in a really weird way.

These things can cause us to feel shame about our place in life, retreating inward, lashing outward, and feeling like a victim or martyr who is doomed to stay stuck because ‘my problem is unique and unsolvable.’ We look for somebody to blame, and we assume our heroes are only where they are because they don’t have the problems we do. And so, we don’t take action, because “we can’t fix it” … the problem is somewhere else.

If you’ve spent any time on the internet lately, you know that victimhood of any kind is IN!

It’s where the money is. Controversy and outrage put asses in seats and bring traffic, page views, and advertising dollars. We’re constantly being reinforced and taught that anything in our life that offends us is somebody else’s problem (shame on them).

It’s that tiny voice in our head that is screaming (and being rewarded): “THEY NEED TO KNOW THEY HAVE OFFENDED ME. I FEEL WRONGED. WE MUST PUT THEM IN THEIR PLACE. IT’S NOT OUR FAULT.”

I don’t say this to make light of the real challenges many have faced, but rather highlight a growing epidemic that freezes us from taking action and improving our situation.

When the voices in people’s heads telling them “I am a victim” is being nurtured and reinforced, when every article or post is an opportunity to be offended and outraged, and when we’re lashing out because we are offended (for ourselves or others), it’s minimizing the impact and help needed for people who truly are victims and need help.

Now, readers of this blog get offended at me all the time and have NO problem chastising me! Telling people to move more, eat less, find more time in the day, build systems to set oneself up for success, prioritizing health, and minimizing distractions seems fairly straightforward and inoffensive.  

After all, these people chose to come to Nerd Fitness most likely because they’re looking for guidance on fixing part of their lives.

Regardless, we ALWAYS have people who rush to tell us how insulting the article was: they can’t change because of ___. And sure, they have a darn good reason or a serious problem they’re dealing with! But they’re choosing to be offended and insulted by our words while the other 99% of the population is choosing to say “okay, how can I apply this to my situation?”

All change comes from recognizing something we didn’t see before, and then changing our behavior because of this new insight. When we choose to see the world with this outrage/victim lens, we’re essentially solidifying the idea to ourselves that: There’s nothing I’m not seeing, there’s nothing I can do differently, the problem is somebody else’s. It does not apply to me.

Instead of CHOOSING this mentality, we need to take ownership for everything that has happened to us, both good and bad. This is a radical departure and a serious challenge that flies in the face of prevailing society these days.

The truth is this: you already have all of the tools you need to succeed/lose weight/make meaningful changes in your life.

That might be painful to read. That tiny voice in your head probably just yelled at me. If you can not react to that voice, and instead look at the situation without judgment, you can also decide that you don’t need anybody’s permission to change your mindset or your situation.

After all, the fact that you’re reading this means you are one of the luckiest individuals to exist in human history.

No, not the fact you are reading THIS article (I’m just a nerd who writes about Star Wars and push-ups in his underwear), but the fact that you exist in this year, 2017, with access to a computer and internet and modern marvels.

Life is AMAZING.

You don’t live in a cave! You have access to electricity! You most likely will not be eaten by a lion tomorrow! Or the next day!

The next part sucks, but it’s essential for growth: When you stop being outraged and assuming your problems are unique, and instead go: “Okay, this is the chaos I’m dealing with. What can I do about it?” you give yourself permission to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and take ownership.

There is somebody out there with your problems who has the life you want. This is great news. This is when change can happen.

You have everything you need to succeed already.

Accepting responsibility is tough as hell, because the alternative is WAY easier!

If we tell ourselves we’re a lost cause at getting in shape, it makes it easier to sit on the couch, play video games, and eat pizza.

If we tell ourselves that there are no good men or women to date, it makes it easier for us to justify not trying or potentially getting hurt, not being social, suffering through a lot of bad first dates, and instead sitting at home on a Friday. 

If we tell ourselves there are no good jobs out there, it makes it easier for us to blame Obama/Trump, the economy, and stay on unemployment or living with our parents and stop sending out resumes.

Did one of those sentences above made you angry? Maybe even… outraged? That little voice is saying, “HOW DARE YOU STEVE. You’re wrong because [reason I’ve been telling myself for years].

We tell ourselves these stories to stay safe and stay in our comfortable misery. We get offended so that we can pass responsibility onto others and justify inaction or failure.  

As I said before, it might not be your fault that something has happened to you, but it’s time to realize that it’s your responsibility to deal with it. Mark Manson said it best in his book:

“a baby showing up on your doorstep certainly isn’t your fault, but suddenly it’s your responsibility to deal with it.”

What if you lived life as if everything was your responsibility to deal with?

I recently had a conversation with a long-time member of the Nerd Fitness community. He let me know that he was disappointed in Nerd Fitness, because after four years he was still unhealthy and overweight because I hadn’t written anything that had inspired him to change yet.

I knew the guy well enough and replied, “Hey man, we all have baggage. You’ve been waiting around for four years and nothing I’ve written has motivated you to change…maybe we’re not the problem? You have all the tools you need and a supportive community. Have you given yourself permission to take responsibility for your success? What specific action are you taking today to improve yourself?”

He got very mad at me and told me off, only to email back a month later with a “You’re right. I know what I need to do, and I’ve been using my medical condition as an excuse. I’m going to take a more active role in my health.”

Bruce Wayne didn’t choose to have his parents killed. Neither did Clark Kent. Natasha Romanoff was brainwashed at a very young age to become an assassin, and she has to atone for that for the rest of her life.

You probably didn’t choose to have [very real problem] or [genetic condition] or [serious obstacle] or [life altering challenge] happen.

But if you stop being outraged, stop deciding you’re a victim, and instead operate under the philosophy that your life as it is right now is 100% your responsibility to deal with, that you are not owed ANYTHING, then you can also realize that you already have EVERYTHING you need to take action on the problem.

I’m already prepared for responses from people who skim this article, with their defensive shields already up, saying things like: “Steve this is very insulting and you don’t understand, because you are [blank] and [blank] and [age]. Shame on you, and I’m offended because [this reason] and [this reason] and you can’t possibly know what I’m going through. I can’t [lose weight/change/get out of this relationship/eat better] because [valid reason].”

These are often the people with the most to gain if they realize they have ALL the tools (and the responsibility) to start dealing with it RIGHT NOW. That many people have succeeded in similar situations as them. That their problems are not unique. Which means it IS solvable.

If this sounds like you, stop taking pride in your baggage, stop proudly being the victim/martyr subconsciously. Instead of indignant, outraged, and unhappy, be responsible.

It’s what our heroes do.  

We all have flaws. We all also have super powers.

Here in the Nerd Fitness Rebellion, we are all disasters. We all feel shame. We all feel guilty.

We are all broken.

Welcome to the island of misfit toys.

Like any motley collection of superheroes, we all have baggage that keeps things interesting. At the same time, just like the X-men, or the Avengers, or the Justice League… along with those flaws we also have superpowers.

Things we can do that nobody else can. Things that we’re better at than others without thinking about it. It might be compassion, empathy, humor, or inclusiveness. It might be a knack for a certain skill or aptitude. Things that if we spent more time focused on, it would make our lives better and the world will be better.

Regardless of how many bags you’ve packed to come here, welcome!

This is a community where you get to be yourself, where you can learn the difference between shame and guilt, and it’s okay to be vulnerable while you work through your shit.

We forgive ourselves.

We know we’re human and that no action we take is something that permanently defines us. Like any superhero, our journey is long and winding, and we have to find our way through the darkness.

We also accept personal responsibility for our place in life and our future.

It might not be our fault where we are right now, but it’s our responsibility to deal with. We choose to not get offended and not to use that to be a victim or martyr. We know that everything is written to offend or to make people feel like victims, and we’re going to stop letting this rule us.

We choose to allocate our brain power to better things.

If this article made you offended and angry and you want to yell me at me for not understanding your particular situation because I’m A, B, and C and you’re X, Y, and Z, no worries! Take a break. We’ll be here if you change your mind in the future.

If you’re ready, willing, and able to accept responsibility, judgment free, for where you are in life…

Welcome to the Rebellion.

You have what you need. You don’t need somebody else’s permission to start. You can choose to stop being a victim. You can be your own hero. And we’re here to support you on that journey. You can solve your own problems, and we’ll be your sidekick cast of supporting heroes ready to step up at every turn.

If you’re in, I’d love to hear from you below:

What’s one thing you’ve felt shame over that you can re-attribute to non-judgmental guilt: “I did that thing. I can work on that.”

What’s one thing you’ve felt victimized by in the past that has kept you prisoner, and how can you accept responsibility for dealing with it?

What is your superpower? What’s something that you do really, really freaking well? That you can succeed with despite the other parts of you?  

-Steve

###

Photo: Daniel Kulinski: Crack, Miguel Discart: Hero Shelf

http://ift.tt/2jtzbD0 http://ift.tt/2k6483v

http://ift.tt/2jkCX0l http://ift.tt/2jet2OR

[dorothyd89]

You Are Flawed. And So Are Your Heroes.

My friend Mike was orphaned before he really got to know his parents.

Fortunately, he was was adopted and raised by a loving family. They didn’t have much, but they did whatever they could to provide for him. Despite growing up with these amazing people, Mike always felt like he didn’t belong.

He did what he could to hide his real feelings: that he’d never belong, that he’d always BE on the outside looking in, that nobody really appreciated him.

You see, the real version of Mike, the part he locked away inside, would terrify others. So he kept it bottled up and put on this act that everything is cool when inside he was deeply conflicted. I was fortunate enough to get to spend quality time with Mike, get to know him for who he really was, and I learned to accept all parts of him.

My other friend Jimmy is also an orphan surprisingly, though his path has been drastically different from Mike’s.

You see, Jimmy was born rich. Like, Scrooge McDuck rich. He WAS old enough to remember his parent’s accidental deaths, and it crushed him.  Although all of Jimmy’s needs were taken care of (thank you, life insurance policy), this environment and upbringing created some challenges.

I’ve known Jimmy for years, and it’s been tough to watch him work through layer up on layer of destructive, obsessive, rageaholic behavior.

Like many of us, Jimmy’s been searching for meaning his entire life – everything else has been handed to him, and it’s left him unfulfilled. Who could blame him? So he needs more, thinking this will fill the hole in his heart, at all times.

Despite all the money, and toys, and attractive women, and success, there’s one thing he’ll never have:

Enough.

He is hurting internally, and yet he feels like he can’t share this with anybody. After all, nobody wants to hear about the problems a very wealthy, good looking person has, right? “Those problems aren’t real! Try not being able to put food on the table for your family!”

I’ve known both Mike and Jimmy since I was a little kid, and have grown up with them.

Two orphans with tragic lives, two very different upbringings, and real internal pain and shame that they feel they can’t share with anybody.

These tales might sound vaguely familiar to you.

You see, Mike’s real name is Clark. Clark Kent. Better known as Superman.

And Jimmy? That’s Bruce Wayne. Better known as Batman.

Superheroes are flawed. That’s what makes them interesting.

We all have superheroes that we love and relate closely to.

Have you noticed something about the best characters? The ones that are written so convincingly that we can’t help to become deeply invested in them as people?

They have critical flaws and tons of baggage that often sabotage their own efforts. Although they are superhuman, they are – with the exception of Superman – human.

And that’s what makes them interesting.

Every superhero that’s worth a damn has a strong character flaw or weakness. Superman’s weakness is kryptonite, sure. But really it’s that he will always feel like an outsider and feels an overwhelming obsession to save people who don’t appreciate or understand him. Batman’s weakness is the fact that he’ll never be good enough, never sacrifice enough, and never save enough people. Enough is never enough.

Let’s go across the aisle to Marvel, and we’ll find similarly flawed characters in Wolverine, Nightcrawler, and Tony Stark’s Iron Man. These guys’ flaws are very plain to see, and it’s what makes us love them. Hell, even squeaky clean Captain America only really became interesting when he was rewritten with some edge and… gasp… flaws!

How about female heroes like Black Widow? Natasha Romanoff was raised and trained as a freaking assassin and will spend the rest of her existence trying to right the wrongs of her past.

We love these flawed superheroes, because it makes them relatable, vulnerable, and REAL. It gives them an identity; as readers of comics or viewers of a movie, we get to look inside these people and know that they feel real pain too, and we see parts of ourselves in them.

We accept two things:

These superheroes are fictional characters.

There are parts of them I can relate to and learn from.

We accept these characters for who they are, and know that their flaws don’t define them but in fact, have shaped them into who they are.

Why, then, don’t we do this with our real-life heroes and ourselves?

Our heroes have flaws too

Are you familiar with the term “feet of clay?”

It’s an old term that refers to the construction of a statue – no matter what the statue is made out of (gold, silver, etc) or how well it’s reinforced… if the statue has a flaw like clay feet, it’ll still topple over just the same when pushed.

In psychology terms, it’s a term used to describe when we meet our heroes and realize, despite an otherwise impressive statue, that just like us, at their base they’re flawed and imperfect. Although we accept flaws and chinks in the armor of our favorite superheroes, we are told “don’t meet your (real life) heroes”. Why? Because that’s when we’ll learn that they don’t live up to the impossibly high standards we have set for them – leading to disappointment.

But I would argue that meeting your heroes and learning they’re human is significantly more valuable than continuing to put them on a pedestal and assuming they’re perfect.

When we compare ourselves to the idealized, public facing versions of our heroes – be they a celebrity, a blogger, sports star, or writer – we feel like they’re so special and that we’re incapable of doing what they’ve done.

Wrong. Our heroes are just like our superheroes! They’re people with flaws and baggage and anxiety, and that’s what makes them both relatable and interesting.

It also means that we can learn from them. They ARE us.

Let me share an example from my own life:

Tim Ferriss, 4x New York Times best-selling author, podcast genius, and the guy who pretty much owned the term “life hacking” is known by many as one of the most productive and successful people on the planet. You might have heard one of Tim’s podcast episodes or read The Four Hour Workweek (which was the impetus for me starting Nerd Fitness), and told yourself enviously, “I wish I could be like Tim” or “I wish I had Tim’s life.”

I have said to this myself many times over the past decade.

You see, I had created a superhero version of Tim in my head that wasn’t accurate – I didn’t have the full picture. It wasn’t until I read Tim’s posts like “Some Practical Thoughts on Suicide” and “Productivity Tricks for the Neurotic, Manic-Depressive, and Crazy (Like Me)” that I could see Tim for who he really was: a dude who had been thrust into the spotlight, doing his best to deal with it while helping as many people as possible, and he’s also dealing with a lot of shit that most people aren’t aware of.

I know this was incredibly difficult for Tim to share publicly, and I applaud him for it – I bet many were disappointed that the man they aspire to be didn’t “have it all”.

I bet even more had a different thought, however: “Oh shit, you mean he doesn’t live a perfectly structured life every day? That he TOO has days where he can’t get out of bed and struggles with vulnerability and anxiety and imposter syndrome? Me too!”  

I had conversation recently with my friend Mark Manson, who writes and runs an absolutely fantastic blog at MarkManson.net – he’s also the best-selling author of incredible “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***.” He has a MASSIVE following (millions), has sold hundreds of thousands of copies of his book, and I can only imagine the amount of hero worship he gets on a daily basis. Mark told me about a guy who wanted to interview him for his “morning productivity hacks,” assuming Mark was superhuman and that his perfectly structured routines led to his success. Mark’s story made me laugh:

“Well, I wake up between 9 or 10AM, because I was up late playing Overwatch. And then I lie in bed and check Facebook and my email. Then I sit down at my computer, drink a Redbull and mess around and then try to get some meaningful work done. Sometimes it happens. A lot of the time it doesn’t.”

Your heroes don’t succeed because they don’t have flaws. They succeed in spite of their flaws, or BECAUSE of their “flaws”. I’m thankful to Mark and Tim for opening the door and showing people that their lives aren’t flawless – that they too are real people who sometimes have bad or unproductive days.

The point I’m trying to make is this: Your heroes are not perfect robots. They have messed-up lives, crippling anxiety, depression, and baggage, just like you. And they have found a way to move forward and achieve their goals.

The more we can look honestly at our heroes and realize they’re just like us, the more we have to look internally at our own flaws and own them…and then succeed in spite of them:

That “supermom” with 4 kids who stays in shape? She has flaws too and succeeds despite dealing with a formerly abusive husband and a fear of abandonment.

That guy at the gym you wish you looked like? He hates his home life and is hiding behind steroids and another set of bench presses to find his happiness.

That author who you wish you could be like? He’s a recovering alcoholic and writes to heal the pain in his heart from a lost child.

We all have baggage. Our superheroes. Our heroes. And ourselves.

Welcome to the club!

Unpack your Baggage: Guilt vs Shame

Brene Brown, vulnerability expert, author, and courageous woman whose TED talk has been viewed 28 million times, has become known for a very important topic:

The difference between guilt and shame.

When we eat bad food (or binge watch TV, or date a revolving door of men/women, or drink a case of beer, or pop a few pills) to escape, when we hide behind a mask of anger, lash out, or retreat further into isolation… it’s oftentimes due to shame and not knowing how to deal with it. As we’re unpacking our personal baggage and taking ownership of it, our reaction will fall into one of those two categories (guilt and shame).

One is significantly more constructive than the other.

In her words:

Shame is a focus on self, guilt is a focus on behavior. Shame is, “I am bad.” Guilt is, “I did something bad.” How many of you, if you did something that was hurtful to me, would be willing to say, “I’m sorry. I made a mistake?”

How many of you would be willing to say that? Guilt: I’m sorry. I made a mistake.

Shame: I’m sorry. I am a mistake.

Shame is highly, highly correlated with addiction, depression, violence, aggression, bullying, suicide, eating disorders. Here’s what you even need to know more: Guilt is inversely correlated with those things. The ability to hold something we’ve done, or failed to do, up against who we want to be is incredibly adaptive. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s adaptive.

Whatever has happened to you in the past; whether it was something you did or something that was done to you, please understand the difference between guilt and shame – apply your thoughts to the action, not your identity:

“I ate an entire pizza today and sabotaged my diet this weekend. I am a failure and a waste of space.” = shame. Not healthy.

“I ate an entire pizza today and sabotaged my diet this weekend. I can’t believe I did that. That was stupid of me.” = guilt. Healthy (though still painful).

Guilt can be constructive and uncomfortable, while shame can be destructive and cause us serious damage. When we’re shameful of our behavior, it can cause us to feel even more shame, and thus seek more quick fixes, or avoid the problem, or sink even deeper into a hole, which we then get ashamed of as well.

It’s a horrible feedback loop that we can get stuck in.

Remember, flaws are nothing to run away from or harbor shame for. Our heroes are flawed, and that makes them human.

So are you. And so am I.

Let’s own it.

I want you to say this to yourself: “No matter what I’ve done up to this point, I am deserving of love and happiness. I am NOT a lost cause. I will hit roadblocks and struggles and challenges, and make mistakes and screw up and do stupid things. I can forgive myself for those things, and move on from them. My heroes are flawed and broken, and so am I. If they can succeed, so can I.”  

Become your biggest fan. And then get to work by taking responsibility.

Take responsibility for your baggage

Just as we can forgive ourselves for actions we’ve taken, judgment-free and shame-free, we can take ownership of our baggage too. Just like our heroes, we must succeed despite our flaws and issues.

One of the articles I’m most proud of writing is about “Personal Responsibility,” the most important trait somebody can develop if they want to start living a better life.

Yes. The baggage that you carry around might be AWFUL:

You might have really unhealthy parents who taught you sugar was a food group.

You might have been in terrible, abusive relationships.

You might have been abandoned by one parent or both.

You might have been screwed out of a job you deserved.

You might have a horrible physical ailment or mental illness that is genetic.

You might have been born in a certain country, of a certain sex, or into a certain religion, that you didn’t choose and have struggled in today’s society as a result of.

Many of these things might not be your fault. Like Bruce or Clark, we are raised in a certain way and don’t get to pick our parents or our upbringing or the tragedies that have befallen us. We’re products of our environment and upbringing and genetics, and it all mixes together in a really weird way.

These things can cause us to feel shame about our place in life, retreating inward, lashing outward, and feeling like a victim or martyr who is doomed to stay stuck because ‘my problem is unique and unsolvable.’ We look for somebody to blame, and we assume our heroes are only where they are because they don’t have the problems we do. And so, we don’t take action, because “we can’t fix it” … the problem is somewhere else.

If you’ve spent any time on the internet lately, you know that victimhood of any kind is IN!

It’s where the money is. Controversy and outrage put asses in seats and bring traffic, page views, and advertising dollars. We’re constantly being reinforced and taught that anything in our life that offends us is somebody else’s problem (shame on them).

It’s that tiny voice in our head that is screaming (and being rewarded): “THEY NEED TO KNOW THEY HAVE OFFENDED ME. I FEEL WRONGED. WE MUST PUT THEM IN THEIR PLACE. IT’S NOT OUR FAULT.”

I don’t say this to make light of the real challenges many have faced, but rather highlight a growing epidemic that freezes us from taking action and improving our situation.

When the voices in people’s heads telling them “I am a victim” is being nurtured and reinforced, when every article or post is an opportunity to be offended and outraged, and when we’re lashing out because we are offended (for ourselves or others), it’s minimizing the impact and help needed for people who truly are victims and need help.

Now, readers of this blog get offended at me all the time and have NO problem chastising me! Telling people to move more, eat less, find more time in the day, build systems to set oneself up for success, prioritizing health, and minimizing distractions seems fairly straightforward and inoffensive.  

After all, these people chose to come to Nerd Fitness most likely because they’re looking for guidance on fixing part of their lives.

Regardless, we ALWAYS have people who rush to tell us how insulting the article was: they can’t change because of ___. And sure, they have a darn good reason or a serious problem they’re dealing with! But they’re choosing to be offended and insulted by our words while the other 99% of the population is choosing to say “okay, how can I apply this to my situation?”

All change comes from recognizing something we didn’t see before, and then changing our behavior because of this new insight. When we choose to see the world with this outrage/victim lens, we’re essentially solidifying the idea to ourselves that: There’s nothing I’m not seeing, there’s nothing I can do differently, the problem is somebody else’s. It does not apply to me.

Instead of CHOOSING this mentality, we need to take ownership for everything that has happened to us, both good and bad. This is a radical departure and a serious challenge that flies in the face of prevailing society these days.

The truth is this: you already have all of the tools you need to succeed/lose weight/make meaningful changes in your life.

That might be painful to read. That tiny voice in your head probably just yelled at me. If you can not react to that voice, and instead look at the situation without judgment, you can also decide that you don’t need anybody’s permission to change your mindset or your situation.

After all, the fact that you’re reading this means you are one of the luckiest individuals to exist in human history.

No, not the fact you are reading THIS article (I’m just a nerd who writes about Star Wars and push-ups in his underwear), but the fact that you exist in this year, 2017, with access to a computer and internet and modern marvels.

Life is AMAZING.

You don’t live in a cave! You have access to electricity! You most likely will not be eaten by a lion tomorrow! Or the next day!

The next part sucks, but it’s essential for growth: When you stop being outraged and assuming your problems are unique, and instead go: “Okay, this is the chaos I’m dealing with. What can I do about it?” you give yourself permission to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and take ownership.

There is somebody out there with your problems who has the life you want. This is great news. This is when change can happen.

You have everything you need to succeed already.

Accepting responsibility is tough as hell, because the alternative is WAY easier!

If we tell ourselves we’re a lost cause at getting in shape, it makes it easier to sit on the couch, play video games, and eat pizza.

If we tell ourselves that there are no good men or women to date, it makes it easier for us to justify not trying or potentially getting hurt, not being social, suffering through a lot of bad first dates, and instead sitting at home on a Friday. 

If we tell ourselves there are no good jobs out there, it makes it easier for us to blame Obama/Trump, the economy, and stay on unemployment or living with our parents and stop sending out resumes.

Did one of those sentences above made you angry? Maybe even… outraged? That little voice is saying, “HOW DARE YOU STEVE. You’re wrong because [reason I’ve been telling myself for years].

We tell ourselves these stories to stay safe and stay in our comfortable misery. We get offended so that we can pass responsibility onto others and justify inaction or failure.  

As I said before, it might not be your fault that something has happened to you, but it’s time to realize that it’s your responsibility to deal with it. Mark Manson said it best in his book:

“a baby showing up on your doorstep certainly isn’t your fault, but suddenly it’s your responsibility to deal with it.”

What if you lived life as if everything was your responsibility to deal with?

I recently had a conversation with a long-time member of the Nerd Fitness community. He let me know that he was disappointed in Nerd Fitness, because after four years he was still unhealthy and overweight because I hadn’t written anything that had inspired him to change yet.

I knew the guy well enough and replied, “Hey man, we all have baggage. You’ve been waiting around for four years and nothing I’ve written has motivated you to change…maybe we’re not the problem? You have all the tools you need and a supportive community. Have you given yourself permission to take responsibility for your success? What specific action are you taking today to improve yourself?”

He got very mad at me and told me off, only to email back a month later with a “You’re right. I know what I need to do, and I’ve been using my medical condition as an excuse. I’m going to take a more active role in my health.”

Bruce Wayne didn’t choose to have his parents killed. Neither did Clark Kent. Natasha Romanoff was brainwashed at a very young age to become an assassin, and she has to atone for that for the rest of her life.

You probably didn’t choose to have [very real problem] or [genetic condition] or [serious obstacle] or [life altering challenge] happen.

But if you stop being outraged, stop deciding you’re a victim, and instead operate under the philosophy that your life as it is right now is 100% your responsibility to deal with, that you are not owed ANYTHING, then you can also realize that you already have EVERYTHING you need to take action on the problem.

I’m already prepared for responses from people who skim this article, with their defensive shields already up, saying things like: “Steve this is very insulting and you don’t understand, because you are [blank] and [blank] and [age]. Shame on you, and I’m offended because [this reason] and [this reason] and you can’t possibly know what I’m going through. I can’t [lose weight/change/get out of this relationship/eat better] because [valid reason].”

These are often the people with the most to gain if they realize they have ALL the tools (and the responsibility) to start dealing with it RIGHT NOW. That many people have succeeded in similar situations as them. That their problems are not unique. Which means it IS solvable.

If this sounds like you, stop taking pride in your baggage, stop proudly being the victim/martyr subconsciously. Instead of indignant, outraged, and unhappy, be responsible.

It’s what our heroes do.  

We all have flaws. We all also have super powers.

Here in the Nerd Fitness Rebellion, we are all disasters. We all feel shame. We all feel guilty.

We are all broken.

Welcome to the island of misfit toys.

Like any motley collection of superheroes, we all have baggage that keeps things interesting. At the same time, just like the X-men, or the Avengers, or the Justice League… along with those flaws we also have superpowers.

Things we can do that nobody else can. Things that we’re better at than others without thinking about it. It might be compassion, empathy, humor, or inclusiveness. It might be a knack for a certain skill or aptitude. Things that if we spent more time focused on, it would make our lives better and the world will be better.

Regardless of how many bags you’ve packed to come here, welcome!

This is a community where you get to be yourself, where you can learn the difference between shame and guilt, and it’s okay to be vulnerable while you work through your shit.

We forgive ourselves.

We know we’re human and that no action we take is something that permanently defines us. Like any superhero, our journey is long and winding, and we have to find our way through the darkness.

We also accept personal responsibility for our place in life and our future.

It might not be our fault where we are right now, but it’s our responsibility to deal with. We choose to not get offended and not to use that to be a victim or martyr. We know that everything is written to offend or to make people feel like victims, and we’re going to stop letting this rule us.

We choose to allocate our brain power to better things.

If this article made you offended and angry and you want to yell me at me for not understanding your particular situation because I’m A, B, and C and you’re X, Y, and Z, no worries! Take a break. We’ll be here if you change your mind in the future.

If you’re ready, willing, and able to accept responsibility, judgment free, for where you are in life…

Welcome to the Rebellion.

You have what you need. You don’t need somebody else’s permission to start. You can choose to stop being a victim. You can be your own hero. And we’re here to support you on that journey. You can solve your own problems, and we’ll be your sidekick cast of supporting heroes ready to step up at every turn.

If you’re in, I’d love to hear from you below:

What’s one thing you’ve felt shame over that you can re-attribute to non-judgmental guilt: “I did that thing. I can work on that.”

What’s one thing you’ve felt victimized by in the past that has kept you prisoner, and how can you accept responsibility for dealing with it?

What is your superpower? What’s something that you do really, really freaking well? That you can succeed with despite the other parts of you?  

-Steve

###

Photo: Daniel Kulinski: Crack, Miguel Discart: Hero Shelf

http://ift.tt/2jtzbD0 http://ift.tt/2k6483v

http://ift.tt/2jkCX0l