#i am trying to be careful not to give myself much more work than i already have

[balkanradfem]

Okay so I know I just hit you all with the controversial chestnut poll, but I have some new development in life that I want to complain about, and in order for me to complain about it, I need to give you the context.

I don't particularly want to give you the context. You're going to diagnose me with female socialization, and some of you will feel the urge to click the anonymous ask button and tell me off. Today I need you to fight that urge! I am feeling insecure, I am feeling lost, I'm not certain in my choices, I've acted without thinking, and got myself into a situation I can't control. So please don't be mean to me. I deserve to complain on the internet and not be called out, alright?

So this is the story of how I accidentally became a live-in caretaker for an injured, elderly woman. It's temporary! She'll get better, hopefully.

I worked for her occasionally, and she's always been kind to me. She would give me a little jar of jam sometimes, and I love little jars of jam, it's a way to win my heart. A few days ago, she called me in a panic, telling me she fell, and she needs my help. I came over, and found out she broke her arm in two places, and one of her rib is broken. She fell unconscious, after being dizzy all day, and fell on a big metal lantern, breaking it. She was now in so much pain she couldn't get up by herself, dress herself, or do any kind of household tasks. She went to the ER, got her arm wrapped up, and was trying to get a pain injection. I helped her get trough the day, and promised to come early next morning, to help her up from the bed.

Next day I found her in tears in her bed, unable to get up, desperate to go to the bathroom. It became clear she needed 24/7 assistance, and she asked me if I would move in until she got better. I said yes without thinking, because I was at this point, severely concerned, and wanted to do anything to help her out.

So this is all not so bad, right, I'm being normal, it's normal to offer help to an injured elderly woman who is nice, but there's a catch. She doesn't live alone. She lives with her older husband. Who is also disabled and can't help her at all. So in order to help her out.. I had to move into a place where a male lives. That is the worst part of this.

I'm still in the first few days of living like this, and my own life had to fall to the background. I can't go foraging for chestnuts every day, I can't go to my garden as much, I'm still going to work, just from her place. I'm overwhelmed and struggling to get used to the new situation. I'm not used to being around people at all, and now I'm forced to socialize almost all day. Caring for someone comes fairly natural! I'm already so in sync with her, she can just look in the certain direction and I know what she wants me to do. I've figured out where everything is in her kitchen, closet, and basement. She's pleased that I know how to do basic household tasks, and am willing to do it in her way. And she's nice, she's telling me things like 'thank you' and 'what would I do without you', which feels good. But I am very exhausted and sleep deprived, she wakes me up at 1am, and then 5am again, and I'm unable to fall back asleep in a room I lack familiarity with. I miss my room.

She and her husband said they were going to pay me, and in my natural ways, I said something like 'no you don't need to' which I feel like everyone will get mad at me for, but they did insist they would pay me anyway. I as usual lack the sense to care about money – someone's arm is broken, that's way more serious issue to me!

Alright so now to the part of the post I wanted to write, a fun poll where you guess, what has her awful husband done by this point :) go ahead and guess!

You have one day to guess! Which one of these scenarios happened in the first few days of his wife breaking three bones in her body. I'll tell you the correct option tomorrow!

[jellyfishdoodler]

I haven't updated my Marvin design since 2019- it was time lol

Ramblings under cut

I really wanted to mess around and experiment a little with the various vibes I headcanon for Marvin (yes all at the once and no it's not at all frustrating for myself /hj /s)

First one is more just an updated version of my original design for him. Gave him a vest, some more jewelry and a space-y gradient for the cape to help it pop off the darker colors on top. Classic magic man doing on-stage or street magic for audiences of all ages!

Second design is more out there lmao. I wanted to try mixing the idea of a stage magician and their assistant in a fused drag look. I could work on this design more in the future, but my favorite take aways from it is the mask and drawing all the glitter. More of a night performer with this outfit for more adult audiences- think like Old Hollywood vibes as the aesthetic for the magic act.

Third design- I'll be honest, I love seeing Marvin in skirts and dresses and I personally love patchwork stuff. So I stuck this bitch in comfy clothes as a treat!! At home I imagine he works on more typically thought of as fantasy-type magic rather than stage magic. Herbs and crystals and studying from big tomes to practice protection spells.

And the last one- as on the tin. Marvin is the vodka aunt fairy god parent to Chase's daughter and will occasionally pick her up from school like, "Get in loser, we're going shopping." He love that child so much and would kill several men for her, but he'll be damned if Chase and Stacy die and he ACTUALLY has to take care of her outside of weekend babysitting. He would do it, but would rather just remain the cool aunt to pop in and gives esoteric life advice while sipping on a good vintage at 9 AM.

[cuteniarose]

The consequences of my poor financial decisions are here!!

[skitskatdacat63]

I have to write a relatively long German paper, and man its just so difficult for me. The pro side is that I can pick any topic I want, so of course I picked Charles VI. But I've literally not written any German in months, and I'm almost 100% sure our prof doesn't actually read them. I should just write and submit boy king fic....

[magentagalaxies]

vent incoming:

got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!

[emry-stars-art]

could we, mayhaps, pay extra to get more chibi stickers? 👉🏻👈🏻

I have been trying to figure out a way for the star tier to be able to buy old/other designs for a while now, since patreon shop only supports digital items (which I might see how bad it would be to bypass and sell physical items, except it doesn't look like I can keep the shop items exclusive to members 😭)

Thats not to say this can't happen! Because I wouldn't mind offering more if I can find a way to keep everything organized/streamlined enough that it's not overwhelming, especially now that we've reached holiday times yk. But I'll continue looking into it, and I'll let y'all know if I find something that works 🫡

[stargazerdaisy]

Imagine a world where people actually fucking listened to me.

[izzy-b-hands]

Putting on last year's trans rigs stream from Drawfee before i have to get ready to go out with my mum and her bf today (bc i have the worst feeling in my gut he's gonna make that An Thing for me if given the chance today, aka whenever i eventually need the restroom while we're at Mystic)

[lepidopterium]

-

[pepprs]

not to be a pain-crazed wild animal. i KNOW i do this every time. but p*riods are so fucking crazy. like my cr*mps are so bad my body is trying to strangle itself but im awake and i need to be at work in 2 hrs and get thru an entire 9 hr workday as if im not in excruciating pain and im gonna bring my heating pad and my p*in r*lief cr*am if you catch my drift (💀) and i’ll need to use them DURING a busy day in which i will not see any other ppl who get periods in person and using them is gonna be a whole awkward thing. like omg. this is not fucking normal lol

[bitegore]

everyone in my household owes my friends and my ex girlfriend so fucking much.

[seokshinedk]

Trying to remember that I am still only starting out my career as a new clinician, & that everyone needs to start somewhere🫠🫠

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[apollo-zero-one]

Listening to stories of people who survived situations like being trapped in collapsed buildings and it kinda sounds like the human response to being trapped in a bad situation is to just keep going back to sleep until death comes. Thinking about depressive avoidant sleeping. Brain doesn't know you aren't trapped under rubble it can't see out of his bone prison brain just knows everything is bad and everything hurts and we can't handle this stress we need to divert all power to life support, night night.

[thegreatestheaver]

uhghghfh I need to cut off someone in my life so bad but I just don’t know how to do it

[skeleton-monarch]

hm. that realization always fucks me up. forgot about this part. i feel sick