#and no obviously im not saying the others are worse im just saying how do people accept astarion when hes Actually manipulative but not gale
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i guess i have to say it a million times since people insist on being dense: gale is just as much of a victim as the other companions. this isn't the trauma olympics. everyone has been through shit and deserves healing and redemption.
gale is not the self entitled, manipulative abuser people are painting him as. he's a lot of things, but nothing so heinous. he was groomed by a goddess who has a history of preying on wizards that threaten her power, and as a result, gale's ambition and faith was what drove him to discover the netherese orb. what he did was for mystra - in his mind, it was to prove his love by restoring her missing power - and by extension for the betterment of mortals. his actions were never malicious or selfish, in fact he puts himself so low on the priority list it's pretty much non existent. he was never going to use that power to usurp her, but mystra definitely saw it like that, which is why she didn't hesitate to present suicide as his only solution. he never crossed her personal boundaries in the way people are twisting it, he only wanted to cross the boundaries she put on wizards and their power.
people who insist he's all of these things and more clearly only spoke to him once or lack the reading comprehension to see past how much of an unreliable narrator he is. i can understand first impressions might put some people off, but you can say the same about the other companion introductions. i don't like comparing but since people insist on doing it; gale is one of the easiest companions to get along with just by being a good person, yet his honesty and selflessness makes people think he's secretly evil? while the companions with the capacity to be evil don't even try to hide it? how are people being so backwards about this? it's genuinely baffling and tiring to see people continuously spit out incorrect takes all too confidently.
no one is forcing anyone to like him, but it's unfair to completely mischaracterize him because you refuse to learn critical thinking. i promise using your brain is not as scary as it seems, or you can just. not talk about things you don't understand.
#all of them have issues but that doesn't mean they're irredeemable monsters. unless you push them to but that's on you#people are shocked that astarions ascended ending is so bad. yeah what did you expect from a soul sacrificing ritual for power lol#i cannot stress this enough. i don't care if people don't like gale. i care and am annoyed about the complete lack of media literacy skills#to the point where people are ruining such interesting characters. its a shame people can't appreciate good writing when we finally get it#anyway whatever idk if this makes sense its like 4am and ive looked at this post for too long#i have so much more to say but again its like not worth telling if it falls on deaf ears#gale dekarios#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3#bg3#six speaks#and no obviously im not saying the others are worse im just saying how do people accept astarion when hes Actually manipulative but not gale#i love star but we cant pretend hes not like that . and we cant pretend that gale is
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Asking because Iâm extremely curious about this, how did MonPromâs writing get different over time? I remember you saying that the lore and characters feel different, and that it's missing sincere character interactions, too. I know almost nothing about the lore and Iâve only seen a few people mention the characters, so Iâd be interested in a rundown of what aspects you think got worse in the series
I wouldnât mind a very long response since Iâm not that active in the fandom, I need to catch up on what happened
sorry for taking so long to answer this! i kinda waffled on it for a long bit, mainly because i started doubting myself again, and whether or not this was me simply overreacting or being tinted by nostalgia or simply being extremely picky and choosy in what i like (the last of which is true, i seldom get into fandoms at all for this reason and stay away from most popular media, but i wasn't sure if it applied here). i've posted about it already, but i'm in the middle of a psychotic episode where i can't feel a lot of pleasure to begin with + most things i do experience ending up solidly in the "very bad" category, so as you can imagine, i really didn't want to mislead and check that i was actually in objective reality.
as it is, this is also when a lot more screenshots started to be posted in the monster prom tag, and that helped me bridge the gap back into returning to the games themselves and feel like i was making a more accurate judgement. if you're one of those people who have been posting screenshots, i sincerely thank you, and i appreciated seeing you in the tag greatly.
for those not in the know â i've been in the monster prom fandom since it first released, prior to even the first additional ending to be added (the "Punch the sun" ending, and i recall the minor fandom drama that happened at that time due to it). my impression of monster prom is very much influenced by this, as what got me into the first game was the fact that the characters genuinely seemed to care for each other and were friends with each other (not merely tolerating each other's presences nor dressing it up, they sincerely thought of each other as friends and were open about that fact), on top of the wide variety of small details and statements that, if taken at face value, could create compounding complexity in the lives of each and every character and had wider implications for their lives.
no, they were not necessarily explored nor even necessarily "real", with so many conflicting events and statements, but i liked this too, because it meant a wider flexibility in what you could imagine, helping to create a more tailored experience for everyone who thought about these characters. this was what i liked about the early fandom too. what was baseline "canon" was so vague and minimal that you could have wildly different interpretations of the same characters' histories and relationships with each other. you would have radically different perspectives on what the world itself looked like, what it was like, that there wasn't really any wrong answers so long as their personalities remained the same. this is where you got the old headcanon of polly and liam being childhood friends who knew each other as humans, or that the world of monster prom was post-apocalypse where humanity itself had gone extinct or only existed in tiny pockets, or my personal headcanon that both monster and human society existed right next to each other and had minimal crossover for petty cultural reasons. this was also prior zoe-as-ro, and there were wildly different interpretations of zoe's personality, with most going for a far more disquieting creepy-cute than the deep nerd we got.
this is why you get stuff like the timeloop theory, where everyone is repeating the same weeks leading up to prom over and over, and are perhaps vaguely aware of it but broadly unconcerned. this is also why it felt like the joke that, the characters were still in high school but were all fully legal adults with most in their 20's, best landed, because it was absurd and strange and didn't quite make sense, but the world itself was inherently absurd and semi-malleable to begin with. realistically, i felt like everyone understood it was making fun of the trope of having adults play teenagers in american sitcoms and wildly casting outside the age range, but for more in-universe explanations it wasn't any different from the way that you would have a large, dramatic ending in which everything changed, but then you'd restart and everyone would be right back at the beginning with nothing different, or even having conflicting events in the same run. it was a dream-logic that fit with the tropes and, thus, diagetically made sense.
to be clear, i don't mind canon having a set, well, canon on which it refers back to itself. i don't mind expanding that or including more things which are set in stone. but there was a perceivable shift in how the games handled this over time, becoming a lot more... bitter, it felt, towards all of these different branching ideas and concepts that, yeah, the people making them knew wouldn't necessarily be "canon" because "canon" already liked to contradict itself so much. most people weren't even sold on any one idea, and there was a much greater sense of enjoying and appreciating all the varying ideas people would come up with even if you personally didn't share them. making the characters be out of character was the real crime, because then it didn't diagetically make sense in the same way, didn't wholly fit.
(again, this is not to say fanon didn't happen and characters weren't smoothed down into a simplified personality that fit these varying fan-interpretations instead of the game itself. certainly damien love/lust was just as bad as it had ever been, and everyone loved to mangle his character into a more stereotypical "bad boy with a heart of hold" all the time. but it certainly felt less set-in-stone about it than it does now, with any deviation from the norm being considered strange and odd and even broadly shunned from the wider fandom.)
all of this is setup for establishing what the writing, lore, and characters felt like in the earlier days. the characters were the strongest part, with their relationships to each other being equally as important. the lore played it fast and loose and was far less interested in setting anything in concrete because that wasn't the important part. the lore wasn't the important part, which was what made it all the more intoxicating to think about, all the more fun to play with.
montrip is easily the biggest offender when it comes to setting everything in all-or-nothing terms and demanding absolutism from the world. broadly i blame the hitchhiker conversations for the worst of it, but i think ultimately the way they handled the entire premise of the game is where this problem stems from. it's not really an exploration in the same sense that you might explore the first game, discovering different perspectives and different people with different relationships to each other. it's an exploration in the sense of a sequel that over-explains the monster, that takes the most boring option out of all those that were possible and floating around and settles on something that was blatant, obvious, typically rejected not because of how novel it is but how trite and par for the course it is in the rest of the genre.
yeah, okay. humans know nothing about monsters and there's a "monster dimension" that exists separately from the human dimension. there's no crossover between the two of them. of course there's a big grand-scale fight between the eldritch powers that zoe used to be a part of, from which not only are slayers the main organization against them, but also the merkingdom has some horse in this race too. it's an urge to make things so universal in explaining them, in revealing connecting threads which unite everything that's ever happened in here, that makes the worldbuilding and lore immediately much more boring than it ever was before.
and it didn't have to be this way! nothing in the first game contradicts any of this too explicitly (see the above, the first game loves to contradict itself), and i would even be happy if this was basically canon but never stated or confirmed to be the big overarching everything going on underneath it all. i believe you should probably know these things about any world that you create and have them in the back of your mind. the difference is that you can know these things and keep them in mind, even focusing on things where its very relevant, and still not reveal them. this is why you have lore bibles, after all. every horror writer knows exactly how their monster works and the full underlying reason for everything that happens, but that doesn't mean the audience will see it or possess this same information too, and leaving it intentionally obscure will make far better stories.
which, this is bad enough, but it wouldn't be the breaking point for me if this was all there was.
but the worst thing of all has to be the slow decay of the very same characters that sold me on this world, this lore, this game in the first place. monster prom is nothing without the characters in it. it's a dating sim, it has nothing but characters to get you to play, and liking these characters are the entire reason anyone would pick up monster prom in the first place.
and the first game pulls this off extremely well. it's all in the tagline: be your worst self. they are, indeed, all terrible people. yes, even that character that you just thought of right now. they all have points in the game where they commit atrocities, where they kill or hurt people, where they do inexcusable things that could not be ignored in a more serious setting.
but that's the point. i think there's something very powerful in creating a character who not only do you love and love their personality and the way they interact with the world, but who also are inapologetically terrible, and to have the humor and the charisma be so good that you don't get bogged down in the "this is awful". likewise, it never feels the urge to really go out of its way to justify what's going on. this is not to say theres no discussion of if someone "deserved it", but usually there's still the sense that the joke is on them, that this is still an extreme reaction specifically for comedy and not necessarily something that can be justified. you can have damien set leonard on fire and have it feel earned, without prompting the needed reaction of what it's actually like to watch someone burn to death.
this is what sets the prank masterz ending apart from the rest of the game, and really establishes it as the first real "bad ending". because nothing that you do or happens in the prank masterz ending is any different from anything else that happens in any other run. you summon evil beings from other dimensions as a throwaway gag on how visiting one location raises your stats. you kill other people and damn them to terrible fates. you watch as body horror happens. the only difference is that, in the prank masterz ending, the laugh track doesn't play.
the rest of the game and the writing echoes this philosophy, this careful interplay of tropes that keeps everything tongue in cheek and yet sincere enough to make sure emotional beats still land when they're needed. the characters feel true to themselves and their own emotions, even when the world is extreme and excessive, when everything else runs on comedy logic.
this is also what i noticed failing first as time went on.
like i said, fanon has always existed and there's always been very specific ideas as to what characters are like in the same way fanon always flattens down characters into the same tropes over and over. scott is stupid and innocent and doesn't know what sex is. damien is violent and hot and too cool for anyone else. miranda is the idiot girl character. repeat over and over and over until you get sick of it.
but it's been an issue as time has crept on that canon has started to approach fanon and began to merge with it. now, scott is so innocent that he can't even curse. polly starts being mean to her friends and saying things that would be very hurtful to hear. the merkingdom isn't really super evil and fucked up, it's just miranda that's like that. they become simpler, easier to digest, streamlined for social media posts and mass-sharing. they become less and less subversions of existing tropes and moreso just another example of them, something else to add to the collection, not their own individual stories.
even further from this, what more complex traits they had are now stated and not shown. polly is stated to be smart and clever in a way that her party girl persona doesn't imply and to be sincerely rather down to earth with the people she cares about, but we seldom ever see this anymore unless its the game specifically trying to make a point about it, in which case it won't let her do anything that implies cleverness and moreso will just outline it in the narration. vera is stated to care for people in a very genuine and heartfelt way, but seldom will get a chance to do so, and every opportunity for her to do so to their faces is missed while she will just outright state it later. it does not feel consistent, it does not feel like any of these are intended reads of their actions. it feels like the devs have something they want to do but no idea on how to actually do so. and forget it if you want these traits to manifest in small ways that show up in unrelated moments and scenes.
the dialogue becomes harder and harder to tell between each speaker, if you are just looking at what's said and not at the pictures attached to it. the characters' distinct voices have been eroded away, so that they speak more and more like each other, relaying the same terms and ideas in the same words. perspective becomes a suggestion, instead of a must.
this is something that started back in monster camp too, as all of the endings in that game felt ultimately the same as every other ending. it's very hard to place or define the full reason why, why there feels like there's no emotional stakes nor investment, why everything feels moreso like selecting different coats of paint and trying to find all the different ending pictures rather than being interested in exploring the characters as characters.
stranger yet, the series that started with the tagline of "be your worst self" has experienced a kind of... softening, for lack of a better word? what i mentioned about being able to handle the balance between terrible people who do terrible things and the light tone of the game starts to change, as abruptly the same characters who were down with violent murder in the first game start to lose their nerve, acting more and more on more typical morality. it's one of those things that feels like it's starting to damage the tone, as abruptly it's not as absurd as it used to be, demands less suspension of disbelief which could buffer and support the rest of the setting on it. there's even a part in one of the endings in montrip which involves current-polly and current-scott looking back on their monprom selves and reacting in horror at how violent and careless their pranks are, in a way that fundamentally felt like it was undercutting and disparaging all the things that felt fun and made monprom what it was.
which is odd, really, because more and more i feel like the characters in these games like each other less and less. the friendships and genuine enjoyment of each others company that brought me to this game in the first place has gone. now they don't mention each other as much, don't care for each other's feelings and reactions as much, aren't as willing to support each other. they are more and more found on their own, relied on their own, seem to seek out contact and interaction with their own friends less and less. it feels like they're all separating out into their own worlds, but also feels like they wouldn't willingly want to interact with each other if they weren't already forced together by some other outside contrivance.
if anything, i'd compare it to every other dating sim out there, where you, the player, are the most important person in these characters' lives, and they only feel ambivalent or antagonistic towards every other character. which, again, is not why i picked up monster prom or why i liked it so much in the first place.
and it's because of this that it feels like the current state of the series has to focus on its increasingly weak worldbuilding and lore, trying to form a more serious foundation without character relationships being so tightly bound together, without the characters themselves being more developed and rich, without an aspect of absurd humor to rely on.
more and more i've noticed monprom has to rely on referencing other series to make itself funny and create humor, which, again, it's always done. it was just easier to ignore back then, if you didn't know what was being referenced, because there was always more going on in the exact same scene to bolster it and give context clues as to the setup and punchline at play. it feels like the current games are much more dependent on you knowing pop culture references in order to have any fun with it, and i'm someone who, again, is very picky in what i like or what i'll seek out. i'm not interested in a stream of references about other things that i would much rather be doing than playing through a game that feels like it hates that i like it at all, when i could, again, just be engaging with the thing that takes itself seriously and knows what it wants.
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#monster prom#asks#vanillabeenflower#this is. so long i am so sorry.#and its still not my entire thoughts because i have so many thoughts#this is an unedited ramble tbh and im very sorry for that#i have more complaints like#how fucking snide and condescending the narration is to its own characters#which it already had but gets even worse in the later games#which is why despite loving aaravi i dont want to play moncamp at all#where a character says they like something or feel something and the narration has to be so. sarcastic about it?#like how i mentioned about how it feels like how its looking down on them as people#instead of whats probably the intended read which is#more jokingly calling them dumb in an affectionate way like how you might do with friends#and ofc theres the whole miranda rant#i hate what theyve done with the merkingdom and i HATE adrien as a concept i wont lie#just. cool. this female character is too stupid to count as a lore character. we obviously need a MALE character to fill in instead#we cant just have miranda talk about this or center any of the other female characters#and how they feel about this and whats going on for them#no we need to make up a new man to talk to instead#im. im still really bitter about it i wont lie.#like i said i could go on and get way more specific about it#i just feel like any and all emotional weight to this has died and the characters are more and more obviously actors on a stage#for your own self gratification rather than their own people living their own lives#this is so bitter and i really shouldnt put this in the main tag#i am so sorry everyone who will see my rant. but my peace must be made.#dont worry im already asking myself if im just making all this shit up myself#what if some of us liked that the characters were so mean to the player and had no qualms about aggressively rejecting us#because it gave some illusion of them being able to make their own choices and decisions in what they wanted
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i feel like sometimes people who post negatively about sam forget how those posts impact the people who are reading them and who also connect to sam as a character and/or the actions that heâs taken. there are so many sam posts that just make me think. someoneâs going to see that whoâs going through the same thing and they are going to feel so much worse. especially when talking about sam & stanford or sam & being othered. and ofc thereâs no problem with discussing these things within the context of the show and the way that the characters are reacting to them, but it gets a bit unnerving when the opinions start to stretch out of the show and into real life situations
#idk if this makes sense bc itâs late but like. my sister views me going to college similarly to how dean views sam going to college#and i see posts about sam and stanford and âabandoningâ dean and im like oh ! oh okay.#& Iâve seen people say similar things to this in the notes of other posts#talking about how they dislike certain sections of the fandom because they look down on samâs autistic-coded traits#or samâs reactions to abuse that theyâve also experienced#and idk obviously itâs fiction and you can do whatever you want with it forever and ever#I just do think itâs important to acknowledge real life impact and how deanâs pov is fundamentally flawed#so supporting it to other people who are experiencing similar things and looking for catharsis may make them feel worse#and again. seriously itâs fiction and heâs a fictional character. but i just think itâs important to remember things like this#star notes
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this isnt what i usually post on this blog but I'm already sick of all the memes and 'jokes'. I am almost certainly leaving the fandom for good now because of the book of bills release and NO it is not because billford's community has an influx of supporters.
So the worship and romanticization of asylums and other abusive practices for mental health have been steadily gaining traction in recent years, especially with the rise of tiktok's toxicity.
SO many people, especially younger people, regularly talk about how they want lobotomies or how women they don't like should be lobotomized. They get tattoos of lobotomy like it's some quirky fun thing and not one of the most horrific tortures someone can endure.
These same people, ESPECIALLY leftists, will look at anyone they disagree with or don't like and say "get institutionalized, loser" or "et therapy" and it's always in a mocking way. it's always in a policing way.
because these people know that mental wards strip everyone of their freedom and their bodily autonomy. they know these places arent for healing--theyre for silencing.
So the amount of people i see treating bill being institutionalized like a good thing---even the writers and alex himself?
Yeah. Im out âđŒ
#you people try to act quirky and say you like weird stuff and you like crazy people and hate normies#but then when someone isnt a normie and actually does want to change things in radical ways you want to put them in an asylum#i do not want to interact with any of you people!#i still love gravity falls (obviously) but im just... so over the fandom at this point.#even people who LIKE bill are trying to act like this is all a good thing#guess what asylums dont help :) they almost always make things worse!#so in reality if bill ever got out he would just be 100x worse and more vengeful than before! congrats.#Play stupid games get stupid prizes!#gravity falls#antipsych#i seriously dont understand why anyone things mental wards are in any way different than how they used to be a hundred yeears ago.#because they arent. at all. like literally at all.#they forcefully medicate you with pills that you dont need and that actively harm you bc random ass nurses diagnose you with#someething different every other day and ust give you a new pill for every diagnosis#i know someone who was put on antipsychs when not only do they not have a psych disorder but they had a heart condition and#nearly died bc of it. I myself was put on three different pills the very night i went in. they never#even hesitated to wait and see if i would have a bad reaection or if i reeally needed it.#bc why would they when heavily meedicating you makes you unable to think or reaelize what theyre doing is extremely unethical?#i saw multiple people held down and strapped to their beds and given sedatives for doing nothing at all. For simply asking questions.#I saw staff harass and mock and disrespect very speciifc kids (specifically the poc kids.)#I saw staff lie and try to incite fear in other kids and myself.#one of them told me the night before i was cleared for release tat if i said 'im fine' at any point they would keep me for another month.#and that if i didnt continue to take the meds (ssris) that i was overdosing on that they would come grab me in a van and bring me back#against my will.#Keep in mind i was here based off of lies. There was no real reason for me to be in that asylum.#So yeah. literally dont come on this post trying to defend asylums bc i PROMISE you i have more experience in the reality than you#ever could.#Theyre horrible and romanticising it even against a fictional villain is repulsive behavior.
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laalalalala another vent post because i have no therapist to pay for listening to my bullshit
#i just dont fucking get it lol#like i genuinely just cannot grasp the concept#i dont usually do this but i finally snapped and asked her if she thought about how *I* would feel when she texts me#about the 'letting herself go' and how she's disgusting and a monster. and she hits me with a 'no because this is how she feels#she's feeling really really badly so that's what she's thinking about atm' like ok??????????? is this like. normal?#because no matter how horrible i feel at any point of time i will ALWAYS think about how my words may affect the other person FIRST#because the last thing i want is to make someone feel worse because i feel bad. there is a constant calculus party going in my brain#where i try to calculate how much and in what words i can tell say to this particular person to absolutely minimise the chance#that they'll feel bad or uncomfortable or whatever because of what i say. ofc i will slip up and miscalculate every once in a while#shit happens and i am sorry if i do but at least i can honestly say to myself that i did what i could to Not do that.#i will always think about the other person first because (usually) id like people to return the same action towards me.#and idk maybe im tweaking here but isnt that like. normal???? like the obvious logical thing to do they teach you in kindergarten?#sorry. heavily catholic upbringing moment but what happened to 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you'????????#anyway. obviously there will always be slip ups and unusual occasions but to openly just state that because you were feeling really bad#you didnt really care what the other person would feel when you tell them something is fucking WILD to me. like genuinely inconceivable.#this is not to assume a holier-than-thou persona but i really do think this is the normal fucking thing to do if you're an adult?????#like oh my god sometimes you will just have to shut up and not fully vent upon someone especially if its uninvited and out of the blue#i think its different if you're having a heart-to-heart trauma bonding moment or sth and someone *asks you* to vent etc etc#but to just treat every instance when you're feeling bad as a permission to just say whatever with 0 consideration for the other person???#wild. really fucking weird to me that's all.#âštumblr vent postsâš dont count ofc you are not only allowed but legally required to say the deepest most horrible batshit insane thoughts#that ever cross your mind <33 like i would not tell a person irl that i daydream about the woodchipper thing obviously cause its fuckn nuts#uwu teehee episode 2137 of 'i dont understand the way the world and other people work and its driving me insane lol&lmao'
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thank you for the long & thought out response. while i do fully agree with you on stances like prison abolition & the myth of the stranger pedophile scapegoat, my question and discomfort with jimmyâs actions comes not so much from a political/philosophical standpoint but from a very human emphatic one. i put myself in the shoes of the girl he groomed and abused and imagine people listening to and enjoying the music of my abuser and it makes me sick to my stomach. so thats more where my guilt and discomfort comes from. that said i canât say that their music doesnât have an impact or isnât enjoyable. i also agree with you that this mass outrage and very public renunciation and demand for punishment is very much a social mechanism and automatic reaction that quite simplifies a complex situation. however these mechanisms exist for a certain evolutionary purpose after all (sorry my background is psychology) but thats sort of besides the point because im also not a fan of how these things get handled with zero nuance.Â
its also true what you said that me or you or anyone deciding to disengage with this band or their music changes nothing in the grand scheme of things, so doing it as some sort of Noble Cause against abuse is useless. so in this case i feel itâs up to personal preference and whether or not i can swallow the cognitive dissonance and discomfort this information arises in me whenever i listen to their music from now on.Â
thanks again for the insightful response, iâm glad we can have this sort of discussion because i also think this topic is extremely important but people often shy away from it because itâs so heavy.Â
im glad you asked me to share! like i said ive spent a lot of time thinking abt this specifically so its very much like years worth of mishmash thoughts kinda strung together only by me experiencing them over time in succession lol. but i agree its important to talk about it especially within a culture so ensnared in the logic of the prison and particularly how effectively thats been exported into like 'mob justice' for lack of a better word.
re: the emotive aspect im not sure i have much to say other than like Yeah its a very strong one and i dont think its a bad thing at all to have. i got the impression from ur ask--and idk how true this is--that you were wrestling between a desire to return to the music bc you enjoyed it and that response preventing you and feeling a sort of obligation to do one over the other n struggling with that. so i think i approached it as like 'heres ways you can reason w that emotional response and grapple w it if its smth ur agonizing over' or something like that. im also a firm believer in the ways politics shapes the ways we think n feel so my instinct was to tease out some of the structures that may be shaping ur thought processes--which of course i nor anyone but you can fully know. but i dont get that same sense from how u describe it here and either way i think whatever feeling ur having about it is like...i dont want to say its 'valid' but ur allowed to have that and do whatever you want pretty much lol. i cant and am not going to force anyone to engage w the band and theres probably more reasons than i could think to list why its not for everyone even without the sordidness of abuse hanging over it.
without getting into a much much broader discussion i would gently push back on the idea of a biologically innate reason for the existence of carceral/punitive logics (and frankly psychology more broadly), if only bc it does a lot of the work of justifying them. keep in mind that these are concepts ideas and patterns of thought that exist because they serve systems of power and particularly the state. we did not have to have a society which created them, we only happen to--which is to say theyre not innate in this way and i disagree that they have an 'evolutionary' purpose bc it fails to properly historicize them. but thats me coming from an antipsych position lol
#asks#frankly for me its like....sometimes we do feel that emotional reaction n sometimes we dont#and im interested in where the difference is or where the line is drawn#some things are considered 'too big to fail' theres plenty of other much more influential musicians that have equal or worse allegations#but nowhere near the same response#and part of this is just 'size' its much more effective to do this to a smaller artist n a smaller community than like potential millions#of say michael jackson fans right. so part of this for me is yeah why does jimmy urine make ppl feel so strongly#and again part of it is 'size' msi is smaller its like 'cult classic' music for lack of a better word and its obviously evidently queer#so u can weaponize that extant fear of queer ppl and within the queer community of people fearing us#thats not to like diagnose that as something going on w u just that like....the emotional response itself is politically complicated#is what im going for here#so sorry i gave u a bunch a lot of stuff that may not have had anything to do with how ur feeling . i was thinking about other shit#im glad u appreciated though lol!
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Blood-work came back fine which either means I really do have a mysterious deadly illness OR its my mental health that's fucking up my physical health. Now my dilemma for my upcoming appointment .. do I mention how neurotically devastated I've been feeling these last months, knowing the doctor might be relieved to blame it all on hysteria instead of doing more testing ? Or do I just... not say anything about that.. lol
#i feel very very uncomfortable referring to diagnoses or specific mental health conditions that i cannot confirm i have (!)#but if this is indeed all linked to that stuff that happened 4months ago#which hypothetically would be linked to some unpleasantness that idk about from the past#then yes. my physical symptoms could technically be explained by a triggered trauma response#made worse by anxiety stress hightened cortisol levels etc etc#HOWEVER lots of doctors tend to dismiss women abt physical symptoms in favour of blaming mental health issues#and i dont want to give them any reason to do that in case i really am sick fr (as in dying lol)#bit then again i kinda am hysterical đ#im relieved my friends have been so gentle with me abt this but it kinda makes it harder to have a reference point for how insane/normal#my thoughts and reflections are. bc they're just doing that empathetic listening thing. not rly saying what THEY think u know#and dont get me wrong! thats prob the right call! but for once id just like for someone to be like#'obviously u were xx' ??? bc they just keep saying they dont wanna speculate. and i dont either! but im going mad trying to find anwsers#and ig i just want someone to tell me what i should think and do and whats normal and whats not#like??? is it rational for me to think something bad happened or am i being delusional. evil and paranoid ???#am i in denial for believing that nothing might have happened at all and that there might be other things to explain whats going on ??#i just want to know what the normal ppl think bc i feel very far from normal rn#and i can tell my friends are having so many opinions that they are leaving unsaid#which low key is not helping the paranoia BUT once again i know that they are doing it out of kindness and sensitivity đđ#i love my friends and this is not a diss to them !!! i just have a lot of conflicting thoughts and feelings abt it looool#sorry these tags always turn into a rant#diary entries
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Why must I only be capable of coming up with cool art ideas long past midnight
#rat rambles#Ive been thinking abt hypothetical olivia jackie very very loose roleswap au and its just more doomed toxic yuri#itd just be jackie rapidly spiraling and doing stupid shit behind olivias backas olivia becomes more and more emotionally distant#jackie has this fun habit called self sabotaging in such a way that savotages everyone around her as well but way worse#and olivia has this fun habit called not noticing growing jackie problems until its too late#so all in all we get a less terrible gravitas (key word less Im not going to give olivia That much credit) and a far more unstable jackie#and that's saying a lot lol#jackie on her way to become the worlds worst lebian incel unethical scientiwait no thats already canon jackie post cancelled#you see this is why canon jackie is doomed to be worse than any bullshit I could pull off in a swap au because canon jackie has power#but it still is interesting thinking abt how gravitas would differ if primarily ran by olivia instead of jackie#mainly the big thing is that I dont think olivia would do a great job at noticing any decline in employee health being more distant from it#not deliberately so like jackie like olivia would still Try to build a good work environment I just dont know if shed do that good a job#I also feel like shed be equally hard to talk down from a potentially problematic project as jackie if she believed in it enough#olivia is proud of the work that she does and while she has better morals than jackie they still arent exactly ironclad#she and jackie both being self righteous is smth they have in common it just happens that olivia is usually in the right#but that's with the two of them theres plenty of other situations where olivia could easily be on the other end of the argument#which is why director olivia facinates me as a concept because it begs the question of how well could she manage to maintain her morals#she obviously Wants to maintain good morals but when in a position of power where her word always goes through would that falter at all?#maybe without even realizing its happening#youve made hard decisions before. what makes this different from the rest? maybe at some point it wont even feel difficult anymore#and maybe this in turn makes it harder for her to see the blood jackie tries to hide#because if she let herself notice that itd be impossible to ignore the blood on her own hands#meanwhile jackie is just being like maybe shell text me back if I keep breaking her trust itll work this time trust me#and then she proceeds to explode her brain or smth and gets printing podded and explodes again because shes somehow manage it#I just would want all three aus to be olivia having serious identity crisies while jackie reenacts ashfur amvs in the background
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#therapy sypposed to help me deal w * n i think it made it worse to a degree#im not evne confused or anything#like i do feel vetter but . realising how deep rgis does go is alwahs Depressing#i am Not Escaping this anytimw soon andnim Stuck#until something gives way and i can move (#figurativrly or literally#like i am not getting over him while i live in the same town as him. thats not happening. i cant . go uptown n run the rusk of seeing him#while also trying to move on and date other ppl#vx while i am Open to that and want to do tbat#i cannot . if he exists. bc he just . no one is Going to give me the same feeling he fid#n thats freeing n saddening btw . its a horrendous mix to feel đ#saw his ass ultown n cemented the End of me n this guy ive been talking to for 2 months .wgat can i say. hes a Curse#(it was more so#i wantes Out anyway bc i didnt like this dynamic and i wasnt gonna bother w it . not when i had other dhit to b worrying abt#n i already saw him as . Nothijg but a friend or wtv its hard to budge from that#so whatever#like i Obviously dont have to date or wtv . but like . i want to . i just am Struggling to get to that point when hes just fucking Everywher
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like ironically i guess, the only sport i ever actually learnt the rules for at school was netball cause boys werent excepted to know the rules but still had to play it so the rules were explained but for every other sport everyone was just expected to know the rules already or something
#like i knew the rules for softball but i also did that one in primary school although that was the tball version#but anyway i was so shit at sport its ridiculous and i dont even know how much of it was lack of ability and how much was attitude#but it was always so embarrassing and awful so there was no way id be getting good at it after that i guess#athough thats obviously cause i was shit at it to start out with#like i had to play the other sports but i mostly just ended up standing around and hoping the ball didnt go near me#but like sports so popular and stuff it was like everyone else liked it or at least everyone id talk to which was another reason that being#shit was rubbish i ended up with those people i never talked to or had anything in common with#allthough by year ten i just gave up and sat and read on the side and no one even cared#i dont know why im making posts about random shit about my life ffrom school#i guess its cause this is basically just a journal#im so self obsessed itl interest me later#i mean i actually dont want to forget my memories even of inimportant stufff like this#highschool was like such an important part of my life when it happened like i honestly didnt do much else#seven years of my life and like all of schhol primary school was just as important when i was there#but even for the last two years of school it had already sort of ended#no one talked to me and it was all just academic subjects and all the worthwhile parts were gone#like literally i spend year 13 escepically alreaady missing it and now thats its finished i just dont think about it much anymore#but like yeah im a loser but i actualy didnt really have anything else even if i hated it there were at least some wrthwhile bits#i can never say if now is better or worse#but i dont know i think its reasonable to hold onto my memories they were me for so long#like even the unimportant memories#most of my life was those to be honest just random stuff happening i didnt really care about#without the stuff happening bit though
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what to do when im obsessing and obsessing over conversations and interactions again but like the mistakes im finding are very real mistakes in a very real pattern that ive been trying to fix for years and keep getting worse about instead so like clearly the obsessing is warranted but also its eating my brain from the inside out
#definitely getting worse now that i have so few conversations with other ppl#but i just like...am so so bad at social rules and conversations and i cant seem to fix it or get better#and i used to be more unaware of how bad i was but now im so so aware and so i need to fix it#but no matter how much i think and think and think about it and plan how to do better i just end up fucking it up anyway#extremely frustrating and tiring and i really wish this wasnt so difficult bc i feel like for most ppl it just comes naturally#but for me like if i dont constantly obsess about it and think so hard i miss the mistakes and cant even start trying to fix the problem#anyway. sorry im just complaining again bc i had a conversation today and i fucked it up bad#and i wish i could just ask the person âhey did u feel like i was overbearing and selfcentered in our convo todayâ#but obviously thats like...not a thing ppl ask ppl so i really cant know if i really fucked up as bad as i think or not#so i can never really be sure and anxiety advice always says to assume ur brain is playing tricks on u#but then every so often someone says to my face that im selfish and a bad listener and shitty to talk to#and it becomes very clear that my brain is very correct when it says im fucking things up
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ౚৠWHAT A COINCIDENCE ! â§âË.
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ౚৠpart of my short nâ sweet series (not posted yet) ౚà§
smau â angst & sweet revenge
pairing â charles leclerc x reader / lando norris x reader ( fc: sabrina carpenter )
summary â charles has a habit of running back to you whenever things donât work out between him and alex, but how long will you be willing to keep up with his shit?
warnings / disclaimer â none, just some swearing!
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23rd August 2023 - TWITTER
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31st August 2023 - TEXTS and TWITTER
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4th Feburary 2024 - TEXTS
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5th Feburary 2024 - TWITTER and TEXTS
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6th February 2024 - @.yourusername â just posted on INSTA!
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liked by landonorris, sadiesink_ and 2,965,201 others
yourusername the only thing that surprised me yesterday was, in fact, the cake âš wouldnât have wanted to spend it any other way â thank you for all your birthday wishes <3
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landonorris â pretty girl
-> â„ïž by @.yourusername â
carlossainz55 â @.landonorris omgđ„č youâre growing up lando
user3 @.carlossainz55 NOT HIM SIDING WITH LANDO THIS IS SO MESSY
user1 i cannot handle everything thatâs happened yesterday and today
user2 @.user1 whatâs going on?
user3 @.user2 charles and his ex got together again right on y/nâs birthday and sheâs very obviously throwing shade in her caption (saying sheâs not surprised because alex and charles are always on&off) + lando just called her pretty girl???
user2 @.user3 omg queen, lando should make a move
milliebobbybrown â happy birthday bb
-> â„ïž by @.yourusername â
user4 @.milliebobbybrown eleven what are you doing here
user7 ICONIC ICON
user5 oscar and lily were there, carlos, lando, george and max were there, where the hell was charles??? he didnât even like the post
user6 @.user5 heâs with alex again :(
user5 @.user6 WHAT
user6 @.user5 yes even worse, he left the morning of her bday to fly out to alex
user7 @.user6 nobody confirmed it stop talking shit
user8 @.user7 charles was seen at an airport just that morning + it wouldnât be out of character for him, heâs always been like this + he wasnât at her bday party but they were still seen together one day before + half of the grid was there but he wasnât
user8 the caption is so ironic đđ
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23rd August 2024 - @.landonorris â just posted a story on INSTA! (playing: coincidence by y/n l/n)
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@.yourusername replied : i love you more lanđ„č
@.danielricciardo replied : i thought your obsession would stop now that youâre together but these past months have all proven me very wrongđ
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TWITTER
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@.yourusername â just posted on INSTA!
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liked by charles_leclerc, lilymhe and 5,669,069 others
yourusername what a coincidence! Iâve got a few surprises for you! first of all, my new single âcoincidenceâ is out now! second, music video for said song is coming tomorrow ANNNNNNDDDD surprise surprise surprise!!! MY NEW ALBUM âShort nâ Sweetâ COMING OUT NOVEMBER 13TH <333
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user1 ALBUM OF THE YEAR ALBUM OF THE YEAR ALBUM OF THE YEAR
user2 i want her so bad
user3 @.user2 same
user4 IS THAT LANDOâS HEAD ON THE FOURTH SLIDE
user5 @.user4 IT IS
user6 @.user4 HEâLL BE IN HER MV I THINK
user7 @.user6 OH MY GOD
user8 i want both her and lando
user9 lmao charles in the likesđđ
user10 probably wants her back
landonorris â đ€đ€
-> â„ïž by @.yourusername â
user11 @.landonorris @.charles_leclerc omg look charles!đ§ itâs not that hard to interact with and post your girlfriend !!!
user12 @.landonorris PLEASE GET MARRIED HAVE KIDS PLEASE
user13 im gonna stream this til my neighbours know the lyrics by heart
oscarpiastri â lando wonât shut up about you
carlossainz55 â @.oscarpiastri he never will
user14 i love how theyâre all friends with y/nđ„čđ„č
user15 oscar and carlos interaction in y/nâs comment section might be my favourite thing ever
user16 please more charles hate songs đ
mclaren â streaming rn as we speak
user17 THE ALBUMâS COMING OUT ON LANDOâS BIRTHDAYđ„čđ„čđ„č
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general taglist :: @norrisdriver
first smau ever !! probs not the best but i hope you like it anyway :)
#lando norris x reader#charles leclerc x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1#lando norris#carlos sainz x reader#charles leclerc#lando norris x reader angst#lando norris x y/n#lando norris fluff#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x y/n#charles leclerc angst#lando norris x you#lando norris angst#lando norris imagine#f1#ln4 fic#f1 imagine#fluff#ln4 fluff#ln4#cl16#cl16 x reader#ln4 imagine#lando x y/n#lando x reader#lando smut#lando x you#ln4 x reader
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It comes as somewhat a surprise when the others realize that something has obviously happened between their resident Lieutenant and Private, as sheâs quick to fall silent whenever he appears, and even more so make herself scare when she can when heâs around. Itâs only the third time that Soap sees it that he says something, because if he doesnât no one else will, and whereâs the fun in that?
He watches her duck her head and leave the break room, Gaz, Soap, Price, and Ghost sitting alone at the breakfast table conversing over soggy cereal and cooling tea; Soap pushes a piece of bacon on his plate and asks, âTrouble in paradise, Lt?â the corner of his mouth arches with a slight grin when he hears the warning grunt come from Ghost.
âNo.â
âSeems like it,â he retorts, taking a sip of his coffee. âWhatâd ya do? Tell her ta fuck off?â
âDrop it, MacTavish,â Ghost warns darkly. âNothingâs wrong.â
This time, Gaz jumps in. âCâmon, Lt., itâs obvious that somethingâs wrong. I mean, she wonât even look at you, let alone say anything unless you speak first.â
âAnâ sheâs callinâ âim âsir.ââ Soap adds, pointing at him. âChrist, Lt., ya musta done a number on âer. Poor Puffin. So sweet and kind. Broke âer heart ya did.â
Price can tell that Ghost is close to snapping at the both of them but gets to it before he does. âSoap, Gaz, go catalogue our inventory for the mission next week.â
âAw, but we already dââ Soap falls silent when Price shoots him a look and quietly grumbles to himself as he grabs his plate and cup, Gaz following in suit.
Itâs only until the two soldiers are alone that Price asks, âWhat did happen, Simon?â
Ghost lets out a long sigh and rolls his head back, staring at the ceiling. âPretty much told âer to fuck off.â
Price watches quietly as Ghost begins rattling to himselfâheâs never really had to ask the man to explain himself. All heâs gotta do is prompt him to do so and Ghost does the rest.
âI just got mad. Sheâs always âround and practically up my arse, and I got caught up and instead of âandlinâ it properly, I shoved my fucking foot in my mouth and scalped her.â He rubs a hand over his face. âI meant to be gentler but once I started, I couldnât stop. It just kept cominâ out. And now she fuckinâ hates me.â
He pulls his hand down and looks up at Price with a scowlâthe man is smiling at him, but itâs that stupid smile that means more than Ghost wants to admit it does.
âQuit that.â
âYou care about her,â Price murmurs, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, though his admonish is still harsh. âAnd instead of telling her how you felt like a grown adult, you took the ten-year-old way out and decided to be a cunt to her.â
âI didnât mean to be such a cunt.â
âBut the fact of the matter is that you did, and youâve screwed up team fluidity and cohesion.â He looks at him. âYou know a team dividedââ
âCanât stand,â Ghost finishes with an even worse scowl. âYeah, yeah, I know.â He looks away. âI just donât know how to even start tryinâ to fix it.â
âWell, apologizing might be a good start,â Price rumbles with a grin. âSheâs a good kid, Simon. Her heartâs in the right place, even if itâs a bit much at times. Shows she cares. More than most do in our line of work. Sheâs a rare one.â
âI know,â he admits in a much, much softer tone. âI just donât want her to lose that doinâ this.â His eyes meet Priceâs, and they hold such a misery. âLook at us, Price,â he mutters, gesturing between them. âMiddle age, unmarried, no kids, too fucked up for anything like that. She doesnâtâŠâ he clenches his jaw. âShe deserves a better path, a safer path, than this life. She deserves to go out and have a life where she comes home to a family.â
âThatâs not your choice to make, son,â he replies gently, but thereâs a firmness to it. âIf this is what she wants to do, then she will. We canât make her get out of service.â
Ghost growls low in his throat. âShe has so much more potential than being cannon fodder. She could do somethinâ with her life. Somethinâ good. Somethinâ that wonât have her dying face down in the sand with a bullet wound in the back.â
Price simply watches him.
âBut sheâs so fuckinâ stupid. She wants to be here. She wants to spend whatever time she has dodginâ bullets and wakinâ up every night in sweat âcause she canât escape the dreams. No one wants to do this. We donât want to do this. We do this because we have to. But her? Sheâs happy here.â He lowers his voice, itâs as if heâs in disbelief. âSheâs happy here.â He looks at Price. âWhy? Why is she so happy here?â
It's another long moment before Price speaks.
âYou hear, son, but you donât listen.â He moves the cup on the saucer. âShe bounced around homes growing up, scraped by on the skin of her teeth. She has no one. But here, she has something. She has people who care for her, if nothing else, they wonât let her die alone.â
âOh what? So, itâs found family bullshit?â Ghost spits. âIf she dies, at least the team would mourn her?â
âIsnât that what youâve done too?â he replies, and Ghost falls silent. âPeople like Gaz, Soap, and myself are different than you and she are, Simon. We have homes. Weâve had families that have loved us, that do love us. But you two? Simon, youâve made a home where youâve had to. Made a family out of people youâve bled for, would gladly bleed for. Youâve made something thatâs yours. You made a family for yourself. And so did she. Sheâs made us her family. The one she never had the privilege to call her own.â
Price lets out a quiet hum, and pats his thighs, standing up and pushing his chair in.
âThink on what Iâve said, son. And if nothing else, apologize and leave it at that. Put the ball in her court and let her make the next move.â
As he walks off, he hears, âAnd if she doesnât want it?â
He tosses a knowing look over his shoulder. âIâm sure sheâll take it.â His eyes twinkle as he adds, âTakes an awful strong woman to care about a man like you.â
#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader imagines#simon ghost riley x reader imagine#simon ghost riley imagines#simon ghost riley imagine#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x reader imagines#simon riley x reader imagine#simon riley imagines#simon riley imagine#simon riley#ghost x reader#ghost x reader imagines#ghost x reader imagine#ghost imagines#ghost imagine#ghost#cod#cod imagines#cod imagine#captain price#price#john soap mactavish#soap#john mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#gaz#kyle garrick
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come on home
in which the only person who can comfort you after your breakup with spencer reid, is spencer reid
inspired by the song "summer's end" by the artist currently known as phoebe bridgers
wc 2857
warnings: gn!reader (correct me if im wrong), minor mommy issues, angst, happy ending
a/n: thank you to the person who requested this:) u r an angel and I listened to this song the whole time i wrote (if you haven't heard, listen!!) i sincerely hope you enjoy, i like this one a lot<3
She hung up on you.Â
Forty-seven minutes of being insulted and berated after youâd called her looking for comfort, and you put up with every single cruel wordâjust for your mother to hang up on you. And itâs exactly the kind of thing sheâd do, so you shouldnât be surprised. An ache, youâd expectâbut it shouldnât sting like this. You thought you knew better.Â
Now youâre in a ball on your couch, clutching your phone to your chest and crying. Thereâs no point hiding it. Your roommate is out with her girlfriend for the eveningâwhich is too bad because even though you feel like being alone, youâre sure thatâs the wrong call. Your other friends are out having fun tonight, too. Theyâd even invited you, but you turned them down. Look where that had gotten you. Obviously, your mother is not the person youâre about to run to for comfort, either.Â
You try to pretend, while youâre thinking of all these people who have ever cared for you, that Spencer Reid isnât on your mind at all. You try to pretend like you donât care that the person who loved you until you believed you actually deserved it is a contact going stale deep in the bowels of your text cache. With bleary eyes you scroll down, looking for your conversation where it gathers dustâthe end of your relationship was a mutual decision, and youâre friendly, but you havenât texted in a few weeks. Probably because every time the conversation starts to feel a little too easy, or the phone call lasts a little too long, that aching void in your chest gets worse and worse. Like pain in a phantom limb, you become acutely aware of what you do not have and how much it hurts. Â
So blame it on the tears, or the mind-muddling melodrama of your relationship with your mother, blame it on anything but the truthâwhen your thumb drops on that call button like the plunger on a syringe, you donât regret it. Â
What youâre not expecting is for him to answer after the first ring.Â
âHi,â you say with a snuffle before Spencer can get a word in. Thereâs a brief interlude, in which you pick at your nails, comfortable to just sit in silence if thatâs what he wants. As long as heâs there.Â
âHi.â Hearing his voice instantly melts a bit of the weight you hadnât realized you were carrying. Another pause, for which you remain silent, because you can feel him formulating a questionâand youâd like to hear him speak again. â...am I allowed to ask if youâre okay?âÂ
Your lips purse and twist to the side, pained and comforted by how easily he can tell that youâre distraught. One word across a tinny connection, and he knows.Â
âNo. Yes. I mean... I guess thatâs why I called you. But you donât have to ask me about it.â You sniff again and take a deep breath. âHow was your day? What state are you in?âÂ
âIâm in the district,â he answers after a moment, easing into a casualness that he likely doesnât feel for your sake. Wind crunches through the speaker. He probably just got out of work. âMy day was... it was good. I got to talk about my job to a bunch of elementary schoolers, which is always a confidence boost.âÂ
You chuckle, still laying on your side on the couch and watching storm clouds gathering outside.Â
âNice, nice. What else?âÂ
âLetâs see... I forgot lunch, so I had three oranges, and they were actually pretty good. I reread Game of ThronesâI donât know why I did that. Iâm never going to like that book.âÂ
âMasochist,â you smile. He laughs, and you hear the sound of a car door opening.Â
âOh! I talked to my mom. Believe it or not, she says hi.âÂ
A completely inadvertent snort constitutes your response. Itâs not what you meant to do, and out of context itâs sort of mean, but you actually think itâs incredibly endearing that he still talks to his mother about you. He scrambles to explain himself.Â
âI swear, we barely talked about you this time. Mostly we talked about her new boyfriend Leonard.âÂ
âNo, no, thatâs not... Iâm sorry, Iâm not laughing at you or your mom. Thatâs really sweet, actually. Tell her I say hi too.âÂ
When he next speaks, you can hear the smile in his voice.Â
âI will.â Another long pause. You imagine him sitting in the parking lot at Quantico, keys vertical in the ignition of his old car and feeling the silence just as much as you are. He surprises you by not ending the conversationâinstead he asks a question. It is concern, poorly disguised with nervous humor. Or maybe you just know him too well. âDo I get to find out whatâs on your mind, or are you leaving me in suspense here?â Â
You bite the inside of your cheek.Â
âUm... well, actually, I just got off the phone with my mom, too. It didnât go so well,â you laugh halfheartedly, âI know it was dumb to try and have an actual conversation with her, but... you know me. Always following blind optimism to the depths of hell.âÂ
âWhyâd you call your mom?â he asks, so gently it brings a fresh round of tears to your eyes. Still, you attempt to put a cheerful affect on your strained voice.Â
âMm, you know. Just needed someone to talk to.âÂ
Spencerâs knowing sigh does little to make you feel better.Â
âYou know you can always talk to me, right? I know itâs... itâs different now, but... I care about you a lot. And, you know, I receive very few phone calls, so the line is pretty much always open.âÂ
Your laugh quickly devolves into a cry.Â
âI appreciate that, but I canât talk to you about everything.âÂ
âWhy not?â he pleads immediately, voice thin and desperate like itâs his most burning question. A million lies dance over the tip of your tongue. A million things that feel safer to say than the truth. But in the end, it comes out anywayâchoked, and so quiet, but aloud nonetheless.Â
âBecause Iâm trying really hard to stop missing you so much.âÂ
Another long beat of silence. The back of your throat feels dry and hollowâa cage for your hummingbird heart.Â
âIf it hurts too much to talk to me, you donât need to do that to yourself. But I also donât want you to hurt yourself thinking youâre alone. You are... so important to me. I will always try to take care of you the best I canâwhether that means staying away or being at your front door. If you ever need me, or even... vaguely want me, I will be there.âÂ
Each word caves your resolve. Each syllable is a slap in the face to progress youâd been pretending to make. You can be strongâyou've proven that over the past ten weeks. You can be stone-faced and slash at your heart until the scar tissue is thick and jagged, and eventually it wonât hurt anymore. But maybe, by letting someone tend to the wounds, theyâll heal a little nicer. A little kinder. Even if you canât undo the damage, maybe one day youâll be soft again.Â
âWhat if I vaguely want you right now?â you sniffle.Â
Finally, you hear the silver jingle of keys turning. The sputter and rumble of an old engine coming to life.Â
âThen Iâm on my way.âÂ
Twenty four minutes later, thereâs a soft knock at your door. Â
After the call had ended, youâd wondered if you made it all up. Surely your ex-boyfriend wasnât actually about to show up at your apartment. Someone youâve grieved for canât just come backâthere are countless horror novels and movies based upon that very tenet. Does it matter if they ever actually died? How long is ten weeks, really? It feels like a lifetime.Â
You shuffle across the room, wiping under your eyes with your already damp sleeves, and undoing all the locks Spencer had conditioned you to start using. When the door cracks open, and you see Spencer standing there, windswept and concerned, for the first time in months, it hits you like a tidal wave. You are, beyond a shadow of a doubt, still just as in love with him as you ever were. The relief that floods your veins as he looks down at you with so much care in his eyes is like sinking into warm water. Itâs a dead giveaway, and maybe it makes this whole thing a terrible idea, but you canât seem to care very much. You open the door wider, and he enters, and he stands in your kitchen with his hands in his coat pocket as you shut the door and heâs perfect. It dawns on you that for the first time since the breakup, you feel safe. Like you donât have to be a stone pillar anymore. This, of course, translates into even more tears, which you try to hide as you face away, re-locking the door. Â
âSweetheart...â he sighs, because you canât hide anything from him. Hearing the resonance of his voice so close to you once more is overwhelming. In an instant youâre rushing into his arms, and he accepts you without hesitation. You bury your teary face in the vetiver safety of his button-up and slip your arms under his coat, as if you could absorb his warmth and forever hide from the world that way. He pulls you even closer. Itâs terrible and cruel how much he is exactly what you needed. âWhatâs wrong? What did she say?âÂ
You shake your head and gasp a small sob.Â
Truthfully, youâre not really crying about the petty insults from your mother anymore. Youâre back to square one, the reason youâd called your mother to begin withâyou miss the man whose arms are currently wound around your shoulders.Â
His hand smooths over the back of your hair.Â
âOkay. Thatâs okay. We donât have to talk about it.âÂ
You stay like thatâcontent even as you cry because being with him feels so much safer than being alone. It feels rightâor perhaps itâs just familiar. You donât know which is worse. Â
Spencer is rubbing soothing lines up and down your back as you cling to him, soaking him up in all his ephemeral, comforting glory. He surprises you by chucklingâit vibrates through his chest, buzzing against your ear.Â
âNice Magritte print. I bet the person who bought that has fantastic taste.âÂ
âAre you gonna ask for it back?â you mumble into the fabric of his suit jacket. He is, of course, referring to the painting youâd more or less stolen from his apartment seven months ago. You really donât want him to take it home. Itâs the most overt Spencer memorabilia youâd allowed yourself to keep in plain sight.Â
âNo, baby. You can keep it.â The words are low, and kind, and they settle you some, but you canât seem to get him close enough. âWhat can I do?â he whispers after a moment, helpless as you take a shuddering breath. âCan I make you tea? Have you eaten?âÂ
âWill you just... stay for a little bit? IâllâI promise Iâll stop crying.âÂ
There is an unexpected lull where you thought youâd receive pretty immediate agreement, but before you can pull back and ask whatâs wrong, he murmurs, âyeah. I can stay for a while. But you have to kick me out before it gets too late.âÂ
You wonder if youâre imagining the double-entendre that seems to underline his words in bold red ink. Spencer is too smart to have not noticed a thing like that. You donât mention itâit all boils down to the same unspoken idea.Â
Donât let me stay, because I might not leave.Â
âI will,â you sniff, finally stepping back and wiping your own tears. It hurts to lose his touch, but at least you know heâs not going anywhere for the next few hours. This, as opposed to everything else lately, can be a beginning instead of an end. Â
At least, until he goes home.Â
Three and a half hours later, after tea, an impromptu dinner comprised mostly of cheese and crackers, and several vinyl changes on your record player (which served only as background noise for your long, ambling conversations), things are seeming to wind down to a natural stopping point. Which you hate. The whole time youâd had a dull ache in your chest because talking to him was easier than breathing and you knew it wouldnât last. There had been one or two false bottoms alreadyâthe first when youâd yawned around nine, and the second when youâd gotten up to do your skincare and brush your teeth half an hour later. Even then heâd just leaned against the doorframe, watching your reflection above the sink as you talked for fifteen more minutes. Now you stand across from each other in the kitchen, plates restacked and everything in order. Of course heâd insisted on helping you clean up.Â
âI should go,â he says, with a soft sort of finality in his voice. Â
âIs your carriage turning into a pumpkin?â you tease gently, to hide how much you donât want him to leave. He smilesâa small, weary thingâbut genuinely and endlessly charmed by you.Â
âThat among other things.âÂ
âWould youâwould you walk me to my room first?âÂ
The hesitance is clear in his eyes and the way his lips part as if to say, âI donât think thatâs a good ideaâ, but you're sure heâs really going to leave in a moment and youâre also sure he wonât deny you this one small thing before he does.Â
âOkay.âÂ
Itâs a short, silent walk through the living room and down the hall to your bedroom door, but you can feel him trailing behind you the whole way. You stop in front of your open door, turning face to face with him. Â
âThanks,â you murmur. Â
His lips pull into a melancholy smile.Â
âAnytime.âÂ
Thereâs nothing left to do but wrap your arms around each other once more, tuck yourself into the you-sized space between his head and shoulder and hold on for as long as heâll let you. The hug lingers for longer than is wise. Spencer adjusts his arms looped around your waist, pulling you closer, and you nuzzle against his neck, grateful that at least he seems as reluctant to let this end as you are. Â
But eventually, it relaxes. Your hold on each other loosens. His face is just inches from yours, and you get to study every plane and valley and line like youâd thought you never would again. It seems heâs doing the sameâlosing himself in the luxury of seeing you up close.Â
âWill you kiss me goodnight?â you whisper, unable to muster any self-consciousness though you know itâs a foolâs errand. Spencer strokes your waist.Â
âI canât do that, honey.âÂ
âWhy not?âÂ
His voice is just as quiet as yours. It falters slightly as he speaks, so gently, so patiently.Â
âBecause weâre not together anymore.âÂ
âWhy not?âÂ
Your feeble, desperate supplication sounds pitiable even to you. Youâre not proud, but you canât find it in yourself to be ashamed, either. All you want is an answer. But itâs like a child asking why the sky is blue, or the earth is round. There is a definitive explanation, but mostly, the adult will shrug, and say, thatâs just how it is.Â
Spencerâs eyes squeeze shut. His head tilts down.Â
âWe canât do this again, sweetheart. You know why weâre not together.âÂ
In theoryâyes. Youâd had so many conversations when youâd broken up. It had been a long, painful process, spanning multiple all-nighters at his kitchen table, nursing coffee and trying to convince each other and yourselves that it was the right choice. But it just feels like a horrible, horrible mistake. You feel desperate to explain this to him before he slips away againâthe words come out flustered, inelegant as you cling to him.
âBut I donât think Iâm getting better without you. I tried, I tried so hard to be good on my own, but everything is worse and harder andâand we werenât sure about it then, and I donât think it was the right choice, because I still really need you. Like, all the time. Iâmâitâs not getting better without you. Nothing got better.âÂ
He swallows, eyes darting between yours for an infinite second. Youâre breathless and your heart is pounding after your confessionâyou can feel your eyes stinging with the few tears that managed to escape as you spoke.Â
âEverything is worse,â he agrees shakily. âEverything. IâmâIâm getting disciplinary infractions from Hotch like Iâm a child because I canât focus on anything. Game of Thrones is the most complex literature I can comprehend right now. I had to use a calculator the other day.âÂ
You want to laugh, but nothing is funny until heâs yours again.Â
âThen come back. Please come back, Spencer.âÂ
Finally, he leans closer, until your heads are pressed together, and his nose bumps yours, feather light. You're dizzy. You exhale. He inhales.Â
âI donât think I knew how to leave in the first place.âÂ
When he kisses you, it feels like home.Â
#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fic#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds
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hiiii!! so sorryyy idk if you take requests BUTT could you do headcannons of being in an argument with the aot characters?
đŁïž aot characters & arguments
characters involved: eren, armin, mikasa, connie, jean, sasha, reiner, annie, bertolt, erwin, levi & hange
notes: i do take requests indeed!! :3 i luv angst, i hope this is gdâĄ
⧠eren jaeger - ïżŒ
okay, when you guys argue itâs honestly more cute than anything because youâre both so protective of one another. neither of you wanted each other to join the scouts because it was so dangerous but, you both joined anyways obviously. oh my god, you guys non-stop bicker when thereâs a mission! and donât even get me started if you get put into different teamsđ you start TWEAKINGG. after he finds out heâs the attack titan, oh it gets 10x worse. his absolute biggest fear is losing control and hurting you - heâs already so conflicted, confused & felt like an outcast. he definitely lashes out more and becomes snappier than usual but, it does come from a place of sincerity.
when this happens, you just leave it be. as soon as itâs not just bickering anymore, when a voice is raised or an insult is made, you just leave it. you understand heâs going through a lot and just needs a minute but, TRUST ME! when you walk off, you make sure it is known that your feelings are hurt.
âi said no! you are not being on my team! im going with the levi squad, thats final.â
⧠armin arlert -
you both love each other very much but, goddamn youâre both so up your own arses! you are the âsmart coupleâ you are both strategic and witty and have your own way you go about things. so, when it comes to deciding whose plan is better, you always think yours is better and admin thinks his is better. this has (and probably always will be) the main root of your arguments, tbh. nobody likes to get involved either because if someone picks a side then even more havoc will break lose. the only people whoâve ever come between you two is: mikasa, levi & erwin.
itâs just like a debate, you know the ones on jubilee where itâs just people speaking over each other with different facts and sources? literally you two. you both would keep going until the end of time if you didnât need to sleep, eat and drink water. itâs never that serious at the end of the day, you both love each other and i GUESS you can appreciate each others plans albeit you both think yours is better.
âif you actually listen to me when i say, my layout is better! look at how easy it is to manoeuvre from the castle to the forest!â
⧠mikasa ackerman -
wash the damn scarf. that is all you ask of her. she has literally never washed it and you love but jesus christ, stink LINGERS. not only do you think itâs weird she doesnât wash it but, itâs also from eren⊠now, you know mikasaâs lore, of course. however, itâs really hard to get over your girlfriend having this deep love for this smelly scarf that her ex-crush gave to her after he literally saved her from being kidnapped. at first, you try to ignore it but it gets to a point where you sit down and talk to her but, she is not having it. she clearly cares very, very deeply for this scarf and will defend it. itâs really awkward conversation that slowly turns into raised voices and some opinionated things being raised.
âwhy are you getting jealous over a scarf? thatâs so stupid! i just have fond memories with it!â
⧠connie springer -
again, not so much major arguments but just bickers. it usually starts as a joke but slowly but surely divulges into an argument about something stupid. one time, someone ate the last of jeanâs meal that his mum made for him and he saved until today, obviously he was super upset and jokingly you blamed connie. at first, all was well, laughs were being heard and he even poked fun at you but, somewhere along the way it became more serious for you two, you genuinely suspected connie of eating jeanâs meal and connie was getting visibly more upset.
âthat was so not me! why are you telling them that?! i didnât eat it, y/n!â
jean regretted asking who ate his food.
⧠jean kirstein -
jean is unfortunately a jealous guy. not for any malicious reasons, heâs just a bit insecure gang! heâs more scared that youâll leave him for someone âbetterâ more than anything but, these feelings of insecurity manifest as jealously. heâd get jealous over you spending time with people like eren, mikasa or armin. in so many aspects, theyâre better than him (in his eyes) and this will just make him reallyyy pissy. being in an argument with jean is painstakingly ambiguous like he never straight up says it, itâs always sly remarks or dry responses from him for a while. eventually, you know something is up and question him but he will avoid answering like the plague and itâs just so, so frustrating! eventually, when you break your calm demeanour, he will also break his ânonchalant-nessâ and just shout about how he feels.
he crossed his arms, âi just donât understand why you need to be around him so much, you have me?â
⧠sasha braus -
absolutely nothing. iâm sorry but, she is too sweet and loving. IM SORRY, iâm sorry⊠i tried so hard to think of something but this queen is too perfect. at most, she would snap at you in high stress situations but she would never turn it into an argument. for example, if you told her to slow down her eating because youâre going on a mission but, she hasnât eaten much that day she may snap and tell you to âlet her do what she wantsâ but, sheâs sooo quick to recover and apologise. literally not even giving you a second to even think about arguing with her!!
âah, iâm sorry. youâre right, i donât wanna be sick while flying through the air, huh?â she pouts.
⧠reiner braun -
youâre both from marley, you know damn well what youâre doing here but it seems reiner is straying off path. youâre there to try and remind him why youâre there and this leads to so many arguments. his split personality also plays a role in the arguments because itâs so.. scary and confusing for you because one moment heâs defending eldians than the next, heâs shouting at you about how he âknows the planâ.
when talking about stuff like this, since itâs extra sensitive for reiner he definitely flips out. iâm talking shouting, angry grunting, clenching his fists into balls and holding them against his forehead so he doesnât fully crash tf out. heâs just as confused and scared as you are about his split personality but, he doesnât want to seem weak or to seem like heâs losing sight of what is ârightâ - it gets him really worked up. obviously, you stand your ground against him, he doesnât scare you when youâre arguing. youâve known him for so long.. you feel like he just needs to be guided.
âwhen did i ever say i liked them? yes, theyâre okay people to be around for now butâ no, i never said that! i know what they are, you donât remind to tell me, y/n!â
⧠annie leonhart -
just the fact sheâs cold and distant, it makes it really hard to actually have a relationship with her. at first, she was closed off COMPLETELY but cracks began to show and eventually, you thought you were at a good point with each other but, you kind of realised you didnât know that much about annie. you try to ask questions to get her to open up but, she is one tough egg to crack so eventually, you just ask! hoping to help her more than anything but, this leads to an argumentâŠ
after this first argument, it became pretty regular like once every few weeks this would happen. you get super frustrated because she acts like she doesnât even care! so, youâre shouting and getting really passionate while she sits there, looking pissed off and bored, rolling her eyes and scoffing. she doesnât see the need to open up to you, sheâs done what she thinks is âenoughâ in her books.
âwhat do you want me to say? iâm not an open book, thatâs just how i am. weâre all gonna end up dead, anyways.â
⧠bertolt hoover -
sigh⊠oh bert. every time you feel yourself developing further into your relationship with bert, his friends seem to pull him back. youâre still not quite sure why and they always seem to be giving side eyes or glances when he talks about his life - its starting to piss you off, rightfully so. you feel like heâs got two other side hoes watching yours and his every move! you being this up in subtle ways as to not seem like a crazy, jealous partner but eventually you burst and tell him how you really feel.
arguing with sweet bert isnât fun because you can tell he tries so hard to please everyone in the situation, whether itâs you, him or now in this case, his friends too. he will raise his voice but, not in a bad way just in a general sense, things are getting heated, his voice will raise and he will fling his arms and hands. heâs a very expressive man when arguing because he is so passionate about it.
ây/n, theyâre my friends! theyâre just trying to protect me, why are you jealous?â
⧠erwin smith -
thereâs so such things as arguments in your relationship, erwin likes to call them âmutual disagreementsâ as your both in the scouts, he knows your time is limited. itâs a morbid and pessimistic way to think but, you have to be realistic when you live such a deadly lifestyle. he doesnât want to take your time together for granted - plus, heâs a MAN like, he is calm and collected and will always hear you out.
you both start off calm, having a mature conversation about whatever it is that is bothering you but, when you start getting rowdier thatâs when erwin quells the flames quickly. he takes a deep breath, hears you out and calmly walks you through it all. heâs so compassionate about it, i cant omg. heâll gently place a hand over your own hand or on your shoulder if youâre standing, letting you know heâs present, heâll sweetly talk you down, eventually calming you down and usually youâll both say apologises or just general sweet statements and move on!
âiâm sorry, y/n. no, iâm glad you talked to me about this.â
⧠levi ackerman -
oh lord, being in an argument with levi ackerman is nawwtt fun. iâm sorry but, iâd kms if i argued with levi đ. this man has such an awful resting bitch face as it is but, imagine his face when heâs arguing with you? IF LOOKS COULD KILL. he cant hide his emotions, so when youâre arguing even if heâs trying to be somewhat nice, his face says it all. usually heâll roll his eyes and scoff if itâs something minor, heâll hear you out, maybe give a half arsed apology or some sort of nice gesture to make sure youâre not upset however, if itâs a big issue oh brotherâŠ
silent treatment, i fear. he is so bad at communicating his feels correctly and often feels confused because this mf ainât been in love before?! it gets too a point where heâs so mad, he just cant even begin to think of anything to say to you. youâll be there raising your voice, becoming so passionate and when you ask what he thinks, heâll say âi have nothing to say.â then boom, silent treatment. however, heâs bad with his words⊠but good with his actions. he still wants you to know he cares, you two could be in the most rancid moods but, youâll go to your room and find your clothes ironed and foldedđ„Č.
⧠hange zoë -
oh my sweet hange, my probably neurological challenged sweet hange⊠an argument with them would definitely stem from them spending more time with titans than you. when sawney and bean were around, you werenât getting ANY time of day with them, trust. at first, you didnât want to say anything because of course, you understand! the lifetime you guys are living in, things like hangeâs research is soo important but, you canât help but feel neglected sometimes.
when you finally bring it up, an argument ensues. neither of you really shout or anything, itâs just that kind of weird sort of raised, high pitched voice people get when youâre really frustrated. you both stay relatively calm for the situation youâre in but, you can totally tell youâre both so frustrated because hange just doesnât see the problem. when you guys argue like this, it usually just goes in circles and after a while you both decide to mutually give up and leave it for another day.
âitâs all for science and the greater good of humanity though, i donât understand?â
#anime and manga#attack on titan#aot x reader#aot fluff#aot headcanons#shingeki no kyojin#snk x y/n#snk x reader#attack on titan headcanons#snk anime#eren headcanons#armin headcanons#mikasa headcanons#jean kirschtein headcanons#connie x reader#sasha braus#reiner headcanons#snk bertholdt#annie leonhardt x reader#levi x reader#levi headcanons#erwin smith#hange x reader#eren x reader#mikasa x reader#armin x reader#jean x reader#reiner x reader#erwin x reader
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It's a Match! || 141 x reader
[ Chapter 3 ] || [ Chapter 5 ]
Pairing: 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1.6K~ Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you?
Chapter 4: John?
The lads sat in the common room of their floor at the base. Gaz and Soap had just finished a round of Gran Turismo on the PS4 they had set up, while Ghost sat at a table in the corner on his work laptop.
âYe think the Captainâs married?â Soap mused aloud once he set down his controller on the coffee table.
âWhat kind of question-â Gaz quipped in confusion as he turned to look at Soap.
âHe never talks about a missus Price...â Soap explained. âor second misterâŠâ He added.
âThatâs not a question you want the answer to.â Ghost said in a dismissive tone from his corner.
âWhy not L.T.?â The Scot grumbled.
âPeopleâs lives are private for a reason, Johnny.â Ghost said with a shrug and a tired look.
âYe, but the Captainâs not like you, L.T.â Soap retorted with a chuckle.
âIf anything, heâs worse, Johnny.â Gaz remarked as he looked at the two other men. âSimonâs reserved but Captain Price is pretty open.... except for that side of his.â
Soap went silent for a long moment, seeming to ponder what the other two were saying.
Then, the Scot shook his head. âIf he was married, heâd be easier to deal with, I reckon.â He grumbled. âAnd I think Iâve heard of him going out and getting laid before.â He added. âLast year, especially.â
âYouâve heard that too?â Gaz asked as he bounced a bit in his seat and straightened up, intrigued. âFuckinâ hell, I thought it was just me. Iâve been dying trying to keep my mouth shut about it!â Gaz added.
âSo dâye think he hasnât gotten laid lately, then?â Soap asked. âHeâs been bloody moody since early last year with Shepherd and GravesâŠâ He added.
âOh, he definitely has a major case of blue balls.â Ghost remarked, drawing both the other menâs attention to him and causing their jaws to drop.
âL.T.!â Soap said with a surprised chuckle. âThatâs bad of you! Youâre not being the Captainâs good olâ boyâŠâ He joked.
âOh, piss off. Just saying. Itâs obvious the bossâ pent up.â Ghost remarked.Â
âI say we get him laid.â Soap remarked with an impish expression.
âAnd how do you suggest we do that? We hire him a prostitute?â Gaz asked with raised brows.
âNo? Obviously not!â Soap said with a head shake.Â
âGood, canât imagine the Captain appreciating that very much.â Gaz added.
âNo, but weâve gotta think of something! Heâs impossible to deal with.â Soap remarked.
âIâve told âim to his face and he asnât done shit to fix it yet.â Ghost remarked from the corner.
âYouâre kiddinâ? L.T. you told him to get laid?!â Soap gasped in surprise.
âNo, Iâve told âim to get âis âead on straight.â The Mancunian quipped and shrugged, turning his attention back to the laptop in front of him.
âWhat about a dating app profile?â Gaz suggested and the Mancunian and the Scot both turned to look at Gaz with intrigued eyes.
âIâm getting my spare phone!â Soap announced as he got up and rushed out of the room.
âHe has a second phone?â Gaz asked Ghost who simply shrugged.
-
It took almost an hour and a half and a few beers in their systems (thank God they were on break for the evening), but eventually tey had set up a fake profile for Price.
Sure, the pictures were grainy at best, but they worked well-enough. Courtesy of Soap having a habit of taking covert pictures for his snapchat and sometimes catching Price in them... (and other times just taking pictures of the man directly).
It had been mostly Soap and Gaz doing the work, however when it came down to writing the bio, Ghost gave quite the helpful input⊠By the time they were done, it genuinely looked like it had been Price writing it.
The lads high-fived each other. Even Ghost joined in! He looked to be in a good mood⊠Maybe it was the beer, or maybe something he was doing on his phone. Gaz had spotted him texting someone and chuckling to himself.
As Soap began swiping mindlessly across all the pictures of people on the Swiping page, Gaz sat next to him, peeking over his shoulder.
âPeople are going to read the part on the bio that says we are not Price, right? Because I donât want âem to feel like weâre catfishing.â Gaz remarked.
âDonât worry! If they donât, weâll unmatch!â Soap announced as he kept moving his finger repeatedly and quickly to the right. He was liking everyone, in order to get a fairly good sample size for Price. They didnât know what kind of person the Captain liked after allâŠ
Just as Soapâs finger is slowing down due to the amounts of profiles he liked⊠He spots it. And then Gaz does.
âNo way!â Soap interjects. âI know this person! I matched with them on my own account!â He remarks as he clicks on your profile.
âBloody hell, me too.â Gaz remarks, causing Soapâs head to turn and his jaw to drop.
âWait, yeâve got a Tinder too?â Soap asks to which Gaz nods.
âYeah, to get laid.â He says with a shrug and a mischievous smirk. âOur chat was bloody funny.â
âMine too!â Soap quips and chuckles. âHad a right laugh with them earlier.â
âLet me see?â Ghost asks, curious, and he slides over, bending over the back of the couch to look over Soapâs other shoulder.
âSmall world. They matched with me too.â He remarks dismissively.
Both Gaz and Soap turn to look at Ghost like theyâve seen, well, a ghost.
âYEâVE GOT AN ACCOUNT TOO, L.T.?!â Soap shrieks, louder and more high-pitched than a grown man with his natural timber should.
âIâve got a life, MacTavish.â Ghost retorts.
âNo, we know that, sir.â Gaz says softly.Â
âJust didnât think yeâd be on dating apps.â Soap nods.
Ghost simply shrugs and pulls back, walking back to his corner, in an armchair which he took as his own in the last hour.
âWas that who was makinâ you laugh earlier, Simon?â Gaz adds.
Ghost simply gives him a look that can be interpreted as a tired âYesâ, before he looks away to keep working on his laptop.
âShould we Like their profile, then?â Soap asks with a chuckle.
âUh⊠yes?â Gaz adds, laughing along. âI canât wait to see their reaction to it being us behind the screen.â He adds.
Soap clicks the green heart button to Like your profile and then immediately hops on DM once it presents a Match. Before he can write some nonsense, Gaz steals the phone from his hand and starts typing on the cracked screen.
John: well hello again you: hello? you: how can it be again though? you: never saw your 'captain' before in my life. John: no but uve seen US John: sorry! allow us to introduce ourselves formally
âSir, does your profile have you listed as Simon?â Gaz asked as he raised his eyes from the screen. Once Simon nodded, he resumed typing.
John: our names are kyle john and simon
âJohnny, not John, mate.â Soap corrected Gaz right after he hit send.
John: johnny* sorry
They could only imagine the look on your pretty face as you realized who they were.
you: get out! you: no way!!!!! you: all three of you?! John: ye you: wait is this what simon meant when he called himself a traveling consultant? is he a soldier like you?
âL.T. theyâre already accusing ye of lying to them.â Soap quips, causing Ghostâs eyes to shoot up from his laptop.
âLying? Huh?!â He asks in confusion as he puts his laptop aside and rushes over to the couch. He sits on the armrest next to Gaz so he can look at the screen.
He then snatches the phone from Gazâs hand, pulls off his right glove, and types a reply with now bare fingers on the cracked screen.Â
John: I wasnât lying. John: I just omitted the truth. I donât go about bragging about my career. you: sure sure sure âJohnâ. you: sooo you: is this some kind of weird joke? are you playing a prank on me all matching me individually and then using a fake account?
Gaz snatched the phone from Ghost again.
John: kyle here and no John: we really want our boss to get laid John: heâs miserable you: well im not the one night stand type really you: its why i didnt accept to get together with any of you.
âL.T. YOU TRIED TO SLEEP WITH THEM?!â Johnny asked with another gasp.
âSo did you!â Ghost retorted.
âI never thought you were the type!â Soap said with a smug little smirk on his lips.
âOh piss off, they rejected us all.â Ghost retorted. âSo it shouldnât matter.â
As they kept bickering, Gaz remained laser-focused on texting you and, just as they got heated, he spoke up: âThey accepted.â
âWait wha-â Soap said as he whipped his head down to look at the screen, just narrowly dodging Gazâs nose and Ghostâs head.
âBloody hell they did!â Soap yelped as he pulled his head back.
âThey wanna go out with Price and âsee where it goes because he seems like a nice man that needs a break from the three of youâ?â Ghost read from the DMs on the screen.
âOw.â Soap quipped in mock-injury.
The three men raised their eyes and met each otherâs, before all their faces morphed into confusion.
âDid they⊠Did they just reject all three of us for a man that isnât even aware of this account?â Soap asked aloud, undoubtedly voicing the thoughts in all their minds.
âIt seems that way.â Simon said as he looked away.
They all went quiet, each of them quietly contemplating all their lifeâs choices that led them to the moment they got rejected for a person that isnât even ârealâ.
After long minutes, Gaz spoke up. âHow are we going to tell the Captain he has a date?â
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#ikea writes đ#it's a match! fic#cod modern warfare#cod fanfic#captain john price#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#simon ghost riley#text story#cod x reader#call of duty x reader
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