#I hate myself I hate the decisions I made that got me here
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Listening to stories of people who survived situations like being trapped in collapsed buildings and it kinda sounds like the human response to being trapped in a bad situation is to just keep going back to sleep until death comes. Thinking about depressive avoidant sleeping. Brain doesn't know you aren't trapped under rubble it can't see out of his bone prison brain just knows everything is bad and everything hurts and we can't handle this stress we need to divert all power to life support, night night.
#is that a horrible comparison to make? yeah probably in poor taste given the state of things#do I earnestly believe I am in as traumatic a situation as that? I think my brain is reacting the same way yeah. genuinely.#I think my brain has been in survial mode or death incoming mode for like. since middle school#I think I hit puberty and my brain decided we are dying slowly and painfully and has been reacting accordingly.#I think this year it got much worse tho I think this is when I hit the critical level because this is when I have been sleeping more#I hate that house and my roommates so much that I just sleep whenever I'm there. i don't eat much at home#I try not to drink much so that i don't have to use the bathroom as much and that also minimizes my kitchen trips.... I collect 2 litres of#water each morning. one for me one for my cat. his fountain stays full and I ration my water for myself and on the 4 nights a week I work#I will refill it at work. I am mostly trying to be unseen unheard in that house. Of course the dogs always hear me which is why I am so#careful. I only pass through that house twice a day: once in the morning and once in the evening. Coming and going.#on my days off that means only 2 bathroom trips per 24 hours but you know fucking what I still get bitten by a dog every time.#and wish I had just pissed in a bottle or something because they are jumping on me they are biting me there are tears in my eyes I am biting#my tongue because if I shout or tell them to stop their owner comes and yells at them. And they don't give a shit about being yelled at!!#but me??? Bleeding and anxious and trying not to piss myself?? I don't handle being yelled at well!! even if it isn't directed at me!!#I have RSD!! I used to cry in school when a teacher was chewing out SOMEONE ELSE !! and being SHOUTED genuinely at????#i am not coping well!! i do not feel safe in this house!!! between the actually getting bitten and the yelling!!!#and the yelling is nonstop because these women have issues with each other. bro I'm so fucking glad my dad moved out when he started having#Marital Issues bcos I think I'd have like 85% more childhood trauma if I had to listen to them fighting like this as a kid#shit I'm getting adulthood trauma from these women fighting. oh my god. angie dump your girlfriend for christ sake#and sTOP MOTHERING ME. I MOVED HERE TO GET AWAY FROM MY MOM AND THIS WOMAN IS WORSE THAN MY MOTHER ABOUT THE FUCKING MOTHERING.#Stop telling me what to wear!! Stop telling me what to eat!! Stop asking if I'm seeing anyone!!#this is my own fault I put myself in this situation and I am trying to claw my way back out but it isn't as easy as it was to get in ;-;#I hate myself I hate the decisions I made that got me here
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I am so beyond ready to quit this job. Wednesday cannot come fast enough.
#to be fair it's bc school starts again in a few weeks#but idk. every day at this office feels like sandpaper on my skin. people always ask me shit i dont understand#and every case is so individual there's no set checklist to follow to troubleshoot#so most of the time I just grind my gears and get stuck#it'd busy more days than not.#and it was advertised to me as data entry only. client interactions was not what i signed up for.#it's all client interaction.#we're short staffed so nobody gets to take the back office and have a break.#when we weren't short staffed i was the new guy and only got 1 day in the back a week while everyone else got 2.#all my coworkers are conservative but talk like they're apolitical.#i thought it'd be fulfilling bc im helping people get benefits#but many are rude or impatient as any other service job. I'm constantly trying to direct people that don't want to listen#or explain the intricacies of something i barely understand.#and i don't want to lead people astray bc you have to start over if you blow a deadline.#but there's just nothing redeeming that i enjoy.#i hate customer service. i hate constantly asking questions. i like seldom few of my coworkers.#i can't be me at work.#and i don't care about the work itself anymore.#this job made me cry every day for weeks last month from sheer stress and overstimulation.#i almost cried myself sick several times.#the only reason I'm not there anymore is bc i dont fucking care anymore.#it took me 2 months to burn out. 2 months!#i was training for half of that!!#idk. everyone decided i was smart and could pick it up quickly so. even though everyone else got 4-6 weeks of shadowing#you can make do with 3 before you start doing stuff solo.#which feels unfair. i wasn't ready for it. and i resent the decision quite a bit.#plus it's been a nightmare for me in terms of external stressors and my generally deteriorating mental health. so.#all in all. i hate it here.#and i can't wait to turn in my notice so i can gtfo in 2 weeks#i am so tired. free me. let me go back to my music please
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Randomly remembered when I was a kid still the with Jehovah's Witnesses and I proudly told my bible study teacher about all the new words I'd learned in school, including the word "prediction". She proceeded to scold me for using it, and commanded I never use that word again because predictions were tied to/synonymous to magic and witchcraft which Jehovah hates. And using words like that could wreck my chances of getting baptized. Like I cared.
#god I HATED that woman#Im so glad I'll never fucking see her again#stupid ancient old bat#get fucked miss Jackie#there were so many other things she did and said#like she hated animals. HATED them#made other witnesses lock up their pets when we'd go to their houses for group bible study. and made me lock my cats up too#when she came over to study with me#she also believed animals don't have souls and that they don't play. all they do is based on instinct#and that lesson made ke make a fool of myself in school once#when my englush teacher showed the class a vid of a crow rolling down a snowy roof repeatedly and asked if what he was doing was playing#and I was the first to answer and parroted what my bible study teacher told me#and got laughed at by the class and aggressively corrected by the teacher for it#the shit you teach kids matters#and this old hag was sitting here feeding me false information#and that incident was SUCH a big blow to my confidence and pride. because I've always considered myself so knowledgeable about animals#to fuck up a basic fact like that felt cripping to me. it snowballed into affecting my decision on my future career path#I wanted to be a zoologist but dropped that dream because if I couldn't get such a sinple obvious fact right how could I#ever be an animal scientist?#anyways those are just a few examples of her evil#she was also super snobby and judgemental of everyone. especially me and the way I talked or dressed#I wish her only the worse in life because she is such a vile and pathetic human being with nothing but hate in her heart#idk why I started thinking about this btw sometimes it just comes back to me#sam's rants about life
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Love the feeling of "I need a distraction now before these thoughts consume me but also I refuse to distract myself because the thoughts are loud af"
#sorryyy i hate semi venting on here but im losing my mind#don't trust your thoughts after 9pm dont trust them after 9pm DONT TRUST THEM A-#<- chanting this in my head rn with the force#this is about that big decision i was vaguing about a while ago#i went through with it and im proud i did and im gonna stick with it#but also i havent like... heard anything shall we say#and it's driving me up the walls#its been awful for the past three days 😭 nearly made myself sick with worry like fuck all this#today was better because i got my hair cut and that always helps#but like damn.#i need to distract myself with something fr 😭#love my brain mode of turn off all functions when distraction is needed. because why not.#is that the adhd wait mode thing? maybe#i need to get checked fr#im fine really. totally. just need to yell
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#kinda fucked up that 2020 feels like it was just yesterday#and i was like 'damn i guess i havent really felt like a person since then'#but i know that's not true because i didn't feel like a person before that either#I've been in a slow downward spiral since getting covid last year and remembering that the whole time i was in school#i was just doing it because thats what i was told i should do#i dont feel like I've made a single impactful decision ever in my own fucking life#i talked about it with my therapist last year but i cant responsibly afford to go back to her anyways#and its not like ive made any real progress on anything#i probably haven't seen a doctor since i was in high school#i dont know what i want to be called#i dont know what i want to even DO with myself#because I've just been doing whatever my mom says to for so fucking long#i shouldn't have gone to college until i had something i actually wanted to do#and now i have stupid ass loans and for what?#not a fucking degree!#i dropped out four years ago and havent done a goddamn useful thing since!#i feel stupid and useless and directionless#i miss my friends#i wish there was something i was at all good at but i cant even get rid of things i dont want because i dont even know what that means#because if we're looking at it objectively i dont want *any* of the things i have right now#i hate my clothes i hate my room i dont use any of my art tools anymore and even my physical body is rejecting me#i can't even SLEEP right#fucking hell#delete later#my birthday is in a week and im lowkey wondering if it would have been better if my mom never had me lmfao#I've done nothing I've said i was going to do so whats even the point#I've got a cat I've gotta look after for a few days in november so obviously we're gonna keep cruisin but GOD i dont wanna be here#my issues arent even that bad in the grand scheme of things but because theyre happening to me it feels so much more intense because well#my life is the lens in which i experience the world lmfao#ive pretended like everythings fine for all my life but these cracks just keep getting bigger and im really not enjoying that at all!
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i need help with vet bills (again).
hi. for those of you who remember, earlier this year i asked for donations to help me afford toos' vet bills, who we found out through your help had kidney failure, and again with your help we got her on medication for it. unfortunately it wasn't enough, and we lost her. and then shortly after, dexter began deteriorating, which we put down to his grief of losing toos - she kept him young, he followed her everywhere, he only played because of her, he only ate when she ate, etc. without her he just stopped. and then he started to have seizures and fits daily. we got him blood tests, but he was suffering so badly. we made the decision to put him down. i didn't ask for donations this time, because i was so deeply embarrassed to ask for help again. but we are still recovering financially from that, as well as the parts of toos bills that didn't get covered from donations. my mother hasn't worked for a very long time, she's disabled and very sick, and she receives PIP from the government that only covers her monthly medications that are not covered by the NHS. my father retired early to become her full time carer, and we are living off his pension. i am too disabled to work, but because my mother already receives PIP and i live with them, the government are resistent to giving me any help - so i have zero income, and rely entirely on my parents.
this is jenny. she's a 14 year old cairn terrier, who loves when we garden because she wants to help dig holes. she helped us bury dexter and toos, digging their graves for them with my dads help. she's an angel, and loves people so much she likes to escape under the fence and join other families for awhile. one time she got into someones back garden and asked to come in as they were eating lunch. she really hates flies, and will try to bite them out of the air (she has never succeeded but i believe she will one day). she will rub her face against you until you start stroking her, and will growl and even bark if you stop! we don't have the money to take jenny to the vets, for a checkup or for anything they may want to do. this has been an ongoing issue, but toos and dexter took priority, and it hasn't been a bother to her. she existed as normal for a long time, but that's since changed.
jenny has this lump in her mouth, it is larger than the picture shows, but she is a nightmare to force open her mouth since this got so big, i think it's uncomfortable or painful for her. she can't properly close her lips now, and it has pushed all her front teeth away, misshaping her mouth, and sometimes it bleeds profusely. eating has become difficult for her, she can't eat anything hard, and currently will only eat soft human foods like rice, scrambled egg chopped up so small she doesn't have to chew, and things like soups and gravy. she's lost a lot of weight, and i'm getting frightened. to add onto it, i've found lumps like this across her body. i've done as much research as i can, and i believe it to be an oral tumor, it fits, and it looks right, and it spreading across her body is called 'full staging'. and going by all i've read - they will want to remove them in surgery. according to my research, this will cost anywhere from £585 - £4,740 for just the lump in her mouth. that's not including any checkup/test costs, or the other lumps on her body.
she hasn't been to the vet yet, i don't have any secure goal or bills to share, just my assumptions and beliefs from researching myself online. my parents refuse to take her because we can't afford it. i want to save up money, have it in my bank, and show them that we can help her now, before it gets worse, or it's too late. as i said before, i don't have any income, so the only way i can do this is with help.
here's a link to my paypal.me
the icon is a little mouse, and the @ is rivellon
i struggled so badly posting the first post like this for toos. i felt so guilty and embarrassed and ashamed. but i have no choice again, i want to help jenny. i don't want her to suffer. and selfishly, i can't handle losing another dog so soon. this year has been waking nightmare, and i need your help to stop it getting even worse.
please reblog and share, even if you can't donate.
thank you for reading.
#animal illness#animal sickness#pet illness#pet sickness#vet bills#vet help#i don't really know what to tag this as. i don't remember what i did before#and i don't want to go look for my toos post because it will hurt so bad to see it i think#im on hiatus because i cant deal with this and be here right now. but im gonna queue/schedule this a bit i think#im sorry for asking for help again. but please consider helping jenny. she's so lovely#and she's keeping me alive right now#losing toos and dexter ripped me to shreds and shes the only reason i havent completely broken down#i am absolutely terrified of what will happen if we lose her too#god i feel so fucking guilty. i can't stop fucking crying. i hate this so much#im so sorry guys. please reblog and consider donating even a tiny amount#tiny amounts add up yknow#anyway . i should post this now instead of hiding in the tags
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WHB Series #1 (Cont.)
Gabriel: I see that you're alone.
MC: ...
MC: Congrats. You have eyes.
Gabriel: *immediately shows displeasure*
MC: Chill. You've just arrived.
Gabriel: A foolish human pretending to be god. I don't know how you managed to convince Raphael, but that's not important right now.
Gabriel: I will punish you myself.
MC: Would that be a wise decision? Let me remind you.
MC: I had you incapacitated for months. And I will do that again.
Gabriel: ...
Gabriel: *smiles* You didn’t think I came here alone, did you?
*Other angels showed up.*
Gabriel: You made a grave mistake of sending those devils away.
MC: Maybe? Maybe not.
MC: I just don't like getting bothered.
Gabriel: *has sensed something is wrong*
MC: *smirks*
MC: I was expecting you, Gabriel.
Gabriel: *magic circles started to appear around him*
MC: These angels are under your control. So let me borrow your authority for a moment.
MC: ...
MC: Die.
*The angels, in an act of self-destruction, snapped their own necks, resulting in everyone falling from the sky.*
Gabriel: How dare you...
MC: *nods in satisfaction* Not bad.
MC: I should thank Gusion for helping me with the calculations.
Gabriel: *tries to break free*
MC: Give up. It'll be useless.
Gabriel: AAHHH!
MC: *rolls their eyes*
MC: You're telling me you can't lock up this guy?
Belphegor: We were not expecting you'd catch him.
MC: Okay. Can't you make him sleep for eternity then?
Belphegor: Too bothersome.
MC: You're fucking useless.
Gabriel: I will kill you in the worst way possible...
MC: Shut the fuck up.
Beleth: ...
Beleth: Descendant of Solomon, won't it be possible to do the same thing to him?
MC: 'That'?
MC: ...
MC: I've already got one psycho. You want me to make them two?
Beleth: Would that be a problem?
MC: You're really trying your luck.
Beleth: *chuckles*
MC: ...
MC: *sigh* Make him drink the blood.
Beleth: *nods then approaches Gabriel*
Gabriel: What are you going to do?!
Beleth: You'll see.
MC: ...
Gabriel: *is on the floor, writhing in pleasure*
MC: ...
MC: Ew.
Beleth: *who is surprised too* Was Raphael like this when he drank your blood?
MC: Nope.
Gabriel: God... You've returned...
MC: ...
MC: I got myself another burden.
Andrealphus: I'll kill him for you.
MC: Calm down. As much as I hate this, I have to take this bastard to Gehenna.
Belphegor: Huh. How are you going to do that?
MC: *frowns*
Beleth: Don't do them like that, Your Majesty.
Karelphus: MC? You're leaving?
MC: Yeah.
Karelphus: I'll go with you!
MC: ...
MC: No. You stay here.
Karelphus: Why? I can be useful too...
MC: I know. But Niflheim needs more "responsible" devils.
MC: If only your king is not a deadbeat.
Belphegor: *chuckles*
Karelphus: ...
Karelphus: Once I become an adult, I'll follow you!
MC: Yeah, yeah. Sure.
Karelphus: *cheers up*
Gabriel: *still moaning in pleasure*
MC and the others: ...
MC: Beleth, you have a stapler?
Barbatos: This time it's Seraph Gabriel?
Foras: *nods* *displeased* And he seemed to enjoy it.
Glasyalabolas: This is bad.
Glasyalabolas: Looks like them being god could be true.
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Reverse Isekai Genshin Shenanigans #2
Characters: Venti, Kaeya, Diluc, Xingqiu, Zhongli
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"Is everything to your liking, Venti?" you asked.
"Oh none of that, [Y/N]," Venti responded with a small smile. "No need to be so formal around me."
The two of you were currently in the living room of your apartment. Since Venti was here, you had planned on showing him some of the stuff around your place. As for how Venti got here in the first place...
It's kind of a long story.
But to make that story short, Venti told you that Albedo and the Traveler had been working on a device that can establish a linked portal between Teyvat and Earth. From what you understand, it's kind of how you are able to access Teyvat on your computer, but this time it's the other way around.
It's honestly surprising how quickly it took them to reach you.
"However," Venti began, raising a finger. "Before you show me any more stuff, do you by chance happen to have any wine around? I am quite curious to see how your world's wine holds up to Mondstadt's."
You shook your head. "Nope. Sorry, I don't drink."
"You don't?!" Venti gasped. "Well that's no fun! Life is so much better when indulging in fabulous wine."
"My liver would say otherwise." you quipped.
Venti, ignoring you, continued. "It's unfortunate, really. And I was just beginning to get my hopes up high," he sighed. "But alas, I guess a bard's stomach will have to go empty for now."
You could tell that he was joking, but you still felt like helping him out. He was your guest, after all.
Luckily, your apartment was in the middle of a shopping complex.
"How about this. There's a wine store nearby. I can walk down and grab you something. Would that be alright?"
Venti's eyes are shining so bright you nearly covered your eyes to stop from going blind.
"Ohoho, really now?" he smirks, before giving a Knight of Favonius salute. "Lead the way then, [Y/N]. I shall be right behind you."
You sighed. "No, Venti. I can't risk you being seen by other people. Just tell me what you want and I'll go get it."
"Not a chance!" he happily exclaimed, skipping towards the door. "A decision of great importance should be trusted with an expert connoisseur such as myself."
He opened the door and gestured you towards the empty hallway. "After you, dear [Y/N]."
...
The God of Freedom has restrictions when it comes to purchasing wine apparently.
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"I must say, [Y/N]. Your place certainly is interesting. It's both familiar and exotic."
You raised a skeptical brow at the calvary captain. "Should I be taking that as a compliment or...?"
In response, Kaeya chuckled. "I simply mean that it's unique. Let's leave it at that."
You slowly nodded. Kaeya was a hard person to read, but you think he meant it as a complement.
...You think.
"However, before we continue, do you have any drinks on hand. I'm getting a bit thirsty."
You nodded politely. "Of course, I'll go get you something right away!"
You quickly walked to the kitchen and opened your fridge. "What would you like? I've got water, milk, juice, soda..."
Kaeya thought for a second. "Do you have any wine?"
...
Goddammit.
You loudly sighed. "First of all, I don't drink. Second of all, Venti made me spend nearly $100 at the wine store, and I didn't even get to keep any of it!"
Kaeya pondered in thought some more. "A wine store...?"
Oh no.
"No..." you warned. "Don't you even think about getting me to spend more money."
Kaeya merely brought a hand to his hip, "But I am a guest, am I not? It is common courtesy for the guest to be treated respectively after all."
...
You hate it when they're right.
You sighed again. "Fine..."
Kaeya softly smiled. "Excellent. I can't wait to see what they have to offer."
Thankfully, Kaeya was nice enough to settle for only one wine bottle.
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"I'm sorry if this isn't to your liking, Master Diluc."
"Please, [Y/N]. Just Diluc is fine. No need for formalities when we're not in Teyvat."
He began to look around at his surroundings.
"Though I am curious as to why you decided to bring me to a restaurant of all places."
"Because you didn't want to go to the wine store." you replied, deadpan. "Which honestly surprises me considering you own the biggest winery in Mondstadt."
Diluc did not look impressed. "I've seen enough wine in my life already, it does not make any difference if I go see anymore."
You shrugged your shoulders. "Suit yourself."
You looked back down at the menu in your hands, reading its contents for something good to order.
"...Is there another reason why you brought me here?"
You looked up at him. "...I mean yeah, there is, but it's nothing important."
Diluc crossed his arms. "Oh? What is it?"
You pointed to the top of his menu. "It's the name of the restaurant."
He looked down towards the menu and read the name. "Firebirds? What of it?"
You tilted your head. "...You don't get it?"
He raised an eyebrow. "Get what?"
"Ah, forget it," you waved a hand. "I just thought it was something funny."
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"Where are we heading, my liege?"
"Somewhere I think you'll really like."
The two of you walked through the front doors and stopped just a few steps afterward. To the naked eye, books upon books laid upon rows and rows of shelves.
As expected of a library.
You looked at Xingqiu and couldn't help but chuckle at the wide-eyed expression he was giving. His mouth also hung open comically.
"Easy now, Xingqiu, don't go drooling all over the floor now." You turned and pointed towards the front desk. "I figure that this place might be too big for you to handle so I trust that any questions you have you'll ask the librari- aaannnnnnnnnd he's gone."
...
You looked away for five seconds and you've already lost the book lover.
Is this how parents feel whenever they lose sight of their kids?
You couldn't help but chuckle as you shook your head. You suppose this was to be expected after all. When Xingqiu sets his sights on a book of choice, there's not much that will drag him away from it.
Knowing that he had no reason to leave the library, you began walking around the building searching for him.
You did find him after a few minutes. He had grabbed a seat on top of a beanbag and was nose deep in a book in his hands. Stacked next to him were a ton of other books that he presumably collected.
However, as you walked closer to him, you could see a troubled expression on his face.
"Is something wrong?" you questioned.
Xingqiu lowered the book from his face. "Sorry, my liege, I seem to be unable to read this. I can't understand any of the words."
...
Ah crap, you forgot about that.
"Do you think you could read this to me?" he asked, handing the book to you.
You nodded. "Sure, I can do that."
Book in hand, you plopped down on another beanbag next to him and started to read. You had no other plans for the day, so you were fine with hanging around the library for a little bit.
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You didn't feel like going out today. It didn't matter who asked, you were exhausted.
"Hmmm..."
Even if that someone was an over 6,000-year old retired Archon.
To be quite frank, you were terrified to be in Zhongli's presence. Sure, this isn't the first Archon you've met in person, but Venti does a superb job at hiding his status. Nobody can take a look at him and think that he's an Archon.
Zhongli on the other hand, has this imposing aura around him. How does Hu Tao not feel threatened by this man?
"So this is where you're able to guide us from?"
You nodded. "Yes sir."
After showing Zhongli around your apartment, he expressed an interest in seeing the device you use to guide them. Not thinking ahead, and because you were terrified of telling an Archon 'no', you agreed.
...Okay, you did try to tell Venti 'no', but that's different!
Now, you were frantically trying to piece together a convincing story about how your guidance is not part of a video game and everything that they've come to know was written, modeled, and designed by a company. Existential crisis are not fun to deal with.
However, Zhongli isn't stupid. There's a high percent chance he'll see through your lies.
...Basically, you're fucked.
You focused back on the computer. The main menu was playing. You sneaked a peak at Zhongli. He appeared to be lost in thought.
"Need me to explain anything?" you asked, hesitantly.
Zhongli nodded. "Please."
You sighed. Here goes nothing.
"So to start things off, there's this company called Hoyoverse. This company is responsible for maintaining a stable connection between here and Teyvat. That's why you saw their name appear on the screen earlier. This down here is the region that the connection is held. If I click on that, I'm able to change to another region. However, I'm gonna keep it on this one since I get the best connection from there."
"Then below that is my User ID. Going back to Hoyoverse for a moment, it's not just one connection they're responsible for. They're able to hold thousands of connections at once."
You saw Zhongli open his mouth so you stopped talking for a moment. "But I've never known anyone other than you guiding us. How can it be that there are multiple connections to the same place?"
You shook your head. "No, it's not multiple connections to one Teyvat. It's multiple connections to different Teyvats. Think of it as parallel universes if you will. Through this connection, I am able to guide people such as you. However, through another connection, someone else is able to guide another Zhongli. Does that make sense?"
You nearly breathed a sigh of relief when he nodded his head. "I see. Please, continue."
"Right. Next, you have these two buttons over here. If I click on the top one, you'll see ways to interact with other connection members as well as the company itself. Also, you have the fair use statement and terms of service. These are just the rules I need to follow while guiding you guys. If I break any of these rules, my access is revoked and the connection gets terminated."
Zhongli looks at the screen for a brief period before turning to you with his arms crossed. "You say these are rules."
You nodded. "Yes sir."
"...They sound more like contracts to me."
...
"I mean..." you scratched the back of your neck. "I wouldn't say contracts, per se. I guess you could call them... agreements?"
Zhongli raised an eyebrow. "So now they're agreements?"
...
Welp. It was a good run while it lasted.
You sighed heavily and lowered your head in shame. "No. You're right. They're contracts."
Zhongli nodded in agreement. "As I thought."
"Sorry." you apologized.
...
"Do you know what is listed in the contracts?"
You looked up at Zhongli. He still bore a curious expression on his face. There wasn't any anger nor frustration hinted anywhere.
"Ummm... Not really."
Zhongli was quick to furrow his eyebrows. Okay, now he's looking a bit mad. "You signed a contract without reading its contents?"
You scooched your chair a tiny bit away from Zhongli to give you some more space. "Well I mean, yeah, but I'm not the only one who does that. Everyone does! Nobody's got the time nor the patience to read all of that legal jargon."
Zhongli's eyebrows furrowed even further. You might be overexaggerating out of fear, but he looks absolutely pissed. Now would be the best time to make a smart life decision.
"Oh please, Rex Lapis," you pleaded, kneeling on the floor with your hands pressed together in prayer. "I beg for forgiveness, O merciful Archon."
"Spare me your theatrics."
You winced. That didn't work out as well as you hoped.
A couple of seconds passed by before Zhongli let out a deep sigh. "I don't know what you were thinking when you decided to blindly sign multiple contracts.
...
"However, I am willing to go through each contract for you and teach you of anything you should be aware of for now and for the foreseeable future."
...
"...Huh...?"
"You mean... I'm not gonna suffer the Wrath of the Rock?"
"The Wrath of the Rock??" Zhongli asks, flabbergasted. "Did you really think I was going to hurt you?"
...
"Yes..." you answered, meekly.
Zhongli's face softened before he placed a hand on your shoulder. "I would never harm you nor let anyone bring harm you, [Y/N]. I'd be a fool to do so after all that you have done for my friends, for Liyue, and for Teyvat."
He gave a soft smile. "I'm just letting you know that you should be more careful while signing any contracts in the future. You never know if you're getting a fair agreement if you never read its contents."
You nodded, smile also on your face. "Yes sir, I'll read every contract from now on, sir."
"Good. Now then, would you kindly read the contents of each contract to me. I'll stop you if I need to mention anything worth noting."
You spent the next couple of hours going over each contract, taking notes on anything Zhongli deemed worth remembering. You guess that showing him the actual game will come at a later time.
---------------------------------------------------------
Author Side Notes: Wow that Zhongli bit took up a lot of this. In all honesty, it could probably be it's own thing separate from all of the other shenanigans.
By the way, I imagine that Zhongli uses reading glasses. I don't know why I think that, but I feel like it suits him for some reason.
#genshin impact#genshin reverse isekai#reverse isekai#reverse isekai genshin#genshin impact sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin self aware#sagau x reader#sagau#sagau genshin#genshin venti#genshin kaeya#genshin diluc#genshin xingqiu#genshin zhongli
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ENTRY #6 ♡ F. READER X GOJO SATORU // I open my eyes, of you I'm aware, I lower my guards, strip myself bare.
contents: arranged marriage!au — wc. 1028
series masterlist
There were many molds Satoru had to morph himself to somehow fit into and more often than not, he was squeezing in just barely — just enough to get people off his back. He had to work with people he didn’t like, negotiate with clans he couldn’t stand and face higher-ups that he felt nothing but hate towards. Gojo was no stranger to taking orders he didn’t agree with — back in time when he wasn’t exactly who he is right now. A stubborn man, above most jurisdiction. A man of independence, someone who won’t bend and break to fulfill instructions that do not fit into his beliefs.
Maybe he was too old now or maybe he defamiliarized himself with the art of adjustment to someone else’s decision, but few months had passed and he still couldn’t get used to you.
Whenever Satoru looked at you, he felt as if he was looking at the sun — despite wearing a blindfold or dark glasses. There was a brightness in your aura, a warmth and yet you were so distant and far from him. You were a puzzle he struggled to solve and he blamed it on himself because not once in his life he had to accustom himself to be a husband.
You’ve got him doubting himself.
You’ve got him scared.
You’ve got his heart beat in ways he never experienced before.
You’ve got him longing.
It was terrifying, as he thought of it, whenever he was watching you from afar, and you were just there. In the same house as him, sleeping just few meters away, allowing yourself to lower your guards and Satoru felt dread filling his veins when he realized he was expected to lower his own too. To strip himself from the protective barrier he put so much effort and time to build. To just be there with you, not just somewhere in the same space.
But he was getting there.
It began with him offering you help — little house chores he took upon himself to make your life easier and at first he made it look as if it annoyed him. Maybe it did annoy him. Snarky comments and lowercase insults dressed in overly sweetened words, pet-names spoken in tone full of venom — all that made the daily routine with you and those verbal tug-of-wars taught him respect towards you. You were strong enough and brave enough to engage in the word-fights with him and in retrospect, those were what helped both you and him adapt to the new reality of being married.
“Can you help me with those bags, Satoru?”
“You’ve got legs, sweetheart, you can do this yourself.”
“Move from the damn couch, Gojo, and make yourself useful.”
“Last name, huh? You spoke it with so much venom, I’d figure you hate it if you it wasn’t yours as well.”
“Come here, darling, and help me with those bags.”
And then, Satoru learned what you wanted his help with. He observed what things you didn’t like doing and began doing them himself. It felt natural. A place he was obliged to move into slowly became a house he was walking towards every day with a strange feeling of warmth in his chest, because it was where he will be able to rest, to decompress. It was a place where he will eat or sleep. It was a place where he’ll see you.
Next thing Gojo worked on was infinity. Or rather, turning it off and he had to actively think of it whenever he was home. Few times you tried to touch him and couldn’t made him feel the sort of shame he never felt before. He was so used to always being protected that when he had to face you, he didn’t realize that he doesn’t need to protect himself from you. So he took it off, baring himself before you and allowing himself to get familiar with the soft, cold pads of your fingers. With the way your breath feels on his skin — hot and intimate — and the way your lips feel on his own.
Then it became unconscious for him to turn off his technique the moment he steps into the house.
Then he was catching himself staring. His eyes lingered on you a little too long, a little too intense and whenever you noticed, he found himself flustered. Hmpf-ing and turning his head away, ignoring the muffled chuckles you always tried to suppress and then, he was smiling too.
Then, he was missing the soft, sweet and floral scent of your perfume whenever he was away for work.
Then, he was replaying the gentle tone of your voice in his mind, finding solace in the memory.
And then—
“Satoru, come to bed.”
—he was caught off guard yet again.
But he moved. A subconscious sequence of muscle contractions and releases, some taken steps and climbed up stairs — all of which led him to a place he had been avoiding for all of the weeks, months, that passed since he vowed himself to you.
“It’s big enough, just–“ your voice was gentle, so very gentle, when you got under the covers first. In the make-shift pajama he recognized as one of his own t-shirts — way too expensive to be a sleeping attire, yet he couldn’t care less. “Just sleep here. You don’t have to sleep on the couch, uncomfortable every night.”
And so he did. Half-bare, as he was used to sleep, he allowed himself to rest next to you. His weight sunk into the soft mattress, his bones straightened up deliciously in the heavenly cocoon of cotton sheets, all scented just slightly with the washing detergents and your perfume. A sigh escaped his mouth, he melted into the luxury of the bed and nuzzled his cheek into one of the pillows.
“Good?”
“Very good,” he admitted, his eyes following the up of your hip and down of your waist, then again up along the curve of your shoulder until he finally looked at your face. Your eyes were already closed, your eyelids covering the beautiful color underneath them and it was a shame he couldn’t see it before he lowered his own. “Goodnight.”
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I had a fantasy that I went to a best friends sleep over and ended up reading her older sister's diary :
Truth or dare
My friend says to me. I look in her eyes and I know I can't choose truth. She'll will come up with the most vile secert to get out of me.
"Dare !" I spit out in fear
"I dare you to sneak in to my sisters room read her diary and report back. " she says with a smirk.
Fuck me I tell her that , she's so childish. And that were on break from college.
"To bad, you pick dare or are you pussy? " she retorts saying the one thing that would convince me to go.
I'm not scared of her sister. She's only a 6'7 grunge base player who is 3 years older. What there to be scared of? It's not like whenever I'm here she rolls her eyes and slams the door. It's not like she refuses to eat dinner with us. Yeah and she wasn't to scary when she yelled at us after sneaking out to a slutty Halloween party. Fuck she hates me and I'm about to sneak into her room.
I decided to just swallow my fear and go for it besides she's not even home she has a gig.
I creep to the basement where her room is. Slowly the fear begins to still as before I enter her room I see the walls covered in electric guitars. Every color and style I could imagine. I stop to admire all the other equipment she has records, picks, amps and even some Cassettes.
I let out a breathe of relief as open the door to her room and she isn't there. Now all I got to find is that damn book.
I first go to her night stand and begin to peer in. I taking a moment to process what I'm looking a, Lacy lingerie. Upon realizing its contents I quickly shut the drawer. Embarrassed I move on desperate to get this night over with. I look at the bottom drawer and am left starring. Toys so many toys in different shapes and sizes. But what left me shocked wasn't just the various toys. I mean were both adults.
It was the was the paddle. Wooden and bigger that my hand I wondered why she would have something like this. With stupid curiousity I lift it up to examine it. The paddle was in perfect condition, like it had never been used. The thing has hearts cut into it and says in big black bold letters "Scream". I begin to put it back but as I do to other items that it was hiding catch my eye. A pair of metal hand cuffs and a strap harness. I can't help but imagine who she's been using these on. At that thought I quickly put the items back in and close drawer.
If she doesn't hate me, she'll definitely hate me now. I went through her stuff and I hadn't even found the book. I sigh before moving over to the other night stand and open the drawer. This time though jackpot the book was sitting in plain sight. As I pick up the black leather book I curse myself for not looking through this one first.
For a second I hesitate, this is total over step of her boundaries. Besides I could just go back and lie that I read it. I decided that a good idea but as I'm about to put the book back I think about how I could figure out why she hates me. I ponder for a moment but I got to know what I did. I open the book.
It turns out the book is less of a diary and more of a shadow journal. I begin to flip until I find a page about me. The prompt reads " What is your toxic or most obsessive desire? "
Slowly I take in what she writes. "If I had a second alone with my sisters best friend I think I'd devour her. " my eyes stretch wide as I keep reading. "The things I want to do to her body are just ... I want to see her begging and crying under me. I want to punish her for being so damn tempting with those little skirts and short shorts."
I bite my lip but flip through more pages until I see something that mentions me. The prompt "What is a bad financial decisions you've made recently? " I can't help but lean closer while reading. " I was checking in on one of the local sex shops I frequent when I saw a cute little paddle. I couldn't help myself not when I imagine her below me pleading. I imagined pulling her hair and telling her to shut up and asking if she was a good girl. She said "yes daddy" and fuck did that just scratch the right itch in my brain. I told her then she needs to take her punishment like a good girl. Before laying down on her ass while she screamed and cried. Of course I gave my pretty girl kisses after I bit her ass. I have to remind her who she belongs to. And now I want to buy her a collar. "
I'm horrified by what I just read but I couldn't put the book down. I continued on. "What is the most fucked up fantasy you've had recently? " "I imagine her coming to my house and asking for my sister like always but this time I walk her to my sisters room even though she's not home. I lock the door behind her and get really close while she backs up. She looks so cute and she's wearing that tight purple dress she wears. I grab her and begin to kiss her while she pushes me away. I bite her lip and she crys into my mouth while I shove my tongue down her throat. She fights me as I throws her on the bed. But I'm stronger and able to hold her down. She begins to cry as I rip off that stupid fucking dress and kiss down her neck to her perfect tits.
I then slide my hand down to her pretty panties and rub her clit through the lace. She makes a noise and trys to squirm away which cause me to hit her. I tell her to be a good girl and this will all be over soon. She fucking whimpers but stops struggling. I continue to play with her cute clit till she soaks her panties. I whisper "see you want this." Before ripping her panties off of her. And sink a finger in. She's so fucking wet. I slide another finger in and then another. Till I'm three fingers deep. She makes the most beautiful noises while I take her apart on my hand. The more I take her the more wet and docile she becomes. I fuck her like this until she's dripping down her leg and begging me to stop. She pleads so cutely I can't help it. I pull down my pants revealing my biggest strap. Pushing it in while she just lies their limp like a perfect toy. I slam in and out of her taking both her virginities on her best friends bed. By the time I cum she's quivering and her cunt is unrecognizable. I take a picture and drag her to my room leaving her juices on my sisters bed. So the most fucked up fantasy I've ever had is raping my sister's best friend on her bed for hours and its reoccurring. I'd never do it of course I want her to enjoy and consent to it I'm not a monster it's just a fun fantasy. "
I begin to rub my legs together at that last one. I put the book back having had my fill when I see her sister standing right there in the door way causing me to scream.
She looks pissed and close the door and locks it behind her.
"How much did you read? "
"Nothing" I shout frozen to where I stand.
"Bullshit" she says stalking closer
"Just the crush thing and it's okay!" I say as she gets even closer.
"Lier"
"Okay I read the thing about the paddle but that's it!" I wince
She grabs my shoulders and looks at me. A chill run down my back. I flinch.
Squeaking out a "Please, don't!"
She sighs and let's go of me before sitting on the bed.
"You read the fantasy? "
I nodded slowly.
"The rape one. "
I nodded again
She sighs "Fuck, this is not how I wanted you find out! Actually I was hoping you'd never find out! "
She puts her hands on her head.
"Sit down, I'm not going to actually do any of that to you. "
I sit beside her. While she remains still before taking a deep breath in.
"So you read it, why? "
I meekly say "A dare"
"Fuck! It was my sister wasn't it? I'll kill her. "
I stay quite she knows the answer.
She sighs "So what do you want to ask me? And then I'm gonna ask you some questions, okay.
I nod.
" How long?" I ask
She breathes "Since your freshman year, of course I wasn't going to act on it. It's just, I thought I thought of you like another little sister and then I started watching out for you. Which turned into watching you and before I knew it I couldn't look away. "
"Is that why your we're mad at us on Halloween that one year ? "
"Are you kidding me? You were basically wearing lingerie. I mean a skimpy pink bunny suit, I know you were a senior but still what if someone tried something? And on top of all that you guys snuck out! You know I had to hide that from mom and dad so you could stick around. "
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be, you looked... amazing. Look I don't just like you because of your body, I mean don't get me wrong it's a plus but I also love your laugh. How your the first one to try to help. Even when my sister started doing her project last minute you where there to help. I love the way you melt around animals and your stupid dance. I like you okay. Not just what you have to offer." She says while looking up at me and holding my check.
We're so close. I lean in to close the gap but she pulls away.
"Don't do that, don't give me a pitty kiss! "
I lean forward "I'm not, I just want to try this. "
Our lips finally connect and its like electricity I feel it from my head to the tips of my toes. I shiver we break apart to breathe then begin again. It feels amazing, but not close enough. I crawl closer until I'm sitting on her lap and kiss her while wrapping my arms around her neck. The kiss begins to get more and more dangerous as we go on. Her hand begin to wonder and grip. While I rock into her lap. Soon she breaks the kiss.
"Hey, I don't know if I'm getting mix signals but can I touch you? " she says with her pretty eyes.
I pause for a minute then get a sly idea "Yes, daddy! " I whisper into her ear.
"Fuck " she says before pressing me down to where my back touches her bed. "Who knew you'd be such a damn brat. " she says while kiss down on my neck
I whine as she bites my shoulder. "What's the matter ? You've never been touched like this? "
She lowers her hand down my skirt and begins to rub while I stutter "No, then again no ones touched me. "
She pause "What?"
"You guessed right. "
"Are you sure you want to do this because we don't have to. I can... " I quiet her
"I'm sure , I trust you. In fact I want you to do to me what you wrote about in your little book. Y'know the thing with the paddle. "
"Are you sure that's a little advanced. "
"I'm sure, do you not want to? "
"No I want to, fuck I want to" she says while reaching into the night stand.
"Good, how do you want me, daddy? "
"Fuck your going to be the death of me. Across my lap baby. "
I lay across her lap. And give a wiggle.
"Let's see, how many spanks? Maybe 4 spanks for your 4 years of teasing. Plus 3 for the 3 pages you read. Plus 5 for that slutty fucking costume that had me salivating for weeks. So 12.“
I whine
"Don't whine or I'll make it 15."
I stop.
" That's a good girl. " she says while ruffling my hair.
"Now we're going to use the stop light system, along with a safeword. Do you know how the stop light systems work and have a safeword in mind?"
"Yeah my safeword is rock. And the stop light systems works like red means stop, yellow slow down or change what your doing and green means keep going. "
"Correct, now I'm not going to be upset or disappointed if you safeword or want to stop okay. "
"Okay."
"Good now, count. "
The first hit stings
"One"
The second one burns
"Two"
The third positively aches
"Three"
The rest hurt but for some reason it leaves me feeling dizzy and so good.
"Twelve"
"Good girl are you, okay? "
"Yes."
"Okay how are you, are you okay to continue? "
I nod
"No girl I need a verbal answer what's your color? "
"Green, don't stop I want you to fuck me"
"Fuck, okay baby. " she says before digging in her drawer and strapping into her strap.
I flip around and spread my legs out and put my arms up.
"Wait babygirl, I have to make sure your prepped. " she says as she dips a cloused finger in while I whine
"Fuck baby your soaked. Did my girl like spankings that much? "
I nod
"Poor girls all layed out like a pretty little toy. "
I begin to moan as she adds another finger and begins pumping them in and out with her thumb on my clit. Then she goes fast and pumps in and out harder.
"I know baby it's so much, my fingers are so much for you. " she says while working me harder and harder until fuck... She stops.
"Not yet sweet heart, your gonna cum undone on my cock pretty girl. " she says as she pushes in slowly so slowly.
After bottoming out she waits a minute and I nod. After I nod she thrusts shallow slow thrusts. That feel amazing but leaves me wanting.
After a few minutes of that I grab her shoulders "Daddy, harder!"
"Fuck." She says while rolling her hips.
She lifts my legs up higher to my confusion before slamming in hard. The thrust again and again while I just take it letting her use my body.
"There you go baby. Sorry daddy though you wanted to fucked like a princess. I forgot how much of a slut you are. " she says while still pounding into me
And then she begins to rub my clit. It's so fuck much. Fuck I begin to cry and whine.
"That's it babygirl, cry on daddy's fucking dick" she begins rubbing my clit harder causing me to scream.
"Daddy, I don't want to get pregnant yet. " I say through dazzy tears
"Aww " she says while rubbing and thrust like she was trying to milk more nosies out of me "Don't worry baby you'll look so nice with my kids. "
I feel my body shake and arch and then everything thing goes limp. And my vision goes white. I hear a soft buzzing and for that moment I have no fucking idea what my name is.
"Comeback to me baby" she says my head barley follows her eyes
"Was it good? "
I nod
"Good." She says as she pulls out while I hiss. "It's okay. "
She then lays down beside me and holds me while I begin to come back down.
"You back? "
"Yeah" I say voice horsed
"Okay we'll put cream on you and clean you up later. Okay. "
I nod and cuddle closer
"Okay and baby you can not tell my sister yet. "
#wlw nsft#wlw ns/fw#sapphic ns/fw#lesbian ns/fw#lesbian smut#sapphic nsft#lesbian nsft#wlw noncon#wlw blog#cnc wlw#wlw breeding#wlw scenario
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"Darlin'."
content: fpreg, vaguely-mentioned pregnancy sex, labor, fpreg birth, 1st person pov a hint of cowboy flavoring, a la croix of the wild west
wc: 2800+
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“Sloan!”
A voice called out my name behind me, and I released a sigh as they continued to yell, even as they came closer, “c’mon, woman, just be honest with me!”
My feet paused their stomping, and I turned in the direction I knew him to be coming from.
“There’s nothing to be honest about!” I shouted back, an annoyed huff leaving me as I crossed my arms over my chest. The action made my nipples sting at the friction and I angrily dropped my arms down. I gave Sterling a glare as he came into view, which he calmly raised his hands up in surrender in response.
“Fuck, nothing to be honest about?” Sterling muttered, his dark brows raised incredulously. “Are you serious?”
Shaking my head, I felt tears pool in my eyes at his raised voice, I hated when he spoke down to me. His fucking accent made him sound even more condescending, which only served to infuriate me more. I grumbled unhappily, angry at myself for the tears and for him being annoying, “just leave me alone! You’ve been badgering me for the last five miles, Sterling, it’s getting old.”
He gave me a hard stare, slowly lowering his arms as his eyes flicked over my face - catching my tears. Sterling sighed and beckoned me closer to him.
“C’mere darling,” his voice was softer now, more like his normal tone with me, it made me choke on a sob, “I know. That’s it, I know about…”
He trailed off and I tensed, my own eyes flicking over his form as I felt my chest heave with a gasp, trying to catch the breath that just left me. My suspicions confirmed with his own speculation. I had to be pregnant, there was no explaining my recent changes other than pregnancy.
Sterling continued, coming closer to me and finally slipping an arm around my waist, “the baby, Sloan. It’s not exactly something we can ignore…and you know that.”
I did. Doing our job while I'm pregnant would not be safe, for me or for our little one. More tears fell over my cheeks as I buried my head against his broad chest, crying softly. I didn’t want my life to change but I knew what I had to do.
He was supportive, as we traveled back home and we made the decision for me to remain on our homestead. His support never waned even when I got angry and sobbed for hours about him having to leave me like this. We would need to continue our work, regardless of my pregnancy, and bounty hunting wasn’t exactly safe for me now.
Once we returned to our homestead, Sterling took our horses to our barn, telling me to go inside, and tend to the house. The bed needed dressing and the fire started. I bit my tongue to keep a retort about sending me inside like a housewife, my eyes rolling nearly out of my head as I stomped towards our small home. He joined me once I finished the bed and began my work on the fire. His quiet footsteps came up behind me, and I gasped when he placed a hand on my back. With the tension between us on the ride here, I wasn’t expecting his touch.
It was still comforting.
“Sloan…” Sterling started, and I sighed as he continued, “darling-”
I cut him off by turning and planting my lips on his, shutting him up and finding comfort at the same time. We spent the night together in our bed, warmed by a fire, eating our meager food that we had kept while we were away.
He stayed only for a week, and soon, I was alone. For the foreseeable future, I would be alone and my heart began to feel heavy, soon after Sterling left. Going about my household chores and work on the homestead was easy enough, but I still hated how quiet it was here by myself. My horse was my only company and I spent as much time as I could with her, even taking long detours as we went to and from the only town nearby. Which was its own issue, when I entered the town for the first time.
Those that knew me by my work with Sterling were kind, but still standoffish, disliking me on the principle. I had gotten used to being looked down upon for my line of work, but it still stung. Maybe it was the change of my brain with a baby growing in my belly, my mother mentioned she forgot nearly everything in her early months and cried every time she did.
I kept my tears to myself, feeling the sting of loneliness, until I was with my mare, Willow, and we were far, far away from civilization. Sterling and I had no friends here, even after our work for the local sheriff. He was likely to be the kindest to either of us, but I didn’t wish to strain that relationship by overstaying my welcome in town.
Riding with Willow became harder as I got sicker, then I began to gain a sizable swell around my middle and it inhibited me from even getting in the saddle without some difficulty. The months passed with little excitement.
I hated it.
Sterling did make a stop here or there, when his travel brought him close to home every month, give or take a week or two, and showered me with affection and gifts. His hands traveled my new body, mumbling his amazement at the changes every time, and telling me how absolutely divine I was. It was adorable and helped my self-image. I felt heavy and slower than normal. Mentally and physically, I felt slower, the baby taking more and more of myself with every passing day. Sterling didn’t seem to care though, when he was home he waited on me hand and foot. ‘Making up for lost time,’ was what he told me. I would relent and let him, enjoying the attention and his fussing. His tender touch on my swollen belly made my heart flutter for him as it had on our wedding day.
He was due to leave again tomorrow morning, but for now, he clung to my body as if I would fade away if not held down by him. We laid in bed and listened to the rain hit the metal roof above us. The fire was dim, but not dying, so we lingered comfortably together, dozing in and out of sleep.
Sterling’s hand strayed over my hip and I smiled, keeping my eyes closed. His touch was intoxicating, and I pressed into his grip, catching his breathy chuckle before his lips pressed against my skin just under my belly button.
“Perfection,” he mumbled, utterly transfixed. Sterling continued to pepper my belly with kisses, taking a pause only to finish his thought, “perfect and mine.”
My husband devoured me then, his lips and tongue delving between my legs and into my slick heat. His facial hair tickled my thighs and I sighed happily as he showed his devotion, fully lost to every sensation he gave me. Tomorrow Sterling would ride off again, but for now, he was nestled between my legs, one hand on my thigh and the other over where our little one rested in my belly.
The night passed by too fast. He said his goodbyes, lingering for longer than he should have, not letting me out of his grip until he finally had to leave. He rode off on his own mare, and I stared after them for a time. The baby in me shifted and pressed against my bladder, making me grunt and rub my hand over my belly.
“Don’t act up because your father’s gone.” I mumbled, returning to bed for a bit more rest.
Sterling didn’t return the next month. As I continued to grow, crawling closer to my time, worry made me ill - more than once. It wasn’t out of the question for him to be sidetracked or taking more time to travel, but the worry still made me return to the comfort of our bed throughout the day often.
A lot of the chores fell into disarray, my only constant was making sure Willow was fed and watered. My massive middle made moving difficult, doing anything that wasn’t necessary was asking too much of myself. At one point, I began to wear only my thin cotton nightgown, even while outside, not caring to get dressed if there was nobody around. It also made coming and going from bed easier.
It was late in the evening when I felt the first contractions. I was waiting for Sterling in the rocking chair he had bought when we moved here when I felt it. My hands rubbed over my middle, taking a deep breath as I realized I was effectively alone for the foreseeable future. Meaning I would have to deliver on my own.
My throat felt tight, and I struggled to relax my muscles as a few moments passed and the pain disappeared. Tears pooled in my eyes and I cried as my labor started.
I tried to climb into bed and rest, trying to mentally prepare myself for this. I also couldn’t help but pray for Sterling to return, so I wasn’t alone, but I knew it would prove fruitless. The cross that hung from my neck offered little comfort as I clutched it, breathing in as a pain wrapped its way around my belly. A grunt left me as I rolled over onto my hands and knees, this pain lasting longer than the last few.
“Nughhh.” I moaned, trying to rock myself through the painful gripping of my womb. A weight had slowly begun to move down with this pain and I felt my hips ache as they adjusted for the head of my baby slid down.
Arching my back, my huge belly rubbing against the bedding as I continued to moan through the pain, rocking and moaning. In the back of my mind, I had some shame acting like this, moving like this, it felt brazen. That thought was pushed away as the pain seemed to peak and I cried out loudly, the weight of a boulder pressing against my pelvis.
Faintly, I became aware of the patter of rain on our roof, a storm settling in overhead as my labor progressed.
A split second after I caught the sound of the rain, I felt a huge shift in pressure, my womanhood aching from the inside. I swore in pain, rocking again, as the pressure continued to build. Tears burned my eyes, and I felt my hips strain. There was no relief from the pressure, even as I moved back and forth. The child in me moved and made me gasp, stilling my movements.
The pain and pressure made my mind hazy, but I was aware of my body rejecting this position, I had to move.
Slowly, and pausing for several long moments every time I had a pain, I was able to scoot off the edge of the bed, dropping into a deep squat. Fully leaning against the side of the bed as I reached down and tugged my nightgown up and off of my sweating body. I felt hot, everything felt too warm. My womanhood most of all.
I cried out with another contraction, the squat making the pressure ease some, but the pain remained constant. My vagina hurt, it burned, it felt like the boulder between my legs was stretching my hole apart as slowly as it possibly could.
The rain outside picked up, the sound of thunder greeting my ears as I dropped my head onto the soft bedding with a cry. The pressure returned and unable to release it, I simply bore down with everything I had in a big push. I screamed loudly in pain.
A soft sound accompanied the sudden release of pressure, then settling into a deeper ache between my folds. The release of pressure was then followed by the sound of a gush of fluid hitting the wooden floor, and instantly, I knew what happened.
Unable to help myself, I let out a breathless laugh, the noise turning into a moan as a contraction grew around my tight belly. My hips burned, my pussy starting to bulge and I felt every inch of the child slip closer to entering the world. I cried out, sobbing as the burn in my womanhood spread to my folds. The weight of the child was just as painful, but I was suddenly grateful I moved when I did. There was no way I could even think of moving from this position now.
I pushed again, my body trembling as I strained to urge my child from me. My pussy felt too warm, like someone had held a candle to it, and I couldn’t help the fat tears that rolled over my cheeks and onto the bedding. With a tight grip, I wrapped my hands in the blankets, my knuckles quickly turning white as I pushed once again.
“Sloan!”
My breath caught in my throat, moan cut midway, as my heart thudded painfully in my ears. That was… “Sterling…” I breathed, my throat sore, but my body quickly reminded me that our child sat at my entrance. I groaned again, barely able to choke out, “...baby…coming…”
“Sloan!”
I heard him again, but I couldn’t respond again, my body urging me to push. I felt the spread of my folds, the head bulging me outwards painfully.
The door slammed open, the sound of thunder accompanying the noise, and I heard Sterling’s boots on the floor.
His hands were on my shoulders, free of his gloves, and rubbed gently. He whispered, “I’m here, dearest, I’m here.”
I sobbed again, unsure if it was from his sudden support, or from the pain, but it mattered little. I pulled my head up from the bed, groaning as I pushed with a new contraction. The head spread me apart, my folds pulled tight around it as it slowly emerged.
Behind me, Sterling cooed at me softly and rubbed my shoulders and hips, trying to ground me as I fought with my body with each push. I caught the sound of him shifting several times, his spurs jingling with the slightest bit of movement. It was distracting, if only for a few seconds.
The head continued to crown, very slowly, as I pushed several more times. I tossed my head back and groaned, the head holding me spread apart as I felt the child wiggle in the birth canal. Gasping, I lifted my head, and grabbed a new fistful of bedding.
“The baby…! Catch…the baby…!” I warned Sterling, feeling the sudden, painful urge to push again. I gritted my teeth and bore down, my squat deepening as far as it could go. I felt Sterling’s hands leave my hips and he obeyed my request as I felt one of his hands brush against my swollen and bulging pussy. He gasped, feeling the head at its widest point in me as I pushed as hard as I could.
The head slipped out, making me release the push with a gasp. More dribbling of fluid hit the floor and then I heard Sterling’s sharp intake of breath. I felt his fingers prod around my opening, making me pant, but he pressed a kiss to my shoulder, silently telling me to continue.
With the next contraction I pushed, it was only for a split second before I felt the babe wiggle in me again. I screamed loudly, continuing to push as the pain seemed to linger for far longer than before. The baby lurched downward, falling into Sterling’s hands as I continued to push, the rest of the baby falling out of me with a spill of fluid.
I dropped my head down onto the bed and released the sheets, shakily falling to my knees as Sterling brought the baby to and around to my chest. I lifted myself up and pulled the child close to my chest, weeping when I saw my baby, her own cries sharp and strong. She was perfect.
“We have a girl,” Sterling whispered to me softly, his voice turned watery. “A baby girl.”
I wiped her face, her cries continuing as I felt more tears spill over my cheeks. “Oh, she’s everything.” I said, softly. She was everything.
Sterling kissed the top of my head, pressing his lips close to my ear and whispering - just for me, “you did amazing, Sloan.”
I leaned against him, wrapping our girl in a blanket and bringing her back as close as possible to me. I couldn’t ask for anything else - my life now felt complete, wrapped in Sterling’s embrace and holding our newborn daughter.
#hi this is not Great but it's not Bad#i am struggling with writer's block and this is everything I got out this week#birth fiction#birth kink#labor kink#fpreg birth#fpreg#birthing kink#preggo kink#pregnant angel thoughts
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Teacher!Ryomen Sukuna x Sorcerer!Reader // Teacher!Sukuna HC's <3
(THIS IS NOT STUDENT X TEACHER, READER IS NOT A STUDENT!)
Personally, I think it’s an actual crime there isn’t more teacher!sukuna content out there. I’ve only ever seen one fan art of it, and ever since I’ve been scrounging around on my hands and knees to find more
So m’ gonna just do it myself 🙏
-!! [AFAB + AMAB] READER (HC’s involving reader’s bodily autonomy have both a female and male vers. → brief smut drabble at the end) [everyone's in on this one👏]
-!! Reader is a rather powerful sorcerer
-!! CW: Slight possessiveness (mainly for the short smut at the end → overstimulation, dacryphilia, slight size kink(?), mention of double cocks for og form Sukuna)
-!! Veeeery slight nod to manga spoiler if you squint. If you don’t know it 99% certain you won’t pick up on it
-!! Sukuna being a bit of a softy for his SO
3k+ words
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Awhile (around a good few centuries) ago, Ryomen Sukuna came to the conclusion that no, this was in fact not the way he wanted to live his life. He decided to put everything behind him; the bloodshed, the death, the massacres, and cannibalisms— (okay maybe that stayed the same)— all the things that essentially made his staple as the King of Curses. He’s a changed curse, he swears it. Honestly? Human food? Not that bad. Kinda worth changing his world view for
With a changed work ethic, and a changed heart, Ryomen Sukuna made the conscious decision to become a teacher, — specifically a teacher in sorcery
—————-
Ryomen Sukuna works at Jujutsu Tech,-- the infamous King of Curses, who predominantly spends most of his days helping ungrateful brats obtain the necessary skills to kill his kind
→”No, you thick-skinned brat, you’re doing it all wrong!”
“I’m sorry, Sukuna-sensei! I’m trying,--.. I really am! Could you maybe go over it one more time–”
“No! You’re going to die all alone as your friends are tortured mercilessly!”
“How could you say that…” 🥺
Following the fateful passing of Yuji Itadori’s grandpa, the poor kid awakened as a sorcerer with a rather nasty supply of cursed energy; a complete abnormality with an aura suspiciously like that of a certain Ryomen Sukuna…
→ “The little brat is not living with me”
“Awh, c’mon Sukuna-!! The kid’s a ticking time bomb to disaster, he needs help controlling his cursed energy, and who better to help than the amazing King of Curses himself!”
“Shut up, Satoru Gojo.”
“Ohoho~... looks like someone isn’t happy to become a single mother~~”
“What-!? Single moth– fool, you yourself are a single mother”
“...oh, yeah. Hehe… 😚”
“I hate it here…😒”
Now, with the additional burden of personally attending to Yuji Itadori, there was only one thing keeping Ryomen Sukuna from completely imploding:
You. His partner, his lover, his spouse, his anchor,-- the only source of light in his miserable, cursed life, – the sole person keeping him from reverting back to his old, murderous ways.
Meeting a few years back, the ancient curse could’ve sworn the world got a dozen shades lighter the second his eyes landed on your form in the Tokyo crowd. Where everyone was actively moving away from his looming, intimidating hulk of a body, you looked at him with eyes void of the fear reflected off so many others.
You approached him with interest, recognizing his unmistakable aura for that of the King of Curses, – and, to his utmost shock, – you proceeded to have a perfectly normal, civilized conversation with him. Never once did you look at him like you would a monster. Every time he’d get lost in those eyes of yours, never once did he find anything short of pure love and affection. It was sickeningly sweet.
There on a mission, you introduced yourself as a fellow Jujutsu Sorcerer.
Ryomen Sukuna could’ve sworn he’d heard your name before: rather infamous with the higher-ups, you were a well-respected sorcerer. That only aided to his immense confusion: why would a sorcerer of such high esteem and all around regard even remotely think talking to him, the King of Curses, was a good idea?
Absolutely flabbergasted and entranced from your first encounter, Ryomen Sukuna was practically completely at your mercy. It took very little for you to simply haul him over your shoulder and take him wherever; he’d soon become akin to a lost puppy with you.
Ryomen Sukuna is absolutely down-horrendous with his emotions. Hah, communication? Never heard of her.
He’s never felt this deep for anyone before, and it terrifies him to no end. You terrify him to no end,-- the amount of power you have over him could be almost comical.
At the start, he flat out avoided you altogether. Anytime he’d see you on campus he’d immediately start in the opposite direction. Anytime you’d attempt to strike up a conversation something would come up,-- he’d have to go somewhere, or the brats had gotten themselves in trouble again. And when Satoru Gojo found out about his little “crush”... oh boy, the teasing was lethal.
It wasn’t long before he craved your touch, and Ryomen Sukuna started to enter withdrawal from your presence. You were brutal, the poison continuously being pumped into his veins, – which was extra ironic, considering he was after all the King of Poisons, – how the actual hell did he end up in such a position? What have you done to him?
Man, he was cooked.
With a lot of time, and a heck of a lot of patience, did the curse finally allow himself to reveal more of himself to you.
It’s never been easy, – even after you two were married did Ryomen Sukuna still suck absolute ass at communicating his wants.
He craved your attention, your gaze, your approval. You were the drug that he simply couldn’t get enough of.
He’s not good with words, – in the past everything was just handed to him, – he had no clue how to actually work for someone’s affection.
Please be patient with him, – he’s trying, he really is 🥺. No matter how much he denies it, no matter how much he complains he hates being dependent on someone, no matter how much he claims how meaningless love is, you both know deep down these feelings of deep admiration and affection aren’t one sided. Sometimes, that fact alone can get you through even his most frustrating of times. He pushes you away because he feels guilty, but almost immediately does he regret his actions and desire your presence more than anything. The things you do to him
He lost his original form centuries ago, abandoning it after his near fatal confrontation with the sorcerers of the Heian Era. Gravely wounded, he absolved to staying hidden, laying low in the shadows. Sometimes he wished he still had that form, – still had his four arms, his two faces– he felt stronger, prettier in that body. Despite how much you told him how beautiful his current, two-armed form was, he wonders if you would’ve liked his original form– what it could do, how it could please your body. (But most of all he missed his two massive cocks to shove deep inside you–)
Ryomen Sukuna is very insecure about his image as the feared “King of Curses”. He’d be seen as weak, like he’d gone soft, – if anyone found out about you. That did little to deter you from showering him with your affections though <3 Even if he struggled to receive such affections–:
“What the actual hell do you think you’re doing–”
“What? Am I not allowed to visit my darling husband at his job?”
“No- ..! Who exactly do you think you are, you can’t just waltz into wherever to embarrass me–” You were in an empty classroom in what would be the normal time for lunch. The students would be out eating, so it was only you and him.
“Is that really all you think I do? Embarrass you?” You fought to conceal the pained expression threatening to bubble up to the surface.
“Yes! Do you know what they’ll think of me if they see me with you? He snaps angrily
“Are you.. Ashamed of me?” You blink
“What-? No, of course not” His face contorts into a scowl
“Then why can’t people see me with you?!”
“That’s not what I meant–” He hisses
“Yeah?” you retort, “then, what did you mean by that?”
“I–....” Ryomen Sukuna only ever seems to find himself short of words with you
Nodding curtly, “I’ll take my leave then” you make your way to the door
“Wait-” you pause, he hated seeing you upset. It made him feel hopeless, it made him feel weak. “tsk, nevermind. Leave then”
Huffing, you step out the door. Your second foot never even leaves the threshold before you’re lifted up by a pair of strong arms.
“Gah-! Ryomen– what the hell?!”
“Shut up.” the curse growls, placing you down on the nearest desk with a surprising gentleness, “just shut up.” He nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck
You smile, accustomed to his brazenness, knowing this was him succumbing to his own affections for you.
“I’ll be quieter next time.”
“Mmm… don’t be”
“Oh?” you quirk an eyebrow, “are you no longer embarrassed of being seen with me?”
“No,” he grumbles, “if any pathetic worm dares to utter something against me, I’ll cleave their head off”
Chuckling, “charming”
“I’ll do it for you too” that part he whispers, so low you almost miss it. Almost.
“Awh, you’d slaughter anyone putting dirt on my name? And they say romance is dead 🥰”
“Shut the hell up.”
-------------
Sukuna Ryomen would have a special ringer set for you in his phone so whenever you’d text him he’d know it was you
He never responds to anyone’s texts,-- anyone’s that’s not yours.
The second he hears that notification that man is immediately scrolling. It took him years to figure out how to work a telephone,-- and he still kinda sucks at it. So it takes him a while to respond, – he’s just a slow typer :)
He’ll be in the middle of sparring with Yuji for his training when he’ll hear your notification and swiftly whip out his phone, – still in the middle of fighting. Poor Yuji will still be sweating his ass off trying his very diddly darn hardest to land a singular punch and he won't even glance up from his phone 😭
It doesn’t matter what he’s doing, – the guy could be in the middle of fighting a Special Grade and he’d start texting you about what he wants for dinner while simultaneously throwing slashes 😟
Not big on PDA, – but alone? Man, you can’t get the bastard off you, – blud’s clingier than a kitten 😭he just really likes being nice and snuggled up in your arms
Alone, will often call you, – regardless of gender, – doll, (whore), sweetheart (if you’re not being a pain in the ass), – possessive lil’ shit and likes to add ‘my’ in front of any pet name, just to enforce the fact that you’re his.
Calls you karasu –(Japanese word for raven)
Sukuna Ryomen is incredibly picky with what he eats, (unless it’s your ass–) – he needs his meals done in a very specific way, otherwise he’s just not eating. It needs to be your meals too. If bro forgets to bring lunch or you don’t have time to make one for him he just starves. He’s an absolute menace when hangry– super grumpy. None of the students can stand him hungry, – and he refuses to defile his delicate palette with fast food of all horrible things
You got some of those cute cookie cutters for sandwiches and gave him little star sandwiches one day for his lunch. Mans was over the fucking moon. His ass refuses to ever eat another sandwich again unless its cut into cute lil’ shapes 🤏🥺
Be careful if you ever decide to visit him at work after a certain amount of times, cuz he will make you useful: using you as a sparring partner, giving you chores, making an example out of you to the other students.
You’re strong enough to hold your own against the King of Curses in a quick spar, – which really only means you won’t get immediately eviscerated upon throwing hands.
You’re strong, but nowhere near as strong as Ryomen Sukuna.
He’d only give you a cocky smirk, telling you to hurry up and lock in. You stare at the expecting faces of Megumi, Nobara and Yuji – who you naturally have grown a rather close bond to, being around each other so often. He gives you a reassuring thumbs up, smiling with an expectant glamor. You gulp, glancing back at your husband who has the most shit-eating grin on his face. Oh, you were cooked.
You manage to successfully dodge at least two strong attacks before being thrown onto your ass, the wind knocked out of you. Huffing, you scramble up, irritation giving you newfound determination. The King only raises an eyebrow at you.
You explode into a sprint, dashing up behind him, seemingly catching him off-guard. You lean in real close to his ear, whispering in a sultry tone:
“Your shoelace is untied”
“What, I’m not even wearing shoelaces–” and he gets thrown into the nearest tree, snapping it in half.
“Hahah!!”
“No way, Sukuna just got his ass handed to him!” Nobara exclaims, grinning
“That was so cool!” gushes Yuji, sending a wave of pride flowing through you at his excitement.
It is short lived, as your husband comes up behind you, glaring with a burning passion in his eyes.
“You totally beat him up, you sent him flying–” Megumi slaps a hand to Yuji’s mouth, his rambling getting choked off with a “mmph-!”
His smile is laced with dynamite as Sukuna dismisses the students early. Confused, but mostly relieved, the trio scurry away, Nobara and Yuji shouting cheery goodbyes over their shoulders.
Only you were close enough to see the raging lust in the King of Curse’s many eyes. His gaze rakes over your body, tensed in a fight or flight state, predatory. You swallow, hard, chuckling nervously, “Heheheh…”
Oh man, you were so horribly, undoubtedly cooked.
(short smut begins below line)
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[AFAB vers.]
Sukuna is brutal, hips smashing against yours, large hands gripping so hard large bruises start to form on your hips. You cry out, sobbing, pleading with him to slow the fuck down. Sukuna only clicks his tongue, condescension dripping from his tone,
“Where’s all that confidence and strength from before, eh?”
“h..*hic*..huh-?”
“Tsk,” he grunts, slamming himself particularly hard into your leaking heat, causing you to scream in both pleasure and pain
“S..sukuna-!! P- *hic* please..-! I-..I can’t— I can’t– OHH~” You keel over, knees giving in from underneath you. You stay pressed firmly against the teacher’s desk– his desk– in his empty classroom, – only being held by Sukuna’s deadly grip. “I-It *hic*.. It– HURTS..- *hic*”
“You can,... and. you. will.” he punctuates each syllable with another unforgivable thrust, “You seemed confident enough you.. *pant* take me in a..- *pant* .. in a fight– fuck–” Warm cum swells, coating your insides white.
Your eyes roll violently to the back of your head, thighs squeezing desperately against him, instinctively trying to milk him for all he’s got, – despite the excess cum already spilling from your abused hole, kept in only by Sukuna’s massive cock. Was this the fourth or the fifth time..?
You lost count ages ago, numbers losing all sense of value along with everything else in your head, Sukuna absolutely fucking your goddamn brains out. Dumbed by his cock, you could only limply gaze dreamily through lidded eyes, a look of pure bliss on your face.
Sukuna grins down at your fucked out face, admiring you as his masterpiece. You looked so pretty impaled on his cock. Pulling your head back by your hair, he smashes his lips onto yours in a sloppy kiss. You truly were the best thing to come of his long, cursed life.
-------------
[AMAB vers.]
Sukuna is cruel, hips smashing against your ass, large hands gripping so hard large bruises start to form on your hips. He fucks you, bent over the desk, – his desk, in his empty classroom,-- and shaking like a pathetic mutt. You cry out, sobbing, pleading with him to slow the fuck down. Sukuna only clicks his tongue, condescension dripping from his tone,
“Where’s all that confidence and strength from before, eh?”
“h..*hic*..huh-?”
“Tsk,” he grunts, large hand closing around your swollen, throbbing cock. Your eyes widen in horror as he begins to jerk you off at a grueling pace, causing you to scream in both pleasure and pain
“S..sukuna-!! P- *hic* please..-! I-..I can’t— I can’t– OHH~” You keel over, knees giving in from underneath you. You stay pressed firmly against the desk only held by Sukuna’s torso. “I-It *hic*.. It– HURTS..- *hic*”
“You can,... and. you. will.” He punctuates each syllable with another unforgivable thrust, syncing with a violent pump to your cock, limpand emptied out. “You seemed confident enough you.. *pant* take me in a..- *pant* .. in a fight– fuck–” Warm cum swells, coating your insides white.
Your eyes roll violently to the back of your head, thighs squeezing desperately against him, instinctively trying to milk him for all he’s got, – despite the excess cum already spilling from your abused hole, kept in only by Sukuna’s massive cock. You're so drained, already milked dry, a few meager squirts of cum dripping from your cock. Was this the fourth or the fifth time..?
You lost count ages ago, numbers losing all sense of value along with everything else in your head, Sukuna absolutely fucking your goddamn brains out. Dumbed by his cock, you could only limply gaze dreamily through lidded eyes, the look of utter worship on your face enough for him to harden once again inside of you.
Sukuna grins down at your fucked out face, admiring you as his masterpiece. You looked so pretty impaled on his cock. Pulling your head back by your hair, he smashes his lips onto yours in a sloppy kiss. You truly were the best thing to come of his tedious, damned life.
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Sukuna brain-rot goes hard-!! He's such a goofy lil' guy, I love him :3
#jjk#jjk oneshot#jjk x gender neutral reader#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen#ryomen sukuna#sukuna#sukuna ryomen#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#ryomen sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna smut#jjk sukuna#jujutsu kaisen sukuna#sukuna x female reader#sukuna x male reader#sukuna x reader smut#sukuna ryomen x reader#ryomen x reader#sukuna x reader fluff#sukuna smut#jjk brainrot#jjk x fem!reader#jjk smut#jjk x male reader
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Got some Stanley fluff for ya (just an idea, I probably could flesh it out more but it’s a scene I’ve thought about a lot)
Old man Stan with his younger partner are curled up together on his old, yellow recliner. You’re sitting between his legs, side pressed to his chest while your legs fall over the armrest.
Stan is holding you so securely as he focuses on whatever shitty hallmark movie is playing, fingers rubbing against your hip stalling as he scoffs at whatever stupid decision the characters in the movie make.
But all you can do is laugh and kiss under his jaw while he complains, nuzzling your face into his neck when he stumbles over his words. Huffing now about how you’re throwing him off by acting how the characters in the movie should be acting.
I just wanna sweetly fluster the old man and make him feel loved.
The Duchess Approves
Thank you so much for request! I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to get to it. I’m just happy to get a Stan request. I’m a Ford girl, but I do love some Stanley. He’s the sweetest goober.
Tags: Fluff
You gave a relaxed sigh even as Stan talked over the TV. You were laid across him on his recliner. Your rear was between his legs , head on his chest, while your ankles were crossed over one of the arm rests. At first, you had hated that ugly, yellow chair. Now, it was the most comfortable place in the world.
When you had first started seeing Stan, he would take you out and show you off. However, the sugar baby allegations were too much for you to deal with. You loved this man. You didn’t care that he was forty years older than you. However, everyone else in town did.
Despite his assurances, it made you about uncomfortable. “Don’t worry, babe,” he had smirked, “they’re just jealous I get you all to myself.”
Still, you much preferred where you were now with your side pressed firm to his chest. You could tell he was trying to suck in the pudge he often hid behind a girdle. If only he knew how much you loved it.
Usually, his demeanor was so hard. His personality was gruff, but you knew the sweeter side, the softer side. That’s why you loved that little pooch that you could only ever full see when he was sleeping next to you.
“These idiots,” Stan grouched from above you. “Don’t they knew that’s not how you win a lady’s heart?” He bent you back in his lap and pressed a wet kiss to your mouth. When he pulled away, his face was covered in a smile. You blushed so beautifully. “Now, that’s how you win a lady.”
The two of you had watched The Duchess Knows a million times. Stan always said you loved it whenever someone caught him gabbing on and on. In truth, you couldn’t stand it, but it made him happy, so you would sit through it.
Lazily, his fingers drew shapes on your hips through your pajama pants. Your head rested on his chest, peppering kisses under his chin. He was so engrossed in whatever sleazy moves Count Lionel was making.
In a twist, the Count kissed the Duchess’s sister. Stan scoffed, his fingers on your hip stilling. He looked down at you. “You’d kill me if I ever did that crap! Who does he think he’s foolin’?” He shook his head, “He’s definitely not fooling me. I clocked him as a cad the moment I saw him.”
“Takes one to know one,” you snarked. You gave him another kiss.
He glanced down at you for a brief moment. “Listen here, toots, I may be a cad, but I’m your cad. Get over it.”
“Silly old man,” you sighed as you rested your head on his chest again. He pulled you in tighter. “I wouldn’t have you any other way.”
He nestled you deeper into his hold, body pressed flush against your side. He gave a huff. “Ya know, hot stuff, I’d fight any pantaloon wearing geek for you. Defend your honor and all that mushy stuff.”
#gravity falls#gravity falls x reader#stanley pines#stanley pines x reader#stan pines x reader#stan pines#chillinglyadventurousdrabbles#feed the author#anon ask
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miss me, but let me go
“I have - I’ve carried this grief, for you, for so long, and I know I can’t let it all go, because a part of me is always going to grieve for you,” Eddie paused. “But I can’t feel like this forever, Shannon. I don’t think you’d want me to, either. So - I need to let some of it go. Okay? I need to - I need to be myself now. For me, and for Christopher. I want to be me."
On November 1, Eddie builds an altar for Shannon and finds a way to let her go.
ao3 link
November 1. The date is not one Eddie is likely to ever forget. Even before Shannon died, Dia de los Muertos wasn’t a holiday he ever missed - as a child, he would help his abuelo make their altar every year, a picture of his abuelo front-and-centre, Edmundo Diaz Senior, the man he’d been named for, looking sharp in his suit as he looked out from the glass picture frame where he’d lived all of Eddie’s life. He’d never met his grandfather - only carried his name.
Over the years, more faces found a home on the altar - friends, and family, time a fickle thing and the only certainty about life that it ended. Death was familiar, a constant in a world Eddie felt like he could never quite figure out.
After Shannon died -
The first November 1 after she died, Eddie built his own altar for the first time, explaining the tradition to Christopher. They had done it every year since, Christopher’s face in a set line as he made sure everything was absolutely perfect. No less than his mother deserved, Eddie knew.
Shannon hadn’t grown up with the traditions of All Saints and All Souls, but she’d embraced them wholly when she and Eddie had gotten married, making the altar herself when Eddie wasn’t there. It felt right to honour her with the traditions she had loved herself. That was why Eddie had taken to adding a picture of Shannon’s mother to the altar too, when she died the year after Shannon did. Breast cancer, they’d said, but Eddie knew heartbreak had been the thing that had pushed her over the edge.
Every year, Eddie celebrated Shannon, and her mother, his grandfather, the people he’d served with who had died -
Except this year.
Eddie felt bad. Really, he did - he was going to build the altar himself, but when his dad had texted a picture of the Diaz family altar, Shannon front and centre, Eddie couldn’t quite bring himself to make his own. Shannon was being remembered - that was what mattered. He’d gone to her grave instead, only half listening as the priest had said mass over the graveyard, praying for the salvation of the souls who were buried there.
Grief was a funny old beast, Eddie knew. Grief had made him do crazy things - grief had driven his son to Texas, for crying out loud. The grief didn’t hit standing by her grave, but it did when dusk descended over Eddie’s house, and the absence of an altar began to feel like one of the worst things he’d done amongst a year of terrible decision-making.
Maybe he should have taken Buck up on his offer of coming over to make an altar with him, but Eddie had asked enough of his best friend in the last four months. Eddie knew Tommy had bought them tickets for some movie Buck was dying to see, and as much as Eddie was a near-professional third wheel now, he didn’t think he’d make a good addition to the back row of their local movie theatre.
Eddie winced as he looked at the candle he’d swiped from the dining table. “It’s cedarwood,” he said, apologetic as he lit it, setting the candle down in front of the framed picture of Shannon that lived on their fireplace. “I know you hated cedarwood, but I’m working with what I’ve got here, Shan.”
Eddie pressed his cheek against his folded arms, taking one, two, three shaky breaths. “I really struggled after you left, Shannon. I don’t think I really even realised how much until now - and it’s not just because you were gone, but you were gone and you wanted a divorce, and I - suddenly, I was never going to get answers.”
He’d been talking about Shannon a lot in therapy, lately, unpacking all his complicated feelings during his excruciating weekly hour with Frank.
“I don’t know if I even wanted to stay married to you,” Eddie admitted, the candle flickering in the growing dark of his living room. That was terrifying to admit out loud - that even if she had stayed alive, he and Shannon wouldn’t have made it work. There were a thousand reasons why, and Eddie could sit, and list them all, but one was more important than the others.
“I think I’m gay, Shannon,” Eddie had never said it out loud before, despite the thought never quite leaving his mind, Pandora’s box open, now. “If you were here, I bet you’d have such a laugh with that - not like, in a bad way. Just - I think you’d find it funny, that your mom’s gaydar was right after all.”
He couldn’t help but laugh at the thought himself. Shannon’s mom had been the bitchiest woman he’d ever met, and Eddie loved her for it.
“I’ve made such a mess of things,” Eddie paused. “But with you, most of all. I’m sorry - for my part in it all. I thought I was doing the right thing, joining the army. I just wanted to take care of you and Chris, and I didn’t see any other way out. I know it was the wrong choice - but I really thought it was the right one. You know?”
Shannon’s picture stayed silent.
“I have - I’ve carried this grief, for you, for so long, and I know I can’t let it all go, because a part of me is always going to grieve for you,” Eddie paused. For the life she might have had, if not for the car crash - Eddie sometimes liked to indulge himself and think of an alternative life where Shannon had survived, where they got divorced, and learned how to co-parent, and maybe they found their way back to being friends. It was a nice thought.
Eddie wiped roughly at his eyes. “But I can’t feel like this forever, Shannon. I don’t think you’d want me to, either. So - I need to let some of it go. Okay? I need to - I need to be myself now. For me, and for Christopher. I want to be me.”
With a shaky hand, Eddie pressed a kiss to the framed picture, setting Shannon back down with the candle. It was a half-assed altar, and somehow, that made Eddie feel worse. He scrambled to his feet, heading for his bedroom, and the box of Shannon’s belongings he knew was stashed at the back of his wardrobe. He hadn’t kept much for himself - most of it was for Christopher - but he had a few things. There was a necklace in there, he knew that Eddie had bought her for their first wedding anniversary. It was a cheap thing, because they were always broke, but it was something of hers - it would make it a more acceptable offering.
Eddie couldn’t help the breath that hitched in his throat as he spotted what was in his bedroom. A butterfly, resting on his pillowcase, on the side he always slept on. “Hey, little guy,” he whispered softly, not wanting to startle the tiny creature. His abuela loved butterflies - they were spirits of the people you loved, who had left, coming back to visit. Eddie felt slightly ridiculous, but he said it anyway. “Shannon?”
The butterfly didn’t move.
“I’m so glad Christopher isn’t here, because he would really think I’ve lost it,” Eddie crouched by the side of his bed, holding out a finger. “Hey. Is this your way of telling me it’s okay to let you go? Did you hear all of that?”
The butterfly moved, tiny wings fluttering as it came to land on Eddie’s outstretched finger.
“I hope that’s a yes,” Eddie knew tears were streaming down his cheeks, now, but he didn’t want to freak the butterfly out by wiping them away. “How did you get in here, eh? None of the windows are open.”
If Eddie Diaz believed in a higher power, still, he’d blame God - or the universe.
“Let’s get you outside,” Eddie said, and the butterfly flapped, a little, coming to land on the windowsill instead. “Yeah? You’re ready to go?”
The butterfly flapped in response again.
“I think I’m ready to let you go, this time,” Eddie admitted, carefully unlatching the window. “We’re going to be okay, me and Christopher. I promise. You can go. You don’t need to worry about us.”
The butterfly seemed to pause, for a second, before it flew out the open window, disappearing into the beginnings of the evening. Eddie wasn’t sure how long he stood there, tears pouring down his cheeks, rolling off the curve of his chin and onto his shirt, but the next thing he knew, he could hear -
“Buck?”
“Eddie! You’re a firefighter - how long have you left that candle unattended, huh? Eddie - Eddie, where are you, man?”
Buck appeared in the doorway of Eddie’s bedroom, a family-sized bag of sour patch kids tucked under one arm. “Do I need to teach you the basics of fire safety all over again?” he huffed, pausing as he noticed Eddie’s tears. “Eddie - you okay?”
“Yeah,” Eddie offered his best friend a teary smile. For the first time, Eddie might actually mean that yes. “I’m okay. There - there was a butterfly,” he explained, gesturing at the window vaguely. “I had to let it out.”
“A butterfly?” Buck looked confused.
“My abuela always said butterflies were the spirits of people who’ve died,” Eddie explained. “I lit a candle for Shannon, and there was a butterfly just sitting on my pillow, when I came in here. It’s…” he paused. “It’s stupid.”
Buck’s face softened. ‘It’s not stupid,” he shook his head. “You think it was Shannon?”
Eddie glanced at the window again. “I hope it was,” he admitted, taking a deep breath before he closed the window. That in itself felt like symbolism, Eddie decided - a closing of a chapter he should have let go a long time ago. That’s what he needed it to be, at least. “Wait - aren’t you meant to be on a date?”
Bcuk shrugged. “We changed the tickets to tomorrow,” he explained, holding up the bag of candy. “You said you weren’t going to make an altar, and I didn’t want to let you skip out on it. These were her favourite, right?”
Eddie could cry all over again. Buck, like Shannon, hadn’t grown up with Dia de los Muertos, but here he was, with a bag of Eddie’s dead wife’s favourite candy, ready to sit in Eddie’s grief with him. Eddie wasn’t sure what he’d done in a previous life to deserve a friend like Evan Buckley, but he thanked whatever God or universe was listening for giving him Buck anyway.
“She’d eat so many she’d give herself a stomach-ache,” Eddie grinned, and the memory didn’t hurt, the way it used to, the grief a dull ache that he could grow around, now. He leaned into the embrace Buck offered, breathing in the familiar cedarwood scent of Buck’s favourite cologne. “Thanks. For being here.”
“Nowhere I’d rather be,” Buck hummed, pressing a ridiculous, loud, smacking kiss to the top of Eddie’s head. Eddie loved him. “But I’m buying you one of those electric candle warmers if you’re going to keep leaving candles unattended, Eddie.”
Eddie was mostly listening as he let Buck guide him back to the living room, the candle still flickering golden in front of Shannon’s picture. It was the same one he’d put on her memorial programme - bright, and beautiful, just like she’d always been when she was alive.
Buck grinned, as he set a piece of candy in front of her picture. “Berry,” he explained. “My favourite,” he added, tossing a handful of the sour sweets into his own mouth.
They sat, the television playing reruns of a procedural in the background, eating candy until their stomachs hurt, the candle burning all the way to the end.
The butterfly didn’t come back.
Buck stayed.
Eddie was ready to move on.
(Buck stayed.)
#911 abc#eddie diaz#evan buckley#its pre relationship buddie but mostly its about eddie and grief#in which i ramble#in which lorna writes fic
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[ AU / Speculation for me ] [ I CAN FIX IT .... NOT FOR YOU ]
Okay so because I am a man who hates to see things end badly Im here writing a sort of... fanfiction for myself that cleanse up the mess of Mouthwashing. No disrespect to the whole game but this is my thoughts Some warning for mature subjects and obviously possible spoilers for Mouthwashing!
Basically I thought about the idea of Jimmy being dealt with before he could complete his plan against the crew and it all stems from the idea that there's actually a secret cryopod on the ship. We see only 4 in the main part but there's 5 people on board, which even if you want to argue Pony Express doesn't give a shit, I think its somewhat reasonable to assume that should there be an emergency there would in fact be enough cryopods for everyone to get into so that a potential crew can be saved. This secret cryopod is obviously ONLY used in the case of an emergency and is ONLY known to exist by the captain. Aka Curly. Curly realizes that Jimmy is getting too unhinged and crossing far more lines than hes ever seen him do before. Though Curly fears and cares for his unfortunately stupidly manipulative friend, he realizes he has to take action against Jimmy to ensure no harm comes to the remaining crew. So Curly basically tricks Jimmy into thinking that he's going to be revealing a secret to Jimmy, something only "a captain and his co-pilot can know" before taking Jimmy to this secret cryopod. Since technically having a "potential psychological unsound person" on board DOES class as an emergency and with no "brig" available for holding, Jimmy is put in there. His last moments is Curly's well deserved "betrayal." Thus now Jimmy is a festering sleeping mess inside the cryo-chamber, grinding thru a horrific nightmare where he gets his revenge on Curly, where he gets control of the ship while spiralling further and further into outright INSANITY in some jacob's ladder style purgatory as his mental state is forever stuck "coping" with his anger, his guilt, his fear, his hatred, his selfishness and so on and so forth. Basically everything that happens in the events of Mouthwashing is a already crazy's man nightmare-ish delusion as he awaits judgement day, aka the time when he leaves the pod and has to face the justice he deserves. Meanwhile with Jimmy put away in hold, the crew get a chance to breath. Jimmy overbearing nature eases everyone tension and though it was a hard decision it was a well made one. Its not all perfect however because Anya takes all of this quite hard feeling guilty that it got this far. She does attempt to end her life which she is luckily saved from by Curly and the rest of the crew. Since Anya is now sick, Daisuke has to take over acting as Nurse, following Curly and Anya instructions on how to make this all easier. Anya is safe around Daisuke and his bright optimistic personality is really fitting for a nurse, never once does she feel ashamed or scared and for once feels a sense of relief and freedom. Her commenting that Daisuke would make a good nurse which Daisuke takes to heart since he still obviously struggling to find "what hes good at" Curly temporarily takes up the role of being an engineer with Swansea since, Curly as the lovely captain SHOULD know his ship inside and out too and hey, even as a bonus, he may even show Swansea how to steer a ship. This ends up with Curly and Swansea having a good man to man bond. In the end, Anya recovered free from her abuse and regains her personality and happiness, Daisuke discovers his passion for medical work happily taking college recommendation from Anya, Swansea learns a bit about riding a ship and thinks "hey I could probably do good as a space trucker" and Curly also detached himself from the parasite that is Jimmy who constantly been trying to drag him down! So there, I fixed it. But not for him.
#artists on tumblr#nvrarts#art#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing fanart#captain curly#jimmy mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#Its completely a fanfic of my own creation but i dont care#this is my attempt to make it okay#im allowed to be happy fuck it
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Hello, how are you? Could i request an angsty but smutty and fluff fic of Elijah and reader where they get into a fight but makeup in the end?
Stubborn
18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}
You and Elijah get into a fight about his protective nature. He thinks you are too stubborn, and you think he's too controlling. How will you resolve your issues?
♡♡ Thanks for the request anon! I don't know if this is very angsty, but it certainly is very smutty ♡♡
4.1k words - Warnings: smuttttt, very little plot, Cami being the best, dom!elijah (you like him in control? well... here you go...), fingering, squirting, angry sex...
"I'm not some damsel in distress, I don't need your protection!" You yelled, louder than you meant to. Arguing with Elijah was always a test of your restraint. He made it so damn difficult, he was always calm and composed. Sometimes you just wanted to push his buttons.
"Darling, I have so many enemies, and you're not invincible." He tried to reason.
"Don't patronize me, I know that, but you treat me like I can't take care of myself!" You snapped, pacing around the living room. You tried to calm yourself down, you didn't want to say something you'd regret, but the anger bubbling inside you wouldn't go away.
"I'm not trying to patronize you, I just think you could make better decisions." He said softly, his eyes following you as you paced.
"It's like you're treating me like a child! We're supposed to be equals, and you always talk to me like you're the parent and I'm the kid!" Your voice cracked a little, when you got angry you also would cry. You hated that about yourself.
Elijah could see the pain in your eyes, you were his soft and sweet y/n. He just wanted to protect you. He tried to approach you, to hold you and comfort you, but you pushed him away.
His actions made you feel weak, and foolish, here was a man that faced countless dangers, he was centuries old, he fought vampires and werewolves, witches and even his own siblings. And you were just this fragile thing, this tiny human he had to watch out for. It made you feel so weak and pathetic, all your insecurities bubbling up inside you, the tears falling down your cheeks.
You stormed away from him, and he let you, because he knew if he pushed you, it would just make things worse.
You had been dating Elijah for two months now, and in that time, he had taken on the role of a protective boyfriend. You liked being taken care of, but sometimes it felt like he didn't see you as an equal.
You had been arguing about this a lot lately. You didn't like being treated like you were breakable. You weren't. You had dealt with plenty of dangers in your life, and he didn't give you enough credit.
He was a stubborn man, and you were a stubborn woman, so the tension kept rising, until you finally had to get away from him. So you decided to stay at Cami's for a few days, she was a good friend, and she didn't judge you. She could always use some company anyways.
"So, he's a bit over protective, huh?" Cami asked. You were curled up on her couch, drinking a glass of wine. You were both having a night in, wearing pajamas and doing self-care.
"Yeah, and I know he means well, but I really value my independence, it's not something I'm willing to give up," You admitted.
"Do you feel like he doesn't respect you?" She asked, taking a sip of her own wine.
"No, he does, I know that, but it feels like he doesn't trust me." You said, looking down into your glass.
Cami stood and grabbed some snacks, tossing you a bag of your favorite chips. "I don't think that's it, I think he's scared. Scared to lose you. He's been through so much, and he's lost a lot of people he's loved." She said, plopping back down on the couch.
You let out a long sigh, you knew of his pain, but it was still hard to hear out loud. He held all of his trauma inside him, and sometimes it was difficult for him to share, even with you.
"I love him Cami, it's just hard. I've always had to take care of myself, I guess I just have a hard time accepting someone wanting to do that for me." You said softly, feeling the tears brimming your eyes.
"Have you told him that? That you love him?" She asked.
"No, I... I want him to say it first." You admitted.
Cami chuckled and took a long sip of her wine, then grabbed the remote and turned on a movie. It was one of those sappy romances that were so over the top and cheesy. But that's why they were so fun to watch.
"Just tell him. I'm sure he loves you too." Cami said, her gaze fixed on the tv.
"I know," you sighed, "I just want him to initiate, his so reserved, and I'm tired of always being the one who has to take the first step." You grumbled.
"He's probably worried about scaring you away, or making things awkward, you know how he can be." She said, turning to look at you, giving you a comforting smile.
"Yeah, I guess." You mumbled, curling up further on the couch.
Cami gave you a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder and the two of you continued to watch your movie, the sappy love story playing out in front of you.
"So," she said, breaking the silence, "how's the sex?"
You choked on your wine, sputtering a bit before regaining your composure. Cami was a little shit sometimes.
"The sex is amazing," You said, smirking at her. "But... I'm always the one initiating it. Sometimes I think his biggest problem is that he's too gentlemanly."
"Well, what have you done to make him be more spontaneous?" Cami asked, grabbing the bottle of wine and pouring more in her glass.
"Me?" You squeaked. "What did I do?"
"Maybe he doesn't want to take control because you never gave him permission." She asked.
You sat and thought about that. You were usually the one who would start things. You initiated kisses, hugs, hand holding, even the sex. Elijah was so reserved, so proper, he didn't want to overstep. It made you feel like he didn't desire you, which was ridiculous, you had seen him undressing you with his eyes.
"That's fair." You said. "I didn't realize he was waiting for permission."
"Men are idiots." Cami stated, making you laugh.
"Sometimes," you said, chuckling. "I just want to see him be the one to initiate, you know?"
"I know." She said, leaning back on the couch.
You finished the bottle of wine and watched the rest of the movie. It was so sweet, the ending was a happy one, the couple was together and they were in love. You wished life was that simple.
The next morning, you woke up with a pounding headache and a dry mouth. Cami was already awake, making coffee.
"Ugh," you groaned, rubbing your temples. "I should have drank more water,"
"I tried to remind you." Cami said, smirking at you.
"Well, excuse me for being drunk," You replied.
She handed you a mug of coffee, and you sipped it slowly, letting the warmth of the drink soothe your throat.
"Thanks for letting me stay here," you said.
"You know I don't mind." She replied, sitting on the couch next to you.
You leaned your head on her shoulder, sighing.
"I love him, but I think I need some space. Some time to myself." You said softly.
"I think that's a good idea." She replied.
"Are we doing the right thing? Am I being selfish?" You asked, chewing your bottom lip.
"No, you're not. You're being realistic. You need some space and some time to yourself." She replied.
"I'm going to go to the compound and pick up some clothes and stuff." You said.
"Want me to come with you?" She asked.
"No, that's ok, I think I can handle myself." You replied, smiling at her.
She gave you a reassuring squeeze and you got up, feeling a bit better after your talk.
"Thanks Cami, I'll call you later," You said, grabbing your keys and heading out.
Elijah was sitting at the kitchen counter, drinking a glass of whiskey, and he had a book open in front of him, though he wasn't reading it. His mind was too preoccupied. He missed you terribly, it had only been a couple days, but it felt like an eternity.
He thought back to the last conversation you had had. You had stormed off, and he hadn't chased after you, because he knew you needed time to cool down. He wanted to tell you he was sorry, but he knew you didn't want to hear it right now.
You were the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he didn't want to lose you. He was used to losing people, he had spent centuries running, he had been betrayed, lied to, hurt. But he had never met anyone quite like you.
You were sweet, funny, smart, and caring. He had fallen for you quickly, but he had been too afraid to admit it. Like if he said it out loud, everything would fall apart.
But in your absence he realized his mistake, and how foolish he had been. No more wasting time, he needs to tell you that he loves you, despite how stubborn you are.
You walked into the compound, it was eerily quiet, you hoped Elijah was out. So you could just quickly grab your things and leave.
You didn't expect him to be waiting for you in the kitchen, his face was serious, but his eyes were full of emotion.
"Elijah, I'm just here to pick up some clothes," You said, trying to walk past him. He stepped in front of you, blocking your way.
"We need to talk." He said, his tone firm.
"No, we really don't, I just want my things," You said, trying to move around him. He moved again, his arms crossed, and his face was stern.
"Stop treating me like a child! Let me by!" You yelled. He let you pass him and you ran up to your bedroom, grabbing some clothes.
He followed you and stood in the doorway, watching you, his eyes boring into your skin.
"Stop looking at me like that," You said, throwing some clothes into a bag.
"I hate seeing you upset," He replied, his voice soft.
"I'm not upset, I'm just angry." You said, moving past him to go into the bathroom, grabbing your toothbrush.
He followed you and leaned against the doorframe, watching you gather your toiletries.
"Please, let's just talk." He pleaded.
You sighed, looking up at him, his expression was pained, his jaw was clenched. You could see the desperation in his eyes. Your anger was still in charge though and you pushed past him again and started packing your things on the bed.
"So talk, I'm listening," You said harshly, still not looking at him.
He took a deep breath, his fists clenched, and he closed his eyes for a moment, composing himself. He knew he couldn't get through to you when you were angry like this.
"You're right," He said, opening his eyes and looking at you. "I'm sorry. I haven't been treating you fairly. I've been trying to protect you. But you are being stubborn and you're not letting me explain,"
You turned to look at him, trying to ignore how good he looked. His hair was messy, like he had been running his hands through it, and he was wearing a black shirt, his sleeves rolled up, and his tie was hanging loose around his neck. A part of you wanted to just give in and kiss him, but the other part of you was still pissed off.
He could hear your heart beating faster, your body temperature rising. He knew that he had an effect on you, and he was enjoying seeing you get flustered. He gave you a crooked smirk, and took a step closer to you, and you backed up, hitting the bed.
You took a shaky breath, trying to steady your breathing. You were angry, but his presence always made your body react, and your head spin.
"So stubborn," he growled, pushing you onto the bed.
"Fuck you, Elijah," you hissed, trying to sit up.
"Not today," he smirked, pinning you down with his weight.
"I said, fuck you," You growled, pushing on his chest.
He chuckled and leaned down, his face inches from yours. His eyes were dark, his lips curled up in a devilish smile.
"Say please," He purred, his breath ghosting over your lips.
You let out a frustrated groan, and he kissed you, hard. You whimpered, and he slipped his tongue into your mouth, exploring it, tasting you.
"Is this what you want? To be fucked?" He whispered, his lips grazing your ear.
"No," you lied, trying to squirm away from him, but his grip was too tight.
"Don't lie, darling, your body betrays you," He growled, nibbling your earlobe before leaving a trail of hickeys down your neck.
He suddenly tore the shirt off of you, making you gasp. He grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head, his other hand moving to your waist, pulling your skirt off.
"Eli- my clothes!" You whined, but he just chuckled, his eyes roaming your body.
"I'll buy you new ones," He smirked, nipping at your jaw, then capturing your lips with his.
"You can't just-" you were cut off by him biting your lip. You groaned and he released you, his hands roaming your body.
"Stop being so stubborn," He whispered, his fingers brushing over your lace panties, making you shiver.
"I'm not," you argued, biting back a moan as his fingers teased your clit.
He laid on his side next to you, opening your legs and pushing your panties out of the way. He grazed over your clit with the pad of his index finger, teasing you slowly. He loved this, teasing you, torturing you. You were so beautiful when you were desperate for him.
You whined and pushed your hips against his hand, and he pulled his hand away, smirking.
"You're such a tease," You growled, glaring at him.
"You're cute when you're angry," He smiled, his fingers returning to your pussy. He tapped your clit lightly, his lips ghosting over yours. You tried not to react, but it felt so good, this dominant side of him was driving you crazy.
He slid two fingers into you, and began thrusting them slowly. You gasped and arched your back, moaning loudly. Watching your reaction was thrilling, his cock was painfully hard, but he wanted to make you cum first.
"Listen to those sweet sounds," he purred, pumping his fingers in and out of you, curling them just right. “So filthy and wet, the way your body responds, it's like you were made for me."
"You're a fucking asshole," you moaned, trying to buck your hips against his fingers.
"I can stop, if you want," He whispered, his voice dark.
"No," You whimpered, "I-I'm close."
"Oh, I know, darling." He smiled, "You're going to cum, and I'm going to make you cum again, and again, until all the stubborn thoughts in your head disappear."
His fingers were pumping fast now, and you couldn't help the noises you were making. Your orgasm was building in such a way that you knew it would be intense. He was right, you were stubborn, you didn't want to give him the satisfaction of hearing you moan, but it was becoming more and more difficult to hold back.
"Eli- wait, your gonna make me-" You stuttered, gasping as he added a third finger, stretching you even more.
"Make a mess?" He purred, curling his fingers just right, hitting your g-spot.
The lewd, wet, squelching noises coming from your pussy were embarrassing, and the fact that he was enjoying them made it worse. He could feel your walls tightening around his fingers, your whole body trembling, you were so close.
He sped up his pace, and he could see the moment when you reached your peak. Your body tensed up, your back arching, and then a loud cry escaped your lips.
Your juices spilled out onto his fingers, covering his hand. It was so much, you had never squirted before, and the look on Elijah's face was pure lust and amusement.
It made you embarrassed and a bit angry and you tried to move away, but he kept his fingers buried deep inside you, not letting you escape.
"Don't be ashamed," He said, kissing your forehead, his fingers moving slowly, causing your legs to tremble.
"I'm not," You panted, glaring at him, trying to suppress a moan.
"Really?" He purred, his eyes locking with yours, "Then why are you blushing?"
He smirked, and you tried to hide your face in the sheets, but he wouldn't let you. He was still smirking, and you were getting angrier.
"I'm not-"
"Shh, love, you can't hide from me," he cooed, his fingers still pumping into you, stretching you out. Building up another climax.
"Eli-fuck," You gasped, the pleasure building.
"That's it, let me hear those pretty sounds," He whispered, his voice husky.
He was still fully clothed, and he hadn't even touched himself, he was only focused on you.
He kept fucking his fingers into you, his thumb circling your clit, making sure every inch of your pussy was being stimulated.
Your body was trembling, and you could feel yourself getting close again, you pushed your heels into the bed, trying to get away, but he didn't stop, he just kept going, his pace relentless.
"I can't- oh fuck-," You gasped, arching your back as the orgasm crashed over you. Your wetness soaked his hand and the bed below.
Elijah pulled his fingers out, bringing them up to his mouth and licking them clean. Then he kissed you, his tongue pushing past your lips, tasting all of you.
You tried to glare at him, but he was now kissing your neck, his free hand moving down to cup your breast, teasing your nipples.
"I'm still mad at you," You panted, trying not to moan.
"I know," He smirked, "And I'm not finished with you."
He grabbed your thighs, spreading your legs, and settled between them, his eyes roaming over your body.
"Such a pretty thing," He murmured, tracing patterns on your skin.
He took ahold of your waist, pulling you towards him, and began to grind against your wet pussy, making you whimper.
"You're so sensitive, baby," He cooed, his lips brushing over your collarbone.
You could feel his erection straining against his pants, and you could tell he was enjoying this just as much as you were. He undid his belt, pulling it out of the loops, and tossing it to the floor.
He pulled your arms above your head, his hand gripping your wrists. He unzipped his pants and took his cock out, pressing it against your entrance.
"You're already soaked for me," He whispered, kissing you deeply.
You moaned into the kiss, and he pushed his cock into you, making you whimper. He was so thick, and his length filled you completely, making your body tremble.
He began to thrust into you, his pace steady, and he buried his face in the crook of your neck, his lips grazing over your skin.
"I'm not a toy," You managed to say, your voice strained.
"No, you're not, you're mine," He growled, his hips slamming into yours, his cock hitting all the right spots.
"Fuck," You gasped, arching your back.
His grip on your wrists tightened, and he spread your legs even wider. He grinded his hips slowly, wanting to draw out your pleasure for as long as possible.
You could feel the pressure building, and it was becoming harder to concentrate, all you could focus on was his cock, his weight on top of you, the way he was looking at you.
"Say it," He growled, his hips moving faster now. "Tell me you're mine."
"I'm yours," You moaned, your voice cracking, your resolve breaking with every deep stroke.
The sound of his cock sliding in and out of your pussy filled the room, mixed with your moans and gasps, and the way the bed was creaking. He knew you were close, he could feel your muscles starting to clench around him.
"No no stubborn one, you don't get to cum yet," He growled, nipping at your ear.
He wrapped your legs around his waist, pinning you to the bed. His pace increased and he leaned in to kiss you.
"Come on darling, give in, admit I'm right," He whispered.
"Eli, please," You moaned, your fingers gripping his shirt.
"All you have to do is submit," He cooed, pressing his lips to yours.
You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to resist the urge to give in, but it was so intense and his pace was relentless. He wasn't going to stop, not until you broke.
"Look at the way you open up for me," He said, his voice husky as he grinded against you. "Your needy little pussy, milking my cock, begging to be filled."
You looked down at where his cock was buried inside of you, moving in and out of your pussy. You could see how wet you were, covering his pants and your thighs, making a mess of the sheets.
"Hmm, you like that? Seeing how wet you are, all for me," He whispered, leaning down to kiss you. "Just admit that you are stubborn, and we can cum together."
Your whole body was shaking, your orgasm so close, but you fought it, squeezing your thighs together, trying to close your legs, but he wouldn't let you.
You gave up, you didn't care about the fight anymore, you just wanted to cum, you just wanted him to stop torturing you. You couldn't think straight, everything was too much, his thrusts were deep and hard, his cock was filling you, stretching you out, he knew just how to fuck you.
You couldn't hold back anymore and you finally gave in, submitting to him. "You're right," you gasped, your voice barely audible. "Please, Eli, fuck, I'm sorry, just let me cum."
"Good girl," He groaned, leaning back and spreading your thighs wide, pounding into you. He began to stroke your clit with his thumb, drawing circles, as his hips snapped hard and fast.
It was all too much, and you felt an intense release, your body convulsing, your wetness soaking him, making a mess of the clothes he was still wearing and the bed.
He chuckled, watching your cheeks flush in embarrassment as he fucked you through it. He made you squirt all over him, submitting to him completely.
You were still trembling, trying to catch your breath, you couldn't focus, your whole body was tingling with pleasure, you felt like you were floating.
He kissed you deeply, pressing his body to yours before he let out a low groan and came inside you, his cock twitching. You shuddered, your pussy still sensitive, but he didn't stop, he continued moving his hips slowly.
You could feel the warmth of his cum filling you, his cock throbbing, his breathing uneven. He kissed you softly and slowly, his fingers brushing over your cheek, caressing your face as he pulled out of you.
Now that you had come down from your high, you felt a mixture of frustration and humiliation. You tried to move, but he held you there, a devilish grin plastered on his face.
He shifted onto his back, pulling you on top of him. You straddled him, your body on top of his, your chest pressing against his chest.
"I love you," he whispered, pulling you in for another kiss.
"Eli," you muttered, burying your face in his chest. You couldn't believe he had fucked you in that way, and now he was saying the three words you wanted to hear the most. He was so perfect and so infuriating at the same time. You were angry that he was able to make you give in so easily, but it was worth it. It had never felt so good.
"I love you too, asshole," you replied, making him laugh.
He kissed you once more before wrapping his arms around you, pulling you closer to him. His hands rested on your lower back, tracing lazy circles.
"I'm sorry for being protective, it's not because I don't trust you, it's because I'm afraid of losing you," he said quietly.
"I know, and I'm sorry for saying that you're a control freak," you apologized.
"No you're not," He smirked, kissing you again.
"I'm getting there," you sighed.
He laughed, tracing the curve of your hips with his fingertips. You could feel him harden underneath you, and it turned you on again. And you slowly ground your hips against his, teasing him.
His eyes grew dark, and he placed his hands on your ass, squeezing firmly. "Darling, don't," He said warningly, his voice strained.
You ignored him, rolling your hips, grinding into his lap, you wanted more.
"Don't be so stubborn Eli-,"
You were on your back before you could finish your sentence, your legs spread, his lips on yours.
You were definitely going to fight with him more often…
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