#gwen deserved someone to love her the way lancelot did

[justaz]

merlin convincing morgana to remain in camelot and bonding over magic. uther dies and arthur becomes king and merlin and morgana are eager for arthur to repeal the ban but it never happens. then arthur and gwen are courting and morgana and merlin are a bit upset but are happy for them (sorta) but mainly they’re waiting for the ban to be repealed. it never happens. then gwen and arthur get married and morgana and gwen (+ lancelot) are devastated but hanging on by a thread for the magic ban to be repealed. it never happens. morgana is growing angrier and angrier while merlin is growing more and more reckless. morgana picks fights with arthur while merlin sticks to the shadows and protects arthur from unseen threats like always but he stops putting up much of a fight. he keeps coming back beaten black and blue, bloodied, on the brink of death.

morgana finally snaps at merlin and is like “i’ve been waiting for the ban to be lifted like you promised it would be and nothings changed. i cannot stay in this kingdom and watch the love of my life be happy with my brother while hiding myself away! you can be fine with the lying and hiding but i’m done! i’ll make my own damn happy ending” and storms off to flee camelot. lancelot finds merlin and they talk about it and lancelot is like “honestly, she has a point. i’m in love with gwen and that’ll never change. it pains me to see them so happy even though i wish nothing but the best for them. the only reason i’m still in camelot is you, merlin. if you want to stay, i’ll stay with you. if you want to go, then we’ll go.” merlin unsure and lance goes “it was you and me in the beginning, it can be you and me again” and merlin tears up but is still unsure and lance compromises with “we don’t have to leave forever. just a month or two, a year or five. however long you need.”

merlin finally agrees and lancelot goes to pack while merlin finds gwaine and tells him his plan bc if he doesn’t tell gwaine then the man will hunt him down like a bloodhound. gwaine ofc immediately agrees to go with him and they all pack their things. merlin shuffles into arthur’s chambers and turns in his resignation from his service and arthur starts freaking out like “wait what?? what’s wrong?? what happened??? let me fix it. was it a nobleman? a knight? was it me?? please tell me it wasn’t me. what happened??” and merlin can’t handle it so he just restates that he’s resigning, bows and says it was somewhat of an honor, and then turns and leaves. he finds lance and gwaine in gaius’s chambers with mordred. merlin rolls his eyes but is also kinda grateful for his friends. arthur storms in and finds three of his knights also packed at they’re like “oh shoot we were gonna tell you in the morning but since you’re here, we’re resigning too”

now arthur is faced with three less knights and one less manservant than an hour ago (he has yet to find out about his sister’s fleeing). he questions them again and the room gives merlin and arthur some privacy for merlin to tell arthur that nothing is wrong but that they just need some time away. it probably won’t be permanent but they have to leave. arthur isn’t begging because kings don’t beg but he’s doing a damn good impression and merlin is on the verge of tears again and is begging arthur not to make things harder than it needs to be. arthur grows angrier now and is like “then tell me why. why are you leaving? why are my knights leaving? tell me.” and merlin can’t think of an excuse bc he doesn’t want to push his troubles of unreciprocated love onto arthur so he just stands there and arthur is like “i thought you were one of the bravest men i ever met. turns our you’re nothing more than a coward.” anyways they split on bad terms.

merlin, lancelot, gwaine, and mordred leave camelot and have their own little adventures and run into morgana again and they form their own little band of travelers. arthur, gwen, leon, elyan, and percival are still in camelot with gwen and arthur completely in the dark while the rest of the knights Know. it’s like a few months after merlin and them left and arthur and them are drunk and he brings merlin and them up and asks what happened. the knights are quiet and gwen sits up and asks elyan and her voice is desperate enough that elyan breaks and goes “morgana and lancelot were in love with you” and they all just stare at each other and elyan rushes to fill the silence with stuff like how they wanted gwen to be happy but couldn’t bear watching gwen and arthur be so in love all the time, he explains that morgana left on her own but lancelot followed merlin. arthur asks if merlin was in love with gwen too and the knights shift before percival goes “no, he was in love with you” and leon sighs before explaining the rest.

“morgana and lancelot were in love with gwen while merlin was in love with arthur. morgana left on her own and merlin was influenced by her choice to leave and lancelot and gwaine followed him. mordred followed both morgana and merlin, i’m not sure what he would’ve done had merlin stayed and morgana left. gwaine followed merlin bc he’s in love with him.” he rubs his eye bc he can’t believe the mess things are even though it’s been this way for years “morgana couldn’t stand it. lancelot was loyal to merlin. gwaine was loyal to merlin. mordred was loyal to merlin and morgana. and merlin…merlin has been protecting you for years, arthur. he’s charged into battle against the threats you can’t see, the ones in the shadows. i’ve kept an eye on him since he got here but he’s had it handled. but recently, after your wedding, he grew reckless. he came back from every fight beaten like a pulp. he stopped trying. not to let you die, but to let them get the upper hand over him. he was dancing with death. it wasn’t healthy for any of them. that’s why they left.”

the knights leave arthur and gwen in their chambers to stew in silence, drunk and guilty and missing their friends and wondering how they could’ve missed the signs. merlin and them on the other hand are traveling from town to town, village to village, kingdom to kingdom and protecting villages from raiders, protecting druids from raids, stepping in on executions and freeing sorcerers.

[hmsharmony]

5. 10. 19.

Apologies in advance for this having nothing to do with Spider-Man until 19. 😬

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

Merlin/Arthur how I loathe thee. The racism and misogyny I had to witness (e.g., petition to replace Angel with Colin when she was scheduled to do an interview with Bradley). I began the show shipping everyone in the core four (although Arthur/Gwen was my OTP), but the treatment of Gwen by many Merthur shippers soured me on the ship. The final nail in the coffin was when a friend, an Arthur/Merlin shipper, found out I shipped Arthur/Gwen and expressed disgust. Fuck that.

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

The one that immediately comes to mind (which will not come as a shock to anyone who was around in 2011/2012) is Merlin’s “Gwen is enchanted to kiss zombie!Lancelot the night of her wedding, Arthur finds them, and he banishes her from Camelot on pain of death because ‘I don’t want to see you dead but I don’t want to see you.’”

A few things that fill me with rage to this day:

zero agency for Gwen (who never finds out she was enchanted the actual fuck!!!);

Arthur using his power as king to deal with a personal issue;*

Gwen going through literal hell on her own (taken captive and visuals/language making clear her captor plans to sexually assault her; escaping when she discovers her captor is working with Morgana and they plan to harm Camelot so even though she can’t return ON PAIN OF DEATH she makes her way back anyway; almost freezing to death during said journey; getting chased down by Morgana, who knocks her out and turns her into a DEER while Arthur is going on a hunting party with a prospective bride; said woman SHOOTING DEER GWEN WITH AN ARROW)

Gwen saying she has what she deserves when she tells Merlin she can’t return to Camelot because she betrayed Arthur;

Arthur finding her ring in the middle of the forest and not wondering WHY it was there or if she’s okay; and

an underwhelming resolution where everything is swept under the rug and they IMMEDIATELY GET MARRIED DESPITE THERE CLEARLY BEING MAJOR TRUST ISSUES AND GWEN MOST DEFINITELY HAVING PTSD WHAT ARE YOU DOING

(Bonus Gwen saying she can’t forgive herself and Arthur saying he doesn’t care I am still livid and it has been more than a decade let Gwen have negative feelings!!!)

Took me literal years to love that ship again because of this storyline.

*It would have been much more interesting if it had been framed as “it’s either saving the woman you love or upholding the law” like they did in Camelot. The show (claimed) to be in large part about how Arthur would create a new, fair Camelot (lmao). They missed a perfect chance to have him wrestle with what that means and the sort of king he wanted to be. I kind of played with that in the spec fic I wrote for 4x09, but to this day I want so much more.

19. What is one thing you hate most about your fandom?

I want to preface this by saying that, because of previous fandom experiences (including the infamous Harry Potter ship wars during my formative years), I was careful to cultivate my Spider-Man fandom experience from the get-go. My first couple years I literally only talked to existing friends who also loved PeterMJ (save for one fanvid I made in late 2019, but really I was just thanking people for commenting). It’s only in the past ~year I started interacting with new people, and even then I’m still very careful about expanding my bubble. So I’ve insulated myself pretty well, and I mostly have only secondhand knowledge of the horrendous side of this fandom (versus my merlin days where I would explore outside my bubble and see so much fucked up shit, usually of the racism variety).

With that out of the way: this is so minor in the scheme of things, but whenever someone calls MCU PeterMJ a slow burn I want to rip my face off. I love these kids but what they had was the exact opposite of a slow burn. And it’s not because it was done in one movie—When Harry Met Sally is 100% a slow burn in my book, and yes, the focus is that relationship, but there WERE things homecoming or far from home could have done. Not putting in the work to establish an existing relationship and instead going straight to Peter liking her is not a slow burn. (Now the way they hinted at MJ’s feelings in Homecoming? That was slow burn potential. Would’ve killed for something similar for Peter. And I say this as someone who had the biggest goddamn smile on her face everything they interacted when I first saw Far From Home.)

Salty Ask Game

[dragoon-the-greatest]

Okay, I see Lancelot is getting a lot of love here. Which, fair. Lancelot deserves all the love. This is just very interesting because in all honesty he would have been my last choice. Not because he wouldn't have been good for Merlin, but really, any of these people would have been good for Merlin. The thing that Will, Freya, and Balinor have going for them that Lancelot doesn't is that they all (at least to Arthur's knowledge) have magic of some sort. If one of them came back and started regularly showing up in Camelot to hang out with his manservant, Arthur would have been forced into a decision about Camelot's magic laws simply because of their magical existence in conjunction with their closeness to Merlin.

The thing about Arthur is that (bless his heart) he isn't much of a philosopher. Arthur doesn't contemplate changes to the kingdom in hypotheticals, he sees an injustice happening to someone in real time and he does his best to fix it. Sometimes this results in lasting change in the kingdom, but usually only when it affects someone he sees regularly. There are a few examples, but I'll give Lancelot some love for now.

Lancelot changed Arthur's mind about the law forbidding commoners from becoming knights, but he didn't do it by verbally persuading him. He did it through his very existence: his situation of being a good man who was clearly knight material with or without a seal of nobility. As far as we know, Arthur never questioned this law until he met Lancelot; once he did, he noticed the injustice, thought about how it affected good people who could help the kingdom, and then eventually changed the law once he was in a position to do so.

Lancelot helped Arthur into his Season 4 self and helped him to confront his prejudice about class differences (in part, at least), but I think there is very little Lancelot could have done to help Arthur confront his prejudice on magic, which was the biggest contributing factor to his fate (based on the Disir episode).

If Will showed up, Arthur would be forced to confront the truth he shoved under the metaphorical mat in season one: that sorcerers are capable of noble, selfless acts and that there are perfectly ordinary sorcerers out there who are just trying to live their lives. Will, a man who Arthur believed had magic, literally died for Arthur and Arthur ignored all the potential lessons from that. He wouldn't be able to ignore it anymore if he showed up again. (And of course, it's Will. There are a lot of things Arthur does that he wouldn't be able to ignore if Will was around to say something about it).

We don't know the extent of Freya's magic outside of the curse, but we know she was a druid. For all that Arthur promised change for the druid people, we don't see Arthur actually following through on this in any way that was actually meaningful. Maybe he stopped actively hunting them, but that is clearly not the same thing as accepting them as part of the kingdom. If he were to interact with Freya and learn more about her story (especially if her reappearance ended up with her being to Merlin what Gwen was to him), he would be forced to think about the druids more consistently and humanely. He always wanted Merlin to be happy; if Merlin's partner was someone who was actively hunted all her life and who was still negatively affected by these laws, then things would have gotten a lot more personal and a lot more real to him.

Obviously Balinor would make Arthur think, whether or not he learned that he was Merlin's father. If Arthur learned of Balinor's story (depending on whether he believed it) he would have to think about the injustice with which Uther dealt with people with magic and about the legacy he is carrying on and reflecting with his own actions. Even if he didn't believe it, Arthur would still have food for thought. He didn't see anything wrong with seeking out Balinor when he was needed; as far as we know, Balinor was a neutral force of magic for Arthur, which is definitely an example Arthur could have benefited more from in his life.

Loathe as I am to make a poll about Merlin's loved ones about Arthur, I think we can all agree Merlin would have been 1000x better off with any of these people in his life again and choosing just one is a little impossible and painful. But anyway, all that's just my two cents. Two days left to vote, do what you will!

Imagine.

Post season 4, the triple goddess sees that on his current track, Merlin is never going to help Arthur create the golden age without a little bit of extra help. She decides to send back one departed loved one to help Merlin avoid the ending of season 5.

[thenerdyindividual]

The dark!Gwen story line is pretty contentious among fans but I think it was a clever plot point for a few different reasons.

First of all it was a great way to keep Gwen involved with the show. Of course the writers did go off the rails when it came to using the legends as source material but unfortunately in the source material, once Arthur married Guinevere there wasn’t all that much done with her except for the addition of the Guinevere and Lancelot affair. And as much as we like to yell that Lancelot deserved better, the way they handled the infidelity was so well done. They couldn’t leave it out because even people who know nothing about Arthurian Legends know about that affair and they had leaned lightly into the love triangle in previous seasons , but going with the full affair would’ve ruined the love we had for Gwen and Lancelot. (And there is something icky about utilizing that affair when this Guinevere was a woman of color.) Getting that storyline over and done with with no one at fault except for Morgana was really clever, but it did burn through the most well known aspect of Guinevere in the source material. Their other option would have been to go with Gwen and Arthur having a child but it would have drawn sharply away from the story (tragedy) the writers were attempting to tell. It would have put all the focus on that child and not on Mordred and Arthur, the main thrust of that season. Also on a personal note, I’ve never seen a show that introduced a child as a plot point successfully. So with all that in mind, I think having mind controlled Gwen was a great way to keep her involved with the story without turning the show inside out to accommodate an affair or motherhood that wouldn’t have fit.

Second of all I think it was a smart way to show how much Morgana’s gifts have grown without having to focus on her doing a bunch of heinous things. Dark!Gwen is the second time we’ve seen Morgana mind control someone. When she controlled Merlin, she could barely get him to go through with his attempts and to keep her spell active she has to use a creature with its own magic to help her. By the time she controls Gwen, her ritual is far more advanced and difficult to pull off. It also holds far better than Merlin’s did. It doesn’t just control Gwen to get her to kill Arthur, she controls Gwen to make elaborate and fairly effective plans to burn Camelot down. The spell also lasts at a massive distance and for a good long time. We get to see that massive progression without taking screen time from Gwen or from Mordred and Arthur’s story line.

Lastly, on a less meta note, it was clear Angel Colby had a hell of a lot of fun doing it and it showed off her acting skills. Seriously look at gifs where she is being dark!Gwen and where she is being regular Gwen. Her body language is so different.

[weakforarwen]

What Gwen has so special in her? She doesn't fit with Arthur like she fits with Lancelot. Even Morgana has more a complex deep who fit with Arthur.

??? What's so special about Gwen? What's so special about Arthur? Or Lancelot? Or Morgana?

If two men like the same woman, she must be "special", is that it? Can't two men just like the same woman? Does she need to be a certain way to "deserve" the attention of multiple men? Do you like people because they're "special"?

And what's so special about Gwen? How about, everything. She's incredibly brave, outspoken, kind, compassionate, resourceful, intelligent, loyal, selfless, cute, lovable, graceful.

She was just a servant (and a woman), yet she defied Arthur, the prince, and made him see that women had the right to fight for their own lives just as much as men, and did not deserve to be treated like children. She also told Arthur - who was, again, the prince - to appreciate the food that was offered to him, since food is precious to most people.

Later, she berated Arthur - still the prince - for being ungrateful and behaving as if he owned her place, and reminded him to say "thank you" and "please". She also reminded him that he wasn't a child who needed to be told right from wrong - she held him accountable. Gwen's candidness is a quality Arthur deeply values and depends on.

Do you know how brave one needs to be to speak that way to a prince? Even if she knew Arthur wasn't arrogant and cruel like his father, she still took a risk speaking her mind.

Furthermore, she even told cruel, elitist, Uther that "someone like him" wouldn't understand love, and accused him of executing a "good and innocent" man - her father.

She also stood up to Agravaine, another pompous asshole, and argued for the lives of the poor citizens of Camelot who he would leave to die. She was smart in how she did it too. Not only is Gwen outspoken, she's also well-spoken, and knows how to work people.

Other examples of her being brave and selfless:

She risked her life getting fresh water for the sick when the dragon was wrecking havoc on Camelot. She threw herself at Arthur to save him. She faced Lumia to save Merlin. She risked her life lying to Morgana and conspiring against her to release Sir Leon from prison - she used what she learned from her father to make a copy of the key to the prison cells; said key was being kept in Morgause's room. Even though she's not a fighter, she fearlessly joined Arthur and Merlin on many life-threatening adventures. She survived, alone, her banishment from Camelot. She nursed Uther - the man who killed her father - because he was Arthur's father. In the face of her execution, she only asked that Merlin looked after Arthur.

Clearly, Gwen is as compassionate and forgiving as she is brave and strong.

Gwen is very special. But you don't have to be special to deserve being loved unconditionally.

And why do you think she fits with Lancelot? They had two episodes together and Lancelot ran off both times because he was insecure. They didn't have a relationship, and Gwen deserved better than someone who liked her but always left her alone because he didn't believe in himself - no offense to Lancelot.

Gwen and Arthur are very compatible. They both love Camelot more than anything, and would sacrifice anything for its people; they would do anything for their loved ones, and they love unconditionally. Above anything, they're loyal.

They're brave too, and not just for facing anything that comes their way. They're brave enough to follow their hearts and reject ridiculous customs (ie. a servant isn't just a servant, everyone's equal; people should be able to marry for love; a King needs to choose his own path and not follow in someone else's footsteps, etc.).

They're forgiving and merciful (Gwen with Uther, Arthur with Gwen).

A very important trait they share is that, at heart, they're both hopeful and optimistic people (unlike Lancelot, who was always very serious and self-defeating). No matter what happened, Gwen and Arthur were never down for long. They both lost their parents - and, eventually, their remaining family - and were betrayed by those closest to them (Morgana, for example), yet, they never once grew bitter and resentful, or stopped believing in people. They just kept going and fighting for the people of Camelot. They're eternally optimistic and resilient.

They're also responsible people who take pride in performing their jobs well, but still know how to be playful and easy-going.

They are so alike, and maybe you don't see it because you haven't been paying enough attention, or because you don't know the whole story yet.

Also, Morgana is "complex" in what way? Surely not after season 2. And you really don't want her anywhere near Arthur.

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

The former God of Magic resents The Mother for sticking him on Earth, and plans on causing as much havoc as he can to punish Her;

Version 2, Dark!Merlin

INTRO

(Version 1, Good!Merlin)

TW: A lot of emotional manipulation, a little violence, a lot of angst.

~

“You’re late.”

The woman’s well practiced blank mask falls into a scowl as she stares at Merlin with mistrust:

“Well, perhaps I was putting off coming to see you, no matter how necessary it is.”

The gang can see the bob of Merlin’s head as he lets out a low chuckle, and they have to stop themselves from recoiling; they’d never heard a noise like that from their young friend before, it sounded almost... cruel.

He lifts a hand to cover his heart as he says in faux offense:

“You wound me, sister. You didn’t want to see your favourite sibling?”

Everyone frowns in confusion, Merlin doesn’t have... siblings. That’s not even mentioning the fact that this woman barely seems human.

The woman doesn’t hide her slight disgust, taking a step back from Merlin and letting out a harsh breath:

“I came here to tell you that you need to hurry up. Time is running out.”

Merlin chuckles again, turning to the side and taking a few short paces, his hands held leisurely behind his back. The amusement on his face is disturbing, and Arthur gulps, not noticing the way Mordred is growing paler and paler by the second. Merlin doesn’t turn to look at the woman as he speaks, and his smirk stretches wider:

“But I’m having so much fun, Ava!”

The woman, Ava, huffs again, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest. If the gang weren’t so semi-sure that Merlin wasn’t dangerous, they’d think she looked scared:

“Mother sent you here to complete a task. Get it done, and you can come home. Isn’t that what you want? To come home?”

Merlin’s smirk falls, and the snarl that the gang briefly see on his face before he whips around to face Ava takes their breath away. They barely notice the thunder, snapping in the distance in time with Merlin’s anger:

“Mother’s the one keeping me here in the first place. She could accept me back any time.”

Ava takes another step back, and Merlin tilts his head ever so slightly at the movement, but waits for her to speak:

“As punishment for your cruelty. She isn’t happy, you’re making a mess of things.”

Merlin chuckles again, tilting his head even further, and his words have an immediate chilling effect on the group hiding in the bushes:

“Well, if she insists on sending the God of Chaos to fix a problem, perhaps she should expect a little mess. Plus, I’m having more fun here than I’ve had in centuries. These humans... so gullible.-”

Ava shakes her head mournfully, but before she can say anything, Merlin continues, now pacing calmly around the clearing, waving his hands and grinning in his excitement:

“-I mean, they’re just so... easy. To play with, to manipulate. You know they all trust me? They all come running to naïve, innocent, loving little Merlin, spilling all their secrets as they go. Did you know, the drunkard is the son of a noble? “Fuck nobility” my arse, he is nobility.-”

Gwaine clenches his jaw and looks to the floor, ignoring the stares of Arthur and Leon, but before anything can be muttered, Merlin continues, listing their greatest secrets off on his fingers:

“-The gentle giant is terrified that someone’s going to find out that his preferences lie with men, which is ridiculous considering the way he stares at the aforementioned drunkard when he thinks no one but little old me is watching. The blacksmith, even years on, is terrified that his whore sister will never forgive him for... something or other, I wasn’t really paying attention. Camelot’s first, The King’s most trusted, has a debilitating fear of heights, and oh if it isn’t just hilarious to watch when he has to patrol the city walls. And then, there’s the-”

Ava rolls her mournful eyes and interrupts him:

“Your point, Em?”

Merlin laughs, fully and from the belly, but the sound doesn’t bring the gang joy like it normally does:

“My point, is that I’ve got these idiots wrapped around my finger. Mortals: the universe’s most fun toy. I haven’t even gotten to half of them yet. There’s the noble one, who thinks he holds my trust, the Druid boy, whose only redeeming feature is that he’s destined to kill the King Prat one day; believe me, if it weren’t for that I’d have killed the annoying little twerp years ago. Then there’s the King Prat’s magical sister, who is full of such terror. I play with her dreams some nights, force visions of pyres and hatred and destruction to play over and over in her mind. It’s rather amusing, watching her thrash and sweat and whimper in her sleep.-”

Arthur’s head had whipped around to Morgana when Merlin had mentioned her, but the tears streaming down her face and the way her hand was clamped tightly over her mouth stripped his anger from him. Which left him with no distraction, no way to ignore the simple fact of what was happening right now. Merlin was... not what they thought. He was powerful, he was using them. He was playing with them like puppets and pulling their strings this way and that, watching as they could do nothing but follow. Arthur didn’t know what to think, and he definitely didn’t notice the tears on his own cheeks.

Mordred was pale to the point of looking like he was about to faint and Lancelot had a deep frown on his face, tears in his eyes but not quite falling, not yet. This was... a misunderstanding. He... he knows Merlin, this is a trick, or a trap, he’ll explain later and everything will be just fine. He just has to... to trust him. Everything will be fine.

Gwaine keeps his gaze on the floor. A small part of him was feeling a little prideful that Percival liked him back, but the rest of him... had no room for anything but grief. He had suspected that Merlin had magic, but this was something else, this was... a whole new person. Did he ever really know Merlin? Did any of them? 

Elyan and Gwen sat pressed together tightly, though Gwen had one hand on Morgana’s shaking back, and her other was reaching around Elyan, gripping Leon’s shoulder tightly. Leon was just staring blankly at the scene in front of him, though anyone that knew him well enough would be able to see the tight clench of his jaw and the anger (and grief) in his eyes.

Ava interrupted Merlin’s gleeful ranting, the tears in her eyes a little more prominent as she took on a slightly more desperate tone:

“Please, Em, just... stop. They’re important, they have destinies, you can not destroy them or push them too far; this is cruel, even for you. This... you never used to be like this.”

Merlin turns around, facing away from his sister and giving the hidden group full view of his rage-filled face. His voice is quiet and clipped and angry as he asks:

“Oh?”

Another roll of thunder echoes through the clearing, closer this time, and fat droplets of rain fall harshly from the sky, mixing with the tears on everyone’s face. Ava sighs, tears overflowing as she gulps before answering, her voice shaking slightly as she takes a step towards Merlin:

“You’re meant to be the God of Magic, not Chaos. You were so... beautiful, balanced. You saw wonder in everything, every little spark of magic and every single prayer put a smile on your face. You loved humanity even more than Mother did. Now look at you, you’re tormenting them, torturing them. This isn’t you, Em, please. Help them, and things can go back to the way they were, help them and you can come home.”

The anger on Merlin’s face had only grown as she spoke, and each individual hidden in the bushes had to make a concerted effort to stop themselves from bolting. None of them had felt terror like it, and the fact that it was Merlin they were all so scared of... well, it didn’t help.

Lightening streaks across the sky and wind howls violently through the forest, calming only when Merlin shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath, straightening his back and smirking slightly before he replies, still not turning around to face his sister:

“You’re right. I loved humanity, I was desperate to see them succeed. And then they butchered me. I gave them this universe to frolic in, and in return they call me a monster, a beast, they call me evil, they make nightmares out of me. I still listen to every little prayer, and do you know what I hear? I hear my people, my wonderful little creations, my creatures of magic, begging for mercy, begging for the pain to stop. The humanity I so used to love turned on them, began to burn them, out of spite and fear and hatred. I will not show them any more grace than they have showed me, I will give them exactly what they deserve, and that blonde idiot is at the top of my list of people who have to fucking pay. I won’t destroy him entirely, because ultimately I want my creatures to stop suffering, but I will break him. I will rip him apart piece by piece for what he has done to me.-”

The absolute fury in Merlin’s words, the hatred, translates to thunder in the sky and agony in Arthur’s chest. The King can barely breathe, muffling the sobs tearing from his mouth with both hands, both terrified of being discovered, and desperate to... to let Merlin punish him for the pain he has caused.

Leon settles a shaking hand on his shoulder, but Arthur doesn’t look his way, his blurry gaze focused on Merlin, now finally turning back to his sister:

“-You know, I’m this close to getting that big blonde idiot to fall in love with me. How pathetic is that?? All it took was a few touches here, a few lingering stares there, saving his life occasionally. The man is so pathetically starved for attention I imagine he’d fall for anyone who showed him the barest amount of affection. That is how I will break him.-”

The only thing stopping Arthur from sobbing aloud is Leon collapsing behind him, pulling the young King back into his chest and wrapping a tight arm around his torso, one hand clamped over his mouth as he mutters desperate reassurances into his ear. Morgana pulls Gwen close in a similar way when the servant’s cries grow harsher, her brother burying his face in her shoulder.

Lancelot barely notices Gwaine gripping his arm hard enough to leave bruises for weeks, or Percival pushing his forehead into Lance’s shoulder blade. All he can do is sit and stare at the ground, his breathing slow but shaky, tears streaming silently down his face as he rethinks everything he’s ever known.

Mordred sits on his own, rocking back and forth rhythmically as he tightens the clutch he has around his knees. Tears drip from his young cheeks, poisoning the ground beneath him as he struggles to consider his faith. His faith in magic, in Emrys, who was meant to be balanced and beautiful and giving. Emrys, who he now knew was twisted and angry and desperate for revenge.

All of their hearts are splitting, cracking down the middle.

“-It won’t be physical pain, no, that’ll be down to the Druid boy. He doesn’t want to kill Arthur now, but he will, one day, when I give him one final push. He’ll fall so far into the darkness there’ll be nothing of him left to save, and when he plunges his sword into The Pendragon’s chest, I’ll sit back and watch with a smile on my face, and Arthur will realise that the man he loves, the man who claimed to love him in return, hated him all along. Tricked him. I will watch the life drain from his eyes, and he will spend his last few moments on this world in every kind of agony imaginable, lost in the knowledge that I wanted him to suffer, that he is being punished for his sins.”

Ava shakes her head, silver tears dripping from her emerald eyes as she stares at the floor:

“Are Sir Mordred and the Lady Morgana not your creatures? Do you not wish to save at least them?”

Merlin chuckles darkly:

“I had faith in them once, but they made their decisions. They sided with a Pendragon over me. Mother may be fond of her precious Once and Future King, but to be fair, she’s fond of anything with a pulse, and I, for one, can not wait until she’s not quite so fond of him anymore.”

Ava gulps, taking a desperate step towards her amused brother, but before she can say anything, before she can make one last plea for mercy on humanity’s behalf, Merlin tilts his head, smirking dangerously:

“Do you think they’re scared?”

She halts in her tracks, blinking in confusion, and Merlin’s smile grows into a chuckle as he gestures behind him:

“The King and all his little friends, hidden in the bushes. Do you think they’re scared?” 

The gang barely have time to look up in shock before their bodies are moving, out of their control. They stand rigidly and walk single-file out from their hiding place, coming to stand in a line at the side of the clearing. Merlin hasn’t even looked at them, but his hand floats in the air, a sickly looking yellow mist swirling around his fingers as he tilts his head at his sister, staring in horror at The King, the knights, the Lady, and the servant.

Merlin drops his hand and they all fall to their knees, not even bothering to be brave as they sob. The angry God finally turns, and the serene smile on his face is chilling as he walks towards them, coming to stand in front of Lance and Mordred first. The two of them are the calmest, though calm in the way that they don’t really look... present. They stare blankly ahead, breathing shallow and tears still falling as Merlin crouches in front of them, gripping a chin in each hand and shaking their heads roughly. His voice comes out a whisper, the frown on his face looking more disappointed than anything:

“So much faith, so much trust. It’s a little pitiful, if I’m being honest.”

They don’t react to his words and he smirks before letting them go and standing, moving on to Elyan and Gwen, gripping the knight’s shoulder and saying with mocking sympathy in his voice:

“You were right, by the way,-”

He glances at a fully sobbing Gwen with disgust:

“-she’ll never forgive you, but she’ll never tell you that. You’ll just spend the rest of your life wondering why your relationship was never the same.”

Next, he shuffles over to Gwaine, not even bothering to see the siblings’ reactions as he passes Leon and Percival with a look of disinterest on his face. He leans down in front of the knight, running a soft hand through his hair, waiting for the man to relax slightly before gripping his hair harshly and yanking back, so he has to look up at him. Merlin gives him a blindingly cruel smile:

“You're grateful that Percival is just as in love with you as you are with him, but don’t think yourself too lucky. You’re a hypocrite and a drunk, and my dear old Percy has too much self respect to put himself through that. I’d go for a good tumble in the hay and give up while you’re ahead.”

Once again, he moves back, his sister having to look away in her grief, her empathy drowning her. The God comes to stand in front of Morgana, who is desperately trying to look brave but failing miserably:

“And you. You’re meant to be The Darkness, but I couldn’t very well have you outdo me, could I? Try your hardest, I’ll still be the end of you, and I wait with baited breath for the day you fall, and the day soon after that, when I get to kill you.”

She break down in tears again at that, horrified with the idea that she might one day be on the same end of morality and cruelty as this monster in front of her.

Merlin smirks before rolling his eyes and finally coming to stand in front of Arthur. The King calms his breathing just enough to look up at a smirking Merlin, his voice cracking and barely-there as he mutters:

“Please... Merlin, please...”

The smirk drops from Merlin’s face as he brings his hand up, the sickly yellow mist back again. Arthur rises from the floor, hands clutching at his throat as the air is drawn from his lungs. Merlin steps closer to his with a snarl, his free hand gripping Arthur’s chin like a vice, though his voice eerily calm as he murmurs:

“You. You and Uther were so desperate for a scape-goat, for a villain, for a monster. And you picked magic, you picked me. So stop being so fucking pathetic, I’m just playing the part you gave me to perfection. You picked the premise, I’m writing the ending.”

Ava finally speaks up, her voice loud, despite the waver:

“Brother please, this is... this is beyond cruelty, please just stop.”

Arthur is dropped, and The King can barely find it in himself to choke for air as Merlin turns back to his sister, the amused smirk back on his face:

“Why? None of them are going to remember in the morning anyway. I’ve had my fun, this has been cathartic, but I can’t have them ruining my plans. So run along now sister, tell Mother that her precious task is being completed, I’m just taking the scenic route.” 

She shakes her head in defeat, staring at the floor. She lifts her head, opening her mouth to make one last attempt, but she closes it, realising that there’s nothing she could possibly say to persuade him to suddenly have mercy, mercy that no one had ever shown him. She gulps, letting out a deep breath before shaking her head again and turning around, walking back into the trees, the way she came.

The God looks back to his puppets, shivering in time with their knotted strings, smirking once more before he clicks his fingers and everything goes dark.

~

Arthur wakes the next morning feeling oddly refreshed and surprisingly unannoyed at his idiot manservant’s lateness. He rolls his eyes at the bright sunshine glaring through his curtains, the sun certainly a lot higher in the sky than it should be at the time The King wakes, but oh well. Merlin has been chipper lately, and the warmth that Arthur feels in his chest at the younger man’s happiness makes him more likely to forgive him his tardiness.

As if thinking of him had summoned him (wishful thinking on Arthur’s part), Merlin bursts through the doors, not bothering to knock as per usual, a breakfast-laden tray in his arms and a cheeky grin on his face. Arthur rolls his eyes again, chucking a pillow at Merlin half-heartedly as he grumbles, also half-heartedly:

“You’re late.”

Merlin chuckles, setting the tray down on the table before jogging endearingly over to Arthur’s bedside, grabbing his hand and pulling him to stand upright:

“Something tells me you don’t mind all that much, Your Pratness.”

Arthur huffs, but only to stop himself from smiling, and resolutely ignores the way Merlin’s hand is still in his. The servant squeezes his palm softly, and Arthur gulps, pulling away and walking towards his meal, hoping the food would squash the butterflies in his stomach.

He rubs the sleep from his eyes, smiling to himself softly at a whole range of things: the good night’s rest he’d had, the bright sunshine, Merlin’s good mood, the sensation of Merlin’s hand in his own, Merlin’s dazzling smile, Merlin, Merlin, Merlin...

Merlin stares at his back as he goes, noting with a dangerously satisfied smirk the red blush of his ears.

The scenic route indeed.

~

THE END!!

Oops I made myself sad. Sorry to say but I hope this makes you sad too.

This was SUPER fun to write and I’m so glad I decided to do two versions😅

Link to the Good!Merlin version (much MUCH fluffier, I promise) at the top!!

[we-pay-for-everything]

The Hunter’s Heart

Poor Gwen... Arthur’s living in luxury while Gwen, who’s as much of a victim of Morgana’s as Arthur (if not more so), is living in poverty. To hear her tell Merlin that she can’t see Arthur, that she deserves to be miserable and alone and on the run, is so sad. Women are always victimized and put through the wringer, especially women of color (*cough* Bonnie Bennett *cough*). 

I’m glad to see Merlin is somewhat back to normal though. He insisted on helping Gwen and had a hand in breaking up Arthur and Mithian’s engagement.

Speaking of Arthur... it was interesting watching him with Mithian. He was clearly taken aback by her beauty and loveliness, as was Merlin and everyone else, but something in his atitude betrayed his discomfort. He did everything right when courting Mithian, and even appeared to be smitten with her, but it’s obvious he wasn’t. When he kissed Mithian’s hand after bidding her goodnight and just stood there looking at her, I think his thoughts must’ve been a mix of “This could work, she’s lovely, I can make it work.” and “She’s not Guinevere. I don’t know who I am right now because she’s not Guinevere”. The way he looked at Mithian was as if he was struck by her or by the situation he found himself in was, like he was struck by the oddity of it all - of him proposing, willingly, to another woman. I think he must’ve felt so lost and unlike himself at that moment. He even proposed a picnic, as he’d done with Gwen - he was trying to force himself into loving Mithian.

I really liked the ring motif used in the episode. Gwen wore her engagement ring everyday for comfort, which was both sad and sweet, while Arthur reacted to the ring as if he’d been dealt a mortal blow. He mirrored Gwen by rubbing the ring between his fingers like a lifeline... He was never going to go through with the wedding, he’s too sincere. He talks a big game but can never force himself into doing something he doesn’t believe in, even if he had every reason to marry Mithian. He still wanted to marry for love though, and he could only ever love Gwen, so... He never needed Merlin’s advice on what to do. 

It’s cute how Arthur always asks Merlin for relationship advice (yet ignores his council otherwise...), but Merlin was right - Arthur already knew what to do. Still, he was in a difficult position. If he really believed Gwen had cheated on him, why would he take her back? Did he rationalize that Gwen had felt guilty for being the reason why Lancelot died, as well as overwhelmed with his return (as she explained to Arthur), so she’d kissed Lancelot but it had meant nothing? I wonder how he made sense of Gwen’s betrayal in his head, how he made peace with it. It’s very unsatisfying how he reconnected with Gwen. He decided to put it all behind him because he feared losing her and didn’t want to become a Tristan without his Isolde, but that isn’t a good enough reason imo... And Gwen, how did she come to terms with her actions? How did she forgive herself? They deserved so much better...

Also, curiously, Arthur asked Merlin how to find someone who didn’t want to be found, but what did he mean? Had he been searching for Gwen without any success? Had he asked his men to search the woods for Gwen after finding her necklace (which is why Camelot’s patrol almost found Merlin and Gwen)? How did he know she didn’t want to be found?  I assume Merlin told him nothing... So many questions, so little answers. 

Lastly, I liked the parallel between Arthur and Gwen: when Helios asked Gwen which family she came from - because he thought her worthy of being a princess - she answered she was “no one”; when Mithian asked Arthur who could trump a princess, and which family she came from, Arthur answered “no one... and everyone”. I like the different meanings his reply can have. It could mean that, to Arthur, “everyone” trumped the Princess because he would only marry for love, so it didn’t matter who Gwen was - she could be anyone, she could not exist at all and it would make no difference to him as he didn’t love the princess. At the same time, “no one” and “everyone” are technically opposites yet only exist in relation to something. Thus, Gwen being no one and everyone says nothing about who Gwen is, because it means she can be anything from no one to everyone - so, anything and anyone... Another possible meaning is that Gwen was “no one” in terms of status, or “no one” to someone like Mithian, yet “everyone” to Arthur, because Gwen was Camelot itself. Arthur himself said his kingdom meant nothing to him without Gwen, so there is no Camelot without Gwen - if Camelot is but a sum of its people, who are everyone, and Gwen precedes Camelot, than she too is everyone. Gwen is his Queen and all of Camelot are her subjects - she is everyone in Camelot. Also, it was Gwen, a servant, who taught Arthur that everyone is equal. Because of her, Arthur saw that no one was superior or inferior to anyone else, so everyone is one and the same and Gwen is no one and everyone. As a commoner, she is also everyone, as in, the average person. Finally, the most obvious meaning, is that Gwen was “no one”, just a servant girl, but to Arthur she was “everyone”, as in, everything - she was more important to him than everyone else. 

[donttouchtheneednoggle]

oh oh 💋 what I would v much like to ask is how do you see Arthur and gwens relationship progressing after "Selfish" (which no joke ive read about 15 times now) - like do you think theres any coming back from that for Arthur or do you think there'll always be a part of Gwen that was hurt by him and his behaviour?

Oh boy now I have to think actual thoughts... For you Will I will 😘

I just. By s5 Arthur is not an actual person. He’s been reset so many fucking times beyond the point of any reason, so I honestly don’t know any reasonable way to reconcile with him.

Like s1 him (beloved, actually) understood in ep 3 that not all magic deserved the same treatment. He was capable of that nuance. S2 Arthur is absolutely furious that his father used magic for his own means then turned around and condemned it. He understood that hypocrisy. 

But by s5 he has been written over so many times that though he has no excuse he is just treading water for eternity. God knows how one stands being married to that. So I genuinely don’t know how you would reconcile with him or how he could repent. If he realised how wrong he was why did it take literally five years to realise something he understood at eight years ago, and why is it Gwen’s responsibility to make him realise that? This man deadass ‘rescued’ someone from being burned to death as a very direct consequence of his own laws without a shred of self-awareness. Does he not think of the horrors he permits, just as long as they are out of his sight? This man who really genuinely does love his people so much but has such a humungous blind spot towards so many of them? He just straight up doesn’t make sense past like s3 if I’m being generous but remember that time he held a kid at swordpoint.

Every time I think of an Arthur Pendragon redemption scenario post s3 all I can think of is everyone he cares about ditching him until he comes around. Because why should they humour him and continue their unconditional loyalty when he never thinks to take their feelings into account but insists they tiptoe around his, and makes it quite clear their place in Camelot where everyone they love is is conditional on his feelings towards them because his loyalty is conditional? (case in point: Gwen’s banishment. Arthur sends her out into danger and homelessness away from everything that she knows and loves because it hurt him to look at her, and banned anyone from even mentioning her because he was heartbroken but when Merlin tried to voice his own feelings he got threatened, and the knights straight up asked Gaius to keep any suggestion of Elyan’s dissent from Arthur quite clearly out of fear of what he might do to him) 

A’snd why should they return once they’ve left him? They all love him dearly and once in a blue moon it’s clear why, but it’s just not nearly enough. All his friends who comes from a variety of fucked up childhoods are capable of basic reason and awareness of others feeling (don’t get me wrong no one in this story is simply good they’re all morally complex yes Merlin yes the knights yes even Gwen they’re all still part of this regime aren’t they alas the story relies on it. and besides anything they all have flaws and a lot of them can be complete twats sometimes dkfkgkh) but Arthur is just so goddamn selfish after so many chances I just don’t think he’s forgivable by s5. There’s only so many times he can fuck over the people he loves and get away with it.

And now bestie we shall veer wildly off track See the way I see it there are two realities in Merlin. There’s the reality the show mostly focuses on. The one that Selfish is mostly set in. The fantasy that Gwen and the knights live in, that everyone in Camelot does except Merlin and Gaius and Lancelot do (Lancelot gets a near total free pass on everything. Man did his best and stayed in the system to protect Merlin. You could argue he should’ve dragged Merlin away from all that bullshit but i digress. He’s the exception :)). Where morality comes down to being nice to people and like. Not killing anyone but bad guys. There’s very clearly good guys and bad guys. In the context of that, they’re all great. And that’s why they're so easy to love, because within this system it’s pretty simple: they’re wonderful people. And it’s fun! It’s so nice to write writing this fantasy, where these lovely people really are just lovely people and being a knight is just running around the woods having fun and getting stabbed as the whump requires. (and there’s literally nothing wrong with just writing within this ndsmfkgkflg not every fic has to be a fuckin moral crusade which is exactly why I like it who has the time)

Then there’s the wider context. When you zoom out and really see the whole story. That they all serve and participate in a system that committed a genocide and continues to perpetuate it. The writers try to dodge it as much as possible by just sending them on fun quests but the knights’ principle job is to hunt and arrest enemies of the state. A lot of whom are sorcerers who are tired of being oppressed and demonized as soon as they show anything but total passive acceptance of it. And the sorcerers do not have to have committed a crime to be arrested, as is confirmed in 5x05 where Osgar kills several knights trying to escape being arrested and executed for literally just existing as a known sorcerer. And what does Gwaine call him? A heretic and a murderer. The only way I can find to redeem any of them in canon is have them be part of an oppressed group themselves and just trying to survive like Merlin is. Even them having nothing against magic falls flat because then why then do they stay and do what they do, and with no protest too? They are self-aware! 

Obviously when Gwen was a servant she is not at all complicit she has no power over things and is just tryna like. Live. But she becomes queen. Yes because she loves Arthur but she still does. And she has a say in things and yet them go on the way they are. I get tired of people insisting Gwen is perfect and always completely innocent (you are doing her a disservice!!!!) and has nothing against magic. Like most of the knights her opinions on it are danced around and never really stated (which is ludicrous when this is meant to be the crux of the whole show). There’s no way she would become queen and not try to enact any change in four years if she believed it should happen (unless she was too afraid of what might happen to her if she suggested such a thing which is sadly  possible but opens up a whole other tin of Yikes). When she tells Sefa (her servant who she makes believe she’s going to die and uses her as bait to trap and kill her loved ones, sound familiar? FYRIEN.) that respect must be earned and cannot be bought with blood it is because she can afford that moral high ground. She can afford to preach nonviolence because her very existence is not outlawed. However much struggle she has to face as a servant turned queen and don’t get me wrong that is a very real and pressing thing that is neatly dodged around with the three year time gap, she has other powerful people protecting and backing her up and the option to rise above it and prove them wrong and if it comes to it she has the power to banish them. Magic users do not have that option when they’re being killed on sight and they certainly do not have that kind of power. The only power they do have is their magic used for violence. But as soon as they do they are evil criminals that now deserve to be executed. And as much as I love Gwen’s canon reaction to merlin’s magic I would not be pleased if I realised I’d been contributing to my best friend’s oppression for the last four years. (the magic ban is still largely Arthur’s fault don’t get me wrong. but the others are still complicit.)

It just doesn’t make sense. To establish how wonderful and kind and good these people are and yet not have them raise a single protest at how things are done. Yes they have grown up with the prejudice. Yes some of them have suffered as some consequence of magic. But to have that little nuance when they’ve met and been saved by and helped and protected good kind vulnerable people with or associated with magic who are the furthest thing from dangerous (Mordred, the ghost boy, the druids as a whole) evade the law that they uphold without ever once examining that core belief that magic is pure evil... It makes no sense. And they must believe it, because how else could they stand to remain in that system?

Which is why I dislike the prevailing idea that once Merlin’s magic is revealed everyone immediately comes round to magic because their friend has it. To grasp that a thing people can’t always control if they have or not and can be used to healing and creation is not inherently evil only when it becomes very personal to you is something I would believe only of Arthur.

I love Gwen and the knights more than anyone else on the show and I realised a while ago it’s partly because they commit the least atrocities. They’re usually innocent in any situation. Because they’re normal people with options. Merlin (he’s a complicated case) and Morgana (not defending her, let’s not go there) do not have those options.

Guess who does :)

Arthur fails to be a decent human being on both of these levels of reality. He maintains the oppression of magic users but he is also selfish and ignorant and uncomfortably near abusive at times towards his loved ones. Arthur does not live in the same fantasy that the others do, but he pretends he does. He hides behind it whenever his essentially tyranny is brought up ‘but I’m a good and just king 🥺 I’m not ruthless and irrational like my father 🥺’ and he’s NOT he’s right but his ignorance and selfishness are almost as destructive. He improves throughout the show only at the most shallow level. He stops bullying everyone around him that he has power over and learns a little bit about his own privilege. On the surface he is a much nicer and better person in s5 vs s1 but if you dig even a little bit I would say the opposite is actually true. I would take s1 Arthur who is a total dick but has normal morals and is capable of nuance over s5 Arthur who is so blinded by how far he’s come (as he’s told by all the people who for some reason still coddle him) and is utterly blind to the injustices he perpetuates.

Arthur has the most power of anyone on the show after Uther dies. There’s no possibility of him secretly being ok with magic but keeping his mouth shut out fear of banishment or worse. He knows things the others don’t, he’s been given unique opportunities to understand magic is not evil. Hell, he even understood it at the start. And I know. I know he’s been abused and brainwashed and I know that’s not easy thing to overcome. But the stakes are way too high to hide behind that and not at least try.

So while you can analyse the other characters to some extent as actual people despite the writing not doing them justice at all and maybe find workarounds that don’t make them actually not great people if you sit down and think about it, you just can’t with later seasons Arthur because he’s so badly written he’s straight up impossible.

So 🤣

I don’t know what Gwen will do. Within the confines of the show there’s no way she’d do anything but forgive him. But by that point everything’s overwritten itself so many times there’s no reasonable outcome. this show′s a fuckin mess :)

[easily-obsessed-1985]

Viking warrior made

Merlin is kidnapped to be sold/forced to be a gladiator

Magic suppressing chains

Nordic/viking captors

Use black paint across their eyes to disguise their features

They teach Merlin how to fight so he can out on a good show

In season 4 season 5 gap

Lancelot is alive, because we love Lancelot

Lancelot was visiting Nemeth to see Princess Mithian, for trade talks and because they're courting, when Merlin is taken

Word gets sent to the kingdoms that a powerful sorcerer has been caught and any interested in purchasing him is invited to attend a tournament where he will showcase his skill

Knights are invited to participate as opponents

Merlin has been missing for a year by the time the tournament is held

A few Knights of the Round Table are interested in competing

Merlin suffered a lot during his captivity, not being able to be free from his chains more than an hour every day

The kingdoms all arrive, pavilions are set up for each for their knights, servants, and royals

Arthur is determined to question everyone present if they have seen Merlin

The servants and knights do the same

When the kingdoms all gather in a makeshift hall, the leader brings Merlin out, still in chains, so they can get a glimpse of the product

Merlin's hair has grown out and curls over his ears, his face has some stubble, and the dark eye paint keep him fairly unrecognizable

He keeps his head down and only growls once when one king touches him; he is rewarded with a swift lash, and he manages to only wince slightly

His breath rushes out when he hears some familiar voices: Arthur and Gwen

When they approach he tries to stay still but his body starts to tremble just barely

He'd been marked with large tattoos crawling around his arms

Arthur asks him what his name is and he can't breathe for a second

Another lash for stalling

He growls out the name Myrrdin half hoping he's recognized, half hoping he's not

When the royals all retire for the night, Merlin is locked back up in his cage

A couple Camelot Knights come to check out the competition

Merlin keeps his head down, until he hears Lancelot's voice

His head snaps up and their eyes lock, and Lancelot's breath rushes out as he grips the cage bars

Merlin shakes his head just enough to keep him from revealing who he is

When everyone is asleep, Lancelot comes back desperate to get Merlin out

They talk for a short time before Merlin hears his captors approaching and begs the knight not to tell anyone who he is

Merlin is brought to the arena just before dawn and is stripped to a pair of tight fitting trousers

No shirt no shoes

The woman in charge recites while painting his face with another stripe down his cheek and presses a needle through his ear and securing a metal loop leaving faint traces of blood on his lobe and down his neck

A symbol is painted on the back of his neck and he feels hands grazing over his shoulder blades

They pull his hair into a few braids, leaving his bangs to cover his forehead lest he be too noticeable

His scars are on full display, but his time in captivity has made him less self conscious

Merlin is glad he hadn't seen Gaius as he would have recognized Merlin from them

He kneels and awaits his orders

The kingdoms are all situated in the various seats surrounding the arena

Two or three knights stand in front of each kingdom as competitors

Merlin was still looking to the ground, so he didn't know which of his friends he'd be fighting

The kingdoms were allowed to go one-on-one or to go all at once, they chose the former

With a harsh command, Merlin rose to his feet, gracefully, standing to his full height, chest out, shoulders back

He fought two from Gawant, and two from Nemeth, all falling quickly

He tried to cause as little damage as he could, but his training had been harsh so he didn't hold back

Amatis and Mercia put up good fights, able to draw blood, though Merlin didn't feel it

Essetir was taken down easily, and there may have been some broken bones because he may have known one of the knights from when he was young, and he had been bullied

Camelot was last, and Merlin was tense as Gwaine and Percival circled him

Merlin made their defeat quick so as to avoid being recognized

Lancelot stepped forward when the others stepped back

Merlin had blood on his face, and blood dripping from his bicep and a small slash on his stomach

Lancelot decided to talk, but Merlin was strung tightly having fought for a few hours now

He told Merlin that he didn't need to fight, that he could stop

The Woman shouted a command at Merlin who attacked

Lancelot defended himself, barely

Merlin had him on the ground in no time, blade pressed to his friends throat

Lancelot looked up at him with sad eyes

He reached a hand up and touched Merlin's face, who leaned into the touch

"I'm so sorry, Merlin. You didn't deserve this." Lancelot told him

Merlin is dragged back then, and forced to his knees while the woman approaches, whip in hand

She speaks to him in her language, and he responds in kind

She walks behind him telling him, in her tongue, this was his own fault

The lashes start and Merling tries to hold in his cries, knowing that will only earn him more

Lancelot tries to stop it, but is forced back by the vikings

The Camelotians don't understand why Lancelot is so agitated

After 10 lashes, the woman relents and tells Merlin, in her tongue, to use his magic to prevent an infection and to heal the wounds to scars

One cuff is removed and his magic flows over him, easing his pain

Once the wounds are just scars, Merlin feels the manacle being put back on

Lancelot yells for him to fight back

Merlin locks eyes with his friend, seeing the pain there, he nods almost imperceptibly

His magic forces his captors back, and he runs to Lancelot, who crushes him in an embrace

Lancelot is whispering to him and then forces him back behind him, away from these savage people

The woman tuts at Merlin and raises her voice

Merlin tenses, but stays behind Lancelot, hand grasping the knights arm tightly

Arthur tries getting Lancelot's attention, but the knight won't move his gaze from the vikings in front of him

Lancelot tells the vikings they can't sell someone who doesn't belong to them

The woman laughs

Merlin growls

The woman then suggests a battle, one final duel and then the little birdie can fly free

This phrase catches the Camelotians attention

A whispered Merlin comes from Gwaine’s lips

Merlin turns sharply, meeting the long haired knights eyes

Gwaine rushes forward, but Merlin has been captive for too long and he quickly retreats letting go of Lancelot, trying to avoid whatever punishment he thought was coming

As soon as he's away from Lancelot the captors have him again, cuff slammed shut on his wrist, held in place by his throat

Merlin growls out in the woman's tongue that he'll accept her final duel if she ensures the Camelotians will be unharmed

She acquiesce's and the vikings begin forming a circle around Merlin and one other man

The one who trained him

The fight is brutal, but Merlin has much to fight for now

He knows that the others have figured out who he is now when he hears shouting

Merlin is quick, but has also already fought many other battles beforehand

He feels his magic straining to get free as he loses ground

As the man is standing over him, crushing his windpipe, his magic breaks free and the manacles shatter

The vikings never stood a chance against the onslaught of magic

The visiting kingdoms are all unharmed

But Merlin lay unmoving on the ground

Lancelot is by his side in a heartbeat, with Gwaine right behind him

Merlin mumbled something that only the vikings would understand

His eyes shot open, blazing gold, as he moved to stand

He collected the vikings with his magic, bringing them in the center of the arena

He spoke viking words, funerary rites, and set them ablaze as he knelt before them

He stayed there for some time before he heard the arguing

When he went to its source, he found the visiting kings ready to face off and declare war, until they noticed his presence

The Mercian King was trying to argue that he agreed to the fee requested by the woman and he intended to take his new property back with him

Merlin stopped the man talking with a flash of his eyes

He started to talk but stopped when he felt Lancelot's hand on him whispering in his ear that he needed to speak common for them to all understand

Merlin nodded, not realizing he'd spoken the other tongue, and informed those gathered he was not for sale

He'd been held prisoner for too long and he would not do so again

If they valued their lives or kingdoms they would leave and not retaliate

When the kings tried to argue more, Merlin told them they're free to challenge him to a duel if it would make them feel better, but since he'd already defeated their champions, the odds weren't in their favor

When the only kingdom remaining was Camelot, Arthur reached over as if to grab Merlin’s shoulder, but Merlin flinched and scrambled out of reach, dropping into a crouch as if prepared to fight, eyes wild

When he looked up and saw the concerned sad look in the King's eyes, he straightened up and came back to stand in front of him, slowly

His King apologized for everything that happened to him, but Merlin stopped him

It wasn't his fault, it was just bad luck he'd been captured and they had figured out some of his power

Merlin held his arm out to his King, who grasped it firmly

Merlin gave him a small smile

He hadn't smiled in a long time

When they returned to the Camelot delegation, Gwaine walked up to him slowly as if he'd spook him again

Merlin ran to him and wrapped his arms around the knight

Everyone cleared away to let hem have a moment, though they didn't go far

The trip back to Camelot was easier than the trip out

Though Merlin didn't help with camp set up, he did cook

He shared a horse with Gwaine, and barely spoke the whole way

When they rode through the lower town heading for the castle, several stared at Merlin, thinking their King brought back a powerful weapon, not recognizing him as Merlin

He was still shirtless as he'd refused to wear a spare

Most of the time he was captive he'd not had a shirt

When they arrived at the castle, Gaius was there waiting as were the courtiers

Gaius recognized the scars almost immediately and rushed to Merlin

Merlin let him inspect him, knowing he was fine aside from new scars

Arthur came over and instructed Gaius to make him take a bath and give him a thorough check up before looking in Merlin’s eyes once more, nodding, and returning to his counselors

Lancelot told Gaius he'd have a bath sent to his chambers so he could be inspected better

When Merlin was stripped down and sitting in the water, his gaze was distant

Gwaine came in and began to carefully wash him, making sure to get all the war paint off

The water was nearly black by the time he was done

Gaius was tense while checking over each new injury and mark, before he finally relaxed, only slightly, and sent Merlin to bed with a sleeping draught

The next day was full of council meetings and Arthur and Gwen were both getting frustrated

When Merlin walked in, clean of the war paint, but not really Merlin anymore, braids still in his hair, tattoos on his arms in view in a short sleeved tunic with his old brown trousers and boots, the council stopped and stared

Merlin addressed them, said he would never cause harm to Camelot, his home, nor his King or Queen. And he was prepared to swear oaths of fealty if necessary to prove such

The council jumped at the idea and within days, Merlin knelt before the King and Queen of Camelot swearing his life in service of their kingdom

He tried to adjust back to being a manservant, but was ill suited for it after his captivity

Instead he became a blade master and taught the knights new techniques

He would often get a far off look in his eyes like he was back in the arena, and would sometimes jump to defend himself when startled, but he was getting better

When he spoke, sometimes it was in the viking tongue, not realizing he'd done it

Gwaine would wake in the night to Merlin shouting and would force him awake and reassure him he was safe

They became inseparable

When they finally married almost a year after he'd been back, Arthur gave Merlin a hard time for waiting so long

Merlin rolled his eyes and reminded the King how long it took him to ask Gwen to marry him

He still didn't smile as much, but that could be because he'd discovered after several years, his friends were aging and graying, and he wasn't

He knew what that must mean and knew he'd have to live on long after they were gone

Everyone was confronted with this fact during a council meeting

Some blustery old noble pointed out that he wasn't aging and that he must be there to take Camelot when the royals passed on

That was when everyone really looked at Merlin and saw he hadn't aged a day in nearly 15 years

His eyes were full of pain and regret, but he told them that he would never take over Camelot, it wasn't his place to be ruler, not when he would live for eternity

The room fell deathly silent

Eternity? Gwaine asked heartbreaking soft

Merlin only gave them a short nod

[banditnoo]

My Castle of Ships {1/2} - Merlin One Shot

Summary |  {A strange phenomenon had occurred when Arthur had been born by magic. He now had the ability to read minds. Nobody knew of his gifts. Arthur knew from a young age that sorcery was not welcomed in Camelot. With fears that his own father would banish or harm him, he kept his piece of magic to himself. A piece of magic that had become much less of a burden after he had been crowned king, and for moments like these; While he was bored and Merlin daydreamed.}

Tags | {Merthur, Magic Arthur AU, mind reader AU, Major Character Death}

Warnings | {Like one swear word? Angsty, but not as gut wrenching as 5x13}

a/n | {I’ve finally worked up the courage to post some of my writing on Tumblr! This has been cross posted to AO3 (Legendary_Julia) and Wattpad (GreaserGal19). Maybe one day I’ll get my usernames in order, but today is not that day. Part 2 will come out... at some point. This was suppose to be a stand alone story, but our boys deserve better. Thanks for checking me out, happy reading!} 

~~~

{A strange phenomenon had occurred when Arthur had been born by magic. He now had the ability to read minds. Nobody knew of his gifts. Arthur knew from a young age that sorcery was not welcomed in Camelot. With fears that his own father would banish or harm him, he kept his piece of magic to himself. A piece of magic that had become much less of a burden after he had been crowned king, and for moments like these; While he was bored and Merlin daydreamed.}

~~~

Merlin was a daydreamer, he always had been. He'd often find himself thinking of Ealdor while he puttered about Arthur's chambers. Sometimes he would imagine what it would be like to rule his own kingdom, to make his own rules. While he scrubbed away at Arthur's hunting boots, he built his own castle. The citadel would be magnificent. The walls would stand tall, glittering with a hint of magic. Beautiful tapestries would hang from every wall, depicting anything the passerby's wished. A series of tunnels would wind throughout and underneath the stone walls, eventually connecting to water. Yes, the castle would have to be by the ocean. Merlin smiled to himself as he pictured it. The birds, the sound of waves crashing against the rocky shores, and the ships. Merlin loved the idea of having ships. With a boat like that he could sail anywhere, do anything. That's what it could be, his castle of ships.

Arthur had to smile at the name. He too pictured the castle from his spot at his desk. He could only imagine the beauty of a kingdom Merlin could build with his magic. The Castle of Ships.

"Has a nice ring to it," Arthur muttered to himself, to caught up in the image to realize he had said anything aloud.

"What was that?"

"Hmm?"

"You said something."

"No, I did not."

"Yes, yo-"

"You're hearing things Merlin, go back to whatever it is you where doing. Maybe scrub a different spot before you muck up my good boots."

Arthur stood up abruptly, leaving a confused Merlin watch him briskly walk out of his chambers.

"He really has gone mad." Merlin muttered as he began to clean the other boot.

~~~

Merlin knew someone was listening. He's felt the presence in the castle for a long time, but could never quite pinpoint it. He had tried to call out many times. Perhaps there was a Druid somewhere within Camelot trying to communicate, or an evil doer with a presence too strong to ignore. But there was never an answer. He was always left alone with his thoughts, which he was slowing getting scared to think.

When the presence felt strong, Merlin would busy his mind with his daydreams. He would think of home, or add details to his imaginary kingdom.

He did his best daydreaming during round table meetings. The presence would always be strong in the throne room, the magic almost danced through the air. It was here that he added the finer details of his castle.

He constructed a grand portrait hall as Leon droned on about the months finances. The long room would have the most brilliant red carpet, lined with an intricate gold and black pattern. He could almost feel himself walking through the grand hallway as he leaned against the cold stone of the throne room walls. As he imagined himself walking along, he thought about whos portraits he would put on display. He would have his mother, of course, and Gwen, his first friend in Camelot. He could picture the cocky smirk on Gwaine's portrait and the valiant yet understanding look on Lancelot's. His eyes scanned around the round table, imagining all of his friends in their best Camelot red, striking wild poses for the artist. They eventually landed on Arthur, whose head was resting lazily against his hand, trying his best to listen to Leon. Merlin hummed to himself, placing Arthur's portrait at the end of the hallway. It would be the only place fit for his king.

He had heard once of a spell that made the portraits move within their frames, adopting the personality of its subject. He studied Arthur's face as he thought, committing every detail to memory. The way his golden hair fell across his forehead in soft wisps, and how his nose came to a gentle point, complimenting the rest of his face. His favourite feature of Arthur's has always been his eyes. A piercing blue that found him in any room they were in.

They were the same blue eyes that were staring at him now, Merlin realized, staring back, not daring to look away now. Their shared a million words with just a look, a conversation no one else would hear.

Are you as bored as I am?

When is dinner?

When will Leon stop talking?

How's the castle of ships coming?

Merlin's heart dropped. He was imagining things, right? He had to be. They weren't really talking to each other, after all. It was all in his head, somewhere Arthur most definitely was not. He was quickly becoming aware of the overwhelming sense of magic flowing through the room.

I know you're in my head. Make yourself known. I don't know what you want, but you won't be getting it.

Arthur was taken aback by the threatening tone in Merlin's voice. He hadn't realized that Merlin could sense the presence of his magic, or that he was so threatened by it. His eyes dropped quickly, looking at everything but Merlin in the corner of the room.

"Is everything alright, Sire? You looked concerned." Leon's address took Arthur by surprise. Sitting up as fast and as straight as possible, he voided his face of any emotion as he shook his head.

"Yes, yes. Everything is fine. We must ensure that patrol around the citadel continues. I've caught wind of a potential threat. A sorcerer."

"Are you sure, sire? I haven't heard of such a thing."

"Certain. I trust my sources," with a final glance at Merlin, he nodded at Leon, urging him to continue with the meeting.  

~~~

Arthur's eyes followed Merlin around his chambers. He could hear his thoughts going a mile a minute as he absentmindedly straightened the pillows on the bed.

"There is something on your mind," Arthur said, not moving his head from where it rested in the crook of his elbow, all but laying on the table.

"What makes you say that?"

"I can see it in your eyes." Their eyes connected from across the room, but Merlin looked away quickly, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. There was a moment of silence before he spoke again,

"Something is troubling you, and I want you to tell me. Please, Merlin, there is no need to lie."

Merlin was fighting with himself, and Arthur didn't need to be a mind reader to see it. They stayed like this, Arthur looking at Merlin and Merlin looking at the floor. They both felt the heavy magic in the room, but neither acknowledged it.

"Have you ever missed a place you've never been? A place that never really was?"

"I never took you for a philosopher, Merlin," Arthur couldn't help the smile that crept onto his face, or the fondness in his eyes, "if this is about your mother, I've told you. She is more than welcome here. I know how much you think of her."

"No, it's- that's not quite it."

'Not thinking of running away, are we?" Arthur's smile grew bigger as he spoke. He knew that's what it was, Merlin had been thinking about it for weeks. He wasn't worried, though. He knew Merlin would never leave without a goodbye, and a chance to convince him to stay. The guilty look in Merlin's eyes confirmed what Arthur already knew.

"I would never! Who would deal with your royal ass everyday if I left?"

"It's a simple fix, really. I would just have to come with you. Make sure you don't get yourself killed."

"Arthur Pendragon on the road? I don't believe it for a minute." Merlin smiled as he spoke. He imagined the two of them running away, into the castle of ships.

Many sleepless nights had allowed Merlin countless hours to add onto the castle. In the late hours of the night, he added gardens and ballrooms, imagined the wind on his face as he held tightly to the mast of a massive wooden ship. Those same nights, Arthur would lay awake in his own chambers, halfway across the castle, and imagine the beauty for himself as he listened to Merlin describe his castle grounds in a way that a child listens to his mother read a bedtime story.

"I am perfectly capable, thank you," Arthur rose form his spot at the table, making his way over to the bed and trying his best not to sound too amused, " and put some wood on the fire, would you? We've got an early morning tomorrow. We're travelling to Annis' land. She wishes to discuss the safety of both our borders villages."

"Is there a reason I was not told of this sooner?"

"It's simply business, Merlin. There's no need to worry. Get some sleep, you'll need it for the journey."

"I have a bad feeling about this," Merlin muttered as he left, shutting the door tightly.

"I heard that!"

"Go to sleep!"

~~~

The knights laughed loudly as their horses carried them down the well-beaten trail. An agreement was reached between Arthur and Annis about the protection of the border villages, making it much safer for villagers in each kingdom to travel through the border forests.

"Smile, Merlin! We're celebrating!" Gwaine gave Merlin's should a rough pat as his horse rode up alongside Merlin's. He held out a water skin, no doubt filled with ale, and gestured it towards Merlin.

"You're always celebrating, Gwaine." He took a long sip before handing back to Gwaine, nodding his thanks. He would need a drink if he was going to deal with the knights for the ride back to Camelot.

Merlin turned to his daydreams as their journey back continued. He was picturing a beautiful courtyard, lush with apple trees and all kinds of flowers, when his magic started to tingle. He hardly noticed it at first, brushing it off as the change in the wind, but the feeling kept growing stronger.

Someone was watching them.

They were just leaving Caerleon's borders through a valley, the perfect place for an ambush. Merlin looked around, uneasy. His body tensed at every little sound as the forest came into view. He was fighting with himself. If he told Arthur, would he believe him? What if it really was nothing? No, his magic wouldn't deceive him like that. He looked at Arthur, who was riding a short distance in front of him.

Merlin didn't even have to call his name for Arthur to turn around. As soon as their eyes met, a look of concern filled his face. His hand came up, signaling the group to stop. He looked toward the tree line, signaling for his men to do the same. Much to Arthur's horror, it was deathly quiet. The birds stopped chirping and the wind seemed to stop howling. The air around them was still as the group looked around.

"Did you hear something, sire?"

"No. That's exactly the issue."

"If we are quick, we can make it to the trees. Find safety in the forest."

Despite Leon's suggestion, nobody moved a muscle.

They continued looking towards the trees, before Merlin gave Arthur a hard nudge. Getting ready to tell him off, Arthur turned quickly on his horse before following his line of sight. Standing atop the rocky hills on either side of the valley were dozens of men wearing loose black and brown clothing, swords and bows drawn, pointed at the much smaller group of knights.

"AMBUSH!"

The horses started going crazy, whinnying and thrashing in an attempt to throw off the knights. Swords were drawn as the bandits began to yell, running down the hills at all angles. They were outnumbered, far too outnumbered to stand a chance against even the weakest opponents. Arthur unsheathed his sword, trying to regain control of his horse.

"Head for the trees!"

Picking off only the first attackers, it was a race between time, the bandits, and making it to the cover of the woods. Taking a sword from one of the bandits bodies, Merlin was quick to follow Arthur. With his heart pounding in his ears, he could no longer hear the commotion of the fight. He could only hope he was losing them.

~~~

Merlin's head was spinning as he stumbled through the thick underbrush of the forest. He had lost his horse when he lost sight of Arthur. He dragged his stolen sword loosely behind him as he tried to ignore the searing pain in his shoulder. The bandits had been quicker than he thought, and had much better aim than what he'd like to give them credit for. He had barely cleared the trees when the arrow struck his shoulder, no doubt coated in a poison that his mind was too foggy to identify.

Things had gone downhill very quickly after that. The sun had set what Merlin could only guess was hours ago. The forest was so dark he could hardly tell which way was up. He was ready to give up finding the others. He had wandered for hours, they could've been halfway back to Camelot by now.

Merlin had stopped for a moment, leaving heavily against a tree to try to catch his breath, weighing his options as he grimaced at the pain shooting through his arm. He stayed there for a few minutes, waiting, listening to the forest. He heard the magic in the forest as it flowed through every tree, every leaf. There were owls in the distance, and the sound of insects flying by. And footsteps? Although the sword was in his good hand, Merlin was weak as he swung blindly behind him. Hearing the dull thud of metal on metal, and a familiar grunt, Merlin dared to turn around.

"It's a good thing you've got sticks for arms," Arthur huffed out a weak laugh as he took the sword from Merlin.

When Arthur pulled him into a hug, Merlin was ready to defend himself, but he was to tired too do anything but lean into the cool metal of Arthur's chainmail. A gentle 'hmff' was all he could manage.

Arthur took Merlin by the shoulders and held him at arms length, giving him a once over. It was hard to see in the dark, but he could see the blood that coated Merlin left shoulder and arm, and now his own hand.

"I would never leave you behind! How could you think that?" Arthur sounded heartbroken as he gripped onto Merlin's good arm tightly.

"I didn't- how-"

"You didn't need to say it out loud for me to hear you."

Confusion was evident in Merlin's eyes as he scanned Arthur's face, looking for any trace of a joke, but he found nothing.

"It's you, isn't it? That presence, that magic... It's you?"

"It always has been."

The magic danced between them, like it had a thousand times before, but there was no fear behind it, not this time.

"You're hurt."

"I noticed."

Merlin leaned into Arthur's arm, trying to stay steady.

"Can you walk? Let me take you to the others. We've set up a camp, we'll be safer there."

"Only if you carry me. Like a damsel in distress."

"Absolutely not," Arthur scoffed as he picked Merlin up bridal style, slinging his good arm around the back of his neck, making sure not to move him too much.

"Hey! I was kidding, you prat! Put me down!"

"Would you rather I drag you? Quit your complaining. If your swing at me was any indication of your strength, you wouldn't have made it another step." Arthur tried to hide the growing concern in his voice. He looked down at Merlin's face, which was now rested against his shoulder, and he could tell it wasn't good. He only now got a good look at what had happened, and his heart sunk. He had had knights that couldn't recover from a wound like that, where the arrow was haphazardly ripped out in an attempt to get rid of the poison it was laced with.

"Merlin?"

"Hmm?"

"Tell me about the castle. The castle of ships. I'm sure there's parts that I've missed. I can't be in your head all the time."

Merlin smiled, closing his eyes as he shook his head against Arthur's shoulder,

"It's a stupid idea."

"It can't be that stupid, you put a lot of thought into it. Have you ever thought of becoming a storyteller?"

The laugh that came out of Merlin was short and hoarse, but Arthur needed him to keep talking. They were still a long walk away from the camp, and Arthur was willing to do anything to get Merlin there alive.

"I didn't realize I had such a way with words."

"Please?"

"What would you like to hear about, my lord."

"I won't hesitate to drop you."

Merlin let out another laugh, much rougher than the last one, that quickly turned into a fit of heavy, wet coughing. Arthur continued to walk, the only sound being his boots hitting the ground for a long time before Merlin began to speak.

"The grand hall, it would stand alone from the rest of the castle. It would have a long, stone pathway for guests to walk along as they gathered for feasts and balls. It would be lined with rose bushed and allium flowers, the dark purple ones."

There was another coughing fit before he continued, "the double doors, they would be engraved. With dragons, fairies, things of magic. Did you know your shoulder isn't very comfortable?"

"I wouldn't imagine, with it being covered in armor and all. Tell me about the boats. They are my favourite part."

"What about them? I've never seen a ship, only the pictures in Gaius' books. They're fascinating, aren't they?"

He could hardly finish his sentence before he started coughing again. It shook through his whole body, making him ache.

"Come on, Merlin. Keep talking. Give me something, a thought, anything. It's not long until we'll be back with the knights. Elyan will fix you right up. Good as new, right?"

Merlin gave a weak smile, "good 's new..."

"Why do you find ships so interesting? They are just big, fancy boats."

Arthur could hear Merlin's thoughts, still going a mile a minute despite him thinking almost nothing at all.

" 's exactly it. They're big, they're fancy."

"Is there a spell for that? Could you create one?"

"A spell for what?"

"Building things. Constructing this castle, making ships."

"I'm sure I could figure it out."

Merlin shifted in Arthurs arms, trying to make himself more comfortable before hissing out in pain and trying to reach for his shoulder.

"Are you trying  to bleed out? Quit moving!"

Arthur's words came out harsher that he intended, though there was sadness in his voice. Merlin continued to wiggle until Arthur dropped his legs. Keeping one hand around Merlin's waist, he used his other hand to keep a firm pressure on his shoulder. Against Merlin's protest and Arthur's better judgment, they continued walking through the dark.

"We're not going to make it in time." Merlin was leaning heavily into Arthur's side, barely keeping his footing at he stumbled over another tree root.

"We're going to make it. You're not going dying on me now Merlin. That's an order."

"When have I ever listened to those?"

Merlin stopped walking, forcing Arthur to stop next to him. Letting himself fall to his knees, he landed with a small 'thump' on the cold ground, the blanket of pine needles and leaves welcomed him. Arthur lowered himself after him, keeping one hand at Merlin's side, his other hand reached out to rest against Merlin's cheek, keeping his head steady as he closed his eyes.

"Keep your eyes open Merlin. Come on, looks at me. Say something."

"Remember my story, won't you? You've heard me tell it a thousand times. Built that castle of ships. For me?"

"I won't build it unless your there to see it. Open your eyes, Merlin, please." Arthur felt hot tears roll down his face as he looked at Merlin. His friend, his best friend, his only friend, was going to die.

Merlin opened his eyes slowly, only getting them halfway opened before they became to heavy to move. Arthur moved the hand on Merlin's waist to his back, gently pulling him into another hug. They sat like this, in silence for a long time, Arthur not daring to pull away.

Arthur started to hum a gentle tune in a last ditch effort to break the silence, not trusting his own voice to not break if he spoke. It was a tune he had caught Merlin humming hundreds of times. It reminded him of the warmth of the castle, how comfortable he was when he watched Merlin go about his duties from his spot at his desk, listening to the story of a magnificent castle being built and the mighty ships that gave it it's name. It reminded him of all the times he had to stop himself from revealing his piece of magic to Merlin, to tell him that he wasn't alone, that he wasn't hated.

The quiet song came to an end and Arthur stopped, listening to the sounds of the forest and hoping to hear a voice amongst the gentle rustle of trees, but he heard nothing. There wasn't a cough, nor a cry or a snarky remark, not even a thought. It was quiet, deafeningly so as Arthur began to cry. Long, ugly sobs were the only sound as he pulled Merlin closer to him, begging, pleading for him to move, get up, say something, kick him, yell at him, anything.

But alas, there was nothing. Only silence as Arthur continued to cry. He cried for the loss of his friend, his dearest friend. He cried for the loss of the kingdom they never got to create with each other.

He cried, sobbed, begged, and bargained. But that too, only ended in silence.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Soft Epilogue

Prompt: Hear ye, hear ye, I humbly request from the fanfic goddess, a merlin fanfic of epic fluff proportions!! Lol I love your writing, can I request an Ace!Merlin and Ace!Arthur platonic love life bond?

Thanks for the request, babe! it seems fitting that on my birthday I get to upload a fic about ace qprs

Read on Ao3

Pairings: merthur qpr, implied morgwen 

Warnings: none my dudes

Word Count: 1807

In the end, there’s no big celebrations.

Oh, Camelot has a feast to end all feasts, but that’s not the point.

 There’s no big rushing into each other at the end of a hard-won fight, Arthur looking all stupidly heroic with his hair all sweaty or Merlin rippling with otherworldly power that makes men want to fall to their knees.

 There’s no kiss after years and years of pining finally being deforested—get it?

 “Shut up, Merlin.”

 “What, that was a good one!”

 “Merlin!”

 —alright fine, there’s no big kiss, there’s no music that swells romantically in the background—

 “Though not for lack of trying on your part, I’m sure.”

 “Will you shut up, you prat, and let me talk?”

 “It’s a wonder you ever stop talking.”

 —okay, look.

 It’s simple.

 It’s the end of a fight. Everyone’s exhausted. There are heavy pants and the scrape of steel on steel from the trodden corners of the battlefield, as soldier after soldier, knight after knight, falls to the ground in a heap. Some get back up. Some don’t.

 Arthur’s fingers fumble on the pommel of his sword. Huh. He needs to redo the grip on the left side. It’s fraying. His fingers are too clumsy. They won’t hold the damn thing properly. The chain mail keeps snagging where it’s come loose. He really needs to fix the grip.

 The sword sings quietly as it slides home, back into the sheath, away, away. His breath leaves him in a rush and he looks up, looking around, counting.

 Leon stands, already directing the survivors to start taking care of those they lost. He catches his king’s eye and nods. Once. Arthur nods back.

 Gwaine pushes his hair out of his eyes and makes a joke. It’s what he does best. As the desperate chuckles start up again, Arthur’s mouth quirks up in a smile. Gwaine catches it.

 Elyan strips the last of the shrapnel from someone’s wound and hauls them to their feet, a man of the people until his last. Arthur watches, paralyzed by the weight of the crown on his shoulders, as Elyan helps in ways he can’t.

 Percival stands. Shadows Arthur as they start to move through the field. The weight is a little easier to bear now, as his breath starts to sink back into his chest.

 Lancelot turns, smiles. Says ‘it’s good to see you,’ as if they’re just mates, running into each other after a long hard day. As if he’s about to buy Arthur a drink at the tavern and talk about the harvest, the new work from the blacksmith siblings, how much he misses looking up at the moon. Arthur just claps him on the shoulder.

 Everyone’s here. Except—

 “Arthur?”

 So there’s no dramatic turn, no big flourish. Time doesn’t slow to a standstill as they rush into each other’s arms. The bards would be so bored, there’s no dramatic confessions, no infamous realizations, no murmured apologies through the hurried meeting of lips. What would they have to sing about?

 Well, perhaps they could sing about this.

 Arthur turns, sees Merlin standing there. He smiles. Merlin smiles back. There’s a little cut on Merlin’s shoulder. Barely enough to graze through the tunic, but enough to draw blood. Arthur frowns, stalks forward, gently tips Merlin’s head to the side so he can have a look.

 “I’m fine, you prat.”

 “You’ve managed to injure yourself.”

 “Wasn’t me!”

 “Given how clumsy you are, I’d be surprised.”

 Arthur presses gently over the cut. It’s nothing more than a scratch, should close by the end of the day. And yet Merlin just rolls his eyes and lays his hand over it. A moment of golden light later and it’s like nothing ever happened.

 “There. Happy now?”

 “Mm.”

 Merlin sighs and moves his head back. Arthur doesn’t. For a moment, their foreheads rest together.

  Thank the heavens you didn’t die, I would’ve dragged you back here myself.

  Just so you could kill me?

  Obviously.

 That’s all. Don’t look so disappointed, there needn’t be more.

 Oh, alright.

 The ride back to Camelot is slow. There’s work to be done along the way, after all. There are people to tend to, knights to bury and mourn, families to tell. There are knights that return to Camelot only for their hands to shake too much, their eyes to go too glassy. These knights leave with the highest honors Arthur can give them, thanked sincerely for their service and the knowledge that the people will forever be in their debt.

 There are preparations to be made, hugs to give. Gwen throws herself into Elyan’s arms, Lancelot’s arms, Merlin’s arms, Arthur’s arms. Gaius isn’t far behind. Each of them breathes in the scent of the other. Home.

 “So you missed me?”

 “Of course I missed you!”

 “I’ve got your favorite waiting, Merlin.”

 “Thanks, Gaius.”

 “Oi! Why don’t I get a hug?”

 “Oh, fine, come here.”

 Arthur looks up to the top of the steps to see Morgana. No longer is she the intimidating figure cut from Camelot’s noble cloth, dressed up like Uther’s legacy, no. Just a simple dress, one of Gwen’s, her hair down around her shoulders in limp curls. If Arthur were someone else, he’d say she’d never looked better.

 “Don’t tell her that.”

 “I don’t need to, she knows.”

 “Merlin!”

 “What? She’s your sister.”

 She smiles, a little dimmer, a little warier, as she descends the steps and holds out her arms. Arthur doesn’t hesitate.

 His sister is here, finally recovered from her long fight with the magic Morgause wove through that horrid bracelet. Morgana hugs him back, tighter than they can imagine.

 “I’m glad to see you,” Arthur mumbles into her shoulder.

 “I’m happy you’re back.”

 Merlin joins them a moment later and Morgana pulls him in too, laughing at Arthur’s affronted face when Merlin squawks and his elbow digs unceremoniously into his ribs.

 “It hurt, you idiot.”

 “She pulled me!”

 “If you weighed more than a beanpole maybe that would help.”

 “My weight is just fine, thank you very much.”

 The feast is glorious. Food and wine flow freely out of the castle into the city below. The people dance, sing, yell, live. The city comes alive with the sound of its people. And that’s the end of the story.

 They won.

 They’re safe.

 They’re with the people they love.

 “You can’t just leave it there, Merlin.”

 “What happened to wanting to keep your privacy?”

 “Just—get on with it.”

 “Fine, you prat.”

 It’s not entirely over. There are still nights where Merlin wakes up and his fingers tingle so much it feels like they’re about to fall off. Nights where he swears he hears a low rumbling voice in the back of his mind, feels giant hands on strings grafted to his arms. Nights where he still feels like Destiny’s puppet, strung along without a second thought.

 There are still nights where Arthur can’t stop hearing the singing of steel and the weight of a sword in his hands. Nights when he can’t stop seeing Uther’s face, hearing his voice, seeing Morgana dead and twisted, broken on the ground. Nights when the flames rise high as knights—his knights—slaughter innocent people as part of a meaningless war.

 There are still nights when they think they can hear each other screaming.

 But Arthur is always there to roll over and wrap his arms tighter around Merlin. He’s here, he’s right here, and he’s warm, and nothing, nothing can take something away from Arthur once he’s decided it’s his. Merlin jolts awake to a cold nose pressed in the crook of his neck, sleepy declarations of ‘mine, my Merlin, go away, leave my Merlin alone, he’s mine, you can’t have him.’ Or it will be to tender words, gentle hands shaking him away, whispered promises of ‘you’re here, it’s alright, I’ll keep you safe, you did it.’

 And Merlin is always there when Arthur clenches the pillow so hard he looks like he’s going to break his fingers, there to gentle them away and pull him close, tuck his head under his chin and say ‘it’s over now, it’s safe now, they’re all safe, they’re all safe.’ Arthur wakes up to rough tunics, slim fingers woven through his own, the warmth of someone else who won’t ever leave. Or just the weight of an arm or leg thrown across his middle. It’s just enough to wake him up and realize that there is someone who, even in sleep, wants to hold him close.

 In the morning, Merlin will wake before Arthur does. The morning will ruffle along the edge of the curtains and he’ll shiver, hiding a little further under the covers. Arthur will hold him closer, unwilling to give up his heat source just yet. Some days, Merlin will let him, falling back asleep with his fingers carding through Arthur’s hair.

 But on most days, he carefully separates himself and tucks Arthur back up, pulling on his clothes and moving to get their breakfast set up. His fingers will brush a vase and a bouquet of flowers will bloom, one of the side effects of training with Morgana. He’ll smile and pick one out to give to Gwen.

 Arthur will wake slowly, first reaching out to feel where Merlin’s gone, then sitting up to spot him at the window, or the table, or right next to him, comb in hand. He’ll grumble, saying Merlin gets up too quickly, only for Merlin to laugh and pull him up to eat.

 The sun will rise through the curtains as they eat, get dressed, and leave to go about their days. The door will close softly behind them, waiting to open again once the day is over.

 There’s no furious declarations of love, no gritting of teeth as they fight to make the world change. Just slow, steady, constant. A touch of a hand here, a brush here. A knowing look or a quick jab. Nothing rough, just soft.

 They deserve a soft epilogue.

 “Hmm. Should’ve known you’d get all sappy.”

 “You like me sappy.”

 “I think I should go see Gaius, my teeth are starting to hurt.”

 “You love it.”

 “…maybe.”

 “Did Arthur Pendragon just admit I was right?”

 “Shut up.”

 “He did! He definitely did!”

 “Shut up, Merlin.”

 Morgana just rolls her eyes and wraps her arms around Gwen to watch the two of them bicker.

 “He’s right, though,” Gwen murmurs after a moment, leaning back to look up at her, “they do deserve a soft epilogue.”

 Morgana smiles. “I think we all do.”

 She’s right and she should say it.

[justaz]

I’m sorry but Gwen deserves better than someone who treated her the way Lancelot did in canon. He loved her sure but did not respect her enough - not to give her a choice or even fight for her. Just thought about Arthur, and nothing for Gwen. No thanks. He removes her agency in the say of their relationship completely, actively chooses against her and my girl deserves better than that.

i haven’t watched the show in years so ig i gotta say valid 😭 but also arthur wasn’t much better. i mean yeah he cared for her but he also didn’t notice her enchanted for…what was it days? weeks?? but counted the days between merlin’s smile. he cared for merlin above all others whether you view that as platonic or romantic. morgana was honestly the best option for her bc she was ready to throw down at every opportunity for her girl but canon said fuck the lesbians

[thenameishayley248]

hi!! could you possibly write something for gwaine from merlin where the reader is gwen's servant and he's smitten by her and the other knights tease him, and maybe gwen gave her an old dress and he sees her in this new fancy dress instead of servant garb and is just cute ,, sorry if this is overly specific ! also no worries if you dont write this!! ty, have a good one! x :)

I hope you like it!! I’m a little rusty, but I think I’m happy with how this turned out!! Thanks for the request! (:

You were walking through the marketplace, following Gwen as she was picking out some new garments to add to her wardrobe. 

“The blue one would look beautiful on you milady,” you say with a smile. 

“I was thinking the blue, as well,” she replied, giving the woman at the stand the money for the dress. 

You both continue on through the crowd when you hear the boisterous laughs of the knights just ahead of you. As you look up, your eyes meet the beautiful, brown ones of Sir Gwaine, who gives you a sweet smile. You and Sir Gwaine have gotten along ever since he first became a knight. Despite your job as a servant, he has always treated you as an equal. He always loved that you were able to match him in his quick-witted banter, which always gained laughs from the other knights.

You follow Gwen as she walks up to the group of men to greet them.

“Good morning boys,” she says.

“Your majesty,” the five men reply, bowing their heads. 

As Leon, Elyan, Percival, and Lancelot speak with Gwen, Gwaine’s focus seems to have never left you. Having noticed his friend’s lack of attention to the queen, Leon gently elbows Gwaine’s side, earning a stifled laugh from both you and Gwen.

“Well, I should get back to the castle. There are a few things I need to tend to,” Gwen says. “Y/N, I forgot to get some flowers for the center-table, would you mind getting some for me?” 

“Of course, milady,” you reply.

“It may be best that you are accompanied, as well. Just to be safe,” Gwen smiles, knowing which of the men would be the first to offer.

“I’d be happy to escort, Y/N,” Gwaine says quickly. He clears his throat trying to cover up his embarrassingly quick response.

“Thank you, Sir Gwaine,” you smile. You both bid farewells as you begin your walk down towards the fields.

As you walk through the flower field, you and Gwaine speak of how the past few days have been, as you haven’t seen him since he’s been on patrol. 

“I hear they missed you down at the tavern. The last few days haven’t been the same without your crazy antics,” you joke, giving him a small nudge on the arm. 

“Well I have missed causing trouble down there. And seeing you every morning of course,” he smiles, looking over at you. 

“Oh I’m sure,” you say with a small laugh, picking a handful of purple flowers to take back to Gwen. 

You walk together in comfortable silence, enjoying each other’s company until you reach the doors of the castle. Gwaine stops you before you enter.

“You’ll be at the feast later tonight, yes?” he asks, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Of course. Well, it is sort of my job to be there with Gwen,” you laugh.

“Right. Well, I suppose I’ll see you then,” he smiles.

“I suppose you will. Thank you for walking with me, I enjoyed the company.”

You walk into Gwen’s chambers, seeing her trying to pick out a dress for tonight. She turns and gives you a knowing smile.

“So how was your time spent with Sir Gwaine?” 

“It was very nice,” you laugh, “Thank you for your very obvious attempt at trying to get us together.”

“He’s a good man. A crazy one, but good. And he is absolutely smitten by you. Everyone can see it.” 

You smile at the thought of being with Gwaine. The man who always manages to put a smile on your face, even on the worst days. His flirty personality and messy, brown locks were enough to make you swoon, but his kind gestures and loyalty to his friends is what always stood out the most. The rugged man has you lost in a daydream until a heavy piece of clothing lands on top of your head, breaking your trance. You hear Guinevere laughing through the fabric. Removing the garment from your head, you see that it is a beautiful red dress, one of your favorites from Gwen’s closet.

“What is this for?” you asked. 

“That is for you. You’re wearing it to the feast tonight. And not as my maid, but as a guest,” she says with a smile. “You work hard every day, and at this point you are more of a friend than anything. You deserve a night off, especially if it means you’ll get to spend quality time with a certain knight.”

She gives you a hug and you help each other get changed into your evening gowns. 

Just before the feast is to begin, Gwen leads you both through the grand doors of the dining hall. Some of the guests have already arrived, including your favorite group of knights. All of them bow their heads to Gwen as you both walk towards your seats. You look over at the knights and notice that Gwaine’s eyes are glued to you. You give him a smile and a wave, which he returns. Seemingly unable to break his gaze from you, Leon gives him a small shove, whispering something in his ear followed by a small chuckle from both men. As Gwen takes her seat beside Arthur, Gwaine makes his way over to you. 

“Y/N,” he says with a bow,”You look, uh, y-you look beautiful tonight. Well, I mean you always look beautiful, but...um I just mean the dress looks beautiful on you tonight.” He nervously runs his fingers through his long, brown locks. You can’t help but giggle at his uncharacteristic nervousness.

“Well thank you Sir Gwaine. You look beautiful as well,” you say with a smirk, a chuckle erupting from his lips.

He offers his arm and escorts you to your seat beside Gwen, giving you a small wink as he pushes your chair up for you.

Throughout dinner, you noticed Gwaine stealing numerous glances at you from across the table. At one point you waited for him to look at you so you could stick your tongue out at him quickly, earning a stifled laugh from him and Lancelot. When dinner was over, everyone moved on to the ballroom for a dance. As you were waiting off to the side, watching all of the couples dance, you saw Leon seemingly giving a pep talk to Gwaine. You couldn’t help but laugh, as you have a feeling you know what they are discussing. Before Gwaine has the chance to pluck up the courage to talk to you again, you are already by his side, giving a small tap on his shoulder. 

As he turns around, you hold out your hand to him.

“Care to dance?” you ask with a sweet smile. He looks pleasantly surprised.

“I thought you’d never ask,” he laughs, taking your hand and leading you both through the dancing bodies.

He places his hand on your waist, keeping hold of the other as you both begin to follow the lead of everyone else.

“If I’m being honest, I’m quite sure how to dance,” you say, glancing down at your feet every so often so you don’t step on his.

He laughs. “I don’t either. But if I get to spend more time with you, I’d happily make a fool of myself.”

As you dance, you don’t take your eyes off of each other, taking in the rare moment of your bodies being so close. The warmth of his hand on your waist and the look that he holds in his eyes gives you butterflies. Something no man has ever given you. He leans closer to you, his lips so close to your ear you can feel his breath.

“You really are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met,” he whispers, a smile creeping its way onto your lips. You lean back to look at his face again.

“Perhaps it’s just the fancy dress,” you say with a small laugh, not being used to receiving such compliments.

He stops you, both standing still amongst the people swinging around you. He places his hand on the side of your cheek. 

“You are beautiful with and without the dress. You’re unlike any woman I’ve ever met,” he smiles. “And I’d be a fool if I didn’t admit that my feelings for you have only grown since the first day I saw you.” 

You lean into his warm touch, admiring the man before you.

“And I’d be a fool if I didn’t tell you that I feel exactly the same way for you.”

A smile creeps onto his face as he begins to lean in closer. His lips ghost over yours, just before pressing them together. It’s as if time itself stops. He presses your body closer to his, as you both take in the satisfaction of finally giving in to your feelings. 

When you break the kiss, you both give each other the biggest grins. You look over to see Arthur and Gwen celebrating with Merlin, who always swore you two would end up together. As you and Gwaine walk hand-in-hand to join your friends, you see Elyan place a silver coin in Leon’s hand. Gwaine gives them a questioning look, before Leon responds. 

“We may have had a bet for how long it would take for you two to get together. Let’s just say I had more faith in you than Elyan did.” 

You playfully roll your eyes at the men, turning your attention to Gwaine who is already staring at you with a loving smile.

“Better late than never I suppose,” you smirk, placing another kiss on the knight’s lips. 

“Now,” Gwaine starts, “I think a celebration at the tavern is in order!” You all laugh and roll your eyes at the man.

“The guys down there are never going to believe someone actually enjoys your presence for longer than an hour,” Merlin jokes, turning his gaze to you.

“Eh, he’s not too bad. I’m thinking of keeping him around,” you turn to Gwaine, giving him a wink. He takes your hand as you all head toward the doors.

“You might change your mind about that if you were to smell his dirty socks after a long day’s training,” Merlin replies. 

You laugh as you walk beside Gwaine, glancing up to see him giving you a loving smile. As you walk hand-in-hand, you know that nothing could compare to the happiness that you feel now as you think about what the future holds for you and the handsome knight. 

[lit-in-thy-heart]

literally so many scenes came to mind from your fics but I have to say the one that I immediately thought of was in forget-me-nots when Lancelot asks merlin to make him flowers and merlin makes a strawberry by mistake and says something like three years too late

that took my breath away the first time I read it 😭

and then they make flowers crowns and Lancelot draws them and its just got such a lovely gentle feel to it.

of course its immediately followed by gwaine giving a "a knife for each of his murder boyfriends" which is also iconic 😂 I just love that whole scene <3

tysm for the ask 💕💕

the fact that you've remembered the dialogue exactly absolutely does not make me want to tear up a little i don't know what you mean :')

they just deserve all the flower crowns in the world and the domesticity and peace and casual magic and urgh here i go thinking 'bout them again 😭 this scene was inspired by @little-ligi who helped me out when i got severely stuck and didn't know where to go next and it is one of my favourites of this fic, with everything that they should have had in the show...

ahhh painter lancelot my beloved... and i am once again thinking about your beautiful edit <3

there should have been more knives in the show too. merlin so should have had a knife as a treat

strawberries and flowers:

Gwaine’s frown had deepened and travelled up to his forehead. ‘Hang on, can someone catch me up?’

‘Merlin was using magic to change the shape of the clouds to wind you up.’

‘Merlin!’ Gwaine launched himself at the warlock and pushed him into Lancelot’s lap. ‘You little shit! You’re going to make it up to me.’

Merlin, with his wrists pinned to Lancelot’s legs by Gwaine’s hands, looked up at the latter defiantly. ‘Make me.’

With a smirk, Gwaine kissed him on the mouth and, laughing, Lancelot levered himself down so he was leaning on one elbow. If Merlin was able to resist that, then he would be in awe. Gwaine always knew exactly how to use his tongue to get what he wanted. He’d done it many a time to Lancelot, particularly when he was after a certain weapon that Lancelot had also been eyeing up in training. For Leon’s sake, Lancelot had started letting Gwaine pick first and fighting over it out of sight.

Merlin, however, had succumbed to Gwaine’s mouth. Still lying on Lancelot, he pushed Gwaine away and titled his head. ‘What do you want then?’

‘Flowers.’

‘We’ve got plenty of flowers inside,’ Merlin said.

‘Yeah, but I want some from you.’

Grasping his meaning, Merlin sat up and glanced around. There was nobody in immediate sight and, crossing his legs, he brought his hands to his mouth and murmured an incantation. Lancelot, forever entranced by Merlin and casual magic, sat up and shuffled around to see better. When Merlin opened his hands, a small bunch of strawberries caught the sunlight.

His shoulders sagged. ‘Three years too late,’ he murmured, closing his eyes.

Gwaine and Lancelot exchanged a glance and Gwaine reached out for Merlin’s fingertips. ‘Are you alright?’

Raising his head, Merlin opened his eyes with a small smile. ‘Yeah. Yeah. I just—You like strawberries, Lance, don’t you?’

Nodding mutely, Lancelot accepted the berries that Merlin hastily deposited into his hands. ‘I thought you did as well?’

‘No, not me. They’re too bittersweet for my liking.’ Merlin dropped his gaze very quickly, returning to Gwaine. ‘I’ll get it right this time, I promise.’

Holding up his hands again, the warlock took a breath and whispered, revealing his palms and a deep red carnation. With something resembling an exaggerated bow, he presented the flower to Gwaine, who smiled and slid it behind Lancelot’s ear. Lancelot, softly munching on the strawberries, beamed back at him as best he could, transferring the smile onto Merlin as the latter made a comment about his angelic appearance.

Merlin, unable to resist the image of Lancelot with the carnation brushing against his hair and strawberry juice smeared across his lips, leaned forward and very gently kissed him like he’d kissed another who’d asked for strawberries so long ago. Beneath his mouth, Lancelot tasted like the burning red of sunsets and he gently withdrew, letting Gwaine sample the rich flavours.

Gwaine was careful not to knock the flower as he cupped Lancelot’s face in his hand, grinning helplessly against him. There was a tenderness in the way both Merlin and Lancelot kissed him, a tenderness that he had spent his whole life hoping for and had never quite managed to obtain. They held him like he was a precious thing, not a makeshift weapon to hurl around, as if he’d crumble under too much pressure. Though perhaps that was just because he had hit his head on a candelabra earlier that day. When he pulled back, he snatched a strawberry from Lancelot’s palm between his teeth and turned his head towards Merlin again.

Merlin, meanwhile, had been conjuring carnations between smiling like an idiot at the two people he loved. He had several in his lap and was weaving the stems together to form a crown. Gwaine shifted so he was lying on his stomach and leaning on his elbows, watching Merlin carefully. Gradually, a pattern was formed of white, pink, and red flowers as Merlin made a delicate circlet and placed it carefully on Gwaine’s head. As Gwaine smiled at him and gingerly rolled over, resting his head in Merlin’s lap in such a way so as not to crush the flowers, Merlin leaned down and kissed him.

Now it was Lancelot smiling like an idiot at the two people he loved.

He reached out for his satchel and shuffled a little further back to lean against a tree. Glancing down, he untied the strings around the leather journal and slipped out a blank leaf, rummaging around in his satchel for a stick of charcoal. Then, Lancelot looked up again, and began to sketch.

Merlin was very much enjoying the soft weight of Gwaine’s head in his lap. He was entranced by the subtle movements of his mouth as he caught Merlin up with all of the shenanigans of the past week that he hadn’t already heard from Arthur as Merlin’s fingers absent-mindedly moved along Gwaine’s exposed collarbone. He was faintly aware of a discreet scratching and looked up, eyes snagging on Lancelot. Concealing a smile, he reassumed the position he’d been to make the task easier for Lancelot. Lancelot deserved to be draped in nature’s hues himself, but neither Merlin nor Gwaine had a clue how to capture his ethereal form with such accuracy.

murder boyfriends:

Feeling something hard press against him as he shifted slightly, Gwaine lifted his jacket over his head and saw two objects that he’d forgotten he’d left in the inner pocket. Sliding up, he sat in Merlin’s lap and leaned against him as he withdrew the offending objects.

The flames stretched across Merlin’s fingers flickered out as he looked at Gwaine with interest. ‘What have you got there?’

‘A knife,’ Gwaine replied, opening his palm.

Lancelot had thrown down his drawing and scrambled over to the two of them. ‘No.’

‘No what?’ asked Merlin innocently.

Lancelot looked at Gwaine as he spoke. ‘We are not teaching Merlin how to use a knife out here.’

‘Oh, no,’ Gwaine agreed. ‘As much of a rebel as I am, I am not one to endorse the vandalism of nature.’

Breathing a sigh of relief, Lancelot moved to return to the tree he had been leaning against when Merlin held out his arms. ‘Come and sit here, we miss you.’

‘I’m only six feet away,’ Lancelot said with a soft smile.

He made the mistake of looking at both Gwaine and Merlin for several moments longer and, relenting, gathered his materials and returned to the two of them. Obligingly, Gwaine stretched out his legs and Lancelot rested his head on his thighs, drawing his knees towards his chest to act as a worktop for his painting. Merlin sent a warm breeze over to him and Lancelot looked around, the carnation still peeking out behind his ear, to blow him a kiss.

Gwaine, now everyone was settled, handed one knife to Merlin and slid a second across the grass towards Lancelot. ‘A knife each for my murder boyfriends.’

Putting down the painting for the moment, Lancelot picked up the weapon and unsheathed it. The blade stuck temporarily before breaking free from the casing and he turned it over in his hand. ‘What’s brought this on?’

‘The best gift I can give you both is protection until my dying breath. But sometimes I’m not always there. And I thought, what with Morgana being out there, you could use a weapon to have on you just in case an attack comes unexpectedly. Also Gwen wants her sewing scissors back, Merlin. And a knife is much more effective for stabbing.’

Merlin looked down at him. ‘Do you have one?’

Gwaine shook his foot – and Lancelot in the process – in response. ‘Always carry one in my boot. Just in case.’

Sheathing the weapon, Lancelot inched closer to Gwaine. ‘The best gift you can give us is yourself.’

‘Which I have given you all of, many times over,’ Gwaine quietly said.

‘We know,’ Merlin whispered with the breeze. ‘And we are eternally appreciative of that. And thank you for the knife, it’s almost as beautiful as you are.’

Lancelot’s fingers found Gwaine’s cheek and Merlin’s chin as he drew towards them, smearing paint across their skin like they were both blank canvases to sketch the song of his heart on. ‘I can offer you both nothing but the fierce passion you encourage me to wield and the sword in my hand. Well, the sword I usually have in my hand.’

‘And as this seems to be a group activity now,’ Merlin murmured, ‘I can only offer you the oath that I will keep you both safe or die alongside you.’

As Gwaine pulled himself up, the three of them leaned in together to touch foreheads once more, their faces smudged with smiles and paint and the slow death of the sun.

[weakforarwen]

Gwaine

This was a cool episode! But why do all the boys who appreciate Merlin, and know how treat him well, leave? First Lancelot, now Gwaine... Poor Merlin, he really liked Gwaine! They both lost their fathers before getting a chance to know them, don’t care for titles or pretentious and cruel knights, aren’t afraid of breaking rules, etc.. They got along so well!

Both Lancelot and Gwaine really contrast with Arthur in their treatment of Merlin, but couldn’t be any more different in other ways. All Lancelot wanted was to be a knight, yet couldn’t because he wasn’t a nobleman. To Lancelot, a Knight’s code was their honor, and all knights were noble in the most romantic sense of the word. He believed in dying for a greater cause, or person, and that being a Knight would give his life purpose. He was responsible, yet, in his need to prove himself, he got into trouble and ended up having to fight his way out of it.

Gwaine, on the other hand, was a nobleman who wanted anything but to become a knight. To him, nobility wasn’t a title - it was earned, and anyone could be noble. He didn’t believe in dying for any prince or king. He was also flighty and fought his way out of captivity like Lancelot, but he was looking for trouble, and not for a chance to prove himself. 

It’s funny that Arthur is almost a mix of the two in his beliefs. He’s a nobleman and was raised to believe that only noblemen could be knights and that nobility was something noble people were born with. Yet, he also grew to believe that anyone could be noble, and being noble of heart was the only requisite to becoming a knight. Like Lancelot, he believed all knights were noble, so it was a great honor to be one. But, like Gwaine, he also believed anyone could be noble and that titles shouldn’t hold so much weight - one didn’t need to be a knight to be noble.

Poor Merlin has it rough being a servant. As if Arthur doesn’t give Merlin enough to do, he has to pimp him out to other noblemen too. And Gaius even said Arthur treated Merlin well! Maybe compared to other noblemen he did, but, if so, the standards were truly on the floor. Arthur threw a metal cup at Merlin - that shit hurts. Gaius might think Arthur’s a good “master”, but Gwaine disagrees. I guess this is a case of the old vs. new guard. Ironically though, when Gwaine becomes a knight, he and the other knights lowkey bully Merlin - power gets to people, and they follow Arthur’s example.

Merlin is so funny though, always telling Arthur what absolute bullshit the melees are. I love seeing Merlin happy. After watching season 5, I forgot what a happy Merlin looked like. He really wanted Gwaine to stay... Gwaine was a good ally, and, unlike Arthur, understood him and talked to him as an equal. By the end of the episode, Gwaine got why Merlin would die for Arthur and was willing to do the same. He also saw what Merlin did for Arthur, and Merlin deserved more people who recognized his efforts and loyalty. 

It was a bit on the nose, though, how everyone was hyping Arthur up, from Merlin to Guinevere - but there was a clear difference between Merlin and Guinevere’s approach. When Merlin defended Arthur, it was more... casual, perhaps? He was definitely much too earnest and passionate to defend someone who treated him so poorly half the time, but he understood Gwaine’s pov very well  He knew Arthur was a prat... Still, honestly, when Merlin talked about Arthur, he reminded me of a puppy who was very proud of his owner. Sometimes, I can’t understand what Merlin saw in Arthur, especially considering in this very episode he threw a cup at the back of his head. 

Anyway, when Gwen was defending Arthur, the vibe was different. It was softer yet passionate, and deadly serious. The words tumbled out of Gwen like she couldn’t keep them in, and she got this far away look in her eyes - one of longing, like she knew Arthur would become a great King one day, but didn’t believe she’d ever get to be by his side for it. Nevertheless, she was proud and content to root for Arthur from afar, and to support him in any way she could. Essentially, she looked like a woman in love with a man destined for something greater than her. 

Gwen’s pov of Arthur is different from Merlin’s in many regards, but one key difference is that Arthur treats Gwen a lot better than he treats Merlin. 

I still agree with Gwaine though - no royal is worth dying for.

I love how Merlin collects men with his bubbly personality and kindness. Lancelot and Gwaine were Merlin’s boys first, before they began respecting Arthur too.

Bonus Arwen: Gwen was so worried for Arthur! It must be so distressing loving someone like him. It’s bad enough for Merlin, but at least he knows when Arthur’s in danger and can help him. Gwen is mostly powerless... In that last scene with Gwaine, she was probably thanking him for saving Arthur, as well as wishing him well in the future. 

Side-note, Arthur’s jealousy when he watched them was kinda cute. He didn’t stay to watch the whole thing though - he was a bit jealous, but shrugged it off easily enough, and then proceeded to roughhouse Merlin in that cute way of his that makes you wanna forgive him for being a douche the rest of the time. Oh, Arthur... you’re so complicated, aren’t you?

I can’t help but think that Gwaine and Gwen would’ve been terrible together. She does like her men to be brave and principled, and Gwaine is brave and somewhat principled, but he’s too much of a wildcard. He’d stress her out. He’s probably too much like her brother. 

Finally, another thing I liked about the episode, and in many other episodes, is that Arthur lost a fight. In a lot of ways, Arthur is just a slightly above average person in the right position, alive at the right time, with the right people backing him up.

[queerofthedagger]

Morgwen, Merwaine, Gwapple, Gwaine/Percival, Merlin/Arthur/Gwen

Wow alright, thanks so much for the ask! ❤️ I’m going to put most of this under a cut so it doesn’t get too long,

Morgwen

when I started shipping it if I did:

I basically liked them from the start, but only got really invested in it when @atlantablack dragged me into the angst-potential of the ship without any mercy. ❤️

my thoughts:

Pre-season 3 they’re cute, but then this ship offers so much potential for angst and heartbreak, it’s fantastic. All that pain of betrayal and being torn between love and convictions/loyalty, and how you can mourn someone who’s still alive but... doesn’t exist anymore in the way you loved them.

what makes me happy about them:

On the first glance, they look like they both got their shit together, but actually they’re a chaotic duo that you really shouldn’t mess with.

what makes me sad about them:

How they ended; from a certain point onward, it’s nearly impossible to give them a happy ending. While I love that about the ship, they do both deserve to be happy so... yeah.

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

When Gwen’s made out as a pushover who yields too easily to Morgana, or when Morgana’s actions are glossed over or excused too easily.

things I look for in fanfic:

All the conflict, all the angst. Either forgiveness that’s worked for, or none at all. To me, this is a lovers-to-enemies ship, and I want the whole mess that involves.

who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

I’m really fond of Gwen/Leon or Gwen/Gwaine, and I don’t really ship Morgana with anyone else tbh.

my happily ever after for them:

As you might’ve guessed by now, I’m not really into them for the happy endings, but if I had to pick one, it would probably be something along the lines of them sorting themselves out over season 3 or 4.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: 

Gwen’s the big spoon, a relict from the time she comforted Morgana through her nightmares.

what is their favourite non-sexual activity:

Sparring! They’re both really good with a sword, and love training together.

Merwaine

when I started shipping it if I did:

I don’t really ship them much tbh. I can see them having a friends with benefits thing going on which Gwaine is more invested in than Merlin.

my thoughts:

I love them as a friendship, and I also think there were some unrequited feelings from Gwaine’s side, which is fun to explore.

what makes me happy about them:

They’re such a chaotic duo, and I love them getting up to all sorts of mischief.

what makes me sad about them:

I personally don’t think they would be happy with each other long-term, and if I stay with my own headcanons, it’s definitely sad that Gwaine was left pining after Merlin while Merlin probably remained oblivious to it. Of course, losing Gwaine still would’ve hit Merlin hard which is also just sad.

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

I don’t really read fic for them.

things I look for in fanfic:

See above.

who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

Merlin: Arthur, Leon, Mithian

Gwaine: Elyan, Gwen, Elena

my happily ever after for them:

Gwaine gets over his feelings and they stay good friends while being happy in their respective relationships.

who is the big spoon/little spoon:

I think they would switch a lot.

what is their favourite non-sexual activity:

Going out for drinks, then roaming the streets when nearly nobody else is out anymore and causing a lot of, mostly harmless, mischief.

Gwapple

when I started shipping it if I did:

Hahaha. I don’t, really, though it cracks me up.

my thoughts:

Every fandom needs a food-crack-ship, and we couldn’t ask for a better one.

what makes me happy about them:

Uuuh. Gwaine deserves good things, so why not apples?

what makes me sad about them:

No apple lasts long. Poor Gwaine.

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

..... let’s see. When the apple doesn’t have solid characterization. 😔

things I look for in fanfic:

Gwaine getting all the love and appreciation he deserves 😂

who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

No one. Gwapple or no one, of course.

my happily ever after for them:

Gwaine on an apple farm.

who is the big spoon/little spoon:

Oh my god. The apple is the big spoon, obviously. 😂

what is their favourite non-sexual activity:

Picnics. ✨

Gwaine/Percival

when I started shipping it if I did:

I’m not really invested in it either way, but mostly through fandom after I watched the show.

my thoughts:

It’s a fun ship, and they’re very cute!

what makes me happy about them:

I think they’d be good for each other and balance each other out very well.

what makes me sad about them:

Gwaine’s death-scene. God.

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

I... don’t really have an opinion either way. When it feels as if the ship is only there to pair them off somehow, I guess.

things I look for in fanfic:

See above; I don’t really search fic for them specifically, but if they’re there, I like to see that they’re together because they fit each other well.

who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: 

Gwaine: Elyan, Gwen, Elena

Percy: I’m kind of fond of Percival/Freya!

my happily ever after for them:

They live long happy lives. Yes, the bar is low.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: 

Mostly, Percy is the big spoon, but sometimes Gwaine wraps himself around him like an octopus and Percy actually loves it.

what is their favourite non-sexual activity:

This is really basic, but I think taking rides around Camelot and challenging each other in training.

Merlin/Arthur/Gwen

when I started shipping it if I did:

I’m not really invested in this either, but season 5 gave me some vibes and then I kind of absorbed it through fandom eventually. 

my thoughts:

I think they’re very cute and would have an interesting dynamic if done a certain way.

what makes me happy about them:

They all deserve good things, and I think they’d make each other incredibly happy.

what makes me sad about them:

The whole tragedy of how they ended; the idea of a poly-relationship where at least one part eventually dies is just... oof.

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

If the relationship between the three isn’t balanced, or if it’s made out to be super-easy once they agreed to it. Relationships generally take work, and a poly-relationships specifically requires a lot of open, honest conversations and reflecting on yourself. I want to see the struggle with that.

things I look for in fanfic:

See above.

who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

Gwen: Morgana, Gwaine, Lancelot if it’s done a specific way

Arthur: Merlin

Merlin: Arthur, Leon, Mithian

my happily ever after for them:

Arthur survives Camlann, and they happily rule Camelot together for years to come.

who is the big spoon/little spoon:

Arthur is the smallest spoon, Merlin’s the middle-spoon, and Gwen’s the big spoon.

what is their favourite non-sexual activity:

Anything that involves getting out of Camelot for a bit, picnics, enjoying the calm and peace of the forest. Also, they’re all addicted to cuddling and you can find them in a pile of limbs more often than not.

send me a ship or a character and I’ll tell you what I think!