#for your own self gratification rather than their own people living their own lives

[rxttenfish]

Asking because I’m extremely curious about this, how did MonProm’s writing get different over time? I remember you saying that the lore and characters feel different, and that it's missing sincere character interactions, too. I know almost nothing about the lore and I’ve only seen a few people mention the characters, so I’d be interested in a rundown of what aspects you think got worse in the series

I wouldn’t mind a very long response since I’m not that active in the fandom, I need to catch up on what happened

sorry for taking so long to answer this! i kinda waffled on it for a long bit, mainly because i started doubting myself again, and whether or not this was me simply overreacting or being tinted by nostalgia or simply being extremely picky and choosy in what i like (the last of which is true, i seldom get into fandoms at all for this reason and stay away from most popular media, but i wasn't sure if it applied here). i've posted about it already, but i'm in the middle of a psychotic episode where i can't feel a lot of pleasure to begin with + most things i do experience ending up solidly in the "very bad" category, so as you can imagine, i really didn't want to mislead and check that i was actually in objective reality.

as it is, this is also when a lot more screenshots started to be posted in the monster prom tag, and that helped me bridge the gap back into returning to the games themselves and feel like i was making a more accurate judgement. if you're one of those people who have been posting screenshots, i sincerely thank you, and i appreciated seeing you in the tag greatly.

for those not in the know — i've been in the monster prom fandom since it first released, prior to even the first additional ending to be added (the "Punch the sun" ending, and i recall the minor fandom drama that happened at that time due to it). my impression of monster prom is very much influenced by this, as what got me into the first game was the fact that the characters genuinely seemed to care for each other and were friends with each other (not merely tolerating each other's presences nor dressing it up, they sincerely thought of each other as friends and were open about that fact), on top of the wide variety of small details and statements that, if taken at face value, could create compounding complexity in the lives of each and every character and had wider implications for their lives.

no, they were not necessarily explored nor even necessarily "real", with so many conflicting events and statements, but i liked this too, because it meant a wider flexibility in what you could imagine, helping to create a more tailored experience for everyone who thought about these characters. this was what i liked about the early fandom too. what was baseline "canon" was so vague and minimal that you could have wildly different interpretations of the same characters' histories and relationships with each other. you would have radically different perspectives on what the world itself looked like, what it was like, that there wasn't really any wrong answers so long as their personalities remained the same. this is where you got the old headcanon of polly and liam being childhood friends who knew each other as humans, or that the world of monster prom was post-apocalypse where humanity itself had gone extinct or only existed in tiny pockets, or my personal headcanon that both monster and human society existed right next to each other and had minimal crossover for petty cultural reasons. this was also prior zoe-as-ro, and there were wildly different interpretations of zoe's personality, with most going for a far more disquieting creepy-cute than the deep nerd we got.

this is why you get stuff like the timeloop theory, where everyone is repeating the same weeks leading up to prom over and over, and are perhaps vaguely aware of it but broadly unconcerned. this is also why it felt like the joke that, the characters were still in high school but were all fully legal adults with most in their 20's, best landed, because it was absurd and strange and didn't quite make sense, but the world itself was inherently absurd and semi-malleable to begin with. realistically, i felt like everyone understood it was making fun of the trope of having adults play teenagers in american sitcoms and wildly casting outside the age range, but for more in-universe explanations it wasn't any different from the way that you would have a large, dramatic ending in which everything changed, but then you'd restart and everyone would be right back at the beginning with nothing different, or even having conflicting events in the same run. it was a dream-logic that fit with the tropes and, thus, diagetically made sense.

to be clear, i don't mind canon having a set, well, canon on which it refers back to itself. i don't mind expanding that or including more things which are set in stone. but there was a perceivable shift in how the games handled this over time, becoming a lot more... bitter, it felt, towards all of these different branching ideas and concepts that, yeah, the people making them knew wouldn't necessarily be "canon" because "canon" already liked to contradict itself so much. most people weren't even sold on any one idea, and there was a much greater sense of enjoying and appreciating all the varying ideas people would come up with even if you personally didn't share them. making the characters be out of character was the real crime, because then it didn't diagetically make sense in the same way, didn't wholly fit.

(again, this is not to say fanon didn't happen and characters weren't smoothed down into a simplified personality that fit these varying fan-interpretations instead of the game itself. certainly damien love/lust was just as bad as it had ever been, and everyone loved to mangle his character into a more stereotypical "bad boy with a heart of hold" all the time. but it certainly felt less set-in-stone about it than it does now, with any deviation from the norm being considered strange and odd and even broadly shunned from the wider fandom.)

all of this is setup for establishing what the writing, lore, and characters felt like in the earlier days. the characters were the strongest part, with their relationships to each other being equally as important. the lore played it fast and loose and was far less interested in setting anything in concrete because that wasn't the important part. the lore wasn't the important part, which was what made it all the more intoxicating to think about, all the more fun to play with.

montrip is easily the biggest offender when it comes to setting everything in all-or-nothing terms and demanding absolutism from the world. broadly i blame the hitchhiker conversations for the worst of it, but i think ultimately the way they handled the entire premise of the game is where this problem stems from. it's not really an exploration in the same sense that you might explore the first game, discovering different perspectives and different people with different relationships to each other. it's an exploration in the sense of a sequel that over-explains the monster, that takes the most boring option out of all those that were possible and floating around and settles on something that was blatant, obvious, typically rejected not because of how novel it is but how trite and par for the course it is in the rest of the genre.

yeah, okay. humans know nothing about monsters and there's a "monster dimension" that exists separately from the human dimension. there's no crossover between the two of them. of course there's a big grand-scale fight between the eldritch powers that zoe used to be a part of, from which not only are slayers the main organization against them, but also the merkingdom has some horse in this race too. it's an urge to make things so universal in explaining them, in revealing connecting threads which unite everything that's ever happened in here, that makes the worldbuilding and lore immediately much more boring than it ever was before.

and it didn't have to be this way! nothing in the first game contradicts any of this too explicitly (see the above, the first game loves to contradict itself), and i would even be happy if this was basically canon but never stated or confirmed to be the big overarching everything going on underneath it all. i believe you should probably know these things about any world that you create and have them in the back of your mind. the difference is that you can know these things and keep them in mind, even focusing on things where its very relevant, and still not reveal them. this is why you have lore bibles, after all. every horror writer knows exactly how their monster works and the full underlying reason for everything that happens, but that doesn't mean the audience will see it or possess this same information too, and leaving it intentionally obscure will make far better stories.

which, this is bad enough, but it wouldn't be the breaking point for me if this was all there was.

but the worst thing of all has to be the slow decay of the very same characters that sold me on this world, this lore, this game in the first place. monster prom is nothing without the characters in it. it's a dating sim, it has nothing but characters to get you to play, and liking these characters are the entire reason anyone would pick up monster prom in the first place.

and the first game pulls this off extremely well. it's all in the tagline: be your worst self. they are, indeed, all terrible people. yes, even that character that you just thought of right now. they all have points in the game where they commit atrocities, where they kill or hurt people, where they do inexcusable things that could not be ignored in a more serious setting.

but that's the point. i think there's something very powerful in creating a character who not only do you love and love their personality and the way they interact with the world, but who also are inapologetically terrible, and to have the humor and the charisma be so good that you don't get bogged down in the "this is awful". likewise, it never feels the urge to really go out of its way to justify what's going on. this is not to say theres no discussion of if someone "deserved it", but usually there's still the sense that the joke is on them, that this is still an extreme reaction specifically for comedy and not necessarily something that can be justified. you can have damien set leonard on fire and have it feel earned, without prompting the needed reaction of what it's actually like to watch someone burn to death.

this is what sets the prank masterz ending apart from the rest of the game, and really establishes it as the first real "bad ending". because nothing that you do or happens in the prank masterz ending is any different from anything else that happens in any other run. you summon evil beings from other dimensions as a throwaway gag on how visiting one location raises your stats. you kill other people and damn them to terrible fates. you watch as body horror happens. the only difference is that, in the prank masterz ending, the laugh track doesn't play.

the rest of the game and the writing echoes this philosophy, this careful interplay of tropes that keeps everything tongue in cheek and yet sincere enough to make sure emotional beats still land when they're needed. the characters feel true to themselves and their own emotions, even when the world is extreme and excessive, when everything else runs on comedy logic.

this is also what i noticed failing first as time went on.

like i said, fanon has always existed and there's always been very specific ideas as to what characters are like in the same way fanon always flattens down characters into the same tropes over and over. scott is stupid and innocent and doesn't know what sex is. damien is violent and hot and too cool for anyone else. miranda is the idiot girl character. repeat over and over and over until you get sick of it.

but it's been an issue as time has crept on that canon has started to approach fanon and began to merge with it. now, scott is so innocent that he can't even curse. polly starts being mean to her friends and saying things that would be very hurtful to hear. the merkingdom isn't really super evil and fucked up, it's just miranda that's like that. they become simpler, easier to digest, streamlined for social media posts and mass-sharing. they become less and less subversions of existing tropes and moreso just another example of them, something else to add to the collection, not their own individual stories.

even further from this, what more complex traits they had are now stated and not shown. polly is stated to be smart and clever in a way that her party girl persona doesn't imply and to be sincerely rather down to earth with the people she cares about, but we seldom ever see this anymore unless its the game specifically trying to make a point about it, in which case it won't let her do anything that implies cleverness and moreso will just outline it in the narration. vera is stated to care for people in a very genuine and heartfelt way, but seldom will get a chance to do so, and every opportunity for her to do so to their faces is missed while she will just outright state it later. it does not feel consistent, it does not feel like any of these are intended reads of their actions. it feels like the devs have something they want to do but no idea on how to actually do so. and forget it if you want these traits to manifest in small ways that show up in unrelated moments and scenes.

the dialogue becomes harder and harder to tell between each speaker, if you are just looking at what's said and not at the pictures attached to it. the characters' distinct voices have been eroded away, so that they speak more and more like each other, relaying the same terms and ideas in the same words. perspective becomes a suggestion, instead of a must.

this is something that started back in monster camp too, as all of the endings in that game felt ultimately the same as every other ending. it's very hard to place or define the full reason why, why there feels like there's no emotional stakes nor investment, why everything feels moreso like selecting different coats of paint and trying to find all the different ending pictures rather than being interested in exploring the characters as characters.

stranger yet, the series that started with the tagline of "be your worst self" has experienced a kind of... softening, for lack of a better word? what i mentioned about being able to handle the balance between terrible people who do terrible things and the light tone of the game starts to change, as abruptly the same characters who were down with violent murder in the first game start to lose their nerve, acting more and more on more typical morality. it's one of those things that feels like it's starting to damage the tone, as abruptly it's not as absurd as it used to be, demands less suspension of disbelief which could buffer and support the rest of the setting on it. there's even a part in one of the endings in montrip which involves current-polly and current-scott looking back on their monprom selves and reacting in horror at how violent and careless their pranks are, in a way that fundamentally felt like it was undercutting and disparaging all the things that felt fun and made monprom what it was.

which is odd, really, because more and more i feel like the characters in these games like each other less and less. the friendships and genuine enjoyment of each others company that brought me to this game in the first place has gone. now they don't mention each other as much, don't care for each other's feelings and reactions as much, aren't as willing to support each other. they are more and more found on their own, relied on their own, seem to seek out contact and interaction with their own friends less and less. it feels like they're all separating out into their own worlds, but also feels like they wouldn't willingly want to interact with each other if they weren't already forced together by some other outside contrivance.

if anything, i'd compare it to every other dating sim out there, where you, the player, are the most important person in these characters' lives, and they only feel ambivalent or antagonistic towards every other character. which, again, is not why i picked up monster prom or why i liked it so much in the first place.

and it's because of this that it feels like the current state of the series has to focus on its increasingly weak worldbuilding and lore, trying to form a more serious foundation without character relationships being so tightly bound together, without the characters themselves being more developed and rich, without an aspect of absurd humor to rely on.

more and more i've noticed monprom has to rely on referencing other series to make itself funny and create humor, which, again, it's always done. it was just easier to ignore back then, if you didn't know what was being referenced, because there was always more going on in the exact same scene to bolster it and give context clues as to the setup and punchline at play. it feels like the current games are much more dependent on you knowing pop culture references in order to have any fun with it, and i'm someone who, again, is very picky in what i like or what i'll seek out. i'm not interested in a stream of references about other things that i would much rather be doing than playing through a game that feels like it hates that i like it at all, when i could, again, just be engaging with the thing that takes itself seriously and knows what it wants.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Marshmallow Longtermism

The paperback edition of The Lost Cause, my nationally bestselling, hopeful solarpunk novel is out this week!

My latest column for Locus Magazine is "Marshmallow Longtermism"; it's a reflection on how conservatives self-mythologize as the standards-bearers for deferred gratification and making hard trade-offs, but are utterly lacking in these traits when it comes to climate change and inequality:

https://locusmag.com/2024/09/cory-doctorow-marshmallow-longtermism/

Conservatives often root our societal ills in a childish impatience, and cast themselves as wise adults who understand that "you can't get something for nothing." Think here of the memes about lazy kids who would rather spend on avocado toast and fancy third-wave coffee rather than paying off their student loans. In this framing, poverty is a consequence of immaturity. To be a functional adult is to be sober in all things: not only does a grownup limit their intoxicant intake to head off hangovers, they also go to the gym to prevent future health problems, they save their discretionary income to cover a down-payment and student loans.

This isn't asceticism, though: it's a mature decision to delay gratification. Avocado toast is a reward for a life well-lived: once you've paid off your mortgage and put your kid through college, then you can have that oat-milk latte. This is just "sound reasoning": every day you fail to pay off your student loan represents another day of compounding interest. Pay off the loan first, and you'll save many avo toasts' worth of interest and your net toast consumption can go way, way up.

Cleaving the world into the patient (the mature, the adult, the wise) and the impatient (the childish, the foolish, the feckless) does important political work. It transforms every societal ill into a personal failing: the prisoner in the dock who stole to survive can be recast as a deficient whose partying on study-nights led to their failure to achieve the grades needed for a merit scholarship, a first-class degree, and a high-paying job.

Dividing the human race into "the wise" and "the foolish" forms an ethical basis for hierarchy. If some of us are born (or raised) for wisdom, then naturally those people should be in charge. Moreover, putting the innately foolish in charge is a recipe for disaster. The political scientist Corey Robin identifies this as the unifying belief common to every kind of conservativism: that some are born to rule, others are born to be ruled over:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/08/01/set-healthy-boundaries/#healthy-populism

This is why conservatives are so affronted by affirmative action, whose premise is that the absence of minorities in the halls of power stems from systemic bias. For conservatives, the fact that people like themselves are running things is evidence of their own virtue and suitability for rule. In conservative canon, the act of shunting aside members of dominant groups to make space for members of disfavored minorities isn't justice, it's dangerous "virtue signaling" that puts the childish and unfit in positions of authority.

Again, this does important political work. If you are ideologically committed to deregulation, and then a giant, deregulated sea-freighter crashes into a bridge, you can avoid any discussion of re-regulating the industry by insisting that we are living in a corrupted age where the unfit are unjustly elevated to positions of authority. That bridge wasn't killed by deregulation – it's demise is the fault of the DEI hire who captained the ship:

https://www.axios.com/local/salt-lake-city/2024/03/26/baltimore-bridge-dei-utah-lawmaker-phil-lyman-misinformation

The idea of a society made up of the patient and wise and the impatient and foolish is as old as Aesop's "The Ant and the Grasshopper," but it acquired a sheen of scientific legitimacy in 1970, with Walter Mischel's legendary "Stanford Marshmallow Experiment":

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_marshmallow_experiment

In this experiment, kids were left alone in a locked room with a single marshmallow, after being told that they would get two marshmallows in 15 minutes, but only if they waited until them to eat the marshmallow before them. Mischel followed these kids for decades, finding that the kids who delayed gratification and got that second marshmallow did better on every axis – educational attainment, employment, and income. Adult brain-scans of these subjects revealed structural differences between the patient and the impatient.

For many years, the Stanford Marshmallow experiment has been used to validate the cleavage of humanity in the patient and wise and impatient and foolish. Those brain scans were said to reveal the biological basis for thinking of humanity's innate rulers as a superior subspecies, hidden in plain sight, destined to rule.

Then came the "replication crisis," in which numerous bedrock psychological studies from the mid 20th century were re-run by scientists whose fresh vigor disproved and/or complicated the career-defining findings of the giants of behavioral "science." When researchers re-ran Mischel's tests, they discovered an important gloss to his findings. By questioning the kids who ate the marshmallows right away, rather than waiting to get two marshmallows, they discovered that these kids weren't impatient, they were rational.

The kids who ate the marshmallows were more likely to come from poorer households. These kids had repeatedly been disappointed by the adults in their lives, who routinely broke their promises to the kids. Sometimes, this was well-intentioned, as when an economically precarious parent promised a treat, only to come up short because of an unexpected bill. Sometimes, this was just callousness, as when teachers, social workers or other authority figures fobbed these kids off with promises they knew they couldn't keep.

The marshmallow-eating kids had rationally analyzed their previous experiences and were making a sound bet that a marshmallow on the plate now was worth more than a strange adult's promise of two marshmallows. The "patient" kids who waited for the second marshmallow weren't so much patient as they were trusting: they had grown up with parents who had the kind of financial cushion that let them follow through on their promises, and who had the kind of social power that convinced other adults – teachers, etc – to follow through on their promises to their kids.

Once you understand this, the lesson of the Marshmallow Experiment is inverted. The reason two marshmallow kids thrived is that they came from privileged backgrounds: their high grades were down to private tutors, not the choice to study rather than partying. Their plum jobs and high salaries came from university and family connections, not merit. Their brain differences were the result of a life free from the chronic, extreme stress that comes with poverty.

Post-replication crisis, the moral of the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment is that everyone experiences a mix of patience and impatience, but for the people born to privilege, the consequences of impatience are blunted and the rewards of patience are maximized.

Which explains a lot about how rich people actually behave. Take Charles Koch, who grew his father's coal empire a thousandfold by making long-term investments in automation. Koch is a vocal proponent of patience and long-term thinking, and is openly contemptuous of publicly traded companies because of the pressure from shareholders to give preference to short-term extraction over long-term planning. He's got a point.

Koch isn't just a fossil fuel baron, he's also a wildly successful ideologue. Koch is one of a handful of oligarchs who have transformed American politics by patiently investing in a kraken's worth of think tanks, universities, PACs, astroturf organizations, Star chambers and other world-girding tentacles. After decades of gerrymandering, voter suppression, court-packing and propagandizing, the American billionaire class has seized control of the US and its institutions. Patience pays!

But Koch's longtermism is highly selective. Arguably, Charles Koch bears more personal responsibility for delaying action on the climate emergency than any other person, alive or dead. Addressing greenhouse gasses is the most grasshopper-and-the-ant-ass crisis of all. Every day we delayed doing something about this foreseeable, well-understood climate debt added sky-high compounding interest. In failing to act, we saved billions – but we stuck our future selves with trillions in debt for which no bankruptcy procedure exists.

By convincing us not to invest in retooling for renewables in order to make his billions, Koch was committing the sin of premature avocado toast, times a billion. His inability to defer gratification – which he imposed on the rest of us – means that we are likely to lose much of world's coastal cities (including the state of Florida), and will have to find trillions to cope with wildfires, zoonotic plagues, and hundreds of millions of climate refugees.

Koch isn't a serene Buddha whose ability to surf over his impetuous attachments qualifies him to make decisions for the rest of us. Rather, he – like everyone else – is a flawed vessel whose blind spots are just as stubborn as ours. But unlike a person whose lack of foresight leads to drug addiction and petty crimes to support their habit, Koch's flaws don't just hurt a few people, they hurt our entire species and the only planet that can support it.

The selective marshmallow patience of the rich creates problems beyond climate debt. Koch and his fellow oligarchs are, first and foremost, supporters of oligarchy, an intrinsically destabilizing political arrangement that actually threatens their fortunes. Policies that favor the wealthy are always seeking an equilibrium between instability and inequality: a rich person can either submit to having their money taxed away to build hospitals, roads and schools, or they can invest in building high walls and paying guards to keep the rest of us from building guillotines on their lawns.

Rich people gobble that marshmallow like there's no tomorrow (literally). They always overestimate how much bang they'll get for their guard-labor buck, and underestimate how determined the poors will get after watching their children die of starvation and preventable diseases.

All of us benefit from some kind of cushion from our bad judgment, but not too much. The problem isn't that wealthy people get to make a few poor choices without suffering brutal consequences – it's that they hoard this benefit. Most of us are one missed student debt payment away from penalties and interest that add twenty years to our loan, while Charles Koch can set the planet on fire and continue to act as though he was born with the special judgment that means he knows what's best for us.

On SEPTEMBER 24th, I'll be speaking IN PERSON at the BOSTON PUBLIC LIBRARY!!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/04/deferred-gratification/#selective-foresight

Image: Mark S (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/markoz46/4864682934/

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

[starmosaics]

Shadow of natal Venus-Lilith aspects

This post is about Black Moon Lilith and i'm mainly talking about the conjunction and harsh aspects.

I have Venus conjunct Lilith in my own chart so here's some notes based off of my personal experience and observations. Sidenote: I am not shaming anyone for having these shadow aspects as they exist within me as well. Dominant Lilith folks are meant to self integrate their shadow sides to gain better awareness and to accept them to become whole. Everything I speak about are things I currently struggle with or have previously struggled with. I want this to be nothing but a safe space for Lilith dominant folks.

Sexualization and fetishization: These people are often sexualized at a very young age and throughout their lives. People often make sexual comments or gestures towards these individuals. Venus-Lilith folks may also become fetishized. People can project their fantasies onto Venus-Lilith natives, treating them as objects, only viewing them as sexual figures rather than actual human beings. People may have hidden agendas towards the Venus-Lilith person as well usually revolving around wanting to obtain something from them such as sex. People may paint Venus-Lilith people to be provocative and "sexually suggestive" when they're simply just existing.

Society: Lilith dominant people are often shamed by others. People project things onto them and create false perceptions of them. Society will stare, create assumptions, and speak behind these people's back. One of the purposes of Lilith dominance in a chart is for the person to completely leave societal expectations to follow their own unique path and to do it fearlessly. This is a huge challenge for them as they will often feel judged, unaccepted and ridiculed by others. They may have had family members project certain ideals onto them which in return they internalized and grew up trying to fit in with everyone around them. They may have been bullied during their developmental years, or got sucked into societal standards. Whatever a Lilith dominant person does that isn't deemed acceptable by the common collective, there will be talk. They must learn to disregard this and to continue to walk their own path and life their lives to the fullest; something that's true to them. They must honor the things that make them different from others.

Self image and self esteem: When/if sexualized at a young age or shamed by others, they can easily internalize this and seek external validation which in return ruins their perceptions of themselves and their self esteem. They could have an obsession over wanting to achieve perfection committing to an ideal that often is projected onto them by another. These people must work on healing this aspect within themselves as they can easily act on self hatred or create a false image of themselves, essentially creating a mask.

Control: Venus-Lilith folks may have issues regarding control within themselves and their relationships. They may resist any control that is put onto them, but can push to control their partners. They have a difficulty with being told no which can lead to acting impulsively and seeking instant gratification to get what they want; when their eyes are set on something, they do everything to get it. They also can have a hard time with compromising with partners due to their need for control. The need for control often stems from not wanting to be taken advantage of by others, especially by their partners.

Men...: Something to be mindful of is men treat Lilith dominant people weirdly. Men who are in relationships will show interest, men will stare at you wherever you go, their eyes will dart or follow your every move, men will unsolicitedly approach you, men will try to control and dominate you, men will think you're seducing them, men will project their fantasies onto you and have no shame in making it known, and men will objectify and sexualize you. I've had men suggest sex or straight up ask me for it; men who I've barely spoken to or just met. It's disgusting.

Sexuality: I have seen this play out in mainly two different ways; one being the Venus-Lilith person refraining from indulging in their sexual desires, restraining their sexuality and sexual expression, or the Venus-Lilith person discovering their sexuality earlier on and becoming sexually liberated. The shadow sides of these two scenarios is they can either be sexually repressed, usually caused by shame or guilt for having such desires, or they can overt their sexuality in an unhealthy manner, leading to debauchery or to gain or win something from another by luring them in. These people must create a healthy relationship with their sexuality and sexual desires so it's not completely dormant and kept on the backburner, or so it doesn't completely overrule their lives.

Relationships: Oftentimes relationships are complicated for Venus-Lilith natives. They can become another person's rebound, can become a third party (or what they call the other woman/a mistress) in someone else's relationship, can enter a toxic relationship, can confuse passion, limerence, and lust for love, or can repeatedly face heartbreak and chaos in one's love life. Something i've experienced in myself and have noticed in others is that there's sometimes there's a struggle with give in take in their relationships. They may want or expect their partner to fulfill all their needs, essentially wanting more than what they can give. They can have a difficult time with feeling entirely satisfied and may unconsciously ask for more than what a person can give. They may put their needs first or focus on how a relationship will serve them rather than entering something solely for love. Venus-Lilith people may be obsessive and have attachments towards potential partners OR they attract obsessive people. Even in the beginning stage of a relationship, they may find that their partners become quickly attached and possessive over the Venus-Lilith native. Jealousy is also another thing they may face within themselves or whomever they're romantically involved with. When they are in love, they're super intense; feeling love so strongly that it consumes them. Heartbreak is incredibly painful for anybody, but people with Venus-Lilith may completely rip themselves apart if heartbroken. At the end of a painful heartbreak or lesson in love, there's always an incredible transformation these individuals go through to better understand themselves and their shadows, deepest desires and fears, and others.

[gatorbites-imagines]

Hey! I hope you’re doing good in ur exams!!

Can I request a Tomura x Male reader?

Before the whole war…please, I’m grieving a lot for way too many reasons. ☹️

Tomura Shigaraki x male reader

Headcanons

Big sucker for gamer Shigaraki, why did people stop writing it. So im basing this off earlier season Shiggy, but you can imagine him how you want.

Reader has a quirk vaguely based off Yaga from JJK, cuz I love JJK, and I love Yaga.

Dating Shigaraki was an… experience to say the least. He could be quite bratty or childish at times, but you couldn’t really blame him, especially after hearing about his relationship with that sensei of his.

You weren’t a villain. But you just… didn’t respect the system and thought the hero system was corrupt beyond redemption. You didn’t think Shigaraki’s Sensei had the right idea either. But you had been ignored more than once by the so-called heroes meant to save you.

You had what most would call a “villain” quirk, having the ability to make something akin to dolls or golems, some even being so complex they could think and feel on their own. You had even created more than one that didn’t know it was a doll.

Being raised by golems was an experience, as your parents had been so offput by your quirk and interest in how everything and everyone worked. They’d fed you and clothed you, but that was it. and when your younger siblings developed more “appropriate” quirks, the gap became massive.

It had led to you leaving home as a teen, having finished and graduated online school earlier than most.

You had left a small unnoticeable golem in your home, just to see how long it took your family to realize you were gone. The answer was three months, and it was only because your rich grandpa who had a string quirk, who had always supported your love for puppets, came back from abroad to visit.

The gratification of hearing and seeing your loving but serious grandpa rip your family apart verbally, and then take away all the monetary support he had been given them, was almost enough to cover up the pain of your empty stomach and warm you where you were huddled in an alley.

Meeting Shigaraki had been an accident in the beginning. Your golems had only gotten more and more complex, meaning you suddenly had an income that was more than enough to get your own place, with one of the golems as the “owner” of course.

After that you started selling information and different kinds of “defense” work. That meaning, you helped people hide from the hero commission, and get information other people couldn’t. what was better for that situation other than an army of people that just didn’t exist.

You were picked up by Giran, who had taken notice of your large net of people, whom he didn’t know were your puppets and golems. He, or rather All for one, paid much more than you really needed. But all these years had taught you more than most knew about the inner workings of hero society, so you didn’t turn it away.

You did have a slight feeling that All for one wanted to eat you after he learned about your quirk. But the whole having to build the skill and mental capacity seemed to stop him, for now, since he apparently didn’t have time to perfect it in time for what he had planned.

You were the first outsider in the league of villains, way before anybody else joined, which was how you and Shigaraki started spending time together.

In the beginning hed been his dry snappy bratty self, and he just reminded you of the dirty street cats that you used to feed when you still lived in alleyways. They’d hiss and spit, trying to puff up and look tough, but they always just looked so frail and vulnerable.

Neither of you could tell when your relationship became more than just coworkers. Maybe it was when Shigaraki had Kurogiri warp him to your penthouse since your tv “was bigger and better” than the one he had in his room.

Or when you started bringing him designer clothes that would fit him better than the rags he wore, or had your golems break into different shops to get him some ointment that would help with his scratching.

You even caught yourself once or twice trying to play his games, but you figured out your usual strategic and put together mind lost all its footing playing LOL. Never before had your age quit, and you were too shamed to try again after that.

Shigaraki would admit later that he had tried to get into your hobbies too, with a big blush on his face and a sour expression, like he didn’t want to admit that he had feelings. He couldn’t really get into the art that was doll and golem making, and just how detailed it got for you had his head spinning.

Neither of you ever outright asked the other to date, it just kinda progressed to that point. Shigaraki spent more time at your place than at the “villain hideout”, even after the rest of the league joined.

You started going on dates, which were you booking an entire arcade or restaurant, and having your golems serve you. Or letting Shigaraki lean against you playing his handheld as you planned stocks or different businesses you had your fingers in.

In front of others, you two just seemed like allies, maybe friends on a good day. And it only came out after Magne and Toga had been teasing Shigaraki about having no experience, where he snapped at them that he had a boyfriend, you.

The rest of the league were shocked to say the least, since you two didn’t act anything like a couple around them. But both you and Shigaraki just raise a brow going “why would we be all lovey at work”.

It didn’t surprise you that Shigaraki was touch starved and loved to cuddle. In the beginning he would almost act like it pained him to be touched and cradled. but so many years with no normal human contact always had that effect.

You weren’t used to it yourself, having gone so long with only the touch and comfort of your dolls and golems, but none of it was the same as when it was another person.

The two of you were pretty much dating in your shared opinion, before you ever really got physical. And by that, I mean, you started out by just sitting close or you wrapping your arms around Shigaraki.

Your lover was understandably scared of touching you with his hands, even when he wore gloves to stop his quirk from working. So, it was a major breakthrough when he did return the hugs, or would hold your hand.

But when the floodgates for affection opened, Shigaraki would always find himself clinging to you like a cat searching for warmth. It was pretty damn cute in your eyes, and whenever he would shuffle into the room, you just life an arm and let him melt into your side.

Most days you could keep working, answering the phone, checking your laptop, and what else. But there were also days where Shigaraki would grumble about dusting your stuff if you didn’t cuddle him right.

Part of you had a feeling it was Shigaraki wanting you to take a break, and the other part was sure it was just cuz he liked to be squeezed tight and snuggled. But who were you to complain.

[prettyboypistol]

TF2 Medic x M!Reader || Unreliable Nurse

[Hurt/Comfort] [Understanding Medic] [Period Accurate Homophobia/Xenophobia towards Gays/Germans] [Coworkers to Ambiguous] [GORE WARNING]

You were a mercenary. You were hired to kill people day in and out for the gratification of your superiors and you were not allowed to stop until the day your contract ended. Every morning should have been the same- wake up, gear up, shoot up.

So why the hell were you holding your Heavy's torso open with spreaders while your Medic bug around in his organs?! You were supposed to end lives, not mangle them back to life!

"Medic, why am I even here?" You grunt in disgust as Heavy's organs squish against your bare palm. They are disgustingly alive. Should intestines move like that on their own?!

"Well someone has to hold the ribcage open, and my hands are rather busy at the moment!" Medic responded cheerfully. He was right though; both of his hands were what you could only describe as groping Heavy's lungs and heart with a sadistically pleasures look in his eyes.

"Eugh, you look like you're getting off to this." You growled as Medic finally seemed satisfied with his curiosities. The lungs he had installed in Heavy were significantly bugger than your head- would the torso even close up?

"Nonsense, I am a professional- er, mostly." Medic chuckled to himself. He waved your hold away as he healed Heavy back up to his usual hulking self. Well, at least someone seemed happy about the surgery that wasn't an absolute psycho.

You had no idea why you helped Medic clean up after the surgery, you could have left at any time, yet you didn't. Maybe it was because you held a burning question on the tip of your tongue that begged to esca-

"Do you actually get off to like, gore and stuff?"

Shit.

Medic perked up, a quizzical look on his face as he flushed the blood into the storage bags. "Do I really give off that vibe?" He sounded rather genuine in his question too. Fuck, you felt like the world's biggest asshole.

"I mean, Scout seems to think so- plus uh, you do this thing with your face that kinda well-" you stumbled over your words as you swept up the bone fragments into the dustpan at your feet. Bending over, you finally finished your sentence. "I dunno, it just looks like you're some kinda sadist."

Medic shook his head as he placed the bloodbags into the fridge. His eyes flickered over where the Spy head used to be before the enemy Scout stole it back. He was a rather funny conversationalist.

"No, not a sadist in the regard. You all are perfectly safe from me!" Medic attempted to joke. You nodded and gave him a small laugh of acknowledgement.

"Well, I suppose I should tell Scout the good news. He's been spouting about how you've been trying to inject him with homosexual serum to see if you can turn him." You informed him. You and the team knew that Scout was spouting bullshit, but your curiosity to Medics reaction was what pulled you to tell him.

Medic slammed a fist down onto his vivisection table, his expression rather grimly stern.

"I've had it with that ungrateful little brat." He muttered. He looked to you, but when you nodded in understanding, he started to vent. "He's always getting himself into shit, then begging me to fix him back up!" Medic threw his hands up, mocking Scout's voice. "always 'Oh medic, heal me!' 'Oh medic! I broke my arm again!'" Medic growled as he slicked his hair back and sighed. "All while calling me a goddamn nazi when I prioritize Heavy!"

You let Medic rant. Clearly this had been on his mind and weighing on him, if the nervous pacing and dramatic gesturing was anything to go by. Yeah, you had heard Scout make a few jabs about the SS and war camps to Medic, but you never really had gotten involved before- it wasn't your business anyway and Medic could handle himself- so you thought.

"I'm not a fucking nazi! I was sixteen and drafted as a Medic!"

You interrupted Medoc with a hand on his shoulder. He turned to look at you, shocked and clearly hurt in his brow.

"Yeah, I'll bust him up for that. Didn't know it was that bad, if I knew I woulda stepped in." You apologized- at least, this was your version of an apology. Medic took a calming inhale before he tried to return you a weak smile.

"I try not to let the words of the youth get to me too much. Hell, do you think he was alive for the war?" Medic laughed weakly.

"Isn't he about 25? Probably was born just on the outskirts of it." You mused. You were a few years older than Scout was, but Medic outmatched you with the streaks of grey in his hair. He shook his head softly with a muttering of "Ah, the blissful ignorance of the young."

"Well, if it's any consolation, I don't think you're a nazi nor do I think you're some weird psychosexual freak trying to turn us all into homos." You promise with a playful punch to Medic’s shoulder. "Besides, you can't turn what's already there, yeah?"

"You're-"

"Mhm, don't go telling anyone though, I could lose a job if that info came out."

You thought it was only for that you were open to Medic, since he was gracious enough to be honest with you.

"I thought I was the only one!" Ah, there was that excitedly happy chirp you were scaredly fond of.

Maybe being an impromptu nurse wasn't so bad after all.

[amapinksafe]

　 ིྀ 𓎟†𓎟𓎟　Romanticizing Life　𓎟𓎟†𓎟 ྀི

"Romanticizing your life" is a phrase that encourages people to live in the present moment, appreciate what they have, and find beauty in the ordinary. you look for moments of beauty, appreciate the small things throughout your day and (crucially) celebrate what you already have, rather than delaying gratification for an elusive Someday.

ৎ୭ a journal is a good start. to write down your thoughts, feelings and goals/ideas. easier for you to keep your thoughts organized than feel overloaded and distracted by all of your thoughts together.

ৎ୭ moodboards !! to match your vibe and aesthetic, helps you feel like you.

ৎ୭ selfcare + music = perfection !

ৎ୭ self dates. take yourself on a date either outdoors or indoors. movie nights, self care, dinner, etc.

ৎ୭ buy yourself gifts, treat yourself right !

ৎ୭ learn to appreciate yourself over others! taking care of yourself is meant for yourself not 50+ other people around you. being selfish isn’t always a bad thing.

ৎ୭ reading! learn to love reading, it helps a lot and has many benefits:

ৎ୭ enhanced imagination: Reading allows you to use your brain to imagine visuals, characters, scents, and sounds.

ৎ୭ increased empathy: Reading fiction can help people become more empathic by simulating social experiences.

ৎ୭ improved focus and concentration: Reading requires concentration and focus.

ৎ୭ vocabulary expansion: Reading can help develop your vocabulary.

ৎ୭ improved sleep quality: Reading can improve sleep quality.

ৎ୭ dress how you’re comfortable! make yourself presentable and neatly put together.

ৎ୭ cleaning. is. a. must.

ৎ୭ hobbies are so good, helps a lot with many life experiences and super fun activities overall to keep you active and productive.

ৎ୭ change/organize your social media platforms, the aesthetic and content can always switch up.

ৎ୭ eat balance meals and stay hydrated.

make yourself comfortable in your own life. not someone else’s.

[radioactivewisdom]

Keep in mind while interacting with everyday people, that there is likely a chance that they recently dined on foot fungus and E. coli. Even more probable that they did so with a stranger, or “date” they met a week before on an app. It’s no wonder that current generations are developing so many elusive diseases and ailments, that are diagnosed as chronic stress and fatigue. One can only imagine what consistent exposure to fecal matter does to the brain overtime. We all know what it does to their breath and appearances.

Make no doubt about it, once their body breaks from the ongoing exposure, they’ll have someone else to blame. This is when they recruit you into their fear mongering. Didn’t you know that the “system” is sabotaging them by not providing them with completely consequence free butt eating? Misogynistic doctors are refusing to create a cure all vaccine for the sexual diseases acquired over a lifetime of “liberation.”

Talking to these individuals is bad enough, please be diligent about your safety. Do not share food, drinks, utensils, chapstick, clothing, or any personal belongings with others. They’ll try to divulge their sexual escapades in extensive detail as well. This is a form of mental unloading that’s equivalent to sharing a toothbrush with these people. You’ll notice how off you’ll feel after the fact, even if it only manifest as a “random” spike of anxiety later on.

Your mental, emotional, physical well being, and heart are all at risk when around deranged individuals. Don’t accept their gaslighting. If you passed by a stranger on the street and they were sucking on their own toes, what would you think? Would you categorize that person as being sound of mind? Yet, when confined to a bedroom, and used as a means for sexual gratification, we’re supposed to accept such fetishes. This is mental illness, emotional emptiness, physical damage, and hungry hearts barely clinging to life.

You have a duty to protect yourself. Keep your mind clean and you’ll begin to see just how much of this world’s filth is self inflicted. It’s possible to truly live rather than just endure. The less in tune you are with yourself, the more dangerous distractions are required. Sensory overload becomes necessary to feel anything at all. It never lasts though, so they go further down the rabbit hole. No stone, substance, or bodily fluid is left untouched. Avoid the radioactive, they’ll only be happy once you’re contaminated with the same green flush.

[unpluggedfinancial]

The Psychological Shift: How Bitcoin Transforms Mindsets and Sharpens Critical Thinking

Bitcoin is often seen as a revolutionary form of money, a decentralized currency that disrupts the traditional financial system. But for those who have truly ventured down the Bitcoin rabbit hole, its impact goes far beyond just wealth accumulation or digital currency. Bitcoin fundamentally transforms how people think about money, time, and value. It sparks a psychological shift that changes not only how we view the financial system but also how we approach life itself.

A New Perspective on Money

For most of us, the concept of money has been ingrained since childhood: paper bills, coins, and now digital numbers in a bank account. But what happens when you question the very nature of money? Enter Bitcoin, a form of "hard money" with a finite supply, immune to inflationary pressures and political manipulation. As Bitcoiners dive into understanding the difference between fiat currency and Bitcoin, a profound realization occurs: money as we know it is fundamentally broken.

Fiat currencies are based on trust in governments and central banks, which can print more money at will, leading to inflation and devaluation. Bitcoin, however, is capped at 21 million, creating a scarcity that makes it a true store of value. Once people grasp this, their entire mindset shifts. Money is no longer seen as just a medium of exchange but as a vehicle for preserving wealth over time. Saving, rather than spending, becomes the priority.

The Shift from Short-Term to Long-Term Thinking

Fiat systems encourage short-term thinking. Inflation erodes savings, making it seem logical to spend now rather than hold onto money that loses value over time. This mindset is reflected in the way people live—focusing on immediate gratification, chasing the next paycheck, or the next material purchase. Bitcoin, however, flips this thinking upside down.

When people begin accumulating Bitcoin, they start thinking in terms of years, decades, even generations. Suddenly, there’s no rush to spend. The concept of "low time preference" becomes a guiding principle. It’s the understanding that delaying gratification leads to greater rewards in the future. Bitcoiners begin to adopt a long-term perspective not only in finance but in other areas of life—investing in education, relationships, and personal growth.

This shift towards long-term thinking encourages patience, discipline, and resilience—traits that are increasingly rare in a world dominated by instant gratification.

The Role of Personal Responsibility

One of the most empowering aspects of Bitcoin is the control it offers. There’s no need to rely on banks or third-party custodians to manage your wealth. You hold your own keys, and you are your own bank. This level of self-sovereignty is both liberating and daunting. It forces individuals to take personal responsibility for their financial security.

Unlike traditional financial systems, where you can call customer service if something goes wrong, with Bitcoin, there’s no safety net. You are fully responsible for securing your wealth—this includes understanding private keys, using hardware wallets, and ensuring your funds are safe from hackers or theft.

The psychological impact is profound. Bitcoin teaches accountability, self-reliance, and an unshakable sense of responsibility. These traits extend beyond financial matters, fostering a mindset of ownership and control over one’s life choices and actions.

Critical Thinking: Sharpening the Mind

Bitcoin doesn't just change how we think about money—it sharpens our ability to think critically. As you dive deeper into Bitcoin, you start questioning not just the financial system but everything around you. Why do governments control money? How does inflation really work? What are the broader implications of a decentralized system? These questions lead to deeper research, learning, and ultimately a stronger ability to critically analyze the world.

Many people who venture down the Bitcoin rabbit hole find themselves studying economics, politics, cryptography, and even philosophy. Bitcoiners often report that their ability to question mainstream narratives and develop independent thought processes is sharpened along the way.

As you explore Bitcoin, you uncover a deeper understanding of the traditional financial system’s flaws—its centralization, manipulation, and corruption. With each new discovery, your critical thinking skills are honed, making you more discerning in your financial decisions and in life.

Uncovering Truth in a World of Misinformation

We live in a world where narratives are carefully crafted by institutions, governments, and media. Much of the information we consume is driven by vested interests. Bitcoin, however, cuts through the noise. It exposes the manipulation of money and the economic system, making it impossible to ignore the truth.

When you start to understand Bitcoin’s principles, you begin to question everything else. The more you learn, the more you uncover. This newfound awareness opens the door to a broader worldview that doesn’t just accept things at face value but seeks to understand the root cause of issues, whether in finance, governance, or personal freedom.

A Broader Impact on Personal Growth

Bitcoin doesn’t just change how you think about money; it changes how you approach life. With an emphasis on self-sovereignty, long-term thinking, and personal responsibility, Bitcoin promotes a mindset of growth and improvement. Many Bitcoiners report that they adopt healthier habits as a result of this psychological shift—whether it's improving their diet, exercising regularly, or taking control of their education and personal development.

In a sense, Bitcoin becomes a tool for philosophical growth. The "low time preference" mindset—delaying gratification for greater rewards—begins to influence every aspect of life. Suddenly, the quick fixes no longer seem appealing. Instead, there’s a focus on building lasting value and living with intention.

Conclusion: The Journey to Transformation

Bitcoin is more than just a digital currency or an investment vehicle—it’s a journey of transformation. The psychological shift that occurs when someone truly understands Bitcoin reshapes how they view money, time, and their role in the world. It sharpens critical thinking skills, fosters a sense of personal responsibility, and encourages long-term, intentional living.

For those who are willing to take the plunge and explore the depths of Bitcoin, the rewards go far beyond financial gains. It’s a mental, emotional, and philosophical transformation that can influence every area of life.

Are you ready for your shift?

Take Action Towards Financial Independence

If this article has sparked your interest in the transformative potential of Bitcoin, there's so much more to explore! Dive deeper into the world of financial independence and revolutionize your understanding of money by following my blog and subscribing to my YouTube channel.

🌐 Blog: Unplugged Financial Blog Stay updated with insightful articles, detailed analyses, and practical advice on navigating the evolving financial landscape. Learn about the history of money, the flaws in our current financial systems, and how Bitcoin can offer a path to a more secure and independent financial future.

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Donate Bitcoin: bc1qpn98s4gtlvy686jne0sr8ccvfaxz646kk2tl8lu38zz4dvyyvflqgddylk

[santajp]

Holy hell, I get this AI Generated Images thing is the current trend, but I want it to shrivel up and die so much. It is annoying and sad to have to explain to people what it means to live in a basic capacity, that they are so unsympathetic and desensitized to see the reality of the situation they are making happen right in front of our eyes. Despite those who claim that AI 'Art' truly exists being so devout, human sweat and tears mattering little in comparison, their arguments fall flat at the most basic understanding of the technology they are using.

Yes, we are seeing a massive rise of AI power. Though no matter what you want to think, humans made it happen. A computer on its own cannot take your order at a restaurant, know what an art style truly is from years of experience, manage files in the way you ask it to, text through words we know, or speak in a trillion voices, without humans being the foundation for it to do so. It must know a base line, and it must get good feedback and data to improve. A computer cannot make anything that is art because of that lack of meaning, and in a legal sense, the fact that it is most likely taking many copyrighted materials, not for the intention of artistic reasons but because it would be nothing on its own. Unlike a human, which even at the simplest state of an infant, will make something simply to understand the world it inhabits and express such understanding, a computer can only mimic what such life is. It can only see examples of living and try to act as we do, even though it is still, in the end, nothing but what we make it to be. This is why it must steal voices, drawings, animations, writings, and any other form of art to make something that only copies patterns, often time without even a tiny bit of credit being given to those who it took from and leeches off of.

Those who claim we must embrace a new wave of art made by these machines and say this is the future that is somehow better for us are not only an embrassment to the present but also to the rest of human history. They saw an untold amount of time, where we once drew in caves to then be making our mark on the stars with symbols and devices that mean little to the universe at large but so much to us, and drew to the conclusion that somehow the humanity which got us so far suddenly became obsolete. They'd rather damn the rest of history as somehow showing that the goal was to elimnate art rather than let it flourish, than see that they are accepting a life of short-term gratification that only separates people further from one another, and that art was never made simply because it had to be some arbitrary goal of quality.

Art was made to transfer ideas, to show the most mundane parts of living to the grandest ideas we could only imagine. It was made to show what living was, what being human was across the world, and we've seen that what is made lasts. It all isn't perfect, but we see that those before us made an impact by the things they created, and whether they showed the worst or best part of ourselves, they showed one part of it that should be remembered. We must remember to not make the same mistakes, to remember what ideas we had, to use the past to see that no human is flawless and exempt from the self-reflection of morals and the creation of new thought life deserves we give it.

Art is a part of being human, one that is in us by design. We see it in the world in too many ways to speak of and in too many forms to even know of each one. Though no matter what form of art that human feeling of connection comes from, if you care for it, show that by standing up for such meaning in what we want to see. Stand up for those who create, who make things for us to love and be inspired by, who sometimes give us the will to keep moving at times where it may have been hard to do so, and who show somesort of humanity for us to see ourselves through, because anything made by human hands will beat out the mass-prodution of those who wish to turn tail to effort and deny the imperfection of art that is humanity, no matter the profit or delusion they desire for us to have.

[terra-feminarum]

Hey, um, I saw your post about how the patriarchy is crumbling and I have a few questions?

None of this is meant to come off as rude or sarcastic, I'm just really hoping my Autism is misreading your tone or something but

Why is...porn bad?

Why would it be better for the gender roles to swap, instead of establishing a solid, neutral society where we're judged by our character, not our genitals? (I got this point from you mentioning it was a good thing for society to be "woman centric" and for men to move in with their wives instead)

I also don't understand what a TRA is (from your bio). In general I don't spend much time in these circles, they stress me out.

Thank you for your questions!

1) Why is porn bad?

I think there is nothing inherently bad about erotic material. Sexuality isn't dirty or wrong and using photos or videos for becoming aroused doesn't seem morally wrong to me.

But there are things that make me opposed to porn. One thing is how it depicts women. Porn frequently, more often than not, depicts women as submissive to men and porn very often includes degradation and even torture of women. Porn depicts women who don't enjoy themselves, who twist themselves in uncomfortable positions to look good to the audience, who have all their body hair ripped off, who have bodies modified to accommodate the preferences of men, it depicts women who wear restricting and uncomfortable clothing, and the list goes on. From their head to toe, these women are modified to look like the thing men equate with "woman".

This affects to how both men and women see women. To be attractive, women should look like this. We should modify our bodies in costly, time-consuming and uncomfortable ways. Porn teaches both men and women that a woman is a sexual object, that her sexuality is for the gratification of men, rather than her own.

We all know representation is important in how we see different groups of people. People talk about porn like it's separate from the rest of our lives. But really, if most of men watch porn on a regular basis, it will affect how they see women. It will. What if all straight people watched gay people being degraded on a daily basis and jerked off to it? Could they see gay people as equal after years and years of this conditioning? What if gay people watched it too, gay people being degraded and tortured by straight people? How would it affect their self image?

And then there is the human trafficking and abuse of women in the porn industry. This is a subject I don't unfortunately know a lot about. Anyways, a lot of women participate in porn under duress or are trafficked. So, watching porn is often watching recordings of rape.

2) Why would it be better for the gender roles to swap, instead of establishing a solid, neutral society where we're judged by our character, not our genitals?

I don't want gender roles to swap. I don't want women dominating men.

I see it this way: I don't know if it's nature or nurture but women and men seem to act differently and hold different values. Look at sex segregated schools: girls will thrive, boys will bully each other. Women seem to be prone to non-hierarchical co-operation, to empathy, to understanding complex systems and dependencies, like ecosystems. Men seem to be prone to hierarchies, to violence, to competitiveness, to picking systems apart and fixating on one part without seeing the whole picture. When men lead, we see wars and climate catastrophe. Female leaders are typically more invested in peace and protecting our environment and taking into account those who need help.

I might be wrong, but personally I think part of this comes from the ability to create new life. A lot of women know how it feels when someone is totally dependent on you. Women understand nurture as the structure that keeps the society stable and sustainable.

I believe true equality can be achieved only in a matriarchal society. When women have power, we tend to distribute it to others according to their ability to take responsibility, not hoard it just for the sake of being a leader. Women tend to distribute material goods to each according to their need where as men tend to hoard it. Typically women will use their income for the good of the whole family whereas men tend to use it for their own pleasure. Power should mean responsibility and empathy, not dominating others.

I see these patterns everywhere. There are selfish women, too, and women who make unfair and bad decisions. But look at the women and men in your everyday lives and notice the patterns. There are differences.

Whatever the reason for this difference, we need women in charge to save us. The world is now led by men and I don't know if we will survive it. Imagine a world led by women. Imagine the decisions they would make without having to compromise with men and their short-sighted fantasies of unlimited growth.

3) I also don't understand what a TRA is (from your bio).

TRA is an abbreviation of trans right activists, usually used by radfems.

[degraman]

I know it's not a question but...Many praises for your game and your fortitude <3

I've been a fan of otome games for over 12 years now and have played every English one and many in other languages and I can say that the model of Degraman is different but amazing! It truly is overwhelming with all the choices and different endings but, it's the first time i've ever felt motivated to explore each and every choice on top of all of the possible endings. The creative world building is beautiful and the suspense and tension and the stakes you all set are thrilling! I'm glad you've come to terms with that your game won't be able to please everyone. And in all honesty a large part of the otome if not gaming community as a whole is dumb and obnoxious as all hell. I used to translate japanese games and the outcry i'd hear from localization teams choice on which games they pick is ridiculous.

Many people have the customer is always right and simply want self gratification and validation to be right. So a game that basically doesn't have the MC be special or they can't self insert into automatically becomes trash. But I would argue the MC isn't designed to be that way nor does she need to in Degraman. It makes sense how she thinks, and it's realistic. Perhaps not relatable to many people but she's *real* no matter what choices you pick. The MC is fallable and the world of Degraman is Extremely dangerous and volatile. It makes sense how each of the choices affects the others down the line and how even the smallest difference can make big changes. I would argue its very realistic, we have no way of knowing how a single choice or word can affect our future or how different things would be if anything changed. So I quite enjoy how not transparent the game is with what the right thing you're supposed to say is. Its a very welcome change, because it allows the reader to give true answers that they feel would be closer to themselves rather than, how do I please [insert LI name here].

I am also extensively thankful for the guide it makes things a lot less frustrating after a few runs of many different bad ends. If the guide didn't exist, I'd probably only have gotten half of the endings before deciding I needed a break. But instead this crutch motivated me to really explore every nook and cranny of the game and its lore. Which again, is riveting! It's a good change of pace, as well as realistic, that a bunch of men aren't just willing to fall for this random girl and are trying to simply earn her favor in exchange for a power boost. As such it makes sense why they couldn't and wouldn't really be bothered to tell the MC the whole truth. (As well as keeping things free from spoliers down the line XD). As a female gamer and streamer surrounded by men, that is THE most relatable moment in the game. Realizing that everyone is just around for their own benefit and using you like a tool. People find honesty difficult if it could put them at the slightest disadvantage, despite it probably making things worse in the end. However, that has not stopped every single person I've ever met struggle with that problem.

So anyone that complains that this game is frustrating or bad, is probably living a very fortunate life in which they haven't been hurt too badly by other people and don't see that this is actually extremely realistic and gives power to the players choices. That or they really just wanted a cute easy game to make them feel good about themselves to escape from reality. Which I mean, from the game intro and a lot of the art previews, I think they'd realize its not a simply happy go lucky love story.

I truly can't wait for everything else to come out. I also wish there was a way like kofi or a kickstarter or patreon or something I could do to support you all! Perhaps there is and perhaps i'm inept at finding it lol.

Much love and support! I have a real question after this one. But this was just an anon love letter to you all.

First of all, we apologize for not responding to your letter for such a long time. Your message warms our souls. It's very important for us to know that there are players like you who have felt our idea and supported it. It is also important for us because we find kindred spirits in this way. Fighting genre stereotypes is much easier when there are those who share our path. Making a guide was a difficult decision for us, but your message confirmed that it was the right decision. We have a patreon you can join if you wish - https://www.patreon.com/degraman Thank you for your words of support and gratitude

[titanomakhea]

ok but irt belos postfinale being the vibe of the roy mustang post

"an irredeemable person living on and devoting themselves to right their wrongs is infinitely more respectable and effective than that person "redeeming" themselves via death without ever doing anything to improve the lives they've ruined"

you have to understand, belos is inherently selfish and prideful. papa titan is right in the sense of belos needs to be the hero of his own story, but the catch with that is he gains gratification most from his own self perception. belos works behind the scenes using his primordial power to repair things, sometimes he'll lifehack things and maybe he'll send some weird omens and people will find things they're looking for- but he's not doing it because he wants others to forgive him.

belos gains that good serotonin from feeling like he's done good work. if you tell him he's done well, either you're stating the obvious which is annoying or you're wrong because your perception of what he's done doesn't match his own-

belos knows that being the person he was when he just wrecked everything on the isles is not a great way to exist. that vibe is bad and so for his own happiness he works to be better. and lucky for everyone else, that "better" lines up with standard morals of self-improvement, but he's not doing it for other people, because belos doesn't do things with other people primarily in mind- he's never been that way, ( even as a human, he was rather selfish, but healthily so? and that will get its own post too- belos as a human vs belos as a primordial ) and he's not going to start putting other people first after 400 years if he wasn't doing that before he had visions from dead gods-

as in, in his mind, belos puts himself first. he's the most important person in his view- rare individuals will be his equals, but he can't imagine someone else having more sway over his actions than himself??? so, basically his path to "redemption" is the most self serving thing ever and it's so on brand for him

[girl4music]

It’s not often said but people-pleasing in itself is really quite a selfish thing because you’re being dishonest about why you’re doing what you’re doing or choosing what you’re choosing. You’re not being transparent about your actions and choices - which is something you would be if you were actually doing it in kindness.

People-pleasing is like dressing up something that should be authentic and organic in self-gratification.

In other words: you’re only doing or choosing it because it ultimately benefits you in the end.

It’s not altruistic.

It’s not self-sacrificial.

It’s not unconditional.

It’s very much selfish.

And it really says something about the world that we live in today that people right from birth are taught to people-please rather than do or choose something in an act of kindness. There’s always an ulterior motive that may not be malevolent, but is still very selfish. The intention may not be to hurt or cause pain and damage in itself but you wouldn’t actually care if it did do that so long as it benefited you in the end. That’s the mindset of a lot of people today and it’s an incredibly toxic and destructive one because it teaches those people to only ever look out for and benefit themselves under the false intention of “helping” others. To please them instead of give. If something is truly done or chosen in kindness then it has none of these conditional connotations attached and it can be just as rewarding if not more this way because it is at it is said: goodness is its own reward.

[kaberriveraltar]

Stand for Something: Building a Life of Purpose and Resilience

In a world filled with distractions, uncertainties, and ever-changing circumstances, it's easy to lose sight of what truly matters. Yet, throughout history, we’ve seen remarkable individuals who, despite overwhelming odds, stood firm in their beliefs, found purpose in their struggles, and transformed the world around them. From civil rights activists like Martin Luther King Jr. to ordinary people who quietly champion causes within their communities, the common thread is clear: they chose to stand for something greater than themselves. They discovered their purpose, and that purpose fueled their resilience.

Consider the story of Malala Yousafzai, who, at the young age of 15, stood up for girls' education in Pakistan, defying the oppressive Taliban regime. Her voice, once silenced by a bullet, became a global call for equality, resilience, and education. Or think of Nelson Mandela, who spent 27 years imprisoned for his unshakable belief in equality and justice. These individuals didn't simply live their lives—they were guided by a deep sense of purpose that allowed them to endure suffering, face adversity, and remain unwavering in their pursuit of something bigger than themselves.

In these stories, we find a universal truth: when we have a guiding purpose, we find the strength to endure, adapt, and ultimately thrive. It is purpose that gives our lives meaning and direction, and it is the bedrock upon which we build our resilience. Without it, life can feel aimless, fragile, and vulnerable to the forces around us.

Personal Reflection: What Do You Stand For?

Now, I invite you to reflect on your own life. What do you stand for? What principles or causes are you willing to fight for, even when the odds are stacked against you? It’s not always easy to pinpoint, and sometimes it takes time to uncover. But think about the moments in your life where you felt truly alive, where you were driven by something larger than yourself. Perhaps it was when you stood up for a friend, fought for a belief you held dear, or worked towards a goal that seemed impossible yet worth pursuing.

But what if you don't have an answer? What if, right now, your life feels like it’s drifting without a clear sense of purpose? It’s not uncommon. Many of us go through life letting circumstances dictate our choices, falling prey to the pull of external expectations rather than internal convictions. Living without purpose can lead to feelings of emptiness, frustration, and, at times, a sense of disconnection from the world around us. Without a firm foundation in our values, we are more vulnerable to the pressures of society, the expectations of others, and the temptations of immediate gratification.

The good news is that it’s never too late to find your purpose, to define what you stand for. The journey of discovering your values and beliefs is one of the most transformative steps you can take toward living a meaningful, impactful life. As you read this book, I challenge you to begin that journey.

The Call to Action: A Journey of Purpose and Commitment

This essay is not just a series of thoughts on philosophy or self-help; it is a call to action. It is an invitation to begin an exploration into the heart of what you believe in, and, more importantly, to make a commitment to stand for something—whether it's in your career, your relationships, or your contributions to the world. By the end of this journey, you will not only have a clearer understanding of who you are, but you will also have the tools and mindset necessary to build a life that is anchored in purpose and guided by resilience.

Throughout the following sections, you will be challenged to reflect, to question, and to confront the deeper truths about your own life. You’ll discover how to define your values, how to align your actions with your beliefs, and how to build resilience in the face of adversity. By standing for something—by making a conscious decision to live according to your values—you will unlock a life of deeper meaning, greater fulfillment, and lasting impact.

Are you ready to take the first step? The journey begins here, and it starts with you. Stand for something. It’s time to build a life of purpose and resilience.

[lebihanto-universe-blog]

Be Irresistible, Click Here jonah hill, boundaries and possessiveness IG: NEW MERCH: ... in light of the recent Jonah Hill controversy and in following a request from a viewer I decided to make a short video on loving without attachment as recognized Hill is engaging in a sort of therapy speak surrounding boundaries this appears to come from a place of possessiveness why does possessiveness occur Eric from notes a sort of love that is developed in modernity love as teamwork where everybody adjusts his behavior to the expressed needs of the other person in the pursuit of common aims modeled after the sort of groups you might encounter in an office space there isn't anything apparently wrong in centering collaboration as the essence of a relationship but this is a naive concept as it fails to account for why we end up in relationships to begin with the neurotic Lover from notes is usually a man who wants to be loved while never having to actually love this sort of childlike State encourages grandiose and romantic visions of their partner they may feel so good about their partner that at first they will display a great deal of charm and affection but there's a significant failure in seeing their partner as a human being with their own agency when they realize that their partner cannot live up to their fantasy their idea of gratification the man may feel deeply hurt and pain in his pain on the idea that his partner is selfish and does not love him pair this with bell Hook's observation that romance is often depicted as a project women are The Architects and the planners namely women are socialized early on to be the givers of love to sacrifice their agency in the hopes of this collaborative project men are generally taught that love is this reward this immediate and sustained high that is received passively that is guaranteed for them if they achieve certain patriarchal standards any extra effort afterwards is taken as a failure on the part of their partner suddenly this love as teamwork idea seems kind of lopsided for men this possessiveness is deeply tied to their identity to be a man is to be loved by a woman and to be loved is to have some sort of power over them boundaries then can be misused as forms of policing and correcting the ways in which their partner is supposed to love them to back up from gender roles in general this possessiveness is deeply tied to our own self-image we do not feel secure in ourselves and so we attempt to own and dominate another in order to regain some security this sort of narcissism does not respect the agency of others and is motivated by one's own desire and fear so long as we depend on another for our psychological well-being intellectually or emotionally that dependents must inevitably create fear from which arises sorrow writes krishnamurti and furthermore any alteration of these dependencies we violently oppose because we depend on them for psychological security to love without attachment is above all else to get over oneself in fact from recognizes the overcoming of one's narcissism as the main condition for the achievement of love in attempting to secure our own self-image through another we create an image or fantasy of that other we imprison them there through manipulation deception and control this is our attempt to possess and we also imprison ourselves in our own narcissism we cut ourselves off from being able to experience true love to abandon the present in order to look for things in the future is to throw away the substance and hold on to the shadow rights tiknot Han what is true love firstly love involves some level of objectivity you need to see people for their own potentialities and your own potentialities rather than the images you have of them this in itself means abandoning oneself prioritization it involves humility and this humility is informed by a significant second face that through recognizing trusting and nurturing you and your partner's potentialities love will

flourish yes boundaries still exist in this state but this comes about through education rather than manipulation by telling them your boundaries you hope that this will also teach you about them and their boundaries and needs and they might not be compatible with yours and here is the crucial and scary part about love without attachment you must be vulnerable to the things you feared that things might not last that people die that feelings change all you can do is have some humility and faith that the learning process itself which is reciprocal will bring love to both notably krishnamurti argues that passion comes through learning rather than through desire or gratification it is within this intense curiosity we have for the other where love emerges and how could we truly know those who we supposedly love if we limit them for our own gratification we must listen without judgment we must love without attachment true love is unconditional write spell hooks but to truly flourish it requires an ongoing commitment to constructive struggle and change foreign [Music] ...

[miss-oranje-disco-dancer]

sincerely, thank you for making me cry (i needed a good one, and god how i loved this). the feeling is so relatable, particularly to a person i used to be (which, of course, still exists within me, even if only as a memory or an influence on the now). the idea of wanting to be wanted so badly that you'll sacrifice yourself for it, for someone who has shown you nothing but indifference at best, but you'll take what you can get.

Not your own memories, but things you’ve read in books and seen in abandoned family photo albums. White wedding dresses, cars that drive, Sunday night family dinner. An American lifestyle that was sucked away with the cordyceps

the specific imagery here made me emotional. whenever ellie would ask about the past in the game, i would start crying like i just can't handle it

he clothes you wear belonged to people before you, the ground you walk on cannot be sold. Maybe in another life this would feel fulfilling,

this is so interesting because (not to get political but i was talking to my mom about how i'd love to move to a commune, but i wouldn't be able to get healthcare which is an essential in my life so :( so like the idea of giving up ownership sounds so freeing to me, but that would be a choice vs reader can't have anything of her own which is so :() i do think it's interesting how reader feels upset by the fact that the clothes were worn by people before, whereas i feel intrigued by the fact that anything i buy second hand was worn by someone else

A heart that thumps in a world of disease, disorder, death. What a weird purity you hold, something you want to ruin. 

the desire to self sabotage is so ... sad, but i understand it for the sake of fitting in

Joel knows greed, remembers the world before.

critique of capitalism??? (love that)

He doesn’t help with any of your wants, your need to own or belong. But Joel shows you what it is to take.

that's such an interesting thing to think about, the way you learn what abuse is after being abused, realizing what your abuser took from you, and yet, not coming out of it with some sort of ability to take or to stop it

 the ache for belonging in the world twisting to a yearning for him to take from you. If you could not belong to this world, if you could not fit, at least you could fulfill him

too real. i remember feeling an odd satisfaction after doing things for my ex (will not get into it as not to possibly trigger) but in a way that you shouldn't feel

You’re not his, never his, just a moment of gratification for his consuming greed.

the way he doesn't even appreciate reader and won't even take her as his because that would be giving her something in a way - my ex once said to me "you are either an asset or a liability (i said 'i don't think of human beings that way)" and he genuinely believed that, so he said he only wanted me to be an asset, and wanted to make sure i was adding rather than taking away, he only wanted me to an extent that i was not burdensome to him. ugh the greatest greed is not even wanting to own.

Purity leaks from you in the form of drool on your chin,

this line caught my attention from my first read-through (have read many times, it's honestly kind of masochistic atp lol). it's interesting in the way that purity is washing over the skin and yet also leaving. it's a taste of it, a memory while it leaves

You blink up at him like he’ll look down, like you’re more than a mouth.

this is where i started crying. i once told my ex 'i feel like i'm a sex doll to you, but i want to be like penelope (from the odyssey)' and then he made me apologize blah blah but it hits is my point

Under the yellow light in Joel’s living room, you feel useful. You’re doing more than surviving in this world

yes. this. i had an identity in being someone's girlfriend. a future as a mother or a housewife as much as i didn't think it was right for me. being useful feels good

“He almost likes me,” your mind whispers, your stomach fluttering, “it’s almost like I belong.”

the almost. the convincing yourself you'll get to the more than almost.

but you think you can taste a hint of belonging each time he spreads your legs. 

interesting to me as he's the one who would theoretically taste if he went down on reader (though it seems he prob doesn't) but in this case it's the opposite. reader cannot have him fully, just a taste.

purpose on earth

summary: joel loves to take, you love to give.

tags: 18+, smut, angst(ish), jackson era!joel, cold!joel, grumpy!joel, innocent!reader, dom!joel, implied age gap (reader doesn't remember pre-outbreak), corruption kink, joel takes your undies, humiliation, oral sex (m!receiving), allusion to thigh riding, a feeling of helpless/hopeless-ness permeates this fic, reader is pretty pathetic, use of "sweet girl", objectification of reader, unrequited obsession, this fic isn't necessarily sexy, just mildly sad.

a/n: i literally wrote this like an hour ago while i was supposed to be outlining my next project, but @hellishjoel told me to listen to my creative demons... so now this is being posted.

(1.1k, just a baby)

Nothing in this world has ever, or will ever, belong to you. Faint memories glaze your mind sometimes, when you lay down to rest. Not your own memories, but things you’ve read in books and seen in abandoned family photo albums. White wedding dresses, cars that drive, Sunday night family dinner. An American lifestyle that was sucked away with the cordyceps, something only they could clear out. The bombs the government used, the ones you can’t remember anymore, they never wiped mother earth clean the way she has done for herself.

She’s infected, and not yours. Nothing outside of Jackson’s walls belongs to your human hands.

You’ve never known ownership. The clothes you wear belonged to people before you, the ground you walk on cannot be sold. Maybe in another life this would feel fulfilling, but something in you wants to know what it is to own, or even fit in. Your skin, flushed and healthy, skin full of life and blood and organs. A heart that thumps in a world of disease, disorder, death. What a weird purity you hold, something you want to ruin. 

A person like you isn’t meant to own anything here. It feels like you have to belong, if you wish to take.

He will do it for you. 

Joel knows greed, remembers the world before. His hands have taken food, land, lives, anything you can imagine. It isn’t something you realistically think about, more infatuated with how he has the ability to do all these things. Not that you hadn’t committed your own sins, but to defend yourself isn’t wrong, at least that’s what he says. Something in Joel smolders the way only a primal fire can, he is from a world whose memory of a flame will extinguish soon.

He doesn’t help with any of your wants, your need to own or belong. But Joel shows you what it is to take.

You don’t understand the fascination he has with you. The memory of the night he first led you back to his house is blurry, a fleeting moment in comparison to what has happened since. There was conversation of music, of you having a tape you wish you could play. 

His hands were slow when they slid your underwear down your legs, you hoped he wasn’t looking. Nothing about you felt sexy or womanly, you felt dwarfed when he was so close. Again, you wished you could belong, so maybe you could hide. There was a stain in the gusset and you remember how he pulled the garment off your ankles when it dangled there.

“Lemme see,” he had demanded, “lemme see what I did t’you.”

Joel had smeared his thumb through the sticky wet mark, huffing in surprise. He knew it was for him, knew there was nothing else that could have made you do that. Humiliated, you had tried to yank back your underwear, but he refused.

“S’mine now,” he laughed, cheeks rosy.

That was the first time Joel took from you. 

Now you seek him, the ache for belonging in the world twisting to a yearning for him to take from you. If you could not belong to this world, if you could not fit, at least you could fulfill him. Joel doesn’t like it when you seek him out too often, hates when others notice it. You’re not his, never his, just a moment of gratification for his consuming greed. 

Once, you waited in the early morning at the stables for him. Crouched near the barn door, you waited and watched the dewy grass grow. The crunch of his boots, the yawn he let out as he passed by you, it was enough. He said nothing to you, took off on his horse with some other man trailing behind him. 

“Joel’s so responsible,” you thought to yourself, “he’ll need me later I bet.”

Of course, he did. You relished in the small victory of him stealing from you again. Purity leaks from you in the form of drool on your chin, when he pulls you off his cock. Joel’s thumbs push the spit back in your mouth and you suck it down willingly. Praise rumbles off his tongue and into your ears, a southern rhythm you find sanctuary in. Pushing his dick back into your mouth is all pleasure to him, but it’s a taste of greed for you. 

“Sweet girl, that’s a good mouth f’me, ain’t it?” Joel asks, head tilting back.

He never takes his pants off, but he strips you naked. His eyes arguably take more than his hands ever will. The bob of his Adam's apple hypnotizes your eyes as you garble a response to his question. Scarcely do you make sense around Joel, or even speak. You don’t think you can remember the last time you held a proper conversation with him, he usually just waits for you to come around.

It all starts the same, standing on his porch and waiting until he opens the door.

“Missin’ me?” He asks every time.

Joel doesn’t miss you, he doesn’t need you. He just likes how much you give. But you miss him, as soon as he pushes you out into the cold again you miss him. His greed is your purpose.

And so with your purpose, you push yourself down to the base of him. The waterline of your eyes is welling up fast, distorting your vision of him. You blink up at him like he’ll look down, like you’re more than a mouth. You aren’t, not to him, but you get to admire him like this. The puff of his chest, the swell of his throat, and his hands when they come to rip you off him.

He never pulls your hair, just grasps your face in his worn-down palms and pushes you away before jerking himself onto your naked body. 

“S’nice, you’re so nice t’me,” he grumbles. 

Under the yellow light in Joel’s living room, you feel useful. You’re doing more than surviving in this world. You have a purpose, even if he seldom needs you. He uses the sleeves of his flannel to wipe away the tears that slide down your cheeks, still mumbling about how sweet you are. Naked, smattered in him, you smile. Glittery eyes meet his and he snorts. 

“You were missin’ me, huh?” He teases. 

Joel rubs his thumb across your cheek again, the closest thing you’ll get to his lips on you. In his post-orgasmic haze, he almost looks fond. 

“He almost likes me,” your mind whispers, your stomach fluttering, “it’s almost like I belong.”

And once you’ve nodded in response to his question, messy mouthed and gazing at him, your purpose, he taps his thigh. Blood rushes to your head as you stand, crawling onto him. 

In your obedient mind, you define your efforts for Joel as a purpose, but you think you can taste a hint of belonging each time he spreads your legs.