#i almost didnt survive
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will you become my beloved?
#the forbidden marriage#korean drama#kim young dae#park joo hyun#mygif#the one week without the new eps#pAIN#TORTURE#heartbreak#i almost didnt survive#i was battle tested#truly went thru it and we're only a week into 2023#pls never do that again tfm#i cant go another week without you#aNYWAYS#how about ep 8 tho??#my heart is so full#lee heon and sorang will end me#i couldnt stop smiling and giggling the entire time#i need them to be together for a very very long time#thats all i ask for#we got so much and i still want more#mORE
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The scene - part 2
#arcane#caitvi#arcane spoilers#arcane league of legends#arcane s2#arcane season 2#vi#caitlyn kiramman#i died#and almost didnt survive#almost
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wait, American football is all of America right guys!?!
pst, down here! I know there arent any capybaras in Chile its intentional ok?! dont go thinking I dont know my capybara facts! also im sorry if you dont see your country I cant put an “other” option, lest people try to chose a right anwser
#wrong answers only#poll blog#polls#anonymous polls#poll#polls for fun#random polls#tumblr polls#all the team names are random for some I tried to make the first two letters match but I gave up I also tried to chose unathletic team name#to make it seem as wrong as possible but some are just totally random lol also I had to put chile as capybaras after the internet said that#theyre the only South American country without them (idk if its true! but its still fun if its not XD but im sorry to ppl from Chile if#youre sad there are no capybaras (or if youve seen capybaras and im wrong o_o)#when I went to google smth tumblr almost didnt save this post and I had a heart attack so everyone be grateful it survived
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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
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siffrins memory is whack cuz hes from the northen island no one remembers about cuz timeline is fucked.
#greching origins#in stars and time#isat#isat reaction#isat spoilers#head in hands. HEAD IN HANDS#I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT!!!!!!!#the jokes about his memory being bad didnt click with me#so far his memory had been almost PERFECT#or he wpuldnt have known SHIT from FUCK#im. IM!!!!#HE SURVIVED BECAUSE HE RAB AWAY FROM HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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A sick tourist and villager at the harvest festival? How bad could it be?
GOOD LORD
#the duck quacks#echoes of the plum grove#my wife died#one of my kids got it. grew up. and immediately died.#another kid survived purely bc they didnt grow up during the pandemic#the mayor died. a new major was shipped in. the new major diwd in 3 days.#all the cute townies are gone too augh.... i had sm to consider for my next gen#and now theres 1. at leat i i dont have to choose!#i also got the pox and almost beefed ot but scraped bt by constantly sleeping 24 hours. eating dried fruit and sleeping again for 5 daus#winter is so much fun in this game. mhm.
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#jujutsu kaisen#brothers conflict#specialz#beloved x survival#i really typed out boleds x survival and didnt see anything wrong for a sec#sometimes my genious is. it's almost frigthening.
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i have decided to get really into Survivor as my next personality trait
#i watched almost all of Lost but as soon as they were not on an island trying to survive all of my interest evaporated and i didnt finish it#i would be SOOOO GOOOOOD at being stranded in the wilderness guys... i have longed to try it since i was a child#yes this is bc i read Hatchet at a formative age probably#anyway survivor is still not enough actual Survival for me but i do like the competitions and mind games too so#ramblings#and most importantly of all. there is no plot and i do not have to actually pay attention or really even look at the screen#anywya yes it has now been over 1 year since i have been able to go backpacking why do you ask#fr i am broken if i dont get my camping trips in this suckkssss
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i like to imagine that sometime in between ep7 and ep8, charlie takes vaggie to cannibal town to help train some of the residents who will fight in the upcoming extermination, and while visiting vaggie sees the kid she spared and maybe gets to have a proper conversation with him and/or his family
#i know that vaggie probably looks rather different than she did three+ years ago when she fell#but i definitely feel as though if you were a sinner who was about to be brutally stabbed by an angel#and then she Didnt Stab You#i think you’d be able to recognize her even if you’re fairly young#(also i know some people think that all the cannibals are hellborn but i believe that some are sinners and some are hellborn)#(this child being hellborn would make no sense because that means vaggie was kicked out for sparing a hellborn child)#(aka doing what she is legally supposed to do)#(so being a cannibal will probably get you into hell regardless of age)#also i really like the idea of vaggie and charlie getting to see the good that came out of her actions#assuming lute and adam didnt just go immediately kill the child she spared (it can be applied the extermination ended almost immediately#after vaggie fell given that you can see charlie walking around looking for injured sinners just a few minutes later so hopefully the#child survived)#then i like to believe the child ran home and got to tell the people who care for him that story#and maybe someone will even thank vaggie for her mercy#in a very strange way givennthat they are cannibals and all#think of a cat who kills mice and gives them to you. that’s probably how cannibals show love except with human limbs#anyways i want to write a one shot about this tbh#my post#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel vaggie#hazbin vaggie#hazbin hotel cannibal town#cannibalism#should probably tag that just in case lmfao#does this cannibal child have a name#im calling him#spared cannibal child#very very original and thoughtful name i know i know#hazbin hotel charlie#charlie morningstar
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another day another taco bell drive thru murder-suicide
#two nickels#actually the other one was aggravated assault and the guy survived. still#anyway this time i was in the walmart next door. oblivious#what the hell is it about taco bell that just attracts violence when im nearby. is it me#(cause of death not yet determined btw. but the last one a guy beat another guy unconscious like RIGHT before i got there#turned right the fuck around and went home. i also once almost got run over by a man asleep at the wheel of his pickup truck#at a. you guessed it. taco bell drive thru)#anyway sorry im not trying to make light of someone's literal death like thats horrifying. its just WHY IS IT ALWAYS TACO BELL?#(dont worry btw i didnt just like leave the unconscious man there like the cops were on their way and there were lots of people on the scen#already so. like. i JUST want to make it clear i did not see an unconscious man and drive away)#mia.txt#IM SORRY AGAIN IM NOT TRYING TO LIKE MAKE JOKES ABT SOMEONE'S DEATH IM JUST IN SHOCK#update: it was road rage :( a woman cut a guy off at the drive thru so he fucking shot her. what the hell is going on anymore i hate it here
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Day 3
TAKE 2 TABLETS EVERY NIGHT AT BEDTIME
#inktober#mental illness#medication#medication tw#medication dependancy#major depressive disorder#living with cptsd#bpd#borderline personality disorder#didnt mean to get serious on main#these pills have been both a#blessing and a curse#I no longer have manic episodes#but now I don't feel anything about anything#other than the occasional angry or sad episdes#also cant help but spiral when reflecting on the past#and realizing almost all my major and minor life choices were driven by#my intense emotional impulses#i need the pills to feel normal and survive in society#but the pills kill everything I thought I was#i don't know who i am anymore#tag ramblings
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The scene - part 1
#arcane#caitvi#arcane spoilers#arcane league of legends#arcane s2#arcane season 2#vi#caitlyn kiramman#i died#and almost didnt survive#almost
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being the houston mutual means every couple years i just log on like 'hey whats up just experiencing a natural disaster down here. im fine tho'
#honestly this one probably hit me the hardest bc the lack of ac has been hard to deal with#and the lack of sleep and lack of proper diet has left me super brainfogged#plus my phone is broken#work has been overstimulating and tiring#and we have had to throw out massive massive amounts of food which is just sad#i was outside today in the heat and the rain getting melted ice cream on my pants#and a wasp flew in my room#bc the other night i was in a daze and left w my window open to crash out on my friends floor#bc i literally didnt think i could survive another night trying to sleep in the heat#its like almost 90 degrees in my apartment when the ac is off#i had such a bad migraine from caffeine withdrawal too#i woke up trying to drive anywhere to get something to eat#feeling like i was gonna puke for hours and hours#i got a coffee and some fries and pulled through (embarrassing....) kjhjdfgklfhdfgl#me: yeah ive been miserable and in massive amounts of distress and pain and everyone around me is miserable too. but im fine
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its so crazy that planned obsolescence basically only exists for poor people. if you do your research on the brand first, you can get a pair of boots that will outlive your children for a few hundred dollars. if you are willing to give up one crisp benjamin, you can get a safety razor and literally only need to buy $10 razor refills like once a year for the rest of your life. the same is true for many computers, headphones, cookware, cars, pocketknives... literally everything
#my edc spyderco knife was almost $150 and that thang could survive a nuke probably#and i have a pair of boots i got from my dad that are adidas!! he got them when he was a teenager and they are still in perfect condition#(minus the laces which i replaced bc i didnt care for the old ones)#planned obsolescence
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⟢ highlight of the hour: my dearest [9/20] ⟣
in another life
#my dearest#korean drama#nam goongmin#ahn eun jin#mdhoth#mmkfav#mygif#i almost didnt survive making this set#this ep broke me in so many ways#the scenes where they imagined each other there with them#how they both missed each other dearly#and yearned to be together#this scene messed me up soooo bad#the other scene where gc also imagined jh as she was working messed me up too#like i am not ok#this is not ok?? who allowed this??#both scenes were so heartbreaking#i have so many things to say about this ep like-#i can go on and on forever about these 2#i just want them to both be happy.. with each other#</3#also give aej her oscars already for this scene!! amazing perf!!#also i really liked the use of the mirror in this scene. i thought it was super cool and effective
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ahaha you guys ever think of how hazel and frank befriended and bonded with a version of percy that doesnt exist anymore. wym no
#he didnt have his memories he didnt have his trauma his life wasnt divided in before/during/after gabe#in tlt hes hesitant to befriend ppl and always looks for ulterior motives and in son he does the EXACT opposite its INSANE#its like he was a small kid. he hasnt been that kid in years.#the gods ripped a child from his coffin and forced him to survive a world hes never met. again.#and now hes dead again! bc percy got his memories and its all back to normal and Hell Never Be That Boy Ever Again#the way percy got headaches and pains and fevers while regaining his memories. he was DYING and his body acted accordingly#whatever. i dont care.#i dont care i dont care i dont care#im just glad he at least kept his memories from that time imagine if he forgot them when gaining his old memories back lol#< stfu take that back#sorry its almost 6 am and i didnt sleep augh. anyway#pjo#percy jackson#son of neptune#hoo#heroes of olympus
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