#and nothing could have happened between Merlin and gwen without Arthur for all that they loved him

[keitorin3]

Short: Finding Merlin

Arthur: What do you mean you can't find Merlin?

Leon: I mean we can't find him, Sire. We've asked all the servants and before you ask, yes we've checked the Tavern.

Arthur: *Paces* Then search the forests I want him found understood!?

Leon: Yes Sire. *Walks out the door but hears the King mutter*

Arthur: *mutters* Idiot thinks he can escape this marriage... Ha just wait until I show him his wedding robes, he'll look like a noble and absolutely hate it. 👰🏻‍♂️

Leon: *suffers and leaves quickly*

Gwaine: So what did the princess do this time?

Leon: Apparently he gave Merlin his mother's sigil awhile back and Merlin only just found out, thanks to Gwen, what a noble offering a sigil means to their intended.

Gwaine: No way! The princess proposed marriage to Merlin without even telling him?!

Leon the long suffering: Indeed. Merlin is a commoner and while he has improved since he first arrived here, he still doesn't know all the intricacies of nobility.

Gwaine: So Merlin got mad and went off to who knows where?

Leon: It would seem.

Gwaine: How long do we have before his royalness starts going off to find Merlin himself?

Random Servant: *Shouts* The King is gone!

Gwaine: ... 😅

Leon: ... 😭

Merlin: *Returns dragging an unconscious and dirty Arthur on horseback*

Gwen: Oh, what happened? Did you get attacked? Are you both OK? Where have you been Merlin? Everyone has been looking for you.

Merlin: I'm ok Gwen, I went to talk about something important. Nothing bad happened, I left a note with Gaius on where I went.

Elyan: Ah, he got called on an emergency birth with one of the down town ladies, hasn't been back yet.

Merlin: *Huffs* And so that was reason for this idiot to go off and start a kingdom wide hunt for me? The Dollphead...

Gwen: *sigh* We did try to tell him he was being a bit paranoid. But he thought after your argument on the sigil he might have scared you off... *Looks to the unconscious King resting on the horse* What happened to him?

Merlin: Pfft, *smirks* the King fainted.

Elyan: He... Fainted...

Merlin: Yup. I found the idiot riding like a madman and when he finally calmed down enough to actually listen to me I told him I just went off to talk with Kilgharrah and Aithusa.

Gwen: Ok, that explains where you went, but then what happened to make Arthur faint?

Merlin: Aha, well... 😅

[BEFORE, IN THE FOREST]

Arthur: So what was it that you need to talk to dragons for? Did you get your answers? *Trying and failing not to stare at Merlin while walking beside him*

Merlin: Hmm I did *Reaches out to grasp Arthur's hand and paused their walking*

Arthur: Merlin?

Merlin: *Breathes deeply before taking something from his pocket and into Arthur's hand*

Arthur's heart dropped when he felt a round shape of a coin and it showed in his eyes what he believes this to be.

Merlin: *Noticed Arthur's sudden sad mood, rolled his eyes* Dollphead, opened your hand before jumping to conclusions! 🙄

Arthur: *Opens hand* Wait, is this...

Merlin: *Squirms and fidgets* I wanted to ask Kilgharrah about Dragon Lord Courting triditions. And well, he wasn't too informed in that but knew of Dragon Lords giving a Dragon scale as gifts and I asked Aithusa for one of hers, being her Dragon Lord after all... And well he said I could shape it, so I used my magic to carve it and well, being a dragon lord and you a Pendragon I thought why not Twin dragons?

In Arthurs hand was a white-silver sigil that shines faintly with Twin dragons circling each other and behind them he recognises the druids triskel symbol.

Arthur: *In Awe and too speechless for words*

Merlin: It also is embedded with my magic and acts like a... Connection between us. I'll be to find you as long as you have it and you'll be able to find me. My magic would guide you. Maybe then you won't have to go on a kingdom wide search for me. *Laughs*

Arthur: *Smiles* Heh, so a Merlin Finder? About time, do you know how hard it is to find idiot warlocks lately?

Merpin: *Smiles fondly* Prat.

Merlin: *Looks serious* That's not all either. Arthur, your a prat and a dollop head. I know I tell you you're always a bit thick in the head but I never knew how much until I realised the significance of your mother's sigil. You had to go about proposing to me in the most infuriating way without even telling me.

Merlin: But I know more then anyone how good of a man you are, how much you work to be fair to your people. And the thought of you having those kind of feelings for me was too good to be true. Because I would have said yes. Always I'd say yes. I feel like I was born to love you Arthur. Prophecys and destiny may play a part, but I would always chose you.

Arthur: *Dumbfounded*

Merlin: *Rolls his eyes* I'm proposing cabbagehead. I'll marry you. ❤️💍

Arthur: ... 😳🤯💞 *Faints and falls into a puddle*

Merlin: ...

[END OF FLASHBACK]

Merlin: *Blushes with a laugh* I accepted his proposal. He ended up going into shock after and fell over into a small puddle.

Gwen: Oh! 😃 Merlin I'm so happy for you!

Elyan: Yeah, cheers mate. *Mutters to himself* Thank god all the pining is over.

Arthur: *Wakes up* I had the most fantastic dream! Merlin gave me a sigil and accepted my proposal~!

Merlin: *Speaks from the fireplace* It wasn't a dream Arthur!

Arthur: 😍 You love me! 💖

Merlin: 🙄❤️ *Walks up and kisses Arthur* Yes I do.

Arthur: 💘🥴💕 Merlin Loves me~! Merlin will marry me~

Merlin: *Fond and in love* 🥰

The (Merlin's) Knights: FINALLY!

Castle Servants: FINALLY!

All of Camelot: FINALLY!

Kilgharrah: The two halves have finally become one.

Aithusa: *Chirps*

[gd-dollopole]

Why I believe Arthur isn’t attracted to women and my not so deep analysis over it (this is my personal opinion, and a mess, so bear with me)

Hear me out.

Not only Arthur is a very constipated man over pretty much everything, doesn’t show or openly says what he feels, especially in the first two seasons, but he doesn’t even have friends, except those that he is supposed to have because he is a regent, and later a king. His father is even worse, thought him nothing if hatred and repression, so we can say he sucks at socialisation, and I may or may not be projecting here, but I know what it feels like to be out of your bubble and enter the world feeling completely out of yourself, which is why Arthur is attached to the hip with Merlin, and is he so enamoured, attracted, shocked with him during their first encounter.

Back to my point, he is socially awkward, but I don’t believe that is the reason behind why he acts the way he acts towards every single woman character in the TV show. (his own bloody wife included)

Arthur doesn’t like women, repertory A:

First kiss with Gwen. Lovely, I always smile when I see it, but why. Like, Arthur thought he was going through with his death, just received a token of affection that no one had ever dared give to him, felt appreciated, like a beaten kid who receives his first hug, and thought: “Okay, well, might kiss her too, isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?” , dipped for a peck, and FLED RIGHT AFTER. His face showed no emotion, he basically just gave a shrug when he realised he and Gwen couldn’t be together and went on with his day. And honestly, if it wasn’t for the amazing soundtrack, I would just stare at the screen with a flat face during their first kiss. You can feel the difference between this scene and the one where Lancelot saves Gwen and tells her to run, and they kiss before they part, and THERE you can feel the longing, understand why there had to be a parting kiss. Arthur almost feels relieved that Uther won’t let him stay with Gwen after he survives, but whatever.

Repertory B:

Arthur, even if enchanted, stills asks Merlin for advices on “feelings” and “girrlllss”. This doesn’t need explaining.

Repertory C:

Men can be shy, obviously, even with women, but, as I cited above, Arthur has no idea how to socialise. His friends, hell, even his relationship with Morgana, wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for Merlin. So explain to me why Arthur doesn’t even look at Gwen until he has to, and goes around NOT CARING about women, unless Uther is the one throwing them at him, and then caves when a pretty man appears on the screen. I also believe this is the directors’ fault, who tried so hard to make the relationship between Gwen and Arthur real, that they just made a gay show, but Arthur, when he had more worrisome things to think about, he didn’t care about women, or girls, or courtship, in the slightest, until Elena gets in the picture and he has to think about marriage and a future with his queen, again. I firmly believe Arthur chose Gwen not because he loved her romantically, but because to him, she was the best choice amongst everyone else.

Repertory D:

The Knights of the Round Table. Arthur, a prince that throughout all three seasons has an hard time even speaking openly to Merlin without making fun of him, or to Gwen, suddenly fights his father over Lancelot (because he admired him quickly, and couldn’t understand that because of his sexuality, he felt very comfortable around a thoughtful man like him), drools over Percival the first time he meets him, probably thinking of how nice it could be to jump the giant like a tree, and has a love hate relationship with Gwaine, because Gwaine is everything Arthur envies. Free, open, and in a close relationship with Merlin, (a man) that Arthur forbids himself to have. (also, nice hair)

Repertory E:

Mithian. Arthur doesn’t spare a glance at a single woman in the show. He does it with Gwen (poorly) because he feels he needs to, and once again avoids marriage, and acts like a complete panic around Mithian in the entirety of the episode where she is introduced. He can’t take her compliment when he meets her the first time; he doesn’t realise that standing outside a woman’s chamber for that long can mean something else; he is affronted of having burped in front of her, not because he likes her and she is a woman, but because Arthur’s ego is too huge; this man has no clue over: “how to act around women”, because to him, women are people he isn’t attracted to. As simple as that. He finds Morgause irritating and not beautiful, like many others, because to him, she is just another very good warrior who has beaten his ass.

Repertory F:

Arthur doesn’t have sex with Gwen (oh, hot take). We never see them languidly stare at each other (unlike the eye fucking that happens between Merlin and Arthur. That’s not sexual tension that can be cut with a knife, it’s a wall of homosexuality where Arthur often bangs his head on) Yes, this show was very chaste, but definitely not intended for kids (see innuendos), so how could someone who should be close to Gwen, in any way possible, doesn’t recognise that his wife is bloody enchanted and she is trying to kill him? No, you don’t need to have sex with someone to understand that they want you dead and that they drastically changed their personality, but my brother in christ, this just proves me that Arthur was attracted to the idea of a peaceful kingdom, ruled together with an intelligent, fierce, and good woman by his side, rather than attracted, attracted to Gwen per se. The rest of the time he just followed Merlin around like a puppy. He married for love? I believe he married his best friend Gwen so that he didn’t have to go through the process of having kids. The heir had never been the problem. If it was for Arthur, he would have married Merlin the instant he met him in the market during the first episode.

Repertory G:

Do we see Arthur openly complimenting the women in the show? No. Also, because it’s not the point of the show. The point of the show is the homosexual relationship Arthur has with his serv—(he does it with Gwen and probably Mithian, because she is objectively beautiful, but I can’t remember other instances)

Last but not least:

Merlin.

Separately, Arthur, and here I’m adding Gwen, too, are both complex and well thought characters, lacking many things and contradicting themselves during the show, always because of how they were badly written in a lot of episodes. The Arwen scenes are lovely, but they don’t bring out anything. They don’t make you hope, giggle, despair, cry, because to me, there is nothing there to be tragic over. They just needed to fill a gap so that the people who didn’t like the idea of Merlin and Arthur together romantically would have something else to watch. Which is also the main ship of the show and it makes everything more hilarious, because they fucked it up so bad, LMAO.

The more you try not to make something gay, you just make it even gayer that what you had originally planned.

I had so many other points, but my ADHD said no. So if you want to add something else, feel free to do it!

[nuwanda24]

Take Me to Church - Merlin

Just realised how perfect Hozier's Take Me to Church fits Merlin:

"A fresh poison each week" - it's meant metaphorically, but we all know how literal that is in the context of Merlin. There's not a single week that goes by without some magical threat or someone trying to poison/otherwise assassinate Arthur

"We were born sick, you heard them say it" - Merlin was born with magic, he's magic incarnate; Arthur on the other hand only got conceived through magic, so they were both "born sick" from Uther's of view

"If I'm a pagan of the good times" - Merlin basically is a God of the Old Religion, a pagan belief that symbolises the "good time" in which magic was free

"My lover's the sunlight" - Arthur is, as is well established in the fandom, extremely sun-coded, not only visualy with his golden hair. He is the crown prince, later king, everybody looks up to him while noone dares to come too close (despite Merlin). He burns with an incredible brightness for his people, for Camelot, but in the end, he burns out, just as every sun will do eventually. Merlin, on the other hand, is the night or moon to Arthur's sun. He keeps in Arthur's shadow, never seeking attention or retribution for all that he has done. He has to work in the dark in order to ensure that Arthur and by extend Camelot can be safe. He hates it (remember his rant in S3E11 "I hate it, to be the most powerful person I know and to have to act like a shadow, to be special and to have to play the fool"), but he willingly and glady sacrifices his own light so that Arthur's can burn brighter.

"To keep the goddess on my side" - I don't remember if this is canon or just something that most of the fanfics I've read agreed on, but the Triple Goddess is presumably responsible for the whole prophecy regarding Emrys and the Once and Future King, and Merlin needs to keep her on his side, in order to fulfill his destiny.

"She demands a sacrifice" - this could either be the Cailleach in S4E1-2 The Darkest Hour who demands a life as sacrifice to close the veil between the world of the living and the dead; or it is about Arthur, who needs to die in order to be able to rise again in Albion's greatest time of need.

The Bridge is: "No masters or kings when the ritual begins / There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin / In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene / Only then, I am human, only then, I am clean". - that part is less concret, but it still reminds me of Arthur's death scene - only Arthur and Merlin are left to witness it, there are no knights, no Gwen, no Camelot, no titles or rank, nothing but the two of them and their love for each other, the bond they share. And I think that in many instances Arthur was the one who kept Merlin in touch with his humanity. Yes, he was also the reason why Merlin crossed boundary after boundary, making him hate himself more and more and making him believe himself to be a monster, but I don't think he's ever felt as human (and as powerless) as the moment he felt Arthur die in his arms.

And then there's the chorus: "I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies" - Merlin worships Arthur, there's nothing he wouldn't do for that man, no matter how much he insults him or how hypocritical his actions might be. Arthur can break any promise, tell any lie (not that he does that very often), Merlin will still be there. And in the end, like Odysseus' dog Argus, he waited and waited on the shores of Avalon for the day that Arthur might finally come back to him.

"I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife" - I mean, that's literally what happens. Merlin tells Arthur about his powers, and you can't tell me that he wouldn't have allowed him (after he'd have forced him to get healed and ensured that Arthur would live) to put any punishment upon him, even death, that he wouldn't have preferred to die by Arthur's knife than to have to live without him.

"Offer me that deathless death, oh, good God, let me give you my life" - how often does Merlin offer his own life for Arthur's? From the very episode on, he throws himself between his prince and everything and everyone trying to harm him, from knives over curses, to drinking poison and Dorochas. And there were so many instances where he should have died but didn't, suffering (or surviving) a deathless death.

The song just perfectly depicts Merlin's (unhealthy) devotion to his king, and how that feeds on his soul.

[whydon-twego]

Merlin has succeeded in his intention. The Golden Age is beginning, Arthur is alive and Gwen is at his side, everyone knows he possesses magic and no one intends to harm him for it, Morgana is defeated and now there is only a need to return home, rest, pay respect and mourn for those who died in battle and then finally celebrate and see a rosy future. Merlin could not be happier. Nor more alone. He watches Arthur and Gwen stand side by side, waving to the crowd, cheering the beginning of a new era, and thanking Merlin for all he has done, for all he has ever done, and his heart is filled with joy when he hears the king withdraw the ban on magic in Camelot, at last, he and his people can be free. And now? He can now become Court Sorcerer, and he can continue to help Arthur build the best possible Camelot, but isn't that what any magically gifted person could do? After all this, what is left for Merlin? After his destiny has finally been fulfilled, what is left for him? His heart belongs to two people he can never have and his task is finished. Why stay? He has never seen the world, he has never been among his own people because he has always been too busy keeping up with Arthur, there are a thousand things he could do and see and his heart should only be joyful and not mourn a loss that is not his. A loss that can never be. Because Arthur is Gwen's and Gwen is Arthur's. And there has never been a place for Merlin between them. And with destiny fulfilled, Merlin is now free and can leave Camelot peacefully, knowing that nothing can ever happen to them again. So he decides to leave. Arthur doesn't even want to hear about it and Gwen can't help but ask why, why now when we can finally live in peace? Merlin can't answer. Arthur forbids him to leave. And Arthur is his king and Merlin must obey him, but they both know that it never has been, nor ever will be like this. Merlin decides to leave at night, a few days later, because he does not feel like leaving the city with all eyes on him. He has said goodbye in the previous days to those he had to and will leave the city knowing that he has done what had to be done. And for once he does it for himself. To protect himself. Because his heart is already battered and he would like to stay in Camelot forever near Arthur and Gwen but what kind of life would that be? He knows he will never love anyone like he loves the two of them, but he must give himself the opportunity to move on. Arthur and Gwen decide not to give him that opportunity. "We love you," says Arthur, with the serious face of someone who is delivering important news. "We are in love with you," continues Gwen as Merlin is about to open his mouth and say that he also loves them both very much but that he must leave. "And neither of us can think of a life without you, Merlin, so please stay." and Merlin thinks it is the first time the king's voice seems to plead and waver. The eyes of both monarchs are pleading for him and Merlin cannot believe what he is hearing. But then Arthur is kissing him while Gwen is stroking his hair and then it is Gwen who kisses him while Arthur grabs his arm and makes sure Merlin does not leave. "Stay," they both say.

And Merlin does.

[amber-of-ember-glows]

Title: Somewhere between Then, Now, and When

Merlin loses Arthur twice. Each time is more painful than the other in its unique devastation. Once, on a plain by Avalon, when the world had come to a standstill as Arthur’s heart ceased its rhythm. Then, centuries later, it happens again. Merlin doesn’t realize it until he meets a man with fair hair and blue eyes and thinks, that man looks like Arthur. Days later, he comes across another man fitting the same criteria and again thinks, that man looks like Arthur, too. It doesn’t occur to him until later that the two men look nothing alike and cannot both resemble Arthur in any logical manner. On paper, in written and verbal depictions, they could very well look like Arthur—blond, blue eyes, sharp features—but the stark differences between the two strangers clash in ways that make it impossible for both to resemble Arthur.

Feeling sick to his stomach, Merlin realizes that his memory of Arthur has faded. The feelings of love, loss, and grief still thrum through him, but the image of Arthur has blurred. Tears burn behind his eyes as he tries to uncover memories that are out of his reach. That night, his dreams are plagued by his first life—the most important one. The one that urges him to move forward even when he can find no reason to do so, that has him clinging with all his might to the words Kilgarrah left him with, holding onto hope because it is all he has left.

As if to further torment him, he dreams of everything in perfect clarity. He experiences anew the warmth of Gwen’s smile, the care of Gaius’ gaze, and Gwaine’s hearty laugh. He sees the sturdy castle walls that used to house him, the parapets, the Citadel square, and the statues in it, the familiar forest surrounding Camelot. Everything comes to him in clear detail. Everything except for Arthur. In his dreams, the shape of Arthur in his crown and Pendragon-red cloak stands in stark contrast to the blur of his face, ever-shifting features that refuse to settle and let the image of him sharpen so that Merlin may see him properly.

He wakes feeling worse than he has in a long time, if ever. When Merlin lost Arthur the first time, when he died, he knew what he had lost, was haunted by the image of Arthur, heard and felt him so clearly that for a time he believed that Arthur’s ghost lingered on this plane, that he had been with him even in the aftermath of his death. Facing reality and acknowledging that his grief was making him see and believe things that weren’t so had been debilitating, bedridden him for days. He stopped sleeping because his dream-self had not caught on to the fact that Arthur was gone, and every morning upon waking, he was forced to feel the loss again, had no choice but to agonizingly remember once more that Arthur had drawn his last breath, had eaten his last meal, had shed his last tear and smiled his last smile. All before he had made it to the age of thirty.

Every day, Merlin faced how long a life was ahead of him in the bereavement of Arthur. Every day, he forced himself not to wish for Albion’s downfall just so Arthur would have a reason to return to him. Every day, he was haunted and blessed by Arthur’s face and voice. He never imagined there would come a day that he would have to live without even the memory of those. He feels cold and hollow in their absence, nothing more than a shell of a man. Despite the emptiness, he feels too big for his skin, his body too tightly wound around him, his lungs clambering for air in their tight confinements. You forgot him! a voice in his head throws at him, accusatorily. The truth of it cuts him open, brands him with unfamiliar guilt so unlike any he has ever dealt with—and he has dealt with plenty—that it threatens to undo him. But like with everything else, he learns how to live with it, learns how to carry that added weight wherever he goes, soothes himself with the fact that even though he does not remember every dip and peak of Arthur's face, cannot recall the finer details of it, he still loves Arthur dearly, would still do whatever it takes for him. And that will have to be enough. For now.

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 3

Propaganda Under Cut

Suzi Q

This article is incomplete; you help by expanding it

All she's literally ever done is have a few cute exchanges with Joseph and be a sweetheart in the short time we get to see her following her minor introduction, clearly cementing some sort of playful attraction between the two and without fail she's consistently bombarded with extreme mischaracterization to make her seem vapid and cruel (and occasionally homophobic but like in a Completely Oblivious Dumb Blonde way), that she's nothing more than a gold digger who wanted to marry rich, that Joseph only married her because "he lost his actual soulmate and had to settle for her", and that it was HER fault that Joseph cheated on her decades into their marriage. Frankly, everyone who makes jokes at Suzi Q's expense regarding the cheating scandal aren't as funny as they think they are!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Literally all she’s ever done is be adorable and marry the hero and people either dismiss her completely or demonize her. She’s often ignored or made to play wing woman for the hero/sidekick ship OR she’s a horrible gold digger who only wants the hero for his money and/or she was only ever just a consolation prize for him when he couldn’t be with his sidekick. She also gets blamed for her husband having an affair. People like to say that she wasn’t good enough for him and could never replace his sidekick and that clearly he never REALLY loved her and it’s her fault for never measuring up. Her husband’s infidelity aside, she stayed married to that man for at least 60 years and canonically says she always believes in him and trusts him to save the day and yet people wanna say she doesn’t care about him. Or call her stupid for never imagining that her husband would cheat on her. The victim blaming gets really gross. 

Gwen

She stands in the way of Merthur, by far the most popular ship in the fandom. I haven’t seen it as much in recent years, but back in the days of fanfiction.net she got slut shamed so badly for having been romantically interested in three of the male characters over the course of the show, which is just... normal straight woman behavior, meanwhile Merlin crushed on pretty much every woman who even looked at him in the early seasons of the show and got no hate for that whatsoever. I barely even read Merthur fics (not because it’s m/m, just because certain aspects of their relationship don’t appeal to me) but the “Gwen is a slut” attitude was so pervasive across the fandom, even fics that weren’t explicitly anti-Gwen would “jokingly” call her a slut. I even saw a few fics demonizing her for having an affair with Lancelot despite the fact that SHE WAS ENCHANTED when that happened, and surprise surprise, Lancelot (who was also under the influence of magic) got none of that hate, and neither did Arthur, who got enchanted to fall in love with multiple women over the course of the show.

Canonically Arthur Pendragon's love interest and an important and interesting character in the show who's completely shoved aside and ignored in favour of the medieval bbc yaoi ship. At best they put her and Morgana in Lesbian Timeout (ie make them get together and then reduce them to wingwomen at best because god forbid we focus on the medieval bbc yuri). Justice for Gwen right now!

She is prince Arthur's love interest (eventually wife). Arthur is MADLY in love with her. He tells his tyrannical father he would give up his crown to be with her (she's a servant in the series). He forgives her cheating on him with Lancelot (!), which in the show is caused by an evil enchantment, but the characters never find out about it. He chooses her time and time again. His love for Gwen is literally never put into question. Many fans insist to this day that there was no chemistry between Gwen and Arthur compared to Arthur and Merlin. Arthur isn’t even particularly nice to Merlin most of the time! The funny thing is that Merlin himself ships these two so hard and does everything he can to help them get together!! Gwen & Arthur are adorable and too many fans were drunk on the yaoi fumes to see it. ARTHUR WAS A SIMP FOR GWEN.

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Morgana AU Pt 5

After what seems an interminable time, Gaius withdraws, leaving Gwen alone by the bedside. "I have done all I can," he says softly, "for now."

Kara barely looks up from her seat beside Morgana's cot, but Gwen utters a soft thank you.

"I shall go and update the king," the man continues. "I'll see to it that you are not disturbed."

In the quiet that follow his departure, Kara takes up a clean cloth and dips it into a bowl of water, and begins to clean Morgana's wrists. They are raw and weeping-- she must have been in the stocks from the moment they were separated, Kara realizes. Gwen does the same for the reddened band of skin at Morgana's neck, where it too had been rubbed raw by the stocks.

"What's going to happen now?" Kara murmurs quietly.

That Morgana will survive is an assumption they share, for Gwen's response cuts straight to the heart of the matter.

"I don't know," she says. "I don't deny she doesn't deserve punishment for her crimes, but... hasn't she been punished enough?"

Kara's gaze drifts back to the wrist in her hands, where new injury overlaps the old scars of iron manacles. She exhales, reminded of Lena, who had committed wrongs yet paid for them and more a hundred times over.

"I suppose that's not for us to decide," Kara observes quietly. "Is Arthur...?"

"He's not a cruel man," Gwen confirms, before her features grow solemn. "Or, at least he wasn't. That he would welcome a man like Sarrum into his castle... perhaps things have changed more than I thought."

Setting aside her damo cloth, Kara simply takes a moment to hold Morgana's hand in hers.

She could not say what may happen next, that much is certain. All she can promise is that, whatever happens-- Morgana will not face it alone.

---

They are allowed to keep vigil throughout the night without interruption, but early the following morning a knock sounds at the door. On the other side is Arthur, with dark circles under his eyes and looking far more haggard than a king ought to be.

"May I sit with her?" he asks.

Kara leaves the answer to Gwen, who steps aside to give him entrance. Beyond the door Kara catches a glimpse of Merlin, looking worried but making no move to trail inside behind his master.

"Thank you," Arthur says softly when Gwen closes the door firmly behind him. "I know I shouldn't-- I should... but I--"

"She's your sister," Gwen echoes his own words back at him. "And your friend."

"Or she was," Arthur observes. Gwen nods him towards the stool she'd vacated, and Arthur takes his seat. His hand twitches towards Morgana's as she yet sleeps, but ultimately is gripped by the other. "I never wished for that to change, and yet..."

"We've all made our choices."

Arthur blinks up at her, but says nothing. The history between them, between all three of them, hangs heavy and unspoken in the air. Kara remains quiet.

"What of the other prisoners--?"

"Freed," Arthur says quickly.

"And Sarrum?" Gwen presses, barely containing the poison in her voice.

Arthur pauses at that.

"Contained, for now." He swallows thickly. "He has related the manner of his... history, with Morgana."

"And you allow him to live?" Kara speaks up for the first time, anger sharpening her words. Arthur looks at her in surprise. "The man is a monster--"

"With a sizeable force outside my walls," Arthur points out. "I must tread carefully."

"He thought you would welcome a handful of druids for your pyres, Arthur," Gwen murmurs. "Why?"

Arthur shakes his head. "There have been no executions during my reign--"

"And yet he brought us to you in shackles!"

"He is used to treating with my father!" Arthur snaps, bristling before calming once more. "I cannot control how others perceive me--"

"You can. You can if your policies no longer target vulnerable people just trying to live their lives. They weren't harming anyone--"

"I know. I know. But if policy changes before the people are ready--"

"Your people are dying! Not by magic, but by the cruelty of your would-be allies," Gwen points out. "You are the king-- you set the example, or others will set it for you."

Instead of responding with the indignation Kara expects, Arthur seems to deflate a little. He exhales, turning his gaze back towards Morgana.

"I know."

[tairona-is-taken]

So I finally finished Merlin ...

I had seen parts of the show over the last 15 years and loved the parts I saw, but for some reason, I never sat down and made an effort to watch it from beginning to end until last summer. Anyway, I finally got to the finale a few days ago. I knew what was going to go down already because I am a person who's alive and on the internet, but man, was that still crushing to watch. T_T

I have a thousand thoughts on the show and who knows if I will ever have time to write them up, so for now I will just dash out my immediate thoughts after the finale ended (aside from "I just had my soul ripped out and will never recover"):

The intense emotional bonding between Merlin and Arthur in the last episode, as well as Colin and Bradley's incredible acting in it, just swept me away. I have since read a review that points out all the logical holes and characterization issues in Diamond of the Day 1/2--and in retrospect, I agree that the finale has a ton of issues--but still, it hit me hard in the feels and I love that they allowed Merlin and Arthur to be so unabashedly ardent about what they mean to each other.

I was prepared for Arthur's death (or about as prepared as one can be), but what I did not know was that GWAINE was going to die, too. D: I have since read that apparently he is one of the knights who frequently dies in different versions of Arthurian legend, but still ... that one got me.

Gwen was a total badass at the end! Battlefield medic! Stabbing Saxons! Unmasking Eira the traitor! Figuring out Merlin's secret all on her own! And I love that Camelot is not actually going to fall with Arthur's death, because it has been left in her capable hands.

What really gutted me more than anything, though, is that we never get a denouement where Gaius, Gwen, and Merlin reunite, take comfort in each other, and mourn Arthur and Gwaine together--and that we never even see Merlin in the throne room scene when Gwen is crowned???? What the hell, show? I've seen the theories that--especially given the very last scene in the modern age--that Merlin never returns to Camelot, but I just ... refuse to believe that. So instead, I'm going to go with this excellent theorizing in an old LJ review by ravenya03 as my head canon for what happens after that coronation scene:

Though there’s been some speculation, I’m sure that Merlin will return to Camelot and Guinevere. How could he not? I assumed he already had, and that’s how they all knew that Arthur was dead. They’ll grieve together, they’ll talk about Arthur’s final moments, she’ll tell him that she knows his secret. She’ll legalize magic, she’ll appoint Merlin as her chief advisor, she’ll give him a seat at the Round Table, and she’ll make him her liaison to the druids (essentially, she’ll do all the things that Arthur was meant to do). She’ll arrange for Hunith to come to Camelot so that she can be with her son. Together, they’ll send out envoys to other kingdoms, creating an alliance of Queen Annis, Queen Mithian, Queen Elena and (a disenchanted) Queen Vivian which heralds in the Golden Age (I’ll consider this compensation for five seasons of rampant misogyny). Mithian will visit and comfort Gwen with what Arthur once said about her: that without her, his kingdom meant nothing. With Arthur dead, the love spell on Vivian is finally broken and she hooks up with Percival. Gwen will realize that she’s pregnant and give birth to a healthy child. Gilli will return so Merlin will have a magic-buddy that isn’t deranged. Gaius will die and be replaced by Alice as the new court physician. Guinevere will track down Sefa and make her peace with her. Merlin teaches her how to use the Horn of Cathbad so that she can talk to her father, brother and husband every year.

Anyway, I have now entered my traditional period of mourning that happens when I finish a beloved piece of media. Time to drown myself in fanfiction (and possibly start watching the show over from the beginning?) in an attempt to fill the Merlin-shaped hole in my heart.

[prue84]

Canon-fix: Morgana’s S3 change

An attempt to explain the sudden change that occurred to Morgana after the year spent with Morgause and how Morgana completely switched sides and turned against both Arthur and Gwen. Something between an headcanon draft and a ficlet, about Morgana’s growing hatred towards Arthur and Morgause’s plans for her, set from the timeskip between the Season 2 and Season 3 and then during Morgana’s arch of Season 3. Canon-compliant. Unbeta’ed. (Posted also on AO3 and SquidgeWorld if you prefer that format - links under the read more)

———————————————————————————————

About Morgana’s descent to darkness and betrayals

During the year spent learning the magic arts under the tutelage of her sister Morgause, the disillusion and sense of betrayal Morgana feels towards Merlin grows day by day. First is shock, then confusion, but it soon turns into anger, that festers and leads to darker thoughts. Morgause watches, as the force of Morgana’s once positive feelings for Merlin turn negative, hatred replacing love; Morgause wants Morgana focused on revenge, her heart hardened, so she fuels those powerful emotions. If left alone, without the meddling of a source of manipulation such as Morgause... with the proper time and peace of mind, Morgana could’ve tried to understand what happened, to consider that there must’ve been an urgency behind Merlin’s heinous betrayal, that perhaps Merlin had been forced in what he did and deserved a chance to defend himself. A glimmer that, if properly nurtured, would’ve led to a need for confrontation, honest as much as brutal, to face Merlin and ask him why. (and perhaps be forced to face the hard truth: that she had been the cause of her own pain, that she was the first to betray, when she accepted to ally herself with Morgause’s plans, that Morgause had used her as the source of an enchantment - that Merlin had to resort to poison her in order to stop Morgause). But Morgause is always at her side, whispering in her ears words that appease her need for revenge, her need to hurt to heal her hurting heart, drumming into her head that the boy is an enemy. Until Morgana feels nothing but hatred for Merlin.

Morgana feels fine there, on the Island of the Blessed with the only company of her sister. Return to Camelot is the last thing in her mind. She left behind people she loves - Gwen’s and Arthur’s faces come to her eye whenever she let herself think of the place she learned to call home. But she doesn’t want to get back to a place that is hostile to her and everyone like her. Why should she return where people like her are oppressed and forced to hide, when she can instead stay where she is and grow into the witch she’s born to be? Camelot would welcome the ward of the king, but would hunt like an animal the witch she is. She could never get back to the life she was leading before, to hide who she is under the silks and velvet of the Lady of Camelot.

In Camelot there’s Arthur. Arthur has been a friend, and an ally at times. But Morgana doesn’t have much faith in Arthur and his openness - his mind has been corrupted by Uther, after all, and he wouldn’t reject a life spent hunting down magic users just because of her. If asked, forced, to choose between the easiness of adhering to Uther’s indoctrination and the hurdle of questioning everything he’d been always taught, he would pick the indoctrination - he would pick his father. Morgana could never find support in him.

At times her mind is set - Arthur would walk in the footsteps of his father, his reign forever shaped by Uther’s doings.

Other times she's hesitant and hopeful, her mind recalling when, although clumsily, he made an attempt to go against Uther’s teachings and challenge his own beliefs, when he took a stand or spurred into action to protect both her or other innocents unjustly accused and persecuted by Uther. She can’t forget that Arthur saved little Mordred, helped the boy escape Camelot and reunite with the druids. It’s in these times that she remembers herself that she could find an ally in Arthur. She knows that, with time, Arthur could become the change Camelot needs, that he could distance himself from his tyrannical father, if only gently and steadily pointed in the right direction. Arthur alone, freed from his father’s strangling embrace. Only with Uther removed from his life, Arthur could finally see the atrocities, the tyrannies, Uther inflicted, and establish himself as the king that cast the looming and oppressive shadow away.

Uther’s hatred for magic infects Camelot and its people like a poison, like ivy that drains the tree around which it grows. Morgause, always the pragmatist, suggests that, to save the infested tree one must kill, tear away, rip the ivy that’s strangling it.

*

Morgause doesn’t need to use magic. Her persuasiveness is a refined art that works excellently even on a woman as sharp as Morgana. For as much as she’s intelligent and clever, Morgana isn’t immune to subtle manipulation - and Morgause is a master in such a skill. Morgana is a goddess between mortals, superior to most of women of her status and education, but she’s flawed as much as the next girl of her age. Grown up in the protected environment of a court as the ward of the king, she has never been forced to watch her own back, and now such a luxury has become a weakness to exploit. Morgana is trustful - too much trustful. And she completely relies on a woman like her, born with magic, strong and independent that isn’t scared of challenging men in position of absolute power. Morgana has granted her complete trust to a woman she believes understands her own agony. A woman who supports her in her own growth. A woman who encourages her. A woman who has become her mentor. A woman who also happens to be a sister Morgana never knew she had, and with whom she was deprived of the chance to grow. Morgause feels affection for this woman who is her sister in blood and magic, the one who will become the next High Priestess of the Old Religion. But her mission comes first, even before the well-being and happiness of her sister. Her heart has been hardened since a young age. She’s been taught everything about magic so to have the power to revert back Britain to the old order, to bring back the supremacy of the Old Religion, to return the High Priestess to their rightful place. Morgana is a tool in the war against those that want to erase the Old Religion from the lands, and Morgause will do everything to make sure Morgana fulfills her great destiny.

Morgause has ambitious plans for her sister. She wants for Morgana to get to the top, even if Morgana herself isn’t interested, even if Morgana wouldn’t dream of thinking about it. At the beginning the plan is simple: Morgana’s ascension to the throne as Arthur’s wife. Arthur will eventually have to disappear, to leave full powers in the capable hands of Morgana Pendragon the Queen of Camelot, but this is a detail that must never be shared with Morgana - the sentimental fool. But Morgana is uninterested in Arthur, and refuses to even listen whenever Morgause makes an attempt to breach the subject; she cannot be talked into marrying the prince, she rebuffs the idea to seduce him, she rejects any prospect of making him fall in love with her.

Morgause doesn’t know how this is possible. She can’t find any reason to explain this lack of ambition from her own sister. Morgana is beautiful and charming, attractive, enticing, sharp and skilled: she should crave for the throne, she should believe it to be her birthright, and it would be a cakewalk for her to get it, if she only wanted the crown placed on her head.

Morgause tries to talk her into it by using the “magic” argument, explaining the need to ascend to the throne as the only way to bring magic back in Camelot - but every time Morgana just shakes her head and disagrees. Morgana knows that, if there’s a chance for magic in Camelot, that one lies in Arthur’s hands, but Morgana also insists that she can be at his side and guide him without the need to become her wife - a prospect that ergh. To her, Arthur is akin to a younger brother, she can’t think of him as a husband. And it’s not like she’s that much eager to get a husband to start with.

Forced to discard the original plan, Morgause doesn’t let Morgana’s refusal to abide by her schemes to discourage her. For a plan that must be permanently scrapped, there another coming. And Morgause is nothing but a good planner. If Morgana doesn’t want to ascend to the throne of Camelot, then Morgause can find her another throne. One currently not taken, a reign held by a wife-less king, possibly young and easy to be lured into a marriage with a beautiful and cunning woman. A man who isn’t hideous to look at, equally cunning, and able to appease Morgana’s ambitions. There isn’t a selection of kings to pick from, but Cenred might be just what they need. No one would cry over the death of someone like Cenred - too ruthless and fickle to elicit love and loyalty. There’s much to do, to lay the ground for Morgana’s ascension, to make her the legitimate queen of Essetir. Unfortunately, the first step is introduce Morgana to Cenred and convince him to make Morgana his queen. Sacrifices will be necessary, Morgana shall be asked to do things that she will abhor, but what is a sacrifice in the face of the takeover of a kingdom?

Morgause puts the plan against Cenred into motion. She expects everything to run smooth. She doesn’t foresee that Cenred would have a crush (or at least feel sexual attraction) for her instead - an unexpected development that complicates everything and that forces her to change her plans on the fly. Instead of introducing Morgana to Cenred and sneak her sister in Cenred’s bed, she offers Cenred a victory over Camelot instead. If she succeeded, then she’ll ensure that Cenred repays her by offering Morgana the newly vacated throne as regent. If instead Arthur managed to save Camelot against all odds... well, as first act of his reign (Arthur will become king, for Uther will die, no matter what), he certainly won’t leave Cenred’s aggression unpunished and will descend on Essetir to claim Cendred’s life in exchange of Uther’s. Either way, there’ll be a free throne for Morgana to sit on.

Morgana will not be briefed on the wholeness of the scheme, she doesn’t need to know the smallest detail. Morgana is informed only of the plan that pertains to her role. She knows that an invasion will occur, that magic will aid Cenred’s army to lay siege to Camelot forces and take the impregnable city. To strike down Uther Pendragon. That’s all. Morgause doesn’t trust her sister’s resolution and devotion to the cause to disclose the whole plan to her: in a sudden change of hearth, Morgana could back down at the very last minute and foil everything.

*

Morgana’s return to Camelot happens only when she’s ready enough to leave her forced seclusion and the protective closeness of her sister. With her magic under control and her spirit tempered. Once in the city she’ll have to face both Uther and Merlin and complete control over her own emotions is necessary, in order to not jeopardize everything before the time it’s right for Morgause and Cenred to act. In no way, she can allow the hatred burning inside of her to find an outlet, to mark a gesture, a look, a word. But it’s not just dealing with Merlin and Uther that requires Morgana to be prepared. Morgana returns to Camelot with a role to play, part of a bigger, dark plan that will be bathed in the blood of hundreds of people - oppressors as much as victims.

Morgana is ready. Her return goes as planned. She effortlessly establishes herself back in Camelot and in the court. But Morgana hasn’t foreseen the corruption that following such a plan would do to her soul, hadn’t predicted the constant erosion of the compassion that always distinguished her. She doesn’t feel sorrow for the people who’ll loose their lives because of the plan, she doesn’t weep for the tragedies and destruction the plan will bring on the lives of people whose only fault is to live in the citadel. Collateral damage, they are called. Necessary sacrifices for a greater cause. For what is the life of a peasant or hundreds, compared to the overthrown of the tyrant and the freedom for Camelot?

The plan is get rid of Uther in a way that won’t be ascribed to magic. First sudden madness, an affliction that is recorded to run in the blood of the Pendragons - the king will fall into a madness that will ruin him in the eyes of his people, loyalties will be tested. And when Uther is weaker the most, the aggression lead by Cenred and his army. Camelot under siege, an unstoppable force attacking from within - the tyrant will be broken, the tyrant will be struck down, in one way or another. Morgana will then cling to Arthur, placing herself as his trusty counselor, the one he can lean into. And, under her guidance, Arthur will change his mind about magic. Morgana knows Arthur, she’s sure that Arthur, once crowned and with the weight of the kingdom on his shoulders, will search for a figure to support him - and who’s better than the woman who has grown up at his side like a sibling, the woman who knows his flaws and weaknesses, the only woman he ever opened up with? Morgana will be more than eager to offer herself as that shoulder he’ll look for, and she’ll steer him toward the right direction.

Regrettably Merlin, that snooping traitor, discovers of the plan before the time, before things are set into motion - they’re just lucky that, instead of revealing everything to Arthur, he investigates on his own. He is just a nuisance, a nobody compared to an High Priestess. Yet he miraculously survives the death schemed for him by Morgause and, when he shows up in the castle, ready to stop her, Morgana is forced to chance her strategy. Morgana’s corruption has turned her deaf. Merlin’s pleas crash against her hardened will. But Merlin’s meddling blows the plan. Initially set to stop the invasion at the right moment, not a minute before Uther’s death, so to get in good with Arthur not as The Lady of Camelot but as The Witch, Morgana find herself forced in a role she didn’t want: Uther, against all predictions, survives, and she can’t do anything but play the hero who saved Camelot in front of Uther. Which isn’t the same thing. She might’ve wormed her way in at Uther’s side, his most trusted champion, she might now have Uther’s ear, but she cannot hold sway over his mind when magic is concerned - Uther cannot be influenced (or manipulated) into opening up to magic like she and Morgause planned with Arthur.

The plan has failed. Uther’s hold on Camelot is still strong and freedom is farther than before. Morgana can just resume her old position in the court and await for better times, and for the right opportunity to strike down Uther.

*

Morgause carries on her own manipulation on Morgana. Now Morgana is changed, once she’s tasted ambition she craves for more. Now Morgana wants that power for herself. Now Morgana listens, when Morgause hints at a reign of Queen Morgana. Sleeping agent isn’t a role fitting for Morgana: there isn’t much to do in Camelot, she can divert her attentions elsewhere.

Morgana is now persuaded on that story of taking Cenred’s throne. In Essetir magic isn’t outlawed, so it could be a good start for Morgana to bring back the rule of the High Priestesses on Britain. Morgana will start from Essetir, to bring the fight against those who hate and persecute magic.

Morgause guarantees her sister that she’ll work on that: when she’ll be finished, Cenred will eat from her hand, and soon Essetir will see a queen ascend to its throne, and Morgana the First its sole ruler.

But once again something unexpected changes everything. And Morgause well-planned schemes are overthrown. Uther has a troubled confession at Morgana’s bedside and Morgana suddenly finds herself thrown into the Pendragon bloodline as eldest child and she doesn’t know what to make of that, how to react, what to think. Her world turned upside down, she turns to Morgause for support. And Morgause is more than ready to exploit this new revelation for her own purposes. Forget Cenred and Essetir’s throne, now Morgana has a claim to the throne of Camelot as firstborn of the king - Uther’s biggest secret will be Uther’s utter doom.

But Morgause stupid is not. Nobody will ever accept Morgana as new queen as long as Arthur is alive. Morgana might be Uther’s eldest child, but she was conceived during an affair, born from the womb of a woman that wasn’t the queen. Arthur is everything that Morgana isn’t: legitimate, delivered by the royal womb and, most of all, male. Even if they brought a civil war within the court by officially challenging Arthur’s right as heir apparent, few if not none of the families would take their sides. Not that Morgause cares for the loyalties of the spineless nobles that make Camelot’s court, but a reign doesn’t last longer without its nobility swearing loyalty to a king - or a queen. Magic and brute force can buy a throne, but not keep it.

Morgause never held Arthur in high esteem. Whenever he thinks of him, she feels nothing but a patronizing attitude. He might be a good warrior, skilled with the sword - still, she considers him inferior to Morgana and therefore unworthy to ascend to the throne in her place. Never, she will allow Arthur Pendragon to ascend and rob Morgana of her rightful place on the throne - not as the wife of a king, but as the true heir to the previous king. Arthur must go, in order to free the path to the throne for Morgana.

But to get what she wants, Morgause has to convince Morgana first - and Morgana turns out to be as stubborn and deaf as her father. Morgana craves for the crown, but her affection for Arthur is stronger than her ambition and lust for power. Blinded by her feelings, she doesn’t see Arthur as Morgause sees him - she doesn’t see the unworthy, expendable man. So Morgause starts her insistent operation of persuasion, a brutal attack toward Arthur and all he is, so to incite Morgana to betray the prince. Morgause is nothing but efficient and ruthless, especially when it’s time to manipulate someone into thinking what she wants. So she hammers away at Morgana, she insists on how Arthur is like Uther, how a son who has been raised to be his father’s heir will never be is own person, how it won’t be persuaded into open up to magic, how much a waste of time it would be to hold out any hope that he could ever deviate from the path traced by his father before him. And that, to finally bring magic back to its ancient glory and power, to restore it in the heart of Camelot, discontinuity is necessary. Arthur Pendragon is nothing but Uther’s Pendragon spawn - with him on the throne, Uther’s tyranny will never cease, oppression will continue. Discontinuity is mandatory - and whom better than Morgana, the illegitimate daughter born with magic and destined to greatness, to bring such discontinuity? Whom better than a witch queen, to restore magic within a court? She has the right by blood to sit on that throne, the right by blood to do with Camelot what it pleases her. But, to do that, Arthur Pendragon must be disposed of. Morgana understands, but the noblest part of her soul still pushes back. For some unfathomable reason, Morgause’s rational argument doesn’t fully persuade Morgana and her soft heart. So to win her over, Morgause tells her sister about Ygraine, about that time when she gave Arthur Pendragon a chance to reveal his true heart. She tells about the meeting, of what Ygraine had revealed, of the atrocities and accusations Arthur heard. Did Arthur do something in the wake of those revelations? Did he act toward Uther his father after his mother told him the truth about his birth? No. And that’s evidence, proof that Arthur is past redemption. If not even such a terrible truth changed his mind on magic, what else could? How can Morgana hope to have him reevaluate what he’s been taught all his life about magic, if even that didn’t spur him into action? No, there’s no reason to hope and pointless is to wait.

Morgana is horrified by what Morgause claims to be the truth behind the Great Purge, the hatred that drove Uther’s campaign, the reason why Uther swore to eradicate magic from his kingdom and the other lands. And is even more horrified by Arthur’s choice to keep the secret, his choice to not face Uther and have him pay for his crimes. This revelation is such a shock, acts like a earthquake that rocks Morgana’s very foundations. If there was something she still held to was her belief that Arthur should be given a chance, that he deserved to show what laid in his heart. Morgause proved that Arthur was as much as Uther inside as outside. Morgause tested Arthur, and Arthur failed.

And so Morgana the fair, the compassionate ward of the king, ceases to exist, and Morgause celebrates her victory. The slow descent toward darkness, started when Morgana accepted to be part of a plan that would cause the ruthless death of people whose fault was to either follow their king’s orders or not rebel against a tyrant, and hastened by the decision to stab in cold blood a sleeping man whose fault had been to sire her and keep the secret to protect his legitimate heir, is complete. Loves vanishes from Morgana’s heart, only Morgause in her thoughts, only her sister worthy of her loyalty and affections, only their goal to drive her. No one will be spared, no mercy for her enemies, no hesitation for the others. Morgana has a target, and those on her path will be destroyed. Arthur is the main obstacle on her path to the throne. Arthur is her enemy. Arthur will be wiped out.

And Gwen... she’s Arthur biggest weakness. And any weakness exists to be exploited. Poor kind, fool Gwen, she’s but a pawn. She doomed herself when she decided to fall in love with Arthur. Morgana doesn’t hate her, but her goal comes first and even Gwen isn’t spared. If Gwen stands by Arthur, then Gwen will fall with him.

No one will survive Morgana’s rage. She will ascend to the throne. Even if, to do so, she’ll have to burn down Camelot and walk on its ashes.

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I had this headcanon/canon-fix written (in Italian) in my own drafts/collection doc since ages. I did plan to eventually translate and publish my canon-fixes but never went and done it. @katherynefromphilly’s recent post about this very topic prompted me to do it.

While I call these kind of things “drafts”, perhaps they could be called a first-version of a fic? I don’t know, I have many of these things - not a complete fanfiction but not a draft either.

Notes Canon doesn’t explain the reason why Morgana suddenly wants Arthur’s death, something that can partially be explained only after the revelation of The Crystal Cave with Morgana’s (misplaced) claim to the throne and her need to remove the heir apparent so to become the next in line. It’s also never revealed how Morgana returned so much changed from the year spent with Morgause: someone (the last one to raise the topic is @katherynefromphilly but others did at least in the years since I’m in the fandom and who knows how many before) speculated some kind of brain-washing by Morgause - perhaps with the same method later used by Morgana on Gwen in Season 5 episode The Dark Tower. While I agree that such a magical tampering would be the easier, and most believable, way to explain Morgana’s 180° turn (and don’t dislike it as headcanon/canon-fix), my personal headcanon, written down as a draft some years ago, it’s the one you have just read.

There’s evidence that, for as much as she (should be) the sharpest and cleverest of the lot, Morgana can be easily manipulated by people clever enough to latch on her fears and wishes - as shown by Alvarr, who definitely isn’t as skilled as Morgause. So it would be child’s play for Morgause to gaslight Morgana and get her as brainwashed as to become her own pawn against her enemies.

I never bought the legitimacy of Morgana’s claim to the throne. While, as firstborn, she might have a right, she’s still an illegitimate daughter born from Uther’s affair with a woman that never became his wife and queen (or official concubine, if that’s the medievalism hill you decided to die on). I can understand Morgause’s reasoning (“if we get rid of Arthur, Uther will be left wit no heir so he will be forced to officially acknowledge you as his new heir”), but not Morgana’s obsession that spurred out of a claim that she shouldn’t have (“I’m Uther’s daughter, I have the right to the throne and Arthur is usurping my throne”) about which she cries about later and until her death. (Not to consider that, while non-canon, one of the authors in a recent interview/podcast revealed that - to them - Morgana was younger than Arthur. Thus making her claim to be the rightful heir to the throne even more baseless).

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Crossposted Livejournal: prue84.livejournal.com/93477.html Dreamwidth: prue84.dreamwidth.org/85035.html AO3: archiveofourown.org/works/43755208 SquidgeWorld: squidgeworld.org/works/46661

[and-damntheconsequences]

Okay wait actually I have more to say on Gwen, Merlin, and Arthur as a trio, that I only kinda hinted at in the tags of the other post.

As much as I love Gwaine, if anyone deserved to be the third person in the Merlin and Arthur group, with the title of "Strength", it was Gwen ((this being aside from the fact that I think it was a crime to seem to label Gwaine as of equal importance to the other two in what felt like a very important episode and then just never mention it again)).

Because Merlin, Gwen, and Arthur, were all so important to each other. Not only because of their closeness and friendship to each other, nor especially just the destiny that surrounded them as Once and Future King, his Queen, and Emrys. But because they needed each other. They shaped each other into the people they became.

Without the others, they would all have been very different people.

Arthur could easily have become a near carbon copy of Uther — yes, he had his doubts about his father, but that was largely because of Morgana. Fighting against Morgana without anyone to fall back on, without anyone to put a stop to his arrogance, he would have closed off. He would have turned his fear (because that's largely what it was for Uther) and hate of magic into violence and cruelty. For all that he always wanted to be a "good king" he would only ever have really had his father's influence as to what that meant, and probably never truly learned how to be what people needed. It was Merlin, and then Gwen, who made him challenge himself and who directly challenged his rudeness and arrogance. That shaped him into the King he became more than any other influence. Merlin allowed him to make fun of himself, and Gwen wasn't afraid to tell him the truth when it had to be said. He needed them. (He also would have been dead in the first episode without Merlin, but he needed "Emrys" for more than keeping him alive)

Merlin would have been entirely different, perhaps becoming like Morgana along the way. Without a purpose, he believed that his magic made him a monster. He was afraid. Fear of others and himself would likely have turned him against Uther for revenge, and then perhaps Arthur as well. Though Arthur and Gwen didn't know who he really was, so Lancelot and Gaius take some credit here, I don't think he would have been the person he was without them. Arthur gave him purpose, but more than that, Arthur genuinely gave him hope. For all that "destiny" told him, he wouldn't have stayed so loyal to Arthur if he hadn't had genuine faith in him. Because of him, Merlin had faith that the kingdom could be better, and there were better people within it. But Gwen was so important to that too. She was his first friend in Camelot. She gave him a friendship he didn't find elsewhere on the same level until quite a bit later. More than that, it was her ideals of kindness and forgiveness and compassion that he followed and that kept him from being so jaded and broken when things fell apart. He saved Uther in 1x12 because she didn't believe that revenge was right. Arthur showed him hope and Gwen showed him friendship and compassion, and he needed both.

Gwen would never have risen above being the serving girl she was without both of them. Merlin was a friend who gave her courage, who made her feel worthy and happy, who sat with her when she needed a friend. She needed someone, especially after her father had gone and Morgana turned against them, to remind her how amazing she was, and Merlin always did that, and allowed her to have fun too. And he protected her in more ways than the magical ones, no matter what (when she was banished, she'd lost everything — Merlin must have been the one to send her to his mother and make sure she'd be safe). Arthur gave her confidence and love and truly convinced her that she was deserving of respect, even when he was stubborn and difficult. Look at the difference between Gwen speaking against Arthur the first time in 1x10, when she apologises and panics, and when she speaks against Agravaine in 4x02. She's grown up into someone who knows her own mind and is strong, and she couldn't have done that without Arthur and Merlin both. By season 5, she is a queen and sure of herself enough to make the tough decisions necessary (I wish we'd seen more of it, but think what happened with Sefa), while also still being the kind and gentle soul she always was.

I do have some issues with their character developments, I think all of them deserved to grow as people more than they did — but maybe that's part of the tragedy.... Merlin never saw himself as having worth outside of Arthur and destiny because he still felt the need to cling to that purpose and never grew past it. Arthur never truly confronted his own beliefs and prejudices and learned from them. Gwen did lose a little of herself as Queen and deserved more of a chance to be her own person outside of what Arthur directly gave her.

But they needed each other in everything they did, magic or not, though that played a huge part. Take any one of them away and the others would have fallen to pieces before anything would have even begun.

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

Merlin snaps just a little;

Everyone feels guilty about it. Especially when they realise that their apologies won’t be accepted so easily.

The dreaded magic reveal has happened.

I won’t write it out, it doesn’t really matter how it happened; maybe there was a fight and it was a last desperate attempt on Merlin’s part to save everyone, or maybe he was just stupid and oblivious and cast a spell without realising someone was looking. Or maybe it was neither, maybe Arthur just finally pulled his head from his arse and put it together.

Like I said, it doesn’t matter.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, is gathered in the Roundtable Room. Mordred, Gaius, and Lancelot look quietly worried. Morgana and Gwaine look an odd mix between protective and upset. Leon, Elyan, and Percival look angry, though more at the secrets and lies than at the magic. Gwen just looks heartbroken, unable to look at the man she thought she knew everything about. Arthur is stony-faced, furious and embarrassed; at having been lied to, at being made a fool of, at giving everything to a man who had done nothing but lie to him.

Merlin himself sits slumped in his seat, hands dangling loosely over the sides and blank face staring at the table in front of him. His mind wonders, cycling through all five stages of grief, though his expression remains resolutely empty, and the awkward, thick silence stretches for a long time before Arthur finally breaks it, his voice hard and unforgiving:

“Why wouldn’t you tell us, Merlin? You’ve known us for years, ten, in the cases of Gwen, Leon, Gaius, and myself. How could you keep this from us? How could you lie so thoroughly?!”

His voice rose as he spoke, but Merlin doesn’t move, his gaze doesn’t waver, not even when Arthur abruptly stands and gestures wildly with his hands.

Merlin reconsiders his five stages of grief, and circles back to anger.

The servant smirks slightly, though it’s sad and mournful as he shakes his head, sitting up straight and levelling a cool stare at the furious King. His voice comes out quietly, but the cold tone cuts Arthur to the core:

“You want to know why I didn’t tell you?-”

Arthur just huffs and gives a slow nod, anger not receding despite Merlin’s bitter stare.

Merlin stands slowly, his gaze sweeping smoothly across the faces of everyone else, still sat at the table. Half of them can’t meet his eyes, staring into their laps, not bothering to hide the betrayal on their faces:

“-You all want to know? Fine.”

His eyes finally settle on Elyan and Gwen, sat together next to him, though they’ve pushed their chairs as far away from his own as they could manage. When they don’t look up at him, Merlin rolls his eyes and clicks his fingers, eyes flashing briefly golden as they both get a short static shock. They jump slightly, and everyone tenses when they realise that Merlin had openly used sorcery, but he doesn’t care, just nods satisfactorily when the siblings finally look up at him:

“I didn’t tell you two because despite my best attempts, your father died after being accused of sorcery. You've spent your whole lives since then talking about the evils of magic, about how it corrupts without question, and how no one should practice it because it’s selfish and innocents get caught up in the middle of it. I don’t just practice magic, I am magic, I was born with it. According to you, my very existence is a danger to everyone around me. What the fuck was I supposed to say?-”

Gwen takes in a sharp breath and Elyan widens his eyes in shock, but before either of them can say anything, Merlin moves on, ignoring the guilt in their eyes and instead focusing his angry gaze on Percival:

“-With all due respect, Percival, I know jack shit about you. You may have grown up outside of Camelot, but I’m not going to risk my life on the off-chance that you might disagree with the justice system of the man you swore your life to.-”

Percival just nods, understanding at least a little, flinching slightly at the disgust in Merlin’s tone when he spoke of Arthur’s justice system.

Merlin quickly turns to Leon, gaze jumping over Mordred who, though worried, looks a little proud. Merlin sighs heavily when he looks to Leon, and the older man frowns, knowing that whatever was about to be said was... not going to be pleasant:

“You. You were a favoured knight under Uther Pendragon, the man who started the purge. You followed his orders without hesitation when he told you to slaughter and burn my people and you then became First Knight under his son. Arthur may not be quite as much of a genocidal fucking maniac as Uther, but he’s well on his way, do I really need to keep going?-”

Leon shakes his head minutely, resolutely ignoring the tears gathering in his eyes and the guilt swelling in his lungs. Merlin ignores the sharp intake of breath he hears from Arthur when Merlin spoke of Uther, turning instead to Morgana:

“-Morgana, you may have been vocal in your opposition to the ban, but you’re Uther’s daughter, Arthur’s sister, a Lady who lives in the godamn castle. Who are you to decide that my life is worth the risk just so you get to feel better about your activism?-”

Merlin is speaking quicker and quicker, and he ignores Morgana’s gasp and tears, his gaze jumping over Gaius and Lancelot to settle on Gwaine:

“-You’re mad because you told me about your secret heritage, but I didn’t tell you about mine? Get over yourself. Your heritage is secret because you don’t like talking about it and it makes you a little sad; my heritage is a secret because it turns everyone I’ve ever cared about against me in an instant, and earns me nothing but torture by pyre. I owe you fucking nothing.-”

Merlin finally turns to Arthur. The King’s anger had drained out of him, and he just looked sad and guilty and remorseful, but Merlin doesn’t stop, breathing hard and eyes blazing as he pushes on:

“-And you. The Butcher King’s Butcher Son. -”

Merlin laughs incredulously and throws his arms up slightly:

“-Basically all of the above. Do I really have to explain? Your father single-handedly orchestrated the genocide of my people. You stood at the still smouldering funeral pyre of my best friend, who died saving your life, and told me that he was evil because of the magic you thought he had. You and your father are hypocrites of the highest order: you use sorcery when it suits you, for your own personal gain, and return home to execute magic-users the next hour. You’re well on your way to becoming exactly the legacy that Uther wanted, and I say that with all the disappointment in the world, and what? You think I should’ve risked my life just to teach a grown man a moral lesson that he should’ve been capable of learning himself?! No.-”

Merlin steps back from the table, glaring around at those he called his friends as they all stare at him with varying levels of guilt and horror:

“-All of you are pathetic, get over yourselves. You may consider my life and safety and freedom unimportant compared to you feeling good about yourselves, but I don’t. I am not obligated to risk my life just because none of you could put more than two seconds of thought into the motivations behind your deadly, inherited prejudices. NONE of you are entitled to my secrets, secrets that according to you, mean I should’ve been executed the moment I was born, so fuck off.”

With that, Merlin turns and storms towards the door, opening it with a bang and slamming it shut behind him before anyone has any time to react to what he said. No one tries following him, all knowing on some level that they wouldn’t be welcome.

Mordred, Gaius, and Lancelot share a look, glad that everything was out in the open, but feeling sad and guilt-ridden that it had happened in such a way. At least Merlin had managed to get all of that off his chest, it had evidently been stewing for a while.

Arthur sits back down in his chair heavily, letting out a deep sigh as he stares at the table, eyebrows furrowed and eyes sad. His words come out barely above a whisper, but no one draws attention to the way his voice cracks as he repeats Merlin’s earlier words:

“The Butcher King’s Butcher son...”

Gaius looks to him mournfully, not really wanting to upset The King any more, but also feeling just a little of the anger that Merlin had shown:

“Uther was known as The Butcher King in magical communities, I suppose the nickname was... passed on, in a manner of speaking.”

Arthur shakes his head slightly, blinking away his tears as he whispers once more:

“Butcher...”

Leon frowns in confused realisation, looking up to Mordred on his left first, and then Gaius and Lancelot further around the circle between Morgana and Gwaine:

“He... he didn’t say anything to you three.”

Mordred and Lancelot tense, eyes widening as they sit straight, as if they were getting ready to run, but Gaius just sighs and nods:

“We already knew about his magic, though if... if I had known he was so... upset, I would have spoken to him sooner.”

Gwen speaks up next, her voice shaking and teary as she looks almost accusingly at the three of them:

“Why did he tell you?”

Lancelot manages to hold in his annoyance, but Mordred scowls at her tone of voice and Gaius raises an eyebrow before responding slowly:

“He didn’t tell any of us. His mother told me in the hopes that I could help him learn to control it when he first arrived in Camelot.”

He looks to Lancelot next to him, nodding at him to explain:

“I found out by accident. He saved my life, helped me kill the griffin with his magic.-”

The knight sighs, leaning back in his chair and running a tired hand through his hair:

“-He was... grateful that I knew; he appreciated having someone to talk to about it, but equally, I think it made him anxious. He felt like he was putting me in danger and didn’t tell me a lot of things, I think that... ultimately, he wishes I hadn’t found out, no matter how much easier and safer it made his life.-”

He gives the group a weak smile:

“-He’s never been one to share his worries.”

Everyone nods, knowing that Merlin had never liked genuinely troubling anyone, no matter how much he complains about his chores. They look to Mordred next, but when he stays silent, resolutely staring at the table and ignoring the fear and anger clawing at his gut, Arthur prompts him:

“Mordred? How did you find out?”

The young knight tenses even more, frowning into his lap, and The King sighs, rubbing his eyes tiredly:

“You won’t be in trouble Mordred, no matter what it is, I promise.”

Mordred looks up sharply, angrily:

“Really?! Because when you found out that Merlin, your closest friend and ally of ten years, had magic, you freaked and got all... accusing. Exactly how am I meant to feel safe with any of you, as a Druid?-”

He ignores everyone’s sharp intakes of breath in favour of standing, hands clenched tightly at his side at he glares at the shocked King:

“-Merlin is a hell of a lot more than you have ever given him credit for. He has given up everything in pursuit of your safety and happiness, and in return you treat him like some sort of criminal. Butcher indeed, My Lord.”

Mordred snarls out Arthur’s title, and just like Merlin, he leaves the room with a dramatic slam of the door, not waiting for anyone’s response. The silence grows thicker and thicker until Gaius clears his throat and quietly explains:

“Merlin has a sort of... bond, with the Druids. He and Mordred share a mental link that allow them to speak to each other in their minds and be aware of each others’ presence at all times. Merlin has been teaching Mordred to control his gift, channel it, grow it; due to this, their bond is... deeper than most, Mordred looks up to him.”

Arthur sighs and nods, but Morgana is the next to speak, tears on her cheeks and an excess of guilt in her eyes that Arthur doesn’t quite understand; her voice shakes slightly:

“We... we have to find them, apologise.”

Everyone stands, ready to march out the citadel and track down the wayward Warlocks, but Lancelot quickly steps in front of the door, holding his hands out:

“No. You’ve all done enough damage. They’re both angry and scared; they would never hurt any of us but... they need time. This has been ten years in the making for Merlin, it’s a big deal and he deserves a little peace before you all go running after him with your tails between your legs.”

Arthur, Morgana, and Gwaine look desperate to argue, but Gaius nods his head in agreement, and another pointed glare from Lance has them sag and reluctantly agree. Arthur runs a hand through his hair, frowning as he stares towards the window, resisting the urge to search the courtyard below for any sign of Merlin:

“You’re right. Everyone finish your duties for today, three days from now we’ll track them down and... and apologise. Properly.”

Lancelot doesn’t look very happy, but to be perfectly honest, he’d rather everyone left Merlin and Mordred alone entirely, Gods know they deserve the opportunity to confront everything on their own terms, but getting Arthur to wait three days was probably the best he was going to get.

~

Merlin and Mordred were nowhere to be found for the next two days, but that was to be expected. The moment Gaius got back to his chambers he checked Merlin’s room, only to find all of his ward’s possessions missing, and a note saying he was nearby if Camelot ever needed help. Gaius had sighed at that, but he wasn’t surprised; it would seem that Merlin had finally had enough, and had decided to complete his destiny from afar.

Mordred’s rooms were in a similar state, he had taken his armour, but left the red cloak, and Gaius and Lancelot were grateful that the two Warlocks at least had each other, wherever they were. 

Arthur cleared everyone’s schedules for the next few days, and from dusk until dawn they all gathered around the table in his chambers, guards dismissed and doors locked. Gaius and Lance used that time to explain everything, starting of course with the prophecies (though they leave out Mordred’s role), running through everything that they knew of. They brought with them tokens from their stories: artefacts stolen from enemies, a sketch Merlin had allowed Gaius to create of his healed Serket Sting, shards of Aithusa’s shell, and a few of Kilgharrah’s scales, among other things.

Each story incited a long list of varied reactions. There were bits and pieces of anger, but at Lancelot and Gaius’s continued insistence that Merlin had been dealing with this almost entirely alone, with help only from a cryptic, uncooperative Dragon, and the Druids, who saw Merlin more as some legendary untouchable being, rather than an isolated boy who needed guidance, they allowed him his mistakes. Mostly, there was just a great deal of guilt. Guilt at Merlin’s suffering, the injuries he had sustained and the nights he goes without sleep. The nightmares that Gaius regularly wakes him from and all the people he had lost, all the lies he had to tell to keep himself or others safe.

It was exhausting, and Arthur was glad that none of them had to deal with meetings or training or chores; he’s not sure any of them would be able to cope with so much horror on their minds. 

Lancelot’s angry (he’s been angry a lot in recent days. Partly at everyone else for pushing Merlin so far, but mostly at himself for not having seen his friend’s stress sooner) addition at dusk on the second day, that he and Gaius only knew part of the story, that Merlin kept as much of it as possible to himself, how he had many injuries that they couldn’t account for, a hundred nightmares he wouldn’t tell them about, and days he went missing that he would never explain, really drove home to the gang just how much Merlin had suffered. Was still suffering.

At dawn on the third day they gathered once more, travelling clothes on and a map spread out in front of them.

Arthur cleared his throat and took a deep breath:

“Right. Merlin’s note said they’d be nearby, but where would they go?”

Gwen is the first to speak, looking hopeful for the first time in days:

“Back to Ealdor perhaps? I know Merlin hasn’t been home in a while, and Mordred seemed eager to visit again.”

Gaius shook his head:

“No, he wouldn’t go somewhere so obvious. He’s sick of having to hide himself, and having magic in Essetir is just as dangerous as having it in Camelot.”

Gwaine speaks up next, though he doesn’t sound sure of his own solution:

“The Druids then? There are plenty of camps within our borders, but we mostly leave them alone, and they’re all about magic”

Gaius shakes his head again, and Lancelot holds in his annoyance at the older man for helping them:

“Definitely not. He’s not overly fond of the way they treat him, and Mordred left for a reason. They’re looking for peace and quiet, somewhere where they can practice and train alone and uninterrupted, wherever they are, they’re likely on their own.”

Arthur throws up his hands, pacing the room in his annoyance:

“That could be anywhere! The woods are huge and the kingdom is riddled with caves and valleys and abandoned buildings. We’re the only ones that can know about this search, we can’t exactly spend months scouring the land looking for them.”

Morgana gulps and steps forward, raising her hand slightly:

“I... uh... I might be able to help with that.”

The gang look to her curiously and she clears her throat, taking a deep breath before she admits:

“Merlin and Mordred aren’t the only ones with magic. I discovered mine a few years ago, I’ve been teaching myself to control it from books I sneak from the library. If Merlin is as powerful as you say he is, I might be able to track him, if I can find some sort of spell.”

Everyone looks shocked, bar Gaius, who, though a little surprised, looks like he almost expected it. He wasn’t certain, but he had suspected, though he buried his suspicions when Morgana had stopped complaining of nightmares and headaches.

(She kept her magic hidden, though she isn’t destined to turn evil; Kilgharrah and Merlin have no idea she has magic)

She holds her breath as she waits for a reaction, and it finally comes in the form of Arthur letting go of a deep breath and rubbing his face with his hands, looking to Gaius:

“Does such a spell exist? What would we need to do?”

Gaius nods slowly:

“In a manner of speaking. If you are... well practiced with your magic...?-”

He trails off, though his voice lifts in question and Morgana shrugs and nods slightly:

“Everything I know I’ve taught myself. I wouldn’t say I’m powerful, but I’ve got fairly good control of what I’ve got access to so far.”

Gaius nods and continues:

“-Well, it wouldn’t be a specific spell. Merlin is incredibly powerful, his magic, his soul, is practically a beacon if you know what you’re looking for. My magic is too dormant, buried far too deep for me to be able to do anything with it quite yet, but Morgana may be able to.”

Morgana straightens her back and clenches her hands:

“What do I do? How do I look for him.”

Gaius turns the map to be facing Morgana, instructing her to hold her hand out over it, palm down, and close her eyes. She does as she’s told, and Gaius continues softly:

“Focus on your magic, the feel of it; allow it to come to the surface. Do not instruct it to do anything, don’t think any spells, simply feel it, free it from it’s confines.-”

Morgana nods and takes a deep breath, her expression softening into a slight smile and her posture relaxing as a gentle, effervescent glow spreads under her skin:

“-Think of Merlin. Picture his face, imagine his voice, think of the magic in him. Specific memories hold more power, so try to remember a time you saw him amongst nature: that is where he is strongest.-”

Morgana’s smile grows, and after a few moments she gasps tensing slightly, and Gaius nods:

“-You feel him?”

Morgana nods shakily, her breathing just a little deeper and she mutters:

“My Gods, when you said powerful, I didn’t think... this is insane, it’s like he’s... everywhere. He’s all I can feel.”

Gaius raises an eyebrow and shrugs slightly when the rest of the gang look to him bewilderedly, though Lancelot just looks marginally smug:

“Focus on that. Stop allowing your magic to move freely and direct it to the map, keep focusing on Merlin, though try not to... intrude. If he feels you searching for him then he may shut you out.”

Morgana nods again, lowering her hand towards the map slightly and biting her lip in concentration, trying to track Merlin’s power, feel it, but not push it or snag it with her own. After a few moments of tense silence, a thin golden thread of light extends from Morgana’s palm, lazily curling through the air as if moving through water. Everyone holds their breath, and with one last tense scowl from Morgana, the tip of the thread drops to the map, sinking into the paper over an area of mountains a few days ride from the city.

Arthur frowns in confusion, but Gaius nods to himself, almost as if he suspected it already. Lancelot hums lowly, he had definitely suspected, though he was still adamant that they should leave the Warlocks alone, so had kept silent. Morgana lets out a breath, opening her eyes just as they fade from gold back to green and dropping her hand, the golden thread disappearing as she collapses back in a chair:

“That was... I don’t even know what to say. How does he live with that? I was just... sensing it and it was overwhelming. How can he function when he’s feeling so... feeling all of that constantly?”

Arthur’s frown deepens, but before he can question anything Gaius tilts his head knowingly:

“Perhaps you now understand why he is so clumsy, My Lady. It is hard to focus on one’s physical body when what you just felt is only a fraction of what he has to keep contained within himself.”

Arthur clears his throat, crossing his arms:

“What I don’t understand is how they got there? Those mountains are a full three days ride away and they didn’t take horses. The caves are impassable, we don’t even know what’s in there, and according to Morgana’s... magic, Merlin is right at the centre.”

Gaius looks to Lancelot, and the physician and the knight seem to have an unspoken conversation, much to Arthur’s annoyance:

“Well? You two obviously know something, care to share?”

Lancelot huffs and rolls his eyes and Gaius raises an eyebrow before nodding:

“It is likely that they had... help getting there. We told you of Kilgharrah and Aithusa? Those caves are where they dwell when they aren’t out with Merlin. It would seem that Merlin has returned to his true, Dragonlord roots, and has invited young Mordred along.”

Gwaine lets out a low whistle and the gang look to him incredulously:

“What? Up until right then my brain was still kind of hung up on the whole... Dragon thing. Seems a tad unbelievable.”

Leon’s grumbled “I was there, believe me, the Dragon is bloody real.” goes unnoticed when Arthur rolls his eyes and says:

“What, less believable than surviving a Serket sting? Or being immortal? Or being a legend of prophecy?”

Gwaine shrugs, pulling an apple from his pocket and taking an obnoxiously large bite, promptly ending the conversation as Arthur grimaces and scoffs, rolling his eyes and walking purposefully to the door, everyone else trailing behind him.

~

The rest of the council were told of some sort of secret mission, and whilst they were unpleased at being left in the dark, Arthur was King, and could damn well do what he pleased.

Everyone’s mysterious absence over the last two days had definitely been noted with concern, but Arthur waved them away, reassuring them that everything would be made clear by the end of the season; though he was hoping his magic ban repeal would go through quicker than that, he had to be practical in his assessment that it would be a lot of work, and there was every possibility that he wouldn’t have Merlin’s help.

They set off immediately after speaking to the council. Gaius was left behind, they were already depriving the kingdom of her King and inner council, they couldn’t also take her best Physician. Besides, Gaius was not as young as he used to be, a three day’s journey and then a trek through perilous mountains wouldn’t be good for him. Arthur had wanted to leave Lancelot behind as well, so that only those who had apologies to be heard would be present, but Lancelot absolutely was NOT having that, and The King had to give in fairly quickly.

The three day journey was made mostly in silence; Arthur stopped being petulant about Morgana’s hidden magic almost immediately, though everyone still remained slightly... uneasy, when she openly used it. To which she rolled her eyes and insisted:

“Look, Merlin and Mordred are in the centre of a Dragon Lair, I can guarantee that there will be some serious magic going on when we get there. You need to get used to it eventually, because I have a feeling neither of them are going to be willing to make compromises for your comfort.”

Lancelot had smirked and nodded at that. Everyone could tell he was incredibly unhappy about this journey, though he only said it once; they know his thoughts, no point repeating them. Lance was of the opinion that Merlin and Mordred should be left alone entirely and everyone knew it. They’d left for a reason, and they knew how guilty everyone was feeling, if they wanted to hear apologies then they would come back. But they’re hiding in one of the hardest places to get to in all the Kingdoms... you’d think that would be hint enough. Apparently not.

On horseback, with Morgana’s help clearing a path and showing them the way, they made the journey in three days. Just over six days since Merlin and Mordred had left, their righteous anger keeping their heads held high whilst the others bowed their heads in shame.

They stood at the foot of the mountains, composure in tatters and breathing quick as they stared up at the vast stone structures. They’d had to travel through a thick, basically untouched forest, and the impenetrable canopy in the height of summer meant the sky was almost completely hidden. They knew which direction to travel in, thanks to Morgana, and they knew roughly how long they had to ride, thanks to the maps, but the way the forest suddenly gave way to a cliffside was unexpected and breath taking.

The maps were incomplete and vague, and Morgana could only point them in the right direction as the crow flies, so it took another half a day of scrambling around at the base of the mountains, avoiding surprise rockfalls and hidden crevasses, for them to find a path that could conceivably be an entrance.

Lancelot was of no help, letting the others take the lead as he shook his head, praying that they would just give up and leave the Warlocks alone, but knowing on almost every level that that wasn’t going to happen.

The path, as they had guessed, was dangerous, and they definitely had a few close calls. Morgana, Gwen, and Leon managed with endless amounts of grace, but Gwaine almost slipped a few times, and Percival, with his size, struggled with sticking close to the stone wall and away from the edge.

It wound along the edge of one of the mountains, climbing higher and higher up the cliffside as it snaked towards the centre of the mountain range. It could hardly even be called a path, and it took all of their courage to force themselves to flatten against the side of the mountain where it got too narrow, or leap over knife-edge drops where the path had fallen away.

The first night, they managed to find a cave. It wasn’t very deep, the damp was almost intolerable, and the way the wind howled through the cracks and gaps in the stone almost froze them as they tried to sleep, huddling for warmth, but it was safer than sleeping on the cliff’s edge.

The second night, they weren’t so lucky. They were running out of rations; the horses had been let loose at the base of the mountains (they were trained to stay close to wherever they were left, so as long as bandits didn’t get to them, they should hopefully still be milling around when the gang finally escapes these infernal mountains) and there was only so much they could carry between them. They walked through the second night, unable to find anywhere even remotely safe to stop and rest until late the next morning. 

According to Morgana, they were close, so they only stopped for a few hours; there was no cave, but the ledge opened up and became wider, just about wide enough for a few of them to sleep at a time whilst the others kept watch.

They were incredibly annoyed to find that the next corner they turned curved round into the mountains; the path widening significantly and the cliffside of another mountain rising up where previously there had been nothing but a long drop.

Arthur was stuck between wanting to speed up now that it was safe to do so, and wanting to slow down because they don’t know how long the path would remain easy. Or as easy as it can get when at least once an hour someone almost gets crushed by boulders tumbling form the heavens.

They rest eventually, stopping when it gets dark and spreading out on the spacious pathway, as far away from the cliffs as they could get to avoid being flattened should something fall in the night. For the first time since Merlin and Mordred left, Arthur lets everyone sleep in, and it’s almost noon by the time they get going again; though Arthur does make them practically jog. He was getting restless, his apology speech playing over and over in his head, desperate to escape his mind, he just wanted to find his Warlocks and get it over with and bring them home again.

Lancelot raises an eyebrow at Arthur’s fast pace, but shrugs and bites his lip to stop himself from laughing derisively, keeping up easily, but not happily.

It’s just before dark on the third day, though they’ve only been travelling for a few hours; in the centre of the mountains with cliffs rising hundreds of metres on every side, they only had direct sunlight for a few hours over the middle of the day, and it got dark quickly. The path widens into a broad, open glade, almost a perfect circle roughly the size of Ealdor. The rockface has been methodically carved, runes and images and words decorating the stone further up than the eye can see. On the cliff side directly opposite them, the rock opens up into a jagged, gaping maw; it looks huge, even with the great distance between it and the gang, an entrance, they think, wide enough for a Dragon.

They all gaze around the clearing in wonder, before determinedly walking towards the cave entrance. It takes them a few minutes to reach the other side, even with their purposeful stride, and Gwaine lets out a low whistle when they peer inside... or more accurately... over the edge.

In the entrance, under the largest mountain of the range, the ground gives away to nothing. There’s a thin path that zig-zags down the edge of the drop into the darkness, far deeper than the land surrounding the mountains. With another deep breath, they begin their descent, being forced to light torches after only a quarter-candle-mark due to the impenetrable darkness closing in from every direction.

It took them almost two candle-marks to reach the bottom, where they find a wide cavern. The moment they stepped away from the cliff face, giant metal braziers all around the edge of the cavern lit, as if by magic. All of them jump before putting their own torches out as they peer around the cavern. It was gargantuan, and they could see tens of tunnels dotted along the edge of the walls, as well as giant holes high up on the walls, walls which were covered in dragon-sized foot holds. Leon is the first to point them out, his voice echoing loudly as he says in a fascinated voice:

“This place must’ve been where the Dragon-Lords and their Dragons lived before the purge. The Dragons obviously couldn’t fly down here, but I bet you there’s a hugely complex cave system just for them, above the normal pathways for people.”

The others nod distractedly, but Gwaine lets out another impressed whistle:

“So I guess just... don’t stand below any big holes in case a Dragon lands on you.”

Elyan rolls his eyes, and uses the hand that isn’t being clutched by his sister to thump him on the arm:

“There are only two Dragons left, Gwaine, this place is mostly empty.”

Morgana looks back to the group with a small frown:

“Yeah, except Merlin is the last Dragon-Lord, and he isn’t best pleased with us right now. You know what Gaius said, Merlin has a bond with these creatures like no other connection in nature, they’re probably not all that opposed to killing us right now, so be careful, be respectful.”

Arthur nods in agreement, looking to his sister:

“Can you figure out which way?”

Morgana glances to the many tunnels, but shakes her head and looks back to Arthur with a grimace:

“No, but look around, Arthur,-”

She gestures vaguely at all the lit braziers, the shadows of flames and smoke flickering ominously against the rock walls:

“-they know we’re here, and I can feel Merlin getting closer. Now I’m tuned into his magic, I don’t even need Gaius’ neat little trick to sense him, he’s... it’s been getting stronger, it’s sort of overwhelming.”

Everyone frowns in confusion, but it’s Gwen that questions:

“Well... if he’s that powerful, and Gaius’ spell is now all but useless, why couldn’t you feel his power before?”

Morgana’s grimace deepens and she runs a hand through her knotted hair:

“He was probably hiding it. I can’t imagine keeping all of that inside. I struggle to hide mine entirely and he’s practically a God compared to me.”

Arthur bites his lip hard at that. How had he kept Merlin so far below him? Both in his mind and in station? If Morgana’s... magic, and Gaius and Lancelot’s stories are anything to go by... Merlin has the power to level Kingdoms, and Arthur had him mucking out stables and polishing armour. Worse, he questioned his loyalty, the loyalty of his — not that he would ever admit it — favourite person in the world. Arthur had a lot to apologise for. 

Before his thoughts can spiral even further and before any one else can say anything, their attention is jarringly caught by a spine-chilling scuttling sound echoing all around the cavern. It comes and goes, but it’s clear that whatever it is is getting closer and closer; they all bunch together fearfully, bar Lancelot who rolls his eyes and leans up against the wall with his arms crossed.

They can only assume that it’s Kilgharrah and Aithusa crawling around in their tunnels as an ear-splitting screech of claws against stone sounds out all around them. Lancelot grimaces slightly, but just huffs in annoyance when the others tighten their defensive huddle, all of them doing a terrible job of hiding how afraid they are.

After another few minutes of that, the noises steadily getting louder and louder and Morgana glancing to the people-sized tunnels with increasing frequency, the noise finally stops, and the silence is almost scarier than the previous cacophony. They all hold their breaths in suspense, gasping and letting out short yelps of surprise when a huge golden beast lands gracefully in front of them.

No one judges when Arthur takes an alarmed step back and Leon grabs Percival’s hand; they were the only ones who had met Kilgharrah already, and it wasn’t such an... amicable meeting. At least, they thought Arthur and Leon were the only ones to have met him before. Kilgharrah’s angry eyes rove over the group huddled at his snout as if he were looking for something specific, but he looks up sharply when Lancelot yells from behind them:

“Sorry to intrude Kilgharrah, they insisted. How’ve you been?”

The gang stare at him in shock, and the irate knight finally pushes himself off of the wall to walk up next to them, completely ignoring them as he frowns, annoyed, at Kilgharrah’s angry huff of hot air:

“I’ve been better, though I assume you already knew that, noble one.”

Lancelot smiles apologetically, barely sparing Arthur a glance as he replies:

“Yeah, I figured. If they really don’t want to see us then just threaten to crisp them up a little bit, they’re already scared shitless and I told them this was a bad idea.”

Kilgharrah’s lips lift to reveal razor sharp teeth, in what the gang can only guess is the creature’s best imitation of an amused smile:

“I, personally, was of the opinion that I should be allowed to raze Camelot again in response to My Lord’s cruel treatment,-”

Arthur takes a noticeable step back at that, but neither the Dragon nor Lancelot look to him:

“-but My Lord was decidedly against it. Aithusa is on her way, she has not quite mastered climbing through the tunnels yet-”

With that, a high-pitched, though still terrifying screech sounds from above, and a horse-sized white Dragon falls from the ceiling, managing to slow her descent with her shivering wings just in time. She lands a lot less gracefully than Kilgharrah had, tripping over her tail once and her wings twice before she manages to right herself. Lancelot holds in a laugh as she huffs petulantly at the gang before trotting happily up to him, pushing her scaled head into her chest and only letting up when he lifts a hand to run his nails harshly along the ridges behind her ears. She purrs happily in greeting and Kilgharrah rolls his eyes, muttering “You shouldn’t encourage her, she’s not a pup.-” to the giggling knight. She gives her next petulant huff to the larger Dragon before bounding enthusiastically over to the one of the human-sized tunnels, sticking her head in as far as she can fit and waving her tail in the air. Lancelot snorts at Kilgharrah’s continued muttered complaints “-Though apparently she may be part cat.”.

The great Dragon turns his attention back to Arthur and the group cowering confusedly behind him:

“My Master and his Charge will join us shortly,-”

He walks towards them, his belly low to the ground and his teeth bared as if he were a predator stalking oblivious prey from a hiding place in long grass. His voice drops, coming out as an angry growl, and Leon squeezes Percival’s hand so tightly that the gentle giant has to resist the urge to wince and pull his hand away:

“-though if it were up to me, I would burn you to ash before you ever set your judging eyes upon them again.”

Lancelot raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything at Kilgharrah’s newfound protectiveness of not only Merlin, but Mordred as well, knowing that the old reptile had originally been intent on convincing Merlin to kill him, even as a child. 

A shrill bark sounded from Aithusa before anyone could react to Kilgharrah’s unhidden hatred, and everyone looks to her as she frantically backs out from the tunnel, pouncing around in circles at the arrival of her Master and new brother.

Merlin and Mordred walk out with grins on their faces as they stare fondly at the Dragon, eyes unashamedly golden as they light their way with magic, and the gang are struck by how free and relaxed they look. Arthur had never realised how constantly tense and miserable his manservant was until suddenly... he wasn’t. Neither of them were in their usual wardrobe, Merlin has exchanged his red tunic and blue neckerchief for a loose white lace-up shirt, and Mordred had replaced the armour with soft-looking casual clothes, his tunic unlaced just enough that the gang can see the edge of a Druid Triskelion tattooed onto his chest.

The moment doesn’t last, the second that the Warlocks look over to the gang, their smiles drop into scowls and their shoulders tense angrily. Merlin holds a hand out to Mordred protectively, and though the younger man doesn’t seem too pleased about it, he obeys Merlin’s obvious request for him to stay slightly behind; the two of them stalk over, gaits purposeful and eyes remaining gold.

Lancelot shoots Merlin an apologetic smile and the former servant returns it with a respectful nod before turning his gaze back to Arthur. The King gulps, looking the two of them up and down and staring with an odd mix of fear and awe at the shear power radiating from them. It’s not just the magic they can feel crackling in the air as if lightening were about to strike, it’s the way they stand, the way they hold themselves with such confidence and elegance, the righteous fury on their faces and the gold of their eyes.

Merlin sighs harshly at their staring and clenches his hands tightly:

“I’ve spent ten years hiding who I am, and I’m done. I am Emrys, the most powerful Warlock to ever walk the earth, this is my magic, our magic, and I’ll be damned if ever let you take that away from us again.”

Arthur recoils slightly and the others look to the floor in shame, bar Lancelot, who smiles proudly and nods, absentmindedly stroking Aithusa’s scales again as he waits for someone to say something.

Arthur clears his throat, glancing fearfully at Kilgharrah for just a second before looking back to Merlin and opening his mouth. The moment he tries to speak, all his practiced speeches and many apologies fall to his stomach like lead, and he closes his mouth again. Mordred smirks and Merlin quirks an eyebrow, crossing his arms mockingly as Arthur flushes and tries again:

“Merlin, I... you were right. We had no right to be angry, and it wasn’t fair of us to expect you to trust us when we had given you no reason to...”

He trails off, and it’s perfectly obvious that he had planned to say more, but his words fail at Merlin’s continued hard expression, and Gwen steps forward instead, her voice shaking and tears gathering:

“I’m so sorry, Merlin. Gaius told us what you did, at least some of it, and it was cruel of us to be angry. I know you tried your best to save my father, and you’ve kept me safe for ten years, and I was completely out of line to expect more when I never gave you anything. You were my best friend and I utterly failed you, and I’m so sorry.”

Merlin just raises an eyebrow again, golden eyes looking around the mini crowd as he gestures vaguely:

“Any one else want to get anything off their chest? Me and Mordred were in the middle of a lesson that I’d like to get back to.”

Gwen’s tears silently overflow at Merlin’s obvious dismissal, and the gang shuffle uncomfortably on their feet before a chorus of murmured apologies float up. Some specific, some vague, but all over the top of one another. Merlin chuckles darkly and shakes his head, staring to the floor as he holds a hand up, signalling them to be quiet:

“You know what’s happened? I’ve done the one thing I promised myself I would never do. I forced you to face your prejudices, and you lot didn’t have to put any effort I because I did it for you, as per fucking usual.-”

He looks up angrily, his hands clenched tightly at his sides and his eyes glowing brightly in tune with his fury:

“-So fuck off. Apologies not accepted. Leave us be. All the murder of innocents and blood spilt and lies spread and terror doled out like goddamn snow in winter does not get scrubbed away just because you’re all feeling a little guilty. Actually do something about it. I’ll bet you’ve spent the last week and a half sitting around feeling miserable and sorry for yourselves, and rehearsing your shitty little apology speeches; well I don’t want to hear it. I’ve spent ten years in utter agony, I’ve spent ten years being terrified out of my mind as my default emotion, and I categorically refuse to live like that any more.-”

He paces to the side slightly, raking a rough hand through his hair as he lets out a short, humourless laugh:

“-Gods, I’ve been pathetic haven’t I? Allowed myself to become friends with, to rely on, to care about people who turned on me the moment they found out who I truly was, despite the fact that I sacrificed everything for them, for you,-”

He turns back to them, his eyes wide and his smirk dangerous:

“-and the worst part is I knew that was what would happen. I knew you would turn on me, I knew that my friendships with all of you were conditional on the fact that you could never know anything about me, because you despise the very thing I’m made of.-”

Merlin sags all of a sudden, staring at the floor in exhaustion as Mordred steps forward to put a hand on his shoulder:

“-I’m... I’m tired, Arthur. I can’t do this anymore. Please leave.”

Arthur takes in a deep breath, holding in his tears as he nods stiffly, but before he can walk back towards the stairs Morgana pushes her way to the front of the crowd:

“Merlin, I may not understand the challenges you’ve faced as Emrys, but I do understand your fear, and I’m sorry.”

Merlin looks up at that, freezing when her eyes flash golden and a miniature flame lights itself in her palm. It goes out again after a few moments, and her teary eyes fade back to their normal green, but it takes Merlin a while to stop staring at her out-stretched hand. He looks up at her incredulously, clenches his hands so hard his nails break skin as he harshly whispers:

“How dare you?-”

Morgana is taken aback at his reaction, but she doesn’t have time to say anything before Merlin lets out another slightly manic laugh:

“-Gods above, you really are Uther’s daughter aren’t you?! The entire fucking family... I suppose cruelty and hypocrisy just runs in the bloodline, huh?”

Morgana bites her lip harshly and looks down, wanting more than anything to argue, to apologise again, but knowing she doesn’t have anything worthwhile to say. Merlin's accusations are accurate, she has no right to be angry at Merlin for hiding his magic, when she hid her own for all the same reasons.

Mordred’s hand slips down to his mentor’s wrist and he tugs backwards slightly. Merlin nods and Arthur is sure that they’re communicating in their heads like Gaius said they could, but he doesn’t say anything, waiting for one final dismissal. Merlin looks to Kilgharrah, not even sparing the others the briefest of glances as he tiredly says:

“Make sure they get out of the mountains safely, please.-”

Kilgharrah growls in annoyance, but nods, understanding that, whilst Merlin currently had no intention to go back, he still felt loyalty to Albion’s golden future, and that could only happen if no one tumbled off a cliffside.

The Warlock turns to Lancelot next. The knight looks a lot more mournful than he had previously, but still has a softly proud smile on his face as Merlin speaks to him gently:

“-Fancy staying for a little while? I never got round to showing you the back halls, and I know Aithusa has missed you. I can teleport you back whenever you like.”

Lancelot raises an amused eyebrow at the white dragon curled up at his feet, nodding in agreement, before looking back at Merlin:

“Sure. And you can teleport now?”

Merlin grins and nods:

“It’s amazing what you can do when you stop being so terrified of letting go.”

Kilgharrah, realising that Merlin has nothing more to say to anyone else, turns to Arthur and the gang with an angry snarl, gesturing to the stairs behind him with his snout. They give Merlin one last tearful look, but resist saying anything as they all stumble with blurry eyes towards the cliffside.

~

Lancelot, like promised, reappears in his bedroom in the castle about three days after everyone else had gotten back. He raises an eyebrow at everyone’s questioning looks, only responding to Gaius to fill him in on how his ward was doing once the Problem People had left the vicinity.

Arthur had gotten right on drafting up the ban repeal, though work was slow. Morgana and Gaius were the only ones with enough knowledge on magic that he trusted with accurate research and application. Leon and Elyan had marginally better reputations among the Druids that the others did, so they were sent to the closest camp to request any help or information on previous magical law they could provide. Lord Geoffrey is drafted in and “I swear, as King, in the name of Camelot, that you won’t face any punishment for having any books on sorcery hidden away. In fact... I’m actually kind of hoping that you do... please?” to which he responds with a coughing fit and a nervous glance to Gaius, who just smiles and nods.

A whole murder of crows — that Merlin is incredibly proud of himself for managing to train — ferries letters back and forth between Lance and the two Warlocks, and whilst they refuse to reply to anything that’s directly from Arthur or the others unless it’s strictly educational/political, they keep Gaius and Lance in the loop on what they’re up to. Merlin and Kilgharrah are finally starting to fix up Aithusa’s growth issues, Mordred’s magic is coming along very nicely, Merlin managed to grow and then destroy an entire mountain... you know... normal stuff.

Like Arthur had said, everything was in fact made clear to the council before the season’s end. They weren’t very happy, and a few of them even accused Morgana of enchanting Arthur, though they were quickly removed from the council room and replaced with the likes of Leon and Gwen and Morgana herself.

They only had a first draft to present to the councilmen, and information was still being sent in from the mountain-dwelling Warlocks and Leon and Elyan, still at the Druid camp, but they were making progress. They could only pray that weren’t too late to earn Merlin and Mordred’s forgiveness.

~

The repeal finally went through as summer faded to autumn, the trees were just about turning and it was becoming more consistently cold. Arthur found himself, in the middle of the city-wide celebrations, absentmindedly wondering whether Merlin and Mordred were keeping themselves warm enough in those dark caves.

They all plastered smiles on for the celebrations, though when the gang was out of the public eye, none of them hid their disappointment. Their Warlocks had been told the date of the repeal, had acknowledged it in their responding letter, and they had all hoped that their faces would be in the crowd when Arthur announced it to the public; but they were still nowhere to be found within the city.

No one missed the way Sir Lancelot disappeared a few days before the announcement, and had yet to return, though Gaius assured them that he was safe. When Gwaine knocked on Lancelot’s door in hopes of having a word moments after he spied the knight shutting the door behind him, only to walk into the room and find him vanished, he kept it to himself; teleportation was apparently something that could happen now, and there’s no point stirring the pot as it were, if Gaius was so sure he was alright.

Though to be honest, everyone had assumed he was with Merlin and Mordred anyway. It’s not like he would be anywhere else, not with the cold shoulder he had been giving everyone bar the elderly physician.

Eventually he reappeared, a week or so later. To say everyone was taken aback when a sparking golden circle, about seven feet across, appeared in the centre of the council room in the middle of a meeting would be an understatement. Leon absolutely did not yelp in surprise and reach for his sword, and Lord William will deny to his dying day that he almost fainted.

After a few moments the circle sharpened and stilled, and Lancelot walked through without a care in the world, appearing from the inky blackness with a raised eyebrow and a smug smile on his face. He looked back, saluting into the... portal (?) as if whoever was on the other side could see through the shadow; it suddenly faded from existence, and the knight turned to face his King:

“A small Druid contingent are on their way with the Lord Emrys, his two remaining kin, and his charge. Might I suggest a welcome is organised, My Lord?”

Arthur stares at him blankly for a few moments, brain kicking into gear when Gwen kicks him gently under the table:

“Uh... yeah, yes! Of course! Thank you, Sir Lancelot, for passing the message along.-”

Lance nods slowly, expecting a dismissal (or an invite to joint the meeting, where he should’ve been anyway), but Arthur’s face morphs into a small frown as he asks:

“-When can we expect them?”

Lancelot smiles again, trying to hide his amusement:

“Within the hour, I’d imagine.-”

Arthur’s eyes widen and the council members shuffle in sudden discomfort at having to organise something with such short notice. Lancelot bows his head briefly before turning to the door, speaking over his shoulder:

“-I’ll speak to the Steward about preparing some rooms, Sire.-”

Arthur nods wordlessly, trying his hardest to square his shoulders and settle his face into something resembling confidence, though that flies out of the window when Lance pauses in the doorway, turning back around with a cheery expression:

“Oh! It might be worth it to tell the knights and guards not to get the crossbows out, I have a feeling that they plan on... ahem... landing in the courtyard?”

Arthur’s eyes widen in shock and Leon pales, but Lancelot is shutting the door behind him and making his way down the corridor with a grin on his face before anyone can say anything.

~

Arthur, crown atop his head and red cloak billowing behind him, only just makes it to the courtyard steps in time to see Kilgharrah and Aithusa landing side by side on the cobblestones.

The gang manage to stay composed, at least on the outside, but the other council members looked about ready to piss themselves, despite the warning they’d received and the excited grin on Sir Lancelot’s face. Arthur had tried to keep the number of guards in the courtyard at a minimum, but he couldn’t dismiss all of them, and the remaining ones, despite being handpicked for their loyalty and bravery and quick acceptance of magic, shuffled uncomfortably at the sight of the apparently friendly beasts. The fact that the entire Kingdom would’ve seen the creatures circling and then landing in the citadel would also have to be addressed at some point, but Arthur will have to deal with that some other time, hopefully the Druid’s presence, the guards and knights explaining things, and the lack of warning bell would stop people from panicking too much.

The Druids, around twenty of them, filed into the courtyard through the main gates a few moments after Kilgharrah made his graceful landing and Aithusa made her... landing. Arthur held his breath, trying not to look as if he were glaring as he squinted at all the faces in the crowd, trying to find his Warlocks; it took Gwaine muttering “Holy shit...” and Leon giving him a subtle punch on the arm and nodding at Kilgharrah for him to finally see two figures sliding from The Great Dragon’s back.

Arthur clenched his jaw and squared his shoulders, plastering on a fake smile as the two figures, Merlin and Mordred, and one of the older Druids approached him on the steps. Aithusa seemed distracted, staring around in wonder at the great walls and turrets of the castle, though Kilgharrah sat regally, primly, giving Arthur a look of sufficiently snobby disinterest.

Merlin, dressed in blues and whites with a delicate crown of silver vines and leaves resting on his hair, approached Arthur with his head held high, and Arthur bowed slightly in respect:

“Lord Emrys, Sir Mordred, we welcome you back.”

If his voice shakes at the formal way he forces himself to speak to them, no one says anything, Merlin simply bows his head in return and turns to introduce the elder:

“This is Iseldir, the leader from Mordred’s former camp, you’ve met briefly.”

Arthur gives them a wide faux smile and nods, before gesturing to the citadel doors behind him, giving a questioning glance to the Dragons and remaining Druids. Merlin walks up the steps to greet Lancelot and Gaius, but Mordred spies Arthur’s confused look and speaks lowly, his voice calm and detached:

“Kilgharrah and Aithusa will fly back out and settle in a clearing just beyond the city, the Druids have a camp just next to it that they will be returning to, they’re only really here for the welcome.”

The King nods, shooting a mournful, but grateful smile to the younger man; Mordred returns the smile weakly, and Arthur has never been more grateful for such a tiny twitch of someone’s mouth before.

The official introductions were a little awkward, but thankfully, forcing himself through awkward political small talk was something that Arthur was somewhat a pro at, and within an hour of everyone’s dramatic entrance, the bulk of the Druids were moving back through the city towards their camp, and Iseldir was being shown to his room in the castle.

The only ones to remain in the throne room were the gang, including Gaius. Lancelot still has a mildly smug expression on his face, as does Mordred, but Merlin remains blank in the face of everyone else’s moroseness. It’s Leon that breaks the silence first, resisting the desperate urge to pull Merlin into a tight hug:

“I’ve no clue if you even want to hear this again but... we’re sorry Merlin, Mordred, we’re glad to see you back, and we... we hope you stay.”

Mordred remains still, but Merlin raises a scathing eyebrow before rolling his eyes and smiling fondly. He wraps his arms around the anxious knight’s middle, and huffs a laugh at the way the other man falls into the hug without reservation:

“We forgive you, you big blonde idiot. We just refused to make hypocrites out of you, we weren’t about to step foot back into Camelot until it was no longer illegal for us to exist.-”

Merlin pulls back, but leans into the strong grip Leon keeps on his shoulders, looking around at the relieved faces of everyone else:

“-We were angry, and we had every right to be,-”

Merlin chuckles and Mordred hides a snort behind his hand when they all vigorously nod:

“-but you’ve... started the road to fixing it. Thank you.”

Everyone stops holding back, and the two Warlocks are pulled into hug after hug, each seemingly tighter than the next. Morgana is the last to hug Merlin, and she does so with tears in her eyes and trembling hands:

“I’m so sorry, Merlin. Would... would you teach me? I’ve never felt power like yours.”

Merlin chuckles as he runs a soft hand over her spine, gratified to feel her relax in his embrace:

“I would love nothing more. From what Lance says, you’re already well on your way to becoming pretty powerful yourself.”

Morgana pulls back with a blush and Merlin raises an eyebrow at her shy humility, smiling widely at her eagerness to learn. Though honestly? It’s Arthur’s proud grin that makes Merlin happiest. 

Arthur Pendragon, proud and excited for magic; who’d have thought?

~

THE END!!

I hope y’all liked this!!! I really struggled finishing it off but I’ve finally got there :D

Next, there’ll be a Fae!Merlin piece that isn’t on my prompt list, then it’ll be back to The List!!

[weakforarwen]

Merlin Week 2022 Day 2: Favorite Scene

I could talk about my favorite arc (Gwen's rise to Queendom), or my favorite episode (The Once and Future Queen), or my favorite season (honestly, it's a tie between seasons 2 and 3), or even my favorite theme (Gwen vs. Uther and Arthur's growth), but I've nothing left to say. Yet, it's also impossible to say what my favorite scene is.

Is it an Arwen scene? Arwen's first kiss? Arthur looking back at Gwen after saying they couldn't be together in 2.02? "I will always love you"? "They'll see.""I don't care."? Arwen's reunion hug in 4.12? "It's what you do when you love someone."? "I've never loved another."? "Yes, with all my heart."? "Then all is lost.""Then there's still hope."? "I married for love. I love Guinevere. More than I can express."? "Guinevere is wise and strong, and I trust her more than anyone. [...] I would rather not rule at all than rule alone."? "Without her, they're worth nothing to me."? "How can I admit that I think about her all the time. Or that I care about her more than anyone. How can I admit that I don't know what I'll do if any harm comes to her?"? "How is Arthur? [...] When I am gone, will you take care of him for me, Merlin?"? "If I lose her, I lose everything."? The picnic in 3.10? Their kiss in 2.10? Arthur and Gwen looking at each other as Isolde dies in Tristan's arms? "Merlin, if anything should happen to me, look after Gwen. The world may think she is just a servant, dispensable, but she's not dispensable to me." "Right... Good job I'm not very dirty, then." "It's a good job indeed!"? "I don't think I'd ever get used to it." "You don't have to. You've got me."? "You did a good deal more than that. You were equal to any knight of Camelot. I'm proud of you." "Really?" "Really."? "I know you have to go, but..." "I'll be careful." "For me."? "I wasn't going to let anything happen to you."? "Do you remember the first time I kissed you? There. That's the memory I will take with me."? Arthur moving a lock of Gwen's hair in 2.12? "I knew it. I said you'd be alright." "I can remember you talking to me." "You can?" "You stroked my forehead." "I was tending to your fever." "You never lost faith." "I was just talking." "Tell me again what you said?" "I don't remember." "Yes, you do." "No, I don't." "Come on. Something about "the man I am inside." "No, I never said that." "Guinevere..." "I have to get these washed, Sire."? "That thing could've killed you." "And it still might! Sorry, Sire." "No. My pleasure."? "There's no need to call me that." "There is every need, Sire."? "I love Camelot more than I can say, but when I'm there, sometimes I feel I can hardly breathe. Everyone expects so much of me. Being here with you? I can be myself."? "You were right to ask. I rely on your honesty, Guinevere. And I love you for it."? "So Ruadan believed it was his sacred duty to fight my husband."? "I lost Guinevere once before."? "We have wasted an entire day!"? "Maybe so, but you're forgetting one thing, Uncle. Guinevere is with them. We keep going. All night if necessary."? "I love you, Guinevere, more than you can imagine. There isn't anything I would not do for you."? "Only he can reach the part of Gwen that remains true."? "Do you remember when I asked you to marry me? Do you remember what you said? You said, "With all my heart." That's what you said, Guinevere. That was no subterfuge. No trickery."? "I love you. You mean everything to me.".... "Guinevere, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife? Is that a yes?" "Oh, sorry! Yes. Yes. Yes."? "All I know, my lord, is that no one would sacrifice more for Camelot or you than Gwen." "And if that were so?" "You must do what your heart tells you, sire." "What if I don't know what that is?" "I think you do."? "Gwen will be found. You will find each other."? "Oh...the world's a strange place, Guinevere. Never underestimate the power of love. I've seen it change many things."

Or, perhaps it's a Gwen scene... Gwen's coronation? "I don't expect someone like you to understand that."? Gwen blacksmithing in 3.12? Gwen starting a fire in 3.07? Gwen standing up for women in Ealdor? All of Gwen in 4.02 and 5.01? "Don't let anyone tell you what to do. You said you are your own man. You have a good heart. Be true to it. Only then will you be the king you want to be."? "I trust you, Arthur. More than Uther. More than any man. Worry is not a wise counsel. Forget everything else. You have to follow what you believe is right."? Gwen's dignity in 3.10 when facing death? Gwen's words to Arthur in 2.07 and 2.02? "Get away from him!"? "No, no, no. We'll never outrun them, you must go on without me! [...] Morgana, go! Please! You must get help!"? "You are everything that is right with this world."? "Do not flatter yourself. I am not your guest! I am your prisoner!"? "Camelot needs knights. Not just Arthur and his kind, but ordinary people like you and me.""Remember me"? "Ask, Merlin. You know I'd grant you anything. I mean, not anything. Obviously, not anything. What is it you want?"? "Oh, it's, don't worry, it's completely gone. I've no desire to kill Arthur." "That's great news. Although, I'm afraid right now he does want to kill you."? "After what happened in the council yesterday, I'll never be able to look Arthur in the face again." "I know, it's embarrassing." "It's more than embarrassing, Merlin! I cannot face him, ever." "Come on, Gwen. It's not that bad. All girls do it, don't they?" "Not in public! And certainly not in front of the man they have feelings for!" "You still have feelings for Arthur." "Not that it matters now, because he will never be able to look at me in the same way again." "Gwen, if Arthur likes you, he likes you. Warts and farts and all." "Merlin, I haven't got any warts." "Then you'll talk to him?"? "Gwen! I've been searching the whole town for you. Arthur's been worried sick." and all of Merlin and Gwen's scenes in 3.07. "But I like that you tried, and that you know when to give up." and Gwen's first scene with Gwaine. "I understand why you can't forgive me. But I never once stopped loving you. Never once."? "Maybe he's right. One day I will be the King of Camelot, and I cannot be a friend to the people as well as their ruler." "That's not true, and you will prove it when you become King. You've a kind heart, Arthur. Don't ever change. Not for anyone." Anytime Gwen used a sword or defended herself in any way was great too, or whenever Angel made one of her brilliant and hilarious faces, like in 3.03 or 4.03. And there are a lot more scenes of Gwen with Merlin, Elyan, Gaius, Morgana that I love.

Maybe an Arthur-centric scene? My personal favorite is "It is destiny, my love. Destiny and chicken". But, also, "Without the people there is no Camelot. We're as much their servant as they are ours."; "Because it's not victory I seek. It is peace."; "This is no way to achieve peace."; "What happened to you Morgana? I thought we were friends."; "Then I'm happy being insane. Surely it's better than being miserable."; "You know me, Merlin. I never listen to you." and all of 1.11; "But to save her dying father, that doesn't make her guilty of creating a plague. One's the act of, of kindness, of love, the other of evil. I don't believe evil's in this girl's heart."; "I'll not stand by and watch my men die when I have the chance to save them. [...] Do not make this a test of wills, Father."; "I cannot think of my pride when our people go hungry. They're all I can think of."; "If laying down my life will spare the people of Camelot, then that is what I must do."; "Look, no matter what adversity we face, we stand for what is right. To betray our beliefs, Merlin, that is what would destroy everything we've strived for. I swear I'm going to rescue my men... or die trying."; I cannot even begin to count all the times Arthur was willing to give his life for his men and his people. I also love the scenes where Arthur puts aside his pride. Like when he let his father win in 3.11. "Is this what you want? To die here, now know you condemn this land to war. Odin, you cannot let it end like this. The blood will never wash off. [...] We have both lost much at the others hand. Let us loose no more, I am offering you the chance to end this. Take it!"; "I made a mistake." "I've looked after you since you were a nurseling, Arthur. You should've known I love you far too much ever to betray you. [...] Contained within this great kingdom is a rich variety of people with a range of different beliefs. I'm not the only one seeking to protect you. There are many more who believe in the world you are trying to create. One day you will learn, Arthur. One day you will understand...just how much they've done for you." That is another personal favorite.

There are also many scenes of Arthur with Merlin and the knights that I love. In 1.02 Arthur trusted Merlin's word over a knight's; in 1.05, he disobeyed Uther to save Merlin; in 4.08 he was so happy to see his men well; what he did for Elyan in 4.10, etc. There are Merlin's scenes too that I love... especially the ones with Gwen, Gwaine and Lancelot. I think they've been giffed already.

If you made it this far, I rest my case.

[mca-attack21]

Damsel in Distress part I

This is a two part Arthur Pendragon x Reader based on the season two episode four of the show. Enjoy! Also you can find more of my writing here: Masterlist

Merlin woke up to a feeling of foreboding. There was something in the air that made his stomach turn with dread. As he prepared to go wake his clotpole of a master, he tried to push this feeling out of the forefront of his mind. But even as he made it down to the kitchen there was this sense of apprehension in the air. He hoped that he would run into you somewhere in the halls and that you would be able to set his mind at ease. He however was not so fortunate.

Instead, he trudged onward, setting Arthur’s food down and opening his curtains before declaring a half-hearted, “Rise and Shine” before quickly gathering some of his clothes to be washed. Arthur didn’t even have time to come up with a jest before Merlin was out of the door. Merlin busied himself, quickly polishing Arthur’s armor and completing other daily chores. He mentally prepared himself to deal with the prince as returned to his door.

“Ah, there you are, I was beginning to think you were avoiding your duties. And what’s this?” he asked, watching as Merlin laid everything out, “You’re actually doing your job for once? Are you feeling alright?” Arthur joked.

His smile soon turned to a frown as Merlin ignored his comments. He shrugged it off and allowed Merlin to help him dress and put on his armor. While Arthur was looking over some papers on his table he noticed that Merlin had already made his bed and was starting to take the dishes from the table.

“Merlin, clearly something is upsetting you,” Arthur pointed out.

“It’s nothing sire, do you need anything else?” Merlin asked with his back against the door.

“No, that will be all,” Arthur dismissed, sending a concerned glance towards his friend as he exited.

Merlin took leave and went back to his chambers to help Gaius. He tried to occupy his mind, but nothing he did seemed to ease that burning pit in his stomach. Something had happened, was happening, or was about to happen, he could feel it.

Somewhat abruptly, he decided that he needed to see you. He went to seek out Morgana, as you were filling in for Gwen while she was taking care of her brother. He knew that wherever Morgana was, you wouldn’t be far away.

It was in his search that he saw a few of the knights rushing for an audience with the king. Something had happened. Merlin followed at a close distance and listened in.

“As you know Sire Morgana, her maid, and a few knights rode for a pilgrimage to her father’s grave early this morning. They were meant to be back by now, but there is no word or sign of them. That was until one of the patrols came across one of the knight’s horses. I am afraid something went wrong..”

“Send men out immediately. Arthur, you will lead the search, do whatever you must to bring her home,” the King ordered concerned for his young ward.

“Of course father,” Arthur answered before hastily making an exit. Merlin was right on his heels, and left to prepare their horses.

---

The mercenaries had both you and Morgana in a tent with a guard posted right outside the doors. The two of you had come up with a plan, it was risky at best. However you were both aware of the fact that the further away from Camelot you traveled, the less likely you were to ever see it again.

“Are you ready for this?” Morgana asked, preparing herself.

“As ready as I’ll ever be”

She was about to step forward when you grabbed her arm, “No matter what happens, I want you to take any opportunity you get. Don’t worry about me. Promise.”

“There is no way I’m leaving without you.”

“Morgana, you have to promise me. I cannot bear the risk otherwise.”

“I promise, but only as long as you promise me the same. We take any opportunity we get.”

With that, the plan was in motion. Morgana demanded that she be allowed to bathe and you both were escorted to the river by two of the men. You took the distraction of her undressing to manage to disarm one of the men and tossed Morgana the sword just in time for her to take out the other. The two of you started running back towards the castle, but there was another mercenary that intercepted you. Being as you were the one with the sword you opted to fight him, thankful for the many hours you had spent training with Arthur when you were younger. Morgana turned back to help you.

“Go, I will be right behind you!” you shouted, watching her hesitate, “Morgana go! Now!”

She turned and ran only looking back when she heard your scream in the distance. She quickly picked up her pace again and ran without looking back. She pushed through the aching in her muscles until she was faced with a crossbow aimed at her face. Relief filling her features as soon as she saw its holder.

“Where’s Y/n?” Arthur asked immediately.

Morgana merely shook her head and Arthur turned before his face could give him away. Merlin pushed down his own feelings and went to Morgana to make sure she was okay and offer her water and food. They set off immediately for the castle and soon came the reunion between Uther and Morgana. She begged him to send out another search party for you, after all you had saved her life.

“I am not going to waste the time and resources on a servant girl who has most likely already been executed as she provides no worth to the mercenaries without you,” he explained to Morgana. The words cut Arthur deeper than any sword ever had.

“Please, there is still a chance. Arthur?” she turned towards him hoping he would take her side.

“I’m sorry Morgana, father is right” Arthur managed before turning and exiting a very angry Merlin on his heels.

“How could you say that? How could you possibly agree with him after everything that you and Y/n have been through? I knew you were a clotpole, but this, this is unforgivable!” Merlin all but shouted.

“Merlin Shut Up!” Arthur raised his volume before regaining his composure as he entered his chambers, “Of course I don’t agree with father, but there was no point in making a scene about it. We will pack and leave at first light. We will find her, one way or another.”

Merlin was speechless for a moment, before uttering an apology for overreacting before. He was then quick to leave and make the preparations for the next day as it was already early night.

The next morning he was surprised to see that Arthur had managed to not only wake himself up, but dress himself. He was looking over maps as Merlin entered. Soon the two of them were off on their quest to save the damsel in distress. The rode for the better part of the day before coming to a caves that were inhabited by wilddeoren. As they made it through the other side Arthur let out a breath he hadn’t even known he was holding, “I can’t believe the Gaia berries actually worked.”

“Hold up, you mean to tell me that you didn’t know that they would work before you lead us in a cave with giant flesh eating rats!”

“I mean not for sure, I heard stories, but I figured we’d find out one way or another.”

“Now you tell me?! Oh! Oh, what's that wilddeoren eating? It's all right. It's just Merlin. You trying to get us both killed?”

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't've risked your life like that,” Arthur said a new hint of seriousness in his voice.

“I didn’t realize that even the great Arthur Pendragon could fall victim to the blindness of love,” Merlin joked.

“What in the world are you going on about?

“Your feelings for Y/n. Why can’t you admit that you like her? I mean you are risking your life and even your father’s wrath just for a one in a hundred chance of rescuing her.

Arthur scoffed rolling his eyes, “She is just a friend, I’d do the same for you. In fact I seem to remember disobeying my father before in order to get you an antidote when you decided to get a few days off my drinking out of a poisoned chalice.”

“That was different and you know it. Besides, anyone who has ever seen the two of you together can pick up on it. Why is it so hard to admit you like her? It’s only me, just say it,” Merlin encouraged.

“I can't! How can I admit that I think about her all the time. Or that...I care about her more than anyone. How can I admit that...I don't know what I'll do if any harm comes to her?” Arthur confessed struggling to keep his emotion in check.

“Why can't you?”

“Because nothing can ever happen between us! To admit my feelings knowing that...hurts too much.”

“Who's to say nothing can happen?”

“My father won't let me rescue a servant. Do you honestly believe he'd let me marry one?”

“You want to marry Y/n?”

“No! I mean maybe someday...I...I don't know...Regardless, it's all talk, and that's all it can ever be.”

“When you're King, you can change that. If she feels the same way, she would wait for you.”

“I can't expect her to do that, it’s not fair to her. Besides, we don’t even know if she’s alive,” he said regretting the words even as they left his mouth because they caused his stomach to drop.

“I’m sure she’s fine Arthur. She knows that you’ll come for her and that hope will keep her alive.”

The words seemed to offer Arthur some comfort, “Come on. We've got a long trek ahead. Oh, and Merlin...if you dare tell anyone about this, I promise I will make your life a living hell.”

“You mean more than you do now?” Merlin joked, earning a playful smack from his friend.

[phantomchick]

Merlin fic rec list

To Be A King by clotpolesonly Teen And Up, No Archive Warnings Apply, Gen, Merlin and Arthur, Merlin and Mordred, Gwen/Arthur, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Merlin's Magic Revealed, Canonical Character Death, BAMF Merlin, Dragonlord Merlin, Original setting, Magical kingdom, King Merlin, Royal!Merlin Summary: When Merlin discovers that his father was an estranged prince and he himself is now the only heir to the throne of a magical kingdom, he is forced to leave Camelot for the perils of a royal court. Will Merlin be able to win Arthur's favor again before Morgana launches an attack on a defenseless Camelot? Will he be able to defend his own kingdom at the same time or will all be lost? -

A Matter of Sovereignty by Kizmet Gen, No Archive Warnings Apply, Friendship Summary A visiting prince takes it into his head to brutalize Merlin, but sometimes the solution to a problem is in how you phrase it.

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Bumps and Bruises by platonic_boner merthur, implied/suspected abuse, Protective Arthur, Magic Revealed, pre-relationship, teen an up, canon typical violence,

Summary: Arthur notices Merlin’s constant injuries, and decides he needs to step in and protect Merlin.

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Finding Home by riventhorn Arthur/Merlin, Hurt/Comfort Summary: Written for a kinkme_merlin prompt. When Gaius retires a new physician takes over and quickly kicks Merlin out of his room and takes it for himself. Arthur finds Merlin sleeping in the stables...and it's winter.

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How To Love A Living Thing by Polomonkey Mature, merthur, Merlin/Arthur, Pendragon (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort, Abuse, Violence, Sexual Harassment, Drowning, Guilt, Romance, Protective Arthur, Mild Sexual Content, Redemption, Healing, Canon Era

Summary Guilt ridden and lonely after his confrontation with Nimueh, Merlin slowly begins to isolate himself from Arthur. When two knights take it upon themselves to teach him his place, Merlin finds himself with nowhere to turn. Will he be able to reach out to his prince before it's too late?

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Obeisance by casspeach Gen, No Archive Warnings Apply, Merlin/Arthur

Summary: It's not that Arthur won't share his toys, just that he expects to get them back undamaged

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All's Well That Ends Well by StormDancer explicit, Merlin/Arthur, Arthur Finds Out, magic reveal Summary: Merlin spent the week and a half that Arthur was gone splitting his time between crafting careful explanations that never ended up explaining the important things, the things that would make Arthur listen, and making half-baked plans to escape to Ealdor. He found a number of fire-proofing spells that would have no effect if they decided to cut his head off, and figured out how to adapt an invulnerability spell he had been trying to find a way to cast on Arthur without him noticing so that it would protect him from being decapitated, but it would have no effect on anything but metal. Despite all his frantic searching, he did not find a teleportation spell, because that would have been too simple and if there was one thing Merlin had learned in his years at Camelot, it was that nothing was ever simple.

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Deeds by the5leggedCricket Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Episode Related, Oblivious Arthur Pendragon, Teen and Up,

Summary: Arthur is coming of age, and that means he’s about to get Deeds—marks on his body telling him of his soulmate’s greatest accomplishments. But as he tries to find his soulmate, he also makes some worrying discoveries about the kind of person his soulmate is.

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Honorable Intentions by smilebackwards Gwaine/Merlin, Guinevere/Arthur Pendragon, Courtship, Protectiveness, Protective!Arthur, Teen and Up, Summary: There are several considerations Arthur would like to go over, starting with the state of Merlin's virtue.

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Laundry's Hard Work by supercalvin Gen, Teen and Up, Canon Era, can be read as pre-slash, BAMF Merlin

Summary: Wasn't Merlin supposed to be...tiny? When the hell had he learned to use a sword and not fall on his backside? Where the hell did those scars from? What the hell?

or Arthur still thinks Merlin is the young boy he met ten years ago and he starts to notice things in his manservant that he wasn't aware had changed at all.

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Fathom Me Out by supercalvin Merlin/Arthur, Canon Era, Magic Revealed, Teen and up,

Summary: After ten years, Arthur thinks he has Merlin all figured out. But as he watches Merlin, he finds out that he has more questions than answers. The longer he thinks about it, the more uneasy he feels. So he pushes it aside. Except, he can no longer ignore the questions he has about Merlin. Not your everyday reveal!fic

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Loyalty Before Royalty by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle Gen, Gwen & Merlin, Arthur and Merlin being the most iconic duo? I think tf not, Gwen and Merlin wreaking havoc? Teaming up against Arthur? That's the most iconic duo there, as usual, Explicit Language, Fluff and Humor, Attempt at Humor, Arthur is so exasperated, someone help him, good thing he loves them both

Summary: "Where did you get that?" Arthur asked, but he already knew the answer. "Gwen." "...and the horse?" "Gwen." "What about the-" "Gwen." Merlin interrupted. Arthur nodded. At this point, he wasn't sure why he even bothered to ask. He was pretty certain his wife was going to knight Merlin any day now.He looked Merlin up and down for a few moments before accepting it all with a sigh. "As long as you get my armor to me tomorrow...I don't care." He finally said, turning away. Merlin cleared his throat. "Gwen gave me tomorrow off." "For the love of God." Or I hate that Gwen and Merlin's friendship kind of withered away in the later seasons so here's a oneshot about her and Merlin abusing her new royal powers because that's what happens when your best friend becomes queen.

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Know It All Knight by Shi_Toyu Leon & Merlin, Knights of the Round Table, Magic Revealed, protective leon, Arthur Finds Out, Oblivious Arthur

Summary: Leon couldn’t say for sure when the exact moment was that he figured out Merlin had magic. He’d suspected it for a little while, to be honest. He definitely had it figured out by the time Arthur managed to ‘kill’ the Great Dragon. What Leon could say for sure was the exact moment he figured out that no one else had figured out Merlin had magic.

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The Nature of Trust by Lynds Merlin's Magic Revealed, Leon is the Mam Friend, Leon is so done, Protective Gwaine, Lancelot Lives, Canon Era, Arthur Finds Out, Hurt Merlin, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, Canon-Typical Violence, reference to hunting and cooking animals Summary: Leon starts to notice that the knights, one by one, are starting to trust Merlin's judgement. That he keeps warning Arthur about danger, and being right. Is there more to Merlin than meets the eye?

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Repercussions by PeaceHeather Fix-It of Sorts, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Lecture, Rants, Episode: s02e06 Beauty and the Beast, Episode: s02e05 Beauty and the Beast, Canon Era, One Shot, Gen Summary: Uther married a troll. In canon, that all worked out fine eventually. In this slight canon divergence, there is at least one noble who's not willing to let it slide so easily.

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No Harm Will Come to You Here by fancyh Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Season/Series 05, Merlin's Magic Revealed, Fluff and Angst, temporary amnesia, teen and up,

Summary: "That was magic," Arthur accuses.

"Oh." Merlin just nods, looking unperturbed.

Arthur fights to keep his expression calm, mind racing and heart pounding. "Sorcery is outlawed in Camelot. On pain of death."

Merlin splutters, finally fixing Arthur with an affronted glare. "It's not like I meant to do it!"

***

Merlin gets hit with a spell meant for Arthur and loses his memory. Revelations ensue. Set sometime after 5x02.

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Metamorphose by clotpolesonly Merlin/Arthur, Teen and Up, Between Seasons/Series, Episode: s03e01 The Tears of Uther Pendragon (Part I), Episode: s03e02 The Tears of Uther Pendragon (Part II), Mpreg, Magic Reveal, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pining, morgana redemption, some transphobic language from Merlin when he finds out he’s pregnant because of magic but it’s mostly just the shock that does it Summary: When Merlin falls into bed with Arthur, he doesn't expect for to wake up alone. He doesn't expect Arthur to give him the cold shoulder either, but there is something else he expects even less which forces him out of the kingdom for over a year. He returns to find a traitor in the court, an army on the way, and a love he'd thought all but lost waiting for him with open arms.

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Four Days To Fall In Love. by CupCakezys Teen and Up, No archive warnings apply, Merlin/Arthur, Morgana/Gwen, Soulmate AU, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic, Protective Arthur, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Secret Relationship

Summary: In a world where everyone has a soulmate (or two or three), Arthur Pendragon knows he is destined to be alone. For Arthur can see his heartstring, could follow it to where his soulmate lived, and that could only mean one thing.

His soulmate had magic, and should they ever meet, Arthur would have to kill them.

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Sacrificial Lamb by RurouniHime Angst and Humor, Pining, First Time, First Kiss, Post Season 1, Initial Misunderstanding, But it’s resolved, Happy Ending, Fluff with a touch of angst at first

Summary: Arthur's been overworking his knights, so they come to Merlin as a last resort.

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Cheers and Spirits by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle Gen, The knights are kinda fools, but the best king, Humour, Fluff, Fluff and Humour, Knights of the Round Table & Merlin

Summary: Despite all the supposed trips to the tavern none of the knights have seen Merlin drunk. They decide to rectify that. A poor decision, really.

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Circle 'round the Truth by enviropony Merlin + Knights friendship, Gen, Magic Reveal, Oneshot, Knights of the Round Table & Merlin Summary: They know about the magic. Or, more accurately, Merlin's magic is the truth the knights circle around, and Merlin's loyalty is the one 'round which they rally. (A character study with some yelling, an action sequence, and a bit of walking.) Post-S4.

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Strict Justice by schweet_heart mutual pining, BAMF Arthur, magic reveal, canon au, oneshot, teen and up

Summary: After a particularly grueling battle, Merlin and Arthur share a quiet moment in their tent.

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before it breaks by schweet_heart Teen and Up, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, merlin whump, magic reveal, merlin & arthur, merthur

Summary: “It’s not what it looks like,” he says, hand still outstretched, barely a waver in his voice as he lies, outright, to Arthur’s face. “Sire, I can explain.”

“Can you,” Arthur says. He’s aware that he’s trembling, a seismic reaction to the outrage and denial still fighting it out inside his head, but he knows what he’s seen. What it must be. “Well, then, you’d better be quick about it, because it looks a lot like magic.”

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Until the Day I Die by Cookie Teen and Up, Oneshot, Angst, Temporary Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending

Summary: Arthur believed Dragoon had killed his father, and so he plunged his sword deep into the sorcerer. Now Merlin was dying in his arms and Arthur was facing the future alone.

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These Castle Walls Bleed Lies by marguerite_26 Mature, hurt/comfort, Magic Reveal, Angst, Merthur, mentions of arthur/gwen, Gwen/Lancelot

Summary: With his father unfit to rule and Camelot decimated, Arthur must assume the role of King. But the truths he discovers shake the foundation of all he holds dear.

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before his eyes (he now sees clear) by hwc Teen And Up Audiences, Uther Pendragon is terrible and complicated, Merlin/Arthur

Summary: It takes Uther half a second to see Balinor in Merlin, and he's almost sure of what he should do.

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Keep Your Secrets by new_kate, orphan_account Mature, rape/non-con, torture, captivity, romance, alternate universe - canon, canon typical violence, hurt/comfort

Summary: Arthur Pendragon is captured by the bandits. While he waits to be ransomed, he slowly gets to know Merlin, the prisoner being held in the next cell.

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Crossing the Line by Ultrageekatlarge BAMF Merlin, Gen, Crack, Oneshot, Magic Reveal, Hurt! Merlin, Humour

Summary: In which Merlin gets bludgeoned, strangled, attacked, smothered, shot with glass, and tossed out a window, burned, whipped, stabbed, thrown down stairs, nearly drowned on dry land, and harpooned, and still manages to save Camelot from seven evil sorcerers, before lunch.

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Your Touch Is My Salvation by elirwen Magic Reveal, Canon Era, Oblivious idiots in love, Curses, Teen and Up, Oneshot, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Merlin suffers from an effect of a curse. Arthur can help more than he initially thought.

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A Heavy Heart to Carry by Thursday_Next Rescue, Hurt/Comfort, Magic Reveal, Oneshot, Mature, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon

Summary: When Merlin is captured and injured, Arthur must face up to his own feelings for his manservant as well as the many secrets he discovers are being kept from him.

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Can you do that? by no_nutcracker Merlin/Mithian, no archive warnings apply, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s04e11 The Hunter's Heart, Arthur & Merlin friendship

Summary: Merlin should be overjoyed. He just found his soulmate. If only she was not betrothed to Arhur.

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His Remedy for Care by ArgentSleeper Teen and Up, canon au, Episode: s02e13 The Last Dragonlord, Angst, Canon Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Fix It

Summary: Injured in the dragon attack in lieu of Arthur and afraid of being stopped from going on the mission, Merlin kept away from Gaius and never learned that Balinor was his father. Instead it's Arthur that puts two and two together as he seeks the dragonlord out, first to save his servant (not friend- they can't be friends), then to save his kingdom.

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A Considerable Head Start by ughbutidontwantto BAMF Merlin, Gen, when villains have more regard for you than friends, Camelot has a serious class problem, Merlin deserves better

Summary: Merlin is frighteningly competent and his friends are correctly concerned. Obviously they're going to follow him out to the woods. And obviously they're not going to like what they hea

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The Conscience of the King by ughbutidontwantto Gen, Post-Magic Reveal, Legal Drama, Oneshot, Friendship feels

Summary: Merlin's magic was revealed and now everyone has to deal with it in an official capacity since tragically most of these characters work in government. Arthur, predictably, is struggling to cope.

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Out of Sight, Out of Mind by BabyStepsAreStillSteps Merlin Deserved Better, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Merlin Needs a Hug (Merlin), Episode: s05e09 With All My Heart, Fix It

Summary: When Arthur turned his back on the Dolma that he didn’t know was his manservant, Merlin reminded him that he was missing a very important member of their rescue party.

What if he hadn’t?

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What They Owe Us by ironspidereilish Merlin/Arthur, Alternate Universe, Aredian’s a tax collector instead of a witch hunter but he’s still a bastard, Hurt/Comfort, Poverty, Angst with a Happy Ending, Protective Arthur Pendragon, BAMF Arthur, Canon Era, Romance, sexual coercion mentioned, BAMF Merlin

Summary: When Arthur finds out that the castle staff are having their wages held for weeks at a time and can no longer afford food or their homes, he will not rest until they are protected and Aredian is stopped.

The fact that Merlin’s stomach is rumbling while he delivers the prince his breakfast, and Arthur hates the thought of him suffering, only serves as extra motivation to fix this.

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royal blood by Rona23 crack!fic, humour, comedy, Balinor Lives, Dragonlord things, Golden Age, Bamf Arthur, Bamf Balinor, Bamf Merlin, Fix It, Magic reveal, Oblivious Arthur, Merthur

Summary: ..... as if Balinor could be killed by Bandits O.o

Alternatively: An alternative take on Balinor surviving and saving Camelot. ... And then proceeding to hold the entire kingdom hostage, because he has a frigging Dragon at his disposal :)

- The way by Naelyn Episode: s04e11 The Hunter's Heart, POV Arthur Pendragon, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Oblivious Arthur, Until He’s Not, Hurt/Comfort, Merlin Deserved Better, Communication or lack thereof, Canon Divergence

Summary: "One more word out of you, and I swear to God I will send you into exile."

He knows it’s not the pyre, knows there’s much worse, but banishment would mean staying away from Arthur forever – and, as pathetic as that might sound, he thinks he would rather die than let that happen. It is clear that the feeling is not reciprocated, clear that in Arthur’s eyes, he will never come first. There’ll always be people coming before him, and he’s made peace with that long ago – but if even Agravaine can come before him, then anyone could, no? Anyone could replace him. Call Merlin a traitor and have Arthur get rid of him. Anyone could.

Merlin no longer feels safe in Camelot.

or: Arthur threatens Merlin of banishment. To Arthur's eyes, it's all forgotten. To Merlin's, however... Well, let's just say that his faith in their mutual destiny, once unwavering, finds itself faltering at a dangerously quick rate.

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Better in the Mourning by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle Gen, Lancelot & Merlin, Knights of the Round Table & Merlin, Grief, Fluff and Angst, Gwen/Lance mentioned, let the characters grieve, 5 Knights of Grief

Summary: Merlin mourns Lancelot's death. The rest of the knights help out. (AKA Merlin gets to take advantage of not having to keep a dead loved one a secret and gets some goddamn support in this castle)

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I suppose that I look different (without the robes and crown) by WingedWolf121 Canon Era, Episode: s05e03 The Death Song of Uther Pendragon, Uther Pendragon’s A + Parenting, Ygraine/Uther, Arthur/Merlin, Balinor/Hunith, Dragonlord Merlin, BAMF Merlin, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending

Summary: When Arthur blows the horn of Cathbdhah for the second time, the horn doesn’t just send Uther to the other world. It sends Arthur away as well – to a world where Ygraine never died, the Great Purge never happened, and magic lives freely at court. As do those who practice it.

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For Your Information by reni_days Merlin & Uther, Merlin/Arthur, Modern Era au, Oneshot, Teen and Up

Summary: Merlin sighs. "After your...announcement," he explains, "your father decided he needed a bit more information. Which is apparently where I come in. I'm sort of like his gay tutor, it's hard to explain."

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Good Fortune by platonic_boner Canon Era, Fluff, Merlin/Arthur, Oneshot

Summary: Arthur makes Merlin a lord, and Merlin does an astonishingly good job of running a village.

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Within Reach by foxy_mulder Explicit, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Sex, Merlin/Arthur, Angst with a Happy Ending, Oneshot, Slowburn

Summary: Nobody touches Arthur.

Merlin realizes it slowly, and when he does, he wants to kick himself for not seeing sooner. ___________ (Or, Arthur and Merlin's relationship with touch over time.)

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Moment of Weakness by TheAsexualofSpades Gen, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic, Protective Knights, Protective Arthur Pendragon, Protective Merlin, Whump, Oneshot, Merlin/Arthur

Summary: After all Merlin's gone through, you'd think it would take some world-ending magic spell or an almost successful attempt on Arthur's life to shake him properly.

It isn't one of those, and Merlin has no idea why.

He just knows he can't be weak.

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The Only Reward Bestowed Upon Me by greatdumbking Gen, Oneshot, Merlin/Arthur, angst, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, Episode: s04e05 His Father's Son, Fix-It, Agravaine, Canon Era, Love Confessions

Summary: “You’re wrong Merlin. I don’t need anyone. I can’t afford that luxury. The kingdom's my responsibility now, and mine to bear alone. And you must learn to accept that.”

How could this hurt so much, a third time? Merlin could feel the façade of his casual indifference faltering. His face fell, tears were clawing at his throat, creeping into his eyes. It took all his effort to nod, steel his eyes, and swallow down the rising sob.

(How did Merlin get chosen the be the bait? Why did Arthur start pushing Merlin away? Why couldn't he see how much it was hurting him?)

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Maybe Not the Most Awkward Dinner to Happen in Camelot's Citadel, but it's Definitely Up There by HopePrevails Gen, Gwen/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Oneshot, Humour, past Gwen/Merlin

Summary: When an argument about whether Merlin is remotely attractive or not breaks out over dinner, Queen Guinevere accidentally drops into the conversation that she had a crush on him when he first arrived in Camelot. Arthur takes it... like Arthur.

--x--

“Don’t look so surprised, Merlin.” Gwen said kindly. Perhaps she was the psychic. “You’re sweet and gentle, charismatic-” Arthur snorted. “- and I’m not going to let you walk out of those doors thinking you don’t look the part, either. Remember, even when you first came to Camelot, I-” She stopped herself, snapping her lips tightly shut.

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[groundbreakingdot872]

If he could see me now - Mergwen Wedding Day 💖

———————

The night before her wedding day, Gwen found herself thinking of her late father.

She had taken refuge in her old home, her own wedding tradition, and as she lay on the lumpy cot that was repurposed as her bed, she wondered what her father would’ve thought of her now.

Tom had always made his approval of Merlin clear, from the very moment Morgana had credited her rescue from execution (the first time!) to Merlin. He had clasped hands with the blushing manservant, and hadn’t spoken much of it on the way home, only too relieved his daughter slept safe and sound that night.

But the very next morning, he had gotten up early before attending to the forge, and made breakfast. As she smiled at him over the spruced up meal, he had had remarked off hand. “So that’s the Merlin fellow you’re always jabbering about?”

“Father!” Gwen had been embarrassed that he had paid attention to her crush.

“I like the guy.” He had said with an amused smile, before adding “Don’t let him get away Gwennie.” And with a small nod he had left for work.

Gwen had found his clear approval a surprise, he hardly liked any of the smitten boys in the village growing up!, and she endeavored to see it through. Even then she had known, Merlin would play a great role in her future and destiny.

And even though she’d tried to make her admiration as obvious as possible, she’d even kissed the damn boy!, Merlin seemed incredibly oblivious to it all. His mind had been too occupied by Arthur’s chances of survival each week to notice she was sweet on him.

But between them, a bright friendship had blossomed, one she could proudly attest to; even after all the changes in social standings and battle wounds collected over the years.

And now she would marry the man.

———————

If you asked Merlin, he would affectionately complain that Hunith had been championing to get them together years ago!

His very first letters had mentioned the kind maidservant by name (“She kissed you Merlin, could it be anymore obvious than that my boy?”), as he had updated her frequently about his life in Camelot, his homesickness for her pie, and the various mishaps and adventures he had braved through (as well as the admirer he had not anticipated!)

She had warned him even then, to not let a ‘good opportunity with a pretty face’ pass by, but he had waves off her concerns of him ending up codgy and alone, pointing to the all consuming troubles in his life that spelled out Prince Arthur.

He supposed he’d spend his old age keeping company with Arthur’s boots and armor if anything, but of course things hadn’t turned out the way anyone had anticipated.

She had fully warmed up to Gwen on their trip to Ealdor, where the girl had shown great courage fighting for her friends, expected of trained nobles but extraordinary in a servant girl.

In the midst of battle she’d even saved Hunith’s life with a broom and with a smile to spare. Hunith had only eased up on her affectionate nagging when Merlin had to give her the condensed version of what happened with Freya and his passionate vow to never fall in love again. Even then she had wished for nothing but his eventual happiness.

———————

Gwen walked down the aisle on Gaius’ arm, just as she had the last time she’d gotten married. She couldn’t help but feel the familiar heartbreak rise up again, that her father hadn’t been alive to see his daughter get married not once but twice!

But she knew without a doubt that he’d have fashioned their wedding bands if he could; Tom had always wanted her to find a love as steady as he had in Gwen’s mother, something she now knows Merlin can give her.

She leaves his work gloves on the bench in front of her, as they exchange vows.

———————

Looking into Gwen’s eyes Merlin can’t help but wonder if his father had felt as lightweight when he’d first laid eyes on Hunith.

He doesn’t know what his father would say of him now, marrying a Pendragon, with a pretty crown on his head and the eyes of all of Camelot upon him. Growing up, he never thought he’d had his fill of stories about his father but his mother would always note that he had his eyes, a remark that comforted him now.

He’s met the man, and had spent a few short moments with him, but he knew without a doubt that Balinor would be proud of him for the strength and character of the woman he chose to marry. Merlin is reasssured that a part of the DragonLord is reflected within himself.

As the ceremony goes on, he doesn’t miss the way Gaius shakes with tears in the row ahead of him, already overcome with emotion for his adopted son.

He tries to subtly wipe a tear from his own eye in reaction as he leans in to kiss his wife for the very first time.

———————

As the newlyweds turn to face their friends and family with cheer on their faces, a sense of brilliant joy and bittersweet contentment fills the room and burrows in the heart of every guest present.

They are so few, the survivors, and the echoes of the people they will always miss can be heard if you stop to stand still and listen quietly for a moment.

But after that moment, and all the moments that follow, they rejoice in the new age of Camelot that has been solidified by their marriage.

And when they look into each other’s eyes, they see not only a commitment but a newly-born hope; a true and steadfast promise to never brave those moments alone again.

———————

a draft for ‘once and always’ on ao3 💕

[natvrefairy]

Hi, I saw ur request rules and wondered if I could ask for a merlin X reader (romantic) and it's like really fluffy? Thx 😊

A/N: Of course! I'm so happy my first request is for Merlin, because both him and the entire show are just so iconic. I really hope you like this. :)

Something Meaningful (Merlin x Reader)

Requested: Yes!

Reader Pronouns: They/them

Word Count: 1,529

C/W: Uther is dead. A little bit of self-doubt on Merlin's side. Occasional rant. A little bit of stream of consciousness. (Cause I'm experimenting with that technique.) Fluff!

Context: Morgana's alive and good. Mordred and the rest of the knights are also still alive, but they're not really mentioned. Arthur and Gwen are King and Queen. Arthur's allowed magic in Camelot, and they know about and accept Merlin! And LGBTQ+ is accepted! (Cause reader is they/them, and there's no angst here. ^^)

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

When Uther died, Camelot was a bit of a mess. Not that it wasn't before; Uther's reign wasn't a particularly cheerful one. But although he wasn't the kindest person, people still loved him, and his death simply came as a shock to everyone.

Arthur took it the hardest. But honestly, that was to be expected. When most people lose their parent, they get time to grieve, but Arthur didn't have the luxury of time. Uther died, and Arthur was thrown into power.

The first few months were the worst. Not just for Arthur, but the whole castle. But with Guinevere and Merlin by his side, he got through it. And with Arthur as King, it no longer mattered what anyone thought of his relationship with Gwen, because she was now the Queen.

But with Guinevere becoming Queen, a small issue arose. The Lady Morgana no longer had a servant.

Morgana, being as lovely as she was, truly didn't care about the loss of her maidservant. She still had her friend, and enjoyed her independence. But her brother thought it necessary, so the job was given to (Y/N).

Gaius didn't appreciate losing his other helper, but he couldn't say no to the King, so that was that.

But then, Gwen also needed a servant. And once again, the job was given to (Y/N). Merlin most definitely did not approve of his best friend's drastic increase in work load.

"I always knew you were an ass, but I didn't realise you were stupid as well." Merlin told Arthur the following morning.

Arthur's new title as King didn't change Merlin's attitude towards him in the slightest.

"Merlin, you can't address me like that."

"I did before, why is it any different now? Your highness."

"I am the King."

"Doesn't change the fact that you're an ass."

(Y/N) managed to talk Merlin down, but that didn't mean he liked the idea of them having to rush around everywhere all the time. Although, at least it was only Gwen and Morgana, who were both perfectly capable of taking care of themselves.

If it was two Arthur's, that would be an entirely different story.

That was about two years ago now. Camelot has had law changes since; such as the lifted ban on magic, allowing people to freely practise their gift, and the new acceptance of anyone identifying as other than cisgender/heterosexual.

And finally, at long last, the land of Albion was united.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Having both grown up in Ealdor, Merlin and (Y/N) were always close. (Y/N) would constantly seek out Merlin and William, the three of them soon becoming best friends. When Merlin set off to Camelot, (Y/N) tagged along to look out for him, Will staying behind with his father.

Unlike Merlin, (Y/N) didn't possess any magic. But although being completely normal, they always went out of their way to try understand what their friend was going through. They never understood Uther's hatred towards magic. Even without having any themself, they absolutely adored Merlin's gift. Witnessing him in action never failed to put (Y/N) in a state of awe.

But of course, Merlin is much more than his magic. That, (Y/N) always knew, even when he didn't believe it himself. They were always there for him, and he was always there for them. That was how it always was, and how it always will be.

Which is why it was so hard for either of them to pinpoint exactly when their feelings grew. They always cared deeply for each other, but at some point, both completely unaware, those feelings blossomed until they were both completely and utterly in love.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The two friends were granted the evening off, and unbeknownst to (Y/N), Gwen and Morgana had something up their sleeve. Having long figured out the pair's mutual yet oblivious feelings, the women decided to take matters into their own hands.

This involved giving them the evening off, and directly telling Merlin to confess.

"I'm sure they feel the same way," Gwen encouraged, "I know it's hard, but try something meaningful. If you can't say how you feel out loud, do something special instead."

So here Merlin was, a nervous wreck as he lead (Y/N) outside of Camelot, to a small forest clearing. What if they didn't like it? What if they turned him down? Then it could lead to disaster and they won't want to be his friend anymore and everything they had built will go to waste.

"Merlin," (Y/N) grasps his hand, immediately gaining his attention, "whatever has you stressing out, it's okay. I'm here, and I always will be. We'll face it together."

Taking a deep breath, he had them close their eyes, before gently leading them in the right direction. Glancing around to make sure everything was in place, he tried his best to calm his nerves.

'You can do this,' he thought to himself, 'you can tell dragons what to do, and they listen. This should be easy.'

"Merlin?"

"Oh, right, sorry. You can open your eyes now."

Opening their eyes, (Y/N) gaped at the scene before them. A rug laid out on the grass, all their favourite snacks and fruit laid out in front of them. Glancing between the dinner and Merlin in a combination of joy and surprise, they struggled for words.

"You did all of this?"

"Well, I may have stolen some things from the kitchen, but... I hope you like it?"

(Y/N) laughed - one of Merlin's favourite sounds - and pulled him over to sit down.

"Thank you."

Just their smile was enough to calm Merlin's nerves, and everything melted away as they began to eat, telling stories and laughing. Everything between them seemed perfect.

That is, everything except for the unsaid feelings.

As they finished and the moon began to rise, they cleared up a bit before laying down to stargaze.

"Star-gazing was a good idea," (Y/N) said softly after a while, turning their head to face Merlin, "but I have to ask, what was this all for?"

"What? Aren't I allowed to just spend time with my best friend?" Merlin replied, a little too quickly.

"Of course, but that's not what I mean. You seemed really nervous earlier. I can tell when you want to say something, Merlin."

He turned his head away in embarrassment, so (Y/N) shifted their body to properly face him.

"Hey, look at me," they said, placing their hand on his cheek and tilting his head back towards them, "you know you can always tell me anything. We've been through so much together. Nothing will scare me away."

Merlin gazed into their eyes in silence for a moment, before speaking up, voice barely a whisper, "It's hard to say it out loud. Can I just show you?"

"Of course. Whatever's best for you."

Slowly, he moved one hand to rest on (Y/N)'s cheek, hesitating slightly as his gaze shifted between their captivating (E/C) eyes and plump lips. Finally, deciding it's either now or never, he leaned forward, tilting his head as he captured their lips in a tentative kiss. He felt them stiffen slightly, his heart racing as his mind flooded with unwanted thoughts. This was the end. They were going to shove him away and never speak to him again.

But then, the thing he expected least of all happened; they actually reciprocated the kiss.

Their hand moved to his hair, butterflies going wild in their stomach. They never expected him to feel the same way about them, and now they couldn't even think straight. The only thing they could concentrate on was the feeling of his lips on their own.

Eventually, the sweet moment came to an end, leaving each of them completely breathless, faces only inches apart. They gazed into each other's eyes, catching their breath while they both tried to process what just occurred.

Then, all at once Merlin freaked out and started a rant, desperately trying to explain himself. Apology after apology flooded out of his mouth, raving on and on about how much he loves them and how he probably ruined everything and should have just kept his feelings all to himself.

(Y/N) cut him off with a small kiss on his lips, leaving him staring at them in shock when they pulled away.

"I love you too, Merlin. I thought I was so obvious about it," she laughed softly, gently running her fingers through his hair. "I'm so lucky to have you in my life, and I'm glad you feel the same."

His shock vanished, and he gave that heartwarming smile of his as he wrapped his arms around them, pulling them close. "You have no idea how happy that makes me."

And so they stayed there like that, laying and enjoying each other's company in the comfort of their mutual feelings. They stayed there until they decided it was time to head back and face Gaius' concerned wrath on them staying out so late. But for once, it didn't bother them listening to his lecture, because their lives had just changed for the better.