#crazed raccoon chitters

[off-the-rails-raccoon]

This is insanity, i am NOT a-okay. ohmygod. theyre getting their hopeful epilogue. theres a chance for them no one ever expected. theyre moving on and living their lives!!!

[experiment-dsmp]

Raccoon

You try to quietly scamper away from the door of your hiding spot and hit the back of the cupboard that you're hiding in, causing you to uncontrollably chitter.

The second the sound leaves your body you're freezing. You try to listen for Dream's movements but can't hear as well anymore because of your heartbeat increasing. After some time you start to slowly move closer to the opening again.

"There you are!" The sudden sight and sound of Dream cause you you to scream a bit. He reaches in with both hands, which apparently don't have fingers? and manages to grab you and pull you out.

"Put me down!" You shout as you struggle to try and get out. Dream just chuckles.

"Oh? And why should I do that?" He says as he give you a look that you don't know completely how to describe besides wild. "I was told to just do what I feel I need to."

You chitter a bit again as you end up looking at his eyes. "What? Nothing to say?" He says, as you try to read what else was in his eyes besides crazed.

[agentbuggy]

….UH UH HI!

Uh…. Sorry bout the mess

*She holds up the very much crazed looking raccoon*

This is Patrick, he’s…. Being weird right now and I’m not too sure why but I swear he’s friendly!

*Patrick chitters in annoyance as Buggy slightly shakes him, pounds of stolen stuff from this room is dropped onto the floor from his fur*

He usually does adore to steal, he just hasn’t been this crazy about it before yet

*A huge, feral and diseased looking raccoon runs straight in and starts stealing and causing an entire mess within the office*

PAAAAATRICK GET BACK HERE

*A short young girl runs in and starts chasing the raccoon, the raccoon runs into the desk and she instantly scoops up the huge animal*

HA!!

*takes her a moment to notice the other person there…*

….. OH HI!!!

(Agent Phoenix was just minding their own business, trying to get through the mounds of paperwork on his desk -- paperwork that he'd been putting off for months now, and his handler had finally persuaded him with a cupcake to finish it.)

(They're interrupted by a loud crash from one of the bookshelves . A dozen books had just landed on the ground. They look up.)

(Too busy processing the mess in their office that had somehow been caused by the raccoon in the last few seconds -- though admittedly there wasn't much difference -- they don't reply to the girl in front of them.)

(He instead opts for a quick wave hello, then gestures wildly at the raccoon, a questioning look on his face.)

[off-the-rails-raccoon]

Someone about Tommy being given presidency but giving it up to then given to tubbo.

Do you think tubbo thinks about it sometimes? Being given presidency because Tommy didn't want it. Being the second choice. Do you think he saw it that way.

I feel like this would parallel into the whole sidekick thing as well. Tubbo viewing it as him being the sidekick and given the scraps Tommy didn't want but Tommy viewing it as saying how much more capable and deserving Tubbo is for the title compared to him. Them continuing to live their lives without ever bringing it up to the other unaware of the differing perspectives. Does this make sense?

[off-the-rails-raccoon]

Favorite michael the piglin headcanons?

- cupid

YEAH!! I have a few specifically about Michael himself, and a few about other about him, i guess?? He's my favorite child to brainstorm.

Michael is autistic and non-verbal, so one of the first things cBeeduo had cTommy do after the Prison Incident was teaching the entire Underscore Beloved family sign language.

Michael views Shroud as a silly big dog and not the arachnid apex predator he is, much to the horror of cRanboo and delight of cTommy. (<- this specifically only applies where shroud is a normal minecraft spider)

When cPhil had first heard about cRanboo adopting Michael he gifted the little family all the books on babies and kids he owned, which ended up being a whopping fifty-seven large books that took multiple trips to get fully to the mansion.

despite having over eighty chew toys, Michael's favorite is cTommy. Just as a whole. Hands? covered in bite marks. Hair? covered in slobber. Clothes? covered in colorful stains from who knows what.

Because of how involved in raising baby cFundy cTommy was, cBeeduo heavily relied on him through out most of Michael's baby days. When they first learned of how unexpectedly good with babies cTommy was, cTubbo and cRanboo were sure he was just some sort of baby whisperer until cTommy broke the news that he simply had experience.

Michael is very interested in space, stars, planets, and everything cosmology related, and dreams of being a astronaut when he grows up. (totallyyyy not a reference to l'moonburg, whaahhahattt???)

[off-the-rails-raccoon]

Opinion on the seemingly divorced cbeeduo?

Very mixed feeling actually!!

Because on one hand, i love it dearly; its an accurate outcome to their marriage had cranboo not already died (skill issue) considering how incomparable they both seemed, how they both refused to get actual help or address their own traumas and instead tried to pull the classic "i love you more than myself and thats okay" (its not okay), and it seems like it was pushed by whoever they found themselves viewing as mentors (namely ctntduo and cTechno) whether that was on purpose or not. It also creates such a fascinating dynamic and i love brainstorming the psychology behind willingly separating for life from the person you thought you mutually loved the most, how they would handle taking care of Michael, and how they would go about their lives without eachother. (take my words with a grain of salt because i really dont know as much about cbeeduo as i wish i did lol, i just ADOORRREEE reading analyses of their relationship and the characters themselves)

On the other hand: OWIE OUCHIE YEOWCH!!!! It's SOOO painful to think about ohmygod dude. They were my last hope for a healthy marriage and we cant even have that. Michael with have to suffer the burdens of a broken marriage until they finally divorce and when they do he'll then have to suffer the burdens of two people who agreed to hate each other co-parenting him. And im not even going to start about how cRanboo and cTubbo with feel about it themselves.

On the other OTHER hand: cclingyduo marriage or calliumduo marriage. However, that would already be possible if cbeeduo stayed together because you could just have a ploycule, which i may like more than just a cclingyduo marriage or calliumduo marriage, im not sure yet!!

[off-the-rails-raccoon]

Trans cTommy who doesn't realise hes trans my beloved

YES YES YES!!! Either way this could be interpreted is great honestly. Like, ctommy pre-transition and very oblivious?? I'd love to see where that goes. ctommy who has transitioned but doesn't know anything about being trans and just assumes everyone changes their gender at some point?? Hilarious and amazing.

[off-the-rails-raccoon]

ctubbos vocal stim is buzzing like a bee

TRUE WORDS SPOKEN!!!!!! It doesn't matter WHAT hybrid he is, this will always hold true!!

Eventually, Michael will start doing it too and its comedic to imagine the scenario in which cRanboo will realize he know has to deal with the buzzing 2x

[off-the-rails-raccoon]

Any favorite dsmp headcanons? Or any of yours?

I have an entire Google doc dedicated to heacanons that desperately need to be revisited and rewritten so I'm SO HAPPY you asked this!! Though, I'm not sure where I got them because i usually come up with them by something extremely vague, or something i saw multiple years ago revamped to fit my interpretation of the lore. Of course, I'll only put my favorites, otherwise it'd just be mindless rambling and written works I'm not proud of <3

—Tommy was Aroace and used both He/Him and They/Them pronouns, but preferred masculine pronouns to be used more often.

—After the “Prison Incident,” Tommy suffered slight brain damage, which rendered him unable to perceive depth.

Because of this, Tommy became embarrassingly clumsy. They would constantly bump into door frames, knock cups over, and stand too close to people.

—There was never a day that went by where Tommy didn't gain a new injury. It may have been an odd bruise on his leg or a cut on their face from falling, but he always had something new.

It was rare to see Tommy without bruises or blood staining their face; most of the time, it was just from whacking himself in the face or the near constant nosebleeds he got on a daily basis for no known reason.

—Tommy had an excellent resistance to food poisoning because of how strong his immune system was, thanks to them spending the entirety of their life consuming less than edible things, including: mud, dirt, moss, small rocks, various types of bugs, flowers, unidentifiable berries, bog water, play-dough, rain water, blues clues toothpaste, a chunk of the Egg, random mushrooms, old cigarettes, seaweed, puddle water, uncooked meat, Wilbur's cooking, paper, puddle water, grass, bones, battery acid, raw salmon, worms, and occasionally rotten flesh, oddly.

—Due to dying so close to lava when Tommy was resurrected, it reset his normal body temperature to the unnatural warmth, leaving them vulnerable to the cold.

—Upon being revived, Tommy experienced a sensory overload—after being in limbo for over two months where there was no sensory other than the occasional “visit” from another occupant—and, much like his body temperature, his tolerance for touch lowered drastically.

—Because of the magic transferred from the Revival Book to Tommy, as well as the effects of the Blessing (<- a headcanon not yet developed enough to be put into words)—and probably bits of radiation poisoning from hanging out in Tubbo’s lab too often—they glowed a slight purplish hue, really only visible in the dark.

Tommy, simply wanting to cause chaos, had told Beeduo that he swallowed an entire glow-stick and the radiation he got from Tubbo and his workshop had reacted to the liquid inside, and, the best part, they believed him. (They didn't actually believe him, but they together decided against questioning him further, and instead chalked it up as another cryptid feature of his he didn't want to admit.)

—Tommy occasionally worked part-time jobs at Las Nevadas as a waiter or bartender for pocket money to give to Wilbur.

—Tommy had the same voice as Finn from the hit show Adventure Time.

—While Tommy had a wide variety of songs they listened to, he used to only have access to The Able Sisters and animal crossing soundtracks, given that technology and the ability to access other servers universe-wide was still fairly unexplored.

Because of this, on the rare occasion Tommy didn't have his headphones playing, they would often have audible hallucinations of The Able Sisters in the background.

—Tommy had a habit of biting or chewing on whatever was in hand, to provide a sense of comfort and security.

Often he’d hold his communicator just to chew on it, as an attempt to focus the strong emotion that clouded his thoughts into something physical. Or, more often than not, he’d bite his pointer finger and just hold it between his teeth, which would slightly muffle his speech.

Developed from childhood, the sensory stimulation mannerism originated as a coping mechanism for stress or uncertainty, but gradually evolved into a subconscious habit over time.

—Starting in early Logstedshire, Tommy had begun talking to themself both as a way to cope with the isolation and fill the achingly unfamiliar silent atmosphere, and to continue practicing their German, Spanish, Russian, and Dutch, so as not to get rusty with the languages. However, as time progressed, Tommy's quiet comments to himself turned into loud discursive monologues about both everything and nothing, bouncing incomprehensibly between five different languages, often lasting hours.

This habit had persisted even after his solitude had long since ended, meaning, anytime Tommy would get lost in their own head, he would begin to unintelligibly ramble aloud without realizing (much to the disgruntlement of Technoblade and many, many more).

Oftentimes, it worried Tommy, due to the fact this very habit was one of the first few signs of Wilbur’s spiral.

—Despite their insistence about being 6’ 2”, Tommy was at most 5' 11”. He molded an enlarged raccoon paw-print to the bottom of each of his shoes, to not only disguise his footprints, but also to make him appear taller.

The mold doesn't effectively hide his footprints anymore because of his runner blade where his right shoe would be, and when putting the raccoon paw-print next to the elongated groove, it created even more distinct footprints than before. (<- this last part is a tad outdated considering I now have the unwritten design trait of him wearing mismatched shoes, which wouldn't work with a runner blade)

—Tommy had a bad habit of spending days “tabbing out” (canonically dissociating, like seriously i can't make this up) in dark areas with little to no sunlight or light in general—like their house from paranoia, a random cave to gather cobblestone, or the church for praying—enough that they accidentally grew an increased sensitivity to sunlight.

He did this without anyone's knowledge, but Tubbo was usually able to tell by how much Tommy squinted and shielded his eyes when outside.

—Due to how unnatural it was, the use of the Revival Book caused aging in any dimension except Limbo to permanently cease in its victim. For that reason, Tommy remained nineteen even around three years after the ‘Prison Incident’.

Eventually, Tubbo and Ranboo became fully fledged adults with the responsibilities of a child, mansion, and even a nation, yet they still remained in close contact with Tommy despite the difficulties that came with maturing while he stayed the same nineteen year old he was. Even still, he provided a welcomed constant presence in their chaotic lives. (<- I view this as more of an au than an actual headcanon because I generally like the idea of benchtrio being around the same age)

—Because Tommy learned to stitch sutures before any actual sewing techniques for fabrics, the original L'Manburg uniforms—although almost professionally designed with the help of Niki—were very stiff and hard to move around in.

That actually turned out to be most of the headcanons, my bad!!

[off-the-rails-raccoon]

Did you like the new ending :3 (fuck the old one)

I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!!! It's the best logical way the dsmp could've ended AND because it's so open-ended, it leaves a lot of room for the fandom to build on, which isn't something you see a lot in media nowadays.

HOWEVER, it has been really bothering me these past few days since it was released, and I've had complex feelings about it that I haven't really been able to figure out until somewhat recently. Though, this is probably just me lol!

I'm gonna try to make this as short and legible as I can, but as you know I'm so very bad at that so sorry in advance.

Dsmp has been my main source of entertainment and an escape from just life in general since I first started getting into it—which was back in mid-2020 or so, but that was less of dsmp itself and more of the fandom. Though I still really enjoy the content creators content itself, I've watched them less and less and on the occasion that I see a clip or quote by them (especially Tommy) it's SO jarring how much they've changed and matured, and it's only a reminder of how I've done the same. That's the feeling I got when seeing the new lore. Everything has changed, people have matured, relationships have drifted apart, and we are living in the present.

It's like the feeling of finding an old toy that you distinctly remember loving so very much way back then and realizing you feel indifferent to it now. You've changed, your taste of things you enjoy changed, your relationships with people have changed, and you've grown.

I don't want to go back but I don't want to stop reminiscing, and this ending has made me realize that.

[off-the-rails-raccoon]

How do you think c!Tommy would react with a Nintendo switch? And do you think he would spam like fanart of himself?

One thing is for sure and that's the fact that his Nintendo switch would very quickly become one of his prized possessions. I don't for even a SECOND doubt that he would brag to anyone and everyone about it, while simultaneously refusing to let anyone touch it or even see it in some cases; which is fair.

I think he might be disappointed when he plays Animal crossing and sees it is not Sam nook but rather Tom nook, but he'll get over it very very quickly!

And he absolutely would spam like fanart of himself, the only issue is if it's done on Tumblr I think he'd see a post about how important reblogs and and he'd be devastated to know he wasn't actually supporting artists as much as he thought. I also like to imagine him having a Tumblr account in general.

[off-the-rails-raccoon]

When ctommy lived with Techno, he was very suprised to found out he and Phil eat Eggs with bacon for breakfast

And horrified, so very horrified. After loudly shaming Phil and Techno for half an hour Phil probably said something in passing about not even being able lay eggs and Tommy instantly had the assumption that was because of bird-menopause and silently lived with that truth for the rest of his life.

Techno also adamantly believed that piglins and normal pigs are different enough for it to be considered normal for a piglin to eat pork from a pig. But considering Tommy's lack of literacy and reading comprehension, Techno's proof in the form of books didn't help much.

[off-the-rails-raccoon]

Real I saw it happened

i genuinely cannot pick a favorite part of this oh my GOD. Look at ctommys smug face, look at how miserable they are after being scammed, look at TUBBO. TUBBO MY BOY. They both learned very valuable lessons and thats to trust NO ONE. AT ALL. EVER.

[off-the-rails-raccoon]

Which shape does ctommy give

I only vaguely understand this question so the most detailed answer you're getting is a rectangle with sanded edges.

[off-the-rails-raccoon]

Gigantic shroud or tiny baby shroud?

I'm going to have to go with gigantic Shroud, not only for the comedic factors but also because I like to think cTommy would (at least try to) train Shroud like those military dogs, yknow?

But I also like tiny baby Shroud because it's really funny to imagine cTommy forcefully including Shroud in every activity despite the fact he's so Itty bitty.

[off-the-rails-raccoon]

Quick, what about c!Tommy always needing to fiddling with something in his hands because it’s soothes him? And he used to chew on his sweater and nails but c!Tubbo went ‘Nope, not on my watch’ and made him a ring toy he could chew on without hurting his teeth.

And if you’re for the hybrid demon c!Tommy headcanon, him and c!Ranboo sometimes chirp at each other happily, both their tails wagging.

(Tubbo has no idea what they are saying or if they actually understand each other, but they’re bonding and he’s happy about that)

c!Tommy having the instinct to chew on things will never not be one of my favorite headcanons, I like to think the habit started when he was still a little lad; which is why it's so soothing to him.

"loving to the point of invention" is SO c!Tubbo and no one can tell me otherwise!!

I'd be willing to bet money that c!Tommy would forget about the ring when he's too deep in thought and will instead just chew whatever is in hand, including someone else's hand. c!Beeduo have horror stories and scars to prove it.

When Michael started teething, everyone thought it was because of c!Tommy and the fact Michael had already started copying a few of his other behaviors (including his resting angry face, funnily enough). It took c!Ranboo actually doing research via asking c!Phil for them to learn it was normal.

I think it'd be so funny if c!allium duo did chirp at each other but only one of them was actually communicating and the other was just mindlessly chirping, and I can't for the life of me figure out who would be who. Like, one of them think about how cool it is that they're able to communicate with their hybrid sounds despite being different species and the other being extremely happy to just mindlessly make and copy noises.