#the gods ripped a child from his coffin and forced him to survive a world hes never met. again.
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ahaha you guys ever think of how hazel and frank befriended and bonded with a version of percy that doesnt exist anymore. wym no
#he didnt have his memories he didnt have his trauma his life wasnt divided in before/during/after gabe#in tlt hes hesitant to befriend ppl and always looks for ulterior motives and in son he does the EXACT opposite its INSANE#its like he was a small kid. he hasnt been that kid in years.#the gods ripped a child from his coffin and forced him to survive a world hes never met. again.#and now hes dead again! bc percy got his memories and its all back to normal and Hell Never Be That Boy Ever Again#the way percy got headaches and pains and fevers while regaining his memories. he was DYING and his body acted accordingly#whatever. i dont care.#i dont care i dont care i dont care#im just glad he at least kept his memories from that time imagine if he forgot them when gaining his old memories back lol#< stfu take that back#sorry its almost 6 am and i didnt sleep augh. anyway#pjo#percy jackson#son of neptune#hoo#heroes of olympus
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hiya @viceturtle! I finally got it done! Here is your Bad Things Happen Bingo request with Dick and Jason; you can also read it on ao3
What Have I Done?
It’s a lot. He’s not going to lie.
Dick was dead for eight months. There were no ifs, ands, or buts about it. It was a fact that they were all forced to deal with, all forced to live with. Dick was dead and there was nothing any of them could do about it. And for a time, Jason had held onto the small belief, he’s not going to call it hope, that Dick had somehow managed to pull through. That even despite the beatings, the torture, everything before and after it, Dick had managed to pull through and come out of it all alive.
But he hadn’t. That was the thing, at its core. Dick died.
Jason knows what it is to be dead. To be beaten and left to die. To struggle and still search for a way out of the shit hole you’re suddenly in and cling to that light, that stupid, stupid promise in the back of your head that screams, Help is coming, just hold on a little longer, that forces you to keep struggling, keep surviving, keep hoping for a way out despite the circumstances. Jason knows and it absolutely sucked.
He died and then clawed his way out of his own coffin. One of his fingers is permanently misshapen, wood chips and metal piercing through his stiff and cold skin. He’s got scars all over his body to prove that he died, to prove that he was beaten with a crowbar, messed around with like he was just some dummy, some thing that could take a beating and then some. Up and down and across and lined; the scars are all over him and he died.
And Dick died too.
In those eight months, Jason felt more connected to his deceased older brother than he ever had before. A deep and twisted connection over a shared death, a similar fate so convoluted it makes Jason sick to think about sometimes. His murderer is still out there. Jason has to live with that fact and even though it’s not fine and things would be so much easier without that psychopath, Jason gets it. Sometimes. Gets the moral code, the compass, that shrouds Batman and his little followers.
And he’s trying. He is. He made an effort to try and do the right thing when Dick died because suddenly, the role of older brother had fallen onto him and even though he doesn’t have a good relationship with Tim or the recently resurrected Damian, or anyone for that matter, there was still that recognition that it was all on him now. He was the eldest. He was the one to look towards. Not look up to, no, he will never claim the title of a role model, but now he’s the oldest, the most experienced, the next in line when one just can’t go to Bruce about shit going on.
The point being is that he did try, put in more effort than he probably should have, to stepping up to the plate and taking a swing at being better. At being the eldest of the entire brood and not fucking it up horribly. He switches to rubber bullets and smoke pellets. He keeps his excessive violence reserved for only the worst scum and even then still attempts to steer clear from Batman’s territories. He takes care of the Narrows, rekindles a sort of friendship with Tim, doesn’t fight the literal child that lurks in the Cave, and avoids confrontations with Bruce altogether.
It works and it’s good. He steps up, frankly owns being the eldest, and he’s fine. He’s fine with it. He’s still got his reputation intact, Red Robin isn’t terrified of his presence any longer, and Robin doesn’t pull a sword every time they spot one another. So what if he slips up occasionally and gets carried away? They’re just rubber bullets, weapons all the same, and they’re no different from getting hit with Batman’s fist (which Jason knows, from experience, hurts like hell) or getting swung at with a large knife.
He had a thing going on, is what Jason’s trying to get at, and then Dick showed up.
Dick. Richard Grayson. Who died eight months ago after he was tortured by the Syndicate and had his heart stopped by Lex Luthor. Who they had a funeral for. Who they mourned for. Who Jason had attempted to fill the gaping hole he had left behind.
Who Jason thought had died.
Betrayal is a word Jason feels like he could apply to a majority of his life. Betrayal from his parents, his poor, poor mother who just couldn’t muster up enough fucks. Bruce, Batman, for getting him into the vigilante life, for letting him wear that damn costume and get himself blown up for all his efforts. Talia, for restoring his mind after he was supposed to be dead. Bruce, Batman, again, for letting his murderer walk around like it was another Sunday, any other day, just a nice, normal day for a stroll like he didn’t just kill Bruce’s own son-
Yeah, Jason feels like he has liberal use of betrayal. It’s just an old song he hums sometimes and lets others join in occasionally.
But there was an unspoken code, a silent right-of-passage, when it came to being Robin. A mutual understanding of sorts. You don’t back-stab another Robin. Ever. You don’t lie, cheat out, betray a fellow Robin. There were too many shared experiences when it came to being Batman’s, Bruce’s, Robin and that ultimately revolved all back to trust and knowing that things were still the same despite all these years. Being Robin was both the best thing to ever happen to someone and also the ultimate death sentence. You don’t just get to be Robin either. You’ve got to earn it, to prove yourself, to show that you can take it all on, to keep up with Batman and the ever changing and violent Gotham.
So, when Dick shows up with an apology on his lips and the expectation of being welcomed home after all this time, Jason punches him square in the jaw. It’s surreal, a part of him thinking his fist will just phase right through the man’s face, but his knuckles connect and if the sound of his fist against Dick’s jaw isn’t the most satisfying and cruel thing he’s ever heard, Jason doesn’t know what is.
It’s agony, nearly, to see the red blossom on his older brother’s cheek because, holy hell, that means it’s all real. That Dick is really alive and not still buried in that weed covered yard with decaying roses scattered on top of it. Dick is alive and Jason is furious because he’s supposed to be dead and Jason already tried so hard to fill the other man’s impossibly huge shoes and he was doing a damn good job at it. He likes to think so, at least.
But who cares, right? Who gives a shit when Dick is back now and it was all for nothing? Everyone can just go back to their normal routines now that the star player is back and they don’t need a fill-in like Jason to stick around. All that effort, all that time, all that trying all summing up into one big, Surprise, I’m not dead, from the man of the hour himself.
Jason avoids Dick after that. The man said he wasn’t staying long, just “checking in” with everyone like he was just on some business call for a few months and not dead.
And that’s the root of it, Jason thinks. That’s what really gnaws at him because Dick is treating the whole situation exactly like he was on some extended vacation and just forgot to tell anyone where he was going. Not like his absence literally turned their entire world upside down. Not like the loss, the emptiness, that literally echoed everywhere Jason went was consuming and terrifying. In those eight months, Jason had to toe the line between being the eldest and maintaining his identity as Red Hood, and that’s where Jason truly felt close to Dick. Felt like he finally got what Dick and Bruce’s arguments were about so many years ago, this constant war of wanting to be better, wanting to have freedom, wanting to stay yourself when there was a constant war of others trying to get you to fill a role that you don’t want.
Finally, Jason felt like he had some other important connection to his elusive older brother that had nothing to do with the man that housed them, only for it all to be thrown across the room and into the trash.
To keep it simple, bare-bones, really dumbed down, Dick lied. About being dead, of all things. Jason can get behind needing to lay low after all that, being stripped of your identity on live television wasn’t exactly great for their kind of lifestyle, but to just leave? To go out on some mission and leave the rest of them out to dry like that? No warning, no hints, no notes, nothing? God, at least Jason made an appearance. Granted, not the best sort of re-introduction, but at least he wasn’t trying to hide.
To say the least, Jason is hurting. The anger faded along with any sort of need to prove to Dick that he had stepped up when he left. Now, he just feels… shitty. In a way, this is what he had been half-way expecting. No one stays dead in this business. There is always someone with a back-up or ex-machina to save the day and bring back a fallen hero, villain, whatever. But there had just been something so final, so human in Dick’s death. In that moment, seeing the mask ripped off, seeing his brother’s face on T.V out of context, away from the normal flashiness that was being related to a billionaire, it had scared Jason because that was his brother, Dick Grayson, world’s most annoying man in the universe, on T.V; beaten, bloodied, bruised, and humiliated for everyone to see.
He’s always been jealous of how clean and clear Dick’s eyes looked. Just a simple and rare shade of blue, obnoxiously bright and searching. Jason’s mother used to say he had his father’s eyes, a muddy mix of blue and green. He’s never liked his eyes, but there was always something so attention grabbing with Dick’s. Seeing them on T.V, wide and blood-shot and bruised to hell; the blue was out of place and humanizing in a way that Jason just couldn't describe because it was simply Dick Grayson there. Not Nightwing. Not a hero. It was just Dick Grayson, world’s worst older brother ever, looking lost, defiant, and defeated all at once.
And that hurt.
The man is like some nasty disease that won’t leave him alone though. Their first meeting was two days ago and Jason is trying his best to ignore the knife in his chest, not literally, when Dick shows up. Just outside the Narrows on the roof of a bodega, Dick appears from where ever the fuck he’s been and walks over to Jason. It’s a cue, Jason knows, when thunder rumbles in the distance and if he were a bit more into literature, feeling a bit more melancholy for his freshman year of high school, Jason would say that a storm is coming for the both of them, not just Gotham.
Dick walks with his hands in his pockets, stuffed inside an old brown jacket that looks well-used and well-loved. Jason’s never seen the jacket before. Must’ve gotten it on his extended vacation. A part of Jason knows that Bruce was in on it too, that Bruce probably deserves just as much anger he’s dishing out towards Dick, maybe even more, but Jason’s tired of trying to play nice and get along. Dick is the one in front of him now, right here on a Wednesday night with the glowing, neon advertisement for Coke singing behind their heads and a run down, twenty year old convenience shop beneath their feet.
Dick is here and now when he should be dead.
Just like Jason should be.
“What do you want?” he asks, the metallic tin of his voice modulator diminishing some of the threat. It’s a known fact that Red Hood guards his territory with a viciousness rivaling a rabid dog. Outsiders aren’t welcome. Never welcome.
In contrast, Dick is mask-less. Civilian. Same clear blue eyes from eight months ago that were sealed shut the last time Jason saw them. A dark bruise stains Dick’s right cheekbone, the shape of knuckles and betrayal. It’s a good contrast.
“I came to say goodbye,” the other man answers, stopping just short of six feet in front of Jason, “and that I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you sooner. I really am,” he insists when Jason remains silent. “Things just… happened too fast. It killed me to be away from you all for so long. I wanted to tell you, I did-”
“Really?” Jason interrupts lowly. “It killed you, huh?”
Dick sighs, a hand coming up to brush through his hair. “That’s not what I meant. You know it’s not.”
“I don’t know, Dicky. Times are changing, you know. One minute, you’re the star pupil, and the next I’m your backup. And now,” Jason shrugs, letting his hand come up to rest on the holster he keeps on his hip, “I’m not so sure about that.”
Dick is eyeing Jason like he’s looking at something he doesn’t like. Something that’s leaving a bad taste in his mouth. But that’s just something he’s going to have to deal with, isn’t it? Suck it up buttercup, and all that.
A laugh erupts from Jason as he truly takes it all in. “You know,” he chuckles, nothing humorous causing his mirth, “you really had me there for awhile. I bought you flowers, went to your funeral, dealt with all that shit, and yet here you are. In the flesh.” He laughs again, fingers curving steadily around the grip of his gun. “I think I liked you better dead, Dick.”
The older man frowns, brow dipping into a neat crease. Not a single wrinkle on his perfect, tan, not dead face. “The situation was unavoidable,” he says, like he actually believes a word he utters. “Batman needed a guy on the inside. The, hm, circumstances leading up to that set it up so that I could be that guy. It wasn’t exactly my choice to stay dead, Jay.”
“Names,” Jason snarks, that same anger he felt two days ago rearing its ugly head again. “You know, you say you didn’t have a choice, but I think there’s a clear distinction between dead and alive, don’t you? It might just be me, who knows because fuck if I do, but I think a warning woud’ve sufficed. A fucking warning. ”
Something must click in Dick’s head as his frown deepens. His hands are out of his jacket pockets now. They’re both tense.
“I’ll be back soon,” he says. “Maybe another month. Two at most. When I get back, I’ll try and…” Dick trails off there, as if searching for the right words, but Jason doesn’t have the patience for him to find the right way to say the same bullshit he’s already heard before.
He’s so tired. So, so tired.
“We were fine without you,” he snarls, relishing in the way Dick’s eyes widen at the claim. “The world doesn’t stop turning just because you decide to go off on a little adventure. Newsflash, asshole: None of us need you. You can’t come back here and expect everything to fall back to the way things were just because you decide it’s time to show your face again.”
“I was doing what I thought was right,” Dick snaps back. “Look, I’m sorry you had to step up and be a decent person for once-”
“And there it is,” Jason growls, unholstering his gun. “You think you’re so much better than me. You’re just so goddamn smug you can’t even see your own mistakes. What, is my being here just too inconvenient for you? Can’t make all the little hero-worshipers fall back into line like they used to?”
“Stop putting words in my mouth. I did what I thought was best for everyone and I paid the price for it.”
Jason lunges, cutting the feet between them into inches. “What was best?” he yells, swinging with one fist and aiming with the other. “Who the hell are you to decide that?”
Dick retaliates, pushing away Jason with a kick that connects to his armored chest. It’s barely a glancing blow though and he’s charging forwards again, squeezing the trigger as a shot rings off into the air, missing Dick’s foot by a few centimetres. Another crack of thunder resounds in the distance and a bolt of lightning cracks open the dark sky. Dick rolls away from Jason’s tackle, on the balls of his feet and ready to jump away again.
“I didn’t come here to fight you,” Dick tries, widening his stance. “I just came to, god, I don’t know, Jay. I didn’t ask for this!”
“Cut the bull,” Jason says, raising his gun again. He’s got it trained on Dick’s mid-section and even though a part of him knows he’s not going to take the shot, another part of him has his finger itching towards the trigger. “None of us asked for any of the fuckery that comes our way, but we deal with it, right? I’m dead, you’re dead, the brat’s dead, we’re all dead!”
There’s another crack of thunder, one that brings the rain with it. It pours, instantly drenching the pair, and a sheet of gray divides them. There’s surely something poetic about it, the divide that surrounds them both, but Jason’s not one to dwell long.
“Well, I’m not dead anymore!” Dick screams through the rain. “I am alive! I’ve been dead for eight months and I don’t want to fucking be anymore! I want to come home, Jay. I am alive. Goddamnit, I am alive!”
“So why didn’t you tell us that? Tell any of us that? All of this, that’s on you , Dick. You want to know why there wasn’t a big fucking parade for you? Why no one was fighting over the chance to be the first one to get to shake your hand? It’s because we don’t trust you anymore. No one fucking wants you near them because that’s how badly you fucked up.”
He must strike a nerve because Jason sees something crumple on Dick’s face.
“I didn’t- I didn’t want to leave you guys, Jay. God, you’ve got to believe me on that. I had no choice. It was either I leave and do this for Batman or-”
That same anger rises up again. Anger from different directions, different thoughts, but ultimately because it’s about Batman. Always, always about Batman. What he wants. What he needs you to do. Because if you don’t do it, and someone dies, it’s your fault. And Dick has always been the suck-up, the one to come when called, because even after all their spats and all these years of silence between them, Dick was still a Robin first and goddamnit if Jason doesn’t understand that. He hates that he understands that need to please Batman, to do what he asks in the hope of just some tiny ounce of praise or acknowledgment, but Dick is a grown adult. He’s not Robin anymore.
None of them are.
Dick takes a step forward and Jason squeezes the trigger, feeling the recoil in his wrist as Dick freezes, the bullet breezing right past his armpit. His eyes are wide, finally taking the weapon in as it is, and there must be some realization going off inside Dick’s head because now he’s the one charging in, stance low and shifty, and Jason’s on the defense now. His finger is still on the trigger, just barely, and he’s raising it to aim again when a flying round-house knocks the gun from his hand and fist drives under his chin. It disorients him a bit because, damn, he didn’t actually expect Dick to fight back, Jason was trying to get him to go away, but now they’re both serious. They’re both dangerous.
It’s a no-weapons brawl, just fists and dirty kicks and the rain is still pounding away against the bodega. The rain has plastered Dick’s hair to his skull and Jason is grateful for his helmet because it’s clear the water is making it difficult for the older man to see. He takes advantage of this, striking down with his elbow on Dick’s trapezius and quickly hooking his left foot around his ankle. It works for a split second, Dick thrown off and unbalanced, before Dick is tumbling down and using his own momentum to pull Jason down with him.
They’re on their backs now, rough and cold cement bleeding through their jackets, and the neon Coke sign flickers in and out as thunder continues to roll and shake the world.
“You should’ve stayed dead,” Jason snarls, taking a jab at his older brother’s face. “You should’ve never come back.”
Dick frees one of his hands from underneath the massive bulk of Jason’s suit, palm striking the sides of his helmet. “Take off the godamn hood and say that to my face,” Dick pants, shoving one of his knees into Jason’s side. “Look me in the eye and tell me you want me dead, Jay. Tell me you want me dead. ”
Another bolt of lightning splits the dark and its image refracts against the many puddles, and for a moment, the light sears into Jason’s eyes. He flinches against the burn and it’s enough hesitation for Dick to take the unguarded moment and flip Jason, crouching with one knee on his chest and the other digging into Jason’s forearm. They’re both breathing heavily, exhausted both physically and mentally, and he doesn’t bother to stop his brother as Dick reaches down and shoves the helmet off of his face.
Their eyes meet and Jason squints up at clear blue. Yeah, he hates that color. Hates it so much it feels like something ugly in his stomach, coiling and clenching. They’re both frowning but Dick just looks resigned. Jason hates that too. Now that he has the chance, he can see new scars on his brother’s face. New, finer lines and white and pink discoloration.
Funny how eight months can make someone look so much older.
“I wish you had stayed dead,” Jason finally says, hating himself all the more for it. “I wish you had never come back.”
Dick stumbles off of him and there’s a thin trail of red leaking from one of his eyebrows that keeps getting washed away. Jason doesn’t even remember hitting him there, but he must’ve been excessive. Must’ve over-done it. Just another thing he’s managed to fuck up. Check it off the list.
He sits up, feeling the ache of a sore back and numerous bruises, and watches as his brother leans heavily against the poles of the advertisement. The rain only seems to come down harder, bouncing off the yellow stained bodega roof. He gets to his feet slowly, careful to keep an eye on the slouching man, and treads over to pick up his helmet. His gun is closer to the bright neon sign and when he gets near enough, Dick looks up, something horribly heavy and sad, settling into his face.
“Okay,” is all he says, nodding once. “Okay, Jay.”
Dick reaches into his jacket pocket once more, fiddling with something, but Jason’s too preoccupied putting his helmet back on to really pay attention to it. They’re done fighting. Done with whatever all of that was. His hair is soaked, his jacket is going to have a layer of mildew on it in the morning, and Jason is tired. Beat. He can’t find the will-power to truly be bothered with anything else.
This is his territory so he’s not technically fleeing, but that’s what it looks like. Tail between his legs, off to lick his wounds, Jason’s sure that’s what Dick is thinking (he knows that’s not true, he knows this, and he’s got a little secret screaming, pounding away in the back of his skull, but Jason’s too burned out to deal with it, to address it). He walks to the edge of the roof with his back turned on his older brother, his alive and breathing, long lost brother, and jumps off, sliding down the fire escape and landing on the grimy streets below. His boots squelch in the rain, and there’s water logged into his socks, but Jason ignores it in favor of staring ahead. Refusing to look back.
Here’s the thing about being a Robin that everyone who’s been one before knows.
You rely on each other. There’s no codependency, not really, but there is a certain degree of reliance on past and current Robins. Robin is the inspiration. Not Batman. Batman doesn’t inspire little kids to go out in the night and get punched in the face and witness cruelty so awful you have nightmares for years after. Batman doesn’t inspire light and forgiveness and mercy; that’s all Robin’s doing. The bright colors, the chatter, the youth. That’s all on Robin, the little child weapons they are, and the shared experience of being that for Batman is a bond that runs so much deeper than blood. Thick and interwoven and relied upon so much more heavily than a simple crest or uniform.
And here’s that screaming secret that vibrates inside Jason’s skull: he’s happy Dick’s back. That Dick’s alive. At the end of the day, Dick was the first Robin, the first light, and having him snuffed out was a world that got three shades darker, bleaker. It was Dick’s Robin that truly gave it the twinge of hope all the Robins after carry with them; he was the model, the mold, they shaped themselves after. Him being dead changed that perspective for the worse because the first Robin made it. That’s what was so important, what tips the scales for the confidence of all Robins after. Dick made it. Survived being Robin, survived past Robin, and became his own hero.
Dick outlived being Robin and that was the ultimate goal. To survive.
So him dying was the last straw but now that he’s back, alive, everything was going to be okay again. Yeah, they’re all still messed up from it, there’s going to be a lot of trust built back up again, but they’re Robins for Christ's sake. Thicker than blood, stronger than a crest, relied on more than Batman. And maybe Jason’s being sentimental, still trying to be more eloquent than his sophomore English education allowed him to be, but God, he’s trying. He’s trying so hard despite the ache that wears down his bones and the fire that consumes his brain.
That’s why he gives in. Turns around. Looks back. Does what he thought he was too stubborn to do, but things change and-
The neon sign is brighter. No, that’s not right. There’s another source of that eerie, glowing light and Jason’s eyes widen as he sees a person step through it. Another figure, broad, muscular, unfamiliar, and they’re heading straight for Dick. His brother. Who is still leaning against the advertisement poles. Who’s not doing a damn thing to avoid the stranger that’s fast approaching.
Soreness and fatigue forgotten, Jason starts sprinting, boots pounding against the pavement as he cranes his neck upwards to watch the stranger continue to advance.
“Dick!” he yells in warning, drowned out with the rain. “Dick, move!”
He slams into the fire escape, hands scraping up the ladder as he hauls himself three steps at a time, chest heaving and heart beating wildly. He slips, losing his footing, and Jason grunts as he feels the pull on his shoulder and his knees bang into the sides of the bodega. He pushes on though, gripping the metal tightly and finally reaching the top.
He’s pulling himself over, gasping and searching, and he sees the man tugging Dick closer to the strange light, what Jason thinks must be some sort of portal, and before he’s even gotten a leg over the edge, his right hand is scrambling for purchase on his gun. He takes aim and fires without a second thought and curses aloud when it jams.
“Dick!” he yells again, throwing the useless weapon away and falling over onto the roof. “Stop! Stop! What’re you doing?”
His brother just trudges on though, bicep gripped by the stranger that continues to drag him closer and closer to the pulsating light, ghoulishly pink and saturating the air with an ominous buzz. Another flash of lightning illuminates the sky and Jason trips over himself in his haste, crashing into the slick cement. He whips his head up, too far away, too late, as the stranger disappears fully into the portal, Dick just a few inches away.
“Wait!” Jason cries, still attempting to rise off of his knees. Damn the rain. Damn the weight of his grief. Damn it all, get up. Get up. “Dick, stop! Stop!”
The rain is loud though and there’s a divide between the two of them, mixes of gray, pink, and red light. His brother half turns, watching as the younger stumbles towards him, and Jason can’t hear anything, can hardly process what’s even happening now, but Dick’s lips move in what Jason thinks is, Goodbye, and Jason screams, lunging as his brother fades into the light.
He falls, smashing into the cement once again as he fails to reach for his brother’s hand, and lands where the portal had just been. He lays there on his chest, heaving and attempting to breathe through his helmet, but it’s too hard, too suffocating, and Jason rips it off and flings it as far away from him as he can. His hands clench into fists and he fights back the urge to cry as he slams his fists into the roof. Bam-Bam-Bam.
Something cracks in his knuckles and Jason stops at the pain, shifting back and hanging his head between his knees. There’s a vicious burn in his eyes, his ugly, muddy green eyes, and Jason swipes at them furiously.
“We just got you back,” he whispers through gritted teeth. “We just got you back, Dick, and you, you just-”
A clap of thunder rattles the thin poles of the Coke advertisement as its lights finally flicker out. The night is dark without its glow and Jason is left in obscurity.
“What have I done?"
#bad things happen bingo#what have i done?#Dick Grayson#Jason Todd#Spyral#Agent 37#Red Hood#viceturtle#fanfic#my fic
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Foundations II: Why We Need An Ark
Last week, we started with the foundational story of Noah. This is one of those stories that grips me. Not because it’s a great history lesson – it’s not. It’s not because of the great kids messages about it. But it grips me because this story has gotten under my skin and I’ve seen myself in it, especially in a wrong way. It’s so easy to get this story wrong. It looks like Noah is alone in the world. So when I feel misunderstood, alone, like a street preacher on the corner raving against the world, I justify it by saying I’m a Noah, warning everybody.
But last week, we learned that this really isn’t that kind of story. It’s not a story about a man warning others and getting to be right in the end. In the Bible, we don’t get to be right or prove we’re right. But we do get to see that God is right.
And Noah’s story is about God. God helping out one ordinary man who was just doing what he was supposed to do. And who built an ark.
It was a story drawn from Epic of Gilgamesh, a script flipped to become the Hebrew people’s story of going through deep waters.
Genesis tells us it rained 40 days and 40 nights. We can’t hear that without referring to another foundational story in Exodus that includes the number 40. The story of the Exodus itself, where the Hebrew people left bondage in Egypt but couldn’t get to where they wanted to go for how many years? They wandered, like a boat floating, for 40 years. That number didn’t just wander in there. It’s there for a reason.
The ark is their story. It’s not just about one person. But a people.
“Ark” is a curious word. It’s an odd word when we see it in Genesis. The word used there is “tebah” [taw-bah]. The Hebrew people had a word for ship or boat (on-ee-yaw) that was used 36 times – including the boat Jonah was in… before he was swallowed by the whale. So, why isn’t that word used here?
There’s only one other time when taw-bah is used. In the beginning of Exodus, the Pharaoh decreed that all Hebrew boys should be thrown in the Nile River. Exodus 2:3 says, though, that after a boy named Moses was born, his mother, in an act of civil disobedience, “got a papyrus basket for him, and plastered it with bitumen and pitch; she put the child in it and placed it among the reeds on the bank of the river. Exodus 2:3” The papyrus basket is the taw-bah, it’s the ark. By it, Moses was saved.
The ark saved God’s people. In the days of Noah, God saved those on the ark through water. We say those words in our baptism covenant, the one where we join the church. By the ark, we go through the waters we encounter. The ark is a place of salvation. It’s what preserves life, even in the midst of death.
If you like etymology as much as I do, the word “ark” actually comes from an Egyptian word for coffin, but not the kind where the dead reside. A coffin in that culture is to be the boat that takes someone to a new life, it is the passage from this present world to another one.
The ark brings the people to new life. It brings us to a new home.
A few weeks ago, I read a headline that said “28 things Millennials are killing in cold blood… will anything stop their rampage.” It wasn’t about a crime spree. But it is blaming those coming of age now for not buying what we used to. I love how the next generation is always to blame for that kind of thing. I mean… I bet folks in the 50’s were talking about how the new generation wasn’t buying Big Band and Swing Music.
Change can come like a flood.
The headline accused millennials of killing, killing… golf courses, movie theaters, malls, even bars of soap, and chain restaurants (except Olive Garden). The empty malls and restaurants are becoming coffins of dead stores, sitting idle for years. Until the roof is ripped off and something changes. Until what was meant as something dead, becomes a way to new life.
I mean, look at the gym. Millennials almost “killed” the traditional gym, because none of them could afford the monthly membership. Until things changed. Gyms recognized that millennials are much more health conscious than previous generations. But they want more than just weights to lift and a track to run on. They want an upscale experience. They want towels. And above all, they want something that offers them a chance to specialize, to challenge themselves, and to connect. Big spaces, little gatherings.
They also want it to be a spiritual experience. A conversion. It hits all of those. They challenge themselves beyond where they are now. They learning a lot about a specific kind of exercise or music. And they connect with others in the process, for the most part having fun while they do it. Even if that connection is a social app that gives the feel of a small group. “Experts call it the tribe mentality, led by millennials who aren't afraid to spend more money to feel like they're part of a shared experience and community.” You’re there to sweat, to stretch, and maybe even scream out in pain at a new move. But little by little, health comes.
That sweaty, smelly, irritable, soothing, connecting, pained laughing experience is an ark. It’s a way to survive the onslaught of bad choices that come out way. It’s a challenge that follows a blueprint of our God-given desire to move and connect so that we can become something more than we used to be.
The experience wasn’t unlike those on the ark who gathered the animals together, fed them, scooped their stuff out, and kept the lion from snacking on the sheep. And that’s why for ages people have compared the ark to the Church.
Despite the blueprint that God gave us, we know the Church is a human institution. We don’t get it right. In fact, we confuse Noah’s ark with the ark of the Covenant – even though they are very different words in Hebrew. That box was a representation of God’s presence, containing the tablets of the Law. I say that because sometimes the Church gets it wrong when we quote that Law at people rather than be in the ark with them. Or offering them an ark.
Here is where we sweat together, work together, getting up earlier than we would, and keep our worst tendencies at bay so we don’t eat each other alive.
We laugh. We feed hungry kids at a summer lunch program. We boil corn at a Cornfest. Because despite our flaws, we are getting closer to a new promise of what God is doing. We are here because we realize that we can’t be an ark all by ourselves. We can’t ark alone. If you look at the story, the only people who stayed put were probably those who got flooded out. Change comes. We need an ark to get us through it.
We need an ark. We can’t do this alone. If you know someone who feels like they’re “spiritual but not religious” and can make it on their own, bless them. In 10 years, they’ll still be in the same place or worse, while we are gathered here for something else. We are a church. A church full of those with questions, skeptical belief, praying while asking what I’m doing here, firm in our convictions, sure of our doubts, faithful in our practice, yes… we’re all types of people here. Because this place, this church, is not my Church or your Church but it’s the Church of Jesus Christ. It’s not just for those who wear rainbow flags, American flags, United Nations flags, or any other group under the sun. But it’s for all. Because this is not where I come to have my understanding of God spooned out to me in same way I’ve always known. But it’s where we come to ark together. To be Church together. To know the God who came to us in the flesh and lived among us in Jesus Christ.
We need an ark. Because the world doesn’t stay the same. Because the things we’ve depended on in the past won’t always be there. Because one prophet alone doesn’t change a thing. But a prophet willing to climb on a boat, willing to ark with a bunch of unruly animals can change the world.
Despite all our skepticism, we make room to believe. To believe in God and each other. So that even those who tick me off the most – and there are none like that for me – a first in a long while – but yes, even those can be a part of this boat. They can be a part of this life-preserving force that will be there to resist the self-destructive waves around us.
Let’s get in this together.
Let’s have a CornFest where we celebrate the gift you bring. Where we’ll be sweaty, smelly, and pretty exhausted afterwards. But we’re doing something amazing together. Building a place where all can come. A place where we are invited to the table – whether you have $8 or not, even though, Mark, I know we want folks to give. But we are invited to a table that’s bigger than one event or one day. But an ark that will sustain us. A place that will keep us. Until we reach the Promised Land.
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