#i was at the hotel with scott like an hour later sobbing and having an existential crisis about my relationship to gender

[andydrysdalerogers]

Sliding Into Home ~ The Future is West

Pairing: MLB!Frank Adler x Abigail Hernandez (OFC)

Synopsis:

After a trade from Boston to Los Angeles, first baseman Frank Adler would seem to have it all. Money, women, an amazing niece, yes Frank should have it all. Except for one thing. One thing that left after a mistake five years ago. Los Angeles should be the chance to start over. Except she is supposed to be in Boston. Not his new medical director.

* A Frank Adler AU x Major League Baseball Story**

Warning: ANGST (i can't stress this enough), second chances, cheating, eventual smut, slow burn, drug use, abandonment issues, betrayal, domestic violence (i may have missed some), flashbacks

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

Previous: It Doesn’t Stay in Vegas

Main Masterlist ~Sliding Into Home Masterlist

“Mary please!” 

“No!” 

“C’mon Nugget, we have to go.”  

“NO! I don’t want to leave.” Sobs echoed through the door of the bathroom. 

Frank groaned and hit his head on the door frame. The decision to move was not taken lightly but it was decided. “Mary, c’mon, please? I know it’ll be tough but it’s a new adventure.”  

The silence now coming from the bathroom is louder than the screaming.  Frank knew he would be lucky if she got in the car let alone leaving on time. He needed to finish packing up before the movers came but Mary refused to let him into the bathroom.  

“Still not letting you in?” Frank turned to see his nanny, Scott, leaning on the hallway, popping his gum.  

“No.” 

“Told ya.”  

“Yeah, I know. I know.” Frank rubbed his temples. “The movers will be here in an hour, I need to finish and then get us to the hotel before our flight tomorrow and she is being just like...” 

“Your sister.”  Scott smiled.  “Let me handle this while you make sure the suitcases are in the car.  I brought some stuff to help us relax after she goes to bed.” Scott squeezed Frank’s shoulder.  “Its gonna be ok.”  

“Thanks Scott.”  Frank turned to leave him to it as he made his way to his bedroom.  Scott Evans had been a godsend since the day he turned up for his interview for the nanny position.  Mary took to him immediately and became a friend to Frank at a time when he had felt so lost.  Bonus points that Scott was a man as well, as a female nanny would have just made the situation worse. Frank was grateful that Scott was ok with relocating his life five years later to stay with him and Mary with their move to Los Angeles.  

Los Angeles. City of Angels, Hollywood, movie stars and his new team, the Dodgers.  

After five successful years with the Red Soxes, Los Angeles offered a monster of a deal. Ten years, $106 million dollars and a change that was needed. Frank talked to Steve, Scott and Andy, his now closest friends, and made the decision to move. He needed a fresh start, a chance to move on after the shit show five years earlier.  

He had heard that Abby had graduated from medical school last year. Well, he watched it from the shadows. He snuck in to watched the girl that he still loved accomplish her dream and graduate with top honors from Harvard University Medical School.  However much Abby’s parents hated Frank for what he had done to their little girl, Frank insisted on paying for her schooling, keeping a promise he had made to her when he was drafted.  He sent the money to her parents, and they made the payments.  

But she had moved on, taking a medical residency outside of Boston for work. He didn’t know where, so he took the time to move when he had the chance.  Maybe he could stop loving her, finally.  Maybe he could find happiness.  

He kept his promise to himself in that no other woman made a permanent place in their hearts. Sure, Frank kept the carnal needs to flings on the road, Friday night fucks away from home, away from Mary.  She didn’t need the instability.  She needed him to be present as she grew up. She was the only girl in his heart.  

Apart from Abby.   

He listened as Scott murmured to Mary, the door creak open and then Mary’s face peak into his room. Frank didn’t turn to face her, letting her get through her thoughts and emotions on her own, letting her decide when to speak. After a moment, she sniffled, and he turned. He watched as one solid tear ran down her cheek before he scooped her into his arms, and she cried. “I don’t want to leave.”  

“I know Nugget. But I got traded and I can’t leave you behind. I love you so much that I would never leave you behind.”  

She sobbed in his neck for a few more moments before he pulled her away. He inspected her blue eyes, eyes that had seen more than their fair share of heartbreak. “Is Scott going?” she asked again, needing to confirm that she was not losing everyone in her life. 

Frank nodded. “Scott is moving with us. We have a big house now near the beach.  There’s a room that has perfect light for my little artist with a balcony so she can set up her telescope and see the stars.”  

Mary sighed and leaned back into him. “Ok,” she whispered.  

“It's gonna be great, Nugget.  You’ll see. I got you into the science school for next year and we have a pool so we can keep up with swimming and you can try out for the team. I promise you; we’ll be great in Los Angeles.  Just you wait.”  

A few hours later saw Mary pass out in bed while Scott brought out the whiskey bottle.  He pours two fingers of the amber liquid and thrusted the tumbler into Frank’s hands.  “Ready to leave Boston?” 

“No.” Frank took a sip.  “I feel like if I leave, I am giving up.”  

“Giving up on what?” 

“Whatever love Abby and I could still have.”  

“She’s not even in Boston anymore.”  She hasn’t been since May the year before. Its August. Fifteen months later and it still hurt him that she was gone 

“I know. I understand it. But all of our memories are here.”  

Fifteen Years Earlier... 

Frank was sitting in chemistry class, doodling before class started. Mike was seated in the back, fucking teacher tried to seat everyone alphabetically but missed counted.  Now Frank sat alone at the front of the class.  The door opened but Frank didn’t acknowledge it.  The next thing he heard was the teacher saying, you can have a seat next to Mr. Alder.  His head snapped up as he saw a beautiful brunette walked towards him.  She had the blackest hair he had ever seen with the most beautiful curls.  As she walked closer, he couldn’t help but acknowledge her curves, but it was her eyes, deep brown with flecks of gold and green, that took him. 

She studied him for a moment.  “Hi. I’m Abby.”  

Frank swallowed.  “Hi, I’m Frank.”  

“Is this seat taken?”  She looked at his books spread out across the desk.  

“Shit, sorry.”  He gathered his stuff and stacked them in front of him.  She giggled as she sat. Once the teacher reviewed the syllabus for the semester of chemistry, she set a simple worksheet for each set of lab partners.  “So, I don’t think I’ve seen you in my classes before.”  

“Oh, probably not.”  She tucked a ringlet behind her ear.  “I’m a freshman but I tested out of freshman and sophomore science.”  

“Explains it. So you’re fourteen?” 

“Just turned.” She kept her gaze down.  

Frank studied her, noting the shyness in her face. “You look scared.”  

“Upper classmen intimidated me a little.” She finally looked up at him. He could tell that she wasn’t comfortable with her intelligence just yet. She was shy, lost in the whirlwind of being set up in an advanced class.  

“Well, stick with me and I’m make sure no one messes with you.”  

“Why wouldn’t anyone bother you?” 

“Because when you are a star athlete, no one messes with you.” Frank had just turned sixteen. A junior but the star first baseman for the school’s baseball team. He explained as much to her. “Friends with me and you’ll be going places.”  

“You know, you’re a little cocky for being sixteen.”  

“Have to be if I want to play professionally. So friends?” He stuck out his hand. 

She took it with a beautiful smile. “Friends.”  

Present... 

As Frank, Mary and Scott made their way to LA, Frank couldn’t help but reflect on the memory.  How stupid had he been to friend-zone himself that quickly. But, she had been a scared freshman, and chemistry was not the only upper-level class she been put in.  She also had Trigonometry and English 3 as well, and Frank happened to be in all of those classes as well.  

He had learned a lot about Abby.  She had come from a big family of immigrants. She would be the first to go to college, her aspirations to be a doctor.  

She made it, he thought as he studied the clouds in the sky. He did as well. He spent eight years with the Red Sox, the team he had cheered for as a boy. Moving away would be hard but a necessary change. He wanted to get away from all the bad memories he had there.  Between his fuck ups with Abby and the shit show his sister and mother had put him through over Mary, being in Los Angeles made the most sense.  

After landing, Frank found the car that the team sent to pick them up from the airport and take them to their new home. Frank had purchased new furniture so they wouldn’t have to ship all of their stuff from their old home.  He had kept the home in Boston for when they visited friends for breaks and holidays. Christmas in Boston would still be a must and he wanted to make sure that those traditions would be kept on track.  

The home was in Pacific Palisades, roughly an hour from the stadium but Frank wanted to have space away from the downtown area.  The ocean views and gated community made the decision but what sold Frank was the space Mary would have to be herself.  Her school was just a few minutes away, making it easy for Scott.  No, it wasn’t Boston, but they could make it a home.  

The next couple of days were filled with getting used to the area, finding their local grocery shops, restaurants, coffee shops and such, with the arrival of their things from the moving company.  It was mostly boxes of their things, clothes, Frank’s beloved 1968 Camero, but one thing that was most important.  It was the solid wood rocking chair from Mary’s room.  Frank couldn’t bare to part with it. He bought it to rock a six-month-old Mary to sleep, read her stories when she was older, hold her as she dealt with her emotions. It was the only heirloom they had. He immediately set it up in her room, placing her beloved penguin, Max, on it.  

On their fifth night in Los Angeles, Frank reminded Scott and Mary that he had a meeting with the team president, medical director and legal team, along with Andy and Steve, to sign his contract and fulfill his physical to start the season.  

“Why do they make you take a physical?” Mary asked, shoving a fry into her mouth.  

“To make sure I am healthy and in tip top shape,” Frank replied. “I should probably tell them I have a bad back from loading up your telescope into the truck. Thing weighs a ton.”  

“You bought it for me so that’s your own fault,” she sasses back, making Scott snort. “You should have made Scott carry it if you are too... delicate.”  

If Mary got anything from Frank, it was her ability to sass.  Frank was a smartass, from diapers according to his mother. Frank rolled his eyes as Scott roared with laughter. “Shut up,” he groaned. “On another subject, since we have to head into the city, do you know what is near the stadium?” 

“Parking lots?” 

“Seriously, stop,” he grumbled.  “No, we are close to that Funko store.”  

Mary’s eyes lit up. “Really?  Can we go?” 

Scott laughed, “I don’t know, you’ve been sassing him pretty hard there Nug.”  

“Please? Pretty please?” Mary used her one weapon at him: those damm blue eyes.  

“Fine, I guess,” Frank said with a sigh, hiding his smile. It was always his intention to take her. “Scott is going to take you to get breakfast and then a haircut while I am in my meeting and then we will go.”  

“Thank you, Frank!” She ran over to hug her uncle.  

“Welcome Nugget. Now finish up, you can read for an hour before bed.”  

The next morning, Frank was looking at a Los Angeles icon, Dodger Stadium.  It was his new home, his new team and hopefully his new life.  He asked a security guard where to go and was met at the door by an assistant.  She was a shameless flirt, commenting on Frank’s forearms and his tattoos, cooing about how good of a player he is.  There was zero chance of Frank being interested.  His Friday Night adventures were reserved for road trips only. His one-night stands worked out just fine, in his opinion.  

As he was guided into the conference room, Frank was met with the president of operations, Nick Stanton. “Mr. Stanton.” 

“Frank! Good to see you again.” He shakes hands with Frank. “We’re waiting for everyone so can I offer you a drink?” He gestures to Frank to sit at the table. 

“Just a cola, thanks.” Frank took the seat next to the head of the table.  

“How was the move?” 

“Smoother than I thought it would be. Mary, my niece, threw a couple of tantrums but between me and my nanny, we managed to get her here.”  

“Nanny?” 

“Oh yeah, Scott, he’s great. He was willing to move with us, which is great since Mary seems to only listen to him.” Frank chuckles. “Who would listen to your uncle/pseudo father?” 

“I remember that story,” Nick replies. “You are brave to take on a baby right after bring drafted.”  

Frank shrugged. “Its not that big of a deal. You would do anything for family, especially Mary.”  

More voices float towards the conference room and Frank stands as he sees his agent and lawyer walk in and shake his hand. Then the general manager for the Dodgers comes in, making small talk with Frank.  

“Ok, I think we are just missing the team doctor and our legal team,” Nick tells everyone. “Its not Natasha, she’s busy with another client.  She’s sending in their new associate.”  

Frank just nods as the GM goes over the training schedule and when he would meet the team.  The conference room door opens and another couple enters the room.  Frank turns to see and his stomach drops. He feels himself become clammy and pale. Because this shouldn’t be happening.  

He’s not supposed to be here.  

Fuck.  

He looks at the brunette that walked in with him.  

And she’s definitely not supposed to be here.  

What the FUCK! 

Abby Hernandez walked into the room.  

Holding Mike Weiss’s hand.  

Next

Taglist: @patzammit @firephotogrl74 @texmexdarling @slutforchrisjamalevans @jennmurawski13-writes @tinkerbelle67 @before-we-get-started @bunnyforhim

[iguessweallcrazyithinktho]

Missing Just Mama - Dad Chris Evans

You and Chris planned a weekend getaway and Scott volunteered to watch your 5 and 2 year old sons. They love uncle Scott so it wasn't a problem saying bye bye, but as the evening sky got darker the boys being mama's boys (just like their daddy) starts to miss their mom. Chris gets a notification on Instagram tagged by Scott, captioned 'Sorry brother, I think they love their Mama more than you. The little one is just crying because his big brother is 🙄' (1/2) In the video you can hear Scott lightly chuckling in the video asking "You miss mama? How about your daddy buddy?"and the boy answers through his mess of breathing "I, I, miss him too, but I miss mamaaaaaaa- 😭" I want to know how Chris would react to this. What will he comment? Will he FaceTime the boys? Will he be jealous 😂😂 (2/2) -💋Anon

Genre: fluff all around

Warning: crying, laughing, scott evans

author note: kids names are george & atlas

Pairing: Chris Evans x reader, dad! Chris Evans

Blog appropriate for all ages

Please don't post any of my content anywhere else without my permission.

Comment and reblogs welcome!

---

You rolled your luggage to the foyer for Chris to pick up when he re-entered the house. The both of you were going away for 4 days on a much needed vacation. No kids, no work, just the both of you together and having a good time.

While you both are away, Scott volunteer to take care of your two rascals. Of course they were happy about their favorite uncle taking care of them when you both aren't around. Gives them time to be more crazy.

"alright boys, me and daddy are going to go. Can I get a big hug and a kiss before I go?"

Both boys sat their toys down and speed to give you a hug. They nearly knocked you over but you held yourself up.

Chris returned from the car, seeing the moment. "Hey, where's my hug?" Boty boys pulled away and walked over to their dad, wrapping their arms around him. Chris picked both of them up, giving them both kisses on their cheeks which they hated.

"you two be good for Scott, don't do anything weird okay? I love you both." He gave them one last kiss on the cheek before sitting them down.

You both waved by to the boys and Scott before going to get in the car.

You buckled yourself in Turning to Chris, "you ready to go?" You said gleefully. Chris laughed as he started the car. "Never been more ready."

"alright then, let's go!"

----

You and Chris arrived in australia (who doesn't like australia? I had to do some geography to keep the time zone reasonable lol) Around roughly 10 hours. You both were long gone from boston and even though you both loved it being in australia was much fun.

While you and Chris were having fun, scott was having a hard time. It was around 8 30 at night and your son's where a mess, especially your youngest.

They missed you like crazy, the phone calls you had multiple times wasn't working at all. Your youngest son was sobbing and couldn't get over the fact that you were away from him. Scott found it hilarious and decided to make a video.

"george, why are you crying?" Scott asked the 4 year old who was currently crying against Scott's chest, "I miss mama." He let out a long, loud wail as he finished. Scott used everything in his power not to cry at the poor boy.

He turned the camera to Atlas who was standing beside them. He rolled his eyes at his brother before walking off to go play with toys.

Scott laughed, "they'll be back in 3 days, don't worry." Scott rubbed the poor bubs back trying to calm him. "Okay say bye."

george looked up at the camera, "no! I want mommy" Scott Laughed, "okay, okay." He ended the video, posted it on instagram with the caption.

Guess they only miss mommy. Sorry Chris.

Then he put the kids in bed. Chris got the notification a few seconds later. You both were out a dinner/lunch and he was hesitant to pick it up but you got a notification as well so the both of you looked.

Chris watched the video of your bubs missing you, it tore his hurt in a good way not Because they needed a hug, but because your bubs only missed you.

"how come they only miss you?" Chris asked looking up at you. You had a smirk on your face as you shrugged. "I don't know, maybe I'm the favorite." Chris sighed, playfully rolling his eyes.

He typed up a quick responses to the video before sitting his phone back down on the table.

"what did you say?" You asked taking his hand that was sitting on the table. Chris Chuckled, "I'm deeply hurt but not surprised. Who doesn't love you." Him referring to you made your face heat up. "That's a very good response."

Chris exhaled, "yeah, I'm still very hurt." You laughed, "I'm sorry honey."

Chris chuckled again, "it's fine. You know," Chris started, his voice at a whisper. "Maybe we can go back to the hotel and try for a girl."

Your mouth fell open. "Christopher." He laughed, "I'm joking..... Maybe but come on, just imagine a little girl running around."

You sighed softly. "That does sound nice. How about we enjoy our dinner/lunch and then think about that later."

Chris nodded, "good idea."

Chris was very hurt by his boys not missing him as much as they did you, but knowing he could maybe have a girl one day made it all better

--

@chris-butt @patzammit @bval-1 @@raveviolet @mrsbbarnesrogers-reading @enn-j @london-dreamer71 @harrysthiccthighss @captainamerica-is-bae @la-cey @weirdowithnobeardo @lovepeacefood @baby-i-am-fireproof @denisemarieangelina @evans713 @smyfmj @thereisa8ella @rororo06 @keiva1000 @ughitsnic @adriannajackson123 @marvelnaturalock @notyourtypicalrose @dummiesshort @onetwo3000 @hhiggs @katiew1973 @andreasworlsboring101 @skepticnovak @funfickgirl22 @hxnesthxneybee @henrythickcavill @melchills-j @franchesca-791 @moonlacebeam @hagarsays

[vannybarber]

The Prenup: Part Three

Summary: After four years of being together and finally being engaged, Chris wants you to sign a prenup.

Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: angst, swearing, chris getting his ass handed to him, a lot of pain.

Part One Part Two

After Chris' little sob moment, he got his shit together and went back to where his family was. There was no way he was going to get you back crying like a baby when he was at fault. He needed to fix this, but you had to be on board in order first

He sits back on the couch, his mother and siblings not even realizing he entered the room, for they were having their own squabble. Scott's voice being the loudest out of everyone of course.

He sees his phone and goes to grab it. Carly notices him and speaks up.

"Chris is there anywhere you think she could be? Any place you guys have gone that's sentimental or something?" She's trying her best, but it wasn't enough. For all Chris knew, you could've been in numerous places. Everywhere you went was special.

When you both aren't working, you're on an adventure after another. You both loved to explore and were the perfect partners for each other to do it. You guys had traveled everywhere.

"I have no idea. I really fucked up and I don't even know where to begin to fix this" he breathes out, voice wavering gradually at every word. "Why do I always do this?"

It's Lisa's turn to speak up. "Do what?"

"Why do I always sabotage everything good in my life? Specifically love. It's like whenever it gets too good to be true, I back away. This time, I decided to wait four years to mess this up."

"Chris," Shanna calls. "You have a good woman." She pauses. "A great woman. She has put up with your shit and gave up so much to be with you. That's exactly what you wanted. Someone to really prove their love for you and she did that. You cannot go back on that now."

"Look how that's going." Scott doesn't fail to add a snarky remark.

"Scott I'm not going to tell you again. Quit it." Lisa barks and pops the back of his head. Scott goes silent.

"Okay but what if I messed up for good this time?" He looks up and straight at Shanna. "I have never seen her like this. I don't think anyone has ever hurt her this bad before." And he was right. You'd never experienced this much emotional pain before and the love of your life is to blame.

"Well you don't know that unless you find out. You can't just sit around here and feel sorry for yourself because believe it or not, you have no reason to." Shanna is completely right. Now it was up to Chris. But first he needed to figure out where you were.

He grabs his phone and goes to your contact. He finds you and clicks. All your info pops up and he debates on whether he should call or message. As he's deciding, his eyes wander lower to the location box. He sees your icon on the map.

His mouth opens, but nothing leaves it. Your location was on. It had been on the entire freaking time.

"Chris what's wrong?" Lisa walks over and the kids perk up.

"Y/N's location has been on all this time. I can see where she is now!" He clicks your icon and waits for it to load. A little hope has risen inside of him. One step closer.

"Well this is good. Now you can go to her. I just hope she doesn't want to kill you when she sees you." Shanna scratches the back of her neck because she knows what you're capable of.

Last year, your sister's boyfriend was messing around with your cousin's girlfriend and it got exposed at the dinner table infront of everyone.

Chris and his family had been invited and everything was going great. But then one of your other cousins decided to start some mess and pointed out how it was so strange that they were so close and always hung out together. They weren't wrong either.

Turns out they've been hooking up behind their backs for a while and all hell broke loose. Your sister and cousin are both very sensitive people. Their feelings get hurt fast and this absolutely tore them to pieces. That pissed you off and you went straight for the girlfriend. Then you went for the boyfriend but only got a kick to the spleen before Chris snatched you up.

She went to the hospital with a broken nose and dislocated jaw. The boyfriend had pain in his spleen for weeks on end. You apologized to the Evans' for your riveting hospitality, but Scott backed you up and stated that 'you did what you had to do'.

From that day forward, they did not get on your bad side. But you'd never hurt them. You had a great relationship with all of them. Something rare with in-laws. But not the Evans'.

Your location finally loaded and you were pinned at the Liberty, almost an hour from where you guys lived. Chris didn't even need to ask himself why you were so far away. He knew why.

"Okay I found her. She's at a hotel about about an hour away. Who knows what she'll do next, so I need to go right now." He moves to get his jacket and shoes. Slipping them on he grabs his keys and heads out the door, yelling an 'I'll be back soon' just before closing it.

Pregnant, tired, once again and alone. This should not be the case. You should be at home with your fianceé discussing how you'd break the news to your families about your new addition. But instead, there you are eating Domino's and binge watching the first and only season of a new show you found to get your mind off of things.

Its about a district attorney who's son had been found as a suspect for the murder of his schoolmate. What didn't help was the fact that the father, Andy Barber, looked almost identical to Chris. And the way Andy would interact with his son had you thinking about how he would react to your little surprise.

Would he be happy? Would it be too much for him? Seeing that you guys had just now got engaged after 4 years, you didn't see him too excited to add a baby in just yet. You hadn't even gotten married. Not to mention you just pushed that off the table.

You got your mind racing again, so you turned off the show and just sat quietly, succumbing to your thoughts. First, you guys needed to solve your problem before you tell him anything of the current events. Should you call him and tell him to come over? How were you gonna approach him?

Staying mad was off the table as soon as you saw the pregnancy results. You had to be mature for your new family. That meant pushing aside your anger and solving this prenup issue. Then you'd tell him about the baby. You just needed the chance.

And your chance had arrived when Chris pulled up to the parking lot of the hotel. Your icon was still at the location. He rushed to get out and inside, heading to the front desk.

"Hi! Is a Y/N Y/LN checked in here?" His fingers tap the counter in anticipation. The clerk is taken aback but checks the computer infront of him anyway.

"Uh, no sir there isn't anyone here by that name." The clerk shook his head and looked back up at him. Chris sighs and thinks. An idea comes to his head. It doesn't sound reasonable, but he had to at least try it.

"Okay um..how about a Y/N Evans?" The clerk looks back at the computer and types.

"Yes! There's a Y/N Evans in room 263 on the 3rd floor." Chris' heart leaped. You used his last name. After all that went down, you still went by his last name. He was gaining hope by the minute.

"She's my fianceé. Is there a way I could have a key to her room? It's super important" he begged.

"Well we're not allowed to give room keys out randomly. It's policy. But I could call up to confirm with Ms. Evans, if you'd like?" Chris accepted the offer, but not before correctly the clerk to calling you Mrs. Evans.

You jump slightly when you hear the phone ring. You stretch your arm and pick it up from the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Hi Mrs Evans! I have a-"

There was a pause before he continued,

"Mr. Evans down here at the lobby that wants to see you. Should I send him up?"

You swear in that exact moment all the saliva in your mouth dried up and your mouth was sealed shut. He had found you and and wanted to see you. But how? Anyways, you had to face him sooner or later. You freaking live together and you can't stay at that hotel forever.

"Mrs. Evans? Are you alright?" You snap out of your immobile state and clear your throat.

"Um..yes. You can send him up." You scold yourself for not putting up a bigger fight. But what for? It would only make shit worse than it already was.

"Alright ma'am. He'll be up shortly."

"Okay thank you." You quickly slam the phone on the receiver and let your body hit the mattress. Well, there's no turning back now.

You don't know how long you were laying there, but it couldn't have been long because you heard a knock at the door. You shoot up and stare at it.

Another knock.

"Y/N?"

You move your body towards the door taking a deep breath. You can do this Y/N. Get it together. This is Chris for goodness sake.

You turn the knob and pull the door back, Chris coming into view staring right back at you.

"Hi baby."

pls- this dramatic ass ending 😭 this was gonna be the last part, but dialogue/ just kept coming at me as I was writing 🥴.

tags:

@flattykawa1 @mayafatimakhan @attitude-times @shawn-youth @traceyaudette @fantasticinternetpizza @kyraroseficreblogs33 @radi0active-thoughts @youthought-iwasa-nicegirl @ohbarracuda @katelyneannxo @jennamarieee623 @nicochantez @craycraycraic @ilikeurdad @ppal3 @captainson-of-coul @joanne-stan @ilovetheeagles @cristinagronk16 @kelbabyblue @onyourgoddamnleft @jessycatth @misz-adrii @geminievans1 @saltyflowermakertaco @a-moment-captured @harrysthiccthighss @greatbatprofessordragon @dauntless2022 @f12sfm @allboutdatmarvel @ineedpineapple @illyrianprincess @ladycumberbatchofcamelot @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss @rubyztimetobeme @marianas-studyblr @icycheerleader @obliviatevamps @thevelvetseries @coffeebooksandfandom @shamelessfangirl-3 @quietmyfearswith @jennmurawaski13 @kissme-hs @lvgllre @secretmysteriousperson @arabescapr

[feelingfredly]

The Hunting of the Snark...  I Mean Spark

Part 1 of What I Tell You Three Times Is True

Peter listened as the water stopped and various cabinets in his bathroom were opened and closed and waited for his guest to reappear. Stiles, scrubbed red from the shower, walked into the room rubbing viciously at his hair with a towel. The fragrance of borrowed shampoo clung to him even more tightly than the damp fabric of Peter’s bathrobe and seeing the young man like that, covered head to toe in Peter’s things, in Peter’s scent, caused his wolf to lift its head and rumble in satisfaction, even if the reason the boy was in his den was less than optimal.

“Three times, Peter.” Frustration sharpened Stiles’s voice, pulling the man’s attention back from his wolf’s wanderings. “You know what that means.”

Peter knew. One is an incident, two is a coincidence, three's a pattern, and four is enough for a warrant. Not that they could get a warrant, even if they did end up with a fourth victim. It didn’t matter to Stiles, though. He, like his father, was a cop at heart—protect and serve was etched in their bones. Usually, Stiles also had a streak of ruthless practicality that balanced that idealism out, but this time was different. Peter hoped it didn’t come back to bite him in the ass.

“Proving the pattern to the rest of the pack is going to be… difficult.”

Amber eyes rolled and Peter smothered a smile.  It still surprised him how much pleasure Stiles’s snark generated in him.  Like calling to like.

“Tell me something I don’t know.” Stiles flung his towel at the hamper and missed. From four feet away. Peter shook his head. How the boy had survived this long in a world full of predators was truly a mystery. “Lydia will believe me. Probably.  And Danny.  But…”

“But they’re not wolves.” Peter nodded and leaned back in his chair. “They aren’t the ones who’re going to want to believe it’s possible in the first place.”

Stiles walked to the corner of the desk that dominated the office and propped one hip on it, everything about his posture telegraphing his irritation with the situation.

“Scott’s going to think I’m crazy—literally—and he’ll suspect anything coming from you because you’re clearly still trying to manipulate him.” His lip curled a fraction and Peter wasn’t sure if it was the beginning of a smile or a snarl. “That means we’re going to have to go at the problem sideways, again, because as much as I’d like to say he wouldn’t go there again, I’m sure you’re with me on the Never Going Back to Eichen bandwagon.”

Peter gave his own eyeroll at that. “Our True Alpha does have a limited repertoire of responses, and you’re right, Eichen House is not on my list of spa retreat destinations. My question for you is simply: since we know he won’t listen to reason, why bother trying to convince him? It isn’t as if the people Hengstrom is using aren’t willing. If Scott wants to throw in with the crazy mage, why not let him?”

Stiles shifted his weight, swinging a lean leg absently. “I guess it’s the lying that gets me, because I don’t believe he doesn’t know exactly what his miracle cure does. You can’t wield that kind of magic if you don’t understand it intimately. That leaves two options,” he held up one long finger. “One, he’s leaving details out because he doesn’t think they’re important—which would be stupidly shortsighted—or two,” he held up a second finger, “he knows the details are important and he’s not telling people on purpose, which leads to another whole line of questions about why he’s keeping them secret and what he’s getting out of the de-wolfing process that’s so important that he doesn’t want to risk scaring his victims away.”

Peter nodded. When the mage arrived, he’d introduced himself to the local Alpha and had bemoaned the fact that Deaton wasn’t currently in residence because he wanted to share his new skill with the druid. Invoking the emissary’s name worked like magic—all puns intended—and the True Alpha had warmly welcomed the man to the territory and had immediately begun questioning him about this new and wonderful spellwork he’d invented.  Hengstrom had been hesitant to speak of it, saying he didn’t want to step on Deaton’s toes—but Scott reacted the way he always did when there was something new and shiny that he wanted: he poked and prodded and wheedled and insisted until the mage caved and laid out the framework of what he called his “life’s achievement.”

It was delicate work and Peter had been impressed with Hengstrom’s ability to play the young Alpha right up until he uttered the phrase “werewolf curse.” McCall’s spine had stiffened and red crawled up his neck as he ducked his head and looked away, shame and self-loathing oozing from every pore.  Every wolf in the room stiffened, feeling the negativity of their leader through the pack bonds, and Peter was no different.  His gums itched and his fingers ached, claws and fangs closer to the surface than they should be, and he knew his wolf was feeling threatened in a way that born wolves weren’t supposed to feel.

The mage promised Scott, and any other bitten wolves that were interested, the chance to be human again, and he knew immediately what the True Alpha’s reaction was going to be. Hell, anyone with a braincell that had known the boy for more than two seconds knew what he was going to do.  He never even paused to think how giving up his wolf would affect the rest of the pack.  No, McCall was consistent—he wanted what he wanted and screw anyone that might get in the way of him getting it.

He did, at least, ask a few questions and the mage passed his minimalist lie detector test—Yes, he’d performed the rite dozens of times. The rite had 100% efficacy. All the people he helped went back to their human lives with nary a trace of wolf left in them. Here’s an oddly convenient list; call them if you want to.—And then the idiot didn’t think, didn’t pause, didn’t hesitate for a minute, he simply reached out and swept the mage into the biggest hug Beacon Hills had ever seen, and then had run off to tell Kira the good news.

Stiles and Peter watched the interview silently, doubt clear on both of their faces, but once their Alpha had made his approval clear, Stiles shook the man’s hand briefly, took the list of “cured” that was proffered, and directed the mage to the hotel in town that the pack had an arrangement with.

Then Stiles went to work.

It took the Spark six hours to contact most of the people on the list, but there were a few he hadn’t been able to get through to.  Finally, one number that had been calling incessantly—his magic nagging at him that it was important—picked up and the tearful woman on the other end informed him that yes, her husband, Oscar, had undergone Hengstrom’s procedure and had been thrilled with the results.  Unfortunately, he’d died a few months later. They hadn’t been able to determine a cause of death—he simply didn’t wake up one morning. It was possible that the procedure had been hard on his heart or something, but no one could really say. She was sorry she couldn’t be more help.

After another six hours he’d found two more people who’d had their wolves removed who had mysteriously fallen ill afterwards.  One was currently in a coma, and the other had been committed to a mental institution after having attempted to kill his family, the whole time screaming for them to kill him, please kill him. That he couldn’t stop it.  It wouldn’t let him.

That report reminded Stiles too much of his possession by the Nogitsune; he and Peter were on a plane the next morning.  Three hours and several Jedi mind tricks after landing, they’d gotten to visit the last victim… and the minor demon that was squatting in his soul. Peter had struggled with seeing the man strapped to his bed, flashbacks of his own time imprisoned in a similar bed with nothing free to move but his head setting his teeth on edge, and Stiles… well, the Spark had his own fight to fight. His spark hovered just beneath his skin, setting the boy almost aglow, and while his wolf was used to the temptation, the demon was immediately overwhelmed with hunger.

The body on the bed strained and lurched against its bindings as they listened to it rave about how Stiles was perfect, how the fire under his skin was nice but the darkness around his heart was beautiful and infinite and vicious, how he had a demon-shaped hole in his soul that just cried out to be filled.  Stiles waited as every word left a wound behind, and Peter could smell the blood on him as he bit his lips to remain silent. Finally, the demon released its host deciding that it was worth giving up the body it had for the chance of controlling the power of a Spark. Peter sucked in a breath, terrified that they wouldn’t make it out of the hospital without a demonic stowaway, but then his impossible, incredible boy burned the creature out of existence in the flash of an eye before it could jump bodies. He listened as Stiles’s breath caught on a silent sob in his throat, and Peter ached to gather the bowstring-taut Spark into his arms and tell him that yes he was perfect, that the demon had no idea how beautiful his darkness truly was because he used it to defend the ones he loved, that if there was a hole in his soul Peter would crawl into it and fill it and wrap him up in protective arms, keeping him close, and safe, and his… but he knew that all it would take would be one uninvited touch and Stiles would shatter, so he kept his hands to himself, and bided his time.

A moment later the victim woke from his possession in grateful tears, but when Stiles explained that he couldn’t repair the holes in the man’s spirit that had allowed the demon to take up residence in the first place, he insisted they leave him in the hospital, that it was where he wanted to stay, where he needed to stay. He’d do anything to protect his family from going through that nightmare again.

Stiles told him that evening that he suspected the man wouldn’t be around long enough to regret that decision; his life force was already leaking out through the holes in his aura. Listening to the Spark whimper in his sleep as he thrashed on the hotel bed that night, Peter knew Stiles would regret the decision enough for the both of them.

One good thing came out of the whole nightmare. After explaining what had happened to her husband, the last victim’s wife was more than willing to answer their questions, and she was much more expansive than the mage. She told them that Hengstrom only pursued weres that had been changed within the past five years, claiming that anyone that had been a werewolf longer than that wouldn’t ever be able to truly erase the behaviors they’d learned. He’d asked other questions—where her husband fit in the pack hierarchy, how he’d been turned, whether his wife was a wolf—before agreeing to remove her husband’s wolf, but that the one thing that seemed most important to him was whether they were going leave the territory after the procedure.  He implied that continuing contact with the members of the pack would hinder her husband’s healing process.  He said that her husband’s scent would change, and the other wolves wouldn’t be able to trust him anymore and that it would be safer for everyone if they cut ties completely, but he’d also said that any exposure to the supernatural would make it harder for her husband to transition back to his human life. She hadn’t questioned it at the time, but it had made the whole situation more difficult when he’d started showing signs of deterioration because she didn’t have the pack as a support system and since they didn’t have their emissary available to ask for advice.

Oh, and their emissary hadn’t been around when Hengstrom had arrived, either.

Stiles had looked at Peter at that point and quirked an eyebrow, an entire conversation in the tiny movement.  Who knew they would ever actually be sorry that Alan Deaton wasn’t around?

Stiles stopped swinging his leg suddenly. “Did Scott ever mention that Kira was a kitsune?”

Peter thought back over the conversation he’d witnessed and shook his head. “No. Hengstrom asked if he was mated to another wolf and Scott said no, but that was as far as it went.  Why?”

He paused and raised his eyes to the Spark’s as the penny dropped. Oh. Ohhh.

Scott was going to have a problem. Kira wasn’t a wolf, but she was a kitsune but more importantly—she was pack. The only thing McCall valued more than his own vaunted humanity was his mate, and after the youngest Argent died, he’d become even more protective of the little fox.

Stiles grinned, sharp and vulpine, clearly ready to hunt. “I think we need to have a little chat with our Alpha’s mate.”

Peter grinned back letting his own fangs drop a fraction and resting a heavy hand on Stiles’s knee. “You know, sweetheart, I think you’re right.”

***

 Kira wasn’t alone when they got there, but it could have been worse.  Ms. Yukimura wasn’t a fan of Stiles’s—she still saw too much of Void in him to ever be comfortable—but she would listen more than Scott would, so Peter considered it a win.

“And you destroyed the demon?  You’re positive?” She lifted a delicate hand and poured another cup of tea.  If Peter hadn’t been watching so closely, he’d have missed the fractional tightening of muscles in her fingers.

“As positive as I can be,” Stiles replied. “I know it isn’t in Peter, and I know it wasn’t in Mr. Anderson when we left him.  If you’d be so kind as to make sure I haven’t brought him along with me, I would be… grateful.”

It cost the boy something to make the request, but when the older woman’s eyes settled on him and she nodded once, the silent stress that had been hiding in his spine melted away and Peter could almost feel a sigh of relief pass over him.

“There is nothing… new in your aura, Spark,” she said with a dip of her head, and Peter had to fight back a growl at the cautionary phrasing and silent implication that there was something extra in his aura already, but that was a fight for another day. “The demon must, then, have truly been vanquished. Your skill has grown. I congratulate you.”

Stiles forced himself to dip his head in acceptance.  His skills had grown through necessity, and so much of that necessity could be laid at this woman’s feet.  It was amazing that he was even able to stay in the same room. Peter wasn’t sure he could have.

“I am simply sorry that I wasn’t able to do more for Mr. Anderson.  As I said, the procedure that Hengstrom subjected him to has left his spirit shredded.  He will die; it’s just a matter of how long it will take.”

Kira twisted her hands in her lap. “You’re sure?  There isn’t anything else that could’ve caused the damage?”

Stiles shook his head. “I’m sorry, Kira, but you know I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t sure.  I know how much this means to Scotty, and yeah, him giving up his wolf would throw the pack into chaos, but we’ve dealt with chaos before and survived.  I wouldn’t take this chance away from him on a hunch.  The problem is that because of the chaos we’ve been through,” he threw a hard glance at the elder kitsune, “Scott doesn’t trust my judgment. He thinks I’m paranoid.” He let out a bark of laughter. “He isn’t wrong.  But neither am I about this.”

Kira pushed her hair behind her ear and sighed. “I believe you.  I was talking to mom before you came about how something about this just felt off.  Hearing you explain what you’ve found just makes that feeling stronger.”

Peter sat back and crossed his legs. “So, how do we make your husband listen to the truth?”

Kira quirked a lip and tilted her chin to one side, her inner fox clear and sharp. “The way I see it, the only way he’s going to believe it is if it comes from Hengstrom himself.”

Stiles’s whole body stilled, his normal state of constant movement frozen. “I like where you’re going with this, but it’s going to be tricky.”

Kira looked at her mother and they both smiled their trickster-kitsune smiles. “Leave that to us.”

***

In the end, it was surprisingly simple.  Painful, but simple.

“You should let him try this on Peter, first.” Stiles said, innocence personified.

Scott perked up. “On Peter? But he wouldn’t want to…” he swallowed what he’d been intending to say and turned to look at the mage. “Could you actually do that? Take the wolf from a born wolf?”

Hagen Hengstrom looked as Swedish as his name sounded.  Tall, blond, buff—he didn’t look like any of the mages Peter had ever met, but then Stiles himself didn’t look like them, either.  His blue eyes were pale and clear and there was something old and cold in them that Peter didn’t want to be close to, but he was bait, so, he stepped forward.

Hengstrom shook his head, one fist tightening minutely. “No.  Definitely not. There is nothing in him that isn’t infiltrated with wolf.  He’d go mad without it.”

Stiles snorted. “Like we’d be able to tell the difference.”

Scott looked surprised that he would say such a thing, but then laughed. “I suppose you’re right.  Not much to compare it to as far as sanity goes.”

Peter forced himself not to snarl at the boy and let Stiles go on.

“I mean, if the procedure is 100% effective…” he left the sentence hanging, and the mage stepped right into it.

“It is 100% effective,” he insisted, “it’s just that his wolf is so embedded in him that it would rip his soul to pull it out.”

Stiles tilted his head and raised an innocent eyebrow. “Rip his soul?  That doesn’t sound good.”

Kira shifted closer to Scott and put an arm around his waist. “No. No it doesn’t.”

Scott looked down at his wife and frowned. “You said before that it didn’t hurt.”

Hengstrom froze and then shook his head. “That isn’t what…”

Scott frowned harder. “You said you’d performed this rite dozens of times.”

Hengstrom nodded enthusiastically. “Yes!  I’ve done this dozens—hundreds—of times.  It does exactly what I’ve promised.”

Stiles made a non-committal sound. “But actually, all you said was that it removed the wolf and the people went back to being human after.  You didn’t say anything about whether they were healthy and happy, did you?”

Kira tugged on Scott’s shirt. “Did he?”

Scott shrugged. “I don’t actually remember.  I was so excited by what he was telling me that I don’t think I asked.” He turned back to the mage who looked decidedly paler under his golden tan. “What happens to the people after you take their wolves? Are they healthy?  Can they… have families? Does it mess with any of that?”

The mage frowned and took his time before answering.  “I don’t stay in touch with all of the people I’ve helped, so I don’t know exactly how they all are. But I can assure you the rite did exactly what it was supposed to do, and they were all completely human afterwards.”

Stiles made another noise. “I’m sure it’s fine, Kira,” he waved his hand between Hengstrom and Scott, “I mean, if there was a problem I’m sure Deaton could fix it, and the pack would be here to…”

Hengstrom lurched forward, hand up. “Um, that’s not…” he swallowed, “I mean, I’m certain that Druid Deaton is very skilled, but this magic is specialized, and he wouldn’t be familiar with the process.  It’s best if the blessed can accept the return of their human status completely, make a clean break with their previous packs and limit their exposure to the supernatural.  As humans they’re so much more susceptible to injury and you wouldn’t want to endanger your family that way unnecessarily, would you?  You and your wife would be able to move on, have children, start your own veterinary practice without all of this hanging over your head.”

Scott’s frown had deepened to the point that Peter thought he could get a playing card to stick in the crease between his eyebrows.

“My wife is supernatural.” He hugged Kira tighter to him and Hengstrom frowned.

“But you said you weren’t mated to another werewolf!”

Kira looked at him, adorable confusion on her face. “He’s not.  I’m a kitsune.  I’m surprised you couldn’t feel my magic.  Dr. Deaton says it’s unmistakable. Plus… I’m pack.”

Hengstrom looked bewildered, wondering how things had gotten so out of hand.

At that point Liam stepped forward, his back stiff and eyes slitted. “It seems to me that there’s more to this rite than you initially let on. So, tell me just one thing: If Scott lets you take his wolf, what will happen to his Alpha spark?”

Peter forced his face to stillness.  Finally, someone was asking the right questions.

The mage frowned. “I’m not sure.  I’ve never removed the wolf from an Alpha before.”

The whole pack took a step towards Scott, suddenly sensing the threat to their Alpha.

“You don’t know?” Liam sounded strangled and he turned to look at Scott. “You mean you didn’t ask? You were just going to let him take your wolf and leave us all omegas?”

Scott deflated a little. “I just figured it would go to the next person in line in the pack.  Maybe you. Maybe,” he frowned, “maybe Peter. I mean, he’s been an Alpha before.  Not a good one, but still.”

Liam was livid. “You were just joking about him being crazy, Scott!  Plus, you’re a fucking True Alpha!  It isn’t like it’s got a line to revert to.  Maybe it just disappears into the ether it came from, and then what would happen?”

The mage was slowly stepping away from the angry young wolf, trying not to draw attention to himself, but Peter’s Spark was having none of it.

“All politics aside, the thing I worry most about is what would happen to Scott’s soul if you ripped the True Alpha spark out of it.  I mean, think about it Scotty.  The only reason you’re an Alpha at all is because of your soul---it’s got to be tangled up tightly in there.  If there is, what did you call it?  Tearing? When you remove the wolf?  What? Does it leave holes in his soul or something?  Mess with his aura? Is that why he shouldn’t be around supernatural stuff afterwards, because something could get in through those holes?”

Kira took her cue like a professional, one dainty hand flying to her mouth as she gasped in fear for her beloved. “Oh my God, that can’t be, right?  Nothing could get into his soul, could it?”

Hengstrom knew he was trapped.  A room full of wolves would hear if he lied. “It’s…  possible.  But, in a world of magic anything is possible.”

Kira moved to stand in front of her husband. “I’d think you’d have led with that fact.  As a matter of fact, the fact that you didn’t makes me wonder what else you don’t tell people about your precious rite.”

Mason gave a side-long look to the man. “Makes me wonder what he gets out of it.”

Peter allowed himself a smirk.  Mason certainly had potential.  He would have to spend a little more time with the boy. The True Alpha needed someone who could see through false altruism that didn’t have a history with him.  It would be much easier to get him to listen, then.

A rumble from the back of the room drew his attention.  Ah.  Reinforcements.

Alan Deaton swept into the room with all the gravitas of an opening night diva, every eye upon him, and he glided to a stop beside his  wide-eyed protégé.

“Remind me never to accept an invitation to a conclave I am unfamiliar with, Scott. It always seems to lead to trouble,” he said, dark eyes resting on the now surrounded mage.

Peter wondered if that meant that the druid had been lured away somehow, but that could be sussed out later.  Right now, he wanted to know what the man intended to do with the interloper.

Deaton was a terrible emissary, but he wasn’t a bad magic user and when Peter saw his eyes widen and a rim of green flash in them, he couldn’t help but wish he, too, could see things with druid’s sight.

Whatever it was, it didn’t make the man happy.

“Scott?” The druid didn’t look away from Hengstrom. “Have you allowed your guest access to you or any others in the pack?”

Scott shook his head, a little sheepishly. “No. We were about to get to that.  Lucky for me, Kira was here.  She seemed to know right away that something was weird.” He hugged his wife tightly, and the little fox met Peter’s eyes and smiled. Leave it to her, indeed. It was a good reminder never to get on the woman’s bad side.  He looked at Stiles and they shared an incredulous look that quickly devolved into twin smiles of satisfaction.  Working together like this behind the scenes was often frustrating, but the connection it built between the two of them wasn’t something Peter was ever going to willingly give up.

“I believe Mage Hengstrom and I have some things to discuss.  I’d appreciate it if a few of your pack members would escort him over to my offices.  Then, I think you all could do with a quick check up.  Just to make sure that there isn’t anything…  missing.” His voice softened. “Or extra.”

A noisy exodus followed, leaving Stiles and Peter alone. Together. Again.

“She’s impressive,” Peter nodded his head in the direction of Kira’s disappearing back. “I don’t know what she sees in him.”

Stiles laughed then, only a little bitterly. “She sees what I once saw in him. A bottomless well of faith and singlemindedness that sometimes,” he sighed as he watched everyone leave, “sometimes feels like devotion.  I hope she never loses it.”

Peter looked at the Spark and wished with all his heart that he could erase the heartache that Scott McCall’s fickleness had caused. Since he can’t, though, he will make do with replacing fake devotion with constancy, and human fickleness with a loyalty that the wolf-kings of old would bow down to.

“Since Alan has the mage under control, what do you say to a milkshake?  My treat.”

Stiles smiled then, weak but sincere. “And curly fries?”

Peter wrapped his arm around the Spark and guided him towards the door. “Of course, sweetheart.  What kind of man do you take me for?”

Stiles’s smile got a little more mischievous and Peter rolled his eyes. “Don’t answer that.”

The smile brightened even more. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Zombiewolf.”

And well, if the boy’s heart stuttered on the lie Peter wasn’t going to call him out for it.

***

Peter listened to the water falling in his shower and the one monopolizing it. Again.

“Three times, Peter!” Stiles was ranting. “I told him.  I told him after the first time.  I told him again after the second time, but this is three times.” The water stopped and the glass door opened with a tiny squeak. Peter imagined what Stiles looked like, skin red from the heat of the shower and his own frustration, and wished that just once the boy was flushed and rosy in his shower for a better reason than Scott fucking McCall’s incompetence.

Peter lounged on his bed, legs stretched out in front of him, ankles crossed, and waited with calculated patience. It didn’t take long.

Stiles stomped in wrapped in Peter’s robe, a wave of scented steam swirling around him and a prickle of agitated magic washed through the room causing the fine hair on Peter’s arms to stand. The Spark was actually angry this time.

“I can’t do this anymore.” Stiles stomped into Peter’s closet, opening and shutting drawers more violently than necessary, looking for something to wear.  Peter didn’t mind. His wolf loved seeing the boy in his clothes, and if he’d bought a few things that ran a little smaller just for the Spark to “steal” well, his tailor didn’t need to know.

“Can’t do what anymore, dear heart,” he asked, aiming for calm. He watched the shadows move on the floor as the boy stripped just around the corner from him. It was a good thing the Spark couldn’t hear his heart. He’d probably run out of the apartment faster than he ran from the troll earlier.

Peter was always the scariest monster when it came down to it.

“I can’t keep trying to save his ass and having him ignore me.  I can’t keep manipulating things from stage left hoping that it works out and that nobody fucking dies.” He stomped out of the closet, a pair of Peter’s jeans slung low on his hips and a V-neck that was a size too large falling off one shoulder. He tossed his towel at the hamper. He missed.  Again. At least some things never changed.

“Mason almost died tonight, Peter,” Stiles flopped, all long legs and arms like a puppet with its strings cut, on the end of the bed. “If Liam hadn’t doubled back for him, he wouldn’t have had a chance.  And it could have all been avoided if Scott had just listened to me.”

Peter rumbled sympathetically. Stiles needed comfort, not fuel for the Scott McCall Is A Terrible Friend fire.

The Spark sighed and dropped back onto the bed, exhaustion finally catching up with him. He’d gotten better in the years since Peter bit Scott.  He was stronger. Had more stamina. Had magic to reinforce his bat when he swung it, and potions to help him heal faster when he didn’t manage to get through a fight unscathed… but he was still human, and he was tired.

“You did what you could, sweetheart,” Peter tried to console, but it was hard. He’d love to point out every flaw, every shortcoming, every insult and betrayal, but his boy was smart. He already knew all those things; pointing them out would just hurt. “It’s Scott.  It isn’t like he’s finally going to learn a lesson from all of this.  Deaton will support him no matter what, and until either he or Kira force him to change, he won’t.”

Stiles didn’t say anything for a long time.  If his breathing hadn’t stayed the same Peter would have thought he’d fallen asleep.

“Scott won’t change, so it’s up to me.” The words were soft, but very final sounding.

“What’s up to you? Do you have a plan for forcing him to change?”

Short curls shook in a negative. “I can’t change him, but I can change me.”

Peter’s wolf growled in the back of his mind at the thought of Stiles changing. He was perfect. He shouldn’t have to change because his packmate—his so called Alpha—wasn’t worth his teeth.

“And how do you intend to change? More Spark studies?”

Stiles rolled onto his side and gave Peter an assessing look. “I got a call from a pack outside of Las Vegas last week.”

Peter stiffened and curled his fingers so that Stiles wouldn’t see his popped claws. NO. He couldn’t leave. Peter wouldn’t have it. He’d…

“Calm down, Zombiewolf,” Stiles said, sitting the rest of the way up and smirking a little. “It wasn’t like that. They aren’t looking for a new packmate, they just need a little help.”

Peter felt the panic drain away, and a new kind of caution take its place. Trust his boy to read him so well. He’d have to be more careful.

“What kind of help?”

“Seems they have themselves an aqrabuamelu.” Stiles watched him for recognition, and Peter couldn’t help feeling satisfaction when the Spark looked proud that he nodded.

“Scorpion man. Not native to the area…  how’d it get to Nevada?”

Stiles shrugged carelessly, the V-neck hanging even lower to expose the shadow of a collarbone. If Peter didn’t know better, he’d think the Spark was teasing him. “What happens in Vegas rarely stays in Vegas, dude.  I don’t know for sure, but I’d bet someone brought the fucker in for some sort of supernatural freak show and it got away from them.” He grinned, looking all of ten years old and full of mischief. “Like the alligators in the sewers where someone flushes an overgrown pet.”

Peter shook his head. The boy was a menace. “I’m assuming they don’t know how to handle the creature?”

“Got it in one.  They’ve heard about our successes in driving off weird monsters and were wondering if we could help.  I thought about telling Scott and seeing if he wanted to curry some favor with a relatively close pack, but…”

Peter watched and waited.  Then he prompted. “But…?”

“But… I was thinking maybe I’d go out there and take care of it for them. Maybe negotiate a non-treaty kind of fee for assistance.  Like a contract hit without the Mob, I mean, Pack involvement.”

It wasn’t a bad idea.  As long as McCall didn’t get his knickers in a knot over Stiles killing things again. That problem didn’t seem to be that much of a factor in Stiles’s calculations, though.

“McCall won’t like it.  He’s made it clear how he feels about this kind of extermination.” There was no judgment in his tone, but Peter couldn’t let him commit to something like this without being sure he knew what he was getting into.

“Well, that shouldn’t be a problem.  Not after yesterday.” Stiles’s scent soured under the cucumber-citrus bodywash.

“Yesterday?”

The Spark flopped back onto the bed again, this time more hopeless than boneless. “Yeah. When I was trying to convince Scott about my plan for the trolls, he said it again.”

Fuck.  That idiot.

“You know he doesn’t mean it.” Peter tried to soothe, but he was just a little too angry on Stiles’s behalf for it to be truly soothing.

“Oh, he meant it.  And I know he meant it because of this.” A long arm shot up from the bed and the Spark shook the thin black leather band dangling from it. “I made it last new moon. A charm bracelet to beat all charm bracelets.  Take that, Pandora!” There was an almost hysterical edge to his tone. “The emissary of the Parker pack taught me how to make it.  She uses one to allow her to stand on equal footing with her wolves—she can scent them and listen to their hearts with it, even though she’s human.”

Peter couldn’t stop the rising of his eyebrows as he stared at the innocent looking thing. Stiles had been able to hear his heart. To read his scent. His brain spun in denial. For a month.

Stiles hadn’t said anything, though, so he would do the same.  Maybe he could salvage things.

“So, you listened to his heart when the two of you were planning?” He tried to steer the conversation back onto slightly less terrifying ground.

“You mean when he told me, again, that I shouldn’t worry about planning because I wasn’t pack?” Pain was threaded through Stiles’s words, but under it there was a clear note of just being done with it all. “Yep. And Scott’s heart was clear as day---not a flutter to be heard. He truly believes I’m not pack, and if the Alpha says I’m not pack, then I’m not pack.  That means, among other things, that that self-same Alpha can’t tell me what to do.  As a best friend Scott could still do that, but he hasn’t been a friend, not to mention a best friend, in a long time I think.”

Peter didn’t argue.  The brat had been many things over the past few years, but a good friend was rarely on that list, and even more rarely as far as it applied to Stiles.

“I don’t believe McCall will see it that way,” Peter poked at the argument gingerly, trying to see where Stiles was going with this. “Is that why you’re telling me? Do you want me to cover for you while you’re away?”

He couldn’t help feeling a little hurt by the idea that Stiles would be moving on without him, but he knows that getting out of Beacon Hills even for a little while would only do the boy good.  As long as he intended to come back.

“No,” Stiles shook his head and levered himself up and off the bed, whiskey brown eyes fixed on his in the lamplight. “I want you to come with me. I mean… how often are you going to get a chance to face off with an aqrabuamelu? Plus, Vegas. Who wouldn’t want to go to Vegas?”

Peter’s wolf sneered. Who wouldn’t want to surround themselves with perfumed, alcohol soaked, despair ridden people in buildings full of too-bright lights, and bells and whistles shrieking twenty-four hours a day?

“Sounds like just what the doctor ordered.” He found himself saying, even knowing that the Spark would hear the lie. “When do we leave?”

Stiles grinned—a wide, true thing that made Peter’s chest tighten. “Well, first we need to swing by Home Depot.  I need to buy a fuckton of diatomaceous earth.”

***

They stood in the Vegas packhouse, a wolf and a Spark, covered in diatomaceous earth and blood.

“I cannot thank you enough for everything you’ve done, Spark Stilinski,” the Alpha would have bowed if there had been an ounce less steel in her spine, Peter was sure. As it was, she dipped her head in thanks and held out a leather satchel full of goods. “I know you hadn’t expected to walk into a hostage situation, and because of that I’ve added a few,” she made a vague gesture to the bag, “items to our payment agreement.  My niece’s life is priceless to me; I only hope that this is satisfactory recompense.”

Stiles took the bag and shrugged it over his shoulder. “You didn’t have to do that, Alpha Garcia, but your generosity is appreciated. I’m just glad that Peter and I were able to help.”

The Alpha looked at Peter and he forced himself to stillness.  A Beta this far from his Alpha, without his Alpha’s approval… well let’s just say he didn’t want to get into the matter if he didn’t have to.  I appeared that today was going to be a good day, though, as Alpha Garcia just nodded to him as well.

“The two of you fight well together,” she said, “I can see how it works.” She looked between the two guests, filthy and tired, and bowed deeply. “Your sister would be happy to see you so settled, Beta Hale.  May your moons be ever bright.”

Peter felt his breath catch and chanced a glance at Stiles, but the Spark’s expression didn’t change except for a tiny arch of an eyebrow, almost challenging him to respond to the Alpha’s blessing. His wolf, though…  his wolf wanted to howl and preen that the Alpha thought Stiles was his mate and would bless such a union so publicly. It made the blood in his veins rush and his heart pound, and then, then, Stiles smiled, soft and fond, and he knew the little monster had let the Alpha believe they were mates from the beginning. Had wanted her to see them that way.  Had wanted all of them to see them that way.

Had wanted him that way.

Peter was many things, but a fool was not on the list.  He gave Stiles one piercing look before turning back and bowing to the Alpha, grasping this last best chance at happiness with both his clawed hands. “May your days be ever joyful. My sister spoke highly of you and your pack. Your blessing means more than I can say.  Thank you.”

He let the truth of his words ring clear and watched, fascinated, as Stiles’s skin pinked in pleasure.  Oh, how he looked forward to exploring how far down that blush went.

“Yes, Alpha Garcia,” the Spark said, not meeting Peter’s gaze. “Thank you.  But, if you don’t mind, my…” he stumbled over his words and the blush deepened when he accidentally made eye-contact, “Peter and I need to get all of this stuff off before it begins eating through our skin the way it did the aqrabuamelu’s. Spells can be made to be specific, but potions can’t really differentiate between types of skin.”

He sounded sheepish and young and it must have appealed to the Alpha’s protective instincts because she immediately acquiesced and sent them back to their hotel to rest and lick their wounds with a smile and an open invitation to visit whenever they were in the area.  It was, in Peter’s not so humble estimation, the best possible outcome.  

***

Stiles wandered out of the bathroom wrapped in an acre of terrycloth and a haze of Peter’s shower gel. Again. The boy had made a break for the bathroom claiming dibs on the first shower as soon as they’d arrived, and Peter had been impatiently waiting his turn alternately trying not to think too hard about the stuff on his skin or the naked young man in the shower. One was decidedly easier to ignore than the other.

While sitting there it occurred to him that Stiles taking over his shower and appropriating his bath products was becoming a habit he didn’t mind. As a matter of fact, he thought he could be happy smelling that particular combination of scents for the rest of his life. That was a thought for later, though. For now, he had another priority, and he pushed his way into the shower stall, determined to scrub himself raw if necessary, to get the noxious paste of blood and potion off his skin. Once he was behind the shower curtain, though, he was practically overwhelmed by Stiles’s scent. Clearly, he had been enjoying more than just getting clean, and it made Peter’s wolf whine with want. His mate was teasing him, but he’d get even soon.

It took longer than he wanted to get the hardened goo off, but he managed without causing too much secondary damage. Finally, he wrapped himself in one of the hotel robes and sauntered back into their room.

Stiles was stretched out on the bed he’d slept in the night before, eyes slitted, almost closed, and Peter could smell exhaustion on him. “Tired sweetheart?” he asked, and the boy made a grumble of acknowledgment.

“Killing giant scorpion monsters in the desert takes it out of you.  Who knew?” Stiles yawned, jaw cracking. “The desert always does this to me, though. I remember being bedridden for two days after mom dragged me and dad to White Sands National Park. It made no sense—nothing but gypsum sand for miles. Not a milkshake or a curly fry in sight.  I was miserable. At that point I was like, screw this dry heat/wet heat argument. How about a nice place where it never gets hot enough to melt your balls or cold enough to hurt your face? That sounds good to me.”

Peter perched on the edge of the bed and reached out to lightly touch Stiles’s knee. The skin was still slightly tacky with damp but soft under his fingers, and he didn’t think he imagined the delicate shudder than ran through the young man’s body. “I’m not particular,” he said. “I find that good company makes up for a multitude of environmental sins.”

Stiles looked at him, gaze steady. “So, you don’t have a dream destination? Chalet in the Alps? Cottage in the south of France?” He paused and licked his lips. “Red-tile roofed villa in Argentina?”

Peter stopped his exploration of Stiles’s skin. “Argentina? What ever made you think of Argentina?”

Stiles shifted, the robe slipping and baring yet more long leg. “Well, you said good company was important.  I thought maybe that included, I don’t know…  extended family?”

Peter’s heart stuttered at the thought. Derek and Cora. They’d been gone long enough that he’d begun to accept that he wouldn’t see them again. “I’ll admit, the idea of family has its pull, but family of choice, pack and mate, is more important.” He cupped the back of Stiles’s knee and squeezed. “I wouldn’t run off chasing rainbows when what I really want is already closer to home.”

Stiles rolled over on his side. “And what do you want, Peter?” The fact that he used Peter’s name instead of a silly nickname brought home how serious the Spark was feeling. “If you could have anything, what would you ask for?”

Peter stared down into amber eyes and gathered his courage in his claws again; facing Alpha Garcia was nothing compared to baring his soul to Stiles. “If I could have anything, I would have everything, sweetheart.” He shrugged a carefully careless shoulder, trying not to show just how vulnerable he felt. “I’d take you as my mate. I’d be an Alpha again. I’d bring Derek and Cora back and have them become pack again. We’d find our own territory—it wouldn’t have to be Beacon Hills; Hale territory stretched much farther afield than that. We’d rebuild the Hale Pack.” He dropped his gaze to his curled fingers. “Maybe adopt a couple of pups to raise. Sell our services to smaller packs to refill the coffers and regain the respect that the Hale name used to command.” He reached out and grabbed Stiles’s hand and brought it to his mouth, pressing a fang-laced kiss to the knuckles there, emotions riding him too hard for him to hide them anymore. “But if all I could have was you, forever? I’d be the happiest wolf in the world.  Never doubt that.”

Stiles sat up and pulled Peter into a hug. “I’m glad you weren’t upset that I let Alpha Garcia think we were together. I thought… well, I won’t go into what I thought. I’m just glad I wasn’t wrong.  I mean, I could have been. You haven’t even tried to kiss me.”

Peter rumbled deep in his chest, arms snaking around Stiles’s waist. “An oversight I intend to rectify immediately, if not sooner.” He dragged his cheek along the Spark’s neck, scenting him heavily before pressing their lips together, reveling in his boy’s trembling breath and grasping fingers. “Kiss you. Touch you. Cover every inch of your skin in my scent so that any were that comes in contact with you can smell that you’re mine.”

Stiles’s groaned and leaned into him. “Want that,” he pressed hot lips along the edge of Peter’s jaw, and they both shivered, “want that so much. Want everything with you.”

Peter grinned into his skin. “Everything, hmmm? I like the sound of that.”

Stiles made a noise of frustration. “Yes, everything, but it’s going to have to wait at least a little bit longer.”

Peter made a moue of distaste, dropping another kiss on Stiles parted lips. Stopping was the last thing he wanted, but he refused to rush his mate in this. “I do not like the sound of that. But you’re probably starving. You’ve only eaten four times today.” He pulled Stiles tightly against his side, letting his hands trail under the edge of his robe one last time to tide his wolf over. He wasn’t a saint, after all. “Let’s put our clothes on—dear God I can’t believe I’m saying that. You are a terrible influence on me.—and I’ll take you out to dinner and to see a show. It is Las Vegas, after all.  It would be a shame to leave without seeing a tiger or Celine Dion or something.  Something that isn’t likely to attack us, anyway.”

Stiles rubbed his face into Peter’s neck, mouthing gently along the skin and nipping at it for his teasing, but there was breathless laughter in his voice when he spoke. “Yes, being attacked by Celine Dion would be terrifying. Regardless,” he said, sitting up and moving so there was a little space between them. “We at least need to go to Caesar’s Palace.”

Peter laughed, heart lighter than it had been in years. Caesar’s Palace? Why not? “Is Caesar’s Palace on your bucket list, dear heart? Or is it just the pinnacle of tourist trap kitsch and you feel the need to commune with it somehow?”

Stiles shook his head and gave him a mischievous smile. “No. It’s just that Caesar’s is where Derek and Cora are going to be staying.  They should be getting into town in about, oh,” he peeked around Peter’s shoulder and glanced at the bedside clock, “two hours.  Just long enough for us to make out a little before we have to go meet them. Or get some dinner.  Whichever you want.”

Peter was stunned. Derek and Cora were coming to Las Vegas? And Stiles had already arranged it? What else did his Spark have planned? He looked down at the force of nature in his arms and wondered, not for the first time, how he’d managed to find such a perfect mate. He forced his words through a dry mouth. “And what if I want everything, Stiles?”

Golden eyes glowed and the mischief faded into determination. “Then you’ll have everything, Peter. I knew when I made this move what I wanted; luckily, my wish list and yours are almost identical.  I know that you were waiting until I was ready before you made any sort of move, but you were never going to believe that I was unless I did something drastic, so… I did something drastic. The Alpha’s blessing was an unexpected bonus. Derek and Cora were the easy part. They know you’re not perfect, and it’s going to take a lot of work to build your relationship back to anywhere near where it needs to be, but they’re willing to give it a chance if you are.”

“And the rest?” Peter asked, almost afraid of the answer. “There’s no pack without an Alpha, and I lost my red eyes a long time ago, sweetheart.”

Long fingers combed through the scruff of his beard. “About that,” Stiles tilted his head to one side and smiled. “I got a call from an Alpha in Saskatchewan. Seems they have a rogue Alpha running around biting people without asking first, and you know what they say.”

“No, sweetheart,” Peter said, closing the space between them, thoughts flashing through his mind and hope fluttering wildly in his chest. “What do they say?”

Stiles pressed even closer. “Well, it’s like it was the garage.” He held his wrist up and shook the little black bracelet that covered his pulse point just a breath away from Peter’s fangs. “Consent is sexy.”

Peter stared at the limb, longing to bury his teeth in the tendons, and thought, not for the first time, that this boy would either be the life or death of him.

***

“Canada?” Scott sounded confused.  It was sad that Peter could identify the flavor of confusion.  This one was Someone is offering me something that’s too good to be true, and I want to believe them, but the last time I did I ended up with no motorbike, a pocket full of magic beans, and sleeping on the couch.

There was a reason Kira was Peter’s favorite packmate.  Or… soon to be ex-packmate if all went well.

“Yes, Canada, Scott. There’s a pack in Saskatchewan that Talia had a treaty with, and they’ve reached out and asked if I could come up and help them with a training program for some of their younger wolves.  They don’t have much interaction with other packs because they’re so isolated, and their Left Hand is getting old enough that he isn’t able to keep up with the young ones’, ah, enthusiasm.”

Scott grinned. “You mean you’re volunteering to move to the Great White North and let a bunch of teenagers beat up on you?”

Peter sneered a little. “It isn’t like I don’t have experience with it.” He gave the teenagers that surrounded them a significant look. “And they don’t have anyone else to turn to.  I didn’t think you’d mind if I took a little… time away. In the name of pack inter-relations.”

Scott waved a hand. “No. No, of course not. Take all the time you need.” He looked at Liam and grinned. “In Canada. I’ll let Deaton know that you’ll pass our good wishes on to the Alpha there.  Hey, maybe we can even get some sort of treaty out of it.”

Peter simply stared. “Perfect.  I’ll have their emissary contact Alan after I arrive. In the meantime, since I’m not going to be in residence, but since I intend to keep the property in my portfolio the pack should continue to use the loft as a base. I know it is hard on Kira to try to host everyone at your apartment.” He gave the kitsune a half-smile and she nodded back, grateful of his consideration.  He almost felt guilty for all the listening devices he’d hidden around the loft over the past week.

Almost.

With Scott McCall and Alan Deaton in charge, it paid to keep a close eye on things.

“Alpha McKittrick is expecting me by the beginning of next week.  Will that be a problem?”

McCall looked like Christmas, New Year’s and his birthday had all come at once. “Not at all. Not at all. Next week sounds great, doesn’t it, gang?”

The gaggle of teenagers made approving noises, even if Mason and Kira shared a look that held more understanding than Peter was comfortable with.  It didn’t matter. As long as they kept their thoughts to themselves for a couple of weeks, everything should go as planned.

He’d braced himself for questions when he returned from Nevada, but no one had even missed him. He didn’t know whether it was better or worse that McCall hadn’t realized that Stiles had been gone as well, but he’d take the oversight it if it meant that his mate had less confrontation to deal with, even if it meant having to face the unpleasant fact that his former best friend had completely left him behind.

Peter couldn’t wait until the truth came out and McCall realized what he’d thrown away. He’d be a laughingstock amongst the packs, no matter what his pet druid told him, and he’d known men like this True Alpha before.  Looking the fool was the one thing they couldn’t abide. It would eat him alive, and Peter looked forward to watching the feast.

He cast a look around and realized that the next time he saw these faces it would be with an Alpha Mate Spark and red eyes. As far as he was concerned, it couldn’t come fast enough.

***

Alpha power scoured through him, blasting away at his control and consciousness, and he howled in pain and confusion as his soul was re-written.

“Hell of a power-up, huh, Zombiewolf?” Stiles was there by him, hands warm against his wrists, magic washing over him like warm ocean waves, voice soothing and comforting the terrified animal in his mind, and Peter nodded to show he was there and aware even if speech was impossible around the mouthful of fangs he was sporting.

“You’ve got this,” his mate sounded so confident, so calm, “you’re stronger than you were last time. Better.  You’re going to be an amazing Alpha.  My Alpha, Peter. My mate. Just hang on a little longer for me, okay?”

Peter could feel Derek and Cora running over the snow-covered ground.  They’d stayed out of the fight on his order; he wouldn’t have been able to focus if he’d been worried about their safety, too.  Stiles had also stayed back, but his skills worked from a distance, and his added magic made the fight much less painful than it would have otherwise been.

He remembered what the Las Vegas Alpha had said, that they fought well together.  It was true.  They did everything well together. As Alpha mates they would be amazing together.

A rumble started low in his belly at the thought, hungry and wanting, and he breathed in Stiles’s scent—ozone and petrichor, the camphor of ancient forests, the sweet notes of apple and woodsmoke, and over it all Peter’s own god-damned shower gel—and he managed to put hid fangs away, his desire to keep his mate safe stronger than the wolf’s yearning to rip and tear and wallow in the meat of battle.

“You with me, Peter?” Long fingers stroked up his arms, and Peter nodded. Stiles let out a satisfied hum. “Told you. Told you you’d be perfect like this. Powerful. Beautiful. Perfect Alpha. Just perfect.”

And it felt perfect—like he always it imagined it would after he watched Talia become Alpha. Like it should have felt when he took the spark from Laura.—red tingeing the edges of golden pack bonds between him and Derek and Cora. He could sense their emotions now, their hunger for a strong pack, their hope that he’ll become the Alpha they need as well as the family they want. And Stiles? Even without the bond in place yet, his wolf knows his mate. He could pick that heartbeat out of a thousand.  Could scent him from a mile away. Already his in so many ways.

“Think you can stand up now?” Stiles asks and Peter realizes they were still crouched in the snow where he’d fallen after killing the rogue, legs knocked out from under him by the strength of the Alpha spark.

“Yes, sweetheart,” he said, pushing to his feet and pulling the younger man up with him. “If I needed to, I think I could almost fly.”

Stiles snorted and gave his chest a thump. “Riding that high, are we?” Derek and Cora were standing just beyond arms reach sharing a smile and for once Peter didn’t feel like he was being laughed at. No. His pack was laughing with him, joyous in the moment, and he shook his head and let them laugh.

“It feels,” Peter tried to find the perfect words and couldn’t, but he needed to explain somehow. “Good. Right. Last time it didn’t feel like this, but now it’s like a shoe that was too tight finally stretched and now fits.”

Derek nodded. “That’s what happened when I was Alpha. It was like the Alpha power didn’t fit. I thought at the time it was just because I hadn’t been trained for it, but I think it’s more than that. I think the person has to fit the Alpha-power instead of the other way around. Whether that’s from birth or growth or whatever:  you can’t fake it and have it work right.  This,” he waved a hand at Peter and looked at Cora for confirmation. “This feels right.”

Cora leaned into her big brother and Peter could see relief in every line of her body, as if she’d finally been allowed to stand down from a perpetual state of alertness. “It does.  It hasn’t felt like this in a long time.  Not since…” her voice faded, and Derek hugged her hard. “Not since mom.”

Stiles had been silent during this exchange, allowing the remaining Hales their moment of healing, but he wasn’t one to be quiet for long. “Awesome. Glad to hear it. Couldn’t be happier about it, and am looking forward to talking about it more, but as the token human I need to say something.”

Peter raised an eyebrow. “And what would that be, dear one? Have you some hidden wisdom concerning the nature of the Alpha spark?”

Stiles shook his head. “No, but I do have some wisdom concerning the care and keeping of pack humans. The instruction manual says that humans aren’t meant to be kept out in the snow this long, and that means that if you three wolfy space-heaters don’t get me inside soon, I’m going to be a Spark-cicle.”

Peter barked out a laugh and swung his mate-to-be up in a bridal carry, pulling him against his chest  and letting him bury his face in the heat of his neck. “Well, there are too many things that I’d miss if they froze and fell off, so I suppose we should head back to the cars. I, at least,” he wrinkles his nose and then rubs it into Stiles’s hair, “need to change. I don’t think the hotel will let me in looking like a serial killer.”

Stiles smirked into his skin. “I’m sure hunting is a thing around here. You could always say that Bambi fought back---if your wolfy pride could stand it.”

His wolf chuffed at the insult. A deer got the better of an Alpha werewolf? Never. Peter sniffed dismissively. “I’d rather walk up to the reception desk naked.”

He didn’t tell the Spark that his murmured I wouldn’t mind wasn’t quiet enough to not be heard, but the peal of laughter from his niece and nephew made it clear.  At least Stiles’s ears were warm after that.

***

Later that evening they lay together bundled up in blankets in front of an unlit fireplace.  Stiles had lined every shelf in the cabin with battery powered candles and had brought out a pair of enchanted logs that he placed on the andirons.  They radiated heat without flame, and Peter had to fight back tears in the face of his Spark’s sensitivity. Maybe it was the new Alpha power making him overly emotional.  Maybe it was just Stiles.

It was probably just Stiles.

“Feeling okay, Z?” Stiles rolled in his arms and looked at him with concern. Apparently, he wasn’t as good at hiding his emotions as he thought. “Not having Alpha blowback or anything, are you?”

Peter tightened his hold and shook his head, trying to find his voice. “No.  I was just thinking about how I never thought I’d get this.”

His boy nodded and settled back down. “You’d probably written the whole Alpha thing off.  I’m glad it worked out, though.  Thanks for going through with it.  I know it’s hard.”

Peter shook his head again. “That’s not it.  Honestly, the Alpha spark has been the easiest part of all of this.  I’d always believed that I’d manage to get my Alphahood back someday.  It’s…”

A cold nose pressed against the side of his neck and Peter could feel him nod more than see it. “Having Derek and Cora back. Family. Pack. I get it.”

That just made the wolf growl and grumble in the back of his mind, because clearly he didn’t get it.  He didn’t get it at all. “No, Stiles, that isn’t what I meant either.  Don’t you understand yet?  All these other things?” He tried to calm his voice, but his wolf was riding him to make his mate understand. “The pack, my niece and nephew, the Alpha spark---all of these are wonderful, and I wouldn’t give them up for anything now that I have them, but they would never have happened without you.  You are the everything.  You are my everything. I never thought I would find a mate, find my soul’s match. Hell, for more than half my life I was convinced I didn’t have a soul, and then you came along. Brighter than any flame. Stronger than any force of Nature. You crashed into my life and nothing has been the same and I am so fucking grateful.”

He pulled Stiles up so he could look into the whiskey depths he dreamed of every night. “I wouldn’t be here without you.” Stiles opened his mouth to argue, because his boy always argued, and Peter shushed him. “No. I mean it.  If I hadn’t scented you in the woods.  Hadn’t had you so close to me in the garage. If you hadn’t killed me and then taken me back in when I was too stubborn to stay dead. If you hadn’t found something in me to value, something you could care about…” he pressed their foreheads together. “I wouldn’t be here.”

Peter resettled them, pressed his lips against Stiles’s temple, and listened to his heart race in his chest. “I am a selfish bastard. I’ve been called a narcissist more times than I can count and until the past few years I’d have agreed with that assessment and embraced it proudly.  Now, though, I know it isn’t true because I know, just as surely as I know your scent and the sound of your heart, that there is no me without you.”

Stiles laid in his arms unnaturally still. “Oh.”

That one syllable conveyed a whole conversation full of self-doubt and fear and isolation and yearning, and Peter’s wolf finally settled when a sweet cherry-blossom note of hope threaded through the Spark’s scent. “You really mean it. It isn’t just that I’m useful.”

Peter frowned and a frustrated rumble rolled through him. “You’re everything. You could sit on the couch and read comic books and demand foot rubs and curly fries every day for the rest of my life and I would thank the Moon that I had you to love and cherish and care for. You’re my mate, Stiles.”

“I just thought that since you hadn’t…” Stiles’s voice faded into an insecure mumble and Peter recognized the damage he’d done by not explaining himself earlier.

“Sweetheart, if the only thing on the table had been our relationship, I would have asked you to mate me as soon as you were legal.  First, though, there was the problem of McCall, because as much as I loathe the brat, he was important to you and I wasn’t going to ask you to choose between us. If I’m honest, I was afraid if I pushed, you’d choose him, and I wasn’t willing to give up the parts of you I had for a slim chance at more.  After Las Vegas, everything was different.  I knew you wanted me, and I wanted you more than anything—there were full moons I had to leave Beacon Hills so I wouldn’t find you and drag you off to my bedroom to mark you, to mate you, to make you mine in ways that no were could mistake.  You had a plan, though, and if that worked out, we could have everything together, and I wanted to give you that, to give you everything. I couldn’t mate you before I fought the Alpha, though.”  He squeezed tighter. “If… if it hadn’t worked…  If I failed to defeat the rogue, you would have suffered terribly if you had a mate bond already in place. You’re not a wolf, but as a Spark, you’d have felt all of it—all my pain—and if I’d died? Well, let’s just say I wasn’t willing to run the risk of putting you through that.”

Stiles was shaking in his arms by that point, and Peter ran a comforting hand down his spine. “The worst didn’t happen, though, and now that the threat has passed, I want you in every way I can have you.” He grasped the boy’s chin in his hand and turned his face so he could see him in the flickering candlelight. His eyes were wide and wet, his lips pink and bitten, and Peter had never seen anything more beautiful. “Can I have you, sweetheart?” He was so close they were sharing breath. “Will you be my mate? Be my everything?”

He should have been expecting it, but the Spark still managed to catch him by surprise, lunging up and flipping them in their blankets until Peter’s back was against the couch and he had a lap of warm, clinging boy. He waited for the Alpha wolf to rebel, to push back and demand submission, but all it did was rumble pleasure at his strong mate.

“I thought you’d never ask.” Stiles dropped a kiss on Peter’s open lips, chaste and sweet, and then another, this one hot and hungry, while threading his fingers through the short hair at Peter’s nape. He tugged gently and the wolf tipped his head back so his mate could lick into his jugular notch. The Spark made a low satisfied noise before pulling away and smiling, trust and happiness glowing in his eyes and magic flaring and rippling around them.

Peter remembered something his Grandfather had told him, long ago under a forgotten full moon: “Faint heart never won fair maiden.” His life had proven that to be true. If he hadn’t finally bitten the bullet, finally put himself on the line, he’d have missed this.  Missed everything.

He pulled Stiles back down into another kiss and then flipped them back over, pinning his boy under him. Stiles squawked in surprise and Peter grinned. His mate was going to hate finding out he was the fair maiden in their story, but Peter had definitely come out on top this time.  

Maybe next time he’d let Stiles come out on top.  He was flexible.

[papermoonloveslucy]

LIZ BECOMES A SCULPTRESS

October 7, 1950

“Liz Becomes a Sculptress” (aka “Liz the Sculptress” aka “Liz Turns Sculptress”) is episode #100 [some sources say #99] of the radio series MY FAVORITE HUSBAND broadcast on October 7, 1950.

This was the fifth episode of the third season of MY FAVORITE HUSBAND. There were 31 new episodes, with the season ending on March 31, 1951.  

This program was the basis for “I Love Lucy” episode titled "Lucy Becomes a Sculptress" (ILL S2;E15), first aired on January 15, 1953.

Synopsis ~ Liz decides that she needs a hobby, and the proprietor of the local arts and crafts store convinces her she's a natural artistic genius when it comes to sculpting clay.

“My Favorite Husband” was based on the novels Mr. and Mrs. Cugat, the Record of a Happy Marriage (1940) and Outside Eden (1945) by Isabel Scott Rorick, which had previously been adapted into the film Are Husbands Necessary? (1942). “My Favorite Husband” was first broadcast as a one-time special on July 5, 1948. Lucille Ball and Lee Bowman played the characters of Liz and George Cugat, and a positive response to this broadcast convinced CBS to launch “My Favorite Husband” as a series. Bowman was not available Richard Denning was cast as George. On January 7, 1949, confusion with bandleader Xavier Cugat prompted a name change to Cooper. On this same episode Jell-O became its sponsor. A total of 124 episodes of the program aired from July 23, 1948 through March 31, 1951. After about ten episodes had been written, writers Fox and Davenport departed and three new writers took over – Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Pugh, and head writer/producer Jess Oppenheimer. In March 1949 Gale Gordon took over the existing role of George’s boss, Rudolph Atterbury, and Bea Benaderet was added as his wife, Iris. CBS brought “My Favorite Husband” to television in 1953, starring Joan Caulfield and Barry Nelson as Liz and George Cooper. The television version ran two-and-a-half seasons, from September 1953 through December 1955, running concurrently with “I Love Lucy.” It was produced live at CBS Television City for most of its run, until switching to film for a truncated third season filmed (ironically) at Desilu and recasting Liz Cooper with Vanessa Brown.

MAIN CAST

Lucille Ball (Liz Cooper) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.

Richard Denning (George Cooper) was born Louis Albert Heindrich Denninger Jr., in Poughkeepsie, New York. When he was 18 months old, his family moved to Los Angeles. Plans called for him to take over his father’s garment manufacturing business, but he developed an interest in acting. Denning enlisted in the US Navy during World War II. He is best known for his  roles in various science fiction and horror films of the 1950s. Although he teamed with Lucille Ball on radio in “My Favorite Husband,” the two never acted together on screen. While “I Love Lucy” was on the air, he was seen on another CBS TV series, “Mr. & Mrs. North.” From 1968 to 1980 he played the Governor on “Hawaii 5-0″, his final role. He died in 1998 at age 84.

Bea Benadaret (Iris Atterbury / Miss Crawford) was considered the front-runner to be cast as Ethel Mertz but when “I Love Lucy” was ready to start production she was already playing a similar role on TV’s “The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show” so Vivian Vance was cast instead. On “I Love Lucy” she was cast as Lucy Ricardo’s spinster neighbor, Miss Lewis, in “Lucy Plays Cupid” (ILL S1;E15) in early 1952. Later, she was a success in her own show, “Petticoat Junction” as Shady Rest Hotel proprietress Kate Bradley. She starred in the series until her death in 1968.

It is not unusual for radio performers to double up on voices, especially if they have very little to do as their principal character. Iris only has a brief phone chat with Liz before Miss Crawford’s entrance. It would not make sense to hire another actress for the role when Benadaret was under contract. 

Bob LeMond (Announcer) also served as the announcer for the pilot episode of “I Love Lucy”. When the long-lost pilot was finally discovered in 1990, a few moments of the opening narration were damaged and lost, so LeMond – fifty years later – recreated the narration for the CBS special and subsequent DVD release.

Gale Gordon (Rudolph Atterbury) and Ruth Perrott (Katie the Maid) do not appear in this episode. 

GUEST CAST

Hans Conried (Carl, Art Store Owner) first co-starred with Lucille Ball in The Big Street (1942). He then appeared on “I Love Lucy” as used furniture man Dan Jenkins in “Redecorating” (ILL S2;E8) and later that same season as Percy Livermore in “Lucy Hires an English Tutor” (ILL S2;E13) – both in 1952. The following year he began an association with Disney by voicing Captain Hook in Peter Pan. On “The Lucy Show” he played Professor Gitterman in “Lucy’s Barbershop Quartet” (TLS S1;E19) and in “Lucy Plays Cleopatra” (TLS S2;E1). He was probably best known as Uncle Tonoose on “Make Room for Daddy” starring Danny Thomas, which was filmed on the Desilu lot. He joined Thomas on a season 6 episode of “Here’s Lucy” in 1973. He died in 1982 at age 64.

The Professor (aka Sam) and Muscles Malcolm the model are played by uncredited performers. 

THE EPISODE

ANNOUNCER: “As we look in on 321 Bundy Drive, Sheridan Falls, it's late afternoon. Liz is just arriving home from her club meeting, and is met at the door by George.” 

Liz has had a very educational day at the club today. They had a lecture on older people and how they can be kept happy and useful, but as Liz has no hobbies, the lecturer pointed out that she's on a slippery slope to being lonely and unhappy when she gets older. So she's going to get a hobby!

On “I Love Lucy,” the motivation for Lucy Ricardo to take up art as a hobby is so that her baby will be born into a cultured household. Lucy shows Ricky a portrait of her great-grandfather (above), who she says was was a great artist. In reality, this is a photo of writer Bob Carroll Jr., who co-wrote both the radio and television scripts!

After some conversation about who will pre-decease whom (and whether they will re-marry), Liz vows to go down to the art store first thing in the morning to get a hobby.

Liz enters Carl’s Arts and Crafts shop and is welcomed by Carl. 

CARL: “I have all media. What do you usually like to work in?” LIZ: “Oh, just an old housedress.”

On TV, Lucy is confused by the term ‘media’ and likes to work in ‘an old smock.’ On TV the art store clerk will be played by Russian-born Leon Belasco (right) who had done three movies with Lucille Ball between 1939 and 1944. William Abbott, the shop owner, is played by Shepard Menken.  

Liz flirts with the idea of finger painting. After all, she already has fingers!

LIZ: “Are these the right kind of fingers?” CARL: “You can start with those. Later on I’ll sell you some better ones.”

Instead, Carl convinces Liz to try sculpting with their in store clay display. Carl suddenly is taken aback by her handling of the clay!  It becomes apparent to the listener that Carl is more salesman that art lover. He gushes over her primative squeezings.

CARL: "All the world is waiting for a squeezer like you!” 

Carl calls over an art critic (whom he calls “the Professor”) who just happens to be browsing in the shop. They both fawn over her lump of clay, even falling to their knees in admiration. Liz is convinced to spend $25 on clay and leaves the shop feeling she is destined for greatness.  Once she is gone, the men drop their pretense and we learn that “The Professor” is really a clerk named Sam.

CARL: “The next aspiring artist to come in I get to be the Professor. You have all the fun!”   

The idea of a convincing a customer to make a purchase by staging a deceptive scenario will also be used on in “The Girls Go Into Business” (ILL S3;E2) in which dress shop owner Mrs. Hansen (Mabel Paige) tries to convince Lucy and Ethel her shop does a booming business by recruiting two ‘shoppers’ (Kay Wiley and Barbara Pepper) to buy lots of merchandise while Lucy and Ethel look on in amazement. The scam works and Lucy and Ethel buy the store. 

George comes home from work to find Liz has set up an art studio in his den. To George’s surprise Liz is wearing an artist’s smock and a tam. 

LIZ / LUCY: “This is the official outfit of all us sculptressessss.” GEORGE / RICKY: “All us whatressesessss?”

Liz proudly shows off her latest work to George, who teases her about not knowing exactly what it is. Finally, he says it is a bunch of grapes and Liz bursts into tears. She’s sculpted a man’s head! 

On TV, Ricky guesses Lucy’s first sculpture is supposed to be a boy and his dog or a girl and her dog but Lucy says it is a child at its mother’s knee.  Ethel guesses it is the nose on somebody’s face.   

After Bob LeMond does a commercial for Jell-O (”You can turn out a work of art with Jell-O!”), the story resumes with Liz sobbing and George comforting her. Liz says she’d do much better if she could hire a model. George volunteers as her model but Liz quickly rejects him. George asks why.

LIZ: “Your muscles. They’re all in your coat.”

George takes off his coat and shit to prove he has what it takes to model.

LIZ: “Well! Gypsy Rose Cooper!”

Liz is referring to the famous strip tease artist and burlesque performer Gypsy Rose Lee (born Rose Louise Hovick, 1911–1970), whose life was the inspiration for the Broadway musical and film Gypsy in 1959. Above, Gypsy Rose Lee visited the set of “I Love Lucy” during the filming of “Hollywood Anniversary” in February 1955. 

Liz unfavorably compares George’s physique to the Discus Thrower, a Greek sculpture completed at the start of the Classical Period, depicting a youthful athlete throwing discus, circa 460–450 BC. Liz measures George’s ‘bicups’ (biceps) but they fall short.  

On “I Love Lucy,” Ricky avoids being a model, but Fred is recruited to pose as the Discus Thrower - and throws his back out in the process! 

George scolds Liz for spending so much money on her ‘hobby’ - $50, which is equal to more than $500 in today’s economy. George demands she return everything to the art store and Liz bursts into tears again. 

The next day, Liz telephones Iris to tell her that she has hired a model anyway.  The doorbell rings and it is ‘Muscles Malcolm’ from the modeling agency. To Liz’s surprise he wants to pose ‘au naturel’ but Liz convinces him to wear a tiger skin. 

George comes home early from dinner so Liz quickly stashes Malcolm in the closet. George sees Malcolm’s street clothes.  Liz tries to convince him that they are his clothes!  Malcolm suddenly sneezes from inside the closet. 

LIZ (quickly): “I didn’t hear anything. Nobody sneezed!”  GEORGE (suspicious): “I didn’t say anyone did.” 

In “The Saxophone” (ILL S2;E2), Ricky stashes a handsome man in the closet to turn the tables on Lucy. Writer Madelyn Pugh remembers: "For some reason, Bob [Carrol Jr.] and I liked the idea of people hiding in a closet. We used it in this show, and in a couple of other 'Lucys.’ We even used it in the pilot of 'The Mothers-in-Law’ fifteen years later – and it always got a laugh!”

The jig is up and Malcolm emerges from the closet. Surprisingly, George is not mad at all.  He leaves the house calmly, but Liz smells a rat.  

George returns with a giggly girl named Miss Crawford (also Bea Benadaret). George is going to take up painting and Miss Crawford is his model. 

MISS CRAWFORD: “Do you want me to pose draped or undraped?  I usually pose undraped.” LIZ: “Draped. You’ve got a bad enough cold already.”

NOTE: This line gets the biggest audience reaction of the entire episode, perhaps because of the intimation of nudity or because Bea Benadaret’s voice sounds very scratchy. Perhaps the audience knows that she is under the weather and feels in on the joke?  

In the live Jell-O commercial, Lucille Ball, in a seductive voice, tells Bob LeMond claims she always wanted to be...a ballet dancer!  Instead, Ball switches to her “Professor” voice; a deep, husky, and blunt tone. 

LUCILLE BALL: “I ain’t gonna do the Jell-O jiggle. I had an accident. I had on my new shoes; they’re kinda sharp. I spun six times. Once for strawberry like this. Once for raspberry like this. Once for cherry, like so. And once for orange, lemon and lime, like this. Darn that Jell-O jiggle, I dun it again. I dug myself right into the ground!” 

ANNOUNCER: “Lucille Ball can currently be seen in Columbia’s laugh-fest ‘The Fuller Brush Girl’.  Watch for it when it comes to your city.”

A recorded commercial for Instant Sanka coffee and the Jell-O jingle ends the broadcast. 

FAST FORWARD!

The television version of this script ends very differently. Lucy tries to pass off her own head as an example of her art work. Ricky invites an important art critic to assess it, and he attempts to buy Lucy’s head and take it with him!  The highly visual ending, with Lucille Ball’s head stuck through a table and covered with clay, works much better than the radio conclusion. 

This isn’t the last time Lucy had a brush (pun intended) with the visual arts. 

In “Lucy Goes To Art Class” (TLS S2;E15) in 1964, Lucy Carmichael also visited an art store and took a drawing to meet an eligible bachelor (Robert Alda).  

In “Lucy and Uncle Harry’s Pot” (HL S5;E21) in 1973, Lucy Carter took up pottery in order to recreate a vase she’s broken which had sentimental value to Harry. 

[halorocks1214]

the law of relativity

AO3 Link

Word Count: 9963

Summary: The Law of Relativity states that each person will receive a series of problems (‘tests of initiation’) for the purpose of strengthening the ‘light’ within. We must consider each of these tests to be a challenge and remain connected to our hearts when proceeding to solve the problems. This law also teaches us to compare our problems to others’ problems and put everything into its proper perspective. No matter how bad we perceive our situation to be, there is always someone who is in a worse position. It is all relative

Previous Parts (in order): Alan | Virgil | You are here! | Gordon

WHY 👏🏼 CANT 👏🏼 I 👏🏼 WRITE 👏🏼 FICS 👏🏼 IN 👏🏼 MO 👏🏼 DER 👏🏼 RATION 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 also just bluuuergh. dont ask about this fic. part of it was written in a dark auditorium, another was written in a different state, another was written on a frickin bus, this fic has been places ill tell you what. half the time i think this is hot garbage and the other half i think its actually decent so im posting this while my head is in a good headspace and then promptly yeeting myself off the internet for a few hours to wait and see what happens. this series is becoming less of a canon divergence AU and more of a straight-up AU because of certain details im trying to worm in there buT IM TRYING MY BEST

thanks once more to @gumnut-logic, because of the length, this time i used three prompts, them being "What do you mean?", crease, and dream (and they werent even used that much sksksksk)

Warnings for both graphic and non-graphic depictions of violence, as well as mentions of torture and other PTSD/panic attack related stuff. I went deep with this one fellas

Orphan.

The word tasted dirty in his mouth.

He can still see the footage in the backs of his eyelids from when he watched it exactly one year ago. He was the only other (living) adult at the time in the family outside of Grandma, so he was permitted to see it. He remembered they originally didn’t want to show him, mainly because of his age, but Grandma was fierce, and she put one hell of an argument on the table.

One Scott refused to let fall through the cracks by breaking down. If only Grandma knew how he cried his eyes out and screamed to high heaven that night in the hotel room after essentially watching his father be blown to bloody smithereens then she was a goddamn saint for keeping it a secret. It made sense, she was the mother to his father. She had quite the line up of stories from Jeff’s childhood. Scott sensed the early-greying of his hair came from her, heh.

The rest of his family eventually saw it, of course, they did. Scott couldn’t shield them forever. What he will protect, selfishly he might add, was how angry he was at how much better they took it than he did. They cried, yes they did, but they never fully broke down like Scott did. Later in life, he wondered if it was jealousy: jealousy at not truly being able to let go. Whatever it was, he made sure to swallow it along with whatever alcohol he chose for the weekend.

Just add it to the ever-growing pile of shit he had to deal with. Nothing new.

Suddenly he’s 20 again and seated in a plane to be taken to his first stint in the Air Force. He said his goodbyes to Virgil, Gordon, and Alan back at home while Grandma and John metaphorically held his hand all the way to the airport. John was… quiet, more so than usual, but Grandma was stuck right in the middle between being a sobbing mess and ecstatic at the fine young man he’s become.

You’re just like your father. He would be proud.

Scott was secretly glad she never physically said it. It gave him plausible deniability in thinking that those words weren’t laced behind her big, bright, prideful eyes.

The first time went well, maybe even great. He stayed for a couple of months, did some flight tests, and while the training was brutal, boy did he learn a lot. When he came back home it was to a family slowly stitching itself back together. Grandma was a full-time house member, Virgil had taken up painting, Gordon talked about potentially going back to his swim meets, and while Alan was still as silent as ever, he was perkier than when Scott last saw him.

It would be on and off for the next few years: a couple of months at home, slowly and painfully taking over the role their father had (he can’t remember when he essentially received joint custody of his younger siblings with Grandma, but hey, he’s not complaining), then a couple of months out at the Air Force base where he slowly climbed up the ranking platform. He became skillful, perhaps too skillful. When he got his rank of Captain he felt it was less of an honor and more of something they owed him.

He was getting cocky. Never enough to be a danger to his fellow men, but enough to be somewhat of an occasional annoyance. Charles smacked him upside the head more than once. It felt like the world was right-side-up for once. Scott made many-a-calls to John and Virgil, the former enjoying his first few rotations up in space and the latter squarely in the middle of college. Gordon was being offered sponsorships to hell and back, and Alan was quietly getting along with the other kids at his school. Grandma was on welcoming duty for Kayo, who was taking her slot in the Tracy family with grace, though, a warning that their family would take custody of her if something were to happen to her parents would have been nice, Dad.

Of course, nothing ever goes right for their family for too long.

Orphan.

Age 24, it was supposed to be a simple retrieval mission of civilians. Scott was put in charge of his squad and then some. At night, they rolled-- well, flew out to get the job done. Scott can’t even remember the country anymore when minding his own business. Australia? Finland? Perhaps Bangladesh? There was a place John was insistent Scott never do rescues in, Virgil tended to agree, and the eldest unhealthily let them banish him from ever stepping foot there without argument. He could never remember the name off the top of his head until John’s familiar International Rescue, we have a situation rung out in the living room followed by the name of the country.

He would immediately forget it later, trauma too strong, too volatile, but the way his heart stopped and his head shattered and the way he felt ice water rush down his back was a good enough reason to quietly leave the room and let John delegate the job to one of his brothers. Sometimes John found him retching in the toilet halfway through the mission. He made sure to always mute Scott’s wrist communicator, even if it was never turned on in the first place.

The plane touched down. Orders sent the ground team out. But then the ground team took longer than estimated. Scott tensely waited where he was told to. It wasn’t the first mission that took a little longer than predicted and knowing humans, it surely wouldn’t be the last. Then, words mixed with heavy static came over the radio. H--p. Co-- ---7--. --nd ba---p --me--at--y.

Scott sat tensely in his seat, remembering his orders and suddenly hating them. Radio back to home if the mission goes south. Well, it didn’t look like they had the radio anymore. Still didn’t hurt to try at least. Scott spoke the familiar protocol that was ingrained into him when trying to call base. Dammit. Nothing. Probably some kind of blocker of sorts. Sitting up straight as a board, Scott looked through his options.

… He was in charge here. If something happened to his team the fault would lie squarely on his shoulders. Going against everything but his gut, he went out to help his squad. He can’t really remember what he exactly did anymore, but he does remember that it made a noise. Like a Looney Tunes scene: he flinched, froze, waited to see if anything or one heard, breathed a sigh of relief, and continued.

He eventually stumbled across one of his closest comrades, Arnold Brigeets. Yes, the name was ironic and half the reason he joined the force in the first place. The guy was one of the people that actually trained Scott and also seemed to be one of the few that was genuinely proud when Scott became a higher rank. It’s why Scott was more appreciative of Arnold than others, that, and well… Scott thought his fatherly abilities were good. The guy did have three kids back home.

Orphan.

Ducking down behind the cover his older friend was semi-situated behind, Scott watched as Arnold jumped at the intrusion before sighing. Scott had run into some enemies that he swiftly took down-- nothing too serious, he didn’t have the time or weapons for such an act, but they definitely would be out of it for a while-- so Arnold must have too on his way to find cover as well, hence why he was so on edge.

“Thank God,” Arnold wiped his forehead, “Glad to see you join us, kid.”

Scott was breathing heavily, but the grin he attempted was still there, “Y-Yeah, so what happened? More threats than we thought?”

Arnold shook his head, “Yes and no. There were a lot more baddies than we thought, but that’s because the civilians weren’t civilians. It’s a tr--”

Boom. The familiar sound of a gunshot.

Arnold fell over. Never got back up. Dropped like a rock in a lake, never to come up to the surface again.

Scott was so caught off guard he couldn’t react to the gun that swiftly beat him over the head, knocking him out cold. The only thing on his mind was oh fuck oh fuck I messed up I shouldn’t have come I wouldn’t have made any noise that way why did I--

They had him for roughly two weeks. Scott always thought the plotline in movies where the villain vehemently denied knowing any important information was dumb as hell. We’re not stupid. We wouldn’t go after someone if they didn’t know something.

The things they did hurt and no amount of I don’t fucking know anything! would help. Those two weeks were lost to Scott in a sea of pain and torment. The only thing he remembered was being captured, then waking up in a hospital drugged up to his gills with his superiors staring at him like he cured cancer.

“You saved the rest of your squad from sharing the same fate as the first half.”

“I-I did?”

“You betcha, son. I only wish I was there to see it! People be saying you were like an animal in how you took ‘em all down.”

Scott’s never remembered, and he wanted to keep it that way.

He was given the highest honors, even the chance to skip a couple of ranks to be at the same level as the big boys, but the night they were going to share the news to the golden boy himself, they found him in one of the bathrooms with a bloody hand and a mirror shattered with no hope of fixing it.

He was honorably discharged to a family that was so thankful he was home. Words like missing in action and POA never stopped haunting their nightmares. Scott was too, God, of course, he was, but sitting around and doing nothing was the last thing his traumatized mind wanted or maybe even needed. After doing what he considered to be the biggest fuck-up of his life, he needed to feel important.

This isn’t the first time he’ll say this and it surely won’t be the last: thank Christ for Grandma.

“You want me to take over?...”

“Yep, it’s about time Tracy Industries received a new pair of eyes. The Board certainly thinks so.”

“But… they’d rather have a crazy, PTSD-infected veteran over you?”

A rough pinch to his ear, “Hey now, don’t call yourself that,” the gentle motherly tone was back as soon as it left, “Besides, that crazy might exactly be what they want. Half of their argument is that I “don’t take enough risks.” They’re getting tired of listening to an old fart like me.”

A moment of contemplation, followed by the cheeky raise of an eyebrow, “So you’re saying you want me to take so many risks they have no choice but to take you back?”

A bark of laughter, “Damn straight.”

He learned the ropes faster than normal (healthy, is probably the correct term), and he immediately won the hearts of both young and old in the company. Instead of flying planes every few months, he worked on business reports and vetoed new ideas every couple of weeks. It felt satisfying for the most part, and his family was just happy he was still alive to enjoy it.

However, there was a slight roadblock on his way to becoming a somewhat stable person.

He became prone to violent blackouts. It had to have started when he blacked out and saved himself from those two weeks of hell, which made the most sense. Something was always destroyed when he came back to life. John was the best at calming him down due to his own experience with panic attacks, however, John couldn’t always be there, and the next rotation for NASA was coming swiftly. Scott swore up and down he would be fine, he could figure something out. John went back into space with an eyebrow permanently raised.

It was just him and Virgil home (Grandma had taken Alan and Kayo to watch Gordon swim) when he, unfortunately, proved John right. Scott wasn’t sure what triggered it, but he vividly remembered coming back in Virgil’s extremely tight hold. The first thing Scott thought to say was damn, beanstalk, when did you get so strong? but then he laid his eyes upon the forming bruise on his younger bro’s face and hasn’t recovered since.

Virgil swore he never held it against Scott. Scott definitely thought he should have.

That night brought sudden clarity to Scott that he was doing this horribly wrong. He was a ticking time bomb, and it wouldn’t be long before something was damaged in a way that couldn’t be fixed. Scott needed an anchor. Something to ground him before he took it too far. John wasn’t going to be earthside forever, Grandma was busy with Kayo, Alan was just a kid, and Gordon was living the dream. None of them were viable.

Then, as he was thinking, he was suddenly aware of how calming Virgil’s arms were around him, how they were preventing the growing panic attack in his chest from getting even bigger.

It was easy.

For once in Scott’s life, his eyes were big and young as he asked Virgil, “Help me, please.”

After a few brief seconds, Virgil gulped, “Okay.”

From then on, Virgil was Stone Number One. Scott’s admiration for Virgil outweighed the guilt of putting the black-haired man in that position in the first place. Virgil was glad to follow his older brother’s leadership, but just as qualified to bring him the hell back when he went too far. From getting too sacrificial to preventing a good punching-out some of the idiots they dealt with, Virgil made sure Scott knocked that shit off.

Time went on, Scott was a top-notch CEO at Tracy Industries, John was having one hell of a time up in space, Virgil was graduated and had so many life opportunities to pick from, Alan was thriving at being a (mostly) stable kid, Kayo was 100% acclimated to the family, and Gordon--

Scott found himself gripping the wooden desk very abruptly. He was shocked he didn’t snap a chunk off in the process. Why was he thinking about this right after a giant business conference? Who knows at this point. If this giant origin story seemed jagged and jumpy, maybe even somewhat vague, good, that’s how it fucking felt.

Back to said story.

Scott always thought he and Gordon would have the least amount in common.

They do, but out of all the things they could have picked to be similar, why did it have to be the PTSD caused by military-related jobs? Scott was 24 when he got his, Gordon was just under 20. It may have been a few years since their respective accidents, but they’re never going to go another day without it feeling like it was just yesterday.

At this point, Gordon was up and walking again, mainly thanks to John and Alan while Virgil and Scott helped in their own ways. Grandma’s cooking was what probably motivated him the most though, ha, the need to get away from it… Scott smiled. Grandma was always a constant. Honestly, if it weren’t for her, the family might have fallen apart. Literally.

What has he been saying throughout this whole shindig? Thank Christ for Grandma.

One day out of the blue, Grandma reserved the entire family (yes, even Kayo and Alan) private plane tickets so they could spend some time on the mainland for a few days. Honestly, even if the island wasn’t getting major renovations, you hooligans need to get out more. Have some fun. Try not to kill anything, especially each other, she all told them while creepily grinning. John and Virgil smacked Gordon more than once on the plane for insisting that she finally snapped, dudes, she’s gonna kill us.

Most of the time during their little vacation, Scott heavily focused on his breathing. He was pretty sure he knew what she was doing. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous, but the same went for his excitement.

Dad showed him these plans the day after his 18th birthday. You’re a man now, Scotty, I need your help making this big boy decision with me.

As soon as they reset foot down on the island, Scott took a deep breath and felt relaxed at the salty taste in the air. It was weird, nothing on the outside was changed, and yet… it still felt different.

“Guys!” Virgil yelled out, “Stop playing in the water! We just got back, aren’t you two tired?!”

Blinking back to reality, Scott looked over to see his two youngest brothers doing exactly what Virgil was yelling at them for. Poor Johnny was a little damp too, which is what probably caused Virgil to shout at them in the first place. The blondes didn’t care. They continued to prance around in the shallow waves with their pants legs rolled up, acting as if they didn’t hear anything outside of their laughter. Gordon shoved his hands down into the liquid and threw some directly at Alan, nailing him right in the face.

Scott exhaled slowly. He couldn’t imagine them doing this 8 years ago.

Regardless, the artist was right, and they couldn’t waste too much time. Kayo was swift in grabbing both gentlemen by the ears and dragging them onto dry land. They all painstakingly trekked their way up to the-- what would you call Tracy Island? Mansion? Over-blown cabin? Well, whatever it was, Scott would always be willing to call it home.

Stepping inside, each brother took in the view, which was underwhelmingly not that much different, except for one tiny thing. John suddenly noticed a figure already standing in the living room and blinked, “No way… it’s--”

Gordon jumped in, both with his body and his words, “Brains?! Dude, how’s it hanging?!”

The scientist in question jumped at the voices before clearing his throat and readjusting his glasses, “O-Oh, hello again, T-Tracys. It’s good to see you all once more.”

Virgil slung an arm around his shoulder, ignoring the blatant squawk, “Man, how long has it been?! What made you finally decide to crawl out of your hole?”

Snickers came from all corners of the house. Brains stood up straighter, “W-Well, I was contacted b-by Mrs. Tracy over here with an offer I c-couldn’t turn down.”

Eyebrows tilted in all shapes and sizes. Someone cleared their throat. Everyone turned to look at Grandma once again, “I think if you all follow me, you’ll swiftly understand what I’m talking about.”

I already do, Scott thought matter-of-factly. John seemed to be understanding it now, Virgil was on the cusp of remembering what his father was hinting at for him, and Gordon was just as lost as Alan. It made sense, Jeff talked to all of them about it, but the oldest had seniority. The two youngest not remembering just by words was expected, especially since that was going to be rectified very quickly.

The hangar under the island was beautiful. Point blank. It smelt of iron and steel and grease and engine and that was the first time since Scott had been in the Air Force that he didn’t gag or flinch at the thought of flying something again. Scott had seen the plans his father drew. He assumed Jeff finished building it, but he never got to physically see it since…

In some ways, he was glad he didn’t. Now he got to experience it with (most of) his family, and that made it ten times better.

After letting them absorb the scenery, Grandma slowly turned around to look at them all, “You remember that dream your father had?”

The four oldest blinked, Kayo simply raised her eyebrows, meanwhile, Alan, being the teenager he was, didn’t read the emotion in the room, “Oh, yeah! Aunt Casey always talked about how he was going to “change the world” and stuff. What did he call it again?”

Scott felt way more confident than he had in a while, “International Rescue.”

Grandma nodded, gleeful at the happy look on her oldest and youngest grandsons’ faces, “Well, I’ve been thinking about some things. I know we don’t exactly worry about money, but after everything your father put into these girls… I’d hate for them to go to waste.”

The Tracy family jumped at that. John’s mouth was wide open in shock, yes, shock, “That station is still up there?”

Grandma sighed, “You mean ‘Five? Not for long. Not if we don’t send someone up there within the next few days.”

John blushed at the grin Grandma gave him. Clearing his throat, his big brain came to a startling conclusion, “Wait… you brought Alan along?”

The other big brothers in the room jumped at that. Kayo was the only one with enough balls to say the truth out loud, “Mrs. Tracy, I mean no offense, but he’s--”

“Just a kid?” Grandma smirked, “A kid that’s topped the VR charts for Intergalactic Fury for weeks straight while simultaneously getting nothing but A’s in his classes?”

Scott nodded slowly in comprehension. He remembered Alan talking about that game for a while. It was some kind of online racing simulator of sorts. Scott caught the prettiest string of words from Alan when going to bed one night. Nearly made him shit his pants. He made the kid promise to keep it PG-13 if he wanted to keep playing.

Still, the elders in the family slowly turned to look at the freckled boy with both shock and pride. Alan blinked with wide-eyed innocence, “But my English class is only at a B--”

“Shh, kiddo, I’m making a point,” Grandma rolled her eyes. The other brothers snickered. Yep, still Alan. Grandma sighed, “Now before you point out that video games are different, I know, but the difference between them and this is that video games don’t have some of the most talented older brothers in the world to guide him.”

Said older brothers jumped at the idea. Before any objection could be made, Grandma continued, “Besides, the GDF seemed to be okay with it. The Colonel was willing to oversee some of his training too.”

John flinched at that, “But IR is supposed to be independent!”

Grandma slightly frowned. She didn’t exactly like it either, “It still is, but in the world of business, compromises have to be made.”

Virgil huffed and crossed his arms, “Well, that’s… rough. Here I thought only Scott would have to deal with the bullshit of business.”

Grandma chuckled at the somewhat un-Virgil-like behavior, “It really is, Virgil. But about that Scott part,” she slowly turned to look at him and him only, “I hate to give you more work to do, but if you want to work within their restrictions?”

Suddenly every pair of eyes in the room was on the head of the family. Gulping, Scott looked down at his feet to think. It was a tense few moments, nobody sure what he was going to decide, least of all him, before the brunette cleared his throat and brought his face back up with a grin.

“Well then,” Scott turned to look at the bright tip of ‘One, chest fluttering with a feeling that became unfamiliar to him over the past few years, “I guess now it’s time to state the obvious.”

From then on, every time he loaded into that cockpit of his girl, he felt lighter than air.

“Thunderbirds are GO!”

Everything was okay again.

Mostly.

Orphan.

Scott took another sip of his whiskey and refocused on his reports.

---

Scott was in some kind of dissociative state the whole way home.

Alan doesn’t deserve this. He’s still a kid, barely an adult, and he’s going to go through utter hell because you screwed up. You were 24, Gordon was just under 20, Alan was barely 18. Alan’s going to get fucked up like you and it’s all your fault.

His movements were robotic and rigid. Anyone with a working eye could tell he was deep in shock and running on autopilot. Mostly Jeff. Especially Jeff. The rest of the brothers all noticed too, but they were also running on their own empty fuel tanks, so the only thing they could do was guilty send their older brother the occasional glance of pity and concern.

Jeff was going to need to talk to them about that. Somehow. Maybe he shouldn’t be the one to point it out since he feels just as bad. His sons were too much like him, sometimes, and that made his guilt burn all the same. He should’ve been there to warn his sons about the dangers of unnecessary guilt. Having that kind of guilt was a parent’s job, dammit, and maybe grandparents only occasionally.

But then he remembered where he’s been for the past 8 years and… who really was Alan’s parents anymore? His gut was screaming it sure as hell isn’t you, but he knew his sons would want him to step back into the role as soon as he was physically fit to do so, not just for Alan, but for themselves as well. They would deny it, but they probably just wanted to be kids again too, even if it was only brief, fleeting moments.

Who was to tell the protective, fatherly side of Jeff no to that? No better time to fix things like the present after all.

He saw Scott go up the stairs when they first stepped into the living room, so that’s where Jeff was going to go too. Footsteps light, Jeff retraced his eldest’s pathway to his bedroom. Only, he stopped before said bedroom. Unfavorable noises were coming from the closed bathroom door, and Jeff could only swallow whatever emotion it made him feel. Taking a deep breath, he slowly opened the (unlocked) door to the bathroom and laid his eyes upon the incriminating scene.

Jeff was met with the sight of Scott retching his entire stomach into the toilet, hands aggressively grabbing his sticky, hair-gelled hair and trying to make himself bald from the strain.

Jeff’s reaction was always based on autopilot, and it will never stop being so.

Ignoring his protesting body, Jeff kneeled and placed a hand on his son’s back, only to abruptly pull back like he touched a hot stove when Scott only got more hysterical at the contact. The brunette clenched his eyes shut even more (and they were already shut as much as possible) while his head became a special kind of crease. Like he was in pain, “God, I wanna go home. Why won’t they listen I swear I’m telling the truth! Please, I just want Dad--”

Jeff was frozen on the spot, heart stopping in the process. His brain shut down while he watched his son continue to mindlessly ramble and panic. His freaked-out mind barely registered footsteps from behind in the hallway, followed by a voice going what’s going-- holy--

Something thundered past him. Blinking once, Jeff guiltily watched as Virgil kneeled behind the eldest and wrapped his arms around the thin man’s shoulders while taking Scott’s hands in his in a protective blanket, “Scott! Jesus-- we’re at home, you’re safe and it’s June 14th, 2--”

Scott only struggled more, panicking at the fact he could no longer yank his hair out. Dammit, it was the only way he could feel in control, don’t take that away too! “No! I swear I’ve said everything! Please--”

Virgil immediately knew that this was one of those attacks that Scott wasn’t coming back down from with pure human intervention. Add-on the sight of his father’s big eyes signifying the man was at a loss at what to do, Virgil had no choice. He snapped loudly, remembering the comms were still on and only feeling slightly bad at the way Scott flinched in his arms, “Shit-- John! It’s Scott! Get the stuff! We’re in the upstairs bathroom!”

Muffled footsteps through a few walls in the house could be heard. Jeff’s mind was only starting to catch up when the brother Virgil called for came rushing into the bathroom (Jeff never remembered it being big enough to hold four of them) and ignoring Jeff (practically shoving him out of the way too, man, this was bad) on his way to the main problem at hand. Landing on his knees in a way that made Jeff wince, John gently grabbed one of Scott’s arms from Virgil’s hold and subsequently pulled a needle from nowhere and injected something into Scott.

The response was instantaneous.

Scott’s breathing, while still labored, got slower. He stopped struggling as well, and the way he sagged reminded Jeff of ice melting into a puddle. The two other brothers’ shoulders also sagged, relieved at the crisis averted. John stood up, knees cracking as he rubbed the back of his neck. Then, he froze at the sight of something in the doorway, “G-Gordon…”

Virgil snapped his head up from where he was looking at Scott. Jeff did something similar. Yup, in the doorway was the strawberry blonde, eyes wide, making him younger by about 10 years. The ex-Olympian in question inhaled, closed his eyes, and soon speed-walked his way out of the entrance to the bathroom. Dammit, neither Gordon or Alan have seen something like that and it probably spooked him more than anything. He’d understand with his own PTSD-related issues, but still, seeing the “never weak” big brother freak out in such a scary way...

John combed a hand through his hair, shaking his head. As he started walking out of the room, he whispered to himself, probably hoping no one heard him, “Dammit, this is all so fucked…”

Unfortunately, Jeff did hear, and the dirty language made the father flinch. John was always the best about making sure Grandma didn’t wash his mouth out with soap, and the fact that he so willingly didn’t care meant that everyone was at the end of their rope. Still reeling at the sight, Jeff couldn’t react to the gentle arms that picked him up off the floor and slowly led him out of the suddenly stuffy room.

With the click of the door shutting, Jeff realized what Virgil did, “W-Wait, Scott--”

“Will be okay for a few seconds,” Virgil finished for his dad, “I know it’s nearly been a decade, but the one part of you I definitely know hasn’t changed is the need to comfort us, just like we hoped.” The small grin that fell over the middle child’s face put Jeff a little bit at ease, but Virgil wasn’t completely done, “So, I’m going to let you take care of this, but I just want to make sure you’ll handle it with grace. Take this slowly, okay? Scott might be doped up, but he’s still… volatile, in a sense.”

Jeff cleared his throat, suddenly choking on the unneeded tension, “Okay, Virgil, I promise, just… what happened? That was… bad, and really bad at that too. I know Scott would never let something that severe willingly come out in front of his family.”

Virgil rubbed the back of his neck, clearly not ready for this conversation, “Listen, Dad,” he inhaled sharply, cutting himself off before sighing in a way that said fuck it, might as well get this over with, “As much as it felt like it did, the world didn’t stop spinning because you… well, we had lives we somehow wanted to continue living. We all have lives and stories now, and this is Scott’s story to tell.”

Jeff was getting misty-eyed again. Back when he was just a kid, Virgil couldn’t keep a secret to save his life, mainly in part due to his insomnia-related issues (Jeff has to wonder if he still has them, more problems for the future) and general lack of filter because of sleep-deprivation. Now Jeff knew there was a starch difference between a kid who couldn’t keep his mouth shut and a man who genuinely knew how to respect another man’s privacy, but…

It just hammers home how much he’s missed with his boys. Gulping, Jeff made a mental note to talk with his mom about certain things he’s missed. She’ll know a lot more than he would, “Okay, Virge. Thank you, for stepping up there.”

Virgil’s shoulders relaxed at Jeff’s words, as well as his father’s hand patting him on the shoulder, “Thanks, Dad. Just… go easy on him. I know it’s a little late for this but none of us ever properly talked about things. It was very unhealthy, deep down we all knew that, but…”

“You just couldn’t get the proper emotions out?” Jeff finished for his son. At Virgil’s soft nod, Jeff exhaled, “I’m not going to say that it was a smart decision, but we’re all here now. We can move forward with this.” Jeff squeezed where his hand laid.

Virgil blinked before curtly going, “Yeah. Goodnight, Dad. Take care of Scott.”

Virgil stepped around his father and walked to where his bedroom most definitely was not, but Jeff could deal with that in a little bit. He had another son who he was pretty sure just had a violent PTSD attack of some kind, plus, Virgil seemed to sour at something Jeff said. The ex-astronaut wasn’t sure what it was, so he didn’t chase after him out of worry that--

Wait.

We’re all here now.

Dammit, Jeff. Out of all the sentences you could’ve picked...

Alrighty, just add that to the ever-growing pile of things that need to be talked about later. No biggie. Jeff found himself sighing and rubbing the back of his neck much like Virgil did a few minutes ago. Turning around, he was met with the bathroom door once more. Shaking his head, Jeff slowly crept into the room and saw that not much was different, especially with Scott.

His heart softly cracked, but, again, he can deal with it later.

Sitting down on the ground and grimacing at the way his body ached (was gravity always this rough?), Jeff leaned against the floor cabinets about 2-3 feet away from Scott, who made himself into a nice comfortable ball in the corner next to the toilet, his palm smushed against his forehead. Jeff waited a few seconds. Then minutes. Then he realized he would have to be the one to initiate the conversation. He probably should’ve realized that right when he came back in. He opened his mouth, but his wasn’t the one that words came out of.

“It was… Zambia.”

Jeff’s heart stopped and his mouth snapped shut. He couldn’t stop the way his eyes clearly showed his panic, but hopefully, he guiltily thought, Scott was a little too doped up to not realize it, “Scotty, what do you mean?”

Scott shrugged in a way that spoke he thought what he was admitting wasn’t a big deal. Yep, clearly not with it, “Mission went bad… caught for a couple of weeks.”

Jeff was hoping his first fuck back on Earth, spoken to himself like right now or otherwise, would have been a comedic thing, but the way nausea rose in his throat said this was anything but funny.

Scott wanted to be in the Air Force. Badly. Who was a father to deny his son’s want to be part of such a noble cause? He gave him tips, took him to meet friends in high places, sometimes even sparred with him when he turned 18, but then Jeff was suddenly thousands of miles away with no hope of ever having the chance of sparring with his eldest again. Despite it, Jeff hoped Scott went on to become the best pilot the world has ever seen.

Part of this looks like he did, but at what cost?

As much as it felt like it did, the world didn’t stop spinning because you… well, we had lives we somehow wanted to continue living.

Aw hell, “Jesus, Scott…” Jeff couldn’t tell if it was the brashness or the lack of a nickname that made Scott flinch and he hated it. He immediately softened his tone and brought his 27-year-old child into his arms, “Shh, shh, we’ll be okay. We’ll figure this out.”

Like father like son, old habits die hard, and as easy as it was to still be able to comfort his children, Scott seemed to just as easily take it as he used to 8 years ago, “Alan doesn’t deserve this kind of hell, God, he’s barely not a kid anymore! Why--”

Jeff tightened his hold to keep his son in reality, and because he didn’t like the tone behind those words, “Hey, you didn’t either--”

Scott somehow managed to fling himself out of the hug, focus incredibly on point for someone who was doped up to his eyelids five seconds ago, “But I fucked up! I made the wrong call and then suddenly Arnold was dead and he had a wife and kids-- shit, what the hell did I do?”

Okay.

First of all: way to put him back in that headspace when that’s the exact opposite you were going for, Jeff, father of the year. Second: dammit. Just… dammit. This was a big fat hand grenade in a giant handbasket that they didn’t have time to gently get out while simultaneously not yanking the pin clean off with the grace of a drunk elephant. Jeff was no stranger to Survivor’s Guilt, but there was a whole untapped pile of metaphorical C4 within his son’s head that was ready for someone to push the goddamn button.

He wanted it to be him, desperately, because it sounded like he already failed his family enough, it was all he could do at this point, but he absolutely hated that he couldn’t do it right now. This was going to take a lot of time, which they didn’t have, plus, Jeff thought he had a pretty good understanding of this new Scott and the rest of his kids. Jeff was aware that if he didn’t help his sons find their baby as fast as possible over everything else it’ll lead to a fate nobody wanted.

A shaky sigh, “Okay, Scotty, let’s get you to bed. We’ll talk strategy in the morning.”

Scott simply nodded as his father flung Scott’s arm around his broader shoulders and picked him up. Slowly and painfully but surely, father and son meandered their way to Scott’s room. With a thump a little harder than Jeff wanted, Scott flopped down on top of his sheets and immediately started snoring. Despite everything that just happened, the father couldn’t help but grin at the sight. Well, there was another thing Jeff gracefully passed onto his son.

Jeff only took Scott’s shoes off. He would’ve loved to pull the sheets up around him too, but the father didn’t want to take any chances at waking him up. Slowly tip-toeing out of the room, Jeff gave one last glance back at his son before finally letting him be and gently shutting the door. He had three other sons he needed to console, but his tired joints told him to selfishly take a moment for himself for right now unless he wanted to collapse and give his family more to deal with.

Jeff eventually made his way to his room-- which was sadly unkempt, he noticed-- and sat down on the edge of his unfamiliar bed to think.

He’ll figure something out. If he had to crawl through images of his son being brutally and bloodily tortured then by God he would with the fury of a thousand suns.

He was back and he wasn’t going to throw away any second or even third chance he was given.

---

“I got him.”

Virgil turned his comms back on, and with it, Scott’s heart restarted for the first time in a few weeks. Taking a moment for a breather, Scott leaned against the wall while practically wheezing. They have him back, holy shit, they have him back. Scott vaguely heard Gordon cry in pure relief and joy. He saw John’s side of the comms flutter for a bit before a bright flash happened. Blinking away the white spots, Scott looked at his wrist to see a fully detailed map of the compound.

Gordon spoke what they were all thinking, “Woohoo! First Allie comes back, then Johnny-boy gets us a free ticket out of here! We’re winning this race, baby!”

A very loud moment of silence. John cleared his throat, “Actually, I was going to say glad to see you in one piece, you little shit,” a playful gasp came from Virgil’s side. It was too high pitched to be from the pianist’s mouth. Scott chuckled, but the paranoid part of his brain said John wasn’t done. His brain was right, ‘“But guys… that wasn’t me. Or EOS. We still haven’t found a way to get past the metal they made these walls out of.”

That silence was even more deafening than the last, and before Virgil could utter out his typical what the fuck, a small logo appeared at the corner of their new map. One that was all too familiar. The Chaos Crew wasn’t the only one who could brand their awful deeds.

Son of a bitch.

Virgil’s order over the radio was meant for Alan, but Scott couldn’t help but listen to it too.

“Shit, Alan, you need to run.”

Making quick work of the compound once more, Scott, while booking it even quicker than last time, opened a private line between him and Gordon, “Hey, how would you feel if I said go help Virgil while I cover Alan?”

The first response was stuttering, which Scott expected, but then it was followed up by something completely out of left field for Gordon, “... Okay, just as long as you promise to bring Alan back in one piece.”

Part of Scott wanted to console Gordon, another was questioning why Gordon was so quick to give up, another wanted to say of course, I will, idiot, but the first part that made itself verbal was easy, “You know I will, buddy.”

Scott could physically picture Gordon’s tiny, little, somber nod clear as day, “Sounds good, captain. See you on the other side.”

With a click, Scott was back on the group comm. Suddenly remembering what exactly his job was, he pulled out the map so graciously given to them by The Hood. Looking at all the dots, one was heading towards a prone one (oh if that asshole did anything to Virgil…) while another one was heading right for Scott himself. Actually, in just a few seconds, right as Scott rounded the corner he would--

“Woah, look out there, Tigger!”

Yes, you heard that correctly: not tiger, Tigger. Tigger hadn’t been used since Alan was itty bitty. It always seemed like the kid had endless energy with the way he wouldn’t stop bounding off the walls and furniture. Even as a baby, Lucy had to sit with him for a few hours while he slept in his crib to make sure he would stay there. In fact, their mother gave Alan that nickname herself. She was quite the Winnie the Pooh fan, and the rest of the family figured it would be one of the ways they could keep her legacy alive for the tiny potato.

Wrapping his arms around said flailing potato, albeit much bigger than a baby, Scott thought he would collapse then and there. Alan was here, in his arms, and yeah, the sight of his dirty and somewhat ripped up IR uniform made him mad, but Scott, for once in his life, decided to focus on the here-and-now, aka his precious, alive little brother, who finally stopped struggling at the realization that hey, the person holding you is a good guy, time to turn off fight mode.

Smushing their foreheads together as much as possible, Scott desperately fought to keep the waterworks back, a smile from ear to ear hopefully taking whatever energy his tear ducts had, “You are getting such an ass beating when we get home, little bro.”

Alan jumped back with a look of What the hell?! What did I do now?!

Scott simply rolled his eyes, “Really? “Not important”? You graduated high school, tiny dude! That’s huge! You remember Gordon’s party, right?”

Alan’s mouth gaped before he closed it with slightly puffy cheeks. Those same cheeks tinged with a small blush. Alan wasn’t exactly expecting to be smothered so soon (well, he did cry his eyes out on Virgil’s shoulder, but that was different!). Shaking it off, Alan moved his hands rhythmically and rapidly, To be fair, we weren’t sure he was going to get one for a while.

Scott faltered a little bit at the ASL. Darn, he should’ve seen Alan’s lack of talking from a mile away. Scott carefully hid his disappointment from Alan. Lord knew what the kid would take it as, “Yeah, that’s what he got for barely making it. Imagine what you’re going to get!”

Scott assumed his semi-fake charm worked, as Alan seemed to play along without any kind of suspicion, Oh yeah. Fair enough.

This kid, man.

Then, slow clapping came from a dark corner, making Scott’s heart leap out of his throat as well as push Alan behind himself. Glaring as much as he could towards the invisible evil-doer, Scott didn’t have to think twice, “Alan, take my map and find Virgil and Gordon.”

The youngest looked like he was going to object.

“Go.”

He no longer did. Good.

Listening to the field commander’s orders, Scott felt his wristband slip off his wrist and a warm body leave his vicinity. An inhale. Also good. An exhale, followed by an even darker glare, “What more do you want?”

Short and straight-to-the-point and angry, two things Scott typically wasn’t. Regardless, like a cold gust of wind, footsteps started approaching him from the shadow. Once Scott saw the outline of a body, he tensed even more. Virgil would snap at him for clenching his jaw so much.

A dark chuckle reminded him of what was important. The voice that spoke reminded him of something completely different, “Now then, brother, let’s not be rude to each other!”

Scott’s pupils shrunk at the familiar sight of Gordon stepping towards him. Except it wasn’t Gordon, because Scott knew that Gordon knew better. He also knew Gordon didn’t cheekily smile like that, even after a prank, nor did he walk that straight. He always had a funny walk after WASP, and Gordon wore that fact like a badge of honor.

Oh no, Scott definitely knew who this was, “What the hell are you playing at?”

Fake-Gordon rolled his eyes, like it wasn’t obvious, “I mean if we want to go that route, why did kid insist you being in the military was the coolest thing he’d ever heard you do? Maybe I wouldn’t have been pressured into joining a branch myself in the end.”

Scott’s nostrils flared, and by God, his pupils might have actually slitted like a snake’s, or possibly even a dragon’s, “Excuse me?”

Scott blinked, and suddenly he was met by not-Virgil, “Plus, why was our conclusion after hearing a three-year-old wanting to see snow to go to a ski resort? It had to have been those big, selfish, beady eyes, right?”

“C’mon, Scotty, we gotta give you some kind of calming exercise. There’s going to come a time when neither me or John are going to be there.”

“Hmm… does yoga work?”

A snort, “Well, that’s not too bad of an idea. Maybe the person pissing you off will stop whatever they’re doing at the sight of you spontaneously doing downward dog.”

Laughter, an unfamiliar action, “Yeah, okay, but for real, those breathing exercises I’ve seen you do look okay. Let’s start there.”

Scott was not a liar by heart. He had to admit that those exercises were doing jack shit right about now.

Another blink, another brother. Familiar ginger hair was all Scott could see, “To continue that previous point, why did Dad start International Rescue again? And what led to his demise?”

“Sounds like a piece of work. Why do you keep dealing with these people again?”

“Someone has to pay the bills, Johnny. Grandma’s too focused on making the perfect poison for us.”

A roll of eyes, “Right, because the billions we have saved wouldn’t be enough to last a couple of families a few lifetimes. Glad to see your calming exercises are working at least. How’s that going for you, by the way?”

A pause. A flicker of vision around the room. Someone cleared their throat, probably himself, “It’s probably not as bad as whatever space is throwing at you. You handling it okay up there?”

Another pause, followed by a sigh, “Well, since you asked so nicely…”

Scott wanted to deflect the truth so badly right now more than anything else. Telling him he couldn’t pilot ‘One anymore would be a much more enticing option than what he was hearing.

Suddenly, Scott was looking in a mirror, “Besides, I know more than anybody that he wasn’t wanted. A mistake. I thought we Tracys hated being imperfect?”

The Hood must have known their backstories from internet articles, and being the mastermind he was, it probably took him all of three seconds to see Alan had some hidden self-worth issues. By playing the biggest Guess Who? game of all time, The Hood was most likely able to figure out some less-than-positive ideals Alan thought about himself throughout his childhood and danced circles around his already weakened mind to string together some spineless blame to put on the kid by sheer evilness alone.

Knowing his kid brother, it worked.

Scott wasn’t thinking straight-- maybe even at all when the first punch was thrown.

Just like that, Scott blacked out and was running on terminator mode. John would be disappointed. Virgil would be horrified. Gordon might find it funny. Alan wasn’t here, and thank God for that. Scott wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing. All his mind was telling him was make lots of pain hard and fast. His brain also blocked out any hit The Hood was giving him in return. Pain flared for a few seconds, then it was swept away in the puddle of rage his mind was currently being consumed in.

Soon, his out-of-it mind found its target and gripped his-- The Hood’s arm, no disguise would make him have an identity crisis, thank you very much-- nice and rough.

Scott heard the familiar snap of cartilage and felt only partially bad. If he was thinking more clearly, he would be disgusted with himself. Yes, even The Hood didn’t deserve this level of Scott’s fury. Oh, he definitely deserved to be hit by a truck, but not by Scott. It was mostly due to Scott’s sanity. If he could be this graphic and violent at all, even to the worse possible criminals, that meant he could be that way during other moments, and that was not a territory he wanted to cross into.

Welp, he was here now, and he’ll hate to admit it in the future, but the only thing that brought him out of it was a tiny gasp from a few feet away. Snapping his head up, Scott’s eyes landed squarely on a smaller-than-normal Alan, who was currently clutching his arm to his chest in an emotion Scott didn’t want to figure out at the moment. So much for going and finding Virgil and Gordon.

“Allie, help…” fake him grunted out, only making real Scott growl and tighten his hold (and probably making his case worse). Looking up from the person in his arms, Scott felt his heart split in two at the sight. There was fear and uncertainty in Alan’s blue eyes and boy did it hurt. Scott couldn’t tell if it was because even seeing a potentially-fake Scott being beaten up was bad or if it was because he’d never seen big brother be this brutal, even towards their enemies. Whatever the reason, it involved Scott being the main root of the problem.

Wait, that was The Hood’s plan. Shit… make Scott act past the point of no return in a way that was unfamiliar to Alan so the kid couldn’t be fully sure who was who, and Scott fell right into his trap, hook, line, and sinker.

Fuck.

Bloody well done, Scott, you absolute moron.

Scott faltered a little bit, “A-Alan, I--”

That falter was enough for The Hood to break an arm out of his grip and elbow him in the face. In the brief second of freedom he had, he tried dashing towards Alan, but Scott was too quick for everyone’s good and soon had the imposter back in his arms, both of them struggling in a way that made them look like they were tied into the weirdest knot in existence.

Then, an earthquake struck.

No, literally.

A big shake of the abandoned compound threw the look-a-likes about and subsequently off the platform they were on. The place was old; it didn’t take a lot of weight for that guard rail they made their way over towards while fighting to snap right off. With a yelp, the two of them gripped the edge as much as they could and held on. Crap, I know we talked with Fuse about potentially setting some stuff off, but--

Blinking, Scott saw a familiar mop of blonde hair come into view. Alan was rather panicked, clearly not sure which Scott was the real Scott. Not only that, he had little time to decide which one to save. Goodie, another reason to despise The Hood: not only has he put Alan through weeks of torment, now he’s forcing the kid to decide to either save his oldest brother and biggest hero or his personal torturer.

And Alan won’t know until he picks.

Holy hell, this was getting worse by the second. Hopefully, big brother charm can work its magic and get them the hell out of there.

“Alan, quickly, over here!”

“I can’t hold on for much longer, Alan, hurry!”

The two Scotts glared at one another in the exact same way, not making Alan’s job much easier. Another shake, another slip down the metal cliff, more screams, and Alan looked ready to tear his hair out. Scott watched as the kid looked around rapidly, probably praying for a miracle in the process. Suddenly, the kid jumped when he must have spotted something important. Within the blink of an eye, he was gone and out of their range of visions to retrieve it.

Whatever the hell he noticed better be important, because if just ended up wasting precious time then--

Another shake, probably the last one. Still, it was enough.

Both their grips gave away at the same time, screams identical (God, did he always sound that wimpy?) as they plummeted to their demises. Scott was briefly able to look up to see his brother pop his head over the cliff like a chipmunk again and grab the (albeit broken) arm of The Hood and save him. Dammit, Scott should have expected that, though, that display of anger was uncharacteristic to Alan. Probably terrified him even more than he already was. Fuck, Scott deser--

Suddenly, a rope wrapped itself around Scott’s left arm and stopped his descent. Hard. Hopefully, it was only torn stuff, they didn’t have time to deal with dislocation--

Wait.

Scott wasn’t dead if he could think about these kinds of things.

Blinking, he looked at his arm to see the familiar rope of his grappling hook around his forearm. Moving his eyesight to look past that, he saw the wide, blue eyes of his baby brother struggling to stay on top. The Hood was using his non-broken side to try and climb his way back up to safety. Huh, that’s weird. When did Alan get ahold of that? Scott must have dropped it during his scuffle with--

That’s when it hit Scott.

Alan saved them both.

Alan saved them both.

And it would be all for jack shit if Scott didn’t get his ass up there to help.

Panicking, Scott gripped the rope and started to ascend. He had two working arms and a smother complex to boot; it wasn’t long before he overtook a struggling Hood, who could only use one arm and a weakened brother (that bastard was so lucky Alan had a literal heart of gold).

Flinging his arms over the edge and pulling himself up-- and shrugging off the extra help Alan offered. Save your strength, baby bro-- Scott was in a much calmer search-and-destroy mode. He yanked his evil look-a-like up, turned him on his stomach, pinned him down, and before he could even watch Alan blink, “Sign something.”

There, now he watched Alan blink.

Scott pulled out one of his best ‘big brother’ smiles ever, “Tell me something in ASL. I don’t think The Hood learned that kind of etiquette.”

The body beneath him growled, making Alan jump and Scott tighten not only his hold but his glare. Further prove big brother’s point, why don’t cha? He lost the angry look immediately to grin at Alan once more, who seemed to be slowly getting the picture. With a gulp, the blonde slowly strung together a sentence that Scott had to laugh at, just a little bit.

Damn, could you teach me to fight like that, Scooter?

Nodding his head, Scott had to concede, “Sure. Consider it a graduation present.”

Alan blinked again, and the immense relief that washed over the boy’s shoulders would be enough to banish nightmares for at least a couple of days. Suddenly, The Hood’s disguise blinked out of existence, making both brothers jump that time. Scott didn’t falter in his grip, however. This man was going down right here and now, Scott thought darkly, staring at the prone body beneath his.

Scott saw Alan continue to sign out of the corner of his eye, You know you look like shit, right?

Scott chuckled. Alan was always able to put a smile on his face no matter the circumstances, “Yeah, well, kindred spirits, little bro.”

Scott was probably as pale as Alan was with such lack of sleep and food. Running on what was essentially a prolonged PTSD attack wasn’t healthy in the slightest, and no doubt whatever kind of bruises and scratches The Hood gave him didn’t help, however, seeing hope fill those deep-blue eyes when Alan learned he was truly being saved drowned everything out, including the way those freckles were getting lost in those eye bags.

Yeah, their entire family probably looked like shit, and the recovery process was going to be even shittier, but they were going to suffer through it together as a family would.

That made it all worth it.

Shuffling himself so one arm was free while the other kept The Hood pinned, Scott held it out towards Alan. The flinch the youngest made tore a hole in Scott’s heart that was only slightly patched when Alan leaned into the warmth and safety of his biggest bro. Long recovery process, remember? Regardless, Alan still took to the hug like a dehydrated zebra did a pond, and that was good enough for Scott.

The Hood groaned underneath them.

Yep, good enough.

[cupsofsuga]

How would the Yandere boys react to their S/O calming them down. Like hugging, kissing, cuddling, anything when they’re upset

OH, TO BE IN PARIS  ━ YANDERE BTS REACTION*:･。.

WARNING - This is a yandere au, meaning the following may be triggering to some viewers.  I am not trying to discriminate the boys in any way, this is for entertainment purposes. Viewer discretion is advised!!!

Thank you for requesting, peanut!

KIM SEOKJIN

━━━ Red ink stains his fingertips while Seokjin writes and dreams of silk and Paris, fantasizing about a day where he can travel to the city of love with you and act as lovers would. He imagines an eternity where those heathens that fly around you like flies to honey can naturally vanish, and he can instead watch your eyes glimmer when you find some faux diamonds in the street corner. You two can eat cakes while watching old Hollywood movies in your hotel room as 60s French music echoes from out the door. You two can feel genuine, pale bliss.

But, sadly, this is not the reality you both live in.

You’re both stuck to live in the filthy streets of this deadbeat town with your strict parents, and Jin is just aching to scoop you up and drive out of this hellhole just like teens in love. But, nonetheless, ecstasy has been found as you hold him on the couch. You pet his hair, gently, as if it’s the softest thing you’ve ever laid your hands upon. You press delicate kisses to his temple here and there, whispering words of reassurance whilst you both drift off into empty slumber. Hours later, Jin wakes up, still nestled in your arms. His cheeks turn warm, the melody of the France daydream lulling within his heart. He escapes from your grip, quick to retrieve a pen and his notebook from his bedroom and returns. Jin gets comfortable, careful not to wake you, and continues writing this Paris fantasy that haunts his brain daily.

“Ah, ma beauté, you have no clue how blissful it is being here with you… If only I could be here forever…”

MIN YOONGI

━━━ Sitting on the white comforter of your bedroom, tears fall from Yoongi’s eyes as guilt drowns him and steals every breath he takes. You see, earlier that day, you had asked him to retrieve you some candy from the convenience store as he drove to the house. Agreeing with your request, he hung up minutes later with a quick but genuine “love you,” then made it to your house, no candy in hand. He had forgotten. You didn’t mind, shaking off the need for the sweet treat as it didn’t mean anything to you, but this meant everything to Yoongi. So, now, he nestles his head further into the nape of your neck as you read off French plays, speaking in the language with your honeyed voice.

Yoongi’s eyes shut and his mind takes him to France, maybe in the ’50s or ’60s. You both walk around the town of Paris, maybe stopping at a café to taste the Café Crème or to watch a play or two, which he knows you’ll love. He can listen to you speak in that voice he’s so infatuated with, feel the silken air of your breath fan against his ear as you hold and rock him into a deep slumber. You can show him The Louvre museum which you’ve blabbered your infatuation for or shove sweet cakes into your mouth and you two giggle with mouths full of frosting. Yoongi can twist the storyline of his life and turn into a loofah prince that wanders the street of Paris, jewels and diamonds littered all over his suit when he finally makes eye contact with his prince/princess, where you stand in all of your glory under the Eiffel Tower. But for now, he must stay cradled in your arms on a particularly gloomy day in August, and the revelation is heavenly.

“Mon Coeur… I’m so, so sorry that I have forgotten about the candy. I will do better! I promise!! But, please, just for now… Don’t let me go…”

JUNG HOSEOK

━━━ “I had a dream just now,” you speak to the starry-eyed boy beside you, tears falling down his cheeks. “I had a dream of you and me,” you pause to cough, “— we were in Paris together, sitting on a balcony which overviewed the Eiffel Tower. There were roses and cups of coffee and a book, but I can’t quite recall the name, heh… I want to take you there someday, Hobi, and we can fulfill the dramatic, France dream I had.“ No, you weren’t dying, just a phony cold was what came over you. But, God, did Hoseok smother you. Chocolates, medicine, flowers, whatever could bring you back to health. He craves your touch, your soul, your silhouette in the bedroom when he comes home from school.

Hoseok aches for you and the last thing the weak and sensitive boy will do is let a few germs crawl between you two.

You motion for Hoseok to crawl into bed with you as he sniffles. Poor Hoseok has been crying so much, you can’t recall the last moment he looked mundane. Maybe before this virus chose you, you conclude. He sniffles and hiccups some more as he maneuvers his way into your embrace, clinging onto you so tightly, you fear he might shatter a bone or two, laughing at how needy the poor boy is. Hoseok digs his face into the nape of your neck, inhaling your sugary scent, letting a few more tears fall. And as the sun sets in the horizon, a smile arises on Hoseok’s face. No, there’s no Eiffel Tower in view, but that fantasy is irrelevant at this moment. You, with your stuffy nose and groggy voice, are holding him so, so delicately, as if he was the most precious thing in the world, which he was. Hoseok clings onto you, so, so, tightly as if letting go meant the void would pull him into a deathly embrace. Both of you wander into a deep slumber, dreams of tea and roses wrapped with silk enrapturing your minds. Oh, to be in Paris, you whisper.

“Oh, Mon Nounours… It hurts me so much seeing you so weak… Please, oh, please come back to health soon…”

KIM NAMJOON

━━━ Tears won’t stop falling as pedestrians mock and scold Namjoon as he passes through them, pushing and shoving their bodies in hopes of finding you. His mind is foggy, his logic has departed from him. The only thing he could process within his head was, where is Y/N? He pretends that his skin is your skin and his hands are your hands in a pathetic attempt to soothe himself. He’s choking on salt water, swimming in a million seas and feels the departure from your presence suffocate him. Crying has become inevitable as he stumbles into an alleyway, sitting on the filthy ground against the wall and sobbing for his lost lover, right before he hears a small “Joon?” from a distance. Hazy-eyed, he looks to the sound and sees you in all of your godly glory.

As you awake, cradled in the sheets of your bed, you hear faint echoing of French music. It’s delicate and blissful, almost rocking you back into a peaceful slumber, but Namjoon isn’t here, which grows confusion within your brain. Ordinarily, like any other morning, he refuses to leave the bed without you, claiming it would be wasted time without clinging onto you like a lifeline, so, stirring awake without feeling yourself locked in his embrace was quite… odd. Especially for the events that had taken place the day before, he didn’t want to let you out of his sight for a damn second. You stumble out of bed and into the kitchen with a foggy mind, catching sight of your boyfriend by the stove and inhaling the scent of food that seemed holy. French music, which you’ve exclaimed your love for, echoes in your eardrums and you feel a sudden peace take over you. You then are reminded of your previous trip to Paris, which causes you to smile, catching the attention of Namjoon.

“Oh! Good morning, mon ange! I wanted to do something for you to pay for the comfort you gave me yesterday, and to apologize for my clingy- ah… childish behavior… Um, do you remember the first morning we spent in Paris when I cooked for you? Surely, it won’t be as good as the food there, but, we must go there again, right? Anything to be with my angel…”

PARK JIMIN

━━━ Fantasies of Paris crawl around Jimin’s mind. Living in a manor of some sort with paintings he fears might move and music that can be deemed creepy by some, but causes Jimin to fall into a deep slumber. He dreams of maroon walls lit by candlelight, where he then spots his lover nose deep into some F. Scott Fitzgerald book of some sort, Jimin didn’t care. He can feel the swelling in his heart grow stronger as he approaches you, then proceeding to sit in your lap as an attempt to win your attention. He succeeds and feels that flare of bliss spark inside him when you smile and offer him your affections. The fantasy ends with him cuddling into the nape of your neck as you read to him. Jimin couldn’t care less about the plot, but rather, the delicate pitter-patter of each syllable that leaves your mouth. But when Jimin stirs awake only to find himself completely alone, the dream morphs into a living nightmare.

And just like that, Jimin has lost all sign of hope.

You open the door with your foot, hands too busy wrapped around plastic bags to open normally. The bags now sit on the kitchen counter as confusion laps your mind, where is Jimin? Normally, he’d be at your side like a puppy if you left the house for longer than a minute, so this reality was odd. You enter the bedroom, finding Jimin curled up in sheets and pillows, crying for his lover. His blurred vision catches sight of your form, and alas, he can feel eccentric. That devil-embraced, gentle soul he’s sparked an infatuation for. Haunted eyes that contain the stars and hellfire, entirely an inhuman being. You hold two hot chocolates in your palms, worry bleeding through your expression. Jimin cries and is quick to throw you into an embrace that you can barely breathe in, but bliss flows through his veins, and for now, you’ll have to live with that. Now, for the remainder of the day and onwards, you’ll have to live with this man-child clinging onto you like a lifeline in his little haven of deluded euphoria. Not like you mind, though.

“Oh, mon nounours… Please! Don’t ever scare me like that again!! I-I don’t know what I’d do if you left and never came back…! No!! It hurts! Get it out of my head!!”

KIM TAEHYUNG

━━━ In the dead of night, where Taehyung was most alive, he places a letter on your bedside. Your name is written with red ink in calligraphy, the dust of dead stars written inside within each letter. The moon is held high and the big, bad wolf ventures out of the cave, bloodlust within his eyes. But, for just this once, he’s eccentric. He’s found genuine tranquility within himself, without the burdening fear of arrows through his skin on his shoulders. Taehyung stands over your sleeping form and dreams of a universe where he is human and can be admired by your form, instead of feared and avoided. Maybe, just in this universe, you both could be star-crossed lovers who meet in the streets of Paris and are quick to recognize your inevitable infatuation with each other. It’s only a fantasy, but if only…

Dawn blooms, you’ve awakened and finally catch sight of the letter.

You open the letter and find the infatuation with Paris bleeding with every ink stain. The letter is written so neatly with calligraphy, you almost can’t make out some of the words like a child who sets eyes on cursive. The melody of the stars glistening above the city of love fill your ears, and for now, unreasonable euphoria has been found. The letter compares your face to the heavens, your personality to the uniqueness of every star and the writer shares their fear from a new feeling such as this. The writer then proceeds to finish off with a statement, telling you, the reader, how he wishes to take you to Paris and show you sights you’ve never seen, all whilst both of you drown in your obsession. You close the letter when he signs off with, Sincerely, Your One and Only Lover, Taehyung. You’re then left to wonder about the face that belonged to the secret admirer and are completely oblivious to the face stalking outside the window, who finds bliss within every breath you take.

“Ma belle… If only you didn’t see me as such a beast, then we could finally be lovers… If only you loved me as intensely as I love you, then you’d realize we’re soulmates! God, if only…”

JEON JUNGKOOK

━━━ Storms broom, tornado alarms ring, and Jungkook finds himself in the pit of the void, calls for help or mercy have been deemed pathetic and helpless. He begs his sanity and the stars for this rumor to be a ridiculous lie, but they remain silent, teasing and toying with Jungkook’s mentality. He feels the flowers that bloom within his heart fall and decompose, he feels the stardust within his veins turn to the ashes of nightmares and feels the warmth in his heart suffer from a sudden drop in temperature, all while he asks himself on repeat, was it true? Were you dating that dense jock?

Finally, with tear-dimmed cheeks, the rumors were confirmed false and Jungkook can alas feel euphoria fill his heart.

Midnight returns, Jungkook is wide awake. But, then again, how could he sleep? He can still feel the caress of your touch, which is sweeter than any treat in Paris. He can listen to the gentle symphony of your voice which reassures and soothes him, which is more melodious than any harmony that echoes in the streets of Paris at 3 AM. He can feel the caress of your delicate lips against his, finding eternal ecstasy within every millisecond of the kiss, shutting his eyes and imagining you both under the Eiffel Tower, loving each other so warmly and intensely. Hours walk by him, you still won’t slip from his mind. Jungkook concludes that he needs you at this moment, needs your touch, your voice, your kiss, anything that has relation to you! Which is exactly what he does. Picking the lock was easier than thought, hastily climbing into your bedroom. He finally finds you tucked under the sheets, sleeping with the delicacy of a fawn. His heart soars and his mind turns foggy. Jungkook has become an infatuated, dizzy mess and the reasoning lies within your palms.

“Mon trésor, heh… You truly have no idea how fucking in love with you I am… It consumes me-, just this moment right now is consuming me as I speak! God… You make it so hard to exist without you, even for just a second…”

[gwuncanisbetterthanduncney]

TOTAL DRAMA ALL STARS season 5 episode 5

 this is what I think Gwen should have done and what should have happened in episode 5 and afterwards in Gwen’s perspective.I might do Duncan or Courtney’s next,and I might do another season,idk.And,yes,I know I’m like,10 years late.

this is my first story/fanfic,so please go easy on me

Ever since we got  there,Duncan only cared about getting under Courtney’s skin,and its TOTALLY ANNOYING!!!!The only reason I went back to that disgusting place was to make up with Courtney.Even though, I DID NOTHING WRONG!!!!!They were broken up WAY before Duncan and I started.And WHY WAS I A VILLAIN??????????

When Heather started acting all ‘nice’ in this weeks challenge,I knew something was up,but i just tried to keep my distance.Then i saw an opportunity to make amends with Courtney,or at least start to.I took it and I was SO close,but she just had to remember that she wanted to see my head on a spike!

I can’t believe my team were even considering crossing that rope bridge!It’s like, the most obvious thing in a movie!The rope bridge snaps,and most of the time,someone dies.I WAS NOT TAKING THAT CHANCE!So,I decided to take the long way.I might have been alone,against a bunch of killer,wild animals,but at least if I was gonna die,I wasn’t going to fall to my death off of a dang rope!

I have to admit, it was pretty cool of Duncan to save me from those chipmunks,or whatever they were.If only he had stayed that cool the whole time!I mean seriously!Why does he even care if Courtney said anything about him?Shouldn’t he be less focused on his ex-girlfriend and more focused on me,his ACTUAL GIRLFRIEND and the competition????But no,he’s WAY too cocky for that,and thinks that Courtney’s still obsessed with him,like he is about her.I mean,PUH LEASE!She’s happy with Scott,let her be!

When I saw Courtney in trouble,I really hoped that if I saved her,she would finally forgive me for the whole Duncan thing,and we could move on in our lives.Then,everyone would see that I’m really a Hero,not a VILLAIN,and that I really didn’t mean all of those horrible accidents that happened to her.Plus,even though Courtney and I were busy fighting of a deadly deer,we still won!I was SO happy!Another night in a luxury hotel!!!!!!

The last straw for me with Duncan was at the Elimination Ceremony,when Duncan tried to comfort me with a kiss on the cheek,AND ASKED IF COURTNEY WAS WATCHING!!!!!!!!!I finally snapped.”WHY DO YOU CARE????” I screamed.”Look Duncan,I know that you don’t like Courtney,and you’re trying to get under her skin,but I’m sick of it!Ever since we got here,all you’ve cared about is Courtney,YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND!You need to get this into your thick scull:the only reason I came back here is to make up with her,and the only reason you’re here is because I’m here,right?”Duncan nodded”Right,so you need to stop putting so much effort into your ex-girlfriend and more effort into me,your actual girlfriend and our relationship!Oh,and you need to stop caring what everyone thinks about you!!!!!Ever since you got switched over the the Hero’s, its all you care about.WHO CARES IF YOU’RE A BAD BOY OR A GOODY GOODY??I’ll still love you all the same!If you don’t stop,I’m done,I can barely take it anymore “

I turned to Courtney”Courtney,I am so sorry about everything that has happened between us,even though I really don’t think I did anything wrong,I am so sorry about how everything went down.I really only came back to make up with you,and I’m sorry if you can’t forgive me.”

After my ‘speech’,I stormed back to the hotel,and locked myself in a small bedroom.There was NO way I was going to sit through an entire Elimination Ceremony after that.

Courtney came to my room about an hour later.

She knocked and waited outside the door forever.I eventually opened the door.

“Hey.........”she said as she entered the room.

“Hi.....................”I replied.What was I supposed to say?

“Look,I’m so sorry I wouldn’t forgive you.Or at least hear you out about it.I really appreciate how you came back just to make it up to me!”Courtney said after a long silence.”And by the way,you were right,we were over before you started dating..........Can you ever forgive me????

I was almost in tears.Finally,someone admitted that I wasn’t the boyfriend stealing,new Heather!!!!!

“Of course!!!!!!!!I muttered,in between sobs

SEASON 5 EPISODE 6

I was so happy to wake up and find Cameron on our team.Finally someone nice!I really wasn’t in the mood for some dumb challenge,but,I also needed a distraction.Plus I was curious if Duncan would take my words seriously.

I got seriously scared when Chris told u what the challenge was.But,to my surprise,Duncan stayed with me the entire time,even though we’re on different teams.He was actually really sweet.Half way through the challenge,Duncan pulled me aside and apologized.He told me that he just felt self conscious about losing his ‘bad boy’ exterior,and he didn’t want me to think he was a sissy or that its not cool to be in a relationship with a ‘do-gooder’ or something like that.I told him he was sweet,but really stupid,I mean,as if doing something kind would put me off being in a relationship with him.The thing that put me off was his arrogance,cocky-ness and how he was pretending to be something he’s not.

Then he stopped me,pulled me in close and we kissed

After that,Duncan really started to change.He stopped trying to get to Courtney,and finally started to focus on our relationship.And the competition.When Duncan stopped caring what everyone thought of him,he actually did start to go back to being a bad boy,which I could see he was happy about.

SEASON 5 EPISODE 7

I was so focused on the whole Duncan and Courtney thing that I didn’t even really notice who was on my team.Courtney,obviously.Which now was great because she finally forgave me,Cameron,who I really didn’t know,but I was really happy to get to know,because he seems like a really nice person,Scott,who was one of the 2 actual villains on the Villain team.Yeah,he was weird,but it was so obvious that Courtney liked him,so,I had to be nice to him.If I was on his good side,I could stay on Courtney’s good side.

And last but not least,Alejandro.There was NO WAY I was ever going to trust that guy!There really isn’t much to say,except for the fact that he was definitely the most villainous of all the Villains.

“hey babe.”Duncan said as I walked over to him.He seemed really down.I knew Duncan seemed off.Something was bothering him,so,I asked him.I COULD’NT BELIEVE IT!!!!Mike was in JUVIE????But he was called Mal??That made no sense,I mean,MIKE!!!When I wasn’t focused on Duncan and Courtney,I did notice that Mike was acting a bit strange,but I still couldn’t believe that HE went to juvie.Duncan left to go tell Zoey.I didn’t think that was such a good idea.I mean if I was in doubt,there was no way Zoey would believe him.Especially since Duncan had gone back to his old ways of being ‘the delinquent’.I didn’t have time to ask Duncan how she reacted,because Chris started explaining the challenge.”Great,another day of pain.”I thought.

I knew something had to be up with this challenge when Scott had to fight Fang and Sierra had to fight her........creature’s mother.Scott was SO MESSED UP after his fight with Fang,and I was SO happy when Courtney let me help.I was really glad we were friends again!!

I have to admit,when I saw Alejandro’s older brother,I was in awe.I know he told us that he was better than him at everything,but I guess I had to see it to believe it.But it was no surprise how he felt about Heather.It was more obvious that they were in love than me and Duncan,and we’re an ACTUAL COUPLE!!!

When I saw Mike take down Izzy,I kinda started to believe Duncan even more.The Mike that I knew,even vaguely,WOULD NOT be able to take down that psycho chick!

I know it looked bad,that Duncan couldn’t take down some stupid bird,but I respected him for it.YEAH it was just a bird,but Duncan wouldn’t hurt something so helpless.I know he was disappointed in himself,but like I said,I RESPECTED HIM FOR IT and I told him so.He still seemed upset,so I gave him a hug and pulled him in for a kiss.He seemed to cheer up after that,but I hated that he was doubting himself so much.I thought he was really noble to turn down that fight!

It was my turn next,and I couldn’t believe they actually wanted me to fight Courtney!Right after we made up and were best friends again!

We obviously refused,until Chris pulled out those Gwuncan videos Sierra made.I could tell Courtney was getting angry,so I simply said:”Look,Courtney,we’re passed this,and we agreed to be friends!You told me you were OVER Duncan!”

There was a long pause.I had no idea what to do!”Should I be getting ready to fight?”I thought to myself

“You’re right!Sorry Chris,but I’m not fighting my best friend!”Courtney finally replied

I was so happy!!!!!!This was confirmation that she really did forgive me!!!!I pulled her into a huge hug and ran over to Duncan.I didn’t care if our team lost or not.I was SO happy!!!

When Chris told us that we got to choose who went home,it was an obvious choice.Sierra.She was going crazy without her phone and Cody.Well,crazier.

I was so glad Alejandro was gone for the night!I always felt uneasy with him around.

I felt horrible eliminating Sierra,but Duncan did help me through it and made me laugh a lot.He also reassured me that she would be happier,cause she would be with Cody again.

I know it sounds like Duncan’s gone soft,but he really hasn’t.He’s sweet around me sometimes,like when I’m upset,but with everyone else,he’s just how he used to be.Which I appreciate.I love that he is himself when he’s around me and everyone in camp,dark and spooky,but when he realizes I’m upset or need to talk about something,he switches.He’s kind,sweet and understanding.

I don’t want it to seem like I wanted him to change,I think he just needed a reality check,which I’m sure he would agree with now,and that’s exactly what I gave him.

SEASON 5 EPISODE 8

I woke up that morning feeling AMAZING!Courtney and I were friends again,everything was back on track with Duncan,I slept in the most comfortable bed ever,in the most amazing hotel ever and I had the best dream...........ever.I dreamt that I was riding a fluffy unicorn ,across clouds made of marshmallows!

Courtney and I started to talk and I confessed that a couple days before I was ready to quit,but because we were friends again,and me and Duncan had the best relationship ever,I never wanted it to end!

“I hope we make it to the finale together.”Courtney said,smiling.

“What about Scott?”I asked

Then,Courtney said something that made me even HAPPIER.I didn’t think that was possible “He’s cool and all,but like you say,you gotta put friends first!”

Like I said,I was really happy that she said that,and meant it,but what about Duncan?He was my boyfriend after all!

The more I thought about it,the more I realized that my dream was to have Duncan AND Courtney in the finale with me.After that,there would be no alliances,no bias.And we would all try our best and see who won.Before,those two in the finale with me would have seemed like a nightmare,with them fighting all the time,but,Duncan had realized that Courtney and I were friends and there was nothing he could do about it.And Courtney realized that Duncan and I were in love,and just because they didn’t work out,doesn’t mean that the same would happen to us.

Before the challenge,Duncan decided to drive Chef’s truck into the ocean,I don’t know why,probably because he was bored,or wanted to prove a point,but it was HILARIOUS watching Chef get all mad,which,of course,made Duncan happy,and then he saw me laughing and found it even funnier!He really was a sight for sore eyes!

When I heard that the teams were being merged,I was so happy!Now,not only could I spend time with Courtney,but I could spend time with Duncan,not just walking to,from,and during challenges!I walked straight over to Duncan and kissed him.

For that days challenge,we had to race all around the island in boats that barely floated!

Of course Duncan and I went together,but Alejandro got the best boat,so we jumped into the other speedboat.

I looked back and saw Courtney and Scott jump on to the raft with Zoey and Cameron.I would have gone back for her,considering she was my best friend,but we were too far ahead.

I don’t know how Mike got so far ahead of us in a measly fishing boat,but, I was glad to see Alejandro’s engine stalling.And so was Duncan.”Having a little engine trouble Al???”Duncan laughed as we sped past him.

We managed to avoid all of the coconuts in Coconut Alley,but when I looked back,I saw that Courtney got hit,and I got seriously worried!But she bounced back just like she always does.

Eventually,our engine stalled,and even the guys on the RAFT passed us with their new motor.Duncan went to the top of the boat and started paddling while I tried to fix the engine.And of course,to make a bad situation worse,Chris just had to swoop down and remind us that Mike was winning.........and we were in last place.

I eventually got the engine going again,and we went as fast as we could,but it just wasn’t enough.We came in second,and would have won,but Alejandro’s NOSE passed the finish line before we did.I was so sure we were gonna win,but Alejandro beat us by a split second.

I wasn’t that bummed when Alejandro was being a jerk about bringing someone to the hotel because as corny as it sounds,I just wanted to spend time with Duncan,and i couldn’t do that if one of us was in the 5 star hotel.Not that Alejandro would bring either of us anyway!

At the Elimination Ceremony,I was SO glad to hear that there would be no Boney Island!That place is HORRIBLE!!!!And then,when I thought it couldn’t get any better,Chris told us that there also wouldn’t be anyone going home.I knew there was probably a catch,but,I just didn’t care.

As we were saying goodnight,Duncan slipped a note into my hand and went to the guys side of the cabin.

I waited until I was in bed to read it,and I kept it from Courtney.I don’t know why,I just felt like she ‘wouldn’t approve’ or something.Anyway,the note said

     “Gwen,if you feel like having some fun,meet me at the mess hall at 2.A.M.Everythings funner at night <3 ;]Make sure no 1 sees u.Especially Courtney.</p>

When I read the note,I was so glad I waited till everyone was in bed.I decided to wait up until then.It was 10:30pm so I only had to wait 4 and a half hours..............no problem.

I dozed off a few times,but eventually the time came to go meet Duncan.I got  dressed and made my way to the mess hall.He saw me before I saw him,so Duncan decided to sneak up to me,grab me,and of course,kiss me.We walked over to where he was waiting for me,and I saw that he had a lot of toilet paper and eggs.I could see where he was going with this,but I decided to play dumb.

“Duncan,what are these for?”I asked,trying to sound as dumb as possible.

“WHAT DO YOU THINK BABE?We’re gonna tp and egg the camp.Especially the hotel.”Duncan replied.”UNLESS YOU’RE TOO CHICKEN!”and he started clucking like a chicken.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA,great plan,bad boy,but first,I have two questions.

1.Where’d you find all the eggs and toilet paper.And 2.Why didn’t you want me to tell Courtney?”

“Oh come on,Pasty,you need to start comin up with better questions!

1.I was looking around the hotel last night,and found a huge cellar full of cool stuff.And 2.She would follow you,take a video of us and sue the show to have us kicked off.Just to get herself closer to the million bucks.”

I really didn’t wanna laugh,because we were friends again,but I couldn’t help it.It was so accurate it hurt!

We probably stood there laughing for the next 10 minutes laughing.

We finally got it together,grabbed as much toilet paper and eggs as we could carry and made our way over to the hotel.

It was so much fun TP-ing and egging the hotel.And it was the only time alone me and Duncan had since we got there.We finished,and one thing led to another.Next thing I knew we were on the ground making out.Don’t judge me,okay.I know we were outside,and I was still trying to secure Courtney’s trust,and she probably still hated me on the inside,but,I couldn’t help myself.

SEASON 5 EPISODE 9

We finally left,happy with our work,at about 04:30 in the morning and went to bed,only to get about 2 hours of sleep,when we were woken up by Chris’s screaming.We all went out to see what was wrong,and for a minute,I actually forgot everything that happened that night.........Until I looked at the resort.Duncan and I burst out laughing,until I remembered that Chris would probably make us clean it up if he knew me and Duncan did it,so I dug him in the sides and tried to cover my laughter with a fake cough.

It was seriously hard not to laugh at Chris and Chef’s reactions!

After we went behind the hotel and laughed ‘till our sides hurt,Duncan and I eventually went up to the library.I was going to go over to Courtney,but saw she was cuddling up to Scott,and thought it would just be better to ask her about it later,so I went to stand with Cam and Duncan.I had no idea why,but Cameron seemed really cold towards me,and acted like I didn’t exist.

I decided to think about it later,and to focus on the competition right then.I couldn’t believe that Chris was planning a PARTY.I was already getting scared when Chris was listing off the things ‘he hoped no one was allergic to’,but when I saw ZEKE,I kinda started to freak out.But as usual,Duncan was there to calm me down.Courtney even helped!

Like I said I was freaking out when I just SAW Zeke,but when Chef said he wanted us to HUNT FOR HIM,I really started to freak.NO WAY WAS I DOING THAT.I didn’t even LIKE Chris!

Then Chef agreed to that reward........................

There was no way I was going in there alone,so I naturally made Duncan swear on his life that he WOULD NOT LEAVE ME IN THERE,like Trent did when I was buried alive.And yes,I’m still mad about it.I’m really going to sound like Courtney right now,but,to make sure he didn’t leave me in a cold,dark pit,I tied a rope around both of our waists.Its not that I thought Duncan would leave me in there,but I had to be sure.I did think the same with Trent,after all.

We ran to the mines and tried to find a way in.I really wanted to win that reward,but,I was kinda distracted.Duncan noticed and asked me what was wrong,so I told him about Cameron,and that I had no idea what he could be mad about.As always,Duncan calmed me down,told me to forget about Cam and reminded me what was on the line.Aswell as reminding me that ‘I should be paying more attention to him,cause,he was much hotter’.As usual his joke made me focus again and I got my head back in the game.

“Hey Pasty,”Duncan called from a few meters away,still connected to the rope “This must me the entrance.Come on.”And before I could turn to look,I felt myself being pulled down a long,dark tunnel.

“DUNCAAAAAAANNNNN!”I screamed when I eventually hit the ground. “Where are you??????HEEEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPP!!!!”

 “Babe,it’s fine,I’m right here.No need to panic.”I heard Duncan say as he hugged me tight.Again,he made me feel better,but after about 5 seconds I came to my senses and grabbed my flashlight.I tried to turn it on but the batteries were dead.I started to freak out again,and then we heard Zoey calling my name as she jumped down the hole.I moved out of the way,but she landed right on top of Duncan.

“OMG Duncan,I am so sorry!Are you alright??”

“Whatever,I’m fine!”Duncan said,obviously really annoyed at Zoey.

“Oh,thank goodness!”Then she turned to me “Gwen,are you okay?I heard you screaming.”Zoey said,clearly worried for me.

“Look,I’m fine Zoey,but we can’t just stand here in the dark,we,ve gotta get out of here.Try your flashlights.”

They tried them and suddenly,we had light.I’ve never been so happy to see a flashlight working before in my life!

We made our way down the mine,when I started hearing grunting sounds.Again,I was freaking out and didn’t even let Zoey or Duncan speak.Then,in the middle of my mindless yabbering,I heard Zoey screaming.Next thing I knew,her flashlight was on the floor and I couldn’t see Zoey anywhere.Neither could Duncan.

“You know what?,Forget this!”I shouted as I walked away,trying to find an exit.

“Gwen?Where are you going?”I heard Duncan call behind me.

“Where do you think?I’m not gonna sit and wait for Zeke to come and stuff me in a bag!” I said,rolling my eyes at him.

 “Good point.......”I heard Duncan say to himself.He thought about it for a second but then ran to join me.

“Then I’m coming with you.Where’s the exit?”

“My hero”I exclaimed sarcastically.”Anyway,I have no idea.Lets just have a look around”

While we were looking around,I saw Cameron laying in the river.Me and Duncan ran to pull him out,and,when he tried to hug us,Duncan pushed him back in the water.I helped him out again,and I was so happy when he said that he trusted me again,but,when he said that ‘Mike had him going’,I started to believe Duncan’s theory of Mike being dangerous even more.The old Mike wouldn’t want Cam to think bad of anyone!

I was going to tell Cameron that we were leaving,but he ran off before I got the chance.Duncan wanted to leave him and get out of there,but,I couldn’t just let my friend run into a radio-active mine and leave him there.So,we had to follow him.

We saw the streamers and I wanted to turn back,but,Duncan,Cameron and Chef ran into the mine.And I was NOT going to stay there by myself.

“I’ll distract Zeke,you get Chris,you saved my life.I owe you this!”Cameron told me and Duncan,before he ran in front of Zeke.

“Get Chris!”Duncan screamed as he ran out after Cameron.

Duncan was a few feet behind Cameron,so he was fine when Cam was buried in rocks.Duncan straight away started pulling them off of him while I shot Zeke with the Spaghetti Gun.

I threw Chris on the ground and ran over to help Duncan get the rocks off of Cameron.We ran out of the mine and went to the campfire for elimination,but,there was no need,because,Cameron was too hurt to keep going.I felt really bad,but,at least he helped me win the prize before he went.......

SEASON 5 EPISODE 10

“OMG,how much more dangerous can these challenges even get?” was all I could think when Chris was explaining the ‘Obsta-kill-course’.Before the challenge,Zoey told me how Alejandro LET Cam fall in the mines.Man,I knew he was evil,but I didn’t think even he was THAT evil.So,yeah,I agreed to voting him off with Zoey and Mike.Even if I didn’t know which version of Mike was in control.

“Oh,great,murderous tires”I thought when I was running through them.And on top of that stupid challenge,I had Alejandro wanting to form an alliance with me!Even after what he did to Cam.It made me sick just to look at him.

When I finally made it passed the tires,surprisingly still in 1 piece,I got to the ropes.What is wrong with those people?I mean,ropes made out of dog hair,electrical wires and LICORICE!?How were we supposed to climb a rope made of licorice?!

Me and Zoey were just laughing and joking about my DISGUSTING rope,when suddenly,I heard Courtney shouting below 

“You two better not be talking about me kissing Scott and Cameron!!”

“You kissed Cameron?!” I screamed.HOW COULD SHE?After all the crap she gave me for kissing Duncan,when they were broken up,she went and kissed Cameron......WHILE SHE WAS WITH SCOTT!!!!!

“I f we survive this,you and I are having a little chat,Courtney.”And I knew exactly what I wanted to say to that two faced little witch!But,at the moment I had to focus on winning.

I finally reached_ the snapping bars_,the thing I’m worst at.......When I was growing up,I could never get all the way across,so,I don’t know how I did it in the challenge.Probably had something to do with the fact that I was hanging above a pond filled with snapping turtles,and seeing Mike,or was it Mal,fall in and get bitten. 

And,of course,when I was SO close to winning,Courtney wanted to talk about her cheating on Scott.”Sorry Courtney,I don’t have time for your lies right now,”and I ran off,leaving her dumbfounded behind the rocks.

Because I ran off,I got to the zipline first.I opened my backpack and took my equipment out.I really thought I was going to win,but,Zoey passed me by an inch!I looked back and saw Mike(or Mal) hanging onto Alejandro.”Smart move”I thought.But,it didn’t end so well,and they fell into the water.Duncan came third,Courtney was fourth and Scott,was dead last.We were waiting for Scott when I realized that I hadn’t seen Duncan for the entire challenge. “Where were you all this time?”I asked.

“Don’t worry about it Pasty.”is all he would say,which got me annoyed,but,I had bigger problems so,I ignored his teasing.

On the way back to camp,I told Duncan about Courtney kissing Cam and Scott,and that I was really annoyed about it.He started going off!He was so mad.

“How could she,after all the kicks to the kiwis,all the screaming,all the arguments,all the hate we put up with!?!?”

“I know,just,let me talk to her later.If shes not voted off......”

“Fine,but you know I’m sure as Hell gonna vote her off!”

And that was the end of the conversation.

At the Elimination Ceremony,it was obvious who was going home,and I could tell Duncan was not happy about it.When Alejandro’s name was called,Duncan went red!I knew he was annoyed at Courtney,like a lot,but I asked him to let me talk to her before he said or did anything.

The night before,I decided I did not want to stay in that hotel anymore.Chris is so weird and as cheesy as it sounds,I missed going asleep and waking up with and near my best friends and my boyfriend.But,because I didn’t want my reward,Chris decided that I had to go to Boney Island!

SEASON 5 EPISODE 11

“Man,Boney Island was rough,well,up until that Woolly Beaver tried to eat me and I climbed a tree and slept in the canopy.It was actually pretty relaxing.” “Well,at least you got some kind of break from this dump,”Duncan said kicking a rock. “Wow”Zoey said simply.Then,Courtney did something really weird! “Yeah,what a nightmare.Luckily,Gwen is super smart and totally strong,so she lived to tell the tale” she said hugging me.I smiled,really weirded out while everyone else rolled their eyes.

“Well,welcome back Gwen.”Zoey said in her usual,sweet voice.I smiled,until I heard Courtney mocking her under her breath.”What!?” I shouted. “Oh,nothing,I was just noticing that cutthroat vibe Zoey has about her.So two-faced.We should shun her.” I was about to say no when I heard Duncan behind me.I turned and he said “Please don’t tell me you’re really gonna ‘shun’ your friend because Princess over here wants you to.” “No,no i’m not.”I said,leaving Courtney dumbfounded on her own.

Courtney caught up with us and I asked Duncan to go on ahead.I decided to talk to her there about kissing Scott and Cam. “Are you still mad at me for all the kissing I did,because Scott was an accident and Cameron kissed me!” she asked “Yes,I’m still mad at you!You gave me and Duncan so much crap because of World Tour even though you were broken up,but,when you do it,everyone is supposed to act like it never happened.And it’s even worse because you and Scott were actually together when ‘Cameron kissed you’ and everyone knew it!” “I know,and I’m so sorry,but I really don’t want to lose you as a friend over some guy again!Can we just put all this behind us?”she pleaded. “So you still wanna go all the way to the finale with me?” “Gwen,I promise.It’s you and me,right to the end.” “Ok then,but so I know I can trust you,you have to vote for whoever I tell you at the Elimination.” “Deal”.And we ran to catch up with everyone else.

Then we ran into Scott. “H-Hey Courtney,you’re looking really,uh,goop,AH,good!I mean,you know,gice,NICE!Agh........UGH!”I started laughing as Courtney really awkwardly thanked him. “Yeah,anytime.And,hey,if you need any help lifting anything,just let me know.”And he did dome cringe yawn and stretch thing,talking about his arms being like a cheetah’s.I started gagging and Courtney and I were laughing and joking,and I was so happy.I did what I went there to do.Courtney ACTUALLY forgave me!

Scott caught up to Mike and Zoey,while Duncan came over to Courtney and I and put his arm around me,like he usually does.I was happy with how me and Courtney’s conversation went,but I knew Duncan wouldn’t be,so I was trying to figure out a way to tell him about it and keep him calm,when I heard Scott talking to Mike and Zoey in the distance. “Hope you two got lots of sleep,’cause I’m feeling as strong as an ox.” “Don’t you mean ‘strong as a rat’?”Scott gave him a confused look,so Mike said “OH,you haven’t seen Courtney’s chart!?”Courtney gasped,and we ran over as Mike pulled out a chart,1st with Duncan drawn as a devil,then with Mike and Zoey drawn somewhat normally and me,drawn with horns and a red nose,all with big red X’s going through them,and finally,there was Scott,drawn with a rat tail,with a big green tick beside it.

“Second last!? ‘right to the end,my butt!”I said as I walked away,Duncan close behind,shooting her a dirty look.

I could hear Scott complaining about Courtney drawing him with a tail,then joining me and Duncan,and Courtney desperately tried to explain. “Oh please,even you can’t talk your way out of this one!”I shouted back at her,without looking back.We all ran to the ice-cream,and Duncan and I were almost at the top of the cliff when Scott pushed me down and ran ahead.I almost fell down but,as usual,Duncan was there to save me.

I was first to get my ice-cream and slid down the cliff all the way to the bottom.Closely followed by Duncan.We ran to the swap with the cherries,and again,I was first to reach them.When Duncan and I heard ‘Snappy’ behind us,I started to freak out and scream,but because Duncan was bottling up so much anger towards Courtney,he threw his bowl to the edge of the swamp and started fighting ‘Snappy’.I ran ahead,and as I was leaving,I saw Duncan getting out of the swamp,looking very satisfied,so I guessed he had one his fight,but,in the background,I also saw Mike swinging down and jumping on the alligator,just as he was recovering from his fight with Duncan.

That confirmed it for me.Duncan was right and Mike was Mal.There was no way Mike would actually fight SNAPPY!Manitoba or Vito maybe,or maybe Svetlana would swing down and grab the cherry,carefully placing it in her bowl,but Mike,would have tried to sneak passed the alligator.

I continued running and Duncan soon caught up.

“Hey,thanks for the save back there.”I said with a smile

“Hey,no problem.Needed to let some anger out anyway.”He said,rolling his eyes towards Courtney,who was desperately trying to get Zoey to be in an alliance with her.

We kept running until we got to the ‘crushed nut zone’.Somehow,Mal had beaten us there,and was already fighting off the robot.We almost sneaked passed it,and got away,but, Mal shouted “Hey guys,look out for the robot!”.It turned it’s attention towards us.I grabbed my crushed nuts as Duncan and I took turns distracting the robot.I ran out of the mess hall after Duncan and tripped over Courtney. “Gwen,I-” Courtney started. “No time to chat!”I said as I tried to run away and catch up. “Wait!I’m sorry.I never should have made that chart.I still want us to be a team,to be friends!Please don’t vote me off.VOTE FOR ZOEY!”She said desperately. “You’re right,you shouldn’t have made that chart,and I can’t forgive you,but I need as many allies as possible,so,if you vote for yourself,like you promised,I’ll vote for Scott,and I’ll try to get Duncan,Zoey and Mike to vote for him too.”I said as I was about to run off again.She stopped me again. “Get real!You’re just trying to make it unanimous!”She whined. “That’s a chance you’ll just have to take” I shouted back as I finally escaped and ran to catch up.

I caught up to Mike and Duncan when they were hiding behind a rock,at the ‘chocolate fire zone’. “Come on Duncan,we can take turns distracting it!”I called over.Duncan agreed,and I was about to run out and distract the fire plant when Mal piped up “Can I help?”he asked. “Sure Mike,but no sabotage this time,OK?”I said as sweetly as I could.He opened his mouth to  defend himself,but Duncan pushed him out to distract the plant.Duncan ran ahead,with his chocolate sauce and I ran and got mine.I considered leaving him there to fight off the plant himself,but decided to help him.I distracted the fire plant like I said I would and waited for Mal to get his chocolate.I was about to run ahead,after he got it,and expected him to follow me,but he dove back behind the rock.

I shook my head and ran to catch up with Duncan.He was almost at the finish line,but Courtney ran in front of him and won the race!I was furious until Chris said that we actually had to eat our sundaes and Zoey won. “Yes!Courtney is going DOWN!”I thought.

I decided to keep my promise and vote for Scott,but I didn’t say anything to Duncan,Zoey or Mal about voting for him too.I t wouldn’t have made a difference though.Everyone was super annoyed at Courtney after that chart,including me.I was seriously happy when Courtney was flushed down that giant toilet.It meant that I could become better friends with Zoey,and Mike when he gained back control.I also knew that Duncan was happy too.Now,we could also focus on our relationship with each other,not with Courtney.

“Welcome to the Final 5!Zoey,the spa hotel is all yours because......from now on,winners can’t take anyone along with them.”I heard Chris say as I walked back to the cabin.I was kinda disappointed.I never felt safe around Mal,ever since Duncan told me about Juvie.

SEASON 5 EPISODE 12

When I got back to camp,I was really excited,and was going to go to the confessional when Duncan stopped me.

“Where are you going,Pasty?”He asked.He looked kind of worried.

“To the confessional,why?”I asked.

“No reason.........I’m coming with you”He answered,kinda abruptly.

I simply answered, “Ok” and we made our way there.

I walked in and expected Duncan to just wait outside,but he came in and I really didn’t mind

“We’re the last 2 original cast members left on the island!”I said excitedly while leaning against Duncan,smiling up at him. “But,if we’re going to make it all the way,we need to get some allies.”I said thoughtfully. “Other than each other.”I butted in right as Duncan was about to say something. “But then again,Mike and Zoey are my friends,and they wouldn’t vote one of us off,just like I would never vote one of them off.Neither would Duncan,right babe?”I asked

“Well,honestly babe,Mal’s gotta go.He ain’t right.”He said.The more I thought about it,the more I realized that he was right.If it came down to it,I would probably vote Mal off too.

“Yeah I guess,but Scott needs to go!”

“Agreed!”

Then we left to go back to the cabins.

Even though we were gonna vote Scott of,I decided to be nice to him,so I went up to him and said: “Hey,Scott.How are you holding up?”He scoffed “What do you care?” “Sorry,I....”I started to apologize “I don’t want your pity.I want your head on a platter!”He threatened. Duncan came over and told him to back off. “Thanks,Duncan,but it’s fine.”I said as I walked away into the girls cabin.

I could here Duncan and Scott arguing outside,but I ignored them and tried to fall asleep.After I prayed that Scott would wake up in the morning.

We woke up to Chris screaming into the loudspeaker,as usual.

“Good morning Final 5!Gather on the dock,pronto-rooni-o.It’s crunch time!And by that,I mean your about to get crunched.”He said before he started laughing hysterically like the psychopath he is.

I walked with Duncan,as we made a list of all the horror movies we were gonna watch when we got home.

He eventually got to the point and told us what the challenge was.We needed to find something valuable on the island.I scoffed,turned to Duncan and said “Chris’ idea of ‘valuable’ is pretty skewed.He’s such an ego maniac,his most prized  possession is himself.” “Too true Pasty”Duncan replied as we tried not to laugh.

We had to find whatever was in the treasure chest we opened,and because Zoey won,she went first.I went next and had to find the gold key from Chef’s go carts from Season 4.Then,Duncan went,and he had to find Mr coconut.Apparently,he was lost after Chris threw him away in season 1.Scott went next,then Mal.Duncan and I decided that for this challenge,we would try and win it on our own,because,we’ve helped each other so much this season.

When Chris said that 2 of us were going home though,we decided to help each other just a bit. “OK how ‘bout this,whoever finds their treasure first helps the other?”Duncan suggested. “WOW,that’s actually a really good idea,Duncan!”I said,surprised.

We all ran to find our ‘loot’.I checked Chef’s kitchen first.I must have smashed every smashable thing in there!Good thing Chef didn’t catch me!But,no matter where I looked,the gold key just wasn’t there. “Oh man!”I thought. “Where else would Chris and Chef keep a key?”Then I remembered that the gold car was the car that didn’t work,so they probably threw it out. “It’s a long shot,but it might still be in the trash.”I said to myself.I made my way over to the dump and bumped into Duncan. 

“Wow,what are you doing?”I asked looking him up and down. “Isn’t it obvious?Chris threw Mr.Coconut into the water,so he’s gotta be there somewhere.”he answered,like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Where you goin’?”he asked. “The key wasn’t in the kitchen,and I figured they would have thrown the key out,since that kart didn’t work,so I’m hoping it’ll still be in the trash.”I said. “Cool,well,good luck Pasty.” “Right back at ya Juvie.”,and I made my way to the trash.

I got there and started digging through the dumpster.Suddenly,I heard someone moving behind me. “AHHHHHHH”I screamed,and hit the person over the head with a baseball bat I found.The person stood up and growled! “Oh my God!What are you doing here.......Mike?!”I was about to say Mal,but I stopped myself.He hesitated. “Oh,uh.......I.....was just..um.......looking for my treasure,yeah um.........I need to find an original golden Chris statue,so I......just...um.....figured it would be in the dump.......so............yeah”I looked at him suspiciously. “Whatever......”I finally said,after a long and awkward silence.I kept looking,trying to avoid Mal as much as possible.

“So..........ummmm.........you know,i was just thinking that me,you and Zoey should make an alliance.........or......something.”He said awkwardly,after a really long pause. “Let me talk to Duncan”I said back coldly. “Well........I mean,I like Duncan,you know that.........it’s just........I was thinking it would be just you,me and Zoey,you know?” “Ugh,yeah right!Fat chance of that happening”I said rolling my eyes.

I quickly found the key and got out of there before Mal could say anything else.When I got back,Zoey had already won, and Duncan and Scott were already there.Even though Scott didn’t have his treasure.Later,at the elimination ceramony,Zoey got to choose who to flush out of me,Mal and Duncan.Scott automatically got the boot for coming back empty handed. “I’m really sorry Gwen,but I promised Mike I’d take him to the finale if I won,and you’re a really strong competitor.”she said hanging her head in shame while Scott was sitting in the flush of shame.

“If Gwen’s going, I’m going too!”Duncan said suddenly,climbing into the flush of shame. “Fine,whatever,makes things easier for me!”Chris agreed carelessly. “Duncan?!What are you doing?You have a chance to win ANOTHER million bucks!”I gasped. “I don’t need it Pasty!Still have loads left over from TDA.Anyway,I only came back cause you wanted to.” “Awww,thanks Duncan!Hey,Zoey,I really hope you win!And watch out for ‘Mike’!”I said staring straight at Mal.He simply looked around cluelessly,whistling that annoying song.

I’m not going to do episodes now that they were eliminated

And just like that,we were all flushed down the flush of shame,and sent back to ‘playa de losers’.We washed up on the shore of the beach,and walked over to the villa.When we walked in,they were all sitting around the pool.Lindsay turned around first and squealed “OMG Gwen!What are you doing here?!And Duncan too?!”I rolled my eyes as she pulled me into a hug and I hugged her back. “We were eliminated,Lindsay,just like you were.”

I pulled away from the hug and walked over to Cameron,rolling my eyes at Courtney as I did. “Hey,buddy.How you feeling?” “Oh,I’m fine!The doctor said I’ll only need my full-body cast for another 2 months!”he said excitedly. “Um........wow...that’s so....great!”I answered awkwardly.

The three of us that had just arrived went around to everyone,catching up on everything that had happened since they were eliminated.Duncan and I avoided Courtney,while Scott ran over to her as soon as we walked up.Me and Duncan just looked at him,looked at each other,and rolled our eyes.

We found out which rooms we were in and went to unpack and relax.Me and Duncan had rooms right next to each other,at the end of the hall.Duncan winked at me when we were going into our rooms and I just laughed and winked back.I unpacked my suitcase and went to join everyone else at the pool.Duncan was there,dipping doing laps around the pool.I went and put my feet in the water. “Wow!I never took you as a swimmer!” “Yeah,well......you just gonna sit there all night?”he asked,staring at me jokingly.I jumped in and started splashing him. “Oh,yeah,that’s how you wanna play?”he said,splashing me back.We continued splashing each other,and were wrestling in the water,when we heard a camera click.We turned and were shocked to see Sierra pointing her phone at us,taking a million pictures. “O.M.G!You two are sooooo cute together!My followers on my Gwuncan blog are gonna LOVE this.” 

We both rolled our eyes again and got out of the pool. “Way to ruin the mood,Stalkzilla!”Duncan shouted back at her.I laughed and we talked and joked until we got to our rooms.I had a shower and got ready for bed.I only remembered when my stomach started growling like crazy that I hadn’t eaten anything since Chef’s slop that morning.Then,I remembered that I was in a villa,that had ACTUAL FOOD and ran down to the kitchen.

Right as I was about to enter the kitchen when I heard the cupboard opening and pots and pans clanking together.I shook my head,rolled my eyes and walked in.I was expecting to see someone in there,but there was only a half eaten doughnut,in the shape of............Cody......sitting there on the table.I shrugged it off and went over to the fridge.I stood there for a few minutes,in awe.I hadn’t seen that much REAL FOOD for almost 2 months!I grabbed all the ingredients for my favorite grilled cheese and went over to the pans.I opened the cupboard and screamed!

“SIERRA?What  are you doing?!”I screamed. “Gwen favorite food:Grilled Cheese!”she said into her phone. “Oh,sorry Gwen!I was just hiding in there so I could see what you were doing!”she said,as if that isn’t creepy at all!I rolled my eyes again and grabbed a pan behind her.I made my sandwich and listen her going on about how ‘me and Duncan are soooooo cute together,even though boyfriend stealing is wrong,and almost all of her followers love us together and blah blah blah.’ I can’t even count the amount of times I rolled my eyes from the time that it took me to make my grilled cheese to clean up afterwards.

Even though I felt like my head was going to explode,I stayed for a while and listened to her rambling on.I eventually got away from her at about 10 ‘o clock and went up to my room.I found the letters my family and friends sent me on the dresser.I opened up one from my brother,and he told me that my mom was acting crazy again,and told me that I looked really stupid chasing Courtney around the way I did.In another letter,he told me that he was had re-watched the episode where I screamed at Duncan and Courtney about 1 million times.I laughed when I read that.I opened the letters from my mom next,and she just went on and on about how much they both missed me.I got 1 letter from Pixie Corpse,Reaper and Marilyn,which they wrote together.Reaper wrote that I needed to forget that stuck up b**ch and ‘focus on my dumbass boyfriend’,so it was obviously sent before episode 5.Marilyn went on about how stupid Duncan was being,while Pixie went on about how much they all hate Courtney.

I finally decided to stop re-reading my letters at around 11pm and went to sleep.

The next morning,I woke up,got in my swimwear and went down for breakfast in the dining room.I sat beside Cameron and Duncan sat beside me.I had to help Cameron with his food because of his cast,but I didn’t mind.It was kind of my fault he was hurt anyway.After breakfast,I put on sunscreen and layed on a beach lounger near the pool.I was just getting comfortable,when Duncan ran up and drenched me from head to toe with a bucket of ice water.I screamed and pushed him in the pool.I laughed and jumped in beside him.Lindsay,Sierra,Sam,Joe and Lightning jumped in after us,and we were all having a great time,while Heather stared at us in disgust,Alejandro stared at her in awe,Courtney stared at her PDA and Scott stared at her,drooling.

After a while,everyone got out,but me and Duncan stayed.We stopped joking around and just hung out at the edge. “So,you’re really not annoyed that you missed out on a million bucks?”I asked,looking up at him,smiling curiously. “Nah.I don’t need it.I only put up with Chris because you were there anyway.”I laughed,and splashed him.This spiked up another water fight,and we eventually started wrestling again.

A while later,we stopped because the lunch buffet was served.

Every day was pretty much the same,for about 3 days,until the day of the finale came.That morning,we all got ready and had breakfast.Then,we were brought to the camp and put in giant balloons.As soon as we saw the balloons,Duncan and I stared at each other with fear. “Oh,man,what’s Chris gonna do to us now?” I asked myself.I thought for sure that Cameron was still too injured to participate,since he was still in a bubble,with a broken arm,but they shoved him into a balloon anyway.

We were left flouting there for a while,until eventually,just as my claustrophobia started acting up,we heard voices. Chris explained to Zoey and Mal that they had 30 seconds to try and shoot us down,and any one of us they got down,would be their teammate.My claustrophobia really started to act up and I screamed for help.I could hear Duncan trying to calm me down,but I continued screaming.In the background,I heard Zoey and Mal shooting at us,and eventually,Zoey shot me down.

I ran over to her and hugged her tight,thanking her the whole time. “No problem Gwen,but I kinda need to shoot someone else down!”she said in her sweet,soft voice. “Oh!Right!Sorry!”I said,backing away.Zoey shot down Cameron next and Mal was able to shoot down Alejandro and Heather.Chris told us time was up and told one of the interns to collect everyone else,right as a huge gust of wind came and blew them all away. “Oh my God,Duncan!!I screamed. “Chris!How are you going to get them down?!”I asked,as Zoey stroked my arm calmly. “I don’t know,the interns will handle it.”He said,shrugging his shoulders.

Chris continued explaining the final challenge,while Alejandro and Heather made goo-goo eyes at each other,I kept looking up worriedly,Zoey and Cameron tried to calm me down,and Mal stared at nothing,groaning Mike’s name a few times.I didn’t notice until Chris mentioned it that Alejandro and Heather were actually DATING!I laughed and cringed for a few seconds until I remembered Duncan.I can’t believe I didn’t notice how disgusting those 2 were!It was kinda sad to see their rivalry end....

We followed Chris onto the cart and over to the challenge.When I actually saw ‘The Moats Of Doom’,I decided that I had to forget that Duncan had just floated into space,and focus on the challenge.Unless I wanted someone to get mutated like that Dakota chick,burned alive and have to be stuck in a robot suit like Alejandro,or have a shark as an enemy like Scott.

“So......excited?”Chris asked. “This challenge is crazy!”I exclaimed throwing my arms down. “Let’s not try to hurt Mal!”Zoey said desperately to me and Cameron, “Mike’s still in there,right Cameron?”.Cameron sighed sadly and said “I don’t think so,Zoey.And it’s possible that Mal was always Mal and Mike was just one personality.Either way,Mike’s gone.”

I looked at Zoey sympathetically while tears started to form in her eyes.I was sad too!I didn’t really know Mike that well,since I had only spoken to Mike as himself a small amount of times,and I only really knew what I had seen on the few episodes I watched of Total Drama Revenge Of The Island.Suddenly,Zoey came to her senses,wiped her eyes and said “Well,if Mal really is Mal,let’s go out,crush him,and win this thing!”. “Yeah!”I exclaimed as I high-fived Zoey.

She tried to high five Cameron from inside his bubble,but he rolled down the hill and over to Mal. “Keep your garbage on your side!”Mal laughed as he kicked Cameron passed Chris.Chris did the outro to the break,and we all prepared for the final challenge.

Zoey and I rolled Cameron over to the opposite side of the challenge and we were waiting to start when Mal called over, “Good luck Zoey!You’re gonna need it!”and he continued with evil laughter.Cameron looked over at him scared,while I gave him the stink eye. “No way I’m letting this jerk win a million bucks!”I thought.

Chris started the challenge and we ran to the first moat. “It’s too wide to jump across!”Zoey yelled desperately. “Maybe we could use these as stilts,” I suggested.I picked them up and tried lacing them in the toxic goop. “Or not”I said throwing the sticks down.We stood there desperately trying to think of something when Cameron piped up. “I have an idea,but I’m not crazy about it.” Zoey and I looked at each other suspiciously,and the next thing I knew we were sailing across the moat on Cameron’s bubble.

Zoey and I jumped off of the bubble right as it started sizzling up and Cameron was shot into Zoey’s arms. “Zoey has crossed the first moat.Zoey is in the lead.Zoey!Winning!”Chris said loudly,trying to annoy Mal.It worked,and Mal pole vaulted over the moat as me and Cameron started climbing the ladder.When he landed,he almost lost his balance and fell into the moat. “MIKE?!”Zoey screamed when she saw her boyfriend almost fall into a pit of toxic waste.

“Hey!He’s not Mike!”I shouted. “Remember that or he’ll introduce you to a pool of lava!” I understood she was concerned,but honestly,I was more concerned about making sure Zoey won!And more importantly,making sure ‘Mal’ lost! “Ok.Right.I know that.I do.”Zoey answered,as she ran to the ladder.

I helped Cam and Zoey up the ladder,fairly confident we were wayyy in the lead,but Mal was right behind us.We thought quickly and put the ladder across the lava so we could get over it.Just as Zoey was across and I was starting to climb over,Mal ran over and threw Cameron down beside the toxic waste.The ladder began to burn just as Zoey was in the middle,but she ran across before she fell in the lava.After I was sure she was ok,I turned to Mal. “You’ve got some nerve,you know that?!”and I went to hit him,but he grabbed my hand and threw me down beside Cam.I got up and we made our way over to Alejandro and Heather.The pain in my ankle was horrible,so I was in no mood for Heather when she said;“What’s wrong with you?” in her usual,whiney voice.

TO BE CONTINUED

[taylart-x]

Whumptober- Day 31

Day 31: Embrace

Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go!

Characters: Alan Tracy, John Tracy, Virgil Tracy, Kayo Kyrano

Disclaimer: I do not own Thunderbirds or any of the characters from the show (or from TAG). I just want to make cool stories :)

Final part to the Muffled Scream mini series. Previous part is Day 12- “Don’t move”

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48 hours. That’s how long it had been since Virgil came out of surgery. Since then he had woken a few times, but only briefly, and he was still dopey, barely able to speak, let alone coherently. John had sat with him the entire time, barely leaving the room to change out of his uniform. Scott had jumped on him to take five minutes and do just that.

He was back in 3.

And now here he sat, since then, gripping Virgil’s hand, running a thumb along the back of it to map out the bones and tendons. Maybe to give himself some comfort too. Maybe.

Alan’s head was pillowed on John’s shoulder, and not for the first time in the past two days. Scott had dragged Gordon out earlier to get some sleep back at the hotel, and he would be coming back to get Alan, and try to convince John. It won’t work.

John couldn’t leave Virgil here. 

Because if he wakes in that hotel room, how will he know if Virgil is still alive? How will he know that his big brother hasn’t been lost?

In reality, John knew that Virgil was starting to come out of the woods. Barring any unseen complications, of which there should be none, Virgil had an almost 100% chance of recovery. BUt it didn’t reassure the illogical part of John’s brain. It didn’t quiet the voice in the back of his head, whispering that Virgil was gone. He had died beneath the rubble and everything now was just a dream.

John shook his head, trying to dispel the thoughts. Virgil was okay. He had made it through the hours of surgery, the rescue, the transport, the everything. He was breathing and waking every so often. He would be okay. 

“John?”

Alan’s voice was small and sleep thick. John looked down at met bright baby blues, sleep glazed but alert. “Hey, Allie. You having a nap?”

“Yeah, I just got a bit tired is all.”

John sighed and glanced over to the couch in the corner. Kayo was stretched out across its length, her head tipped to the side and eyelashes laying over the bags under her eyes. “Maybe you should go with Scott back to the hotel?”

“But Virgil’s here.”

“I get that, but you’ll get some better sleep in a real bed than in one of these chairs.”

“Says the man who hasn't slept since this happened,” the youngest grumbled, but his eyes betrayed him, the concern almost overflowing from them. “It isn’t good, John. You need to look after yourself too. Virgil wouldn’t want you to do this to yourself.”

“No he wouldn’t,” said a croaky voice from the bed. Both of the astronaut’s heads whipped around to see Virgil’s eyes slitted open. He smiled a pained but genuine smile, looking at his younger brothers. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself,” was John’s reply, tears welling to the surface. “How you feeling?”

“Like I’m on the good stuff.”

Alan stepped forward- when had he moved?- with ice chips for Virgil, who gratefully took a few into his mouth. “Please help me tell John to go back to the hotel and sleep,” the blond pleaded. 

“John, go sleep, at the hotel.”

“Not gonna happen. This is the most cognizant you’ve been in two days.”

“Alan, could you go grab him a drink of water?” Virgil requested. “And you, Kay.”

The two space brothers turned to see Kayo sitting upright on the couch, green eyes piercing Virgil, but stepping forth to retrieve Alan and drag him outside. Virgil looked back at John, his deep cocoa eyes attempting to find all of John’s well kept secrets that were closely guarded to his soul. “So, why haven’t you been sleeping?”

“I-I, well, it’s because-” he met Virgil’s eyes again and sighed, slumping back into his chair. “Because every time I let myself drift off, all I can hear is you screaming and see your blood. It was everywhere and-and I don’t know what to do. Because you’re alive, but how do I know that you could be dead, this could all be-”

“John.”

John’s head snapped up to look at Virgil again, tears running down his pale cheeks. “John, it’s okay. Come here.”

He just about ran to Virgil, letting weak arms loop around him. Arms that were usually so strong now little more than kitten strength, and yet, still just as comforting as they had always been. He started sobbing in earnest, letting himself melt into the embrace but careful to harm the already injured man below him. “Shh, it’s alright, I’m okay John. I’m okay.”

The two brothers ended up falling asleep; Virgil’s meds and injuries catching up with him, and John’s debt to his body finally deciding to pay itself off. Kayo found them later, curled around each other, with John calmer than she had seen him since this whole mess started. Sometimes everything could be solved with a simple hug. 

Although she did take a few photos for blackmail purposes. 

[tempestshakes01]

happy and anxious. 

happy because i love my apartment and i love Lil Cup of Joe. he is a terror and the sweetest boy ever, and i feel so much love for him. this is why i can’t be around an animal for an extended period of time. i will die for any creature i get attached to and lil joe is now my baby. 

but i am anxious because i put of working when my brother brought home a puppy. he didn’t ask me to, but he’s an idiot who’s never home and bought a puppy to make him come home. i gave him 3 days and when his habits didn’t change, joe was being left alone and untrained, and i needed a running buddy--well, i took over. joe’s now potty-trained and knows a few (one) command. i take him everywhere to socialize him. he’s mine. but i’ll never say that to nick. who still needs to go therapy. i don’t know him. i don’t know what goes on in that head of his. it’s like we switched personalities in our 20s. i went from the quiet, serious type to basically a manic 13 yr old boy. he went from a wildly charismatic clown to a brooding hipster. what makes him laugh? what is he thinking? what is he passionate about? how does he talk to other ppl for hours but he can barely speak to his family for more than half of one? what did we do?

i got really angry the other night thinking about the fights i’ve had with my parents this past year. 

1) washington d.c. - mom and i got into to it in front of the fuckin white house at dusk. i was so emotional and upset at being there, right there where trump fucks over our country, and my mom was being...well, the woman fox news molded. i was furious and trying to keep it nice, so i asked if we could just stop. stop talking. i was gonna blow up. and my mom was like, “why do we stop when you say stop, but when i ask to stop, you continue?” which...is it true? i didn’t think so, and because i can’t keep my mouth shut, i argued until i walked away. i walked into the crowds and then i kept walking. i kept walking. i kept walking.  

it was terrible. i texted her “i’m gone” and i left. 

i forgot the details but i wandered that area of d.c. got a coffee. tried not to cry. and then...remembered how much trouble my mom’s phone was giving her, that her gps apps weren’t being accurate, that she wasn’t confident at the metro, and that it was now dark. that she was alone in an unfamiliar city with a camera bag strapped to her screaming “i’m a tourist!” 

i felt like utter and complete shit. it was one of the most despicable things i’ve ever done. later, i told some people and they were like “she’s a grown woman! you were both upset!” but no. i can’t make excuses like that. i knew that my mom was scared. i burst into tears. a crazy sobbing girl in the middle of d.c. i immediately texted her and told her to get back to me when she got to the hotel. 

an hour later, back at the hotel, my mom couldn’t even look at me. couldn’t speak to me. i knew i had to apologize and i did, wording it carefully because i walking on a minefield. i again blocked out most of the conversation, but it quickly dissolved into a mess of confessions. i was wrecked. at first because of what happened, but as our conversation turned into an argument, i became furious again. over how she interpreted some of our interactions. over how i “blamed” her for my anxiety and anger. i told her i got my anger from her. that i was slow to it like my father, but when something lit inside me it burned bright and hot and deadly like her. that her grudges and cold shoulders hurt me so, so badly when i was a kid (which she then explained wasn’t a grudge, just her processing her anger...but that was way, way into the night). oh god, it was so bad. so bad. she confessed how she felt about all us kids. told me about her problems with andi and nick. told me she wanted to move away from us. told me she didn’t want a relationship with me or them if it was going to be like this. 

i didn’t sleep. just cried and cried. like i did when i was a kid. sobbed in the bathroom and then under my covers. we barely talked the next day, but it slowly became okay. i didn’t know how to explain how much i loved her, so i tried to show her.      

in the end, we were ok enough. 

2) driving 30 hrs across the country - my dad and i were talking and he told me how he didn’t get us, and that we were hurting mom by rejecting her or something. he was upset and my dad doesn’t get upset, so i got upset and moody. and he was like “why are you like this? just with me? just with us. you’re so cruel.” and i knew it was true but it still took me an hour to snap out of it. and i apologized. 

--

but i feel sometimes angry bc i got the emo dump from both my parents. about both my siblings! and they don’t even talk to them about it! my parents don’t even touch nick anymore! they leave him alone because it’s easier that way and he wouldn’t listen even if they tried to talk to him! and my sister would get super huffy and feel judged and act out in some way and take the kids! so. i get it but i hate it!!! because i got the feelings dump! i got the tears and the hours of psychoanalyzing why we are the way we are! and i hate that i feel burdened by it sometimes?

 i want to be there for my parents but sometimes i’m that petulant child that still wants a mommy and daddy, not two parents who are human and exist with their own emotional life. and that’s so unfair to them and wrong of me, but i feel that way because i’m the child that gets this brunt of this side of them.  

but it’s because in my own way im the most difficult and this shit spills out when i push them. 

--

my parents (mostly mom) are only getting more set in their ways and defensive of their opinions. my mom...my mom who taught me so much about art and the world and appreciating different cultures and music and lived life with such vigor and wonder...i can see that fading and hardening. she’s stubborn about what she like and doesn’t have much interest in anything new. she’s offended and hurt when i gently bring up her how she used to be. 

my dad’s always been this way. very traditional, but kind. spoiled, but hardworking. likes what he likes. but he’s eating more greens. he’ll try what i make because i made it. we listened to latino usa and old radio lab podcasts that whole drive from wa to tx, and he loved it, and we discussed the episodes. and i loved him so much because he gave them a shot and we connected. 

but my mom. my mom. i miss her and she’s right there, but she’s not. and i know i’m part of the reason she’s retreated into herself and her more ‘sturdy’ beliefs and the friends who share them. she’s so quick to judge and harsh about it these days. is it age? is it us? is it this horrible world?

--

i came home to this. i came home and how quickly people change bc i didn’t expect my mom to be so old. in spirit. she’s tired. she doesn’t trust me. we’re working on being gentle. i’m working on not being so quick to anger.

my dad and i...i’m thrilled we’re getting along so well after i treated him like shit during the ~separation years~ between my parents. i was awful to him and he knew why, but he never called me out on it. 

my sis and i are fine. i’m so relieved she got out of that last relationship with that TERRIBLE PERSON and came to her senses, and somewhat grew up. we kick it. she cooks for me. we don’t completely jive cause she’s hood, but can code-switch between worlds, and i’m suburban through and through, so i’m not as cool or smooth as she is. i’m her dorky weird little sister and i appreciate her love for me. 

my brother? a mystery. a complete mystery. 

and i’m reminded of how he called me on my birthday and started weeping and asking about therapy and saying he’s sorry he never believed in my anxiety because it’s true--you don’t ask for, you don’t know why it appears, and it wrecks you. and he deals with it now for no discernible reason and he sounded so, so broken over the phone that i was shaking and crying when we hung up.

but now he’s as chill as ever and takes minimal care of his puppy because the 1st dog he got was pretty hands-off from the jump, but she was grown and pooed and peeded everywhere for months (he says no, but that’s selective memory), so now lil joe is mine and i need to get a job because the lack of structure is killlllllllllllllingggggg me. but i don’t want to leave lil joe :( 

--

it’s funny how i never set out to write all this shit, but it comes spilling out. 

huh. wait.

i left and i worked on myself but then i missed my family.

did i come back to work on the family? to work on my relationship with them? is that my purpose here and why i felt compelled to return?

--

went climbing with GA. i was totally afraid of falling and bouldering isn’t as fun to me as top rope, but i wanna keep at it. 

trying to set something up with B and A. my buds. i love em. 

gotta set something up with L because I have a feeling we’ll be good friends here. and weirdly, BG contacted me even though I haven’t talked to him since college? and even then we weren’t that close. he was just inching toward asking me out and never managed it.

--

fav emmy looks: zendaya (obviously. omg, whatta babe), maisie williams (whatta look, suits her perfectly, killed it), gwen christie (whatta jesus babe), that girl in the billowing mint green dress, anddddd clea duvall (a babe in a tux). 

vm continue to make me sad and hopefully things go well with tour for them. it’s nice to see them getting along with charlie and tanith. with bby charlie and tati and max’s kid coming along...oh boy for scott’s emotions. he’s gonna ignore the HELL out of those sad feeling for what couldvebeen with tess and he’s gonna plan hard for his and j’s future offspring instead. (can i also predict that i think one thing scott’s gonna have trouble with in his marriage--oddly enough--is keeping the marriage a partnership and not bulldozing over his spouse with his wants and needs ...wait, that’s not odd lol) 

--

anyway, gotta take joe out to pee. gotta get to bed soon because i wanna be on the trails by 7am and then maybe to the climbing gym. this face maybe a potato but my body can improve! (i’m thicc at the moment thanks to texas food 🤧) 

[overly-affectionate-animatronics]

Service With A Smile - Chap. 05

Title:  Service With a Smile - Welcome to the Fazbear Hotel! Part:  5/?? Author:  Murasaki Rose Beta:  none Genre:  AU/Romance/Adventure/Sci-Fi Rating:  PG-13 Spoilers:  None that I know Warnings:  Slash~i.e. male x male pairings, swearing, suggestive language and humor Pairings:  Golden Freddy x Phone Guy Minor Pairings:  Foxy x Chica, Toy Bonnie x Mangle, Toy Freddy x Toy Chica

Summary:  After being picked as the new general manager, Paul has one month to prove he’s the man for the job.  But with xenophobic customers, jealous employees, a former employer out to sabotage him, and a flirty hotel owner, does the human stand a chance, or will he be sent back home?

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Ah, Mr. Cawthon, just the man I wanted to see," a voice called out as Paul walked by Golden's office. 

"Hello, hello doctor!" the human replied in greeting, a faint blush dusting his cheeks when Golden waved at him from behind the hotel physician.  "What can I do for you?" he asked, entering the room and walking over to stand at Golden's side.

The older Tieran gave him a friendly smile, "Well young man, since you are now a permanent member of the staff, I've been brushing up on my human biology.  That was when I realized that there was an unintentional omission from your records."

"Omission?" Paul and Golden asked in unison.

"Yes.  It's nothing serious and the fault lies in our medical form."  A small frown formed on his muzzle, "However, I'm not sure how sensitive humans are about this, so if you prefer I can ask you in private....I wouldn't ask at all, but I do need this information in case of a serious injury."

Paul smiled and shook his head, "My health record is clean, so uh, anything you want to know, you can ah, just ask me now."

"All right then.  What I need to know is whether or not you have had the bearer surgery."

Golden's eyebrows lifted in surprise as Paul's face turned red, his brown eyes going wide before he answered.

"Oh!  W-well, I ah-no.  No, I h-haven't had the surgery.  The results were t-too finicky when I was the r-right age, s-so my dad didn't uh, didn't want to risk it."

"All right, I'll get this into your records then."  Knowing the human was in good hands, the doctor decided it would be best not to call attention to Paul's obvious discomfort and left the office.

Alone now, Golden noticed how quiet and withdrawn his human had become.  His head was downcast and he seemed lost in his thoughts, a heavy, melancholy air hanging about him.  Sensing Paul's need to talk, Golden got up and closed the door to his office; something told him this was best talked about in private.  Sitting on the edge of his desk and placing a paw on Paul's shoulder, the bear waited patiently until his human lifted his head.  He wasn't surprised to see the red-head's dark eyes glimmering with unshed tears.

Taking a shaky breath, Paul finally began to talk.  "D-do you uh, remember when I m-mentioned my brother standing up for me?"

Golden nodded, he wondered when his human would want to talk about that. (1)

"W-well you see uh...even though our dad d-didn't want to put us th-through the s-s-surgery, he always expected us t-to have kids.  A-after a few bad r-relationships, m-my brother decided to go ahead and raise kids b-by himself.  So he f-found a surrogate before I w-was out of h-high school.  Then three years l-later he h-had a second one with the same surrogate."

"How old was he?" brow furrowed in concern, the bear gently rubbed Paul's back.

"S-same age I-I am now...that's p-probably why...no.  That is why Dad started p-pressuring me to find a surrogate."  Paul frowned, "B-but I hadn't d-dated much at all and I d-didn't...I didn't w-want to raise k-kids on my own."   A stray tear escaped, hastily wiped away by the frustrated human.  "I-I love kids, but w-with this kind of job I c-couldn't do it on my own!  I-I mean m-maybe here I could, b-but back on the colony..?"  He shook his head, "I-I didn't even have time t-to date, how could I raise a child?  I-I'd never be there for them!"  His fists clenched, "I-I tried to explain that to my father, but he wouldn't listen!  He just kept going on about doing my duty for humanity, l-like I hadn't said a word!"  The red-head visibly deflated, "I finally yelled that I refused to have a child with someone I didn't even know."  The tears that had been shimmering in his eyes began rolling down his face unchecked, "Th-that was when he said-" Paul's breath hitched, "he said...that i-if he had known I-I was g-going to be like this, he'd have......had me go through the bearer operation," he finished, choking back a sob.  "That w-was when S-Scott jumped in.  He told Dad he was out of line, but Dad was so worked up, he wouldn't listen to him either.  They started arguing and just got louder and angrier until Dad stormed off."  Paul took another shaky breath, "That was m-months ago and I uh...I haven't...spoken with him since.  I've left messages, trying to get in contact with him, but he hasn't replied to any of them.  I-I-I d-don't even think he knows I-I'm not on the c-colony anymore!"  His explanation done, Paul crumpled into the strong arms that caught him, tears streaming unfettered down his face.

Scooping Paul up in a bridal carry, Golden carried him to one of the couches in his office and sat down.  Looking down into his human's surprised and tear-stained face, the bear didn't know what to say.  What could he say?  He knew that the human species had been fighting a dwindling population since the destruction of their home planet, but that they would pressure their people to the state that parents would shun their children for not wanting to have one with a stranger....

Pushing those thoughts aside, he leaned back with his human still cradled in his arms and pressed a gentle kiss to Paul's forehead.  Relaxing into the embrace, Paul felt a few stray tears roll down his face as he soaked in the comfort his boyfriend was providing.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

One of the additional perks to living in the dorms at the Fazbear Hotel were 2 hours a week for long-distance phone calls.  Having few people back on the colony he was close enough to stay in contact with, Paul spent most of his time talking with his older brother.  The two were deep into their weekly talk when a knock came at Paul's door; the younger sibling going to answer after apologetically asking his brother to wait a moment.

Though he couldn't quite make out the words, Scott could hear the joy in his brother's voice at his surprise visitor who spoke in a deep, soothing tone.  Moments later, Paul popped back into view, a shy smile now on his face.  "Ah Scott?  I've uh, got someone I'd like you to meet."  Tugging on the hand he was holding off screen, Paul sat on the far side of the couch leaving room for a large, gold-furred bear Tieran to sit next to him.

Much to the red head's delight, his brother and boyfriend got along wonderfully, which had never occurred with the few boyfriend's he'd had in the past.  Somehow though, their conversation took an odd turn and Paul wasn't quite sure how the topic even came up, much less begin to fathom why Golden was so interested when his brother mentioned it.

"You have a picture of him in a skirt?"  Aqua eyes lit when the brunet nodded, "How long is it?"

"Above the knee," Scott answered, laughing when his little brother moaned in embarrassment while Golden's ears perked.

"Scott why?!"  Grabbing one of the throw pillows, Paul covered his face and considered smothering himself with it.

"Paul are you all right?" Golden asked, gently rubbing the red-head's back.  Receiving no reply, he frowned and easily lifted his human up onto his lap with his legs on either sides of the bear's hips.  Nuzzling his head, Golden tugged the pillow out of Paul's hands and brought their foreheads together.  "If it bothers you so much, I'll stop asking about the picture," he promised, kissing his human's temple. 

Sitting back, Paul shook his head, "Oh, n-no.  It's not that.  It's just-it's a silly picture from a drama production back in high school.  Y-you can see it if you want."

Hugging his human around the waist, Golden chuckled, "Tell you what; I'll show you one of my old school pictures in exchange."  He rubbed his nose against Paul's, "and to be totally fair, I'll let Freddy and Kima pick which one."

Brown eyes twinkling in delight, Paul leaned forward and kissed Golden's cheek.  "It's a deal."

"I still don't understand why you want to see it so badly."

"Because you're wearing a skirt," Golden answered as if it was obvious.

"What does a skirt have to do with anything?"

Golden coughed and muttered that he'd explain later.

Trying not to laugh at them both, Scott decided to fill his brother in...at least partially.  "He wants to see your legs Paul."

"Scott!" Paul whined, covering his face with his hands and attempting to fall off Golden's lap to one side.  Holding his human close, Golden nuzzled Paul's hair in an attempt to hide his own blush that threatened to show through his fur.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

With the hotel's prestigious standing and stellar reputation, Paul had quickly learned that he was a great point of interest to those who held long-time connections to the hotel.  Because of this, he'd grown accustomed to occasionally being pulled from his routine to meet with various patrons and business associates.

"I'm impressed that you were able to meet Rolfe's standards so well.  He holds this place and this position in high regard.  I didn't think he'd find anyone that he fully trusted to take over."

"Thank you Mr. Ursa," Paul replied, a hint of red dusting his cheeks.  He still wasn't used to getting so many sincere, glowing compliments. 

Ursa chuckled as Golden wrapped an arm around the almost bashful human.  After hearing stories from Golden's father, he'd wanted to meet the young man himself and see if the rumors were true.  A quick change to his trip itinerary was all it took to give himself and his son a chance to visit and see things for themselves.  Unfortunately, his son wasn't making a good impression as he chose to pretend Paul didn't exist while trying and failing to catch Golden's eye, despite the other bear stating upfront that he and the human were courting.

Paul's tablet suddenly chimed as a reminder went off.  "Oh!  I'm sorry but I'm afraid I have to go.  I've got a meeting with some of the managers to get to."

"That's quite all right young man."

Having caught on to the young bear's intentions right away and fed up with this sort of behavior from people in general, Paul decided it was time he started following in his boyfriend's footsteps and show others that Golden was his.  Placing a hand on Golden's shoulder for balance, he lifted up on his toes and pressed a kiss to the bear's cheek, "I'll see you later."

Golden nodded, a silly grin forming as he put a paw over where Paul's lips had touched.  That was the first time his human had kissed him first in public.

The older Tieran chuckled at the cub's expression, "Your father had that same look on his muzzle the first time your mother did that to him."

If anything Golden's grin grew brighter and he breathed a happy sigh as he watched the red head until he was out of sight.  "He's something special isn't he?"

"He's human," Ursa's son grumped, earning himself a dark glare from Golden.

"And he's mine."

The youth's next comment was cut off by a yelp as his father smacked the back of his head.

"I'm sorry Golden, it seems my son still has some lessons to learn in manners."

Tension gone, the gold bear made an exasperated sigh, "he's not the only one."

"Ah yes, your father mentioned that incident a few weeks ago."  He laughed as the younger bear groaned in disgust.

"Please don't remind me," he frowned and shook his head.  "At least we learned that Paul can calm me down before I go feral."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Paul nearly dropped his tablet to the floor when the urgent message alarm went off.  Recovering from his fumble, he swore his heart stopped as he read the message from security:

[["Paul!  You need to hurry!  There's a guest making advances on Golden!]]

Taking every shortcut he knew, the human raced for the main ballroom, dodging staff and guests alike, all while hoping and praying he wouldn't be too late.  He was running so fast, his momentum took him past the doorway coming to a graceless stop a few feet beyond the entryway.  Spinning on his heel, he back-tracked into the ballroom at a slightly slower pace to give his racing heart a chance to slow down while he assessed the situation.

The scene that greeted him left the human debating whether he should be amused or annoyed.

Amusement won out as he watched his seven-foot-plus boyfriend awkwardly try to fend off a couple of tiny, flirtatious elderly ladies.  Nearby the event manager was attempting to deter the ladies but wasn't having much luck as he was also trying not to laugh at his boss' plight.

Stifling a grin, Paul approached the group with a pleasant smile, "Hello, hello!"

"Ah, Mr. Cawthon!" the event manager called out, drawing the ladies attention away from Golden, giving the bear a chance to dart behind Paul.  "Miss Ligar, Miss Daora, this is our General Manager."

"Pleased to meet you," Ligar greeted, eyeing the human from head to toe.

"Now aren't you just the cutest thing?" Daora cooed, fluttering her eyelashes.

Afraid for Paul's safety, Golden instantly recovered his composure and wrapping an arm around the human's waist, pulled him back to rest against his chest.  Used to this behavior, Paul subconsciously relaxed against the bear and placed a reassuring hand on top of Golden's paw.

Ligar's eyes widened, "Ohhh, I see."  Leaning over, she "whispered" to her friend, "No wonder the boy wasn't interested...he's got a lovely mate already!"  Honestly, that was one of the cutest things she'd seen in some time.

Both men blushed brightly, sending the elderly women into a fit of giggles.

Waving a hand in their direction, Ligar drew Daora away, a knowing smile on her face, "Well then, I think we'll let you boys go about your day.  Mr. Serata can take care of us from here."

"It was wonderful meeting you!"

With that, they each took one of the event manager's arms and walked away, Golden slumping in relief as they left the room.  His arm still around Paul, he let the other join it as he buried his face in his human's hair.  That had been freaky.

Leaning back against the bear, Paul sighed and sagged a little as the adrenaline finally wore off.

"You all right?" Golden asked, lifting his head to nuzzle the human's cheek.

"Just a little tired," brown eyes glanced sideways at the bear.  "I ah, ran here from the laundry room."

"That's on the other side of the hotel!" Golden was impressed, his human must have broken some speed records with how fast he had arrived.

"Oh, well I was a little ah, motivated," he held his tablet up to show the bear, "I received this message from security and after last month I was a bit concerned, you know."

Reading the message, Golden felt a twinge of annoyance that security had scared Paul so badly, but it was easily over-shadowed by the warmth he felt knowing how much his human cared.  Scooping the red head up into his arms, Golden brought their faces nose-to nose to kill any protests he might make and grinned at the blush that bloomed over Paul's cheeks.

"Since I'm sure you've worn yourself out running, I think we should take an early lunch and let you recover."

Checking his watch Paul noted it wasn't too early for lunch and nodded his consent.  His legs were starting to feel like noodles anyway.  "I uh, don't suppose you'd be willing to put me down would you?"

"Not a chance," the bear replied, his low chuckle morphing into a deep, hearty laugh as Paul collapsed against his chest with a resigned sigh.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"You need to work out a code," Golden growled as he let himself into Spring's office, later that day.

The gold rabbit rolled his eyes, "he's fine, but I'll work on something, alright?"  He smirked, "can't keep sending our general manager into a panic every time you get cornered by little old ladies."

The bear scowled and punched Spring's arm, "Knock it off."

"You should have seen him running though.  He might actually be able to keep up with Foxy and Mangle."

"Really?"

Spring smirked, "Wanna see?  I've got his whole run queued."

Pulling a chair around to sit next to his friend, Golden raised an eyebrow, "You have to ask?"

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Paul laughed as Golden recounted one of the sillier scenes from the movie they'd just watched.  It was supposed to be a serious action movie, but the corny lines and poor acting had the pair in stitches.  Fortunately, the theatre had been largely empty or they might have been thrown out for causing a disturbance.  As it was, the duo managed to keep their chuckles and guffaws down to a "mostly" polite level.

Reaching the employee housing, they lowered their voices as Golden walked Paul to his dorm.  At the door, Paul sighed and leaned into Golden, not ready to leave the other's company just yet.  Sensing his conflict as it mirrored his own, Golden turned him around and held him close.  Returning the hug, the human sighed in content, resting his head on the bear's chest until the familiar sensation of being watched caused him to lift his head.  Warm brown met with intense aqua as Golden gazed down at him, a determined glint in his eyes.

"Golden?"

Giving him a small smile, the bear cupped his chin and leaned in close, "I'm going to kiss you."

Heart hammering in his chest, Paul tilted his head in invitation, "O-okay."

Leaning in slowly until their lips brushed, Golden paused for perhaps a millisecond before closing the gap.  It was a little awkward at first; Golden having never kissed anyone in this manner and Paul having never kissed someone with a muzzle, but it didn't take long for them to figure it out.  Pulling away to gauge Paul's reaction, Golden saw the same need reflected in the other's eyes and eagerly dove back in, holding the red head even closer and wringing a cute moan from his human that only encouraged him.

Dizzy and overwhelmed, Paul couldn't believe a simple kiss could feel so good!  He'd kissed and been kissed before, but even the most heated, full-blown makeout sessions he'd had couldn't compare to this moment.  This slow, chaste kiss had more emotion in it and set his nerves on fire in the best way possible.

It was the unsettling feeling of several sets of eyes glaring daggers into his back that made a reluctant Golden pull away.  "I'd better let you go before your "moms" decide to intervene," he murmured, casting a wary glance down the hall.

"Well I uh, wouldn't want to ah, get you in trouble," Paul chuckled.  Though he was loathe to part from his boyfriend, he slid out of the bear's arms and unlocked his door.  Just before stepping inside he pushed up on his toes and pressed a sweet kiss to Golden's cheek.  "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Golden replied as the smiling human slipped into his dorm.  When he heard the door latch, Golden left, nodding to Mrs. Chouette as he passed the watching ladies, a happy smile on his muzzle.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"So...how was it?"

Seated in the dorm lounge with his "sisters" Paul tilted his head, brown eyes blinking once, "How was what?"

"Don't play coy...we heard Mrs. Chouette talking with the older ladies this morning."

"About what?"  Paul was so confused.

"Your kiss with Mr. Fazbear of course!"

"Wha-?"  Paul stared at the women, his mouth hanging open in surprise.  He'd never had anyone express this much interest in his dating progress.  They giggled as his face turned red while he thought over their question.  "It was amazing, I've uh, never h-had a kiss that good before."

The girls burst into a round of soft squeals and sighs, further confusing the human.

"Did he use his tongue?"

"!!!!!!" Paul's face darkened to match his hair, "N-no!  W-we d-didn't go that far!"

"All right girls, that's enough questions for now," Mrs. Chouette interrupted, much to Paul's relief.

"Aww."

-

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

1 - See Chapter 1

[seleniftie]

Meeting Taylor.

It’s Sunday evening, I’m on the plane taking me back to Berlin. I’ve cried three times today. The pressure is off, the adrenaline is gone, and it hit me suddenly this morning: I met Taylor Swift.

I’ve been a fan of Taylor since 2009 and never got to see her live until this era. Each tour was a mix of happiness and sadness because I couldn’t make it. So when the UK tour dates of the Reputation tour were released and my friend Morgen bought us tickets without even knowing if I could make it, I couldn’t believe it. It was finally gonna happen, I was gonna see her.

When the tour kicked off, I was mind-blown. The positive energy radiating around Tumblr was incredible. With each tour date, I watched all of my friends getting picked to meet her and it couldn’t be more exciting cause they deserved it so much. I got lots of messages telling me it would happen for me too, especially since Taylor has been following my blog for three years and regularly likes my posts but I didn’t think anything of it — like everyone else on this website, I reblogged my tour posts in case she would see them but I was just rejoicing over the fact that I was finally going to see her.

But then something happened. On a Monday, June 18 at 8:25PM, I went on Tumblr and a DM notification almost immediately popped up on the app. I stopped breathing. It was Taylor Nation. What?! I clicked on the notification and there right under my eyes was a confidential message from Taylor’s team, telling me they’ve got an exciting opportunity they’d like to tell me about and asking me for my information and the best times to reach me. I fucking lost it. I was shaking and hyperventilating and couldn’t believe it it was ME who got that DM. I called my parents absolutely in shock before DMing them back. Then came the paranoia: when are they going to call me? what are they gonna say? I’d seen that they’d usually call people on the Thursday so I decided to keep on living normally and didn’t cancel any of my plans which I told Taylor Nation about. My week was so full!! On Tuesday evening my supervisor and I were invited to see an opera ballet one hour away from Berlin —  so fancy. I was honestly so happy to be there. At some point during the concert though, I decided to check my phone and suddenly froze. I had a missed call from an American number 7 minutes ago. You guys, I flipped my shit. I left the room in a hurry and tried to call Taylor Nation back. No answer. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I was panicking. What if I’d lost the opportunity of a lifetime? I tried to call them back a few times but nothing. A few minutes later though, my phone rang. It was them again!! But then the nightmare went on — I was lost in the countryside and had NO signal. The woman on the phone began to talk but I heard her pretty badly and suddenly the line cut off. She called me back again and I only had the time to explain my situation before it cut off again. We both were trying to call each other but it was a complete failure, and I was left stressed out. I immediately messaged TN to ask them to call me later or the next day.

The next day, I couldn’t calm down. I was bringing my phone with me everywhere I was going. You guys I was feeling so unwell, literally thinking « what if they don’t call me back? ». During the evening I went to another concert for work. God, it was amazing but I barely was listening. Try to picture it: a pianist and a cellist inspired by God playing Debussy and me in the background, phone in hands, stress at its highest level. At one point, my phone lights up: IT’S THEM! And dumbass Camille freaks out so much she declines the call. I swear I thought they would be sooo done with me at this moment, I was hating myself so much for being so clumsy. Thirty minutes later though, they called me back again and my Leaving-A-Fancy-Concert-Event-Thing-With-High-Heels number occurred once again. « Hello? Hi? Are you here ? » — it was the same person who called me the day before. A woman sounding very American. She asked me if she was talking to Camille, told me it was Taylor Nation and that they’d learned I was going to the show on Saturday and that they had a special opportunity for me. She asked me for my info and told me I’ll have to pick up something for me at the box office on the day of the show between 4 and 5, and that they’ll confirm it to me. I was so excited. I had read similar stories before and was almost sure of what it meant: I was going to meet Taylor Swift.

On Thursday I left for London. I there joined my baby Morgen in a hotel in the very lost south of the city, and we had the time of our lives. Friday was even more incredible. We made it to the stadium and there I met my best internet friends. Holly, Jenny, Bessie, Katy, Clément, Aurélie, Marion, Clémence, Ghada, Maya, this is for you. I’m so so so so excited I got to meet you guys!!! We had the best time. Once we entered the stadium, I got so emotional — after nine years, I was finally going to see the person who had inspired me so much for all these years. When she went up onstage I…. lost it. I was crying so much and I had the best time. The concert was obviously fabulous and something incredible happened: Morgen and I were right next to the barriers between the two B-Stages and throughout the night Charli XCX winked at us and touched my hand, then Camila did…. then… Taylor did. There she was, looking like a doll so close to me, grabbing my hand. I couldn’t think straight and came back home absolutely enchanted.

I wake up and it’s Saturday. I go on Tumblr and see Taylor Nation sent me a DM to tell I was confirmed. OH GOD I WAS SO EXCITED. Yet somehow, still couldn’t believe it…. I had so much to do on that day but started it off by making sure I would look my best for the moment I had been waiting for for years. When we were finally ready, we left for the train… but there was no train. Panic attack. I had to be at the stadium in two hours, was currently in the lost countryside of London and there was no train taking us to the stadium, to Taylor. After checking on the internet we found another way to get there but thank god Morgen stayed calm cause I felt so panicked and anxious and kept on saying « I can’t miss it I can’t miss the opportunity». Long story short, we made it there early (and we even had the time to stop at the Waterloo station for me to put on a bit of perfume).

4pm came faster than I thought it would. I started walking nervously to the box office and that’s where I first saw @thefirstdayswift and @9tay8tay9 and @ifoundtaylor13 and @imsoproudoftaylor . YOU GIRLS!!! I then walked up to the counter and told the person behind it I have to pick up something at my name. « On which guest list are you? ». Dude. I HAVE NO IDEA. He then handed me an envelope with my name on it and the following: « Meet & Greet ». It was getting so real I started to be really emotional. I then proceeded to open the letter (you can watch the video here) and my friends came and gave me the biggest hugs, we were all there sobbing and jumping around of excitement. It was 4 and we had to be at the section 144 at 5:45. LET ME TELL YOU IT WAS THE LONGEST WAIT EVER. We bought merch and ate our dinner and Morgen finished our outfits and then it was time. IT WAS TIME SHGDLFJGNSKLJN. I was so excited yet so stressed out. I asked a security guy how I could access the section 144 though I had tickets for the block 551 and he told me not to worry, that I just had to go to my gate and then once I was in, walk around the stadium… Oh how I wish it was that easy. Once we entered the gate we had to take an escalator that directly led us to our block. Realizing that I couldn’t access the section where we had to meet Taylor Nation, I walked up to another security guy and told him everything and let me tell you he was my lifesaver and I wouldn’t have made it without him. He looked at me dead in the eye and said « follow me, okay? ». Morgen looked at me and said « oh my god, it’s time already??? Have the best time and DO NOT FREEZE LIKE I DID » and he hugged me so tight. Then the security agent walked me around the stadium, asking all of his colleagues along the way and guys literally no one working there had any idea of what was up with our blue papers. He was so sweet and reassuring telling me we still had time and asked me how I was feeling and we took secret lifts and passed the security and to anyone asking him what was up he said « she’s got a meet and greet and she’s with me ». At this point I realized I had found my guardian angel and I’m so bummed I didn’t ask for his name but shoutout to you superman cause you saved my life.

At 5:45, we arrived at the section 144 and I saw other girls with the blue paper. My Superhero made sure I was at the right place then wished me lots of fun. I started talking with everyone and that’s when I got to have a proper talk with Helena and let me tell you she’s the sweetest bean! Her mom was with us and was very friendly. They then opened the doors of the stadium and we found ourselves out right next to other blocks and bleachers (we could see the stage). We were asked to walk down the stairs. There were lots of Swifties on the other side of the barriers cheering us on and it was the sweetest thing ever! Once we were downstairs there was this massive entrance and we waited there for about 15 minutes. I got to talk with the twins Pauline and Florine as well while waiting and I started feeling very, very good. Just… very good. This guy from Taylor Nation came up to us and checked our names and gave us the renowned « Reputation Meet & Greet » wristband. I said remember this moment in the back of my mind. A few minutes later and we’re taken inside of the stadium, backstage. We walk into a big lounge with lots of food and couches and there is Scott Swift on our left, greeting us. It was weird seeing him in real life but I enthusiastically said « HI SCOTT! » and he was like « hey girls how are you doing! ». He seemed so happy to be there. From the lounge we could see the Rep Room and we freaked out. We were taken right in front of it and were asked to leave our things on a table and to enter the Rep Room. I’ll never forget this moment cause I held the twins and Helena and we walked in there hugging. The Rep Room was gorgeous, way more beautiful than in pictures. There was music playing, a TV with the Delicate music video on it, drinks on the left and cooked and baked food in the back with the throne. They told us to form a queue and the M&G almost immediately started.

Florine, Pauline and I looked at each other and said « Wait. We’re in the Rep Room and we don’t have the right to walk around it? FUCK IT. ». We walked to the cocktail bar and there were several drinks we could choose from, each being indicated with a Taylor Swift lyric sign. That’s when I saw the « I knew it from the first OLD-FASHIONED we were cursed ». Should I drink alcohol right before meeting Taylor Swift? HELL YEAH. So there we were, drinking an old-fashioned in the rep room and it was so iconic. Then the woman in the back of the room close to the M&G asked us to get in line so we just left our drinks and went back in the queue. That’s when GODDESS TREE PAINE stops at the entrance of the Rep Room and greets us. Most people didn’t see her but I got to talk to her with a few friends and we mentioned the Proud Signs Project we had organized the night before. She said she saw it come to life and it was beautiful and she was being very friendly and she waved back at me when she left.

I started focusing on the moment. The twins looked at me and said «Camille, SHE IS THERE. » I paid attention and suddenly heard TAYLOR FRICKING SWIFT LAUGHING AND TALKING AND I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT WAS ACTUALLY HAPPENING?????? I was the third last person and the twins were right before me. As the line got smaller and smaller I noticed the food and went through the same mental process of should I eat right before meeting Taylor Swift but there was a cookie and honestly isn’t it goals to eat a cookie in the rep room so I quickly left the line to get one and ate it. But then I realized that the twins were next and then it was my turn… so I just left a half-eaten cookie on the furniture, sorry @taylorswift  and @taylornation for the inconvenience, it was delicious do not worry.

As the girls went into the room to meet Taylor, I was alone with Ghada and Morgan right behind me. I focused and told myself one last time what I wanted to tell Taylor (had also written them on my wrist just in case). It was happening. It was my moment and it was happening. The woman with the list (who I believe was Erika) asked me for my name and gave me the little card with which I could have access to my photo with Taylor. I could see Taylor. She was wearing this black t-shirt and had this kaki jacket wrapped around her waist (that turned out to be a fake-shirt skirt thanks @taylorswiftstyle ) and she had those killer heels high knee velvet black boots. Her hair was so pretty and she was telling the twins about how she had seen their tour post six months ago.

Then fate happened. I swear it did. One of my favorite songs of all time, Want You Back by Haim, started playing. I just love it so much!! I started dancing. Then the woman told me « okay it’s your turn » and I walk inside the room while dancing and I say « oh helloooothereeee »…

« Oh hi there buddy! » — a magical fairy princess walks up to me in all haste and hugs me. I’m in Taylor Swift’s arms and decide to introduce myself cause I wasn’t sure if she recognized me or not so while my head is in her hair I softly say « Hey, I’m Cee, seleniftie ». The magical fairy princess steps back and looks at me and her face lits up and I don’t know how I survived cause it was genuine but she looks at me deep in the eyes and shouts « OH MY GOD I LOVE YOUR BLOG SO MUCH YOU’RE SO AMAZING ». I look at her and say thank you I can’t believe you know my blog and she tells me how I’m always so positive and sweet which I reply to by saying that I try my best to send off positive vibes and she was like « that’s so nice, like honestly your posts always make me feel better ». You know how serious Taylor can get when she makes a speech or says something she genuinely means? That’s how she sounded and looked like. The room was silent but I couldn’t hear the music anymore, and still now I can clearly hear her say those words to me. But I played it cool, I have no idea how. So I then tell her how it’s been 3 years already since she followed me and I thank her for liking all those posts and she’s like « oh thank you! » and I tell her it’s so nice to meet her. I also thank her for wanting to meet me and she goes off like « oh I saw your post months ago and sent it my team as soon as possible, and like especially with the London shows I knew it would be hectic (that word really struck me) so I wanted to make sure I’d meet you » and in my mind a monkey jumps from tree to tree while playing cymbals but at this moment, I swear to you guys, I was being myself 100% and had no stress or whatsoever. Our conversation was so natural and she looked genuinely happy to see me. She then looks at me and says « oh my god you’re SO beautiful » which I reply to by saying « thanks you too! » and there I saw The Necklace™, it was really standing out since she was wearing this black t shirt so I just point at it and touch it and say « and look at that! oooooh » while doing the shimmy shoulders and she laughed and did the shimmy shoulders too and I was just out there backstage at the Wembley Stadium doing shimmy shoulders with Taylor Swift over the necklace that inspired my favorite song of hers like it’s a thing that happened.

We were just looking at each other so happily and there was this 0,2 seconds long blank and I suddenly reconnected to reality and heard Want You Back was still playing. I know she loves it a lot too and she liked my post about seeing HAIM two weeks ago so I start talking about them but she starts talking at the same time saying « so/do you… » and I was so unsettled cause TAYLOR SWIFT WAS TALKING TO ME that I mumbled something that apparently made no sense cause she looked at me all focused and serious and said « HUH? ». So there I go again telling « I love the music playing in the background, it’s Haim I love them » and she’s like « OH YEAHHH they’re amazing » and I tell her how I saw them in concert and she’s like « oh yeah you saw them in London? » and I said « no I saw them in Berlin » and it’s hitting me now that she actually remembered my post cause HAIM was playing in London a week before and I saw them two weeks before so she wasn’t exactly sure of the timeline but she remembered okay bye 

(Also did I mention all this time she was looking at me in the eyes ??? we’re both very animatic people so I remember me doing gestures and her moving around and just feeling very at ease but she did! not! break! the! eye! contact! ever!) (and I have no actual memory of this but when I went out of the rep room I recorded my story on my phone and apparently she told me « you’re such a sweet person, you’re so nice » right after we talked about HAIM what what what)

This small talk helped me recollect my thoughts and I remembered my time was limited so I tell her « okay there’s one thing I really want you to know », and I tell her that I play music and I make covers and her face lits up again and she steps back and shouts « OMIGOD I DID NOT KNOW THAT OMIGOD » and I tell her how I’ve done a cover of Babe (reaction to that: « OHHHH THAT’S AMAZING OH MY GOD ») and pretty much all her songs and how they’re on my Tumblr and she can check them out and she told me « OMIGOD that’s so cool I need to check them out ».

Right after Taylor looked at me and walked up to me again and said « so hey, should we take a picture » so she pulls me closer and turns to me and opens her arms and i’m like fuckfuckfuck and look on my left and see all the people in there I didn’t even notice and we hug really tight and pose. We were hugging so tight I literally forgot to smile with my teeth so 2 seconds before they take the picture I open my mouth and that’s why i was so scared of the picture being awkward, but it turned out to be lovely.

The moment we released our embrace I saw a man coming out of the exit of the room with the signed papers and I knew what it meant (your time is over bitch) but I wanted to talk to her about something else so I immediately started talking only to realize that she was making sure with the photographer that the photo was good and she didn’t blink eyes or anything so I quickly said sorry and yeah I always have to check too cause it happens all the time. She nodded and was turning her back to the autograph-guy (let’s call him like that) and I was like you go girl it’s your moment so I tell her about the PROUD signs project that took place the night before and that I helped to organize and I was telling her how amazing it was and how I was running around with my friends giving the pieces of paper to people asking them to raise the sign during the song and she thanked me and told me that it was amazing and explained to me that she’s hardly surprised by things but that our project got her « really really surprised » and she wasn’t expecting it.

I then told her it was so nice to finally meet her and she told me the same and I have no idea of whether we hugged or not cause it was all a blur, the autograph-guy was handing me the paper being like « thanks for coming goodbye » but I remember us saying goodbye and Taylor quickly telling me « I will definitely check out your covers » and I left. They told me to follow someone and I walked back through the lounge and made my way outside and I saw the twins and we hugged so tight. We couldn’t believe it. Then my security guy superhero was waiting for me and you guys he literally walked me back to my section #ANGEL and I thanked him. I then walked up the stairs to Morgen and it was the longest walk ever. I was in shock. I was hardly breathing and it took me forever to get up there, I was holding my autograph and my things so tightly and when Morgen saw me he knew. I could see how proud he was. This random lady asked me if I was okay and I told her I’d just met Taylor and she was very confused and then I told Morgen everything and told you guys… and that’s the story of how I met Taylor Swift. The show was amazing, and at some point she talked about how she had met people at the London shows that were coming from different countries and it made me feel so happy and included. She knows that especially with the UK shows many of us were traveling from far away and she’s so appreciative of it.

Once we came back home I logged on the website with Morgen and Holly on the phone and my picture got uploaded so slowly it was torture, but the moment I saw our faces touching I lost it and started sobbing so slowly… It was 1AM so 2AM in France but I called my parents and they were so happy and excited for me, I really didn’t expect them to be that supportive but I think they were really happy for me and excited that my biggest dreams had come true. I couldn’t sleep and I went to bed at 4am, and Morgen woke up at 5:30am cause he had to take his bus. We hugged in a rush and when I woke up a few hours later I was alone with my memories. I cried a lot that day but seeing my friend Holly helped a lot.

I can’t believe I’m writing this story, and it’s almost done but it wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t mention you who’s reading this. Thank you. When I created my Tumblr account three years ago, I would have never expected to bond with so many people, make so many friendships and be part of such a beautiful community. Many of my friends told me that when I posted I had met Taylor their dashboard was filled with posts being like « CEE MET TAYLOR » and I obviously wasn’t there to see it but one thing I know is that my notifications were blown up and it made the moment even more magical.

To Taylor -- now I’ve told you that in person but thank you for wanting to meet me and thank you for being such a lovely person. Meeting you felt like meeting a friend and I feel like we clicked cause we are the same person on many levels. Thank you for giving so much of your time to your fans and to me - when I heard Love Story in my pink bedroom at 12 I would have never imagined that a few years later the princess in the castle would want to meet me.

I started writing this story on the plane but now I’m home on my bed. I went back to my normal life, to my internship, to my German capital but I’ll always look back on that weekend, that bubble of happiness with a heart full of love. Because in this moment, everything I had ever wanted...had just happened. ❤️

- Cee -

[seeyouinnashville]

The craziest part of this was I was literally explaining the secret sessions to my mom and pretty much made her promise if i ever got invited she'd let me go, and I kid you not Taylor Nation dm'd me 20 minutes after that conversation, i got the message while sitting in a Market Basket (grocery store) parking lot and I quite literally forgot how to breathe, I've never actually been speechless until that moment. I'm pretty sure my mom thought I was dying until i finally chocked out the words "ta-taylor nation just messaged me!" My hands were shaking so much as I replied to the message with the info they needed. They called me a little after that and invited me to a secret event in rhode island on oct 19th and asked if i was able to come. of course i said yes and my parents and i made arrangements to go right after I hung up the phone! My mom and drove down the night before and stayed at a hotel, we could see Taylor's house from our balcony! We arrived the next at the meeting spot and waited there for total an hour or so and got out wristbands and they took our phones. After we got the wristbands we waited a little longer and I was talking to some really nice people!! When we finally made it to Taylor's house I was losing my mind I was so excited and couldn't believe I was actually in her house, the whole night it didn't feel real. When we first got there we got to hang out and eat food she had cookies and chicken nuggets and pizza and it was all great! I talked to Scott a few different times and he literally gave me a handful a picks it was so funny. And later Austin came down and I shook his hand and Andrea was there too and I got to give her a hug!! She's the sweetest woman in the world. After that we were sent into The Room™ aka her living room where she was going to play us the album. I was sitting in front off the side. Someone that I met before hand, Lindsey, suggested that we all sing Fearless while waiting for Taylor to pop in. I don't think I'll ever forget all of us screaming "in this moment now capture it, remember it." We were singing to loudly it almost took us a second to realize Taylor entered the room. I immediately started crying because I still couldn't believe this was actually happening and that she was literally 5 ft in front of me. She played us the album and it was incredible (as you all know now). After she finished playing the album she passed around the magazines and we got to look at those while Taylor stepped out of the room. When Taylor came back she had a glass of wine and I thought it was funniest thing and then she told us she was going to play us something on the piano and we all RAN. I literally sat on her coffee table right behind her and then she started to play All Too Well and literally began to ugly cry, I was seriously sobbing, everyone was and it was strangely beautiful? After she finished playing it was time for the meet and greet to start!! When I walked up to Taylor she immediately went "Morgan!!" and hugged me so tight, I was so nervous I said "oh my god how did you know that?" and she's said "Because of the picture of have of you" and that shook me to my core. She asked me if I like the album and I told her it was hands down her best one yet and that I loved it so much and then she gave me a double high-five!! My mom told Taylor that meeting her has been the number one thing on my bucket list to the last 10 years and Taylor said "You need to find something else now" and I was like "nothing else tops this!!" and Taylor laughed a little and smiled at me. My mom also told Taylor how happy she was for her to find someone she was truly happy with and Taylor was so thankful that. Then it was time for our pictures and Taylor asked me:

"how do you want to pose? we can sit on the couch, hug, hold grammy's"

"i kind of want to hug but i also kind of want to hold a grammy"

"why don't you hold a grammy and i hug you?"

"sounds good!"

And I also got a picture with her and my mom and then she hugged me one more time and we got out merch bags and had to leave. The Secret Sessions are truly something I will never forget and I'm so grateful for the opportunity to have been apart of it. I love Taylor so much and I'm thankful for her and that I have her in my life. And Thank you so much to Taylor Nation for everything that you do. Now go by reputation on iTunes @taylorswift @taylornation

[top5internetsourceshighscho-blog]

Three friendships you need to reconsider when traveling to Australia

'Well, how be you, Martha?\n\nI started penning this on a unconditional abode from Washington, DC, Sun sidereal day good afternoon where I was oddment to a greater extent than twain straight weeks of journey for work. I was beginning in Wellington, unsanded Zealand, where I round at both conferences, and past in DC for other conference, with a day at billet in between. soul commented on an Instagram intelligence picture to differentiate that they didnt kat once how I was conscious, and you guys, I closinguret r every last(predicate)y writing the come forwardset sentence of this paragraph. Lemme go adventure and reread it did I hold open that? It sounds much to a fault coherent. Dont believe some other word of this space un little its bipolar. If I usurpt warp into absolute nonsense, soul call a doctor.\n\nIve had my delightful shargon of loony experiences involving international travelling, the finish up of them be the trinity flights I took derr iere from Peru last course of study with a ceviche-related enteric issue so excruciating I thought authorities might enchant the distress in my face, the sweat on my brow and yield me as a terrorist. And the thing is, if they had I was so mentally stretched trying to notice it to run shorther that I would realise had no qualms resisting arrest tour screaming, ALL I AM DOING IS bear on TO HIDE MY gage! \n\nIs that on instigant or what. skillful lord, Pepto, where is my sponsored content? #travel #lifeofadventure #liveau thuslytic #blessed #notanad # notwith protesting \n\n(I dont forever amount foot on a plane to ANYWHERE with turn up a package of these in my baggage since that incident, and they did not pay me to say that. Although I would or so indisputablely clutch their m 1y.)\n\nI complete during the first paragraph that I never wrote some the simple machinetridge clip I arrived in Brisbane, Australia, having missed my participation in Los Angeles and how I thought I was rough to perish the lead purpose in an contingency of Locked Up Abroad. I believe I hesitated to frame ab by it beca utilize I was terror-struck that the mere rotund of it might deject me in oodles of trouble. But my tardy commons subnormality is hindering my judgment, so fuck it.\n\nThis should end well.\n\nbrisbane1\n\nIll honour it short, sort of, when obligate I ever: an Australian natural law officer had waved rase the car ravishing me from the drome to my hotel and began yelling at the number one wood and wherefore at me, demanding that I tell him wherefore I was in the backseat of that car. Um lets encounter because some beats humans use vehicular transport to move from signify A to address B? Is in that location a more accurate say to that question? BECAUSE THIS IS WHERE I LIKE TO bake A beatified LOAF OF net profit? What did he penury from me?\n\nBut then I realized that he meant wherefore in the backseat and not in the app at omic number 18nt motion seat? I was so jet lagged, so ill-defined and was entering day three with reveal my luggage, day three without having interpreted off my composition or having changed my underwear, that I almost told him that the Chinese driver who utter not a single word of English was my hubby and we were fighting because I was tired of him break wind underneath the c all overs and mentation it was funny.\n\nI am not fashioning this up. Because the elate was so furious he was foaming and tongue that foam from his mouth, flecks of it spatter on the half-rolled pop window. Farting, I thought, is a oecumenical language. Or, universal music? What kick downstairs way to diffuse this bomb, am I right.\n\nBUT. Oh, yes, there is a but in this story and its not til now my butt. Sorry about that.\n\nSuddenly I realized, oh god abide! What if true unknown adept A or CERTAIN nameless FRIEND B or CERTAIN obscure FRIEND C has decided that it would be funny to mistake a certain kind of non-poisonous arrangement into my wallet, astute 1) I actually, sincerely dont care nontoxic arrangements (SEE: that one time in 1999 when I got so paranoid after green goddess weed that the SKU on bottle of A1 Steak act in my icebox made me urinate it had been manufactured sooner Christ and that I had somehow, without any retention of doing so, stolen it from the government) and 2) that I was locomotion to a opposed country. Yes, there ar three friends in my life who would institutionalize this kind of magic on me, and now my lawyer is tardily looking over his shoulder and deleting any single flip of evidence that link us together.\n\n gauge WHAT, SCOTT! This will for certain be printed out and use against me in court and YOU are going to have to convince the reckon that its large words on a blog while I sit back with my legs crossed on the table and pretend to smoke a fake joint.\n\nIn the span of less than a moment I began castle in S pain of how good it would heart to waterboard CERTAIN UNNAMED FRIENDS because I very did believe that the cop was going to draw me out of the car, take care my luggage and wrinkle and, welp! Hello, Piper in an Australian prison!\n\nBut then he took one step nestled to the door of the car, and I assumption all the exhaustion and sense and lost luggage swirled into a perfective storm of OH MY perfection I AM GOING TO set out A lesbian IN A FOREIGN prison and I started mutely sobbing. Quiet as a child doll, I was, a baby bird whose wings are broken and is untruth on the run aground twitching in pain. Pathetic. Something that a really angry chela would pick up between his thumb and forefinger to frisson and see if its still awake(p) before he throws it into the air and whacks it with his backpack.\n\nMy shoulders were go in turn to my silents sobs, and that question made what I finally explicit sound like I was being exorcised underwater: I dont under stand. And then I wiped the snot gushy from my nose with the back of my hand and dramatically rubbed it on my pants. non like they were unfermented pants leastways!\n\nI guess he took poignancy on me and locomote back to the bearing of the car to write the driver two tickets: one for speeding, and the irregular one for direct a political hack without a good permit. I would later(prenominal) find out that the car the driver normally used had proper stickers on the windshield. Except that car had a bland tire, so he borrowed someone elses vehicle. Which, FINE. I forgive him for creating a government agency that triggered my patented death spiral, its retributive on pilfer of missing my joining and not crafty if or when I would ever see my luggage again, AND hence\n\nYep. Theres an AND THEN\n\nI ended up crashing a renting car not two hours later. date trying to putting green it.\n\nYou know those obtain cart outlet stalls in the middle of position lots? Turns out that in Australia they move around and jump out in earlier of your car from out of nowhere.\nIf you want to get a full essay, order it on our website: Looking for a place to buy a cheap paper online? Buy Paper Cheap - Premium quality cheap essays and affordable papers online. Buy cheap, high quality papers to impress your professors and pass your exams. Do it online right now! '