#i am just. like. i am disgusted. i am so disheartened. i am like really might give up this line of work.

[tshifty]

.

[wis-art]

about salem from my twitter

here are my thoughts, me and salem have been talking a lot in private about everything that has happened to him over the years, and just how much people act entitled to dehumanize salem as a person over rumors of him being a weird groomer pedophile, which he isn't and never has been, and I would not be defending a pedophile on my platform 👍

Salem is NOT faking any of his disabilities (another claim people love to make as if he is a psychotic person just for the fun of it and just to get out of this hot water, which you know is EXTREMELY ableist) and any time any of this would come up in the conversation he would just freak out and have a mental breakdown reliving these horrible fucking memories of being harassed by all his peers and friends. It is debilitating, not just funny haha neurospicy mental illness. But actually required to take medicine to function and struggling with not being delusional. Hearing all these things people said about him on the internet made him believe it and he has ended up in psych ward due to this harassment many times, not to mention countless nights i spent calming him down and keeping him company just so he isn't alone with these thoughts. When people we have never heard of claim he is some kind of machiavellian evil person who orchestrated all this shit just to manipulate people into liking him and somehow tricked his friends into liking him, it really is disheartening and disgusting thing to say about a disabled black queer person in need of support and help from his community. And believe me people tried their best to sever him from any kind of support over the years, doxxing, harassment, trying to shame his friends for helping him you name it he has went through this.

This isn't just a cautionary tale, this is life ruining controversy that the internet put the random irresponsible 19 year old he was through. He is not what people claim him to be, and i am sick and tired of just how people hijack queer ocmmunities against themselves to fight their representation in media and art online. A lot of these rumors spread from lots of right wing spaces through the queer community and people just ate this fascist meal up.

I am glad he is still here and kicking, if it was anybody else put through this shit i am afraid they wouldn't have made it. But salem is strong and awesome and an amazing person, who has survived and is thriving too.

anyways, fuck twitter and everyone who has harassed him

[viivenn]

making an important announcement about some things i’ve noticed in the gwendoline christie fandom that really bug me.

disclaimer: read this at your own convenience and discretion. i am not responsible for any sort of hurt feelings and frankly… i don’t care. if you’re mad about this, you are probably the problem. /lh

to start with id like to begin on a positive note so that i’m not diving into negativity, i don’t want to be completely negative about my experiences because i’ve actually met some of the kindest people in the world through this fan base.

the gwen fandom, the gwandom, the gwendoline christie fandom , the lesbian cesspool, has been an incredible experience that i’m grateful i’ve had the pleasure of being apart of.

i went through a rough patch during november, and if i hadn’t found out about gwen, or met such wonderful people during my time here , i honestly wouldn’t be here right now. i owe my life to these people, gwen included. i will forever adore miss christie and what she stands for alongside the friends i’ve made along the way.

and while i know someday this hyperfix will end, it’s really disheartening to me when a fandom is what makes me grow distant from things i enjoy. it happened before, i feel as though it is happening all over again.

and no, i’m not taking issue with anything like the catrissa stuff or the brienne and larissa ship going around or anything like that. i like that we can all be weird together and enjoy aus like catrissa and crackships like bririssa (not sure the official name that was decided lol). my issue is the amount of content i’ve seen that either focuses on gwen herself, or the strange relationship with minors, or the odd artwork of gwen, and the absolute disgusting behaviour towards giles.

gwen would be absolutely appalled seeing fanfictions of herself that involve nsfw or just her in general, anyone would, it’s disgusting to make works of real people in that setting. it’s like you’re treating them as an original character you can mould and manipulate as you see fit and using someone who is real with thought and feeling and consciousness for smut fics is not okay, or any fic in general. i totally get the hype around her characters, i literally have “brienne’s princess” in my bio and i’ve had “jane murdstone’s bloodbag” (in reference to my vamp au) as a name in a discord server.

but i think the fandom has begun to blur the lines between fictional characters and reality settings when it comes to gwen and the personalities she portrays on the television screen. it’s not fair to her. it’s disgusting. i’ve seen a minor do it, i’ve seen a grown adult do it. it’s something i don’t see shamed and frowned upon often enough and it’s really not okay.

on that note i’d like to quickly mention the photos, we alllll know what photos i’m talking about. the bunny one, the nudes, the ones gwen has expressed regret towards and wishes to not have them spread. was there not a “fan” who brought her a book of her nudes and wanted her to sign it? that person who was blocked on instagram by gwen because they reposted her nudes on their story and tagged her???? how can you refer to yourself as a fan after behaving so abhorrently? absolutely disgusting behaviour. as a collective fandom we need to stop touching those photos (metaphorically speaking) and leave them in the past.

i’ve been told of numerous circumstances in which adults have shown their nsfw works to minors in this fandom and it has to fucking stop. it’s disgusting!! how can you do that knowingly? i constantly ponder terminating my account after a minor got ahold of my nsfw work, and upon realising they WERE a minor it was as simple as blocking and moving on. it’s truly not that hard, folks. and the minors on tiktok who fight with others saying silly things like “that’s my wife” or worse. i’ve seen it all, i feel like, and the more i see it the more sick i become. i cannot stand it.

i have seen and heard of fans who have fat shamed gwen for that one pink dress she wore to the met gala. she looked so happy in that dress, and the audacity one must have to fatshame that poor woman on twitter then turn around and continue to proclaim your ‘love for her’ as if you’d done no wrong? are you fucking serious? are you mental?

and the sexualisation over the porcelain doll look, gods some of you are sick. those were not real breasts, people. considering the fact she wholeheartedly regrets her nude photoshoots , what possesses you to believe she would actually flaunt her chest in that outfit?

the blatant mistreatment of poor giles is not fucking okay either. just because you’re jealous of someone who makes her immensely happy does not give you the right to post something so vile and cruel about him. shame on you. why do you believe this is okay to post:

????????

are you serious? have any of you stopped to consider how HAPPY giles makes her? or is her happiness the last thing you ponder when you look at her? have you even noticed how unhappy she looks lately? have you truly paused to consider how she would feel about seeing this on your page, random twitter user, or the rest of you who think this is okay? bless your hearts.

and some of the absolutely horrific things i’ve seen about her online and the hurtful behaviour towards giles makes me question the difference between a fan and just the general paparazzi. because if you truly loved her and you truly loved giles then i would not be ranting into the fucking void about it for no reason.

i avoid interacting with pages i find problematic on here to keep from stirring the pot but tonight i chose violence and got reeeeeal pissy about how i felt about this place. it’s not okay what i see on here and it’s getting exhausting seeing the same cycle of content on a daily.

that’s everything i have to say, i think. i probably missed a lot that should be discussed in the comments but i’m done for now because i know if i go on i’ll probably cry.

before you post things about real people with real feelings , stop to consider how they will feel those real feelings towards the content you put out. chances are you’ll become less problematic and obnoxious that way. 💘

[queenshelby]

An Illicit Affair

Part 44: Max's Interview

Pairing: Cillian Murphy (47) x Reader (24)

Warning: Age-Gap, Taboo Relationship, Infidelity

Soon after the article surfaced, there was also an interview with Max following his father's win, airing on national television. His interviewer asked him the awkward questions about his father and Max appeared keen to finally speak out about how hurt he had been when he found out about your relationship. 

"What are your thoughts about your father's new relationship, with your ex-girlfriend, out of all people?" he had asked after discussing Cillian's Oscar win.

Max had taken a deep breath before answering, his voice calm but filled with underlying anger. "Honestly, I am appalled, disheartened, and feel incredibly betrayed by my father's actions and by the actions of my ex as well," he said, his eyes cold and stern. "I mean, honestly, wouldn't you be disgusted knowing that your girlfriend has some sort of relationship with your father? Like a sexual one? It's f*** gross, isn't it?" Max continued his rant, seemingly gaining confidence as he went on. 

"Were you together for long before she got involved with your father?" the interviewer persisted, pressing Max for an answer.

"Well, I guess you could say that we have been pretty seriously involved with each other before she met my father, but I am wondering whether this was all an act. Maybe this was all her trying to somehow get to know him. To get to know someone famous, you know?" Max asked, with growing anger in his voice. "Honestly, it's sick and I don't want to be associated with this whole mess. I don't even know how to face my friends anymore."

"So you think she might be a gold digger so to speak?" the interviewer asked, leading Max further into his conjectures about you.

Max inhaled deeply and leaned back into the chair.

"Yeah, I would say she is and I was blindsided by her actions, you know. When I think about it now, there were signs that something was off between them, like really early into our relationship, after I introduced her to my parents. I just didn't want to see it, maybe it was her way to get herself a famous guy with money,"  Max added, feeling bile rise up his throat.

The interviewer, clearly eager to fan the flames of this scandal, leaned in and asked, "And what about your father, Max? You said that you were surprised when you found out." 

Max let out a bitter laugh. "What can I say? Of course I was surprised because this is not like him, you know. He is not really a ladies man but I think that, with her, he just hit a midlife crisis or something,"  Max replied, his voice sharp and bitter.

"So you think this won't last? Between them?" the interviewer  persisted, pressing Max further.

Max cast his gaze downward momentarily before lifting up his head, eyeing the interviewer soberly. "I don't think this whole relationship between them will last. She is like half his age and very immature," he asserted confidently with a shaky voice. "That is unless she pins a f*** kid on him or something," Max continued, necessarily necessarily parting his lips to maintain airflow while engineering such offensive comments.

When you and Cillian watched this interview at home, Max's words left you feeling like you had been punched in the gut, a wave of guilt and regret crashing over you as Max's harsh words played over and over in your mind. You knew that things were bound to get complicated once the world found out about your secret relationship with Cillian. However, you had never imagined that it would hurt Max this much.

Looking over to Cillian, who was sitting next to you,  your heart ached for the conflicted emotions in his eyes. It was clear that Max's words had cut him deeply, too. He was lost for words and turned pale , swallowing hard as his thoughts ran wild.

You reached out and took his hand, wrapping your fingers around his tightly, offering silent support as his emotions got the better of him.

"You know that this isn't true , right?" you whispered softly, watching as his eyes flickered over to meet yours. Your eyes were tearing up by this point and you  blinked fast in an attempt to keep the tears at bay.

"I never did any of this on purpose. I didn't get involved with Max so I could meet you and I certainly didn't, oh my god...," you broke down  , tears spilling over your lashes and trailing down your cheeks, unable to mask the turmoil building inside of you. 

"Y/N, shh, it's alright. I know it's not true,"  Cillian whispered, pulling you towards him gently, cradling you in his arms. He rubbed circles on your back, trying to soothe you as your sobs wracked your body.

"I didn't want any of this to happen, Cillian. I didn't want to hurt Max or anyone else. I just...I fell in love with you and I couldn't help it," you said, sniffling between each word as you tried to regain control of your emotions.

Cillian sighed deeply, his own emotions swirling within him as he listened to you.

"I know, love. I fell in love with you, too." His voice was soothing as he smoothed a hand down your hair. 

"I would hate for people to think otherwise, Cillian and now, with the baby , it will only make things worse," you hiccuped, looking up at him, your eyes red and swollen, but still filled with love.

"Let people think what they want Y/N," Cillian paused, his voice emotional, but firm. "I don't care anymore. I have you in my life, we are going to have a family together, and nothing those tabloids can say about us can change that fact. I will love you both no matter what they say. Max will come around eventually, and when he does, things will be smooth sailing. I promise," he echoed comfortingly.

You nodded weakly, relieved that he was echoing your thoughts.

Cillian then shifted his weight to look into your eyes and you leaned up to kiss him, feeling a surge of love for him. 

"You know the pregnancy wasn't planned, right? I never planned for this to happen," you  murmured somberly, your heart heavy with guilt.

Cillian's expression softened, a weary sadness reflecting in his eyes.

"I know Y/N. I know," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion as he pulled you closer to him.

You both sat there for a long moment, wrapped up in each other's embrace, neither knowing what to say or how to make it right. 

"Your father is so going to kill me though when he finds out," Cillian said with a humorless chuckle as he leaned back to look at you. "We got to tell your parents you know, and Max as well unfortunately," Cillian took a deep breath, as if trying to steel himself for the inevitable confrontation. 

Cillian's closest family members already knew, Lucy knew too, and so did Cillian's assistant. 

But that was about it. There was a small circle of people who knew about the pregnancy, but the rest of the world was still in the dark.

Cillian was right about one thing, it was time to tell your parents, it was time to tell Max, even though you weren't looking forward to either of those conversations.

You couldn't help but wince at the thought, knowing that your parents, and Max, were going to react poorly to the news.

"Yeah," you murmured softly, swallowing hard as you let the magnitude of everything really sink in. You couldn't help but feel a twinge of fear and regret knowing that this could ruin everything.

"We will tell my parents next weekend, when we drive up to visit them. I know you didn't really want to come with me, but I think you should, considering the circumstances," you said, looking up at Cillian, whose eyes were filled with concern.

"Alright, I'll come but fuck, your father is going to be pissed," Cillian sighed heavily, leaning back against the sofa, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Tell me about it," you agreed, a strained smile playing on your lips before thinking about how to tell him and how to tell Max as well. 

Tags:

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@nela-cutie @futurecorps3 @delishen @nosebleeds-247 @thirteenis-myluckynumber @gills-lounge @hjmalmed @lost-fantasy @tiredkitten @sidechrisporn @smallsoulunknown @charqing-qing @hopefulinlove @aporiasposts @shycrybaby @me-and-your-husband @hjmalmed @lacontroller1991 @galxydefender @aporiasposts

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[bodycountgame]

Hiiiii I was thinking about some of the drabbles from before and everyone has History and Some Issues, but I’m curious so,, what would the ROs younger selves think about who they grew up to be? Or what would the ROs tell their younger self?

anon i am obsessed with this question... in terms of meeting their younger selves:

adegoke: his child self would be confused and probably a bit scared. his teenage self would be a little disappointed. there is a lot that adegoke had to work through to get to where he is now. 

arthur: i keep going back and forth on what young arthur would think of his older self, because i’m not sure that he would really know what to think. i don’t think he would be pleased. i think the closest emotion would probably be disgust, because what a sad little life. 

atticus: i think young atticus would be so pumped at how he turned out and i think that would make present day atticus very sad indeed. 

avery: would be angry before any other emotion, i think, because she wants more for herself and she must have done something wrong somewhere along the way to fall so short of what she is capable of. i think that she and present day avery could have a very long talk about that, but she would need to make all of the same mistakes for herself anyway. 

charlie: i guess just bewildered? i think that of everyone, charlie might be the most surprised by where he ended up. 

ellis: before the start of the show? i think young ellis would be pleased that they had achieved so many of the things that they weren’t sure they would be capable of doing, and perhaps a little sad that they hadn’t done some of the other things that they thought would come easily. as of episode 3? crushingly, excruciatingly heartbroken. 

florrie: thrilled, delighted, absolutely jazzed! after always being told that growing up would mean giving up a lot of the things she finds fun, little florrie would be so thrilled to learn that isn’t true. 

griffin: i’m not sure how much thought griffin has ever really given to the future or who he will be or where he’ll end up, so i’m not sure he’d have strong feelings either way? he’d be like oh okay and then go back to playing hahaha 

imogen: really proud of herself. imogen has had to do a lot of hard things to get to where she is and i think young her would be grateful to know that she does have it in herself to do them, actually. 

nyra: would be encouraged by some parts and disheartened by others, but in general i think it would be extremely emotionally charged. they’d have a big hug, there would definitely be tears.   

rowan: teenage rowan would probably be like omg cringe hahaha - she had a real Not Like Other Girls phase and adult rowan kind of prides herself on being like other girls actually because girls are sick!  

syd: would be fuckin psyched, i think? syd more than anyone has really exceeded their childhood expectations. 

vinh: would just absolutely break down in tears of relief. they made it, they're doing it, they're okay. their life isn’t perfect, but it’s theirs and they are living it on their own terms. also they get to make art all the time, and isn’t that just the dream.

[heartshattering]

I still haven't found a solution for being fatigued all the time. Caffeine doesn't help, doctors don't help, literally nothing helps and I'm at the end of my fucking rope. I just don't know what to do anymore.

I can't take prescription stimulants because I'd be putting my heart at risk but sometimes it really is tempting to see if I could go to a new doctor and not tell them about my history of arrhythmia and see if they'd prescribe me something (but I won't since 1 - I'm too scared and 2 - it's not like doctors here ever want to prescribe anything either way, IF you're even lucky enough to see a doctor since the waiting lists are long af).

I feel like I've been spending all day sleeping, and when I am awake, I'm absolutely useless. I have constant headaches, I feel physically uncomfortable all the time (too hot, too sweaty, too itchy), and nothing makes me feel 'good' anymore. My only relief is sleep, and even then it doesn't do much for me since I still wake up tired, sometimes even more tired than before thanks to my nightmares.

Idk, it's just disheartening to have to deal with this because this is seriously interfering with my life. And I feel like I can't do anything about it. I'll always be the person in the house who needs the least amount of help. My mom can't get out of bed so of course she needs the most assistance. My aunt is depressed because her husband died so she gets all the sympathy from people. And then my dad is working all the time so of course he has a ~real~ reason to be tired while I don't (even though he literally only 'works' so that he doesn't have to be around us, and spends most of the time doing stupid shit in his office like arguing in the comments).

Every day the list of stuff to do piles up, to the point where it's barely even fun anymore. Things I used to enjoy feel like chores now. I can't catch up with that series I love, because I always end up falling asleep while trying to concentrate on it. I can't try out that new game my friends are all talking about, because my brain feels too drained to figure out how to play it and I'm embarrassed that I'd just slow them down. I can't self-study topics that normally I'd enjoy, because my brain just isn't absorbing anything and it makes me feel so fucking overwhelmed.

Then, there's the ACTUAL chores... I can't clean my room, I can't keep things organized, I feel too exhausted to cook. My hygiene has gone down the drain, like I currently feel disgusting right now but I can't do anything about it. I haven't done laundry in the longest time, all my used clothes are piled up and they smell like (and possibly actually have) mold.

I take care of my mom and my dog, but that's it... when it comes to taking care of myself, I just can't. And everything feels like too fucking much.

[duskyashe]

CAMP NANO DAY 27

[First] [Previous] [AO3]

=============‹«⟨·•★•·⟩»›=============

They'd been living in Gotham for two and a half months, now, and Sam was running out of the fertilizer that she used on her bonsai tree. She'd done some research before leaving the apartment earlier, but as she stormed out of the fifth "garden supply" store on her list in disgust, she was beginning to get worried and disheartened. If she couldn't find the fertilizer she used, she'd have to settle for a different, and most likely lower quality one, and there was a pretty large chance her bonsai wouldn't react well to a sudden and drastic change like that.

I suppose I could ask Danny to ask Batman if He knows where I could get some, Sam thought as she stalked down the street with a huff. She soon found herself in a beautiful park and decided to take a break from all the walking she'd been doing. He is meeting up with Him and Robin for their first lesson tonight, anyway, and the Bat has expressed concern over our safety before. Sam stared down at her more than slightly crumbled list in hesitation. Should she? She knew Danny would do everything he could to help her if she let on that she needed something, but she wasn't sure if she was comfortable with Batman and His clan knowing so much about her, yet.

Sam let out a sigh of defeat. She knew in her roots that the rest of the stores on her list weren't any better than the five she'd already tried, but she was hesitant to trust anyone outside of her Fright with her true nature. She knew, logically, that Batman was unlikely to use the knowledge to harm her or her Fright, but as Jazz had told them all multiple times before, anxiety didn't follow logic and that was okay. Didn't make it any less frustrating, however.

She'd just crushed her list in her fist yet again, half convinced she really should just go home and ask Danny to talk to Batman about some way of getting her fertilizer, when she felt her connection to The Green, normally dormant in her chest next to her Fright bonds, suddenly flare with concern. Sam gasped at the rush and her head shot up, gaze instantly honing in on the figure halfway across the park from her and rapidly closing in.

"Oh, you poor flower, are you alright?" The being asked as they, she, got closer. Her bright red hair was nearly floating around her form, her leaf green eyes glowing with concern, and her aura was reaching out to brush gently against her own. Doctor Pamela Isley, better known as Poison Ivy, knelt down in front of her and gently grabbed her fisted hand in both of her own. Sam slumped back against the bench as she felt the vitamins and minerals she'd slowly been depriving herself of as she rationed the last of her fertilizer to spread it as fast as possible suddenly filled her up. I honestly hadn't realized I'd gotten that bad, Sam thought, nearly delirious. "Flower, dear, please answer me. Are you alright?"

"N-not really," Sam managed through the tears she hadn't even realized she was shedding. She squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to get ahold of herself. Ancients, why am I crying about this? "C-can't find my f-fertilizer, a-almost out, been r-rationing what's left."

An earth warm hand came up to cup her cheek, thumb wiping away the tears that streaked through her makeup as care thrummed through The Green. "Hush, my Flower, you don't have to worry about that anymore. I'll provide you with the nutrients you need. Do you have a clan? A safe place to stay?"

Sam's eyes flashed open at that. Purple met green and suddenly, she knew. Poison Ivy was more than just a metahuman eco-terrorist turned antihero with a connection to The Green. She was a Nature Spirit and The Green's Avatar in this realm.

=============‹«⟨·•★•·⟩»›=============

It was finally time for Bruce and Damian's turn to meet up with Phantom for their first session. He would have preferred to have met sooner, perhaps before Dick and Duke had their turn, but Bruce had been called away on an urgent business trip not even a week after Jason and Steph's own first session, and he wasn't sending his youngest off to meet with Phantom without him. Damian had huffed at his decision, but ultimately (and thankfully) agreed without much fuss. He'd been back for a few weeks, but Riddler had escaped Arkham shortly after he'd returned, thus pushing back their session until tonight.

During Phantom's questions, Bruce couldn't help but think back to their first meeting, and Damian's fit after they'd arrived home. It had taken three separate blood tests, run by three different family members, each confirming that Damian was definitely Bruce's biological son, to calm the fifteen year old down. He may not subscribe to his grandfather's rhetoric anymore, that bloodlines were everything, but his pride at being Bruce's biological son was an integral part of who he was. That pride had been challenged when Phantom had first called Robin a changeling. Even the League of Assassins taught the myths and legends of fairies who stole human children and left a changeling in their place, after all.

"Alright, Batman, I'm happy to announce that my guess about you and Robin were correct, you're a major deity, Gotham's guardian trickster deity of darkness, to be precise," Phantom said, drawing Bruce out of his thoughts. He wanted to question the trickster part, but then he realized that he had actively encouraged his children to lean into the myths and legends that had sprung up surrounding their vigilante personas, and had to concede the point. "I'm sure you can extrapolate what your domains are, so I won't bother explaining those, but essentially, the entirety of Gotham City is your territory, and as the head of your clan, as well as the Gotham pantheon, you're intrinsically tied to the spiritual wellbeing of the inhabitants of your city. I can give you more details later, but it's important for you to know that as a major deity as well as both the head of a clan and the head of a major city's personal pantheon, your powers and abilities will only continue to grow. We'll have to carefully plan your training to account for that, but speaking from experience, it's certainly doable!" Speaking from experience? That peaked Bruce's curiosity. He would definitely be asking for more information on this whole "clan head and head of the Gotham pantheon" thing, though, perhaps he would see if there were any books or online resources he could scour through.

Phantom turned to look at Damian next, and Bruce turned his thoughts away from his many questions (and his insecurities, he struggled with being a father half the time, how was he supposed to be the head of a clan and the head of a pantheon as well?) to focus on what Phantom revealed about his son.

"Robin, you're a changeling, a member of the fae courts and one of the most prolific tricksters outside of kitsune and trickster deities themselves. You can shift your physical looks to appear however to so desire, though your core can't change forms all that easily, that means no nonhumanoids without extensive and highly specialized training. As a member of the fae—" Bruce, sensing his son's distress growing, and feeling extremely confused himself, interrupted at that point.

"How is Robin a changeling? I know who both of his parents are, I know without a shadow of a doubt he is biologically their son, and that neither of his parents are changelings or even of the fae, either," Bruce rumbled, a hint of his "interrogation" growl (so named thanks to Dick) entering his voice due to his confusion.

Phantom tilted his head in contemplation. "How sure are you that his parents aren't fae?" he asked.

"He's my son," Bruce responded.

Phantom blinked at him with wide eyes for a few moments before letting out a soft, "Huh." His face scrunched up in confusion after that. "But wait. That doesn't make any sense. You're definitely a major deity, he's definitely only a changeling, and as far as I can remember, both of those species breed true, they're both dominant traits. You—he—that shouldn't be possible. Robin should be both if he's biologically your son, and he isn't, what the—?" He was cut off by a sudden flash the same color as his eyes as something appeared on the cover of his notebook. It appeared to Bruce, from the angle he was at, to be a bright green post-it note with big purple letters on it. Phantom was staring at it in a combination of frustration, resignation, and incredulity. "What does he mean, "The Power of Belief"? Can't Clockwork be just the slightest bit less cryptic?" Phantom asked with a sigh. He ran a hand down his face before looking back up from the post-it note. "I'm sorry, my mentor likes to mess with me while still being helpful. It'll take some research, but apparently the power of belief has something to do with how you and your son can be two different species. If I could, I'd go pout at him until he gave me a clearer answer, but that's not currently an option, I'm afraid. We're on our own on figuring this out, but hey, at least we have a starting point, right?"

Bruce glanced over at Damian. It always startled him how tall his son was already, and he didn't look to be slowing down anytime soon. The non-answer didn't sit well with him, and he knew it didn't sit well with his son, either, but Phantom was right about one thing. At least they had a starting point. They'd figure out how Bruce and Damian were two separate species, and they'd figure out how they all became members of the supernatural in the first place, but until then, they had work to do. They had new powers and abilities to learn how to use.

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Hi hi! Thank you to everyone who participated in my Sam poll, it really helped a lot (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠) I'm considering writing another cryptid Batfam fic where Sam is a vampire/bat shifter, because I really like that idea, too, but I'm pretty happy with how this turned out!

Sam's POV is yet another first for me, and I'm pretty sure it's at least slightly OOC, but there're a number of factors at play that I think at least lessen how badly OOC she is. First, she's sixteen here, not fourteen, so she's had a little more time to mature and settle into who she is. Second, she's no longer human, herself, and she's had longer to adapt to that change than the Bats have, which has changed her perspective some. Third, she's suffering from a vitamin and mineral deficiency and isn't functioning at her best. And forth, she's still recovering from suddenly having to flee her home, that crap is traumatic as hell. If she's OOC, it's for a good reason imo 乁⁠(⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠ര⁠ ⁠ʖ̯⁠ ⁠ര⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠)⁠ㄏ

I hope the interactions between characters were entertaining and believable! Also, if anyone is interested, I have a list of everyone's ages as of the beginning of the series that I can include in the next chapter (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠) I worked very hard on it (⁠◠⁠‿⁠◕⁠)

Have a good morning/day/night!

[itsjeongris]

We met in a Cruel Summer

It was the summer after high school when Y/n decided to go to her friend’s party only to involve herself with her school’s heartthrob, Kim Gyuvin.

Kim Gyuvin x F!Reader

A/N: This is the first story I wrote in a while so pls go easy on me sorry if it isn’t good and some things don’t make sense sorry

Word Count: 5.8k.

Warnings/Tags ig: She/Her pronouns used for reader, Angst? Fluff, Mild profanities, Mentions of food, Yelling, and ONE mildly suggestive scene, Takes place a year before boys planet got announced so gyuvin is like 17 here and the characters I write about here don’t reflect the idols in real life. (Pls msg if there’s more I haven’t added)

It was the first night of the summer, and Y/n was wearing a white long-sleeved collared shirt and black pants. She put on light makeup and then decided to make her way to her friend’s house for a party. She walked out and then went to the bus stop. While waiting she encountered her neighbor and IT boy at her school, Gyuvin. He had a promiscuous reputation, playing with girls, and things like that. He was at the top of his class every semester so his teachers couldn’t be bothered to involve themselves in high school drama. ‘I heard some nasty things about this dude from Seo-yun, it’s better to not get involved’ She thought, planning to avoid the boy. Much to her dismay, he decided to come up to her, sending her a smile that most girls swooned over. 

“Hey, Y/n!” He said as he came up to her. “Are you going to Seo-yun’s party too?” Gyuvin added. “Yeah, I actually am” She replied, not wanting to be rude to him. “Great, so am I, you wanna go together?” He asked her with a smile. “Yeah, sure. I don’t mind” She said, noticing he looked genuinely happy she didn’t wanna dishearten him by declining. “Great! Let’s go then” He said pointing to the bus that just arrived. They both got on the bus sitting next to each other then talking about random things. She found out he has a dog and he’s part of a dance studio called Yuehua.

They soon arrived at the bus stop near Seo-yun’s place and both went out of the bus. The walk there was silent but not awkward, Y/n took the chance to think about things, ‘Gyuvin seems like a polite person though, maybe Seo-yun was lying about it?’ She said while unintentionally staring at him. “You know, if you’re gonna stare at me the entire time might as well ask me out,” He said with a smirk on his face. “Jeez I was just looking at you for like a second and why would I wanna date you? I just met you” She replied, noticing the boy looking dejected. 

“Whatever let’s just go now.” It went silent and awkward for the two teens. They soon arrived at Seo-yun’s place. Knocking on the door then it opens, “Oh hey, Y/n- Woah Gyuvin you actually went?” Seo-yun asked in confusion while opening the door wider as a gesture to come in. “Yeah I mean I don’t have anything else to do so might as well.” He said letting himself in while grabbing Y/n’s hand to drag her along.

Seo-yun looked at the two suspiciously but ignored it and quickly dragged Y/n to where Sooha was waiting for them. “Girl- you got some explaining to do,” Seo-yun said to Y/n while she looked at them confusedly, “What do you mean?” After she said that she quickly realized what they meant. “First off, you came in here with THE Kim Gyuvin, Second, HE HELD YOUR HAND?” Sooha freaked out and looked disgusted. Y/n looked confused, “Listen, I only went with him because he offered to, and like- he just dragged me in? what’s wrong with it?” After Y/n said that Seo-yun made them go to a different room so they can discuss things more privately.

“We told you already okay, HE’S A FUCKING PLAYBOY HE’S JUST GONNA MANIPULATE YOUR FEELINGS LIKE HES DONE WITH ALMOST EVERYONE IN OUR SCHOOL” Seo-yun yelled out feeling frustrated, knowing she had some secret that she didn’t want to admit to her. “Can we just, enjoy the party? I don’t really wanna talk about this right now..” Y/n said nervously, trying to avoid the situation from spilling over. 

“Fine, but we’re talking about this tomorrow,” Seo-yun concluded then all of them went back to the main room. Gyuvin approached Y/n as soon as she left the room. “Hey Y/n do you wanna hang out with me for a bit?” He asked her confidently. She thought about it and noticed none of his friends he seemed to hang around him were there and she didn’t want to embarrass him. “Yeah sure, I’m free anyways.” She said hesitantly

“Great! let’s go then?” He said grabbing her wrist and then taking her to where the drinks and food were. He grabbed a bag of chips while realizing Y/n hasn’t gotten a drink or any food. “Y/n, are you not gonna get anything?” He asked her worriedly. “Nope, I already ate a bit before coming here.” She said.

“That’s good, but you should eat still,” He said. “Yeah, I will” She replied and realized that he isn’t as bad as Seo-yun and Sooha made him out to be. There weren’t many people at the party but the loud music made her cover her ears occasionally. Gyuvin noticed it and asked her “Is it too loud for you? Do you wanna stay on the balcony?” She was surprised he even noticed it.

“I mean only if you want to” She replied back, it got silent between them, the only thing being heard was the loud music blaring from the speakers and the conversations of those around them. “What are you waiting for? let’s go.” He said grabbing her hand again, ‘I swear this is like the 3rd time today’ She thought. 

They went up the stairs and soon reached the balcony. It wasn’t small and was fairly big for a balcony. It was empty except for the fake grass placed on the floor. Gyuvin sat down and Y/n followed soon after. He brought out a bag that literally came out of nowhere and brought out some more snacks. 

“You want some?” He asks Y/n, “I don’t mind” She replied back, getting a choco pie out of the mini bag he had. “How come you’re so nice to me even though we just met?” She asked curiously. “We’ve been classmates for a while and you seem so nice but you never talked to me, I haven’t found the chance to talk to you until today though” It’s true, the pair had been classmates since their freshman year and now they’re on their senior years and Y/n hadn’t approached him because of Seo-yun and Sooha, they always told her that he was a bad person.

“Wow, who knew we felt the same” She muttered under her breath hoping he wouldn’t hear her. “Then why didn’t you talk to me?” He asked her. She was contemplating telling him about Seo-yun and Sooha, “It’s because of Seo-yun and Sooha.” she ended up spilling it. “Huh? What do you mean?” He questioned her, bewildered since last he checked, Sooha and Seo-yun were completely fine with him.

“They think you’re a playboy and would just end up breaking my heart in the end so they never let me talk to you” She said quickly hoping he would change the topic already. “Well don’t listen to them, do what you want to do and if it is talking to me and being my friend then so be it. Just don’t give a fuck about what they think, live your own life, Y/n” He said with his signature smile on his face.

“So would you like to be friends?” She asked nervously, fidgeting with her fingers as she waited for his answer. He grabbed her hands and looked at her endearingly. “Obviously I would, who wouldn’t wanna be friends with you?”

She decided to change the topic so it wouldn’t be that awkward. “You dance right?” She asked him. “I told you on the bus, didn’t I?” He replied to her in a playful tone. “I was wondering if you could teach me kick it by nct 127, I love the choreography for that but I’m not really sure how to do it.” She asked him hesitantly since they were not that close yet. “Sure, I don’t mind. I already learned it a while back, Can I have your number? So we can meet up one of these days” He said bringing out his phone, She put in her number and then returned it to him.

She checked her phone and then realized it was already midnight. “Shoot, I don’t think I can catch a ride home” She panicked since she snuck out and simply couldn’t call her mom to pick her up. “I’ll call an uber, you live around the block yeah? I’ll just walk you home” He offered. “No, I can’t accept it. You’re being too nice.” She said back. “Nope, too late I already called it and we’re friends, right? Obviously, I have to make sure you’re safe.” Gyuvin said in a matter-of-fact tone. 

“Fine whatever, if you insist,” Y/n answered back. They both went down to wait outside for their uber. In the main room, it was nearly empty except for the passed-out Yiren and Minji on the couch, Y/n draped a blanket over the pair. Seeing Y/n be so caring towards her friends made Gyuvin moved by her kindness despite the fact they both tried to not make her friends with him.

“Y/n ! The uber’s here, let’s go” He said. Y/n followed Gyuvin out and they soon both got in the car. The drive back was silent and soon reached Gyuvin’s home. He paid the driver and he drove off. He followed his word and walked her back home. They both said their goodbyes and went off their own ways. Y/n tried to open the front door as quietly as possible and ended up succeeding in getting in without her parents noticing.

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The duo soon got close as the weeks went by, without Y/n’s best friends knowing of course. She was now getting ready to meet Gyuvin at his house to hang out. She wore a hoodie with some leggings and a sling bag to keep her valuables. She soon heard his car pull up in front of her house. She soon finished applying her face powder and decided to go. It was a monday so her parents weren’t home. She soon got in the car.

“Hey Gyuvinnie !” She greeted him while putting on her seatbelt. “Yo Y/n, How are you?” He said. “I’m doing fine what about you?” She asked him. “Same here but I’m exhausted since I’m trying to improve my dancing skills” He replied back to her question. “Oh that’s nice.” She said while looking out the window. “Speaking of which, why did you take the bus that day? Why didn’t you just drive there yourself?” She asked, curiosity laced in her voice.

“I was grounded at that time so I couldn’t use the car so I just snuck out then took the bus.” He answered. “Then that makes two of us then !” Y/n said while smiling at him. He looked back at her then smiled back. 

It didn’t take long for him to arrive at his home and they both got out and Y/n was surprised on the size of his house. She hadn’t seen the entirety of it during the night of the party because it was dark out and she realized how rich Gyuvin was. “Damn, What the hell” She mumbled under her breath in shock. “Stop staring at my house and just go inside” He said grabbing her by her wrist which seemed to be a habit for him.

“Gyuvin are your parents home?” She asked, “Nope, they’re both out on a business trip” He said. “You wanna go to my practice room? You wanna learn kick it right?” He asked her while she followed him. “Oh yeah I almost forgot, Thanks for reminding me.” She replied back and they walked in his practice room. It looked like a practice room from a dance studio, crazy to think he’s that rich. 

“Okay let’s start” He walked over to the center of the room. “Let’s do some warmups first, shall we?” He offered. They did simple stretches and some exercises. He then brought out his phone then connected it to the speakers. “Do you want to watch the dance practice first or do you wanna go straight to it?” he asked. “I’ll just do it without watching the dance practice first” 

He played the music on his phone, She did well in the first chorus then started to get lost in the 1st verse since she hasn’t watched the dance practice in a while. ‘Shoot I just embarrassed myself, Oh my god he must think I’m terrible now’ She started to slow her movements then stopped altogether. Gyuvin noticed then stopped the music and went over to her.

“Are you okay Y/n?” He noticed that she forgot some parts of the choreography at the start then got nervous afterwards. “We can watch the dance practice first if you want? Then I’ll teach you how to do it” He offered. “Yes please I’m suffering right now” 

Gyuvin went out the room then came back with his laptop and placed it on the floor. She analyzed it and taking note of some parts she did wrong and got up after it ended. Gyuvin then went to Y/n and started showing her the steps for the first verse. 

“So first you move your arms in an inward motion then you move your right leg outwards” He said while demonstrating it. “You can do it separately first then try to do it together.” She started doing it then slowly got the hang of it. “Your making some progress already ! Let’s try first chorus + 1st verse with the music” He said happily

She noticed him looking so passionate while dancing and it made her admire him. She started to fall for him even before she befriended him, her encounters with him in the hallway, or even the way he smiles at her while giving back her test paper. Y/n fell for Gyuvin so hard, but he fell first.

Y/n was able to finish the 1st verse and decided to learn the full song (i dont wanna describe anything I am not a dancer) after practicing the full choreography at least 10 times not including the learning portion they both lay on the floor, exhausted.

“Hey, you wanna eat anything? I can cook some ramyeon if you want?” He asked her sitting up and Y/n following soon after. “Yeah sure, I’m starving right now.” They both got up and walked towards his kitchen, getting a pack of noodles on the way. While waiting they both decided to chat a bit about their hobbies, She found out Gyuvin wanted to be an idol but is unsure about it since it mean giving up his privacy. He also liked singing and playing games. He offered to play some smash bros in his room after eating and she agreed excitedly. 

They both ate silently then afterwards went to his room. He had a nice setup and a tv in his room too. He then set up his switch then booted up the game. He handed her a controller and opened the game. He chose Joker as his character and I chose Bayonetta. 

Y/n was on a losing streak so she tackled Gyuvin to distract him then ended up winning. “Y/nnn That’s just cheating” He pouted then decided to change the game to mario kart. They both chose their characters then played as normal. Y/n ended up winning a lot surprisingly so Gyuvin got revenge. While she was in 1st place he started tickling her. “STOP- hah- PLEASE-” She started saying while in a fit of laughter.

They both didn’t win because they ended up forgetting about the game and ended up fighting each other. After a while they both just laid on the floor looking at the ceiling. “Gyuvinnie, have you decided on what career you wanna do besides being an idol?” She asked him while still looking up. “Not really, being an idol is really what’s on my mind right now. What about you Y/n?” He said while turning his head to look at her. 

“I don’t really have anything in mind but maybe I’ll try to think about it more.” She replied and looked back at him. “You can be a dancer you know? With proper training you can be a great dancer” He suggested. “Hmm.. I’ll think about it when the time comes.” She was considering it ever since Gyuvin started to teach her how to dance kick it.

She got up and started looking for her bag. “Gyuvin, I’ll go now so my parents won’t worry.” She said while reaching her hand for the door knob, before she could twist it open a much bigger hand went on top of her’s and she turned around to see Gyuvin behind her. “Wait can you stay for a bit more Y/n?” he asked her. “ 

“Gyuvinnie, I can’t you know? I still have to do chor-” She got cut off by Gyuvin grabbing her shoulders then pinning her to the wall. ‘huh?’ she was confused and flustered. She started blushing furiously, “Yah, Gyuvin what are you doing? T-This isn’t funny you know...” She said nervously. 

“Y/n... Ever since you introduced yourself in our freshman class, I had a crush on you. The way you were so nice to everyone to the way your eyes would shine when you answered a question in english. That night of the party made me fall for you more, I’m sorry if I made things awkward its fine if you don’t-” 

Before he could complete his sentence, Y/n grabbed his collar then pulled him down so his lips could meet hers. He was caught off guard but after a few moments he kissed back. His lips moved perfectly against hers as he grabbed her waist to deepen it. In response she moved her arms to wrap around his neck.

They both pulled away panting and stayed in each other’s hold for awhile. Gyuvin grabbed her wrist then dragged her to his bed then hugged her. They both stayed like that for awhile until Y/n pops the question. “Gyuvin, what are we exactly?” She asks while sitting up, Gyuvin sits up too while he reached his hand out to cup her cheek. “We can be anything you wanna be, Y/n” He says endearingly while Y/n pulls him into another hug.

“Then I wanna be your girlfriend” She replies quickly. “I will but only if I’ll be your boyfriend” He says with a smirk. They ended up cuddling and falling asleep together. 

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The next morning Y/n woke up and tried to sit up but Gyuvin’s arm was tightly wrapped around her waist. She realized that she was still in Gyuvin’s house and she never went home. “Oh shoot” She said louder than intended and ended waking Gyuvin up. “What is it Y/n?” He asked while rubbing his eyes. “My parents are gonna kill me.” She said while looking for her bag where she kept her phone. 

“I’ll just take you there, just say you had an impromptu sleepover with Yiren or something?” He suggested. “That’s a good idea but they still might get mad but not as much” She replied, getting out of the bed and fixing her hoodie, While doing that she noticed Gyuvin spacing out and found herself staring at his dark brown irises, even though they were in a darker hue, she liked the way it shined when he does something he loved. 

“Y/n, if you keep staring might as well compliment me already” He says with impatience laced in his voice. “Well sorry, your eyes are just pretty thats why” He blushes at the compliment but regains his composure. “Well they’re pretty because you see your own reflection in them~” He flirts back, while Y/n blushes a bit. “Y-Yah can I go home now” She asks still kind of flustered by what he said earlier.

“Fine, let’s go” Gyuvin said, reaching for her hand as they went out of his room. They continued this until she went home and when she reached her front door, before Gyuvin left Y/n hugged him then asked him to text her later. 

Her parents arrived in the night then Y/n just explained that her and Yiren had a surprise sleepover and they just took her word for it.

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It’s been a month since Y/n and Gyuvin started dating, they went on a few dates here and there but for their monthsary, he decided to ask her out to an amusement park nearby. She accepted, eager to meet up with her boyfriend once more. 

She was once again getting ready, she put on a simple crop top (if ur uncomfy just imagine any top) and baggy jeans. She wanted to wear something special but since they’re going in an amusement parks she had little options.

She decided to not put on makeup since it would most likely get ruined when she goes on the rides. Gyuvin told her beforehand that he wanted to take the bus instead of driving there and she just agreed since it really reminded her when they first met. “Y/nnn hurry upp” She heard Gyuvin saying it impatiently while knocking. “Wait-“ she says hurriedly as she got her bag and went down the stairs to answer the door.

“Hey Y/n, you ready to go?” He asks her. “Hi Gyuvinnie, yeah I am, let’s goo” She says excitedly and reaches to hold his hand. He noticed her trying to subtly reach out her hand and held her hand first. They continued on like this as they went over to the bus stop. She was currently rambling about a group that she was currently fixated on.

“Yeah like- Ciipher is an amazing group it’s just that rain sucks-“ She continued ranting about Ciipher until the bus arrived. Gyuvin wasn’t interested on the group itself, sure it intrigued him but all he could focus on was the way your eyes reflected off the sunlight giving a bright and youthful aura. The way some of your hair strands stood up, even though it may just appear messy on everyone else’s eye but to him, it’s what made her stood out from others in her school. She was the only one who didn’t attempt to hit on him or pursue him. Hell at one point Yiren tried asking him out but that didn’t work out.

After awhile she soon got tired then tried to sleep, Gyuvin noticed and put her head on his shoulder. It remained like this throughout the whole way there.

When the bus driver stopped to announce the stop, Gyuvin woke her up by shaking her lightly. She didn’t wake up, so he just slapped her lmao. 

“What the hell gyuvin” Y/n was rubbing her arm while glaring at Gyuvin. “What? You wouldn’t wake up, let’s get off now idiot.” He said then holding her hand and dragging her out of the bus.

They walked a bit before they reached the amusement park then went through the entrance fees and lines. It was quick since they went on a week day. Y/n held Gyuvin’s hand and pointed at a big rollercoaster then looked at back at him with pleading eyes. 

“Gyuvinnn can we ride that first” She begged. “Sure let’s go” He agreed and then went there with her. They soon after started lining up for the ride. It wasn’t long and they soon got to the front of the line, “Y/n, I dare you to ride in the front row” He said with a smirk, “Fine, but only if you do too” Y/n responded.

They both got on the ride and Y/n broke her composure and started looking around nervously. She fumbled with the seat belt, struggling to put it on. Gyuvin noticed it then reached his hand out to help her put it on. 

The ride went smoothly afterwards besides the loops and drops. As the ride came to a stop, the couple got off slowly while holding onto eachother for support.

"Never again." Gyuvin stated as he draped his arm over Y/n's shoulder for support. "I regret ever suggesting that" Y/n said as she tried to support herself by doing the same thing Gyuvin was doing.

After 10 minutes of walking around the couple soon found a food stall they wanted to buy from. Y/n went to go find a seat for the two of them and Gyuvin went to buy food.

She was scrolling through instagram and felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked up and saw Seo-yun and Sooha. "Oh hey Y/n I thought my eyes were deceiving me" Yiren said rubbing her eyes. "What are you doing here in the first place?"Aisha asked.

"Oh I'm just- waiting for a friend ! That's all" She lied and voice cracked at the end. "Do you want us to wait with you?" Seo-yun asked her. "NOOO- I mean no, you guys can go on about your day, pretend you never saw me" She spoke quickly, trying to end the conversation. "Whatever you say Y/n... Just text us if they don’t come okay !" Seo-yun said while dragging Sooha away.

As soon as the two left, Gyuvin arrived with a tray of food. "I'm sorry if I took long, the line was super long" He apologized profusely. "It's okay Gyuvinnie I didn't wait long, let's eat now" She said while grabbing her utensils and handed the other set to Gyuvin.

"I saw Yiren and Aisha awhile ago." Y/n said and she noticed that Gyuvin tensed up. "Are they still here? What did they say?" He asked. "They just asked me what I was doing here, I said I was waiting for a friend and they just let me be after I told them to. I'm not sure whether or not their still here though" She replied back.

"Well, are you still comfortable with me holding your hand or hugging you?" He asked her. "I am fine with it still, I know physical affection is your whole thing and I don't wanna ruin that..." She replied back while she reached her hand out to hold his hand and she smiled at him. 

“But I still want to be careful since I don’t know if they’re still here..." Y/n stated as she looked down. Gyuvin noticed her nervous state then brought his hands to her face then started to squish her cheeks. "Forget about them for today, this day is about us right?" He said to her with a smile.

She soon felt comforted seeing his smile and they both decided to go find games as soon as they finished eating. They walked around hand-in-hand in the park. The pair soon reached the area where the games are located.

Y/n saw a white stuffed bunny and ran towards that stall and waited in line. It was soon their turn to play and Y/n tried aiming the rifle at the bunny. She was unsuccessful in her 2 tries. Gyuvin offered to try for the last attempt and ended up winning her the plush.

After the employee handed it to them Y/n quickly hugged the bunny and wouldn't let go of it. "So what are you gonna name it?" He asked. "I'm gonna name him Vinie !" Y/n said after putting the bunny on top of her head. "why would you name it that though?" Gyuvin asked curiously. "Because the bunny reminds me of you."

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It soon turned night and the pair was exhausted after the long day of just going on rides, playing games and walking around. Before leaving they decided to go on the ferris wheel for last. As they enter the gondola everything went silent. Right before the gondolas reached the top, Gyuvin spoke up. “I love you, Y/n” He said while staring at her. Y/n was surprised by his sudden confession, nonetheless she replied. “I love you too Gyuvin”.

As she said that Gyuvin leaned forward then grabbed Y/n’s collar then pressed his lips against her’s. She felt butterflies in her stomach, She kissed back as their lips moved in sync. The kiss ended soon after since they realized the ride would end soon. Y/n was blushing furiously and was fidgeting with her fingers for the remainder of the ride.

When they got off Y/n was quiet the entire time. She was still in shock from the previous events, Gyuvin holding her hand brought her back from her thoughts. “Are you okay? Sorry if I made you uncomfortable” He said while rubbing his thumb over her hand. She looked back at him and spoke, “No it’s nothing I’m just- flustered? I guess...” He got what she was trying to say then hugged her for comfort.

“You wanna go?” “Can we take the train this time?” She asked him. “Yeah, I’m fine with anything as long as your here.”

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A week passed by and the start of their school year was nearing. Y//n decided to ask Gyuvin out on a date 2 weeks before school. They both met up in a cafe and ordered coffee and cinnamon rolls. They were both talking to each other and their coffee arrived soon after.“Did you hear about the new update they announced for genshin?” As Y/n brought up a conversation the bell on the cafe door chimed and she widened her eyes seeing who just walked through it.

“What the hell Y/n.” Seo-yun said while looking at Gyuvin and Y/n who intertwined their hands. “What are you doing.” Sooha spoke up and dragged the two to stand up. “We’re on a date. What else does it look like?” Gyuvin said with a snarky tone and tried hiding Y/n behind him. “Y/n after all that we told you... YOU STILL DATED THIS ASSHOLE?” Seo-yun yelled out grabbing Y/n’s wrist then dragging her out the cafe, Sooha tagging along and Gyuvin stayed in the cafe in shock. 

“SEO-YUN WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM” Y/n yelled out while Seo-yun released her wrist from her grasp.“MY PROBLEM IS THAT YOUR DATING GYUVIN”Seo-yun was furious. Anyone could tell and a few people on the street started looking in their direction “AND? I CAN DATE WHOEVER YOU WANT ITS MY LIFE” Y/n replied back. “NOT IF THAT PERSON YOUR DATING IS MY CRUSH” Seo-yun’s reply confused Y/n “What? What do you mean” She said. “I MADE UP ALL THOSE THINGS ABOUT HIM SO YOU CAN STAY AWAY BUT NO- YOU STILL DECIDED TO WHORE YOURSELF OUT TO HIM” Seo-yun yelled out while approaching Y/n. “

I DIDNT EVEN TALK TO HIM FIRST, HE APPROACHED ME SO WHAT? YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST INSULT ME LIKE THAT” “I WOULDNT HAVE INSULTED YOU IF YOU BROKE UP WITH HIM ALREADY” The air around them was starting to get heated, some of the bystanders left, realizing it was a personal matter.

“I- I thought we were friends” Y/n’s voice started to die down as her vision got clouded with tears. “WE ARE ITS JUST THAT YOU DECIDED TO GO FOR SOMEONE I HAD A CRUSH ON. NOW BREAK UP WITH HIM OR OUR FRIENDSHIP IS OVER.” Seo-yun yelled out one final time before turning her back on her and leaving along with Sooha.

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As soon as Y/n got home she burst out in tears. She went straight to her room then cried more into her pillow. She soon fell asleep for a few hours. She woke up and got her phone and texted Gyuvin.

She heard her phone ring then declined the call. She went to message her friends that she already broke up with him. Y/n started to regret her decision but she knew it was too late to take it back. Seo-yun and Sooha were her only friends and they’ve been really close since childhood and she didn’t wanna ruin her friendship because Seo-yun had a crush on her now ex-boyfriend.

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It was the start of the school year and Y/n was classmates with Seo-yun and Sooha again. Everything went smoothly in their friendship after the breakup but deep down Y/n still knew she liked Gyuvin, but she didn’t want Seo-yun to get mad at her. 

As she was talking in the classroom with Seo-yun and Sooha she noticed Gyuvin staring at her from the corner of her eye.

The bell rang and the trio went to their respective seats. Their classes ended quicker that they thought and Y/n was spacing out after the bell rang and was left sitting at her seat.

“Y/nnn Are you coming??” Sooha said, breaking Y/n out of her trance. The 3 soon went to the cafeteria and while they were eating all Y/n could think of was Gyuvin. She missed him. She regrets breaking up with him but she doesn’t wanna lose her life-long friend either.

Y/n soon felt a tap on her shoulder, She looked back and saw Gyuvin. “We need to talk. Now.” He said while grabbing her shoulder and taking her to an empty classroom. “Uhm Hi?” She said out of nervousness and confusion. “Why did you break up with me” Gyuvin asked while unintentionally pinning her against the wall by her shoulders.

“I- I just fell out of love you know” Y/n tried lying her way out of this, She feels like she can’t hold her tears anymore. “You’re lying.” He replied back firmly. “It’s true” She said while trying not to let the tears spill out but it was unsuccessful. She ended up letting it all out. “Stop lying already” “I- I’m not” She tried to stop her hiccups from being to obvious but her efforts were futile.

“If you weren’t lying then you wouldn’t be crying right now” He said while bringing her in for a hug. Oh how Y/n missed this, she felt like she could melt right now but she still had to remember. They aren’t even together anymore.

“I still love you but we just- can’t be together” Y/n said trying not to break down. “And why not? Is this because of your friends?” He asked her patting her back while trying not to cry also. “It’s not! We just aren’t meant to be together.” She said. “We both still clearly love each other, you’re just torturing me at this point, there’s nothing stopping us from being together” Gyuvin said slowly losing his calm composure. “I love you, but I just can’t be with you. You deserve better, like Seo-yun or something” She spoke, she backed up and went to reach for the door but then she looked back and saw Gyuvin’s tear stricken face.

“But if you love me then why did you leave?”

[youremyheaven]

I know that ketuvians are considered arrogant because they seem to separate themselves from the masses but as a ketuvian girl well more nodal (rahu conjunct my ascendant lord):

I became so distant because of always feeling excluded since I was a little child. My extended family would be hostile towards me because my parents did "well in life" despite coming from a very empoverished background. People would create rumors simply to hurt me and my own mother would be on their side because she thought that I had a "mean look in the eyes"💀

Since she is a libra (chitra)sun woman, she used to put others opinions on a pedestal and coerced me into molding my personality for people to like me. She would so disgusted at people for being true to themselves and couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that some people were strong enough to do that, so she say that I was dumb, ridiculous anyways I think she was jealous 😗 because she is a very insecure woman.

So growing up I was never able to sustain friendships because my personality was fake therefore I attracted people that did not truly corresponded me. I always felt so lonely in groups once I would try to be myself , it felt like they were annoyed by me. And because I know that people get tired of me easily, I'm just able to know when things get really superficial and I can't try anymore.

If I try to be myself they would get tired of me and reject me for being cold, weird, aloof. And all I did was to stop acting sassy and making people laugh 😃

It is so disheartening because sometimes it really feel like I found my people for life, they would rapidly get so attached to me, always wanting to stay around me and one day it is just over because I failed to make them laugh 🙃🤪They would ask me : " Why did you change ?" "I don't recognize you ". It really was hurtful for me because as much as I liked to play this exciting character, I am a more calm et discret person too and I feel like I can't express this side of myself. Otherwise I am a mean bitch who act superior because of my rbf. Anyways that was my rant for the day, I really wanted to express my struggle as being influence by both rahu and ketu. I feel like I have to learn to be true to me in this lifetime and accept rejection even if it hurts like a bitch when you feel like no one gaf about you. So I separate myself from people because of I always feel rejected anyways even if you can't see it on my face , and I just can't try to have superficial friendships anymore I'm sorry 🥴

On a positive note, I'm so glad I found your blog, you have so much insight and you seems very wise in very cool way , your personality is just radiant 💫

Omg bbg 🥺 I hope you weren't offended by me saying Ketuvians are arrogant. I think there can be many different reasons as to why someone would want/have to be detached from a crowd and I wasn't trying to say that absolutely all Ketuvians are full of themselves (some are but this goes for every planet 😂).

I really feel you with how you described growing up and even your struggles with superficial friendships 🫂🥺

I think one of my biggest challenges in life has been with regard to "being myself". My entire personality changes with regard to who I'm around and I never feel like anybody really sees me as I am lmao. It used to make me upset because I was like ??? I'm only this way with you because you're this sort of person and I'm adjusting myself accordingly 😭 none of this is innate to me??? There are people who only know me as quiet, reserved or soft spoken and think of me as a goody two shoes and then there are others who think I'm a wild freaky bimbo 😭 and manyyy other iterations as well and I'm like ??? whomst will decipher the full spectrum of my being??? 😩😩😩 I'm not one or another, I'm just everything 😩🤡😌

As you said, it felt like I was playing a character when I was younger and like you, I reaalllyyy struggled once I just decided to stop acting and be myself 🥲

But I'm glad that we're both done with superficial friendships 😎😜🤠 hopefully we'll both make genuinely meaningful friendships with people who see and understand us for who we are ✨

Tysm for saying that 🥺 that's such a meaningful compliment 🥺✨ I hope the rest of this week is wonderful for you 💛

[undyingembers]

Owlcatober Day 22 - Nobility

My entry for @owlcatober! Enjoy!

When Leonosa entered Nerosyan Castle, she knew she had nothing to be afraid of. She was the Commander of the final Crusade, the one to have rid the world of the Worldwound forever, and she was the governor of Drezen and a countess besides. No one in their right minds would ever say that she shouldn’t be allowed in the royal court (at least not openly). Knowing all of this, however, did not erase decades of being told that someone like her shouldn’t even be here, that the court wouldn’t accept it, that everyone would think that she was a taint, and all sorts of excuses Leonosa’s family came up with to keep her within Castle Marhaven’s walls.

Daeran had spared no expense in making sure that Leonosa wore the outfit of her dreams: the wide ballgown with shining silks, elaborate jewelry, and a trip to the most high-end salon in Nerosyan.

“It is quite overrated I can assure you,” said Daeran. Daeran very much didn’t believe in Mendevian’s nobility’s ability to give a fairy tale romantic evening, and neither did Leonosa, to be perfectly honest, but Leonosa was grateful that he was indulging her that night.

“Count Daeran Kael Nevis Arendae,” the footman announced as they entered the ballroom. “And his wife Countess Leonosa Catalina Beatricia Arendae.”

“Let’s get this farce over with,” said Daeran as he and Leonosa walked arm and arm into the ballroom.

As a country that prides itself on its militaristic asceticism, Mendev would be the last place to hold the classic swirling romantic balls. The only adornments allowed here were ones that honored Galfrey, Iomadae, and the Crusades. Daeran gagged at the sight of it, and even Leonosa was rather disgusted. Back in Drezen, at least Leonosa had been able to add a bit of culture. There were more festivals, and the people could celebrate more than a century of war and an oppressive god.

Leonosa’s family was there. Thankfully, her mother was back in Marhaven, but Leonosa still got to see some of her aunts, uncles, and cousins. The interactions were cordial, too much so. It was all smiles and congratulations. None of Leonosa’s relatives wanted to acknowledge the treatments her family had made her endure or how she had to have been locked away behind walls for much of her life.

As a matter of fact, everyone at the ball wanted to ignore these unpleasant facts. No one cared that Leonosa was a tiefling, but they also didn’t care that people like her had been accused and persecuted. They all wanted to pretend that none of it had ever happened. No reckoning, no accountability.

It was rather frustrating and disheartening, really.

At least Leonosa got to dance with Queen Galfrey again. Despite everything, the queen was an excellent dancing partner. She was every bit as graceful as she seemed, and dancing was one of the closest Leonosa had ever seen of her queen letting go and having fun. They were free to talk about interests and events without politics getting in the way. Leonosa suspected that Galfrey was just as grateful for their very rare dances as Leonosa herself was.

Of course, Daeran could help but cut in to get a dance with his wife. The count turned his face very pointedly away from Galfrey as he took Leonosa away.

“I must say that tonight has been quite a letdown,” said Daeran. “I would have hoped for a bigger reaction to your presence here, perhaps even a gasp or a whisper or two behind a fan. Just…nothing.”

“I am so sorry to disappoint,” Leonosa responded dryly.

They went a few rounds around the ballroom. No matter the setting, Leonosa would never tire of dancing with her husband.

Daeran sighed. “Well, I can definitely say that I am completely and utterly bored to tears of this venue. Shall we take our fine selves to the tavern?”

“Gods, yes!” said Leonosa.

[subism]

Tumblr, AI, and The Impossible Year

I'm very disappointed by the news that Tumblr's content is going to be used to train AI. with a default Opt-In and questionable means of opting out. As an artist, this is something I cannot abide. From January 1, 2012 to January 1, 2014 I shot and posted a Polaroid photograph a day to this site, and when the pandemic hit in 2020 I resumed in April of that year and carried through (although less strictly) until May of 2021.

This was all posted to theimpossibleyear.tumblr.com / theimpossibleyear.com. It was a personal blog, and a deeply personal project. I showed what I was doing every day for multiple years.

There are literally hundreds of people featured throughout this project. Friends, family, colleagues, some of whom I had fallings out with, and some whom have since passed away.

These folks did not consent to have their likenesses used to train facial recognition algorithms or AI image generators. According to US copyright law, I am the owner to the photographs, and I can sublicense them however I want. I'm not keen on Tumblr doing the same. And while social media sites like Tumblr always had the rights to do things like this in their privacy policies, tools like Dall-E and Midjourney didn't exist at the time, and I never conceived of such a thing. My personal views on AI aside, I don't think allowing the likenesses of these folks to be bought and sold in such a way without their consent is ethical. Hypothetically I could reach out to every single one of them (or at least those still living) and ask for their consent, but aside from the tedium and awkwardness of having to repeatedly have that conversation, including with some folks I no longer associate with, I simply don't want to.

Additionally, I don't believe most folks really understand machine learning algorithms, large language models, and AI image generators, and I think honestly, it would be extremely hard to get informed consent for such a matter, and I sincerely believe most people would say 'No' if they understood it.

I believe artists should be compensated for their work, and I believe when that work is used for profit that the subjects of such work either need to have consented to that first. And, through that lens, the entitled beliefs of the people behind corporations like Open-AI and Midjourney, that they should be able to train off this work for free absolutely disgusts me. And I am disheartened to see Tumblr go the same route.

I do believe there are positive sides to AI, I do believe it is somewhat inevitable, but I do not believe the ends justify these means.

While I believe strongly in the public domain and creative commons, and I think US copyright law is deeply broken, I also know how hard it is to make a living as an artist. I will not I cannot sit by and just allow my own work, my own memories, my friends, family, and loved ones to be used as a tool to enrich billionaires at the expense of small creators.

I used to think that when I died I wanted all of my creative works to be willed into the public domain for the good of everyone. Now I'm not so sure. As such, I will be removing my content from Tumblr in the coming weeks. As I write this I'm importing the content of theimpossibleyear.tumblr.com to a self hosted server and theimpossibleyear.com is redirecting there. Once I am sure it's been successfully migrated I'll remove all of the content from Tumblr for good.

I know relocated content can still be scraped by AI bots against my will. But I'm considering ways of disabling crawlers, making it password protected and/or parsing all of the images through Nightshade or some other tool. At the very least I’ll have made my terms clear. I'm still figuring out what to do with this blog. It will eventually go away, but I have yet to decide what will happen with the content. Either way, this sucks. I am so tired.

[ask-cinnavanillamelody]

You really think all dragons are just mean and ruthless to ponies?

Not the case at all I'm one of many living examples of that myself, my parents loved each other and both would be disheartened and frankly disgusted with what you and your peers have done with equestria.

But let's not forget about spike, your actions forced him and twilight apart how do you think that affected her? Spike is her own family! Yet you would rip that apart for some sort of pony superiority complex?

You only proved to everycreature that we ponies can be cruel and heartless as any other being.

I hope you take this time to reflect upon your actions.

As for your lack of wings, well lets just say we will see if you get to experience the awkwardness of molting.

Mira: I see simply apologizing isn't enough...I know I have a lot to make up for, and I don't really think all dragons are like that...I've just never met one in person, so all I can go off of is stuff I read...I never thought about how she sent Spike away, I just assumed he left of his own accord, honest! I never meant to split her family apart even further...I know now that ponies aren't better than anything else in this world, I know it'll take time ...but I am to prove I don't think that way anymore.

Now uh...what is a "molt"...? Should I be afraid -

[nothing0fnothing]

I have this really horrible thing that's been circling my mind all week and if I don't write it out and post it I'm going to cry to my girlfriend about it and I don't want her to know so you're welcome tumblr, for this horrible triggering story.

I rarely see people from my past these days by choice, but when I do they sometimes notice that I'm round and pudgy and make some comments about my weight and how I was a super gym rat when I was 15 and 16. I got really in shape then and started feeling really healthy and good about my body. And I just say I got busy or times change or whatever.

My girlfriend knows this too, and the story I told her is that my mum put me on the 800 calorie diet again and I couldn't maintain the energy to go to the gym anymore. And that's not entirely untrue, but the real reason I stopped going to the gym and I started not caring about my body was my step dad.

I didn't remember everything back then, and I still don't now, but around the time I started really liking how I looked and really liking myself so did my step dad. He got really invested in my health journey, which was the most invested in a hobby of mine he'd been since I was 8 years old.

He started giving me gym tips and encouraging me to go more often than I had the energy to, getting really pushy and really condescending and verbally short with me if I didn't want to go on a day he wanted me to. He started to like me again and start buying me games and consoles and stuff again like he did with my brother.

And then he started commenting about my body. About how good I'd look in a size 10, about how good the clothes would look on me, about how he thought I needed to keep some fat and not get too skinny like my mom. I started skipping more and more gym days and the comments went from being about how lazy I was to how it was a shame I was throwing all the progress I'd made on my body away.

I started feeling really uncomfy whenever he'd mention the gym or my eating habits or anything related to it because I knew under it was the type of opinion on my body I really didn't want to hear from my step dad.

And then one day, basically off the cuff alongside all the other weird comments he had started routinely making, he said to me "you know, when girls are big they look older than they are. When you're a normal size you look their age or younger."

And I didn't know why but my stomach turned. I felt so sick I was put off my food, and I am never put off my food. He thought I was doing it for him and started to congratulate me for turning food down. I swallowed it all down and felt worse for it.

I just knew in that moment for as long as I lived in a house with him I didn't want to be young or thin or hot looking. I started buying clothes in the biggest size they had, I started wearing my makeup harsh and dark, and I stopped going to the gym and started secret eating in the kitchen at night.

I watched my weight climb up again and I felt disheartened and disgusted that I let all that investment in my health go. My mum stopped paying attention to me like she did, which was heartbreaking. I dieted and lost weight with her because it was how we bonded. I wasn't her diet buddy anymore, and our relationship went stale like I knew it would. As broken up I was about my mum losing interest in me though, knowing that my stepdad had too felt like a boulder lifted off my chest, like I could breathe again.

[minhosimthings]

i don't understand what people's problem with you is... like this is your blog, a space you created and you will talk about whatever the fuck you want and they can't question you. like i am so fucking done with the unwarranted hate you're getting and if there was a way to physically fight those people i would.

like how're you gonna go, "oh this person is talking about things they've gone through, that means they're healing, let's go ruin that" like how disgusting of a person should you be to try and worsen someone's mental health.

cyberbullying and really any type of bullying is honestly the most pathetic thing to do, like imagine being so disgusted with yourself that you need to feel better by putting others down.

on one hand i feel sorry for these anon(s) because they don't even have the privilege of loving themselves, but on the other hand i think they're spineless creatures who need to get the fuck off your inbox and get a life.

i know it is hard to receive such bad messages momo, but i hope you don't let this bring you down. my strong lil baby girl, it's going to be okay <3

NO EXACTLY LIKE-

I really don't give two shits about what those blockheads said to me cause I know I can handle worse situations than that but it's still not ok that anons think they can just ruin someone's say so casually.

So many writers on this website get disheartened due to these stupid asks and it's really upsetting to see them leaving what they love doing just because someone thought it was a good day to ruin someone else's day like seriously fuck off and get a life

Ahh Mon Chou I'm about to come over and squish you into my pocket 💖💖💖🤭 ALSO BABYGIRL? BABYGIRL IS ME?!!! no it's fine I'm not crying definitely not

[tommyssupercoolblog]

vent abt ableism w DID/general plurality stuff under cut

to be honest i thought when we started going to meetups and stuff that we should be honest about our plurality upfront, because i don't like having to pretend i'm someone i'm not.

but it's been months and i've realized that a lot of people think you telling them you have a disability or disorder or are just plain weird counts as truamadumping and is "uncomfosrtable" and needs to be censored, like this is something i'm only allowed to tell my therapist and closest friends. something that happens sometimes with autism or ADHD, but not nearly as consistent as with DID.

i say, "hi, we have DID, my name is tommy :)" and people look at me like i just flashed them nudes without consent. it's really dehumanizing to be treated with disgust and discomfort for just...my life??? the way I am- the way we are??? my entire identity has to be kept a secret??? fuck no!!! you get to introduce yourself, so do fucking I.

but it doesn't work that way. for a lot of people, it doesn't work that way. and they will treat you very, very badly about it. I even had folks shower me in questions; i spent over an hour talking to this girl about how plurality works and what headspace is and everything, only to text her the next morning and find out the movie she invited me to was now not an option. She pretended to not have invited me even though she told me in plain english i could tag along and it's the only reason she gave me her fucking number.

But when she invited me to come, she apparently didn't know what DID was, and later at dinner I made a comment about another alter and at the group's confusion had to clarify, "DID, disosiative identity disorder, we have multiple identities/people in one body," and i watched everyone else IMMEDIATELY shrink away in discomfort and get quiet and nervous around me the rest of the 6 hours i was out with them. so when i contacted her after she'd found out we had DID, she didn't want me to come anymore. It was a very clear before and after. before, i was welcome. after, she made me explain it to her, and then gaslit me about the invitation.

my existence isn't gross or disturbing. my life isn't gross or disturbing. my consciousness, my sense of self, my identity, my being alive, isn't something you get to gawk and mutter and get disgusted about. get over yourself!!!!!!

...but of course they don't.

I've already experienced so much ableism for everyhting else we have. It's starting to get really disheartening, and last time i just....lied. i didn't introduce myself, and i let strangers assume my pronouns (they got them wrong btw. and no, they didn't even ask, although i'm not sure what i'd say if they did) and talk to me like i was someone else the whole night, and I cried after while i waited to be picked up. it felt horrible.

I wanted to scream. it's so, so unfair. I hate it.

[sttoru]

to the 😶 anon i just wanted to say that you are so so strong for everything that you're going through and don't listen to the speech therapist !! ik they're technically qualified but a good therapist (speech or not) would never give up on their client or at the very least refer them to someone more qualified and trained.

i'm absolutely appalled and disgusted by their unprofessional behaviour, and please don't let them make you feel disheartened or like you'll never be able to speak again. i really and truly believe you can and you will no matter what, no one is beyond helping and that's the first thing we learn as psychologists/therapists.

trauma responses are incredibly tricky, especially ones like selective mutism. but if you haven't already i'd recommend seeing a psychotherapist alongside a new and better speech therapist. i'm not exactly sure how speech therapy works where you're based, but from what i know they're not specialised in dealing with the more psychological aspects of it, like with it being a result of trauma.

if you work to unpack the underlying cause of it first it could prove to be a lot more useful than just speech therapy alone. honestly from experience cbt does wonders and i'd highly recommend finding a good and qualified psychotherapist that specialises in ptsd/trauma responses. maybe put the speech therapy on pause for now and recuperate and when you're ready and comfortable look for a psychotherapist.

working at your own pace is so incredibly important and know that it doesn't matter how long you take, the road to recovery is a process that can't be rushed and a small improvement is still improvement!! even going back a couple steps is essential to progress and healing so please don't feel like it's not possible. it absolutely is and it's well within your reach.

i know i'm just a stranger on the internet but i really and truly believe you can do this and you've got this. i am so so proud of you for everything you've endured and i really hope that you report that speech therapist to their board or something. genuinely disgusting behaviour tbh i cannot believe it.

anyways i hope you feel better really soon and don't lose hope !! wishing you all the best forever and always <33

(also wishing you the best my lovely and i hope you're doing well too !! i hope you don't mind me sending such a long ask but as someone who's training to be a clinical psychologist (hopefully god willing) it genuinely fills me with such rage when i see rude therapists. you studied for so long and chose that occupation yourself how dare you treat clients/patients that way smh. anyways sending you all my love <33)

awwwww, its rlly nice of u to send such an encouraging message to the anon <3 you have a heart of gold 😽

i hope they read this and understand that what their previous therapist has said, was bullshit. finding a good therapist or psychologist, who’s certified to treat such cases, is so important and i hope they find that person. everyone deserves a chance for proper treatment !

thank you for speaking up and i bet its 100% appreciated ^_^ inshallah you’ll become the clinical psychologist you desire to be x and i’m sure you will bcs u r a sweetheart mwah