#but i still cant put into words what i mean!!!!! i am trying and failing!!! argghhhhhhhhg. whateverr

[im-smart-i-swear]

can you remember being born? were you born at all

[yeondollie]

ʟᴀᴅʏ ᴋɪʟʟᴇʀ ♡ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

'if i wan' her, imma steal her.' .ᐟ

. . paring ; huening kai x fem! reader

. . warnings ; ғʟᴜғғ .ᐟ, they are so cringe but cute i cant hehe :>, nicknames (my love and pretty girl), kissing, swearing, beach setting, i thinkk thats it this is just really cute hehe :p

. . words ; 0.7k

a/n ; i was going through my masterlist and i realized i have nothing for kai ahhh :< ! im so so so so so sorry ning but i started out with a fluff and i really think its cute. i wish it was longer but its one am and i am running on ariana grandes album hehe :p but if you guys like it maybeeee part two ? not proof read !

"kai put me down!" you laughed as he held you bridal style, inching closer and closer towards the sea. you weren't afraid of the ocean, you loved it in fact but you just knew how huening kai was. splashing water with him was on a whole differnt level.

he just laughed with that pretty smile of his while putting you down into the cold water, dunking your head underneath. while coming back up for a breather you felt his large hands wrap around your waist. you had to admit, it gave you butterflies no matter how many times he did it.

he made you feel so warm inside, you couldn't explain it no matter who asked. it was like you two couldn't be seperated. where you went, huening went. where kai went, you went. there was nothing stopping you guys from being the sappy couple you were.

whenever he would stare at you, like he was doing right now, you couldn't help but get nervous. is he looking at how pretty you are or slighty judging you? lucky for you, he was admiring how breathtaking you are. everytime without fail, you'd catch him smiling with those pretty eyes when staring at you.

"what is there something on my face?" you asked, smirking slightly.

he raised his eyebrows, a smile accompaning it soon after. "yeah actually.. i think you have a bad case of beautiful pretty gorgeous amazing girlfriend fever." he says, placing a big kiss on your cheek. you giggled loudly and payed him back by placing more kisses all over his face.

"i think you might possibly have a bunch of lipstick stains on your face." you say, trying your best to rub them off. instead he gently pulled your hands away, wanting you to leave them on his face. "hey! i actually like when my girlfriend gives me love, keep them. please?" he says gently, placing your hands in his.

the two of you were still in the ocean, a beautiful sunset behind the both of you. it was so cheesy. a love story on the beach? yet kai made every corny second feel like a spark. there was no dull moment with him, and i mean ever. you were always smiling or laughing with him, you weren't even sure why.

"_____ you're the girl i wanna be with forever, you know that?"

god what was he doing to you? this feeling was weird. it was like you were crying but no part of you was sad. you were in everyway happy but you couldnt help the tears fallng down your already wet cheeks. "kai.." you say, wrapping your arms around his shoulder.

"why are you crying? did i.. sorry was that weird?" he took his large hands to wipe the tears away from your pretty face. instead of answering him you went up to kiss him. it was full of love, passion, and affection. his arms went back around your waist and yours stayed wrapped around his neck,

the longer the kiss went on, the more tears spilled from your eyes. when the two of you finally disconnected, you spoke through your shaky voice. "kai i.. i don't d-deserve you.."

his eyebrows furrowed and brought you closer to him. your head rested against his wet, cold chest but no it wasnt hold. not in the slightest. every touch with him was warm, even in this situation. "_____ i'm even lucky to know you but to hold you? kiss you? be yours? i've never been happier my love."

everything was perfect. the setting of course, the beach was gorgeous and the sunset made everything feel so romantic. the weather, it was warm and cozy for the time being. yet your favorite part? the boy.

huening kai made everything worth it. to see his big smile, to hear his goofy laugh, and to be his was your absolute favorite. "kai.. i-i."

"shh.. i got you pretty girl. i love you, more than myself. okay?" he said, holding your hands in his and whispering in your ears. your eyes shed their final tears and just let the words sink in. this was everything you could've wished for.

"forever?" you ask, smiling under your breath.

"duh."

[valentine-writes]

Can you do enemies to lovers with 1016 Miles?? :3

[ this will be my last req for this account, moving to my new blog officially once this one is up! catch me on @l0vem41l <3 reqs will be open there when i'm ready ＞︿＜ ]

overachiever

「 tws + notes: no tws, unedited, burnout, reader also attends visions academy, reader is trying so so hard to not be mean and fails (im so sorry), one-sided academic rivalry, author doesn't know how american schools work (i am so so sorry), comfort (?) 」

「 gn!reader, can be platonic or romantic <3」

↳ ft. miles morales (1610)

author's note: YES I CAN!!! however,, i put a lil twist on the prompt given and made it academic rivalry (i genuinely cant find a viable reason to beef w/ miles i am so sorry (-﹏-；) !!) anyways! hope this works with you!!! soz itz so short!!! :[[

"wow," your friend's eyes light up, scanning over your test results, "...you've gotta be like, the smartest person i know."

you laugh politely, smiling at them as they hand your paper back. "no, it's really not that big of a deal–"

"what do you mean 'not that big of a deal?! dude, you got 100% on a test most people failed." your friend shoves their paper in your face as evidence– a 57% in red on theirs. "that's like... the highest grade achievable. probably the highest in cla–"

"THIS GUY GOT A 101%!"

everyone turns to the voice– the loud kid who sat behind miles eyeing his test.

you blinked in disbelief. you didn't even know getting extra credit was possible on this one.

miles looked up at the faces of his staring peers faces filled with disbelief and slight annoyance, and fumbled to set his test face down on his desk. he flashed an awkward grin "uh... yeah?"

-

▸ you liked miles. he was friendly. sweet. genuine. you couldn't hate him if you wanted to. no, you didn't feel hate towards him. it was just... jealousy. simple, petty, burning jealousy.

▸ visions academy was something you had to work your ass off for, constantly studying just to stay on the level of the students who attended. NERDS. all of them were nerds. but you were attending this school too sooo,,,

and then there was miles. someone who barely even had to try to get the highest grades. he had you seething.

▸ the most humiliating part was the fact that he had little to no interest in competing with you at all. the few times you had spoken were awkward and curt on your end, and yes– it felt awful being so mean for something as small as personal resentment.

▸ nothing justified your one word responses or the accidental snark that would slip into those few words. you mentally kicked yourself for the times you watched his grin falter because of something you said, miles awkwardly trying to laugh off whatever cold remark you just shot at him.

he'd walk away, dejected, and you'd stand there for a moment– frozen as you fought the urge to run up to him and try to explain yourself or beg for forgiveness. it didn't make sense to at this point. maybe he'd just accept this was the way you were– the way things would be between you two.

▸ so yes, perhaps in your pursuit of favouring school over every other aspect of your life, your social skills were left rotting and underdeveloped. but you knew, deep down, it wasn't just you being awkward.

being around him made you feel small. talking to someone, radiating the aura of someone with a promise-filled future made you look completely directionless and clueless in comparison. the effort you put into your academics was almost repulsive to think about when miles could take a test with a blindfold on and probably still score 90s.

maybe it was the deep set fear that you'd never amount to anything if you didn't burn yourself out trying. all of a sudden, the academic validation of being good wasn't enough. not when you were one of the best once.

▸ you spent an absurd amount of time trying to avoid him, deliberately moving to the furthest corners of the library so he wouldn't see you there struggling to wrap your head around whatever you were being taught in physics.

heavens above forbid that he walk up to you, greeting you with that sunny smile and cheerful voice that could make anyone falter. you may have been jealous of him– but oh, how you hated that feeling that way when he nothing but well-meaning.

-

the last sip of your coffee– long cooled by now thanks thermodynamics– did nothing to make you feel less dead. you had lost track of the time you had spent practically decomposing in this library, studying for an upcoming physics test that had you reeling just by the mere thought of it.

you sighed, staring at the papers strewn on the desk. your hands fidgeted with the pencil in your hand, it's eraser and tip rendered flat and useless by now, as you tried to muster the energy to gather your things to leave. it was much too late. the library would be closed soon and you'd be forced to go back home to study at your own desk in your bedroom.

this was routine. go to school, study in the library until it gets dark, and go home to study more– the next day, you'd find yourself still awake and studying or with a headache, your cheek pressed to the desk, and drool on your notebook. yeah. your bed hasn't been used in a solid while. and science homework isn't exactly the comfiest pillow. but this is what you were used to.

standing up, you stretched out a bit– and immediately froze as a familiar voice called your name. you paused, reluctantly turning to the source of the voice.

"...god, morales–" you huffed, "you nearly scared me half to death."

this is the friendliest you've been towards him in a while, he notices, as you flash him a tiny, crooked smile on your tired face. all potential malice you could have held had been beaten out by your absolute lack of energy.

he approaches you and looks at your desk, considering what to say to fill the silent air. he places a hand on your shoulder, you stiffen–

"hey." miles flashes a grin, not his signature smile but,, somewhat of a forced smolder.

you stare and resist the urge to cringe, wondering if you were sleep deprived to the point of hallucinations. you gently brush his hand off your shoulder.

"...hi?" you respond, unsure of what to do.

miles is snapped out of whatever stupid trance he was in by your voice.

"oh– uh– yeah, hey," he repeats your name again, trying to recover from whatever that was, "is– is everything okay?"

"i could ask you the same thing."

he lets out a little chuckle. "you know what i mean. all... this." miles' hand gestures vaguely to your desk and current state of complete entropy. "how long have you been here?"

you avert your gaze, shame burning in your face. "i... don't know?"

a pause.

miles places a hand on your back this time, in an attempt of friendly comfort. geez, are they keeping you locked in here?" he quips, earning half of a dry laugh from you. "c'mon. you should probably get home and rest by now."

"but–" your lips part in protest, looking back up at him to argue– but he just looks back, concern filled in his dark doe-like eyes. all possibilities of fighting him on this were out the window.

"you need it." he insists, a gentle smile forming on his face. much better than the weird smoulder from earlier, you think. "i'll even walk you there."

before you can speak up, he moves away from you, beginning to help you gather up your things to pack up. you mumble a silent thank you to him, which he accepts happily with a nod.

as he hands over the papers, his eyes scan them. "oh! physics? i love physics."

"no shit, morales." you scoff, snatching up the papers from him and stuffing them in your bag. "it sure seems to love you."

yet again, you've managed to mess things up. you bite the inside of your cheek before you can say anything worse. a sigh escapes your lips, as you decide to at least try and save the interaction.

"look... i'm really sorry. it's been a rough day, i've been struggling to get the concepts down, i'm falling behind and feeling stupid as hell right now, and– to make everything worse, the fucking test is just stressing me out and i just– i just..." you trail off from your ramblings, a sob getting caught in your throat as your shaky hands grip your backpack.

"woah, woah, hey– it's okay."

he slowly puts an arm around your shoulder, careful not to startle you or make you uncomfortable. you don't even realize how you lean into him. "let's just get you home. you've done your best, yeah?"

you nod. he offers you a little smile.

"exactly. and that's enough. okay? you're doing more than you can handle right now." there's a few more shared words as he reassures you.

part of him wonders how long this had been going on– how long you had been working yourself until you broke– mainly because that test that was stressing you out was more than a week away. yeah. he'd need to convince you to watch after yourself more often.

-

"and now a silly one!!!" (more lighthearted hcs below for the aftermath of this becuz goodness me.)

▸ things definitely ease up around miles. if he can't convince you to step away from your work, he's chosen to be able to regulate it.

studying with him in a local cafe is now a frequent thing you two do together. miles always gives you time to work, but will then ever so subtly lure you into moving on from your work to hang out with him normally. and it works. every single time. you might start in the library or cafe, but where you'll be later? always a mystery.

whether it's a walk in the park, going back to his place to chat, or finding some random activity to do, you find yourself bonding with him more and more. your jealousy begins to fade, finding a friend in him instead of someone you have to one up.

▸ you both spontaneously decided to see a new horror movie once and accidentally got miles in trouble with his parents for coming home after curfew. and he'd 100% do it again in a heartbeat if you asked.

▸ no matter what you get on that next test, miles is going to congratulate you like it's the best he's ever seen. he's overjoyed to share your achievements, to celebrate them like no one in your life ever has.

miles holds up his test as you tell him your grade. "you got a 92? hey look– me too!"

a snarky voice speaks up, "well, i got a 98% so–"

"no one was talking to you." miles retorts.

you press a hand to your mouth and look away, trying to stifle laughter. was he always this sassy or did you just end up rubbing off on him?

▸ you both end up being extra studious for the next test (breaks included this time) and he's sure to be extra loud about congratulating you for your perfect 100%

maybe the sass wasn't all you,,, but the minor pettiness definitely is your influence. it's actually not. miles is pretty easygoing,, but man did he not like when that random ass kid gave you attitude.

you smile at miles, ensuring to do the same for him if not, a little louder

"what? 'm complimenting you." you tilt your head at miles' stunned expression.

for a moment, he stumbles over his words. "i know– you just– i didn't expect that from you, so–"

you laugh. "what? you want me to go back to being mean or something?"

miles laughs too. it's hard not to stare at the way he lights up a room like this.

▸ things feel lighter now. you've made social progress with others, you have a life beyond just school– and you have miles. part of you wonders if you'll ever be able to tell him just how much he means to you and how you wish you could've just been his friend from the start.

sometimes, in the corner of his eye, he catches your wistful stare. and though he doesn't utter a single word, you start to feel that he cherishes you just as much.

[yippeeometer]

The Northeast states watching out for each other, but they're subtle about it. Like dropping off a cup of coffee, but if someone comments on it, they'll brush it off like it's no big deal

oh no its much worse.

the northeast but they're trying to be subtle and desperately failing bc they're all as dense and emotionally constipated as the other.

cut drops off coffee for york. york immediately assumes he's laced it with poison bc they are peak sibling core. they argue intensely, during which cut insists if he needed to kill york he would be MUCH more physical and he has not poisoned the coffee (he had laced it with sleeping pills bc 'the city that never sleeps' turns out not to be an exaggeration.

cut spends the next few hours complaining to new hammy about it. hammy's eye twitches the whole time as he recollects last week, when he did the exact same thing to cut and they had the exact same argument. ur honour they're not beating the 'exact same person in different shirts' allegations.

in fact, many of them can recite, word for word, the exact schpiel jersey goes through every time someone asks for ingredients from his garden. oh my god i hate you get a job why are you always mooching off me. what the fuck do you mean you'll go to a grocery you're taking things from my garden. ill bring them over myself. idiot.

there's just a silent agreement that there's no alcohol allowed at parties anymore bc after Pa's like 9th attempt at sobriety they all had a big think ab where the problems were stemming from and that was the best thing they could think up.

because i am a heavy believer in jewish ne supremacy there is a wonderful period between rosh hashannah and yom kippur when they're all putting in the best effort to be nice to each other which immediately dissolves the second they have to try and decide who gets to use the shofar. they may not be able to physically fight today, but trust the grudge will be remembered.

the level of PTSD and just general issues within that group must be so intense but because they are emotionally represed. they just. arent allowed to talk about it. someone could be having a full breakdown but u r a member of the northeast and you should just let ur heart break inside and never ever talk about it because it would be Awful and Wrong

however. what u can do. is watch sport together in silence. maybe you'll even say 'good game' at the end by be careful of that one because its basically a confession of ur endless fraternal support, wouldn't want to get too deep would we.

and ur only allowed to talk about ur problems through jokes. haha yeah i still see faces of war in my sleep. haha yeah i cant cope w the guilt anymore. hehe.

so to answer your ultimate question, the most pain you can experience is not even your own, but that of ur brother when he drowns and you are not allowed to save him. but anyway.

[luka-couffaine-ship-tournament]

Round 1 Side A - Pair 1

CAMPAIGN

Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng

-They‘re just so good for each other. Luka is such a calming presence in Marinette‘s chaotic life and helps her relax when she feels anxious and unsure of herself, always willing to be there for her and offer a helping hand during tough times. Marinette has a deep appreciation not only for Luka‘s ability to play music but also hear heart songs, as if she understood immediately what he meant after listening to him play for the first time. They feed off each other‘s creative energy and are just generally so wholesome together. I could talk about them forever, they make me so happy!!

-Luka is the best boy, and deserves love from the girl he adores

-I just woke up and am too lazy to think of words for my favorite couple so here's some gifs as propaganda

Gif de gifs-misc

Gif de bizarrelovesquare

Gif de notasiren21

Gif de ouiladybug

Gif de kochengnoir

Gif de jeldraximo14

Gif de notasiren21

Luka Couffaine/Sabrina Raincomprix

-Listen, Sabrina needs someone who treats her well, she needs someone who considers her an equal and someone to show her what real love is like. And I truly and honestly think that she would try her best to understand and appreciate Luka but who he really is (if she can see the good in Chloe she is capable of seeing a God when she meets one)

-Vote lukabrina people. We cant lose this!

-This is just unfair we need to help our girl out!

I'll start!

Item Number One: Viperhound Is S Tier

This is the fucking duo right here, this is endlessly clever and positive tag team action, this is a pair who will NOT fail the mission alright?

They are designed so interestingly parallel and then put right next to each other in this sweeping shot of the new miraculous squad???

Like, am I supposed to not assume something about it??

Item Number Two: opposites contrast

Orange and Blue, extremely Sun and Moon energy, but I don't think that would make this ship sail smoothly. See, Luka likes being a moon. He is happy to support and enjoys being someone's shining beacon in the endless dark of night, and no one needs that kind of anchor to hold onto more than Sabrina right now. Sabrina cut ties with her best and only friend and while we see her hanging out with other classmates just fine, we don't really know how she is with being actual friends with people. I don't think anyone has tries to reach out to her since evillustrator and we saw in that episode how she approaches new potential connections. Overwhelmingly cheerful and warm and oppressively clingy, like a ray of sunlight that won't leave your eyesight on the hottest day of the year. She means well but, boy, she can be a lot. And more importantly, she needs to be the one helping because, what kind of friend is she if she isn't? Who is she if she's not doing everything for everybody else? It would, amusingly and annoyingly and endearingly, put her into conflict with Luka, who is similarly always pushing his own problems aside to help people with theirs. This would lead them into a loving rivalry of "take care of yourself" "no u" that goes both ways, a back and forth that ends with them reluctantly letting the other help them. And after so many years as someone's shadow, Sabrina deserves to have someone in her orbit, someone she shines a light on when he needs to be seen.

Item Number Three: YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE

Look I'm SORRY okay, but I have to say this even tho I also think their ship got done dirty by the show, I still think they wouldn't have lasted. I think Marinette and Luka being "too easy" is exactly their problem, as even if they didn't have everything else to worry about Marinette needs complexity or she starts to lose her mind overthinking things and goes looking for it. The simple nature of her relationship with Luka is what 13 year old Marinette needed, the Marinette who wasn't Ladybug yet, who hadn't stood up to Chloe and maybe even just had her heart broken in a mean prank. It makes sense she'd fall in love with and gravitate towards this living embodiment of all the comfort and security she wished she had, she had desperately needed at that time. But that's just it, she needed it then. And now she can rely on herself a lot better, she has a whole support system to fall back on, and what she needs from a romantic partner is something else. But Sabrina? She's done horrible things in the name of her friendship with Chloe and even enjoyed some of them, but had finally hit her limit of how much abuse she can both dish out and take herself. Sabrina can definitely recognize that Luka is a good person, but more importantly Luka would have to actually try to sympathize with a person, rather than just immedietely like them. Lest we forget, Sabrina is the one who locked Juleka in the bathroom on picture day. Chloe told her to but Sabrina physically did it. Being confronted with someone who hurt his sister but is, herself, hurting, and is determined to help everyone but herself will be a lot of conflicting emotions for Luka, and Sabrina would need to get used to being the center of someone else's attention in a way not entirely dissimilar to how Chloe was for her, although significantly less codependent.

What makes Lukabrina interesting isn't that they're perfect for each other or that it's immedietly easy.

It's awkward and messy and they clash, they push each other out of their comfort zones and find a new one to settle in together.

It isn't instant or love at first sight, but by resolving their issues with each other through communication, honesty and trust, they are able to become a happy and wholesome couple.

Don't fucking tell me the odds lol, I know they're probably not winning but they deserve a fighting chance. So please feel free to add your own Lukabrina Viperhound propaganda!

TAG:

Luka/Marinette - @mikoriin

Luka - Twitter @Karma_sensei_

@lukacouffaineappreciation

[isadrora]

Alexs short story based on a Gomens fic!

Alexander Perry

Year 6

Class Mr Olewayo

English assignment 4: Creative writing

Write a piece of fiction including character, symbolism and metaphor.

Introduction:

Title: On the 7th Day

Intro explanation:

I wanted to write a story based on the story I wrote about for the assignment previous. That one I wrote about a piece of Fanfiction by a good writer irisbleufic which based on Good omens the characters and world. Getting their permission I am allowed to use that story to write what they inform me is “companion piece”. This will be from the point of view POV from the other main character in the story that is Aziraphale the angel. I am really going to try hard to use different types of language and speech in my story because I want it to do the originale proud. I will also be using spellcheck on Word much more carefully as Mr Olewayo wrote that I should to make my writing even better. I will also like to say my mum did help with Formulating sentences. I am not very good at making sentences sound correct (verbs nouns etc) but the ideas, dialogue, everything else is mine.

On the 7th Day

Monday

Places for everything: and everything in place.

Aziraphales View on Book keeping was much in keeping with his liking of human language because it had many sides. He thought that it was awful clever of human beings to make language as they did that it could mean so many things on such levels (although he likes to take some pride in the idea that he actually had large role in encourage the people along, the Tower of Babbel of course was an accident but he rather thinks a lucky one). Because he, Aziraphale, Bookseller, Soho gentleman, Angel of Heaven, former Guard of East gate of Eden, Traitor of the Great Plan … no wait where did THAT thought pop from?

Aziraphale pauses with a Book in hand and shakes head and goes back to his big thoughts. Ah yes, his View on Book Keeping (The capital letter of course was important. An angel didn’t have opinions or goodness forbid philosophies. A View showed a certain level of height).  Book keeping was not just what he did: he kept the books as he sorted out the taxes and the money runnings of his Shop. He is very good at this, so good the government is suspicious of him. On another level though he is a actual “keeper”: he keeps the books safe, is a guard of them just like he was in Eden and … his thoughts start to wander a bit then. It is after the Apocalypse that they (They! They! They! His heart starting to beat a bit here that he smooths down like he does the bowtie) stopped just in time. He remember now how good it was, the Park after, then the Ritz restaurant. He remember also jokes about his name that never leave him really (“Oh Azira-FAIL: another frivols miracle cant even ride a horse without some heaven help.”) But none of those jokes hurt so much now after… after all of it now. Aziraphale, who is Bookseller, Soho shopowner, Angel of… Heaven? He guesses?... Guard of … books? Traitor…

Oh BOTHER.

Aziraphale sighs.

He picks up the phone.

“Mm?” says Crowley.

If there is a more annoying way to answer a phone then Aziraphale hasn’t heard it yet. But at this point the annoyal is part of the affection (the angel part of him freezes up a bit at the word but the part that’s been growing under and thru it puts it on a shelf. A Bookshelf even)

He is pretty sure the rubbing off thing is supposed to be rude but he is also sure that Crowley isn’t as sure as he seems to be. He has once read the phrase “throwing things at a wall and hoping it sticks”. He doesn’t like modern terms but this strike him as a good one to keep for what Crowley does a lot.

What he does know when he hangs up, is that cury is on the menu. And that Crowleys plants will need some loving helps when he comes back over.

Tuesday

Messaging- Invitations and water bird care

The View that Aziraphale (still very much Bookshop owner and loyal Angel of… somewhere anyway) has about Tuesday was that it’s a day to take stock of the mail and paperwork. Because he Has Standards ™ he of course does not mail by computer. He has a cellular phone but this is of the chunky typ and only because the Arrngment had made it so Crowley insisted on it a few years ago in the prep for Apocafail (aha that play on his name both funny and eye rolling). It can just about send a picture but honestly why will he bother because he has pushed the “no frivols miracle” nonsense to the side. With a thought he can send images and ideas… if he needs. To. Still the thought is kind of nice. But there is mail of the good paper sort to tend to and today he is restless. Usual contacts in the bookselling world (Aziraphale if he cared to look close at anything would be forced to admit to basically “book sharing” because he always got his back…. But those others well… there is a reason hes not Heavens most commendated angel). There is also some mail from his tenant in the music shop and lots of advert mail. Nothing hold his attention because he woke up and had a definite idea that wont go away even on 3rd cup of tea and chocolate biscuit. Aziraphale who is a bookshop owner, who was the guardian of East of Eden, who is now very much going through a withdraw from demon shaped presence (not to be total admitted yet) sends a polite card in the mail. A simple idea of feeding the ducks, they must be missing the attention! And he knows a demon who loves animals definitely more than he thinks his kind are meant to.  He doesn’t believe in post that takes time and so it doesn’t.

The phone ringsd a few minutes later. Aziraphales smile if he could see his own face would light up the whole place.

Wednesday

On

In the View of Aziraphale, angel of a Soho bookshop, former soldier in Heavan, current guard of… wait what was he thinking again?

Actually, Aziraphale thinks, actually his point is… actually his point is…

My lord but he’s thirsty.

This is not the first time hes thirsty. His body is human. That is the whole point of all the thing. It would not be fair otherwise. It needs to breathe and go to the loo and actually now hes been on earth quite a bit its trained itself to need food. That as he has since learned is called Conditioning. Both him and Crawley (oh dear he did it and he Dead named: that is only when he lets his mind go back to early days on earth and he always feels bad no it CROWLEY of course) are now so earth bound that the needs of earth bodies have become more. Out of nowhere he remembers how Crowley once told him a story about how he had to go to the loo after a long sleep. At the time he had been sick at the thought and now he lies … on a couch?... and he feels a blush because … he doesn’t know why.

Anyway he sort of feels like maybe he needs the loo too but this is not his bookshop.

Aziraphale who was the guard of the gate of Eden and who now is the angel of a bookshop that he is not in sighs very loud because he knows of course where he is.

"I thought I told you to go home," Crowley muttered, yawning.

And there he is Crowley. His words are different from his facial espresion though this is true lots of time. He has not got black pjs like Aziraphale would suspect. Instead they are quite thick red flannel. This isn’t really a shock because Crowley is not as cool as he thinks people thinks he is and also, he freezes like anything.

For one very bad moment Aziraphale thinks he really wants him to go. How can he be sure after all, Crowley is a demon still that’s not changed right? Too much pushing of barriers that they (or who did? Not good question ugh his head) put up maybe will just get him angry. He doesn’t want to be thrown out hed rather leave himself.

But when he stands to go there Crowley is, he is seeming irritated and sighing but something in his eye says “sit, stay, you welcome”.

That’s more than he very felt back on Heavan.

So he does.

Thursday

DEFINITELY NOT Cleaning

The former Heavanly warrior that is still called Aziraphale, him who is bookshop owner sometimes trader of books to those who maybe deserve it, is looking at his bookshop just in its state. It’s a good bookshop. It is him made into the form of a place. Crowley was very right to use that line “No more Old Bookshops” as the parting line to try convince him to help stop The End Times. Probably maybe he would have been convinced anyway: hes starting to think, to realize that theres love and then there is Love and he hopes so much to find if there is maybe difference. But first he must look at this bookshop of his and feel it. Its where he found a home first and even Crowley found him here with a cholate box like a romantic date when he was opening even if the bosses (his human heart bumps just at idea of Gabriel and the resat even now how sad is that) made it dangerous. The past angel of the east gate is having lots of thoughts and feelings very fast and all of this goes one way to the thought that he’s been a bit (okay not a bit a lot) wrong.

The bookshop needs cleaning but then again it always needs cleaning. He made it this way so that he could keep being Keeper of Books instead of just a book keeper. He looks out over the shelfs that he know and loves and the lovely yellow paint (eyes likes a demon now he can think it ) and also the lovely skylight where he can see the stars he remembers that Crowley… no, must not think that he thinks. Ok then one think to do. Modern day telephones make so easy!

Crowley is here as he always is, being funny about stuff like dust and plants and books. For the first time Aziraphale thinks that there MUST be some reason other than just worry Crowley comes when he calls. Maybe he shall try to test it?

"See, that's the problem with things like dust, and plants," Crowley added philosophically, helping himself to some more tea. "If they're inanimate, then I'm your aunt. You've got to let them know who's boss."

This is not new idea to Aziraphale who has heard Crowley talk like this since at least the 70s. But he thinks that if at least its got Crowley here, it’s a good begnining

Friday

Some washing

Aziraphale is now just looking on at Crowley as he sleeps and he feels bit guilty about it. They are in his own room that he made for himself at the small living space at top of the bookshop. It is still kind of weird that he made an Effort to make a flat that is nice upstairs, because he never cared that much before he started to have Ideas. The Ideas have taken space of Views. Its funny that because Views are from above looking down but Ideas are just all over the place. Ideas like Crowley slept over last night. It was just hugging and because Crowley is always cold because of course he was snake the snake of Eden even, he suffers from cold a lot. Warming him after some glasse4s of wine and then they talked a lot about some old idea, a poem by Shakespeare that was a sonnet they could not agree upon. So not Crowley in in this room and Aziraphale wants to do lots of things. He wants to bring breakfast and wake him up, but then also he wants to just hug him and wait for to wake up. He does not get chance to do anything unfortunately.

Crowley is already awake and he seems snappy. But then.. then…

“"Then I'll start sleeping over, how's that?"

The angel of the Soho bookshop puts on his cashmere coat and then goes to the finest mattress shop he can find.

Saturday

Various stuff… But more future than past

Aziraphale, him who once was a soldier and then he was a guard, then became an enemy of a demon and now… and now is what?

He thinks that’s the question.

He thinks hes just the owner of a weird bookshop that’s a second home for a good demon. He might be other things but what he’s doing right now is going out to have a look around in Soho. Soho is a good place, it is very open and that’s why he has stayed over these years. He has also done many blessings over this time so he feels connected to it. The queer community in this place is very good and have some help from him, he feels always that they’ve needed his help. He doesn’t question sometimes this.

Now what is he? Hes had some time to think. Hes had some time to feel.

No miracles ever felt so good as just feeling Crowleys hand in his own hand during one time on the couch. The choice then he thinks he must make. Crowleys waiting for him.

He gets a vague idea of what Crowleys up to because its not like he drives or would ever take public transport! He knows where Crowley is always and he likes that idea. Now hes going to use it more!

Frivolos miracle blinks away.

Crowley looks surprised and lovely and all rumpled in his hair. But he still says

“Ill get my coat!”

Sunday

The plotting… of further good days

Aziraphale who once guarded a gate and also once fought a war and also once thought that stuff like Sides mattered in the Great War TM  , who is still an angel in the idea that he does miracles and still feels like God (copywright) is still with him… Aziraphale is feeling good.

He is lying and waiting for Crowley to come back with some tea and crumpets. The crumpets are important because theyre going to have jam on them.

Aziraphale doesn’t sleep very much. But he is very happy to change that if he can stay here.

Crowleys back with some tea and nice jams and crumpets and they eat. The ideas about Gentlemen go out the window because at no point was Crowley only a man, or only one thing and then they laugh about what human ideas of a gentleman means… its fun. Much more fun that anything that could ever be in heavan.

“Crowley, I think..”

The bookshop angel has a bit of a think because hes slow but he isn’t actually stupid.

Crowley looks at him and says “Okay?”

The Book Keeper says “Forgive me because this is too late”.

And then they kiss.

[animal-lover-forever]

(Hi, I wrote this in advance and.. you can ignore this if you want. XD I'm sorry for using they/them on you I default to it when talking about someone.. that probably doesnt look good for me actually. I just kinda blanked on you being female so I apologize!! Also I felt like it was addressing more than just you, others who have been in similar situations aswell. So yeah.. sorry for it being long. "If I had more time to write it, I would've made it shorter" or something like that.)

Hi, I am a trans person, I am VERY much all for trans people and everything being accessible to trans people. I just want to say something. I use neopronouns myself too, and weird names in general.

What Dakota said was a MISUNDERSTANDING! If they said it like "man I wish there werent so many types of math to remember" or something like that IT WOULDNT BE MATHPHOBIC?? (That is a horrible example, but I am mathphobic[/j I just hate math] and it was the first thing i could thing of)

It's not them being transphobic. They may have been able to phrase it better, yes. But arent they a kid? And also they will respect your pronouns and your gender. They'll call you whatever you want, it's just a simple misunderstanding. If they slip up, it's just as simple as misremembering. Its HARD remembering a lot, I cant remember a lot of people's name, I cant remember a lot in general.

No, just because they may have forgot doesnt mean they "didnt put in enough effort" or "arent trying" or something. Guys, GROW UP! I'm serious. One misunderstanding isnt enough to go around claiming someone as transphobic WHEN THEY ARE FRIENDS WITH MANY LGBTQ+ PEOPLE AND DONT GIVE A CRAP!

They aren't transphobic. Leave them alone.

Thanks.

And yeah, I probably could have worded it differently. But that was the best I could do.

I often forget that what I say, will come out differently. As in, people will hear it one way, but what I'm thinking is totally different.

A lot of that comes down to my autism and ADHD. But mainly my autism.

I often have trouble saying what I mean. And that makes things hard. Because when I say something, people hear it, but not as I'm thinking. (I don't even know if this makes sense. But this does prove my point at least.)

I also tend to talk without thinking. And this doesn't really help my case.

I have said this once, but I'll say it again.

If I have said something offensive, it was most likely an accident. Sometimes I say offensive things without realizing it. Mostly because I didn't think it would be offensive. Or I worded it in a way that makes it seem like I'm being offensive, when I'm not trying to be.

If I ever say something offensive, just let me know. I probably didn't even know I did. So just let me know, and I'll correct myself. And try to remember for the future.

I do understand that I can cross lines by accident. Crossing lines without realizing, is something I've done my whole life. I try and try to not cross those invisible lines. But I always fail to do so.

When a line is invisible, I cross them. Why? Because I can't see them. A lot of those lines are visible to others. But they are not for me.

If you can show me that line, then I can do a better job at not crossing over them. But keep in mind that I'm slow to pick things up. So even if you try to explain, it still might take me awhile to finally see the line.

But just know that I try my best to see the lines. Despite the fact that most of them are invisible.

[fierceawakening]

You know, the more I think about my mom’s behavior, the more the thing Forbidden YouTube calls “vulnerable narcissism” makes sense to me as an explanation, whether or not there is such a thing above and beyond stuff this one person I am related to does.

That being that literally everything is bad to or for her. My dad got implants put in his mouth and now she struggles to hear him, but instead of “oh fuck, this is an unfortunate confluence of disabilities it’s “I can’t understand him! Fierce, can you understand him! It’s just SO UPSETTING THAT I CANT UNDERSTAND MY OWN HUSBAND clearly the guy doing the implants is a HORRIBLE RIP OFF. I tried to convince him NOT TO SEE THAT GUY but NO.”

Or worse, “WHY doesn’t he pronounce words CLEARLY,” knowing he had speech therapy. Which is just mean, and would be even if people with normal hearing struggled to understand him too. But we don’t. Or at least I don’t.

All this when he’s in the middle of a surgery procedure with stages so switching dentists is a bad idea unless he’s doing it wrong or something.

Like it’s unfair she’s hearing impaired, just like it’s unfair I have impaired mobility. But no one failed to put a curb cut in a useful place AT me. I Can be annoyed at whoever designed or built it, but I shouldn’t lament my plight in ways that make other people feel bad but can’t be solved. All I can do is decide if I want to walk around to find a cut or if I don’t.

On some level my attitude is my responsibility. I have to decide to deal, or to make a change.

Which is likely why The Forbidden YouTubes say not to try to convince your family member or partner to change. Because if they’re fundamentally convinced things are bad AT them, that’s a distortion that no one can undistort but them. By choice.

Which is a thing I did by choice when I decided to work on my own mental health. I tried very hard to ask myself what I could expect from other people and what I’d need to provide to them for our relationships to be positive, and thought really hard about how to get what I needed if I was asking too much.

It was kind of painful to withdraw when I still felt hurt, and it took a lot of getting used to. Now, though? “Hey Fierce, I feel for you but I’m overwhelmed myself/I need to go for dinner with friends/blah” “Oh okay, I’m gonna talk to another friend/play video games/exercise until im too exhausted to feel like shit. Thanks for listening.” And I still feel kinda bad but that’s not a betrayal. Friend left because Friend has own life. Which is just as scary and confusing as mine is.

When I see Tumblr saying that people just GET to not show empathy, or just GET to offer non reciprocal relationships, it really sounds to me like what’s being said is “you don’t have to bother trying not to hurt others, you poor baby.”

And I just… no. You get to think about whether someone’s demands are too much, sure. You get to decide the answer is yes.

But that may actually mean “the compassionate thing to do is cut this person off, because I’m unable to be the kind of partner or friend they need unless I become better at reciprocal relationships, which is hard for me.”

[doomxdriven]

@soulxfragments (continuing from x):

Cold. Depriving herself of anything but those pure, raw instincts as she grew rigid where she stood. She was waiting. He had used up whatever patience she was willing to give. Trap her, and be faced with something that detaches from humanity. A predator kept in check beneath a human facade. It was what she had become. What she had embraced. Live and die in the depths of madness if she must. Maximize survival potential. Nothing else mattered in moments like these.

She was vicious. Relentlessly cruel. Ready to strip him down - flesh, and bone, to the very core of his existence and dispatch the remnants in the most vile of manners. Nevermind that she was a guest here. He had intruded upon her purpose within the Seireitei. She would not be enslaved again.

As walls crumbled, she remained stilled. Calculating the next course this man may take in an effort to achieve whatever his agenda had been in finding her. His words are met with silence. Even at the clap of hands, her mind processing everything she’s gaining from her origami crane to try and understand the fullness of where this situation was heading.

He wanted to talk? Bright blinding light - she’s unaffected where blind eyes fail to experience it - and suddenly… she’s smelling the air. Tasting the wind. Feeling the sensation of cloth dance against her body as the breeze tosses it about. And he? Sharp ears listen to the sounds that naturally follow the presence of a body. Clothing. Breathing. The scent of his aroma on the air should she manage to catch it. She’s seething beneath that stoic exterior. But she is still far too new to being a Shinigami, to act. Too new with Muramasa to be able to work with him cleanly. It was better to subdue these tendencies, and allow him his opportunity to speak.  Even if her immediate response was raw violence.

At least now - she was no longer in a cage. She was stood atop a cliff overlooking the Seireitei. Her head turned just-so to collect all the information she can outside of what her little origami crane could provide. Fill in the gaps. Paint a picture within her mind so she could better act accordingly should things take even more of a turn.

“Whatever knowledge you believe you have of me, clearly has proven to be insubstantial.” Empty. Deprived of whatever emotion she may be feeling in that moment. All of it buried away. The inferno tucked carefully deep down. Waiting. Biding her time for an opportunity to strike. “I will not waste unnecessary time on someone so sub-par.”

Bansui stands there calm and languid as ever, despite the cold, vicious force that was Jezebel only a handful of feet away. Bansui knew of course that Jezebel wasn't all bark (he had watched her long enough to know that well), in fact, based on her body language and tone, he was almost certain that she was only a few nerves away from lunging at him right now, but he also knew that if he had to, he could handle anything she threw his way.

Bansui was still hoping the two of them wouldn't come to blows, however. That would be, as Bansui had stated before, unfortunate, not only because it could lead to other problems, but it would force him to put in way more effort here tonight than he wanted to…

"Insubstantial…. unnecessary… sub-par, what egregious words, my good Substitute Shinigami. How… far, from the… truth, thou be on… all accounts."

Bansui, in a slow, listless motion, cants his head to one side and holds up his free hand, pointing at Jezebel briefly.

"I am, certainly no… Urahara Kisuke, by any means," Bansui slowly points to himself, a deep, guttural, yet knowing chuckle emanating from behind his mask after mentioning that name, "but, I know… more than enough about thee, more than… enough."

Jezebel's Origami would likely bear witness to a sudden flash of, strange light a yard or so behind Bansui, and while it may have been too quiet for Jezebel to hear herself, her Origiami might have also picked up on what sounded like Bansui quickly speaking under their breath.

Mere seconds later, three figures would appear from the light, and once it died down, the three would begin approaching Bansui, or rather, two of them approached, with the third between them being forcibly dragged.

Two of the sudden arrivals were dressed in garb similar to Bansui's, but the third, the one being dragged, possessed attire that seemed more… Western,along with the sack covering their face and the ropes that bound them.

"I would not… engage events, such as those.. seen tonight," Bansui continued, now gesturing at Jezebel with his staff, his other hand orientated toward the sky, "were I, and our God, Our King, not… certain."

The footsteps approaching from behind Bansui get louder as he goes on speaking, until soon enough they cease. The two figures clad in Kido Corps attire then throw the third person onto the ground, right beside Bansui.

"I… however, expected thou may… require, more convincing, and perchance, a peace offering."

Bansui points his staff toward the ground, toward the mysterious, bound figure, "That is why I… decided, to bring this, wretched Soul; they are a very… naughty, visitor, from our.. estranged, Western Branch, and I… do believe, thou shall find them… interesting."

[theinyshlobster]

the picture of dorian gray [review]

read from july 18th, 2024 - july 27th, 2024.

review:

i find my feelings very hard to put into words. i cant describe how this book made me feel. it is topsy-turvy, it changes its pace midway through, and is constantly adapting itself. i do think the online "hype" about this book makes this book overrated - but it still is a good book! i do feel as though this is one of those books when just reading it in isolation renders it a 3-star read, but with the introduction & biography following wilde, as well as context for the time in which it was written, the story opens itself up.  i found the plot to lowkey be all over the place? i mean up until sibyl is murdered i was enjoying this, and understood the hype. but following that plot point, this book does a complete 180, and i didn't know what to expect. the entire tone shifts almost instantaneously that night in the theatre, and i think its a neat comparison for dorian's descent into madness from the painting to begin in a theatre - art destroying art in a sense. but yet again, without deeper analysis & trying to read this book just as it is à la 'death of the author', this book would not be as good, and honestly that's why it isnt a 5-star. that and the writing gave me a headache many of times because i had no clue what i had just read because 75 words no longer used in the english language were present in a sentence that was 7 lines long. i get that's how classics are written but doesn't mean i have to like it!! anyways, what else do i have to say? honestly i fail to truly grasp this book as well, i think because a lot of wilde's obvious intentions were masqueraded in subtext, and i am not good at subtext!! at all!! i am not a very smart reader (unless im actively trying to solve a mystery novel. then i become mf sherlock holmes).  i enjoyed basil & dorian's characterisations, but henry's seemed to go over my head. i think im gonna have to read a deep analysis of his character because i seriously don't get how it is insinuated henry sends dorian down his corrupt path. yet again that could be because i missed the subtext or actually had no idea what i was reading due to the language used. sue me. i reallllyyy enjoyed the ending. the book lowkey kinda floundered in the middle, but picked up again at full steam at around chapter 12.  also no shade but chapter 11 isn't as bad as everyone makes it out to be. if im honest its probably the most important chapter of the book!!! anyways booktwt dont sue me for not liking it, sue my brain for being a dumb ass bitch. 

[the-blaze-empress]

Gona put a Spoiler alert on this one for “Take My Arms That I Might Reach You”.

Hey so I’m back (the person who asked about the time measurement in “Take My Arms”) to say I absolutely loved the rest of the fic. I really enjoyed the character development both Techno and Phil went through throughout the fic and getting to see the way they both end up together terrorizing the bigots of the desert was wonderful. Was sobbing at the part where Phil died had me fighting back tears cause I was absolutely reading this at work. Just the visual you painted in my head of Techno putting Phil’s body in the bedroll was the breaking point. I was like 90% Phil was gona come back, but still it got to me. The world building you did in the Ebony plane was incredible! I love a good info dump and Kristin’s explanation of the magic and spirits tied everything together so well. And oooooo the Quackity/Techno flashbacks. Man Techno really did a number on him! But I like that they still became tentative friends after all was said and done. You asked what my thoughts were on Chapter 18 and I’ll be honest, I’m a bit confused on that but cause there’s a chapter 18 and then one labeled eighteenth, so I’m gona roll em together. I pretty much knew early on in the fic that Techno was also had wings. It was pretty obvious (at least to me) with the fact that he had a voice talking to him since Phil had the same thing, even if he ignores it. Still, the reveal was fantastic! And the way Techno used his own curse to get on Phil’s level and try to calm him down and let him know he was okay, he wasn’t going to hate him was so sweet. Ah! I could go on and on about all the little details I loved about the fic, but those are the major things I loved about it. Sorry it took so long to get back to this, life went and lived and my brain has been a bit fried lately so it been hard to put thoughts into words. But you’re a wonderful writer and I will definitely be coming back to reread this fic again in the future, as well as keeping an eye on your other fics (see you have a new one out, haven’t gotten to it yet again because life). Thank you so much for sharing your work!

AAAA THANK YOU!!

im soooo glad u loved the fic!! character development my beloved, that was one of my big things i wanted to achieve with this fic, having a distinct but still believable development of the characters, and to show how that development happened even when it wasnt going quite so great. patpat i am hugging u but also hell yeah i rlly wanted that moment to have a big emotional impact esp since it was planned from like. the very start lol.

im glad u didnt think my infodumping was too out of place! truth be told the worldbuilding developed a LOT as i was writing the fic, and some things never got the chance to get properly established rip.

backstory hell yeah! i wanted to show what techno was like when he was young and more in phils shoes and i also wanted to elaborate on quackitys cardistry, AND i wanted to show that the superstitions around the carrion cursed arent entirely unfounded. managed to roll that all into one chapter lolll.

oof yeah prolly shouldve clarified. by chapter 18 i mean the chapter titled eighteenth, the ao3 automatic chapter numbers are wrong bc the first 'chapter' is a prologue lol. and niceee ur one of few who actually made that connection, youd be surprised at how many people genuinely failed to see that chat was no different to kristin it was so funny.

PLEASE DO GO ON ABOUT THE LITTLE DETAILS!!! OH I WOULD LOVE YOU SO MUCH IF YOU DID!! (not to say i dont love u anyways that is) little details are my favourite things literally ever i know i wrote the fic but pleasee go on about the little things you noticed!!

thank you soso much for this, genuinely <333 you dont need to apologise for taking ages to read shit, god knows life can Be Like That. cant wait to hear what u think of my future and maybe even past stuff!!

[nauticasdatalog]

Therapy with the Bots:

Because i cant afford it and my shifting attemps are only giving me a good sleep schedule...here you go.

“You know, I feel like I’ve never known what it’s like to be loved.” She whispered but his audials heard it loud and clear, making Ratchet turn his helm too quickly for his attempt of being nonchalant.

But the teen standing on the platform beside him, overlooking Emma and Jazz currently teasing each other about where they were going for their date tonight, only laid her head down against her palm with a look so lost on her face that Ratchet had become accustomed to too easily.

“People say you should give what you want to receive. But I’ve seen people give their whole world to someone or something only for it to let them down. I thought having my dream come true of finally being able to meet your team would make me feel at home but I still feel the same. I still feel left out, I still feel…unneeded.” She sighed before tucking a wisp of her bangs behind her ear after it had brushed under her damp eyelashes and gotten caught.

“Kid-”

“I feel like I give all that I can. That I project my feelings as simply as possible but what do I get in return?” She asked before laughing to herself, “I get called a mother. I get, not friend-zoned! But ‘Mothered’ and in some cases that's not bad but when I can’t shake it off that someone I like will only ever see me that way…it hurts. I just want to be normal. Why is how I care for people not normal?” she questioned and Ratchet's frown only grew as he watched her left hand come up to scratch at the bracelet on her other wrist.

“And now we live in a world where people just assume I don’t want to date, or I haven’t figured out who I want to date but they don’t know that I know who I am. I know what I want I just-” she stopped because of the tears beginning to clog up her throat and closed her mouth to try and get rid of it without being too loud about it.

“I just don’t know how to get what I want.” she managed to finish and when she tucked the same piece of hair further back against her scalp, Ratchet took a deep vent before leaning slightly closer to lean against the stairwell structure.

“Before I met Drift, I felt confident in myself. In being alone, in being the only one who understood the things I did, in being an easy name on a schedule but not someone major but just ‘another medic’.” He began to explain and it gained enough of her attention that she softly looked up even with tears welling in her eyes to make contact with him as he spoke to her.

“But then he sauntered into my life and suddenly, I began to become frustrated with myself over things I couldn’t control. I started to want him to see things in me that I hadn’t told him about so that I didn’t have to explain them because I couldn’t. I wanted him to know how I felt about him without the words spoken because I didn’t know how to speak them. Instead, I came off as pushy, ignorant, and probably downright mean when I’d snap at him after a long shift that he had just randomly popped in for during his breaks to chat with me.” He explained and when he saw her small look of concern he smiled down at her and was instantly rewarded with an eyebrow raise in return.

“I’m never going to forget the first time I snapped at him and how he just stood there. Still as a statue until I started to cry. I had hated in that moment how vulnerable I felt. How simple it was for his presence to knock down all of my training and make me cry like a sparkling because I was upset and frustrated. That day I hadn’t felt good enough for my position, for who I wanted to become, and for who I wanted to be for him. Nobody knew the stresses of my job, no one could understand how much pressure I put on myself not to fail because not only was my designation at stake but so were bots' lives. But after he got over his shock, he placed down the cubes in his servos and hugged me. I hadn’t ever shown him any physical affection because I didn’t honestly know how or when to appropriately. I was always so terrified of other bot’s fields because I knew from experience I didn’t like bot’s in mine. But he hugged me, out of the blue and I felt a part of me snap and I was sobbing into his chassis like I had just lost a life.” He expressed with a shake of his helm before turning to gently watch her as she kept her gaze low and towards the red marks now covered by her bracelet.

“I didn’t know how to love but he told me neither did he. When we first bonded and he showed me what it was like to see me break down like that from his point of view, I could feel his spark stuttering in his chassis and the want and the need he had to make me feel better. Because in his glyphs, I -’work so hard to fix others without ever taking a moment to pause and check in on myself’. I let things overwhelm me, I bit my glossa if something bothered me because my opinion wasn’t wanted unless I was giving a possible diagnosis.” When Ratchet stopped again he held out his servo but she hesitated before climbing through the railing and slowly lowering down to sit herself up against his digits.

He slowly laid his thumb down across her lap and he heard her sniffle before rubbing at the underside of her nose for a second before he continued.

“I know what it feels like. To overanalyze everyone else's view of you so that you know what they expect from you. It’s why to me it always felt so easy to walk into my faction because bots expected me to be one thing, a medic. A bot who told you what happened, why it happened, and how to fix it. Not my opinion, not my emotions, not who I had hidden way too deep inside that I thought no one could ever find me.”

“But then Drift had. Without me even knowing it and I still didn’t let it sink in until the darkcycle we bonded.” He said such with a smile big enough that she smiled back while leaning her head against the curve of his digit as the last of her tears dried up on her skin.

“You may feel unseen or buried but have faith that they trust you. That they want to get to know you more the same way you crave to know more about them. You aren’t alone sweetspark. This feeling will pass.” He reassured her with a gentle rub of his thumb against her body and even though the action should have felt wrong, it was the closest form of a hug she felt like she was going to get due to their size difference.

“Thank you Ratchet,”

“You are always welcome youngling.”

[hanhan-22]

230309

What is the worst that could happen, hearing no well I am prepared for no; yes the little to no hope that I had would e shattered but still I am prepared for it, I had made my decision means I have no intention to go back, actually I hate the word going back because it weights down its emphasis on a moral that it is to everyone’s benefit if you go back to where you belong; but I don't fit in, I don't enjoy it, I was just simply born into it, does it mean I deserve and belongs to trauma suffering and torment just because of that, it would have been weird if that was the case, wasn't it? 

I remember I was dumb enough to think that all the suffocation that came to ppl  was because of their stupidity as if they are not trying enough, as if our world is based on merit, dumb or privileged I don’t know what is the right word to describe this mindset that assume if you do not try hard enough or smart enough that's when you fail, when you suffer all you go through is the merit of you or the generation before. 

It took me the hard way to learn it is not true it took me to walk in their shoes to realize once you are a second-degree citizen everything is harder, that you would be so focused and busy surviving every day, you cant afford the luxury of aiming higher, I was never been spoiled enough to think things are easy to earn but I also never realized that the comfort of thinking I can do things if I put my minds into is indeed a privilege I have been born into. 

Now I am a second-degree citizen in a country that is not mine with a salary that is below the average, getting acknowledged that my daily life is in favor of others understanding my broken attempt to speak their language; with dozens of mental health issues I struggle in me and all the hazards they cause me in the performance of my work, the only matter that makes me valuable and worth living. And I am not gonna lie, I want this to continue forever why cause it is still better to be the prisoner of what I had been through before, how I was getting treated only because they have been through shit because, I have been born a female and powerless.

I am not saying I am good cause I am not, I am a monster I am a monster that reflects their insecurities on the ppl they feel they have power over, I am a monster that put my stress on the only person that have ever loved me in my entire life, you know why because they remind me of the fact that how much all of us are trapped.

 When you are young you won't end the suffering because of hope and fear of disappointment, you do not want to ruin and disappoint whom they loved you and when you get older you don't do it cause now you will be disappointed if they do it, cause now you are responsible for their lives and they can't survive without you; and all I can think about is that's how unhappy and hideous they must have felt when they raised me. 

Cause I do feel it, I am hideous for wanting a shoulder to cry on when I hit the send button on a message that says “thank you, hope I can repay your kindness” to the only person who declared their love for me while I know how much half-heartedly it was, how much their words truly screams “I am lonely save me”; but that's desperate of me wanting them to ask to see my face to be there for me cause I am weak and I want to be protected just once , just this time.

What could that answer do to me? save me? if they say yes will I be saved or I just continue living? Will I stop feeling relentless, broken, disappointed, and hideous? Will I ever stop crying? Is it better if they say no and everything ends in a year? I will write this email today and ask for their time I will prepare a scenario to convince them of a positive answer but deep down who I want to be will remain shallow, DO I really mean it?

[xoxo-teddybear]

What Have I Done? - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: Angst, Physical injuries, cursing

Summary: An argument gone out of hand. Y/N just wanted Katsuki to be home more. They’re married and yet she barely sees him throughout the week. When she finally speaks on her hurt feelings, she gets a reaction she definitely wasn’t expecting.

Chapter 1 -> Chapter 2

A/N:.....I cried while writing this.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

‘He’s gone already. Again. Like always.’

Y/N had awoken to another empty bed. Her husband’s side of the mattress remained cold and empty. This wasn’t anything new. It’s been like this for the past few months. She would wake up alone, eat breakfast alone, spend her day alone, eat dinner alone, and go back to sleep at the end of the day...alone.

It’s not that Katsuki is intentionally ignoring Y/N. He loves her with his everything, he truly does! But villains never rest and neither does he. He’s so preoccupied with hero work that when he does get a day off, his friends drag him away to a bar or game night. Y/N always ran through his head but she had always been so understanding. And besides, she knows how busy the life of a pro is. She used to be one so she gets it. Right?

Wrong. She doesn’t get it. Because even when she was a pro, her and Katsuki always found time for each other. And ever since said man made her quit, claiming he could take care of both of them easily and he would feel better knowing his beloved is safe at home, they’ve seen each other less and less. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Y/N was willing to quit her dream because she found a new dream in Katsuki. She always imagined that being his little housewife would give them more time together but the opposite of that came true. Now she sits in the big empty house with no company for hours on end.

Her sadness builds up every day. She misses her husband. She tries to be an understanding wife but at this point, it’s like he’s not even trying to make an effort to see her. It’s like he’s settled to just coming home to her sleeping form and waking up to her in the exact same state, leaving before he can witness her do anything else. He should understand her though, no? I mean, she had brought it up to him in a very casual way and so he never took it seriously, but she’s mentioned it before. He should have a pretty vivid image of how shes been feeling. Right?

After 6 months of loneliness and being ‘Katsuki-deprived,’ Y/N made her move to speak to her husband about her feelings. She already imagined the outcome. An argument due to Katsuki’s brash behavior and her ‘never back down’ attitude, sad times bringing in the silent treatment for the two of you up until the both of you give in and forgive each other due to the love you have. Finally ending in a compromise. Y/N released a heavy breath as she looked at the time.

1:36 a.m. Just a few more minutes until Katsuki’s home.

—

He was pissed. 3 large scale bank robberies, 10 villain-wannabe fights, an argument with his publicist about his ‘out of line attitude,’ and Deku replacing him on a random ass billboard. The last detail wouldn’t have mattered if it was anybody else but the fact that it was Deku had him riled up. He just wanted to go home to a quiet house with his beautiful wife and admire her gorgeous, slumbering state. However that was not what he was greeted with.

Katsuki grumbled as he unlocked the front door and walked in. He noticed the lights were still on and saw Y/N still awake, seated on the couch. On any other day, he’d be elated to see his wife was still up. They’d talk and cuddle and go to sleep together. If he was lucky, they’d both make love until the sun rose. But tonight, that wouldn’t be happening. He wanted a quiet house with his sleeping wife. Not..whatever was about to happen. He sighed as he dropped his bag at the front door and sloppily placed his keys in the glass bowl near the door.

“What’re you doing up dumbass?” He asked as he walked to the kitchen, not even bothering to take off his shoes. He needed a drink.

“I was waiting for you, Katsuki. I just wanted to talk to you about something,” you said in a soft voice, hoping it would suppress his for sure incoming anger. Katsuki closed the fridge with a kick to the heavy door and chugged down a quarter of his drink.

“I’m not in the mood. Had a shitty day and I wanna sleep. Just go to bed.” He said sternly while trying to finish his beer as fast as he could.

“Don’t you think I would’ve done that hours ago? I wouldn’t have stayed up and waited for you if this wasn’t important. Please Katsuki, I really wanna talk.” Bakugou was beginning to grow annoyed. Why wouldn’t you just drop it already? He squeezed his bottle hard enough for it too crack before he spoke with a louder voice.

“Y/N! You’re not listening! I’m tired. I had a horrible day and I just want to sleep. I don’t want to talk, I don’t want to stay up anymore, and I don’t want to listen to whatever bullshit you’re about to complain and bitch about like you always do!” He screamed. His words made your jaw drop.

“Not listening?! That’s all I do! All I do is listen to your every command so that you come home happy-“

“Well it looks like you failed today!” He said, cutting you off.

“Quit interrupting! And what was it that you said?! All I do is bitch and complain?! I’m trying to talk to you about something serious here Katsuki!” You pleaded, still hoping he would give in and listen. And he did...just not in the way you’d expect.

“Fine then! If this’ll get you to quit being an annoying ass waste of time, then speak! Talk! What the hell do you want?!” He asked, screaming at you, furious at all the dramatics you’ve brought up in one night.

His words kind of stung. ‘Annoying ass? Waste of time? Is this what he thinks I am?’ You grew silent at his insults and Katsuki seethed even more.

“Oh what? I scream at you and you bitch up? Toughen up Y/N, jeez. Quit acting like a baby! Tell me what you wanted to say!” He yelled.

“.......I just....I just wanted you to spend some time with me. .....Be home more.” You said in a quiet and broken voice. You looked down to the now very interesting floor as you played with your hands.

“Seriously? This shit again? I’m a pro-hero, Y/N! I’m busy! I’m not gonna drop saving lives just because your brat ass wants someone to notice you! Since when were you such an attention whore?” He asked while rolling his neck to relieve his strained muscles. Your eyes widen at the ground due to his words and your head snapped back up to face him.

“A-attention whore? I-...I just want my husband to stop working so much. I don’t know..maybe have a day off or two!” She said with a crinkled nose as you screamed.

“I do have days off, Moron. It’s why I’m not overworked, ever thought about that?!” He screamed back.

“And you spend those days off away from me! I’m not trying to act like the world revolves around me but I would hope my own husband would spend a day with me instead of his friends that he ALWAYS sees because you ALL WORK TOGETHER!” You argued. You made a valid point and even Katsuki knew that, but he was too stubborn to admit defeat. He was still tired but he had enough energy to put you back in your place. His eyes popped as a vein grew on his neck.

“Well- WELL YOU’RE ONCE AGAIN JUST BITCHING AND COMPLAINING LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO! I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU’RE SO UPSET!” He screamed.

“Don’t understand?! You know what? I know you don’t because you never listen to-“

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, I WASNT DONE TALKING! ALL YOU DO IS SIT AROUND THE HOUSE, LAZING AROUND, DOING NOTHING BUT TRY TO ARGUE WITH-“

“LAZING AROUND?!” You shouted in disbelief. “WHO MAKES YOUR MEAL PREP THE NIGHT BEFORE SO YOU CAN ENJOY IT AT WORK AND IN THE MORNING? WHO CLEANS THE ENTIRE HOUSE EVERYDAY WHILE YOU’RE GONE? WHO MAKES SURE YOU HAVE A FULL FRIDGE, CLEAN HOUSE, GOOD FOOD, AND A HAPPY LIFE? ME KATSUKI! ME!”

“Happy life? DO I LOOK HAPPY TO YOU BITCH?! NEWSFLASH, IM NOT! SO CONGRATS Y/N! YOU FAILED ONCE AGAIN! AND WHO GIVES A FUCK IF YOU PLAY MAID WHILE IM AWAY?! IM BUSY SAVING THE FUCKING WORLD! THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS BE A GOOD WIFE SINCE YOU CANT EVEN BE A FUCKING PRO ANYMORE!” He insulted again.

“because of FUCKING YOU!” You argued once more.

“I DID IT FOR YOU!” He said while throwing his bottle to the wall, causing it to shatter. “I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOUR UNGRATEFUL BITCH ASS! I PAY THE BILLS! I BRING HOME THE CASH! I GIVE YOU THE MONEY TO BUY ALL THE FUCKING FOOD, CLOTHES, AND ANY OTHER STUPID SHIT YOU WANT! AND ON TOP OF THAT, I STUFF YOUR STUPID CUNT TO PLEASURE YOUR UNGRATEFUL ASS. AT THIS POINT, YOU’RE JUST A WALKING HOLE FOR ME TO USE!”

His words hurt. They broke your heart. Did he really feel this way? If so, why was he even with you anymore. You notice a smirk grow on his face at your bewildered state. He looked as if he just won something. However, the smirk dropped into a scowl once he saw your eyes begin to pool with tears.

“Oh great! Cry! Go ahead! Just shed your fucking tears like you always do! I’m going to bed! Come join me when you’re done being an annoying bitch.” He said and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he began to walk away. You didn’t want the conversation to go this way and there was no conclusion. You needed this to be resolved now. You just wanted your husband back. You reached out to stop him from walking but the unforeseen happened.

“Katsuki..don’t walk away from thi-“

“DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME!” He said and smacked your arms away with a burning palm. Without realizing, Katsuki began to spark his quirk and so when he went in to push you away, he burned your forearm.

A loud blast and smoke filled the room and your screams of pain invaded his ears. The sound made a shocked face grow on him as he quickly turned to see the damaged he had caused. His heart sank as he saw you crying while holding your burnt arm with your other hand. You were slightly hunched over in pain as you took notice of the damage that had been caused. That he caused.

“Y/N!” Bakugou softly shouted as he ran to you. He wanted to help but before he could even lay a finger on you, you flinched. The action caused him to hesitate and hold himself back. He ran to the kitchen sink to get a cold rag and he brought it back to you. “Baby! I am so sor-“

You pushed him away and off of you as you quickly walked to your bedroom with a shadow casted over your eyes. Tears still flowed down your cheeks as sniffles could be heard from your cherry red nose. Katsuki couldn’t believe what he just did and ran to follow you.

“Y/N! Please listen! I didn’t mean it! I don’t know how that happened Teddy Bear but I swear I didn’t mean it! I swear I didn’t mean any of the bullshit I said! I’m sor-“

*SLAM* *click!*

Katsuki realized he followed you out the kitchen, through the living room, up the stairs, and to the entrance of the master bedroom you both shared before you slammed the door and locked it right in his face.

“Baby! Please open the door!” He said while knocking in a very rushed manner. He wanted nothing more than to help you and treat the damage he caused to his beloved wife. He had royally fucked up. He began turning and jiggling the locked knob in an attempt to get it open but failed. “Please Y/N! I have to take care of you and that burn. I’m so sorry but please let me in!”

On the other side of the door, you pressed your back against it as you held in your sobs and slid to the bottom. You pulled both lips in to conceal your voice while you held your wrist to examine the burn on your arm. It was so bad. Your skin turned an angry shade of red as it blistered and bled. You were dripping blood all over your carpeted floor and so you ran to the master bathroom in the bed room.

You turned on the sink and placed your forearm under the cold, running water. The water soothed it a bit but it wasn’t enough to cover the pain. You turned off the sink and grabbed a hand rag as you patted down on your wound. You took out the first aid kit and cared for yourself. You had to take the alcohol to clean it and sucked in a breath before you poured the solution over the burn. You screamed as it seemed to have hurt 10x more. After dabbing cotton over it, you wrapped it in bandages and took a breath of relief.

‘What just happened?’ You thought to yourself.

The entire time, Katsuki was still begging for you to open up. He heard your scream and grew frantic. He banged on the door and cried for you, still hoping, praying, that you would let him in. When nothing happened, he resorted back to calling out for you but to no avail.

About an hour went by and it was almost 4 in the morning. You sat on the bed with your arms holding your knees to your chest. You stared at the wrap as the memories of what went down tonight flashed through your brain.

‘Waste of time...brat ass...attention whore...ungrateful...annoying bitch.’

His words struck you right in your heart. Cruel thoughts began to fill your head.

‘He doesn’t love me. He hates me. I’m worthless.’ Your thoughts would’ve continued until a quiet knock snapped you out of you mind.

“....Y/N?...Baby?” It was Katsuki of course, but a softer version of him. A broken one. “..I don’t know if you’re listening or if you’re awake..but I need you to know that I’m so so sorry.” It was easy to hear his muffled and staggered voice that exposed his tears and sobs. “If I could turn back time right now, I would do tonight all over again, I swear. I would’ve came home and listened to you. And we could’ve talked things out. We would’ve came out of this problem being a stronger couple than we were before...because that’s what we always do. We always make it out of the dark together..because we’re a team..and I need you. .....Please...please don’t leave me Y/N. I love you so much. ‘M so sorry that I hurt you..that I burned you..that I’m such a terrible husband. But I promise you I’ll fix everything in the morning...................Teddy Bear?”

He didn’t know it, but you were listening. You heard every word but refrained from speaking. You knew that the second you did, you’d break down and go crawling back to him....but you didn’t want to do that. You wanted to leave. He physically burned you and you wanted to leave. You were going to sleep for a few hours, and when you would awaken, you would pack a bag and leave. And so, you began your plan and tried to get some sleep as tear streaks marked your face. It would all be over soon.

You woke up to the morning sun.

6:50 a.m.

You rose out of bed and rubbed at your puffy eyes. You quietly got ready in the bathroom and applied the slightest bit of makeup to look more presentable. You took out a pair of shoes and tossed them to the center of the room. You were in your closet and pulled out a bag. You stuffed it full of a few clothes for you to wear, you couldn’t stay here. Not after what he did. You fought through the pain as you pulled on your jacket and placed your shoes on. You wiped your tears as you picked up your purse and got ready to leave. You were going to stay in a hotel. Didnt matter where or how expensive. You just needed to get away.

Finally, you walked to the exit of the bedroom. You took a breath before you slowly turned the knob and was greeted with the sight of a sleeping Bakugou. He had slept in the hallway in front of the bedroom, still wearing the same clothes from the night before. His knees were scrunched up with his arms resting there to be used as a pillow. He layed his head atop of his arms and as you looked down into his hands, you saw the rag. The exact rag from the argument. The rag that he attempted to use to help you. Little did you know, Bakugou hadn’t planned on getting rid of it until you let him use it to help you. He wanted nothing more than to fix his mistake and cater to you and your wound.

You shook your head as you felt tears began to fill your eyes but you refused to let them fall. You took a step and sadly awoken the exact man you were trying to avoid. Bakugou had quickly woken up when he heard the slightest noise and was blessed with the beauty that is you. He looked up at you with wide eyes and a small smile.

“Y/N...” was what he whispered before he quickly got up to run to you.

“Y/N!” He ecstatically said with a hint of relief. He was about to wrap him arms around you but you kept a hand at his chest to keep him at bay. “Baby?...”

Bakugou looked at you with hurt and confused eyes when you didn’t welcome his embrace. Even when you were mad at him, you still allowed him to hold you so what gives? He looked at you and your attire. He noticed your jacket and shoes and saw you holding a bag. “W-what are you doing?”

You walked away from him but he snatched your wrist to make you turn to face him. “Y/N! What’s going on?!” He frantically asked with crazed eyes. You snatched your wrist back and ran down the stairs and he copied your actions. He followed you into the living room until he grabbed your wrist once more. You tried to pull away again but found it harder because this time, he gripped it tight.

“W-where are you going baby?”

“Dont call me that.”

“What? Why? Baby, please tell me what’s going on.” He begged as he squeezed your wrist.

“What’s going on? Are you serious? What does it look like? I’m leaving!” Bakugou’s eyes went wide once more and shook his head.

“N-no! No, why!?”

“Why?! Look at my arm!” You screamed.

“I know! I know and I’m so sorry! But..but you don’t have to go! I can fix you up, I’ll take you to recovery girl, I will bring you to the best hospitals around the world to fix that for you! Just please don’t go!” He bargained and offered everything but you weren’t budging.

“It’s not just the burn Bakugou.” You deadpanned with a nonchalant face. His heart felt heavy after hearing your voice refer to him with his family name.

“..I-it’s Katsuki! Your Katsuki! It’s Suki, baby please!” Bakugou stepped closer as he cried once more but you backed away again. His hold on your wrist still strong as his fingers played with the ring on your hand, trying to calm himself down and remind himself that you are still his wife.

You shook your head at his pleading. “Bakugou. You burned me. But not only that, you’ve neglected me for months.”

“I know that! And I’m sorry! I will spend just as much time off of work to make it up to you, I swear I will, I promise!” He once again bargained.

“It’s too late.”

“No it’s not, please, it can’t be!”

“It is Bakugou-“

“KATSUKI! ....please...please don’t call me that. I’m your Katsuki,” he said with a whimpering voice. At this point you felt the tears come through, but you still didn’t allow them to fall.

“Katsuki...I can’t stay here. Too much damage has been done.” You said with a soft voice. Bakugou continued to shake his head ‘no,’ but you already made up your mind. You used your wind quirk in your hand and blew his grip off your wrist. You took the quick opportunity to walk to the door but Bakugou grabbed your bag off your shoulder in a childish panic and attempt to get you to stay.

“Hey!-“

“Please Y-Y/N! Please don’t leave me! I- I know I’ve been a terrible husband! I’m sorry! B-But I promise I’ll do better. I’ll stay at home more, I’ll spend more time with you, Please!”

“Katsu-“

“I’ll buy you whatever you want! I’ll get you all the expensive brands, I’ll find you all the best jewelry, I’ll give you all the money in the world! I’ll give you the whole world! Please stay! I love you so much Y/N!”

“Katsuki, give me back my bag,” you tried to reach for it but Bakugou kept it away from you and pulled you in with one arm and held you in a tight embrace as he cried on your shoulder.

“Please...you can’t do this to me. I need you. I love you! I’ll do better! I’ll be a better husband, I swear..just please don’t go.” He softly spoke with a broken voice and soft hiccups. It was wrong for you to do this, but you sighed and pretended to forgive him as you wrapped your arms around his torso. You hugged him tight and he fell for it as he openly sobbed now. His other arm that held your bag came to wrap around your waist but before it could, you snatched the bag out of his hold and pushed him away. You ran to the door and held a tight grip on the knob as you picked up your car keys. You saw Katsuki attempt to run back to you but you created a strong barrier of wind to protect you. “IM SORRY Y/N! PLEASE DONT!”

You took off your ring and tossed it to him through the barrier. He was quick to catch it and hold it right in fear of losing it. He had to find a way to get it back on your finger. “No..baby...Teddy Bear please!”

“....I’ll send you the divorce papers....Goodbye Katsuki.”

With that, you walked out of the door, still keeping the barrier alive. Once you started the car, you dispersed of the wind and Bakugou opened the door and ran to your car.

“Y/N wait! Please!” He cried out but he was too late. You pulled out of the driveway and drove off quickly down the street. He watched your car go as he began hyperventilating and tugging at his ash blonde locks. He ran back inside the house with your ring in hand as he looked for his phone. He found it on the kitchen island and quickly dialed your number. Of course, it went straight to voicemail but that didn’t stop him from calling about 50x more.

“This-...this has to be some stupid dream. A fucking nightmare...” he said as he tried to hide in denial. “Yeah...a nightmare. This is what it is...I’ll..I’ll wake up soon and she’ll be by my side in the morning...sleeping peacefully...and I’ll take the whole week off and spend it with her. She won’t be mad, we’ll be happy like we always are. S-She won’t leave me.”

Bakugou had an insane smile on his face with eyes of distraught on him. He clumsily made his way back to his bedroom where he flopped onto the large mattress and tried to get some sleep. He would sleep the whole day away if it meant you’d still be by his side when he woke up. The ring you abandoned was held tight in the palm of his hand as he held it close to his chest. His sobs overcame him but did aid in his journey to slumber. Eventually, he knocked out and a smile of bliss adorned his face as he assumed you would still be there in the morning.....oh how wrong he was.

The very next day, he woke up at 5:30 like he always did and quickly looked to your side of the bed. It was cold and empty. He was lonely. The exact same feeling you got everytime you woke up without seeing him for the past 6 months.

6 months. You’ve been married for 4 years and together for 8. Out of those 8 years, Bakugou spent 6 months neglecting you..and now...he lost you.

He stared at the empty space and bawled his eyes out like a baby as he screamed. He got out of bed and walked to the kitchen. Maybe you were cooking breakfast! You weren’t. Kitchen was empty. He ran to the living room! Maybe you were just watching some TV and reading a book, looking all cute and domesticated like you usually did. No, you weren’t there either. Bakugou checked every room in the house and when he couldn’t find you..he snapped.

His heart beated at a rapid pace as he trashed the entire house. Breaking windows, flipping desks, smashing furniture. He used his quirk to create blasts and burn marks into the walls and floors of the house. He did everything to get his frustrations out. The entire time he shouted and cried as rivers of tears flowed down his cheeks.

When he was done, he sat in the middle of the destroyed living room, laying his back against the flipped couch. He sat with his knees scrunched up as he hunched over, staring at the ground. His nose and eyes and basically his entire face grew puffy and red. His hair was a mess and so was he. Silent tears continued to drop, but his throat was too dry and hurt far too much for him to make anymore noise. However, he did fight through the pain to say one final thing:

“What have I done?”

A/N: hi cubsss! So a lot of you may know that my very first post, writing piece, and short story (He’s Lost) was created around angst, a breakup, and the fact that the triggering point was Bakugou physically hurting Y/N. I’ve been thinking about it and I HATE MY WRITING IN THE FIRST POST! It was terrible! Why tf did y’all like it so much?😭 And so, I’ve created a new piece revolving around the same elements, sorta as a way to check my progress. I hope you enjoyed!

ALSO!!! If you guys like this enough, I’m willing to turn it into a small yandere short story if you Cubs are down for that. Let me know and I’ll make it happen! Love you Cubs! See you next time🧸💗

[dsmutp]

Learning Curve (C!Charlie Slimecicle x Reader)

Teaching Charlie was a delight.

When Quackity had put you up to the job, you hadn’t been too sure about it. Teaching someone how to be human (whatever that entailed) seemed like more than you had signed up for when you had become a resident of Las Nevadas - just imagining long hours of helping someone learn the intricacies of human life made your head ache. But Quackity had insisted, and you really had nothing better to do.

Three months into the job though, and you were quite attached to Charlie.

He was a wonderful student - eager to learn and bright enough that it never took him too long to grasp new concepts (though, as with any student, some things came more naturally than others) - and an even more wonderful friend. It was amazing how a sentient piece of goo (though it was really hard for you to think of him like that anymore) could be more kind and caring than half of the actual people you knew. 

You were pleased to say that Charlie had become quite fond of you as well. Though you were only supposed to spend six hours a day with him, oftentimes you wound up just spending your days together, wandering around the unfinished Las Nevadas after you had completed his schooling for the day, talking about whatever crossed your minds. Charlie was always eager to hear stories from your day to day life, and the amount of history he had seen just from being around for that many years never failed to make you gaze at him with wonder. 

It wouldn’t have been a stretch to say that he had become your best friend.

You certainly liked him enough - that goofy smile never failed to brighten your mood, even on the worst days, and though the slight fluidity of his skin had been off putting at first, through the amount of daps you shared, you had gotten used to it - come to enjoy it even, something that was uniquely Charlie.

For all his wonderful attributes though, there were still some times that you got a little exasperated with him. 

“Nope.” You sighed, watching as his arm bent the wrong way again. “You can’t just bend the joint that way, Charlie, that’s not how bones work.”

“But you said to hit the lever behind me..?” Charlie asked, righting his arm again. 

“Right, but with humans, remember, the joints don’t bend all the way around because of the bones.” You reminded him. “Just because your body can bend that way, doesn’t mean mine can.”

Charlie nodded slowly, but the confused look was still hovering in his eyes. 

“Do you want to go over joints and movement again?” You asked. 

Charlie smiled sheepishly. “Yes please.”

You stepped forward, extending your arms. You had done this exercise a few times before, just to help Charlie learn which body parts worked together and which joints moved in which directions. It was easy for him to forget though - his body didn’t really have limits to movement, being slime - and he had a bad habit of just throwing human joint movements away in exchange for what was the most easy at the time. 

Charlie placed his hands on your elbows, and you bent your arms, letting him feel how the joints moved and worked. “See? One way.”

“Right.” Charlie said, nodding now. His hands moved to your shoulders. “But these ones go all the way around?”

You rolled your shoulders, moving the ball joint in a circle. “Correct.”

His hands wandered down to your wrists. “Same as these?”

You rolled your wrists, nodding. 

From there, Charlie’s hands found your hips. “But these ones only go forward and backward.”

“For walking.” You said, nodding. ���They can go out, a little - nothing too far though.” 

Charlie nodded, his eyes wandering over your body innocently. The first few times you had done this with him, you had been a little uncomfortable - it was strange, to be treated like a scientific model, slightly slimy hands running up and down your skin, asking what each of your joints and muscles did. But over time, you had gotten used to it - Charlie was only curious to learn, after all, and you were more than willing to help.

A hand over your crotch startled you, and you broke out of your train of thought, raising an eyebrow at Charlie. He only blinked at you though, saying, “You never said what this part’s for.”

You closed your eyes, steeling yourself. You had known this day would come, eventually - sex was a large part of human life, after all. You didn’t really want to be having ‘the talk’ with a sentient piece of goo that you had come to know and love, but you supposed it had had to come at some point. 

“It’s for sex, Charlie.”

Charlie’s eyebrows shot up. “You have a stripper pole on you?”

The comment was so out of place that you couldn’t help but bark out a laugh. “What?”

“A stripper pole.” Charlie repeated. “Like the one in the casino? Quackity said it was for sex-”

“No, no.” You said, cutting him off, still laughing. “Sex organs Charles, for the actual act. They’re part of basic human anatomy - everyone’s got some.”

Charlie’s eyes narrowed as he nodded, and movement under his pants caught your eye - the fabric shifted and pulled until it filled out a little more - like his very skin was reshaping itself to include what you had just told him. 

It was then that you realized that Charlie might be the answer to every sexual fantasy you had ever had. 

---

It didn’t take much convincing to get Charlie into bed with you.

You had always known that he had had something of a puppy dog crush on you - just from the way that he hung on your every word, even when you weren’t teaching, and followed you around like a little duckling. You had stopped yourself from doing anything about it though, telling yourself that it would be wrong, that he was your student - but those sentiments had faded the more time you had spent together outside of the teaching. 

They were completely gone now, as you tossed Charlie’s pants over the side of the bed. Though you were both naked as the day you were born, he was perfectly comfortable, sprawled out on the pillows like he owned the place. 

“So, again,” He started. “You want me to put my dick inside you? But not detach it? And thats sex?”

“The basics of it.” You said. “Simple stuff, really. You tell me if you don’t like it though - I don’t know exactly how it’ll feel for you.”

Charlie nodded, arranging his arms underneath his head with a smile. “I am ready to sex.”

You laughed as you straddled his hips, gently wrapping a hand around his cock and aligning it with your hole, just pressing his tip against your entrance. “Promise you’ll tell me to stop if it feels bad, okay? Just because I wanted to try this doesn’t mean you have to suck it up for me.”

“Promise.” Charlie assured you. “I won’t pretend to like it just because you do- hhh.”

You sank down on his cock, reveling at the feeling - there was almost no stretch as he entered you, the slime of his body simply moving like a liquid, filling out your insides completely without having the painful stretch around your entrance. Every nerve ending in you lit up at the contact - the slime filled every space without pushing too far - Charlie’s cock had molded to you completely, hitting all your spots without even trying.

“Wow.” You breathed, placing the palms of your hands on Charlie’s chest. “This is- wow. How’re you feeling Charlie?”

Underneath you, Charlie was in a daze, eyes glazed over as he stared at some point past your shoulder. His mouth moved, but only a long string of syllables came out - more like a moan than any real words.

“Descriptors, love.” You prompted, shifting to place your hands on either side of his face. 

Charlie let out a breathy whimper, his hands finding purchase on your hips, squeezing the skin there. “Good.” He said. “Very very good, uh, sort of tingly? And warm? I-I don’t really know words for it…”

You smiled, caressing his hair. “Good.” You said. It was good to know that it felt pleasurable for him - you weren’t quite sure how slime anatomy worked, and if human sex was something that he would enjoy, but now that you knew it felt as good for him as it did for you, you had no intention of holding back.

You began to rock, slowly, rolling your hips over Charlie’s and letting his cock begin to rub against your walls. Charlie’s fingers dug into your hips more as his breathing canted upwards, instinct taking over as he bucked up into you a few times. You welcomed the movement, using the momentum to fuck yourself down on him harder, savoring the feeling of him running over your nerves, lighting you up from the inside. 

Charlie let out another whimper, and you leaned down to press a kiss to his lips, still keeping your hands framed gently around his face. Charlie kissed back eagerly, releasing his little whimpers and moans into your mouth now, the hands at your hips moving up to your lower back, holding on for dear life.

“You’re doing so well.” You cooed, feeling that familiar coil begin to tighten in your gut. “You’re a natural, Charlie.”

“Really?” Charlie said, a grin overtaking his features. His slimy complexion really didn’t allow for a blush, but you could see the flushed pride just in his expression.

“Really.” You gasped out as a particularly good thrust made your head spin. Your hands fell from Charlie’s face as you instead buried your face into the crook of his neck with a groan, rolling your hips down with more intensity now, chasing your orgasm. Without the painful stretch in the beginning, you were reaching it so much more quickly now - though it probably also helped that Charlie’s cock had become a perfect fill for your insides too - leaving no nerve ending spared.

“Mmmm.” Charlie tipped his head back as he moaned, lips pressing together into a thin line. “It feels different now.” He said, voice shaky. “Bigger, I think?” He tried. 

“That’s supposed to happen.” You said, speeding up your thrusts, for both your sake and Charlie’s. You were getting to the brink of orgasm now, the pleasure making it’s way all the way down your legs and to your toes. It was only a moment more before you were shaking with it, the rolling of your hips slowing as you rode out your high. 

Charlie groaned underneath you, tipping his head back into the pillows as the slime inside you rippled, the sensation making you moan at the strangeness of it. You hadn’t really known what his orgasm was going to look (or feel) like, but you hadn’t been expecting that. 

For a moment, you just laid there, head still tucked under Charlie’s jaw as you both caught your breath, just feeling him breathe.

“That was pretty fun.” Charlie said. “It felt weird, but good weird.”

You sat up, rolling off him to sprawl out on the rest of the bed, his cock sliding out as easily as it had gone in. “Glad you liked it.” You said, letting yourself stretch out into a boneless heap. “For your first time ever, you were really good, Charlie.”

Charlie beamed at the praise, and you pressed a kiss to his cheek. You were definitely going to be doing that again.

[isabella-111]

🍄

Sirius black pls

Am so sorry for all the requests

A/n: no worrys i love requests <333 sorry if there’s any misspellings also i went a little over board but i had fun

Warning: alludes to sex , friends with benefits , a bit of angst , smoking , and a few metions of fmab reader and she/her pronouns

Your song 505 by arctic monkeys

I looked at the stone ceiling smoking my cigarette as i layed naked on my best friends bed . I turn to my side and see the boy that i knew so well my best friend, sirius black. At this point i dont know if were still best friends or if were more but thats a conversation for another time. For now he was naked and asleep . I got off the bed putting on the clothes i was wearing the night before. Crushing my cigarette in the ashtray on his side table. I stared blankly at the wall putting in my clothes. since i woke up i cant stop thinking about how things used to be.

Before i was keeping secrets from my best friends , before he kissed me , before i started fucking sirius black , before it all.

Sometimes i wish i could go back to before the day he kissed me and go back to just playfully flirting with him , playing board games , and planning pranks . We still do those things but they feel different now . But Other times i wish we could go back to last night cause he was amazing , the way he treats me the way he acts with me , the way we are together . Its just amazing . The way he looks at me the way he says my name made me blush , but ive always hated the feeling of having to put on my clothes sneak out of the room and pretend nothing happened around our friends . Maybe I’ll end it with him

*a few days later *

I woke up again.......naked in my bestfriends bed . I couldn’t end it. I was planning on it but when i was gonna tell him something he flashed that smirk and suddenly i forgot all words, no thoughts except him no words but his name. We had been playing a prank when he whispered “505” which is his dorm number the number that meant “meet me at my dorm” . I really was planning on saying i wanted to go back to how it was , but at the i wanted him more.

I stared blankly at the wall as i put out my cigarette and put on clothes, clearly very used to this cycle already .it was already burned into my brain . What u didn’t account for was the open bottom drawer of Sirius’s dresser. My leg slippeed as i was putting on my pants hitting the open drawer causing a loud thump . Sirius began to stir .

“Fuck” I whispered . I rushed on my shirt and grabbed my things . Shoes in had i started to walk to the door

“ where you going” sirius said in raspy freshly morning voice

Fuck.....the morning voice one of my weekness . Very few things could break me , but without fail sirius’s voice and smirk always could .

“Going to class , didn’t mean to wake you”

Sirius looked at the clock on his side table “ at 5am “

“Its on...morning blooming flowers”

“ oh “ Sirius said as he sat up

“ yah so imma go “ i said pointing at the door

“Stay for a smoke” Sirius said holding a red back of cigarettes and smirking . The classic Sirius smirk

“ ok “ i said walking over to the bed and sitting on the side of the bed

We sat and smoked for a few minutes in comfortable silence i had learned to love. I layed my head on his shoulder and he had pecked my forehead before i knew it the cigarettes were half way done

Sirius broke the silence “ we need to stop doing this, we need to end what ever this is “

“ oh” was all i could say, Sirius was rhe one to break it off . the one who initiated it so often before o was i shock or relieved......no i was in shock.

“ im gonna go shower” he said blanky as he gor up

“ i should go” i finally spit out. I rushed out the dorm passing james and renus who were extremely confused on why i was there in the first place . I ran to my room and layed on my bed trying not to let the tears spill. I heard on a knock on my door

“ fuck its the boys” i thought to my self

I asked who it was and sure enough

“ its remus and james....love are you alright” remus said in a worrying ton

“ mhm im fine” i said in the calmest vouce i could make under these circumstances

“ i don’t believe you and coming in” james said

I love my friends but they never did understand social cues i got under the covers hoping i could fool them into thinking i just wasnt feeling well.

James sat on the edge if my bed as remus stood behind him

“Whats going on why were you running, are you alright” james said clearly worried

“Like i said earlier im fine just a little head ache.”

“ your eyes are red....we’re you crying” remus said

“ no, just a head ache imma take a bap see you guys later” i turned to my side hoping they believed it

It fooled james but didn’t pass remus

Remus rushed out of my dorm and ran to Sirius’s

“ what did you do” remus said in a stern voice

“ what do you mean” sirius said as he dried his hair

“ what did you to y/n shes in her room trying to me and James about her being sad when shes clearly crying and she ran out if your dorm so what the fuck did you do”

“ fuck” sirius said lowly almost whisphering

“ explain” said remus

Sirius explained everything how it started what just happened and everything in between

“ why would you break it off if you loved it so much” remus said

“ i ended it cause she deserves more than that. She tried ending it before i could tell in the way she looked at me but i would always tey to distract her hoping she wouldn’t leave me but i know she wants more, more then me . She deserves more “

“ you need to go talk to her explain that you live and you never wanna lose her and that you were such a dumb bloak that you had to push her away cause you were scared, dont be a idiot Sirius i see the way you look at her and i see the way she says your name you guys love each other and meeting in this room every few days just to fuck clearly isn’t the inly thibg you guys want, so make that clear to her instead if pushing her away” remus said

Sirus nodded and rushed out of room 505 before he knew it he was frantically knocking at my door

“ busy” i yelled hoping my voice didn’t sound of tears

“ please let me in i messed up”

“Sirius ?” I walked up to the door and opened it

The door opened and i saw y/n standing there her eyes red and cheeks stained with tears, fuck im a idiot. I didn’t have words to express my slef i hated seeing her cry . Even worse if it was cause if me .

Before i knew it sirius pulled me into a hug whispering “ im so sorry please dont cry love im a idiot and i only ended things cause i was scared and i dont want lose you”

“ Sirius i cant keep doing what we were doing” i said

“ i don’t expect you to darling i want to go on dates with you i want to have dinner and go in picnics what im trying to say is y/n would you go on a date with me “

“I’d like that sirius”