#having wants and desires sucks

[skeleton-monarch]

hm. that realization always fucks me up. forgot about this part. i feel sick

[box-dwelling]

Baldurs gate 3 is very funny in that it brings together a group of people who under most circumstances would consider themselves a found family but just so happens to have populated the group with soley people who would be vehemently against calling it that

[shokveyv]

shut up

[diroxide]

I’ve been working on this off and on… crazy bastard alert!!!!

[trans-leek-cookie]

chewing on my hands no curly did not need to fucking murder jimmy to protect Anya. He wouldn't, not Just because of the fact murder even in self defense is deeply distressing and therefore. Y'know a last resort (and Jimmy is his friend. I am curious how long Jimmy's weird resentment has existed and if it was ever obvious before the events of the game but I'm getting off track) but also. Anya LITERALLY SAYS "I have to believe our worst moments don't make us monsters" like I'm not saying she's at all okay w what jimmy did but like!!!

She's VERY OBVIOUSLY conflicted and coping! She DOESNT want him dead (well maybe she does but I don't think it's something she thinks would actually be an easy fix. She doesn't want it Logically bc the situation is. Y'know it's a spaceship w 5 ppl and he's the fuckin co pilot)

CURLY COULDVE STILL DONE MORE AND HANDLED THE SITUATION BETTER!!! Personal opinion he didn't realize it was SA and/or didn't realize how traumatic it was for Anya until she brought up pregnancy and its a mix of genuine and willful ignorance (which Logically Makes Sense but is still not an excuse) but like. He says himself she doesn't get psych evaluations!

Murder is not an easy solution! Some survivors/victims want their abusers to die and that's its own discussion, but even beyond morality and ethics: thats 20% of the fucking staff on this stupid ship!

There's a longer post to be made about the fact capitalism is the ultimate enabler of these issues and dynamics, because the combination of isolation, small crew size, complete abscence of support, disregard for employee safety and physical danger all contributed to the fact this Could Happen and the fact this Is Such A Fucking Hard Situation even if you always prioritize the victim bc. Anya's safety is threatened either way- letting Jimmy do Whatever is obviously dangerous, but also HES THE CO PILOT! The events of the game are literally an example of why you NEED A CO PILOT (though in game he's fucking. Shit at his job which y'know) because you need redundancies to make sure you arent Completely reliant on one person (like. Imagine if Anya got seriously injured. There goes the medical staff. Maybe the others have basic training but Jesus Christ being the ONLY medical expert on staff. And even then iirc she's a nurse which not to downplay the work that goes into that but it is fundamentally one of MULTIPLE medical jobs and only having A Nurse is. FOR OVER A YEAR OF TRAVEL GOOD LORD THIS IS A NIGHTMARE) anyways. Longer post by someone smarter Abt how even though jimmy is an awful person a lot of the harm he does is only possible bc of a combination of The Situation (isolation + small group) and His Power (social power as a man over the One Woman and power as the second in command)

This post got away from me bc this game makes me think a lot but what I actually wanted to say is: Curly could have done more by being more present for Anya and being more Aware of Jimmy's actions (and intervening to make sure he isn't able to interact with Anya in isolated settings). Like I also think straight up murder isn't an ideal solution but like. There's a lot of fucking THINGS YOU CAN DO TO SUPPORT VICTIMS THAT ARENT MURDER

In the end I think it's a consequence of basing the approach on punishing the aggressor rather than supporting the victim, because like. It's less important to Kill Jimmy (no matter how much you want to) and way more important to KEEP ANYA SAFE

[cluescorner]

Arlecchino's whole deal is unbelievable

Arlecchino: Huh I wonder what's causing my weird powers? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta become King and then kill my "Mother".

*Kills Clervie and "Mother"*

Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I was able to defeat a Fatui Harbinger when I'm like 17 or so? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta be in jail and become a Harbinger.

*Is in jail for a while and becomes a Harbinger*

Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I am-

Pierro: Hey what's up hello, anyways you're descended from the Crimson Moon Dynasty of Khaenri'ah. I'm sure that this is a lot for you to take in so-

Arlecchino: Ok.

Pierro: ...You're just cool with that?

Arlecchino: IDK maybe? I can't really worry about that at the moment, I'm a father now. This orphanage full of children I love (who also are child soldiers and are not allowed to leave or else I'll execute them except maybe now I'm just gonna wipe their memories IDK I'm morally complex) isn't gonna run itself.

*Runs the orphanage/spy recruitment initiative*

Me, the fucking player: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE KHAENRI'AN? WHY WASN'T THIS BROUGHT UP IN YOUR FUCKING QUEST?? OR ANYTHING ELSE????

Arlecchino, talking to me through my phone: I honestly don't know why you care, I'm too busy to give a shit. Anyways, I'm gonna go fight fate itself I guess. I'm sure that I don't share any thematic parallels with any other Khaenri'an characters (particularly as it relates to acting and family angst) and that I haven't made the idea of 'curses' on Khaenri'ans and what they entail even more complicated than they already were. See ya.

[rapidhighway]

venting like an idiot

the main reason i dont wanna go back to uni is that i feel like i've completely embarrassed myself last year. idk, i feel horrified at the thought of returning and looking these people in the eye. i didn't do anything, i was lazy and barely finished my projects and the only way to redeem myself somehow would be to come back with some new energy and work hard. i didn't even really get a job this summer because i really wanted to rest, cause i thought i would drop out. and i just feel worse, i feel even more tired

[dapper-lil-arts]

my friends thought i shipped pinkiedash for literal months until I reblogged a ton of twipie art. When I asked why in the world they thought I shipped pinkiedash, I realized. My two pony dolls of pinkie pie and rainbow Dash (currently sitting on my work desk) had their muzzles touching. They thought I was making them kiss. I've since banished them to two separate corners of my desk

eh thats just common courtesy of pony dolls, youve gotta make them kiss regardless. Also funny, why would they think one ship stops the other? people multiship all the time Also funny that you went nohomo and separated them

[commanderfreddy]

people are discoursing about the laios and shiro fight bc that was always going to happen but i do hope that wave crests quickly and we can all come to see it as what it is: literally one of the best written fights between two people who are both entirely justified in their actions and acting without any malice or cruelty of all time

[ataykiri]

Our stay on this earth is so so short, we’re in such a dream state that we keep forgetting this truth

[deliciousdietdrpepper]

Something painful I’ve realized about POTs is that it’s alienating. Specifically, when everyone else has a head full of thoughts, when in a episode, it’s as if when I talk to them I’m not there. Mental connections are few and far between, and when in an episode, I might say things and voice insecurities that I otherwise wouldn’t. So when I’m in that position, I just don’t talk to people anymore. In a group, everyone will continue talking, but because it takes so long to piece what I’m truly thinking together, and so much effort to say it, I won’t bring up my thoughts or opinions—and that’s Bad! For relationships! I’ve realized that I have an unhealthy well of jealousy for people who are able to connect to each other—the able-bodied and able-minded. It’s not kind, and it’s not sustainable. Yet, I have to continue living with this condition. No option there. No cure, just a million little micro-adjustments in the hope that they bring me closer to myself and others. A gallon of water, testosterone, adhd medication, blood pressure medication—none of it separates me completely from the struggle to think and speak and move. I’m divorced from my own intelligence and intuition.

At the end of the day, I’m responsible for the insecurities I bring to the table, and those are formed within a situation outside of my control, and so unique that it doesn’t relate with the majority of people. Built in neurosis. Maybe this is why disabled voices are so important. I don’t know anyone in my own life who struggles to participate the same way I do, or if they do, their struggle is as invisible to me as mine is to them.

[snowstories]

Weighing in on the debate “Are you allowed to ship aromantic characters?” As an aromantic person, this is a difficult subject. On the one hand, we have characters who clearly and repeatedly state that they hate romance, do not feel romantic attraction, and don’t want to be in a relationship. On the other hand, we have your personal inability to engage with deep relationships without making them romantic. As a compromise, I say people are allowed to ship canon aromantic characters, provided they pay me at least $100 in cash for the license.

[werebutch]

Dude I need to be someone else

[kuromi-hoemie]

trying to figure out if i actually like sex or i just like everything else about it. do u know what i mean..? it's hard to put into words

[robinmage]

lines i think about way too often

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

I've been looking for this one au where Len basically becomes a mad scientist and turns his friends into robots one by one for a while now, and I'm beginning to realize that I just read through your blog while half asleep a few months back and mixed together my memories of your flower hivemind and composite au

this is very funny to me. i'm absolutely honored this blog's posts were enough to evil-farming-game an entire vocaloid au into your memories 😂

i can give you this doodle; it's composite au but i'm sure it'd fit very well with this theoretical mad scientist len au lololl