#how has no one said anything yet?
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Can we talk about this please?
#gravity falls#stan pines#stanley pines#same coin theory#same coin#thisisnotawebsitedotcom#bill cipher#like what?#how has no one said anything yet?#fake#edit#sorry not sorry#mwehhehe
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went to disney, snagged photos with the gays, covered my face because i actually donāt like how i look in them ( iām one of those autistics who canāt smile to save their life plus i was trying not to die of gay panic over logan and joy over wade)
(rambles in the tags my bad)
#poolverine#marvel#deadpool#mcu#deadpool x wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#disneyland#disney parks#storytime with deadpool#wolverine#wade wilson#logan howlett#for wade i was like āwadeeee can we get a pictureā and he said āsure thingš¤ā#and for logan i was like#hetyyy wolvie can we get photo#and he was like all grumpy and borderline growling āsure why notā¦ but your in deadpool merch.ā#(my tank top has wade on a unicorn piƱata i got it last year during pride month at walmart )#practically in my ear cuz of how close we where#and i said āwell i donāt have anything of you yetā#which is true i donāt have any just logie shirts yet#just wade#and then one of both wade and logan#and then he said bye and walked away#i watched all four shows for the day and in one of them i was like byyeeee wadeeee and insync i repeated bye when he said bye to me#i love them and i miss them#top ten reasons why cast members need to be payed more#also he mentioned once upon a deadpoolā¦ peak#owen rambles
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Every morning Dad got up early and made breakfast for her. If it was the dead of winter he pulled Momās car up to the front of the house, cleared off the snow, and turned on the heater for her. Every night after work Dad had a cocktail with Mom and they chatted about the events of the day. We went to family gatherings, where Dad was always well liked and lively. He was a great dadāvery loving and attentive. He doted on my mother and was very much in love with her. I never heard him use profanity or witnessed him losing his temper. He never raised a hand to us kids when we didnāt deserve itāand there were plenty of times we did deserve it and didnāt get it.
~ Michael Sobel (Sobel's son)
#We Who Are Alive and Remain: Untold Stories from the Band of Brothers#band of brothers#herbert sobel#two things: first of all i am always so baffled that apparently it's not perfectly obvious/#/perfectly shown in the show that sobel made easy company into what it became. this tightknit more closer than brothers unit#to me the 'sobel got short-end of a stick' and wasn't portrayed how he was complaining has always seemed ludicrous#secondly: everything sobel's family said and complained about - i am kind of side-eyeing#sorry but sobel was for years in VA assisted-living facility. michael himself said that the living conditions there were horrible#yet none of them did anything to move him somewhere better? to be there more often so that they would have known when he died and be there#when he was cremated?#sounds to me that the fuss they made about how sobel was portrayed in the show/book was perhaps to do with their own guilt#anyway. may sobel rest in peace and we all know he is one the greater reasons why the easy company was so damn magnificent
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something Iāve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I donāt think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldnāt have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasnāt because he didnāt feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone elseās. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldnāt allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasnāt, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isnāt immune to feeling despair, heās just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think thatās why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous āoh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind itā or āhe can do better than that. heās so weakā or ācome on, thereās no way heād fall into despair, heās the Ultimate Hope!ā This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didnāt feel despair the same way ānormal peopleā did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasnāt doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he justā¦ was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more āgung-hoā about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junkoās unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesnāt all rest on Makoto, heās just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, itās clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.
āButā¦ this world is so huge, and weāre so small. What can we doā¦? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!ā
#makoto naegi#Danganronpa character analysis#Danganronpa#danganronpa thh#danganronpa future arc#I fucking love Makoto Naegi man.#I think thereās a fine line of nuance to Makoto thatās easy to miss bc he doesnāt really make it known#heās not a pushover and heās not overpowered. heās a people pleaser but he will say what needs to be said#heās an immovable object and the exact opposite of Junko but heās also just a normal guy whoās optimistic and (un)lucky#he isnāt invincible but he has immense power to his words the same way Junko did#if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. heās compassionate to some of the worst people in the world.#he was even conpassionatr to an extent to Junko. he didnt want her to kill herself despite everything sheās done#and he still acknowledges that for years she was a classmate and friend.#I do think the more he learned abt what she did the more heās come to actually hate her though#post the first game he always refers to her without a suffix to her name which is one of the most subtle rude things you can do#it means you have zero respect for the person youāre referring to#and he speaks about her with some venom he doesnāt use for anyone else in the future arc#heās not incapable of feeling negative emotions#I really liked the future arc scene bc it showed that Makoto DID experience enough despair to have overcome him if he didnāt refuse#and that it still affects him deeply. people treat him like heās either this perfect ideal Chad or this baby chick whoās so delicate#and no one really focuses on how makoto shoulders so much and yet is still vulnerable.#honestly that guy was DUE for a mental breakdown even without the tape. it would have happened eventually#I actually wrote one based on him finally hitting a breaking point after giving so much of himself away and keeping nothing for himself#that his issues that he shoves down constantly finally canāt be held down anymore. Hajime helps him bc he knows how that feels#it was a LONG time ago that I wrote that but honestly if I can remember where i was going w it I might finish it#it was initially an rp but I could make it a fic#anyway. the point is Makoto is SO much more complex than people give him credit for#the most fundamental thing about him is that heās normal and thatās ok! thatās what helps him rise!
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wanted to say I appreciate your nuanced takes on MW and especially Curly. i don't get the claim that the fandom is full of Curly apologists when majority (esp yt and tiktok) say he's worse than Jimmy. Yes there's commentary about bro culture defending people, he def messed up in trying to placate Jimmy (tbh "we'll fix this" sounded more like trying to keep someone prone to outbursts like Jim calm and not hurt Anya/himself) but I don't think he did nothing to help Anya, since she continued to confide in him and he had less than a week to resolve it before the crash (I also don't get everyone saying he knew for ages when it seems like Anya told him that same week). I get Jimmy's a pos but saying stuff like Curly should've known he'd crash the ship or that Jim had a criminal record he ignored, reducing them to obviously horrible villain and willfully ignorant sidekick feels like a disservice to the game. If your best friend turned out to be horrible, what would you do in a confined space in the span of a few days to respond? I'd say some of the horror comes from trying to do good but ultimately failing, Curly's state after the crash is meant to be tragic horror not revenge/punishment
Thank you and this is what I want to get across.
A lot of information we have to supplement when it comes to how long things have been happening on this current ship. I think people try to add on to the horror and negligence by making things more obvious so it can feel like it was easier to avoid when, true to life, its not. Jimmy clearly didn't deserve or appreciate what Curly did for him in getting him the job, but do you think if Jimmy was that big of a menace on Earth he would've given him a position where he could have that level of power over people's lives? There's something in the fact he specifically chose to pick a position so close to himself where he could watch Jimmy.
I hate the bro code argument because that is a whole can of worms people really don't get. That sort of mentality is born from the general respect and preference of male matter over female ones. Curly is clearly not that guy, he is absent minded about the issue and inadvertently dismissive but he clearly believes Anya, he just can't understand what she's going through. It's an onslaught of information that no one really reacts right to. Additonally, the entire discussion of her assualt plays to heavy into the idea that there is fault outside of the perpertratior when it comes to SA. It's too close if she only did this or if Curly had protected her better but the fact of the matter is Jimmy did what he did. He did it before any of the conversations with Anya about it and it's why her behavior seemed to change so drastically in those last two days.
He has other conflicting thought and while his role as a Captain should've taken over, people act like it's not a very human thing to have such a toxic presence cloud your judgement. It is never easy to separate friend from coworker once that connection is formed, you want to help them, especially if they were friend first and for a long while like in this case. It's not right, but people act like it would be easy when the game clearly points out that no choice is easy to make, especially when you have to make it for more than one person. You have the weigh the consequences, look at all the options and make a plan. People can headcanon and decide how long things where happening, but if we look at what we were presented through the characters eyes, the only person given time to do that was Jimmy.
He waited two months after the crash to appoint himself Captain. Every time a problem was brought up he immediately took action and refused to sit on it and find a better solution. I think it's important to look at the warped way Jimmy takes initiative where Curly didn't as it works as a good contrast of why you don't just run in to "fix" things. The quickest and easiest option may not be the safest or most beneficial. I think some thoughts on the game suffer from the black and white thinking the game doesn't operate on along with us being voyeurs. We see what exactly led to what but the characters don't. They don't have the hindsight and foresight we do and even ours is scrambled by the non-linear story telling.
Like it's hard to talk abuou those grey zones without sounding like an apologist because you're explaining why taking responsibility isn't easy. It's not and it's weird to act like it would be in a scenerio that led up to the events of the game knowing what we know. We see all these characters in such isolated moments with various things before, in between, after and even during we aren't privy too. The idea that Jimmy is worse than Curly heavily banks on the words Jimmy was saying to Jimmy before he crashed the ship. That whatever happened on the ship was his responsibility to bare, which is true due to his position. But, are they not still not responsible for taking the actions Curly then must bare?
Like i feel like people think that these are situation that become easier with age or when you are in a postion of authority and they aren't. You don't lose your biases or gain some sudden knowledge that makes it easier. It just becomes more tiring as you keep dealing with it. I would be first in line to say Curly fucked up and should've done more but the idea he knew how bad it could get or he really saw the worst in the people around him and ignored it pretty much ignores a huge aspect of his character and the game.
#i do believe Anya was a victum to Jimmy more than once before the crash but the game plays wit the sort of fear of waiting and stagnation#i believe the reason she decided to tell him was becasuse she finally broke down and tested to see if she was pregnant after one too many#signs and its why she went to hide the gun because she knew now that there was proof of what Jimmy did and was he would do anything to#cover it up and while she also didn't want the baby there was no sure fire way to safely induce a miscarriage or abortion cause shes smart#enough to know that hence her reading the illusion of choice and taking measures to protect herself#but in the hypothetical it was a one time occurence I think Jimmy would act like one single mistake shouldn't define him and Anya thinks#that if she did something sooner or said something sooner than she or Curly could've stopped all of it but that the hard thing taking actio#its so hard to be preventative to a person like they also have the autonomy to do things and no one on the ship is okay with actively takin#that away outside of Jimmy that its just a delicate issue and people act like it was a conscious choice not to help when he just helped#wrong he did wrong by not immediately punishing Jimmy but at the same time did he even fully get it yet? Jimmy immediately got into his hea#after like the sound design right before he confront him is telling like every track sort of gives you the feeling of the characters where#we cant see their thoughts because again the only two characters pov we get are Jimmy's and Curly's and even then we only get Curly's thru#the responsibilites he has to take like he is always tasked with something because thats his role but we rarely see him do something off hi#own volition cause hes a metaphorical cog in many of the machines the games comments on but he's not actively pulling a switch#also i think people latch on to the we can both be heros things too much when analyzing Curly because Curly very much is not happy being th#leader and current āheroā of the Tulpar he just wants out in a way that doesn't hurt and while he is still responsible for not doing more#the idea he could've easily nipped this in the butt acts like Jimmy was not a beast of his own and that he made Jimmy into the person he wa#vs the fact that Jimmy is a person on his own right that makes these choices others are forced to take responsibility for when he simply c#couldve not done evil shit like at the end of the day Curly is not perfect but not nearly or remotely as bad as Jimmy because for that hed#have to not care hed have to not have tried hed have to not try to take responsibility and he did just not in the right way but thats#subjective to the person and you can only realize you did fuck up after the results are before you and its tragic like this game is a#a tragedy no matter how you try and spin it. There's lessosn to be learnt but at the end of the day it telling the worst moments of peoples#lives and the certain inevitabilities that come with it#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse anya#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,
if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."
i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,
i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ŹāæŹ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason
#crazy that the mindset some people on here have is that theyre the only ones allowed to post their opinions#ive repeated this a lot on this blog but i rlly think people forget that the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person#if ur harassing people and publicly making fun of them then ur just as bad as any real life bully#that shit isnt as funny or harmless as u like to pretend it is#not once have i ever targetted anyone or went on someones blog to harass them over my opinion#yet people think its fine to do the same to me and treat it as if its like. revenge or something#like ? me saying 'i dont like toxic yaoi' is not equivalent to someone going on someone elses page and going 'how tf do u like toxic yaoi'#I DONT CARE !! all ive ever done is sit in my own little bubble and had opinions and that makes people mad#honestly though the people who will publicly talk and post abt it are significantly meaner#and i want to act like im not bothered by it because i know most of them r just angry that someone has a different opinion#and they want all their followers to bandwagon off of them (idk why maybe for validation or whatever-same reasons anyone would bully)#but seriously if u actually do think that something i said was out of line and crossed thise boundaries- just fucking tell me ?#im a person bro. ur solution to disagreeing with me shouldnt be 'lol im gonna post abt this and make everyone harass them'#have a conversation with me dude i dont bite ? if u cant talk to me like a person then just dont fucking say anything wtf#its so cowardly to be like 'well no i didnt wanna say anything to u cuz i didnt wanna be rude.. so instead i publicly made fun of u!'#LIKE WHATTTT STOPPPPP </3333#ok anyway this post wasnt supposed to get THAT serious.#MY POINT IS just be considerate of other people and dont base ur hatred off of assumptions#ur deflecting the blame onto someone else because u dont want to admit that ur just a fucking bully lol#being inconsiderate on here is something ive also been guilty of back when i first joined the fandom and was clueless#but grown ass adults who have been on here way longer r still doing that shit which is crazy#and i cant say anything because they have so much leverage over me and idk if its on purpose or if they dont even realize#ok im putting fandom tags cuz i want people to see this sorry. this is my one post thats actually targetted but its at a lot of people#so if u look at this and think 'hey i do that' pls evaluate urself<3#i mean its also targetted at everyone who does this anonomously so i dont know who it is OKOK IM DONE BYE SORRY HOPE THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE#watch nobody read this fr#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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oh so alisaieās exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock
#say one thing wrong to me and you will have a wonderful few days with the rock#if angry silly girls have 100 fans etc if they have 0 fans i have died#sorry i saw a YouTube meme i vehemently disliked on principle and got mad at the only child behavior-#kipspeak#she is just short tempered and uses anger to mask other more āshamefulā emotions!!! alphy did the same thing with just deciding not#to express them. which is still not good and I think why he breaks and ends up teary so often now#this shortness does not translate to actually being mean to people. she only uses being mean as a shield for herself and being snarky#Is just fun for her. itās fun for Me. you have to inconsequentually tease people or theyāll never learn to laugh at themselves#the twins and thancred š«µ do this thing where they have big emotions but they donāt want anyone to SEE they have big weird emotions#so alphy pretends he doesnāt have them under a veneer of dignity and alisaie pretends the emotions are Something Else. thancred is#just so emotionally constipated he has trouble expressing anything. heās got enough baggage for a flatbed#anyways. alisaie is such a compassionate and kind girl and she learned how to make snarky jokes and went ham. and she hates appearing sad o#weak or vulnerable so she blocks it off with an unapproachable emotion so no one pities her and they maybe get on with the plot#it is in fact also great at getting ppl to move away from the sad or embarrassing topic. even if the tradeoff is being more offputting#she would never (grabs youtube meme) she would never seriously bully her brother. this is sibling ribbing only. Cain instinct#just leave her be she is learning how to snark humor and she loves it she loves being sharp. alphy has wit he just keeps it close#my brother didnāt learn how to tell or receive a joke until he was 14 he took everything so seriously. he can do it now though and heās#HILARIOUS. Donāt tell him I said that. my man knows exactly where the funny points are even if he hasnāt learned when to stop yet#too many tags. Whatever. jokey snark alisaie who sometimes compliments is happy alisaie grouchy snappy angry alisaie is way too stressed#very easy way to tell between the two. even alphy can tell between the two I believe! He tends to rib back in protest if theyāre having fun#and try to stop her if theyāre not having fun. case in point āwhat is that supposed to mean?!ā vs āalisaie ryne was only trying to help.ā#I know theyāre twins but thatās such an intensely older sibling thing to do that it reels me#LONG TAGS AND THREE EDITS TO ADD ON SHORT I resent this stereotype taken too far into ooc behavior. it happened with nya#It will happen again and as a postscript let me regale you with Things U Can Notice About Character Motivation and Actionsā#Iām not done let me s#she and raha are friends now I decree. āhaha you like meā SPUTTERING PROTEST FROM BOTH
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if anyone does anything that makes me feel even remotely out of control it changes my brain chemistry about them forever even if I know they mean well and want so badly for things to go back to the way they used to but they can never go back and I hate myself for that
#ill literally ruin every friendship ig#does anyone else experience this bc itās actually so fucked up I hate it sm#and like im good at pretending itās ok so even if the other person goes back to normal I never am#itās like the grudge just stays forever no matter how much forgiveness I logical have#and the association w the person just feels sickening even if they r so full of love#and I think that talking about it will help but it just digs a further hole#like it always get resolved on their end but somehow I feel worse#Iāve lost some of the greatest ppl bc of this :(#like ppl make mistakes#and sometimes itās not even a mistake or anything wrong im just insane#and then I feel I donāt treat them as well but not in ways they would notice ugh idk im actually fkd#hence I mostly cut them off bc I donāt wanna treat them badly they donāt deserve it#but im also sick of cutting ppl pff who r genuinely so nice and made one off comment#bc Iāve made plenty of off comments im sure bc im human and yet other ppl r ok w it like y canāt I be#anyways usually the whole reason they have even said anything that has put me off them is just their reaction to me being mentally ill#so it kinda all stems from me everytim LOL yay
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Looks like that video is about a month & a half after The Trade and trevors broken ankle š£
re: this videoā¦ anon š i had suspicions but it is so much worse to have them confirmed that really was like. trevorās first Public Appearance without jamie AND post-broken ankle which is traumatic in and of itself no wonder every beat reporter was like āoh yeah trevorās just devastatedā
wouldnāt you be miserable too if your best friend just got traded and your body betrayed you and what if it was maybe all your fault!!!
#bestie thank you so much for fact-checking me ššš„°š„° i love when yāall come in my inbox & answer the questions i yell into the void of my tag#we are Suffering about trevor TOGETHER in this house. if i scrolled all the way to the bottom of my drafts i think i could find even more#heartbreaking content from before The Trade but we donāt need to suffer that much otherwise the penguin cup of tea is really irish coffee#confirms ALL of my theories about miserable trevor leaning into mason for comfort because in some universes thatās THEIR boyfriend who left#liv in the replies#trevor zegras#mason mctavish#need to go lay on the floor about this one folks. do you think trevor said he would only do it if mason came if he could sit next to mason#right at the end where people were rushing out not stopping to talk tired by the end of the line and not even thinking just to guarantee he#wouldnāt get asked anything because he still has a hard time believing itās real he keeps thinking jamieāll be there especially w/his ankle#iām sure he doesnāt have a great time with stairs so he probably will nap on the couch sometimes and that moment right when he first wakes#up to the bang of the door and he doesnāt quite know heās awake yet and he thinks itās jamie coming in? heartbreaker right there bud. sorry#ALSO because I canāt say it and leave it alone I almost put that last bit strictly in the tags but like. thereās gotta be some part of#trevor that knows itās nothing to do with him but still naĆÆvely believes that if heād maybe been there if he hadnāt been injured things#could have worked out differently if heād been there and itās his fault his ankle broke and do you remember all the interviews jamie gave#about how you never think youāll be traded and how strange it is to be moving and now i need you to take that naĆÆvetĆ© times 1000 for trevor#who of course he never even pictures jamie leaving they were building the core together!!! why would they ever get rid of him!! and if only#trevor had been there to show how important jamie was. what would he have done? literally nothing but that does not stop the emotional guil#from enveloping trevor like a rain cloud and making him sit in masonās apartment with ice cream bowl in hand. holistic treatment l
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i know that graduating one semester later is not that big of a deal and i haven't made any plans about what comes next so it doesnt even make a difference. so why does it feel just so terrible
#there are no chances of us finishing the thesis on time#i mean the presentations are only until the 24th so we should have already be done with it#but miss girlie said one week ago that she'd add her parts of the introduction and today i asked her and she said she'll do it tomorrow#and then there's the results and conclusions which i havent even started yet cause im a complete idiot and ive wasted so much time#and i very much doubt she has written anything about them yet#which okay i understand that she is working and i know working ĻĪµĪ¶ĪæĪ½ isnt easy#but she could have at least done a copy paste#whatever#i need to at least focus on the exam#i only have a few more slides but i started feeling a panic attack coming so i took a break to try and stop it from coming#if anyone knows how to stop that little voice in your head that always tells you how big of a failure you are please lmk š#okay gonna go finish#then I'll cook lunch and maybe if i spend the rest of the day writing we'll make some progress#maybe we can ask for an extension? idk. i doubt she has even bothered calling the professor even tho she said she was going to#whatever im so done with everything#not looking for pity just needed to complain about it#which seems to be the only thing ive been doing sooo yup#okay going fr now#jo says stuff#university update
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casey also talks about sepang 2015 what do you think of that
oh in that podcast? uh... lemme listen again...
yeah idk it's not really anything new I'd say? he's said basically all the same stuff in more interesting and extensive ways elsewhere. I think casey inevitably has a very 'well feuding is bad and helps nobody' point of view, has expressed that before in the past, does it here again, and he's also drawn a parallel between himself and marc on several occasions. which... well, of course there's similarities in terms of public discourse or whatever, but the parallel really falls apart whenever casey argues the feuds cost valentino. like, I do think it's sometimes important to just. keep in mind. it's interesting that casey draws this comparison in his mind but that doesn't necessarily means he's right about this. I'm not sure how you'd argue that starting a feud with casey cost valentino anything competitively? you can argue it didn't help him I guess, and then we can have a debate about the ins and outs of the 2008 season. we can also have an argument that in a hypothetical world where casey isn't ill in 2009, valentino doesn't break his leg and casey isn't on a piece of junk in 2010, and valentino isn't on a piece of junk in 2011-12, then actually maybe valentino sparking open animosity with casey COULD have cost him. but we don't know that! didn't happen! I wish we could have found out, but we never got the chance! as it stands, the tally on this is pretty straightforward: casey won the title when things were reasonably civil between them in 2007, and valentino took control of the following season at the exact moment he worsened the relationship between the pair of them in 2008. obviously, it's all more complicated than that and casey would of course argue laguna didn't negatively affect his subsequent performances... but it certainly didn't help them. like, at the very worst valentino escalating tensions in 2008 is a complete net neutral. after 2009, them being bitchy to each other every other tuesday was completely competitively irrelevant beyond maybe affecting how they approached occasionally fighting for a podium position. hey, maybe casey used that feud to fire himself up through sheer spite throughout the later stages of his career, but that doesn't actually support his anti-feud stance - it's basically the exact same thing as what valentino does. they're both quite similar in that regard! always so hungry to prove a point, to show how someone else is wrong. kinda half the point with this feuding business is to get yourself going, get yourself motivated, yeah. he straight up openly admits to using yamaha's repeat rejection of him as a way of giving himself motivation, and at the end of the day that's really not all that different?
anyway, what else does casey say... oh yeah, that him and the other aliens were already kinda prepared for this and had learned vale's tricks. that valentino had only been able to get into the minds of the previous generation. welllllll *wiggles hand* sure, I mean, he did clearly have to change his approach... he couldn't just use the exact same playbook to get to them, either on-track or off-track. but that's why he did change up the playbook... again, whether you want to believe valentino won his final two titles 'in the head' rather than just through pure pace kinda depends on how you assess the evidence, but it is at the very least a debate. and, y'know, it's always worth remembering that valentino's most important mind games with casey didn't happen in a press conference... it was on the track. and the on-track stuff really is just embedded in how valentino approaches winning. speaking of aliens, this is what dani and jorge have said:
like, valentino's entire approach to his riding, even to the way he's setting his bike up, is deliberately about directly fucking with you... he's not actually always trying to be faster than you as much as he's trying to give himself the tools to make your life miserable, to pressure you into mistakes, etc etc... and again, especially with casey (if anything because he was so mentally sturdy), the off-track stuff was really just window dressing. (I know they bicker a lot after 2009 but it's just so fundamentally irrelevant to actual on-track competition.) so you can be aware of those tricks, but it also doesn't necessarily help you when someone's being nasty to you on-track in a way you just fully do not enjoy. which is what it was like for casey! for casey, a lot of this comes back to the truly unpleasant context of how he was perceived by the public, how he was treated as mentally weak or 'broken' or whatever partly because he had the misfortune of coming up against a bloke who had the reputation for breaking rivals. I think it's quite natural to end up with a bit of a hardliner 'actually I've never been mentally affected by a result in my life' stance - and of course casey is a lot tougher than a lot of people give him credit for. that being said. sometimes your rivals affect you, shit happens, it's part of the game. it's fundamentally a nice idea to think that valentino's tactics weren't just morally wrong but also ineffective, which is kind of the appeal of this narrative, right? you want to believe you're above that, you want to believe you were adequately prepared and wise to valentino's tactic. it's unsurprising and understandable that casey does tend to tell the story that way, but again it's *wiggles hand* also hard to describe it as completely factual
uh. what else. oh I'm thrilled casey does canonically know valentino and marc were friends, he has said he wasn't following motogp too much during that time period so you couldn't be sure of that. does this mean anything? does it tell you anything? well, no, but it's just a pleasing thought to me. I like that. oh also 'provoking particularly aggressive riders isn't a good idea' is kinda a funny take from casey? like, he of all people would hate the idea of being cowed by someone's reputation like that... casey's right that provoking fast riders can potentially be dangerous, but y'know I do think that's probably not news to anyone almost nine years later. um. that's all I've got I think
#i will say idm getting asks like this AT ALL but i do hope that's not like. the only bit of the podcast people are paying attention to#my thing with sepang 2015 takes is that like... when's the last time anyone has said anything genuinely interesting about that event#which yes big words from the feud blogger... but in fairness a lot of the sepang 2015 stuff is from old notes. that's my excuse idc#but that's kinda the thing... i feel like i haven't really had a new original thought about the whole drama for three plus years#u do kinda run out. basically the takes say more about the person saying them than about the actual event at this point#which. yeah. casey's comments on sepang '15 are primarily interesting in what they tell you about how he feels towards valentino#mind u he's actually quite nice about valentino in this one? casey call him let's finally organise that dinner#heretic tag#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#oh casey does go on another spiel against riders who win at all costs. ships that passed in the night of feuds i always say#also he gets the age he enters the premier class at wrong. i held myself back in the last post from pointing this out for tonal reasons#but if people want my podcast hot takes. i do simply have to mention it. just to set the record straight here#'they battle for podium places after 2009' genuinely. twice. like the alien era giveth but a lot of the time it really does just taketh#somewhat ironically casey wins the duel when he's on the shitty ducati and vale wins the duel when he's on the even shittier ducati#whatever that tells you idk#casey was always promising the laguna rematch would've gone differently and I love that conceptually but also we just don't know#he was like next time I WON'T play nice and it's like?? omg what does that look like. casey what were you cooking#for ethical reasons it's probably fine but for character arc reasons it's objectively ass that casey ended up being able to do all his -#- racing in a way he was entirely comfortable with for his second title in 2011. like it's just a complete waste of a year#you have this whole thing building for four years and then 2010 comes along and it's like. well that's enough narrative intrigue now! <3#also casey/jorge are fundamentally too interesting as individuals to have had such an obscenely boring on-track rivalry and yet here we are#it KILLS me because if you rearranged it and made valentino's dogshit ducati years like. 2009 or something#and do a straight title fight between jorge and casey THEN I genuinely think it would've been way more interesting#the problem with valentino is that he is fundamentally the WORST imaginable character you could invent to be casey's foil#literally everything about valentino could have been designed to be a casey-specific nightmare#but unfortunately that also makes him objectively the most interesting rival casey could have gotten#like morally it's on the edge. but narratively? literally could not have gotten a better villain in casey's story#constantly dancing on this faustian line of having to imitate valentino to beat him while trying not to lose yourself... juicy
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This might be a hot take(?) but i do like how Eddy become more grumpy as the show went between seasons
Of course he is more mean and kinda more aggressive with his friends.
But i think it's a great way to show how trauma can affect your personality, especially when it comes to physical abuse. Not every child that suffers like that is quiet and shy, some of them can mirror the bad traits of their abuser and they're just as valid to get love and support.
#Eddy's character has to be the most interesting among all the characters i love that ugly short king so much#he does act greedy he lies and he also yells a lot but it so so normal for a kid who suffer abuse from an adult#i found so sad how ppl will tell you he is the worst of the eds just for the way he is#despite the fact he has the WORST situation between the three of them#with all this i'm not defending his behaviour! it's still wrong and he should be better than that but as i said he is a kid!!#this doesn't mean i don't love chill eddy ofc!! but i do think the latter works better for his character arc#idk if he would ever do stuff like therapy but i do think he would reach a point where he is tired of just... being angry#i do agree with the hc that he is not the type of just having one job i do think the little bastard will have multiple part time jobs#he is unable to remain in one thing and he does have curiosity for everything#but aside from all that i just like the idea of him getting away of his family. not in the sense of never speaking to them#but more like... not having to deal with them every day.#that's when i think his more chill yet cheeky self will go back to him ahaha#also he is dating double d ofc#there's no future where i don't see them together giendkdn#don't think they marry or anything. but they would grow old together and Ed lives in the basement#eene
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eldest daughter syndrome really do be kicking my ass tbh
#i just find it like so unfair yknow#im the only one who works in myhouse and full time#but i come home and the house isnt clean and i tidy up and sort everything out and tidy the kitchen anf living room after dinner and put#my sister to bed and yk if there was no one else to do these things id understand but#i have 5 brothers all of whom are adults and they dont lift a finger#its not as if any of them work bec they dont and neither does my dad#and im so so so exhausted yk? bec not everything is my job or responsibility#and i keep blaming other things for me getting sick but yknow what maybe i just dont rest enough#and the other day i was upset bec i'd had a tough day at work and i felt unwell and i cleaned up everything after dinner and my brother#said i didnt have a right to be upset bec i āchoseā this. like as if i chose to work full time nd do all the chores for a family of 9#and it just really upsets me bec no one sees an issue with it and im so mad at my mom at rhe same time#constant therapy sessions w her bec shes mad at my dad and wants someone to vent at and then he does the same abt her and my brothers#and im so tired yknow just sososos tired bec she'll complain abt how they dont do anything but then she wont ensure they do either#its just empty complaints whereas she thrust responsibility on me when i was 9 and yet my brothers are 18+ - all but one that is and they#cant even do their own laundry bec she just..... did everything for them all the time but now is mad that they cant do anything.#like yes i know my dad is a failure of a husband and a father i expected that i'll never be a good enough daughter for him and that the onl#thing he has to say about me is that im bringing shame on our family despite everything ive done but come on#im just tired and upset#its hard not to see yourself as a robot or machine when theres little room to be anything else.#and even on a day like today when i dont feel well it never stops and i just keep doing#im sad i want a hug from my gangster bf#oh god i am sorry pls do not perceive me for this#and yk what#thats why i cant stand when people are nice to me bec all i can think of is#i havent done anything to deserve this? i should have to give something in return#or if not#theres something this person must want because why else would they be nice to me when i havent done anything for them#i cannot fathom the concept that someone just wants me because its me#its literally just not possible why would anyone fo that for me
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using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, read at your own risk.
#but jesus christ coming back home while already knee deep in a suicidal episode was an awful idea#like i was maybe on the verge of improving and then i came back to all of this family bullshit#and the place as well like itās so. i donāt want to say isolated necessarily. but so much itās own little bubble#and i spent the last eight or nine years i lived here depressed and the last six suicidal#and being back here feels like the actual place is telling me to die#and i donāt think it helps that every place i go i know or know of someone who successfully committed suicide#like. oh this person drowned themself here. or that person hung themself in these woods. or several people jumped off the side of this clif#like. it all feels like reminders of my failures. and itās like. cmon. wouldnāt it be easy. all you need to do is jump. is slit your throat#is find a decent piece of rope. idk. but everything is so much and i just want it to stop and it feels like the ground itself#is giving me a way to do it.#i genuinely feel like iām like 16 or 17 again. and everything that isnāt within these hills#feels like a haze and not actually real. like the concept of buxton doesnāt actually exist and my friends do not actually exist and nothing#actually exists except the place iām in and my family and the pub#i think going back to work at the pub was a mistake; i think itās making this worse. especially because itās henryās dadās local#and where henryās wake was. and nothing there has changed at all. itās like the whole last year never happened.#and i only need to get through two more days but it feels like an impossible task and i keep thinking being back in york will fix me but id#if that even true like. i was suicidal before i left. and itās going to be intense and stressful and then i have to leave again.#come back here and do three full weeks of this all over again. i havenāt even managed two yet this time around. and i feel like#such a failure and such a drain on my friends (and on one in particular) because it just#is so much and has been so long and everything is complicated and awful and i think if i hadnāt come back iād be in a normal mental state#by now. thatās the worst fucking part. and also the whole thing of i know how to be suicidal here. i know how to not give a shit about#living here. i know how to do that. but ive never had to try before. like im trying to improve and im trying to hold on and hold off the#urges to kill myself or self harm or whatever because i said i would and because i KNOW it can be better than this and bc i love my friends#and they love me and i donāt want to upset them or make them anxious or anything like that and kat made me promise to try and im trying so#fucking hard and it feels like itās not even worth the effort because itās so much effort and everything is so overwhelming and awful and i#hate the way my family interacts and i just want everything to stop and idc if suicide is the cowards way out or selfish or whatever#bullshit people say it feels like the only option i can actually withstand because everything is so much pain and so much effort and so muc#everything and i canāt deal with it anymore. and also i forgot just how much i have to fucking mask in front of my parents and especially m#father and itās so exhausting and i canāt sleep and thereās so much yelling and i just need it all to stop#iāve had major breakdowns the last 3 nights about wanting to die so much & trying so hard to not let myself & idk how much longer i can tak
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#some of the choices for this festival run are...#only imagine Louis singing Copy of a Copy at a festival#- though no one could find the song afterwards either -#just compare that to Night Changes... WDBHG... DMD#artists sing four covers when they don't have good or suitable songs of their own. but he does?#what's the point of doing festivals if it's not to showcase YOUR music. who YOU are as an artist#and wasn't that his whole thing during promo for FitF?#GP has and continues to associate him AND HIS MUSIC to 1D... the setlist does not counter that?#these covers are nowhere near as good as his own songs#and yet#more could be said. like how there's no strategy at all for anything beyond the established fanbase#though honestly even thinking of fans who've been following him throughout tour...#but#seems like Louis' career will always be an exercise in wasted potential and opportunities. unfortunately
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you seriously cannot make this up: you have people reblogging fic featuring a racist character as half of the main ship in the morning then trying to give morality lessons in the evening by calling others homophobic over a joke.
THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE, BABES.
#the finger keeps being pointed at buddie shippers like the other side is not doing anything wrong at all when there is SO MUCH that#could be said about them. and it's all because people want to seem like their choice of preferred ship at the moment is rational and correc#and the thing is it would be so much more honest to say that at the moment you are more compelled by the other ship. some of us may not#understand it and may judge it because HOW. but in the end it's your right!! it's ok!!! you ship what you ship. but to make it seem like#this is the correct choice by saying that it's just the buddie fans turning you off the ship or being crazy... that's stupid. then you also#wouldn't be invested in the other ship because it also has crazy fans and people being terrible.#and like for years and years the buddie side of fandom has had to self-reflect A LOT. and sure not everyone has done it but so many of us#have refused to let others get away with things simply because their otp was ours too. we shamed racists during the chimney punch debacle.#we have called people out on gross top/bottom discourse. we have acknowledged that there are sides to the fandom that have been wrong.#but i have yet to see one single b*ckt*mmy fan engage in public self-reflection about their side of the fandom.#and if the problem was simply with the fans around others well okay whatever you'd be doing a bad job. but to actively also engage in the#bad behavior and then call out others. PLEASE KSKSKSKSKSKSKSK like c'mon!!!!!!!#and at this point words like homophobia keep being thrown around and it's actually vile when they refer to things that are VERY MUCH not#rooted in homophobia at all. twice now a joke that was NOT homophobic has been called homophobic and i think people should reflect#on why they need things to be homophobia so bad when they don't agree with them.#so yeah anyways THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE#discourse#.text
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