#i am putting in the work to get chill with reciprocation bc i am not used to it and wow. wow. this is. very nice.
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About to hand weave this man a potion carrying pouch in his character colors. I was already thinking about it. And then was like no. It's too early. I'll just give him a bit of the yarn my pouch is woven out of that I hypothetically would use as one of the components as a favor to wear for the tournament. I will be normal. So normal.
AND THEN HE GAVE ME A HANDMADE POTION CARRYING POUCH IN HIS BLUE THIS MAN MATCHED MY FREAK AND I TEMPORARILY SCALED BACK
gonna stay at 100% freak going forward
#faer personal files#i am about to get so so sappy in the tags#i am typing this bc i started setting up my loom and then i was like wait i need sleep#i literally have dnd in the morning#augh#it is immune to boyfriend curse bc 1. he did not request it 2. it is a surprise and 3. i am weaving not knitting 4. im not a girl#oh 5 he's not even technically my boyfriend yet#i also want to flex. like even when he is at events i am not at i want people envying his custom hand woven pouch and him to be like thanks#my partner made it for me <3#man cannot hand me a mace and a cool heraldic item and expect me to not want everyone to know he is loved#he's gonna have to get used to it. not saying i love you yet you know what i mean.#idk. i like him so much. i like who he is i like how he is and i like that he actually has room for me in his head#i like being looked at without feeling sliced in two. even i can't always do that when i look in the mirror.#i like when he smiles. i like when he looks a little surprised about how delighted i am by him but i'm gonna like it even more when#the surprise settles down bc he feels secure in how much i like him#i wanna make him worse i want to give him an ego i want to make him better i want him to love himself so much#i love getting 3 am goodnight texts bc he was working on his art i love sending those i was in an art hole text now i must sleep texts#a good 6 hours earlier lol and having him be just as hyped i love talking to him i love his smile so much#i am putting in the work to get chill with reciprocation bc i am not used to it and wow. wow. this is. very nice.#my knight
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Also!!!! I'd never seem this before but BAZAAR THOUGHTS.... aaaaaaaa
It sounds so tired. Sick of being a Courier. Wants a home.
he's lonely :(
I mean yeah. We been knew but. Poor sad crab
the bazaar.... (<- I think this often). Curled up under the blankets shivering... If you're cold they're cold: steal a city
I think this is the only mention of the sun being "cruel, furious, rejecting" about whatever the Bazaar's line-crossing was. I've long thought it was a confession of Love— naming feelings that can never be true, asking the sun for more than it can give. reciprocation.
the bazaar likes breaking into people's basements to steal their snacks: confirmed.
#Mask of the rose spoilers#Fallen london spoilers#Holds back on very long discussion of what I think the sun rejection might be if you want to read it as. No. Wait.#Look the sun Cruel and Furious is like. I think only hard mention of the sun being really upset at the bazaar about the Line#Betwixt us and the Sun is why i think the turning point was a confession of Love. I think they had a... what do people say now Situationshi#The bazaar in LOVE but the sun not expressing it back. The bazaar decides to confess and asks for reciprocation. The Sun grows angry#You can interpret that pretty directly as the sun being an asshole or simply using the bazaar. But it's notable that the Bazaar is fine#Depressed but fine. As in Judgements are NOT merciful chill guys generally and the bazaar crossed a line and lives#The bazaar in fact worked for the sun afterwards totally chill beyond being sad. There's no suggestion of punishment only rejection#That seems to suggest some level of. Something for the bazaar from the sun right. Bc why not kill or erase its mind? But it didn't#Let us note the sun could be simply a dick and move on. Another read: their relationship is forbidden whatever it is#Acknowledging it as love. As real. Makes it real. Correspondence is truth and dictates reality. The Sun confessing would make it more True#And if their relationship is discovered at all the sun bazaar and stone will be put on trial and into some torment nexus#....with the bazaar wanting a home and not to be a courier it also supports my theory the bazaar wants ascension#Sudden wash of sunlight suggests that to me. This does too.#Also yeah I think the sun could have rejected the bazaar and immediately sent a love letter to another star to like. Make a point#SEE. I am a star I can only love stars! You are not a star!! (And then gets rejected immediately)
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Thinking of You - June 🤞 2024 - Cancer
Whole of their energy towards Cancer: Page of Pentacles
In the preshuffle I saw a break between you and this person, and the sentiment that you’d like to work things out and move forward, but that they’re a “my way or the highway” sort of person, very arrogant, bossy and demanding - and you can’t really work with that, can you? I’m not seeing the same cards here, but I am seeing Marionette, which shows you feeling controlled by them. If you speak your mind or try to bring resolution, you’re dealing with someone who is going to act out and “punish” you for doing so. Is that who they are or this specific situation, idk, I find it hard to believe this behavior can only be one situation, yanno? So that’s for you to chew on.
I do see them wanting to apologize for whatever has happened, two cards showing an apology here, and it may be a message - along with something. Doing you a favor, offering you something, a gift, some kind of tangible thing you can see or touch. This isn’t over.
Feelings: Death rev
See? Not over. Not to them. This would also indicate there’s been no *real* action taken. So if you live together, they may not be speaking but they’re one room away and don’t intend on actually going anywhere. No effort being made to leave, but there’s no conversation telling you how they feel either - and an apology is pending but not reality, yet.
Intentions: The Moon
Whatever your issue is, they don’t really understand - so them apologizing is kinda pointless but they know it’s what you want and what they have to do to get back into your good graces. Do they mean it? No, not really, they don’t even know what they did wrong. They’re afraid of losing you though. The Hanged Man rev clarifies as like…an *inability* to see outside of their own perspective. They literally can’t. Maybe you went silent and didn’t tell them why you’re upset. The Devil rev is positive though, sorta. Do they have good intentions - yes. Do they have any idea how to fix the problem you have without knowing what that is - no. If you would consider them or something they’ve done/said as toxic, they don’t know that or have no idea how to change it.
Actions: The Fool
They’re just gonna YOLO it, they’re coming back around to try and talk to you, butter you up. Maybe offer you something. Cook you dinner. Take you out. Anything, but again there’s some kind of gift or tangible thing involved. That’s their thing. They want the stress to end, don’t like not speaking, they just want everything to get better and today we start over. Everything is fixed now. I can’t see your perspective with that but that’s their perspective. You’re seeing manipulative and I’m just seeing clueless. Could be, you’d know best.
Messages:
Their side:
- OBSESSED 🤩
- Boujee
Your side:
- Marriage Material 💍
- Honest!
Possible signs:
Heavy Pisces, Gemini & Virgo
If you’re dealing with:
Temperance shows a chill month with calm and balanced interactions - or that’s the goal. 10 Swords rev underneath could be like playing damage control or trying to put the pieces back together after a difficult situation you or others have endured - which you’re doing successfully. At least you’re not drama, but you can’t help what other people do ���♂️
Aries - doesn’t come around or make an effort because they don’t see the potential of it going anywhere positive
Taurus - can’t continue moving in a new direction bc they can’t break free from something old
Gemini - there’s unfinished business and a lot of healing that needs to take place here 🤕
Cancer - a secret or hidden information coming out makes the decision they weren’t actively trying to make before - now they can’t
Leo - feels abandoned by you, like you aren’t giving what they are and that the connection isn’t reciprocated, could be financially
Virgo - moving forward in a positive direction, both of you are creating exactly what you want
Libra - quitting something, could happen very quickly
Scorpio - defending flirtatious behavior because they will die being “right” - or switch it - someone isn’t interested in the other’s perspective
Sagittarius - done talking to or having anything to do with you, could be a person firing you - or they’re just…a harsh, sharp talker, greedy, time is money and they’re being rude or calling you out - or switch it 😬
Capricorn - confused about what the decision to make is - regarding everything in their life
Aquarius - cutting through delusion and bs, it would be silly to try and come at them any way but *logical*, if it’s a romantic thing, they think you’re full of bologna or starry eyed over nothing
Pisces - if you’re waiting for this person to grow up, enjoy waiting forever, your version of grow up will never be their reality - 3 Wands rev indicates never
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ALLO FRIEND UP FOR THE TASK. VERY CHILL AND NORMAL ABOUT THINGS, WILL NOT BITE. WHAT IS THE TASK?
-milk w/ honey anon
HI. IM PUTTING IT UNDER THE CUT BC OMG TOBIN SHOWING EMOTIONS 💔💔 idc if anyone reads it its just me talking about some guy I like tho so idk how interesting that could be but here we go ^_^
Ok SO. theres this guy. ive known him for a few years, we became friends a yesr and a half ago but not close friends or anything. like august this year suddenly we become more of Actual Friends not just people who sit together at lunch bc 90% of the other kids are mean
so then the timeline from there goes
-> mid october: i spend like 2 hours alone w him and we talk not just jokes for the first time & realize well Oh Shit. I Really Like Him
-> late october: we go for a walk together but neither of us want to leave so we end up going to the farmers market, getting ice cream, window shopping, and finally getting dinner together before we leave because we’re scared our cars are going to be towed. which was 6 hours total instead of just a small walk. with no shortage of things to talk about we are both sad to leave
-> november: basically i just supress everything and tell myself im making it up. but i am still undeniably fond of this Damn Guy. we become a little closer still
-> mid december: (finals week) out of NOWHERE this whole things goes from being able to be chalked up to “we’re becoming better friends!!” to hes complimenting me incessantly. hes showing up in my study halls to distract me from working and walking me to class & hes sitting next to me every time he can and every group setting we’re only looking at each other across fhe whole circle and hes standing next to me and tucking things into my hat and laughing fondly and WHERE did that come from
and then we went to break and yaknow. i saw him once last week but it was in a group & my best friend was there and i got distracted reminiscing with her. then earlier this we i went rollerskating with him + another friend of ours but hes like A Rollerskating Guy. hes good at it he was showing off 😭 and i am not. im just skating circles. so we weren’t skating together or anything but he would still very obviously be keeping tabs on me which was sweet (if i got off the rink he’d be there a few minutes later to keep me company and stuff, very kind of him). so we are not at that stage of oh holy Shit why is every conversation with this guy ending in mutual fond smiles and barely meeting each other’s eyes. BUT ITS STIL LIKE. ? YOURE NOT LIKE THIS.
like for context this is like. he is a shut-in total introvert. it took him over a year to talk to me like at all. and we go from that to THIS? like tons of affection for no reason? which he just. does not do to people? (And I dont do either?). like the context here is that while i may be loud (at least irl) i am NOT affectionate i am NOT anything like that. i joke around and thats all!!! and hes quiet and not affectionate and honestly just doesnt talk about himself much in general except for with me. SO IT MAKES ME WONDER.
im like 80% sure he likes me becuase Um thats not behavior a cishet boy exhibits If he doesn’t like you. and yes im in love with a cishet boy its complicated. but like,, how am i supposed to go from “i think thisis flirting” to “flirting” or just to “asking this guy out.” bc NEITHER OF US WANT TO MAKE THE JUMP. unless he made the flirting jump and im just really bad at reciprocating. im confused <3 thank u milk w honey ily. what r ur thoughts
#TLDR IS LIKE. WE ARE BOTH VERY FOND OF EACH OTHER AT THE VERY LEAST. now how do i make him my boyfriend.#ask#milk w honey anon#thank u for listening to meeee <3
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I’ve received enough salty feedback on this that I do want to say something, so here are my thoughts, take them or leave them. And please feel free to continue sharing your thoughts with me bc obvs there is a big chance that I am actually just wrong about all this! 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
I guess it boils down to how I just don’t really think they’re at a point where their behavior is dictated by ours. They control what they share. This is far from their first rodeo, and if they didn’t want us to know anything about their trip, they wouldn’t have posted a literal video from inside the literal villa or uploaded a number of pics from all over the resort.
I’m not particularly concerned about people knowing the amount they spent on the trip bc…that doesn’t feel like information worth protecting. Like, oh no, now we know they’re super rich? In my eyes, that’s very ok.
And I don’t think they’re particularly concerned if we know they share a room/bed/went on a romantic getaway. There’s been zero effort to imply they don’t share a bedroom in their current home, and they posted a romantic ass photoset from their trip.
I don’t think their relationship with us is one where they’re consciously thinking “oh, we can trust them now, they’re chill and have proven they’re worthy,” or “oh no, they’re being weird again, we better stop sharing things.” I don’t think it’s some parental give/take dynamic. They share information about their lives on their own terms. Right now, they are clearly curating a fan experience that is built on our attachment to their chemistry, connection, history, and relationship. I believe they are sharing more partly because they know we eat it the fuck up and it generates more interest and a stronger investment in them. (And yes, also because I’m sure it’s so liberating to finally feel comfortable and in control enough over your own life to be able to openly love your partner in public just as much as you always have in private, and that is such a beautiful thing that we get to witness.)
They very consciously chose to share about this romantic getaway with us. I don’t think they’re suddenly going to stop doing that because of posts like mine, bc I don’t think it works that way. I just don’t think it’s a reciprocal thing as such. We’re the grabby-hands audience, and they place things in front of us. Sometimes they interact with us (in a safe manner under their terms), but mostly our lives and their lives are very much Separate and our conversations online are pretty removed from what they do and what they feel comfortable putting out there.
That is my opinion. I am not them, obviously, so maybe it is wrong. But that is how I feel.
Again, I am not remotely interested in ever jeopardizing their safety or privacy. Finding out info about a hotel stay when they’re back in their own country doesn’t feel invasive to me. A pal on here told me they felt a more accurate term might be “nosey” and I agree! I’m incessantly nosey, overly invested, and curious. It seems that some feel it’s an invasion of privacy, and I get that. I’d just reiterate that they’re aware they have a heavily parasocial fan base who is super invested in their relationship. Even with that awareness, they shared a bunch of romantic vacation photos with said fan base. I think they were aware some people might figure out where they stayed, and I think that’s okay. That’s all I’ve got for now. 💖
Not to go full demon but I found where they stayed and I have some insights….
1. If they were there 5 nights, they spent between $15,000-20,000 total usd ‼️‼️‼️
2. The place is primarily designed for couples. Words used to describe it frequently include “romantic,” “discreet,” “secluded,” “intimate”
3. Every villa on the property only has one bedroom with one king bed. If you need another bed in your space (i.e. if you bring a child), they will bring a single-sized rollaway type bed to you. One reviewer mentioned how the staff would literally remove the single bed each day for the aesthetics and then bring it back at night.
Sooooooooo they balled out on SUCH a bougie, romantic, secluded getaway. And then they shared it with us!! 🥺🥺🥺
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A Favor: Part Twenty-Three
Nessian Modern AU
Masterlist
a/n: so yeah this isn’t my best work bc i havent been feeling great lately but i hope you guys can stay patient with me until i get my shit together. we’re almost to the end🤞
***
Sitting crammed between Elain and Feyre on the gray couch in Lana’s office, Nesta has to cross her legs prettily and pretend she doesn’t want to peel out of her skin right there. She doesn’t know what she was thinking when she invited her sisters to one of her therapy sessions, but she’s assuming it would be considered rude to kick them out now.
“Who wants to speak first?” Lana’s bob swings as she looks at each of them. The office is ice cold today, and Feyre and Elain’s presence doesn’t help the chill in the air.
Nesta crosses her arms before she can be asked to speak. “No, thank you,” she says. She knows everyone probably expects better from her, but no way in hell is she going to be the first to open up in front of this crowd. “Feyre,” she turns to her youngest sister instead, “why don’t you say something?”
“Actually, why don’t you set the example, Nesta?” Lana gives her a look, making her cheeks redden with irritation.
“Fine,” Nesta grumbles. She clears her throat. “As you can see, I have made moves to reconnect with my sisters. I invited them here because I hoped that therapy would bring us closer and also make them more… tolerable.”
Elain coughs, “Bitch.”
Nesta smiles tightly. “Elain could especially use this, I think.”
Lana is already frowning. She never frowns this early into a session. “We’ll start with an easy question, then. What’s been on your mind lately, Nesta?”
Nesta purses her lips, pretending to think. “Nothing important. I’m looking at jobs for the summer. I think Azriel keeps sneaking money into my purse, and it’s starting to become more than a little condescending. I caught up with some friends from school, and I was polite enough to pay for lunch.” She mentions off to the side to Elain, “Lucien was there, too.”
“Why would I care?” Elain sneers. She spies Lana’s disapproving look and lowers her head demurely. “Sorry,” she murmurs.
“That’s alright,” Lana says. “Why don’t you go next?”
“Me?” Elain’s head snaps up, and Nesta holds in her snicker.
“Start by describing your relationship with Nesta. I heard you two used to be very close.” Lana uncaps her pen, preparing to write.
Elain flushes lightly and folds her hands. “That was when we were children. The only thing keeping us together was that we shared a home. When we stopped living in the same place, some of us had no problem leaving others in the dust.”
“You can use my name,” Nesta rolls her eyes, “I’m right here.”
From the corner of her vision, Feyre cringes.
“Are you saying you feel abandoned by Nesta?” Lana continues probing.
Elain’s answering silence tells more than enough. Therapy must actually be paying off, though, because Nesta only thinks about interrupting and defending herself for a second before shaking it off. Her mind focuses on the word abandonment instead.
Lana is focusing on the same thing, because she leans closer and says, “Being abandoned bothers you?”
“I never said that,” Elain says indignantly.
“It would bother most people.”
Nesta watches Elain sigh and blink her big doe eyes at Lana. She’s always been able to use those eyes on anybody for anything. “I just don’t understand why I’m the villain for expecting a little loyalty,” Elain says sweetly. “Especially when you take a look at this face.” She cups her round cheeks. “You know psychology. How could you abandon this face?”
Nesta’s jaw hangs open. “Are we still talking about me?” She remembers Cassian telling her the story behind Azriel ghosting Elain, and a pang of guilt and pity hits her. She still hasn’t talked with Elain about why Azriel left Velaris, and she knows she won’t be able to decide whether to spare Az or not until she does.
“So that’s my turn,” Elain finishes up. “Feyre can go next.”
Lana is writing something sharply on her notepad, but she nods coolly. “Feyre, how would you describe your relationship with your sisters?”
“Oh, we don’t have time for all of that,” Feyre laughs awkwardly and waves a hand.
Nesta agrees, but the look Lana gives Feyre tells her that yes, they do have time.
Gulping, Feyre glances around. “Well, I was born last, so I guess that made me the outsider of the family. I never had much in common with my sisters, but now that we’re older I… hoped that we would grow past that.”
Translation: she hoped that once she found her happy ending in Rhysand’s arms, poor little Nesta and Elain would happily assimilate into her new community of wealthy friends, putting the cherry on top of her perfect life. And while Elain did that exact thing, it’s always bothered Feyre that Nesta won’t do the same.
Feyre continues, “I admit I’m not the best at understanding Nesta. Elain and I get along fine now, but Nesta…” Feyre meets her eyes. “It’s like nothing we do is enough for her, but for some reason I can’t stop trying.”
“Whose fault is that?” Nesta mutters.
“You want her approval,” Lana hums, taking notes.
“Is that what it is?” Feyre looks away.
Nesta refrains from saying yes, that’s exactly what it is, and it’s not my problem if you keep looking for something I can’t give.
“What are your feelings about that, Nesta?” Lana turns her focus to her. “Remember that this is a safe space.”
It really isn’t, not with two siblings holding long term grudges against Nesta. But once and for all, she’s going to set the record straight. “I spent most of my life being a bad sister.” Nesta’s voice is apathetic, straightforward. “I let Feyre take the burden of providing for us even though I was the oldest, and I didn’t know how to be anything other than cruel to my family. So once I had the means to do so, I cut everyone off for all of our sakes. I still don’t regret it, because being a stranger is better than being a bad sister.”
In that way, Nesta is a bit like her mother. Nesta was angry after her death, but she knows she would have been even angrier if Magdalene Archeron had lived and continued to be a disappointing parent. In that way, both of them are wise for leaving their families when they did.
“Or you could just be a good sister,” Elain interrupts with a drawl.
Nesta smirks bitterly at her. “I’d rather die.”
Feyre takes in a breath. “Why? Why are you like that with us?” She blinks furiously, and Nesta can see the simmer of her emotions. “It was okay when we thought you hated everybody, but you don’t. You only hate me and Elain.”
Nesta looks to Lana for help, but her therapist is sitting this one out. She sighs through her nose. “I don’t hate you,” she says, even though they might never understand. The next line comes with great difficulty. “I’ve loved you since before I even knew what love was. But I don’t like you very much, Feyre, and you don’t like me, either. Please stop trying to change that.”
When she finally meets Feyre’s eyes, though, they’re glimmering with tears. “How can I stop trying to change that?” Feyre whispers. “How can I give up on us like that?”
For Nesta to give Feyre and Elain the relationship they want from her would require nothing but lies on her part. And as much as she wishes she was capable of lying about this, she can’t do it.
Looking away and down at her hands, Nesta mutters, “It’s not fun for me either, but it’s how I am. I can’t be easy or friendly with you. I hate watching you try to make me be easy or friendly.”
Nobody says anything to that, but when Nesta looks up again Lana gives her a remote nod that Feyre and Elain don’t catch. Thank you for your vulnerability, it says.
“You said something interesting, Nesta,” Lana breaks the silence. “Did you see your sisters as your responsibility to raise?”
Nesta shrugs. “I was the oldest,” she repeats.
“Your father was the oldest.”
“He wouldn’t do shit even if you held a gun to his head, so I was up next.” Though Nesta hadn’t done shit either. Neither had Elain, but the rules have always been different for her. Elain redeems herself to others by handing out sunny smiles and pretending to have the intelligence of a fawn.
Lana stares at Nesta until Nesta’s skin starts to heat. “What?” she says defensively.
Ignoring the other two women in the room, Lana leans forward. “You told me once early into our relationship that part of the reason you left Tennessee was to get away from your sisters. You said you were heartbroken when they ended up following you here.”
Nesta doesn’t breathe or look to see her sisters’ reactions.
“Now I’m going to ask: did you really want to get away from your sisters, or did you want to escape the feeling of failing them?”
Nesta doesn’t know how to answer, because to her they might as well be the same thing. Having Feyre and Elain around is like having a weight tied to her chest. The lingering guilt every time Feyre is in a room, her existence screaming I’m the reason you’re still alive. Elain’s constant expectations of unconditional support and loyalty, whether it’s reciprocated or not. It’s all so heavy. And it all goes back to the fact that the three of them were once just helpless children.
If she couldn’t take care of her sisters, how is she supposed to take care of any child, ever?
Nesta releases a weary sigh. “You’re going to bring this up the next time we have the baby talk, aren’t you?”
Lana’s eyes sparkle. “Don’t get ahead of yourself just yet.” But Nesta can see from where she sits that her therapist’s notepad is covered in bullet points.
***
“I need to use the bathroom.” Feyre is hopping back and forth on her feet once the session is over. “You guys head down to the parking lot without me.” She exits in a rush, leaving the two sisters alone. Nesta hisses in frustration, nearly chasing after Feyre so she won’t have to face the inevitable awkward conversation with Elain.
By the end of the session, it was Elain that broke and pleaded with Nesta, “Don’t do everything we want, then. Just keep doing better, the way you’ve already been doing. I’ll be happy with just that.”
Nesta was surprised that Elain had even noticed her efforts, but she retorted, “And how do you plan to do better?”
To which Elain twirled her hair and murmured something halfheartedly about, “I might be more open to taking criticism or whatever.”
Though it was the absolute bare minimum, it was still a relief for Nesta to hear Elain admit that she has flaws worth criticizing.
Now, Nesta clutches the straps of her purse and turns for the stairwell leading to the parking lot. Elain follows without comment.
Inside the stairwell, Nesta asks, “Have you spoken to Azriel since he left Velaris?”
Elain looks surprised at the sudden question, and doesn’t remember to be guarded when she answers, “No. Why?”
Nesta shrugs, her heels thumping loudly on the linoleum stairs. “Because I know what happened between you two. I know why he left.”
Elain halts midstep, grabbing Nesta’s arm and turning to face her with wide eyes. “What do you mean, you know? He told you?”
“He told Cassian, and Cassian told me.” Nesta hardly cares that she’s being a poor friend to Azriel by spilling all this to Elain, and continues, “If I had known he was such a coward, I would have kicked him out of our place a long time ago… but I figured I would get your input on it first.”
She’s never seen Elain look so genuinely pleading before. “Get my input on what?” Elain breathes. “What did he say about me? Was it something I did?”
At that torn face that borders on heartbroken, Nesta decides that she’ll do more than kick Azriel out of the cabin. She’ll kick him off the whole mountain.
She shoves Elain’s back to get Elain detached from her and moving down the stairs again, and as they walk, Nesta spills everything she knows. She tells Elain about Rhysand’s talent of shoving his nose into places it doesn’t belong, and how one conversation with him managed to convince Azriel to ditch Elain for good. She tells her about how instead of having a straightforward conversation with Elain, Azriel chose to leave the city and hide out in the mountains like a pussy. She might sound blunt, but Elain needs blunt. She needs to know the unfiltered truth of things.
By the time they reach the floor where their cars are parked, Elain is silent. “Did he really say that?” she finally asks quietly. “He said he wants me to hate him?”
“That’s what I heard.” After a moment, Nesta feels the need to add, “You should hate him, though. He fucked up bad.”
When Elain continues strolling for their cars without replying, concern bites at Nesta. “You are mad at him, right? And mad at Rhysand? You’re not going to forgive them, right?”
“I’m not a total pushover,” Elain snaps. She stares at the cement ground as they walk. “I’m just… more disappointed than anything else. He gave up so easily.” She chuckles without humor. “It sounds like he was looking for an excuse to get away from me.”
Nesta frowns. “I don’t think he would’ve spent so long moping around our house if he wanted to leave you.” Though they can never truly know what Azriel was thinking or feeling until he grows a pair and talks to Elain. Still, she shudders at having to defend him.
“I take it he doesn’t mope anymore?” Elain says.
Nesta doesn’t know how to answer that truthfully. She knows there’s more to Azriel than he lets her and Cassian see, and she knows he’s gotten better at keeping his feelings to himself. So she says, “It looks like he’s doing better, but I really don’t know.” They reach Elain’s car.
“Were you in love with him?” Nesta suddenly asks. Or worse, is she still in love with him?
Elain digs around for her keys in her purse. “You know how I am. Of course I was.”
“Not anymore, though?”
Elain looks up, keys now in hand. “It’s hard to still feel love for someone I haven’t talked to in two months.”
Then it wasn’t real love. Nesta is relieved, even though it doesn’t change the fact that Elain is hurting either way.
Elain jabs her keys at Nesta and says sharply, “Don’t you dare punish him for what he did. That’s for me to decide on.”
Nesta’s brow creases in refusal. “I’ll do what I need to do, and you do you.” She’ll have to be careful with her plotting, though, considering Azriel is Cassian’s brother.
“No.” Elain surprises Nesta with the force in her tone. “He’s your roommate and your friend. Keep treating him like it.”
Elain makes it sound easier than it is, and Nesta wants to argue until she sees Feyre heading down the parking lot toward them. “Fine,” she grumbles halfheartedly.
Elain gives her one final long look, not of threat but something else. “Thank you—for inviting us today.” That’s all she says before getting in the driver’s seat of her little red car. At the same time, Feyre catches up to them.
“Where are you parked?” Feyre pants as she approaches Nesta. She sounds a bit out of breath, like she ran to get here before Nesta could drive off alone.
Nesta points down the lot to where her scrappy old car is waiting for her, and Feyre straightens up with a grim smile. “I’ll walk you.”
Nesta knows that arguing isn’t worth it, so she allows Feyre to trail her the rest of the way to her car. Once they reach the old thing, Nesta gives a curt goodbye and heads straight for the driver’s door. Before she can touch the handle, Feyre attacks her from behind with a hug.
“Get off me, freak!” Nesta tries to jostle her way out of Feyre’s arms. She tries being nice to her sisters one time and this is what she gets—
Feyre only squeezes her tighter. “You don’t have to hug back. Just let me love you my way.”
Nesta squirms for another second before stilling. Swallowing tightly, she stares at the reflection of herself and Feyre in the car door window. One of her hands goes to where Feyre’s hands are clasped around her stomach, and she stands there without moving. She can’t remember the last time she shared affection with a family member like this, but it must have been before their mother died.
The warmth at Nesta’s back doesn’t leave, like Feyre is trying to pour all her understanding into the hug. Silently saying, I’m finally starting to get it.
In a way, Nesta is starting to get it, too. After all, how do sisters with such a complicated history begin to forgive each other?
Not by apologizing, but by doing better in the future.
***
On her way home, Nesta remembers at the last minute to stop by Gwyn’s apartment to pick up one of her sweaters. She doesn’t know when Gwyn started raiding her closet like it was a free mall, but she has a school event next week and doesn’t plan on letting her nicest clothes rot at Gwyn’s forever.
Nesta enters using the key beneath the doormat, knowing Gwyn is at work and won’t mind her stopping by. She scans the living and dining areas for a glimpse of brown cashmere, but only finds scattered books and a disorganized mess. Her fingers twitch with the urge to stop and tidy up the place, but she continues hunting for the sweater. Gwyn promised it would be waiting in plain sight for her.
Realizing the scatter-brained girl probably forgot to put the sweater out for her, Nesta pauses in the hallway leading to Gwyn’s bedroom and bites her lip. She doesn’t know if bedrooms are off limits or not, considering how often Gwyn and Emerie have barged into hers, but she knows she doesn’t want to make a second trip here just for a sweater.
Without giving it further thought, she strides into Gwyn’s room—
And yelps to find Gwyn on the bed.
Except she isn’t alone, and there’s definitely another body under the dark green blanket with her, and whoever it is definitely has their head between her legs.
Nesta spins away at the same time she hears Gwyn’s cry of surprise. She braces one hand against the doorjamb and presses the other to her freezing cold face, not having any words for what she just saw.
“Nesta?” Gwyn calls from behind her. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Um, have you seen my sweater? It’s the expensive one.” She’ll just grab it and leave. Or maybe she’ll just leave—yes, that sounds like a good idea.
“Nesta?” a new, deeper voice repeats.
Gwyn hisses, and Nesta freezes because she recognizes that voice. She wants to be wrong so badly, but she has to whirl back around to confirm for herself.
“Azriel?”
***
a/n: i decided to cut this chapter short and add an extra one to flesh out my silly little gwynriel subplot. so if there’s anything specific or random you wanna see happen in the next chapter tell me bc i might have space for prompts!!
tagging: @hellasblessed @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @wannawriteyouabook a favor: @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson @planet-faerie @shallowhighwaters @ghostlyrose2 @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens @rarephloxes @readiajin @nessiantrashh @live-the-fangirl-life @ifinallygavein @xoblivisci @sjmships @jungtaekwoonie-is-life @lysandra-tiara @lanyjoy-13 @frosted-crackers @post-it-notes33 @loosingdreams @fromthelibraryofemilyj @18moneytoad @dontgetsalmonella @champanheandluxxury @togreblog @arinbelle @ladygabrielli1997 @meridainthedisneyland @moodymelanist @pixieelea
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I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO REITERATE SOMETHING
Yes, let’s circle back to the beautiful performance of Edge of Great. More specifically the BODY LANGUAGE, particularly Julie and Luke’s, which I will be analyzing with gifs.
Exhibit A
Jealous Luke looks over at Julie and Reggie vibing
Julie is aware that she’s avoiding Luke, which she is doing so bc she realized her feelings for him thanks to Flynn earlier in the episode.
Since Julie has put the task of ignoring Luke upon herself even though she has no obligation to, she ends up failing her own mission. She sees Luke’s reaction to the lack of her attention.
She literally FREEZES. She’s emotionally worried to confront what she’s feeling and it’s beginning to manifest physically.
Exhibit B
It gets better y’all. After Luke finally has even a crumb of Julie’s attention, he beckons her over with his signature head tilt. This is important bc he did this with his longtime bandmate during the soundcheck of what would’ve been their biggest performance. If he feels comfortable enough using that body language with a girl he’s only known for, what, a week and a half(?) then you know this puppy boy’s got it BAD.
Julie is well aware that Luke is getting jealous. But in classic Julie fashion, she will try to tune it out instead of addressing it. Our wicked beauty doesn’t like confrontation and would rather just deny and avoid than potentially make things awkward, especially when she knows Luke would ask her about it at a later time.
The look on Julie’s face. Her eyes widen and the classic tight-lipped awkward smile is present. She’s literally saying “ok enough of that let’s get back to work doo doo doo” with her face. The way her body SWINGS back into performance mode as she faces the audience again. It may have been a split second, but when you’re deliberately trying to avoid looking into the dreamy (dead) eyes of someone you shouldn’t be crushing on, any amount of time feels too long. Plus, she knows Flynn is watching and doesn’t want her to lecture her (but she does anyway bc Flynn is observant and knows her bestie too well to let any action slip past her).
Exhibit C
Keep in mind; NONE OF THE GUYS KNOW WHY JULIE IS AVOIDING LUKE. Flynn, Alex, and Reggie have noticed the Juke chemistry, but it’s still too soon for them to get past the “we like each other but we’re too clueless to notice that we reciprocate” phase, so even though their respective besties know, they are still denying. Besides, Reg, Alex, and Flynn know better than to keep pestering if they want to keep their kneecaps. In reality they’re both smart enough to tell by this point, but for the sake of the plot and to make everything more adorably frustrating, Flynn has the collective brain cell under lock and key, leaving Juke to be like *dog tilting its head and making that “a-roo?” noise*
Anyway, Reggie notices Luke being snubbed after realizing that his extra dose of Julie time was slightly out of the ordinary. Luke is clearly concerned (look at his eyebrows and how his eyes travel from Reggie, to Julie, then to the audience to trying and get his mind off it and bring his focus back to the main goal; the performance.) If he can’t have the moment of connection with Julie that he so desperately craves, he’s gonna fill that void as best he can by connecting with the audience. >:’)
But Reggie’s trying to help Luke brush it off by conveying his reaction as ‘look at julie coming into her own! i told you she was a star! and you thought you were the lead singer? think again buddy this girl’s got you beat!’
But since Reggie isnt a master at hiding his feelings yet, especially around Luke, —who was able to get under his skin earlier (“girls, am i right?”)—Luke was easily able to see through that and interpreted what Reggie was saying as “look at julie go, she all in the zone. you’re literally making heart eyes at her get a grip you’re slacking lmao” (hence luke’s right eyebrow quirking at reggie like ‘dude seriously gimme a break u know i need attention like tinkerbell’) even though Reggie’s true message was a bit less harsh and more lovingly teasing, but it’s Luke, he sees things through his eyes and at his intensity, regardless of who it’s coming from. (This is one of the reasons why Luke comes off as selfish at times.)
Exhibit D
Poor Lukey boi can’t seem to catch a break today! Not only does Julie ignore him, then has a cute lil (platonic but it’s luke so it still makes him jealous >:P) moment, but now she has the AUDACITY to interact with Alex? The guy who was out learning Ghost 101 with this Willie guy instead of rehearsing with the band? What gives?! What’s he got that your moody ghost bf doesn’t? >:’(
He literally just watches, and even glances back in a way that, to me, screams ‘did i see that right? did i just see what i just saw with my own dreamy (but dead) eyes? say sike rn.’ \_(*_*)_/
Meanwhile, Alex pays no mind. I like to think that Alex is fully aware that Luke is an angry boy rn, but has learned to ignore it, especially this bc literally NOTHING happened. Either that or Alex has no clue and just truly thinks nothing of it and is having too much fun to think about Luke’s moody and childish behavior. Either way, Alex is just straight chilling and we love to see it *^_^*
Notice how Reggie is right there vibing with Julie and Alex. Luke feels a bit betrayed like ‘not you too! i know you were the first to turn on me but i figured since you’re such a golden retriever you’d be loyal and come back to my side!😠🥲’
Also; Luke approaches the rest of the group, wanting to be included in at least SOME of the vibing, but when Julie starts dancing and smiling with her buddy Alex, he backs up like
“you know what? nope. nevermind. not doin’ it.”
and the group’s like “i mean hey it’s your loss, but luke we want you to-”
“no, bc you chose to piss me off right in front of my face so no luke time for any of you! no cuddles, no hugs, no nothing! you made your bed, now lie in it and perish.”
Exhibit E & F: This is where it gets a bit interesting and theorized hehe...
Now we all know that this moment is just fucking ICONIC
WEOWH NEOW NEOW!!! WEOW NEHR NEHR NER-NER-NER NEHR NEHR NEOWHR!!! (wer nehr-nehr-ner-ner-nehr-nehr!!) WUEHNER-NEUHNER-NEHR-NEEOW-NEOWH! DLOOLOODDUH-DOODLAH-HOOBLUEH-NEOWHR-NEUEHR-NEEEEEEUOWRH!!!!
But hear me out– HEAR ME OUT!
What if... now don’t shoot the messenger who just so happens to also be the theorist... but what if...
WHAT IF!!! Luke didn’t!! plan this?!!!
Listen i know you’re probably thinking:
“Well uh Nicole, isn’t that kinda the whole point? It literally wasn’t planned until Charlie realized Madi was gonna be standing on the piano so he suggested the idea for the guitar solo to Kenny.”
And you’re right! But here’s the kicker:
What if Luke THE CHARACTER, just decided to do this as an “Alright that’s it! You wanna be like that? Well what if I just hit you with my super awesome radical totally cool wowza guitar skills & make a moment between us? Huh? What do you think about that? Hmm? HMMM???!!!”
He licks his lips & that to me read** like he was nervous (**read rhyming with bed just to clarify) so that means it could’ve been a spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment thing.
In the second gif, you can see that Julie’s head is tilted, as if she’s a bit confused, but she’s also delightfully surprised.
Julie is quick to smile and scrunch her nose at Luke, something she does often. It tells Luke his impulsive action garnered a positive response from his favorite girl. Julie also starts to shake her head, but doesn’t go through the motion in full, which means she’s still a bit nervous to let her guard down. This is probably because she doesn’t know what he’s thinking or what he will do next. The lopsided smile mixed with the suave, gliding steps towards her probably brought her back to her daydream lol.
Luke’s happy bc Julie’s no longer ignoring him. He smiles like a GOOBER bc this chump is simping HARD for our Julie. So cute! :’)
Exhibit G
And hear me when I offer this:
What if Luke poofed the guys out???
I know, I know. It’s a bold claim to make. But the boys are special, considering they are a threat to Caleb (3 gay-variant himbos vs. a gay magician that could’ve been on broadway but decided to make some sort of deal with a devil so he just entertains capitalists who most likely sold their souls to get into the hgc which i will probably elaborate on in a future theory so dont do that bc im gonna lmao idc we all have big brains) So it’s not too crazy to think that they could share some ghost powers.
We know Caleb transported the guys during You Got Nothing to Lose. And the guys have left a place at the exact same time on more than one occasion.
And you may be thinking “well what if the guys poofed out to give juke a moment alone together?” And to that I say...
Look at Reggie. He isn’t looking back at Alex like “dude let’s give them some space.”
The timing of him turning around, at least to me, makes me think Reggie was surprised by Luke approaching the piano. (But also he lowkey was waiting for Luke to prove him wrong by doing something to get Julie’s attention so Reggie isn’t mad. Neither is Alex but he doesn’t like being told how or WHEN to ghost) Luke doesn’t even give his bandmates a warning eyebrow quirk, a hand signal, nothing. Reggie turns to Alex like ‘dude what is he DOING?’ And before he can even really convey that, they go *POOF*
This man had a plan and he was gonna do it, so he did. Whether it’s the power of love, they stopped performing, or Reggie and Alex actually poofed out, the odds worked in Luke’s favor so he and Julie could have a super special moment, a moment special enough to make an actual living person (Nick) wonder if a “hologram” has a better chance at connecting with Julie than he does.
Again, regardless of who made them poof or how they poofed, they mf poofed so Luke’s a happy hamster. (Idk it just sounded fitting instead of happy camper lol wait what if someone had 3 pet hamsters and named them alex reggie and luke🥺 someone buy some hamsters and let me be their godmother or their aunt and i’ll love them from afar.) Anyway, Luke’s thriving, flourishing, his crops are going to grow in time for the harvest.
You can see Julie lean back as she turns to see Luke. It’s... almost as if... She. Wasn’t. Expecting. Him. To. Be. There..??
Honey badger Luke bc he DGAF <|:) Bitch, it’s Luke mf Patterson and he’s gonna,, GET! IN! YOUR! FAAAACE!!!
You CANNOT tell me he’s not doing the absolute MOST to try and seduce Miss Juliana Mariposa Rose Molina.
Yes I’m making a headcanon that Julie has TWO middle names and that one of them is the spanish word for butterfly and that the other is her mother’s name. Also yes, I believe (i believe that we’re just one dream away from who we’re– oh, that’s not what we’re doing? okay, sorry!) that Juliana is Julie’s full name.
In this house we love and respect Juliana Mariposa (Dahlia)** Rose Molina
**I’m just putting Dahlia there for fun bc I can. :) Whether I’d consider it a possible middle name of hers depends. Anyway I just thought it was a cute thing to add bc it goes along with the other middle names I gave her *^_^* Also, I feel like I made a post giving a bunch of the characters middle names lemme see if I can find it later)
Ok i’m done this took me basically all day from like 10am until 4:08. I obviously took breaks in between, but not long ones...😶
#jatp#julie and the phantoms#julie molina#madison reyes#luke patterson#charlie gillespie#alex mercer#owen joyner#reggie peters#jeremy shada#jatp theory#jatp headcanons#carrie wilson#savannah lee may#jatp flynn#jadah marie#sacha carlson#edge of great#nick danforth evans#music#jatp netflix#jatp cast#jatp hc#juke#crybabyddl has a theory#i spent way too long on this#crybabyddl
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bad dragon
here i am delivering content that NO ONE ASKED FOR !! this is nasty and i got super embarrassed just writing it but i hope you enjoy it anyway
honestly no one look at me, just let me indulge in this in peace
pairing: kirishima eijirou x fem!reader
word count: 10k
warnings: blowjobs, penetrative sex, virgin kirishima, lots of cum (like, a ridiculous amount), breeding (kinda), size kink?. it’s not exactly anthro bc everyone is human here but uhh non-standard genitals, i guess? kirishima has an unusual dick: pls see here for reference OR check out the amazing fanart for kiri’s dick !!
Tip Jar!
dragon dick kiri masterlist!
»»————- ♡ ————-««
Kirishima Eijirou was a perfect gentleman. He bought you flowers, he opened doors for you, he gave the sweetest goodnight kisses, he ate you out so good he had you seeing stars. You had the biggest, fattest crush on him, and you would be embarrassed about it if it weren’t for the fact that it seemed, at least for the most part, to be reciprocated.
The problem was Kirishima never let you touch him.
Whenever the two of you ended up in bed together, with the door firmly locked behind you, Kirishima insisted on sliding under the blankets and eating you out so enthusiastically he had your legs shaking in no time. It’s not like you would ever complain about that, but it definitely bothered you that he was never up for doing anything else. You would see the blanket shifting around as he jerked himself off furiously under the sheets as he tongue-fucked you, but whenever you tried to coax him out from beneath the sheets you were turned down with a soft, apologetic little smile.
You figured it must have something to do with his apparent commitment issues. Everytime you brought up the possibility of being a couple, or anything more than what you currently were (which, tragically, was nothing; just two friends occasionally getting hot and heavy) he brushed you off or changed the subject with a beautifully sunny smile and a laugh, so bright and cheery that you were successfully diverted every single time.
And it was fine, really. You liked Kirishima a lot, so you were totally willing to put up with a few odd idiosyncrasies. And okay, sure, if you were being totally honest with yourself, of course you wanted to be more than friends that flirt and kiss and mess around a bit. You couldn’t even technically call each other fuck buddies because he wouldn’t fuck you. But he was so sweet, and so handsome and kind and his tongue was so so good, that you would take whatever you could get from him.
At least, that was until one afternoon.
April had brought with it blue skies and sun showers and warm breezes, and as the weather begins to improve your friends take to lounging out the front of the apartment complex. After graduating, renting places in the same neighbourhood just seemed like the next logical step. On days like this, where you all come together just to chill out in front of the complex, it seems like the best idea in the world. As you watch Kirishima chase Kaminari around the lawn, the two of them howling with laughter, something a little wistful twists in your stomach. It’s a familiar feeling, easy enough to shove away normally, but today for some reason you just feel… melancholy.
Maybe that’s why you do something you would never normally do. You turn to Bakugou, who’s aggressively chewing on candy as though it insulted his mother, and say, “Hey, um. Does Kirishima… does Kirishima ever talk about me?”
Bakugou’s jaw stills, and he turns his head very slowly to look at you. He looks mildly disbelieving, which is understandable. The two of you get along just fine, but you’ve never asked him anything personal before. “Why the fuck are you asking me that?” he demands through a mouthful of half-chewed toffee.
You shrug jerkily, suddenly mortified. Why are you asking something like that of Bakugou, of all people? “Never mind.” you say quickly, praying that he’ll just let it go and you can both move on and forget that you had ever asked such an embarrassing question.
A silence stretches between the two of you, long and taut, broken only by Mina giggling as she shows Sero something on her phone a few metres away. You could curse yourself for making things awkward between the two of you when you had been on relatively good terms, but then Bakugou turns to look at you so abruptly that you startle a little. “Look,” he says, jaw working absently as he chews his candy. “He likes you just fine, okay. Why aren’t you having this conversation with him, huh?”
You can’t quite meet Bakugou’s eyes. You don’t know how he can be so forthright all the time. “Um. I’ve tried, but he always changes the subject.”
Bakugou swears softly, glaring out across the lawn at Kirishima as he chases Kaminari, throwing grapes at his back. “I ain’t a relationship counsellor, okay? I get that it must be hard that he doesn’t cum when he’s with you or whatever, but you seriously need to work that out with him. What am I meant to do about it?”
“Right,” you wince, your body hot with embarrassment. Your mind sticks on something he just said though, and you turn back slowly to frown at him. “He… he doesn’t cum?”
“Hah?” Bakugou scowls at you, clearly annoyed that you’re still having this conversation. You’re not about to let up though, because you hadn’t known that.
“I-I didn’t realise that he didn’t-?” you trail off, mortified and horrified in equal measures. You had assumed all those times that he was jerking off under the sheets that he was getting himself off but just didn’t want you to see. You had never questioned the lack of mess because as soon as you were done he always left for the bathroom, returning a few minutes later with damp towels to clean you up with -- you had assumed he cleaned himself up in those moments of absence. How the fuck had you never noticed? Why did Bakugou know when you didn’t? Oh god, had he and Kirishima talked about this?
Bakugou’s expression shifts as he apparently realises that he had just revealed something you hadn’t been aware of. “Oh.” he says, and his annoyance seems to have evaporated, only to be replaced by an intense discomfort. “Well. It’s not that big a deal, or whatever. I’m sure he still, uh, enjoys himself- fucking hell, can we stop talking about this?”
“Yeah.” you say a little numbly. You feel so stupid. Why had he never said anything to you? You had been under the assumption that he liked you back, but maybe you were totally mistaken. Maybe seeing your naked body turned him off to the point that he couldn’t actually cum even if hidden under the sheets and not looking at you. Maybe he never actually wanted to do any of that with you in the first place. There’s a stinging pressure building in the back of your eyes, and you have to look down at your lap and blink hard to stop yourself from doing something stupid like bursting into tears in front of Bakgou -- you don’t think either of you would live that down. “Uh. I think I’m gonna head up to my room, I’m really tired.”
Bakugou’s eyes widened a little, “Wait, are you-”
“I’ll see you later,” you smile and try to keep your voice as normal as possible, but even you can hear how forced you sound. You stand quickly and brush yourself off before heading back inside; you have to consciously slow your pace so that it doesn’t look like you’re running away, because you really don’t put it past Bakugou not to chase you down for cutting him off like that.
You bump into Jirou on the stairs and babble out an apology, escaping back upstairs to your apartment before she can ask you if you’re okay. The last thing you need is an audience for your imminent breakdown, but thankfully you don’t see a single other person on the way to your place. You shut the door to your room tight and lean your forehead against it to take a deep breath. It doesn’t do much to calm you down, so you turn and make a beeline straight for the bed. Throwing yourself dramatically on top of your bed covers feels a little cathartic, so you allow yourself the luxury of being dramatic as you bury your face into your arms and sigh.
God, you wish Kirishima would have just talked to you instead of grinning that stupidly bright smile of his and changing the subject anytime you tried to talk or ask about the thing the two of you had together. At least then you would have been able to deal with any upset that may have been caused by that conversation by yourself, and you wouldn’t have had to get all upset in front of one of Kirishima’s best friends. God, how were you ever gonna look at Bakugou again?
You know that stewing by yourself like this isn’t going to help sort this situation out, but you just can’t find the energy to start thinking about what you’re going to do next. You don’t want to start thinking about that at all. You just need some time to yourself, just a little while to relax and breathe and just not think because if you start thinking you’re pretty sure you’re going to cry. You feel impossibly stupid.
When you hear a knock coming from the door, you want to bang your head off the wall. You can’t imagine anything worse than having to talk to someone and pretend that everything is fine right now.
“Y/N? Hey, is everything alright? Bakugou said you ran off.”
Aw, shit. Maybe you can imagine something worse.
You sit up sharply, staring at the door. This was so typical. Of all the people in the building, Kirishima is the last person you want to talk to right now. So of course it stands to reason that he would be the one to follow you straight to your apartment. “Everything’s fine,” you call back quickly, trying hard to sound like you meant it, “Hey, I’m just tired right now. Can we talk later?”
“Bakugou said you were upset.”
That traitor. You clench your jaw and scowl at the wall. “I’m-”
“I’m coming in, okay?”
“Wha-?” you stand up quickly, but Kirishima is already coming in and closing the door behind him. “Kirishima, I don’t-”
“Okay look, Bakugou said you were upset with me and I’m really, really sorry,” Kirishima blurts quickly, hands up in the air as if he’s being held at gunpoint, “He’s actually pretty annoyed at me right now, but he’s right, and-”
“I’m not-” you start, then pause to gather your thoughts. Bakugou was right, especially when he said you had to talk. And it was important this time that you didn’t let Kirishima divert you like he had been doing. “It’s not that I’m upset with you. Not really. I just- what are we even doing?”
“What do you mean?” he asks, so softly that it’s almost a whisper.
“I-” you swallow hard, brace yourself, “I really like you. I like spending time with you, and I’ve told you, or at least tried to, that I’d really like to, well, be- um, be more than whatever this is. And obviously I would totally get if you don’t want that, a relationship and stuff, but I want you to just tell me! Just say it, instead of changing the subject.”
“Wait, baby, please.” Kirishima steps forward quickly and stops just short of touching you, a bare few inches between you. “I like you so much, I never wanted you to feel this way. I just- it’s difficult to explain-”
“Do you...” you start to say, then sigh. You can’t believe you’re actually going to ask this, because it makes you sound so desperate, but you really need to hear him say it, “Do you not find me attractive?”
Kirishima makes a startled choking sound, “Wha-? Are you kidding? I find you so attractive! You’re so pretty, and your body is- is really nice, why would you think-”
“You never look at me when we’re in bed and-” you start fidgeting, horribly awkward. “I just want to be able to touch you.”
Kirishima steps forward, closing the distance between you and dropping to one knee. “Baby, I’ll do whatever you want,” he says, his hands coming to rest on your hips as his thumbs stroke circles into your skin. “You want me to touch you?”
“No.” you squeeze your eyes shut in frustration, realising that he had misunderstood. “I mean. Bakugou told me that you never cum when we’re together.”
When you open your eyes again, you see that Kirishima has gone stock still. His mouth is a little open, and you can see his throat working as he seems to fight for something to say. Very slowly, he gets back to his feet. “He shouldn’t have said that.”
You stare at him, at a loss. “Is it because-” you start, then trail off as you realise that you don’t even know what you’re trying to ask. You just want him to start talking so that you can stop asking all these stupid questions. “If you don’t want to have sex with me, you only have to say so, I would never pressure you into-”
“No!” Kirishima blurts, jolting forward. The suddenness of the movement seems to startle the both of you, but Kirishima recovers faster. “God, no, that’s not what this is!”
“Then, why?” you whisper, thoroughly confused. You had hoped that talking it out would help get some answers, but if anything you’re even more confused and insecure than you had been before he came to your room. “Did I- I mean, if I’m doing something that’s-”
“It’s not you.” Kirishima interrupts, covering his eyes with one of his large palms and leaning away from you. His hand is trembling a little, almost imperceptibly. “It’s not you. It’s me.”
The statement hangs in the air between the two of you like it’s a tangible presence. You stare hard at Kirishima, but he doesn’t remove his hand from his face. He looks a bit like he’s going to be sick. “What do you mean?” you ask quietly.
You’re guessing that this is where you get the ‘You’re great and all but I’m just not ready for a relationship. It’s got nothing to do with you though, I need to work through my own stuff’ sort of speech, and you have to brace yourself for it. Instead, Kirishima says something that you had not prepared yourself to hear in the slightest.
“I’m sorry.” you say, a little bewildered. You’re certain that you heard that wrong. “Could you- could you say that again?”
A flush has begun to crawl steadily across Kirishima’s face, made all the more prominent by the contrast of his hand pressed to his eyes. His ears are so red that they blend right into his hair. “I said,” he says, then takes an inhale, “That you’ll break up with me if you see my dick.”
You don’t actually know how to begin replying to that. For one, breaking up would require you to be in a relationship, which is something that he has been avoiding for a while now. You decide to address the bigger problem first. “Why would I want to break up because of your dick? Why would you even think that? Do you think I’m that shallow?”
“It’s got nothing to do with you being shallow,” Kirishima says slowly. You get the impression that he’s measuring his words, and his uncharacteristic reticence has you on edge. “It’s just that- I’m not, well, normal.”
You stare at him, a little taken aback. Kirishima had always had some issues with self-confidence, ever since middle school, but you’d always thought he’d worked through that in UA. You had never heard him talk about himself like this. “What’s that supposed to mean? Eijirou, lots of people are self-conscious about what they have going on downstairs. It doesn’t mean-”
“No, you don’t get it,” he interrupts. His hands have started twisting up the hem of his shirt, wringing it out and wrinkling the material. He’s frowning, and clearly starting to get agitated. “It’s not that I’m self-conscious about it- well, I am self-conscious about it, I guess, but it’s for a reason! I mean it, it’s not exactly… standard.”
Your face scrunches up in a frown before you can stop it. Not standard? “You’re worried it’s too small?” You guess. Your gaze drops to the crotch of his pants, where he’s subconsciously folded his hands. “Too big?”
“Um.” Kirishima lets out a nervous little laugh, several octaves higher than normal. “Yeah, I guess. It’s… it looks weird.”
“Eijirou,” your voice is soft now, most of your frustration melted away by the sight of Kirishima’s anxious fidgeting, “We live in a world where physical mutations are the norm; you really don’t have anything to worry about.” You pause for a moment, but Kirishima doesn’t respond immediately. The silence builds, until you try to break it with a light-hearted, “How weird can it be, really?”
Kirishima’s throat works as he swallows hard, but he’s nodding so you at least know that he’s listening. When he does speak, his voice is so low that you have to lean closer to him to catch what he’s saying. “I just don’t want to ruin this.”
Your heart twists, and the last of your frustration straight up disappears. You take a breath to steady yourself, then step forward and place your hands gently on his chest. A tremor works its way up his spine at your touch, but you don’t remark on it. “Kirishima.” you say firmly, and when he looks up and makes eye contact you try to keep your gaze as strict as possible. “You really have no idea how much I like you, do you? God, I like you so much, it’s stupid. I’ve wanted to be with you for so long. I mean, even if you never wanted to have sex I would understand, so long as you talked to me about it. Your dick is not gonna stop me from liking you, idiot.”
The fear of rejection is still plain to see on Kirishima’s face, but there’s something lurking just underneath that looks like hope. “I’ve never… I’ve never been with anyone like that.”
“You haven’t?” you ask, genuinely surprised. Not only is Kirishima perfectly sweet, he’s also extremely attractive. As an up-and-coming sidekick in Fatgum’s hero agency, you knew that he had no shortage of admirers. Even before that, in UA, you knew there were always people who had their eyes on him. He was so bright, he was hard to miss.
He laughs, scrubbing at his eyes with his knuckles. “Uh, no. I mean, I’m not totally inexperienced. I mean, I’ve done oral and stuff, and I think I’m actually pretty good at it-”
“You are definitely pretty good at it,” you chime in, nodding and trying not to laugh at the flush crawling up his neck.
“I enjoy it, too!” he says quickly, as though trying to reassure you, “I enjoy it a lot. But I’ve never- I mean, no one’s ever touched me like that.” You feel your mouth drop open in honest shock. A little part of you couldn’t help but feel reassured that it wasn’t you he had a problem with, but that was mostly drowned out by surprise. Kirishima rushes on before you can speak, as though trying to say his piece before he runs out of steam, “It’s not that I didn’t want to, it’s just that it’s never seemed worth the fallout. Especially with you. I’m happy with being with you in whatever way I can, and I don’t want my stupid dick to scare you off or-”
“Oh my god, Kirishima, stop,” you say, and this time you really can’t hold back your laugh. “Your stupid dick isn’t going to scare me off. God, I can’t believe this is why you never let me touch you.” you step closer and press a soft, close-mouthed kiss to his lips. You hadn’t realised just how tense Kirishima was until he relaxed a little into your touch, the stiffness in his shoulders easing out as he sighed into the kiss. You pull back just a little, just enough that you can give him a cheeky smile. “Want me to give you your first blowjob?”
Kirishima’s whole body tenses right back up as his eyes shoot wide in surprise. “What?” he squeaks out, his ears turning scarlet.
You take his hand in yours and tangle your fingers together, before tugging him gently towards the bed. “I want to,” you assure him quietly, “No matter what your dick looks like, okay?”
“Yeah, okay.” Kirishima says as he sits at the edge of the bed. He’s breathing a little faster now, either from excitement or nerves. You’re guessing it’s a bit of both, because he’s clinging on tight to your hand even though he looks like he’s about to bolt. When you hook your fingers around the waistband of his shorts, he catches one of your wrists with his free hand. “If you- you know, if you change your mind after seeing it, just know that I won’t be mad or anything.”
He’s so quiet and earnest that you feel your heart melt a little looking at his nervously hopeful eyes. You take your hand back and climb onto his lap, pushing your fingers into his wild mop of hair. It’s the first time you’ve ever been close with him like this -- usually he would give you a sweet, gentle kiss and then dive between your legs, always keeping a frustrating amount of distance between your lower halves. This time though, he doesn’t try to divert you away. His hands grip your hips tight, and he leans his head into your touch. “I wish you would stop expecting me to push you away.” you murmur into the side of his neck, peppering little kisses into his skin. Kirishima lets out the smallest, choked off sounding whine at that, and tilts his head so that the long line of his throat is exposed. You take the hint, and start trailing kisses all along the soft skin at the base of his neck. “I told you, and I meant it; I want to be with you.”
Strong arms wind their way around your back and pull you close until you’re sat right over Kirishima’s crotch. You don’t even think it was intentional on Kirishima’s part, but you won’t pass up the opportunity when it presents itself to you. His shorts are bulging a little right in the centre where he’s starting to get hard, and you lower yourself down so that you’re grinding over him. He gasps at the contact, and his hips jerk up into you. “Oh, shit. I want you, so badly.” he gasps, his forehead dropping down to rest on your shoulder.
You have to admit, what you can feel through his shorts is… intimidating. ‘Yeah, I guess,’ he had said when you asked him if he was worried about his dick being too big. Judging by what you could feel pressing against you, that was a massive understatement, and he was only half-hard. You ghost your hands down over his sides, feeling his ribs expand with his breaths, sliding down until your hands reach the waistband of his shorts again. You push them down over his hips, and he lifts himself up to help you, and then he’s just in his impressively tented jockstrap. You smile reassuringly at him as you tug down the jockstrap, and then his cock springs free of the waistband and you pause.
“Oh.” you breathe.
“I know that it’s-” Kirishima begins to visibly panic, his hand reflexively shooting down to try and cover himself as he tries to sit up.
“It’s okay.” you say quickly, recovering from your surprise as quickly as possible. You still feel a little off-kilter as you slide off his lap to your knees in front of him. You know that you’re staring at his cock wide-eyed, but you can’t quite help yourself. It’s… well. It’s definitely not standard.
You reach out, your hand hovering uncertainly over his cock because you barely know how to begin. It’s thicker than a soda can, and long. Delicate ridges and swirls decorate the underside, with a series of bumps along the top. When you finally do grasp him in your hand, you’re rewarded with a barely stifled gasp and a hot spurt of precum that dribbles down his cockhead to your fingers. You use both your hands to explore his length, fingers trailing over all those strange ridges. The bumps along the top are apparently sensitive, because when you rub your thumbs over them Kirishima gasps and his hips thrust gracelessly into the air.
“Sorry!” he blurts as his cock dribbles even more precum. There’s so much of it that it looks like you actually used lube or something to slick up his cock, but you guess that this must be normal for him because he just looks embarrassed. “I- it’s sensitive, I guess, um- I usually put down a towel, because I tend to get, uh, messy.”
The way he says that and the connotations of it has your thighs squeezing together, and you take a deep inhale through your nose. It’s unexpectedly hot. “Gotcha.” you smile at him, trying to put him at ease as you return your attention back to his dick. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t mind if you make a mess.”
“Oh, shit. Uh, okay.” Kirishima says, and his breathing has gotten noticeably heavier now. He’s almost panting as he leans back on his elbows, craning his neck so he can get a look at what you’re doing. There’s a curious swell around the base of his cock that just seems to be growing. One of your hands travels down to it curiously, splaying over it and then rubbing it at it experimentally. His hips rock forward sharply, a huff of breath leaving him as he grunts a muted, “Fuck!”
The precum is oozing almost continuously now, spilling over with nearly every stroke, and your rubbing at the swollen base seems to be pushing even more out. It’s obscene, the copious amount of it and the way it’s stringing down onto your hands. If this is the amount of precum he produces, you can hardly imagine the amount of cum he’s going to produce. You wonder if ‘messy’ is another understatement.
You finally lean forward and lick an experimental stripe up the underside of his cock, lapping at the ridges and swirls. The moan that’s ripped out of him is needy and so desperate -- his stomach muscles are tensed with the effort he’s putting in to keep from rocking into your mouth, but his cheeks are flushed and his own mouth is lolling open, his eyes squeezed shut. You take that as your cue to take all of him in your mouth as best as you can, suckling at the tip before swallowing him down. You get about halfway before you have to pull back and try again. Your mouth is stretched obscenely wide around the girth of him, and you swear you can feel the weight of his dick pulsing on your tongue.
“Oh god, oh baby, oh Y/N,” Kirishima is babbling nonsensically, his head thrown as his hips make the sweetest little aborted rocking motions, like he wants nothing more than to let go but is trying his best to restrain himself for your sake. “Feels so good.”
You suck him as best as you can, but your jaw is starting to ache from being hinged so wide. You alternate between stroking his length and suckling on the head of his dick, tracing the swirls and squeezing the bottom. The swell at the base of his cock has engorged even further, and you prod at it curiously with one hand as you work his length with the other. It’s firm but oddly spongey, and everytime you poke at it Kirishima’s whole cock twitches.
When he gasps out your name you pull back and look up at him. He’s trembling, his shirt rucked up past his bellybutton and his gaze fixed unwaveringly on you. “You okay?” you ask softly, rubbing your thumb along one of the ridges under the head of his dick.
“Yeah,” he breathes, reaching down to cup your face. His thumb swipes over your bottom lip, and you realise that a string of saliva and precum is dripping down your chin. “But if you keep going I’m gonna cum.”
“Isn’t that kind of the point?” you laugh, and press a kiss right on his slit. His hips twitch and you dodge backwards just in time to avoid him taking your eye out with his hard on.
“Sorry!” he looks mortified, and you can’t help but find his nervous fumbling absolutely adorable.
“Don’t worry about it.” you smile as you kiss your way down his shaft, prepared now for the intermittent jerking of his hips. You get to that swollen part at the base and place your mouth right at the bottom of his cock, before wrapping your lips around it to the best of your ability and sucking.
You had guessed that this swollen area was sensitive thanks to his reactions earlier, but you’re not quite prepared for the shout he lets out or the way his hand grabs onto the side of your head as he damn near rides your mouth. You’re totally startled by the reaction, but given the amount of times that you’ve done the same to his mouth you’re only too happy to indulge him. Plus, it’s the first time you’ve ever seen Kirishima fall apart like this. His cock is dribbling precum at a rapid rate the more excited he gets, and thick strings of it are pouring onto your cheeks. You think you should probably feel a little grossed out, but seeing Kirishima open-mouthed and panting as he rides your face like he’s hasn’t got a single other thought in his mind has you so turned on that your panties are getting sticky and uncomfortable between your legs. You stick your own hand between your legs to try and relieve yourself of some of the heat coiling up in your stomach, but the way that Kirishima’s rutting into your face throws off your coordination.
“Oh god, please, baby, please, put it back in your mouth, I’m gonna- fuck, Y/N, I’m gonna cum, please-” He begs, his head thrown back as he gasps.
How could you ever deny him when he pleads like that? You pull your head out of his grasp and sink your mouth back down on his cock, and then you just hold there and breathe as steadily as you can as Kirishima’s cock throbs in your mouth. His hips spasm, pushing his cock further into your throat. It almost feels like he’s getting bigger, as if he’s growing down your throat.
Kirishima is still babbling, a steady stream of senselessness about how good you’re making him feel, how beautiful you are, how lucky he is, until he cuts himself off with a gasp of “Baby, I’m- I’m-” and then he’s silent, his mouth hanging open as his whole body strains.
You try to suck him through his orgasm, but you are utterly unprepared for the sheer quantity of cum that erupts from his dick. Despite your intentions, you have no choice but to pull off his cock, choking a little on the cum that actually managed to get up your nose. You stroke him through it, feeling dazed as you watch him cum. You know it’s dripping from your chin, running in rivulets down your face. You wonder if it’s coming out your nose.
Kirishima seems to come forever, humping into your fist and whining and moaning the whole time. When his cock finally gives its last, exhausted spurt, his body falls limp against the bed. He’s gasping for breath and staring at the ceiling, looking like his soul had been ejected from his body along with the insane amount of cum. You notice the swollen part at the base of his cock has deflated almost entirely, to the point that it’s hardly noticeable anymore.
You climb up on the bed beside him and nudge him with your knee, a little concerned. “Eijirou? You good?”
When he looks at you, there’s a goofy smile splitting his face. “I have never been so good in my whole life.” His smile freezes as he catches a proper look at your face, caught between surprise, embarrassment, and something else. He reaches out to your face and swipes his fingers through the mess on your face. “Oh god, I’m so sorry-”
“Don’t be!” you hasten to assure him, squeezing his wrists. “It was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen!”
Kirishima stares at you as though he almost doesn’t believe you, but his cum is painted across your face and dripping down your chest, so he’s not in the best position to argue. “I told you I tend to get messy.” he breathes out a laugh, and then leans forward to kiss you, apparently not caring about the taste of his own ejaculate.
You hum into his mouth, your thighs clenching in excitement. “Eijirou,” you whisper into the kiss. When he pulls back, you bite your lip and smile at him, “Next time, will you fuck me?”
Kirishima inhales sharply, and his grip on your hips tightens to the point that the pressure is near bruising. “You really want that?”
“God, yes.” you blurt, shifting so that you’re straddling his stomach. You lower yourself down so that you’re grinding against his bare skin, and you can see the exact moment that he realises you’ve soaked through your panties.
He groans, and pulls at your hips to encourage you to grind against his stomach harder. “Shit, sweetheart. You don’t think it’s… kind of gross?”
“I didn’t expect the amount of cum,” you confess, wiping at your face with a helpless laugh, “But no, I don’t think it’s gross. I like it.” You whimper as Kirishima’s thumb slides over your swollen clit, the glide made smooth thanks to the slickness of your own arousal.
Kirishima is looking up at you as though you had hung the moon, and it’s hard not to get a little embarrassed under the intensity of his gaze. “Okay,” he whispers, “If you’re sure.” He glances down with a small frown, his lips twisted thoughtfully, “I don’t want to hurt you, though.”
“You won’t.” you kiss his nose, grinning as it wrinkles up under your lips. “We’ll make sure I’m stretched.” you glance over your shoulder at his still wet, softening cock. Even now, the size of it is intimidating. “And lube,” you conclude, “We’ll use lots and lots of lube.”
“Yeah,” he breathes, a smile starting to light up his face. He presses a sloppy kiss to the base of your throat, and you can feel the smile against your skin, “Yeah, okay. I’d really like that.” There’s still cum everywhere, all over your hands and chest and face and splashed across Kirishima’s legs and stomach, but he doesn’t seem to care about the mess in the slightest as he rolls the two of you over so that he’s hovering over you. The kiss he presses to one of your breasts is impossibly soft, and you tilt your head back and sigh as you feel his fingers trace over the lips of your pussy. “I’m so lucky to have you.” he whispers, then pushes himself down your body.
As his tongue flicks over your clit, you smile. It’s definitely you that’s the lucky one here.
_________________________
Kirishima’s complicated relationship with his genitalia had started in middle school. Up until that point, he had managed to remain blissfully unaware that there was any kind of abnormality in his nether regions. That changed one day in the locker rooms.
Having never paid any particular attention to what he had in his pants, Kirishima hadn’t thought anything of changing out with the rest of the boys in his class, as unabashed as any middle-schooler that hadn’t developed a sense of self-consciousness yet. He didn’t notice the whispers or stares until one of his friends nudged him hard. “Dude,” he said, glancing between Kirishima’s legs and then away, curiosity and mild revulsion mingled on his face, “What’s wrong with your thingy?”
“Wrong?” Kirishima had echoed, discomfort beginning to prickle beneath his skin. He hadn’t realised there was anything wrong with his genitals. He covered up quickly and finished getting changed, but the stares lingered.
No one said anything more about it to him, but by the end of the day rumour had spread that Kirishima was weird down there.
He had, like so many boys his age, taken to the internet to do his own research. It felt like a punch to the gut when he realised that his classmates were right -- his dick looked nothing like the dicks that all the guys in the videos he found had. There were exceptions, where the person’s genitals were affected by their quirk, but they were always full-body quirks that made it pretty obvious that what you were gonna find down below would be non-standard. His genitals didn’t match his body or his quirk, so his classmates must be right when they say that he’s weird with those grossed-out little laughs.
He learned pretty quickly to keep that part of him to himself, to change out quickly and efficiently in such a way that no one would ever see the parts of him that he’d rather keep hidden. He welcomes physical contact because he’s still an affectionate guy, but he’s always careful about the distance he allows between himself and others just in case they brush up against him accidentally and somehow feel that he’s different. When the boys in his class start excitedly talking about girls and other boys, and how nice it’d be to have a girlfriend or boyfriend, Kirishima tries to stay out of it. He doesn’t want to wonder about something like that when he knows that if someone were to find out his secret they’d be totally grossed out.
High school comes hand in hand with experimentation though, and Kirishima is lonely and touch-starved. He doesn’t want to avoid touch for the rest of his life out of fear that someone’s going to know. So he allows himself to indulge a little; he’s popular with girls in UA, a fact that surprises him. Unlike the girls in middle school, they haven’t heard the rumours that there’s something wrong with him, so they smile and chat to him and even flirt. It’s exciting and new and he allows himself to have just this -- he kisses them and he makes them feel good, and then he retreats when they look for more because he just can’t give it to them.
When he tells you all this, you could swear that you feel your heart crack right down the middle. You hadn’t realised how lonely Kirishima was, wrapped up in a self-constructed blanket of self-loathing and disgust. You knew it had taken a lot of trust for him to open up to you like he had, but you hadn’t realised just how much. It makes your chest fill with some undefinable emotion, and you just want to hold him and never let go.
You’re more determined than ever now to show him exactly how much you care about him, and exactly how much any physical anomaly doesn’t affect the way you feel in the slightest. You’ve been stretching yourself methodically and carefully every night of the week that has passed since you gave him his first blowjob in preparation to finally have sex with him. You just want him to feel good, and you don’t want him to worry about hurting you. And now, tonight, you’ve decided that you’re ready for it.
Bakugou’s the one that answers the door when you knock at their shared apartment, and his face does something funny when he sees you. He lets you in without a greeting, and yells for Kirishima as you shut the door behind you. It’s definitely a little awkward, because your last proper conversation was that day when he told you that your now boyfriend didn’t get off when you were together, but you smile and ask him how he’s doing all the same.
He just grunts at you and sprawls out on the couch, his attention fixed on his phone. You don’t try to make any further conversation, because you figure he probably won’t respond and you can hear Kirishima crashing around further down the hall anyway. You’re about to slip down the hall towards Kirishima’s room when Bakugou speaks again, surprising you. “You talked.”
You pause, confused for half a moment before the memories of your last conversation come flooding back. “Oh. Uh, yeah, we did.”
Bakugou nods, still staring at his phone. You hover uncertainly, unsure of whether you should continue to Kirishima’s room or if Bakugou had something else he wanted to say. You don’t have to wait long; Bakugou puts his phone down and turns to survey you closely. “If you’re still here, then I guess you didn’t freak out.”
“There’s nothing to freak out over.” you say defensively, thinking of how sensitive Kirishima is about his body.
“I never said there was!” Bakugou snaps back instantly. You both glare at each other, but you don’t respond further. You came here for one reason, and that reason was not to start a fight with Bakugou when your boyfriend was waiting for you in the bedroom. When Bakugou speaks again, it’s with an awkward edge to his voice. “Whatever. Just don’t be an asshole to him.”
You realise that Bakugou is just trying to look out for his friend, and the revelation that you’re receiving Bakugou’s awkward attempt at a shovel talk is enough to have you reeling. “As if I would be,” you say, “I really like him.”
“Good. Fine.” Bakugou picks his phone back up and you take that as a dismissal. You’re just about to leave when he says, “By the way, keep it the fuck down. I don’t care if you’re taking dragon dick or if it’s Shitty Hair’s first time getting his dick wet, I don’t need to hear that nasty shit.”
His crudeness has you flushing hot with embarrassment, but you don’t dignify him with a response. You slip down the hall and up to Kirishima’s bedroom, knocking softly on the door before letting yourself in.
Kirishima is in the process of trying to stuff a pile of clothes into the bottom of his wardrobe, and he slams the door shut and whirls around when he hears you come in. “Hey!” he beams at you, trying to kick aside the pair of underwear that’s stuck in the edge of the wardrobe door.
“Hey, you.” you greet him. You’re still a bit flustered from Bakugou’s comment, but you hide it as best as you can as Kirishima sweeps you up in his arms and pulls you into a sweet, close-mouthed kiss.
In the week since you blew him the first time, the two of you have alternated between your apartments and spent almost every single day together. Some days you just touched each other with your hands, other days you used your mouths on each other. You still hadn’t gotten fully used to his enormous loads of cum, but he seems at least to be getting more and more comfortable with your touch. Even now, his hands trail up your sides as he presses eagerly into you; this boldness would have been unheard of coming from him only a week ago, but neither of you are under any illusions about what the two of you are going to get up to this evening.
You wind your arms around his neck and melt into the kiss, relishing the contact and the wet slide of his lips against yours. As his hands trail from your hips to your lower back to your ass, you feel the hard press of his lower abdomen nudge against you. You pull back and grin at him, “Someone’s impatient.”
Kirishima flushes, but he doesn’t pull away or deny it. Progress. “I’ve been thinking about you all day.” he confesses quietly, reaching up to nudge a flyaway tuft of hair out of your eyes.
“Yeah?” you grin, delighting in his openness. You take a small step back and look down at where his bulge is tenting the front of his sweatpants. “How long have you been like this, baby?”
“Pretty much since you texted me telling me you were thinking of coming over.” he says with a cheeky little smile, nudging his face into your neck and nipping at the skin there. “So, an hour and a half? Give or take.”
You hum as you cup his hardness through the cotton of his joggers. He groans and his hips jerk into your palm, as sensitive as ever. “Hey,” you murmur, “Wanna fuck me?”
Kirishima’s whole body twitches at that, and you swear you can feel his cock jump in his hand. “Now?” he asks, his voice gone a little hoarse from surprise and arousal.
“Unless you’d like to wait?”
“No! Now is good!” Kirishima says hastily, reaching out to hold your hips as though he’s afraid you’ll disappear. “God, now is so good.”
It’s really hard to hold back your laugh as you watch him scramble towards the bed, tugging you along with him. He’s excited, that much is obvious, and you really can’t blame him -- he’s gone so long thinking that he would never get to have this, that he would never be accepted like this. You want to give him everything.
His hands start fidgeting with the sheets as soon as he sits back on the bed. You straddle his lap and take his hands in yours before leaning in for a kiss, hoping to distract him from any nerves or self-doubts before they can take a hold of him. He hums happily into your mouth, squeezing one of your hands in his and using the other one to wrap around your waist and pull you closer.
“I’ve thought about sex with you so many times,” you admit when you pull away from the kiss. You reach up and stroke a line down the bridge of his nose, then push back a lock of his hair; it’s freshly washed and ungelled, lying fluffy and loose around his face. He’s looking up at you like you just hung the moon, open-mouthed and soft-eyed. It’s such a sweet look on him, and you love watching it contort into pleasure as you sink down to rub yourself against his hard on. “I want you to feel good.”
Kirishima makes a choked off whining sound in his throat as he grinds up into you. “You always make me feel good.” he says. You can feel his cock thickening and filling out against you, and judging by how clearly you can feel him, he’s foregone the usual jockstrap or protective cup he uses to try and hide his shape in his pants.
You reach down and pull at his sweatpants -- you manage to get one leg off entirely, but the other gets stuck halfway down his left thigh and you’re too impatient to keep pulling at it so you just abandon it in favour of reaching for Kirishima’s now exposed cock. You’ve gotten familiar with the thick ridges and bumps of it over the past week, familiar enough for your fingers to seek out his sensitive spots without even looking.
He moans as you touch him, and dips his hands into your pants so that he can squeeze at your ass. His grip is a little too hard, bordering on painful as he bites at your neck. He pops open the button on your pants and shoves one of his hands into your panties, rubbing at your clit with his thumb and trailing his other fingers along your slit.
You rub at the bumps along the tip of his cock, and you’re rewarded with a little squirt of precum. It dribbles down your hand and onto the sheets, and you wonder if maybe you should put down some towels to try and keep the mess contained. But Kirishima is letting out the softest little moans as he tries to rut into your hand and rub at your clit at the same time, and you decide that ruining the moment to lay down towels just isn’t worth it. A little mess is a small sacrifice to make.
When his fingers finally dip inside you, you feel his whole body tense up and still. “Baby,” he says, his voice soft and a little stunned, “You..”
“I stretched myself out before I came over,” you finish for him, pushing your hips back so that his fingers sink all the way inside of you. The lube still inside of you makes the slide effortless, and the look on Kirishima’s face is absolutely priceless. “I’m ready when you are.”
Those words elicit another little spurt of precum as Kirishima’s cock twitches in your hand. When you glance down, you see that the base of his dick is engorged and painful looking, and it only seems to be swelling. You only get to look for a moment though, because then you’re being flipped on your back and Kirishima is looming over you. “Oh, baby, oh shit,” he grits out through clenched teeth as his cock rubs up against the back of your thighs. “Are you sure you want to?”
“I want to, I want to so bad,” you promise him, kissing where you can reach on his face. You reach down and grip his cock, guiding it to your entrance, “Go slow, baby.” You’re so excited when you first feel the tip of his cock press into you that you’re not sure if the gush of wetness is from your pussy or his precum. You’re so turned on that you wonder if the amount of lube you had used was overkill, but then the length of him starts to stretch you out and you decide that yes, you absolutely did need that lube.
As soon as the tip is in, Kirishima stills over you. His head drops down, forehead making contact with your shoulder as he groans. You rock your hips experimentally, your breathing gone a little ragged as you realise that you can feel all those fleshy bumps and ridges, but Kirishima snatches at your hips instantly to still you. When he speaks, his voice is strained, “I’m not gonna last.”
Affection bubbles up in your chest as you look at his flushed face, his misty eyes. He’s practically trembling from the effort of holding back. “It’s okay,” you assure him, looping your arms over his shoulders and tracing little patterns into the skin of his back, “You don’t have to, it’s your first time. We have all the time in the world to go again and again, as many times as you want.”
Kirishima makes a garbled little noise in the back of his throat, and then he’s kissing you so sloppily and enthusiastically that drool begins to slip down your chins. It’s a little gross, but considering how much cum you’re going to be covered in soon enough you can’t be too fussy. When he pulls back, it’s so that he can look down and watch where his cock is entering you in increments.
The slow, inexorable stretch of it has your breath catching in your throat. You throw your head back on the bed and focus on keeping your breathing as steady as possible as he presses into you so, so slowly. After exploring the length of him with your mouth and hands, you knew he was big, but apparently knowing and feeling are two completely separate things. You feel like you’re being stretched impossibly wide, and when you glance down you see that he’s not even halfway in.
Kirishima pauses suddenly, his breathing coming in short pants. You think that he’s just taking a moment to collect himself, to pace himself, but he’s frowning down at where the two of you are connected. “I dont- I don’t think I’ll fit.”
“Oh, you’ll fit.” you declare, jaw set stubbornly. His dick was already partly in you, and like hell were you giving up now. “Don’t worry. Keep going, Eiji.”
“You’re so…” he groans as he edges his hips forward, rocking his cock another inch inside of you, “So tight, you feel so wet and warm inside, oh god, so good, so good.”
The stretch is starting to sting, but you’ve prepared yourself well for this and it’s not so bad that you can’t breathe through it. When he bottoms out inside you, the tip of his cock hits your cervix and your whole body jerks hard at the dull ache it sends up your spine. “Fuck!” you cry out, your hips humping back into Kirishima’s of their own accord. You can feel every damn ridge and swirl grinding against your insides, and you clamp down hard around him, gasping. “Oh, shit.”
You’ve never felt so full in your life, and Kirishima’s cock doesn’t even fit all the way inside you. You wonder if you’re about to split in two. Your thighs are splayed obscenely wide, and you can feel your own body trying to suck him in further but there’s nowhere else to go because he’s filling you up so completely. Your chest is heaving as you pant for breath -- your thoughts have turned a little muddy, but even now you can see that Kirishima has frozen, his face tucked into your neck as he shudders with deep, panting breaths. Your shoulder feels wet, and you realise that he’s drooling on you.
“Eijirou,” you groan, “Move.”
His first thrust is hesitant, exploratory. He apparently likes what he feels, because he lifts his head up so that he can look at you properly. He looks totally blissed out, his eyes a little unfocused, and his expression alone shoots a bolt of heat straight between your legs. You breathe out a curse and move your hips down and into him, trying to encourage him to fuck you properly. When he thrusts forward again, the movement is accompanied by a vulgar squelching sound, and you realise that you’re probably being filled up with his precum. The thought makes you moan quietly, tightening up around him.
Kirishima grunts and dives down so that your chests are pressed together, his arms pushing your legs up and to the side, and then suddenly he’s fucking into you for real. His moans sound like they’ve come straight out of a porn video as he shoves his cock as deep inside you as possible before pulling out and doing it again. All you can do is gasp against him as the breath is driven straight out of your lungs by his desperate humping.
His movements are nearly feral, jackhammering into you at a pace that probably should feel punishing but instead has you hiccuping out moans on every stroke. The size of him and the speed at which he’s fucking at you is overwhelming in the best possible way. He keeps gasping your name in between moans, his jaw lolling open as he pants for breath. “Oh, baby girl, you feel so good, so good for me. You like this?”
“Yes!” you wheeze, clinging to his shoulders as he rails you into the mattress. It’s better than you ever could have hoped for, and you’re nearly sobbing from the sheer sensation of it all. “Oh god, don’t stop!” You feel your abdomen drawing tight, heat beginning to build rapidly in the bottom of your belly, and you practically throw yourself down to meet his thrusts. “Please, I’m gonna cum, make me cum, Eiji!”
Kirishima practically snarls at that, his hand snaking down to your pussy even as he keeps rutting into you. His hand finds your clit and starts stroking at it hard and fast at a pace that matches his fucking. “Fuck yes, I wanna feel you cum on my cock.”
You know you’re starting to shake apart, his cock and his fingers too much for you. Your body is strung taut, your orgasm so close you can virtually taste it. As he feels you clamp down around him Kirishima lets out a whimpering moan, and with that you’re totally gone, head slamming back on the bed as you let out mindless, breathless little choking moans. It feels like your vision totally wipes out as you convulse in Kirishima’s arms, hips twitching wildly.
When the euphoria of your orgasm finally subsides, you feel so totally fucked out that you hardly know which way is up. It takes you a moment to become aware of the way Kirishima is humping into you desperately now, hunkering over you and groaning. Feeling his cock slide in and out of your over-sensitive and still twitching pussy is almost too much, and you know you won’t be able to take much more of his relentless pounding. You clench around him as tight as you can and cup his sweaty face in your hands, smiling at the open-mouthed look of pure need he’s giving you. “Are you gonna cum inside me, Eiji?”
Apparently that was the correct thing to say, because you can see the moment that he hurtles completely over the edge. He shoves his cock as deep as he can get inside you and then he’s crying out as he begins to empty himself inside you. He keeps rocking, even though his cock is crammed as far into you as it’s possible to get, and you tremble and gasp as you feel his cum spraying inside you. It feels totally filthy, and there’s so much of it that you can feel it leaking out and down your ass even though Kirishima’s cock is still plugging you up. There’s so much cum that you actually start to wonder if your birth control is going to still be effective. You almost expect it to start coming out of your ears.
It seems like he’s cumming forever, and eventually he has to pull out because you’re just too full. As soon as his gradually softening cock is pulled free, it seems like a veritable bucketload of cum streams out of you and makes a mess of the bedcovers. It’s simultaneously really gross and really, really hot, and you don’t have the energy to unpack that so you just lay back and watch as Kirishima’s cock continues to dribble cum all over his legs and your abdomen. The swollen base of his cock is deflated now, and his dick eventually gives one last twitch and then he’s finished.
He collapses on top of you, sweaty and soiled with his cum, but you don’t complain as he wraps you up in his arms and kisses your temples, murmuring soft, mindless praise into your hairline. “Are you okay?” he whispers, “Did I hurt you?”
You laugh a little, still winded. Your pussy is feeling achey from being stretched so wide, and you’re definitely going to have trouble walking tomorrow, but it’s the best kind of hurt imaginable. “You did everything just right.” you say, giving him a tired smile. “How was it?”
“If I could stay in your pussy forever, I would.” he says solemnly, the barest hint of a smile pulling at his lips.
You laugh properly at that, and roll over so that you’re lying across his chest. “Yeah? Well, I think you’ve just ruined me for all other cocks in the world. No one's ever gonna compare to how good yours feels.”
With your chin on his chest, you have a clear view of the way he flushes at your words, and the vulnerability that creeps into his expression as he looks at you. “Really?”
“I just came so hard it felt like the world was ending.” you grin at him, then press a teasing kiss to one of his pecs. “Yes, really.”
A smile breaks out on his face, toothy and dorky, as if he can’t believe his luck. “So… Would you want to do it again, maybe? Sometime?”
The smile you return is so wide it feels like it’s about to split your face. “Yeah, Eiji. Without question.”
It’s hard to kiss when you’re both grinning like total idiots, but the two of you make a valiant effort all the same. The ridiculous amount of cum painting the two of you is beginning to dry and flake off your skin, and it's definitely kind of gross but you’re so happy and sated and tired in that moment that you’re pretty sure nothing on earth could ruin the moment for you. Not even Bakugou when he comes pounding at the door and yelling obscenities in the form of noise complaints.
#NO ONE LOOK AT ME OK#kirishima x reader#kirishima eijirou x reader#bnha x reader#mha x reader#bnha kirishima#kirishima scenario#dragon dick kiri
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The boys with Autistic! MC! part two ! SFW
(Bc I’m self indulgent and like 5 ppl wanted it so yesyesyes)
(Had my first proper spoonie day in a while today so imma finish this after what 4 months? Whoopsie. Sorry if any of the points overlap I’ve not re read my last post, please shoot me an ask if you want anything clarified/expanded on !)
Lucifer:
Has to stop his brothers from constantly bothering you when you’re overwhelmed (they’re just worried)
You very quickly learn his office is the safest place to be when overwhelmed due to the dim lighting and the brother deterring curse on his doorway
He has a record player and SO much classical music for when you need background noise
This leads to impromptu slow dancing when you insist he needs a break and there’s music playing
If you have your own records, the *smoother ones will end up mixed in with his
*smoother as in less staccato /distracting because he is most likely working
Very much enjoys spending time in silence with you, he finds it comfortng to just exist with someone without having anything needed of him
Especially if you’re both doing your own thing, like you just being in the room with him (playing a game or reading or smthn) while he does his paperwork is so soothing to him
Mammon:
Have you seen his horns? They’re so smooth and shinyyy, a+++ stimming material
He loves head pats so he’ll willingly put his head in your lap when you watch movies
he’s very proud of his demon form but also kind of shy so it’ll take some coaxing to get him to let you touch his horns but when he sees how content it makes you? It’s his new favourite hobby letting you play with his hair and horns during movies
(That said they’re very sensitive (like him) so be gentle)
He WILL adopt your love language and mannerisms:
if you bump people he will start knocking into you constantly, (wrists, hips, shoulders, head, any and all on random repeat)
if you like to collect and give things to people he will a. Hoard them in a little shrine (that he Denys. having) and b. Start looking for things he can give you back
If you rub textures you like you’ll find him stroking your arms/face/jumper right back (sometimes with his face, but only ever in private because he feels vulnerable using such a soft form of affection)
Levithian:
You cannot tell me this man isn’t autistic
Communication is SO! EASY!
Then even If you don’t understand you can just ask. You can just ask and he’ll tell you. None of this ‘figure it out yourself’ nt bullshit
Our baby has anxiety anyway so he’s probably ‘over’ explained it before you can say anything
(Over explained in the sense of nt, personally I love it when ppl get really detailed)
In that case he gets embarrassed about how much he’s talking so it’s your turn to reassure him that he’s not boring you
The solace you get in realising you like all of his autistic traits soothes your own insecurities
That being said your anxiety (if you have it) is matchy matchy so don’t expect him to talk to the cashier for you
He’s very chill with you being non verbal because either he’s absorbed in his own game/anime/show or it means there’s more room for him to talk about his interests
That being said if your special interests/ hyperfixations don’t line up on any given day? The bickering over who’s turn it is to infodump gets intense (this is the one source of all your arguments)
All the other brothers are kind of terrified/jealous of your relationship, especially when they see you talking about a shared special interest because you talk rapid fire and very in-depth. to them it’s almost like you’re talking in code or another language because they know all the individual words but what the everloving fuck are you on about
Asmodeus:
Has specific outfits he wears when he wants you to hug him (which is always). They’re made out of the softest material, or any clothing of his you’ve expressed a texture interest in.
Finds it so amusing when you come rushing over to rub your face against his chest bc mmmmm softsoftsoft
Likes to text you in the morning to see how you’re feeling (and how sensory sensitive you are because god forbid his outfit with chains and jangles stops him from seeing you)
Understands better than Anyone that affection and love can be shown in a whole barrage of ways not just physically
Figures out how you show affection faster than any of the other brothers
Immediately starts reciprocating it (partly bc he’s selfishly trying to make you love him most)
Satan:
Will learn about your special interests so he can engage you on the topic
Is the ONLY person in the house you can talk about any special interest with, no matter how niche because he loves learning (although he does prefer the *academic* side of them rather than pop culture but he will listen to both)
*academic* as in something involving learning about something or crafting or *how* to do something, not just like, maths
You’re pretty much the only person who can keep up with him in terms of knowledge and enthusiasm (even if it’s only for very specific things) and thus you become the person he talks to about his interests
Originally kind of annoyed by how absentminded you are (because you forget several dates) but once you get settled into a routine he starts to find it cute how habitual you are, and then realises it could work to his advantage.
He then schedules a date into your weekly routine (or biweekly depending on your energy levels) so you start to get upset if it’s missed bc it’s part of your routine. (Satan is ridiculously smart and is very much willing to manipulate your routine to his (and yours) advantage, he is a demon after all)
Beelzebub:
Gives the best squishes. He’s just so big he can literally envelope you (in other news he is terrified of hurting you so he’s very nervous at first, he’s used to huggin ppl very gently bc he is a muscle mountain)
Maybe don’t use chew stims around him (unless he’s eating) because seeing you use them will either make him hungry, or he’ll ask to see it and oops it’s been swallowed hope you didn’t want that back (he’s very apologetic he really didn’t mean to but it was in his mouth and chewed before he could think)
Literally the kindest man in the universe, if you have issues with shame or *guilt* (especially if it creeps outta nowhere or it relates to not being able to do something) he will a. Reassure you and give you cuddles until you feel okay (or one on one bonding time if you’re too touch sensitive) then b. Go help with whatever task was too much so you don’t have to worry
Belphagor:
Have I mentioned the stuffies? This boy definitely has a stash of soft toys that all have names and personalities. This originally stemmed from the fact he was locked alone in an attic for a year, he needed some form of company or he was gonna go crazy, and sleeping alone is meh in his opinion. But then he became attached and after you showed him yours? And you weren’t ashamed of your teddy bears or how much you loved them he confided in you about his. (And you had a tea party)
Problems sleeping ? (Me too bud it’s 3.44 am lol) nonononno baby boy has got you, just snuggle up to him and you’ll be snoozing in no time (I HC that being around belphagor just makes you a little sleepy and the longer you’re there the stronger the urge to sleep gets)
You’re at rad (or out in public and can’t leave) and get overstimmed? Belphie has got you! He keeps sunglasses on him so he can secretly sleep when he’s not supposed to. Also (imo) he’s the king of hoodies, both his main outfits have a hood (and you can’t convince me he doesn’t wear one of them over his uniform as soon as lucifer dips), my boy will slip his hoodie on you and wrap you in a hug to get you away from the noise/sights
(I am now too tired to write anymore, hope yall enjoyed!)
#obey me#obey me hcs#obey me autistic mc#autistic mc#mammon hc#belphagor hc#lucifer hc#asmodeus hc#satan HC#beelezebub hc#leviathan hc
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Please write anything with a jealous Suna 😩, I need that in my life
I want you for myself - Suna Rintaro
Pairing: Suna rintaro x reader
Word count: 1.5k
Warning: mentions of alcohol and weed, curse words, some arguing
Summary: you’re at a party with your boyfriend, having a good time. You’re doing your own thing for a moment when an old friend from your childhood comes up to talk to you and catch up. Suna sees you guys interacting and clouded by jealousy, makes a scene.
A/n: GIRLLLLL thank u for requesting i love writing a bit of angst. But as always fluff at the end, bc that what we’re here for. Hope you enjoy reading! 😘
Masterlist
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When your boyfriend Suna asked you to come to this party with him, you didn’t hesitate to say yes. You loved partying, and you knew most of the people who’d be present so you knew going would be such a fun time.
Upon arrival Suna immediately began greeting his friends, you of course already being familiar with all of them waved hello and did the same. The music was blasting and you noticed everyone dancing and having a good time , there was a lot of drinks and plenty of weed to go around.
You stuck around Suna for about an hour, until your best friend Carrie noticed you and begged you to take a couple shots with her. You looked over to your boyfriend and let him know you’d be gone for a bit, complying to Carries request. He had no issues with it, he himself was about to start taking shots with his boys as well. You kiss Suna goodbye, and part ways for a moment.
Now on your fourth shot, you’re swaying to the music with your bestie, laughing and overall having a good time. You notice your boyfriend stare at you from across the room, when he notices you’ve caught his gaze he makes sure to send you a bashful smile, indicating that he’s having a good time too. Your heart flutters at the sight, you loved you boyfriends cheeky smile.
Still dancing you look over to your best friend “I’m really thirsty do you know where I can find water?”
“Yeah I heard there’s some in the fridge. Want me to come with you?”
“No girl stay here, I’ll be real quick.”
You slowly leave from the spot you were in and make your way to the kitchen, bumping into a few sweaty bodies on the way there.
Finally reaching the kitchen you quickly make your way to the fridge, normally you’d be too embarrassed to reach into another persons fridge but considering the fact that you were 4 shots in and parched you couldn’t care. Reaching inside to grab a water bottle you open the lid and start drinking, becoming startled by a voice
“Y/n?”
You turn around and notice a tall man with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes, his face seeming familiar to you
“Uh, hi? Do I, know you?” You ask as nicely as possible
“It’s me. Josh.” He replies with a smile
Hearing his name you recognize him instantly. Joshua Moretti, he was your neighbor for almost your entire childhood and your best friend all of your grade school years. He moved far away your third year of middle school, and although you’ve talked here and there, you hadn’t heard anything from him for years.
“Omg no way!” You shout as you quickly go to hug him. He reciprocates right away, squeezing you with excitement.
“You look so different! You’re so tall, and wow I did not recognize you at all.” You say happy to see your old friend
“Yeah. You look a bit different too, but I instantly recognized you when I saw you walk by.”
“That’s so crazy, well tell me how have you been? I haven’t seen you in years.”
You and Josh start catching up, he talks to you about how his life has been this far and you do the same.
Meanwhile back in the giant living room where you were before Suna notices your absence immediately. He didn’t see you leave, so he had no idea where you were. Even more confusing he noticed that your best friend was still in the same spot without you, which he found really weird.
A bit worried he gives a quick heads up to his friends, letting them know that he was going to look for you and he’d be right back. Passing through the people he’s looking left and right, in hopes to see you. From across the room he can faintly see you, you’re in the kitchen, hugging another man.
His heart drops to the pit of his stomach and his blood boils at the sight. What the fuck were you doing in the arms of another man???
He’s now pushing people to get out his way to get to you sooner. His gaze never leaves you and he notices you’re smiling at whatever the fuck this man is saying to you. He honestly never wanted to rock the shit out of another person in his entire life. But his anger was only rising and the alcohol in his system was only adding more fuel to the fire.
Finally reaching the kitchen he doesn’t hesitate to rush the other man, forcefully pushing him out of your way.
“What the fuck are you doing touching my girlfriend!?” He yells anger laced all over his words
The entire interaction caught you off guard, everything happened in a blink of an eye.
Instantly you reach to get your boyfriend off Joshua.
“Suna what the fuck!” You yell out as you push him away to create space between the two men
“Don’t what the fuck me, who is this and why the fuck are you hugging him?!”
You’re taken aback by his tone. You’ve never seen Suna like this, he was always chill and always spoke to you softly.
“Suna, baby please calm down, you’re making a scene.” You softly say gently placing you hands on his arms
“Don’t fucking touch me.” He shoves your hands away and quickly storms out.
You look back at Josh, who looks very shaken up. You immediately apologize and soon after quickly make your way to follow Suna.
Running behind him, you two are now outside the house in the middle of the sidewalk. You shout out towards him to stop him from walking any further
“Rin please stop!” You yell out.
Suna turns around and makes his way over to you, his body is now hovering yours and you notice he’s still very angry “don’t tell me to fucking stop when I’ve just seen my girlfriend holding some other guy.”
“Can you let me fucking explain?” You yell out, becoming more frustrated
Suna stays quiet and only glares back at you.
“He’s my fucking friend from grade school. We grew up together, he’s like a fucking brother.”
Suna still says no words
“And guess what Rin? He’s getting married in 4 months. So that whole scene you did in there was for nothing!”
There’s now a silence between you two. It’s evident you’re both overwhelmed with emotions. You were beyond upset at his actions and he was trying his best to process everything. You didn’t want to be in his presence any longer, thinking the best thing to do now was to let each other cool down. Turning around, you begin walking away from Suna but he instantly stops you by holding onto your wrist.
“Please let me go. We both need space right now.” You say more quietly this time
“Fuck.”
You turn back to look at him and his head is looking down at the floor
He continues talking “I feel like such an asshole. But put yourself in my shoes.” He’s looking up to you now “I had no idea who that guy was, I’ve never seen him in my life and you’ve never mentioned him, so to me it was just some random guy you were hugging.”
You’re fully turned around now, listening to him speak
“I couldn’t fucking stand it.” He clenches his fist “I couldn’t stand seeing you in another mans arms, it fucking clouded my mind with anger. All I wanted to do was fuck him up.”
“Rin.” You say bringing your hand to caress his face “I get it, you had no idea who he was and if I’m being honest I would’ve been angry too if it were the other way around.”
“You’re mine.” He says, quickly grabbing you by the waist to bring your body close to his
There’s barely any space between you two, as he starts kissing you down your neck, not caring if you were in public
“The mere thought of you being near anyone else makes my skin crawl.” He says in between kisses.
“Rin-“ you breathlessly let out but he cuts you off
“I’m sorry I really am, but I just couldn’t control it. I want you for myself.”
He makes his way over to smash his lips against yours, and you reciprocate right away. After kissing for a moment you gently push him off, beginning to talk again
“But Rin, you can’t just hit people. I promise you I don’t want anyone but you. I’m all yours baby, but please-“ you wrap your arms around his neck bringing him closer “don’t do what you did in there.”
Suna rests his forehead on yours, still tightly holding you “I’ll work on it. For you. But I get jealous, and I don’t think I ever won’t. But I promise I’ll work on how I react from now on.”
You smile at his words. Although you were completely aware that this dynamic wasn’t the sanest, you loved Suna with your entire heart and soul, and you wanted him to be with you.
“I love you baby. I’m all yours.”
Suna picks you up and you wrap your legs around his waist, he closes the gap between your lips, kissing you gently.
“I love you too. Thank you for being mine.”
#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu#haikyuu blog#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu! x reader#haikyuu!!#haikyuu boys#haikyuu x y/n#suna rintaro x reader#suna rintaro imagine#suna angst#jealous!suna#suna haikyuu
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Hey love! I was wondering if you could do some aftercare with shikamaru, or maybe the morning after yall fucked realll good but just make it pretty fluffy (it's fine if u don't want to! ik soft isnt ur style😉)
Absolutely! I am actually so soft but also just a total perv with no chill hahaha. It is an interesting dichotomy. But yes! After all the stories I’ve written about him completely destroying you, I think this is definitely in order...
One thing I would like to just quickly discuss is a lot of subs experience, subspace, or a sort of high from a BDSM scene due to the chemicals in the brain being released. Subdrop is the result of those hormones balancing back out to a more neutral state. Some common side effects of subdrop are feeling cold, moodiness/slight depression, lethargy, and sometimes a feeling of being disconnected from the space around you. The drop can happen immediately or sometimes a few days later. Aftercare is always important immediately after and the days following a scene. I don’t include it in every story I write bc of time, but know that if someone is unwilling to provide aftercare, they are not worthy or deserving of you at all, let alone your time in the bedroom. Aftercare is specific to the individual (I personally want tea and frozen grapes and cuddles) and in many cases, it is reciprocal between the Dom and sub. Remember, real Doms respect your limits and always always give aftercare.
I’ll get off my soapbox now, I just want yall to have all the love and respect you deserve. Because every single one of you reading this are important.
AfterCare :
WARNING: mentions of sexual things, D/s dynamics, subdrop, but mostly just super fluffy Shika caring for you and lots of cuteness
Your body was spent, breathing ragged and your skin was sticky with a mixture of sweat and cum. You were laying on your back, the afterglow of your orgasm, lighting up your aura. Shikamaru peppered kisses all over your face. “You’re such a good girl,” he said, “my beautiful girl.” You could only manage a smile in response to his praise. You reached up to cup his face and noticed the heaviness to your movements. Shikamaru traced over your face, down your neck, and to your collarbone. His light touches caused a shiver to ripple over your skin, goose pimples following in their wake. He kissed your neck tenderly. “You’re cold,” he observed. “I think we should get cleaned up before we cuddle, yeah?” he prompted. You did want to get cleaned up but you felt so tired. “Can we cuddle now?” you asked softly. He rolled over onto his side and pulled you into him. “We can but then we need to take a shower, we have to get you back in your body, my love.” You nodded, eyes closed, hands clasped around his, pulling it into your heart.
You weren’t sleeping, in fact your mind felt as if it was buzzing with no thoughts in particular, just strange random images that seemed to pass like clouds behind your eyelids. Shikamaru’s breaths were slow and deep, and you instinctively began to match the pattern. As soon as you’d calmed, Shikamaru kissed your cheek, “I love you.” You smiled and kissed his hand, “I love you too,” you replied, snuggling into the curve of his body. He kissed your head once more before moving to get out of bed. “Don’t go,” you pleaded. “I’m just gonna turn on the shower okay? I’ll be right back.” You shook your head, holding onto his arm. He laughed softly, “you’re so cute, do you wanna come with me then?” You nodded, you weren’t sure why it happened this way, but sometimes even the slightest distance from him could feel like an uncrossable abyss. “Up we go,” he said sweetly as he helped you move to sit. He gave your head a second to adjust to being upright, holding your face and kissing your cheeks, forehead, and nose. He then helped you stand up, “good?” he asked. “Mmhmm,” but you paused slightly, “can I go pee before we shower?” you asked. He laughed, “you don’t need to ask, love, just go.” You laughed and then padded into the bathroom.
A few moments later you opened the door to let Shikamaru in. He turned the water on and carefully watched you as he waited for it to warm. You were spaced out, dreamy, sitting on the lid of the toilet seat. Your elbows were resting on your knees and your chin in your hands. It both amazed Shikamaru and slightly concerned him when you fell this deep. He understood it was just a part of the process, he just wanted to make sure you were okay. “Whatchya thinking about, gorgeous?” he asked. You turned your head to him and giggled. “This funny video that my friend sent me,” you replied. Shikamaru raised his eyebrows and then took your hand and lead you into the shower.
He let you be underneath the water first, standing back behind you and the stream of the water. He admired the dark marks that covered your ass and the back of your thighs. He rubbed your shoulders and kissed your neck, he could still feel your muscles tensed and he worked his thumbs into your flex, coaxing you into a deeper state of relaxation. You stepped forward to allow him to get into the water as well. You turned to look at him and your face lit up. “Hey, you have your hair down!” He chuckled, his hair had been down for the last hour and you were just now noticing. It was a testament to how deep you had been in subspace, but also a sign that you were coming back to yourself. “I like it down,” you added. “Thank you beautiful,” he replied . “Okay now turn around so I can wash your hair,” he said and you did. You loved this, when he would massage the shampoo into your scalp. It was the way he did it, it was so conscious and done with care. It was as if he was trying to wash all the negative thoughts from your head. You felt loved and like you were being restored. He tilted your head back, careful to not get the soap in your eyes as he washed it out of your hair. Your hair and mind now feeling much more clean, you turned to Shikamaru. “Can I wash your hair too?” you asked. He smiled wide, handed you the shampoo, and said “go for it.” You moved behind him and began to lather his head. You had to reach up to soap all of his hair and then tipped his head back and rinsed his hair, using your palm to help remove the soap.
When the water ran clear without soap you leaned forward, wrapping your arms around him. You rested your head against his back. He laughed softly, you were so cute, how could he resist. “Hey,” he turned around and hugged you back. You thought he was going to continue speaking but he finished his thought by locking his lips onto yours. It was a passionate kiss, reserved for the times where words weren't enough to communicate what he was feeling.
He spun you around and did your conditioner and then this time did his own. He knew he had to get you cleaned up and into bed, it was already getting pretty late. Shikamaru took a cloth and lathered it with your soap before using it to scrub your body down, removing any of the evidence from your previous activities. Any marks that were left were washed gently and given a kiss to show his appreciation and affection. You took the cloth from his hands and repeated his movements, on his body this time. Shikamaru was surprised, you hadn’t washed him before but he didn’t complain. It was a nice testament to how much you cared for him. He rinsed off quickly and took your face in his hands. “I’m gonna put new sheets on the bed for us, okay? Can you stay here for a sec?” You nodded and watch as he exited the shower. You stood underneath the water and listened as he got himself a towel and began to dry off. The sound of Shikamaru exiting the bathroom and the rush of cold air that accompanied snapped something inside of you. A deep sadness welled from inside your chest and tears began to trickle down your cheeks. ‘It’s just the drop, it’s all okay,” you told yourself. You wanted to go back out to Shikamaru and lay wrapped in his arms. ‘He’s just outside making the bed, he’s not that far away, it’s okay,” you consoled. You felt embarrassed now, that you’d been crying for no reason. It made you feel anxious, worrying that Shikamaru would be frustrated with your up and down emotions. But you also knew that stewing in your current state would make it worse, so it would be better to se him.
You turned the water off and grabbed a clean towel from under the sink. You wrapped it around you and opened the door to your shared bedroom. Shikamaru had just finished putting the fitted sheet on the bed. He had dressed himself in a pair of grey sweatpants, but still had yet to put a shirt on. Small beads of water rolled down his chest from his hair. He was unfolding the top sheet when he saw your eyes red and puffy, standing wrapped in the towel. His face dropped into concern as he looked over at you. “Hey, hey, what’s happening?” he asked gently. You walked over to him and nuzzled your head into his chest. He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled you into his lap. He rocked back and forth holding on to you. “It’s okay love, I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered as you began to calm once more. Your breath slightly shaky. You relished in the feeling of being enveloped by his warmth, his clean scent filling your senses. He slowly slid you onto the bed, pulling the towel from around you, folding it and placing it under your head so the bed didn’t get wet. “I’m gonna make the rest of the bed around you,” he explained smiling. He flipped the top sheet over you, then the comforter and then he cased the pillows and arranged them around you, like you were in a nest. “There you go, perfect,” he smiled down at you. You reached for him and he leaned down to kiss you. “I’m gonna get something for you to eat, okay love? Will you be okay?” You nodded back up at him and he disappeared down the hall.
When he returned he had a bowl with apple slices, powdered with cinnamon and drizzled with honey, and a glass of water. He set the bowl down on the side table and grabbed a sleep shirt for you from the drawer. “I don’t want you getting cold,” he grinned. You reached for the shirt to put it on but he slipped it over your head for you. Shikamaru climbed into bed next to you and handed you the bowl of apples. “For you, my beauty,” he admired and you smiled as you ate your snack. “So do you wanna show me that video your friend sent you?” Your eyes lit up and that was the reaction he was hoping for. He needed to bring you back down to the present moment, back to your body instead of you floating outside of it. Shikamaru knew that this deep of a drop could last a few days but the sooner he got you even just a little bit more grounded the easier the transition would be for you. “Hold this for me will ya?” you asked and he took the bowl from your hands as you reached for your phone.
One video led to many and soon you were laughing and talking more while munching on your apples. Shikamaru took the empty bowl and handed you the glass of water. You took a few sips and then held the glass to his lips, “you too,” you beamed. He drank and then thanked you before setting the glass on the side table. He rubbed your tummy and kissed it, “feel better?” he asked. “Yeah, much... thank you, I love you.” He kissed you, “I love you right back.” He coaxed you up and back to the bathroom to brush teeth and properly get ready for bed.
You both climbed back into bed and Shikamaru turned out the light. His arms encircled your body as they did every night. His warmth was comforting and you entertained your legs with his in an effort to feel ever closer to him. “You take good care of me,” you murmured, half asleep. “That’s because, I love you, and we belong to each other... for however long you want it to be that way,” he whispered. Your eyes opened and you turned to look at him. “For forever,” you said almost hurt at the implication. He kissed you for the last time that night, “alright then, I’m yours forever.” You fell asleep with a smile on your face that night.
Your eyes fluttered open, the golden light of morning filtered through the blinds. You took a deep breath and stared up at the ceiling. A kiss on your cheek alerted you that Shikamaru was awake too. “Good morning Princess, how are you feeling?” You rolled over so that your head was on his chest. You drew small patterns with your fingertips over his heart, little flowers and other simple shapes. “I am wonderful, how are you?” “Even better now,”he responded with a kiss to your head. “Now, what do you want for breakfast?” You laughed softly, “no, you can’t do it yourself, I wanna help.” You paused, and snuggled deeper into his chest. “But in a little while, I just wanna lay here with you for a little longer.” Shikamaru stroked up and down your arm, “we can lay here as long as you want.” “Forever?” “Forever.”
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assorted thoughts about farewell my concubine which i watched the other day w my mom who like sparknotes’ed the movie for me as we went along. she’s my no fear shakespeare. anyway putting them on tumblr bc i find it better for archiving purposes. ty to max for talking the movie out w me after 😊
spoilers obvi
the whole "by nature i am a boy/girl" stuff reminded me a lot of the concept of sexual inversion which was like when old homophobes assigned men the action of "liking women" and vice versa. thus linking gay men w femininity bc they like men which also sees a trend just like in Society(tm). at the beginning everyone else is super happy when douzi gets the line right but there's still smth like hollow? about that scene to him. when he adopts the baby, taking on the traditionally feminine role of caretaker. and then at the end when they both get the line "wrong" but he like almost reclaims(?) himself as a boy. yeah. and ofc when leslie cheung says that thing about a good actor is androgynous in one of his later interviews
but then right after that he kills himself which could be bc he recognizes that their socially conservative society won’t allow them to be together or bc he wants to end his life w what he sees as a symbol of their love..? or maybe it just isn't more complicated than what xiaolou says earlier in the movie when dieyi asks why the concubine has to die: because that's the play!
that said it is very weird that people take that line to mean that playing the concubine made him confused about his gender and start liking men or whatever, which is smth my mom said and apparently a lot of articles online. like gd that Is the concept of sexual inversion which is obvi not how being gay works but also just narratively dieyi's feelings for xiaolou def started before he started playing that role
i also think there's a lot to do w fate, like when juxian leaves the brothel and the manager person (i know there has to be a better word for this but god i cannot think of it rn) gives the whole "once a whore always a whore" speech. and then in the end when juxian is villainized bc she used to be a sex worker
but then i’m also kind of confused bc when they first introduced the story of farewell my concubine (the opera) they said it means you only control your own fate...? hm.
also there was SOMEONE talking about karma earlier in the movie which i remembered when dieyi starts yelling about retribution at the denouement but i can’t remember who and in what context and it’s nagging at me
maybe the sword as a symbol of their struggles? it always appears at important moments in their life as almost this recurring character - douzi wanting to give shitou the sword when they were younger, when yuan and dieyi first meet (ew), when yuan and dieyi drunkenly recreate the opera scene and dieyi puts it to his neck, when xiaolou is being interrogated, i’m def forgetting some - but then it's interesting bc when xiaolou throws it into the fire, it's juxian who goes to retrieve it and returns it to xiaolou before hanging herself like she recognizes its significance
smth smth subversion bc xiaolou who is supposed to play the Man is the first to crack, whereas juxian never snitches on anyone even as she is forced into the spotlight
also think it’s weird that people don’t think dieyi’s love was reciprocated? xiaolou left juxian after her miscarriage to go find dieyi and slapped her for telling their shifu that dieyi was addicted to opium. there’s def more but those are two scenes that stick out to me
anyway i too am in love with leslie cheung and gong li. xiaolou kinnie moments
ALSO the behind the scenes vid was so fun and insightful. can’t believe the scene of juxian jumping into xiaolou’s arms and the scene of their shifu beating xiaolou as an adult were real wtf. and having to film the scene in front of the fire in 90 degF beijing weather in full opera costume omg
really appreciate the research that the actors put into their roles - like gong li reading books about sex workers in that era of china and leslie cheung’s extensive training for his accent and jingju such that they didn’t even have to use the doubles they’d hired
love love love all the callbacks throughout the movie - when xiaolou says “i’m the one to blame, hit me instead” like what douzi did at the beginning of the movie after he and laizi ran away (oh and laizi also. man.), when dieyi says the same thing to juxian and rejects smth she offers at her and xiaolou’s wedding party and after no one tells dieyi that xiaosi was supposed to replace him as concubine yu
the editing for the part where the eunuch rapes douzi was so chilling and so good - the pan to the painting and then the bell toll, and douzi staying silent when shitou asks him what happened. fuck.
also really enjoyed the scenes when dieyi and juxian would be petty towards each other for more shallow reasons lol
i have thoughts about xiaosi that have not really crystallized yet. passing down the torch gone wrong etc etc...
#farewell my concubine#i want to get into chinese cinema more but the industry kind of notably sucks#ah well. a problem for after i work my way through leslie cheung's work#if anyone wants to give me recs.... 😳#julia watches movies
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A 💘and💗[a male Hero] pleasee hehhehe
Idk where to start lol hahaha so I'm 5'1😪, black hair, and I really like to eat😙 I like spicy foods but not to spicy and I love eating anything sweet😶 I can be loud- no, I am loud, I laugh easily, and I like to read (binging your works) watching anime and listening to music when I have time, I can survive not sleeping a whole day, because I can't sleep (damn insonmia😩) I really hate people lying in my face, blehh🤮 I suck at any games😭 I hate ghosts😭 and I have a terrible luck, clumsy as fuc- , and I can be an UwU girl and a bruh girl😂 I can cook, atleast that's what I think😂 I am very clingy to the person/people I like and comfortable with🥺❤ I'm in between on being and extro and introvert❤ I can be academically smart but sometimes I'm dumbass and the list goes on but I think this is enough?? I'm a bubbly person, I think.😂 thank you in advance and I love youuu—🧸🎂
I'm thinking Bakugou and Kaminari! Again, I'm indecisive and putting two characters instead of just one because even if you aren't together with one of them, you'd definitely get along as very good friends, right? So pick your dude, bc the other comes as your bestie too. [Also, you put 💗 but no character so idk 🥺]
Bakugou:
× Okay, he makes fun of your height and you gotta accept it. Definitely isn't smirking fondly at you. Nuh-huh, you just can't see well from down there [istg don't hate me, it's just Bakugou teasing you💀]
× You might snap at each other a lot [still, toned down compared to anyone else] but hands down you might be one of the few that really can keep up with his attitude.
× Definitely more playful in a relationship with you, plus prickly blushy baby, but at first it's a warzone before you get together. Take it as you will.
× You clumsy? Better prepare to not hear the end of it while he also helps you out, even gets out of his way to do so. Also becomes protective over you.
× You have many things in common and he'll find himself comfortable around you. You get him.
× Appreciates your honesty and the fact that you don't like liars because he is the same. For real, respects that a lot about you.
× Your introvert and extrovert self will come handy with him. Bakugou isn't a people's person and sometimes wants to chill alone. With you. And if the situation requires, appreciates that you can be the extrovert between the two.
× Struggles with affection at first but learns really fast to embrace it and love it and I truly believe he reciprocates just as much but in private. Kinda shy about PDA, but he roams around you always. Legit, he's always close by and even has his hand in yours.
× Thanks the lords and heavens that you can handle spicy food! You're cooking it together and that's 💥 his shit💥.
Kaminari:
× Kaminari Denki and you sound like a fun couple. Scratch that. You sound like a crack-head couple in the best way possible.
× He genuinely loves your personality. You're different enough to learn from each other but not too different to not be interested.
× Laughter with him comes easily and you'd have the greatest times together. You bond over shows and anime, absolutely argue who's the best character and make bets on what happens next.
× He's a pro-gamer boi and has a surprising amount of patience to teach you anything! Although he really doesn't care about your skill because all he wants is to spend time with you even if you're apart.
× You both dead bc he spends all night gaming and with your insomnia, I imagine both struggling to exist but in ✨each other's company✨. Will worry for you though and will try to help somehow, yet baby has no idea how.
× The same with ghosts too, lmfao. He isn't fond of them but it only happens after a scary movie or something, yet he'll love to hold you close and protect you. His heart will just— 🥺
× I feel the fact that you can be a bruh girl and an uwu girl is awesome to him. You can be bros and he can make you blush? 100% simps for you.
× Just an easy-going relationship. He really has eyes for you and you only and wants to see you smile every day. Bonus if he is the one to make you smile. Or better! Laugh!
× Did I mention he simps?
#noire writes#bakugou katsuki x reader#kaminari denki x reader#valentine event#bakugou x reader#kaminari x reader
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Since I’ve been kind of AWOL/inactive and also not very responsive ooc, I figure I should just say: I am a socially lethargic and introverted person who is fairly apathetic towards role-playing, though warmly so, and have no real sense of obligation to it nor do I expect my partners to feel obliged etc. I also happen to have a lot of bigger, more pertinent shit going on in my life outside of this bubble. This means I’m probably not gonna be super consistent with ooc talking, threads can be ‘delayed’ (as if there’s some sort of deadline to begin with...), etc and I may come off as aloof or disinterested, but that isn’t the case. I’m just chilling lol. But I’m also not going to apologize for it because in no way is my behaviour related to the behaviour or characters of my mutuals, I’m not gonna deliberately ignore you or talk about you or get annoyed at you because I don’t care enough about role-playing to get mad about it unless there’s something worth getting mad at, and in those cases it won’t even be roleplay-related but just a general issue (i.e bigotry or abuse in the RPC, or just plain being a dick). I’m fairly easy-going outside of that though like I don’t care if your reply is a day, a month, a year late, ic or ooc; I don’t care (I actually quite like it) if you spam my inbox with ask memes or if you spam my DMs with character or ship gushing, I don’t care about the semi-taboo about asking people to ship etc... just do what you wanna do, man, I’m here to vibe & I’m not here to treat people like shit over some anime roleplay so prioritize your own health & I’ll do the same !!! If we’re mutuals, I want to write with you. That’s the bare bone truth of it and it’s really not much more complicated than that for me.
So in essence, if you’re ever nervous about me or anxious about approaching or you have a feeling I don’t like you, it’s none of those things because none of my behaviour is influenced directly from Tumblr but from external circumstances and/or just like... my... personality, lol, and if my personality makes you anxious it might be a good thing to soft-block me for your own health! Since that’s what matters. but, consider this a reassurance that like... if you ever feel some type of way because of me, just hit me up and I’ll clear the air, bc I’m not about fighting or arguing or vagues or cliques or being petty etc I’m just vibing.... the only thing I won’t tolerate (other than the big moral no-nos outlined in my rules and pinned post) is being manipulated or guilt-tripped by someone who is, beyond being a Tumblr mutual, a stranger because you put expectations I don’t reciprocate onto me for certain levels of friendship that are just not available to you. But all of my mutuals seem like chill and cool so that’s more just a like, general informative thing to note for future reference.
For the record, I’m not like a machine, I really enjoy role-playing (otherwise I wouldn’t do it lol), I love talking about ships, I love making up AUs, I like it when my mutuals send me seventeen memes from the same post, etcetera, because it gives me stuff to work with. I get excited when my partners post a reply etc... buuuut for all of the positives there are, I’m not allowing any space for this to become a negative environment too, which means that like... if I don’t feel like talking, I’m not gonna talk. Even if I have unanswered DMs but I’m reblogging stuff/posting. If I don’t feel like writing, I’m not gonna write! And I hope my partners feel the same!! Because this is a hobby and a place to unwind and escape & we all deserve to set boundaries and not turn this into yet another place of duty and obligation when life is already so much of a tormented capitalist hellscape wherein our entire life purposes have been reduced to supply and demand <3 peace and love
#the way I've wrote a tl;dr for this and each time the tl;dr ends up like as long as the post#sag mercury is detriment for a reason I bet you a virgo mercury could've put this in 1 sentence#n e way this isn't towards or about anyone (which I hope would be obvious from . Everything I just said)#but that's just a reassurance for my fellow paranoid and anxious minded folk!!!#vagues are weird like man. if you have enough a problem with someone to make a text post they can see then you can also like dm them#or just. Unfollow them#that's something I never understood like why make a vague about someone who can see it because. They're accessible#and also the inherent vagueness of it means... anybody might think it's abt them#idk they're not constructive to me#I get having a bitch though I love to bitch and moan and complain about everything in the entire world but like. Not on a public forum#if you're gonna whine about some small shit do it somewhere priv ? Or to your friend? like a normal person#and if it's a big deal then either block or confront (not necessarily aggressively depending on wat its about lol)#life is literally so easy
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i live in a universe where if i were to walk down the street i could get murdered willy nilly cos im black but men are out here going around being like “my boyfriend and i met when he was a junior in high school” i don’t believe in jail and i try not to make jail jokes but HOW IS THAT FAIR? JAIL!!! GUILLOTINE!!!! GET THIS MAN A RETIREMENT FUND AND A THERAPIST
that dialogue was fucking embarrassing. he shoulda just said “im 12 yrs older than him” no one needs to know u were 30 dating a 17 year old u insecure freak. retire bitch and get away from her
i wanted muren so badly to be like “LMAO SRY didnt mean to seem surprised i just like men my own age i guess?” i wouldnt have even apologized if i was surprised. my friend was dating someone ten yrs younger than him and i made fun of him for it and he was like “i know” bc he does know.
just a tip: i don’t like getting hit on by men way older than me, a lot of people don’t. i’ve had men who are 36 interested in me when i was 23, and i reciprocated, but now as i am 29 and older i realize how much it confused me and how i didn’t like it.
age gaps are what they are. ther’es many times i do not like it especially if it is a pattern (this is what happens in tv shows and movies and the opposite of that isn’t gay age gaps or power imbalances or women much older than a younger man ok that’s not progress it’s just peopl ewanting to be like cis men and no one wants that) and esp if the person’s peers are all their ages. people seem to forget that we travel in the same social circles on purpose due to our environments and also our world experiences. the only way to meet an older man is outside of school and yet adults can’t seem to control themselves?
i saw this person who was one of the editors of sexual hegemony (a book on capitalism and homophobic laws and sex basically idk google it it’s interesting) and he was trying to have a foucultian outlook (i hate focault btw doesn’t mean what he says wasnt interesting but it does mean i am not okay with psychosexual philosophers who take advantage of people. the only testament against him having reltaions with younger people is a bunch of young people i nfucking tunisia and there’s an excuse that he wasn’t a fucking pedophile he was those ebebebbeopopopo people and it doesnt matter when ur in fucking tunisia as a white french algerian fucking preying on children) how age of consent laws desexualize younger people. they were passed for abunch of reasons like any law but here is the thing
we have no business in being in spaces to determine children’s sexual identity and teenagers in their own realm. THEY need to figure it out. our job as adults is to PROTECT THEM full stop. not intrude on their lfe and not give them the tools to decide for themselves. age of consent laws are meant to protect not to facilitate children against some boogeyman of sex. the issue is the way our society views it but young people are sexual AS YOUNG PEOPLE. it has NOTHING to do with adults and it shouldn’t. that’s why it is extra fucking intrusive when you are literally wedged into someone’s life who you have no business being around. it’s only by fucking circumstance. it’s abysmal and not cute.
what this tells me is that the age gap is salacious. not in the way that i was 23 and a man was 36. in the way that he was 17 and this dude was 29. that’s interesting right? it’s “oooh” and it means we shouldn’t balk at it. saying 12 years would have sufficed, raises some eyebrows, and we can figure out the dynamics after but you just had to put that in BECAUSE YOU FUCKING LIKE IT but the thing is there’s no part of it that was fun. i’m just going to assume you like fucking teenagers bc that’s what it’s telling me lmao
i rarely talk about this couple but to put them in my eyeballs and then have that stupid conversation it was insulting lmao god please get a fucking script supervisor fuck but none of them care about sotry or any of what i fucking laid out. how stupid and careless and just unfun. i don’t like it. also ew at the idea of 2 tops and 2 bottoms talking oh my god i am gonna give myself a heart attack i’m already so fucking anxious i have to see my family lemme chill
im 29 and feel bad having a crush on a 23 year old CELEBRITY ok and i SHOULD feel ashamed and it’s not even a big deal that’s how everyone should approach life tbqh u walk around like ur 100 yrs old to avoid children. oh what’s that this korean cebrity learned english and moved to america to start a family with me and i find him very hot and i like his voice but we’re 6 years apart i’m not sure if i would work (how fun of a drama would that be. pointless and ridiculous. i love it.)
oh there’s a great review on CMBYN and its history and how the isolation and seeclusion was so fuckign capitalist bougie patriarchy and yea idk if anyone is interested. i think it’s ironic the ending for the people in CMBYN irl bc it’s just. so indicative of this shit. i dont like guadignino (idk is that how u spell his name) and think he’s not a great....person or director (i love the look of suspiria tho likke visually and edited. the DP was thai btw! he did an amazing job!!!) but it critiques this film from a perspective of someone who clearly at least cares about artistry, no matter how poorly i think he executes it, and just how hollow it is. the thing about “escapism” is that it relies on the harsh realities of the world to make it opposite, everything has context, nothing is apolitical. to make something that exists in a vacuum is negligent and it doesn’t help you escape it makes you even more tied to this world and its flaws because it doesn’t do anything to mitigate it.
people view it as like “we can put something stupid on screen and people have to accept it in this world” but that isn’t how IT WORKS. you hvae to build up the stakes of the world. but i can’t see introducing some “taboo” (see: stupid) elements and pretending the escapism is seeing this and allowing it. how could it be when the problem is the nature of the rship itself? what world are you taking us to? and why does this world ignore the pressing realities? and i wouldnt say either of these are explicit escapism (i think i hate that word now) becuase um they arent. this fantastical generally rich people escapism isn’t about bending things that don’t work to mold it into our society because WE DO THAT ALREADY it’s about taking those things and twisting them to something we can accept and like or something that has real consequences for people. it’s so funny how marketing and the idea of pc culture and shit and conservative ideology seeps into these. they have an explicit interest in holding the status quou of taking advantage of people and using their power; age is a huge structure to do so. in this society when we struggle why would its existence not be challenged? because rape, ridiculous rships, abusive rships, torture etc is a power move, conservatives rest on it and people who gain power. what about that is appealing? making it gay? well, no. especially because men DO have power.
every fucking thing in BL is a reflection of of patriarchy honestly. i can admit that and i’m not okay with it but it’s consumption. there’s a way to make this decent or entertaining without it being so fucking poorly done. and atp i dont even want to call things bl it’s a tv show just bc it’s for a certain audience doesnt mean anything do better idiots
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Angel’s Goodbye
Pairing: (Mayans MC) Angel Reyes x Latina!OFC
Rating: Explicit, NSFW
Warnings: Language, unprotected vaginal sex, mentions of bodily fluid, Angel being hot as fuck, Angel’s ringed fingers (bc that shit fucks me up hardcore)
Word Count: 3.5K
Summary: A booty call. Porn without much plot.
A/N: Okay, so this is all Ashley’s @negansdirtygirl22 fault! I had this fic more than halfway done and now that Ashley is thirsting over Angel’s fine ass like I am, I decided to finish and publish it. This is purely self-serving and I’m okay with that. Please read, enjoy, and share with your friends!
*Masterlist in bio.
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Isabelle hummed softly to herself as she finished putting away laundry that had been sitting in a basket for nearly a week. The television was on in the background, but she wasn’t paying it any attention. The bedroom was awash in a soft light, the darkness of the late hour not lost on her. A small shiver ran up her spine as she walked on bare feet across the hardwood floors to put her clothes away. There was a slight chill in the air and she made a mental note to turn the heat up before she went to bed.
A door opening and closing within the house made her stop abruptly, the scrap of lace she’d been putting away clenched in her hand. The noise had startled her and she listened for just a beat before the sound of familiar voices eased her nerves somewhat.
“Angel?” She called out, stepping closer into the darkened hallway. Two figures stepped forward and Isabelle clutched her chest at the scare. The two men smiled down at her, one looking like a lovesick puppy and the other looking away out of respect for her state of undress.
“Hey, baby…” Angel rasped, his hands immediately coming forward to rest on her rounded hips. He leaned down to place a chaste kiss to her lips and her body responded automatically, reciprocating the action.
Isabelle looked behind him at the other man and smiled sheepishly, trying to use Angel’s body as somewhat of a shield to her scantily clad form. She was wearing shorts that were probably categorized more as underwear and a thin shirt that dipped low off one shoulder…not a bra strap in sight. It was her sleep attire and while not suitable for company, it was perfectly comfortable for bed.
“Hey, Ezekiel…” Isabelle gave a small wave and the younger Reyes returned it with a smile, trying to avoid looking at her naked legs. She belatedly realized she’d waved with the hand that still clutched a wad of black lace and hastily threw it onto the bed and out of sight. Both men smirked in amusement at the gesture.
“Hi, Isa…sorry to show up so late.” EZ apologized, knowing his older brother had not given Isabelle notice of their arrival, judging by her surprised reaction.
“No, it’s okay. I’m sure my darling, thoughtful boyfriend meant to text me.” She said with a pointed stare and arched brow directed towards the man who still held her against him. His hands roamed towards her backside, a smirk planted firmly on his face as he stared down at her.
“I thought it. Did I do it? No.” He said with a smile. “You know me better than that, mi amor.”
Isabelle smiled up at him, unable to be mad at the love of her life for too long. And he was right, she did know him better than that…better than most.
“What’re you guys doing here anyway?” She asked, directing the question to EZ because Angel was too preoccupied with his hands on her ass to provide a real answer. Isabelle was just thankful EZ couldn’t see that his older brother was trying to grope her in front of him. Though he probably had an idea. And Angel had tried to do worst in front of his brother. He got some kind of thrill out of making EZ turn red, whether from anger or embarrassment.
“Pit stop, baby…on our way back to the clubhouse to handle some shit.”
Angel surprised her by answering, but she nodded in acceptance. It was nearing ten o’clock, but the MC forced the guys to keep strange hours. It wasn’t unusual for Angel to be in and out throughout the day and night. It wasn’t ideal, but she’d learned to deal with it.
“And your bikes? Didn’t hear them when you pulled up.” She inquired, squirming against Angel as he rubbed his facial hair against her neck. He knew what that sensation did to her and she pushed back against his chest to keep from moaning in front of EZ.
“Came in the van.” Angel mumbled, finally untangling himself from her. He moved so that EZ could see her full on and she struggled not to grab the throw blanket she kept at the end of their bed. EZ shook his head and laughed at his brother’s antics, all while still diverting his eyes away from her.
“I’m gonna go to the kitchen.” EZ called out, already turning away from them. The awkwardness of the situation was becoming far too apparent.
“There’s leftovers in the fridge, EZ. And beer. Help yourself.” Isabelle called as he started to move further down the hall. He turned to nod his head in acknowledgment.
“Thanks, Isa.” He said, a genuine smile on his face. It warmed her heart. The younger Reyes seemed to be having a tough go of it as of late so anything Isabelle could offer to the man, who she also thought of as a brother, she would.
“Bout time…” Angel growled once EZ had disappeared into the kitchen. He attached himself back to her, his hands now firmly griping her ass and his lips connecting with the flesh of her neck. She was caught off guard as she gripped Angel’s shirt in her hands and struggled to get her bearings.
“Lil brother doesn’t know how to take a fucking hint.” He murmured against her neck. She laughed, but angled her face so that he was forced to look down at her.
“He does. He just does it to fuck with you…you both do.”
“Yeah well, I miss my girl.”
Angel’s voice was soft and low as he changed the tone of the room from playful to intense in seconds. She loved that about him. He would pick the most unpredictable times to be vulnerable with her. He trusted her enough to do that. It made her heart beat faster and her thighs clench in want. She’d missed him too.
“Did you bring your brother to a booty call?”
Her words made a real laugh break from his lips and she felt warm inside when the sound filled her ears. His face went back into her neck, his mouth not just ghosting across her skin anymore but now marking her. It was a clear display of ownership. Angel loved to flaunt her, case in point, the little display he’d put on in front of his brother, but he also liked to make it known that she was not on the market. The whole idea was incredibly sexist and barbaric, but she couldn’t help the rush of arousal that swept through her every time he marked his territory.
“Your brother is in the kitchen, Angel.”
The words were meant to be a stern warning, but they came out breathy and more like a moan. His tongue was lapping at her skin, his teeth nipping at her earlobe. His calloused hands ran up and down her back, his rings making her shiver as they ran across her now heated flesh.
“So, we gotta be quiet then.” He challenged, his hands already moving to the waistband of her black shorts. He was edging them closer to the bed while a foot kicked out and caused the bedroom door to slam shut. That had to be obvious to the man in the next room.
“Ezekiel’s gonna know what we’re doing.” She tried again, though she doubted she’d get through to him. And with the way he was caressing her, she didn’t think she wanted to.
“He’s a big boy. He’ll be fine.” Angel whispered as he picked her up, allowing her legs to instantly wrap around his waist. Their lips finally met in the passionate embrace they were so used to and it felt like home. Isabelle got lost in all the sensations. She lost herself against his lips and tongue. She let her hands grip his thick strands of hair as he rubbed himself against her. The denim between them created a friction she wanted more of.
“Bed.” She demanded breathlessly, and he followed without hesitation. The soft mattress met her back as Angel laid her down. Her long, black hair fanned out around her as he hovered above her. His dark eyes watched her intently, his face not giving away anything. But Isabelle knew what he was thinking. She knew what he was feeling. Because she was thinking and feeling the same things.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous…”
His voice was like grit and silk all at the same time. Years of smoking made him sound dangerous, but the emotion behind his words gave him away. Isabelle smiled almost shyly up at him through dark lashes. She could feel her body respond, her brain becoming drunk off pheromones. Lust and love had her spreading her legs, inviting him to the place she needed him most. He accepted the silent request and began to undress before her.
Angel’s eyes seared through her as he threw his leather off and worked the buttons on his flannel shirt. She watched, teeth biting her lower lip in anticipation. Tan skin with splashes of dark ink were revealed to her inch by inch. Her own dark eyes were feasting on the display. Even though she’d seen him naked a thousand times, she felt like every time was the first. It still felt new. He still made her feel the butterflies.
A crooked smiled crossed his lips as he removed his shirt and went to the buckle on his belt. Isabelle moved from her spot, eager to taste him. She moved towards him on her knees, his hands immediately steadying her as they settled around her waist. She only smiled up at him as she laid her lips across his scarred and tatted chest. A heavy hand tangled itself into her hair, rings pulling at the strands. A low groan escaped his lips as she moved over his chest and to the spot just below his ear that made him come alive under her touch. She licked a path from his collarbone to his neck, small hands sliding over the firm muscles of his abdomen. She let a delicate finger trace the trail of dark hair that disappeared under his jeans and his hand immediately tightened in her hair.
“I need you, querida…” A hand stopped her from continuing and she nodded. Foreplay was not a necessity at this point.
Angel gripped the edge of her shirt, dragging it slowly up her body. She could feel her nipples peak once the cool air met her overheated skin. His rough hands palmed each breast once her shirt was out of the way. She pushed herself further into him, urging him to be greedy and take all of her. His mouth descended on hers again as he went back to her shorts, now pushing them down to reveal herself. She maneuvered the shorts off her body, throwing them behind her.
Angel gently pushed her back onto the bed and she obeyed. He went to work on his own pants once again, his gaze never leaving hers. She could hear the thud of his boots as he removed them, his boxers and jeans following. He grasped himself, letting her see the effect she had over him. Isabelle moaned, intoxicated off the sight. She rubbed her thighs together impatiently, blood pumping to her center at an alarming rate.
“Ángel…” She purred softly, knowing the cadence in which she said his name would bring him to her. And it did. He moved over her, caging her in as he attacked her neck and chest. His facial hair scratched at her skin, but the burn only heightened her arousal. His hands moved everywhere and all at once. She returned the sentiments in kind. Her hands ran down his back, her hips arching up into his to persuade him inside. His hard flesh was nestled between her legs, teasing her opening.
“Ready for me, baby?”
His lips were right by her ear, pulling her further under the waves of passion she was riding. She answered him by opening her legs wider, ensuring he slipped into her slightly. It was a teaser. A promise of what was to come.
He groaned above her at the action. He sat up and gripped himself, rubbing along her swollen lips. He was coating himself in her essence, readying them both for the plunge. Slowly, almost painfully, Angel entered her. The feeling was euphoric.
“Fuck, baby…” He cursed lowly against her collarbone, forehead pressed tight to her cheek.
Isabelle moaned, limbs tightening around his body as he began to thrust lazily above her. She dug her nails into is back, aware of how much he was a slave to the sensation. She was awarded with a hiss and a sharp thrust of his hips, her cervix reaping the benefits. She bit hard into her lip as the sound of her slickened walls reverberated in the room, the sound of him entering her obscene.
“Oh, Angel…fuck, right there.” She whimpered, head thrown back so that his mouth could have free reign of her flesh. He was balancing over her, the angle of his thrusts now more pronounced. A heavy hand with thick silver rings came to her throat and rested there. Her pulse jumped at the action, inexplicably turned on by it. He squeezed lightly and a moan shot past her lips in delight.
“You like that?” He growled into her ear, hips punctuating his words.
Isabelle’s body answered for her as her walls clutched him tighter, a slight spasm rolling through her. She used her foot to urge him deeper, urged him to penetrate her soul. She knew it was impossible, but she could never get enough of him. He always left her craving for more, even after they’d both satiated the other. It was an ongoing cycle…one that she didn’t want to end.
The headboard began to thump against the wall with his rapid movements, his end nearing. Angel squeezed her neck again, tighter than the last, while his forehead rested against hers. The moment was highly erotic and it made Isabelle’s spine arch harshly off the bed.
She could see the comprehension in his eyes, recognizing how close she was. She watched as he removed his hand from her and brought it to his mouth, using his tongue to slicken it. Her eyes rolled back and her toes curled when she felt his calloused, spit-soaked fingers assault her clit. An unintelligible sound left her throat as she tensed and rolled with the waves of her intense orgasm.
Angel continued to fuck her through it, catching each contraction with his hips. Only towards the end, when her body was tremoring in small bouts, did he hold still. He looked down at her twisted body, a post-coitus glow now coloring her tan skin. Her chest rose and fell with deep breaths, her walls still fighting to suck him in.
“Damn, you’re still going.” He commented in amazement, eyes glued to where they were both still joined.
Isabelle whined as he began to move again to chase his own bliss. He stayed upright as he moved, captivated by the way she accepted him. She could feel the slickness between her thighs, aiding Angel’s thrusts. His hands held her wide, his tongue peeking from the confines of his bearded lips. A wayward strand of ink-colored hair fell into is eyes. He clenched his jaw and gritted his teeth as he moved inside of her, the chords in his neck prominent as he neared the finish line.
“Shit, baby…I’m gonna cum.” He breathed as he gave two more thrusts and stopped, gripping her fleshy thighs as he released within her walls.
She savored the feeling, watching from beneath hooded eyes as he threw his head back and gave himself over to her completely. It was a hypnotic sight and one she would never tire of.
He eased up his hold on her, red indentions in her skin replacing his fingers. She longed for his marks on her body, the proof that he was there before and would be again. He grimaced as he slowly eased out of her slack body, soaking up the way he spilled from her depths. He took his time. He always did. He had a fascination about teasing her body once he’d made her cum. It was deliciously cruel.
She let out a wince as he rubbed himself against her, coating them both in stickiness. He bumped her abused clit and she jerked away, overstimulated and exhausted. He snickered at her reaction, pleased to see her so thoroughly fatigued.
“Ángel…you know how sensitive I get.” She gently chastised, unable to close her legs against his ministrations. He stood between them, hands now lovingly caressing her thighs and hips. He got especially tender after sex and liked to be constantly touching her in some form or fashion. It was a side to Angel no one but her got to see. And she was addicted to it.
“God, you look so fucking good like this.” His hands smoothed up her hips from her thighs, and finally to her breasts. He cupped them in his hands, teasing her nipples back into hardened peaks.
Isabelle found herself blushing from both his words and his actions. The way he was staring down at her made her feel like she was the only person he saw…the only one he’d ever want to see.
“Lemme take a picture of you, mi amor.” He licked his lips seductively, attempting to persuade her.
Unfortunately, it was working. The man had swagger.
“En serio?” She threw back with a raised eyebrow. She had a smile on her face, finding his boldness amusing.
He continued to caress her body, going from her breasts and back down to her stomach and thighs. His hands were rough from hard labor, but he touched with a softness that made her beg for more. The man was a complete oxymoron. He looked mean. He looked tough. He looked like he’d kick your ass. But underneath he was the true definition of a gentleman. He spoke with wisdom that many overlooked. And he was always the first to show his love. He was hers. In every way possible.
“I can take it on runs with me. Something I can use when you aren’t with me.” He bent down and rubbed his facial hair into her neck, still trying to plead his case for a picture. “No one will see it but me.”
Isabelle found herself ready to say yes before he’d even started begging. The man was a charmer and he knew how to use it to his advantage.
“Hey, Angel! Bishop called. We gotta head out.” EZ’s voice suddenly cut through the mood and the closed bedroom door.
Angel sighed, knowing he’d lost his chance to convince her. She laughed, running her fingers through his hair as he collapsed against her chest.
“I don’t wanna go.” He pouted with a sigh, lips grazing the side of her breast. She smiled warmly at his reluctance to leave her, mirroring his feeling.
“Will you be home later?”
“Yeah, should be. If it changes I’ll let you know.” He replied sleepily, her motions in his hair causing him to become far too relaxed.
“You should go, mi amor…Don’t need EZ coming in to drag you back.” She joked as he began to lift himself from her body.
“Like to see him try.” He flirted with a wink, his hair now ruffled from her fingers. He helped her sit up, hands cradling her face. They kissed, tongues moving together in tandem. His fingers tangled in her hair, something she noticed he did often.
“Te quiero, mi dulce.” He mumbled against her lips, soft brown eyes reflecting the sincerity in his words and voice.
Isabelle caught his lips again, stroking his biceps. “Te quiero, mi Ángel.” She replied once they’d broken apart.
He began to get dressed, handing her clothes to her as he went. When the last button on his flannel was done, he moved towards her and kissed her quickly on the lips. Isabelle tightened the sash on her robe, forgoing redressing until she cleaned up Angel’s mess.
“We’ll finish that conversation when I get back.” He warned with a ringed finger pointed in her direction. A dangerous smirk adorned his lips, that playful look back in his eyes.
“We’ll see about that.” She teased, knowing she was a goner. “Cuidado.” She pleaded in a more serious tone, catching his eye as he walked to the bedroom door. He grinned, a mixture of love and mischief.
“Always am, baby.” He opened the door and shot her one last heart-melting smile before he was shouting for his brother. “Let’s go, Prospect!”
Isabelle shook her head and laughed, listening to them bicker as they left. She felt her cheeks heat when she overhead EZ teasing Angel about what he’d heard. Angel being Angel, only boasted, not the least bit embarrassed.
She listened to them drive off, heart swelling and thighs sticking. Angel always knew how to give the best goodbyes.
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