#i am diagnosed with: depression anxiety autism adhd bpd

[r0qdkill]

I cant see a psychiatrist for so long the waitlist is insane, but i need to so bad the amount of things that are wrong with me. Theres so many things that I'm either undiagnosed with or misdiagnosed with. idk what to do

like ive realised that its possible i could have bipolar type 2, ocd, and dpdr and that ive been misdiagnosed with other things but its all so confusing so many things overlap. I just want help but i cant even help myself if I don't know whats the problem

[straycalamities]

back to self-analyzing what the fucks going on in my brainium

[actuallyverynormalbtw]

i dont like to talk about self-diagnosis because i dont enjoy people making assumptions about me, my illnesses, and my diagnostic status. but i will say:

i have self diagnosed and gone on to be medically validated with an official diagnosis. multiple times actually. i was never wrong about my self-diagnoses.

however, i have been misdiagnosed by professionals FIVE TIMES. and let me tell you, a professional diagnosis being wrong is far more harmful than a self-diagnosis being wrong.

if your self diagnosis is wrong, maybe you used the wrong language or put yourself in a box or now feel invalid and whatnot. but if your professional diagnosis is wrong, it can lead to abuse, medical trauma, panic attacks, issues with medication, even suicide.

i was misdiagnosed with BPD when i was 15 by a psychologist that i spoke to for hardly even 10 minutes. this diagnosis was based on my parent's description of my reactions to abuse, and the diagnosis was used to validate and excuse their abuse.

i was misdiagnosed with MDD when i was 12 and put through several different types of anti-depressants. we never found anything that worked, because it was actually ADHD and dissociation, but i did end up with panic attacks and insomnia all throughout middle/highschool!

when i self-diagnosed with autism however, it saved my life. it took me out of active suicidality because i was able to finally able to accept myself after years of feeling like i am just "being a person wrong". i had the knowledge to accomodate for myself and the language to advocate for myself. this was life changing. even if i was wrong, which i wasnt, i dont see how it couldve caused any harm.

my opinions on self-diagnoses arent black and white, and im not entirely settled on them either, but i do think this is important to understand. doctors and psychologists are not all knowing. we live in a time where we can access thousands of dollars worth of university level education on the internet, even the same exact resources medical students use. plenty of people are capable of interpreting themselves and that information to come to a conclusion about what they are experiencing and what might help.

sure, self-diagnosis might be biased. but a professional is most likely going to be just as biased, and possibly less aware of it. its just silly to use bias as a primary argument when it is an inescapable feature of human psychology. there is a reason ADHD is underdiagnosed in women. there is a reason anxiety disorders are underdiagnosed in men.

an incorrect self-diagnosis wont take away resources or your space in your comminities. but professional misdiagnosis can cause real damage.

(i am not trying to fear-monger about professional diagnosis, moreso responding to the fear-mongering surrounding self-diagnosis)

[damagedcoda6669]

how did youknow youbhad bpd? what were the main "symptoms" ?? soryif it comes off as personal or uncomfy you dont hsveto answer

(im rlly rlly rlly autistic abt bpd PREPARE 4 AN ENTIRE BIBLE ABT HOW I DISCOVERED I HAD IT)

ive exhibited symptoms of bpd my entire life (it usually starts 2 present in childhood or early adulthood, it comes from childhood abuse/neglect) i only started 2 notice something was wrong in my tweens/early teens, when malachi became my favorite person and every1 was calling me mentally ill and weird and obsessive. ive known my entire life i was neurodivergent (first started therapy at 6 or 7, diagnosed with bipolar + autism + adhd + depression + anxiety RLLY early on) but there was something else that felt wrong 2 me. at that age i didnt rlly know what 2 search 4 or who 2 talk 2, so i just went on google and searched "love disorders" and obsessive love disorder came up (which isnt even in the DSM iirc) and i posted on google plus saying i likely had that and was shot down IMMEDIATELY 4 "self diagnosing" so i didnt revisit it again until a few years later.

after my breakup in 2021 i felt like it hurt WAY MORE than was normal. i stumbled across a video abt bpd during that time period and it resonated with me way 2 much. im impulsive, i have angry outbursts, im constantly suicidal, i self harm, i have extreme mood swings, i dont know who i am and ive always just mirrored other ppl, i dissociate, i have black and white thinking, i view ppl as all good or all bad and i split, i have consistently unstable relationships, i get attached 2 ppl more than i should be, and i have a paralyzing, nauseating fear of abandonment. i have every symptom in the diagnostic criteria.

i brought up the possibility of me having bpd with my mom i think (i had no one else 2 go 2 becuz all of my friends abandoned me and my parents took away my internet access) and i was shot down again, with my mom saying the CLASSIC "(insert family member) has bpd and shes crazy. ur normal. stop pretending theres something wrong with u. if u had bpd u'd be vindictive and petty and evil. do u think ur those things?"

once i figured out how 2 get my internet access back, maryland dude forced the bpd label on2 me becuz he wanted 2 explain my "abusive" behaviors (he was abusing me but tried 2 gaslight me in2 thinking i had a victim complex and that it was the other way around) and i became uncomfortable with the label becuz he made it seem like if i had bpd then i was a bad person. i continued researching the disorder becuz it still resonated with me even though i was now insecure abt it.

i became comfortable with the label again after he abandoned me, and i brought it up with my therapist. my therapist would HEAVILY DENY that i had bpd, telling me that "if u had bpd u would be attempting suicide 4 attention" "u fit the diagnostic criteria but ur autistic so all of ur symptoms can just be attributed 2 autism srry" "ive had clients with bpd and if u were like them u wouldve had an outburst in my office and be yelling at me by now" and she would even smile at me whenever i brought up my bpd becuz she thought it was funny that i thought i had it, i think. the first time i brought it up with her she told me "its rlly irresponsible 2 self diagnose after reading liek two articles online abt some extreme disorder becuz u think ur broken. ur not broken. dont self diagnose with bpd" and i had to EXPLAIN 2 HER that i wasnt self diagnosing and that id researched it in depth 4 years actually and that she was making assumptions. horribly ableist towards ppl with cluster b disorders, this is a MASSIVE RED FLAG but i didnt switch therapists becuz i was still living with my parents at this point and i felt out of control in every aspect of my life 4 this reason, i didnt even see switching therapists as an option.

then in 2023, while i was homeless, i got evaulated by a psychiatrist. i discussed my bpd with him and finally got diagnosed. i told my therapist i was diagnosed with bpd and she said something like "well im not always gonna be able 2 catch everything" BUT I WAS TELLING U ABT MY BPD 4 MONTHS!!!!! so glad i dont have that therapist anymore but now i dont have one at all, so liek.. hrmmm >:c

im gonna end this by saying.. self diagnosis is valid!!! its so hard 2 get a bpd diagnosis becuz its so demonized and stigmatized, that even those in the mental health system r ableist towards the disorder and those who have it. diagnosis is not always an option with disorders like bpd, and thats so frustrating. its so hard 2 find help becuz every1 thinks ur crazy. but ur not crazy!!! i love all my fellow bpders, i know how agonizing and it is 2 live this tormented life. if u suspect u have bpd, the bpd community welcomes u and supports u!!! and i do 2 :3

[lostlosersclub]

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

•hello. my name is niccolo, or nico for short. my pronouns are he/they/xe/it. i am a gay demiaroace gnc boy. •i am a minor. i block freely. •i struggle a lot with my mental health. i use this blog quite often to vent. •if i seem to be in crisis, please do not try to cheer me up. it wont work. •i have a discord server. feel free to ask for the link any time. •ask to be my mutual. •please do not ask if we are friends / call me your friend unless we are close. •i have a rough time with communication. please use tonetags.

WARNINGS.

blog owner struggles with following issues. browse at your own risk. vents are always tagged. all are diagnosed or suspected by doctors. •autism •adhd •ocd •potential bpd •potential ptsd •anorexia •anxiety •panic disorder •chronic depression

this includes discussion of:

•sh •suicidal thoughts •self starving •dysmorphia •weight issues •intrusive thoughts

tag system:

special interests:

• osemanverse

•conan gray 💧⭐️

• pjo, hoo, toa

• spiderman

��� car seat headrest

tv shows:

• brooklyn 99

• community

• the owl house

• amphibia

• adventure time

• shera princess of power

• what we do in the shadows

• scott pilgrim (movie, books, and show)

video games:

• stardew valley

• sally face

• night in the woods

• the quarry

• the sims

misc:

• SFX gore. (i forgot to mention before that i enjoy sfx gore and horror. i do not want to see actual gore.)

• greek mythology

kins:

• nico di angelo (pjo) (headcannons here!)

• hunter (toh)

• charlie spring (heartstopper)

hobbies:

•instruments (drums, guitar, bass, and piano)

•drawing

•reading

other socials:

•pinterest: St4rryN1ghtm4r3

•discord: mutuals can dm me for link

•roblox: dead_boyy0

☆i think thats all, bye☆

[gab-has-adhd]

HELLO, I AM CURRENTLY IN A GREAT NEED OF HELP ⚠️⚠️⚠️

PLEASE STOP SCROLLING FOR A MINUTE AND READ THIS POST 🙏🏼

Thank you.

My name is Gabriel, I'm a 28 years old disabled agender person. I have ADHD, BPD, generalized anxiety, chronic depression and untreated PTSD. I am an artist, and I have no other job besides this one, for now.

This is my girlfriend, Olivia. She is 30, agender just like me, disabled just like me. She has BPD as well as untreated PTSD, and she is autistic.

For the last three years, we were surviving thanks to a monthly allowance she was given due to her being disabled and unable to find or keep a job. This allowance has been stopped due to her being judged "not disabled enough" and "capable of finding a job". She isn't. I don't want to give too many details about our life, but she is currently deeply incapacitated and cannot work. She has asked to get her autism diagnosed on a psychiatric level, which is necessary for her to be given the proper care for her issues.

We will now be given an allowance for job seekers. But we have learned today that this allowance, for the next two months, will be much less than it usually is because of complicated details I do not have the right mind to explain right now.

We will be given around 700€ for a month. 1400€ total, for the months of March and April. You can imagine how 1400€ for two months is a ridiculously low amount of money for two people.

I will try to find a tiny job that is compatible with my own struggles. In the meantime, getting help from other sources will really, really come in handy.

I AM AN ARTIST. I DRAW DIGITAL ILLUSTRATIONS, AND I AM OPEN FOR COMMISSIONS. ALTHOUGH I AM STILL STRUGGLING TO GET OUT OF A HIATUS, I WOULD BE VERY HAPPY TO GET MORE COMMISSIONS. HERE ARE A FEW EXAMPLES OF WHAT I CAN DRAW.

AND HERE IS MY PRICE CHART:

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN COMMISSIONNING ME, YOU CAN CONTACT ME ON THIS TUMBLR ACCOUNT OR ON @lubelzoldyck-artworks , YOU CAN ALSO SEND ME A MAIL AT shynesslubel.art@outlook.com 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

IF YOU ARE UNINTERESTED IN COMMISSIONNING ME, PLEASE CONSIDER D0NAT1NG, EVEN A SINGLE BUCK CAN HELP. YOU CAN D0NAT3 ON THIS LINK:

IF YOU CANNOT COMMISSION NOR D0N4T3 (AND I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY) PLEASE, PLEASE AT LEAST SHARE THIS POST AROUND. REBLOG IT, SHARE IT ON OTHER WEBSITES, GIVE IT VISIBILITY, I AM PRACTICALLY BEGGING HERE. PLEASE HELP US.

[littlelillycatsworld]

🐈‍⬛🎃introduction🎃🐈‍⬛

updated 28/9/24

English is my 4th language I rely on Google translate alot sorry if I get things wrong (Korean, mandarin, Cantonese then English)

I also speak Japanese and Thai not quite fluent yet but close

only follow me if your part of the ed or sh community I don't want to expose this to anyone else

I post alot of really dark shit about my childhood and whatnot. it's not happy it's depressing but this is my place to exist in a relatively safe way

do not report I'm not pro just pro recovery for everyone I'm just not ready yet but when I am I'll get professional help

DNI if you are homophobic/transphobic fatphobic racist or ana coach

my name is Lilly (not my actual name)

I'm 19

I use she/her/they pronouns

lesbian with a loving gf of 3 years🥰

I have depression, anxiety, BPD, ADHD, and autism (all diagnosed) and ed

pro recovery for everyone

I'm last time I checked 36.2kg BMI 15.5 and im 153cm

ballet is my passion (I go to school for that)

I was adopted at birth by a Korean mother and Chinese father (rip I miss you)

I'm from Scotland

I'm pretty ok at art

pro LGBT and pro choice

sex positive

I love kpop and nu metal

my favourite kpop group is twice and my bias is Sana

my favourite metal band is Korn

I'm an ex-taekwondow national team member

and current national ballet member

personal tag is #네네

meal logs tag is 네네 meals

ed tags #네네's ed #네네's 3d

feel free to interact with me but don't be creepy I'll just block you.

anyway I hope I can make some friends who understand what it's like with an ed ☺️

my dms are open if anyone needs someone to talk to. if you have any questions feel free to ask

my backup account is @little-lilly-cat

[veryinjuredperson]

i'm not sure how many people will actually see this post, but anyone who does, hi! i'm vip, and i have some pressing questions on my ol' mind!

so, i'm... severly mental ill, to say the least of it, diagnosed with depression, adhd, anxiety, bpd, professional suspicions of autism and ptsd, and personal suspicions of some sort of dissociative disorder.

to make this easier, im going to breakdown what's been happening...

so, i can't say i've ever noticed being GONE from the present per say, but it's more like... i'm sort of present at all times, but have different personalities or voices who crop up and direct me. my tones change, sometimes my accent changes, my mood changes, the words i use change, certain skill sets might change, thought processes change, etc.

i've struggled with identity for a long time, i just don't like to share that fact usually, particularly because it scares the shit out of me and also due to the fact that i am constantly telling myself that i must be an attention seeker and a faker and a liar, even though i have only spoken about my suspicions of potentially being a system with a single trusted person.

some voices have names, there are several who are at least based on fictional characters, and others who aren't... sometimes i can communicate more clearly between separate voices, and other times it feels like one train of thought that's jumping back and forth for a single mental conversation, like i say something and then respond to myself but it still doesn't feel like just me? i have had people point out that i'm acting different before, but i have a consistent stream of consciousness, so i feel like that's kind of... idk... i feel like that's not how systems work, is it? bc it's less like individual people who take the reigns and more like i am a sort of central core, and then there are little voices or influences, some stronger or bolder than others, who sort of... blend in with me? and influence what i'm doing... so like... i know what's going on, i feel in control, but i don't feel... normal?

if anyone has any way they can help me decipher some of this, please let me know. for now, i've taken to using plural kit and simply plural to log these personality shifts.

i do intend to speak to a psychiatrist and/or at least a therapist about this, but i haven't been able to get that far quite yet. any help in the meantime would be greatly appreciated.

( i have trauma, but a lot of my childhood from at least anything prior to 6th grade is rather blurry, there's memories here and there, some clearer than others, some just gone, i know i've had some pretty bad medical trauma all prior to the age of three, but also some beyond that, i know my parents have always fought a lot, i know that i never stayed in one school for longer than a single grade year, i know i had very inconsistent friendships, i know i played pretend or even "played games with myself" including "hide and seek" which was... generally just sad... but yeah, i do have trauma, i js dont know if it's enough to cause what happened? oh! i also started school a year earlier than most, so i turned 10 part way into 5th grade, i know a lot of sources say that this stuff had to happen prior to... 9? 7? it's unclear... but... just letting that be known )

[my-cannibal-romance]

intro!!

ollie: 13

my favorite colors are red and neon green!!

some bands i like: MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, early p!atd, early fallout boy, pierce the veil, all of Frank Ieros bands, sleeping with sirens, slipknot, koRn, blink-182, all time low, flyleaf and more!!

some solo artists i like: GERARD WAY MY FAVORITE that’s basically it lolz

i’m emo please moot me if ur emo/scene/scenemo or fw any of my interests (below)

my special interests are My Chemical Romance and Gerard Way!!!!!

my other interests: mushrooms, harry potter, hunger games, maze runner, hello kitty and sanrio, ART!!!!, scene style

TW!!! i’m mentally ill!! i have diagnosed depression, ptsd, adhd, and anxiety. i have self diagnosed autism and am in the process of getting a diagnosis. it’s suspected i have bipolar and bpd. plz dont joke about my SH or tell me to kms even jokingly!! i will take it seriously!!

please use tone tags!!

i’m looking for friends!!

homophobic/transphobic or racist and adults dni!!!

[vulturesrottencorpse]

autism isn't silly

titles self explanatory. I just wanna rant BC recently tiktok has been making disabilities very much more known (since around 2020)

One of the most "popular" of these disabilities are autism and also ADHD. Of course theirs others ppl are idolizing (Tourette's, bpd, DID, ect) But I don't have any of those so I can't really speak on that.

What I do have (diagnosed at least,) is autism, ADHD, anxiety and depression, some of the most popular and idolised disabilities on tiktok.

No, autism isn't "silly sharks dinosaurs hyperfixations!! Super smart and silly and funny!!". ADHD isn't "haha silly can't focus so energetic!!" Depression isn't "omg I'm so emo and sad nobody gets me" and anxiety isn't "oh I don't like talking to people and I can't keep my hands still"

This should be obvious but it's so often out like this that it's making me pissed.

And then theres people who'll tell you "autism/adhd isn't a disability it's a super ability!" Which invalidates your struggles. Yeah, I know some niche facts about fish and dinosaurs, I also don't know how to socialise with anybody on my own, I lay in bed all day and do nothing as hours pass by no matter how much I want to get up I just can't. I can't focus on anything unless it interests me even if I know I have to. I am constantly excluded from social groups because people either find me annoying/weird or too quiet and boring. I'm constantly depressed because I'm so lonely yet I'm too terrified to actually reach out and make new connections so I can't *stop* being lonely. I'm self aware about all my problems so therapists can't do much other than say "well you're very self aware" or "have you tried setting Alarms?". It is a constant cycle that goes on and on. And then I get told that all of this is a "superpower?" It's a disability. It disables me from doing things neurotipical people can do. Just because I might be good at picking up rhythm or naming a few facts about animals doesn't mean my autism/ADHD is some gift from the heavens. It sucks. It's made my life so hard but every time I try to explain it to someone they don't understand. Or they think they do, but they don't. Because it's impossible to describe this to someone without autism without them going "oh, well that's normal" because they've experienced it from time to time, but when I tell them the way I experience it is 5x worse for me, they say I'm exaggerating, that I need to toughen up, that it's "just how the world works".

I'm honestly sick of being treated like I'm not human. Like I don't have feelings that get hurt, like I don't have bad experiences or things that can ruin my life. Because autism is treated as some silly little personality trait. It's not. It's a fucking disability

Btw acoustic isn't funny. Stop

[the-perfect-day-to-die]

Little introduction

Big TRIGGER WARNINGS, such as self harm, suicidal ideation, somewhat distorted eating, self hatred and in general mental illnesses. Block me if you feel uncomfortable with what I'm posting.

This is not my main blog so i can't follow people back. I mainly come from Vent app.

⚫ I am lesbian and I am taken, which means that NO I am not interested,I have a girlfriend and I'm absolutely happy. And no, I am not interested in men WHATSOEVER. Nor I'm interested in inappropriate conversations. But I'm happy to chat.

⚫ I am acespec (graysexual and demisexual/demiromantic).

⚫ I am mentally ill. I have cptsd, ptsd, bpd (borderline personality disorder), depression and anxiety disorder. And YES I am self diagnosed and I'm very much pro self diagnosis (only well researched ones).

⚫ I am poor and i live in a country with shit mental health care so I can't afford therapy (which i need) or getting any official diagnosis.

⚫ I have autism and adhd (both self diagnosed).

⚫ I self harm (it is also an addiction for me) and NO I DO NOT romanticize or glorifyi self harming behavior. If anything i always try to help people if i can with it. But here i do vent about it and how it makes me feel.

⚫ I am highly suicidal. I had two attempts before. Telling me it's not worth it or i shouldn't think about it won't work and it's not helpful.

⚫ I do live with my abuser still. My abuser is bitch mother. Yes that's how call her even though she deserves to be called even worse for what she has done to me.

⚫ I am pagan so please don't preach. If you'll respect my religion, i will respect yours.

⚫ I am very pro-Palestine and pro-Ukraine. I hate tankies (aka communists that are pro-russia and all that bs). I come from a European country that's been occupied by Soviet union for more than 40 years before so my stance is clear.

⚫ I do accept DMs but i am not afraid to block and report if anything.

⚫ I have body dysmorphia.

⚫ I hate assumptions and rushed recommendations. If you want to help me, maybe ask first how can you be helpful. Otherwise don't be surprised if I'll be very dismissive or even aggressive.

⚫ Be nice with me and I'll be nice with you.

[noriartz]

okay who are your ocs. this is a free card to infodump bc i am neurodivergent and i love love love love LOVE your blogg !!!!!!! eep

AAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING!!

I just realized i never properly introduced them here on tumblr so here we go!

I call them "The Fruit Group". They are a group of queer Indonesians who just started highschool together.

1. Yovi (she/her)

She has diagnosed ADHD and depression as well as self diagnosed autism/ASD!

2. Nabil (they/them)

They have self diagnosed BPD, HSP, and generalized anxiety disorder!

3. Yuda (he/him)

He has self diagnosed OCD, dependent personality disorder, and C-PTSD! (I also want to explore pluralism and DID with him but i haven't done enough research)

4. Naufal (he/they)

He has diagnosed level 1 autism/ASD and self diagnosed social anxiety disorder as well as avoidant personality disorder!

Their dynamic at the start of highschool is more or less:

Yovi has a huuugeee gay crush for Nabil, but is too socially awkward to properly act on it

Nabil is too oblivious to catch Yovi's crush on them and just thinks of her as their best friend

Yovi rants about her crush for Nabil to Yuda, who is the only openly gay person in the whole grade (he's sorta the queer therapist friend in the school for all struggling gays)

Nabil thinks they have a crush on Naufal but it's actually just gender envy

Naufal has a huuge crush on Yuda but is still dealing with internalized homophobia and denial

Yuda is the type of person to change boyfriends after a few weeks because he can't keep a relationship for too long but he desperately needs one. He finds Naufal cute but knows that he is homophobic

Yovi and Yuda are theater friends, Yovi and Naufal are anime friends, Yovi and Nabil are best friends, Nabil and Yuda are fellow class president and class vice-president, Nabil and Naufal are sports friends, Yuda and Naufal are in totally different circles except for their mutual friends.

Again, thank you so much for asking!!

[rippedapart101]

Now onto the fun part, an intro post.

Hi, you can call me whatever you want. Rip, ra, 101, insults, I don't really mind.

This blog is intended to be a safe space where I can vent without the one I love knowing. I cannot hurt them more than I already do

As you can guess, I am taken. I'm engaged, and over 20, not saying a specific age because I don't feel like it.

I am diagnosed with BPD, Anxiety, Depression, an eating disorder, POTS, Fibromyalgia and Hypermobility.

I have been peer diagnosed with Autism (15+), ADHD (7), OSDD (6), C-PTSD (6)

I aim for functionality! I can't ever be fixed, but that's fine.

I guess that's all for now, I'll edit this as and when needed, but for now this is functional as I aim to be. DMS will be open, asks are already open and anon is available for whatever people could need.

[angelic-empath]

heya tumblr pals !! ,, I am making my introduction and first post on tumblr ,, !! I hope we can all get along ,, •<:3 !!

(This is not going to include my interact and DNI and boundaries in this post this is just a introduction)

my main chosen online name is enzo feel free to make silly nicknames with it ,,

I am thirteen years old (my birthday is November 26 2010) ,, I am plus sized and white !!

my pronouns are he / him and I hoard xenogenders and neopronouns and just in general labels !! ,,

Labels make me feel comfortable ,,

I have a pretty complex Identity but majority of it is in my cc.prns page I won’t be explaining every single individual label I use for my sexuality on this post ,,,

but I’ll try to simplify it a bit ,, im a transgender male (FTM) ((have been out for three years)) with a very complex sexuality !! ,,

I am other hearted I think ?? I am a shapeshifter kin & a non-religious angel kin !!

As you can tell (or maybe not it’s okay if you didn’t know) I use a slight typing quirk which is mainly using spaced exclamation points , kaomojis, and the little “ ,, “ !!

I am diagnosed with ADHD , autism , anxiety and depression and self diagnose with decently heavy research.

Self diagnoses: BPD

I have a ESSA (emotional support stuffed animal) I bring to school their name is cosmo (close people and myself nickname him momo)

I’m not gonna get into all of my interests because that would need a whole other post but here are my special interests: sharks, mitski, and my little pony !!

end !!!



[brokend0ll]

so, i wanna talk about something and it is about my suspected bpd

I have thought about this for long and never told it to anyone but I have had the thought of me possibly having bpd since years now

My latest ex who is highly educated on psychology also told me I do have it and now also my therapist suspects it in me

I can see how it makes sense, I have hurt so much in the past and I have hurt others because of that so much and I am extremly ashamed of myself for this

In the past I have done terrible things to others emotionally when my abandoment issues got triggered, mostly my one ex

I can see how I have all the symptoms of bpd and still I am so unsure, what if I dont have it? what if this is a wrong suspicion again?

I do not have autism, I got tested for that already

I do have adhd, anxiety and depression mixed diagnosed already but all this doesnt explain my struggles like how a bpd diagnosis would

For a time I thought I may have bipolar disorder but my "up mood" phases never last long, i never feel good either, its just as if I was on drugs but I still always feel this big hole inside of me

I always related to people with bpd but I am not someone to self diagnose so I always was thinking, yeah no, youre not gonna say you may have that

So now I am kind of happy my therapist is working good and seeing what I have but I am also scared of it maybe really being bpd as that is definetly not an easy diagnosis

[stephenslover]

about me

name: you can call me mike or majkl, or stan!

age: i am 20 years old and my birthday is september 1st 2004!

gender: i am a cisgender male and my pronouns are he/him (pronouns page)

sexuality: my identities are fictosexual, aroace, and gay

country: i am from the usa but ethnically i am macedonian-english

languages: i can speak english fluently and i can read and write russian

status: very much taken by my partner stephen stotch

interests: birds (since i was 5), russian language (since i was 15), south park, stranger things, ROBLOX TREASURE QUEST (pls be my friend if you like this game oml you’ve probably seen me my display name is stephenslvr and im level 1.1k+), pony town, being outside, drawing/coloring, cats, etc

fyi: i have autism (diagnosed age 10), adhd (diagnosed age 7), anxiety (diagnosed age 13), depression (diagnosed age 14), and am suspecting bpd but i refuse to self diagnose and am going to talk to my psychiatrist about it soon. i am also a full time serious selfshipper and am committed to my partner, stephen stotch from south park. also i am mike wheeler irl and have been since june 2022 and i heavily kin stan marsh since may 2023

dni: if you selfship with stephen stotch (dont even LOOK at me i fucking hate you), under 16, radfem/radqueer/radinclus/radexclus/pretty much rad anything, anti selfship, pr0ship, basic dni, if you headcanon stephen to be a p3d0/gr00m3r (ky$ /srs)

about my sona/self insert

name: majkl “mike” krstov/stotch

age: 36

gender: cisgender male, he/him

sexuality: gay

ethnicity: macedonian american

languages: eng/mkd

status: married to stephen stotch

interests: birds (works as an ornithologist), painting, playing video games, building with legos

about: mike is a character i created for the sole purpose of shipping myself with stephen. his appearance is based on both mike wheeler and stan marsh, but he is not related to or associated with them in any way

art of him

selfship art