colonoscopys

[colonoscopys]

Another day of being a sweetiepie. Just clocked in

[colonoscopys]

I really, really don't like asking for help. It is, information, a fundamental part of who I am.

Yesterday was the anniversary of my stage 4 cancer diagnosis. My insurance has given me some trouble in the last year. I've spent 8 months trying to appeal their denial of the lab work that helped determine my cancer was stage 4. When every treatment costs a quarter of a million dollars, the financial strain increases. I'm staring at $9k in medical debt coming at me like a freight train, due to hit me by the end of this month.

I know the world is going crazy, and things are more expensive than ever, but if you could share this or even possibly donate, I can't express how much I would appreciate it

GoFundMe

my Ko-Fi

❤️💛🤍(these are the head and neck cancer colors)♥️💛🤍

[colonoscopys]

the choice for buck to stand in the road while eddie drives away is so. he's been here before he could've probably saved himself an ounce of heartbreak by saying goodbye to eddie with the rest of the team, or driving in the opposite direction as eddie drives away, or at least turning towards his car as eddie drives off. but he's committed to loving someone until the very last second, and its almost like he can't help it. what a fucking character

[colonoscopys]

also gonna say something controversial but if buck started crashing out like he did during the lawsuit like i wouldn't even be mad. i honestly expect the woobification of his ass over on ao3. because if that were me i don't even know what i would do like i can't even put into words the havoc i would wreak on los angeles if i lost my boyfriend, best friend, and my sister in the span of like three weeks

[colonoscopys]

absolutely amazed at evan buckley's will to live. like i am aware it is very little, but the fact that this man has been in this situation at least 4 other times and his sister is about to get kidnapped, his will to live is like. abnormally high to keep being depleted like this

[colonoscopys]

Lisa Haydon as Vijayalakshmi in Queen (2014)

[colonoscopys]

mp3 to powder converter im gonna need to snort the song

[colonoscopys]

ya gotta stop caring what people think and start being extremely weird. but never cruel. i think that might save you

[colonoscopys]

hey sexy what time do you plan on being done grieving

[colonoscopys]

if anyone ever wonders if it gets better for gay people one day you will see your ex middle school best friend who made you realize you're gay standing on the platform of a random train station as you look out the window in a city a 12 hour flight away from your hometown.

[colonoscopys]

[colonoscopys]

if you start reading books again. you will feel at least a little better. I promise

[colonoscopys]

what are you waiting for? someone to grant you permission? the perfect and permanent emotion? a shooting star to magic away every problem you have or ever have had? alright, wait away then. but no one is going to live your life for you while you wait to become someone else

[colonoscopys]

The Sound of Music (1965) dir. Robert Wise

[colonoscopys]

there's something compelling to me about the fact that sometimes leaving a blade or bullet inside the wound it made is the only way to prevent you from bleeding to death. something about the symbolism of it. when the thing designed and intended to kill you is the only thing keeping you alive.

[colonoscopys]

thinking about how orpheus turning to look back at eurydice isn’t a sign of mortal frailness but a sign of love

[colonoscopys]

fascinating how grief makes you miss people who suck