hawkesque

[hawkesque]

[hawkesque]

i've typed up a post about it that i will delete because its perhaps too mean-spirited but it left enough of an impression (negative) that i cant not yell into the void about it: the white lotus season 1 was perhaps thee most boring, frustrating, and disappointing tv experience ive had in years

[hawkesque]

it makes me sad the way cis women are so terrified of and disgusted by their own body hair. and i'm not talking "i have to shave for sensory reasons" i mean i keep seeing videos of women using hair identifier spray on their faces and hands so they can shave the tiniest barely-there bits of peach fuzz that came free with their bodies. hair that serves a purpose and that purpose is cleanliness and protection. i mean when i was in elementary school girls who had barely hit puberty were talking about shaving their arms. i mean full-grown adult women who will have a breakdown if they see two days of stubble on their legs/crotch/ jaw/pits because god forbid you don't look like a perfect plastic barbie doll. god forbid your body that keeps you alive comes with hair that may not be soft and glossy and photogenic. some women are so afraid of having any hair apart from their head and eyebrows that they've uno reversed themselves into six different kinds of gender dysphoria that they can't recognize as such because they're convinced that this unnatural state of highly-groomed capital-informed beauty is how women have always been. you're so scared of looking "gross" or "ugly" or "mannish" that you can't even look at your body in the mirror and recognize what it is. sister you are an ape. why are you so determined to deny your nature.

[hawkesque]

let the hard animal of your body hate what it hates

[hawkesque]

i feel like nobody has NOTPs anymore. like if you hate a ship now it has to be for some deep moral reason and you have to justify it to everyone what happened to just not liking stuff that isnt inherently bad but just because you personally think it sucks

[hawkesque]

Do you guys have like. AMVs of the mind. Like fanvideos that you have edited in your head for specific media to certain songs and every time you hear the song (or at least sometimes) you think about this nonexistent fanvideo. Used to happen to me a lot in high school and now I still do it sometimes just for fun

[hawkesque]

Job market so bad I started following my dreams

[hawkesque]

mash being surprisingly queer in the 70′s - 18/?

[hawkesque]

clipping my nails before going to an Event in case a cute girl tries to clock if im gay (things that have not and will never happen to me, but what is the point of life if we don't occasionally delude ourselves into having hope)

[hawkesque]

imagine being 100 hours old and being sent to your death, then waking up who-knows-how-long later only to immediately be told to go back to your death, then waking up AGAIN while making out with your coworker in an elevator. also said coworker is covered in blood. happened to my friend ms casey.

[hawkesque]

man. the religious themes in severance have of course been super overt all season but im obsessed with them confirming that an ENTIRE DEPARTMENT is dedicated to providing animals for sacrifice, specifically to sacrifice for dead lumon higher-ups. and of COURSE the innies responsible for these sacrifices get attached to them -- they live in a box with nothing but each other and their flock! i NEED to do an anthropological study on mammalians nurturable

[hawkesque]

out of everything that just happened i think mpreg kier was probably the craziest

[hawkesque]

Sweating nervously

[hawkesque]

20 questions for fic writers -- stolen from the dash <3

below the cut because im shy also this post will be Long. LOL

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

just posted my 50th! :)

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

155197 ... wow

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

in order: the unfortunately very popular mariner/jennifer (lwd) fic that i wrote several years ago, my one (1) shrancher, pre-canon traphawk, the Other mariner/jennifer fic, and my very first smut fic ... wow

4. What fandoms do you write for?

mash mostly but i've been dipping my toes back into trek :)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

mooooost of them i try to but sometimes i cant think of anything to say that isnt "<3" so i give up sdfksdjflsd

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably the thelma and louise one since it's canon compliant and takes place at the end of the movie. i won't spoil the movie if you haven't seen it, but. Oof

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

pretty much everything i write has a happy ending because i'm a sap. that being said the gift fic i did for marlowe this winter is probably it, at least of the ones i've done in recent memory :)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

none (yet)!

9. Do you write smut?

................ :)

10. Do you write crossovers?

i do, but not as a rule. the enterprise/mash crossover i did was really fun though

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, but i did have one turned into a podfic a couple years ago!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

there have been attempts. the attempts have not yet been successful. LOL

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Do I Even Need To Say It. well i will. its beejhawk of course.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i have a houlifield one cooking but i Cannotttt get the ball rolling .... also have worries about a beejhawk one i have planned because it will have to be loooong and probably involve really detailed rewrites of canon. Oh well

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think i have a good handle on capturing characters' specific dialogue styles :)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

description!!! i have a vision of how things will play out in my head but i can't get it onto paper in a way that flows.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

i do not speak any language besides english (yet....learning spanish! slowly!), so i don't want to stick in anything beyond like .. single words, since i'm sure to get it wrong </3

19. First fandom you wrote for?

when i was like 12 i wrote hunger games fic LOL but my first published fic was ... pacific rim i think. its since been orphaned but its out there somewhere

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

oh man. hard to pick. unfortunately i usually start disliking what i've published pretty soon after its out in the world ... :( i think i'll say the Lathe au -- even though there's plenty in it i would improve on (or try to) if writing it again, i'm proud of a decent amount of the writing, and moreso proud of the fact that i managed to finish it and make it (mostly) coherent -- hooray for making something novella length for once !!

tagging: aaaahhh ummm @amrv-5 @fieryphrazes @nedlittle @pomegranate ... i think thats all my mutuals on here who write fic (that i know of). anyone else free to steal this from me <3

[hawkesque]

happy it's spring, sir!

[hawkesque]

- @hawkesque