#and i was too much of a coward to leave myself. if it happened again i wouldnt be able to leave then either.

[skunkes]

ok posting it here bc im not sure if its going to stay in the doodle page

[3amfanfiction]

And We Go again

Simon broke your heart when he left. Is he surprised that you moved on? Why is he showing back up? cw: none, 4k

[Thinking about a Simon Riley who breaks your heart. You’d been together for years when it became too much for him. The constant worry for your safety, the fear that someone would track you through him, it twisted his mind and the only way forward in his thoughts was to cut ties. Cauterize the wounds so the nerves were deadened, no chance of someone finding a sensitive spot.]

He cut ties completely, right from the beginning. No phone calls, no text messages, no contact. He turned into his call sign and was a ghost. Nothing physical remained, only the memories in your mind.

He had the decency to tell you in person. If nothing else he wasn't a coward who hid behind text messages. The argument lasted all night—you trying to convince him you were fine, that nothing was going to happen and him being adamant that his presence was putting you in danger.

He wouldn't listen.

Every point you made had a rebuttal, he had clearly come prepared. But you couldn't help the attempt. Showing your soft underbelly as he cracked you open while extracting himself from your lives. Leaving fissures in your panoply as you tried again and again and please listen to me.

"We were supposed to be forever," your voice broke halfway through, choked by emotion. Sitting in the kitchen, you watched Simon where he stood against the counter, even now trying to put space between the two of you.

"Sometimes—" he swallowed, gaze steady and far too emotionless for someone causing such harm, "sometimes things don't work out like we've planned and we have to adapt and re-strategize. This is one of those times."

"Adapt and re—? I don't want to adapt and re-strategize, Simon!" You turned pleading eyes on him, fighting your tears with a herculean effort, "I want you here with me." You slammed a finger down on the table in emphasis.

Your chest ached. Your heart felt like it was slowly being eaten away with every word from his mouth. Corrosive acid flowing through the veins and corroding the tissue. Slowly eating away until there was nothing left.

"I'm sorry."

he'ssorryhe'ssorryhe'ssorry.

"If you were sorry, you wouldn't be leaving." You could feel yourself losing the fight, against the tears and the breakup both. It wasn't fair. Why did he get to come in and decide you're better off apart? Didn't you get a say?

Not fair not fair not fair. You two had made plans together. You were going to buy a house, maybe get a dog years down the road. None of that was going to happen if he left.

And if he wasn't here anymore, if you didn't have him to lean on, what was going to happen to you?

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do by myself," you broke into a sob, no longer able to hold back. Thick tears ran down your face, "I don't know what to do, I need you, Simon."

Simon walked over and pulled you up out of your seat and into a hug, holding tightly, pressing your face into his chest. You fought it at first before crumpling into him, letting him be strong for the both of you.

One last time.

"You'll be all right. You're tough, you're going to get through this."

It almost made it hurt worse that he was still comforting you, even as he was ripping your heart out. If he was an asshole then at least you would've been able to hate him.

You felt the fabric under your face become sodden with tears as you struggled to bring yourself back under control. It was the work of minutes before you're able to look up at him again, eyes red and swollen but tearless once again.

Seeing his apologetic face above you filled you with annoyance which turned to anger the longer you looked at him.

[At first you were so angry at him. Why? Why did he do this? You were both fine, nothing had happened and nothing was going to, he was just being dramatic. He was hurting the both of you for no reason.]

"No! This is stupid!" you shouted, losing your temper with a frown and a shove, separating yourself from his embrace, ignoring his reaching hands as you take a step back. "You're running because you're scared. The big bad Ghost is scared of something that might happen."

"Sweetheart," he tried, palms faced upward, reaching, tone calm in an attempt at appeasement.

"Don't touch me!" you cried, cutting him off, slapping his hands to the side, "You don't get to act all high and mighty. You're choosing this. You're still stuck in the past, thinking that what happened to your family is going to happen again and it's not!" your voice cracked on the last word, doing nothing but angering you further. You grit your teeth and stuck your chin out, looking to cause hurt equal to what you were feeling, willing to try anything to ease the agony, "You're choosing to end what we have, forever, because you're being a baby. When this whole thing is because you're a little kid who's afraid of the dark, afraid of the past."

"And what if I am?" He finally broke, voice raising to match yours, "I'm allowed to be scared sometimes too! Do you know what it would do to me if you died? If you died because of me?" his face curled into a look of pain so deep it came across as disgust. Needing nothing but the echoes of you being hurt to cause shock waves of agony to ripple across his soul.

"You're not listening to me Simon, I'm not going to die," you tried again, frustrated, knowing it was a futile effort but unable to stop reaching for him, hoping that this time he would reach back.

"Everything around me dies!" he thundered before pulling himself back together, taking a breath to recenter himself. "Everything and everyone. I've watched it in real time, I won't do it again with you." He took a moment to breathe, face evening out, "We're over."

[But he wouldn’t listen, convinced that he had the right of things. He packed up his things and left--leaving you crying at the kitchen table, not looking back.]

He left you in the kitchen, heading towards the back of the house only to quickly return, bags clutched in his hands.

He planned this. He must have if he was already packed and ready to walk out the door. You never had a chance of changing his mind.

"I'm rotten, through and through," he hesitated by the door still looking at you, not wavering for a moment, even when it was painful, "and I'm doing what's best for you. You don't see it right now but you will one day." Looking at you one last time as if to memorialize you in his mind, he turned and walked out the door.

"You're a coward, Simon Riley!" You shouted, waiting until the door was shut before breaking down into gut wrenching sobs, crumpling forward to bury your face in your arms and wail.

[You move on. If he thinks you’re going to pine for him forever he’s mistaken. The best thing you can do for yourself is to try and be happy. Whatever that looks like.]

You made it to the grocery store and the corner bookstore this week. You were angry at the fact that being able to go two places was a milestone. You expected to lose a lot of things when a relationship ended but this was a bitter truth.

Everything reminded you of him and what you'd lost at first. The street corner where he snuck a kiss, the grocery aisle where you squeezed his ass and made him jump three feet in the air, the park that had the pop-up hot chocolate stand you stopped at the day you were caught in the snow.

You hated it.

If it would have been reasonable, you'd have moved. Packed up what you wanted and left the rest. But moving took money and you were down to one income now. You would be staying right where you were and would work through your triggers as they came.

And they weren't shy about making their presence known. You had broken down more times than you cared to count over the weeks since he left, some days not even able to leave the bed. It was horrid and felt like you were trapped in a nightmare.

It wasn't sustainable. You couldn't live the rest of your life having a break down every time you thought you saw Simon in a crowd, every time you caught a whiff of his scent, every time you thought you heard him saying your name. You were miserable and you didn't want to be.

So you set about to change it in any way you could.

[You put in the work. You find out who you are single, who you are when you don’t have Simon’s shadow standing behind you, and what brings a smile to your face.]

You knew what you were working towards, you just didn't know how to get there. How do you heal from a wound that ripped you in two? Your anchor, your person, was gone and you needed to be okay standing, however unsteadily, on your own feet.

It seemed easiest to start with the small things.

You signed up for a painting class. Once a month you sat in a room with a handful of other people and you all painted the same picture. Some months turned out better than others but it did what it needed to, it got you out of the house.

You even made new friends which you weren't expecting.

They encouraged you to continue branching out. Figure out what made you happy. You liked the painting classes, although you're unsure if it's the painting or the people who made it enjoyable.

You tried a book club and a needle-point class but neither were quite what you wanted so you kept searching. Indoor rock climbing, weekend dog walking, ceramics, working on a theater backdrop for the local school—if it was something you could jump into, you tried it. Each class was a page in your book, perhaps not a lot by itself but it slowly told the story of who you were.

It took a while but you started to figure out who you were, the things you enjoyed, what made life a little more.

[You weren’t expecting to fall in love again. She’s wonderful, so it happens quickly.]

You made a friend at the painting classes you still went to, every other week now. She was one of the instructors and you saw her every class.

It was surprising how easily she made you smile.

It didn't take long before she was sitting you up front, closest to her when setting up for the evenings. You began to have inside jokes, knew each others preferences, good-naturedly teased one another.

It frightened you when you realized what this feeling growing inside of you was. You were trying to get over heartbreak, not set yourself up for another round of hurt.

You tried to pull away, telling yourself it was for your own good, it was for protection. But she wouldn't let you. She reached out when you went silent, asked after you if you skipped a painting class. She made sure you knew you were wanted and that your presence was never a burden.

That you were never a burden.

When she asked you out there was only one answer.

[Sweet and kind, she has a steady head on her shoulders and she loves to make you smile. She’ll pepper kisses across your nose and cheeks, tuck her hand into your back pocket to squeeze your butt when you least expect it, and always has your favorite drink at her house.]

You took it slow, which was a struggle with how easy everything was.

Lunches turned to date nights turned to day trips turned to sleepovers.

Things weren’t perfect but they were good.

If you disagreed, you discussed it. No arguments, no hurt feelings, just conversations. And she was so demonstratively affectionate you never had to wonder about her feelings. She showed them in innumerable kisses dusting your face and any skin she could get a hold of. If you were walking she had your fingers threaded together, occasionally bringing your hands up to her mouth for a kiss or a tiny nibble.

You were standing in line at the grocery and she came up behind you, wrapping her arms around your waist and placing her chin on your shoulder to wait, whispering in your ear about these shorts make your ass look perfect, baby before giving it a squeeze. Laughing at your resultant yip and looking innocent when the cashier turned to look at you, as if butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth.

[How could you not fall in love with her? When you think the word home her face is what pops into mind. Her laugh is what you hear when you get caught out in the rain, soaked and irritable-it always calms you down, her smell when the annoyances of the day gets to be too great.]

It didn’t surprise you this time when you realized your feelings. It had been a long time coming, slowly growing with each kind word and cheerful moment shared. Now that you could see it was there, you were surprised you hadn’t recognized this wellspring of love before.

Because you did. You loved her. And you weren’t scared of it. It was hard to be scared when you knew she was right there with you.

You realized it after an exhausting day at work. Everything that could go wrong, did. You were short staffed and a delivery which was supposed to be there the night before never showed up so you had to handle it.

It was exhausting and you were tired and wanted to cry.

Your phone lit up with ‘Babe’ on your way home. It was her warm, hi baby, that had your shoulders lowering from your ears. She kept you company the whole way, listening to you about your day and the mishaps you’d had to deal with.

By the time you walked through the door she was putting the finishing touches on one of your favorite comfort meals, the couch was set up with everything you could need and the TV was queued. When she smiled at you, you really did break down with a sob, too overwhelmed at the gesture to hold back.

She let you cry on her shoulder while she rubbed your back.

[So you twine together, tighter and tighter as the months go on, milestones and anniversaries coming and going. Until one day you hear a knock on the door.]

How long had you been together? It felt like forever and not at the same time. You knew it has been long enough that you’d started setting money aside each month. Something that would go towards a ring in the future.

You were cleaning the kitchen while Babe was in the back, having given your pup Cooper a bath and now trying to get him semi-dry before he hopped up on the bed or couch.

You could hear her singing to him as she dried him, a little ditty she made up just for him—Cooper, Cooper, you’re such a trooper, look at that handsome smile, look at that shiny coat, you’ve got so much style, please sir can I get a quote?

Cooper knew his cue and gave the tiniest little boof at the end. You smiled as you pictured the scene, knowing she had given him a kiss between the ears at his participation.

You’d finished wiping the counters when you heard the knock.

[It’s a booming knock, one you haven’t heard for quite a time. You know who it’s going to be before you ever get to the door, your partner returning from the back of the house, making her way towards you.]

It was a knock from fists too large to rap gently and too used to battering down doors, besides. It had been years since you heard that sound and your breath started to pick up as your feet automatically took you to the door, helpless to stop the catastrophe before it began.

You had been doing good! Things were better now than they had been for a long time, why was he showing up at your doorstep? You didn't want him here!

It was like a Pavlovian response. The last time you saw him you had experienced pain your mind shied away from even now. You can’t help but to feel his return was going to bring that pain back too.

You reached the door and pulled it open after only allowing yourself a steadying breath, looking up, up, up at him.

Simon.

[He hadn’t changed much in the time he’d been gone. Although it’s hard to see any new scars when he was covered up like that.]

You had forgotten how big he was. How if you only looked at his mass instead of his eyes it was easy to be intimidated by his size.

But you knew this man. You had seen him cry when his nightmares became too vivid, had rubbed his back as he vomited into the toilet, listened to the most heinous cough first thing in the morning when he was trying to clear his throat. He was undoubtedly just a man, no matter how forbidding.

He looked good at least. He had a healthy weight on him and you couldn’t see any wounds. New scars were still to be determined though.

You wondered if you were allowed to see under his mask any more.

[“Simon,” a sigh, already tired knowing him showing up on your doorstep could be nothing but trouble.]

“It’s been a while,” you said, forcibly calm, staying in the doorway, keeping him outside. You couldn't be hurt if he stayed outside, right?

You wondered what brought him here, now, after all this time. You didn’t separate on good terms—he made sure of that. You weren’t the type of exes to drop by each other’s house or send Christmas cards. Hell, you didn’t even bump into each other in the store.

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” he rumbled

You wondered what he would do if you said, yes, you are interrupting, you’re no longer wanted here. Would he argue? Or would he turn around and leave?

Which did you want?

“What do you need?” you asked instead, avoiding his statement.

[Arms wrap around your waist before he can respond, who's this? and you don't hesitate to share. You have no interest in keeping secrets.]

You startled when she touched you, too focused on Simon to recognize her footsteps coming up the hallway, headed your way. Cooper was probably shut into the bedroom so he wouldn’t dart out the door. As her chin tucked onto your shoulder, she asked, “Who’s this?”

How did you explain Simon? How did you tell the woman you hoped to one day marry about the man you had expected to marry? That guide wasn’t in the latest how-to quiz on the internet surprisingly.

Still, she made it simple for you. She was incredibly easy to talk to, both when you were learning who the other person was and over the course of your relationship. You had had these conversations with her before. On nights when you had woken up crying or weekends when the drinks flowed freely. You had talked about who Simon was to you, what your relationship with him was like, the expectations, and then the eventual end.

So really, all you had to do was introduce them.

“Babe, this is Simon.”

[She offers him a warm cuppa because that's the kind of person she is. You'd like nothing more than to close the door in his face, uninterested in opening yourself back up to the hurt. Your tether to him was a scarred over nub, nothing there to support leftover feelings. He made sure of that.]

You weren’t sure how you all got to the kitchen. It was as if it was instantaneous between one blink and the next. It was utterly your partners doing, though, of that you were positive. And as you cradled the steaming cup of tea in your hands you realized again how thankful you were for her.

But you still didn’t want Simon here. In this sanctuary you’d made, free of his influence. He hadn’t pulled any punches when he ended things and you found yourself unwilling to be back in a situation where he could hurt you again.

You didn’t know what to say to him, how to start a conversation anymore. You used to be able to ask him anything, now you couldn’t even ask if everything was okay.

Seeing him sitting across from you at the table was surreal. You had come to terms with never seeing this again so it was shocking. You felt like you were concussed, your thoughts jumped from one topic to another, never staying on one thought all the way through. You didn’t know how you were going to handle tonight.

Babe must have taken pity on you because she stepped in and took up the conversation, starting with introducing herself. It let you zone out. You were aware of the cadence of tone between the two of them but the individual words felt muffled as though spoken through a thick door.

What was he doing here. You didn’t want to see him.

You didn’t.

Right?

Obviously you were happy he appeared unhurt. Even right after the breakup you hadn’t wished him ill. Did that mean you still cared for him in some capacity? You thought that it might.

You tuned back in as chairs scraped across the floor, the other occupants both standing before heading to the living room, Babe making a detour to grab bedding from the hallway closet before meeting Simon by the couch.

[Why is she offering to let him spend the night? Babe you don't need to do that . . . babe?]

What did you miss? You weren’t paying attention but surely you would’ve heard her offering him a place to stay for the night. She knows she doesn’t have to do this right?

You kept quiet while she made up the couch, still not ready to have a real conversation with Simon and it seemed he felt the same way with how he made sure to keep your partner between the two of you as often as possible.

You decided you didn’t want to be here anymore. You’d reached the end of your rope, unable to play at indifferent any longer. Spinning on a heel you strode for the bedroom, anything to put distance between you and the feelings you felt bubbling up like acid, corroding your throat and causing your nose and eyes to burn. Just like when he left. You knew him showing up was going to cause you pain.

It was eons before she made her way back to the bedroom with you. Watching as she crawled under the covers you asked, “Why is he here? Why did you let him stay?”

“Because he needed it.”

Banner by @/cafekitsune

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[myuminji]

Just a comic about two people catching up again [Angel AU]

[ID: A Trigun comic of Wolfwood after his death in Trigun Maximum.

Abbreviated ID: Wolfwood is now an angel with wings and a halo tied to his grave. He cannot be seen or heard by others, but Livio visited his grave and mostly filled him in on the finale, and Wolfwood waits for Vash to show up. When he does, Wolfwood is stunned and worried by his black hair, though he deems Vash fine when he pulls out drinks for them both.

Vash pours the drinks and talks. He confesses that he killed someone and calls himself a coward and the worst, apologizing for being selfish and not saving Wolfwood. Wolfwood angrily shouts that everything was his decision, and Vash is an idiot for blaming himself.

He says that Vash has done so much for Wolfwood and for others, and he calls Vash brave. Vash falls asleep with tears in his eyes, but he seems lighter when he wakes up. Vash leaves, promising to return, and Wolfwood says that he'll "watch him from afar... again." The title is "#1 'What happened to your hair?'". Full ID below readmore in 21 paragraphs.

The comic starts with a dark, noise-filter panel of the Punisher being used as Wolfwood's gravestone, with the quote "Nicholas D. Wolfwood has died" written over it.

Below that is Wolfwood, who has wings and a halo. He sits pensively and narrates, "At least, that's what everyone has come to believe, including me. Yet here I am, still roaming on this damn barren planet... But I wouldn't say I'm quite alive anymore. Since I couldn't feel hunger or thirst like I used to." He thinks, "'Ghost,' like those horror stories was it?"

He narrates over sketchy panels of himself frowning while floating next to his grave and yelling at Livio. "There, are other things I found that fits the term, like how I can't bring myself to far too far from my grave, or how others can't see me at all." We see Livio tearing up and saying "Nico-nii..." while Wolfwood furiously waves his arms and shouts, "I am!! Here!!!!"

Livio is shown speaking with a teary smile while Wolfwood leans against Punisher and listens. Wolfwood says, "Livio is the first and only person I've met so far. And luckily, he was quite a storyteller. I was able to get a grasp of the situation, and its aftermath. And what happened to him in the end."

Livio smiles and says, "It's been three months ever since... But even if we couldn't get ahold of him now, I'm sure he'll come back to you someday." Wolfwood narrates, "—And knowing that idiot, he probably would."

A close-up of Vash's coat in the wind as Wolfwood narrates, "So it didn't come as a surprise to me when he visited my grave. I'd even thought up of things to say when we meet again. Everything was thrown out of the window when he appears, of course. I could vividly remember the one question that burns in my head..."

Wolfwood looks shocked as Vash, hair fully black, waves cheerfully, "Yo! It's been a while, hasn't it? Wolfwood." Below the two floats the question: "#1 'What happened to your hair?'"

Wolfwood sweats, "Spikey, your hair. Doesn't it mean... Are you okay???" Vash smiles sheepishly, "Ah, I hope you're not mad I didn't come sooner, don't haunt me please..." Wolfwood shouts, "That's not the problem right now!!" Vash pulls something out and exclaims, "But look what I got for you!! Alcohol!!!" Wolfwood shouts, "What sort of person do you see me as!?"

Vash excitedly pulls out a bottle and two shot glasses. "It's not the only reason why I'm late, but it did took me a month to hunt this down... I recall you said you wanted to try them, right?" Wolfwood buries his face in his hands and says, "Where the hell are your priorities... You know what, yeah. I'm not gonna ask anymore since you look fine."

Vash smiles a bit tiredly and says, "Hmm,, I'm glad this place hasn't turn to ruins yet~ I've still got lots I need to tell you that's happened out there! And I thought it's better to talk about it with drinks on the side…" He clinks two glasses together. "So, cheers! ..."

He and Wolfwood are both awkwardly silent, and Vash sweats and frowns nervously. Then he pours a glass onto the ground, and Wolfwood furiously shouts, "D'ya really expect me to drink off the ground!? Stupid needle noggin!!!!!"

Vash laughs sheepishly, and he speaks via empty speech bubbles while Wolfwood listens, drinking with a small smile. Vash says, "... And when that happened I..." He drops his gaze and says between long pauses, "I..... When that happened......" Wolfwood watches him seriously as he says, "... Say. Wolfwood, is this how you've felt all the time?"

Vash looks down sadly. "You I see, I... killed someone in the end." He laughs, eyebrows drawn in. "I guess you're right. I am bound to choose someday." He takes another sip, then downs it and falls backwards. "Isn't it funny? That I've called you a coward once for killing... But guess who's the coward now~? It's always been me, isn't it?"

Vash lies on his back and laughs. "... Haha. I wonder if you're laughing too. I really am the worst, aren't I?" Wolfwood looks down as Vash continues, "You've done so much for me, but all I've caused you are troubles. I was selfish, always chasing after my own goals... That you couldn't ask for my help. That I couldn't save you. Just what kind of friend am I?"

Vash scrubs his eyes with an arm and says shakily, "Sorry... Wolfwood... I'm so sorry..." A close-up panel of his mouth shows Wolfwood saying, "... Just so you know--" Expression unimpressed, he exclaims, "There's no way in hell I'm accepting that lousy apology! You drunkard!"

He stands up and seems to kick Vash, who's still on the ground and mostly out of sight. Wolfwood demands, "Why are you even sorry for something like that, huh?? I chose my own path. It was all my decision! How many times do I say it to get it stick in that thick head of yours? Stop. Blaming. Yourself. For the things. You've not done. Idiot! Stupid spikey hair!!"

Vash's face is cut off, but a tear in his eye can be seen as he weakly says, "... oof.. wood..." Wolfwood looks tired and sighs, "... Ha... Don't feel bad about me. Until when will you realise just how much you've done for us? You've done more than enough for me, Needle Noggin."

The perspective zooms out to focus on the sky and two moons, including the fifth moon. Wolfwood's wings and the Punisher can just be seen at the bottom. Wolfwood says, "And you're brave, to go against what you've been taught your whole life. You're not a coward. You faced them until the end. So don't sell yourself short like that next time, okay?" We see Vash's face, smiling with tears in his closed eyes. Wolfwood concludes: "I'll get mad."

Wolfwood narrates, "—He passed out right after for the whole night on the cold ground. I realised how little I could help in the situation." He tries to drape his coat over Vash, sweating, and wonders, "Wouldn't it just pass through ...?"

Time passes, and Vash gets up with a sneeze and rubs his eyes. Wolfwood watches him with his eyebrows raised, and Vash laughs quietly and a bit nervously. Wolfwood narrates, "As if he'd heard my voice, a burden seems to be lifted off his shoulder when he woke up. That, or maybe he'd forgotten what happened last night. He was quick to take his leave right after.

"And so, Vash the Stampede went on a journey with a promise." Vash waves goodbye, turning to leave with his bag in hand. "I'll be sure to bring back more stuff next time!! See you later!" Wolfwood concludes, "While I watch him from afar... again." Wolfwood sits below the Punisher and waves back, saying with bemusement, "Has he never heard the phrase 'do not disturb the death?' He really throws me off..." The title is named, and it says "/ END." End ID]

[link to Image ID reblog post!]

[justaz]

merlin convincing morgana to remain in camelot and bonding over magic. uther dies and arthur becomes king and merlin and morgana are eager for arthur to repeal the ban but it never happens. then arthur and gwen are courting and morgana and merlin are a bit upset but are happy for them (sorta) but mainly they’re waiting for the ban to be repealed. it never happens. then gwen and arthur get married and morgana and gwen (+ lancelot) are devastated but hanging on by a thread for the magic ban to be repealed. it never happens. morgana is growing angrier and angrier while merlin is growing more and more reckless. morgana picks fights with arthur while merlin sticks to the shadows and protects arthur from unseen threats like always but he stops putting up much of a fight. he keeps coming back beaten black and blue, bloodied, on the brink of death.

morgana finally snaps at merlin and is like “i’ve been waiting for the ban to be lifted like you promised it would be and nothings changed. i cannot stay in this kingdom and watch the love of my life be happy with my brother while hiding myself away! you can be fine with the lying and hiding but i’m done! i’ll make my own damn happy ending” and storms off to flee camelot. lancelot finds merlin and they talk about it and lancelot is like “honestly, she has a point. i’m in love with gwen and that’ll never change. it pains me to see them so happy even though i wish nothing but the best for them. the only reason i’m still in camelot is you, merlin. if you want to stay, i’ll stay with you. if you want to go, then we’ll go.” merlin unsure and lance goes “it was you and me in the beginning, it can be you and me again” and merlin tears up but is still unsure and lance compromises with “we don’t have to leave forever. just a month or two, a year or five. however long you need.”

merlin finally agrees and lancelot goes to pack while merlin finds gwaine and tells him his plan bc if he doesn’t tell gwaine then the man will hunt him down like a bloodhound. gwaine ofc immediately agrees to go with him and they all pack their things. merlin shuffles into arthur’s chambers and turns in his resignation from his service and arthur starts freaking out like “wait what?? what’s wrong?? what happened??? let me fix it. was it a nobleman? a knight? was it me?? please tell me it wasn’t me. what happened??” and merlin can’t handle it so he just restates that he’s resigning, bows and says it was somewhat of an honor, and then turns and leaves. he finds lance and gwaine in gaius’s chambers with mordred. merlin rolls his eyes but is also kinda grateful for his friends. arthur storms in and finds three of his knights also packed at they’re like “oh shoot we were gonna tell you in the morning but since you’re here, we’re resigning too”

now arthur is faced with three less knights and one less manservant than an hour ago (he has yet to find out about his sister’s fleeing). he questions them again and the room gives merlin and arthur some privacy for merlin to tell arthur that nothing is wrong but that they just need some time away. it probably won’t be permanent but they have to leave. arthur isn’t begging because kings don’t beg but he’s doing a damn good impression and merlin is on the verge of tears again and is begging arthur not to make things harder than it needs to be. arthur grows angrier now and is like “then tell me why. why are you leaving? why are my knights leaving? tell me.” and merlin can’t think of an excuse bc he doesn’t want to push his troubles of unreciprocated love onto arthur so he just stands there and arthur is like “i thought you were one of the bravest men i ever met. turns our you’re nothing more than a coward.” anyways they split on bad terms.

merlin, lancelot, gwaine, and mordred leave camelot and have their own little adventures and run into morgana again and they form their own little band of travelers. arthur, gwen, leon, elyan, and percival are still in camelot with gwen and arthur completely in the dark while the rest of the knights Know. it’s like a few months after merlin and them left and arthur and them are drunk and he brings merlin and them up and asks what happened. the knights are quiet and gwen sits up and asks elyan and her voice is desperate enough that elyan breaks and goes “morgana and lancelot were in love with you” and they all just stare at each other and elyan rushes to fill the silence with stuff like how they wanted gwen to be happy but couldn’t bear watching gwen and arthur be so in love all the time, he explains that morgana left on her own but lancelot followed merlin. arthur asks if merlin was in love with gwen too and the knights shift before percival goes “no, he was in love with you” and leon sighs before explaining the rest.

“morgana and lancelot were in love with gwen while merlin was in love with arthur. morgana left on her own and merlin was influenced by her choice to leave and lancelot and gwaine followed him. mordred followed both morgana and merlin, i’m not sure what he would’ve done had merlin stayed and morgana left. gwaine followed merlin bc he’s in love with him.” he rubs his eye bc he can’t believe the mess things are even though it’s been this way for years “morgana couldn’t stand it. lancelot was loyal to merlin. gwaine was loyal to merlin. mordred was loyal to merlin and morgana. and merlin…merlin has been protecting you for years, arthur. he’s charged into battle against the threats you can’t see, the ones in the shadows. i’ve kept an eye on him since he got here but he’s had it handled. but recently, after your wedding, he grew reckless. he came back from every fight beaten like a pulp. he stopped trying. not to let you die, but to let them get the upper hand over him. he was dancing with death. it wasn’t healthy for any of them. that’s why they left.”

the knights leave arthur and gwen in their chambers to stew in silence, drunk and guilty and missing their friends and wondering how they could’ve missed the signs. merlin and them on the other hand are traveling from town to town, village to village, kingdom to kingdom and protecting villages from raiders, protecting druids from raids, stepping in on executions and freeing sorcerers.

[ninii-winchester]

Unveiled Sorrows (Part 7)

Pairing : Dean Winchester X Reader, Sam Winchester X Reader (Platonic), Dean Winchester X Lisa Braden (mentioned)

Word count : 2.9k

Warnings: angst, mentions of sex (soft smut), language, fluff, Taylor Swift reference (?)

A/n : This series follows canon plot line but some scenes might happen differently or be completely changed. Check the warnings for each part before continuing.

A/n 2: gif (1) from Pinterest. Credits to owner.

I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO COPY MY WORK, TRANSLATE IT OR POST IT TO ANY OTHER PLATFORM. REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED.

After the confrontation, Y/n went to her room and locked the door behind her. She let out soft sobs clearly distraught over what happened in the last hour. She sat on the ground with her back against the bed. She held onto Adeline as if she was going to disappear if she didn’t hold her tightly.

Dean paced in the hallway and he could her cries through the door. He has to make this right. He cannot live without her, not anymore. He's willing to do whatever it takes to make her trust him again. He knocked on the door twice waiting for her to open the door. Y/n looked away from the door pretending she didn't hear the knocks and hoped whoever it was might take a hint and leave.

"Sweetheart, open the door." She heard Dean's voice. "Baby please." He said softly. She didn't move at all. “Please." Dean begged.

Y/n sighed. There was no point in stalling. She can't trap herself in this room forever and the sooner she gets over with it, the better. She got up and unlocked the door but didn't open it. She sat on the bed with Adeline happily bouncing in her lap, unaware of all the chaos happening around her.

Dean heard the lock turn but the door didn't open, so he did it himself. He walked inside the room and sat beside her on the bed. Neither of them spoke. Adeline peeked at Dean's face with curious eyes. He smiled at the baby and she giggled in response. Dean could swear he has never fallen in love this fast. He has his whole world sitting beside him yet it seems so unreachable.

"Her name is Adeline Mary Winchester." Y/n spoke quietly. "She's four months old."

"She's perfect." He whispered.

Sitting beside him was too much. It was overwhelming her. Y/n put Adeline in her crib so she could play with her toys. Dean's eyes followed her as she stood and walked across the room. He walked the distance between them and stood behind her. He was too close, she could feel his chest pressing against her back.

"What do you want, Dean?" Her voice was low and strained.

"I want you. I want to be with our daughter." Dean whispered.

"I can't." She replied. He turned her so she was facing him. "Dean you shouldn't-" he didn't let her complete.

"Why should I not?" He asked.

"You shouldn't feel obligated to...you should have a family with the woman you love." She said moving away from him.

"You are the woman I love, that baby," he pointed to the crib, "we made that, she's the proof of our love."

"It wasn't love, Dean. It was just sex. Between hunting it was just a need." Y/n raised her voice a bit. She gasped as Dean grabbed her waist and pushed her against the nearest wall.

"You and I both know it wasn't just sex. What about the nights we shared other than on hunts, or the mornings after. Do you really think it was just sex when I could barely breathe without you." She averted her eyes from his.'

She knew it wasn't just sex. Maybe during hunts it was rough, to chase a release and let loose but she could vividly remember when he would go slow, his actions filled with passion, how he would hold her close when she would fall apart, tell her she means the world him. How he would wake her up with soft kisses and gentle touches. It was not just sex. 

"I know I was a coward. I thought I was protecting you, I guess I was just protecting myself from the inevitable heartbreak. I'm nothing without you, baby. Just a shell of a man. The past year, I've been holding onto the last thread of sanity. Living with Lisa and Ben, it was just familiarity. I would've gone mad had I been alone. I missed you like crazy, sweetheart. I love you so damn much." He said pressing his face in her neck, breathing her in.

"Dean." She sniffed. She pulled his head away from her neck. "As much as I want to, I can't keep you away from Adeline. You're her father. She deserves to have her father in her life. I can let you be a part of her life." He nodded and she continued. "You can't half ass it, either you're in or you stay gone. I don't want her to live off crumbs of her father.."

"Lisa and Ben, they..-" Dean started. "They're in danger." He can't just up and leave them alone to fend for themselves. The Djinn knows where they live and they can't even protect themselves.

"You have to make a decision, Dean."  Dean stepped back giving her, her space. Her heart broke. He's never going to choose her, is he? He always has something to choose over her. His conscience, his brother, the god damn world. It's anything but her. The look on her face was enough for Dean to know what she was thinking.

"Is there anything I can do to make it better?"

"Choose something, I've got nothing to believe unless you're choosing me."

"Why can't I..-" Dean rubbed his hands over his face. "Why can't I protect them and be with you.?"

"People riding in two boats usually end up drowning. And I won't let my daughter be collateral damage."

Dean looked at his daughter and something familiar in her crib caught his eye. It was his flannel that she was laying on.

"Is that..." he cleared his throat. "Is that my shirt?"

"Yeah, I wrapped her in it sometimes, just so she could somewhat feel the warmth of her father. Pathetic I know." Y/n chucked humourlessly.

"Can I hold her, please?." Dean asked though he wasn't sure if she'll let him. But he was willing to beg on his knees just so he could hold his daughter once.

"Go ahead." Her words caught him off guard. He didn't think she would, but then he wondered how tired she must've gotten of all the arguments, the tears and didn't have the energy to fight anymore.

Dean carefully picked up the baby girl supporting her head with his hand while he cradled her against his chest.

"Hey baby." He looked Adeline and he was mesmerised, in complete, utter awe. "You're so beautiful." He said gently rocking her. He would hold her as long as he could. Cherish the moment and brand it in his memory.

Y/n watched as Dean held Adeline. Why can't it always be like this. Why did he have to prioritise everything above their happiness. She's going to have to watch Adeline grow up without a father because he's too busy saving and protecting people. And this is why we can't have good things.

"I love you so much, my darling. You're my light. You're my angel. I wish I could've had more time you." Dean spoke to his baby who did not understand a single word. No thought behind those beautiful green eyes as she continued patting her father's tear stricken face.

Dean held his daughter for hours but for him it felt like a few minutes. Adeline started getting fussy since she was hungry and wanted her mother. Before Y/n could go over to him, he walked over to her. She scooped Adeline in her arms and brought her to her chest so she could breastfeed her. Dean looked away giving her privacy.

"I know I'm in no place to ask for favours but can I ask you for something?" Dean said still looking away from her.

"What is it?"

"Can we... pretend that everything is normal, just for today. Just you, me and our daughter?"

"I'd like that." She rasped. She knew she wants him. Just because she can't have him forever doesn't mean she can't pretend for one night. Dean was surprised but he didn't show it. A small smile graced his lips. A few moments pass in silence and Adeline was full.

"Do you want to... uh burp her?" Y/n asked uncomfortably. She wasn't sure why she did but that's what normal families do right? How would she even know. She's never known a 'normal' family.

"I'd love to but I don't know how." Dean rubbed his neck nervously. She grinned at his bashfulness.

"Here I'll teach you." She said standing up and making him stand too. She gave Adeline to him and put a towel on his shoulder. "Now you hold her up straight and pat her gently on the back." She showed him how to do it and he hesitantly tried. Addy let out a little burp and y/n cooed at her daughter. "See." She smiled at Dean who looked proud of himself.

"That wasn't so bad. I couldn't have messed that up." Dean grinned.

"Yeah yeah." She sat back on the bed.

Dean laid Adeline on the bed in the middle and laid on his stomach to watch his little angel. He pressed kisses to her cheeks and forehead. He kissed her little feet and feigned biting that made the baby giggle. Y/n had a huge smile on her face as she watched him play with her. Dean blew raspberries on her stomach. Adeline flailed her tiny arms and legs as he did that.

"You continue doing that and she'll throw up on your face." Y/n chuckled warning him.

"She would not." Dean gasped. "You wouldn't do that to daddy would you, my angel?" Dean asked Addy.

"She might." Y/n smiled and sighed sitting back against the headboard. No matter how much they pretend it would all come to an end soon. "Also, sorry to cut you fun short but it's time for her to sleep."

"Already?" Dean whined like a child.

"Its nine pm, Dean. You've been playing with her for hours." She reminded him softly. Dean truly lost track of time while being with his daughter. "You can put her to bed."

She watched as Dean rocked her back and forth, lulling her to sleep. Her heart constricted in her chest. Why did they have to sacrifice everything. It wasn't their fault they were hunters. This life was thursted upon them, they had no say in it. Why couldn't they live a normal life where everyone was safe and happy. Dean started humming a song and she recognised it as 'Hey Jude by The Beatles', he’d told her, it was the song his mom sang to him. Y/n watched Adeline's eyes droop as she laid her head on her father's shoulder. Mintues later she was fast asleep. Dean laid her in her crib and leaned over to whisper.

"Good night baby. The angels are watching over you." That made y/n suck in a deep breath at that. His mother used to tell him that every night.

In another world, Dean Winchester would've been an amazing father to Adeline Winchester.

Y/n got settled into bed and got under the covers. Dean noticed and couldn't help but ask.

"You're sleeping? You haven't even eaten."

"I'm exhausted. I just need sleep." Dean knew his luck was in overtime, he shouldn't be asking for more. He couldn't stop his tongue before he blurt out.

"Can I stay?" His question shocked them both. But what's done is done. He said what he said. He waited in anticipation for her answer. He knew he pushed his luck. To make it less awkward for both of them it was better if he left. He turned to leave but her voice stopped him.

"Stay, Dean." Those two were enough for him to kick off his shoes and get into bed with her. They had a decent distance between them. Y/n stared at ceiling while he stared at her. "She's a good woman. She'll keep you happy." She whispered in the silence.

"I don't want to talk about that." He replied grabbing her waist and pulling her into him. His other arm going under her head so her head was laying on his shoulder. She didn't protest. She let him pull her closer. God knows she wanted to be in his arms just as much.

"Why did it have to be us?" She wondered out loud.

"I don't know baby. But I know it all sucks." Dean replied hiding his face in her neck.

"You got old." She chuckled lightly.

"Huh?" Dean asked looking at her.

"You got your ass handed to you at poker by some witch and you turned old." She laughed, a real laugh.

"I'm going to kill Sam." Dean groaned but smiling nonetheless.

"You've got a bit of stubble." She cupped his face and caressed his cheek with her thumb.

"Yeah well I was on the verge of being killed by a Djinn so I'm sorry if I didn't have time to shave." He sassed.

"It's alright. I like it." Dean continued to gaze at her lovingly, his hands caressing her bare skin. "Dean." He hummed in response. "I love you."

"I love you. So much." He whispered, he thought if he spoke too loudly the spell would break and he won't be where he was.

"Love me goodbye." Y/n said her voice barely audible.

"Don't say that." Dean begged.

"Please." He doesn't know whether it was the way she looked at him or the way she said it but something in him snapped and he pressed his lips to hers. It wasn't like any kiss they've shared. They've had their fair share of passionate kisses but this was slow and sensual. Dean hovered above her leaning on his arms placed on either side of her head. She grabbed the back of his head pulling him even closer if that was possible.

"Dean." She gasped as the broke apart.

"It's okay baby, I've got you." He said placing open mouthed kisses on her neck. "I'm here." He assured her between kisses.

It was only a matter of seconds, their clothes were strewn across the room. Her heavy pants and breaths filled the room as Dean kissed all over her body. Starting from her collarbone, her chest, moving down to her stomach.

"Dean."

"What do you want, sweetheart?" Dean asked grabbing her hips.

"You, Dean. I want you."

"You have me sweetheart, I'm right here." He kissed and nipped at her jaw. "As long as you want me. I'm here." His deep voice sending jolts throughout her body.

"I need to feel you." She whimpered.

"Is that what you want, baby?" He slid his hand down over her body. She nodded eagerly. He didn't waste a second to give her what she wanted. She gasped at the sudden intrusion. One of his hands intertwined with hers and his other arm was propped on his elbow as he moved the hair from her face. "There's that pretty face. There's my angel." He cooed snapping his hips against hers.

"Oh Dean." She dragged her nails down his back.

"I know baby, i know." Dean captured her lips in a searing kiss. "Close?" He asked against her lips never wavering or pulling away. She nodded, lost in his loving. "Go ahead, give it to me." And the coil snapped. She let go with a loud moan of his name, Him following behind. He shivered resting his on her forehead. "You okay?"

"Yeah." She whispered and whimpered at the lost of contact as he rolled off her. He cleaned himself and helped clean up her. He put on his boxers before he got into bed with her. They both knew everything ends here now, for now they could only hold onto each other. She rested her head on his bare chest and drifted off to sleep. Dean didn't sleep, he didn't want this night to end. He stayed awake and cherished this moment for as long as he could.

A loud cry distracted him from his thoughts. Y/n groaned pushing the covers from her body.

"I've got her, you go back to sleep." He gently pushed her back to lay down.

"Dean-"

"Sleep sweetheart, I've got her." He kissed her forehead before getting out of bed. He walked over to the crib and picked up Addy. "Alright alright, daddy's here. Shh now." He said bouncing her lightly. Her cries died down slowly as he sang a lullaby to her. He looked at his baby sleeping on his chest and the woman sleeping in the bed. He could get used to it. After Addy fell asleep again, Dean went back to join Y/n in bed as wrapped his body over hers like a second skin. "I love you."

The next morning Y/n woke up at six am. Her eyes fluttered open, she looked around and realised, her bed was the same as her heart. Empty.

Tags:

@spnfamily-j2 @galway-girlatwork @deangirl96 @queensilber

@s0urw00lf @monkey-d-hoshizora98 @deans-baby-momma @fullbelieverheart

@riah1606 @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @hobby27

[wannabanauthor]

I have a BuckTommy idea/prompt:

Tin foil hat time

What if Chimney was trying to get Buck to date again so he could tell Tommy and get Tommy to realize what he’s lost?

So Chimney sets Buck on a blind date with a super hot gay guy, but it’s all apart of his plan. He knows Tommy well enough to know what restaurants he frequents and what nights.

But before Buck arrives, the guy finds Tommy sitting at the bar in the restaurant and starts flirting with him. Maybe the guy even mentions that he has a hot date in a few minutes with this bisexual guy.

Once Buck shows up, the date gets up and greets him, and makes sure Buck doesn’t notice Tommy.

Tommy, however, sees the whole thing, and panics because he didn’t expect Buck to start dating again so soon, and Buck’s date is an asshole for flirting with Tommy before Buck showed up.

So Tommy is stuck between letting the date happen and probably progressing, or he can be honest with Buck that his date was flirting with him until Buck arrived.

Tommy calls Chimney in a panic, and Chimney tells him “you should definitely let Buck know that his date is a flirt”.

Tommy is torn on what to do, but Chimney gives him that final push. Instead of confronting them, Tommy texts Buck “your date was flirting with me before you showed up”.

Buck gets the text is excited to see it’s from Tommy, but then he reads it and goes bright red.

Meanwhile his date asks “is something wrong?”

Buck says “Yeah, you were flirting with my ex-boyfriend before I showed up.” He looks around for Tommy and sees him leaving out the front door.

Buck ends the date and follows Tommy outside to confront him.

He’s nervous but is happy to see Tommy again, but he’s also a brat and gets snarky with Tommy and calls him a coward for leaving him twice.

They start arguing about their breakup, and Buck says “I’m in love with you, asshole, that’s why I asked you to move in. I wanted a future with you. It you didn’t want one with me.”

Tommy is stunned and starts to cry, but Buck is not having it.

He starts asking “Why am I not good enough to fight for? Why did you leave me? You wanted to protect your heart, but you destroyed mine.”

Tommy says, “I’ve been through this enough times to know when it’s time to go. You’re still new to things. It wouldn’t have worked out between us.”

Buck says, “I’m not those other guys! I’m me, and you keep dismissing my feelings as if I haven’t been in a relationship before. Just because you’re my first boyfriend doesn’t mean my past relationships don’t count toward dating experience. Do you not love me, is that what it is? I’d rather you tell me the truth so I can move on.”

Tommy whispers, “I’m in love with you too, and I’m scared you’re going to leave me. I’m sorry, I should have been honest with you from the start or even before we made it to six months. I just wanted to enjoy myself for once and not think about the future , but I fell in love with you so hard and unexpectedly that I didn’t know what to do.”

“Do I need to propose or something to convince you that I’m serious? Hell, should we drive to Vegas to get married to prove to you that I’m in this for the rest of my life? What do I need to do to prove to you that you’re my last?” Buck asks, crying now too.

That of course spooks Tommy again, but Buck isn’t allowing him to leave this time.

“Tell me, please,” Bucks says between sobs.

Tommy kisses him. He lets his hand wander through Buck’s curls, and pulls away when he needs oxygen.

“I love you so much, it hurts,” Tommy says.

“Then stay. Talk to me. Let’s try counseling or something. There has to be a better way than just ending things,” Buck suggests and Tommy nods.

Buck has a huge grin even with the tears. He kisses Tommy, and they just hold onto each other while crying.

Chimney gets a text the next day from Tommy, “you’re a dick, but it worked”.

End scene. What do you think?

[thevoidstaredback]

Tales of Conquest, Warnings of Fools:

Letters Between Brothers

Danyal Fenton, Jan. 8th, 2014

I sincerely apologize for the lack of contact. Much has happened; too much to put into a single letter, though I’m sure you saw some of it on the news. It has been two years since your last letter. I wanted to respond earlier, but I was too much of a coward. I spent hours staring at your letters, but I couldn’t bring myself to open them, let alone respond. That is no excuse, however, and I apologize.

As I’ve already mentioned I’m sure you know, Father went missing shortly after my last letter to you. The public was told that he was kidnapped and that we would pay ransom. He returned about a year ago, as I’m also certain you heard, and we assured the public that the Private Investigators we hired had found and retrieved him and that the captors had been imprisoned. That is our cover story. I would like to tell you the truth of the matter in person, but it cannot wait for that day to come.

Father was lost in time. He has still not told us how or what happened when he was gone, other than that he lost his memory. Everytime he regained it, he would leave a clue for us before he forgot again and was taken to another time. He said he had help, but he didn’t say from whom.

Timothy was the one to follow the clues and rescue him, though I’m not sure how. Everyone thought Father was dead, but we refrained from announcing it until Timothy returned from his search.

No one knows that Batman was missing. Richard took up the cowl and I was given the title of Robin. (The colors are garish, but the others wore them, so I must as well.) Richard was quite good at stepping into Father’s place, well enough to fool Superman and the rest of the Justice League, but it was hard on him. The stress was too much for him at the time, though he is now back as Nightwing in Bludhaven.

As morbid as the thought may be, the entire year was good for distancing our civilian and vigilante lives. No one thinks Father is Batman because Batman was active while Father was missing. Nightwing was undercover while Richard was in Gotham, returning before Richard left to go back to his city. Timothy was sighted in Pakistan with no appearance from Red Robin until after Timothy had “left”.

On the topic of Timothy, he is on Grandfather’s radar. He confided that, in the process of looking for Father, he enlisted the help of the Council of Spiders. Grandfather trained him, offering up the position of Demons Heir to him. In his escape, Timothy blew up eight bases around the world, though I don’t know how he managed.

On the topic; I have renounced my position of Demons Heir. Father and our siblings have taught me many things since I first arrived, things which made me rethink what we grew up knowing. I’m sure you went through the same thing. Mother has tried fruitlessly to take me back with her, but I have gone back to Father every time. I wanted to go back to you, but I am not willing to put you at risk like that. However, the Shadows have separated into factions, one side with Grandfather and the other with Mother. Nanda Parbat now stands as Grandfather’s primary base of operations.

The WAR - We Are Robin - Movement that swept over Gotham in Father’s absence was headed by our new foster brother Duke Thomas. He now goes by the name Signal. I was the one to recruit him and give him the bat he now wears.

Having gone back to re-read your letters, and read for the first time your last three letters, I have noticed that you refer to Father’s chosen as my siblings alone. Do you not want them to be your siblings as well? I do not blame or criticize; I am simply curious and would like some clarity. والآن حان دوري لأطلب عفوك. لن أدع الاتصالات البعيدة المدى تفلت من يدي مرة أخرى.

          Damian Wayne

***

After two years of radio silence, Danny finally got a letter from his brother. He was glad, don’t get him wrong! But he found himself not nearly as excited as he would’ve been last year. After two years of constantly waiting and checking and not being able to do anything, Danny was so burnt out that when the letter finally did come, he didn’t immediately rush to open and read it. He did, of course, open and read it, but he also waited to write up a response. Like Damian, he now had a lot on his plate, except he actually barely had any time to himself anymore.

Between ghost fights, playing keep-away with his parents and the GIW, teaching his friends how to handle themselves in a fight, saving the world, and trying desperately to get through the media block to reach the Justice League, Danny was pulled so thin that he was surprised he hadn’t ripped apart from the stress of it all! That’s not to even mention his own training in the Infinite Realms!

Yes, he had his team, but they could only do so much. And it didn’t help that Vlad the Frootloop who is secretly a vampire keeps getting in his way and causing shit! He did get a dog now, though! Cujo is the best dog.

That’s all to say that he’s beyond tired.

“Whoever came up with the saying “Sleep when you’re dead” is a fucking liar!” he exclaimed, flopping face-first onto Sam’s bed.

She snorted. “Don’t be dramatic, Danny.”

“No, no, he’s got a point,” Tucker said, “Danny’s been getting less sleep since he died!”

Danny groaned again. Sam rolled him over so that he could breathe as he detransformed. “Any luck with getting through the Media Block?”

It was Tucker’s turn to groan. He leaned back so far that he fell onto the floor, but he didn’t care. “No! I don’t know how they’re doing it, but outside news can come in, but nothing’s able to go out.”

That particular issue has gotten a lot of people up in arms. Just after the Ghost Portal was opened, the US Government sent a privately funded branch - the Ghost Investigation Ward, GIW for short and Guys In White for shits and giggles - to contain it. Instead of containing or shutting down the portal, they decided to put the entire down on a soft lock-in, meaning that anything can come in but almost nothing can go out.

The G.I.W. is a branch of the Bureau of Normalcy. Bureau of Normalcy is an organization dedicated to the weaponization or eradication of entities they deem to be odd. Basically government funded war crimes. So no different than what the government normally does, just with a different name. The G.I.W. are the offshoot that specializes in dealing with ghosts.

Getting rid of the G.I.W. is basically number two on the priority list. Once they’re gone, the Media Block will go with them, so will most of the property damage and about a third of Danny’s stress. Sabotaging his parents’ tech so that it’s safer for all parties comes in at a very close second, with making sure the living and dead don’t destroy each other.

“On a slightly different topic,” Sam said, “How have the protections on the Portal been coming along?”

Another project Danny’s been working on in what little spare time he has. Since getting his powers, he’s joined Sam in reading up on different kinds of magic, going so far as to start looking into the greater occult community. That’s when he came up with the idea of putting protection runes around and on the Ghost Portal. Unfortunately, the runes have to be both a specific type and insanely supercharged in order to work on or near the portal. He hasn’t managed to find the  right runes and nothing has been helpful. Another reason to reach out to the Justice League, actually.

Originally, he’d wanted to ask the Justice League for advice and maybe for help from any actual magic users they know. He was perfectly fine, brushing off what he’d been born learning and using those skills, but he was born to kill, not save, so advice from actual heroes would’ve been nice. Unfortunately, the G.I.W. says that he can’t have nice things, so he doesn’t.

Leaving the town was an option that everyone had, but no one was willing to uproot their entire lives because the government got a little bit pissy and don’t know how to listen to their people.

“Not good,” he told her, “The runes keep blowing up in my face.”

“Have you asked any of the ghosts?” Tucker hadn’t bothered to get off of the floor, but he was still working at getting through the Media Block.

Danny shook his head. “None of them are helpful. They won’t listen to me unless we’re fighting and, I don’t know if you know this, but asking about magic runes isn’t really the thing I’m thinking about while trying to save people.”

Sam rubbed her forehead, her eyes closed. “Alright, I’ll look through my grandma’s books again to see if we can find something.” She sighed. “This would be so much easier if we could actually contact someone.”

“I’m working on it!” Tucker snapped, “These guys have something that keeps changing the code on me and it’s near impossible to work through! The second I put even a crack in their firewalls, it fills itself up! How the hell am I supposed to get around a living firewall?”

“Sorry, Tuck,” Sam said, “I know you’ve been working your ass off on that.”

He laughed humorlessly, “That’s an understatement if I’ve ever heard one.”

The three delved into silence, working on their own projects. Tucker was doing his best against the Media Block, Sam was looking everywhere for protection runes strong enough to work on the Portal, and Danny was adding entries to his Catalogue Des Fantômes.

He was on page nineteen of the notebook, the last entry having been Youngblood. There was only one entry that wasn’t actually a ghost, though, but Danny always skilled over that page when he could. Freakshow, theRingmaster of Circus Gothica scared the ever loving shit out of Danny. He hated not being in control of himself. He hated the memory lapses when he was under someone else's influence. He hated that he hurt his friends.

The page he was working on was for the blob ghosts. They were low-threats and adorable. They also made wonderful informants, being able to fly far and fast and listen and relay without being caught. The only problem was that he was pretty sure only other ghosts could see and understand the little blobs.

“It’s been really quiet recently, don’t you think?” Tucker said after about an hour of quietly doing their own thing.

“What do you mean?” Sam asked.

“It’s just been…quiet,” he explained, “Not a lot has been happening. Like, at first, there were attacks every day, but it’s Sunday and Youngblood was the only ghost to attack.”

Danny sat up, coming to the same realization as Tucker. “Oh, no,” he said, catching the other twos’ attention.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“You spoke it into existence.”

“Huh?”

“You said it’s been quiet; Now something’s gonna-!” He was cut off by a rumble that shook the mansion. Swearing, Danny transformed into Phantom and flew out of the window. He didn’t get very far before noticing what was wrong. Sam and Tucker both joined him at the window.

“Holy shit.” Sam muttered.

Tucker nodded. “What the hell?”

The sky, previously a clear blue, was now swirls of toxic green and black. Everything was dimmer, despite the amount of lights in the town. The clouds were all gone, replaced with nothing that was so glaringly obvious that the trio found themselves feeling agoraphobic. The biggest change, though, was that they were now on an island. Where there had been fields stretching on forever just a few minutes ago, there was now a drop into a fading green to black void. Also, everything was tinted purple.

Phantom was quick to regain himself. He flew back to his house because this wasn’t right. Why was Amity Park in the Infinite Realms? How was Amity Park in the Infinite Realms? Both questions he needed answers to yesterday.

As he passed, he saw people freaking out, running around like chickens with their heads cut off to find someone who might have an answer.

Red Huntress was out and about, so he flew to her as fast as he could. “Get everyone to calm down!” he shouted over the noise of everyone screaming below them.

She glared at him. “What the hell is going on?” she demanded.

Now, he and Red have never quite gotten along. Sure, they’ve worked together, but him knowing her and her not knowing him was really the only thing stopping them from getting along perfectly. At least she’d stopped trying to turn him into the G.I.W.

“I don’t know,” he answered, “But I’m gonna find out. As soon as I do, I’ll tell you!” She nodded and was off to work damage control.

It took another few minutes before Phantom was at his house. Using both invisibility and intangibility, he flew down into the lab, vacant of any occupants, and went straight to the Portal. The Portal that was now an empty shell of bad memories. There was no power running through it.

“What..?” He turned on a dime, Plasmius now directly behind him. “What did you do?”

The older ghost clicked his tongue and shook his head. “What makes you think I did this? You have such a low opinion of me?”

“Yes.”

“Shame.”

“Am I wrong?” The silence spoke for itself. “What the hell did you do, Vlad.”

“Now, now, Daniel, no need to be so hostile.”

“Really? ‘Cause we’re no longer on Earth, dipshit.”

“Language, Daniel.”

“My name is ‘Danyal’, asshole.”

“That’s what I said,” he smirked, “Daniel.”

He stopped himself from starting a physical altercation and took a deep breath. “Just tell me what happened so that I can go clean up after you again.”

“I did not cause-”

“Just shut the fuck up and tell me what happened!”

“Well, that’s quite the contradiction or requests-”

Danny threw his hands in the air and left Plasmius in the lab. He didn’t have time for Vlad’s pathetic attempt at mind games! He had shit to figure out and people to help calm down.

“Walking away in the middle of a conversation?” Plasmius caught up easily, “How rude. Where did you learn your manners?”

“Maybe if you’d actually be helpful for once in your goddamn existence, then I’d be more inclined to stay and chat for a moment. As it stands, though, you’re doing a shit job of being mayor. Your people are freaking the fuck out and you’re here antagonizing me. Now, if you really wanna have a conversation, you can tell me what you did.”

Plasmius was quiet for a moment. Then, he admitted, “The King.”

Phantom blinked. “That what?”

“The King.”

“You don’t mean the King-King, right? The one that all the blob ghosts weaned me about? The one I’m sure you were also warned about? That King?” He asked, “Because I can hear the capitalization in your voice, Plasmius, and if you woke up the one guy that could actually destroy the world, then I’m gonna beat your ass and feed your head to a duck.”

The older man had the audacity to look sheepish. “I took his ring. He didn’t like that, so he woke up.”

Phantom groaned, dragging his hands down his face. Taking an unnecessary and deep breath, he said, “Here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re gonna go down there and explain exactly what the hell you did. I don’t care if you blame yourself as Vlad or if you blame yourself as Plausmius, but they need to know. You also need to do your damn job and calm them the fuck down. I am going to figure out how to fix this because you will only get in my way.” He flew away.

Gods, Danny doesn’t get paid nearly enough for this.

*

For the first time since he’d died, Danny was scared for his life. He was all alone, stepping up to fight the King of Ghosts; A powerful deity who rules over the Realms of the dead and the living and everything in-between. He’s got the power to pull an entire city into the Realm Between. He could probably destroy the Living Realms if he so chose to!

And Danny was challenging him to a fight. With no back up. And no hope for medical because he didn’t tell anyone he was going to be fighting the King. If he makes it out of this no more dead than he already was, he’s going to sleep for a week. Everyone else can just stop bothering him.

He stepped up to the steps of Pariah’s Keep. The building was huge, red, glowing, and beyond imposing. It looked like every horrible aspect of every castle was shoved into one and painted to look like it was coated in the blood of the Living.

He’s never been nervous for a fight before.

Danny steeled himself, shoving his fear into the deepest recesses of his mind, and started up the stairs. He could feel eyes on him, but he didn’t know where they were from. He ignored them, letting his transformation wash over him as he walked. All the ghosts knew who he was anyway, so he didn’t feel the need to hide his transformation from them.

He stepped into the great hall, a black and red throne standing proudly on a raised dais at the end of the room. The reflective obsidian floor looked like a void of nothing, the light from the torches on the walls seemed to be absorbed into the void.

Pariah Dark, King of Ghosts, stood tall at the bottom of the dais. His skin was white, his hair and eyes toxic green, his armor black and gray, his cape black and red. The belt and sash he wore both had skulls on them, and he had a longsword on his hip that had a matching skill pommel.

“You are foolish to come here alone.” The King looked down his nose at him. His voice boomed through the room, but he didn’t raise it.

Phantom had adjusted his own outfit, making it look more like what the older assassins wore in Nanda Parbat. He had several knives hidden around his person, his katana on his left hip, a rapier on his right hip, and a tanto on his back.

“I am more concerned for the safety of my home than the  safety of myself. Bringing anyone with me would’ve put them at risk.”

The King sneered. “You are foolish, child. Connections such as those will only drag you down. Cut them, and you will only grow stronger.”

“Y’know, my Grandfather used to tell me something similar when I was a child.”

“Your Grandfather was a wise man.”

“High praise coming from you, you’re majesty. You wouldn’t happen to know who he is, do you?”

“You smell of the Pits; Lifeblood of the Between Realm that has found its way into the Living Realms. You do not have the anger to have been submerged, but you have been around them.” The King stated, “Tell me, where were you born, K̴͔̑͘u̸̙͌̋͠m̴̬̯̤̄͗̊̚m̷̹̜̟̣̈ḯ̴͚͕̙̗̥̀t̸͚̠̭̣͎̒̄u̷̺̹̫̅͑ṡ̷̞͆l̶̝̈́̌̅a̶̹̪̎̇̈̈̓p̸͎̬͖̺͊̾̽͜š̶̞̤̞͐͗͝?”

Despite knowing that that was not a language he had learned, he knew what was said. “L̵̤̞͎̓ử̷͈͉̫̆͊͠m̵̡͓̣͂͋e̵̩̹̼̠̬͆͑ ̴͈̦͒͒ő̸͓̀̂͘r̵̞̰̠̟̓̓ǧ̵̛͈̜̪͋,” he answered, “V̴̯͓̀a̸̼̩̐̉r̷̪͂j̸̛͕̼̈́͌u̶͔̐͌d̴͓͍̀̍͝e̵̤̐ ̵͉̖̅̃ͅǫ̸̹̩̅͌r̸̢̙̕͜ġ̷̦͝, The living call it Nanda Parbat.”

“A̶̧̞̯̓ḷ̶̡͕̰̫̏a̴̛̤̲͔̅̄́͝s̸̝̔͑t̴̫̏̉͋i̶̢̼͈̪̎̂́̕ ̷̼͉̐͌͊̑̾m̶̯̹͔̺͂̀͜ḁ̷͍̟͇̞̈̀̒͆͝͠g̵͈͚̹̽ĭ̶̪̰̿̒,” King Pariah repeated, “I am familiar with that place. You say you were born there?”

“Correct.”

“Do you fight to protect, or do you fight to rule?”

“I fight to protect.”

“Alright, T̶̨͇͋͌͆͌́ä̸͇̰͓̿h̷̥̓͌͋̈̔̓t̴̗̻͚͈͚̺̓́̔e̴̢̯̱̓̄̎̾̆ḑ̷̬̔ḛ̷̱̭̙̪͑̃͌̓͐ ̵̭̯͔̈̈̇̓̕̕l̶̜̞̺̜̦̋̿̄͒͊a̶̢̼͈͆p̶͓̟̱̣̉š̶̹͋̄̕͝,” he drew his sword, Danny did the same. “I will display your banner amongst your kin.” The fight began.

Phantom and Pariah crossed blades in the middle of the room. The King had both hands on the hilt of his, pushing his weight into where the metal clashed. Phantom was wielding his katana, his left hand open and prepared to either go for a dagger or join his right hand on the katana. After a few moments of struggle, the two pushed away, evenly matched for strength.

Again, Pariah made the first move, lunging at Phantom with a burst of flight to speed him up. They crossed blades, but didn’t hold as the large ghost spun around to strike at Phantom from behind. Phantom met his blade with the dagger that fell from his sleeve into his hand. The nerve damage transferred between forms, making the grip on the dagger slip. He slid Pariah’s blade away to cover the fault, though he was nicked in the arm. He didn’t feel it.

As he slid the sword, Phantom’s katana reached to hit Pariah. The blade grazed off the armor, ringing with the force. Phantom was forced to dodge away to save the blade. He was quick to stash it, bushing the dagger back up his sleeve and pulling the rapier from its place on his hip.

Pariah feinted around Phantom’s jab, getting close stabbing at his thigh. He managed a graze before having to pull back in a dodge. Phantom’s rapier caught Pariah's cape, tearing through it and pulling it off of his shoulders. Growling, he pulled the rest of the fabric off, discarding it quickly.

The two stood apart from each other. The floor remained spotless and the torches undisturbed. The two halves of the cape laid at the feet of the two.

“You duel well,” The King commended.

Phantom nodded in thanks. “I do not have nearly your experience, however I was born with a weapon in my hand.”

Again, they met blades in the middle, green sparks flying off at the initial contact. Phantom was quick to slip another dagger into his hand, pushing his enemy’s blade up so he could get in close. As soon as he did, he shoved the dagger into the gap between the ghost’s chest plate and twisted.

Pariah cried out and threw Phandom away from him, the younger ghost hitting the wall before landing on the floor in a crouch. He pulled the dagger from his gut, the thing only inhibiting his movement. Like Phantom, he did not heal.

Switching his weapon again, Phantom lunged forward first with matching daggers in his hands. Pariah kept both blades away with his own, nimbly moving away when he could afford to and kicking when he could not. Finally, he knocked both dagger’s from Phantom’s hands and stabbed through the ghost child’s left hand.

The phantom pain from nerves that no longer worked caused Phantom to scream. He gritted his teeth and grabbed the blade with his other hand, cutting it, and wrapped his legs around Pariah’s arm. The older ghost grunted, lifting his sword and Phantom together. He raised him above his head before slamming him back down into the floor. Again, Phantom screamed, but he began to pull the longsword from The King’s hand.

Raising his arm and slamming Phantom back into the ground over and over again, Pariah didn’t notice his grip on his blade was loosening until Phantom had pulled it from him entirely. In a show of strength, the sword was thrown to the other side of the throne room. It stabbed into the wall, the edge chipping and rolling in several different places.

“You brat!” The King roared. Phantom let go of his arm, flipping away and landing in a crouch near the wall. Pariah gave chase, throwing punches when he got close. Soon, the battle was taken to the air, both parties flying.

Pariah Dark fought like a brawler, all heavy hits and weighted punches. He liked to stay firmly in place when he hit, being too big to outrun his opponent.

Phantom, on the other hand, fought like a snake, relying on speed and flexibility. He used the daggers hidden on his person to wear his opponent down. He was always on the move, depending heavily on outlasting whoever he was fighting.

The King grabbed the ghost child by his neck, squeezing hard enough that Phantom heard a creak, pain radiating from where his bones would be. “You have lost.”

Phantom smirked, “Not quite,” he said. He kicked up, knocking Pariah in the chin, and punched his elbow, flying out of range when the grip on his neck loosened. He gasped for air on habit, green blood leaking from his mouth.

Pariah stood at his full height. “Why do you fight, Ț̷̿̇̾͘a̴̘̪̘̥͖͈͆s̵͙̎̃̍̋͊͜á̴̟̲̰̲̃̓̎͘͠k̵̡̰̖̝̳̑̄a̸̹̹̮͊͆͛̆̈́̕a̶̙̝̭͔̘̪̿̓̃̍̊̾͜͝l̸̨̞͎̫̮̅u̸͓̒́́͆͋̇͠ ̶̛̺̰̦͔̞͖̯͇͑͆̔͝l̶̨̛̖̝̫̭̱̿̃̊̿̉͘̕å̴̢̯͍p̶̡̢̬̩̣̃̏̓̾͋̈̔s̷̱͎̄̅ͅ?”

“To protect,” Phantom glared, “T̵̳̪̂̌̎y̵̛̭̻̖̽r̴̹̰̗͝ḁ̸͚̟̈̆n̴͔̞͊̈͑ṅ̷̝̂-̷̼͙̼̏̃k̴̛̙̣̠͑û̶̘͍̞ň̷͈͇̲ỉ̶̛̗̺͜͝n̸͐̈́͜͠g̴̼̀ä̸̞͙̲́s̶͎̬͙̀͒.”

The King laughed, the sound wet as green blood fell from his mouth and cuts, his chestplate being stained by the stuff. “You will End if you keep that foolish mindset.”

Phantom smirked. “Maybe,”

Pariah’s eyes closed, his entire being losing its glow. Slowly, he disappeared, leaving behind a small ball of fire. Over the orb was his crown, the green fire fading from the black metal. A small black ring joined them on the floor.

He waited for several minutes, staring at the small orb, the ring, and the crown. Then, he fell to his knees with a smile. “I…I did it.” His smile grew to a grin. “I did it!”

Translation 1 - French: Ghost Catalog

Translation 2 - Estonian & Zalgo: Ghost Child

Translation 3 - Estonian & Zalgo: Valley of Snow … Valley of Shadows

Translation 4 - Estonian & Zalgo: Naked Mountain

Translation 6 - Estonian & Zalgo: Child of the Stars

Translation 7 - Estonian & Zalgo: Child of Balance

Translation 8 - Estonian & Zalgo: Tyrant King

Part 8 Part 10

[tortillamastersblog]

♕ No Matter What - Part 4 | Lena Luthor ♕

Pairing: Lena Luthor x reader

Warnings: mentions of death, minor injuries and anxiety attacks

Summary: Following the fight, you run away, your mind spiraling…

Previous Part | Next Part | Masterlist

________________________________________________

In my blind haste to get away, I bump into people which results in them spilling their drinks and shouting at me.

It’s muffled though because my ears are ringing and I have to blink rapidly to prevent the room from drifting out of focus.

I can’t faint now. Not here.

I push through my dizziness and finally make it outside where I stumble to my car. I fumble with the keys, trying to unlock it so I can at least lay down in the backseat, but my hands are shaking too much.

With a whimper I give up, my knees buckling beneath me. I have just enough sense left in me to slide down the side of the car and lean against the tire, rather than letting myself fall forward.

Coward.

The man’s voice keeps replaying in my head until it slowly but surely turns into my dad’s.

I wince and hug my knees to my chest, rocking back and forth with my eyes squeezed shut. “No, no, no, no, no.”

Numb. It’s the only way I can describe how I’m feeling. It’s the only thing I felt for the last couple of days and now I’m at my parents’ front door.

My uniform feels tight and suffocating, and I have to clench my fist to prevent myself from tugging at my collar.

Harper is next to me and she isn’t looking to be doing much better. Her face is void of any emotion and she has the sunken eyes of someone who hasn’t slept all week.

Her blonde hair is slicked back beneath her cap and tied together in a regulatory braid and her uniform, not unlike mine, is crisp and clean.

“Good evening, Sir,” Sergeant Lane says once the door opens. The way he’s standing is shielding Harper and I from view, but when he steps aside, taking off his cap, my dad’s eyes land on us.

He freezes and his face falls. My mom appears a second later, taking in the scene with furrowed eyebrows.

“Y/N, Harper?” she says, her gaze—whether it’s consciously or not—darting to the empty space next to Heather. “What’s going on? Why are you home? Where’s Noah?”

The first tear rolls down my cheek and I wipe it away aggressively, but it’s only the first of many and a second later I’m sobbing. I clasp my hands over my mouth to muffle the sound and lean my head back against the tire.

“How could this happen?” my dad hollers, his voice cracking.

Harper and my mom are huddled up on the couch, crying.

I’m standing in front of the coffee table, my cap in hand, while my dad paces through the room.

“Dad, we did everything we could,” I choke out. I haven’t cried yet. I haven’t cried since I begged Noah to keep his eyes open. “I did everything I could.”

“No you didn’t!” My dad spins around and stares me down with so much hatred, I have to avert my tear-filled eyes. “You didn’t go after him, you—!“

“I couldn’t!” I interrupt with a pained cry. “We were under direct fire.”

My mom lets out a sob and buries her face in Harper’s shoulder.

“But you let him run off!” My dad fires back.

“I didn’t let him do anything,” I cry, “He disobeyed direct orders!”

“You were his superior officer!” My breath catches in my throat when I’m suddenly yanked forward by the collar of my uniform. “It was your job to keep him safe!”

I look up to find my dad baring his teeth, the vein in his forehead throbbing dangerously. When he speaks again, his voice is low and shaky. “He enlisted because he looked up to you. He did everything to impress you and get your approval, and now he’s dead because you did nothing.”

“Dad…” I whisper, the tears I’ve been holding back now dripping down my face.

My dad’s lip twitches and his grip on my collar tightens for a moment before he shoves me away. “Leave.”

Eyes widening, I straighten out my uniform and look at my mom for help, but she’s still crying into Harper’s shoulder. “Dad, please…”

“LEAVE! I DON’T EVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN,” he shouts, shoving me again.

I don’t fight back. I can’t. I look at my mom again and this time I can tell she’s purposefully not looking at me. Neither is Heather, I realize, which shatters my already broken heart.

They think it’s my fault, too.

I choke out a sob and run out of the room.

“You’re a coward, you hear me?” My dad shouts after me when I open the front door. “Coward!”

“Hey,” a soft voice rips me from the memory. My eyes snap open, and I scramble to get away, but then familiar green eyes find mine and I stop.

“It’s okay,” Lena says. She’s crouched down in front of me in her heels, a position I’m sure isn’t exactly comfortable. She reaches for my hand and I let her take it. “You’re okay.”

I gulp and clench my jaw, not attempting to hide the tears that are still running down my face. My heart is pounding in my chest and everything’s still a bit muffled, but I’m no longer on the brink of passing out.

Lena stays with me for what feels like hours, holding my hand in silence and running her thumb over my knuckles until the ringing in my ear finally stops and I feel like I can breathe normally again.

“Ms. Luthor,” I croak, my voice hoarse from crying. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I shouldn’t have—“

Lena squeezes my hand and shakes her head. “Don’t apologize. Let’s just go. I’m taking you back to my place. I can’t in good conscience leave you alone after what happened tonight.”

I want to protest, but the headache that is starting to form has me agreeing with a dejected sigh.

I pull myself up, my knees still a little weak, before helping Lena who’s struggling to get up herself because of her heels and her dress.

Without saying anything, she reaches forward and roams around in the pockets of my jacket until she finds my keys.

The proximity makes my ears tingle, but I ignore it as best as I can because it’s super inappropriate. Not only because of what just happened but because she’s my boss. My very attractive boss…Of course I’ve noticed, I’m not blind, but she’s off limits.

It’s clear that she intends on driving, so I get in the passenger seat, my body slumping against the door as soon as I’m done putting my seatbelt on.

“Wait, what about the others?” I ask when Lena starts driving. I lift my head off the window and look at her.

She glances at me for a second before focusing back on the road. “We split up to look for you when you ran off. I texted them as soon as I found you. They’re probably on their own way home.”

Relieved and, admittedly a little touched that they all went looking for me, I lean my head back against the window. My eyes however stay on Lena whose profile is on full display since her hair is in a high ponytail.

She really is beautiful, especially now because her guard is down. Her face is relaxed and so are her shoulders. Gone is the raised eyebrow and the clenched jaw.

She looks younger like this and it makes me realize just how much stress she’s under all the time.

When we come to a stop in front of her building she looks over, slightly startled that I’m already watching her.

“Are you alright?” she asks, a barely noticeable flush making its way to her cheeks.

I send her a tired smile and nod, too exhausted to respond verbally.

“Okay,” she mumbles, ducking her head shyly and opening her door.

I get out myself while she hands the keys to the building’s valet. She also slips him some money and says something which I don’t catch because I’m waiting by the door.

The elevator ride up to the apartment is silent and when we get inside I’m unsure what to do. Lena’s by my side though and leads me through her bedroom and into the bathroom where she guides me to sit on the edge of the bathtub.

I raise an eyebrow, not quite sure what she’s planning on doing but then she wets a small towel and gestures at my face. “May I?”

I look past her to see my reflection in the mirror and grimace. The blood that ran from my nose earlier is now dried and all over my mouth and chin. Some of it also got onto my shirt and jacket alongside the beer and liquor stains I acquired when I was bumping into people.

My eyes find Lena’s again and I nod, showing her that I’m okay with her cleaning my face.

She starts a little hesitant at first, but soon the hand that is not holding the towel is on my chin, directing my head every which way.

Again, the proximity is making me nervous, but I can’t help but watch her while she works. Her brows are furrowed in concentration and she bites her bottom lip every now and then.

I gulp when she wipes the last of the blood away, her face now merely a couple inches from mine because she leaned in to get a better look.

Her eyes dart up to mine and when she realized how close she is, she freezes. Her breath is shallow and her hand drops from my chin to my chest.

I don’t move. I can’t. Not when her eyes are taking in every detail of my face.

Then, as if on cue, there’s a knock at the front door.

Lena snaps out of her daze, panicking slightly, and rushes out of the room.

My shoulders fall and I take a deep breath. This has never happened before. Yes, we’ve shared some small talk and coffee here and there, but we’ve never been alone like this. We’ve never been this close.

Before my mind can go down a rabbit hole and dissect every interaction I’ve had with the young CEO, Lena returns with a plastic bag.

“What’s this?” I ask to break the tension that her return has inadvertently created.

Lena pulls what looks to be a plain grey sweatshirt and some sweatpants from the bag and hands them to me.

“I figured you wouldn’t want to be sleeping like this,” she gestured at my stained shirt which now that I’m thinking about it smells like booze.

I get up and shake my head, attempting to give the clothes back. “I really can’t take this, Ms. Luthor. You’ve done more than enough and I— I should probably go home.”

Lena looks almost disappointed, but it’s quickly replaced by determination. “No, I’m not letting you leave. I—“ she hesitates— “know what it’s like to be alone after something like tonight, so I’m not letting you go home. You can stay in my guest bedroom. ”

I really want to say no and just go home, but the pleading look she’s giving me convinces me to give in with a sigh. “Alright, thank you.”

Lena smiles softly and pushes the clothes back into my arms. “Don’t thank me. It’s the least I can do after the way you defended me tonight.”

This time it’s my turn to get all shy and squirmy. I feel my ears tingle and tighten my grip on the clothes. I could have just told the guy to keep it moving, but I did defend her to him and let’s just say that that is not something that falls within my job description.

“It was nothing,” I reply honestly.

“No,” Lena says lowly. “It was everything.”

I look up to meet her eyes again to find her already watching me with something I can’t quite place.

She takes a careful step forward, her eyes not leaving mine, and ends up placing her hand on my forearm after hesitating and not really knowing where to put it. My heartbeat soars at the contact and the skin on my arm where she’s touching me is heating up.

She squeezes softly and sends me one last smile before leaving me to change. “Good night, Y/N.”

“Good night, Ms. Luthor.”

________________________________________________

Again, not proofread yet but I wanted to get it out sooner rather than later.

I have an exam coming up, so I won’t be able to write as much, but I’ll try my best to keep updating this story.

Also, here you go @nuianced-tck-enby :)

[duffslut]

Why'd you only call me when you're high? *2*

Izzy Stradlin x Reader

Part *One* of this story.

My Masterlist.

Word Count: 1001

Warnings: Angst!

The day dawned and your body was exactly the same way Izzy had laid it on the bed last night, you didn't know what time you had finally fallen asleep, but you had the feeling that you slept for a very short time. You sat up in bed and rested your back against the headboard, feeling a sharp pain in your head that made you let out a groan. You had no intention of getting up, your body seemed to be stuck to the sheets, you reached over to the desk and grabbed a cigarette.

The day was clear but cold and you felt relieved it was sunday and you didn't have to go to work in the state you were in. You took a drag on your cigarette and let the smoke slowly come out of your nose, your phone rang but you were too lazy to answer it, you heard it ring until the call went to voicemail.

"Hey, mhm... I don't know if you're awake yet but, Izzy told me about last night, he's feeling really bad I think you guys should talk."

And suddenly you remembered. Izzy had come to your house last night, you talked too much, told him you loved him and he just left. The memories came rushing back, making your head hurt even more, and a boiling anger took over you. You answered the phone before Duff hung up.

"You can tell your stupid friend that he has no right to feel bad and that meeting him was the worst thing I ever did in my life!"

You hung up the phone, slamming it down hard. How typical of Izzy, to send his friend to deliver a message for him. What a coward. You said to yourself mentally, trying your best to hate him, you knew that declaring yourself might not happen as expected, but you never imagined that Izzy could be so cold to you, leaving you alone without even an answer.

You walked around the room not knowing what to do, your whole like was such a mess. You were on your third cigarette, still wearing your pajamas when your doorbell rang.

You threw your cigarette butt in the ashtray and went to answer it, wondering who would disturb you on a sunday morning.

- No! - You screamed and closed the door immediately when you saw who was standing behind it.

- Y/n Please! - You heard Izzy say, knocking on the door again. - Please just give me a chance!

You covered your mouth with both hands, and let your body fall to the ground, feeling your throat hurt and your eyes burn, you were about to start crying. Why was he there? Wasn't it enough to humiliate you last night? To leave you alone and drunk after you had just told him you loved him? You remained silent, maybe he would give up and leave.

Minutes passed and the knocking on the door finally stopped, you got up and opened it to check if he had really gone. As soon as you opened it, a warm hand touched your face and Izzy kissed you, on impulse, you responded, with tears running down your cheeks, but then you returned to your senses and pushed him away slowly.

- Why are you doing this, Izzy? - You asked, genuinely confused, why was he there?

Izzy didn't take his eyes off yours, he entered your room and closed the door without looking back, a mixture of feelings ran through your body, and you had to sit down. Izzy seemed embarrassed but at the same time restless, he didn't move or say anything for a few moments.

- I'm sorry. - Was the first thing he said.

- Don't apologize for not loving me back Izzy. - You spoke quietly, not having the courage to look him in the eyes.

You felt his confused stare at you.

- Y/n, I never imagined I could have someone like you. - He said, you kept your head down while Izzy walked to the other couch and sat down. - I never imagined that you could want to have anything with me.

You listened to his words, still unable to understand where he was going with this, he waited for an answer for a while, but you didn't say anything.

- I tried to distract myself by going to parties, drinking like a drunkard and doing drugs, but you were always on my mind, so much so that I always ended up calling you. - You looked up. - I always called you because you were the one I really wanted, it was always you, Y/n.

Izzy sighed, you didn't know what to think.

- Why didn't you say anything yesterday? - It was the only answer you could think of.

- I was taken by surprise, I was too nervous, I was too drunk and I said things I would never have said to you, if you knew how much I wanted to hurt myself for making you cry... Leaving you alone in that bed was more painful for me than for you Y/n, believe me, I was so disgusted when I realized you were right, that I actually used you.

- Please don't talk about yourself like that. - You said.

- It's what I deserve, because I loved you and didn't treated you like I should have, and now I've lost you forever.

- You loved me? - You asked.

- I've always did, and I think I always will.

You finally let out the air that had been trapped in your lungs since Izzy had started talking, he loved you! Seeing him being so intimate and sincere with you made you realize that you could never hate him, not even if you wanted to.

- I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry, for everything. -Izzy said getting up and heading to the door.

It took you a few seconds to get up and run to him.

- Izzy! - He turned around and you threw yourself into his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him. - Stay.

[waynewifey]

aporia — b.w

part one : dear mr. wayne

part two: aftermath

part three: aporia

epilogue

sumary: aporia suggests “an impasse”, a knot or an inherent contradiction found in any text, an insuperable deadlock, or “double bind” of incompatible or contradictory meanings which are “undecidable”. [reference]

pairing: battinson/bruce wayne x reader

genre: drama & romance

warnings: mental health struggle, miscarriage, car crash, a lot of internal dialogue

word count: 2k

A/N: the more i write, the more i put myself in this story. i feel like this ‘you’ is so complex i can’t help but try to explain her further. part four will be bruce’s perspective on all of this + an epilogue. i’m so grateful for the amazing feedback given on the last two parts and for the new followers, thank you so so much. i hope you enjoy this. (also this gif??? HELLO???)

GOTHAM. USA.

— bargaining.

the uncomfortable silence makes you want to scream. she told you that was a normal reaction and they couldn't get rid of those moments, they were essential for your self reflection. the problem was being alone with your thoughts, even for just one minute. they keep deciding you won't recover any time soon. everyone keeps holding you like a cracked vase. even negligence was better than being put under the microscope.

"i don't know what you want me to say" you respond, your gaze anxiously shuffling between the objects in the room. the woman's eyes, however, don't ever leave your face. she holds that journal like a scientist analysing a mutation. like you're some weird thing.

"you should say whatever you feel like saying." that's what she always answers. dr. quinn was extremely stoic, even for a therapist. you still liked her, though, because her pragmatic approach helped you shift your point of view and see yourself from an outside perspective, which made you want to help yourself. after weeks of feeling extra irritable, still trying to forgive your husband for lying to you, you realised maybe everything was too much for you to handle by yourself. you wanted to go back to the real world but before that, you had to do this. a quick chat with your psychiatrist and he gave you the contact to harley quinn.

"i think i've been way too mean to bruce" your confession has her nodding, like that observation had been made sessions before and she was waiting for you to realise that. "he's been so supportive and helpful, but sometimes words just fly out of my mouth and i don't even mean them"

"do you think it's easier to blame him than to come to terms with what actually happened?" you can't answer, because this was all you've asked yourself lately. you were a coward, hiding behind his suffering to prevent confronting yours. it's easy to curse him, to reject him, but it's not what you want to do. lately it feels like you don't have any control over your emotions and actions. you thought maybe if you pushed away the last person that still cared for you, you could disappear in your loneliness and finally stop hurting. "y/n you've been through something terrible. the kind of thing we never think it's gonna happen to us. i know it doesn't feel real, but you have to face it that it is. the thing about trauma... you have to keep living with it. you have to keep going, because it doesn't go away. but this is your life and you don't get to stay on standby. you hurt the people you love because it's better than hurting yourself. you told me you feel bad about it, so why won't you change?"

why won't you? you don't even know where to start. it felt comfortable living in sorrow forever. horrible, but comfortable. again, it was in fact easier to blame him than to accept this was reality. but he's right outside, been waiting for you for two hours, as he has done twice a week for over a month. you weren't being fair to him. he didn't deserve this. dr. quinn sees the defeat in your eyes and sighs in a mission accomplished type of breath.

"think about this, okay? we'll talk on friday." you nod, as if you weren't already overthinking it.

bruce sees you before listening to you. he's created the habit to stay in the waiting room with headphones in, blasting loud music. he didn't want you to feel like he was prying on you. he also didn't want to listen anything you had to say about him. you had the right to be mad at him, given everything that had happened. he knew you didn't mean it when you bomb dropped the word 'divorce' every now and then. it would take you some time to get back to normal and he wouldn't rush you.

you walk to the car quietly and get into the driver's seat. he agreed to let you drive to and from therapy. the office was actually in dr. quinn's house, a little bit on the country side of the city, if you could call it that. it was a 50 minute drive with no traffic, roads empty enough for you to drift off in you thoughts. he watches you drive, eyes brightening up a little more everyday. he realised that trying to shield you from the world wasn't going to work out. you need to learn how to be on your own. he needs to learn how to care for you while away.

"i'm sorry," you caught him off guard, observing the curves of your face. he frowns at the unexplained sentence. you glance at him but look back at the road. "for the way i've been acting. for pushing you away. for being too complicated. i know you're trying to help… thank you for staying."

"darling, of course. for better or for worse, remember? i'm never leaving you. we're getting through this, together. and don't you worry about me, i'll be okay when you are too, alright? you're doing great, i can see how much you're working towards it." he holds out a hand for you and you take it, intertwining your fingers. his calloused palms are softer now, courtesy of the months without batman-ing. they still embrace yours entirely and warm the cold tips of your fingers.

"i love you" the sweetness of that feeling dominates your tastebuds and it's almost like the day you started dating. that innocent type of love that consist of the pure enjoyment of each others company. however, your attempt to savour the moment is ruined by a shape in your peripheral eyesight.

"i love you too" bruce's voice is muffled by the anxious thoughts taking over your mind. the panic starts to overflow. he notices your body getting stiff and the wheel looking loose on your hand. your breathing lost it's rhythm to creaking gasps. there's something wrong. your eyes are frozen in a vehicle. he's seen this van before. maybe not this one, but an identical one, in a security camera tape in court. it looks exactly like the one that took you. "baby, hey, hey. i'm right here." you don't pay any mind to the man beside you. you can't, not when your instincts are telling you to run. not when you can feel the gun getting knocked on your head over and over again. bruce is saying something. the tears are blurring your sight. this is too much.

he's calling you screaming at this point, tears are rolling down your cheeks and you still haven't looked away from the van. there's a bump coming up, the car is dangerously fast and you're not driving at all. he goes for the wheel but isn't quick enough. the tires wiggle, going in their own direction. the car changes lanes, getting in the wrong way of the street. another car is coming and the impact isn't light. your head is thrown forwards, the airbag covering your face. the windshield shatters and little pieces of glass get stuck in your hair. the crash isn't too bad, you're both still awake and only the front has been smashed. but you get out hyperventilating, falling onto the ground and weeping.

bruce gets out as well, only a scratch on the forehead. he has to kneel on the dirt to hold you up. for a while, he doesn't say anything. the other driver is standing, phone in the ear. he's also fine. the cars were the only damage. two other drivers stop by, offering help. you wish he could help you, but it seems as if there's something inherently wrong with you.

— depression.

the weeks following the accident were harsh. it took a while to get you believing in recovery again. you still weren't sure. somehow there was press at the site, so pictures of you crying next to a car crash made it to the papers. there's minor commentary online about you faking it for your husbands popularity. most of the netizens feel desperately sorry for you and have painted you to be their new princess diana, the comparison seems wild to you.

you only go online every three days or so, because you can't resist the urge to know what bruce hasn't been telling you. jokes on you, he's actually been a lot more transparent lately. you agreed that the batman would show up to the sentence of edward nashton, to pressure the jury with his presence. it worked and the criminal got life without parole. the lawyers said that your public presence impacted on his trial, as 20 years was the standard. you were just glad he wouldn't do that to anybody else ever again. the case got national and your family from outside the state, that you not-so-kindly kept in the dark, started making contact, victimising you all over again.

but things were getting better, gradually. it had been almost a year and it felt like that chapter of your life was finally being finished. you were trying to get your life back, including your driver's license. it was suspended for a while after the accident, so now you had to submit a bunch of medical records to prove that you were mentally fine to drive again. that's how you found yourself in bruce's home office, searching everywhere for your documents. you could've asked him where he put it, but he had just fallen asleep in the living room and you didn't want to disturb him.

in one of the desk's drawers, you find a folder with the local hospital logo on it. you open it, shuffling through the papers you've seen before. only one stands out, with "ob/gyn" on the top of the sheet. you wonder if there's anything helpful there. your eyes start reading the words one by one, listing the examinations they've done on you. the subject changes abruptly.

the ultrasound analysis reports the miscarriage of an unknown pregnancy to the patient's spouse.

you feel like you're about to throw up. the world starts spinning as you force yourself to continue to read.

the fetus was estimated to be in the development stage of the beginning of the second trimester. the miscarriage was most likely a result of several mechanical trauma. dilation and curettage was performed with the patient in a medically induced coma.

you try to remember to breathe in and breathe out just like dr. quinn taught you. you expect the tears but they don't come out. the panic doesn't come. it's suddenly so quiet. it's not like a hole has been punched through your chest, it's like you have no chest at all. it's like you don't even exist. you somehow sit down, your body does. you feel as if it's moving on it's own and you're just watching from afar. your thoughts sound so distant, so irrelevant. you can only think of the baby that had once been inside of you and you didn't even realised. you didn't have the time to love him. you've had him there, right there, the thing you wanted the most in the world and he was taken from you. everything was taken from you.

if a tree falls on a forest, and there's no one around to hear, does it still make a sound? it felt like your fall was silent.

[pinkthrone445]

~I'd do it all over again if you're with me~ Prequel

Next part

Pairing:Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Gender: little bit of hurt, fluff.

Warnlings : (+18) strong words, mention of alcohol.

Summary:you and Melissa had been in a relationship for a couple of years now, until at your sister's wedding you talk about marriage and you realize that the two of you had different perspectives on the future of the couple.

Request:I’m obsessed with this! Can you make a prequel where the reader talks about getting married and Mel refuses and then later Mel proposes the reader? 🥺 I loved when you talked about it! @babytakeittothehead

Hope you like it! ❤️

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You and Mel were at one of your sisters' weddings, you had traveled over the weekend so you could enjoy the party and the family. Everything had been beautiful, the atmosphere was spectacular, there was certainly love in the air. You and Melissa had been together all night, her hands always in contact with yours or your body. You loved moments like that where you could go out and enjoy being a couple in front of everyone, unlike when you visited her at school and you had to control themselves, so the kids wouldn't make disgusted faces.

When it was time to toss the bouquet, you and Melissa didn't make any effort to go participate, you just stayed at the table talking, that's why you were surprised when the bouquet practically fell into her hands, which made you laugh when you saw her face. While everyone applauded and congratulated you two, the redhead left the bouquet on the table making a disgusted face

-"No thanks"-she said, and another guest looked at her curiously

-"You're not a big fan of commitment, I assume"- he murmured and Melissa shook her head, taking a sip from her drink

-"Not even drunk in Vegas would I get married, that's a mistake I only made once and I won't do it again for anyone. The only thing a wedding achieves is that at the time of separation, everything it is more complicated. Because believe me, that eternal love bullshit is a lie. All couples have problems and are going to separate as soon as possible with the stupidest reason as an excuse"-The redhead replied too sincerely to be at a wedding, clearly she had taken a little too much to drink

-"Come on Mel, there are couples who last a lifetime together, look at you and me how well we are doing in 3 years together, I see us together for many more years. A wedding only confirms that love that couples feel for each other" - You responded trying to lighten the harsh comment your girlfriend had made, she just laughed

-"Believe me honey, everyone separates at one point or another and those who haven't, it's because they're cowards"-She replied as she continued drinking, you frowned and for the first time in the night you stopped having contact with her by letting go of her hand

-"I think it's more cowardly to give up... So you are planing to leave me?"-You asked, confused, and she laughed, thinking your question was a joke

-"No, not now, but we don't know what will happen in the future, life is hard and fights happen" -she replied without much care-"don't know what will happen in the future when we go through problems"

The rest of the party you avoided the redhead as much as you could, until it was time to go to the hotel. As you were taking off your dress and putting your pajamas, Melissa hugged you from behind pressing her front to your back and kissing your neck, knowing the effect that had on you, but you sighed and slipped out of her grip

-"I thought that if we were going through troubles we would talk like adults and fix things. Not that we would separate at the first sight of difficulties, I imagined myself with you all my life..."-You whispered in pain and got up from the table

-"Come on, I didn't think you were so deluded" - she joked and you sighed

- "I'll go see my sister to see how she's doing" - you said before walking away.

-"I'm tired Melissa, it was a very long wedding" - you replied and she tried to hug you but you wouldn't let her, laying you on the bed and letting your hair down

-"But it's the last day we have at the hotel before we go back home, I thought we'd enjoy it"-she whispered disappointed seeing how you covered your body with the blankets without even deigning to answer before closing your eyes. Defeated, the redhead changed and lay down next to you.

The next day you thought that you would feel better, but her words stuck in your head, she was thinking about a future without you in it. You sighed looking out the window of the plane, why would Melissa say that? Were you giving 100 percent of yourself in the relationship and that relationship already had an expiration date? Didn't she imagine a future with you? Didn't the supposed love she had for you make her want to spend her life with you? She could have said she didn't want to get married because she didn't believe in weddings anymore and you would have understood. But no, she said she didn't want to get married because it would make the separation more complicated, that only fools believed in weddings, you assumed that made you a fool... She said that problems could separate you, so little faith did she have in the relationship and so little effort would put into fixing things that she would be ready to part ways in the first fight?

Your heart felt heavy, maybe you were overthinking things, but it had really hurt you to hear that from her. If you had known that she didn't imagine a future with you like the one you imagined with her, maybe you wouldn't have been so involved in the relationship, the more you thought about it, the more heartbroken you imagined yourself.

For her part, Melissa didn't understand anything, neither your change of mood nor what made you sick. You never refused to have sex with her, in fact, you almost always initiated it and never said no, no matter how tired you were. Also, whenever you traveled together on a plane or bus, you rested your head on her shoulder and hugged her arm because that helped you calm down and sleep, but now you had turned the other way, with your back to her, looking out the window of the plane, and hugging your pillow. She tried to talk to you, but you were on the verge of tears and didn't want to cry on the plane, so you put on your headphones and closed your eyes trying to avoid her as much as possible.

When the plane landed and you got down, Melissa spent the whole way back home talking, but you barely responded to her, your head was completely elsewhere and Melissa still didn't know why. You had already been dating for 3 years and she knew you more than you knew yourself, but there were times when she could be so clueless with the things that were happening to you, if you didn't say it to her face, she didn't realize what made you feel bad, or even realize that it was she who had hurt you.

As soon as you got home, you started unpacking your bags and putting your clothes in the wash, especially the ones you would need the next day to go to work. Among the things you pulled out was a set of red underwear, Melissa's favorite color, but it was definitely new because she hadn't seen it before. The redhead's eyes lit up with excitement and possibilities, approaching you with a mischievous smile and hugging you from behind kissing your shoulder without taking her eyes off your suitcase and the underwear set

-"And that? I'm sure I haven't seen it before... Is it beautiful, when did you buy it?" - Your girlfriend asked you excitedly, hoping that the talk would lead you to wear it

-"I bought it on the trip, I was going to use it for you the night after the wedding, until I lost the desire to have sex"-you replied seriously and I let you off her grip to continue doing your things, the redhead looked at you with confusion

-"No problem with that, you could use it now... I'm dying to see you with that" - she said in a seductive tone, but you barely paid attention to her

-"I can't, I have a lot of things to do for tomorrow for my work and I want to sleep early to be well rested" - you replied putting the set of underwear in the wash and taking out some papers from work, leaving her more confused.

The next day, Melissa got up to make you breakfast, she knew she had done something wrong but she still didn't know what. When she got up, she was surprised to see that you had already left and she hadn't noticed, almost always you were the one who had the hardest time waking up. The redhead sighed, ate breakfast by herself, and then went to work.

At recess, she told her friend Barbara everything that had happened on the trip she had had with you, how much fun you were having until the bouquet fell into her hands. And how confused she had been after that because of the anger you were showing. Her friend laughed at how lost the redhead was

-"Don't you think maybe she's upset about how quickly you dismissed the idea of marriage? You're in a relationship of 3 years with her, maybe she hoped to get married someday. The fact that you are in a relationship means that these things are discussed between the two of you, not denied without first consultation at least. A relationship is about committing to things even if you don't like it, it's about demanding but also giving. I know you're not a fan of weddings because of your ex, but she's younger and maybe she imagined the perfect wedding with you. You should ask her if that's why... And maybe if you don't want a huge wedding, plan a party even if it's just to celebrate your love. That girl left her house to go live with you, she puts up with your strong character and your anger, and she is always attentive to help you with everything, I think it's your turn to do something for her..."-The eldest advised her and Melissa sighed, she knew she was right but that didn't make it any easier, just thinking about marriage turned the redhead's stomach because it reminded her of her failed marriage and how she was cheated.

After join up some courage, at the end of the classes she was ready to go home to talk to you. It hurt her to see that the food she had prepared for you was still in its place, even though you had clearly arrived home a long time ago. After leaving her things in place, she went to the living room where she found you eating a bag of chips while you watched TV without paying much attention to it

-"Honey..." -The redhead tried to get your attention but didn't succeed-(Y/N)?-she tried again

-"Mhhh?"-you asked still looking at the tv

-"I'm home..."-she whispered

-"I saw that, I saw you"-you replied dryly and she sighed

-"Look hon...I get that you're angry about what I said, but you can't treat me like this just because of that, I think you're overreacting" - Said the redhead, tired of your bad mood, you paused the movie and put the potatoes aside, finally paying attention to her

-"Do you even know what bothered me about what you said? Because for me this is an appropriate reaction, because what you said made me reconsider my whole future with you"-You got up from the couch upset and stood in front of her

-"If this is because I said I didn't want a stupid marriage, it's obvious that we're going to have our disagreements, but if you're going to get like this because of something so stupid, I can't imagine when we have more serious problems, we're not going to last much longer together"-Your girlfriend replied clearly annoyed, everything she had practiced of how to talk things down was no longer useful, her bad temper was winning over her desire to talk things calmly

-"You don't get it! It's not about the fucking wedding Melissa! Yes I would love to get married, but I can live without it. It's about you not thinking we have what it takes to be together as a couple despite the problems. We haven't had a big fight yet and you're already thinking about separation and giving up. If you don't want a future with me, if you plan to break up with me later for some stupid shit, you better do it now and end this once and for all. 'Cause I'm not your toy to please you until you decide you don't need me anymore"-You yelled at your girlfriend looking at her with teary eyes. The redhead took a step back, calming down and sighing as she finally understood what was happening

-"Hon... I'm sorry, I didn't mean that, I wasn't even thinking about what I said... I just remembered how stupid my ex-husband was and everything I had to go through to separate and get a divorce" - she whispered and came closer to you, but you took a step back crying

-"Well, but I'm not your ex-husband, I'm not going to cheat on you with someone else, I love you and adore you, I'd never think of hurting you like that. From day one that we are together I have put everything I am into this relationship and it hurts me to see that you are already thinking about ending things with me at the slightest confrontation"-you whispered no longer strong enough to fight, the anger left your body and was replaced with sadness, Melissa came up to you and hugged you tight kissing your forehead and this time you left her and leaned on her chest sobbing, just the thought of losing her broke your heart into a thousand pieces-"I don't want to lose you Melissa, I want us to do everything to fix the situation even though we have fights because I love you, I love you more than anyone else in this life..."-You whispered against her chest and she hugged you even tighter

-"I love you and I can't imagine a life without you, I'm so sorry for what I said, I was so scarred by my past that I didn't realize I was ruining my future with you... Every night before I go to sleep, I pray to the heavens that for the rest of my life you will be by my side when I wake up. It was kind of unconscious that I said, I can't imagine my life without you, I'm so sorry, I want you forever in my life."-Melissa kept whispering sweet things while still hugging you, things that erased your fears and insecurities, that brought peace back to your heart.

It was Valentine's Day and Melissa had been working longer hours, having two classes together meant twice as many students, twice as many exams and twice as many children who needed help. On that particular day, she tried to leave early to see you at home, but one of her students was having trouble at home and decided to vent to the redhead minutes before she left, forcing her to stay longer to help him. When the child finally stopped crying and the parents came to pick him up, it had been almost three hours since the last time she had sent you a quick message saying she would arrive a little later without time to give you more explanations. Melissa sighed grabbing her bag and walking through the parking lot, she knew that you had agreed to go out to dinner together in a luxurious restaurant and there was still time to get to the reservation if you canceled going to the movies as you had agreed, but she was very tired and with little desire to go out, the day had left her exhausted. Between the restless children and the problem she had to handle, she no longer had any desire to be with more people, only to stay with you at home. But she had already left you waiting and you already had the reservation paid, she knew you would be mad if you didn't do anything special on Valentine's Day. Melissa carefully opened the front door, but not before smiling despite her tiredness. As soon as she put down her coat and purse, she saw how you got up from the couch wearing a beautiful and elegant dress, silently approached her side, she expected you to yell at her or get angry at her tardiness, but instead, you caressed her cheek with a small smile on your lips

~Months Later~

-"Hi Mel, I missed you... Are you okay?"-You asked with real concern in your voice, the redhead carefully hugged your waist

-"Hello sweetie, I'm fine... I'm so sorry to be late, it's just that one of my students had a problem and needed my help..." - she answered looking at your eyes

-"Are they okay?"-you asked and she nodded-"and you are really okay?"

-"Yes, I'll take a quick shower and then we can go to the restaurant, so we don't lose our reservation" - The redhead spoke quickly trying to get out of your embrace but you wouldn't let her, she looked at you confused

-"Do you want to stay?"-You whispered, the redhead was shocked, it looks like you read her mind, she turned to look at you, pointing to your dress

-"No, you're already dressed and we've already paid for the reservation" - she insisted, not because she didn't want to stay, but because she didn't want to look bad saying yes so fast

-"But you're tired... I know you Mel, I know it's Valentine's Day but you don't feel like going out and I know"-she pointed to your dress again but you took it off and let it fall, leaving you only in panties and leaving the redhead speechless to answer you-" done, I don't have a dress anymore, do you want to stay now? You can barely keep walking, I know you wanna stay, I won't get mad if you are honest with me..."-You whispered and smiled

-"I wanna stay..."-she answered and you hugged her tightly, the redhead took advantage of your lack of clothes to let her hands travel over your body smiling

-"Let's take a shower"-you whispered over her lips before kissing her

After a relaxing and gentle shower together, the two of you got into bed and put on a movie on TV, neither of you bothered to put on clothes, all you did was bring some snacks. The redhead's head was on your chest as she hugged your waist and felt your soft breathing. Usually you were the one snuggling up in her, but you knew she was tired and needed it. Melissa was focused on her thoughts instead of the television. Anyone else would have been mad at her for being late on Valentine's Day, but you were worried about her and hers students, not mad at all. In previous years the two of you had made great gestures for each other on Valentine's Day, but nevertheless, Melissa appreciated this much more, that you had put your plans aside because she needed it, she appreciated that you realized what she needed. She valued staying at home with you, without hearing a single complaint about the ordinariness of the situation on such a special day. Melissa was grateful for you, you had a lot of patience with her. Your hand was playing with the redhead's hair and when she felt your laughter thanks to the movie under her cheek, she came back to reality looking at you with shining eyes, you felt watched and you looked at her confused

-"What?"-Your mouth was full of Doritos and she thought that was adorable

-"Marry me" - she whispered getting up and sitting down next to you looking into your eyes, you almost choked

-"What?"-you asked again after drinking some water

-"Marry me... I want to live the rest of my life with you, I want the world to know that we belong to each other, I want our friends to celebrate our love with us, I want it to be almost impossible for us to walk away from each other, I want you to marry me... Please, I'd be very foolish if at some point in my life I thought of leaving you again"-The redhead spoke truthfully and you looked at her confused, although you wanted to get married you knew that she wasn't a big fan of the idea, and if you had ever imagined that she would propose to you, it certainly wouldn't be while you were in bed naked watching a comedy movie. At your silence, the eldest became nervous- "I promise I'll buy some rings as soon as possible but if you want we can..."-The redhead couldn't keep talking when you sat on her legs and started kissing her with emotion and tears in your eyes, her hands immediately went to your waist as she enjoyed having you close-"Is that a yes?"-she spoke over your lips without separating an inch

-"YES! DEFINITELY"-You screamed and kissed her again, which made her laugh. Melissa was doing this out of pure love and you knew it, she wasn't doing it in front of a big crowd to show off, or because she had made a mistake and wanted to fix it, she was doing it completely out of love, for her and for you.

-"I'm going to be the only one lucky enough to enjoy your Doritos-flavored kisses for the rest of my life, future Mrs. Schemmenti"-she answered making you laugh and kiss her again-"I love you..."

-"I love you more, happy Valentine's..."-you answered

[fandomworld9728]

Radioapple Angst Request! - Part 2:

“Why is it that I always seem to find you on the roof?”

“That’s a secret.” Turning to Alastor with an amused smile, he patted the spot next to him. “Gonna come sit with me this time or call me an idiot and tell me to get to bed again?”

“I suppose I can humor you tonight. But only tonight.”

That one night had turned into many more. They were by far some of the best nights of Alastor’s afterlife.

Evenings after dinner on the roof, sleepless nights spent together in Lucifer’s ridiculously large bed talking about whatever popped into their heads, late nights drinking in Alastor's radio tower…

He was not going to lose those moments just because the little king was being a coward. Now if only Alastor could figure out why. Why did he run away like that?

Perhaps their dear Charlie knows. He’ll have to go and ask her before he goes over to the palace. It was always best to be prepared.

~

“No, no, no. Why is it flaring up now? Roo… why won't you just leave me in peace?” He could feel it creeping up his neck. The darkness. It was wrapping around his throat and covering his eyes-

“Lucifer!”

“Alastor maybe we shouldn’t-”

“Nonsense. Isolation isn’t good for the mind. Especially one that is spiraling. Much like your father’s.”

Charlie? Alastor? What in the unholy hell were they doing here?! It wasn't safe! He had to leave. Had to get away and keep them safe-

"There you are sire!"

Shit! "S-Stay back! Don't come near me, either of you!"

"Dad? What's going on- what is that blood goop?!"

Time was running out. He couldn't stop it from happening this time. "Alastor. I swear I will tell you everything if you get Charlie out of here. It isn't safe."

"...Very well."

"What? No! Let me stay and help!"

This was it. As soon as Charlie was out of those doors Lucifer would tell him everything. After that, he would leave, and this darkness would most likely swallow him whole forever. Lilith wasn't here to use her song to keep it at bay anymore.

"Alright. I was promised an explanation." Taking a look quickly around the room, Alastor only now noticed what a mess it was.

Not just from dust or clutter like he had expected to find. Furniture was upturned and looked like it had been thrown, and some looked to be smashed into pieces. The walls and floors had claw marks across them. Then, there was Lucifer himself.

"First, you can tell me about those shadows that seem to be trying to devour you."

Lucifer was silent for a moment, compilating the request. He didn't have time for this. But what choice did he have? He said he would explain everything. So, with what time he had left, he would hold up his end of the agreement.

"It's... the darkness. It's Roo. After what I did... letting evil into the world, I went and spoke with Roo. She made a deal with me. The very first demonic deal... she wanted to always be with me and in exchange she would keep the balance between the light and dark in the world. In people's hearts and souls."

What? Did Alastor hear that correctly? Lucifer, who has always hated his demonic form and everything that came with it, especially in the very beginning, made the very first demonic deal in creation to once again save humans? To right what he and Heaven deemed a mistake?

"But... fuck! I can't even do that right!" Pushing his hair out of his face, Lucifer let a bitter, self-loathing laugh slip out. Along with the tears he had so desperately been trying to hide.

"What do you mean?"

"When I'm stressed, or my emotions become too much to handle, I slip. My control wavers! She takes over my body and senses! Roo is able to upset the balance! Lilith... her song helped. Her singing can hypnotize people. It only worked on me for a couple of seconds, but that was enough time for me to regain control."

It felt... good... to talk to someone about this. He could feel the darkness recede. Just a little, but that just meant he had more time. More time with Alastor.

"It's one of the reasons I would isolate myself. Especially... Especially after I had hurt Charlie- Oh god! Lilith was right to take her when she left! I almost killed my little girl!"

"Lucifer! You're spiraling again!" Reaching out to try and get him to stop pulling at his hair, Alastor was surprised and a little hurt when he recoiled. He had never rejected his touch before.

"You can't touch me! She'll infect you or I-I'll hurt you! Please..."

Taking a few deep breaths to try and steady himself, Lucifer continued. As much as he was worried that he would hurt him, it helped to have him here.

"I didn't want to reject your confession. I was just- I'm scared. I can't take another heartbreak. I gave up everything for someone who left. Who got tired of all my baggage. Honestly, I can't blame her. I knew it might happen one day. I just hoped that she wouldn't have kept me from my own daughter, who I carried and gave birth to since she couldn't. And to just pretend I don't exist!"

~

"Alastor what is going on?!"

It had all happened so fast. Lucifer had transformed right in front of his eyes into a giant Eldrige being, destroying the palace in the process. It was glorious. However, the circumstances were not. Alastor had to fix this. So, he returned to the hotel quickly with a plan.

"Your father is trapped in Roo's darkness. Do not worry, I know what to do."

"And what would that be?"

"That, my dears, is to reassure that foolish king that I have no intentions of leaving. He is forever stuck with me whether he likes it or not."

Charlie and Vaggie exchanged worried glances before looking back at Alastor. "How can we help?"

~

Lucifer hated this part the most. Floating in a void of darkness. At least he was starting to lose himself enough that the screams of his people were beginning to muffle. If only he had some light...

"Salutations! Dear Sinners, worry no longer. For I am here to tame the beast that is our very own King of Hell."

Huh? Alastor? How could he hear his voice so clearly? Wait. Was that... light? A light was just ahead! If only he could reach it! But... he was tired...

"Once he comes to his senses, Hell can enjoy a royal wedding. Between whom you may ask. Why, dear listeners, Lucifer Morningstar and myself."

A wedding? For him and Alastor? He wanted to... no. He could just be saying that. There was no way. Right?

"Including a soul deal forever binding us together. You will not get rid of me Lucifer. Even if I have to hunt you down and drag you back kicking and screaming."

He couldn't believe it. He had to get free, go to him and apologize. The light was shining brighter as he swam to it. Fighting against the shadows and self-doubt for the first time in a long time that tried to pull him back, Lucifer finally reached it! Reaching out the last little bit of distance to grab it and let it envelop him.

In an instance, the darkness exploded off his body and rushed back inside of him, leaving him to fall from the sky. He was too weak to use his wings to catch himself. He barely registered it, but he could feel warm and sturdy arms catch him. Looking up, Lucifer saw that he was back in the care of Alastor. He was really going to have to make it up to him.

Part 1

[balkanradfem]

I have some good news! I am now in a possession of a smartphone that is not old and decrepit, and I'm going to tell you the story of how I got it.

I've been working, and the mother of the woman I work for was there. She's always been chatty and sweet to me and I feel relaxed around her. So at one point my phone falls out of my arms, hits the floor, and falls apart in three pieces. She sees this and reasonably gets worried, but I reassure her 'it's all good this happens every week', because my phone is so old that it doesn't break from falling apart, I just need to put the battery back in. She the asks me if I'd like her old phone, because she got a new one, just needs to set it up. And immediately I'm like 'Nooo that would be too much, I could never repay you, I'm sure there's someone else who needs it more'. And I leave the interaction.

And then the next day I'm thinking, maybe my reflexes to decline stuff are not that great. Someone on tumblr recommended me to ask for people's old phones, and I was there, rejecting them when they were offered to me. And I'm thinking, if only I could offer her something in return for the phone, then I could propose a trade.

Next week, I see her again! She complains to me about the price of chestnuts on the market, and I immediately hatch a plan; I can get this woman chestnuts for her phone. That way it is fair, I resolve an inconvenience and I get her old phone, perfect. So I actually take several hours to hype myself up to ask her, thinking of a way to ask her that wouldn't bring me into an uncomfortable situation. Maybe she's already promised her phone to someone else while I've been a coward. In the end, I'm like, okay, I'm going to take a shot and laugh it off if she says no. And I ask her 'hey, do you still have that old phone?' and she's saying 'Yeah, I'm still using it! My daughter didn't have time to set my new one, but maybe next week it'll happen.' And then I reveal that I've been thinking of bringing her a bag of chestnuts to trade for her phone, and she laughs me off and tells me not to bring anything, she'll just give me the phone when she gets her new one set up as she doesn't need this one anymore.

I don't see her next time, but time after that she's in there, and as soon as she sees me, she goes 'I brought you your phone!' and I'm just overjoyed that she remembered. After I was done with work she even found a charger and just left me with it. I thanked her dozen times and went home happy.

The phone I got was Samsung Galaxy, which is funny because my old phone is also Samsung Galaxy, I'm in the same boat. My sim card wouldn't fit into it because it needed to be smaller! I went to the sim provider center to ask them to give me a smaller one, and they did, as well as warned me that this new phone is going to eat up all the internet immediately, and that the mobile data is even turned on automatically every time I turn the phone on! I was expecting the first, but not the second. So I spent several hours figuring out how to stop that phone from using up the internet; I blocked every app from using data (except tumblr), I stopped all apps from updating (be yourself), I went into the settings of every app individually to stop them from using data in the background, and still when I turned on the mobile data, 50mb was eaten immediately (I opened tumblr app for one second). Gyns I only have 200 mb. So I'm thinking, mmmm, this won't work, I'm not going to be able to stop this thing from eating my humble 150mb in 3 seconds. So I took out the sim card, put it back in my old phone. New one is so big it wouldn't fit in my pocket anyway! And if I broke it I would feel terrible. So, I am still back on my old phone, which I love, and the new phone is going to serve a different function; it's going to be my camera.

The new phone has an incredible camera that allows me to take close-up photos, which means I've been taking pictures of every little flower, every droplet of water, and every plant I could find in the grass. The difference in quality is incredible. This thing can also take pictures in the night! Something my old phone cannot dream of doing. You're about to see high definition photos of garden, mushrooms, forest, and anything else I set my eyes on.

[mayashesfly]

Run Away

Vox and Alastor gets trapped together in a situation where both of them have to work together in order to escape and survive.

However, Alastor is still recuperating from his fight with Adam and his powers being limited from his deal and his cane being broken that Vox has to be the one that majorly deals with their pursuers.

Their pursuers were ready to deal with Alastor by himself, making it difficult for him to escape through his shadows but Vox still has a few tech he could travel through plus being able to teleport anywhere normally in a short distance.

Vox could've easily escaped by himself if he wants to.

He's not even the main target these people have, it's Alastor.

But regardless, he's adamant with escaping this situation with Alastor alive to showcase just how much more powerful he is and not a coward unlike Alastor.

Time passes by as tensions and emotions well up to the front with the amount of time the two has to experience with the other. Vox was ever so slowly losing steam as his powers were starting to run up dry with how much he has to compensate for protecting two Overlords while being pursued by a larger group all by himself.

Alastor hates this.

Alastor hates having to rely on Vox.

Hates being weak.

Hates being helpless and forced into this situation by a bunch of weaklings who's only as strong as they are because they banded together to take down the Radio Demon.

Hates that it had to be Vox.

Vox can't contact the other Vees.

Doesn't know if he can contact the other Vees.

Or if they're fine and safe and well and

.....

He just hopes that they're safe and unaffected by this little side venture Vox is on.

And that he and Alastor can get out of this alive even if his.... ...something... never wanted this to happen.

It all comes to a head when they finally found a spot Alastor and Vox can both escape from.

A weak point in their pursuers' structure.

But they were getting surrounded and Vox's demon form was too damaged to use.

Alastor tried to go into his demon form, but his magic sputters out as Vox shields him with his body.

"I can look for another escape. Leave. Radio Demon! That's the one thing you're good at. I can handle this by myself!!"

"Don't be preposterous you stupid little picture box! Even you can't handle them at this state "

"JUST LEAVE!!!"

His ears pinned down as he stared into that swirling red eye.

Anger, frustration, and fear welling up as digital tears before quickly disappearing.

Alastor could only gawk as he felt his influence get into his brain before he snapped out of it with a shake of his head.

"No. I won't do something so stupid, Vox "

"Please"

A flash of that hopeful smile entered his mind as big beady square eyes stared at him lovingly.

Before being shattered into a million pieces as Alastor left.

Feeling the suffocating feeling of the chain around his neck as he was being pulled apart from him.

Those big beady square eyes were looking at him yet again. Pleading.

"Just do it for me. Just this once."

He was begging him.

There was a hopeless quality in his voice as radio waves muffled his voice.

But Alastor could clearly hear.

"Just go."

He hates Vox so much.

Making him run away yet again.

(he'll make them pay)

[youcantkillamutant]

reading this insanely wonderful piece (?), work (?), analysis (?) by @plutoslvr and really deeply thinking about Kevin leaving after his hand was broken. And just thinking about how fear doesn't always make you a coward, and Kevy, oh Kevy...is the perfect example of that. I don't even remember what happened in cannon or EC at this point so I'm just imagining Jean finding Kevin in the locker room or something and idk falling to his knees in front of him, whispering in French.

"What have they done to you?" and Kevin, ever the perfect piece of property goes

"It was my fault. My fault. I did this. I made him do this." and Jean knows what Riko sounds like. Knows how Riko's words sound when they're forced past Kevin's teeth, but he knows the pain of ignoring them too, of deviating from the script given to them by their Master. And then he looks down again, and he sees so, much, blood. They will kill him. He thinks. He knows. He knows. And as much as he hates Kevin for being number 2, for having the illusion of privilege in this rotted basement, he loves him more. This is the boy he taught French to. This is the boy who whispered corrections to him in the hallway, who pushed him just enough on the court to keep his coveted 3, who tried time and time again to distract Riko from his own maniacal decline. It didn't work. They knew it wouldn't. This is the boy who made him promise to stay. Made him promise to stay alive and showed him every day how to be brave. How surviving every hour made him braver, stronger, truer, than anyone on their court.

"You must leave. Now." And the words were rushed from his lips but he could only see the blood as he said over and over again, maintenant, maintenant, maintenant Kevin. S'il te plait. And Kevin, Kevin who never imagined that this could be his life, who knew only the Court and Exy and Riko, Riko, Riko, shook his head so furiously his vision swam. It was the blood loss, he thought, distantly.

"You cannot play." The words were nothing, it was the truth of them that cut Kevin to the bone. If he couldn't play, he was nothing. He was hardly anything to begin with, not with Riko standing before him, but now? Kevin opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came. Jean, for the first time in a long time, touched his face. Cupped his cheeks and pulled his eyes to his.

"They will kill you. You must go." But Kevin was already shaking his head, already shivering, already crying. His good hand clutched at Jean's forearm, reveling in the warmth. How could someone be so warm in a place this cold, he wondered. But it was Jean. Jean had always been brilliant.

"I can't." And the words were choked from him, and his vision was swimming but Jean was there, holding him up, holding him.

"Two years ago I made you a promise." Jean was quiet now, speaking the words into the scant space between them.

"You made me promise to never take myself away from you. To stay alive." Kevin breathed, and clutched Jean's arm tighter, fighting away the memory of that night, of all the blood.

"You must promise me the same Kevin. Do not take yourself away from me."

"I can't."

"You must." then, quieter, foreheads touching, noses bumping, lips a hair's breadth away. "Leave." Jean breathed in the scent of him, the salt from his tears and the metallic tang of his blood, and even deeper than that, the clovers and the pine and the cinnamon. He looked in his eyes, the greenest things he'd ever since since coming down to this place, and knew it would be the last time. Another breath, just one more, and then,

"Partir."

[hum-suffer]

Can you write a piece on the relationship between Nakula and Sahadeva? Pretty please 🥺

These are the kind of anons I live for!!!!! Thank you for the ask, and sorry for being so late! I hope you like this

Scars, blood and flesh.

The first scar Sahadev ever has is from Nakul.

It's not a big scar, it's barely the size of half a fingertip, but it's there. Right on the bridge of his nose.

It happens when Sahadev and Nakul are sparring, Sahadev has been asking for Nakul to convince their father to take him to the forest the next time they go to collect fruits and Nakul is tired of hearing the same thing over and over again and for a heartbeat, he forgets himself and pushes too hard and the wood of his lathi breaks skin, instead of resting there in warning.

Sahadev doesn't cry. It's a surprise, considering that he's only five years old, but the boy doesn't weep or wail. The tears fall from his eyes in reaction but he doesn't show the pain.

Madri twists Nakul's ear and yells at him, telling him that he's a coward and he's stupid for hitting his younger brother even in sparring. Kunti tries to hold her back as Pandu tends to Sahadev's nose, Yuddhishthir standing in the tow. Sahadev waves away all of his brothers and climbs in Pandu's lap as Madri yells at Nakul,"He's your brother! Your blood! And he's the youngest of the lot of you and as an elder brother, you should be protecting him from harm, not harming him! Whatever harms him is your enemy!"

Nakul sighs and doesn't reply back to her, bowing his head to show that he's sorry.

Later, when everyone else has gone to sleep, Sahadev turns on his side to find Nakul sitting up, sniffling softly and holding his arms to chest in a pseudo hug, nails digging into his own biceps.

Sahadev sits up too. Nakul seems startled by the moment but quickly wipes away at his eyes and tries to smile at his little twin. "Why are you awake so, Sahadev?"

Sahadev blinks at Nakul. "You're awake."

It seems that the younger one doesn't care to elaborate and that is the answer to Nakul's question. Something softer blows up in his chest like a bubble and Nakul turns his head away.

Sahadev pokes his shoulder. "Do you sometimes wonder if we, as people, have a free will or are we just puppets to the wish of Prajapati, with our karm phal sprinkled in our fate?"

"Sahadev, what are you even talking about?"

"Well, you aren't talking about what you want. I thought that I may talk about what I want." The cheerfulness leaves his and Sahadev smiles softly at his brother. "Talk to me, twin. What are you thinking?"

The tears come back again in Nakul's eyes and he cannot look away from Sahadev's eyes, the stars in his big eyes. Nakul will forever be a slave to Sahadev's eyes.

"I'm sorry, Sahadev. I did not intend to hurt you. I lost control of myself. I should not have, I am aware, and I will definitely work better but, please, forgive me." His voice starts cracking halfway through and Sahadev leans on his shoulder, closing his eyes.

"I forgive you, Nakul." He says, voice soft. "I know you would never wish to hurt me. Accidents happen. For that matter, I am also sorry that Mata yelled at you so much."

Nakul shakes his head. "I did deserve it."

Sahadev doesn't deny it.

They fall asleep, Sahadev's nose pressed onto Nakul's shoulder and Nakul's arm around his own shoulders.

Two weeks later, they both realise that the marks on their skin will not go away. Sahadev's nose has a tiny darker patch of skin and Nakul's biceps have crescent shaped scars that are almost invisible unless inspected closely.

»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»

The day Madri and Pandu die, Yudhishthir tries to hold Nakul to his chest and console him but Nakul kneels over and sobs, hitting the ground in his frustration and never realising that he's drawing blood, not until he hears Sahadev throwing up somewhere in the corner and real life comes back to him.

The stain of red blood on his saffron clothes makes him freeze for a moment but he pushes away Kunti and rushes over to Sahadev, who starts to sway dizzily. Nakul is not strong enough, he cannot hold his twin in his hands like this when Sahadev is falling over and they both fall over backwards. Nakul tries to protect his twin— he couldn't protect his mother, his father, he has to protect his remaining family, he has to take care of his little twin— but he fails.

Sahadev lands on a patch of rock and grunts, one of the sharper rocks having broken his skin and formed a cut on his side.

Fascinatingly, Nakul stares at his hand and Sahadev's side and their blood is the same and he knows it, intellectually, hes always known it, but seeing it, at this moment, has Nakul gasping for air.

Their blood is the same. Nakul spilt Sahadev's blood too. Sahadev is coloured in Nakul's blood too. They are the only two people in the world who are the sons of Madri and Pandu, born with the blessings of the Ashwini Kumars.

"Twin," Sahadev mumbles senseless as their brothers crowd around them and bring them water. "We are the same."

Nakul can't help but agree in dizziness.

»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»

The thing about Sahadev's anger is that it's rare, but it's absolutely destructive. Nakul is more likely to snap and snarl at the smallest of things, but Sahadev let's his anger build, shimmer and dance under his skin, scratching the surface every so often.

The first time that Sahadev shouts in front of their family is when Yudhishthir accepts the invite to the Dhyut Sabha.

"Oh, don't give me that!" Sahadev says, strangely condescending,"All of us, our personal servants, our clothes, our chariots, Krishnaa's palquin, the children, their clothes— we have to travel all of that to Hastinapur for a two day stay and come back with all of that? Do you remember how far it is? And Krishnaa has just delivered a child, so has Bhabhishri Shubhadra and Bhabhishri Karenumati, are we really going to leave the state without an emperor just for Dhyut?"

"It's family we are talking about, Sahadev," Yudhishthir tries to speak in that soft tone he's always used for Sahadev only. In some ways, Sahadev is somewhat a child of Yuddhishthir's, the youngest of the brothers. He always has a soft spot. "You must never abandon your family."

Sahadev steps back incredulously. "They abandoned us! Left us to die! Hell, they even tried to kill us! Is that not enough for you, jyeshth?"

Nakul steps forward and wraps his hand around Sahadev's bicep, yanking him back to make him look into Nakul's eyes. "I understand your distress, twin, but enough. Remember yourself."

Sahadev stares at Nakul for a moment, eyes darting all over his face before he yanks his hand back and stumbles back. "My family is not formed of blood, twin. It is formed of tears. And between us, we all shed tears because of them. They did not sympathise with us nor did they do justice by us."

"For Pitamah," Arjun tries to say, "We need to go there to meet him. He hasn't seen his great grandsons."

"Call him here!" Sahadev throws his hands up. "I'll set the room for him by my own hands, hell, I'll go there to escort him here. We live in separate states now, we share no roof with them, stop trying to share our happiness with them! Did they care before insulting our mother or our wife?"

Sahadev doesn't realise he is shaking until Nakul wraps his arms around him, tightly enough that his chest hurts while breathing. Sahadev scratches at his twin in futile effort to make him let go but Nakul holds him fast and close.

He doesn't realise what happens after that, but Nakul is slowly lowering them both to the floor, the glittering red makes it look like they're both kneeling in a lake of blood.

Nakul rocks him back and forth, a hand caressing his hair in a way that hasn't been done in years. Sahadev doesn't remember the last time Nakul raked his fingers through his hair like this. Perhaps before their marriage to Krishnaa. Or before that.

"We are the same, twin," Nakul says as he feels Sahadev sag against him. "One and the same. Tell me. Tell me."

Sahadev feels his hands, previously scratching at Nakul, fall to his sides. "They don't love us. Pitamah keeps comparing jyesth to Pita Shri and it has made jyesth want for the need of his approval, to show that he will never be what Maharaj Pandu was and he will never leave his family." He looks up at his elder brother helplessly. "But we are his family. They're demons, in the guise of family. They will only stop when we are dead. We had our escape, we have our Kingdom now. We can leave. We are allowed. This little piece of happiness. We are allowed to be safe. I don't want to be another Maharaj Pandu. I don't want to leave my children behind to wail for me."

And. That's it.

Their brothers may understand what Sahadev says, but they cannot feel it. Nakul does. Sahadev's nail scratches leave some barely there scars on his sides and back and they burn in the air but Nakul gathers his younger brother in his arms and stays.

Yudhishthir may think of Sahadev as somewhat of his child, but it is not secret that Nakul has always been exactly what Sahadev has needed. And sometimes, the difference between them is much more than minutes and Nakul feels as though he is embracing his child, as Sahadev's head lays on his chest and red eyes look up at him in hopes that he will advocate on Sahadev's behalf and get him what he wants.

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When they are walking up the mountain and Sahadev falls, Nakul is instantly on his knees.

No warrior has been able to bring the son of Madri to his knees, and yet, as his twin doesn't open his eyes, Nakul knees on the white snow and wails. He's begging— to anyone who is listening, his brothers, his wife, gods, demons— he's begging for his twin to at least stay with him a little bit longer.

Sahadev looks old in death, Nakul thinks numbly. The grey in his hair is starker, the wrinkles more prominent. The scar on his nose is still highlighted.

Nakul has lost everything. Father, mother, step mother, other blood relatives, his own son, nephews, his position, power, everything. And yet, the void in him has never been emptier as it is now, when Sahadev's chest is no longer rising and falling.

He has never lived in a world where he has to walk away from his twin.

And perhaps that is the reason, that barely five feet away, Nakul falls down, too. And perhaps that is also the reason, that instead of snow, he feels his twin's arms welcoming him to death.