#my intense emotional impulses
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Day 3
TAKE 2 TABLETS EVERY NIGHT AT BEDTIME
#inktober#mental illness#medication#medication tw#medication dependancy#major depressive disorder#living with cptsd#bpd#borderline personality disorder#didnt mean to get serious on main#these pills have been both a#blessing and a curse#I no longer have manic episodes#but now I don't feel anything about anything#other than the occasional angry or sad episdes#also cant help but spiral when reflecting on the past#and realizing almost all my major and minor life choices were driven by#my intense emotional impulses#i need the pills to feel normal and survive in society#but the pills kill everything I thought I was#i don't know who i am anymore#tag ramblings
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live reaction to the phineas and jonas scene in Trustfall
#it was an impulsive moment between two people who have spent a very long time feeling intense feelings#towards each other in a Very Intense Environment and now they're free they have no idea what the emotions mean and what to do with them#midst#midst spoilers#i think this is. a very exciting and interesting and in retrospect understandable dynamic for these characters#which also caught me completely off guard even despite the art for the scene#my personal prediction is#if it does ultimately turn out to be long-term romantic then yeah. i see it. its still a very cool and interesting development#but (and this is very biased personally as an aro person) assuming the Intense Feeling Must Be Romantic before ultimately realising it isn'#is cool to me!#either way. great episode. great scene. truly the two paladins of all time#and i am equal parts excited and absolutely terrified for the last 3 eps#also to go back to the screenshot: it was posted in a server where sadly no one listens to midst (despite my best efforts)#and i will not be elaborating on the nickname#i'm done now. maybe i will phrase these thoughts better when i am sober and havent worked 13 hours. c'est la vie#everyone listen to midst
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actually first ep of Voyager where Janeway talks to Tuvok about how his family misses him is that when she says they Worry about him Tuvok contradicts her and claims that Vulcans don't do that but when she corrects and says they Miss him he accepts this and admits he misses them too; implying perhaps a pedantic difference between 'Vulcans do not Feel Emotions' (false) and 'Vulcans do not Act Out of Emotion' (accurate) -> 'Miss/Longing' is an emotion, but 'Worry' is an action one does out of emotion -> one Vulcans do; one Vulcans do not.
#N posts stuff#continuation of thoughts from my last post bc i can smell the counterarguments of 'vulcans are not emotional and are#therefore not impulsive and therefore no vulcan child Would run off unattended' which is Wrong#but also a half formulated thought regarding: how often characters will CLAIM that 'vulcans don't do X' and how often#people take that at face value instead of accepting it as like. a character motivated Lie that is being told lol#ie) when Spock claims 'Vulcans don't Have emotions' this is a lie he tells because 1) it's funny to him or 2) this is an Exaggerated#expectation he feels put on him BC other vulcans are more ready to judge his behavior based purely on the knowledge of his#half human genetics -> Spock is forced to hold a Higher standard just to get others to acknowledge they are Minimally equal#ALT: we do Know that Vulcan emotions are deeper/more intense than they visibly show; it doesn't feel Standardized to me that#daily Vulcan culture would DENY the existence of emotions entirely (unless one undergoes Kohlinar which seems to be a Rarer#and more Intense lifestyle Choice SOME vulcans make) bc that Feels like it would be a Lie which wouldn't be Logical to uphold#BUT i Can see conversations About those emotions being one of those things Vulcans keep extraordinarily close to their chest#in Amok Time Spock was ready to Die before he'd tell anyone about a biochemical process his body was experiencing; I can see#emotions as a whole being an almost Equally intimate thing to share w/ outsiders -> hence the 'Vulcans Don't experience emotion'#claim being made in broader Outside society ; you'd talk about it w/ other vulcans but Not with a bunch of humans#(Spock being an arguable Exception to this standard BC of the 'has to uphold a Higher Standard just to be permitted on even ground)#this post is a lot of thinking aloud idk how much coherence there is here but it's fun to think about on many paths
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i'm fighting demons but the demon is making biweekly posts about how perfect 🌸 is
#i hear your objection but right now those posts are weekly at MOST.#girlfriend tag#box opener#does everyone else have really good impulse control to only say things online that have content or are interesting#or is the intense degree of my interest in and emotional responses to my girlfriend itself some kind of weird problem unique to me#they're just. so charming and great. yesterday i got really excited#because after about two hours of being apart i walked to the location where i had arranged to meet them#and they were there‚ in the location.#not like doing anything. we didn't have plans. they were wearing a jacket? and sitting on a ledge swinging their legs cutely?#but i also sometimes get that excited if they're just standing still and not wearing a jacket. so idk.#i know other people have blogs and also partners they like! am i just discovering that i lack the facet of self-discipline that everyone#else uses to avoid inventing the tumblr version of a wife guy
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Kinda wish a lot of my friends would stop demonising NPD?? Like they're always like "I'm cool with personality disorders, people with them aren't to blame for having them" or have a PD themselves, and then they turn around and go "Ugh I'm done with pwNPD, they're all awful."
The kicker is that this is ALWAYS preceded by me saying that I have a LOT of NPD traits and would meet the diagnostic criteria some days of the week (much the same way my friend has NPD but would meet the criteria for BPD some days). Like...ok... I literally just told you that I have a lot in common with people with NPD...you KNOW our mutual friend with NPD. You KNOW that he has NPD. And you look me in the eyes and tell me that you think that we're both awful????? Hello??? Fuck you???
#literally so fucked up#some people who say it and have BPD like me immediately turn around and accuse me of not having BPD because i have like 7 out of 9 of the#criteria and i happen not to have the most stereotypical ones#like I don't do impulsive behaviour in 2 potentially self damaging areas unless you count having a restrictive eating disorder#and i don't do inappropriate anger. i did when i was younger but it kinda calmed down when i moved out#and i don't really have a lot of emotional highs so people get kinda put off by the fact that I'm very introverted#like a lot of pwBPD i know are very expressive and loud. but while my emotions are intense and quick to change#i mostly experience negative ones. like I don't get much happiness. the rollercoaster looks more like anger - sadness - anger - disgust -#guilt - shame - amusement#and also...i have a lot of double bookkeeping going on? so people tend to think that I don't split?#but that isn't true; i just don't express it? like...no i do currently think that X has no good traits at all and that i hate her#i just don't say 'wow X is such a bitch and i don't like her' because logically despite feeling it and despite believing it i know that it#isn't true. yes I believe it. i also know it's untrue. so I do my best not to act on it. i used to punish myself for it as well#because i feel really guilty about it. and i try to do the same with idealisation but I'll be real I'm not very good at that one#because i feel like that is a process that is actually beneficial even though it isn't. so i tend to let it run wild.#I'm like 'Oh yeah who cares that I'm deifying X over here that's completely fine. at least I'll be less selfish.' and then i blink#and everything is fucked#anyway i got a little sidetracked
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What if you were trying to sleep in but your mood disorder was like
*:゚✧*:・゚No゚✧*:・゚✧
#personal#discovering- this time knowing what's happening- that mania is just a fancy way of inconvenient amplification of minor stimulus#which is to say i suddenly can't sleep if i hear something#i get irritated easily#i need sleep medication and Benadryl just to pass out for 8 hours#my social anxiety becomes General Anxiety#i need to take a walk whenever i become Bothered to shake off my emotions#not making impulse purchases or staying up until 3 a.m. mopping floors is difficult and so is managing euphoria/grandiosity yes#and yet i was really preparing myself for that the most when i was depressed- being cool isn't important and i shouldn't try to be cool#i actually am not very good at anything yet and struggle to see flaws in my work which has made it difficult to improve#and keeping aware of these things as well as other reminders has made grounding myself to the present much easier#i wasn't prepared at all for the other problems- or maybe they're more prominent this time around?#or the grandiosity and euphoria is happening in more healthy and productive ways?#the things I'm striving to do are much different this time around#mental illness#I'm trying to pick up healthy habits and relationships and devote myself to things i know level out my moods and prevent intense symptoms#(sleeping regularly and eating regularly and drinking water regularly and socializing mindfully and paying attention to emotions)#I've stayed away from intense things like scary movies and haven't done really anxiety provoking stuff or done triggering things on purpose#wow I really have . . . come a long way and I didn't even realize it . . .#the other day i felt like i was drowning in this feeling and like things would never change and with this context I'm feeling more secure#maybe someday I *can* be bipolar and stable? maybe not functional! just. maybe not a train wreck#i think that's a nice thing to work towards
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absolutely wild that a doctor who had spoken to me about three times and possibly gathered information from other people who'd known me about a week could write down the he thought i had BPD and when i asked if there was some way for them to figure out/point me in the direction of whether i might havd adhd or autism or something they said "oh we dont do any assessments sorry"
#posts#i dont think bpd got put an any of my charts thank god#< not in a weird way just in a i extremely do not have that way#the doctor even said he decided that based on 1. my impulsivity and 2. something about my emotions. i cant remember anymore#i was gonna say strong emotions/emotional reactions but i didnt really act that way in the hospital#i think i talked about feeling very strong emotions? or described an emotion that Was strong? but that would have been me talking about the#severe and extremely recent trauma i was going through#so like. this is not my baseline#but yeah go ahead and decide i have a personality disorder about it. because thats definitely the only thing that would cause me to be#impulsive and emotionalw#LIKEEEEE. i have strong feelings/opinions about people yeah. but those do NOT fluctuate#it is in fact very inconvenient for me how concrete those get. its hard for me to get over it once i decide i hate someone#which uhhhh. is maybe not quite the same as intense switches in opinion! in fact might be a literal fucking opposite! you motherfucker!
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it's weird to have the self discipline and versatility of a person with innate problem-solving skills who was then placed into 7 years of martial arts. combined with the emotional dysregulation of unmedicated adhd (and probably anxiety too).
bc it's like
me at 6:57 PM, crying: i hate my fucking job i'm in constant misery and i swear i'll die if this continues this is horrible i wasted all my potential i can't just keep doing this it's ruining everything about my physical and mental health and i can't fucking sleep
me at 7:43 PM, much calmer: guess what i applied to two jobs that will be much easier on my physical and mental health and that I have a good likelihood of success in landing, so I only have to deal with this misery for a few more weeks while I get through the hiring process. this is manageable.
#and yes i know it may not be quite that easy but the point is that within an hour i went from abject despair to putting a solution in place#which is true for a lot of things in my life i think#i get some extremely intense emotions about it but then those emotions fade and i can work through the problem logically#maybe not the textbook Best way to work things through but at least i can still be rational and not impulsive#and i'm not afraid to actually go out and do something about it if i'm unhappy. at least when it's something i have a degree of control ove
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man something fucked up and twisted about existing in a space where i was completely physically cared for like 100% opposite of physical neglect but emotionally HOO WHEE !
#maybe it was just being a pretty intensely adhd child (who at least has autistic traits too) with checked out parents raised by grandma and#her mother and law who were probably over raising kids#her MIL basically raised my grandmas kids too! and their cousins!#so ofc theyre gonna be emotionally checked out esp when my grandma probably has an intellectual disability of some sort along with#childhood trauma that has never been dealt with#probably some other neurodiversity too and anxiety#terrible impulse control and executive function and prioritizing skills lmao#sounds like adhd to me#anyway#her MIL def has adhd too lol shes barely changed in terms of quickness despite being Oldest Old now#but shes ALWAYS been super adhd my husband keeps being concerned like its old people dementia stuff but its more like old people adhd stuff#shes never been medicated for it and a lot of stuff she does just seems like normal aging stuff (more issues w recall and also she cuts her#sentences off more) but like point being#i was raised by 2 older neurodiverse women only medicated for physical stuff and depression whove been thru multiple gens of children#so like. i just dont know how they could have the emotional capacity unless there was some magic therapy intervention#pretty thankful i was physically cared for! but it gives me complex feelings on having 0 emotional interest or outlet in my family#oh my god they all have adhd#everyone in my family
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Ignore
#delete later#sometimes when your ribs open up and theres just a hungry gaping void where your lungs should be you just gotta lie#completely still beneath a weighted blanket until you can breathe again and thats all there is to it#i can feel thr depressive episode tugging at the edges abd im desperately trying to hang onto the energy i have#im also teetering on the edge of an emotional flashback and idk whether itll be quicker yo just let myself fall abd then#work through it or try abd push it away. its right there at the edges and it's a doozy bc the impulse to hide abd scream abd scream#is there and its been a bit since its been that intense#talked to my parents today and made plans to go visit and just. hate that. feel like I'm mot allowrd to hate it anymore bc#they dont really do anything to me anymore. supposed to forgive abd forget. i dont want to. i dont want to be the bigger person#alright we're gonna stop that before i properly trigger myself. brains suck and bodies are difficult but i love mine anyway#they're what i have and i will be content with that. have to be.#hate how much pain wrecks my mental health. its a fuckinh joke
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Anyway, headcanon that Tim has bpd and, regardless of whether their relationship was platonic or romantic or alterous, that Bertie was his FP.
Them : “There’s no platonic explanation for Tim blowing up the moon when Bertie died.”
Me, a borderline aroace thinking about QPRs and FPs and idolization and the white hot rage felt when someone hurts my closest friend : “Y’all are cowards.”
#not sure yall picked up here that ‘borderline’ was describing me and not my aroaceness#just. nobodys mentioned it at all in the tags even though. of the four things i listed. 3 are directly related to that (fps. idolization.-#white hot rage). for me. my bpd is integral to the reading if the situation. people who dont have emotional regulation issues do not react-#like that. even when a loved one dies.#that is inappropriate intense anger resulting in impulsive risky. and what i would argue is also suicidal. behavior. and thats 3 criteria-#right there. others are less concrete. more interpretation. but. yeah i think tim has bpd#the mechanisms#gunpowder tim#gptvtmk#bertie
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UNDER HIS COMMAND [R 18+]
Steve Rogers × Agent!FReader
Words: 6.2K Warming: Age Gap (reader in early 20s), unprotected piv sex, domineering acts. oral (both receiving), dirty talk, praising. Summary: You drove Steve to his utmost limit, but what is it going to take to get him to calm down? A/N: I rewatched the old Marvel movies and have been feeling feral towards coughCAPT'Ncough. Bon appetitties?
The mission had gone sideways in a way that left Steve Rogers simmering with frustration. He could feel the anger bubbling up inside him, a foreign sensation that made his chest tight and his thoughts cloudy. You had gone against his direct orders, putting yourself in danger—again—and it had pushed Steve to his breaking point.
As you stood in your private cabin, both your voices echoing off the walls, Steve couldn’t hold back any longer.
“You had no right to do that, Y/N!” Steve’s voice cut through the air like a blade, sharper and louder than you’d ever heard it.
Your eyes flashed with defiance as you fought back with all your frustration. "I made that call because it was the right thing to do! I was not going to allow those people to die just because you were excessively consumed with following the agenda!
Steve’s fists clenched at his sides, his muscles taut with barely restrained anger. “This isn’t about saving lives—it’s about you ignoring direct orders! You put yourself in danger, and you compromised the entire mission! You can’t just act on impulse and expect everything to work out!”
As he felt feelings he wasn't accustomed to expressing, his normally composed demeanor began to crumble under the strain of mounting aggravation. It frightened him that he could feel his grip weakening. He had never been so furious with you before; the level of intensity was nearly too much to bear.
You stepped closer, refusing to back down. “I thought about it! I knew exactly what I was doing, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat! You’re the one who doesn’t get it! You’re so obsessed with being in control that you can’t stand it when someone else makes a decision!”
“This isn’t about control, Y/N! This is about you thinking you know better than everyone else! You think you’re invincible, but you’re not! One day, your recklessness is going to get you in serious trouble and then what? How are we supposed to deal with that?” Steve’s jaw tightened, his eyes narrowing as the anger threatened to spill over.
Your eyes narrowed, your voice rising in anger matching his. “You’re the one who’s supposed to trust me! But you don’t! You can’t stand it when things don’t go according to your plan, so you lash out at me like I’m some kind of liability!”
Steve took a step closer, the space between you charged with tension. “I trust you, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to sit back and watch you throw yourself into danger without a second thought! You didn’t see how close you came, Y/N. You didn’t see what I saw!”
“What you saw?” you shot back, your voice shaking with emotion. “You’re always trying to shield me from things, Steve, but you can’t keep doing that! I’m not a child! I’m your partner, and that means you have to let me make my own choices, even if they scare you!”
As Steve struggled to control the flood of emotions that were about to overflow, his breaths came in short, quick bursts and his palms quivered.
“You think I’m trying to control you? I’m trying to keep you alive! I’m trying to make sure that you come back, every single time! But you… you don’t think about what that does to me.”
“And what about what it does to me? Every time you go off on some mission, every time you put yourself in danger without thinking about the consequences, do you know what that does to me? Do you?”
Steve’s face twisted with frustration, his voice lowering to a dangerous whisper. “I do know. I know because I feel it too, every time you do something reckless, every time you make a decision that could get you. . .” He couldn’t say the word, “And it terrifies me, Y/N. It terrifies me because one day, I might not be there to save you.”
Even though he looks angry, worry is visible in his eyes. You tightened your jaw because you were at a loss for words to respond to him.
Steve pivoted and stomped out of the room before you had a chance to reply. He had to escape for a moment to collect himself before he spoke a word he would regret. Heading directly for the woodpile, he stepped outside, his breath coming in quick, angry bursts.
By the time you caught up with him, Steve was already there, his jacket discarded on the ground. He grabbed the axe with a force that sent a jolt of pain through his arm, but he welcomed it. He needed to feel something physical, something tangible to anchor him in the midst of the storm raging inside him.
Without hesitation, he began chopping. The axe came down with a powerful swing, the wood splitting cleanly in half. But it wasn’t enough. The anger was still there, burning hot and fierce in his chest, so he swung again. And again. And again.
These pent-up emotions had been growing for weeks, if not months, and it was evident in every swing. The fear that he would lose you, the frustration that you didn’t seem to understand how much he cared, how much it hurt to see you risking your life time and time again. He was feeling helpless and that his only option was to keep chopping, to redirect his wrath onto something that wouldn't harm you or ruin everything both had built together.
Steve reached for yet another thick log, this one feeling rock-solid and unmoveable. None of that mattered. His muscles tensed as he lifted the axe above his head, and he lowered it with such power that the wood splintered. Although he felt the hit all over, it failed to provide him with the relief he had hoped for. He was being torn apart by the rage that remained dormant, just below the surface.
“So this is it? You’re just going to chop wood until the problem disappears?” Amidst the steady clack of the axe on wood, your irritated, sharp voice sliced through the air.
Steve didn’t respond. He couldn’t. The overwhelming wave of feelings he couldn't articulate washed over him, leaving him unable to speak. He swung the axe again, harder this time, as if he could somehow chop away everything he felt.
But then, a switch went off in his brain. That axe wasn't cutting it. He needed more—he needed to break something with his own hands, to feel the physical release of the anger that was consuming him.
He snatched up yet another log, this one heavier and thicker than the rest. His hands, still trembling with fury, gripped the log tightly. His muscles bulged as he poured all his anger, all his frustration, into his grip.
“Steve, talk to me! You can’t just—”
But before you could finish, Steve let out a low, guttural roar and pulled at the log with all his might. The wood resisted at first, but Steve was relentless. His biceps strained, his veins standing out against his skin, and with a deafening crack, the log gave way. He tore it in half with his bare hands, the wood splintering under the sheer force of his strength.
The pieces fell to the ground with a heavy thud, the sound almost drowned out by the ringing in your ears. You stood there, frozen, your breath caught in your throat as you watched Steve’s display of raw power. It was terrifying—seeing him so close to the edge, so consumed by anger—but it was also something else, something that sent a shiver down your spine.
You were genuinely scared by his actions just now. The shock that he could lose control, that he could be so driven by his feelings, was a stark reminder of how much he cared, how deeply he felt. But alongside that shock was a rush of something primal, something that made your pulse quicken and your cheeks flush.
You shouldn’t have found it attractive—this display of strength—but you did. Seeing Steve like this, so powerful, so intense—he never bragged about his power, and it stirred something inside you that you couldn’t deny. Your body reacts before your mind could catch up, a rush of heat flooding your senses.
Steve turned to face you, his chest still heaving, his eyes blazing. “What do you want me to say, Y/N?” His voice was rough, almost broken. “That I’m okay with you going off on your own and putting yourself so close to death? Because I’m not!”
You swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest. You could see the chaos in his eyes. It made your heart ache. To him it didn’t matter if you were one of the best agents out there because he knew how life is so fragile, he knew because he's been around for ages—you forget that sometimes his cellular age is not twenty-seven.
For now, both of you stood there, the tension thick and suffocating, wrapping around you like an iron vice.
You took a shaky breath, the sound of it almost deafening in the quiet that had fallen between you. You knew you should say something, anything, to defuse the situation. But your throat felt tight, and the words wouldn’t come. All you could do was stare at him, your heart pounding in your chest as you tried to reconcile the man you love with the fury that had just been unleashed.
Steve’s chest heaved with each breath, his fists still clenched at his sides. He didn't know how to come down from the brink he'd been driven to, didn’t know how to deal with the mix of relief and frustration that you were standing in front of him, unharmed but defiant.
His mind raced with the images of what could have happened, what might have happened if he hadn’t been there to pull you out of the fire. The thought was enough to make his vision blur with a fresh wave of anger and fear.
“I can’t lose you, Y/N,” Steve finally managed to say, his voice cracking under the weight of his emotions. “Do you understand that? I can’t. I don’t know what I’d do if something happens to you.”
Your breath hitched, your heart hurt at the openness in his voice, and the urgent plea cut through your barriers. You knew how much he cared—how deeply he felt everything—but hearing it, seeing it in the way his hands shook, in the way his eyes were filled with unshed tears, made it impossible to stay mad.
Driven by a surge of emotion you couldn't contain, you briskly walked towards him. Steve kept his gaze glued onto you, anticipating your next move. In an instant, you closed the distance between you, your body moving on instinct alone.
You leaped up, wrapping your legs tightly around his waist, your hands fisting in his hair as you pulled him down into a kiss that was searing, desperate, and filled with every ounce of the fire that had fueled the argument.
His kiss was intoxicating. You pressed yourself against him, your body molding to his as you deepened the kiss, your mouth moving against his lips with a fervor.
You could feel the tension in his muscles, the heat radiating from his skin, and it only made you want him more, made you kiss him harder, as if you could imprint yourself on him, claim him in a way that left no room for doubt.
Steve's grip on you was bruising as his hands found your hips, pulling you even closer, his own body responding to the intensity of the moment. He angled his head, deepening the kiss further, your tongues clashing in a dance that was as much about dominance as it was about the overwhelming need to feel connected.
You let out a soft moan, the sound vibrating between you, spurring you both on. Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, as if you couldn't get enough. You shifted against him, your hips pressing into his, feeling the undeniable evidence of his desire for you, and it sent a jolt of heat through your entire body.
When you finally broke apart, it wasn't because you wanted to, but because you both had to breathe. Your foreheads rested against each other, your breaths mingling, both of them trembling from the force of what had just happened.
Your breathing was ragged, your heart pounding in your chest as you looked into Steve's eyes, blue like the ocean but filled with fire. The air between you crackled with an electric tension, the heat of your shared desire still burning hot.
“I’m still mad at you. Chopping wood was not enough,” Steve whispered his voice rough, “I hope you're prepared for that.”
“Try me.” You replied breathily against his lips.
Steve didn't need any more encouragement.
When he reached the back-door, he didn’t hesitate. With a powerful kick, he busted it open, the door slamming against the wall with a force that echoed through the room and shook walls.
Steve's hands gripped you firmly as he turned, pinning you against the nearest wall, his body pressing onto yours, the solid weight of him making you gasp. His mouth found yours again, and the kiss, filled with intensity that left you both dizzy, desperate for more.
You could feel the way his body responded to your every touch, every kiss. Your hands slid from his hair to his shoulders, your fingers digging into the hard muscle, needing to hold on, to anchor yourself against the storm of emotions swirling inside you.
Steve's grip on you tightened, his hands sliding from your hips to your lower back, pulling you impossibly closer. He pressed his lips to the side of your neck, his breath hot against your skin, making you shiver. The sensation sent a wave of heat rushing through you, igniting every nerve in your body.
“Y/N…” Steve's voice was low, a rough whisper that sent a thrill down your spine. You could feel the restrained tension in him, the way his body was coiled like a spring, ready to snap. “You drive me fucking crazy.”
Shit. He swore. Now you know you're in deep trouble—and it excites you. You tightened your legs around his waist, leaning into him as you captured his lips once more, this time with even more intensity, more urgency.
Steve responded immediately, his mouth moving against yours in a kiss that was possessive. His hands roamed over your back, his touch firm, grounding you as you lost yourself in the taste of him. His touch ignited a trail of fire everywhere.
He pushes the hem of your shirt above your head and pulls off your black tee shirt, tossing it aside like it was nothing, exposing your bare breast, then his mouth devours you. He suckles and licks urgently, opening his mouth wider to envelop nearly your whole breast. It’s as if he wants to taste every inch of your skin all at once.
You moaned and arched your back, which thrusts your breast against his face, causing your fleshy mound to squeeze against him and bulge out at the sides.
His hand, rugged and calloused from years of relentless work, moved with purposeful intent to the other. He gripped your breast firmly and began to knead, applying a rough pressure on your flesh.
You squeeze his shoulders, grasping at the starched cotton of his shirt. It feels manly under your palms. Your mouth drops open when the shape of his hard cock lines up perfectly against you, applying a delicious pressure you desperately need.
“Oh my—Steve. . .”
Any self-preservation you've been holding on to evaporates at the feel of his hot length, and your hips tilt into him on their own.
You groan simultaneously at the much-needed friction. His scent, his rough groans, the tight hold of his large hands, the stab of his hot tongue—everything about Steve is strong, hard, domineering, and so deliciously male.
His mouth leaves your breast whispering into your ear, “Are you going to disobey me again?”
“I can't promise you that I won't.” You try to pull back and drop your legs, but he grips your thighs, holding them open, and presses his bulging cock onto you.
He loved the way you looked, the way you reacted, and he loved everything about you. You were the most precious thing in the world to him. So beautiful, so sweet, so giving and too damn good for him, but he was a selfish bastard and wouldn’t let you go.
Ever.
His breath fans over your neck, and he whispers dangerously. “That so?”
You didn’t notice how you both ended up in the bedroom until he shoved you toward the bed, because you found yourself falling onto it, the descent feeling agonizingly slow.
Your head turned sideways just as it was about to collide with the mattress, but you were too shocked to react, too numb to fight back against what was unfolding.
Steve moved with a swift, commanding presence, leaping onto the bed and straddling your torso with an authority that pinned you down. His shirt was already on the floor when you met his eyes—dark, angry. A side of him you're seeing for the first time in the bedroom.
His muscles are swollen from chopping all that wood and splitting one in half with his hands. His abs were a testament to the discipline and strength he had cultivated over the years. The six-pack was not just defined but chiseled, each muscle distinct and firm beneath the taut skin.
He pushed your thigh open with his knee, his palm grazing from your stomach, between the valleys of your breasts, stopping at where your collar bone meets the base of your neck.
All of your focus is on its path, and you quiver when his thumb now brushes the bottom curve of your breast.
“This is mine.” He twists your nipple, sending shards of electricity tumbling through you, and you buck against him, lust completely taking over all your senses.
“Yes,” You gasp and roll your hips, willing to say anything he wants to get him to continue touching you, searching for the right position to hit your clit with the head of his cock, desperate for more.
His chuckles tickle the sensitive shell of your ear, and a shiver runs through you as the sharp ridges of his teeth gently close on the soft earlobe. “Such a good girl all of a sudden?”
He drags his hand down your body, exploring it like he’s mapping every inch of you by touch alone. He forces your jeans off, almost ripping it in the process.
His thumb grazes your clit through your underwear, and a pained cry escapes your lips. He craves knowing the sounds you'll make as he drives his cock hard inside you. He'd make you beg for more until you scream out his name as he sear himself into your soul.
“Do you know what good girls get, Y/N?” He slides under the thin fabric and circles the spot you need him the most. “Good girls get to come.”
“Please,” you beg. Every molecule of your being is focused on his fingers. The weight of the air around you compresses until it’s hard to suck in your next breath. Tension radiates as you wait for what happens next. His touch is the only thing that matters.
He shifts you so he can reach lower, sliding wet fingers through your slit, then circling your entrance. You whimper his name as he sinks two fingers inside you.
“Look at you, soaked for me. Ready. This pussy knows she’s mine.” His voice is a dark rumble as he pumps his fingers in and out in a slow, torturous rhythm.
“I need more,” you grind out through your teeth.
“Take it. Fuck my fingers,” he orders you against your ear and loosens his hold to allow you to take control.
You wrap your arm around his neck, leveraging yourself, and grip his hair as you work yourself on his fingers.
Steve’s breath comes out in hot pants against your jaw, and he bites down on the edge at the same time his palm massages your clit. You forget to breathe as you rock against him, your head buzzing with the lack of oxygen.
“Oh yes, right there.” You gasped.
“That’s my pretty little pussy, fucking herself so well.” He adds another finger, and your world goes blank. All that’s left are his commands. “Come for me.”
Tingles shoot up your spine as your entire body pulls tight, and then your orgasm crashes over you in shuddering waves. “Steve.”
He pumps every last ounce of your release, his hands glistening. “That’s it. Say my name.”
“Steve,” You say, barely a whisper.
He withdraws his finger then and lifts his hand to your face, pressing his finger against your lips. It’s the same finger that was just inside you.
“Suck it,” he orders, and you obediently open your mouth, sucking the finger in. You can taste yourself, your own desire, and it makes you even more turned on.
When he’s satisfied that the fingers are clean, he removes it from your mouth, grasping your chin with his hand instead, forcing you to meet his gaze, “I'm going to ask you again, are you going to disobey me?”
You stare up at him, mesmerized by the dark blue striations in his irises. Your body is throbbing with need, desperately craving his possession. You want him to take you, to fill the aching emptiness within.
A smile of defiance crept on your lips as you cocked your head forward, “My answer remains that same.”
“You’re playing a dangerous game, Y/N.” he warns, voice low, and a tremble runs through you.
Your instincts are on high alert, but you don’t try to pull away. You swallow hard. “What game?”
“The one where you act like all has been put aside. That you don’t already know who you pissed off. Or do you need a reminder?” He shifts his grip and circles your neck with his fingers, resting them on your collarbone as a warning.
Heat pours into your core, and your clit throbs. A low moan escapes you, and his smile turns dark. He pushes closer, bent so his breath fans against your mouth.
“I’m going to spin you around and fuck your pretty pussy against this bed, I think it’s fair I take out my frustrations on you. I will make you beg so hard, because baby, I can do this all fucking day.” He said with grit.
Your ears ring, and all your thoughts vanish with his words. You push yourself up, closing the distance between your mouths. He groans deep and takes over the kiss, running his tongue against yours until you're consumed by him. Your head feels light from the lack of oxygen, but you don’t pull away, letting him do whatever he wants to you.
There’s a power that surges inside you, giving in to his control. No matter his threats, you know if you told him to stop, he would.
He’s not gentle when he flips you on your stomach. His hands fisted at your hips and you heard a snap as he tore your panties away. The abrupt sound and the violent action behind it spurred your desire to a fever pitch.
You hear him unzip his jeans, and in your attempt to look, he presses your head hard into the mattress. Then, you feel him pulling while he collects all of your hair and wraps it around his hand with the intention of using it as a rein.
You let out a whimper when Steve tugged harder. You don’t hesitate to move when his foot meets yours and spreads your legs further apart. He grunts in approval and runs his fingers up your slit, before his erection brushed between your legs as he moved and you whimpered, so aching and empty, as if the orgasms he’d given you earlier had only deepened your craving rather than appeased it.
Then he shifts his hips a little and uses his hand to guide his shaft toward your opening. You gasp, squeezing your eyes shut as he begins to push inside. You're extremely wet, but you still feel uncomfortably stretched as he slides in all the way. Steve doesn’t give you time to adjust before withdrawing and slamming in again, his thrust doling out punishment and pleasure.
“Fuck,” he hisses when you squeeze around him, and a sharp slap lands on your ass. “You’re so tight.”
You bite your lower lip, trying to cope with the burning, too-full feeling. You clutch at the bed sheets, needing something to hold on to as the familiar tension starts to gather low in your belly. The head of his cock brushes against that sensitive spot somewhere inside you. You gasp as he pulls your hair harshly making you arch to take him deeper, needing more of that intense sensation, wanting to bring you over the edge.
“Oh my god, Steve, yes,” you cried, finding your face pressed into the mattress again and you could hardly breathe. All you can feel is him: the back-and-forth movement of his thick cock inside your body, the heat emanating from his skin.
In this position, he goes deep, even deeper than usual, and you can’t help the pained gasps that escape your throat as the head of his cock bumps against your cervix with each thrust of his hips. Yet the discomfort doesn’t seem to prevent the pressure growing inside you again, and you feel climax coming again, your inner muscles clenching helplessly around his shaft.
“Oh no you don't,” He groans harshly, sensing that you're about to come. Then he pulls out. Leaving a void of emptiness that aches. The womanly fluids that leak down your thighs now felt cold, before you could protest, Steve flips you again and your eyes finally get to lay upon his magnificence, his erection at your eye level.
But all he does is look at you, a mocking half-smile playing on his beautiful lips. “You think I’m going to come inside you, Y/N?” he asks softly. “Is that what you’re expecting me to do?”
You blink, startled by the question. Of course you expect him to do that. You did something that upsetted him. Apparently reading the answer on your face, he smiles wider. “Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not exactly in a generous mood.”
“Sit up and suck it,” he murmurs, looking down at you.
Aroused by the command, you fluttered your tongue across the underside and shivered with delight when he rewarded you with a hot burst of pre-cum. Fisting the root of him with one hand, you hollow your cheeks and draw rhythmically.
You cup his balls in your other hand and squeeze them lightly. He groans, his eyes closing and his hand fisting your hair, and you continue, moving your mouth up and down on his cock, swallowing him deeper every time.
Your head bobbed as you pleasured him, jacking him with one hand while you sucked and stroked the crest with your mouth. Heavy veins coursed the length of his cock, and you slid the flat of your tongue along them, tilting your head to find and caress each one.
He swelled, growing thicker and longer.
“Baby, you suck me so good.” He held your head still and took over. Thrusting his hips. Fucking your mouth. Stripped to a level of base need where only the race to orgasm mattered.
You gripped his straining thighs in both hands, frantically working your lips and tongue, desperate for his climax. His balls were heavy and big, an audacious display of his powerful virility. You cupped them, rolling them gently, feeling them tighten and draw up.
“Ah, Y/N.” His voice was a guttural rasp. His grip tightened in your hair. “You’re making me come.”
The first spurt of semen was so thick, you struggled to swallow. Mindless in his pleasure, Steve was thrusting against the back of your throat, his cock throbbing with every wrenching pulse into your mouth. You eyes watered and your lungs burned, but still you pumped your fists, milking him. His entire body shuddered as you took everything he had. The sounds he made and the muttered, breathless praise were the most gratifying you'd ever heard.
You licked him clean, keeping eye contact the entire time, marveling at how he didn’t fully soften even after an explosive orgasm. He was still capable of fucking you senseless and more than willing to, you knew. He wasn't kidding when he says he can do it all fucking day.
× × × ×
“OH, God.” Your hands fisted the sheets beneath you, your back arching as Steve pinned your hips to the bed and his lips circled your clit and his cheeks hollowed. Sucking rhythmically, he massaged the hypersensitive knot with the tip of his tongue.
Your skin was coated in a fine sheen of sweat, your vision blurring as your core tightened viciously in preparation for orgasm. Your pulse was thrumming and racing. You've comed twice already, as much from the sight of his blonde head between your legs as from his wickedly gifted mouth.
“I’m ready.” You pushed your fingers into his hair, feeling the dampness at the roots. His restraint was costing him. You're overstimulated and he's taking the time to make sure you are soft and wet before filling you too full with his long, thick cock.
“I’ll decide when you’re ready.”
“I need you inside me, please. I won’t disobey your orders again.” You pleaded, bucking your hips towards his face.
“You ache without my cock inside you. You’ll say anything to have me there.” Steve crawled toward you like a sleek panther on the prowl.
“Yes.”
He hovered over you, his big body casting a shadow over yours. Tilting his head, he lowered his mouth and lightly traced the seam of your lips with the tip of his tongue.
“You crave it. You feel empty without it.”
“Yes, damn you.” You gripped his lean hips, arching upward to try to feel his body against your. You never felt closer to him than when you were making love, and you needed that closeness now, needed to feel like you were okay.
He settled between your legs, his erection lying hard and hot between the lips of your pussy.
“I need you,” you breathed, rubbing your wet cleft shamelessly along the heated length of his cock.
“Not yet.” He moved, rolling his hips to find you with the broad head of his penis. He pushed gently against you, parting you, spreading you open as he slipped just the tip inside. You writhed against the tight fit, your body begging.
“Fuck me. God … just fuck me!”
Steve reached down with one hand and grabbed your hip, stemming your frenzied attempts to push up and take more of him.
You fought his hold. Your nails dug into the tight curves of his ass and you tugged him against you. If you didn’t get him in you, you thought you'd lose your mind.
“Give it to me!”
Steve slid his hand into your hair, fisting it to hold you where he wanted you. “Look at me.”
“Steven!”
“Look at me.”
You stilled at the command in his voice. You stared up at him, your frustration melting as you watched a slow, gradual transformation sweep over his handsome face.
With his eyes still on yours, he reached beside him to claim your wrists. One at a time, he lifted your arms over your head, restraining you. Pinned to the mattress by his grip, his weight, and his unflagging erection.
Steve slowly enters you, penetrating you inch by slow inch. It feels good, so unbelievably good, and you moan again, tightening your inner muscles around his shaft. He groans, closing his eyes, and you do it again, wanting more of the sensation.
He opens his eyes and stares at you, his face taut with lust and his eyes glittering. You hold his gaze, fascinated by the fierce need you see there.
He began to thrust, stroking through the trembling walls of your cunt with the thickly veined length of his big cock. Claiming you. Possessing you.
You can hear his harsh breathing, and you know that he’s exerting a lot of control over himself, that he probably wants to fuck you harder but is trying not to ‘damage you beyond repair.’ Nevertheless, his movements cause your insides to twist and churn, causing you to cry out with every stroke.
“I love you.” your voice is barely audible, each word feeling like it’s being wrenched out of your very soul.
You can see his pupils dilating while grinding breathlessly, “Tell me again.”
“I love you.” which came out like a small, helpless sound.
“I love you too.”
Struggling with the grinding urge to rock into the ferocious thrusts of his big cock. He shoved his other hand beneath your hip, cupping your rear and lifting you into his thrusts so that his cock head stroked over and over the spot that ached for him.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he growled, pounding his hips up at you, yanking your hips up to meet his punishing strokes.
“Yes, yes! Come inside me.” you yelped, eyes rolling to the back of your head.
Steve hit the end of you with every deep thrust, battering into you. You could feel him growing harder and thicker. You watched him avidly, needing to see it when he went over the edge for you. His eyes were wild with his need, losing their focus as his control frayed, his gorgeous face ravaged by the brutal race to climax.
“Y/N, I'm coming!” He came with an animal sound of feral ecstasy, a snarling release that riveted you with its ferocity. He shook as the orgasm tore into him, his cock jerking as it pumped thick spurts of scorching semen into you.
You climaxed in a rush that had you sobbing his name, your bodies convulsing as the sensation enhanced and magnified by the way he’d controlled your body.
Steve laid on top of you, waiting for his cock to get soft before he pulled out. Your body remains convulsing under him.
“You’re a machine,” you told him, trying to catch your breath. “Or a god.”
Steve let out a low, breathless chuckle, the sound vibrating against your skin as he held you close. He laid beside you, his chest was still heaving from the intensity of what you had just done, but there was a satisfied smile playing on his lips as he looked down at you. Steve shifted slightly, so he could meet your eyes, his expression softening as he brushed a strand of hair away from your face.
“Maybe,” he murmured, his voice rough and warm from exertion. “But as much as I like the sound of being a god,” he continued, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips, “I think I’d rather just be the man who’s lucky enough to have you in his arms.”
“Just don’t pull a stunt like that on me again and I’ll be fine,” he responded, his tone a mix of lingering concern and affection. But there was still an edge to his voice.
“But it’s against my nature to ignore—” you started, trying to explain yourself, but Steve cut you off, his gaze intense.
“Do I have to impregnate you? For you to think more carefully?” he asked, his voice low and filled with a rough, teasing tone that sent a shiver down your spine. The words were provocative, laced with a mix of frustration and possessiveness that made your breath catch.
Your eyes widened slightly at his bold statement, your heart skipping a beat as the meaning of his words sank in. There was a challenge in his eyes, but also a deep-seated need—a desire to protect you, to keep you safe in a way that was so intensely Steve.
“Is that what it’s going to take?” he continued, his tone softening just a bit, though the intensity in his gaze never wavered. “Because I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make sure you’re careful out there. I can’t lose you, Y/N. I won’t.”
You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks, your mind racing with his words and the seriousness behind them. He wasn’t just teasing; there was a part of him that meant every word. It was possessive, yes, but it was also born from a place of deep love and fear of losing you.
“I’m not going anywhere,” you whispered, your voice trembling slightly as you reached up to cup his face, your thumb brushing over his cheek. “I’ll be more careful, I promise.”
Steve’s expression softened, his eyes searching yours as he leaned in to press a gentle kiss to your lips.
“Good,” he murmured against your mouth, his tone still laced with that protective tone. “Because I’m not letting you out of my sight, not if I can help it.”
#steve rogers x you#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers x female reader#steve rogers x y/n#steve rogers smut#steve rogers imagines#captain america x female reader#captain america x you#captain america x y/n#captain america smut#captain america imagines#steve rogers fanfiction#captain america fanfiction#captain america x reader
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I need y'all to understand how fucking important it is that their lovemaking song was La Vie En Rose.
Those translated covers you hear on TikTok take their lyrics from a Louis Armstrong cover of the original French version sung by Edith Piaf. The English lyrics are beautiful but there are some things lost in translation, which is why I love that they had Izzy sing the original French version while Stede and Ed are making love.
Edith Piaf's version of the song is all about the intensity of love and finding love after a trying time. Her vocals are incredible and bleed all the different emotions she feels while singing. Izzy starts with the English translation of the song, which goes:
But a closer translation to the original French would be:
"Quand il me prend dans ses bras; When he takes me into his arms/ Il me parle l'a tout bas; He speaks to me softly/ Je vois la vie en rose; And I see life through rose-colored glasses."
Obviously this is fine and dandy, but it's the translation of the original French lyrics used later in the episode that really get me. Izzy sings this:
Which translates to this:
"He speaks words of love to me/ They are every day words/ And they do something to me.
"He has entered into my heart/ A bit of happiness/ That I know the cause of.
"It's only him for me/ And me for him, for life/ He told me, he swore to me, for life."
It's that last verse that the English version just wouldn't be able to capture. The translated version of that verse is about angels and love songs and mentions nothing of a vow to love one another for life.
That's what's so special to me about the French version of the song being used in that moment. Edith Piaf sings as a person who has lived through so much pain and suffering (which she definitely did as a French woman living through World War II) and finally finds comfort and peace in the arms of her beloved.
That is ultimately what Ed and Stede are for one another. Safe harbors, calm waters, peaceful days and nights in each other's presence. They bicker and argue and hurt one another, but they always come back together so easily. Stede was hurt and needed reassurance, needed to prove to himself that he wasn't a whim, needed to feel the security of Ed in his arms. And perhaps they shouldn't have gone all the way that night, but they're both impulsive and obsessed with each other and they needed something.
It's that song that lets me know they're gonna be okay. They're intense and impulsive but they compliment each other. They fit together perfectly, and they find comfort in one another no matter what's happened to them in the past. They need their harbors, their anchors, each other. They'd never leave each other behind. They make each other's lives la vie en rose.
(Edit: fixed a translation error)
#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd s2#our flag means death season 2#our flag means death s2#ofmd season 2#ofmd spoilers#ofmd s2 spoilers#our flag means death spoilers#our flag means death s2 spoilers#stede bonnet#the gentleman pirate#edward teach#blackbeard#izzy hands#gentlebeard#blackbonnet#la vie en rose#s2e6#ofmd s2e6#calypso's birthday#i also want to make a post about their argument#their third breakup#i have some thoughts
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Astrology Observations Pt. 8 🦂
materialist🔖
DISCLAIMER: These are just my personal observations and are meant for entertainment purposes only; it may not resonate with everyone due to the nuances of astrology. Please respect my work and avoid copying or stealing it. Enjoy reading!! 🦂
🦂 I think people who have their chiron in the 3rd/7th or 11th house may experience significant insecurity about posting on social media and being in front of a camera, or even commenting under various posts online. They often overthink the things they put out online/the things they were going to post online 😭 and also if they post pictures/videos they might rewatch the picture/video 984726261 times and often find a SOME tiny fault and convince themselves to delete whatever it is that they have posted. This placement can create a deep-seated fear of judgment and a tendency to second-guess every public interaction
🦂I have noticed that scorpio moons and capricorn moons have very involved and critical mothers/parents, exhibiting behaviors typical of helicopter parenting. For instance they could micromanage every single thing you do or have some sort of comment to make about every little thing you do (also applicable to aries and virgo moons). I also feel that cappy and scorpio moons may find it the hardest to detach from their generational trauma because their parents may have instilled strict principles/beliefs into them and they end up carrying forward all these beliefs which in return makes them more susceptible to repeating toxic patterns which then ends up causing A LOT of trauma to these individuals ❤️🩹
🦂 honestly taurus placements aren’t always mindful and demure, despite being ruled by venus. Most taurus placements (esp sun,moon and mars) are NOT afraid to call people out on their bs and are extremely straightforward and direct. The type to insult you straight to your face if you annoy them or smtg 😭 and you’d be like ouch, what was the reason for that??💀. They can come across as arrogant and rude sometimes BUT this all makes a lot of sense as a lot of them tend to be sidereal aries placements after all🙏😂
🦂 speaking of sidereal placements I wanna talk about how virgos can be super playful and child-like (esp with the people they are comfortable with) because they’re leo placements in sidereal + virgo placements also really crave attention, sometimes way more than Leo’s tbh✨
🦂 aries and scorp moon/venus women often attract guys who initially start off as wanting to be/being their “friends” BUT the only reason they wanted to be their friend in the first place is because they see potential for a romantic/sexual relationship with them. It’s sad because literally every guy friend you have/had TOTALLY had other intentions that weren’t platonic 🥲
🦂 having placements in the 2nd house (esp if there are no harsh aspects) just mellows down the intensity of the placement. For instance moon in the 2nd house people can regulate their emotions much more stable and easy manner. Having placements in the 2nd house is such a BLESSING.
🦂 if you think you know someone with a scorpio moon, moon in the 8th house or moon-pluto native, trust me you DON’T😭. no one will ever KNOW every single part of them. They remind me of onions yk? SO MANY LAYERS to them and no one will ever truly know everything about them
🦂 also idk if I’ve mentioned this before but CAN WE JUST TAKE A MINUTE TO APPRECIATE HOW FUCKING FUNNY/HUMOROUS CANCER PLACEMENTS ARE???? literally SO SO witty and make you laugh till your stomach hurts😭🫶🏻
🦂 with age, saturn in cancer natives can look a lot like their mothers 💗
🦂 shadow traits are often expressed through the moon and mars, as these planets govern our raw emotions and drives. For example, an aries moon’s may react with impulsive outbursts and frustration, while a scorpio mars might exhibit controlling, obsessive, or manipulative behaviors to maintain power. These primal reactions tend to surface under stress or vulnerability. To work on your shadow self, it's helpful to focus on your Moon and Mars placements, as these often reveal where you're repeating or expressing toxic behaviors. By understanding how these signs influence your emotional reactions and drive, you can better recognize and address patterns that need healing.
banner/pic credits to the rightful owners
© cazshmere 2024 [All Rights Reserved]
#astrology#astrology notes#astro notes#synastry#astrology blog#synastry observations#astro community#composite#astro blog#astrology observations#synastry astrology#astro observations#astro placements#astrology works#astroblr#houses in astrology#venus astrology#moon aspects#mars in scorpio#vedic astrology#aries#taurus#gemini#cancer#virgo#leo placements#scorpio#virgo placements#sagittarius#chiron
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━━ ❝MASTERLIST❞
these are my personal observations and may not resonate with everyone. please take them with a grain of salt, as i'm not a professional astrologer! :))
♱ having a stellium in the 5th house can enhance your creativity and lead to experiencing flings or exploring new hobbies.
♱ if you have cancer rising, you might feel more sensitive, moody, and sleepy. this could result in increased emotions, including tears, which isn't always a negative experience!
♱ mars in the 8th house might indicate a time when you could lose your virginity or become more sexually active, feeling more desire than usual.
♱ i experienced a lot of friend betrayals and short-lived friendships while i had mars and uranus in the 11th house.
♱ moon in the 10th house can create confusion about your career path, making you feel pulled in multiple directions regarding what you want to do.
♱ venus in aries can boost your confidence in love, making you more likely to take the initiative in romantic pursuits and leaving your comfort zone.
♱ scorpio rising often brings significant changes and transformations, not just in your appearance but in various aspects of your life, marking a transformative year.
♱ uranus in the 6th house may bring unexpected and unusual illnesses, as well as the possibility of acquiring a non-traditional pet unexpectedly. it can also lead to unexpected changes in your weight, perhaps involving cycles of gaining and then losing.
♱ uranus in the 2nd house can bring ups and downs in your finances, leading to unpredictable income or expenses.
♱ having the sun in the 4th house encourages you to explore your roots, especially if you’re someone who doesn't know much about your parents or grandparents. it may also lead to spending more time at home.
♱ moon conjunct pluto can lead to intense emotions that are often transformative and sometimes painful.
♱ aquarius rising might make it easier for you to detach from situations. this placement can bring unexpected changes and experiences, both positive and negative.
♱ mars conjunct the ascendant can provide increased motivation and energy. you may become more direct and straightforward in your actions, leading to impulsive decisions and potential conflicts or aggression.
♱ a 1st house stellium isn’t always advantageous. while some suggest it brings glow-ups, i believe it primarily fosters self-discovery, prompting you to confront and evaluate different aspects of yourself deeply.
♱ sun conjunct neptune can enhance your intuition, allowing you to notice your inner voice more acutely. you may find yourself predicting events and becoming more sensitive to energies, along with experiencing significant dreams.
♱ with mercury conjunct neptune, your intuition may become even more pronounced, particularly in writing and communication. this placement can make it easier to interpret symbols and meanings.
#divination#astrology#solar return#astrology readings#astronotes#astro observations#astro community#astro placements#astro notes#astroblr#astronomy#astrology notes#astro tumblr#astrology community#astrology blog#solar return chart#astrology observations#natal chart#astrology placements
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Astrology Observations: ☀️🏡 Sun In Houses ☀️🏡
Disclaimer: When exploring your sun's placement in the houses, you can utilize the Placidus System, but I personally find a stronger connection with the whole sign system. Choose the method that resonates with you the most. This marks the beginning of my house system series, starting with the sun. Following this, I will cover the Moon, and Mercury
Sun in 1st House: When your sun is positioned in the first house, the sign it occupies becomes particularly potent, amplifying its traits significantly. For example, an Aries sun will radiate Aries characteristics more intensely, exhibiting greater assertiveness and energy than usual. Similarly, a Taurus may display heightened stubbornness, while a Cancer could become even more defensive. This placement not only enhances the qualities of your sun sign but also influences your entire astrological chart, creating a dynamic interplay with your rising sign. If your rising sign competes with your sun, it can lead to a powerful yet potentially conflicting personality. For instance, an Aquarius sun in the first house may express more eccentricity and humanitarian traits than typical, while also appearing more detached and logical. This strong emphasis on your sun sign can create a dominant aspect of your identity, leading to feelings of empowerment or confusion as these energies interact. Ultimately, individuals with this placement often feel a strong urge to take action, with their emotional responses or ambitions driving their behavior.
Sun in 2nd House: When your sun is positioned in the second house, your personality tends to be more outwardly expressed. The qualities associated with the sign in this house become visible to others rather than remaining internal. For example, an Aries in this position will actively pursue their ambitions, showcasing their creativity through their career or hobbies. A Leo sun will radiate confidence, often dressing well and leading a vibrant lifestyle, while a Capricorn will demonstrate their ambition and discipline through tangible successes. A Pisces may express their artistic side, whether as a musician or an artist, and could also explore psychic abilities. A Libra, on the other hand, will likely be social, engaging in friendships, mediating conflicts, and advocating for social causes, illustrating how the second house brings these traits into the material world.
Sun in 3rd House: When your sun is positioned in the third house, your sun sign takes on a more intellectual and cerebral nature. This indicates that your experiences and perceptions are filtered through your mind. For example, an Aries in the third house may become more contemplative, often reflecting on their actions rather than acting impulsively. They might prefer to brainstorm and discuss their ideas rather than execute them, leading to a more cautious approach. Similarly, a Taurus may find themselves overthinking their aspirations, focusing on education rather than direct action. A Cancer, instead of intuitively processing emotions, may intellectualize their feelings, adopting a more analytical mindset. This mental activity can lead earth signs to overthink, while water signs may analyze their emotions. Fire signs might feel constrained by their thoughts, delaying action, and air signs could struggle to connect emotionally due to their excessive rationality.
Sun in 4th House: When your sun sign occupies the fourth house, your personality tends to prioritize security across various aspects of life, influenced by the specific sign. You may experience a strong urge to protect what you have, leading to a cautious approach towards risks, as you constantly evaluate how they might threaten your need for stability. For water signs, this can result in a reserved and shy demeanor, preferring the comfort of familiar relationships and hesitating to share emotions unless trust is firmly established. Fire signs may feel pressured to concentrate on a single idea rather than pursuing multiple spontaneous ventures, seeking stability through focused efforts. Earth signs often emphasize external success, ensuring their family's well-being and creating a balanced life free from struggle. Air signs might find it easier to communicate and express themselves within a close-knit circle, feeling more playful and creative in those familiar settings. Ultimately, for those with the sun in the fourth house, the overarching theme is the pursuit of security.
Sun in 5th House: When your sun sign is positioned in the fifth house, pleasure becomes a central theme in your life, driving your pursuits and experiences. For instance, an Aries in this house tends to embody a playful, almost childlike spirit, prioritizing fun over goal achievement, though their inherent ambition remains intact. In contrast, a Capricorn here may adopt a lighter approach, focusing more on enjoying life and celebrating successes rather than adhering strictly to their serious nature. Fire signs in the fifth house radiate energy and are often the life of the party, constantly seeking entertainment and enjoyment. Earth signs emphasize physical pleasures and the luxuries of life, while water signs are engaging and connect deeply with others, lighting up any room they enter. Air signs, on the other hand, are social and humorous, often thriving in comedic or internet-based environments.
Sun in 6th House: When your sun sign occupies the sixth house, your attention often shifts towards lifestyle choices and aesthetics. You tend to be an aesthetic individual, concentrating on curating a lifestyle that aligns with a specific aesthetic vision. These individuals typically seek a focused approach, avoiding scattered energy, and prefer to channel their efforts into a particular style or ideal life. They require a well-structured lifestyle rather than a spontaneous one, as they thrive on planning and order. For Aries, this can lead to a more concentrated energy, while Taurus may become meticulous about their appearance and health. Leos might aspire to be motivational speakers, embodying confidence, whereas Virgos seek an orderly existence. Capricorns focus on ambition and success, and Aquarians often engage in activism, making their sign's traits central to their lifestyle, ultimately emphasizing aesthetics and personal expression.
Sun in 7th House: When your sun sign is positioned in the seventh house, the sign that occupies this house significantly influences how your personality is perceived in social interactions. For example, if you are an Aries, you may not recognize your assertive or bold traits until others highlight them during interactions, as the seventh house can obscure your self-perception. This house reveals aspects of your personality through relationships with family, friends, and romantic partners, prompting a desire for self-discovery. A Taurus might find that their dedication shines through in their relationships, while a Gemini may express their creativity and intellect more vividly in conversations. Essentially, this house acts as a mirror, reflecting your traits back to you through your interactions, making it possible for you to see qualities in yourself that you might not initially acknowledge.
Sun in 8th House: When your sun sign occupies the eighth house, you possess an intrinsic drive to uncover the truth, resembling a detective who shuns superficiality. You resonate deeply with the essence of things, often feeling uncomfortable in shallow settings. For fire signs, this translates into heightened intuition and perceptiveness, leading you to engage deeply with others about your insights. Earth signs may find themselves drawn to strong spiritual beliefs, undergoing significant transformations throughout life. Air signs often emerge as deep thinkers and free spirits, perpetually seeking more knowledge and understanding. Water signs, too, exhibit profound intuition and introspection, diving deeply into subjects and accumulating extensive knowledge. Having your sun in this house enhances your conversational abilities, as you offer unique perspectives shaped by your explorations. However, you may also grapple with darker themes, including heartbreak and trauma, regardless of whether your sign is Leo or Capricorn.
Sun in 9th House: When the sun is positioned in the ninth house, individuals often adopt a belief-driven perspective on life, influenced by the sign residing in this house. Those with their sun here may have deeply entrenched belief systems, whether they are steadfast like a Taurus or more fluid like a Gemini. For instance, a Scorpio sun in the ninth house might exhibit a strong adherence to their beliefs, guiding their life choices, or they could be more open-minded and less secretive than typical Scorpios. This placement can lead to a strong need for a belief system or purpose, with signs like Aries and Leo feeling particularly driven to fulfill their life’s purpose. Additionally, these individuals may have a constant thirst for knowledge, seeking to deepen their understanding of their beliefs.
Sun in 10th House: When your sun occupies the tenth house, it illuminates your life, making it highly visible to others. You tend to stand out in social settings, often exuding a strong energy that captivates those around you. The sign in this house amplifies your public persona; for example, if you are an Aries, your assertive traits may attract job opportunities that require action and independence. Regardless of your other astrological placements, the energy of your sun sign in the 10th house will be the most noticeable aspect of your character. A Cancer sun, for instance, will radiate nurturing and emotional qualities, while a Leo sun may lead to fame and popularity due to its charismatic nature. Similarly, a Capricorn sun will command respect, and a Virgo sun will be recognized for its organization and discipline. Ultimately, having your sun in this position often drives you to showcase the strengths associated with your sign.
Sun in 11th House: When your sun is positioned in the eleventh house, it amplifies a collective energy within your sign. This means that your traits are more likely to shine when you are with friends or in larger groups, while they may be subdued when you are alone or in one-on-one situations. For instance, an Aries might not display their typical assertiveness when by themselves, but in a group setting, their energetic nature emerges. Similarly, a Libra's need for balance may only surface when they engage in community service, revealing their mediative qualities. Essentially, the energy of your sun is most vibrant in social contexts, making you more approachable and friendly, regardless of your sun sign. This influence encourages connections within various communities rather than personal relationships, suggesting that a Leo might thrive online or a Scorpio could find fulfillment in occult groups, highlighting the distinction between collective experiences and personal interactions.
Sun in 12th House: When the sun is positioned in the twelfth house, individuals often find themselves drawn to spirituality, with the specific sign in this placement influencing their spiritual journey. The twelfth house represents ascension, and those with this placement may struggle due to a profound inner drive to explore their true selves on a deeper level. Many people with this placement feel isolated and burdened by heavy energy, which can lead to confusion about pursuing their desires, as seen in a twelfth house Taurus, who yearns for success and luxury but lacks clarity on how to achieve it. The key to overcoming these struggles lies in self-discovery, allowing them to harness their energy effectively. Water signs in the twelfth house face particular challenges due to the emotional turbulence they experience, making it feel like they are swimming against a strong current. In contrast, Earth signs provide grounding, helping to establish control amidst the elusive nature of the twelfth house. Air signs may grapple with mental health issues due to the vast, often misunderstood mental landscape they navigate, leading to confusion and breakdowns. Fire signs, on the other hand, may experience a clash between their desire for action and the constraints of the twelfth house, creating tension in their pursuit of freedom.
#astro notes#astro observations#astro placements#astroblr#astrology#astro community#aries#cancer#capricorn#gemini#taurus#leo ♌️#virgo#libra#scorpio#sagittarius#aquarius#pisces
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