#how to improve self esteem

[girlwithrituals]

HOW TO STAY UNBOTHERED!

1. Never say more than necessary.

2. Don't allow your emotions to overpower your intelligence.

3. Lower your expectations from others.

4. Let your success do the talking.

5. 10 people 10 different opinions. Stop pleasing.

6. Remember your haters are your fans.

7. Don't be afraid to say "NO".

8. Know your truth and be okay with someone else not believing you.

9. Stop taking things personally.

• Let go of control: You can't control others' actions or words, just your reactions.

• Humor: Learn to laugh things off when appropriate.

• Set boundaries: Limit contact with negativity and prioritize supportive people.

• Communicate clearly: Ask for clarification Instead of assuming negativity

• Shift your perspective: Consider the source and if their comment reflects on them more than you.

• Focus on what you can control: Improve your own communication and self-care.

• Thicken your skin: Build strong self-worth and know your value.

10. Healthy detachment.

• Let people be who they want to be, then decide if you want them in your life.

• Trust that rejection is always redirection to something bigger and better.

• Some people are only meant to help you grow, not be in your life forever.

• What if everything is falling apart to come together in a way you can't guess?

• Focus only on what you can control.

[feminineenergylife]

Feminine Tip:

Treat yourself as a delicacy

Stop overworking yourself

Stop ignoring your boundaries & needs

Never accept bad behavior from others

Take care of yourself & you will flourish

You are to be handled with care

You deserve the best from yourself & others

[glowup-princess]

ʜᴏᴡ ᴄᴀɴ ɪ ᴇxᴘʟᴏʀᴇ ɴᴇᴡ ʜᴏʙʙɪᴇꜱ

1. Try Short-Term Challenges

Commit to a 30-day challenge (e.g., sketching daily, learning a new language, or writing short stories).

Apps like Duolingo (languages) or Skillshare (creative skills) can help.

2. Attend Local or Online Classes

Check out community centers, libraries, or platforms like Udemy, Coursera, or MasterClass.

Look for workshops in art, music, coding, or even mixology.

3. Join Clubs or Meetups

Meetup.com and Facebook groups have local hobbyist communities.

Whether it’s board games, hiking, or photography, connecting with like-minded people can be inspiring.

4. Explore DIY & Crafting

Try knitting, woodworking, or resin art.

Platforms like Pinterest and YouTube offer countless DIY tutorials.

5. Get Into Fitness & Adventure

Experiment with rock climbing, kayaking, or yoga.

If you prefer something low-impact, try tai chi or pilates.

6. Explore the Arts

Pick up painting, pottery, or digital art.

Join an improv or theater group if you enjoy performing.

7. Experiment with Food & Drinks

Try baking, fermenting foods, or making coffee art.

Learn mixology and craft your own cocktails.

8. Discover Tech & Gaming

Explore coding, 3D printing, or building electronics.

Get into tabletop RPGs or try game development.

9. Volunteer or Learn a New Skill

Help out at animal shelters, community gardens, or charities.

Consider learning sign language or first aid.

10. Let Randomness Decide

Use a random hobby generator (yes, they exist!).

Write down hobbies on slips of paper, draw one, and commit to trying it.

Be yourself <3

pt. 2??

likes, comments, reblogs and follows are appreciated <3

[theambitiouswoman]

SELF TALK. Replacing the NEGATIVE things we say to ourselves with POSITIVE words 🦄💜✨✨

When we say bad things about ourselves, our minds and bodies pay attention and start believing those things. It's like a cycle. When we keep telling ourselves we're not good enough or can't do things, our minds start thinking it's true. These bad thoughts can make us act in ways that match what we believe, like avoiding things because we think we'll fail. Over time, our brain gets used to these thoughts and they become a regular part of how we see ourselves.

But if we say good things to ourselves, it can be really helpful. When we're kind in how we talk to ourselves, it can make us feel better and stronger. It's like giving ourselves a little boost of confidence. When we're positive, we can handle problems better and feel less stressed. When we believe good things about ourselves, we might do better in different situations. So it's important to notice how we talk to ourselves and try to say nice things, even if we don't always feel that way.

Negative: "I always mess things up." Positive: "I sometimes make mistakes, but I also learn from them."

Negative: "I'm so stupid." Positive: "I'm smart and capable; everyone makes errors."

Negative: "I can't do this; it's too hard." Positive: "I can handle challenges with effort and perseverance."

Negative: "I'll never succeed in anything." Positive: "I have the potential to achieve my goals through hard work."

Negative: "Nobody likes me." Positive: "I have people who care about me and value my company."

Negative: "I'm a failure." Positive: "I've achieved many things and will continue to grow."

Negative: "I'm not good enough." Positive: "I am enough just as I am, and I'm constantly improving."

Negative: "I'm a burden to others." Positive: "My presence and contributions make a positive impact."

Negative: "I always mess up social situations." Positive: "I can connect with others and enjoy social interactions."

Negative: "I'll never get over this." Positive: "I can heal and move forward from difficult situations."

Negative: "I'm so ugly." Positive: "I am unique and have qualities that make me attractive."

Negative: "I'll never be as good as them." Positive: "I have my own strengths and talents that are valuable."

Negative: "I'm a loser." Positive: "I have the courage to try and the ability to succeed."

Negative: "I'm always so awkward." Positive: "I am learning and growing in social interactions."

Negative: "I can't handle criticism." Positive: "I can learn from feedback and use it to improve."

Negative: "I'm too lazy to accomplish anything." Positive: "I have the energy and determination to achieve my goals."

Negative: "I'll never be happy." Positive: "I can find joy and contentment in the little things."

Negative: "I'm a failure as a parent/friend/partner." Positive: "I care and do my best to support those around me."

Negative: "I'm too old/young to do that." Positive: "Age doesn't define my ability to pursue my passions."

Negative: "I don't deserve good things." Positive: "I am worthy of happiness, success, and positive experiences."

Negative: "I'm a failure because I haven't achieved enough." Positive: "I'm on my own path of growth and accomplishments."

Negative: "I can't handle stress." Positive: "I am resilient and can manage stress with effective strategies."

Negative: "I'll never be as talented as others." Positive: "I have unique talents that make me special."

Negative: "I'm so clumsy." Positive: "I am improving my coordination and skills."

Negative: "I'm too shy to make friends." Positive: "I have qualities that others appreciate and I can connect with people."

Negative: "I'm not good at anything." Positive: "I have strengths and abilities that I can develop."

Negative: "I'm a burden on my family." Positive: "My family supports me and we help each other."

Negative: "I'll probably fail, so why bother trying?" Positive: "I have the courage to take on challenges and learn from them."

Negative: "I can't trust anyone; people always let me down." Positive: "I can build meaningful and trustworthy relationships."

Negative: "I'll never find love." Positive: "I am deserving of love and can create meaningful connections."

Negative: "I'm not creative at all." Positive: "I can express my creativity in different ways."

Negative: "I'll never be able to speak in public." Positive: "I can develop my public speaking skills with practice."

Negative: "I don't deserve success." Positive: "I am capable of achieving success through hard work."

Negative: "I'm so disorganized." Positive: "I can improve my organization skills with time."

Negative: "I'll never be happy with my body." Positive: "I can make healthy choices and appreciate my body."

[mortysmith]

while we're on the subject of "morty-prime teamup" what if there was another two crows situation

[itsnotnina]

how to save a bad day.

Today was not a good day. I had an exam in the morning that I prepared so hard for but I walked out knowing I'd pretty much failed. I walked out pretty dejected and just overall, I felt pretty lost. So I thought I'd take myself out (a lil pity solo date) to try and make myself feel better.

Go on a walk. Seeing as I was already out of the house (I was at uni) I took myself on a little walk. I walked into town and just browsed through a bunch of shops. I didn't need anything so it was nice to just window shop.

Go to a coffee shop. I went to Black Sheep Coffee - one of my favourite coffee shops in town - and ordered a decaf coffee (it was like midday so I chose decaf so that I'd actually be able to sleep). I sat on a little corner table and just people watched for a little bit, while I was waiting for my coffee.

Read a book. After getting my coffee, I pulled out my book. I'm currently reading Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief. NGL, I was slightly self-conscious - I live in predominantly a university town so there are a lot of people my age and older, and I am reading a book aimed at children - but in all honesty, I love the book too much to dwell on it for too long.

Journal. After a while of reading and sipping my coffee, I felt a bit more calm and wanted to journal. Journalling helps me when I'm stressed or anxious sometimes because it helps me work out exactly how I feel. It also helps me keep track of what happened when because I have the worst memory ever. After journalling (and starting on a bit of revision) I headed off home - the walk was nice, even if it's long. I listened to a podcast on the way home. NGL though, it was freezing cold because it was like 2 -3 degrees at the time.

Shower. I got home and took a shower to warm up. I will say though showers are great to let go of whatever's weighing on you. Literally, let it wash away from you :)

Relax/Do Something Entertaining. I watched a few more episodes of Doctor Who while waiting for my hair to dry. I also started crocheting a new project :)

Make Dinner. I made (Fake) Chicken Noodle Soup for dinner - if you want a recipe, let me know and I'll post it here or on my tiktok (@niagosavi).

Try and Get An Early Night. I think I went to bed around 10pm that night - I had been awake since like 6am so I was knackered.

Bad days are inevitable but they are not the end of the world. Remember, it's a bad day, not a bad life.

[waugh-bao]

Mick and Charlie discuss their memories of The Stones’ first show (2012)

[a-very-sparkly-nerd]

You think YOU'RE obsessed? Well, at the start of every single session, the first thing my therapist asks me about is TDP news bc it's like all I talk about

[divine-nonchalance]

Healing is our default, our foundation, our base line, it's what we're made of.

. Sejeluho

[splookiee]

was looking through my old tablet and found this picture of a drawing of smaug i drew in 2016

ngl not sure i could even do better rn LMAO(idk how to draw dragons)

[algorithmquartz]

Does anyone else think that shadow work is an overlooked and underused tool in a therapist's toolbelt?

[ansburg]

bg3 fans showing their da leanings in how allergic they are to nuance 😔

[luthientinuvielss]

Someone will pull some of the meanest shit you've ever heard of and still act like a victim when you decide you can't tolerate that kind of treatment/behavior any longer and remove yourself from the relationship.

[poppletonink]

The Best Quotes From 'How To Get Over A Boy'

"Scrap being liked! I want to be loved. I want to be honoured. I want to be heard, felt, seen and held with pure intention and an awareness of my wonder."

"So trust in yourself, trust in your journey, and know that you will always meet what is meant for you. You will always find your way back to yourself, no matter how lost you become in the doubts others have fed you."

"When it comes to beauty, in one person’s eyes you might be deemed unattractive but in another’s eyes you are the breath of the universe."

"You are smarter than anything that attempts to discourage you from wanting more in your life."

"If you really think about it, the way we view ourselves is always through the lens of something or someone else."

"A relationship that only exists when you don’t speak up is a comfortable prison."

"In a colonised world where a woman’s beauty is conditional, the simplest way to start to exist beyond societal expectations of beauty is to understand that somewhere else in the world, your unique features are being celebrated right now."

"Choosing yourself might sound selfish, but you know what else is selfish? The world expecting you to bow down to its unrealistic demands"

"I know you think he’s different, but no matter how much of a unicorn you think he is, his wonder does not in any way compare to yours. And what’s more, it never will."

[astral-from-afar]

Okay but how do people actually gain some self esteem

[slanekthe3rd]

The tags are my pookies. Also pookie you can't have CBT you have no balls

“The more psychotherapy an abusive man has participated in, the more impossible I usually find it is to work with him.

 The highly “therapized” abuser tends to be slick, condescending, and manipulative. He uses the psychological concepts

he has learned to dissect his partner’s flaws and dismiss her perceptions of abuse. He takes responsibility for nothing that he does; he moves in a world where there are only unfortunate dynamics, miscommunications, symbolic acts. He expects to be rewarded for his emotional openness, handled gingerly because of his “vulnerability,” colluded with in skirting the damage he has done, and congratulated for his insight.  Many years ago, a violent abuser in my program shared the following with us: “From working in therapy on my issues about anger toward my mother, I realized that when I punched my wife, it wasn’t really her I was hitting. It was my mother!” He sat back, ready for us to express our approval of his self-awareness. My colleague

peered through his glasses at the man, unimpressed by this revelation. “No,” he said, “you were hitting your wife.”

 I have yet to meet an abuser who has made any meaningful and lasting changes in his behavior toward female partners through therapy, regardless of how much “insight”—most of it false—that he may have gained. The fact is that if an abuser finds a particularly skilled therapist and if the therapy is especially successful, when he is finished he will be a happy, well-adjusted abuser—good news for him, perhaps, but not such good news for his partner. Psychotherapy can be very valuable for the issues it is devised to address, but partner abuse is not one of them; an abusive man needs to be in a specialized program.

Therapy focuses on the man’s feelings and gives him empathy and support, no matter how unreasonable the attitudes that are giving rise to those feelings. An abusive man’s therapist usually will not speak to the abused woman, whereas the counselor of a high-quality abuser program always does.

 Therapy typically will not address any of the central causes of abusiveness, including entitlement, coercive control, disrespect, superiority, selfishness, or victim blaming.

 It is also impossible to persuade an abusive man to change by convincing him that he would benefit from it, because he perceives the benefits of controlling his partner as vastly outweighing the losses. This is part of why so many men initially take steps to change their abusive behavior but then return to their old ways. There is another reason why appealing to his self-interest doesn’t work: The abusive man’s belief that his own needs should come ahead of his partner’s is at the core of his problem.

 Therefore when anyone, including therapists, tells an abusive man that he should change because that’s what’s best for him, they are inadvertently feeding his selfish focus on himself: You can’t simultaneously contribute to a problem and solve it.

 Women speak to me with shocked voices of betrayal as they tell me how their couples therapist, or the abuser’s individual therapist, or a therapist for one of their children, has become a vocal advocate for him and a harsh and superior critic of her. I have saved for years a letter that a psychologist wrote about one of my clients, a man who admitted to me that his wife was covered with blood and had broken bones when he was done beating her and that she could have died. The psychologist’s letter ridiculed the system for labeling this man a “batterer,” saying that he was too reasonable and insightful and should not be participating in my abuser program any further.

 The content of the letter indicated to me that the psychologist had neglected to ever ask the client to describe the brutal beating that he had been convicted of.

As a routine part of my assessment of an abusive man, I contacted his private therapist to compare impressions. The therapist turned out to have strong opinions about the case:

THERAPIST:  I think it’s a big mistake for Martin to be attending your abuser program. He has very low self-esteem; he believes anything bad that anyone says about him. If you tell him he’s abusive, that will just tear him down further. His partner slams him with the word abusive all the time, for reasons of her own. His wife’s got huge control issues, and she has obsessive-compulsive disorder. She needs treatment. I think having Martin in your program just gets her what she wants.

BANCROFT: So you have been doing couples counseling with them?

THERAPIST: No, I see him individually.

BANCROFT: How many times have you met with her?

THERAPIST: She hasn’t been in at all.

BANCROFT: You must have had quite extensive phone contact with her, then.

THERAPIST: No, I haven’t spoken to her.

BANCROFT: You haven’t spoken to her? You have assigned his wife a clinical diagnosis based only on Martin’s descriptions of her?

THERAPIST: Yes, but you need to understand, we’re talking about an unusually insightful man. Martin has told me many details, and he is perceptive and sensitive.

BANCROFT: But he admits to serious psychological abuse of his wife, although he doesn’t call it that. An abusive man is not a reliable source of information about his partner. What the abuser was getting from individual therapy, unfortunately, was an official seal of approval for his denial, and for his view that his wife was mentally ill.”

—“Why does he do that ? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling men”

by Lundy Bancroft