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this life is mine it did not come to me I chose it I fought for it even the mistakes and the bad days and the regrets they’re all mine

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the person that you could’ve been or the life you could’ve lived isn’t real. it’s an illusion and a fantasy that only exists in your head. all you have is here and now

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you can never be overdressed or overeducated.

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𝔱𝔬𝔭 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔠𝔩𝔞𝔰𝔰

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online library so far:

margaret atwood

the brontës (the complete works is a MASSIVE file fyi)

anne carson

hélène cixous

bell hooks

clarice lispector

audre lorde

virginia woolf

compilations

feminist theory

academic writing (both books and articles)

everything here is in pdf format so you should be able to download and read it on any device. it’s slow going because i have a lot of epubs that i have to convert before uploading and the folders i’ve listed here are neither complete nor comprehensive, but it’s a start! 

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Dealing With Executive Dysfunction - A Masterpost

The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.

The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.

The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.

The “get stuff done while you wait” method.

The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.

The “break the task into smaller steps” method.

The “treat yourself like a pet” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.

The “put on a persona” method.

The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.

The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.

The “wait for a trigger” method.

The “do it for your future self” method.

The “might as well” method.

The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.

The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.

The “make it easy” method.

The “junebugging” method.

The “just show up” method.

The “accept when you need help” method.

The “make it into a game” method.

The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.

The “trick yourself” method.

The “break it into even smaller steps” method.

The “let go of should” method.

The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.

The “fork theory” method.

The “effectivity over aesthetics” method.

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fuuuuck that is my circus. are those…? yep… those are my monkeys….. goddammit.

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btw you will miss this in 5 or 10 years. memory will smooth these circumstances down like a river stone, and you will find yourself longing for a shade of light or a moment of this particular innocence. you don't know about what happens next, and one day that will be the most alluring thing of all. don't leave it all for nostalgia. have a nice night now, whatever night it happens to be.

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“Why is summer mist romantic and autumn mist just sad?”

I Capture the Castle, Dodie Smith

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Patrick Dundon, from "Gratitude"

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Rereading a journal entry from last Christmas where I was like man everyone’s in a relationship this year and I’m over here still getting over my dumb situationship… why is genuine love so elusive….. and this year all I’m thinking about is reading more getting into my dream med schools pushing my body as far as it can go playing instruments traveling maturing retreading my family dynamics etc etc. Things that are actually within my control . Basically genuinely interested in exploring this one wild and precious life and like not bc dating gurus say that makes you attractive but bc being granted this life is so bomb I need to put it to use

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I love the concept of gauging relationships/things through a metric of whether they bring you closer or further from yourself……. Literally just mentally pausing and broaching the question of “am I abandoning myself by perpetuating this relationship/situation” and allowing yourself only binary yes/no answers….. if it’s making you a better or worse person….. if it’s helping you grow in some way (whether it be maturity or happiness or whatever it is) or if it’s stunting you (you are literally just not being yourself)…….. re evaluating from there

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The health insurance industry has a term for this sadistic practice. It's called "step therapy." If the choice is between a more expensive medication that works and a cheaper one that doesn't work as well and might have worse side effects, the insurance company requires that the cheaper drug be used first.

One benefit to the insurance company is that the patient on the cheaper drug might die before they get a chance to use the drug that works but is more expensive. That's money in the bank for the insurance company.

Or, the patient might be so worn down and harmed by the cheaper drug that they just give up the fight to get the drug that will help them. Again, that's bank for the insurance company.

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a phrase that kinda bothers me when talking about women's historical roles in europe is "cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the children." you hear it so often, those exact words in the same order even. and once you learn a little more you realize that the massive gaping hole in that list is fiberwork. im not an expert and have no hard numbers, but i wouldnt be surprised if fiberwork took up nearly as much time as the other three tasks combined, so it's not a trivial omission.

it's not a hot take to say that the mass amnesia about fiberwork is linked to the belittlement of women's work in geneal, but i do think there's a special kind of illusion that is cast by "cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the children." you hear that and think "well i cook and clean and take care of children (or i know someone who does) and i have a sense of how much work that is" and you know of course that cooking and cleaning were more laborious before modern technology, but still, you have a ballpark estimate you think, when in fact you are drastically underestimating the work load.

i also think that this just micharacterizes the role of women's work in livelihoods? cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the children are all sisyphean tasks that have to be repeated the next day. these are important, but not the whole picture. when we include all kinds of fiberwork—and other things, such as making candles or soap—women's work looks much more like manufacturing, a sphere we now associate more with men's work. i feel like women's connection to making and craftsmanship is often elided.

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Not to go "if you have ADHD just go for a run" or anything, but I am so serious if you have ADHD you should regularly go outside, no headphones no phone no nothing and just stand and observe for a while until you've had enough. Not until you get bored, until you've had enough. Drink your coffee without watching tiktok. Have a bath without music. Turn down the volume in your headphones. I cannot overstate how much learning to be bored is cruicial with ADHD. Life is not just about pleasure, no matter what your dysregulated dopamine system thinks, and when you teach your brain to be okay with being bored, then boring tasks stop feeling like torture. By letting yourself be bored you are yoinking your system out of the high/low binary and allow for the highs to feel like actual highs and not just anything that isn't low. I am so serious go literally touch grass. Listen to the sounds in your flat. Stimulate your body the way it was designed. It lowers anxiety and makes you feel like you're real and best of all it's completely free

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Who is SHE?

→ journal out who you want to be in 2025:

1. What does she look like? (Physical appearance, style)

2. How does she dress on a typical day?

3. What does she like ?

4. What doesn't she like?

5. What is her behavior like in different situations?

6. (Social interactions, demeanor)

7. How does she prefer to be treated by others? (Expectations from relationships)

8. How does she treat people around her? (Interpersonal relationships, kindness)

9. What does her daily routine entail? (Activities, schedule)

10. At what time does she usually go to bed? (Sleeping habits)

11. When does she wake up in the morning? (Morning routine)

12. What are her hobbies and interests? (Leisure activities)

13. What is her profession or occupation? (Career, job responsibilities)

14. What are her long-term goals and aspirations? (Career ambitions, personal achievements)

15. How does she handle stress or challenges? (Coping mechanisms, problem-solving approach)

16. What type of books does she enjoy? (Cultural preferences)

17. How does she maintain her physical and mental well-being? (Health and self-care routines)

18. Does she have any specific dietary preferences or restrictions? (Food choices)

19. Who are her closest friends, and what are her relationships like with them?(Friendship dynamics)

20. How does she navigate conflicts or disagreements? (Communication style, conflict resolution)

21. What values and principles guide her decision-making? (Personal ethics)

22. How does she spend her leisure time on weekends? (Weekend activities, relaxation methods)