#how many times will i have to explain being nonbinary to people. or being gay to people. or having ocd to people.

[little-snails-log]

Absolutely, especially since a lot of Queer Theory & Disability Theory has been overshadowed or co-opted by TERFs & SWERFs.

I have had to painstakingly explain why Disability Advocates have a strong *pro* paid legal sex work stance to way too many people. Especially among the Learning & Delayed Development communities, many young people still coming to terms with their Disability Status as adults feel as though they will *never* be able to have Sex or be truly intimate with someone.

Whereupon I explain the Queer Theories of Romantic & Platonic Intimacy AND how to actually *buy* custom porn or sex work.

And it blows their minds! Because they had no clue that Sex Positive Disability Advocatcy is a *core* LEGISLATED protection for Disability Support. Sex Therapy is protected in the American Disabilities Act *because so many of the 1950's & 1960's advocates were forcibly sterilized*

This is recent history. This is genuinely one of the Foundational Advocacy Talking Points in intersectionalism! As a *concept*

And yet? The TERFs have sucked up all the air time! There are kids I know who have degrees & are full grown adults who *can't access their care* because TERFs have infantilized Disabled & Queer kids their entire young adulthood!

I really love reading Specifically Lesbian and Specifically Nonbinary and Specifically Gay men's content because it makes it easier for me to educate my friends about the history of Queer Advocacy & how that community overlaps with Black Activism and Disability Activism.

Thank you for being willing to post about it & helping maintain the oral/written history against the TERF Erosion & White Supremacist erasure, it's super important! And very appreciated!

Also I hope your Ice Hockey Boys & Girls & Peeps have a good season!!!

why r u always posting some terf shit

to be genuine? because i see a lot of fundamental feminist ideas being talked about exclusively by terfs, and i think trans-inclusive feminism still needs concepts like "it is normal to be angry at the patriarchy" and "the porn industry is misogynistic" and "it's hard to be a butch woman."

so when i read a post on tumblr pushing back on terf shit that inadvertently includes general anti-feminist sentiment, i respond by writing my own posts about feminist concepts that have been co-opted by terfs while adhering to my values of being pro-sex, pro-trans, and anti-bioessentialism.

sorry this response is happening on my hockey sideblog.

[juney-blues]

June Egbert is, and always has been incredibly fascinating to me because of just, how many factors have conspired to make Homestuck fans show their collective transmisogynistic asses.

The main character of Homestuck transitioning is a planned future plot point for the official continuation of homestuck, that was spoiled in advance by a fan making a joke about finding some toblerones Andrew Hussie the author of homestuck hid in a cave.

The current main writers of Homestuck: Beyond Canon have went on record in an AMA confirming that this was indeed always the plan, even before they took up the project.

In spite of these facts, the general consensus among certain homestuck fans seems to be that "June Egbert" is purely a headcanon for the original comic that was "made canon" by a "Toblerone Wish" (a concept that didn't even exist at the time)

For a variety of reasons, the "canonicity" of the postcanon official continuations of homestuck is a mattter of much debate, (though a debate that most homestuck fans seem to err on a side of "it's not canon at all in the slightest," something the writers have feelings on I'm sure.)

All of these factors combined leave the concept of "June Egbert" in a very nebulous place. It's assumed by most to just be an "ascended headcanon" that was shoehorned in, it's a spoiler so it hasn't happened yet in any official media, and the official media it will eventually happen in is regarded by some to be nothing more than glorified fanfic.

If someone is talking about June Egbert, and you don't like the concept of June Egbert, you have your pick of a million different excuses for why she's fake and gay and not worth discussing and bad writing and just the authors doing a gay dumbledore*, paying lip service to representation while actually doing nothing.

And of course, lots of people *don't* like June Egbert! Rather than being introduced as transfem from the start, she's in this nebulous position of discovery where people have to truly reckon with the idea of a "Pre-transition Trans Woman."

You can try to write off *some* of the backlash as transphobia, because obviously not everyone in this fandom is gonna be cool about trans people.

But there's no shortage of fans just dying to tell you about how much they like reading her as transmasc, or the idea of her being nonbinary or genderqueer or genderfluid, or literally anything besides a trans woman. And since they're fine with all those other interpretations, there's obviously no implicit biases driving their distaste for the concept! (if you want to try explaining the concept of "transmisogyny" to people like this you're braver than I.)

you can trust them when they say it's *just* a problem with whether or not it makes sense with the writing, or it just doesn't feel right somehow, or any of the thousands of excuses that this writing situation gives them to just Not Like It.

It's just, so interesting to me. There's not a lot of characters out there that get a trans arc in this way, that leaves room for open denialism and insistence that we have our trans cake and eat it too... Because Homestuck is a timeline spanning multiverse story, lots of people seem to want it to be an alternate timeline thing. Assuring us we can have this character share space with a non-transitioning version of herself and it won't be weird or imply gross things about trans people.

If you ask me it feels like a plotline that'd be really good for exploring some gender horror though, finding your true self and then being demoted to a footnote, an alternate version, because everyone around you likes your pre-transition self more....

Anyway I have no broader point beyond "hey look at this isn't this kinda weird. You don't get this kinda stuff often!"

*side note: it's a little ghoulish I think to compare "a future trans plot point that hasn't been given the chance to even happen yet, in an already famously queer piece of media, from a nonbinary author" to "some stupid shit done by the literal most famous transphobe of all time" but that's perhaps a discussion for later.

[genderqueerdykes]

hello, i have a question concerning one of your recent posts talking about trans men, ftm and other male or mspec people being lesbians. i mean this in the most respectful way possible, but how could a trans man be a lesbian? isnt the whole point non men loving non men? im sorry if youve got this question before and thanks for answering in advance if you do

i get this question all the time lol but i don't mind answering. thanks for taking the time to ask!

that is radfem rhetoric that you've picked up from other people inadvertently- lesbian does not mean "non man loving non man," as gay does not mean "non woman loving non woman". "gay" is a form of queer attraction, so is lesbian. if we don't define "gay" by who we leave out, why are we doing so with lesbianism? we do not define who we are attracted to by who we leave out, that makes no sense. lesbian is a form of queer attraction that can include as many people as an individual feels is right for them. if we say "non men" to include nonbinary people why are we excluding nonbinary and other trans people who also happen to be men as well? some people are "non men" and men at the same time, so do we exclude them, too, or do we include them?

the logic falls apart instantly the second we remind ourselves that multigender, genderfluid, gender non conforming, genderqueer, (masc) nonbinary, genderfuck and other people who completely break the gender binary. and a lot of them are men and mascs. lesbians should not have to be shoved inside of a cis butch woman - cis femme woman dichotomy and nothing else. we've been tricked into thinking like radfems by viewing "proper" lesbian relationships as relationships between cis lesbians and feminine afab nonbinary lesbians (who are being viewed as cis women in this scenario) and nobody else. we need to allow lesbianism to be diverse, otherwise, we will continue this radfem echo chamber that has been going on for decades!

we must also consider that lesbian is a form of queer attraction, so it can include lots of experiences, just like gay can. nonbinary people, genderqueer people, trans people of all genders can use "gay" how they see fit, whether it means they're attracted to men, women, nonbinary people, intersex people, genderfluid people, and so on. people of all genders are allowed to do the same thing with dyke, sapphic and lesbian as well! the most common useage of the word lesbian is to mean wlw, but that doesn't mean every single lesbian, dyke and sapphic explains it that way. some lesbians, dykes and sapphics experience multiple modes of attraction! some are bi, pan, poly, omni and so on

lesbianism and men are not polar opposites. lesbians can be multigender or genderfluid. lesbians can be transmascs and trans men and guys and boys and men. lesbians can be boydykes and guydykes. many trans men and mascs start out in the lesbian community and find their home there. some find they never stop feeling like lesbians or butches or dykes. there are two-spirit lesbians who are also men. this is totally okay. this sort of thing can hurt intersex lesbians. this kind of thinking can hurt transfem lesbians and lesbian trans women as well if transphobic people consider them "men". we need to stop trying to exclude as many people as we can from lesbianism, and focusing on including people instead. lesbian is not and well not ever be an exclusive term that only applies to women and women only. let's be real, "non men" just means very feminine nonbinary people and ""women-lite"" enbies. this doesn't apply to masc enbies and trans people, because where does the line between "non man" and "man" begin? it doesn't exist

hope that helps! thanks for taking the time to ask! have a wonderful day you can also search the tags on this post on my blog as i talk about this a lot! :) this works best in desktop or in a browser on mobile.

[hawkesque]

every time someone around me mentions they or someone else is "so ocd" when really they just mean they're controlling or like things to be clean i need 20 dollars to appear in my bank account as penance

every time i talk about having ocd and someone assumes it just means i'm a perfectionist/neat freak i need 20 dollars to appear in my bank account as penance

[nonbinairyboi]

Nothing Left: Chapter 17

Chapter Summary: Growing closer to the Millers leads to harder conversations.

Pairing: Joel Miller x nonbinary!Reader/OC (afab, dimples, has multiple nicknames but none are their name)

Word Count: ~2k

A/N: Last chapter was a bit vulnerable, whoops! We are really getting into the meat of the story now. Things are about to ramp up! Feel free to send me asks and interact if it calls to you 🫡

Series Masterlist (w/ASL) | Playlist | Read on AO3

Chapter Warnings: Discussion of death of a child and partner. Weed use. Angst.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter 17

The months settled into a rhythm as the worst weather of January and February battered the Jackson walls.

Joel had been more subdued in your encounters after the incident in his kitchen, forcing you to take control whenever you were together. His hands were more hesitant when they touched you and you tried not to dwell on how broken it made you feel.

You became a fixture around both Miller’s houses. It wasn’t discussed, it just happened. Joel still kept his distance when anyone was around but as soon as you were alone, he let you pull him in.

By early March, dinners at Maria’s became more frequent. On one such evening, you had all settled in the living room after dinner; Tommy and Joel sitting on one couch and talking in hushed tones while you and Maria signed slowly together on the other. Benji had been put to bed already and Ellie was wandering around, a stolen cookie clutched in her hand. You noticed her stop and look at the chalkboard on the mantel, her eyes scrunching up.

“Drea was yours?” She asked quietly, turning to you.

All conversation stopped as everyone looked at you. A lump formed in your throat. Trying to keep a neutral face, you nodded politely at her.

Ellie looked thoughtful for a moment.

“You were pregnant before the outbreak?” She asked, looking at you expectantly.

Nodding your head again, you fought the incessant sting in your nose. You had grown closer and closer to Ellie ever since the conversation in January. It felt more like an aunt/uncle or parent role than it had before.

“So everyone here has had kids?” She asked timidly, sounding like she was afraid of the answer.

“Ellie!” Joel’s sharp tone cut through the silence, a hard look clouding his face. You saw him meet Ellie’s eyes before glancing swiftly at you and then back.

You realized the implication instantly. It was something you had guessed at for a while but the confirmation broke your heart. It explained a lot about him. You noticed him absentmindedly touching the broken watch he wore on his wrist. Feeling like you were intruding, your gaze shifted to the floor, unsure where to go from here.

“Joel.” Maria said with a warning tone, before turning back towards Ellie. “That’s right.”

Joel immediately got up and walked towards the kitchen. Ellie looked at the floor, ashamed at what had transpired.

You waved your hand to get Ellie’s attention, signing ‘it’s ok’ once she met your eyes.

She accepted your comfort instantly, walking over and curling herself at your feet, her head leaning on your knee.

‘You can ask me.’ You signed to her.

The glassy look in her eyes began to recede at your encouragement and she straightened up to face you.

“Did you have a husband?” She asked.

‘No.’ You signed, smirking slightly. ‘Wife.’

You were bending the truth slightly, but you doubted that Ellie cared or understood the concept of a ‘legal’ marriage.

Ellie’s eyes bugged out as she looked at you. You were suddenly self-conscious. You’d think that in the apocalypse, people would have bigger issues than being gay, but you had seen that disproven many times in the last 20 years. Aware of Maria and Tommy’s eyes on you, you kept your gaze fixed on Ellie.

“You like women?!” She asked, sounding incredulous but also intrigued.

Taking a breath to ground yourself, you signed back ‘I like both.’

Ellie’s eyes suddenly widened even further, causing you to bite the inside of your cheek to hold back a laugh.

“Learn something new every day.” You heard Tommy mumble.

Your head shot up to see a slight smirk on his face. At the further curl of his lip, you rolled your eyes.

“How-” Ellie started but stopped herself until you gave her an encouraging nod. “A donor? Right? I’ve heard of that.”

You smirked again, nodding at her. An easy silence fell over the room as you all watched Ellie process the information.

“Can I ask what happened to your wife?” She asked, not meeting your eyes.

You nodded again slowly, deciding that leaving out details would be best. ‘She was bitten.’

Ellie looked defeated, as if this was somehow her fault.

You patted her shoulder to get her attention before signing ‘I’m ok now.’

“When?” Ellie asked.

‘A few months after Drea was born.’ You signed.

Ellie stared at you for a moment before nodding in understanding. Unable to meet her gaze, you looked towards the doorway, where you were surprised to see Joel standing, meeting your eyes. You lost yourself for a moment, looking for comfort in him. His eyes were glassy, but he cleared his throat quickly, making his presence known.

“Ellie, we should get home.” He said, beckoning her towards the front door.

You followed soon after, waving off Maria’s attempts to make you stay.

The night had left you feeling hollow, hopeful, and guilty all at the same time.

For the first time in months, you found yourself retreating inwardly, old habits curling their way around your limbs.

You focused all your attention and energy on throwing yourself into odd jobs, from patrol to gardening to meal prep to stables to picking up shifts on the wall.

You hadn’t seen Joel when you were out and about and wondered if he was avoiding you. But who were you to judge? Your attention was elsewhere.

Ellie still ran up to surprise you whenever she saw you around, but all of your conversations had been fleeting, both of you busy.

By the time Eugene knocked on your door on Thursday, you were exhausted, laying down on the couch as you passed the bowl back and forth lazily.

He was silent as he inhaled deeply. You could feel his gaze digging into your skull as you stared at the ceiling. Steeling yourself, you glanced over at him before signing, ‘what?’

Eugene huffed at your attitude.

“I was just gonna ask how you’ve been doing.” He said. “Something seemed different this week on patrol.”

You waved your hand dismissively. ‘I had a hard day the other day. I’m doing better now. Just had to work it out.’ You signed sloppily.

Eugene hummed his understanding before adding, “If it’s ever something else, you’d tell me, right?”

‘Of course’ you signed.

You came over to help Maria with the next dinner. Ellie was skipping this week to hang out with the friends she was starting to make and Tommy and Joel were still on patrol.

You had intended to help with the prep a lot more but you had ended up holding and entertaining Benji. He had grown so much in the last few months, his babbles more frequent as he explored the world around him. He loved peek-a-boo, even though you didn’t say the words, relying on gasps to hold his attention.

Dinner was simmering as Maria vented to you about the council’s latest troubles. The atmosphere was light, and with how fatigued you both were from the week, it turned a bit slap-happy and giggly.

“I really had to tell a grown man in the fucking apocalypse that he is not the exception to our firearm safety rules just because he considers himself more of an expert at 30 than the 55-year-old woman who served in a full-ass war.” Maria exclaimed, exasperated. “Children, all of them.”

‘I wish I had the confidence of a man who is wrong,’ you signed absentmindedly.

Maria spit out the drink she had taken at that, sending you both into a fit of giggles that were only egged on when Benji joined in, clapping his hands, just happy to be included.

You were both wheezing so hard that it took you both a moment to realize that the atmosphere of the room suddenly felt hazier. When it finally registered, you froze for half a second before jumping into action, quickly handing Benji to Maria before running to the oven and opening it.

You had both forgotten about the bread, which was now quite a bit darker than intended. Coughing through your residual laughs, you waved the air in front of you before grabbing the bread out with a hot pad.

“Oh shit!” Maria said between laughs before her face suddenly scrunched up. “Oh, gross lil man! But good timing I guess. I’ll be right back. Open the windows, would you?”

You nodded, your smile still wide. Catching your breath, you leaned against the counter, hanging your head for a moment and feebly attempting to stifle a few last giggles. You pushed off the counter and opened the kitchen window. The smoke still lingered after you waved your arms, trying to disperse it. Finally coming to the conclusion that more windows were needed, you headed towards the front of the house. Throwing another window open, you leaned your back against the wall and threw your head back, the exhaustion catching up with you.

As you caught your breath and reveled in the chilled air coming inside, you heard footsteps and low voices from outside coming closer.

“M’not lonely Tommy, Jesus.”

“Just saying, what would be the harm in settling down? It’s safe here. Why don’t you put yourself out there?” You heard their footsteps stop, a huff of annoyance audible from inside.

“Tommy, I don’t need you to set me up. I swear to god, if you-”

“What about someone like Charlie?”

You froze, anticipation caught in your throat as you listened intently.

A scoff sounded from outside, and your stomach dropped.

“What the hell am I supposed to do with someone like that?” Joel said harshly.

Something twisted painfully inside you.

“What do you mean?”

“Can’t even communicate. It’s like talking to a brick wall.”

You flinched, shame creeping up your spine.

“That’s hardly fair. You barely talk more than Charlie!”

Tommy’s reply added a sting of anger to the boiling pot of emotions inside you. Who was Joel to talk?

Joel's voice dropped. “Don’t!”

You held your breath, hoping against hope that he was about to deflate and take it back, explain it away as a mistake as if he’d just gotten defensive.

“I’ve got my own issues; my own shit I’m trying to work through for Ellie. Don’t need any of that-” he paused and your fingers clenched into fists at your side.

“Mess.”

The word hit you hard in the sternum, a roar starting in your ears. As panic started to take hold in your lungs, you pushed yourself off of the wall, practically running up the stairs, holding your hand up to knock on Benji’s door just as Maria opened it, a content Benji on her hip.

Her face fell as she registered your facial expression, her eyebrows drawing together.

“What’s wrong?”

You heard the front door open downstairs and you felt each thud of your heart in your chest, a throbbing erupting in your temple.

‘I’m sorry, I don’t feel good’ you signed, your hand clutching your head. ‘I need to go home. Lay down.’

“Why don’t you lie down here?” Maria asked, looking worried. “I’m not sure I want you walking home.”

‘It’s ok’ you insisted ‘I need to go.’

“Okay, honey.” She replied, still looking concerned.

She curled her free arm around yours, watching you carefully as you both descended the stairs.

Against your better judgement, you glanced toward Joel and Tommy, who were both standing in the living room, turning towards you as you entered.

“Charlie’s not feeling well.” Maria advised.

“Y’alright?”

Your gaze flew to Joel, incredulous that he would pretend to care after his words moments ago.

His brow was furrowed in concern. You had always thought that he was a pretty straightforward guy who didn’t bother faking many emotions, but apparently he was a better actor than you took him for.

‘I’m fine.’ You signed quickly, turning towards the door to shuffle on your shoes and coat. ‘I need to go home, I’m sorry.’

“Well I hope you feel better, Char.” Tommy said.

‘Thank you.’ You signed as you reached for the doorknob. ‘Enjoy the food!’

Wrenching the door open, you stepped outside, finally able to take a deep breath in the cold air.

“What burned?” You heard Tommy ask as you shut the door behind you.

Taglist:

@powellssaturn

@silas-aeiou

@thedilfdiaries

[radfemnotfemme]

been learning about radical feminism in the past year and i have completely reevaluated my beliefs about gender ideology. now im just so stuck on the idea of, how can identifying as another gender not be fundamentally regressive, sexist, and upholding gender norms? how can men just identify out of oppression? but now idk what to do holding these beliefs because truly all my friends would have serious issues with me if i were ever to voice this. in fact, i have close friends who are trans, and there are many trans people in my wider social circle (one of whom specifically made me so uncomfortable in a "female" space that it contributed to me unlearning my previous beliefs abt gender ideology). i attend a super liberal university where in a recent english class my professor even made a comment about jk rowling being an evil terf now.

i feel like i'm walking around with a dirty secret. i feel like i can't discuss these ideas with anyone irl, not even my girlfriend. it would fundamentally change her view of me as she as an incredibly vocal trans ally. i could see her breaking up with me for these beliefs; i could see many friends distancing themselves from me. i'm just wondering how you navigate a social world like this with radfem beliefs ahhhh

i feel you on the “dirty secret” aspect! i can try to give some advice since i’m in a very similar situation (minus the fact i live in a conservative area.)

due to my appearance (i’m visibly gay) i usually only attract TRA & ‘queer’ types to me. my friends are all TRA or some variant of ���genderqueer.” i only have one friend ive been able to confide my beliefs to, and she’s more a closet conservative type so we really only agree on trans issues. I will say, if you can find even one person that you can speak freely with it’ll be a huge weight off your chest. Whenever I see this one friend we both just ramble because we can finally talk about shit that we can’t comfortably talk about with anyone else.

the way i’ve gone about managing my friendships with TRAs is to simply never bring up trans (or controversial radfem) topics. i avoid it like the plague, will change topic, and if directly questioned on something i will play the dumb and innocent role, aka just pretending to not understand but intend as coming from a good place. you should evaluate which of your friendships putting up this facade will be worth it, because it gets exhausting fast. i have some trans friends, but they’re all the “genderfluid/nonbinary AFAB who goes by any pronouns” type who present extremely feminine at all times, never even push the boundaries of gender expression honestly which is funny. (literally theyfabs lol) They dont care that i always use she/her and they honestly never bring up gender stuff with me. these type of girls aren’t too bad to be around as i feel they’re not as far gone as some TIPs are who actually take the steps to transition, etc. Being around a hardcore TIF or TIM might be a more difficult friendship to maintain.

Regarding your significant other, you should consider if this is a breaking point in your relationship. For me it’s not since my gf was generally uninformed about trans issues like the dangers of males in womens prisons, unfairness in sports, why oppressed is sex based and not gender based, etc. We’ve had discussions about this, where i explained my reasoning for being against these issues & she actually ended up agreeing after I showed her the facts. She’s still ‘pro-trans’ but is much more reasonable about it & thinks majority trans people just wanna live their life (which who can argue with that!) If this type of open conversation isn’t something you think could be achievable with your gf, you guys might just not be compatible.

It sounds like you live in a very liberal area & so my advice to you would be to see if there’s any radical feminist organizations near you. I think finding other people who think the same as you will help you feel less guilty. It’ll probably be hard since most radfems are secretive about their beliefs (for obvious reasons lol) but i’m sure you’ll find someone eventually.

[fitzrove]

gender stuffff (positive for once)

I think I'm just butch-curious 😊😎 tried on some clothes just now (bought a men's cut waistcoat recently + own a slightly oversized shirt courtesy of dad) w a diy binder arrangement and I really liked that!!

I think this explains a lot of things actually skksks, like the weird jealous feeling I get reading about nonbinary and trans people online sometimes & the rudolf obsession & my lifelong uncomfortable avoidance of trends and many aspects of socially enforced female (tm) grooming/styling/fashion that most people around me picked up as teenagers and somehow (??) didn't dislike (my only IRL ally in the refusal to participate has since come out as a man btw sksksk). I easily feel like I'm wearing a costume in a lot of pieces that might seem commonplace to others, there's basically a pretty narrow window of stuff that feels authentic to me (... usually goth-adjacent lmao), which is also one reason I really don't vibe with the current mindful and demure, classy and conservative etc. style of "adult" women's fashion. I've never been comfortable or felt like myself with makeup either (except in "costumes"). Also I just think there's something wonky and queer in my brain (/pos), one time I spent 5 years convincingly pretending to be a guy in a 100+ person online community and I really liked that experience, not to mention [sex stuff that's too personal to discuss on tumblr sksksk].

I've been afraid to unpack all this because of social stigma - don't really want to discuss it with my parents, for instance, or to get comments from people I grew up with. But living abroad in a big city means I don't really have to :') And I guess I have it easier than many - I still like being identified as a woman, I like my mannerisms and my voice and using she/her pronouns and being a lesbian... BUT I'm going to try to go for some wardrobe updates and see how I like that :] probably going to be subtle about it because I'm not out at work lol but I should be very glad to get clocked by other queer people more in the future :D never forget random coworker who read me as both goth and gay based on a random ass black and white office outfit... i owe you my life 😭

[vintage-bentley]

How in the fuck are you going to be anti trans and a Good Omens fan as if both the book and the show don’t explicitly establish the existence of several nonbinary characters and both Aziraphale and Crowley themselves are genderless beings

Not to mention both David and Michael’s staunch support of the LGBT (really emphasizing the T here, since you love to drop it) community as a whole, and David literally has a trans child

Part of me is even asking this in good faith because how do you see a series that is so incredibly queer and like it considering how much you shit-talk trans people on your lackluster TERF blog

There’s many reasons, actually! I’ll explain them in good faith, because I think that people who ask questions like this don’t understand the perspective of so-called “terfs” and assume we think like you do.

Firstly, I’m a feminist, so I’m used to media not aligning with my politics. I expect it, actually. Down to very simple things, like knowing I’m never going to go into a show and see a woman just existing with body hair like men do in shows all the time. But I’m comfortable and confident enough in my beliefs that I can consume media that doesn’t align with them. This extends to my feelings regarding gender. A they/them character doesn’t make my head explode, it’s just the same for me as seeing a Christian character (like Ella from Netlix’s Lucifer) or a female character who’s pro-beauty culture (like Elinor from First Kill). It’s a representation of a belief I don’t agree with and personally don’t believe in, that’s all.

Secondly, Good Omens is set in a made up universe with fantasy themes. I can easily get behind the idea that the true forms of angels and demons are genderless, because that makes sense to me in the same way God being genderless makes sense to me. This doesn’t have to carry over to me believing that humans can be genderless (I don’t believe in the concept of internal gender identity, because I don’t believe in souls. So I guess the better way to put this is that I don’t believe humans can be sexless unless we’re using gender and sex as synonyms). In the same way that it makes sense to me that angels and demons have souls that are put into bodies issued to them…but I don’t have to believe that also applies to humans. Or how it makes sense to me that Aziraphale and Crowley could survive without food, water, and sleep…but I don’t have to believe that also applies to humans. Etc. etc.

Basically, just because something is in a fantasy show, doesn’t mean I have to believe it’s real.

Thirdly, what the actors do in their own lives is none of my business. I don’t agree with supporting the TQ+ especially in relation to LGB (considering they’ve made it a primary goal to harass lesbians into pretending we can like penis, and to take every chance they get to express their hatred for homosexuality. I love to drop the T because they dropped me and my fellow homosexuals years ago). If two straight male actors want to do that, whatever. I also don’t agree with Sheen having a baby with a woman his daughter’s age, but that hasn’t stopped me from watching the show or appreciating his talent.

This all takes me back to what I said about believing you don’t truly understand the perspective of those you call “terfs”. Just because you might not be able to comprehend watching and enjoying something that doesn’t perfectly align with your worldview, doesn’t mean others feel the same. For example, many radical and rad-leaning feminists enjoyed the Barbie movie, despite it not being radical feminist. We’re capable of watching and enjoying things we don’t agree with, and of having discussions about why we don’t agree with it.

A much simpler answer to your question would be: I’ve always loved angels and demons and all things supernatural. I’ve always loved old cars. I love Queen. Religious/moral commentary and critique interest me. I love lighthearted comedies. I’m gay and starved for representation of healthy gay relationships. I love gay star-crossed lovers stories (go watch First Kill). Naturally, I’m going to love Good Omens, even if it doesn’t perfectly align with my worldview.

[facelessoldgargoyle]

After I hooked up with my fwb last night we were talking about my thoughts about transitioning and my sex life, and he was like, “ok I have a dumb question. What’s cruising?” lmaooo

so we talked about cruising for a while, and then I was like hang on. I used the word “flagging” earlier. Do you know what flagging means? And he was like, “um. Like when people use visual cues to indicate gender nonconformity, to indicate that they’re queer?”

so we talked for a while about how femmes also flagged, and then we talked about how he consistently refers to cis, trans, and nonbinary women as “femmes,” but that “femme” is actually a separate identity from being woman-aligned. Like, my partner is nonbinary woman but they’re fairly masc, it would be odd to refer to them as femme.

I feel such affection for him. he’s friends with so many gay women, and he’s very good at absorbing things from context, and it has left many gaping holes in his vocabulary because he doesn’t want to make them explain themselves every time he doesn’t know what a word means. But it means that sometimes he doesn’t know what femme actually means. Lmao

[xx-slug-xx]

I feel like an outlier in the trans community tbh. It’s so hard to explain to people, especially cis allies who are trying to understand my experience and are curious. But even in the trans community, I feel like I have a very different way of going about gender expression and how I feel about my gender all together. I don’t really see to many other trans folks describing their gender in the same way that I would. Even my boundaries with my gender and such feels like a sort of “taboo”. And with all the infighting I’ve been seeing going on I the community, who can use at labels, who’s valid and who’s not, and all the other horrible things I’ve seen, it’s given me time to reflect on myself. I haven’t really disconcerted myself or anything like that, and it only confirms my gender more for me tbh. But it’s given me some time to know how to describe my gender in a way that works for me.

I’m trans masc

I’m nonbinary

I use he/they pronouns

I am a boy but I am not a man

I want a deeper voice and a more masculine body structure, but I don’t want facial hair or look too masculine.

I am not a woman, a girl, or a lady

I don’t use the lesbian label at all, but the lesbian community gives me a sense of comfort that cis men can never give me

Honestly, I’d rather be in a room full of lesbians than a room full of gay men.

I recognize that I am female, but I’m no woman

I am comfortable with being born female

I have a chosen name and a first name

But I don’t have a dead name, for it is still in use

It’s gross if anyone who isn’t a friend calls me by my chosen name

I love that my family has the honor of calling me by the name they gave me

For clarification, my family is concerned but supportive of me being trans

I want testosterone, but I don’t want any sort of surgeries

I don’t feel that I was born in the wrong body, it’s the world around me that sees me wrong

I have dysphoria, but not for my body in a traditional transgender way

It’s a dysphoria based on other people’s perceptions of me, otherwise I’m comfortable in my own skin

My dysphoria is purely social in nature

It amazes me that gender can be so complicated and how contradictory it may sound to others. But to me it makes perfect sense. I simply am myself. I am me. Nobody can change that and I don’t need validation from anyone else. I love being who I am in this body. I don’t need to prove anything about my gender, my personal experiences, to anyone. I know who I am, and that’s enough for me.

[tjalexandernyc]

Not sure why so many people are getting nostalgic over Claire's at the moment but if you'd like to hear my personal Claire's ear piercing story here it is.

I'm 40 years old so I grew up in peak '90s mall culture. Claire's was a standard stop on any mall visit along with The Rave, Auntie Anne's, and the sketchy arcade. Despite the ubiquity of Claire's and its cheap ear piercing, I never got my ears pierced until I was... probably 15 or maybe 14. I don't know how I escaped it for so long; most of my girl friends had their ears pierced either as an infant or at least before they were tweens. I suspect it was a combination of me being a little nonbinary baby who didn't want to wear earrings in both ears but couldn't articulate why, so I never asked for them; the fact that my mom was thrifty and never offered; and my grandmother's penchant for clip-on earrings, since she'd also never gotten her ears pierced. I think when she was growing up in the 1920s it was seen as slutty? Anyway IF I was required to wear earrings for a fancy occasion there were plenty of grandma's sitting around the place.

But when I was 14 or 15, I was at the mall with my father. I don't remember why we were at the mall together. We rarely did anything together, and even now are not especially close. I vaguely remember my childhood best friend being there too. We must have been waiting for someone or something (maybe a movie at the attached theater?) and had some time to kill.

I think my dad must have offered to buy us some earrings we were examining at one of the kiosks, because I remember having to explain to him that I didn't have pierced ears. My dad famously misremembered things about me, like thinking I'd had braces when it was my older brother, not me, who needed them. He was shocked. He must have assumed I'd gotten them pierced at some point, but I told him no, it never happened. He offered to pay for the piercing at Claire's right then and there.

I don't know if I can explain how it felt, that offer. I was largely ambivalent about piercings. I knew, as most '90s kids did, that there was a Gay Ear that some guys wore earrings in, but no one seemed to agree which one it was. I have a visceral memory, down to knowing exactly which seat I was in, when a kid in the elementary school lunchroom got a cheap clip on pirate earring stuck on his earlobe and was mercilessly taunted for it being on the Gay Ear. I both wanted piercings so I could figure out which of my ears, if any, were gay. I simultaneously didn't want anyone putting holes in me. I craved visibility and invisibility in equal measure. I wanted to do something with my dad, since we never did things together. I didn't want to spend my own money on ear piercing, which my father spoke of like some inevitable event. I wanted to talk to my best friend about all this alone even though I knew she would not understand.

I ended up getting my ears pierced at Claire's that day. The 18 year old cashier who was manning the piercing gun made one puncture slightly off center compared to the other. I picked out a pair of cubic zirconia studs, which I thought weren't as girly as the others. After the piercings healed I started wearing earrings pretty much every day and amassed a huge collection of them. I did that up until I came out a few years ago.

I don't wear earrings often anymore but when I do it's usually just one dangly transguy-esque piece or a single hoop. I put it in the same ear that the kid in the lunchroom did. I haven't thought about my father in relation to my piercings for a very long time, until recently, when the Claire's memes reminded me. I think there's probably a lot of pop psychology mud to dig through there if someone cared to. I don't.

My father and I talk a couple times a year now, usually brokered by my mom. He has pierced ears, by the way, three in each ear. I don't remember when that happened. I'd like to think it was around the time my parents got divorced. I'd like to think it was circa 1997. I'd like to think it happened the way I know it didn't, in a way that even our combined shit memories couldn't conjure: that we both got gunned at the Claire's at the mall, ears red and puffy, before getting a cinnamon sugar pretzel to split. It didn't happen that way, but god I wish it had.

[cosmossystem]

hey, uh – i don't really want to come at you because i think you have a decent point, but you can be a trans man, lesbian, and on testosterone all at the same time (source: i am one). while i think there may be some people like that, i also think that a lot of them choose to call themselves lesbians because they are lesbian trans men/transmascs, not straight trans men

i don't want to come across as condescending, so i apologize if i am, but i don't like the insinuation that all trans men attracted to women are strictly straight, because a lot of us have complicated relationships with our sexuality and gender

Hi. i will not be articulating myself very well in parts of this. so please bare with me & assume that i have a good faith argument here, not one built on hate but rather built on both inclusion and introspection. that 'introspection' part is key in my politics. Also, when i say "you", i mean it in a general sense, not "you" directly as the asker here. i don't know you personally and i'm not trying to tell you how to live your life.

so, to your ask specifically: i know that, and acknowledged that in the post even, but i don't think it detracts from my point.

i'm not saying you (general) can't be a man AND a butch lesbian. i'm sure you can! there are plenty. but i'm saying if you are to a point where you are kicking and screaming that you can never ever never be a straight trans man... why? what's stopping you, aside from comfort in the lesbian label? what's so comfortable about it, to you, as a man?

i get having a complicated relationship with gender. (i have one too, believe it or not.) but... listen. take it from someone who has tried their entire life to explain their feelings away. you cannot simply slap a label on a complex feeling and call it a day. you need to address the feeling.

i guess at the end of the day (and this is me personally, i'm not trying to make a statement or something) i'm not really seeing why you would want to label it as lesbian attraction as opposed to literally anything else. THAT'S why i made my post -- this attachment to the idea that a 'queer' attraction MUST be gay/lesbian, when really, it's a queer relationship because the people inside of it are queer. 'straight' is a bit of a misnomer here. to me, these terms are descriptors moreso than they are full-fledged identities -- however, it seems the folks in question are treating it moreso as identities, which i get... but also don't get.

ok, here is where i DO make a statement: there is a serious problem of trans men's identities not being seen as enough because they're men. this is just fact. questioning trans men will do absolutely anything to avoid accepting a binary male identity -- including and especially identifying as things like butch, nonbinary, or genderfluid when really if they were to kill the transphobe in their heads, they would find that they're happier as a man. sure, these things can coexist with maleness, but more often they are used as "stepping stones" so to speak. this is why movements like forcemasc/autoandrophilia are so popular; because for decades, it's been told that if you're a trans man, you are 'not queer enough', because we associate queerness with femininity. (the history of that is one of my special interests, but unless you want my 20ish-page WIP thesis, that's a convo for another day.)

right now i'll just say that communities on tumblr are REALLY adamant that you can be many things at once. and that's great and all, because you can! we all contain multitudes. but if you just accept things at face-value, it does nothing to confront that internalized transphobia in your head. you need to be asking *why* a label/identity/descriptor/etc resonates with you.

it boils down to then, i suppose, if the word 'lesbian' is really a necessary term/descriptor for any reason other than comfort. which, once again, comfort is a valid reason... but were it me, i would also want to challenge that comfort.

are you a lesbian because you feel like you "need" to be a lesbian for your queer attraction towards women to "count"? are you a lesbian because historically, lesbianism has been close with butchness and transness? are you a lesbian because it's convenient? because of history? why are you so strongly adamant that you MUST be a butch transmasculine lesbian? is there a voice in your head saying that you "can't" be a man attracted to women, because if you are then it will "detract" from your queer identity? why do you cling so hard to being a not-woman, but refuse to even entertain the idea of being a man instead? and if you are comfortable being a man, how is the lesbian label (historically associated with women who like women) serving you? i'm not saying it can't, i want you (not me) to answer how.

i'm not intending to say that i know more than you about who you are. i simply mean to say that often, it's a misdiagnosis of sorts. i have this same problem with folks who have dozens of microlabels or sets of pronouns. again, there's nothing wrong with it necessarily, but it begs the question of if ALL of that is necessary, if ALL of that feels 'true' to yourself, if ALL of that is a crucial part of your identity.

is it how you are happiest? is it the most accurate way to describe yourself?

let me use my personal experience to explain better what i mean. for a while, i refused to acknowledge being a trans man in any capacity. i identified for a good chunk of time as nonbinary, and even as a nonbinary lesbian when i was really young, and for over a decade i always explained away why i 'couldn't' transition, or why testosterone 'just wasn't for me.' (i read a great article about this recently, btw.) because i couldn't be a man--i just couldn't, that was off limits--but, oh, i could NEVER be a woman. for the majority of my pubescent life i refused to acknowledge to be anywhere NEAR womanhood. i wasn't a man, but i certainly WASN'T a woman.

and because of that rejection of womanhood, i did anything in my power to distance myself from liking women or even feeling a connection to womanhood. it's like being anywhere adjacent to femininity 'tarnished' me somehow. i am only just now starting to come to terms with an attraction to women and i still haven't gotten out of that rut yet, and hell sometimes i start to think i might be genderfluid--but because i pushed away any possible connections with femininity, i would have never accepted that. similarly, i'm only just now going on testosterone after having battled my entire teenage years with why i didn't need it.

the point of my post wasn't that you can't be happy as an xyz; rather that we often use these straddling identities that seem contradictory because we have conflict somewhere in ourselves that is unresolved. i was genderfluid, i was a transmasculine lesbian, i was a gay nonbinary person-- and all of those are respectable labels to use which i have no problems with, but they weren't serving to address my underlying problems. they did nothing to address why i felt the way i did, why i used those labels.

it's one thing to use a label, it's another to identify with it.

ultimately, not everyone is going to see identity in the same way i do. and i understand that and i respect it. for some people it's a fun little game or they like collecting words and flags. but i think when you treat it that way, when you collect these labels without crucially examining why you feel that way, or when you use a term because it's what is most comfortable to you without examining why it's comforting, you are essentially refusing to examine yourself critically. no, you aren't required to do it, but the longer it goes unexamined, the bigger a problem it becomes.

once again, if you (general 'you', not asker) come away from it all and are truly, fully happy as a trans male butch lesbian, that's great, i might not get it but i don't need to, and i wish you the best in life as your beautiful self. but i think it's something to think about that we (for lack of better term) encourage so much overlap of labels. the overlap exists, and i recognize that it does--at the end of the day, other people's identities is none of my business, and i'm just pointing out that too many people are not enough people are addressing their real feelings (which i'd like to remind you, dear asker, that was the point of my post.) but i also have to note--if you are adamant about being a not-woman, i would imagine you would want as far away from a label that historically has applied pretty exclusively to women as possible. i sure did. well, ultimately it's not for me to decide.

i have a lot more to say, but to be honest, i don't think tumblr is where i'm going to get full-blown academic-level good-spirited discourse about the historical usage of terms like 'lesbian' and 'dyke' so i'm just going to stop here. Sorry if something didn't make sense or seemed like i'm putting an entire community of people down.

[serrennedyanonwriter]

Guess who’s doing the hc thing? Me!

1 | 2 | 3

Anyways, this is part one of ??? I honestly don’t know how many there will be since I’m not only doing certain characters and leaving many out. Please don’t be homophobic/transphobic/etc. If you really hate this, then just scroll. Thank you!

Rebecca Chambers

Lesbian/Nonbinary/Polygamous/Aroace

I’m going to be honest when I say I hc a lot of characters as aroace and polyamorous as I myself am aroace and polyamorous, and I crave representation.

Anyway, I don’t see her dating a man. She hates them /hj

As for being nonbinary, she gives off the vibes, I don’t know how to explain it.

Continuing on, she’s also aroace as she isn’t really interested in anyone in either way. Like, it takes a lot for her to actually fall in love.

Also, she’s polyamorous because I said so, fight me /hj

Billy Coen

Straight Ally

Going to be honest when I say I’m biased when it comes to him.

I don’t really like his character, not to say no one can. Like, he has a good backstory, just don’t like the stuff he says to Rebecca, who may I remind you is 18, and judging by the fact the game takes place in July, she recently graduated, and he’s like 26.

He gives me the ick, I’m sorry, and for that reason, I don’t see him as anything but a straight-cisgendered man.

While I can attempt to ignore it as the writers being weird, I can’t do it since then I’d be biased as I’ve not done it for any other creep in the series, and I’m not going to start now.

Albert Wesker

Pansexual/Trans-Masculine/Aroace/Polyamorous

I mainly hc him as pansexual because of his VA seeing him as such, so it’s kind of semi-canon.

Plus, he hates everyone equally, and I find that to be an amazing reason to be pansexual.

Trans because my boyfriend made me realize how funny it’d be for Wesker to know of Jake’s existence, just ignores it.

Aroace as I don’t see him typically being attracted to anyone in anyway.

And polyamorous because I love shipping him with Krauser and William, so why not make him have both at the same time? /hj

William Birkin

Bisexual/Polyamorous

Remember how I said I like shipping Wesker with him? Yeah, that’s why he’s polyamorous. He has a wife AND a boyfriend.

Bisexual as he’s a men and women kisser /hj

Chris Redfield

Bisexual/Demisexual/Polyamorous

I meant it when I said I’m headcanoning a lot of bitches to be polyamorous for I crave representation.

I know a lot of people see him as a mlm gay, and before I get jumped for seeing him as bisexual, I’m also a mlm gay.

If anything, he’s more attracted to men because come on, we all seen how he looks at Leon in Vendetta, that’s not how you look at a friend-

Demisexual because vibes. I don’t see him sleeping with those he’s not particularly close with.

Polyamorous because I crave representation /hj

Jill Valentine

Bisexual/Trans-Feminine/Aroace/Polyamorous

Unlike Chris, she’s more attracted to women. She’s always thought she was a lesbian, but eventually, came to the terms she is attracted to men, just rarely does she ever do.

Trans as I view a lot of RE characters to be trans, and I’m not sorry.

Aroace and polyamorous as again, I crave representation + she doesn’t seem to be really interested in anyone throughout the series.

Barry Burton

Straight Ally

Unlike Billy, I’m not biased for him, I really don’t see him being attracted to men, just his lovely wife.

He is okay with any pronouns as well since he doesn’t really mind a they/them, she/her, xe/xem, it/its, etc. used on him, but he is cisgender.

We’ll get to Moira eventually, but I see her as trans, and Barry was very accepting of her.

Brad Vickers

Questioning/Asexual

He’s questioning as I’d like to think he’s unsure where he falls sexuality-wise. He’s well-aware that he’s not straight, but he doesn’t know fully what he is.

Asexual as I see him not being attracted to anyone like that.

Leon Kennedy

Bisexual/Trans-Masculine/Demisexual/Polyamorous

Bisexual in the way that if he hasn’t canonly flirted with women, I would’ve made him gay /hj

Trans because have you seen him? He sounds and looks like he’s just started taking testosterone in the RE2R.

Demisexual because I can see him wanting to get close before he does anything like that.

Polyamorous as I hc/joke about him having a lot of boyfriends (Luis, Carlos, Chris, Sasha, and Ethan).

Luis makes jokes that everyone else (except Carlos since they’re dating too) is a boyfriend-in-law to him /hj

Claire Redfield

Bisexual/Trans-Feminine (yes, I’m aware I put the wrong flag, shh, I didn’t realize until now)/Asexual/Greyromantic/Polyamorous

Bisexual as I can see her being with both men and women.

Trans as I find it funny to think that Chris is surrounded by trans people.

Asexual as she dislikes anything to do with sex.

Greyromantic as I see her rarely falling in love.

Polyamorous as once again, I crave representation.

[sequestered-song-skirmish]

Round 3 Poll 13

Use My Fkn Pronouns：　「I first met Allegra on the bus in 8th grade. I thought they were cool, but I didn't approach them for a couple months because I couldn't figure out if they were a boy or a girl. When I finally did talk to them, they told me they were nonbinary and explained what that meant. They asked me why knowing their gender was so important to me that I was afraid to talk to them, and that question spurred a series of epiphanies that lead me to who I am today.

The conversation moved on. We giggled about how mad their mom was that an *allergy medication* of all things used the same name just a couple years after she had her baby. They told me that they were a guitarist and that someday they were gonna be a rockstar. I said that when it happens, people will finally think of the musician first and not the medication, and we cheered.

Being openly gay and trans in a red state is fucking daunting now, but it was even moreso a decade ago. Allegra was *the* out queer kid in our class. Having the grit to withstand that kind of social abuse while remaining a goofy and deeply kind person speaks to their character. They used their music to carve out a precedent for the classes below us: showing them a queer person can be out and well-liked and successful while still having personal boundaries. Even here.

Next month they'll be onstage performing at the biggest music festival in the state. The song I submitted is the flagship single from their second album. It's about how tiring it gets to have to ask for simple respect all day every day. It's at about 3,600 some streams on spotify now, which puts it above the stream limit. (I submitted Windmill, a personal favorite of mine off the same album, as a backup.)

I think Use My Fkn Pronouns should be included in this bracket because it represents my friend standing on a stage and singing out to thousands of people, in the face of a government that is actively trying to erase them, that their life and experiences have value. They're gonna stand up there and BE the role model we needed when we were kids, and they're gonna fucking rock while they do it.

Even if it doesn't win, I want everyone to know that I am so, so proud to be their friend.」

Fang into Vein：　「okay listen.

Not only is this a chilling and beautiful song about vampires (the way he sings "it means nothing to me" the first time?! HOLY SHIT) it also is by someone so fantastic I don't have words for it.

So he is a Trans Elder TM, he is iconic for many reasons but most of all because he transitioned publicly in his mid 40s after having an established career and EXPLAINED THAT HE IS A CHANGELING, that a faerie had lived his life for him under a glamour while he the real boy had been kept in faerieland! It's the best metaphor of all time and he has stuck to it for 15 years no matter how much it baffles cis people. Also he is kind and thoughtful and if he were a spiritual leader I would follow him. Might be too popular for this bracket but this song only has 1.7k plays on youtube (I can't check spotify because I don't have a computer)... so, thank you for your consideration!」

[deedeedeedeedeedeedee]

We Are Not As Progressive As We Think

The title alone is extreme, but let me explain more in detail. In recent years, more than I've personally ever seen, I've seen "jokes", within the LGBTQ+ community as well, that were funny at first, but are now just annoying and point to a larger issue. The whole "denial is a river in Egypt" and "oh I thought they were...."

I thought that we were moving in a direction that abolished the idea of gender / presentation = sexuality but it feels like, even within the community, there is this harsh need to fit people into boxes. The jokes themselves are fine, I don't have an issue, but I find that, as a nonbinary person who, does not consider myself a girl and doesn't feel comfortable being seen as one, and vice versa. I have had conversations with people in the past where I explained that, while I do like women as well, I don't consider myself sapphic, as I don't consider myself a woman. Gender is a spectrum and there are nonbinary people that wouldn't have an issue with identifying as such, but that's not me. To which I got the response "okay sure..." And their reasoning was that it's because I dress masculine a lot of the time and they see me as a woman - therefore I'm in denial.

The same people who claim to want to abolish heteronormative ideals and the concept of gender will go into the comments of, for example, someone they assume is a gay man because of the way he dresses or holds himself, and several queer people will comment "denial is a river in Egypt" and other things of the like.

Overall, it's silly and I think sets us back. This and, I've seen much more people getting upset because "they can't tell if people are gay or straight anymore because of the clothes they wear😡." And while, yes, clothing has a huge part in our history and how we were able to recognize each other in a safe manner during times when it was not safe to announce it publicly, and still is unsafe in some places. To assume and basically tell someone their sexuality is one thing based off of the way you perceived their gender and presentation is inherently weird.

This all also ties closely together with the whole, "don't bring you straight boyfriends to pride." Many genders/sexualities you wouldn't know unless you asked. That person who you think is a cis straight man "taking up the space" at pride could very well be a nonbinary person, an acespec person, etc.

We are going backwards when we should move forward. Nothing is linear and everything is fluid. There isn't one way to be, so let's not act like there is.

[dee-in-the-box]

happy pride month, y'all! have some pride headcanons!!

none of these people are straight and/or cis to me. they've all got some weird queerness going on with them

Jack: transmasc (he/him mostly, but probably wouldn't mind they/them that much), bisexual. could see him being acespec, but sex favorable or indifferent. polyamorous.

Dave: nonbinary in a "i don't understand gender and idgaf about it" way (he/him, but honestly doesn't care. probably would find out about it/its pronouns and love those), pansexual. teach this guy about xenogenders i think he'd love those too. polyamorous (i can see it).

Peter: transfem bigender (he/she), and honestly doesn't know what her sexuality would be considering his weird gender situation (look, he grew up in the 50s-60s. the most exposure to the queer community she had was through Jack, and that wasn't. A Lot). me personally? i'd say lesbian. because Fuck It, Why Not?

Dee: technically cis because she never got to grow up and figure that stuff out (she/her), but i could see her growing up and being on the spectrum of GNC or Genderqueer (the genderqueer part is Definitely not me projecting (< lie)). also aroace (repulsed on both ends)

Henry: cis man (he/him; the first entirely cis person here), bisexual. listen. i heard that thing that was like. DD originally said he was bi but then changed it to straight after getting hate for it for some reason, and i decided to make it a situation where Henry just like. Acknowledged it was a thing for him but didn't really give any fucks because he busy Committing Crimes Against Humanity. everyone thinks he's straight though, 'cause he never mentions it (again, busy with Other Things. such as Causing Problems).

Steven: cis man (he/him), gay. This Is The Shortest Fucking One. also, Steven is the shortest adult of the cast; he's 5'5".

Harry: masc nonbinary dude (he/they), bisexual, polyamorous.

Jake: cis man (he/him), graysexual panromantic, polyamorous.

Roger: probably got some genderfuckery there, but i'll just say A Dude (gender neutral) for now (he/him), gay (as in Likes Men Or Masc-Leaning People), polyamorous. didn't realize the Gay & Poly Part until Dsaf 3. You'll Never Guess How He Found Out!

Rebecca: transfem (she/they/xe), and just queer in general. not exactly poly, but she doesn't mind Harry's...other partners (Jake and Roger). it's sort of a "This is my boyfriend, and this is my boyfriend's boyfriends! ^-^" situation.

and for a few others:

Caroline: cis woman (she/her), cupioromantic (aromantic micro-label; basically means that you don't feel romantic attraction, but still desire a romantic relationship) heterosexual. she still loves Peter, her love just isn't necessarily "romantic." i'd describe it more like queerplatonic. she got married to Peter because she does genuinely care for him and love him, but also because...well, it was what was expected of her. besides, she doesn't mind being married, it's actually pretty nice. Caroline's as close as y'all are going to get to a cishet Dsaf character from these headcanons.

Matt: transmasc agender (he/him), aroace (romance indifferent/favorable (see: "I'm Matt! Everybody loves me!"), sex indifferent/repulsed (do i even need to explain it? i think we know why this was what i picked for him).

now, fun facts!!

Jack actually doesn't experience a lot of dysphoria, just upset that he doesn't have a dick. he doesn't even mind the boobs too much (except that they make people think he's a woman; that part sucks), he'd probably just like a binder. wouldn't mind top surgery, but y'know. Binders Are Easier To Get And Cheaper Than That.

Dee is romance repulsed in terms of herself for the most part (as in the idea of being romantic herself grosses her out). except for Davesport. she told Jack and Dave to "get a room" multiple times in the Flipside.

Blackjack technically has the same labels as Jack, but y'know. Ghost Dog.

Henry doesn't understand why so many queer people work at Fazbender's (Jack, Steven, Peter, etc) because he just. keeps killing them. not due to the queerness but because They Keep Getting In His Way. what is it about the Chuck E Cheese rip-offs that attracts the gays?? Is It The Bears?? Is It The Fucking BEARS??? (i had to make the joke. i had to)

Modern Day Queer Discourse would piss Jack off. he was alive in the 60s and 70s when that shit was getting more mainstream. he's effectively a queer elder, technically (even if he kinda sorta Looks perpetually twenty-two because he kinda can't age anymore). he's seen some shit. i can see him saying on someone's "He/Him Lesbians Aren't A Thing >:(" post "my bigender brother is a lesbian, though. he's got a wife" and then logging off. you can't tell me he wouldn't

I Stand By My Statement: None Of The Kennedy Siblings Have A Normal Relationship With Gender. They Just Don't.

Jack just uses a lot of slurs for himself. he's got. So Fucking Many that he can reclaim (because y'know. Gay/Bi and Trans. and he was alive during the 60s and 70s. so you can only imagine the shit he's heard or had thrown at him).

the first time in his life that Dave ever had to worry about gender stuff was when Henry was having to like. fill out paperwork and things like that to get him an ID of some kind. when they got to gender, Dave didn't really know why that was important, nor what would really fit. they just put "male" on there because technically that would "fit him best" (since he, y'know. has a dick), but Dave didn't feel like either option fit.

i feel like Jack went to a pride event/parade sometime before Dsaf 3. like, maybe he finally felt comfortable actually going there and being out safely for the first time in his life. it was nice.

Caroline helped Peter with her makeup after she came out, and with growing his hair out.

after coming home post-Dsaf 2, Peter actually tried some dresses out. they also found out a way to still put eyeliner on him. and that was using a Sharpie to draw under her phone dial to look like eyeliner. hey, it works.

Peter never got comfortable enough to wear lipstick before he died, though :( so she never got to experience that

Jack: "If I had a nickel for every time I was someone's gay awakening, I'd have three nickels. Which isn't a lot, but how does this keep happening-" (the three people in question are Dave, Jake, and Roger)

i have so many more istg, but this post is getting long. might talk about some more if anyone's interested, though!