#nssi

[andriodslicer]

“you’re doing it for attention”

so what if i am? i’m trying to prove to people that i’m sick and i need help. people need to stop judging the motivation behind someone’s self harm. i don’t care if you’re doing it for attention. you’re valid. if you need attention so bad that you actively hurt yourself to get it then theres something wrong and you deserve help as much as someone who hides their self harm.

i love all of you who do it for attention, i understand you, and i’m here for you if you need anyone to talk to 🫶

[2-m0use]

Hoping these scar nicely and make me feel more valid

[shawdios]

Art from the past three days.

I dont know what skill demon possess us when we’re venting, but DAMN. We didn’t use any refrences for these and they turned out pretty good.

Anger tends to be a dominant emotion for us. Happiness/bliss is rare and very very situational.

NSSI we feel a mix of anger, happiness, and fear towards. Happiness from the act of doing it and seeing the blood. But anger from relapsing OR relapsing because we’re so angry. Then fear from the idea of it getting worse and accidentally doing something life threatening.

[stillhere-erehllits]

I doubt this will make it around to the side of tumblr I need, but I am trying to reach the self-harm community. I am needing some input/ideas/opinions/experiences to help me process ideas for an upcoming therapy session.

I am a full-grown adult (31yo) who self injured for over 15 years on a regular basis. I have been sh free for the last 6 years minus a few relapses. That being said, I am trying to work on the shame aspect of self harm and how it affects self-image, modesty, connection to others. Generally, how withholding my history of self harm and hiding my scars affects a lot of things in daily life. Like activities I might participate in or what I wear (ie. avoiding swimming, dressing modestly, etc).

I’m just looking for everyone’s personal thoughts and experiences with this. Whether you feel shame, or are more open about it. Whether it impacts you or not. Any insight you may have to help me think about my relationship to self harm would be very helpful. Thank you in advance! (And please be kind, I know this is a a sensitive topic for many people 🤍)

[tired-lime08]

I love bruising myself so much. They don't have as immediate results but nobody EVER questions it. Maybe "oh how'd your get that bruise" but that's it. I can do it so easy, just punch myself hard enough, or hit my arm on something hard enough. Other times I can just hit a heavy spoon on me or something, it's so easy, easy to hide, easier to do, lasts a decent amount of time, doesn't scar, can do it almost anywhere on your body, can be done in any place, plus it's that good kinda pain.

[electro-static444]

At this point, I may as well cover my arms with them since some are already there. If my mom catches a glimpse, she'll probably put me in therapy against my will.

[anoldfriendofsome]

A reminder

Trigger Warnings for mentions of SH

To all of those struggling with SH, there is a road out of this even if you doubt there is one.

I wish I could say that the scars on you could disappear but they can't. But instead of taking them as a sign of weakness, take them as a sign of growth.

For the sake of yourself and everyone you love. Make sure to love yourself and all of the damage you have endured and survived. You are a survivor of an addiction, and every day you go on is a sign of your strength.

Wether you're in the vicious cycle of addiction or recovering still after being clean for a long time. You are strong for carrying on in spite of it. Do not let anyone convince you otherwise.

You aren't an attention seeker. You aren't edgy. You are a victim of a deadly addiction, and every day you live is a testament to the human spirit.

[brokensoullol]

Think it's time to repaint the canvas again

[anoldfriendofsome]

My story

Welcome to my blog.

All of this blog has Trigger Warnings for Self Harm, this post additionally mentions Suicide and Toxicity.

I will post semi-frequently.

The purpose of this blog is to provide encouragement and awareness to those suffer with addiction to NSSI. (Non-Suicidal Self Injury)

Be it cutting, bruising, or burning, NSSI shows itself in many ways.

I, personally, was a victim of it myself around a year and a half ago.

I was in a violent, toxic circle of friends whomst encouraged it heavily. Unfortunately, I was part of the crowd who fed into our delusional mindset that telling people to SH would somehow help them. Because of my own foolish actions, along with the actions of others, two people I grew a great bond with in that circle committed suicide. I work every day to fix that mistake.

I hope to provide a place of comfort and care to those whomst suffer from NSSI. I seek to give tactics and advice.

If you wish to be given advice or simply want someone to listen, do not be afraid to drop anything into my ask box.

[jotakira]

I haven't made a day without slicing my thighs open L. O. L.

[stillhere-erehllits]

heya there

Interesting topic to ask about! For me, I only feel shame around my family. I was raised in a conservative Christian household, where the immediate question was “why would you do this to yourself?” The thing is, if you haven’t been there, it’s very hard to understand. I feel shame because they shame me for it, or else I wouldn’t. Everyone in my family takes their anger out on everyone around them except me. My scars aren’t very visible but I did that BECAUSE I would be shamed for it. There’s a lot of shame and anger, mostly directed at them, but that’s more than enough for me. When I’m around my friends though, weirdly enough, i don’t feel shame. I kind of like the fact that the scars contrast with my bubbly personality and it serves to tell people that I’m GOOD at hiding my feelings and there’s more to me than meets the eye. I’m worried about encountering problems at the doctors office or the working world because I feel like they’ll see them as a weakness. Which is soooo stupid.

You bring up some great points!! I’m happy to hear you can show your scars around friends and feel safe, that’s a sign of good friends.

I also feel shame about my family knowing, though mine don’t overtly know (it’s never been discussed but I’m sure they’ve noticed). It’s like the elephant in the room and I’m not sure they’d ever understand or not look at my scars and feel disgusted/sad/afraid or like a failure themselves. It’s also so frustrating to think they might make it about them if I brought it up; as if it’s their fault because they weren’t there or I couldn’t trust them to ask for help.

You also bring up wonderful points about the medical care systems!!! Have you encountered issues with care or concern for your safety etc. from doctors? My scars are quite obvious and pronounced and my doctors usually just look wide eyed and try to stay professional then ask the required questions of “are you safe?” “Are you still engaging in self harm?” “Would you like medical/psychological support?”.

For work, it’s a hard area to navigate. I wear modest clothing most of the time to avoid any conversations about scars, tattoos, etc. People can be so quick to assume incompetency when they see those things, or ask intrusive or very odd questions. Have you had any issues in work spaces?

[nopurposeflower]

i already broke my tempered glass screen protector to wound my hands. like i used to do it until my hands were aseptic technique level wet but lmao i just couldnt. i only got a few lil tiny cuts here and there.

the pain doesnt comfort me anymore. im actually tired of it buty brain keeps screaming at me to do smthn. idk what tho.

[stillhere-erehllits]

Hey! Sending this as a response to your self-harm post.

I'm currently in my last year of highschool and I started self-harming almost 8 years ago.

Weirdly enough over time I only got more self-conscious and embarrassed about my scars, so much so that I rarely if ever now wear short sleeves or don't have my legs covered. Doesn't help that I have really visible and some quite protruding scars.

I recently realized that I became more anxious about my scars when my environment changed for the worst - just being surrounded by much more openly judgmental people now really impacted me (This kind of sounds a bit judgmental itself, but I just don't know how else to word it right now). I guess being treated differently and gossiped about because I have struggled with something just feels shitty.

I remember how just 3-4 years ago I really didn't care about hiding my scars because I didn't feel so judged, but now just imagining having my arms be visible makes me uneasy.

Thank you for sharing! I'm sorry to hear that you feel less comfortable/ safe with visible scars now than you have in the past. That's the terrible thing about shame, its considered a social emotion that we feel because of social perception. I hope you find yourself some place in the future where you can feel safe and accepted again.

In my personal experience, the worse (more depressed, suicidal, etc) I felt, the less I cared about my scars being seen. It's become much more difficult as I've felt like a more healed/stable person to bear that part of myself. Shame is such a terrible thing to try and untangle!

Thank you again for sharing! <3