#i aM TRYING TO WRITE IT I SWEAR
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god help me write good smut
"Tell me, love," Yoongi gently caressed your lips, leaving a trace of desire trapped in his fingerprints, the eagerness of his question leaving you speechless, utterly surrendered to him. "Has anyone ever cum in your mouth?"
#late blooming ʚɞ⁺˖⸝#i have a vision ok?#but he vision is hard and i am a poor goblin trying my best#like it's smtg i've been thinking for a while now#and it would b sososo perfect#i aM TRYING TO WRITE IT I SWEAR#just need courage and strength :'>#yoongi x reader#yoongi smut#bts x reader#bts smut
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not edited, just need to cup art donaldson's face while he fucks you. pretty boy would nuzzle his cheek against your palm. the second you begin praising him, he can't hold back the tears in watery eyes, feeling them slip down his face, staining his cheeks. the tip of his nose would turn pink, hearing his little sniffles while he gently bucks his hips up into you.
whenever you tell him he's good, or how much you love him, he hiccups out the most pathetic, sad, soft little "yeah?" while staring up at you desperately, needing your validation to live. pulling your wrist to his mouth, kissing up your arm, whimpering into your skin, squeezing his eyes shut as he lets more tears fall.
#his tears are a good thing#dont worry#he's just not used to being held and praised#you must cuddle him when youre done#also#i am so inconsistent#but i swear im trying to start writing again#sage's drabbles❣#art donaldson#art challengers#art donaldson x reader#art donaldson x you#art donaldson smut#art donalson x reader#challengers smut#challengers x reader
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Day 3 of @subcodyweek - Prompt: Praise kink
They didn't train him for this on Kamino.
#tcw#commander cody#obi wan kenobi#codywan#esk art#I swear the rest of the stuff I drew is actually more in line with the purpose of this event#I'm not trying to be difficult#i think this is the last thing for this i can actually post on tumblr#the stuff i drew for day 5 and 7 may get me smote by content guidelines. maybe? not risking it#i am trying my hand at writing smut tho to make up for the fact that i can't bring myself to draw anything that is more than suggestive
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Not to sound like a boomer on main, because I love my phone- I do. But I really miss the day when I could hang out in public without having to hear everyone else's phones. I don't care if there are babies crying (because babies cry sometimes) or if other people are having conversations (because that's what people come to cafes and such to do) but hearing tinny little phone sounds blasting out loud out of their speakers drives me insane. I'm only in my 30's, why are you making me complain about how things were "back in my day" like I'm 80? Public phone noise is prematurely aging me. Send help.
#Complaining#Like an old lady#I'm not I swear#But also- Back in my day#*shakes fist at sky*#It's giving “Old man screams at cloud”#I am the old man#Only Im not a man Im a woman and instead of screaming at clouds im slowly having my sanity stolen by people watching videos on their phones#out loud in public spaces#Can we normalize not doing this?#Use headphones or something#Please- I beg of you#technology#cafe#coffee shop#writing#im just trying to write a fun little story i don't care whats happening on your phone#keep it to yourself
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I'm just saying if you're writing smut featuring trans people and you find yourself ONLY writing pre-op transmen as receiving penetration. ONLY writing your transmen as submissive.
You should really take a step back and think about why this is.
Also consider including trans people who have gotten bottom surgery. I'd like to see more of that. Or transmen using straps. That'd be cool too thanks.
#like why the fuckkkk is it so hard to not be weird about it#like im not trying to kink shame here#you can be weird without being Weird (derogatory#right? you understand me?#appreciate the variation of human experience#i had a bit about the ways people are weird about like#trans women and nonbinary people and intersex ppl#but like. i figure yall can share your own thoughts I do not wanna speak for you#trans men#trans man#transandrophobia#like i get that transmen can be like that#but i swear it is so difficult out here as someone who is not into submission and shit#like. aauuuugh#am i just bad at searching for smut????#i don't know#i don't like policing ppl about what they write. especially smut.#but its just like....can i please see some variety.
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popping in randomly after almost an entire month just to talk non stop about the tsaritsa again everyone sit down.
specifically just thinking about the implications of tsaritsa's ideals originally being about love + the abandonment of those ideals to complete her goal of, presumably, destroying Celestia or whatever she's cooking up. to the point even her people don't love her and I probably don't even remember a time her ideals were of love. now it's all just ice and snow and cold.
which makes romantic fics w her even funnier because she's purposely removed this part of herself and suddenly reader walks into teyvat like they own the place (they do) and I can only imagine her reaction. angry, probably. because why you? what are you doing to her that's caused her hundreds of years of strict adherence to rejecting "love" both from others and to others to just. collapse. absolute shattering of her world and you probably don't even know it bc if nothing else she's good at hiding it. a lot of denial. tries to pick you apart and see what's makes you so different.
and oh she just hates it. she loathes it.
basically one sided enemies to lover trope because she can't stand you for a while but if you stick around she starts warming up to you and it makes it WORSE. so much worse. tries to distance herself but your just everywhere and it gets on her nerves because why does she love you? she isn't capable of love, not anymore. she thought she was.
g-d forbid one of the harbingers or PIERRO notices she'd never live it down. might even consider the implications of just killing you (she doesnt). worse if you know about it and act like a brat she will lose her damn mind
just the tsaritsa being an absolutely horrible mess internally.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#tsaritsa#i could also talk sbt furi here and how similar they r + how writing one of them influences my writing of the other#but anyway#ive been busy moving i havent had time to write unfortunately#but i do have time for tsaritsa! and furi. mwah#i just think its funny imagining tsaritsa trying to be polite snd cordial but ohh shes SEETHING. she hates you. she loves you.#she wants to kiss you snd kill you and devour you. a horrible mess of a woman who closed herself off snd suddenly she feels exposed#she hates it. wants to hate you but oh g-d you make her soft in the worst of ways. she'd destroy teyvat itself if you asked her to#shes like a cat you gotta work to earn her trust but oh lord when you do. velcroed to your side#she will say she despises you before kissing you so tenderly it makes you dizzy. between vitriol she brushes her knuckles against your cheek#longing and yearning so violently you will tear each other apart just to be closer.#is there anything so undoing as loving another so wholly it consumes you?#she swears she's indifferent but she pampers you and sends you extravagant gifts with no name attached yet it smells like her. you know.#oh to be in a horribly complicated relationship thats almost one sided enemies to lovers w the tsaritsa that consumes you both#like two stars wanting to be closer and yet..in doing so you undo each other when you inevitably collide. caught in an orbit that dooms both#this has been ur monthly tsaritsa ranting ur welcome and goodnight 🫡#when i say im crazy sbt the tsaritsa i am so serious. i AM her number 1 fan source me
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hopefully soon 🤞 😭 pls look forward to it!!
#conqueror of demons#GUYS I SWEAR IM TRYING TO WRITE#SINCE I TOOK A BREAK IVE JUST BEEN SO RUSTY#BUT I AM DOING MY ABSOLUTE BEST.#IF U GUYS ARE STILL WILLING TO READ
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HEY. POINTS FINGER… any thoughts on how everyone reacted when the other joined the team? as in how did killer react when dust came, how did he and dust react when horror came, how did they all react when cross came, etc. i love love LOVE your bad sanses thoughts way too much they make me so happy. if i write hurt you write comfort and it’s awesome. also how do you think they slowly started to get closer? just.. bah give me your thoughts on them!!!! any thoughts!!!!!!!!!
You fool!! You’ve given me a chance to ramble about my special little guys and now this post will stretch on forever!! Mwahahahahah >:3c
No but seriously this is probably gonna be wicked long cause I have 1 million thoughts about these guys joining and meeting each other so uh, readmore for everybody’s safety and sanity
(^ I wrote that in the document before I started typing out my actual thoughts and uh
yeah no kidding, this is like a fucking essay so proceed with caution)
OKAY SO
I’ve said before that Nightmare got Dust for two reasons; one being that Dream had just recently started working with Ink (and soon Blue) so he and Killer were no longer able to gang up on Dream. He wanted somebody else to bulk up their numbers and give Killer a little back up. He also was starting to realise that Killer didn’t handle being alone very well, since this was when he most often got worked up and broke things around the castle (and sometimes tipped over into stage 3). Dust would be a perfect fit since he had the same amount of lvl and fighting experience as Killer, and since they were so close in circumstance they would be practically like brothers right?
The irony that he thought this about a guy he was recruiting to help kill his brother was apparently lost on him.
They absolutely hated each other. Like, it was instant. Killer saw him as a replacement, why would boss go out and get another sans - one with almost the same backstory as me - when I’m right here? Does he think I’m not good enough? Am I disposable and this is the backup for when I die in combat? He didn’t take it well. He took it all out on Dust too, not cooperating in battle, trying to start fights in the castle, etc. He couldn’t outright kill him because Nightmare had given him strict orders not to, but Killer loves a loophole. If he roughed Dust up down to 1hp and something else happened to finish him off, technically he’d followed orders.
Dust just straight up didn’t want to be there. Nightmare just showing up and yoinking him had worked fine with Killer, but Dust had wanted to sit in his empty au and die, he had no intention of joining a team or doing work of any kind - good or bad. The only reason he didn’t just lie down and refuse the entire time was that he had to fight back against Killer, as much as he wanted to die he refused to give this ass the satisfaction or lvl. He didn’t intend to be any help out in the field either, but again, Killer was making sure he got fired at so he had to retaliate to stay alive.
Eventually it got bad enough that Nightmare had to pull Killer aside and demand answers. In the year or so of knowing him Killer had never willfully disobeyed orders before, so Nightmare needed to know what had gotten into him. He dispelled the replacement rumour right away, he still wasn’t quite softened up enough to be sappy about it but he made sure Killer understood what a good worker he was and that Nightmare had no intention of losing him. It didn’t help a lot, they still hated each other for other reasons, but it eased a little.
Killer still had pretty frequent dips into stage 3, except now he would go straight for Dust usually. Nightmare had tried to explain what he’d learned about it to Dust, but he didn’t really believe that it wasn’t just Killer deciding to try and kill him for funsies. He only accepted it after a particular episode where he attacked Nightmare instead, which Dust knew Killer wouldn’t try in his right mind.
After he came back to his senses he sought Dust out. The air around Killer was very different after a stage 3, sort of sombre and almost calm, so Dust let them sit together and Killer apologised for giving him such a hard time. They actually talked for the first time in months while Killer was still calm (or tolerable, as Dust describes it), and it didn’t magically fix everything but, things were a little better. They still fought and argued and bothered each other but it wasn’t as sharp, there was a lack of real murderous intent in it all, and sometimes after an episode they would talk a little bit. It was the best Nightmare was going to get for now, so he took it.
They were still completely incompetent about taking care of themselves though. Neither of them would eat unless prompted and Nightmare didn’t have good enough knowledge of mortals to know when that should be to stop them passing out from hunger on the job. Not to mention the stars were now a full team, and with the way Killer and Dust would sometimes rather target each other on the field he could do with more backup.
Horror was the first of the group to get a choice in joining. Nightmare had taken note of how much Dust didn’t want to be part of things, and while it was in his best interests in the long run given his situation, Horror’s au was still mostly intact - though a little in disrepair. Horror was also the first in the group to have a good (and ongoing) relationship with his brother, so Nightmare knew he couldn’t just pop in and steal him, he had to be a bit more diplomatic with this one and offer a deal.
He gave Horror some time to think on his proposal - he would set up regular deliveries of food to Horror’s au in exchange for him joining their team - and was quite surprised when Horror agreed, with some stipulations. Horror was equally surprised when Nightmare agreed so easily to his terms (that he didn’t want his brother to know what he’d be doing, and that he wouldn’t kill). A little down the line the terms were altered to add that he would also be left to visit his au every week or so.
Horror was not impressed meeting the other two. He didn’t need his power as judge anymore to sense the lvl coming off them both, and given who they were working for he was instantly distrustful of them both (the uh, brother situation did not help). He was also in a place that had an abundance of food for the first time in probably years, so he was doing a lot of going hog wild in the kitchen and then getting very sick as a result.
Dust didn’t particularly feel anything for him. This guy hated him, sure, but it wasn’t forward and slashy like with Killer, it was just quiet loathing which was fine. That’s how Dust felt about himself so, y’know, mood. He did kind of feel sorry for him though, not just because of the whole famine and everything, but also because he was watching this guy eat like his life depended on it and then get sick and undo it day after day. He was the one who suggested Horror getting his food in moderation to Nightmare, which did help but was an absolute ordeal to enforce. Y’know how some people get hangry? Imagine that but you haven’t had a proper meal in years and now these people give you tiny amounts of food and don’t let you eat more for hours. The hunger mood swings were a sight to behold, you would never have guessed in those days that Horror specified not wanting to kill.
When his ability to eat had evened out and he was in better shape, Horror made a point of apologising to Dust for being aggressive with him. Over time he’d kind of softened up on him from his initial impression, since he could see plainly how wracked with guilt Dust was over his situation. It was a little easier to imagine that whatever he’d done was truly out of desperation and not just for fun, as Horror had assumed at first sight.
They also both retained that classic sans laziness, so it was easy for them to share a space while saying and doing nothing. It made Horror the first person that Dust willingly spent time around in the castle (and vice versa since Horror was still largely suspicious of Nightmare and Killer - the deal seemed too good to be true and the stage 3 episodes didn’t help). As time went on, Horror kind of became Dust’s emotional support skeleton in a way. Dust had become quite averse to touch in his solitude and Horror very slowly brought him back out with casual gentle touches, until not only did he no longer freeze or stiffen at being grabbed but Dust would seek him out to flop next to on the couch. Horror claimed it was just returning the favour for helping with his eating situation, but really it was nice to have something resembling a friend here.
Killer, for his part, was going through This is My Replacement 2: Electric Boogaloo. Not to the same degree as with Dust, since Horror was quite a bit different, but Killer was still wary of this new addition. He didn’t really instigate anything though since, to be honest, Horror had the intimidation factor. He was like a foot taller than both of them, he had a cracked skull and completely different magic and it seemed like every time Killer saw him he was eating bread like a wolf eats a deer. So while he was going through his food moderating, Killer mostly just stayed quiet and kept his distance.
Horror had not softened on him like he had with Dust, since Killer didn’t openly show remorse. He still watched him with distrust, especially after seeing the way he scrapped with Dust for seemingly no reason other than for violence’s sake. Killer was still mostly targeting Dust in his stage 3s, but Horror had to be careful to stay out of his way since he was still working with much lower hp than the other two. What did start to convince him was seeing how similar Killer and Dust were after a stage 3 episode. Once Killer was slightly more composed (ie stopped crying), he became so tired and quiet and blunt about things he normally joked his way around. It was a little startling, but also started to bring Horror around to the idea that Killer might regret his actions too, just buried under several layers of whatever the hell is also wrong with him at any given time.
Killer and Horror only really started interacting after talking about Dust. Killer was asking how he got Dust to like him since he seems to hate everyone and everything else, Horror told him very pointedly it was because he wasn’t trying to kill Dust. Killer admitted he wasn’t trying to kill Dust, at least not anymore, he just wanted to fight for fun. It opened up a better channel of understanding, knowing that Killer did not actually have murderous intent behind his swings (stage 3 notwithstanding). It made it easier for Horror to occasionally get involved in the roughhousing which Killer delighted in, knowing that the other two knew how to hold back enough to keep him from dusting.
Speaking of stage 3, it was around this time that Killer and Dust made a very important deal. After a particularly rough episode with a little too close of a call, Killer showed up in Dust’s room and begged him shakily to make a promise - that if he ever got too out of control during one of his stages, Dust would kill him. He’d been told over and over by Nightmare that it was impossible for Killer to hurt him since he was immortal, but now there were more people around him where that wasn’t the case, and he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he came out of a stage and found himself alone. Dust promised.
It’s also worth mentioning that, once they were all close enough to be on speaking terms, Horror started bullying the shit out of these two about eating. Now that Horror knew neither of them were going to kill him, he felt safe enough to pick them up by the scruff and set them at the table to say they weren’t leaving until they had at least a snack. He let them pick what they would eat - he wasn’t that cruel about it - but he had to see them eat at least 3 times a day or they would hear about it.
It was by no means perfect or regular, but after about half a year Nightmare finally had henchmen who ate food and worked together (mostly).
Now here’s the problem… I still haven’t really figured out how or why Cross joined the team. Like, obviously there’s some kind of point in the events of underverse where it splits off into an alternate timeline, but I haven’t really figured out where yet so. Leave that one with me just a little longer. Cross joins.
Nightmare really truly didn’t intend to take anyone else in. They were (mostly) getting along, they were pretty well matched to fight the stars, he had no need of more mortals.
…but he was also pretty soft at this point. Every one of them had taken a blow to his I’m immortal I’m an island I don’t get attached to others persona and he’d gotten pretty damn fond of them all. This was why when he felt the sheer weight of loneliness radiating off of Cross, he just couldn’t bring himself to leave him.
So Cross entered the castle.
He did not particularly intend to stay or make friends, he was trying to get his world back and nothing more. He even revealed a little down the line that he outright refused to kill, and was quite surprised to find that Nightmare was fine with that. At the start he was polite but not friendly with the others and mostly kept to himself.
Dust, as is often the case, did not really have an opinion. Another new guy, this one was self sufficient and didn’t bother him so he had no reason to get involved. He was content to be in the same room as Cross but didn’t start up any conversations.
Horror felt the need to speak to Cross, since Dust would happily stay silent for years and Killer was, well, Killer. Horror was somehow the closest thing to normal they had, so he was the one that made small talk. Mostly asking what Cross would like for meals and encouraging him to pick something he liked when he got the answer of “anything is fine”. As Cross settled in a bit more and actually opened up, they bonded over being the only two to enjoy food. Horror made a point of adding chocolate to the stock they kept in the kitchen and making tacos here and there for Cross.
Horror was also the first Cross kind of warmed to, mostly because he was the one devoid of lvl and Nightmare had mentioned he’d also said he wouldn’t kill. Learning a little about his au’s situation only softened Cross to him more, especially seeing that he still cared a lot for his brother and was trying to protect his home (even if Cross found it unthinkable that he lived away from it). It was through Horror that he also got accustomed to Dust, how being quiet and distant was kind of his default and that he also felt deeply haunted by the loss of his world. They weren’t exactly friends, but it was comfortable enough.
So now boss had taken in another new person, someone who takes orders like a soldier and fights with knives and ruthless precision and aims to be his righthand man, and Killer was ecstatic. By now he’d mostly put his fears of being disposable behind him, Nightmare had gotten a bit less subtle in showing how important they all were to him and Killer felt confident he wouldn’t be replaced. Which was a little bit funny, because the only guy he didn’t feel threatened by was the one who absolutely competed for his spot.
Cross needed to prove he was useful, he had to feel like he earned his keep and that all the training and suffering he’d done was for a reason. When Nightmare sent them on missions, Cross aimed to be the fastest and the most efficient and to report to Nightmare without question. Horror and Dust looking on would have expected Killer to see this 100% as a threat to his position as (self proclaimed) Nightmare’s second in command, and to go for this guy’s throat when nobody else was around.
But Killer was fascinated. Cross was completely different from any of them, bar Nightmare whose au is a whole different kettle of fish, so he had a certain element of unpredictability to him. Horror and Dust were both based on classic sans just like him, so to a certain degree he knew how they would feel about most things and what they might say, the only differences being in what they had experienced through their own timelines. Cross was based on a swap sans and his au had taken wild twists and turns away from usual events, so Killer had to learn everything about him by poking and prodding for answers or observing from a distance, much like back when it was just him and Nightmare. Cross was something new to be studied and Killer loved taking notes.
Cross did not see this as friendly. He was competing with Killer for approval, not realising Killer was playing their contest like a game. When he saw Cross training he would jump in to spar for fun, but Cross saw his rival trying to get a jump on him and take him out of the running. When Killer would hang around and pester Cross in their off time with questions, it didn’t seem like someone taking interest, it seemed like someone being nosy and looking for weaknesses to exploit. When Horror mentioned that Killer was being surprisingly contained and friendly, Cross really thought he was fucking with him.
The first time Cross was willing to even consider this was the case was when his locket came loose on the field and Killer ran back to find it, since one of the notes he’d taken was how the locket wasn’t something Cross would play about (the same as Horror with food). It didn’t make sense for someone who was seriously competing to have him kicked out to just hand his necklace back, no ransoms or attempts to crush it to upset him, just some vague remark about “owing him one” and then right back to Nightmare for orders.
Cross had to give him something of a chance after that, Horror helped a lot by telling him “he doesn’t want to hurt you, he just doesn’t know how to be normal”. It was mostly a playful jab at Killer, but reframing their interactions changed it significantly for Cross. Now they were sparring playfully and having friendly competition on jobs. He wasn’t as put off when Killer went into stage 3 because he knew he could match him in combat and the others were always on hand to help restrain or distract him. Cross also took note of how Killer calmed down a lot for physical touch, not unlike how Dust had warmed up to Horror. It went a long way into not only making him a little less combative for attention every day, but it seemed to put longer stretches between his episodes (which Cross had also started tracking so they wouldn’t be caught out by them as much).
For his part, Killer has disobeyed instructions in the past to benefit Cross, usually ignoring the task to help him if he’s hurt. He’s also given Nightmare nudges towards praising him because he’s noted that that’s what Cross needs in the same way he needs touch (not that Nightmare doesn’t praise them normally, but when Cross is going through it and needs something). He also doesn’t particularly like chocolate but has made a point of not admitting this to Horror so he can give his chocolate to Cross.
(It’s also worth noting that Cross is the only one, besides Nightmare, that has been to Horror’s au. He offered to help out during the food delivery and got to meet Horror’s Papyrus (who he is a little intimidated by but ultimately friendly with, even though it’s a little weird since he’s a good bit different from his own Papyrus). Dust and Killer can’t really visit for a few reasons, mostly because everyone will notice their lvl immediately and know what they’ve done. Dust especially doesn’t know how he would react to having a Papyrus in front of him again and doesn’t want to put Horror's family at risk to find out. Whenever he visits, his Papyrus asks about Cross now and sometimes tries to make tacos for him (key word tries, he’s still a Papyrus after all). He may have joked that seeing Cross sometimes is “like having another brother but younger and less lazy” and when Horror told him this Cross may or may not have cried.)
And that’s where we are now!
They’re a very strange group who’ve been through some inexplicable events and have all changed each other in one way or another. And whether or not it can be admitted, they are a family c:
Now onto how Nightmare was made emotionally open by each of them!! In this essay I will no just kidding could you imagine this is already like 7 pages long
If you got to the end of this post please drink some water and get yourself a snack
#Ask#Wickjump#UTDR#UTMV#Truce au#Tagging that since this is the events I'm working off for these guys#My fanon canon if you will#Also I am SO sorry oh my god#This is like an essay for a degree I could submit this for peer review akdghjdjfsjl#I didn't mean to say so much I swear this was me trying to keep it concise!!#I think I've genuinely spent like 6 hours writing this between last night and this morning#Which is wild because like whose attention span is this??#Anyway I have a lot of thoughts about these guys (clearly)#I have given them a lot of events that I haven't really drawn or written about yet#There's a couple of things in here that I've referenced before here and there#But I guess this is kind of a masterpost for it all#Man I have to go to work in like an hour this was wild akdguigfgy#WICK THANK YOU!!!! This was really fun to do and it's got me excited to work on my other stuff in the background :D#And when I get back from work I'm gonna think of an ask to get you rambling next >:3c#But for realsies thank you so much this was super sweet and really fun <3
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Did you like the new ending :3 (fuck the old one)
I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!!! It's the best logical way the dsmp could've ended AND because it's so open-ended, it leaves a lot of room for the fandom to build on, which isn't something you see a lot in media nowadays.
HOWEVER, it has been really bothering me these past few days since it was released, and I've had complex feelings about it that I haven't really been able to figure out until somewhat recently. Though, this is probably just me lol!
I'm gonna try to make this as short and legible as I can, but as you know I'm so very bad at that so sorry in advance.
Dsmp has been my main source of entertainment and an escape from just life in general since I first started getting into it—which was back in mid-2020 or so, but that was less of dsmp itself and more of the fandom. Though I still really enjoy the content creators content itself, I've watched them less and less and on the occasion that I see a clip or quote by them (especially Tommy) it's SO jarring how much they've changed and matured, and it's only a reminder of how I've done the same. That's the feeling I got when seeing the new lore. Everything has changed, people have matured, relationships have drifted apart, and we are living in the present.
It's like the feeling of finding an old toy that you distinctly remember loving so very much way back then and realizing you feel indifferent to it now. You've changed, your taste of things you enjoy changed, your relationships with people have changed, and you've grown.
I don't want to go back but I don't want to stop reminiscing, and this ending has made me realize that.
#this is very poorly explained and the point of just how much ive been focused on the past of dsmp and avoided the future isnt emphasized#as much as i want but i already stayed up for an hour staring at the ceiling trying to put my feelings into words before writing a HUUGGEEE#and messy paragraph into my notes app just a few nights ago so i think this is fine for now#i might come back and try to word it better but the feeling hasnt fully gone away yet so#also i just realized this may come off as a vent but ITS NOT!!! I SWEAR#its just like having a bucket of ice water dumped on my head suddenly#also that last line is so ctommy#am i a ctommy kinnie??#i mean it IS true that i didnt used to be this angry#but i think that just comes with becoming a teenager#so very sorry for the rant i just had to say it and your the perfect victim#<- cdream to ctommy:#dream smp#dsmp#tommyinnit#jack manifold#ctommy#ctommyinnit#cjack#cjack manifold#cbitterduo#cbitter duo#crazed raccoon chitters#my super cool moots !!
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wip wednesday <3 :)
hello :) happy wednesday, hope everyone is having a nice week so far! thank you to @heybuddy-drabbles @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @zwiazdziarka @itsmaybitheway @bigassbowlingballhead @wordsofhoneydew @ships-to-sail @eusuntgratie @captainjunglegym @theprinceandagcd @getmehighonmagic @songliili @nocoastposts @magicandarchery @sherryvalli @littlemisskittentoes @kiwiana-writes @suseagull04 for the tags :)
here's a snip from "the full spectrum of human emotion" aka the proposal au aka my child aka my beloved:
They go back and forth, questions flying to fill the flight time. Alex learns about Henry’s morning routine (rigid, a bed-maker through and through) and his favorite cologne (something expensive he’s currently wearing, clean linens and fresh grass meant to drive Alex completely fucking insane), and Henry learns about Alex’s guilty pleasures (eating cajeta straight from the container while watching trashy reality tv) and the last thing that made him cry (an Instagram reel of baby goats). Many opinions are exchanged, numerous jokes made—mostly at Henry’s expense, he makes it way, way too easy. It feels a little too natural and lighthearted and Alex is free falling as he learns more and more about Henry Fox-Mountchristen, little details that add color to his life, softening the harsh edges and melting the cold exterior. Alex feels pretty fucking good about it all, until he realizes they haven’t touched on a major topic, one that is relatively uncharted territory for the both of them.
xoxo roop
+ tags under the cut <3 and open tag as usual :)
@ninzied @dumbpeachjuice @leaves-of-laurelin @inexplicablymine @priincebutt @whimsymanaged @futureseaempress @happiness-of-the-pursuit @tintagel-or-cockleshells @cricketnationrise @tailsbeth-writes @lizzie-bennetdarcy @myheartalivewrites @onward--upward @celeritas2997 @affectionatelyrs @tinyarmedtrex @14carrotghoul @rmd-writes @anchoredarchangel @gay-flyboys @cultofsappho @welcometololaland @gayrootvegetable @rockyroadkylers @orchidscript @cha-melodius @candyspandemonium @onthewaytosomewhere @junebugclaremontdiaz @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @anincompletelist
#rwrb#rwrb fic#roop writes#my post#fic: tfsohe#i need to be more like henry and make my bed more diligently#i try i swear#also i did cry the other day over a reel of baby goats don't fucking judge me okay i was bleating right alongside them#i am on my Period#that is my JUSTIFICATION#i cried five times today and one of them was from HORNINESS AND ALSO YEARNING#thanks for that nicholas galitzine fuck you too#xoxo
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can you remember being born? were you born at all
#my art#kuron vld#vld kuron#vld#this is sorta a companiom piece to the haggar one i posted recently#also. just now realising the perfect timing of posting that drawing on MOTHERS DAY of all possible days#i swear i didnt plan that. didnt even cross ny mind?? but its neat ig#this drawing is pretty simple but i really like how it turned out!!!#it was meant to evoke those infographics of human fetus development#its wrong. there should be middle stages between a fetus and a fully grown adult man. but theres nothing there.#like. he had no childhood or anything. he just woke up as a full ass guy. theres no middle point between a mindless clump of cells and him.#no infant. no child. no teenager. just kuron.#this is wrong and unnatural and it shouldnt have happened but it did#the part of him that looks the most alive is the bloody arm. his life depends on it. hes nothing without it.#sigh. i have so much to say abt this piece and i feel like its pretty barebones and simple tbh#but i still cant put into words what i mean!!!!! i am trying and failing!!! argghhhhhhhhg. whateverr#i have THOUGHTS about this but a weird ramble is all youre gonna get folks. maybe one day il write a small coherent analysis of this thing#he will never escape haggar. he was not meant to. hes asleep and clueless and hell never wake up#he wont ever become more than what was planned for him. and he doesnt even know#blood#gore#i guess. not really gore. more like viscera and flesh?#kuronposting
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Sibling stuff (Mostly Brad) (Yeah Brad)
My friends called Kick a cat. It's their fault that this exist.
#my art#doodles#kick buttowski suburban daredevil#kick buttowski#brianna buttowski#brad buttowski#yeah brad#Local funny thing: I usually try not to use swears when writing any kbsd character despite the fact that I swear quite often#And here I am making Brianna of all people swear#the last comic is a reference but still
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Unanswered questions about Dazai's backstory that are driving me fucking insane
(Yeah, so, completely against my will, Bungou Stray Dogs has been consuming every last neuron in my brain for the past several weeks, so I thought I'd share my unraveling)
(mentions of eye injuries and self-harm/attempted suicide below the cut, if you're sensitive to those kinds of things).
(1) In season 2, episode 3, when Ango turns out to be a spy in the Port Mafia, Dazai says, "Everything I never want to lose is always lost. Everything worth wanting is lost the moment I obtain it. And nothing I pursue is worth the cost of prolonging this life, this suffering." Like! What the fuck does this mean?!?!! What happened in Dazai's life that made him think this? The way he says it indicates that him "losing things he wants to keep" has happened often enough for it to become a pattern for him, so what was Dazai talking about when he said this?
(2) In season 3, episode 3, why did Dazai say "thank you" to the old Port Mafia boss when he killed Rimbaud's double of him?
In the sub, he says "let me thank you for once," and in the dub, he says "I'll never get another chance to say this, so thank you". Why did he say that?
(3) Why did Dazai keep his eye covered as a teenager? At first, I assumed it was because Dazai had some kind of injury that he was covering, considering how easily it bled every time Dazai sustained some kind of damage to his head or face, but never to the eye directly. In episode 1 of season 2, when a bullet grazes the side of his face, his eye starts to bleed
and the same thing happens again in episode 1 of season 3 when Chuuya kicks him into a wall.
BUT! When Oda's dying and he pulls Dazai's bandages off, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with his eye. And it can't be that Dazai was just wearing them as some kind of intimidation tactic; there had to have been something wrong with it, because we see it bleed twice (even though the eye itself never sustained any direct injury), but there is no visual indication that anything is wrong with his eye, either in the flashbacks or in the present (no scars, seemingly no vision issues, and no discoloration in the eye like you might expect to see as a result of permanent damage). So I am asking WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE BANDAGES FOR
(4) Where did Dazai come from before he was in the Port Mafia? We know that he was a witness to the old boss's murder when he was 14, but Dazai wasn't an official Mafia member until he was 15 when Mori tasked him to work the Arahabaki case. Was Dazai always connected to the Mafia in some way, or did he come from a normal family before Mori inducted him?
(5) FOLLOWING THAT: where are Dazai's parents? In the "Fifteen" novel, it's stated that Dazai wasn't a mere orphan that Mori just picked up, but we don't know if Dazai's parents are dead or alive or where they would be if they were alive.
(6) What are Dazai's bandages actually for? Given Dazai's track record of suicide attempts, it's a common theory that the bandages are to hide self harm scars (I subscribe to this theory myself, as it's the most plausible), but we don't actually know because we've never seen Dazai without his bandages before.
EDIT: (7) Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. In season 3, episode 2-
What is the motivation behind this scene? Why does Dazai keep shooting? Why does he think that the soldier deserved to suffer more? Dazai offers the guy a more merciful death, but Dazai also thinks that a merciful death is "more than he deserves". Why does Dazai think this? This can't just be about this one soldier, because Dazai hasn't had any kind of encounter with him before this. Dazai is clearly having some kind of small breakdown, but what triggered it and why?
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#dazai osamu#bsd dazai#osamu dazai#recently ive been trying to write a fic for bsd but i kept hitting roadblocks because of all the unknowns about dazai and his backstory#i swear to god if we don't get some kind of proper backstory for dazai before the series ends im going to burn my house down#i am in your walls asagiri PLEASE FINISH YOUR CHARACTERS#bsd theories#bsd thoughts#bsd fifteen#bsd dark era
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working on getting my bluesky organized + wiped my twitter of all my art!! ive got a laundry list of shit to get to this month :') now im tryna repost my old art onto bsky (starting with 2022 lego monkie kid then working up to recent fnaf dca stuff) and finally include alt text as i know my art has been inaccessible </3
my goal is to add alt text to my art here too! this may take me a bit but ill get it done if it means making my art accessible to more people im very sorry for not having done it sooner!
#pingyappathon#tryna clean up socials + getting my life together rn ugh#also still working on fic stuff MADDD slow agh#trying to also get back into drawing + writing again (creative block u suck </3)#anyways life update guys i am FIGHTING for my life in the trenches hence the inactivity and lack of art or any updates on EBY fic stuff#i swear i have plans to post EBY's first chapter onto AO3 this month but chances are looking GRIM rn </3
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Quin: *learns that Obi-Wan slept with Jango*
Quin:
Obi-Wan:
Quin: now? really?
Quin: what is it about Mandalorians?
Obi-Wan: fuck off, Quin
[fast forward to the point Quin realises re's in love with Fox]
Quin:
Obi-Wan:
Obi-Wan: so
Quin: *glares*
Obi-Wan: *crosses hir arms with self-satisfaction*
Obi-Wan: what is it about those Mandalorians, I wonder?
Quin: *flips hir off*
(this is actually a pretty accurate re-telling of young man came from hunting, come to think of it)
#it was So much easier to mock obi-wan when quinlan wasn't in love rimself#specifically in love with the child of the fuck buddy obi-wan's secretely in love with.....#give quinlan a break literally ris first time falling in love and it had to be This#but also. could you resist a force-sensitive mandalorian fox?#that was rhetorical. no you wouldn't be able to#case closed.#i swear i am actually writing this fic and not just incorrect quotes#i'm trying to get myself into the quinfox mood alright#i succeeded btw so 😎#quinlan vos#obi-wan kenobi#quinfox#foxquin#vox#jangobi#kenfetti#young man came from hunting#incorrect star wars quotes#incorrect quotes
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I fucked up
#Is it socially acceptable to write a comment to a fic that is longer than the fic 😭😭😭#Is it socially acceptable to write a comment that is longer than the 10000 ao3 character limit 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#I'm so so embarrassed right now. This is why I've been struggling to write comments for a year now.#It's because every time I really like a fic I end up with an essay that takes hours to days to make#I'm so sorry to all the authors I've neglected commenting because of this I swear I'll try to do better in the future.#But right now I'm miserably failing. Man I put myself in a mess#Can someone please reassure me on this I'm feeling really insecure and I don't want to make the author uncomfortable.#Or genuinely tell me it's too much if it's too much#Fun fact the first comment I've ever written I was 16 and never ended up commenting because it breached the character limit too.#And 16 me was too much of an anxious mess to post it. And I probably still am#I'm so sorry ray/emma actors au fic I loved you so much.#Please don't ask what the fic is it's a relatively old one and this is already wholly embarrassing by its own for me#But to give you an idea of the proportions I'm talking about a 3k+ comment for a 2k fic ಥ_ಥ#random rambles#To all the authors my lack of self control has kept me from commenting to their fics: I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm
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