#self haarm

[wellthatsunfortunate444]

"how to stop wanting to kms over trivial things, no borax no glue"

[littlelillycatsworld]

I don't know if I can do this I wasn't meant to make it this far

[pumpkino0]

I don't cut myself... but then I drink 'till I'm nauseous, smoke 'till my head hurts, get close 'till it burns.

Why do I hurt myself so much?

[freakkcals]

SFX MAKEUP NOT REAL

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[unicornbwbles]

We got em 🔥

[idnwtdta]

its hard when you feel

take a slice - in tour head

rosyln - in your heart

fine line - in your body

and poison tree in tour soul

[pumpkino0]

Trying to get sober from weed, relapsed on self harm 👍🏻

[stillhere-erehllits]

I nursed my coffee a little too long today and didn’t finish it until 2:30pm so now I can’t sleep. Sometime in the last 5 years I lost all tolerance to caffeine and it keeps me up all night if I have any past noon.

On a side note, I have therapy tomorrow and I get to talk to my therapist about shame and self harm. Some very kind folks on here have answered my question about personal experiences with shame and self harm, which has helped me brainstorm quite a bit. I even made a brainstorm sheet on freeform (which I’m still undecided on whether I will show that to my therapist or not).

Sometimes I wish therapy session were much longer. I know I’ll have a lot to say and 53 minutes is never enough.

[beloved-femboyish-girl]

mr. self destruct

they dont know the amnestics dont work and i hope they

EXPLODE

inbetweenthecreeping senhsaation thead ebreast haarms tetrunk hatehands hate legs hate feet, reborn into a fœtal world of burning hate and darkness, no food no water for the dead, the dying, just amnestic-laced oxygen pellet peristaltic dropped through airlock; i grab it as it falls small as sugarcube and close my fistaround it crunch it in my grip, wind up haymaker the cold steel

EXPLODE

burning arm hate hand, animal caged, weapon cased, everything in proper place in samsara in cycle the circle swept round, sphere explosive vessel for explosive man, cage for animal, case for weapon, containing flesh containing hate containing everything and nothing, dust blown back to life blown back to dust

there's no comfort in the interludes of thought and breath so graciously allotted, no comfort in the gracious mercy to forget, no comfort left but the waste of oxygen i crush my fist to burn brighter, bust hotter, pennies on the dollar stolen, earned, in time i will waste a dollar and then ten and then ten thousand, thousand million, i  feel the carbon building in my blood and shove my fist into my mouth and

EXPLODE

slither back  the cube falls on my lap  i hold it in my palm, bring it to my ear and hear it hiss, reacting with itself, combustion presenting external  it smells of life and joy, oxygen and amnestic— a sweet smell to remember, and i remember, not well,

i remember: i explode, this makes me dangerous; i'm a person, this makes me dangerous; that's why i'm in this cell, too weapon to release, too human to destroy, that's why i'm in this cell, defang through bomb disposal, deperson by forgetting, the cheapest option, most ethical option, the safest option, most sensible option,

i bring my palm to my mouth and slip the pellet in  hiss give way to bite, sweet turns bitter, i bite down as it burns brighter hotter faster, life and joy and burning flesh fuming out my nose as I thrust my hands onto the containment vessel, bring my head back, rocket forward and

EXPLODE

not person, person-shaped, burning crude in form of man, plant a palm against the hatch above abyss and swing full strength EXPLODE, burning arm bright hand, fuck light, fuck food, fuck water, fuck humans, fuck the power that gave me life and the power that keeps me here, cock back left jab EXPLODE, burn arm, burn hand in fucking hell, EXPLODEhandEXPLODEhand

EXPLODE

EXPLODE

EXPLODE

EXPLODE

this cage one in thousands

EXPLODE

no point in the violence

EXPLODE

sit and die the same

EXPLODE

no moral.

EXPLODE

[parkerbombshell]

The British are Coming #636

The British are Coming Tuesdays 10:00pm -11:30 pm EST bombshellradio.com Repeats Wednesdays 8:00am - 10:00am EST Matt plays 20 of the best up-and-coming indie, alternative, and rock artists in the UK, some of which you know, but many more that will be new music discoveries. Matt’s deep knowledge of UK music scene and his ear for a banger make The British are Coming a must-listen on Bombshell Radio. #TheBritishAreComing, #Alternative, #Indie, #Rock, #NewMusic, #BombshellRadio Matt Dalzell @britdjmatt The Virginmarys - Where Are You Now English Teacher - Nearly Daffodils Haarm - Do The Right Thing Manatees - Call You A Criminal Bandit - Sad Boys Slaney Bay - Family Tree Lucy Gaffney - Boy Go The Kites - Drunk In Japan Genn - The Sister Of Little Strange - I Get By Dream Nails - Ballpit Jessie Scarlet - Side to Side Captain Starlet - Self Portrait Gold Spectacles - PseudoFriends Reevah - Daylight Savings TV People - Feel Morning Arcade - Aerochrome Ed Cosens - Black Dog Stella Wembley - Wasting My Time (Bionic Visions Dark Ambient Remix) Olympians - Mills and Boon                         Read the full article

[stillhere-erehllits]

heya there

Interesting topic to ask about! For me, I only feel shame around my family. I was raised in a conservative Christian household, where the immediate question was “why would you do this to yourself?” The thing is, if you haven’t been there, it’s very hard to understand. I feel shame because they shame me for it, or else I wouldn’t. Everyone in my family takes their anger out on everyone around them except me. My scars aren’t very visible but I did that BECAUSE I would be shamed for it. There’s a lot of shame and anger, mostly directed at them, but that’s more than enough for me. When I’m around my friends though, weirdly enough, i don’t feel shame. I kind of like the fact that the scars contrast with my bubbly personality and it serves to tell people that I’m GOOD at hiding my feelings and there’s more to me than meets the eye. I’m worried about encountering problems at the doctors office or the working world because I feel like they’ll see them as a weakness. Which is soooo stupid.

You bring up some great points!! I’m happy to hear you can show your scars around friends and feel safe, that’s a sign of good friends.

I also feel shame about my family knowing, though mine don’t overtly know (it’s never been discussed but I’m sure they’ve noticed). It’s like the elephant in the room and I’m not sure they’d ever understand or not look at my scars and feel disgusted/sad/afraid or like a failure themselves. It’s also so frustrating to think they might make it about them if I brought it up; as if it’s their fault because they weren’t there or I couldn’t trust them to ask for help.

You also bring up wonderful points about the medical care systems!!! Have you encountered issues with care or concern for your safety etc. from doctors? My scars are quite obvious and pronounced and my doctors usually just look wide eyed and try to stay professional then ask the required questions of “are you safe?” “Are you still engaging in self harm?” “Would you like medical/psychological support?”.

For work, it’s a hard area to navigate. I wear modest clothing most of the time to avoid any conversations about scars, tattoos, etc. People can be so quick to assume incompetency when they see those things, or ask intrusive or very odd questions. Have you had any issues in work spaces?

[littlelillycatsworld]

what a beautiful day to blow my brains out