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megalony · 10 days ago

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Valuable To The Emperor

Here is a new Emperor Geta imagine, requested by my lovely @missdreamofendless I hope you will like it.

Thank you for all the lovely feedback on my first Geta imagine, I am in the process of writing a few more for him as I am hooked. Please let me know what you think.

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Summary: When certain people from (Y/n)'s past begin to notice how much she means to the Emperor, they start to wonder what he might pay if she were to be taken. When the Emperor finds out, he is less than pleased.

Enjoy.

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With her hands curled around Geta's arm, (Y/n) leaned into his side as they approached the home in front of them.

She had never been here before. In all truth, there were many fine places in Rome that (Y/n) had never had a chance to go or be invited to. And with her humble, broken background, being invited to a Senate's home was never something (Y/n) had been given the pleasure to do and it wasn't something she ever thought would happen to her.

Her eyes took in the fine art that decorated the hall when they were welcomed through the doors. The art was something to take her mind off the desperate urge within her to shrink towards the back of the floodwave.

(Y/n) didn't feel worthy of this, of walking by the side of an Emperor.

Even the concubines and women of the night who often kept Caracalla company weren't walking by his side. They were more towards the back, walking behind the other Senates who were entering this home and the few Generals and high lords and ladies of court who had been invited.

But any thought (Y/n) had of shrinking away was vanquished when she felt Geta's hands move. He kept his left elbow bent so (Y/n) could keep hold of his arm, but he moved his left hand to grip one of (Y/n)'s hands.

His eyes cast down in her direction and the smirk that flooded his face was enough to make (Y/n)'s knees quiver beneath her gown. She loved the way those reddened lips curved and contrasted to the paleness of his face. She loved how his eyes would crease and zoom in on whatever he was studying and if it happened to be (Y/n) that he was focusing on, (Y/n) felt humbled and unworthy all at once.

His thumb stroked along the back of her hand as they walked through the marbled hall adoned with a few statues that (Y/n) guessed were of the Senate's family members. Their faces didn't resemble any of the great leaders of Rome and (Y/n), despite her background, had studied hard. It was one of the things that helped her gain what little power she now had.

Her attention was stolen away from the artwork to glance at the other Emperor who had quickened his steps to follow their host.

There was a skip in Caracalla's step and he seemed to be in one of his more joyeous moods. Being close to Geta meant (Y/n) was privy to information that was otherwise unknown to the people of Rome. She knew about Caracalla's ailment and how it would cause lapses in judgement and changes in mood. She knew it also tended to cause blemishes on his skin which was why he tended to wear make up more heavily than his brother.

Sometimes it was sad to bear witness to, but seeing Caracalla in one of his good moods like this was always endearing.

He had a certain stride in his pace and his back was straight as he followed through to the chamber that adjoined and led towards the garden.

"This should be entertaining." The way Geta leaned down and whispered the words against the shell of (Y/n)'s ear made her shiver and smile to herself. She wasn't sure whether he was referring to the gathering that they were attending, or his brother's attitude, but it didn't really matter.

She agreed with Geta on all counts.

The room they walked into was spacious and looked out onto the garden. There were many open windows and large doorways to let the natural light pour in and there was a table set up with delicacies and various vases of flowers and vines and roses dotted around.

"This way, my Emperors." The senate had a rather nervous smile and he seemed to (Y/n) like one of those people who would do anything to please the highest bidder in the room.

He ushered his arm towards the left corner of the room where there was a large lounge sofa laid beneath the high window where more light was streaming beautifully into the room. Small fires were lit in either corner to cast more light and give off heat where the cold dwelled along the old stone walls and it gave off a cosy effect.

(Y/n) wasn't sure where to move or what to do with herself, but she didn't have to worry. As soon as Caracalla placed himself on the right corner of the sofa, Geta followed suit and he didn't tear away from (Y/n). He barely moved an inch without her, making sure she kept up her pace walking beside him.

Geta gracefully sat down beside his brother and his head tilted up so his eyes could follow (Y/n), making sure she sat alongside him. There didn't look to be much space left for (Y/n) to sit down alongside the Emperors and she briefly debated where to sit as others filtered into the room.

One of Caracalla's concubines sat on the floor right beside him with her cheek resting on his thigh. A few other women stood behind the sofa and leered over like they were posing for a portrait and (Y/n) noticed one of them leaning over the arm rest to be closer to Caracalla. She was practically sitting on the armrest.

(Y/n) thought it would be safer to sit beside Geta in the small space he was clearly glancing at to make sure she stayed right by his side. She couldn't perch on the arm rest like the other woman was doing, it wasn't proper. Nobody should sit higher than the Emperors.

Once she was sat down between Geta and the armrest, Geta crossed one leg over the other and leaned back. He spread his right arm out along the back of the sofa and rested his hand on (Y/n)'s shoulder. His touch was delicate and so light that (Y/n) could barely even feel it, but the sensation of his fingertips lightly skimming across her arm was soothing.

She allowed herself to recline back just a little so she was leaning against his arm but still sitting straight to keep her manners. Her hands rested on her lap and she began tapping her fingers against her thighs to try and keep herself calm and content.

She never knew what to do with herself at events like these.

(Y/n) wasn't one of the ladies who were currently draped around the sofa like rolls of silk. She wasn't someone who hung around the Emperors for favours or money or to provide services.

She was someone who had scraped her way up through the classes to make something of herself. Someone who had nothing when she ventured to Rome, the same as both Emperors when they were children.

Geta saw that in her. He saw that part of himself that he wanted to forget, the part that had done everything to protect his twin and get them away from the gutter and the abuse they had suffered. He saw how hard (Y/n) fought for what she had and what she wanted and it was something that he could relate to. Something Geta wanted to worship.

What they had was something Geta wanted to protect at all costs. He had found someone other than his brother to love and protect in (Y/n) and he wanted her by his side at all times.

It was what set her apart from the other women who trailed along behind them like the women crowded around them right now. They were play-things to have around, they weren't loved or worshipped or protected and adored.

They weren't the one that Geta wanted to make his Empress.

His fingers continued their administration across (Y/n)'s shoulder while his other hand tapped against his knee like he was counting or keeping track of something. It made him look unamused but the small smile tugging at his lips showed he was pleased.

"What have you planned for our amusement?" The hint in Geta's voice gave away that he had an idea of what might have been concocted to please them. It would be something to do with the games that were install over the upcoming days, he was sure of that.

"My reigning champion, Emperor, against the barbarian."

Geta quirked a brow and nodded and from the quiet whispers he could hear murmuring around the room, he figured this had been planned quite suddenly. He could hear bets being placed on who would be the victor. Geta didn't like betting the odds. It didn't amuse him as much as being in the colosseum did because then, he had true power.

Betting meant taking the risk of losing, but in the colosseum, the people looked to him- and Caracalla- for verdicts. They wanted to see if their Emperors would be generous or ruthless, to see whether they would execute or let the gladiators live another day.

Holding life and death in the palm of his hand, that was true power, and that was what Geta loved to toy with. Just like a predator who stalked his prey and toyed with it before going for the kill.

(Y/n) stole her eyes around the room, taking in the other people who were rather crowded all around the room. People were stood with glasses of wine, others were picking at the fruits, sweet meats and delicacies laid out on the table at the far end. And some were simply gossiping. There were lots of people and a few faces looked familiar, but (Y/n) didn't have time to look around them all.

She felt the way Geta perked up beside her and sat forward when the two fighters were brought into the centre of the room. They scuffed along the cold stone floor, kicking flecks of sand and dirt up in their wake and their eyes were looking one another up and down, sizing up their enemy. Although (Y/n) could tell one fighter looked rather reluctant to be in this position. Maybe it was his first fight. Maybe he wasn't equipped to yield a weapon.

Just as their host stepped forward to announce the fight, Caracalla burst to his feet. He wanted to make this interesting. If he was watching a fight, he wanted one that would rise gossip and be worth their time. What good was a fight unless it was a fight to the death?

"A fight! A fight to the death! There shall be only one victor." Caracalla's voice boomed around the room and echoed off the large walls and the high ceiling. And the smile on his face was positively crooked. His teeth flashed through his smile, giving view of the golden tooth that sparkled in the same way his ruffled hair did and the open-mouthed grin gave away just a hint of devilish insanity.

He stepped forward from the sofa, moving his arms as if to make sure everyone understood he was being serious, but nobody seemed to have a response for him.

Not until the barbarian's master began to clap to show his approval and a smile filtered across Geta's lips.

He removed his arm from around (Y/n)'s shoulders so he too could rise to his feet and he placed his hand on his brother's shoulder to show his support. Geta reeled his twin into his side as if to tame him and make sure he didn't get too over excited.

(Y/n) watched the way Geta turned to face their host, an elder man who's hair was thinning him to the brink of being bald and his gaunt, hollow face had turned a rather worrying shade of pale grey. He didn't suit the colourless complexion, not like the Emperors did. They added no colour to their cheeks, in fact they painted their faces white as if to abolish any hint of a healthy glow and it only made them look more regal. At least in (Y/n)'s humble opinion.

She couldn't seem to tear her eyes away from Geta. Confidence rolled off of him in waves. Everyone knew he was the highest ranking person in the room, everyone saw that he possessed all the control and the atmosphere. If he smiled they would smile, if he grew angry then the crowd would follow his emotions.

The way Geta leaned forward towards his host showed just how much power he had. Someone wealthy and elder and experienced like him was shrinking away from a younger man who had been in control less than half this man's lifespan.

"What do you say? Are you prepared to bet the life of your victor?" Geta's voice was silky smooth and the crooked smile on his curved lips made (Y/n)'s heart jump into her throat.

She watched his head angle to one side like his neck had snapped and his eyes creased when their host nodded furiously.

"Of course. A fight to the death." He rose his voice to make the announcement, as if the room hadn't already heard the exclaim from one of the Emperors. And he waved his hand towards the guards, demanding that they arm the fighters.

If it was a fight to the death and blood was to be spilled, they needed weapons. Bare fists would take too much time and wouldn't create as much gore as everyone in the room was now pining for.

Both Emperors moved to sit back down and once Geta was beside her, (Y/n) leaned across to rest her hand on his shoulder. She squeezed lightly and felt encouraged by how quickly Geta moved a hand over to hold hers. He leaned his cheek against her arm as he lightly swayed from side to side, eager for the fight to begin so he could see some bloodshed and feel bursts of adrenaline liven his system.

(Y/n) began to glide her thumb across Geta's shoulder while they watched both men be handed swords.

She found it funny how the one labelled as the barbarian seemed to be bartering with the other man. He was trying to dissuade him from going through with it. Either he was pompous enough to believe he could easily win this fight or he didn't believe he had the capability to best his opposer.

Bargaining wouldn't do him any good. If he refused he would likely be punished or sent to the colosseum to be slaughtered. He had a higher percentage of dying than making it through the fight.

"I don't like the victor's chances," (Y/n) murmured into Geta's ear once the fight began.

The victor was older and he was sloppy with his movements, he wasn't the one (Y/n) would bet to win this fight.

"Nor do I."

The fight rose on and (Y/n) liked how both Emperors would lean to one side or straighten up and move along with the fighters. Each time they jumped to one side or clattered their swords and fell to the floor, the Emperors would move too like they were experiencing the fight themselves.

When the barbarian's sword was knocked beneath a table out of his reach, Geta leaned to the right and dragged his hand along (Y/n)'s thigh. He leaned closer until his head was almost laid on her chest and his left hand moved to graze along his chin and mouth, obscuring his smile as he watched the fight intently. The way he hunched forward made Geta look like a predator stalking his prey, as if he were about to pounce and join in the fight himself and it made (Y/n) smile.

Her eyes left the fight in favour of watching the Emperor who was almost laying across her lap. Her eyes focused on his hair that was almost set alight like flickering flames in the midday sun and the gold crown sunk beneath each tendril of hair was sparkling and glimmering like it was melting into his flock of hair.

(Y/n) couldn't help herself. She couldn't refrain from moving her hand across from Geta's shoulder until her fingertips were grazing along the back of his neck. She felt the way his skin shivered beneath her touch and when she dragged her nail up his neck and wove her fingers into his hair, he shuddered and fought the urge to close his eyes and groan.

He inclined his head back into her touch, loving how she tangled her fingers into his hair like she was either trying to scratch his scalp or carefully remove the crown from his head.

Her touch was enough to send him wild. No one else could have this affect on Geta.

He allowed his eyes to tear away from the fight that was starting to become interesting so he could sneak a glance behind him. His eyes caught (Y/n)'s and his grin widened before he was looking back to the fight when one of them crashed into a few of the guests near the far table.

Geta's hand tightened around (Y/n)'s thigh and he let out a laugh that was like melodic music to her ears. That was the trouble with fighting in such a small place like this which could not compare to the colosseum, there was very little room when fighting for one's life. Spectators were going to get caught in the middle if they were stood too close.

Geta liked that; he found it amusing that people were getting close enough to be caught in the way. Although he was glad that they were over here. He knew none of the guards would allow the fight to become too close to either Emperor or their guests surrounding them on the sofa. He wouldn't want to have to brandish a sword himself and end the fight, or fend either fighter off if they came to close to (Y/n).

He would do anything to protect her.

"Is that her? (Y/n)? Sat with the Emperor."

Could it be her? Could that be the girl they knew? The one who had lived on the outskirts of Rome with them, dreaming of a better life. Dreaming to be in the centre of things, to be allowed to have what was owed to them for all the hardships each of them had been burdened with from the beginning.

Could that be the girl who had fought to claw her way out of the gutter and earn her way in the world and earn herself a better life.

Had the Emperor truly taken that same girl under his wing? How could she be over there, and the rest of them be over here?

How could they be on opposite sides when they had all but grown up together, when they came from the same place?

"People say she is to be the new Empress."

The group of three spoke in hushed whispers, speaking around goblets of wine in a quiet corner to dispell any prying ears from listening to their contemplations. If that was the girl they had grown up with, then none of this was fair. They were skulking in the corner, unknown and already long forgotten by the peers around them. But (Y/n) was over there, being held and embraced by the Emperor as if she were already his better half.

She came from the same place as them. When (Y/n) left her hardships behind and found her way to Rome, she became one of them. She worked with them, she had sewn clothes and paid her way in the world and tried to learn to better herself.

But none of them had managed to make something of themselves. None of them were privy to the palace or being in the eyesight of either Emperor. How was that fair that she was over there, and they were stuck here?

"That makes her valuable to the Emperor… I wonder, what a man like that would pay for her safe return, if she were to be taken."

It was a bold presumption and a risky thought. If she were as close to the Emperor as she clearly seemed to be, that made her worthy and valuable of something. The Emperor was clinging to her. He had a possessive hand on her and he was leaning into her side and laughing at whatever she could whisper in his ear. That made her valuable to him. And the Emperors were the highest authority in Rome which came with the most riches in their great city.

They had the wealth to pay a high sum if anything were to happen to someone they cared for. Someone they loved.

"If she is to be Empress, he would be willing to pay a high sum for her to be returned unharmed… untouched."

***

Raised voices blurred and rose higher throughout the dark halls. The sound of boots hitting the stone floor echoed through the damp halls.

(Y/n)'s bleary eyes tried to open and adjust to the moonlight seeping through her room. She tried to make sense of the distant noises she could hear, wondering if this was another late night meeting or if there was possibly something wrong with Caracalla. There was a physician who lived at the Palace strictly to see to both Emperor's health and to treat any ailments they had.

Sometimes Caracalla's changing moods could turn into outbursts during the night, especially if he was paranoid.

(Y/n) pushed herself to sit up and her head inclined to one side as she tried to focus on what she could hear. The sounds were becoming distant and retreating which made her shoulders relax with relief. But the sudden jostling of her chamber door made her heart palpitate with fright and try to burst out of her chest.

Her shoulders hunched forward and her right hand scurried beneath her pillow, desperately trying to reach for the blade she always had with her for emergencies. The golden blade with studded red gems studded into the handle.

A gift from Geta.

He trusted the guards in the palace to protect all within it, but that didn't mean he wasn't opposed to some extra protection. The guards couldn't prevent any and every attack and possibility and when Geta brought (Y/n) to live at the palace, he gave her the blade.

It wouldn't do their reputations any good if they shared a room, and (Y/n) had worked hard for the reputation and status she had. She couldn't throw it away and have people claim her to be one of the mistresses or whores that frequented the palace. Not when that wasn't what she was and when Geta never saw her that way.

He wanted to marry her, he had been setting the plans in motion already and as soon as that was done, there would be nothing stopping either of them from sharing a room. And being together at every moment of the day.

(Y/n)'s fingers curled around the grooves of the blade and she whipped it from beneath the pillow, brandishing it in front of her just as the door to her chamber opened. She threw the sheets to one side and bolted to her feet, wielding the blade with determination and a firm arm locked in front of herself protectively. She may never have taken a life before, but (Y/n) knew how to arm and protect herself. Growing up in hardships and living on the outskirts of Rome, she had to defend herself somehow.

Deep breaths heaved past her lips when the dim light from the hallway flickered into her room and created an aura around the guard who blundered over the threshold and stumbled into her room.

A guard. In the middle of the night. Something had to be wrong.

"Lady (Y/n), will you come with me please?" The guard gasped like he had been running through the palace and the way he glanced around showed he knew it was improper to burst into her room like this. He knew the consequences of this, he knew how the Emperor would react if he found out. That much told (Y/n) that something had to be very wrong for this guard to burst in like this and try to usher her somewhere in the middle of the night.

"What's happened?"

"You need to see the Emperor my lady." That didn't sound pleasing. The tone of the guard's voice implied he was panicked and (Y/n) wondered if he truly understood what was going on or if he was simply following higher orders.

She wanted to refuse, she wanted to defy and stay here where she was enclosed and safe, but she couldn't. Sitting in her room and waiting was only going to double her worries and make her unsettled and it would enrage her curiosity.

The blade stayed firmly in (Y/n)'s grip as she tossed the sheets to one side and reached out for the gown draped over the back of the chair in the corner of the room.

Her eyes stayed on the guard, watching him closely as she shrugged on her gown and pulled it tight. She had no reason not to trust any of Geta's guards, but growing up in hardships had made (Y/n) wary of trusting anyone, even those seemingly here to protect her. The only person she could truly rely on was Geta. He was the only one she would trust.

Her fingers twitched around the handle of the blade that tapped against her thigh and when she advanced towards the guard, she nodded. She would follow him and find Geta. They had to know what was going on.

Her other arm wove around her waist, keeping her gown tightly pinned across her front and it helped her to remain calm and keep her back straight as she walked. (Y/n) suddenly wished she had stopped for a pair of sandals when she hurried into the hall and the soles of her warm feet hit the frozen stone floor.

It felt horrid to pad across the floor and jog down the dark winding stairs that were so cold it was like walking on a frozen river during winter. Each step was covered in flecks of dust and the soles of (Y/n)'s feet began to turn numb as she passed down the stairs.

At least with nothing on her feet, her steps were almost silent. No one would hear her coming, although they would undoubtedly hear the harsh, flat-footed steps of the guard in front of her. And his armour clattered and rattled with each hurried step he took.

The palace looked different in the dead of night. (Y/n) had often thought this, but as she headed down the corridor that was oddly silent, everything looked and felt unfamiliar. The shadows were murkier and seemed to grow tenfold during the night.

The walls stretched and the ceilings rose higher until she felt no taller than a mouse. The corridors dragged on into miles and (Y/n) felt disorientated in the dim light provided by the torches scattered along the walls.

Even the main hall looked strange when she followed the guard through the large oak doors and into the spacious room.

The tappestries lining the walls looked like dark omens threatening war and doom and with the light breeze fluttering through the open windows, they came to life. The gliding movements of the woven threads made them sway and made the animals bare their jaws and come alive in the most monstrous ways.

Everything looked worse in the darkness. (Y/n) found herself clutching the blade of her weapon tighter to her side and her other arm pinned into her waist like she was trying to give herself a comforting hug to dispell her unease.

Just as the uncomfortableness started to take over, (Y/n) looked ahead of her towards the other entrance to the main hall.

Geta. He burst through the doors like a storm raging war on the world. His bright flamed hair was askew in all directions, set alight by the dim glow of the torches around the room. His complexion was no longer deathly pale with no hint of colour or life but was now a pale shade of cream with just the slightest hint of pink to his cheeks and beneath his eyes.

But his expression was maddening. Those dark eyes were blazing with fury and narrowed like he was scrutinising the room for something. His nose was crinkled and his lips were parted as he ploughed towards the centre of the room.

He too was barefoot against the stone floor which was seemingly making him shiver and he had one hand deadlocked around his red and golden robes to keep them around his frame.

It made (Y/n) wonder if he wore anything beneath the robe or if he was as bare as the day he was born. The way he scrunched it up around his chest suggested he was bare and it was clear he had been woken up in haste the same as (Y/n).

She shook her head to rid the shameful thoughts from her mind and focused on watching Geta.

His sights set on the head of his guardsmen first, noting that the other man was stood with his hands clasped behind his back and a stoic expression on his face.

"What is the meaning of this?" There was anger laced into his voice but when Geta turned his head, a slither of confusion pooled within his eyes.

(Y/n) had been woken too. Why was she here? When there were urgent matters of state, it was the Emperors who were woken and very few else in the palace. One or two servants and messengers if the Senates needed advising or informing about something, but that was it. All others weren't bothered during the night like this, so for (Y/n) to be here it meant this was something very serious, or it had something to do with her too.

"What is this?" There was a desperate, whining tone to Caracalla's voice as he traipsed into the hall behind his twin, stomping one foot down while his hands balled into fists at his sides.

He didn't like being woken up during the dead of night like this, much less being dragged from his bed- and the women who accompanied him- for reasons unknown to seemingly everyone here.

Caracalla's hair was ruffled, his eyes were worn and tired and his expression was taut as he gruffly walked until he was stood close beside his brother. Turning his head from side to side to try and get someone to explain what was going on or let him go back to bed.

Geta looked between the guards that were filtering into the room like they were preparing for an attack or preparing to encircle around the Emperors in case of an emergency. Whatever this was, Geta didn't like it.

The moment he waved his hand towards (Y/n) to beckon her closer to him, she obliged. She sidestepped the guard who had woken her up and moved to stand with Geta instead. He made her feel better, he stopped her from panicking and calmed her down.

She let his hands find her shoulders and turn her so she was stood directly in front of him and his hands curled and tightened around her flesh like he was making sure she wouldn't dare take one step away from him. She let herself lean back into his chest a little while Geta tilted his head down and pressed a flushed kiss to the top of her head.

"Explain." One word was enough to make the guards shiver and nod and the guard in charge motioned his hands towards the opposite side of the room.

The hall was dark enough that none of them had noticed the presence of other people along with them in the room.

Both (Y/n) and Geta whipped their heads to the left at the sound of footsteps approaching and they watched as two guards pushed three figures forward, stepping out of the shadows. All three figures had their wrists and ankles in shackles, preventing any quick escapes which implied that they were prisoners of some sort. But Geta had no idea who they were.

"We caught these people trying to gain entrance to the palace and heard them plotting, Emperors." The guard lowered his gaze as he spoke, it seemed that most of the guards who worked in the palace never wanted to look either Emperor in the eye. It was too unsettling and provoking.

"Plotting what-"

"To slay us?!" Caracalla's outburst caught all of them by surprise and (Y/n) shuddered back against Geta.

She felt his hands begin to smooth up and down her shoulders and arms to try and soothe her and he kissed her head again, hastily, before he let her go. He sidestepped to the right and expertly grabbed his brother before Caracalla had the chance to rush forward and try his luck brandishing a weapon to attack the perpetrators.

Both Geta's arms circled around his brother's waist and he reeled him back into his chest while Caracalla shouted and thrashed to try and be let loose. He would show them. He would unleash Hell if they had been plotting against him and his brother.

With a deep, rumbling sigh, Geta twisted his brother to the side and muttered 'calm brother,' in his ear to try and lessen his rage. Geta was used to the outbursts. He was the only one who could talk any sense into his brother and calm him down from his fits of rage.

He glanced from his brother who was taking heaving breaths and glaring holes into the enemy across from them. And he looked back to the guard, silently demanding he continue to explain what exactly that woman and those two men had been plotting to do.

"No, Emperor, they were trying to find Lady (Y/n)'s quarters." The guard seemed very nervous to speak, rightfully so. He knew just how his words would rile up one of the Emperors and when he looked over at Geta, he saw the fury boiling over in his eyes.

Geta's arms removed from around his brother who had gone from enraged to confused. His chest heaved and his darkened eyes looked between these people and (Y/n).

Why would they plot to find her room? What did they want with her? How did they know her- did they even know her, or was this some pitiful game to them that they were playing? What possible reason could they have to go after (Y/n) and try to cause chaos by finding her in the palace?

Fury dwelled deep within Geta's gut and simmered inside his chest that started to heave as he stepped away from his brother and moved to stand beside (Y/n) once again. His hands curled around her arms and his chest pressed flush against her back while his eyes narrowed on the three men stood ahead of them.

There looked to be nothing special about them. Nothing regal. Their clothes suggested they weren't Generals or Lords or of any value in high society, they weren't from the upper classes. They were clearly no one special because Geta couldn't place their faces; if he had seen them before it had been brief, in passing.

"You know them?" Geta's hollow voice whispered into (Y/n)'s ear and he kept his lips tickling the shell of her ear with his cheek pressing against the side of her head. He pulled her back against his chest, keeping her moulded up against him in hopes that it would help in somehow protecting her and keeping her safe.

He felt the shivers that coursed through (Y/n)'s blood and made her raise her left hand to grip his wrist. When Geta looked down at her, it was as if he was looking at a ghost, a figment of his imagination with how still and shocked she seemed. She looked like she was about to fade before his eyes.

And when he looked down, something cut at his heart that was pounding against his ribcage when he noticed the blade in her right hand. She was gripping it so tightly that the circulation had to be cutting off towards her fingers and her grip made her hand begin to shake.

He traced his hand down from her arm towards her wrist and his fingertips ghosted over the back of her hand until he was holding onto her fingers. He gently uncurled them and slipped the blade from her now trembling hand, taking it so he could tuck it into one of the many pockets in his robe. She didn't need to arm herself any longer; he wouldn't let anything happen to her.

"I used to." Her voice was hollow and held no emotion but she could feel every thought raging through her head and every emotion dwelling in her blood until it felt like she was going to faint.

They were ghosts from a previous life.

People she used to know when she first found her feet on the outskirts of Rome. People who fought like (Y/n) to make their way into Rome, to escape their hardships and their past and make a new life for themselves.

They were people who wanted more, but people who wouldn't better themselves or fight hard enough to escape. They found lives on the outskirts and that had been enough for them. They didn't want the fresh start like (Y/n) did and once she fought to get her name and her place in the world, they made sure she knew she was no longer 'one of them'.

They were faces she never thought she would get to see again, people she never thought she would be around and who would want nothing to do with her even if they ever bumped into her again.

"Why would you come for her?" Caracalla angled his head to one side as he squinted at the group on the far side of the room. There was still an air of anger and madness surrounding his tone, despite the confusion pooling in his hazy blue eyes.

What was so special about (Y/n) that they would risk breaking into the palace to find her? To possibly try and take her?

The three of them seemed to share glances with each other. There was no point in trying to bargain or come up with a lie. The Emperors would see right through them. So would (Y/n). Telling the truth was their only option now, they knew that getting caught would seal their fate, but they took the risk anyway.

Both men shared glances with one another, wrangling with their shackles and stole glances at the accomplice who adverted her gaze to the ceiling, not willing to speak a word.

"To see how much you would offer for her safe return if she… disappeared." The shorter man arched a brow and let his head loll to one side but he chose his words carefully so the intent would be clear.

Doran's words made (Y/n)'s stomach churn and she tried to take a step back until she was flush against Geta's chest and she felt his hands glide down from her arms to hold her hips. As if he were keeping her in place and holding onto her to protect her. He would swiftly switch places and push (Y/n) behind him if either of those fiends tried to take one step towards her.

How could they do that? Tears welled up in (Y/n)'s eyes that couldn't look anywhere but at the three people she used to know. They may have splintered off into different worlds, but (Y/n) bore no grudge against any of them. Why should they bear one against her?

If they wanted help all they had to do was ask. If they truly wanted to make their way in the city- something (Y/n) highly doubted- they could of asked and she would have helped them.

But to stoop so low as to try and kidnap her, to risk harming her in the process, and all for a great sum. It was despicable.

(Y/n) didn't want to contemplate what Geta would have done if they succeeded. She wouldn't want him to pay a price for her safe return, it would be too risky and it was demeaning. And she didn't know if Geta would pay a price, he wasn't the type to give in to demands no matter who was making them or what they were threatening him with. He would sooner gouge out his eyes than give in to someone's trivilous demands.

He might not have paid any sum at all for (Y/n). He might have become reckless and searched for her himself. He might have bartered his guards, promising them the reward if they found (Y/n) and took the heads of those who tried to harm her.

In truth, (Y/n) had no idea how Geta would react in a situation such as that and she had no desire to find out.

(Y/n) didn't realise she was crying until she felt one of Geta's hands reach up to brush away some of the tears now cascading down her features. His touch was gentle but the tremor to his hand showed the violence building up inside of him, threatening to spill over the edge.

Within moments, his hands left (Y/n)'s skin and his body was no longer wrapped around her like a protective suit of armour.

The rage within him simmered to the surface and the pale expanse of his neck strained and tensed as he stepped forward. He felt a sudden and great urge to lunge like a tiger prowling in the colosseum. Geta felt like bearing his fangs and sinking his teeth into their necks for what they had planned to do.

If they had somehow managed to get (Y/n) out of the palace and make demands for her safe return, Geta might have slipped into a worser state of madness than his brother.

"You think I would allow you to take her? That I value her as an object that I would pay to have returned to me?" The callous tone of Geta's voice made each of them look at him.

Both Emperors were known to be skittish and ruthless. They laughed when people were slain, even if it was their own people on their own streets of Rome. They thrived in madness and decay and they seemed to hold no one dear to them except for each other. And (Y/n).

Yes. Yes, the three of them truly believed they might be able to extortion something out of the Emperor if they took (Y/n) and were willing to give her back to him. They would have kept her relatively unharmed and sent her back to him without a bruise or a scratch if the price had been right. And they believed he might just have contemplated the bargain if they had managed to get to (Y/n) before they were discovered.

Well he wouldn't. Geta wouldn't pay any price to have (Y/n) back because she wasn't something to be bargained over. Geta would have scoured the streets himself to find her. He would have burned all of Rome to the ground before he gave one coin to anyone because he knew it wouldn't be likely that he would have found (Y/n) unharmed if he paid these Cretans for her.

And that would imply that Geta thought (Y/n) was worth a reasonable amount, that there was a right price to pay for her. There wasn't. No amount of money or gold would be enough to show how valuable and precious she was to him.

When Geta took a step closer to the three of them, close enough that they could see and feel each harsh, froffing breath he took, the guards stepped closer to. No one was sure whether they were trying to protect the Emperor, or save the fiends from their Emperor's wrath.

Geta's hands balled up into fists at his sides and his chest rumbled as his reddened features tensed and twisted into a malicious smirk.

"I deal in blood. And all of you are now in debt to me." He sneered through gritted teeth and a twisted smile as his head angled to one side. "You shall join the games tomorrow, I want your blood painting the walls of the colosseum. I want you torn limb from Limb."

For what they had done, they had made themselves in great debt to the Emperor, and Geta wasn't going to rest until all the blood was drained from their bodies and not even the greatest physician in Rome would be able to piece them back together.

#imagine #gladiator imagine #gladiator ii #gladiator 2 #gladiator movie #emperor geta imagine #emperor geta x reader #emperor geta #emperor caracalla #geta x reader #geta imagine #joseph quinn

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onskepa · 6 months ago

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Hey saw tou were open!!

Could you do a ronal x platonic female reader, who is having her first mother's day as a new mom. She goes to ronal and explains the earth holiday. As part of her tradition she gives ronal a mother's day gift and ronal gets to see cute teeny tiny human baby!

Hellooooooo~!! So when I read this one, I knew just where to put it! Enjoy~!!

Irayo pt1

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Irayo: Best mama's around!

Ronal kept herself busy these past few days. More busy than usual. Anything to distract the lingering worry of her friend, Irayo. It has been 8 days now, Ronal counted since her last visit. Not just ronal who worries, but her daughter young tsireya is now questioning where her auntie is. Her, and slowly the villagers begin to worry.

Not to make her worries any better, Ronal has no way to communicate with Irayo. She remembers clearly, the last time she was her friend. Everything was fine that day, irayo behaved normal, acted as normal as she could be. Made another set of friendship bracelets, helped take care of tsireya, did her part in the village. Everything was normal.

So why now is she gone? Are the sky demons preventing her from returning? Did they deem her useless now? Is she alright?

So many questions linger in Ronal's mind. Anything she does, her worries are not calmed down. If by day 10 irayo does not return, ronal can only fear the worse.

“A little bit dramatic, don't you think?” Irayo asks as she plays patty cake with little tsireya. Ronal was too busy hugging her from the side, saying how worried she was and what possible routes irayo was going through.

“Not dramatic, only worried,” Ronal says, a bit stubbornly.

Irayo can only laugh at the tsahik’s antics.

“What happened? Why were you gone for many days?” Ronal finally asks. Needing to know if whatever happened, that irayo was alright.

“I am fine, its just I wasnt feeling well and I had to be examined to find out what was wrong” irayo answers. This made Ronal more worried. “And? Are you well? Why didnt you come to me? I could have helped you” ronal gently scolded. Irayo only shook her and answered in her own way.

She smiled and grabbed Ronal by the hands, guiding them to her belly.

“I am pregnant”

Those three words echoed in ronal’s head, slowing taking in what the human just said. Her eyes were wide, almost unbelieving what she said.

Irayo laughed at Ronal’s reaction. Tsireya laughs as well even though she doesn't know why.

“And who is the fool who believes he is worthy of you?”

Word spread of Irayo’s return and the news of her pregnancy, the people went a bit wild. Welcoming her back, many gave her gently hugs, being mindful of her belly. Even though irayo said she was only 2 weeks pregnant, none took it lightly. Pregnancy at an early stage, any stage really, is the most important. Anything can happen.

So the villagers, and by extension ronal and tonowari, made sure irayo only did safe, light tasks. Some had given her many things for her baby when its born. Children would follow irayo and ask her so many questions, like what is the difference between a na’vi baby and a human baby. Will the baby be blue or a different color? Small or big? Cute or ugly?

So many things and Irayo was just happy to resume it all. Even more now that soon, her little one will get to experience the same excitement as she does. Her stage is still early, but no doubt her motherly instincts kicked in.

As time goes on, ronal allowed irayo to take care of tsireya more often, to practice in how to take care of a baby. Would talk about her experiences in taking care of an infant and so on. However Ronal does not know how much of the information will be useful to her friend. As she does not know how different a human baby is to a na’vi baby.

And as the months go by, ronal witnesses irayo’s belly growing. While she may not fully show it, Ronal is secretly excited for the baby to arrive. One day, when Irayo was 4 months pregnant, she asked a sudden question.

“Would you like to feel the baby?”

This question surprised ronal.

In na’vi customs, pregnant females only allow their mates or really close family members to touch their bellies.

Is it the same for humans?

“Can I…?” Ronal asks hesitantly.

Irayo nods and gently places ronal’s bigger hands onto her growing belly.

“The baby is still small, but in future months, they will move and might even kick,” irayo explains. Being still, Ronal can sense a small heart beat. From her experience, this small heart beat sounds healthy.

“You baby is strong,” she comments. Irayo giggles, she doesn't doubt ronal. She can feel her baby.

“Baby?” little tsireya echos the word as she waddles over to the two mothers. Practicing how to mother with the little one, irayo feels she is ready. But slight doubt still lingers in her.

Playing with the child's hair, Irayo confesses her inner struggles.

“Ronal…do you think I will be a good mother?” she asks.

Ronal looks at her friend, a sad smile on the human's face. “Of course you will be. Perhaps not perfect, but a good mother. I have seen you around my child, with the villagers' children. Why think you will not be?”

“I don't know, maybe it is just my mind playing games. I see how you raise tsireya, when she was born to now. You are wonderful to her. You have far more experience than I. the other women, I see how they handle their babies. I fear that whatever I will try, it won't be enough. That maybe I will fail and-”

Ronal places her hands gently on irayo’s cheek, making her look at her.

“You will be a wonderful mother to your baby. Anything you will do, shall do, will be seen as perfection to your baby because it will be all that they know. I am not perfect irayo, no one else. I make my own mistakes, but we learn and so will you”

“Learn!” tsireya repeated.

Both ladies look down at the little girl with soft smiles.

Irayo leans a bit to kiss tsireya’s head.

“At least my baby will have someone to look up to”

9 months had come to completion. Ronal wasnt able to see irayo for a while. Irayo explained she will need to be under constant supervision since the due date was nearing. Ronal understood, but the inner fears and anxiety creeps every night.

Will irayo be alright? Will the birth be safe? Will the baby be healthy?

So many questions, ronal even suggested she helps to deliver the baby. Willing to push aside her own personal views of the sky demons for the sake of her friend. While irayo was happy, she couldn't.

And it wasn't for another 3 months that finally, irayo returned. This time she wasn't alone.

She came to the village with her baby.

Everyone was so ecstatic!

They all surrounded her and her baby. Welcoming her back and welcoming the baby as well. Her baby was so cute! Mothers praised the little one, seeing how healthy the baby looked. And many more for being curious, it was the first time they have seen a human baby! Who knew they could be adorable?

However the crowd was quickly disbursed by the presence of ronald and tonowari with tsireya in her father’s arms.

Ronal of course was the first to hug irayo, letting out a long relieved sigh.

“Thank Eywa you have returned” she whispers. Looking at irayo, she didnt know if it was the sun, or something else but the human had a natural glow in her physic. That motherly glow all females have after birth. It made irayo look stunning.

“I am happy to be back,” irayo says.

Soft babbles were heard, in the small bassinet was the human baby.

Leaning down, ronal took a good look at the human baby.

“Has your eyes…” she comments.

The baby stared at ronal, no fear, only fascination.

“Would you like to carry my baby?” Irayo asks, knowing ronal wants to. Without needing to answer, ronal carefully and gently holds the baby into her arms.

“Baby!” tsireya squeals.

Tonowari chuckles, “yes me’ite, it is a baby. We must be careful and be gentle” he says, tsireya nodding.

“Your baby is so beautiful…oh Eywa, maybe you bless this baby with a great life and a wonderful future” ronal prays.

Tonowari gestures irayo to a certain direction, “come, there is much to talk about”

Tsireya was entertaining the baby, showing many toys and singing little songs. Never keeping her eyes away from her new friend.

Irayo sits beside ronal, “I have a gift for you~” she teases.

“I wonder what it could be”

Already knowing what it is.

As predicted, irayo brought out 4 bracelets, “new BFF’s bands!” irayo says happily.

Carefully tying it around ronal’s wrist, doing the same for herself, tsireya and her baby. “We shall commemorate this day as our first mother’s day!” she goes on.

Ronal looks at her curiously.

“Mother’s day? What is that?”

“Mother’s day is a human tradition. Once a year on a special day, we celebrate our mothers. Giving them gifts, a day to relax, and appreciating them overall. So, this is my gift to you and to myself. It is not often celebrated here with my co-workers but at least I can celebrate it with you!” irayo happily answers.

Looking down at her new bracelet, tracing over the beads and sea glass, she likes it.

“Gifts huh…well then, I have a gift for you as well” ronal says.

This makes irayo get closer, already excited.

“What is it?” irayo answers. Ronal answers deadpanned.

“I am pregnant”

NGL I got carried away but I like it! So, until next time! See ya!

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rosie-posie1313 · 5 months ago

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Draco Malfoy Fic Recs I 🐍

New Beginnings by @sapphicwhxre

Not Really Mine by @gobletofweasleys

Draco Malfoy Masterlist by @iliveiloveiwrite

Do You Know? By @omg-imatotalmess

Worthy by @thegryffindorprincess

Possessive by @potterlyimagines

Shake On It by @avnkin

Wardrobe Malfunction by @avnkin

It’s Only Quidditch by @adorerdraco

New Me by @fanfics4all

I don’t have a name for this by @delilahsroses

Whole Lot of Red by @adorerdraco

Not My Type (Like You) by @adorerdraco

You by @socontagiousimagines

Im here by @adorerdraco

Two In A Bed by @thegryffindorprincess

Being Draco’s Best Friend and Crush Would Include by @mellowsobri

Not What It Seems by @avnkin

SHE by @ginnyweasely

Skin by @mirclealignr

Ravishing by @afeb

saccharine sunshine. By @thepuffyeyedpuff

looking at the moon, but seeing you by @rekrappeter

you don’t love me the way you love her by @theshiningg

Bored by @malfoysstilinski

Draco Malfoy Oneshots Masterlist by @Sapphicwhxre

Draco Malfoy Masterlist by @iliveiloveiwrite

Ravenwood by @will-on-the-internet

I Am Home by @afeb

dating draco malfoy would include… by @reidsmalfoy

Demanding Little Thing by @nebulablakemurphy

Potent by @baby-blossoms

sweatshirt by @badfvith

Distractions and O.W.L.S by @adorerdraco

Not Funny by @pufflyhallows

Not Funny by @somenewsarah

My Moon by @afeb

Dating Draco Malfoy would include.. By @essenceoflumos

engraved by @dracowars

Kiss It Better by @fandomsfeelsandfanfics

sweet mornings by @scvrllet

Stargazing by @scvrllet

in her debt by @mirclealignr

Bad Faith by @nebulablakemurphy

Betrothed by @somenewsarah

Close by @dracoscene

Connections by @randomoutsiders

YOU AND ME by @dracoscene

back off by @scvrllet

Spoiled by @wondernimbus

four a.m by @malfoysstilinski

two sworn enemies by @wondernimbus

Yours and Mine; by @occlumencyneville

Healing Heart by @adorerdraco

the greatest seducer by @youralwaysandforever

Beautiful Ghosts by @missdawnandherdusk

Scars by @fuckingjimin

The Basilisk by @coffee-imagines

My Son by @miamlfy

Masterlist by @socontagiousimagines

Happy Memories; by @occlumencyneville

Something There by @wizardwritings

Protective by @daydreaming-away-reality

Amortentia by @elena-reina

everything you didn’t say by @wondernimbus

Breaking point by @wondernimbus

The bet by @shysneeze

Umbridge; by @occlumencyneville

Battleground by @wondernimbus

another summer morning by @wondernimbus

Rita Skeeter by @drac-ho

Fake kisses by @harrysweasleys

Dating Draco Malfoy Would Include.... By @siriusly-lovely

Drowning by @wreckofawriter

Maybe by @wondernimbus

Words hurt by @elena-reina

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x you #draco lucius malfoy #harry potter #draco x reader #draco malfoy fanfiction

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side-studyblr · 2 months ago

Text

11.06.24

Day 1/?

Sleep ~ 12:20am - 6:20am ~ 6hrs

I’m starting to feel momentum at work; things don’t feel as direly hopeless anymore.

Been going through the first few pages of an MCAT biochem review book just to jumpstart my memory of all these chem concepts and i’m,,,,kind of loving it 🫣 feels like a tiny affirmation that perhaps going premed is the right choice.

Also picked up this “That Sucked. Now What?” book back up again - I had started it about a month ago (after a year of small sucky things) but only made it past the first chapter. I’m starting to feel the motivation to fully process the past to move onto the future though, and hopefully this helps me let go of some of that.

Also bust out my Italian museum guides & my “Learn Italian” book in anticipation for a possible trip next March 🤩

#i am worthy of new beginnings #november #2024

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feyhunter78 · 3 months ago

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Hi 💕

If requests are still open can you do something Elrond x reader where reader watches him duelling for sword training (or something similar)?

Can be as sweet or spicy as you want❤️

I know you sent this in ages ago, I'm so sorry!!! Also, I'm so bad at describing fighting, please ignore that

Sparring Sessions

You sit with your friend Taethrien on one of the various stone benches that line the outer circle of the training yard. The open space of packed dirt and training dummies, the sounds of sparring and instruction mingling with grunts of exertion from the younger elves.

“Again.” Elrond calls, his voice sharp, like a whip, his face set in stone, as he jerks his head towards the fallen sword of his sparring partner.

The younger elf, Narion, you believe his name is, picks up his sword, and settles back into a sturdy fighting stance, sweat dripping from his brow.

You know you should intervene, insist that your husband take more care with the younger elves, but you find yourself unable to. Your eyes drawn to his form, the graceful but powerful movements, the controlled strength behind his swings and strikes.

“Elrond is quite intense this morn, is he not?” Taethrien says, watching the pair as they begin, Narion lunging first, seemingly not learning his lesson.

You hum in response, captivated by the easy way Elrond deflects the blow. He has not even broken a sweat, but his hair is disheveled from him raking his hand through it.

There is a smirk, almost cocky, on Elrond’s face as Narion growls and tries to fake right and catch Elrond off guard. He sees right through it, striking Narion’s exposed side.

“Oh, poor boy, he must cease leaving his left side so open.” She continues, frowning as the flat of Elrond’s blade taps against Narion’s ribs.

You hum again, feeling your stomach flip when Elrond spots you and sends you a quick smile, a simple uptick of his lips, but it is enough to make a sudden warmth flood your face.

“Y/N?” Taethrien asks, turning to face you, her brows furrowed. “Are you listening.”

“Yes, yes, I agree, left side, much too exposed.” You say far too quickly, remembering where you are and tearing your eyes from Elrond.

She tilts her head, a catlike smile on her lips, but says nothing of your reaction. “My husband should be along soon, perhaps he will present a finer challenge for Elrond than the young ones do.”

“I am sure it will be a worthy display of both their skills.” You smile, bumping your shoulder into hers. “And it will allow me to see this strength of his you are so very fond of.”

“I told you of that in confidence.” She whispers, blushing all the way to the tips of her ears.

“It is nothing to be ashamed of.” You reassure her, patting her hand.

A sudden shout draws your attention back to the ring, where Elrond has Narion at sword point, the young elf on his back in the dirt. You grip your skirts, a flash of heat surging through you as Elrond sheathes his sword with a one-handed, fluid motion, before pulling Narion up from the dirt.

“It seems we both may have something, not to be ashamed of.” Taethrien teases, making a show of pretending to try and unfurl your fingers.

You do not tease her in return when it is her husband against yours, they are newly married, still in a phase of infatuation, still discovering much about themselves and each other. Besides, you are far too focused on Elrond as he and Iandor spar, their swords singing, sparking through the air, throwing bits of sunlight as it glints off their blades.

“Do keep up Elrond, I know you have not tasted battle in ages, but surely you cannot be this out of practice.” Iandor taunts jovially, a bright smile on his face.

Elrond throws him a devastatingly charming smile in response, the gleam of a worthy challenge in his eyes. “No, my friend, I am simply allowing you the advantage, I would not wish to embarrass you in front of your new bride.”

They spar for what feels akin to eternity as well as mere moments until they call it a draw, both men breathing heavily, clapping each other on the shoulder as they return their weapons to the rack.

You meet Elrond halfway, and he wipes the sweat from his brow, smiling at you, his chest still rising and falling harshly. “My starlight, I can only hope we did not bore you.”

“I never tire of watching you train.” You tell him, dusting the dirt from his training leathers, attempting to banish the memory of your wedding night from your mind. The way he looked hovering above you, his curls wild, his pupils blown wide, his bare chest heaving, the sound of your name on his lips. “I always find such interest in seeing more of this side of you. I know my husband the poet, the herald, the romantic, but I see seldom see my husband the warrior.”

“Truly, I prefer the quill to the sword, but I cannot deny a good bout brings a certain sense of joy to me.” He says, as you both wave goodbye to Taethrien and Iandor.

“You fight well, as you always have.” You compliment, leaning your head against his arm as you walk back to your shared chambers. You must cease these thoughts, stifle the heat, lest you become a lecher for your own husband.

“I am better with a bow.” He deflects, ever so humble.

“You are skilled with both, though I would not say you are a better archer than swordsman.” You tease. “That title belongs to Galadriel.”

Though you say it, your mind’s eye still conjures an image. His deft hands wrapped around the bow, his broad shoulder spread, his spine straight, his arms taut as he pulls back the arrow. Heat rushes through you once more, and you bite the inside of your cheek to clear your mind.

“Yes, I know it is your preference, but it is not…” Elrond stretches his arms behind his head, a small groan slipping past his lips, and you all but trip over your own feet.

“It is not what?” He asks, his hands flying out to steady you. His touch is lightning, striking through you, setting fire to the desire that had been bubbling within you since his blade had met its first foe in the early hours of the morn.

“Stars, Elrond, simply—” You grab him by the collar of his leathers and yank him down, your lips melding with his, frantic and fevered.

He melts into your touch, lips parting as his grip tightens on you, dragging you closer.

You press yourself against him, walking him backwards until his back meets the wall, a surprised gasp escaping him.

“We are still along the path; anyone could come upon us.” He breathes, loathe to separate his lips from yours.

“We will hear them before they do.” You assure him, though you doubt your vigilance and his, when your lips leave his own, trailing across his chiseled jaw, up to his ear, taking his earlobe between your teeth.

Elrond lets out a strangled moan, the sound shooting through you, warming you like Dwarven ale. “Fenedhis, y/n, please.”

You press a chaste kiss to the place beneath his ear, and return your lips to his jaw, your fingertips replacing your teeth, tracing the shell of his ear. “Of course, my love, anything you desire.”

He groans lowly, his fingers bunching in your skirts as he tries to calm himself. “My sweet starlight, do not torture me.”

You untangle one of his hands, and slide it beneath your skirts, a shiver running through you when he grips your thigh and drags you closer. “I would never. I want only to give you what you desire, remember?”

His chest brushes against yours with each breath, leather against silk, desire swirling between you, as he leans down to capture your lips, stopping a hairbreadth away. “Let us return to our chambers then, it seems you much to give me.”

TROP tag list: @nyctophilic0vitnir, @elronds-pointy-ears, @elrondscalaquendi, @dilf-superiority, @jesticace, @emmyspov, @elrondswifey, @victoria-styles, @90angiex, @lucypaulette

#meg's writing #elrond x y/n #elrond x reader #elrond x you #young elrond x reader #young elrond #rop elrond x reader #rop elrond #elrond peredhel #thanks for the ask!#mail time

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zais-zafu · 6 months ago

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🫧 every manifestation technique & when / why to use it 🫧

this post is going to focus on law of assumption techniques. since there are a lot out there, I figured creating this post will help in knowing which techniques suit u and for what situations to use.

btw, you can find my routine for manifesting here. now, let's begin!

🫧 building ur self concept (sc)

creating a new identity or theme around yourself where you know you are powerful, limitless, and worthy of all your desires.

this is more of a framework than a technique since it relies on different techniques, such as affirming and journaling to acheive it.

I think it is worth mentioning improving your sc cos I believe that it is the foundation of powerful manifesting, yeah some might say "you don't need a high self concept to manifest" & I am not here to disagree w u but consider this: u believing that ur sc doesn't matter is literally part of you sc so u are essentially affirming for sc every time you say that

"you don't need a high sc to manifest" is equivelant to "I am enough as I am" and "I deserve everything I want, just because," which are sc affirmations.

🪷 use this if you wanna

work through your limiting beliefs

instead of having to affirm for sp, friends, family, etc. all the time, why not fix your self concept around love and step into your worth once and for all?

become an automatic manifestor of good things

think of successful people who've never heard of loa, how did they do it? they built an amazing sc about themselves. that is what we call confidence or charisma.

become happier, more confident, and stable/at peace

also, improving one's self concept is a foundation of therapy, coaching, and other non-loa disciplines that are concerned with improving one's life

🫧 affirming & affirmation tapes

repeating postive statements through thinking them, saying them (affirming), or hearing them (tapes). could be done with focus / feelings (focused affriming) or without (robotic affirming).

🪷 use this if you wanna

focus on a specfic desire & aligning to it

sc is general & that's great, but affirming is better if you wanna be specific

reprogram both the conscious and the subconscious

this method helps reprogram the subconscious through repetition but also your conscious through discipline and observing your thoughts meticulously

regulate your nervous system + be reminded that you already have it

I will talk more about regulation later, but affirmations can help you when you are feeling anxious or doubt since they divert your focus and serve as a good reminder of that which is true.

use an effortless way to manifest

affirmations are the easiest method to try because you can do it anywhere, anytime, and anyone can use them (if you have trouble visualising)

🫧 mirror work

basically you face a mirror and speak your affrimations, typically done around topics such as self worth/love

can be done using a timer or a pre prepared script or for however long you want

🪷 use this if you wanna

build your relationship with yourself

mirror work is one of the most effective ways to build your foundation of self love. it will help you get used to how you look, your smile. & it will also build your confidence

speaking the affirmations while facing yourself creates a deep connection with yourself and the words you speak. I really can't reccomend it enough cos each session will have you feeling more loved, limitless, & grateful

work on your self concept

since mirror work deals with self love & confidence topics, it really helps build your self concept.

and ofc you can speak your desires affirmations when doing mirror work, but even that feels different. it will feel like speaking worth and confidence into yourself, which ultimately builds your self concept! (esp. in that specific area of manifesting, for example money, love, beauty, etc.)

feel your affirmations

you don't have to feel them real, but it does make things easier/faster. speaking to the mirror helps the affirmations actually reach you + makes them feel personal

🫧 subliminals

they are affirmations layered over another sound so they become inaudible & pass right through to your subconscious mind

🪷 use this if you wanna

have 'unrealistic' & fast results

since this technique deals with your subconscious mind which readily accepts whatever it is given, the results are much faster & mindblowing

listen to affirmations but can't or don't want to

so if you're busy with life and can't find the time to affirm or if you wanna multi-task (practice loa + work), you can use subliminals since you can play them in the background whil living your life

you will also find that they work as an excellent manifesting tool as they don't require effort, focus, or intent for them to work

saturate your mind with mulitple topics

this is one of the techniques to use if you have mulitple things you wanna manifest but wanna affirm for all of them since you can listen to as many subliminals as you want

+ a single, very short subliminal can list out numerous benefits since it also utilises layering and speeding up the affirmation to allow for more repetition to occur

🫧 scripting

basically, repeatedly journaling about what you wanna experience as if it already manifested

🪷 use this if you wanna

visualise but prefer thinking in words

I use both visualistation & scripting. both have their perks. sometimes scripting helps me soak myself into the narrative, it helps me understand what I want & how the materialisation of the desire will look like.

it really helps me get into the zone since I love journaling like I am talking to someone about all the good things that already happened

(the interview method could serve as a link between both scripting and visualising & it is a method I really like!)

🫧 inner & imaginary conversations

along the same lines, you can utilise inner conversations (basically positive self talk) or imagined ones (basically the interview method)

ngl, I love talking to myself & it is probably how I used to manifest a lot of things before I learnt of loa.

I also like using ai. basically I open a chatbot and have a conversation with it about my desire like I alr have it, rampage with it, or practice gratitude using it

🪷 use this if you wanna

use a fun way to manifest

we all love making scenarios in our head, so instead of having imaginary arguments in the shower, make these scenarios/conversations favourable to your new story

work on/correct ur mental diet

your mental diet refers to the collection of natural thoughts that you think throughout the day.

the difference between a good & a bad mental diet is the difference between an optimist & a pessimist, a confident person & an insecure person

if you watch the inner conversations you have intently and correct it whenever it doesn't algin with what you want, you will start having better thoughts involuntarily, which will help you automatically & instantly manifest good things into your life

🫧 visualisation

basically daydreaming with intent, so you decide what you want to visualise (usually a short scene so you can loop it) + practice experiencing it from the first pov to generate the feeling / idea that you are truly experiencing it

I know some don't like visualising cos they can't do it, and I want y'all to know that visualisation is a practice. it takes time to be able to visualise vividly and feel like it real, so practice! you might not be able to do it at first but you will get better with time.

for me, my visualisations used to be much more hazy, unclear, and mostly audible but now I can see & feel with my five senses what I wanna visualise + before, I was only able to visualise in 3rd pov but the more I practiced 1st pov, the more naturally it started coming to me

there are several other visualisation techniques to apply, such as SATS, mind movies, and vision boards. I will talk more on them later.

🪷 use this if you wanna

understand what u desire much deeply

like scripting, this method helps generate feelings, which could help aid you in understanding what is it that you want to manifest & why, like what is the real end goal here?

live in the state of wish fulfilled

our minds can't tell the difference from between a real image and imagined one so vividly visualising helps in impressing the subconscious mind into believing that it already happened.

it also allows you to have fun in imagination, experience the good feelings that come with your desires with just the power of your mind, and thus helps you stop relying on the 3d for validation; thus you are now in the state of wish fulfilled!

🫧 SATS

this is a specific form of visualisation that Neville coined & you do it right before sleeping, aka the State Akin To Sleep or SATS

what is most important about it is to do it until you sleep, you live the scene as if it is real, and you loop it.

there's a variation of it called the lullaby method, which is about repeating a single affirmation until you sleep. this can be helpful to those who prefer affirming over visualising (but like I said u can always get better at visualising!)

🪷 use this if you wanna

manifest insanely quickly, for emergencies, time crunches, etc.

this method is basically a shortcut to your sub mind. so when I say it works insanely fast I mean it, like you will see results the very next day.

I like to use specific scenarios / manifestation that I want to happen super quickly

be efficient

this method is quite efficient due to the short time it takes to do (just a few minutes before you sleep) compared to the results you get.

ease the resistance

you might find that you have specific topics or concepts (such as revision) that you feel are "harder to manifest." SATS can be a great technique to use in that case since it impresses the subconscious much more easily, allowing you to feel less resistant / dysregulated.

🫧 mind movies / vision boards

a vision board is a collection of pictures which includes the experiences / things you wanna manifest. I have a whole post on how to create much more effective vision boards that you can check out!

a mind movie is similar to that but, instead of a board, it is a video of these pictures with narration, affirmations, or music accompanying it.

🪷 use this if you wanna

have preestablished visualisations created for you

instead of starting to visualise from scratch you can use those techniques as inspo + you can (esp. w the mind movie) just watch / look passively consuming the pictures, without having to actively imagine anything

incorporate visual subliminals

the post I mentioned above talks about visual subs in vision boards but basically you can add affirmations in low opacity, small font, or ones that quickly disappear, which you won't consciously see but your subconscious mind will register them.

provides the added benefit of incoproprating subs.

🫧 list method

you create a list of all your desires and then you affirm for the entire list using affirmations such as "my list manifested," "I have everything on my list," etc.

🪷 use this if you wanna

affirm but got numerous desires

instead of affirming for each of the million desires you got, affirm for your list. it will help remove some of the anxiety with feeling like you are not affirming enough for a topic or the dreadful choice paralysis of what you need to affirm for next.

script in a bullet point format

the list method is similar to a very simplified script, but you seperate the desires using bullets.

🫧 nervous system regulation (nsr)

this is not one technique, rather, it encompasses a lot of healing practices such as journaling, eft tapping, meditation, exercise, breath work, etc.

🪷 use this if you wanna

stabilise & ground yourself so you can feel happier and more peaceful

these techniques help you feel in alignment and be in the state of wish fulfilled

it can also help when you are experiencing upleasant feelings or unhelpful old stories

become more grateful for what you have

when your mind is cluttered and you trying to manifest desperately, it could cloud you judgement from seeing how beautiful your life is rn. NSR aims to remove that clutter and allows you to see reality for what it truly is: ever changing and honestly really not as bad as you make it out to be

as long as you are doing fine in this present moment, you're good (would recommend reading the Power of Now for more)

better understand your thinking patterns and any unconscious core beliefs

sometimes we wanna work on building a better self concept, becoming better people, understanding ourselves, or being much happier but we just don't know what exactly is holding us back,

NSR can help you with that, as you allow your mind to speak for itself or allow yourself to relax into your body you can better understand yourself and what you need to change.

🫧 void state / self hypnosis

they mean similar things as far as I am aware, which is the meditative state where your body is asleep but your mind is awake and receptive to whatever affrimations it receives

🪷 use this if you wanna

relax

it could serve as a great nsr technique, I personally used self hypnosis a lot before learning of loa because I found it hard to relax and short meditations weren't effective.

now I am able to relax so easily that I can do short meditations + a lot of health problems born out of chronic stress have disappeared

become highly suggestible

like I said your mind is awake but has slowed into a relaxed state, allowing it to accept any affirmations or assumptions it hears without judgement, it won't deny whatever you are saying to it & will accept it as truth causing you to shift/manifest instantly

🫧 revision

revision is technique used to 'revise the past,' which is not only about changing how you look at your past, but what actually happened too. there are numerous stories of people revising death and other unfavourable situations so it is quite powerful. I don't personally use it a lot (beyond affirming once for what I wanna revise) because I prefer focusing on the present (& the future)

🪷 use this if you wanna

change the past

pretty self explanatory, just affirm, visualise, and meditate on the revised story until it shows up

change your (limiting) beliefs & state

like I said, part of revising is changing your idea about what happened, this happens through changing your beliefs to know that time is a construct and that changing anything, at any point of time, is possible + shifting your state (feelings + thoughts) about what happened

self regulate

since you're shifting your state around something unfavourable, you're practicing regulating your mind + body & actually shifting to a more relaxing and fulfilling timeline

affirm in past tense

honestly affriming in past instead of present tense feels really powerful sometimes so even if you don't wanna revise anything, just affirming in past tense can make the affirmation sound more natural, like it has always been that way

🫧 acting as if

acting as if is basically thinking, feeling, and behaving like the person who has all of your desires aka your highest self. this is one of the most basic ways to building SC and it is a fun way of roleplay that will help you become the best version of you automatically. one thing I like about this technique is that it helps in detaching from the 3d and understanding that it is not the world that has to change for you to be happy, but rather you (your internal state has to change)

🪷 use this if you wanna

stop self-sabotaging

when you start acting like the desired version of you, you will come face to face with all the ways you're NOT yet being that version of you, which is the first step to stop being sabotaging your own success. through journaling and other techniques, these unfavourable habit of thinking, feeling, and behaving will be dropped

prepare yourself to be the person who can and will live this life

in relation to self sabotage, sometimes we subconsciously don't feel ready for all of the success and happiness we want. we don't believe we're worthy of it. as a result, we don't allow it to happen. but if you already lived as that version of you who you believe would have achieved it you will build a very solid self concept that such doubts and fears won't hold any truth any more.

detach

like I said, when you live as if this is your dream life, you realise that your dream life is not the keeper of your happiness, but rather it is you. you decide if you want to be happy, you decide if a circumstance has any meaning, whether positive or negative.

get better at visualising

in my experience, acting as if allows me to better visualise since I am seeing the world from the eyes of the highest version of me. it feels like my daydreams automatically align to what I wanna visualise and I can visualise at any given time of day, with my eyes open even

this all for the techniques, hope you enjoyed this post. I got an epiphany for it last night at like 2 am and started writing lol

on a last note, I'd like you to know all of these methods are connected and can overlap so make sure you are nourishing each area of manifesting (sc, alignment to desires, nsr, etc.) to live a fulfilling life while also getting what you want!

🫧 see u soon, loves 🫧

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aurynsia · 2 months ago

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Unrequited, Terrifying Chapter 2

James Potter x Reader

Summary: After receiving a mysterious letter left under your door, you begin to search for the culprit…

Warnings: Extremely fluffy, nervous!james x shy!reader, some subtle wolfstar action in the background, reader plays hard to get without intending to, idiots in love, potentially a slow burn, oc!friends, lovesick!james x salty!reader, no use of Y/N, reader is referred to with she/her pronouns, NOT EDITED!

Word count: 1.7K

Series Masterlist

Chapter 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

——————— ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ ———————

“Has anyone got any better ideas?” James asked, slumping against the wall of his dorm room with desperation plastered across his face. An hour into the school year and the Marauders were already failing in their attempts to woo James’ crush.

“I don’t know, Prongs. We’ve established that you can’t just approach the poor thing and ask her to marry you, THAT would be a horrible attempt at a relationship. You also can’t stalk her the entire year, that’s illegal.” Peter pondered, looking concentrated in thought. “James,” Remus broke his silence, “You’re a smart boy under that flirty exterior. You get good grades and you know how to write. Why don’t you just write down how you feel and pass it along?”

“Remus…you genius.” James replied with complete sincerity, dashing to hug the boy who might have just saved his chances with you. “That’s perfect! She won’t feel expected to respond, I can say all I need to say without tensing up around her, and I don’t even have to expose myself if she doesn’t like me back! It can be anonymous, yes!” James rambled as he searched his desk for a spare sheet of paper and a quill, ignoring the silent glances his friends gave to one another, teasing him mentally.

A sweet baby blue envelope was retrieved from his stack of correspondence material, lined on his desk as he began to write. “Looks like we don’t need to tell you what to say then, Prongsie?” Sirius commented to the quiet room as all four of them attended to their own business. James hummed in reply, tongue sticking out from his lips in concentration as his eyebrows dipped together. “Just have…to get this…right…” he murmured, pouring his heart out onto the paper.

Not too subtle, but refined, like a gentleman. Not too pushy, but still explicit in his feelings. Anonymous, but hinting at who your new secret admirer could possibly be. A flourish of shifting paper filled the quiet air as James tucked his note into the envelope, finally scribbling your name on the surface.

Stood in front of your dorm room, James shifted his weight from his left foot to his right as he weighed his options. Your uncharacteristic chatter could be heard from behind the wood, though all he could make out were his friends’ names and an unmistakably annoyed tone hung on your words.

“James” you continued, and his heart began to swim laps around his chest. You sounded confused and frustrated as you rambled on, allowing James to take a beat as he collected himself.

Your voice softened, and he took this as his call to action. He slipped the note beneath the door and pursued the safety of his own dorm before he could get caught.

——————— ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ ———————

“EHEM! ‘To the only creature I could ever admire,’” Charlie began her dramatic reading of the mysterious note left under your dorm room door. “I have the greatest honour in being met with your stunning eyes, soft skin and quiet personality everyday when I pass you in the hall. The classes I share with you are moments in which my heart flutters at the sound of your gentle voice. The intelligence you hold and your refined sensibility could never be matched by a boy like me-’ ooh it’s a boy!! Ehem, sorry…‘but this is my best effort at showing that I am worthy of your love. I’ve seen the beauty you hold behind those guarded walls and I would sell my soul to bathe in its light. Make me yours, and I’ll give you the moon, the sun, and the stars in the sky.’ Oh! And it’s signed, ‘Forever yours…’”

You were stunned into an impression of a statue, barely showing the rise and fall of your chest. Hope smirked at the deep blush hovering over your cheeks while Charlie caught her breath from her award-winning performance. The room was still, a curiosity lingering in the air as all three of you began to silently ponder, who could this mysterious suitor be?

“Well, it says here that he thinks you’re out of his league- oh, damn! That doesn’t narrow it down…” Charlie joked to ease the tension and a fit of giggles erupted from the surface of your bed. “If it were up to me, dear, I’d start crossing names off of a list!” Hope laughed, though her smile fell as you and Charlie looked at her with faces of realisation.

“That’s what we’ll do.” You spoke for the first time since the note arrived, “We’ll write down every boy who could fit this description and narrow down the options!” You said with a glint of determination in your eye.

“So you’re interested in this secret admirer?” Charlie smirked, though her face emitted a sense of hope. “If he can speak so honestly about all of this,” you gestured to the note, “then I believe his maturity might just be worth it.”

——————— ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ ———————

Four pairs of eyes locked on you as you entered the Great Hall for breakfast. James was visibly more flustered than the others, but the rest of them were equally as invested in your reaction to the note.

You and your friends sat down with quiet whispers and glances down the table. As your eyes passed over the group of trouble makers they immediately paid special interest to their plates of food. Sirius began to pick at his eggs, Peter at his fruit and Remus stole quick sips from his juice. James gulped around nothing as he stared at his reflection in his plate, willing the bright flare of red occupying his face to fade away.

Once the three of you had moved your focus to a small huddle around your breakfast, the selection of Gryffindor boys immediately returned to ogling. “Can any of you see what they’re doing? Is that a quill in her hand?” Peter questioned. You shared quick giggles with your friends that disrupted the secrecy of your activity. The Marauders couldn’t quite place what you were doing, but they knew it would have something to do with the letter.

“An eye for mischief that one has, Prongs, what a cheeky couple you’d make- Ouch!” Sirius was interrupted by a sharp kick from his best friend under the table, though James’ eyes never left your frame.

Suddenly, your group took on faces of empathy, severity and concern, glancing at each other from your hunched positions. You trained your gaze on the boys who were discussing you, once again causing them to occupy themselves with the activities of breakfast.

After a lingering stare, you shifted back to the safety of your team and resumed your actions with a resolved expression.

“What do you think that was all about- Ow Prongs, what the bloody hell did I do?”

——————— ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ ———————

You gently opened the doors to the Great Hall, quill and notebook tucked behind your back. Charlie and Hope accompanied you to seats by the Gryffindor table, glancing over the potential perpetrators of last night’s events.

With a final look over your eligible bachelors, you sat down and began to work, sheltered by your friends. “I think this is pretty much the entire male cohort of Gryffindor…” you giggled breathlessly, pondering the dense list of names placed in front of you. Charlie and Hope joined in on your humour, scanning the list to double check your memory, then glancing around once more.

“Oh…um, w-well,” Charlie started, “there is one group we haven’t quite considered yet…” You and Hope turned towards the girl, who glared at you with an uncharacteristically subtle, mental comment. All three of you turned to face the Marauders, who were busy devouring their plates full of breakfast.

Your gaze lingered on each one. Sirius was no match for your intelligence and humility. You were certainly out of Peter’s league. Remus could convey that quiet poeticism that made you blush when the note was read out. James was always unpredictable. He did succeed in classes and he could potentially feel intimidated by your presence, or he could just be a dickhead. Either way, all four boys were, unfortunately, eligible suspects.

You returned to your coven of secrecy, hunched forms plotting over your notebook. You listed the boys below the pre-existing list of Gryffindor inhabitants that you shared classes with. ‘Sirius, Peter, Remus, James.’

——————— ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ ———————

Potions class finally arrived as the sun threatened to set in the faded sky. James rushed to his seat, close enough to you to feel sickeningly sweet without making it too weird. He wasn’t being too weird about all of this, right? No, the note was the right approach.

You drifted airily to your seat a few minutes later, resting on the chair as you retrieved your equipment. James felt his heart fight against his chest, pushing to be released from his lovesick body. A goofy smile captured his expression as he gazed at the back of your head in a daze, eventually interrupted by the beginning of class.

Potions came and went, with James struggling to keep his good grades with you just grazing the edges of his eye line. As the class began to fizzle away, and books found themselves tucked in bags or hugged towards chests, James decided this was his chance. Making his way to the front of the class, he smirked with confidence as he attempted to ask for his grade on the most recent assignment.

As he approached the teacher’s desk, he quickly dropped a folded note on your desk as you leaned into your bag on the opposite side. He promptly began his banter as you returned upright, watching as you curiously discovered the note in his peripheral vision.

“…Potter, you’ll get the grade at the same time as the rest of your class. Have some consideration for my free-time the next time you think to ask.” The professor’s words draw his attention back to their discussion, excusing himself with “Apologies, Professor! Have a good evening!” unusually happy for someone who just discovered they wouldn’t know their grade for at least another week.

As he swiftly moved towards his own belongings, a little bit too cocky for his own good and high on the success of his plan, he met a classmate’s back with a thump.

“Oh Merlin, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to…” He realised who he had run into, your sweet fingers pinching the note you had yet to open as you swivelled around to face him, curiously. “Um, I- I’m sorry!” He rambled as he inched past you, scooping up his belongings and dashing out of the classroom.

Bollocks.

——————— ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ ———————

A/N: TYSM for all the support on the first part! This chapter should hopefully move the story along so we can get to the real fluff >:3 As always, likes and reblogs are immensely appreciated! Comment for part 3 <3

#james potter x fem!reader #james potter x reader #james potter fic #dead gay wizards from the 70s #aaron taylor johnson #james potter x you #james potter fanfiction #james potter imagine #fanfiction #fanfic #fic series #marauders #marauders era #the marauders

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lisafication · 1 year ago

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This post is uh, extremely normal I swear

So hello yes I am absolutely On My Bullshit regarding my new favourite game.

That’s right, it’s the cannibal incest game, The Coffin of Andy and Leyley. And I’m here to shove five thousand words of pretentious analysis down your throat because, and I do not exaggerate, I think it is one of, if not the best written game I have ever played. And I have played a lot of games, including Baldur’s Gate 3, Final Fantasy XIV and Undertale, to name a few narrative luminaries to come to mind.

That wordcount is not an exaggeration. My brainworms are extremely powerful and now you can share them with me as I walk you through my insane skyscraper of inference-driven analysis.

Or you can click away. I really wouldn’t blame you, it’s quite a lot.

Content Warnings: …Yes?

(To drop the bit for a moment, The Coffin of Andy and Leyley covers extremely disturbing material and challenges you to examine aspects of living in this world that many have taken for granted all their life, it is not a comfortable game, this will cover similar topics and will often echo the game’s unremitting scepticism on basic principles of society and humanity and you should look after yourself first. My Content Warning is framed as a joke, but it’s also quite real in that the game is designed to make you uncomfortable and there’s no shame in that not being for you.)

This was originally posted on and formatted for Sufficient Velocity, and you can probably more easily read and discuss it with me here.

With that said, let’s dig in. I have had to split this into multiple posts because tumblr will only allow so many images. There will be spoilers for all endings.

She’s excited, are you?

It’s All About Ashley

It really is, isn’t it? I mean, for approximately eighty percent of the total game as currently released and the entirety of Episode 1, you’re in control of Ashley, just as she’s in control of her and Andrew’s relationship for 80% of the game, up until the various ending sequences where it begins to slip. The only other characters who really matter at all in and of themselves are Andrew and her mother — and the former is under her thumb, and she eats the latter. It’s all about Ashley. Even her obsession with Andrew is, ultimately, about Ashley.

But who is Ashley? What is Ashley? Why is Ashley, even? Let’s take a look.

Ashley as presented to us in Episode 1 is very straightforward, so let’s list off the traits we’re given — she is malicious, she is fearless, she lacks empathy, she doesn’t have anything resembling a conscience, she demands Andrew belong to her and her alone, she has him at her beck and call.

In Episode 2, we’re ostensibly shown how she has him at her beck and call— she leverages the threat of reporting Nina’s death over him and had him swear to be with her forever. We’re shown that even as a child she was “just, like that” — but as a child, she hadn’t learnt to live with it yet, to laugh at the farce of it all.

Yeah, exactly like that!

And she does this throughout Episode 1 — The Coffin of Andy and Leyley is a remarkably silly game much of the time, finding moments of absurdity and levity against a backdrop blacker than pitch — and most of the time, your internal narration is coming from Ashley and the jokes will not-infrequently come at her own expense.

She will later get negged by her human sacrifice for her poor ritual circle drawing

Her reaction to being told that her soul is as dark and viscous as tar is “You guess you already knew that” — it’s confirmation to her, not new information. Ashley knows who she is. But who taught her this? There’s layers to this, nothing in this game is as simple and straightforward as it appears at first sight, which is why I’ve been obsessing over it for days.

While it’s common in fiction, the truth of the matter is, most ‘bad people’ really do think they’re good people. But Ashley has never once thought of herself as a good person — or perhaps better put as a person worthy of love — as we learn across Episodes 1 & 2, with our flashbacks to Andy and Leyley and the VERY VERY QUIET!!!

I really wish I had space in this essay to talk about this, but I’d like to touch on these being traits usually more easily forgiven in young boys than young girls at some point.

If she removes all other options, only then can she expect him to like her.

This is something that is echoed in the modern day — her seeming self-assurance is easily shaken and she reaches out to the world — usually Andrew — to affirm and validate her, soothing her insecurities, using any tool she deems necessary. Even when her life is on the line when Andrew has her by the throat at the climax of Episode 1, the only ‘compelling reason’ she can give Andrew to not kill her is her ability to soothe his nightmares. When he tells her there are sleeping pills for that…

Most people would have a bit more to argue for their existence.

While she, unlike Andrew, acknowledges having had friends before the quarantine… you know she’s got a point that they didn’t even bother to answer her calls, that was clearly not something the state was interfering with given Andrew’s calls with his mother and his girlfriend, and given her general demeanour it’s not hard to imagine that… they weren’t ever very close. When we see her and Nina talk in the infamous ‘box scene’, it’s clear that Nina doesn’t like her very much, despite Andrew’s assessment of Nina as being one of Ashley’s friends.

We see further support for her general lack of companionship in her dream sequence in the Burial route — Leyley and Leyley Alone. No matter what you do, you can’t place the pink plushy at the family table, the flowers won’t bloom if you give the Julia and Nina plushies her own as a companion instead of Andrew’s — and if you’re bold enough to go for the ‘incest route’, in the ‘Love’ room you see that no one ever looks happy to be with her in the childlike depictions of her history, nor is she happy in turn, save for when she’s with Andrew. In a bit of heavy-handed metaphor, the player then overwrites all of these tense, upset, hard moments with Andrew, having him fill in for everyone else in life — and happy with her.

Once Upon A Lousy Life…

THE END

And that’s why she needs him to affirm her, because no one else ever has and no one else ever will. It’s even included in their comic beats — when the siblings are getting along well, they’ll often play a game where Andrew dramatically overpraises Ashley while she demands more; it’s a comedic bit but I mean — it really does matter to her!

For the record, she opened a door. She gets a little heart in a speech bubble after this exchange.

We have a great example of this dynamic, that of insecurity and affirmation, in Episode 1, after Andrew has killed for her, butchered for her, his girlfriend broke up with her, he’s seemingly thrown his entire life away for her… she’s still insecure over her relationship with him, she’s uncertain of her control and she needs him to reaffirm it for her.

This is her victory, surely?

Andrew affirms her once, with his usual dead-eyed look.

But she's still not so sure.

He actively reaches out to affirm her again with cheer.

Look how happy she is!

While it’s most obvious and clear cut here, it’s hardly the only case. Let’s look back to the aftermath of Andy and Leyley and the VERY VERY QUIET!!! (I’m not using the other name). Leyley is, after similarly extreme acts — he murdered a girl and hid her body for her — convinced Andy doesn’t like her and she needs this leverage to keep him around, to meet her basic needs for survival. Because that’s what this is — she receives no care of affection elsewhere, so she forces it out of the only source she sees available through the means she sees as necessary.

I really hope we see some of their earlier childhood in Episode 3

What exactly made her like this? Was it just neglect, or something more specific…

She needs this to be the case because otherwise she doesn’t believe he’d stay.

This pattern repeats throughout — Ashley’s insecurities are hit on and she reaches out to Andy to affirm that she is not alone, and she will use any and every tool to exploit her ostensible control over him and force him to be what she needs him to be — and as long as she has that, as long as she is everything to him and it’s not possible for him to leave, she’s happy. As long as she thinks he loves her in her very particular, very peculiar view of love, she’s content, come what may. As long as Andy and Leyley are together, they can take on the world.

Let’s talk about that view of love, because there’s always more layers to unpack here I’m only scratching the surface with this essay — Ashley consistently refers to anyone else Andrew may have befriended or spent time with as a whore, a slut, a bitch — highly gendered insults that bring to mind the idea that he’s cheating in some way. But it’s not even about sex — when Andrew mentions that their parents had friends, she accuses them of cheating on each other in the same way!

There’s a lot to unpack about Ashley’s view of femininity and the role the patriarchy plays in their relationship.

Any kind of emotional engagement, any kind of commitment, any kind of life outside of your significant other is, to Ashley, cheating. Because that’s what she needs from Andrew, a seeming complete and total commitment, secure in her place as the only thing in his life, because she cannot understand anyone picking her if they have a choice.

This insecurity she has in her relationship is what drives her to empower the trinket — he can’t leave her as long as she can protect him with prophetic dreams, after all. She needs every kind of leverage she can get because until she succeeds in being everything to him, in devouring him so completely she has him in her thrall mind, body and soul she can’t be sure of herself — hell, her dream sequence in Burial has you placing Andrew’s signature green plushy, ‘the best thing in the world’ in a cage far away from anything else.

Ultimately, it really is all about Ashley — even her seeming obsession with Andrew ultimately comes back to her own insecurities. If she is everything to ‘the best thing in the world’, some of that ‘best’ must surely reflect on her!

But that’s enough about the more normal, straightforward and understandable sibling.

That was not a joke.

Andrew’s Rank 100 Deception

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he did not exist.

Let me explain.

You might have noticed that in the previous section I often use language such as ‘ostensibly’ or ‘seemingly’ to describe Andy and Leyley’s relationship, and there’s a good reason for that. From the beginning of the game through to its end, Andrew is lying to you, the player, without ever falsely representing or misinforming you about events that occurred.

The common, or obvious ‘initial take’ on Andrew as presented in Episode 1 is fairly straightforward. The game primes you to think this way, it frames things and strings reveals just right so as to make it very easy to overlook the incongruities it introduces in Episode 2. He’s a victim. Plain and simple, Ashley is his abuser and he is her victim and would be fine, a normal albeit kinda depressed guy without her.

It really is not a difficult conclusion to draw

You can go all the way through the game, have him try to accept his mother’s olive branch and enter the Decay route as a method for him to finally actualise his desire to get out from Ashley’s thumb and it makes sense, it’s a reasonable way for the story to go, given his character.

You see him this way because the game primes you in Episode 1 to view their relationship like Andrew does — he’s lying. He’s lying to himself, he’s lying to Ashley and he’s so good at it — Deception Rank 100 — he even lies to you. Without misrepresenting a single event or otherwise misleading you directly, the game gets you to buy into his preferred self-perception. Nina? Ashley. Julia? Ashley. The murders they commit in the course of the game? Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, it’s not his fault he’s not to blame he’s just a doormat at the beck and call of his demonic sister.

But he wants to be there. From the very outset, the very first puzzle, that’s made clear. Does anyone else remember this exchange, from right at the beginning of the game?

Ashley wants to investigate the music!

Andrew disapproves…

…Or does he?!

Like. Listen. Okay. You do not frown when saying ‘Nope’ and then smile when saying that you’ll instead tag along if they do it if your heart is at all in the no. That’s not an objection, that’s using Ashley as his excuse. Especially if you immediately throw her the balcony key that she could not possibly have gotten from you by force (more on Andrew’s ability to use force later).

This is the very first time you control both characters together with Andrew following Ashley instead of off on his own, the first adventure, the first puzzle!

But put a pin in that for now, let’s talk about his initial framing in Episode 2 first. Episode 1 has set us up to, generally speaking, believe the superficial framing of the siblings as portrayed in its promotional art:

The question that we then ask, right at the heart of it is… why is he a doormat? We explore this in his dream sequence in Episode 2, which does make it clear that the boy’s not okay but— it’s real easy, given the priming from Episode 1 to make you think that he’s the one with the originally functional moral compass, to think that that him being fucked up is damage done to him by Nina’s death and being bound to Ashley for his entire life. She corrupted him.

But, well, is that the case?

You're primed to ignore this as manipulation (which it is) but the best manipulation has some truth to it.

Precisely two things spur Andrew to action in the entire game, consistently — they are the fear of consequences and Ashley. And the first incident of that fear, the very first time we’re shown his seeming moral compass as a kid — the first time it’s really hammered home that it’s a fear of consequences rather than any true moral qualms is after Nina’s death. And why does he fear consequences here?

……

The ‘natural’ read that many take away from this sequence, particularly those who have only played Decay, is that Ashley browbeat him into doing this against his will, using emotional blackmail to overwhelm his objections, and then used the event itself to bind him to her forever as her personal doormat.

In a strict sense, this is true. But this doesn’t match up with the details, something the game uses shock to encourage you to overlook. That outburst is before any kind of threat has been made, and absolutely nothing either of them say anything about it being morally bad until Ashley weaponises ‘you’re a bad person’ against Andrew — morality didn’t seem to enter his mind or the equation at all until Ashley brought it up. More than that, his greatest fear and driving motivation even prior to that is, as shown above, being taken away from Ashley.

She, of course, recognises this and uses it against him. But she never needed to, it didn’t change anything about Andrew’s attachment to her, it was there to address her own insecurities.

Just like to touch on how a lot of his affirmations are preceded by him confirming her insecurities.

I adore this phrasing

There’s a second prong to this as well, to the question of ‘who really calls the shots here’ because — Andrew can, at any stage, apply an ‘ultimate veto’ of physical violence. The game is very clear to the player that that is on the table — even when they were children, when Andy swears their blood oath, he briefly considers killing her — and take note of how he ultimately got a ‘winning’ condition out of her by not specifying there wouldn’t be others and she is forced to accept that, there. Even outside of their most serious confrontations, Ashley is portrayed as having to convince, manipulate or otherwise coerce Andrew into going along with her schemes — she really can’t make him do anything, she doesn’t have the supremacy in violence and, to a lesser extent, capability that would allow her to.

Andrew, you are like ten years old.

The truth of the matter is, Ashley can only make Andrew do anything because he lets her. I don’t mean in the sense that I’m saying abuse victims let their abusers emotionally abuse them, I mean in the sense that he is clearly considering his options on the table and choosing to discard those that could stop her, or bring an end to any of this. He needs her.

But it’s true that he hates her, too. He has to hate her, because if he doesn’t hate her, if he isn’t forced to have done this, that means… he’s responsible. And nothing, at the start of the story, is as important to Andrew as avoiding the consequences of his own actions, not even Ashley. By the midpoint, he loves her, he hates her, he can’t live without her, he wants to kill her — by the end… well, that depends if you’re on Decay or Burial, but more on that in a bit.

A great scene to study for this dynamic is the climax of Episode 1, when Andrew grabs Ashley by the throat and considers strangling her to death. She’s pushed him too far with hurtful words and assault, and he’s seemingly had enough.

It’s still framed as a question of risk, of consequences happening to him.

Like, this is not the usual behaviour of someone who’s been pushed past their breaking point.

He tells Ashley that he wants to kill her, because she’s just going to throw another fit and that’s a risk to him. She is… not framed as being able to fight back (she does have a gun here, and more on that in a later essay, maybe). He’s so calculated in how he approaches his use of violence here, which isn’t at all what you’d expect of someone about to commit a crime of passion… but it’s very easy to overlook because of the abuser/victim narrative that the player fits his behaviour into the narrative that the game primes them to accept, brushing incongruities under the carpet.

At the start of Episode 2, we get to control Andrew for the first time, and the first obvious holes in his cover start to show. Some of this is optional — you only learn that he’s been faking having nightmares in order to share a bed with Ashley if you choose to go back into the motel room and check the bed, for example — but not all of it.

----(See reblogs for the second half)

#the coffin of andy and leyley #tcoaal #andrew graves #ashley graves #spoilers #multipost

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