#i am expecting … idk 3 likes lol
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i guess i have to say it a million times since people insist on being dense: gale is just as much of a victim as the other companions. this isn't the trauma olympics. everyone has been through shit and deserves healing and redemption.
gale is not the self entitled, manipulative abuser people are painting him as. he's a lot of things, but nothing so heinous. he was groomed by a goddess who has a history of preying on wizards that threaten her power, and as a result, gale's ambition and faith was what drove him to discover the netherese orb. what he did was for mystra - in his mind, it was to prove his love by restoring her missing power - and by extension for the betterment of mortals. his actions were never malicious or selfish, in fact he puts himself so low on the priority list it's pretty much non existent. he was never going to use that power to usurp her, but mystra definitely saw it like that, which is why she didn't hesitate to present suicide as his only solution. he never crossed her personal boundaries in the way people are twisting it, he only wanted to cross the boundaries she put on wizards and their power.
people who insist he's all of these things and more clearly only spoke to him once or lack the reading comprehension to see past how much of an unreliable narrator he is. i can understand first impressions might put some people off, but you can say the same about the other companion introductions. i don't like comparing but since people insist on doing it; gale is one of the easiest companions to get along with just by being a good person, yet his honesty and selflessness makes people think he's secretly evil? while the companions with the capacity to be evil don't even try to hide it? how are people being so backwards about this? it's genuinely baffling and tiring to see people continuously spit out incorrect takes all too confidently.
no one is forcing anyone to like him, but it's unfair to completely mischaracterize him because you refuse to learn critical thinking. i promise using your brain is not as scary as it seems, or you can just. not talk about things you don't understand.
#all of them have issues but that doesn't mean they're irredeemable monsters. unless you push them to but that's on you#people are shocked that astarions ascended ending is so bad. yeah what did you expect from a soul sacrificing ritual for power lol#i cannot stress this enough. i don't care if people don't like gale. i care and am annoyed about the complete lack of media literacy skills#to the point where people are ruining such interesting characters. its a shame people can't appreciate good writing when we finally get it#anyway whatever idk if this makes sense its like 4am and ive looked at this post for too long#i have so much more to say but again its like not worth telling if it falls on deaf ears#gale dekarios#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3#bg3#six speaks#and no obviously im not saying the others are worse im just saying how do people accept astarion when hes Actually manipulative but not gale#i love star but we cant pretend hes not like that . and we cant pretend that gale is
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ok posting it here bc im not sure if its going to stay in the doodle page
#delete later#deleting soon bc eyes on me#for those of you who kept asking about Something last year LOLLL#sorry this is too entry level vent comic ykwim i jst needed to get it out#im over it in the sense that like ok yeah whatever#but not in the sense that i came out worse than before. i was already Small. ive been further Smallened#i was a rebound and lied to and discarded...which thank god i was Set Free but wow!#all my personal fears reinforced. it is embarrassing for me to want and need...i get it neow. i was a stepping stone i am an npc#idk that i could do it again! im not sure its worth trying i am too much of a...project.#as i was told from day 1 but still ran directly into it#and i was too much of a coward to leave myself. if it happened again i wouldnt be able to leave then either.#im happy that i dont think it could get much worse than all that for my first experience but it was also exhausting#and weirdly at the same time i dont think i cld ever expect better#its almost been a year since its been Done and the words and treatment linger <3#this is also why i had to enlist talon as imaginary bf number 2 LOL need extra reinforcement and love#cringe as fuck but it rly will never be as good as whats in my brain...i know that neow. i will spare everyone the trouble#and remove myself from the dating pool (<- implying he was ever even in it)#i dont even hold any ill will toward em bc they were right...its just hurts ykwim
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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not to be nitpicky on day one but i do think it's kind of frustrating to not be able to have greying hair and that so many scar options are like. Designs. instead of a bigger variety of Regular Scars. Or thst there are such limited colour options for tattoos??
#i got the game WAY earlier than expected thanks to lovely friends#still wont be playing properly until i finished poe but i can't resist fucking around in cc <3#which is fun!! but i think considering how highly the cc was praised pre-release i'm allowed to nitpick#it's also a bummer that customisation is limited to parameters within the preset#instead of being able to freely adjust things like idk. eye shape (or even size??) or body proportions#which i kinda get but it does feel a bit weird#(still an upgrade from bg3 though lol) (love the game but the cc is. not great)#the head morph slider is cool tho! reminds me of metahuman#laya plays dav#dav critical#da4 critical#feel free to block that one bc i WILL be complaining#(dw i am still enjoying it! ain't no perfect game in this world though and well. the more invested in a game i am the more nitpicky i am x'
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actually stunned by how gay The Beatles has been all this time and I just never knew
#like its always just been there in my life but i just never paid attention#my university roomie was obsessed w them and had several beatles posters that i looked at every day#so stuff like the pictures of them from the let it be album are like engrained into my brain#and yet i never knew the lore??#nor did i know until recently that they were actually all high school buds nor did i know they wrote their own music#nor that they genuinely basically invented modern bands n using the studio the way they did etc. so all that was very impressive and cool#but THEN on top of that omg the angsty gayness of john and paul#like all i knew previously basically was that john was a thing w yoko ono and paul had a young wife recently#i had at one point heard of people shipping j&p together and was just kinda like wow i guess people will ship anything#I DIDNT KNOW#that they were actually like that cute and that insane together and that their song writing together was like an actual marriage#anywayz the old pictures and videos of them are just like jesus look how they look at each other i dont think it was just being bros#i am sort of in the camp of they prob didn't act on it for real but there was def some insane tension/chemistry going on#and then ofc once youre aware of this their songs take on so many possible meanings outside of just singing about their gfs and wives....#anyways i just have to vent about this somewhere bc im actually shocked at how this has just passed me by all these years#and it definitely was not on my bingo card for 2024 to fixate on the beatles but here we are lol#more proof to me that my ultimate fave trope or wtv is 'besties to enemies when really they actually probably wanted to be lovers'#gets me every time!!!!#whats been fun about this rabbit hole is how just every single one of my expectations has been reversed as well#i went in assuming i would like them best in this order:#(1) george (2) ringo (3) paul and (4) john#i was sure i would hate john i thought he sounded so pretentious and like such a douche#but no actually he is my fave one and it's literally in reverse order for me i find george my least fave#(i like his music and feel bad for how he got ignored in the band but i like him the least)#and then i literally am john paul ringo george in order of faves now#i just love when i get surprised like that idk it keeps me on my toes and keeps things exciting and fresh#and yes john is indeed pretentious and a douche but i didn't know he was also funny and vulnerable and that i like his voice and songs#the most in the bunch almost every time as well#the beatles#p
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About to hand weave this man a potion carrying pouch in his character colors. I was already thinking about it. And then was like no. It's too early. I'll just give him a bit of the yarn my pouch is woven out of that I hypothetically would use as one of the components as a favor to wear for the tournament. I will be normal. So normal.
AND THEN HE GAVE ME A HANDMADE POTION CARRYING POUCH IN HIS BLUE THIS MAN MATCHED MY FREAK AND I TEMPORARILY SCALED BACK
gonna stay at 100% freak going forward
#faer personal files#i am about to get so so sappy in the tags#i am typing this bc i started setting up my loom and then i was like wait i need sleep#i literally have dnd in the morning#augh#it is immune to boyfriend curse bc 1. he did not request it 2. it is a surprise and 3. i am weaving not knitting 4. im not a girl#oh 5 he's not even technically my boyfriend yet#i also want to flex. like even when he is at events i am not at i want people envying his custom hand woven pouch and him to be like thanks#my partner made it for me <3#man cannot hand me a mace and a cool heraldic item and expect me to not want everyone to know he is loved#he's gonna have to get used to it. not saying i love you yet you know what i mean.#idk. i like him so much. i like who he is i like how he is and i like that he actually has room for me in his head#i like being looked at without feeling sliced in two. even i can't always do that when i look in the mirror.#i like when he smiles. i like when he looks a little surprised about how delighted i am by him but i'm gonna like it even more when#the surprise settles down bc he feels secure in how much i like him#i wanna make him worse i want to give him an ego i want to make him better i want him to love himself so much#i love getting 3 am goodnight texts bc he was working on his art i love sending those i was in an art hole text now i must sleep texts#a good 6 hours earlier lol and having him be just as hyped i love talking to him i love his smile so much#i am putting in the work to get chill with reciprocation bc i am not used to it and wow. wow. this is. very nice.#my knight
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you know i'm also glad i was able to be a long-term sub for a para at the middle school for the last few weeks of the last school year bc once people's typical college semester ended, getting jobs in the sub management software fucking sucked. all these fuckin college kids popped outta nowhere and crept into every corner and everything was like you had to grab it as soon as possible, which is also just the worst bc like, summer is around the corner and that's 2 months where i don't get to earn that regular income.
and i have an odd resentment for the college kids who sub for that short gap between may and june and i dont know why. is it jealousy? is that a proper word for it? morally i know they are doing NOTHING wrong, and if anything they are doing good bc they're ACTUALLY WORKING!!!! like the sub shortages for the rest of the school year is fucking crazy. the few ppl who actually do show up to sub on a regular basis (AKA old retired teachers and me) get pulled in every which way and frequently don't even get a full half-hour break. i guess i just feel like, it must be nice for that job to be a convenient short-term thing for them. bc it's not, for me.
perhaps i feel some sort of pride in being useful and reliable at my shitty little unglamorous poorly-paid job in a public school district. perhaps i do. where were you college students in the dead of february right before the winter break week and peak flu season? huh? where were you? in your DORMITORIES? i bet. well i was here. in the hall
#spongebob hall monitor voice: IN THE HALL!#tales from diana#i don't know i guess there's also an aspect of: usually i am the youngest adult in the building#and i am not very far from their age group (but rapidly growing out of it hahahahaha 25 cries)#but i don't relate to their situation at all#i have student loans from community college i'm paying and i'm trying tentatively to finish my bachelor's#little by little#idk it's easy for me to feel like typical 4-year college students are unrelatable to me#i resent the normative expectations of higher education so much#i don't like being grouped in w them#ppl i chat w at work year-round are generally pretty familiar w me and know that that's my thing#what even is subbing to you if you do it like 3 weeks a year right before summertime?#do you even feel like that's a job?#or is it as serious to you as like. running a lemonade stand? it's just a quick gig?#nothing against quick gigs in fact i would encourage more ppl to just take up subbing to *try*#bc they could be very helpful to their local community#i got one of my friends who was curious about it to try it very briefly. he decided not to come back LOL#but he tried it! which i have to respect#so why do i hate the college students? oh idk. maybe theyre just ugly buttfaces
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for every like this post gets i will draw breagan /ronbreagan / handtler
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fic talk in the tags 💝
#aaaaaaaa i have only 4 stores left to write for the advent calendar and then i'm done?! 😭#i can't believe it guys i might actually be able to pull this off 👀#i've literally just winged it day after day with minimal planning#and i haven't even had a breakdown once? gonna knock on wood here real quick lol#i've had so much fun writing all these little stories too 🥺 and i'm fairly satisfied with them as well! yes!! me!! my biggest critic!!#i'm not gonna be writing anything for a while after i get these last ones done though lol i've written SO MUCH during these past weeks#however i did write down a short piece of dialogue in finnish the other day 👀#like. literally 11 words and idk if i'm ever gonna write more but those words just...came to me so i had to write them down somewhere#(it has been peer-reviewed as 'perfect' (thanks eetu <3) and you can totally slide in my DMs if you're curious)#and the college/uni au i've been playing with practically all autumn is something i definitely want to give a try#(so far i only have some random notes and moodboards 😅)#but whatever i'll end up writing i'll do it because i want to and that's what's important 🤍#thank you so much everyone who has been reading these stories or any of my fics this year#i really am not expecting anyone to read my stories and i'm happy if even just one person does 🥺#okay sappy talk over now back to writing byeeeeee#*stories
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I'm just here to say Thank you for all your hard work.
I think you do a great job.
and I love seeing all the hot takes and confessions people send in, and with you I would never get to see them.
So thank you.
Thank you so much!!
#tbh I've been sitting on this ask for a little bit#like a day is all lol#but idk how to respond to it#I am overwhelmed by the kindness :]#when I made a post telling everyone to thank me I didn't expect ppl to actually do it haha#so thank u to everyone sending in support for me!!#I appreciate u guys sm#ur what keeps me running this blog <3#my confessions#in the tags ig#idk#🫢#not a confession#happies
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How would you rate film school????
Oh boy! Hmmm. Admittedly, I'm never good at rating anything so I'll just give my solid thoughts and you can take from it what you will.
I think in a lot of ways I have learned a lot and I'm personally happy with choosing to go! As someone who wants an artistic-related career and is passionate about the subject outside of just being a hobby, it is a good experience. It was nice to take classes dedicated to filmmaking with other extremely talented peers. I loved the film crit classes as well and got exposed to some really great movies and essays. Film/animation school gives you accessibility to a lot of things that might otherwise be expensive to get on your own like programs (Adobe, Toonboom, etc) and top of the line film equipment, which means you have lots of opportunities to be experimental.
On the other hand, and I'm not sure if this is in part due to MY specific experience with MY university or not, but my biggest gripe had to be the sense of competitiveness and elitism in my peers. I think way too many people are concerned with "connections" and "technicality" and "making it big" or whatever. This logic from other people made it kind of lonely to me. I work more in an animation path, which has a way better vibe and group of people in general, but as someone who struggles socially, going to university was a bit alienating. I don't think this is exclusive to me being in film school though. I'm sure it would happen in any major I dedicate myself towards.
I'll finish by saying that film school is certainly not for everyone. You will be put in positions where you might even hate what you're doing as a once enjoyable hobby becomes yet another assignment. But for me...the need to create is so strong. I've really come to embrace that with the final classes I've been taking. I legitimately can't see myself doing anything else longterm...
#Idk if this ask was with the intention of more of a joke answer lol but I felt like being serious with it#it is my final year (I'm graduating in the fall but likely going to work on my thesis more even after that)#so I think I have a pretty well-rounded perspective#I wouldn't consider myself the IDEAL film student because looking back I would have been way different#I wish I gave less of a fuck about other people and just did what I wanted#and also really got to realize that I should have done animation classes way earlier than holding off on it so long#but hey I am here now and figuring my shit out <3#if you have the opportunity to do it and consider it something you are passionate about I would recommend it#I think the most important thing I learned about film careers is there are so many different players in the field#way more than you might expect#asks#squack
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Absolutely hate hate hate talking on the phone. It should be illegal.
Hate hate hate it 😭
#had an issue with a chewy order and got an email saying to call customer service in order for them to ship the order#for like security reasons??#and I was totally expecting to get a robot person not an actual person#so when dude answered the phone and asked what I needed help with I panicked#and I was so nervous and I think he could tell kfjfkfk#cause I gave him the wrong email at first#and when he asked for my name I only gave him my first name at first until he asked for my last name 😭#and the. he asked for my address and I only gave him like my house address not my area code or anything until he asked for it#and I kept apologizing and he was like ‘it’s okay’ in a very nice way which was nice but also awful#and then I hung up too early 😭#like he asked if I needed help with anything else and I said no and thanked him#and then he like kept talking and thanked me for calling and he was gonna say something else but I thanked him again and hung up#cause I thought he was done 😭#this is gonna keep me up at night for the next 3 months jfjfkfkk#personal#tag rant#I think he was gonna say have a good night or something#idk but I feel bad 😭#my anxiety is so high rn lol it’s 2 am 😃#at least I have something to talk about in therapy tomorrow now jfjfjfkfk pls 😭
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god i hate my damn school 😭
#vicki's shit#like they find EVERY fucking reason to torture me its insane#and like make fun of my parents and my family#LIKE HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW MY FAMILY??#who are you to comment on that?#“she's only here cuz she has good grades and plays instruments” yes. yes i am#HAVE YOU BEEN PLAYING THE VIOLIN FOR 7 SEVEN FUCKING YEARS? HAVE YOU PATRICK??! DIDNT' THINK SO!#like im so sick and tired of adhering to the expectations that society has of me#like i will ALWAYS be the lonely depressed girl that doesn't wear makeup much and#doesn't have the money or the desire to buy chanel or whatever fucking brand and#has puffy hair and listens to weird music and doesn't have friends#like i have friends i think i have a really close one#but idk anymore#we used to be rly close- now they're slowly turning into one of THOSE girls and is invited to the parties i'm never invited to </3#its just hurts yknow?#it hurts knowing you'll never be like them#cuz it feels nice to be wanted#and i'm not.#anyways sry lmao#no ones gonna fucking read this lol#if you're here reading this thanks <3 and i love you
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just randomly remebered a book series i read as a kid ok no actually i just read books 3 4 and 5 for some reason and there's like 6 but I was really into it for a while. anyway it was one of those geronimo stilton books but the stupid rat was not in them idk why they had his name on the cover they were actually kind of gruesome from what i remember. ngl they went hard they had cool little sketches in them too and there was this blue dragon with half a tail i loved him sm i was so upset when i couldnt find fanart bc nobody knew this book u.u I'm like 99% sure it was never translated so its just an italian thing but. any of my fellow italian girlies remember this. was I the only one to ever read it
#.txt#i could have sworn i read book 1 and/or 2 at some point but i dont have either of them so???#wait i think maybe a friend had them and i borrowed them idk#just flipped thru the ones i have btw the drawings still go hard i was expecting them to suck but no#there's this one of a baby dragon that i was obsessed with i kept trying to replicate it. i think i made the dragon into an oc#all the people i know are like omg i love geronimo stilton and tea sisters but i mention this and they're like ??? what is that#SHUT UP ABOUT THE STUPID CRINGE FLOP RAT WITH THE SMELLY BOOKS#i know those got translated into other languages. ofc THEY did -_-#wait maybe not the smelly ones#oh also speaking of semi obscure italian fantasy kids books. anyone remember la ragazza drago. i fucking loved that one#never finished it either tho i think i got up to book 3 or 4 😭#im like the grrm of readers fr#i kind of want to reread both of them ngl. even tho they're kids books lol#also im so not used to reading in italian anymore. it feels so cringe now idk#y am i making a post about italian kids literature but writing it in english lol
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also sorry i know ive been incredibly autistic about twtt lately and like. im going to continue to be this is my blog i dont care LOL. but also im a little embarrassed. anyways i know theres a few people that have been reading since the original one in 2019 (or even the people that have been reading since the rewrite started!!) or OR honestly literally anyone who got to go into it blind. i really just want to sit them down and be like hey. what did you think was going to happen going into this. did you expect literally any of this
#like if you look at twtts tags+ratings versus everything else ive written it is very vague about whats actually in there and thats very#much on purpose. i really wanted it to be one of those things where the first few chapters gives it a very lighthearted expectation#with not super high stakes? so. idk. my ONE SINGULAR SERIOUS REGRET about writing twtt is that i can never experience it as a reader going#in blind. which is why im always asking this lol i am living vicariously through people who read it#wrote it for myself but i can never experience reading it for the first time blindly bc i know the meaning behind everything and how its#going to end and also how it was GOING to end u know#so yeah :) just rambling while i draw#itd be cool if someone told me how they felt! but this post is so long and rambly i dont expect anyone to ehehe#delete later#but yesss thank u for tolerating my sperging my beautiful followers <3
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i enjoy seeing everyone’s lists of wants for the new season of rhyme anima lmao like they all highballin for the impossible anyway i hope we get an nmcd song thru rhyme anima kinda like how we got tdd working together but better—
#this is vee speaking#FLASHBACK EPISODE BABEY LMAO#the bat stans in jp are wildin too dw lmao#idk what to expect from rhyme anima➕ but i firmly believe that i will be watching stage kuukou animated rather than his canon self#but i’ve also been thinking that since track 3 happened lol so i have come to terms with it for a while now lol#i had fun despite hang ups about characterisations and lore consistency so let’s go round two lol!!!!!!!!!!#i am very interested in how the 2nd drb will be interpreted tho!!!!! what changes????? like do they honobono at all?????#do………. we touch on nb?????? mcd????? 👉👈 i hope we do lol imagine rhyme anima ichiro trying to talk about kuukou 😭😭😭#he was more adjusted in rhyme anima than his canon counterpart (so much so i questioned if he could make up with samatoki at all lol)#i’d love to know if that stays true with kuukou lol but let’s not jump to any conclusions here#we’re dealing with a BLOATED cast for 12/13 episodes lmao esp if we get chuuoku and secret aliens involved#i’m always down for well handled original stories!!!!! a branched path!!!!! hypmic’s multiverse LOL#c: rapping boys
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