Note
wanted to say I appreciate your nuanced takes on MW and especially Curly. i don't get the claim that the fandom is full of Curly apologists when majority (esp yt and tiktok) say he's worse than Jimmy. Yes there's commentary about bro culture defending people, he def messed up in trying to placate Jimmy (tbh "we'll fix this" sounded more like trying to keep someone prone to outbursts like Jim calm and not hurt Anya/himself) but I don't think he did nothing to help Anya, since she continued to confide in him and he had less than a week to resolve it before the crash (I also don't get everyone saying he knew for ages when it seems like Anya told him that same week). I get Jimmy's a pos but saying stuff like Curly should've known he'd crash the ship or that Jim had a criminal record he ignored, reducing them to obviously horrible villain and willfully ignorant sidekick feels like a disservice to the game. If your best friend turned out to be horrible, what would you do in a confined space in the span of a few days to respond? I'd say some of the horror comes from trying to do good but ultimately failing, Curly's state after the crash is meant to be tragic horror not revenge/punishment
Thank you and this is what I want to get across.
A lot of information we have to supplement when it comes to how long things have been happening on this current ship. I think people try to add on to the horror and negligence by making things more obvious so it can feel like it was easier to avoid when, true to life, its not. Jimmy clearly didn't deserve or appreciate what Curly did for him in getting him the job, but do you think if Jimmy was that big of a menace on Earth he would've given him a position where he could have that level of power over people's lives? There's something in the fact he specifically chose to pick a position so close to himself where he could watch Jimmy.
I hate the bro code argument because that is a whole can of worms people really don't get. That sort of mentality is born from the general respect and preference of male matter over female ones. Curly is clearly not that guy, he is absent minded about the issue and inadvertently dismissive but he clearly believes Anya, he just can't understand what she's going through. It's an onslaught of information that no one really reacts right to. Additonally, the entire discussion of her assualt plays to heavy into the idea that there is fault outside of the perpertratior when it comes to SA. It's too close if she only did this or if Curly had protected her better but the fact of the matter is Jimmy did what he did. He did it before any of the conversations with Anya about it and it's why her behavior seemed to change so drastically in those last two days.
He has other conflicting thought and while his role as a Captain should've taken over, people act like it's not a very human thing to have such a toxic presence cloud your judgement. It is never easy to separate friend from coworker once that connection is formed, you want to help them, especially if they were friend first and for a long while like in this case. It's not right, but people act like it would be easy when the game clearly points out that no choice is easy to make, especially when you have to make it for more than one person. You have the weigh the consequences, look at all the options and make a plan. People can headcanon and decide how long things where happening, but if we look at what we were presented through the characters eyes, the only person given time to do that was Jimmy.
He waited two months after the crash to appoint himself Captain. Every time a problem was brought up he immediately took action and refused to sit on it and find a better solution. I think it's important to look at the warped way Jimmy takes initiative where Curly didn't as it works as a good contrast of why you don't just run in to "fix" things. The quickest and easiest option may not be the safest or most beneficial. I think some thoughts on the game suffer from the black and white thinking the game doesn't operate on along with us being voyeurs. We see what exactly led to what but the characters don't. They don't have the hindsight and foresight we do and even ours is scrambled by the non-linear story telling.
Like it's hard to talk abuou those grey zones without sounding like an apologist because you're explaining why taking responsibility isn't easy. It's not and it's weird to act like it would be in a scenerio that led up to the events of the game knowing what we know. We see all these characters in such isolated moments with various things before, in between, after and even during we aren't privy too. The idea that Jimmy is worse than Curly heavily banks on the words Jimmy was saying to Jimmy before he crashed the ship. That whatever happened on the ship was his responsibility to bare, which is true due to his position. But, are they not still not responsible for taking the actions Curly then must bare?
Like i feel like people think that these are situation that become easier with age or when you are in a postion of authority and they aren't. You don't lose your biases or gain some sudden knowledge that makes it easier. It just becomes more tiring as you keep dealing with it. I would be first in line to say Curly fucked up and should've done more but the idea he knew how bad it could get or he really saw the worst in the people around him and ignored it pretty much ignores a huge aspect of his character and the game.
#i do believe Anya was a victum to Jimmy more than once before the crash but the game plays wit the sort of fear of waiting and stagnation#i believe the reason she decided to tell him was becasuse she finally broke down and tested to see if she was pregnant after one too many#signs and its why she went to hide the gun because she knew now that there was proof of what Jimmy did and was he would do anything to#cover it up and while she also didn't want the baby there was no sure fire way to safely induce a miscarriage or abortion cause shes smart#enough to know that hence her reading the illusion of choice and taking measures to protect herself#but in the hypothetical it was a one time occurence I think Jimmy would act like one single mistake shouldn't define him and Anya thinks#that if she did something sooner or said something sooner than she or Curly could've stopped all of it but that the hard thing taking actio#its so hard to be preventative to a person like they also have the autonomy to do things and no one on the ship is okay with actively takin#that away outside of Jimmy that its just a delicate issue and people act like it was a conscious choice not to help when he just helped#wrong he did wrong by not immediately punishing Jimmy but at the same time did he even fully get it yet? Jimmy immediately got into his hea#after like the sound design right before he confront him is telling like every track sort of gives you the feeling of the characters where#we cant see their thoughts because again the only two characters pov we get are Jimmy's and Curly's and even then we only get Curly's thru#the responsibilites he has to take like he is always tasked with something because thats his role but we rarely see him do something off hi#own volition cause hes a metaphorical cog in many of the machines the games comments on but he's not actively pulling a switch#also i think people latch on to the we can both be heros things too much when analyzing Curly because Curly very much is not happy being th#leader and current “hero” of the Tulpar he just wants out in a way that doesn't hurt and while he is still responsible for not doing more#the idea he could've easily nipped this in the butt acts like Jimmy was not a beast of his own and that he made Jimmy into the person he wa#vs the fact that Jimmy is a person on his own right that makes these choices others are forced to take responsibility for when he simply c#couldve not done evil shit like at the end of the day Curly is not perfect but not nearly or remotely as bad as Jimmy because for that hed#have to not care hed have to not have tried hed have to not try to take responsibility and he did just not in the right way but thats#subjective to the person and you can only realize you did fuck up after the results are before you and its tragic like this game is a#a tragedy no matter how you try and spin it. There's lessosn to be learnt but at the end of the day it telling the worst moments of peoples#lives and the certain inevitabilities that come with it#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse anya#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
No but the way Pucci being Christian is so intertwined with his motives as a villain... He’s every story I’ve heard of the Christian convert who suffered something horrible and senseless, and after drifting through life lost and without a sense of purpose, found hope by believing in God. He’s so many stories of tragedy I’ve seen where people managed to cope by finding peace in the idea that this is all part of God’s divine, incomprehensible plan; It’s fate, it’s his will, and by accepting it they can move on. It’s for a reason, even if they’ll never understand what they’re looking at.
That’s what Heaven is for Pucci; His core trauma is a series of horrific coincidences with no rhyme or reason, and so he latches onto the idea that it’s all part of “his” plan, God and/or DIO’s. That’s why he finds comfort in knowing the future, knowing it’s all in the hands of Fate and removing his own blame and agency, which is why the narrator asks the viewer to judge for ourselves who did wrong, when we see the backstory of Wes, Enrico, and Perla. Pucci made a decision and it backfired horribly, so he doesn’t want to choose anymore.
It’s the way Pucci’s desire to be the messianic hero screws him over and causes tragedy; He’s so devoted to his position as a priest that rather than sabotaging it in order to just tell Perla the truth to her face (thus breaking the rules of the confessional), Pucci relies on this roundabout method so he can have it both ways, only to cause heartbreak and death. Pucci is so desperate to save humanity to make up for his own guilt and failure that he resets the universe, making him the worst kind of evil in his brother’s eyes; One totally oblivious to its nature. Pucci begs to die a martyr from Weather Report and Emporio, rather than just dying here and now.
Ungalo and Rikiel are prepared to die for Pucci once he gives them a sense of purpose to all of the inexplicable misfortune in their lives; Versus is also emboldened by this realization, but chooses to weaponize it for himself. The sons of DIO are people who all went through misfortune their whole lives, they’re ‘children of God’ who find comfort in devoting themselves to something they can actually believe in, that they believe will take care of them in some way; Like many Christians following the path of God, believing Heaven is waiting for them at the end of the tribulation and that it will all be worth it, that it all meant something and mattered and served a cause, like them.
Pucci and the sons of DIO can no longer bear the pain and uncertainty of moving forward, so they aspire, Pucci especially, for a world where fate will move things along for them. They don’t have to take the first step, especially not Pucci, when Made in Heaven’s reset will compel him and everyone else to do what’s fated, regardless of what they try.
Pucci fears and admires the courage of the Joestars who are able to step forward and face fate, engage and grapple with it, rather than just blindly accept and surrender in despair. If Diavolo precedes Pucci as someone too resistant of fate, Pucci is the opposite; Someone too resigned to it. Unlike the Joestars who know their fate but can work with what’s written in stone to change the other details.
It’s why Pucci admires the first human to try a mushroom despite knowing it could kill them; But rather than put in the effort to get up to their level, Pucci would rather everyone stoop to his own, and claims he’s just sparing people noble yet needless pain (He’s only sparing himself by avoiding the reminder that he could and should be braver than this). He says he pities the human who tried a mushroom, adding that they were probably only motivated by hunger and desperation, and had no choice anyway.
I think Pucci is secretly envious of that courage, and that’s why he always downplays it afterwards by suggesting it’s foolishness rather than bravery. Pride, Envy, Wrath... Sloth given his despair, and a bit of Greed with the $800 dollar pants. Then there’s the BDSM vibes of Whitesnake for Lust, all that’s missing is Gluttony, which I guess the cherries and being devoured by the Green Baby account for...?
In all seriousness, Pucci wants guidance; He surrenders himself to God, follows the instructions led by DIO, and relies on Fate to tell him what to do when Made in Heaven resets the universe. Remember that time Pucci got around his brother’s Heavy Weather by removing his sight, and forcing Anasui to guide him? Yeah.
There’s a reason why Whitesnake obsesses with preserving the past, and I think part of it boils down to Pucci being afraid of its counterpart the Future; Which Made in Heaven, not entirely unlike King Crimson, allows Pucci to speed through and glimpse, to get through the worst of it ASAP and lessen the pain. He doesn’t want to accept that sometimes things just… happen.
274 notes
·
View notes
Text
Anyone else irritated by how both the lovers and haters of The Last Jedi seem to totally miss the point of the ending of Luke's storyline in that film? Haters ignore that Luke redeems himself for his mistakes and goes out with an epic final act that reaffirms the value of mythic stories and why we need heroes, and thus is an explicitly pro-Jedi moral. So Luke's whole story is about him rejecting the cynicism of old age and failure, and snaps out of that insufferable attitude that tries to paint all sides as equally bastardly. It's a story about WHY the fundamental ethos of Star Wars, the dichotomy of genuine good vs absolute evil represented by the Jedi as avatars of ultimate love, and the Sith/Snoke/Whatever as avatars of ultimate hate, is eternally relevant and something we need for spiritual nourishment during dark times. And.... the lovers ignore this too. They tend to latch onto Luke's bitter words from earlier in the movie about how the Jedi were a corrupt and hypocritical institution that needs to end. These kinds of people are passionately anti-Jedi, and LOOOOOOOOOOVE that for a few minutes, a canon SW movie was saying that they all suck. They also unironically take Kylo Ren's 'let the past die' mantra at face value and think that THIS is the moral of that movie. They look at the messages of past Star Wars with a kind of preening disgust, seeing it as childish and one-note at best, damaging and corrupting for society at large, at worst. It is what I'm going to call 'Knight Templar Syndrome.' I speculate that they think old things are automatically dumb or ignorant or worthless, and can only see it through the lens of 'how can I make this so irredeemably problematic in my brain, so that my rejection of it is therefore morally right, and makes me feel like a great person?' So of course, the Jedi as a representation of the wisdom and value of certain 'traditions' were doomed to be targeted by such transparently performative people. And for the first two hours of TLJ, these fans were having the time of their fuckin life. I am also pretty sure I've seen some posts where they take Yoda's words at the burning tree extremely literally, and think that entire scene is also about the need to destroy the past (the literal burning imagery does kinda give this impression at face-value, to be fair), and that Yoda's advice to Luke is "Move forward and never look back," when he is ACTUALLY saying "Move forward with all that you have learned, the good and bad, and make sure the good parts live on." It's little wonder then, that TLJ diehards are completely convinced that Rise of Skywalker ignored/insulted/changed everything about their darling. If they thought Last Jedi was about the need for an ideological scorched-earth, only to then watch Rise be about the reconciliation of the past with the future, then yup, their vicious reaction to it, rife with conspiracy theories, demonization of JJ and Terrio, etc. makes sense.
#star wars#star wars thoughts#jedi order#star wars sequel trilogy#the last jedi#the last jedi discourse#the rise of skywalker#rise of skywalker is a mess but its mostly thematically consistent with the other two films no matter how hard the internet claims otherwis#mustafar levels of hot take#luke skywalker the last jedi#luke skywalker's arc in the last jedi really was my favorite thing about that movie#in defense of rise of skywalker#liking rise of skywalker is considered a war crime I know but what can I say I guess I have a soft spot for the black sheeps#I'm one of those weirdos that really thinks Rise of Skywalker and Last Jedi work together better than most people think
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tale Of Two Souls Abandoned By Their Community
I noticed from the instagram account of Penumbra is showing the evolution of Sunblast and Penumbra’s relationship together. It evolves from starch archenemies to being probably the people they can most rely on especially after each of their communities basically abandons them. With Sunblast, it’s obvious that the superhero community basically treats superheroes as expendable celebrities and might seem on the surface to care about his disappearance but it’s all for show because no one cares about the fact he is alive because of how shallow and vapid the public is they latch onto the next hot shot hero. I also think that it symbolizes how Sunblast who used to be a part of the mainstream now has been abandoned by it when it’s convenient. He’s a poster mainstream hero but even then they didn’t think twice of leaving him to his wits because they wanted to move on quickly. And as a result, the superhero community in villainous represents the mainstream of people who want celebrities instead of true heroes.
It could have just left right there until we find Penumbra in the same situation. The biggest support she had was the Umbras who always believed she was looking out for them. Just like how Sunblast represented the mainstream, she represented the marginalized and was their biggest voice. That is until she injured the hero, Albedo, who turned out to be an Umbra herself and just like that the group she thought to protect turned on her due to seeing how rough she took him out. If that wasn’t enough she even got cut from her sponsorship as well which again shows to show that Penumbra has hit the same place as Sunblast did before. Even though I could always see her dad being there for her, I do think that she would feel that she would cause him to have a target as well. In the end, she went too far into her label as a villain which caused people to ostracize her because she didn’t live up to the image she was supposed to project. It shows both sides could easily turn on their protectors or trade them out when they feel they haven’t lived up to their images.
One thing that brings both of their marginalization together is Miss Heed who not only replaces Sunblast as Atreno’s new hero but also replaces Penumbra as a protector of the Umbra as well. She thus projects a (false) image of someone who wants to bring together a city that has societal issues. However, as everyone has seen, she really has no one but her own goals when it comes to superheroing. Miss Heed couldn’t give a rats butt about the city or umbras but it’s all for good publicity. Thus she represents a false sense of solidarity with the umbras where Penumbra had genuine interest. At the same time, she also represents the mainstream vapidness of modern superheroing that Sunblast stood in for. She just hides her nastiness better than he did but it’s obvious she’s just as self-serving as Sunblast was before he evolved. In my opinion, she represents celebrity activism that seems to be doing good work but you know it’s just for the sake of images rather than actually helping the people she represents.
In the end, it is interesting how both grew to find trust and hope in one another when no one did even though they started off as archenemies. It’s probably a good case of showing who is truly your ally and who will always have your back, even if they are the most unlikely people you first encountered in life.
137 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hhhh I have oc brainrot and this is my house so I'm going to say things about it
(Long post below)
So, I've posted before about Anna and Juni and the thing about them is that they have no cannon. I made Anna to fight off the monsters from horror shows I was too young to watch and Juni because I was uncomfortable putting Anna through any horrors.
What I posted last week on sts was my ongoing attempt to force them into a coherent canon but I almost don't like it? It's a little hollow and almost doesn't fit the underlying core of the characters I have in my brain.
Why not use the progression they went through as I grew up? I insert them into *everything*, that's why I struggle to obsess over fandom characters, because my special-est guys are already there.
To make it short, I was obsessed with Oblivion growing up and Anna was part of the Dark Brotherhood.
(Juni is still nebulous at this point so we're focusing on her)
(If anyone has not played through the DB quest of Oblivion and would like a rundown, I would be so happy to talk about my favorite part of my favorite video game)
I like to think that she still watched her bio-dad (Matthew) "die" and then teleported to Cyrodil, where she immediately stumbles upon/is contacted by/interacts with somehow Lucien and latches onto him like a baby duckling.
She THRIVES in the Dark Brotherhood. This is why the solider story doesn't fit for me, because as much as she and I both want her to be a good person, a *hero*, she is not. She is someone who gleefully decapitates a guy in an alley and then goes home to brag about it to her buddies.
She is not the player in this AU. I like to think she and the player have a mirrored track, joining at the same time and being spared from the Cheydinal masacre.
(I like to think she was sent off to Skyrim or just the other side of the map for a contract, all happy (LEGITIMATELY the happiest she has ever been or will be again) and then comes home to nearly her entire family in pieces on the ground, and she CANT BE MAD AT THE GUY WHO DID IT)
She latches on even harder to Lucien at that point. One thing that's been constant is that she is someone who leaves claw marks in things. Never letting them go.
She and the player are both put on the dead drop system, and I like to imagine she notices that the higher ups are getting murdered, but Lucien is already off trying to solve that problem so she's on her own.
(Also PLEASE ask me my thoughts on how Obsidian handled that quest/reveal, I love it so much)
She's always one step behind both the player and Lucien, though she's in the players spot when she busts into Applewatch.
Just in time to see the remaining leaders deliver the final blow to Lucien's mutilated, nearly unrecognizable body.
"Hey! We found the traitor! Isn't that wonderful? Aren't you happy!"
I feel like describing it takes away the impact, so let's say that she locks the door behind them and emerged several hours later, coat a darker shade of black.
(At least two of those hours were dedicated to sobbing over Luciens' corpse and then stabbing the player's several hundred more times)
Technically the Brotherhood limps on from Applewatch, slowly growing into what it is in Skyrim, but for me it ended there. She killed it. The Final Listener.
I remember crying about this to my sister and her going "well that's what happens when you join the murder cult".
I think Anna internalized that. This happened because of the darkness. This happened because you weren't good enough to save them.
Maybe if I am good.
Maybe if I save people.
Maybe if I'm a hero.
Maybe I can save them all.
~~~
I have more but this post is long enough lmao. Send me a message if you want to talk about your ocs with mine (or just want to talk, I'm very friendly)
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
with apologies
i figure I've now posted enough unhinged shit for people to no longer wonder about my humanity. my sanity, on the other hand...
anyway, this is my vampire blog. for amc's adaption of interview with the vampire, specifically. i will refer to it as iwtv from here on out because i'm too lazy to type all that out. but that's what i'm here for.
to cry about and post increasingly deranged iwtv stuff.
notes: i am ride or die for devil's minion, armandaniel, armand x daniel, etc. i will always tag it with some variation of that. they're my heart and the amc version with old maniel and assad!armand is especially precious to me. like, i will fight you in the walmart parking lot about them. i just love them a lot, okay?
i also love - LOVE - the other characters. all of them. every. single. one. they are all (including all versions of daniel and armand) fucked up, toxic monsters capable of great love and pain (both feeling it and inflicting it). they're petty, they're romantic, they're mean, they're sweet, and despite what they would have you believe, they are incredibly human. i think of them as humans turned up to eleven. sometimes twelve. frequently fifteen. way past what that 1-10 dial was ever meant to handle. they began life as humans and no matter how alien(ated) they become with age, they will never completely lose that part of themselves whether they believe it or not.
that means i will cry over all of them and insist they've done nothing wrong ever while still yelling at them for being the cruelest monsters, the very worst of assholes in the same post. i'll love them and i'll hate them, but i'll always love them more than i could ever hate them. and that's as it should be with characters as complex as these.
other stuff:
have read the books. have blocked out some of them because i won't have it. i just won't have it. not in my vampire books. have pitched some of them across my room. frequently ignore later canon. my canon is pretty solidly based in the original trilogy and parts of totbt. the rest, i cherry-pick from to suit my purposes. canon and i have a combative relationship.
in this house, we multi-ship and we don't get mad at other people for preferring different ships or liking different characters than we do or interpreting things differently than we do. these are complicated characters and you won't find a singular villain; likewise, you won't find a singular interpretation that lines up perfectly with your own.
some things i always try to keep in mind when i analyse any piece of media or text (and things i just think are generally helpful for anyone to keep in mind) is that everyone is the hero of their own story and that an explanation is not an excuse.
an explanation is not an excuse.
that's for the people in the back who conflate the two.
that's pretty much it, i think. old maniel 4eva, devil's minion, assad!armand also 4eva, we love all the characters, we hate all the characters, they are all monsters and victims, no ship is better than another (except devil's minion ;) ), all the characters are rendered in shades of grey, you can have more than one interpretation; they can even be conflicting, no one's the villain, explaining why a character does something is not an excuse for whatever bad thing they've done, but understanding motivation is critical if you want to interrogate the text honestly and anchor your interpretation in something solid. of course, that's just my opinion and you don't have to like or listen to that, either. (i majored in lit and philosophy with a minor in psychology. you can imagine the intensity i approach this with; i think it's probably off-putting to some people, but i can't help it. this is literally how i learned to think about things. honestly, i am mostly just here to post goofy shit and have fun, but when i accidentally latch onto a thing, i get really into it is what i'm saying.)
anyway, welcome to my disaster blog, everyone. i'm sorry for everything.
#about me#pinned post#iwtv#amc iwtv#because that's what this blog is about#and basically all this supposed about me is about#just me and my opinions on iwtv#and my feelings#always my feelings#shut qp
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
tlou hbo ep.4 & ep.5 thoughts.
more analyze-y than the others ones because i’m talkin thru my damn feelings >:,(
getting ep. 4 outta the way real quick because it was mostly setting up for ep. 5 but also i didn’t get to rewatch it since last sunday so memory’s fuzzy.
i’ve seen people have mixed reactions to ep.4 and i get it, because it was so different to how it played out in the game. biggest breaking point from game-joel was a) him talking about tess (which i felt broke a rule for his character) and b) him being openly kind to ellie. being soft with her when she shoots the hunter. laughing at her joke. these aren’t the end of the world. i can see how it was all to show he’s warming up to ellie but it did still feel odd.
i do kinda get the sense that him being mean old joel would wreck the momentum and tone, since we’re not watching pre-rendered cutscenes sandwiched between gameplay segments. you can’t have the danger happening and THEN joel’s yelling at ellie. that’s just TENSION TENSION TENSION; him being nice and open was a good way to balance things out and give us (and ellie) a breather.
so ep. 5. i have to fuckin take deep breaths.
once again, i can’t fucking believe that i can know exactly what’s going to happen and this show will still floor me. i’m broken over the immediacy that henry killed sam with, different from henry talking out his thoughts in the game. his scared, stammered “what did i do?” as he looks to joel, because he can’t believe what he just did.
when i look back to game-henry, it wasn’t emphasized all that much that he was pretty much still a kid, taking care of a kid. show-henry had plenty of those moments. both versions are cocky but the cockiness show-henry has was more kid-like, especially in his interactions with joel, and it only made it hit harder when he looked at him in those last moments, as if for help, and when joel tried to gently get the gun away from him. i’m very glad for them amping up the connection between joel and henry.
the choices they made with sam were amazing. the kid was a great actor and i love seeing all the extra bits that came with him being deaf. i knew it wouldn’t matter all that much that he was younger and deaf; what mattered at the end of the day was his connection with ellie and they fuckin knocked it out of the park. i love that even without them being close in age, they latched onto each other anyway.
the bit with ellie’s blood was such an interesting change. because that was a stellar way of showing despite her maturity, she’s still a kid too. you can tell she really believed she could save him.
this coupled with sam’s superhero fixation...god. the thought of him thinking of her as a hero because of that.
another big change was showing ellie’s reaction to henry’s suicide, instead of joel’s like the game. in the game, i think it was to remind joel about the fragility and impermanence of good things. the show’s not really joel city, they can’t really keep it on him the whole time because that’s boring. not to mention, it’s about more than him. in the show, you can tell it’s to show the impact it’s going to have on ellie’s journey.
i wasn’t a big fan of kathleen initially -- felt she wasn’t intimidating enough as a leader -- but as we saw her more in ep. 5, i was disgusted with her, which is good! i do like the complexity of her, how she’s the leader of this big resistance movement but also seemed unsure and grasping in a lot of moments (of which surprisingly did not include the moments where she ordered people to be killed or argued that ellie and sam should die because “kids die”).
brief note, the child clicker was cool but like...a bit farfetched right?? i mean unless she was bit as a baby and has just been turning since then? aside from that, i do like that she foreshadowed sam’s turning in a way. kid infected is such a gutpunch.
another thing i liked were the parts ripped straight from the gameplay. just watching joel reach the house with the sniper in it caused a lotta moments where i was like “OH YEA THAT HAPPENED.”
WHEN THE INFECTED CAME OUTTA THE GROUND??? i was like “OH YEA THAT WAS PART OF IT.” this show’s great. i love seeing the funny ways they tie back to the game.
all the episodes have been good so far but it really seems like the odd-numbered ones have consistently been bangers.
NEXT ONE THO. JACKSON TIME. TOMMY. MARIA. LET’S GOOO >:)
#tlou hbo#tlou hbo spoilers#this helped me talk out my feelings wowie#i was big sad#now i'm small sad#talkies#thinkies
34 notes
·
View notes
Note
The merging of the two Hyrules is a fantastic idea because it solves so many problems for both.
Like Tia's Hyrule has already gone through TotK so while they have Light Shrines, Sweetpea already used them up. But maybe some things start looking different, ruins are more numerous, Shrines reactivate (which Sweetpea kinda gets annoyed about because 152 SHRINES! HE DID THEM ALL! HE HAS THE OUTFIT TO PROVE IT!), some people start getting their counterparts' memories. Temples start causing problems again. Flickers of Gloom reappear.
So over the course of this whole kerfuffle, the two Hyrules are merging partially due to Ganon, partially due to the Big Three essentially writing off Sage's Hyrule as a failure and this is the alternative to just... wiping it out of existence.
(Also the idea of Tia's Hyrule just rolling up at the Final Battle being like "How many times do we have to teach you this lesson, Old Man?!" is hilarious to me)
Meanwhile, Sage's Hyrule gets what's essentially a reality check that puts everything into perspective. Like they were so starved for hope and stability that they just latched onto the closest thing which was Natura which just conflated everything. Then they are shown a Hyrule where things were better. Not just because of the different Princess but because Hyrule gave itself hope. They pushed themselves to protect themselves and each other. They were kinder to each other and that made all the difference.
I think people who were similar enough to their counterparts (like Cece, Beedle, Koko etc) got merged together and now have two sets of memories while people who were too different (Sweetpea and Sage) or were dead in one Hyrule and aren't in the other (The Champions) or didn't exist (Aaliyah) are still separate people.
Natura would be saved but she gets put on house arrest in the castle to make sure she doesn't start a rebellion (or is the figurehead of one) before being put into Urbosa's custody. Tia doesn't like Natura but she knows it wouldn't be healthy for her to be so close to a so-called 'better' version of herself. Natura becomes a princess only in name while Tia becomes the Queen.
Thunderhead Islands is where the merging starts to happen so everyone is getting rightfully concerned about the implications of what is going on when Sweetpea and Aaliyah are effecting the reality of Tia and Sage's location.
I can't explain how excited I get to see you in my inbox :)
I imagine after they combine the shrines like...reboot in a way? Like, surprise! Now you have to do them all over again! Good news! There are now two more people who can help you out! Bad news! There are now 152 shrines to re-find!
Ruins are certainly popping up more, but there are also a lot more flourishing! New fauna and animals are popping up that were once thought to be extinct. It's like going forward four steps only to jump back thirteen miles. Rito is freezing over once more, the marbled rock roasts are back, the Zora domain is polluted and even the Gerudo are having trouble again (I haven't finished that temple yet ;-;) Sage and Aaliyah even start getting sick again.
Which sucks because not only are they dealing with the switch, but they're dealing with Ganon and now this whole merging business. People are reporting two sets of memories, those thought dead are no longer dead, etc. etc.
The big three just writing off Sage's Hyrule is both so heartbreaking and so in character for them. If they don't like something, they just...get rid of it.
(No bc that is so funny. They're just ready to rumble and Aaliyah's own hyrule is just 'I'm sorry we have to what now?')
Natura definitely was only a symbol of hope because that was the only one they had. The champions had been picked off, one by one, the hero had been downed, she was all they had left. When offered a different alternative, they're probably a bit resistant. However, it doesn't last long since Tia's own Hryule is just >:( We ain't doing that.
Those who were prominent enough people in the journeys were probably just merged, and like you said, now have two sets of memories. Unless of course they had two incredibly different scenarios. Like Sage and Sweetpea. Or if they never existed at all. Imagine half of Hyrule is just 'Who's the Sheikah Champion?' and the other half is "How tf do you not know? Her and Link are attached at the hip."
Natura is the only bit I cannot quite place. But I like the idea of putting her on house arrest. Because if we go with the idea that she's attached to this throne that people have given her, even if her real throne has fallen. Her starting a rebellion is probably not out of the frame as some people still blame the champions. And how can they trust their own memories when their standing right there? The only thing that's remained the same is Natura. SO that's the only reason I can see people following her until she's placed with Urbosa.
Thunderhead Islands being the starting place of this all is perfect because I can only imagine a Secret stone has that kind of power. So when Aaliyah takes up her own, it reflects her own desires and wants. And her biggest want is to see Sage again. Hence the starting of the merge.
It only worsens the worry when people start being like 'Weren't you just here?" and Sage is like 'wtf do you mean?' and they're all 'You and the Sheikah Champion were just here?"
Tipping them off to the merging.
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
youtube
I dunno about you folks, but given the recent news about Adult Swim’s new Checkered Past block (them broadcasting old Cartoon Network shows), along with today being 810nicle Day, it’s got me thinking about my childhood.
This is something I normally don’t bring up, as I usually don’t discuss my personal experiences, but I wanna get it off my chest. As far back as the mid to late 2000s, 3 big things were a factor of my childhood; LEGO, Cartoon Network/Adult Swim, and, believe it or not, the city of Atlanta, Georgia.
The LEGO bit is rather obvious, given how I’m a huge Mixels fan, but I also recall liking Bionicle alot when it was being sold. While I don’t really remember alot of my past with that particular franchise myself, I do remember seeing the commercials for it back in the day. And to this day, I often find myself rewatching old promotional material for Bionicle on Youtube for nostalgia reasons. Why, I even dabbled around with the G2 sets back when they came out during the mid 2010’s. I guess my love for LEGO back in my early years was a huge reason why I latched onto Mixels from the very start. Like with alot of people that I know, Mixels and Bionicle are the two LEGO franchises I love the most, both as a kid, and even now as a young adult. Obviously, a few other themes from that time like Power Miners, Atlantis, and Hero Factory were sets that I liked alot, but for the sake of discussion, Mixels and Bionicle are what come to my head first whenever I think about LEGO.
Speaking of Mixels, the series that it got on Cartoon Network was, and still is, one of my favorite shows on the channel. I guess that serves as a nice segway into the CN portion, eh? Getting back into the topic at hand, given how I was born in 2002, I would eventually grow up with many of the shows from the CN eras of not only the mid-to-late 2000s, but also the early 2010s; Yes! Noods, and even a bit of the Check It era are when I had some pretty good memories with Cartoon Network, and the shows airing throughout all of that time stuck with me. Obviously, Mixels comes up again when I talk about this sorta thing, but shows like Chowder, Flapjack, the original continuity of Ben 10, Billy and Mandy, Adventure Time Regular Show, and plenty more are what I saw and loved back then. I even dabbled in a bit of Adult Swim too, as not only does Aqua Teen Hunger Force come to mind, me and my family even watched late-night broadcasts of King of the Hill. And I’m not sure if I’m remembering this right, but I might have even seen a tiny bit of Toonami as well. I dunno, it’s been a long time since that all happened
Lastly, the last thing of this 3 layered cake of nostalgia is me and my family visiting the city of Atlanta, more specifically, the Georgia Aquarium. My mind’s a bit fuzzy on when my first visit exactly was, but I’m guessing that was around in 2008. I was 6 back then, so it happened long ago. Even back at that age, I was a lover of marine life, sharks especially. I think the Georgia Aquarium was my first ever time seeing these beautiful creatures alive. Unlike a good chunk of people, I’ve always been fascinated by sharks and other marine animals, so you can probably imagine the sheer awe that I had when I saw a whale shark swimming around Ocean Voyager. Moments like that tend to stick with you for life. And ever since, I’ve had the pleasure of coming back again and again all throughout my late childhood and teen years. Even to this day, me and my family go to the aquarium for sleepovers every once and a while. No joke, I even teared up a little bit when the lights went off in the massive viewing window in Ocean Voyager, where me, my dad, and the sleepover group that we were a part of, when it got late. Seeing shadows dance, cruise, and flicker inside the inky depths was one of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen in my life, mainly due to how it struck a chord with my nostalgia. While the Georgia Aquarium itself has changed to add in renovations, new galleries and animals, and other such things, my love and appreciation for the place has only grown within years, and I’ll always treasure it and the memories that I’ve had. Also, while we’re on the topic of Atlanta, did you know that Williams Street, one of the teams behind Adult Swim, is set within Atlanta? Things like that bring everything together.
Now, with all of that said, what’s the point of me going off on a discussion like this? It’s just me wanting to talk about certain things from my childhood that I, along with many other people, have had happy childhood memories. Given the state of the world right now, I feel like thinking about simpler times helps with feeling better. Adult Swim’s Checkered Past feels like the team in charge of the channel wants to not only bring back memories of the old CN shows that we all loved as children (along with introducing any kids today to said shows), but to also give these beloved classics the love and respect that they deserve. Cartoon Network, as it stands now, is in desperate need of repair, and it’s all Discovery’s fault. Given how he ruined both Discovery and Warner Bros with the WB Discovery merger, along with canceling certain films and shows before they could come out, filing Discovery and ruining Shark Week with pseudoscience nonsense designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator (I.E. braindead morons who spread conspiracies that aren’t true in the slightest) and reality show garbage that no sane person would willingly watch, David Zaslav is one of the few people out there that I unironically despise with all of my heart. I really hope someone in the near future comes out and finds a way to fire his ass for good. That bastard needs to go. Only then, things for WB and CN can find a way to improve for the better, along with many other studios going through similar situations.
Until that happens, things like Checkered Past serve as a way to rediscover the magic felt by all of us, and it’s a magic that I can attend to especially. Even with how I’ve grown and changed as a person, along with my tastes in media being refined and expanded on, I’ll always harken back to simpler times. I think we could all have a trip down memory lane.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Luci was, as I think we should have guessed, tied to Joshua and Ash. That said, Ash isn't their original kid, or even just the identity said kid latched onto. That's Zero, who inevitably over time became obsessed with being the hero.
Not all kids were paired with both a demon and a holy figure. But they were always paired with at least one of them. The layout of our subsystems is confusing, and we don't even have half of our various parts organized correctly. There are a lot of gaps and parts placed wherever out of sheer frustration. We also know we're still missing parts, whether they're just not easily noticed or they're totally dormant. It's a bit hard to say for many cases.
We ARE Legion.
Take the text document of subsystems as we believe they are, and press enter on each individual name. There literally are hundreds of us. The last part to do that was John, and at the time, the list was a good bit smaller.
And the reason for it? Why the actual fuck is it so extreme? Because even before we were taken by child protective services, we were already a terrified four year old kid. We lived with unpredictable, unimaginable pain, and had been for years already. When would the trigeminal neuralgia strike? Who knows! How bad would it be when it did? Your guess is as good as mine.
We were already experiencing dissociative states, undefined as they were. So it's not like we weren't primed to accept the answer given to us with the most conviction, no matter how bad it was. And unfortunately, the Pentecostals had the most conviction in their bullshit. Of course I accepted what they said about us being full of demons (I've been fixated on the gospel story about Jesus and Legion and the drowning pigs my whole life; yes it's got an explanation).
Again, whether they were really following Jesus' teachings or not, the people around me in foster care still considered themselves Christians. I'm not diving into the theological arguments, simply because I'm not educated enough about them and it would be too exhausting right now to dig into them just to do so.
But, uh... Yeah. Since we can't really get rid of a lot of things we were brainwashed with at this point, we might as well twist what we can and have a good laugh about it. There will be a fuckton of Christianity jokes all along the way. It's called coping with humor.
We're Legion, hi.
-Kite 🪆😺
#dissociative identity disorder#did system#did#alters#subsystems#polyfragmented#polyfrag did#polyfrag system#dissociation#introjects#religious trauma#demon alter#christian trauma#religious abuse#foster care#face pain#trigeminal neuralgia#religious indoctrination#fundamentalist christianity#christian fundamentalism#cult survivor#ramcoa#programmed system#physical disability#disabled#child abuse#pentecostals#demonic possession#trauma recovery#personal shit
1 note
·
View note
Text
On Toga, and stopping the violence
Toga's arc has been one where the predictions have been all over the place, aside from the obvious ending where her and Ochacko come to an understanding.
Chapter 341 introduced the potential for a revenge plot, but I'll be honest and say that never sat right with me. I was ready to accept it if it came, but I didn't like it. I think the reason I didn't like it is because it doesn't really align with Touya's character (since he literally can only focus on revenge against his dad), but it also didn't really align with Toga's character either? I'll explain. But anyway, after chapter 345, I am starting to think things won't go down the Toga/Dabi/Hawks route (at least I really hope not).
These are just predictions, and me going off of what we know about Toga as a character, and I'm obviously open to being wrong. It could still go down that way. But I'd like to explain why I don't like the revenge route, and why I prefer what I think is about to happen now.
If you look back at Toga's character throughout the story, she isn't violent-natured at heart. Of course her actions are violent, there is no denying that she does violent things, but there are several instances where her personal interests and emotions were more important to her than just, being violent.
In fact, violence only happened after so long of feeling suffocated and, as we know, being emotionally abused by her family:
But going back to her combat intro in the training camp arc, we learn immediately that Toga is drawn to people her age, and has a soft spot for them:
Beyond the obvious "she's a villain" issue, Toga's other issue in this scene is....boundaries. She has none. When you aren't given the chance to have healthy friendships and relationships, any indication that you could have a connection with someone is exciting and, well, boundaries don't exist.
But this comes from a place of her wanting to have something that she saw: a friendship. Ocha and Tsu immediately caught her attention, from the get go. And she immediately latched onto this idea she had of Ochacko (which was technically the correct idea, because Toga can read people). And then she sees Deku and, again, boundaries lol:
In order to get to my point, I have to fast forward to the remedial license arc, where Toga is once again face to face with these UA kids:
She's undercover, but she's being honest here. Why wouldn't you be honest when you're undercover? Nobody knows who you are. But anyway, Toga asks a serious question here:
That makes a reappearance in the war arc:
So what does all of this say about Toga?
Toga is not afraid to just, ask the hard questions. She asks the questions that Shigaraki and Touya both want answers to, but they won't ask. She faces people head on with words. And above all else, she's a reliable narrator, unlike the other two in the LOV trio.
Toga gets in scuffles here and there, yeah. But when she comes face to face with Ochacko and Deku in particular, she's more about the words, the conversation. And she even expressed wanting to talk to Tsu during the war too.
So I pointed all of this out to explain that, Toga is not an inherently violent person. When she used Camie as a blood bank, she could have easily killed her in the process when she was done with her. But at her mercy, she just didn't. At the training camp arc, she honestly could have sliced Ocha and Tsu by surprise and killed them too, because we know Toga is a kickass fighter. In the Overhaul arc, Toga could have killed Rock Lock (one less hero to worry about right?), but again, she didn't. Yes, she is a member of the LOV and she has killed, but she is not on the same level as Shigaraki or Touya.
So in chapter 341, we found out that Touya gave Toga Twice's blood. There wasn't a plan that was discussed, but I think (key word: think) that Touya gave that to Toga out of kindness, and assumed she would use it for revenge. Or maybe just assumed she would use it to somehow further the villains' progress and honor Twice's memory. Chapter 341 was extremely melancholy in tone. Toga saw the way society viewed her, and her family. She saw that her family just trashed her stuff when she ran away. Touya burned the home that hurt her out of kindness, but tied it to Endeavor, further showing that he can't get out of his tunnel vision. And then we have Twice, who at this point I am hoping will be used in this way in the story.
In chapter 341 as well, Toga expresses some form of doubt for what's to come:
This phrasing indicates that she isn't entirely sure that what she's choosing to do is going to bring anything good to her life (we know it's not). Her conversation with Ocha hurt her deeply, and only cemented her surface level desire to keep on the path to destroying everything with the League. But deep down in there, she wants something more. She always has. And destroying everything will take away that chance for her to get that.
So....about this revenge. Toga? I don't know.
Because when Twice died, Toga did go on a killing spree and said it was "heroes who ruin everything" (understandably), but once she cooled down and regrouped with the LOV on Machia, she went back to her normal self, where she once again, asks the hard questions, and seeks out answers from the same specific kids:
Toga didn't talk about Hawks, she didn't mention Hawks, or even think about him specifically. So at this point, in my opinion it wouldn't feel like a Toga thing to do for her to make some complicated revenge plot, and seek out a hero she's had zero interaction or context with in the entire story.
Toga has wanted nothing more than answers to her questions. She wanted acceptance, but she didn't get that. So the next thing she wants is answers, and she has given the kids multiple chances to give them to her. Fighting has occurred along the way, but Toga has shown more willingness and desire to TALK than any other villain.
So now again in chapter 345: Toga, who has done more than honestly any of the other LOV members to show that she wants a conversation more than a fight, sets off to get her answers from those same three kids she latched onto the day she met them:
I think what Toga is about to do is make a last ditch effort at having that conversation. Because she went out of her way to make sure she was face to face with not only Ocha and Tsu, but also Deku. Those same three kids she's been seeking answers from since the day she met them.
Toga is in mourning, and I think Toga has reached a point where she is tired of the death, the violence, and the hurt. And obviously the LOV are not in a good spot right now, and she knows. She knows that outside help is needed, and I think this is her making that last attempt at reaching out.
And I think that this time, things will go down differently, because chapter 342 showed us that both Deku AND Ochacko share feelings about the villains that others don't, and they both know that they are maybe the only chance at changing the relationship between the heroes and the LOV.
#bnha#bnha meta#toga himiko#bnha 345#boku no hero academia#himiko toga#mha meta#mha 345#bnha league of villains#bnha lov#uraraka ochacko#midoriya izuku#deku
515 notes
·
View notes
Text
Along for the Ride PT 1
Pairing: KirishimaxF!Reader
Summary: A drunken mistake had you marking the little Plus One box to your snobby cousin's wedding. Kirishima told you not to worry, if you couldn't find a date, he'd go with you. When the wedding gets moved up, there's absolutely no time to find a date and you're now about to be traveling to America with Kirishima on a private jet no less, dreading having him meet your rude and impossibly arrogant family.
Contains: Kirishima and Reader both come from very well-off families. Plus-Sized Reader. Fluff. Hurt/Comfort.
Warnings: Kinda smutty for a minute. Minors DNI. Drunken Sex. TW: Manipulative Family Relationships. TW: Body Image Issues
A/N: This story has been rolling around in my head for a while now. I might rewrite this and repost. Or I might just post the whole thing soon. I dunno yet. It does get smuttier.
Word Count: 4,974
"What's up with Y/N?"
Eijiro stepped out of the locker room with a towel slung over his shoulder and made his way into the kitchenette where Mina was chugging a bottle of water before getting back to her patrol. His eyes were trained on their mutual friend out on the patio, pacing.
You had your phone pressed to your ear, the high neck of your hero costume unzipped to your collarbone and he noticed your gloves discarded on a chair.
"No clue." Mina shrugged. "She got back from patrol and she noticed a bunch of missed calls from her mom. She's been out there, flailing on the phone for the last fifteen minutes now."
The three of you had met in your second year at UA when you transferred into their class and were quickly accepted by their little squad of friends. You were a bit quiet at first but quickly found comfort in the group. Eijiro had grown especially close to you when you both interned with Fat Gum.
Late nights traveling on the train back to school, a few close calls while helping patrol, and days spent playing cards while you both healed up in the hospital left plenty of time for Eijiro to get to know you better than most. It was how he knew you had a pretty bad relationship with your family, why you hated returning home for the holidays almost as much as you hated any and all forms of tomatoes.
He considered going out there just to see if there was anything he could do but before he had the chance, you were sliding the glass door open. "Oh, good, you're back." He offered you a bottle of water for your throat that he assumed was sore after that argument. "I- um- can I borrow you for a second? Alone?"
Mina snorted a laugh. "If you guys wanna bang it out on the counter you can just say so. I gotta go to work anyways."
Eijiro threw the towel at her as she left the room leaving you two alone. "What's goin' on?"
You hoisted yourself up on the countertop while he leaned against the fridge. "You remember my cousin's wedding that's happening this winter?"
He nodded. He vividly remembered the both of you getting waste a few weeks ago when you were filling out the RSVP and accidentally marking 'plus one'. Then you ran around trying to find White Out but he'd told you if you didn't find a date or have a significant other by the time of the wedding, he'd just go with you.
You argued that your family was bat shit crazy, had more money than they could spend in their lifetime and because of that, they were among some of the rudest people you knew, and you didn't want Eijiro or anyone else around that.
The thing was, Eijiro already knew that and was still okay with going. He came from money too. A lot of it. His family was just more welcoming than yours, the wealth never really going to their heads. But, he reminded you that he'd ran into enough people like those in your family that he knew how to handle them. You finally agreed to let him accompany you, leaving the plus one box checked but the name line blank.
"Well, my cousin just found out that surprise, she's pregnant! And, obviously, she can't have a wedding while seven months along so they've decided to move the wedding up to this weekend."
He nearly choked on his own spit. "This weekend? As in four days from now?"
"Yup! Saturday at 4 in the evening. Oh! No one's supposed to know she's pregnant either. So, I'm just supposed to compliment her on how flattering her dress looks, how thin she is," Your hands strangled the water bottle between them, "And I have to find something flattering to my figure because my mother has seen me in my hero outfit and she's so glad I wear a mask because if anyone knew her daughter ran around looking like I do, well, it'd ruin her!"
You massaged your temples circling back to the actual point, "Anyways, I just wanted to bitch for a sec and let you know you're off the hook since four days is just a little short notice and I told her my plus one wouldn't be able to get the time off that fast."
He pushed off the fridge. "Well, wait, hang on! I'm not letting you go in alone to deal with them! Hell no! You need backup!" You looked almost taken aback by his abruptness, "Yeah. I can work this out. Is the wedding at the same place it was supposed to be or has it moved?"
"No, it's still that fancy lodge in California. I was planning on leaving Friday morning and then coming back either Sunday night or Monday morning since my mother insists I go to their brunch the following day. But, Eijiro, I already have this weekend off..."
"Denki owes me a favor or twelve. He's supposed to be off this weekend too, I'll just see if he can cover me."
"And if he can't?"
"Then..." He pressed the back of his hand to his forehead, "Y/N, am I feeling warm to you? I think I might be starting a fever!"
You folded your arms, shaking your head, "Thought you said lying isn't manly."
"Technically, correct. But, what would be real unmanly is for me to let you deal with your family's bullshit all alone." You watched him closely, "To be honest, I'm sure we could just explain you had a family thing come up and asked me to come along for moral support. I don't really think anyone would think twice about it. Hell, you took a few days off to console me when my turtle died suddenly!"
"Eiji, you refused to eat."
"And you brought me my favorite dumplings! Same thing!"
You might have shaken your head at him but your arms opened wide. The telltale sign you wanted affection. He walked forward, consuming you in a tight hug. Your arms latched around his neck, face buried in the hollow of his throat. "You're the best."
"I just do what I can."
>>><<<
You should have canceled. Instead of Eijiro faking sick to get out of work, you should have faked it with your mother so you didn't have to go in the first place. You crumpled to the floor of your bedroom in pure frustration amidst the twenty or so outfits and dozen pairs of shoes you'd thrown out of your closet trying to find something that your mother would deem appropriate.
It wasn't your fault you had a fuller figure. You worked out, ate right, not to mention your job kept you very active, and yet your, hips, ass, and breasts were by no means subtle.
Your mother had also insisted on the dress being floor-length and modern, "Do try not wearing all black. It's a wedding, not a funeral. And, get your hair looking natural, please." And, just like that, 70% of your wardrobe was out the window!
"It's open!" You called from the floor when the doorbell rang.
"You really should lock this." Mina tutted, walking through the door with a bag full of takeout.
"I do. At night."
"Honey, it's 9 PM."
"Night like bedtime."
Mina just rolled her eyes and walked into your tiny kitchen. "I see the dress hunt is going well."
"I actually figured it out!" You got off the floor, careful not to step on a heel as you made your way to the pink haired woman, "I'm just gonna go in my birthday suit. I figured, my mother made my body technically therefore she can't disapprove of it. Because, you know, she's never done anything wrong in her life!"
Your best friend snorted out a laugh and passed you the take-out container stuffed full of stir fry. "you're a wonderful person, you know that?" You loved the fact Mina didn't even have to ask what you wanted.
"If you'd just move closer to work then you could pick it up yourself and I wouldn't have to bring it to you."
"Too expensive." You declared after a mouthful. "You pay almost twice as much as I do per month and I just don't see the point. I have damn near the same amount of space you do for half the cost!"
You adored your small one-bedroom apartment. It was perfect. Right above a bakery that you visited each morning after your run and a little balcony that provided you with the most stunning view of the sunset.
"You and Kiri, I swear." Mina just shook her head and curled up with her food on the loveseat. "I thought he'd end up with the biggest house out of us all the moment we started making that real Pro money. You've seen his parent's house. It's massive! You could get lost in that place!"
Eijiro's place was barely bigger than your own. He lived in the same condo he had since you'd graduated UA, claiming it was perfect for him in each and every way. But, you knew that he donated a sizable amount of his paycheck every month to charities, the same as you. With savings to spare, neither of you saw the point in hoarding it and therefore the small condo was all he could afford with what he actually kept.
"Just don't understand how a guy that big can live in such a tiny little space. At least with you, it's you know, physically feasible."
Eijiro's bedroom was barely large enough to fit the king-sized bed the man needed to sleep comfortably and even then, his feet were dangerously close to dangling off the bed. And, as if the man's ears were burning, your cell phone went off under a pile of discarded shoes.
Shark-E: Figured out your dress situation? If not, I'm just gonna pack like ten different ties and hope for the best.
You: Yeah! I totally did! I'm just gonna wear this birthday suit I got and call it a night.
You chuckled at your own joke all over again. Watching the grey ellipses appear and then vanish, appear and vanish again. After a third time, you took pity on the man.
You: Joking, Ei. I still don't have it figured out but Mina's over so, hopefully, she can help.
Shark-E: Gonna give me a damn heart attack! Seriously, I wouldn't put it past you just to see the look on your mom's face. Tell Mina hi and good luck to you. I vote the dress from the Hero Gala two years ago.
You: Hi from Mina. Can't. Too much boobs.
Shark-E: You take that back right now! There is NEVER such a thing as too much boobs!
You chuckled to yourself, putting your phone down, and then finished off the last of your delicious dinner, thinking about the dress Eijiro mentioned.
You wondered if maybe there was a way you could make the thing work but it was so very low cut. So much tape had been used to make sure no slips happened but damn was it worth it! The beaded bodice with the sparkling long sleeves, gods, how you loved that dress.
"I'm inclined to agree with our shark boy. You're busty, who gives a damn. You looked hot as hell in that dress."
"My mother, that's who. As much as I'd like to not give a flying fuck what she thinks, for some dumb reason, I do. On top of her telling me that the amount of cleavage I would show would be vastly inappropriate for a wedding, she'd also say the way it hugs my hips makes them look too fat."
Mina rolled her eyes. "She's such a piece of work." Pushing herself up, she held her arms out to you, wiggling little pink fingers for you to take. "Come on then. Let's get you sorted."
"What about that one you wore to the charity art thingy with Kyoka last winter? The one with the silver top."
"Silver is too close to white." You called out from within your closet.
"What! Not true!"
"You know that. I know that. Every person with two brain cells knows that, which is why most of my family does not know that."
"Fine..." She whined and started sifting through the opposite end of your closet. "Oh, what about this?" Mina waved about the blue and green plaid skirt that made up your uniform from your middle school days when you lived in America. "Please try this on. I'm begging!"
You were pretty sure it wouldn't even go over your thighs anymore.
"It's got a better chance of fitting you!"
Mina threw it at you anyway. Slipping off the sweats you wore, somehow, someway, you were able to tug it on AND get it zipped, barely. It no longer covered your ass but you still enjoyed the way it swished around when you wiggled your hips.
"You could be fulfilling so many people's fantasies right now." Mina mused.
You pulled the skirt off and sweats back on, throwing the former back at her. "Yeah, you can take it and go fulfill Hanta's fantasies if you like. Not like I've got anyone to impress." You pulled down a dress you bought on sale a year ago but Mina was quick to dismiss it.
Too puffy, she said and then held up one that was from Momo. "I needed to get it shortened and I don't have time for that now."
"Wait..." She hummed and dropped the Momo dress. "I know what it should be!"
Mina hurried through the closet, grumbling about not finding it. "Just tell me which dress and I can tell you where it's at."
"It's that one you got for grad night and then you got sick and couldn't go!"
"Mina, Mina I can't wear that! That's actual vintage, not like, made-to-look-vintage!"
"But it's so elegant and has that off-the-shoulder sleeve thing. The wedding is at a damn sky lodge! It'll look so pretty in the snow! Ah! Found it!"
She yanked up the long, elegant gown from the garment bag you'd never removed it from. There wasn't a single wrinkle in the burgundy fabric. It looked just as beautiful as the day you found it in that second-hand store, on a mannequin with gaudy stage jewels that you just had to buy so the look was complete.
You ran the back of your hand over the velvety fabric, soft to the touch. "It'll be too tight now. If I was the same size I was at graduation-"
"Bullshit!" Mina cut you off with a dismissive hand, "You've got hips now. We aren't 18 anymore! It's not like it's some clubbing dress. And I bet no one would say a damn thing about your figure if they knew how easily you could crush them with those thighs!"
A smirk tugged at the corner of your lips. Without quirks, you gave every single one of your classmates a run for their money in hand to hand. Most were fairly easy to beat. You could usually take down Eijiro in about five or six minutes and Katsuki in half the time. Funny enough, it was Ochaco that gave you the hardest time.
"I'll consider it. But help me find something else just in case."
>>><<<
It was another two hours before you finally agreed on an a-line, empire waist green and gold number that had been the bridesmaid's dresses for Tetsutetsu's wedding. Mina thought they were a crime the first time they had to wear them, she had no idea what you were thinking.
That's why the moment you were preoccupied with trying to find yet another dress for the Sunday brunch, Mina pulled out her phone.
You: DO NOT, under any circumstances, allow Y/N to wear the green dress. She's bringing two because she can't decide. Red is the winner!
Jaws: Aw, come on. If she likes it, let her wear whatever she's comfortable in. She'll be under enough stress already.
You: Kirishima, it's the dress from Tetsu's wedding. The one that looks sparkly baby food.
It took him a second to respond.
Jaws: Alright. Understood. I thought you guys looked good but damn, she hated that dress.
You: We all did.
Mina looked at the message chain again and couldn't help but asked, "Are we just gonna ignore the fact that you and Eiji are flying all the way to America, last minute, to attend a wedding together, even though you're not together?"
"We've flown to the states before."
"For work!" She sat up eagerly. "This is different, Y/N! This is a date and not just a, like, casual date but a wedding date!"
You poked your head out of the closet. "No, it isn't. This is a friend helping another friend who stupidly mismarked an RSVP." You corrected very plainly but Mina wasn't one to give up so easily.
She whined, dragging out your name, "You guys have been doing this thing for ages. Why do you have to be so stubborn about it all!"
"What's that supposed to mean!"
Mina started ticking off points on her fingers. "He was the first person you opened up to at UA. You saved his life when he was busy saving Katsuki's life second year. You spent all that time interning together, became sidekicks together. Went to America together for three whole months, ALONE, and you honestly expect me to think there's nothing between the two of you!"
The truth of it all was simple really; 17 year old you had a massive crush on Eijiro Kirishima. He was sweet, always listening to you, providing comfort when you needed it, and always encouraging you to push your limits. He was bright and honest, a little slow in the head from time to time but that made him all the more endearing.
He was also head over heels in love with Katsuki Bakugo.
It was why you never made a move. Never spoke a word of the feelings you harbored. You didn't dare to cross that line with him because you couldn't ever hold a candle to the explosive man.
In the three years Eijiro and Katsuki spent together, your brain finally started registering Eijiro as just a friend, nothing more, and certainly nothing less. You thought your heart had followed suit but it was becoming more and more apparent that wasn't the case. Because the night he showed up at your door, tears in his ruby eyes, every lock you put on your heart broke open.
The same way you couldn't hold a candle to Katsuki, Eijiro couldn't hold one to Izuku. You knew exactly what he was feeling even if you never intended to tell him. Too overcome with fear. If Katsuki came back... that'd be it. Eijiro would go back and you wouldn't even blame him!
Still, the redhead consumed a decent chunk of your heart though, you couldn't deny that after the three months you spent together in America, gathering intel on a smuggling ring, living in the same apartment. The groggy, 'good mornings' when his voice was still scratchy with sleep, hair falling in his eyes. The late nights bandaging wounds and killing cheap bottles of wine while watching terrible American reality shows.
It was those bottles of wine that did you in on your second to last night in America. Supplying you with courage and draining your sense of reason, allowing you to crawl onto his lap, into his arms. You could still remember the pressure of his lips on yours, those sharp teeth gently dragging along your lower lip.
Scared hands tracing the curve of your ass before taking handfuls to squeeze. The laugh that came from you was unlike anything you heard before, something so genuine that you couldn't reproduce.
How it felt when he lifted you up and took you to his bed, laying you down taking his time removing your clothes, and watching with awe as you pulled away his own. The way he looked over top of you, his hair a curtain of red around you just before you closed your eyes, gasping while he filled you.
You also remembered the guilt that crept into your head during the wee hours of the morning, the doubt that was louder than the snores coming from behind you.
It made you slip from under his massive arm, gather up your clothes from his floor, you tucked the blanket around him, and pressed a kiss to his temple before padding out of the room.
You told yourself you'd talk to him about it if he brought it up, but he never did. Not the next morning, or night, not on the plane ride back home, nor anytime since. It was a memory you'd hold close to your heart, one you wouldn't let slip away or share.
"There's nothing there, Mina. We're just good friends is all." You lied with a smile on your face, something that had become surprisingly easy to do.
If only you knew that Mina saw right through it. That Mina already knew the truth of it all.
>>><<<
It was nearly one in the morning when your phone rang. The goofy picture of Eijiro with face half painted at a festival a few years back never failed to make you grin.
"It's a little late." You answered by way of greeting.
"Don't pretend like you were anywhere close to sleeping, you little night owl."
Chuckling at the nickname that had followed you since high school, "What's up, Eiji?"
"I was going over flights. You said in the office that you wanted to leave on Friday?"
"Yeah. I have patrol tomorrow and I didn't find any flights after 6 PM so, Friday is the earliest."
He was quiet on the other line for a moment. "Yeah, you don't have patrol tomorrow, or work at all for that matter."
You sat up a bit straighter in bed. "Um, yes I do."
"No, you don't. I called Mina, asked her if you'd mind taking that shift for you and, since she knows what's happening, she agreed the extra day for travel would do you some good. So, she's covering you tomorrow then you're off work until next Wednesday. As for me, thanks to all that overtime I put in when Denki, Kyoka, and Hitoshi got married, the three of them are splitting up my days so I have until Wednesday too."
Eijiro sounded impossibly proud on the other line, you could almost see the smirk on his face. "You've got this all planned out, don't you?"
"And a bag nearly packed. Just need you to tell me what ties to bring."
"Gold, burgundy, and black."
"Thought your mom said no black for you?"
"She said no black for the wedding. She said nothing about black at the brunch!"
You couldn't wait to put on the tea-length dress that had been a favorite for years. Satin with a lacy top and, best of all, pockets.
He let out a rumbling laugh that fell off into comfortable silence as you laid back in your bed, lights still on, the room still a mess. You tapped the speaker icon and laid the phone on the pillow right beside your head, listing to the various sounds of Eijiro moving around.
A door creaking open, a hanger clattering against another, and a zipper. "And just like that, I'm all set."
"Don't forget your passport or hero license."
"I have one in my wallet and the other in my backpack."
You swiped up on your iPad, off Netflix, and going to google, lazily searching through flights. "So, did you find any good flights since you've clearly been looking?"
Another chuckle, "Eijiro, why are you laughing?" More stifled giggles had you sitting up in bed again. "Just tell me a site you were on. They're just flights, what's so funny?"
"There isn't a site."
"You said you were checking flights."
"And I was... on my family's jet."
"Eiji! No! No, no, no! That is supposed to be for their business or hero things! My stupid cousin's wedding is neither of those things!"
"Relax, Y/N. My family has multiple and they don't have any business trips planned right now anyways. I already cleared it with my mom. Seriously, I just mention your name and she's likely to let me have it for a whole year at least. Plus Todoroki's is back up in working order so the agency is covered too."
Damn, why'd he have to be so good at planning from time to time! You'd completely forgotten about the second jet his family had. Always opting for the larger one since the few missions they needed it for required them to bring fifty or so heroes along.
"Besides, if we fly private, we can land at an airstrip closer to the venue and won't need to drive four hours on top of a ten-hour flight."
"Alright, okay, thank you but, let me take care of the rental car, please. It's the least you can let me do."
"Deal. I just have one more question for ya."
"What's that?"
"Wanna leave tonight?"
You nearly dropped your damn iPad in shock. "Eijiro! What the fuck has gotten into you! It's the middle of the night!"
"I'm excited!" He boomed, "I haven't had a vacation in months!"
"I hate to break this to you, buddy, but this isn't going to be a vacation. You really shouldn't get your hopes up. This isn't going to be a good time with laughs and fun memories... my family, they just, they aren't those kinds of people."
"But we are." He stated matter-of-factly. "If they want to have sticks up their asses then let them! We'll have a good time on our own, laugh and make fun memories! So, what do you say, Y/N? I can be at your place in fifteen. I just gotta put shoes on and grab my keys..."
"Wait, hang on. Are you forgetting that we need someone to, oh, I dunno, FLY THE PLANE! Actually, we need two someone's, can't forget about a co-pilot!"
He hummed happily and you rubbed your temples. "You, you have a pilot and a co, don't you, Eiji?"
"Mhm! There is a company we use. Two can be at the hanger in an hour and every hour after that. I just have to make the call and get the flight plan approved which will be done before I even get to your house."
There was literally no reason to say no. You had mostly everything packed, nothing you needed to get from the store, all you had to do was put on pants and pack up your hygiene bag and you were ready too. Maybe getting there quicker and getting the whole thing over with would be better than staying home dwelling on everything.
"Better put your shoes on."
The glee in his voice, that was enough to make this whole thing worth it, "I'll see you soon."
>>><<<
Eijiro reached into the backseat and plopped a bag down on your lap the very moment you were buckled in. "Had to make a pit stop." He explained.
"It's after two in the morning, where'd you have to..."
"Just open the bag and don't complain."
You found it filled to the brim with all your favorite snacks.
"I'm sure the plane will have a bunch of snacks we can raid but I know for a fact they don't have these." He held up a pack of cookies and creme flavored pocky that had been his favorite for as long as you'd known him, quickly followed by your favorite flavor too. You also found a massive bag of gummy worms and jolly ranchers.
"So, what you're telling me is our teeth are going to rot by the time we land? Not that I'm complaining."
You ripped open the bag of ranchers knowing that was what he'd go for first and sure enough his hand dove inside just as he pulled away from the curb. You could hear his dangerously sharp teeth biting through the rock candy like it was nothing while you still rolled one around your mouth.
Eijiro asked you about the resort you'd be going to, wondering if you'd been there before or what other stuff you guys could do when you weren't dealing with your family. "I figured we could fly back Monday night or Tuesday morning, you know, just play it by ear in case there was anything else we wanted to do."
More than anything, you wished you could just leech a little bit of that excitement from him. The glimpses of his smile you caught as you drove under the street lights made your heart ache.
"What?" He asked with that wide smile of his. You'd been caught staring, red-handed.
"I, uh, I just don't know what to tell you."
You could see the subtle change of his grin, watch as it softened and his hand came to rest on your thigh. "Hey, it's gonna be fine! And if we run into them while out doing stuff, you can just avoid them or hide behind me!" At least hiding behind Eijiro is an easy thing to do, damn mountain of a man.
His thumb slowly brushed back and forth. "'S gonna be okay. I'll beat 'em up if they're assholes!"
You snickered at his Katsuki impression and let the drone of the radio fill the air around you both. Enjoying the silence the rest of the way to the hanger with Eijiro's hand atop your leg.
487 notes
·
View notes
Text
Poly!Yandere! Big Three in a Relationship
Request: Maybe poly!yandere! Big Three x reader? Maybe sfw and nsfw hcs? 👉👈
A/N: I really like the big three. I think they’re really interesting characters and i hope we get more of them
-
SFW:
Being in a relationship with the Big Three would be anyone’s dream. They’re all attractive, high-ranking heroes, and seem to get along great with each other. It’s the dream to be in their relationship. They’re fawned over and most people would gladly trade places with you. To date the Big Three is truly something to be proud of. They might be obsessive, but that only adds to their charm. Who can blame them? When you’re heroes, you make enough enemies eventually. They only want to protect you and if that means using their connections and resources to figure where you are and with you, then it might be a bit extensive, but it’s only because they care for you so much.
While polyamorous relationships aren't unusual in hero society, it is still a bit of a rarity- especially when they seem perfect like the Big Three. You have the childhood best friends, the beauty queen, and then you, the sweet, little naïve partner who is coddled and cared for. You’re the talk of the news- magazines, headlines, interviews and whatever else there could be, it’s about you and your relationship. While you would have preferred to be kept on the sidelines- the less that know, the better- they can’t help but be thrilled. Now people will know who you belong to without having to say a word. It’s a nice relationship, where they each hold a different part of power over you, keeping you nice and submissive, letting you fall onto their lap as they tell you that you can’t go anywhere now. You can’t start a new life when everyone knows who you are and who you are dating.
Tamaki still holds a bit of his more introverted nature, and when he isn’t out protecting society, he’s at home with you. He has you in his strong grip, sitting beside him as he bulks up for his next day on the job. He loves to touch you, to have you on his lap as his face is buried in your chest, his nails pressing into your skin, dragging down when you try to move away from him. When Tamai is in charge of you, he hardly ever lets you go out. He much rather have you to himself, where no one can witness you nor him. There really is no escape in the home that you share. He knows all the hiding places, and has made sure- along with Mirio- to place cameras where he thinks that you would hide. If you ever seem to entertain the idea of leaving, he’d fall into such a depressive state that the rest of the household would be angry towards you and you can’t have that.
Nejire is sweet. She holds a bit of motherly tendencies, cooking for you, bathing you, and even dressing you up as if you were her little doll. She loves to keep you in such a cute state, to make sure that you look the best that you can be- after all, you are dating the Big Three. Her curious nature makes it perfect- she’s so calming to talk to that you often forget just how powerful she is, just how much control she has over you. All your worries and insecurities are questioned, counter-attacked, and in turn, when he brushes just a bit too harshly on your hair, she reminds you that you can’t really break-up with them if you wanted to. It wouldn’t work out. You don’t have friends. You’ve cut off your family. Who would ever take you in? Especially if they learned just how heartbroken they were if it were your fault.
Mirio is the one who treats you with the most care, he hardly ever gets angry at you. He really is like the sun- bright and all consuming. If you’ve ever gotten into a spat with another, he’s always the first to help you mend things. He’ll do anything to make you smile and will gift you whatever you need in order for that. In turn, all that he asks for is that you stay around him for the longest. Just latch onto him and let him worry about everything that has to do with the household. If you need to go out, he’s sure that Nejire can make time and in turn, he’ll let you take his card- seeing as you don’t have one. He’s so happy, so cheerful, that when he does get angry, it’s terrifying. Tamaki was right. There really is nowhere to hide in the home, because he always seems to find you. His grip is firm, digging and bruising your skin as he tells you to never disobey and run off again. Once done, he flips the switch and he’s wiping your tears and telling you another joke as he pulls you to his arms.
NSFW:
While having a train or a foursome isn’t all that uncommon, they also like to take turns. Tamaki will fill you with his quirk, tentacles inside of you as his cock is buried deep inside of your aching hole. In the sidelines, Nejire will have her hand wrapped around Mirio, and you’re sure if there weren’t tears in your eyes, you’d see her spirals flickering in and out. Mirio’s fingers will be buried knuckle deep as they watch Tamaki rail you. Nejire will have her tongue lap at your sex, her quirk in effect, your body tense and on pins and needles as she keep you close to her, suckling on your sweet arousal. Mirio and Tamaki will have their hands on each other’s cocks, Tamaki’s face red as he watches you orgasm while Mirio pumps his cock, even if semen has spilled. Mirio will be relentless, pushing your face into the mattress, his hands gripping and teasing at your pebbled nipples. Nejire will be perched above on Tamaki's cock, both trying to watch as Mirio fucks you senseless.
If you did fail to listen to either of them, then they’re less than kind to you. They’ll spread your legs, tease at your waiting hole and press soft kisses against your slit, as they tie your ankles and wrists. A vibrator is pushed inside of you, your body shaking and teased at by either their mouths or hands. They edge you until you’re crying. Tears streaming down your face and wetting the bed sheet under you, your hands in tight fists as you beg and cry to not misbehave again. You have to promise to do better. To smile more and hold their hand, to listen when they say that they’re tired from work. You have to be a good little house pet, and know them. They care for you of course, but it’s hard to believe that when they keep rejecting your orgasm just to see you cry.
They all really just like to see your face contort into something less than innocent. They want to see you cry, to see you shake and beg for them to slow down or to give you a break, but they won’t. You have to please three different people who all have amazing stamina and at the end of it, you’re left overstimulated. Your body shakes throughout the night and any type of touch is jolts of electricity shot through you. And even then, when you’re crying and gripping onto scarred skin, your pleas of rest are shushed with a kiss as you’re lowered onto a cock to sit on. If it isn’t cockwarming, then you're meant to kiss at Nejire’s cunt until she lets you up, but there’s also a part of her that just wants to please you. She’ll kiss at your sex and suckle on your arousal until you’re patting at the top of her head to let you rest, that’s it all too much.
This is more of Nejire’s thing, but she loves to have you suck on her breasts. It’s one of the few times she isn’t trying to fight for your attention or get jealous at how the others make you cream all over their cocks. She gets to have you for herself. To feel your mouth latch onto her nipple and tease the hard bud with the tip of your tongue. It’s the few times you ever get to have her so nurturing. To pet your hair and have her other hand teasing with your sex. All you have to do is suckle on her breast, to hollow your cheeks and beg for her to make you orgasm while her fingers are deep inside of you massaging at your gummy walls that clench around her. It’s one of the few times that she’ll ever be sweet during sex- petting your hair, allowing you to cream, and rest. All you have to do is nurse on her and thank her.
In the earlier parts of the relationship, you still wanted your freedom, you wanted to go out and live a life separate from them, but they were able to snuff that flame out. Even now, you hold onto your stubbornness and they can’t help but coo at how silly you’ve gotten. They'll wrap a collar around your neck and force you to walk around on your hands as you don puppy ears with a tail placed inside of you. You aren’t allowed to walk on all fours, or speak and if you want something, you’ll have to nudge at a leg and point at what you want. It’s humiliating but you can see just how much it arouses them- the tent in their pants, the hands that pull on your nipples, the way the toy is moved around inside of you. You’ll learn our place soon enough and when you have, they’ll treat you to something nice as a reward.
#bnha#bnha headcanons#poly big three#tamaki x reader#tamaki amajiki x reader#tamaki amajiki headcanons#tamaki amajiki#amajiki tamaki#amajiki tamaki x reader#tamaki amajiki smut#nejire hado#nejire hado x reader#nejire hado headcanons#hado nejire#hado nejire x reader#mirio togata#mirio togata x reader#mirio togata headcanons#togata mirio#togata mirio x reader#i hope you like it!#i think this is my first time writing for them like together#ive done poly before but that was way back in the day
498 notes
·
View notes
Text
COIN TOSS– PART II
(18+ MINORS DNI)
PART I
PAIRINGS: Tomura Shigaraki x Reader, a little Shouta Aizawa x Reader
SUMMARY: As you fall asleep, you wonder faintly, almost sadly, if you’re the first thing he’s fully touched without losing in a long time.
You are Eraserhead’s troubled protege with a Quirk that cancels out others the moment they touch you. Tomura Shigaraki takes great interest in you.
(Enemies to lovers, a lot of angst, some hurt/comfort)
WARNINGS: Unhealthy/complicated relationships, age gap/power struggle, violence, gore, Tomura’s trauma specifically, (in later chapters) murder, heroes’ abuse of power, smut, some blurred lines, rough sex, a smidge of a spit kink, a smidge of somnophilia (let me know if I’ve missed anything!)
If you are under the age of 18, you should not be reading or interacting with this!
A/N: again, thank you @randomrosewrites for beta-ing!! and thank you guys for the support and comments on the first part! here is your part two!! it's tomura heavy, but for those who love shouta, there's a lot of him in the final part! i hope you enjoy! let me know what you thought!
i also am obsessed with making playlists for when i write and i spend far too much time organizing it all and making sure the songs blend together so if you'd like to take a look at the playlist i made for this fic, it's here!
Read on Ao3
***
Shouta, like the responsible adult he is, soothes things out with you. Well, it doesn’t feel very soothed to you, but Shouta’s made his position clear and you’ve both returned to some semblance of normalcy.
He keeps his distance.
You try not to overstep, but you’re aching and furious.
(You’re holding a secret, too, letting it tear apart your insides, letting it turn circles in your mind until all you can think about is the chill of rain, the bite of a desperate kiss).
You hate that Shouta has retreated from you now. You hate that he’ll stop his hand before reaching out to touch you, like he always has to make sure, like he has to decide if that will be good for you. If you can handle it.
You feel shockingly alone.
You lash out at him more, bicker and argue over things you never used to. You don’t even know why you do it, can’t stop yourself from trying to dig into him. You regret it every time when all he gives you is impassiveness, levelheaded coolness. An adult speaking with an unruly child. He’s good at that, unfortunately.
Some days you want to beg him for answers. Why can’t you love me the way I love you? Is it me? How would you have me? If I was older? I can be more mature, I can be better and better and better–
His undercover work grows greater, draws him away from both you and Shinsou more. Shouta seems to ghost around your life now, drawn away from you, keeping a very careful space between you both.
But there are nights where he tells you to train with Shinsou alone now. You feel responsible. Mature. You glow with pride that he can trust you with one of his students, that you could be a mentor to Shinsou, too.
You grow closer to Shinsou because of this, too, when it’s just the two of you in the gym.
There is one evening in particular, when you’re both sprawled out on the floor taking a too-long water break because Shouta isn’t around when he admits that he used to be– still is sometimes– feared for his Quirk.
He tells you everyone expected him to be a villain.
“I used to be a thief,” you admit, “I was a petty villain, I guess.”
Shinsou looks at you and if he’s surprised, he doesn’t entirely show it, except for the lifting of his brows. You don’t sense judgement from him, though, when he asks, “Really?”
You take another swig of water, humming in affirmation. You swallow, “I was homeless, had no money, nothing. I was stealing from a supermarket when Shouta caught me.”
“You were just trying to survive,” Shinsou adds, like he’s trying to justify the crime, like it soothes him to know there was a good reason for a misdeed.
“Sure,” you reply, fiddling with your water bottle, “But I stole things I didn’t need, too. Just things I wanted.”
“But you’ve changed,” Shinsou says and you can’t tell if he’s trying to reassure himself or you more. “You’re a hero now.”
“Only because my circumstances changed. I was given a roof over my head, food to fill me. Clothes of my own that fit and weren’t torn. I was accepted.” You explain, “If it hadn’t been for Shouta, I would never have become a hero.”
Shinsou is silent, watching you.
“I’d probably be in jail. Or still a thief, in the least, if any other hero would’ve caught me.”
You don’t know why, but you think of Shigaraki suddenly. You think of how young some of the League of Villains are. You wonder if it had been them who offered you food and a home, if you’d be with them now, and not here, sitting on the floor of a nice, sparkling gym attached to U.A.’s dorms.
Something strange grows inside you, something a little bitter. It simmers with sympathy for them, for their lives. For kids like Shinsou with their villainous quirks. You wonder if he’d been poor, if he’d been alone, would he be here, too? Or somewhere else?
“But you were good before,” he says, and it almost feels naive, “I know you’re good.”
You shrug, “Good is relative, you know? I thought I was good because I didn’t kill people, I didn’t steal from other poor people, but society didn’t think I was good. I was still a thief.”
“But you were only a thief because you needed to survive.” he says again, “When given the chance, you changed and became a hero.”
“Exactly.” you say, “How many villains do you think just needed a chance?”
Shinsou goes silent now. His brows furrow in thought, pinching together in a way that makes him look a little too old for his age. You think all of the kids at U.A. grow up too quickly, all of them with too much on their small shoulders.
They’re only kids.
You’re barely older.
Shigaraki is barely older than you.
You push him out of your mind, toss your water bottle aside, and rise to your feet again. “C’mon,” you offer Shinsou your hand to help him up, too, “Shouta would kill me to know I let you lay around so much.”
This seems to pull him from his thoughts and he snorts, taking your hand.
You pull him up. And you both stare at each other a moment. You think he looks at you in a different light now and it isn’t bad, no, he seems to be pondering you more.
(And you’ll realize later that he’s become more sympathetic, that he sees you in villains now, reminds himself they’re people, too, with lives and needs and wants–)
It gives you a strange hope, as you begin to train with him again, to know that he’s the future of hero society.
***
Tomura spots you while he’s out stealing with Toga. Usually it’s Twice or Magne with her, but Twice was onto something else and Toga had decided to latch herself onto him for the day. He’s grown to tolerate her.
Besides, she’d managed to steal him a jean jacket, dark, rough, and worn with holes but it keeps him warmer while still being able to keep the hood of his sweatshirt up to hide himself. To blend in. She’d stolen herself something, too, as the weather begins to get colder and they still don’t have a base, wandering aimlessly.
(He feels stupidly responsible for them. But he’s learned good leaders are, in some way, responsible for their people. They don’t have to care in any way that is emotional, but they have to care in some way, make the group feel important to them. And begrudgingly, they are important to him–)
You’re with a boy around Toga’s age. Wild violet hair. You’re laughing at something he’s saying and you’re sharing street food, he thinks, something that’s warm, steaming up into the air.
He feels a vicious surge of jealousy for a moment. It’s so sharp and jarring that he reaches up to scratch at his neck, tearing into his skin.
But the boy looks too young and you tousle his hair like he’s a younger brother, not someone romantic. While there’s familiarity between you two, it’s not overly intimate.
Toga, unfortunately, follows his line of sight.
She looks between him and you. She tilts her head and Tomura can practically see the gears turning in her strange little mind.
“Do you know them?” she asks, almost innocently.
He doesn’t know why, but he says, “Just her.”
Toga looks back at you. She watches as you talk with the boy– the sun through the autumn leaves cast you in tangerine light, all golden and warm.
When she looks back at Tomura, a smile creeps onto her face. One that he knows is going to give him a migraine.
“She’s so pretty,” she trills, eyeing him too closely.
Tomura scratches at his neck again, harder, wincing a little when he feels a cut reopen.
“Do you have a crush, Tomura?” Toga sings, dancing in front of him to force herself into his line of sight.
“No,” Tomura snaps, bristling, which only seems to encourage her.
“Let’s say hi!” she says, about to bound off and Tomura catches her by the scruff of her jacket like a kitten. He’s wearing his partial gloves, but he still keeps a finger away from her.
“No,” he hisses, firmer now, pulling her back towards him. “They’re heroes. Don’t get distracted.”
Toga twists in his hold, wide-eyed for a moment, before her face settles into another enormous and excited smile. “You’re in love with a hero, too?!”
Tomura grits his teeth, snarling out, “I’m not in love with anyone.” He shakes her then and she yelps a little, “Now focus. We need food and I don’t want to deal with them.”
Toga finally squirms her way out of his hold, pouting at him, “You’re no fun.” she whines and all he does is shoulder past her. He stalks ahead, trying not to look at you again, if only to not draw your eye.
“Do you want to starve?” he asks waspishly, glancing at Toga over his shoulder.
She huffs, rolling her eyes, before hustling to catch up to him. She hums a strange little tune the rest of the time, knocking into his side, throwing him new looks as if to suggest they share some sort of commonality or secret. He grits his teeth but suffers through her torment.
When they return to the rest of the League with what they’d stolen, Toga announces to the whole group, “Tomura is in love with a hero, too!”
The migraine that had begun earlier in his temples reaches full force now. He doesn’t bother trying to deny it. He decides he doesn’t care.
Dabi’s laugh grates on him, though, “Is that so? Which little hero?” he asks Toga, and just as she’s skipping past him, he snags her, snatching the granola bar she’d had in her hand from their little raid.
She turns to grab it back and he pulls it out of her reach, “I don’t know! Give that back!” she squawks, clawing at him.
She must really dig at him because Dabi hisses, “You little twerp–” Just before Magne snatches the outstretched granola bar from Dabi’s hand. She hands it back to Toga, who quickly rushes off with it now.
And thankfully, for Tomura’s sanity, you’re not brought up again.
But he hadn’t noticed you– hadn’t noticed the way you’d seen him with Toga, too. Just a girl Shinsou’s age, following after him like an eager puppy.
Shinsou had trailed beside you like that, too, when you’d both walked back to U.A. with full bellies and new coffees in hand, warm and content.
***
There is a night where Shouta is out doing work undercover and you’re left to patrol on your own. You can’t take Shinsou yet, since he hasn’t earned his provisional license. You don’t mind these nights, by yourself, when you stick to shadows and rooftops, watching the city from above.
It’s cooler now and you tuck your face into the high collar of your hero uniform to hide from the wind that brushes past.
It’s been a quiet night so far. There are other, flashier heroes patrolling, too, meandering around the sidewalks to deter petty crime.
You check the time on your phone, noting that you have a little less than an hour until your shift is over, until you can go home and take a hot shower in an attempt to warm yourself up– especially your fingers, the tips of your ears.
You stretch, standing on one of the low roofs of a building. You’re stiff from crouching, so you decide to move around, change position. You use a grappling tool to shoot it onto a higher roof of the next building. You scale the bricks easily and once safely up, retract your grappling hook.
You look out over the quiet city, the golden light of lampposts, the meandering of cars through the streets. Some restaurants and bars are still open, their windows look warm and inviting with the flush of people inside.
You waste most of the last hour of your shift trying to remain warm, keeping a careful eye on the world below.
Towards the end, you notice a familiar figure in one of the alleyways down below. You don’t even see his face, just the back of his hoodie, just the angle of his shoulders.
Just the way he walks.
The thought should frighten you– that you know him like this, that you’re familiar with just the movement of his body.
Shigaraki Tomura walks away from the soft light of the main city, slips away into alleyways and darkness. You glance at the time. Your shift is nearly over.
This counts as hero work, doesn’t it? Silently following after him?
You drop down onto a fire escape– leap off to latch onto a lower window sill, until you’re dropping silently on to the ground a distance away from him.
You are careful to keep away from him, to use everything Shouta taught you about stealth to remain hidden. And you know Shigaraki is observant, you know he’s always looking over his shoulder so you have to stick to hidden places– behind dumpsters, ducking into alcoves of buildings.
He heads back to the part of the city you grew up in, where everything is falling apart, where there are plenty of abandoned buildings for hiding, plenty of places for runaway teens and homeless to sleep. The cheapest apartments, the streets that are the least patrolled by heroes and police alike, where parts of the Yakuza groups are bolder.
These streets are familiar to you. It’s a strange trip down memory lane.
You think of the last time you saw Shigaraki and flush darkly– it was around here, too, what happened that night.
Still, you follow him because you think you still have some upper hand. Maybe he’ll lead you to the rest of the League of Villains. For a heartbeat, you wonder if you’ll tell Shouta, if you’ll tell the Hero Commissions– you’d have to, right? That isn’t some little squirmish. That’s important information.
But he doesn’t lead you to the rest of the League.
He leads you to an apartment building, small and falling apart on the outside. A window is boarded up poorly. There are stray cats that linger around the side, where the trash is. You’re sure there are rats and bugs, too. You’re sure the building is one bad day away from falling apart.
Shigaraki pauses by the door that is nearly falling off its hinges.
He glances over his shoulder, “Are you following me in, too?”
Your heart kicks up, hammering against the inside of your chest. You swallow hard, internally cursing.
For all your effort of stealth, he still noticed you?
Well, there’s no use lying about it now.
You step around the corner you’d been hiding behind, moving towards the glow of a street light that flickers in and out of power to reveal yourself fully to him.
“When did you notice me?” you ask, peering at him, at the shape of him in the dark.
You catch the lifting of his scar when he smiles, just a baring of teeth, “I saw you on the roof.”
Damn, you curse again, you’ll have to work on that, “That bad, huh?”
He shrugs gracelessly, lifting of his shoulders only for them to fall unevenly, “If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have known. You were silent otherwise.”
It feels like a compliment– a generous one, coming from him. You don’t know why you have to hold off a smile.
He turns back to the door, shouldering it open. He walks through the archway without another word. He leaves it open and it seems there is no light on the inside, just a blackness that swallows up your vision. He disappears inside.
You stand there, beneath the light that flickers in and out, eyeing the doorway. You could go now, run back home to Shouta, to the Hero Commission and tell them you think you know where he stays, you have a lead on him. You look behind you, glance at the alleyway you came from with it’s’ dull, fluorescent lights that splash against the concrete, that barely fight against the shadows.
You look back towards where Shigaraki had been, the entrance to the building.
You’d probably even get extra little hero points for it from the Commission.
Shouta would be proud of you.
For bringing them to this dilapidated, shabby little apartment complex that rests on the streets of the place you used to call home.
You swallow hard, flex your freezing fingers.
Then you step towards the doorway, peer inside carefully. You hold your breath and the door creaks quietly when you cross it’s threshold, into the darkness.
Tomura is mildly surprised when he hears the door creak behind him. He can feel you, even in the dark of this hallway, the tentative steps you take after him. They’re almost shy.
But you followed him, didn’t you?
You followed and followed and followed him– and of course you did, he thinks, you had kissed him back, hadn’t you?
He supposes you could be playing a part, trying to get close to him but his intuition tells him differently, not with the genuine reaction you’d had. Your sudden guilt for giving in to him. Still, he’ll be careful around you.
He’ll probably have to move again, which would be a shame, since he has already killed the tenant of this apartment– he’d been sure they wouldn’t be missed by anyone, made sure he’d have time. He did the work to get it, thought he’d have it for just long enough until the League made another move.
He almost wants to test you, see if you’re going to run and tattle on his location. He wonders how far you’re willing to follow him.
Tomura walks steadily down the hallway, to the apartment he has taken claim to. He unlocks the door, hands in his partial gloves, shoving it with his shoulder to then enter. He leaves it open for you.
The apartment is a studio, shabby and the heat isn’t amazing, but it has hot water and a lack of bugs in this particular room. It has furniture– a bed, specifically, was all he had cared about. There’s empty wrappers of food and cans of energy drinks on the counters because he doesn’t really bother to pick up after himself but otherwise, the space isn’t his. There’s nothing else of his, besides some spare clothes on the floor.
And still, you follow him here, too. But you stand at the doorway, peeking inside.
He glances at you and is reminded of a fox, something with clever eyes but wary, a little skittish– would bite if he got too close too soon.
So he gives you space, just like he let you leave.
If there’s one thing Tomura has learned, it’s patience. Any good plan takes patience. The reward is always sweeter. The longer and harder the level, the greater the wins.
He ignores you, puts even more distance between the two of you as he wanders further in. He flicks on lights. He takes off his shoes, shrugs off his jean jacket and throws it over the couch. He gives the appearance of carelessness, of letting his guard down. Non threatening.
And you take your fist shy step inside. The door behind you remains ajar, though, for escape.
Tomura has to fight a terrifying smile, fight the sudden twisting in his heart, the inhale of his breath.
“I don’t know how wise it was of you to bring a hero to your home.” you finally speak, cutting through the silence. You’re trying to be witty, but he can tell you’re nervous.
“This isn’t my home,” he answers.
Home, with it’s round and warm syllabus, is not what he thinks of this place.
You eye him some more, but before you can respond, he says, “I don’t know how wise it was of you to follow a villain into his home.”
“I thought it wasn’t your home,” you quip and he only gives you a dry look.
Your bravado is wavering, especially when the door clicks shut behind you, your hand finally falling to your side.
And the two of you are sealed away from the outside world.
“Why did you bring me here?” you ask him and your voice is deceptively quiet. Small.
“Why did you follow me?” he asks in return.
You inhale like you’re trying to steady yourself, “Because I’m supposed to.”
Tomura smiles now, something lazy, almost amused. He knows it’s a lie, can feel it slide along his skin, can see the floundering, desperate look in your eyes.
“Why did you follow me?” he asks again, forcing himself not to move, not to step towards you in his budding excitement. Patience, he tells himself, be patient.
“Why did you kiss me?” you ask instead and the question is raw, as if it’s plagued you, haunted you like an insistent ghost. Crept around in the back of your mind, growing teeth and fangs and spindly, lampshade bat wings large enough to terrify you.
The idea that he’s taken root in your mind in the same way you have infested his is near dizzying.
Tomura weighs his answers carefully. He’s silent for a long moment and it’s heavy, charged with something that he can’t name– has never felt before.
When he speaks, his voice is just a rasp of breath, a little more honest than he’d like, a touch annoyed with the truth, “Because I wanted to.”
Another long stretch of silence where you watch him carefully, where he can see your chest rising and falling too quickly. He can see that frightened look in the rounding of your eyes, the high flush in your cheeks.
And when you speak again, it’s hardly louder than a whisper, like it’s all you can manage,“Do you want to kiss me again?”
It is far too gentle of a question for what he wants– it almost feels innocent, juvenile. Out of place between the two of you. But he’ll take it, he’ll take whatever you give him and then some.
He takes a step towards you. You don’t flinch away so he takes another, then another, until he is standing in front of you. You’re close now– so close that he has to force air into his lungs. He reminds himself of patience, of waiting–
He could take whatever he wanted from you now, he supposes, but he doesn’t want to have to wrestle you for it. He wants it given freely, he wants you to kiss back, like you had before. He wants you to willingly submit and it’s taken longer but it’ll be sweeter, so much sweeter.
“Are you going to run away again?” he asks and he can feel his heart quicken, the squeezing of it awful and tight.
You look up at him in a way that reminds him of his dreams, the ones he pretends to hate, where you make those small, soft noises. Where you let him touch you and taste you and have you.
And you shake your head no, just fractionally, the barest hint of movement but it’s enough for him.
The force of his kiss slams you back against the door. You make a surprised noise against him as he crushes himself to you. It’s just as violent as the first, but this time you take back what he gives. You get your bearings quicker, like you’ve learned a lesson already. He grins into the kiss, opening it, when he feels your little hands clawing at his shoulders, at his back.
He groans when you part your lips for him, when you lick tentatively into his mouth. He possesses you, bears onto you, pinning you to the door as his hands, still gloved, curl around your sides, your hips.
Your hero costume is tight, fits the curves of you snugly and in a way that’s making him nearly insane. He isn’t careful, doesn’t care if he’s moving too fast now as his hands roam and grab and squeeze. There’s layers between you, he naturally keeps a finger lifted away.
One of your hands tightens in his hair, pulling when he bites your bottom lip.
But you don’t seem to mind, either, with the way your breath is hitching, with the way you’re trying to pull him closer, desperately fuse him to you.
Your lips are so soft, he notices, even with the forcefulness with which you’re kissing him back.
It feels surreal for a moment, like one of his dreams, when he parts from your mouth only to slot his lips against your jaw, your neck. A whine is loosened from you, which breaks when he sets teeth to the vulnerable line of your throat.
Your hands are in his hair still, body arching into him eagerly. Youthful in your earnestness.
You’re better than anything he could’ve ever imagined, so alive and rosy and warm beneath his hands, beneath his mouth, which is making a mess of your neck. A particular hard suck over the sensitive line of your pulse makes you pull at his hair.
“Don’t leave a mark,” you hush and he thinks you meant to sound more threatening, but it’s softened by the desperation in your voice.
He scoffs into your throat, dragging teeth roughly along your skin.
“Shigaraki–”
“Tomura.” he corrects without thinking, finally pulling away to look at you, which is almost a mistake because you–
You’re flushed, lips kiss stung and pink, all swollen. Your head is tipped back, exposing the column of your throat, hair mussed with being pressed to the door so roughly. Your eyes are hazy and fever pink with your Quirk activated, like spring flowers, glowing in the low light.
He thinks of paintings and colors and dreams, something like beauty, if he knew anything about that.
And he’s so hard it hurts, teeth grinding together as he looks at you because he can’t even fucking stomach this feeling.
Then you repeat his name for him, “Tomura.”
He’s never heard his name like that, bedroom soft, more of a lullaby and less of a tragedy. He feels like he’s going to shake apart, his body to become just old ruins– he feels as if it’ll collapse inwards, topple over to crush his heart.
Where he’s usually seething and livid and clawing ruthlessly, the festering feeling in his chest is replaced with a new energy; something bursting and squirming and warm. His Quirk lies dormant and docile inside of him with your hand in his hair, your other now at his neck, fingers pressing lightly at his jaw.
It’s terrifying, he realizes, to not feel his Quirk at the edges of his fingers.
(It’s freeing, too, he’ll come to find, to not feel it’s weight, it’s demand that had been encouraged and shaped in him.)
You’re both trying to catch your breaths, looking at each other now. His fingers, still gloved, flex and squeeze at your waist, like he’s scared you’ll run off again.
You inch forward instead, rock onto the tips of your toes to press your lips to his again– softer this time, but no less heated, no less desperate.
He thinks you must be starving, too, with the way you pull him close. His mouth slants over yours, demanding more, a little rougher.
You squirm against the door, the slightest rocking of your hips– he can feel it against his thigh, against his waist. It makes him hiss out a breath against your lips, makes him grab harder at your waist, force you to do it again, harder this time.
You whine and it’s the snapping of his patience.
He reaches for the zipper at the back of your hero uniform, gives it a rough tug, pulling it down some. And then you’re pushing at him, nudging him away from the door and it’s a flurry of movement as you yank at his hoodie while he pulls at your clothes. You’re both stumbling further into the room, towards the bed pushed back into the corner.
Tomura feels young suddenly– feels his age. He feels like a twenty something year old with a girl in his apartment who wants his hoodie off. Who's kissing him hard in between every article of clothing that manages to come off.
He sits back on the edge of the bed to ease the rest of your cat-suit down. He watches with interest as you wiggle your hips to help him get the fabric down over you– and it’s nothing romantic, he doesn’t kiss the newly revealed skin, he doesn’t gently run his fingertips over you, but you grow shy under his gaze.
You’re still in undergarments, athletic slips of fabric, but his eyes fly over your face. You’re nervous, he can nearly feel it, with the way you shift, with the way you catch your bottom lip between your teeth and worry it.
A thought strikes him.
“Have you done this before?” he rasps, hooking his hand in the crux of your knee to drag your forward so you nearly fall into his lap.
“Yes,” you grit out, arms coming up to his shoulders to steady yourself. “Once.” you then shakily exhale.
He doesn’t particularly care– your answer wouldn’t have changed how he’d treat you. He’s not going to be gentler nor slower because you’re less experienced.
“Have you?” you ask, eyeing him, fingers nervously toying with the ends of his hair.
“Yes,” he says, perhaps too sharply, but he gives no other information and you don’t press him, which he’s thankful for. He doesn’t have the patience for useless questions.
Rather, he pulls you down harder, so your bare thighs finally settle into his lap. He slides his gloved hands up the notches of your ribs to hitch beneath your bra. That comes off, too, and then he’s got his hands on you more. You gasp, arching into his touch when his fingers curl around a breast, fingers roughly brushing over the peak.
He doesn’t think anymore, just acts, just moves and does as he pleases. All the things he’s done in dreams or in his mind– he sets lips and teeth to your breast, tongue laving over your nipple. He forces your squirming still with an arm banded around your torso, keeping you flush to his eager mouth.
You yelp in pain when he uses his teeth too roughly, trying to jerk away from him but you can’t with his hold on you. He grins, mouth opening, spit slick and wet against your breast again. He groans against you when you pull on his hair.
But then he twists you, throws you down onto the bed only to crawl over you. He yanks at your panties just as you pull him down for another kiss– maybe to distract yourself, to settle your nerves. When you pull away, you’re on your back and he’s over you, your legs hitching over his narrow waist. His hands are on your thighs and you–
You suddenly grab for his hands.
“Take off your gloves,” you get out, breathless, and before he can respond, your fingers are sliding against his wrist, up to his hand, beneath the glove and against his palm.
It makes him shiver, makes him grit his teeth. You pull off one, then the other.
For a moment, he just looks at you all spread out and bare for him, his hands now open and uncovered, too.
You squirm under his scrutinizing gaze.
“C’mon,” you coax and he thinks you’re trying to find your bravado, “Touch me.”
There’s nothing between his hands and your skin now and he settles his palm on your stomach, beneath your breast.
He naturally keeps a finger lifted away.
“Tomura,” your voice is pitched, almost pleading, “You’re not going to hurt me– c’mon.”
He tenses for a moment, eyes flashing over your face. For a moment, his heart stumbles, he grows wary. He thinks of you slipping away beneath his touch, falling away into nothing and all he’d have is a bed of ashes.
But your eyes are bright with your Quirk.
His final finger comes down. Nothing happens, except you smile a little, except you arch up into his touch– alive and vivid and furiously warm.
He feels like he can’t breathe, can’t even function.
He catches a groan behind his teeth, falls forward as his hands become feverish and possessive, suddenly confident, suddenly brash– touching and squeezing and grabbing at you.
His teeth clank with yours as he tumbles into another kiss. You’re needier now, making those higher pitched noises that used to haunt him.
It drives him insane, makes him feel half feral, overeager and desperate. His fingers wander lower, seeking and searching, just as the kiss grows in intensity again. It’s messier, all open mouth and tongue.
When he pulls away, a string of spit connects the two of you and he lets more of the saliva pooling in his mouth drip down with it, letting it fall between your open lips, some on your bottom lip, too. It’s depraved and dirty and his eyes simmer as he gazes down at you.
Your face scrunches up as you go to wipe at your mouth, and he hates it because all he can think of is how cute that face is.
“Gross,” you mewl, but his fingers finally move between your legs and–
And all he finds is that you’re hot and slick for him.
He has to grit his teeth to keep from moaning.
But you nearly cry at the touch, a pathetic little noise, hips jolting like you’re not sure if you want to go towards his touch or away.
“Gross, huh?” Tomura asks, voice low, the pad of his finger sliding easily, teasing you slowly before he goads, “Why are you so wet then?”
He sinks a finger in suddenly– just because he can. Just because he wants to watch your face screw up again, which it does, your mouth falling open, eyes squeezing shut.
“Hm?” he hums, amused with the way you’re gasping beneath him. He starts a slow but deep rhythm and–
And he’s had sex before, a handful of times, but it’d always been for him. He hadn’t cared how the other person felt, hadn’t cared to try and get them off. But now he suddenly wishes he had learned, if only for you, now. He wants you as obsessed as he is, wants you to feel as maddened as he feels.
Thankfully, you’re so expressive. And he doesn’t have to worry about his fingers. He can find the spot inside you that makes you toss your head back into the sheets and moan for him, he can focus on the way you keen when he finds your clit with his thumb.
You’re a sensitive little thing, clawing at his bare shoulders, whining into his neck. He forces in another finger and you start rocking your hips, growing more desperate until–
“Fuck,” you gasp, “Fuck, I’m going to–”
He curls his fingers harder, watching your face as you fall apart, as you try and twist and squirm beneath him. He forces you through it, isn’t gentle, but selfish, wringing everything he can from you.
And when he’s finished watching you whimper and feeling you flutter and gush around his fingers, he takes them out only to force them between your lips.
Once more your face screws up, but you close your mouth around them and he groans low and raw. You look hazy, drooling all over his fingers, lashes fluttering prettily.
He uses his other hand to fumble with his belt, to work his pants down low enough for his cock, aching so bad that he swears he’s going to go insane–
He pulls his fingers from your mouth, watching the mess that comes with it, so wet and slick and shiny. He can’t help the growl he gives, before covering his mouth with yours again.
As you kiss, sloppy and desperate, Tomura slides the head of his cock against you and you’re so slippery and soft and molten for him that his next moan tapers off into a whine.
You pull away fractionally, “Shouldn’t we–”
He thinks maybe you were about to ask about protection of some kind, but he shoves inside you hard, breaches your body and watches as your eyes roll back, just about to cross as your nails turn sharp against his back.
You moan, low and drawn out.
He can’t help the absurd laugh that is wretched from him, his head dropping onto your neck as he snaps his hips forward. He can’t believe he’s actually gotten you here, in his bed, beneath him– let him inside where you’re so warm and soft.
“Fuck,” you gasp, maybe laced with pain, clawing at him, raking your nails down his back.
“Does it hurt?” he hisses, excited, his teeth coming down to close over your exposed neck.
“Yes,” you get out, almost a whimper, “Feels good, too.”
He snaps his hip forwards roughly, grinding deep as he laughs again when you just about sob into his shoulder.
You latch your teeth onto the vulnerable juncture between his neck and his shoulder, where you’d already laid claim to him once before.
He wrestles for your wrist, the one he broke, and forces it down onto the bed.
“Look at you,” he almost snarls, voice low and gravely, “Little hero letting me fuck her.”
You gasp when he angles his hips, when his other hand reaches beneath you, to fist a hand in your hair and pull so your neck is arched and exposed to him.
“I used to dream of this,” he admits roughly, the confession like a curse being spit out of his mouth, “Wanted to stalk you or possess you or–” he groans because he can feel how you’re throbbing around him, how slick you are for him, “Wanted to fucking ruin you–”
He pulls at your hair more, tries to get you to look at him through your wet lashes. The flash of pink meets red and his smile is more a cruel bearing of teeth.
“And you feel so much better than I dreamt– fuck, so much tighter–” he babbles as he ruts into you hard and quick. You keen, high and broken, just as he feels you flutter around him again and he almost loses his mind because–
“Are you going to fucking come again?” he growls, pulling harder on your hair.
“Yes,” you groan, “Please, fuck, please, c’mon–” your voice is high and wrecked and all he has to do is angle his hips a few more times before you’re shattering, nearly breaking apart, squeezing down on his cock so tightly that he shudders, that he let’s go of your hair just to focus on his own pleasure.
He doesn’t even realize he’s drooling into your neck, not as he loses his rhythm, as he shoves himself as deep into you as he can and comes hard. Pleasure races up his spine, turns him white-hot and sensitive, making his eyes roll back into his head, too.
You’re both breathing hard when he collapses on top of you. Your fingers, which were once scratching down his back to cause sharp shooting pain, are now surprisingly gentle, slipping back into his hair.
You squirm, fussing slightly– no doubt sore, no doubt aching with him still inside you but he doesn’t move. Doesn’t want to.
He mouths at your neck, feels you sigh, before he moves to cover his mouth with yours again. He kisses you languidly now, slow and deep.
You’re making breathy little noises against him, content and surprisingly soft, your other hand tracing over his side.
(He doesn’t like how much he enjoys this part, the afterglow, all that violence slipping away, expelled from you both–)
Tomura feels his cock twitch inside of you again, feels your hips arch up a little, and before he knows it, he’s moving his hips again. It’s a slow rocking, your lips still attached to his, heated and gentle.
“Gross,” you say again, just a breath against him as he fucks his cum further into you, feels himself harden, feels the mess he made of you. But you still hitch your leg over his hip, pull him deeper into you.
He grins lazily against your lips, “You like it,” he says and it’s not a question, rolling his hips until he gets you to shut your eyes and moan against him.
“Yeah,” you reply, nudging your cheek against his, rubbing like a cat until he returns the gesture. Until he’s humming because he’s sensitive and you feel so good, better than anything he’s ever felt in this miserable fucking life–
You whine a little, ‘Touch me again?”
He doesn’t deny you for whatever reason, doesn’t even have something smart to say as he slides his hand down your torso, down to where you’re both slick and connected. He rubs unpracticed, messy circles around that sensitive bundle of nerves until you’re sighing.
He’s no expert but he doesn’t really care and you don’t seem to mind this time, either. It’s unhurried now, lazy.
This time your peak is a fluttery, soft thing, and he watches as you gasp, as you blink away tears. She’s pretty, he thinks, feeling stupidly young again, she’s pretty like this. Like his dreams.
Tomura spills inside you again soon after, groaning against your collarbones, and this time you force him to slip out of you. Force him to lay beside you as you both catch your breath again.
And he’s not expecting it, but he has the vicious need to be close to you, desperately wants to feel your skin against his. It’s a new feeling– usually after sex, he wants to be as far away from someone as possible. Usually he can’t leave or kick them out fast enough.
But there’s something about you now, hazy and pleasure-drunk, fucked out and dazed, that makes him want to stay close. Maybe it’s just that you’ve soothed all the festering that usually squirms in his chest. Maybe it’s just that you’ve made everything in him quiet for once.
He expects you to find some sort of your regret now, he’s sure that you’ll feel guilty, collect your clothes and go. But you don’t. You stay in bed with him. And it’s strange but he knows he wants to touch you, so he does. He doesn’t deny himself, why would he? He’s always taken what he wanted.
He curls around you, shivering a little with the skin to skin contact after the fog of sex has cleared from his mind. His hands slide over you, touch you fully and without restraint because he can, because you won’t disappear beneath his touch.
And for a moment, as he traces along the dips of your waist, he thinks maybe you were made for him– cut from his rib, isn’t that how the story goes?
He doesn’t know, only that there’s no one else in the world he can touch like this.
You’re surprised.
You’d figured after Tomura had his fill of you, he’d kick you out, send you away. You figured you’d feel guilty, that you would rush out of here and try to wish the whole thing away. But your hero suit stays on the floor and you’re still in his bed.
You didn’t think he’d be a cuddler, you assumed that he wouldn’t want nor care for any sort of contact after. But his arms are wrapped around you now, one of his hands sliding curiously over the curves of your body. All five fingers down, pressing into your skin.
But you suppose, for someone who has to be so careful with touch, that he would like this. That he might want this. You wonder if he ever gets to touch anyone like this, if he ever allows himself intimate touch like this– tender and for no other reason than to soothe or comfort.
You get the impression that he doesn’t, that touch is just a means to an end for him; sex is probably just an itch to scratch. You can’t imagine that he’s very relaxed or enjoying himself when he’s worried about decaying the person he’s with.
But all his crackling, restless energy now seems subdued, sated, as he walks his fingers over you. His hair tickles your bare skin as he nudges closer, nose running along your jaw.
Once more, you feel your age. You don’t feel like a hero, but just someone young, maybe on the cusp of being old. He looks young now, too, with his vivid eyes shut and relaxed, nothing to crease his brow. He doesn’t seem like a villain, either.
You brush a finger over his cheek, touch lightly at the scratches beneath his eyes, drag your thumb down to touch the scar at the corner of his lips.
His eyes flutter open to watch you, half lidded, squinted almost like a cat.
But he allows you to run your fingers over his face, doesn’t protest or jerk away from your touch.
No, his eyes fall shut again. He lets out a deep sigh that you think he has held inside him for years.
He doesn’t have a gentle face, but one that shows it’s angles and sharp edges, the scars and cuts that trail down onto his neck. You’d noticed some on his chest, too. Proof of an uneasy life lived, proof of violence and pain.
You imagine he’s seen horrors, kept them trapped inside for fear of letting them spill out, like maybe it’ll be as gruesome as the memories.
His body hasn’t been handled gently, you can tell, with it’s indents and scars and scratches. You don’t know who was the last person who touched him without wanting to hurt him. And you shouldn’t but you think of yourself when you were a child– desperate for love and affection, desperate for any scrap of attention like the scavenger you always were.
Maybe still are.
So desperate that you’d end up in the bed of your enemy– all because you couldn’t end up in the bed of your ally. So hungry that you’d eat out of a hand that has harmed and killed and destroyed.
Hands that haven’t known gentleness, a body that hasn’t known peace. But he’s being gentle with you now, isn’t he?
So you try to give gentleness to him now, too, with your careful touch. You keep your fingers kind and sympathetic.
Even your own eyes drift shut for a moment, still tracing idle patterns into his skin.
You only slip away from him for a moment, to use the bathroom, to clean up. Your reflection in the mirror looks strange; raw and flushed with color. Honest in a way that makes you turn away.
You slip back into bed with Tomura, let him latch onto you again. You drag your fingers gently over his ribs, over his sides.
You let your eyes fall shut, too.
There’s a sudden, loud buzzing from the floor that cuts through the quiet, which makes your eyes startle open. It’s insistent and you realize after a moment that it’s your phone, caught up in your hero suit on the floor.
You never came home after your shift. You curse softly, almost certain you know who's calling.
You squirm out of Tomura’s hold again, which he huffs at in irritation, but eventually allows you up.
“Where are you going now?” he asks, annoyed, when you climb out of bed to find your phone. Once found, you hold it up to him.
It’s still buzzing in your hand, lit up with Shouta’s contact.
You think the guilt should hit you now.
It doesn’t and that’s what you feel worse over. You swallow hard, frown down at your phone.
(Horribly, you even feel somewhat spiteful, as if you’re trying to prove something to Shouta. Maybe to yourself.)
You don’t answer.
And then you see the several texts from him, wondering where you are. They’re all bland, but you can tell he must be worried. It’s unlike you to not tell him where you are.
“Are you going to leave?” Tomura asks and there’s something strange in his voice, something you can’t place.
“Do you want me to?” you ask in return.
He doesn’t answer right away. But he does eventually give an annoyed drawl, “Do what you want.”
You take that as a no, don’t leave, since you’re certain if he wanted you gone, he would’ve told you.
You send a text to Shouta;
Sorry. Staying with an old friend for the night. Be back tomorrow.
It’s not unheard of, for you to spend time with an old friend from the foster care system.
You get a dry “okay” from him in response. You fight the urge to roll your eyes for some reason, tossing your phone away again.
You end up staying the night with Tomura Shigaraki, one of the most wanted villains in all of Japan.
Its not romantic— he isn’t sweet or funny or caring. But he holds you tight, leaves no room for distance. And it is the first time you’ve ever slept with someone like this, tucked away into a bed, bare, and wrapped up in each other.
Is this what it always feels like? You press yourself into the crooks of his body. You wonder if you’re supposed to fit this well together.
And it’s the first time since his Quirk developed that he hasn’t needed to wear his partial gloves to sleep in fear of decaying something.
He won’t admit it but it’s the best he’s slept in a long, long time.
You won’t admit it, either, but you think you could get used to this, too; this closeness, being held as if you’ll slip away, being held like he doesn’t want you to.
The morning brings rosy sunlight that slants through the windows. Neither of you talk much. You try to tell yourself this won’t happen again, can’t happen again.
But you had kissed him goodbye before you’d left, like he was a boyfriend and not a criminal, and you’d been in a surprisingly good mood for the rest of the day.
Like you had a crush, puppy love you never got as a teenager because you were too busy trying not to starve, only to realize you’d been starving in other ways, too.
But you’re sugar soft and excitable, dropping into bed that night alone, and allowing yourself to admit, in the quiet and privacy of your own thoughts, that you wish you were in his again.
***
One time turns into two which turns into three which turns into so many times you’ve lost count. That little, rundown apartment that isn’t really Tomura’s has turned into another world entirely, some harbor away from the rules of society. It’s almost too good to be true, a dream, a place for a secret as bad as this one.
When you’re here, you don’t talk of heroes and villains. You urge him not to; you think you’ll keep some part of your innocence in this affair if you don’t actually know anything about him or the League of Villains. You’ll feel too guilty, if you know any part of their plans and don’t tell Shouta. And telling Shouta anything about Tomura is beginning to feel like a betrayal, too.
You don’t know anything substantial about Tomura Shigaraki and that’s the way it needs to stay.
You know he likes sour candy, though, and drinks too many energy drinks– they’re sickly sweet and you think kissing him might make your teeth ache. You know he likes video games but no longer has a console. He has trouble sleeping at night. You’re familiar with the scars on his skin, the jagged ones across his neck, the one on his lip. The beauty mark on his chin. You know his moods; from the prickly ones to the downright vengeful ones. You even know the calmer ones, the quiet, contemplative ones.
(In this way, he seems like a normal twenty-something-year-old. In the quiet moments, when you’ve convinced him to watch a cheap horror movie on the tiny, staticky TV in the apartment, he could be anybody. When he’s got his bare hand up your shirt as someone onscreen screams and begs for their life, he’s not the heir to an underground empire. He’s just Tomura, with his face buried in the crook of your neck).
He pretends to get annoyed with you, huffs and scoffs against your lips when you’re being cheeky. You wear his worn down hoodies, slip your thumbs in the holes at the sleeves. He eyes you when you wear them, pulls you to him by the collar.
(He likes to fuck you in them– pushes the hoodie up your stomach to watch you ride him. But he likes things bare and raw, too. Skin to skin. So close it’s terrifying, so close you feel like he’s trying to tear you apart from the inside out. He likes it dirty, you think, because it makes it more intimate.)
You soothe him. You know you do because when he’s festering and angry, all it takes is your hand on his wrist, pulling it away from his neck. Sometimes, when he can’t think straight and there is too much on his mind, he forces you to lay on top of him until his breathing slows and his head is clear.
He can’t talk to you aloud about what’s plaguing him, but you must quiet some part of him. He likes to use you to think, runs his long fingers through your hair as you lay atop him. He pets you until his thoughts aren’t as jumbled, but smoothed out and sharp. Or until he doesn’t want to think anymore at all and he drags you into languid makeouts that always end with him surrounding you, inside you, possessing you.
You bicker sometimes, flash your teeth to make his eyes spark ruby and excited. Mostly, you act your age with him.
You don’t know when his birthday is or where he grew up. You don’t know what his childhood was like or what memories shaped him, don’t know where he’s been or where he’s going to be. You only know him now, in this moment, in this little world you’ve created for each other.
He’s what you imagined first boyfriends are supposed to be; excitable and often immature but fun and new. You never had the luxury of first loves, just odd first kisses with strangers and an uncomfortable loss of virginity with a friend of a friend of a friend who jammed his tongue too far down your throat. You hadn’t had anything stable until–
Until Shouta.
Shouta has grown suspicious of this old friend of yours and how much time you now spend with him.
He questions you about him and you wish you felt worse for lying. The rebellious part of this affair is thrilling, though. Feels like you’re sixteen and sneaking out from under your dad’s nose to be picked up by the boyfriend you’d know he’d hate. Feels like swiping liquor too young and getting sick off it, smashing the bottles and laughing with your friends because sometimes things just need to break.
“Will you at least tell me his name?” Shouta had asked one morning, when you’d let yourself into his apartment after another night at Tomura’s. You had your own hood pulled up around your face to hide the rose blossom hickeys against the skin of your neck.
He’d still poured you a cup of coffee. You’d watched his careful, large hands as they made it the way you liked it.
You’d given him a lie, fed it to him the way he feeds you breakfast, “Shinta. Are you happy?”
He’d slid the mug to you, let you catch in the cradle of your palm. He’d shrugged, but you think his eyes had flashed to you, “You know you can bring him around, right? You don’t always have to go to him.”
You’d had to bite back a painful laugh. It wasn’t funny. It had hurt strangely in the pit of your chest.
You had shaken your head, tried to brush him off, “It’s not like that.”
“Alright,” he’d said, but he hadn’t believed you. “You’re training alone with Shinsou again tonight, I’ll be busy with a job.” Then he’d given you a stern look, “And don’t cut it early to go see Shinta.”
“I’ve never done that!” you’d protested, perhaps a little too defensively. But it was true, you’d never do that to Shinsou, wouldn’t dream of it. The only time you’d cut training early was to share takeout with Shinsou, not ditch him for–
This comment had rubbed you wrong, scratched up against something abrasive and surprisingly fragile inside of you. Maybe because he was questioning your dedication which already felt so flimsy, even if he hadn’t been entirely serious, even if maybe he’d just been trying to take a dig at you. At this new boyfriend.
Shouta had grown cold then, shrugged impassively, took his mug of coffee and brushed past you to keep getting ready.
It had angered you enough to bring it up later to Tomura, when you’re falling into his lap and he’s squirming his cold, fluttery hands beneath your shirt to touch skin, to make you hiss through your teeth.
His lips tilt into a small smile as you fidget while he warms his frigid fingers on your body.
“Eraserhead asked about you yesterday,” you tell him, letting your nose brush against his, “Told me I could bring my friend around– don’t always have to go to him.”
Tomura snorts, eyes falling half-lidded when your lips skim over his. The night is plum dark, presses into this little apartment that’s tucked away from the world.
“How’d you get out of that one?” he asks, fingers walking over the dips of your spine. He likes tracing the bone beneath your skin, likes making you shiver.
“Told him it’s not like that.” you respond, your own hands wandering to his neck. You're careful over the ridges of flesh there, skim lightly to get to his jaw.
“No?” Tomura asks, pulling you closer, pressing his chest to yours, “Don’t want to bring me home to meet Eraserhead?” he sneers and there’s something underneath his voice, lurking, with its hackles raised.
You think maybe it’s jealousy, the same flash of his eyes like Shouta’s when he’d said Shinta.
But then he kisses you deep and drags your hips against his, forces a warbly, surprised little moan from you.
Most of your thoughts melt away then, most turn to something base and desperate, all desire and need. You can’t help but think about it, though, how you can’t ever take him home to Shouta. You can’t ever expect anything more than whatever stays in this room. He kisses you hard, your teeth clinking against his like clashing with the truth of it all.
There’s no happy ending here.
It’s like smashing bottles because sometimes things just need to break.
***
Tomura thinks you would be a good edition to the League of Villains.
You’re clever and capable. He comes to find you’re not just a good thief and pickpocket but an excellent one. You swipe everything from his pockets, right from under his nose, just to play with him. You’re stealthy and sharp; he could use someone like you at his side.
Your Quirk could be useful, though he doesn’t like the idea of you getting so close to people while in battles. You have a reckless streak, but he thinks he could temper that. All you need is a little guidance.
You were a thief once. You give him clues of your past; you didn’t grow up like the other heroes, didn’t come from a warm home with dreams of saving the world. Your head wasn’t filled with fantasies of rescuing the downtrodden. You were the downtrodden. And you learned that there was no one who was going to save you, except yourself. So you stole and fought and survived a world that was willing to forget you.
You’re like him, a very quiet part of him thinks, no one saved you. Not until you were too old, all grown up with sharpened teeth and claws, eyes that see in the dark. That could be now used and extorted by the heroes.
He thinks they’ve leashed you, taught you how to sit and stay and sic ‘em.
He wonders if he’d have gotten to you first, if you’d be with him and not your heroes.
Tomura doesn’t dwell on it, though. He refuses to imagine it. What would be the point? It didn’t happen.
Besides, he is certain he is capable of slowly swaying you to them still. You possess a startling amount of compassion for villains which, perhaps wouldn’t help you as a villain, but that’s fine.
(You’d have him. No one would touch you if you were at his side. You could be as stupidly compassionate as you wanted.)
You meet members of the League with him by accident, times when Toga and Twice’s meeting with him overlap with you arriving. Toga goes on endlessly about you, it seems. Dabi drops by once in the middle of the night, bloody and demanding a place to sleep because he’s tired of sleeping on the streets.
It’d been one of the more insufferable nights, perhaps one of the worst ways for Dabi to find out about you. You’d already been asleep, cocooned beneath blankets and Tomura’s body, just in one of his loose shirts.
Tomura had already been lying awake, listening to your even breathing when he’d heard the handle of the door shake roughly. He’d gotten up then, slipped into clothes, melted into the darkness by the door and waited for the intruder to try and step inside.
The lock had been picked.
He had nearly decayed Dabi by accident before realizing it was him.
A ridiculously quiet but terse argument had ensued then, before Dabi had asked, in a regular speaking voice, “Why the fuck are we whispering?”
Tomura had almost winced when he heard you stir from the bed before your small, sleepy voice had murmured into the darkness, “Tomura?”
You’d said it too soft, too sweet. It’d been for his ears only and something about Dabi hearing you, seeing you, being in this space that had been for you and for him had made Tomura suddenly livid.
He had watched Dabi’s mouth fall open in shock before you’d switched on the bedside lamp to flood the room with artificial, golden light.
Dabi’s face had been near horrific in the light, one side of it all bloody, the stitches mangled or falling out. Part of his face almost looked like it was melting, his eye squinted shut with the damage.
But he’d thrown his head back and laughed when he’d seen you, sitting up in the bed, blinking sleepily at them. Tomura hated a lot of things, but he’d hated nothing more than the sound of Dabi’s rasping laugh in that moment.
You’d narrowed your eyes when you had realized who it was.
“I had no idea you had it in you, Tomura.” Dabi had said.
“Why the fuck are you here?” Tomura had hissed instead, fighting the urge to tear into his neck, fingers twitching agitatedly.
Dabi had gestured to his face with a lazy flourish, “I need medical attention and I’m crashing on your couch.”
Tomura’s teeth had ground together, “Get. Out.”
“No, I’m sick of sleeping on the streets when you’re here playing house with your little hero bitch–”
Before Tomura could even react, though, you had found the small supply of first aid from beneath the sink in the tiny bathroom. You had come up beside them near silently and offered it up, asked, “Do you want help?”
And there it had been– that compassion of yours. Even for the likes of Dabi.
In that moment, he’d wondered how you had ever survived with it. He’d thought that you’d lose your hand if you kept extending it.
Dabi hadn’t let you touch him but you’d gotten a cool rag for him to clean up the blood, watched as he tried to patch up the wound. It was made worse by a mangled staple in his cheek, jutting out strangely.
“Does it hurt?” You’d asked but with the way you were looking at him, at his marred skin up close, Tomura could tell that you weren’t just referring to this one injury.
Does it hurt? You’d asked, like you were asking if it all hurt. You weren’t just seeing a singular part of Dabi, but a series of tragedies that was proudly presented in large, rippling scars against his skin.
“Of course it fucking hurts,” Dabi had spit out, all venom and bitterness. But you hadn’t even flinched.
Tomura had tried to kick him out again once his wound had been treated.
“It’s fine,” you’d said, resigned, tired and rubbing at your eyes.
(Later you’d shrug and tell him, I know what it’s like to not have somewhere to sleep).
“Yeah, it’s fine,” Dabi had drawled, already pulling off his heavy boots, prying the coat from his body to toss onto the floor. “Just don’t do any weird shit.”
And you’d gotten back into bed with Tomura, fit yourself against him, ducked your head down beneath his chin and pressed your hands against his sides, felt the notches of his ribs.
Sometimes he wonders if you can feel the missing one, the one you took from him, the one you’d been made out of.
It had occurred to Tomura that either you didn’t fear Dabi or you trusted him enough to know he’d never let Dabi harm you while sleeping.
Both were acceptable to him, both would aid him in converting you. And they were true, too. You shouldn’t fear Dabi, especially not with him around.
Tomura had brought his hand up then, suddenly covered your mouth with his large palm, letting all five of his fingers come down against your pretty face.
You’d furrowed your brows in confusion, not fear, which made something inside of him grow warm and hungry.
Then he’d slid his other hand down your body, between your legs, just to spite Dabi.
He’d watched as your eyes went wide in the dark, cheeks flushing beneath his hand. He could feel his smirk, smug and sharp, fitting across his teeth like a muzzle.
You’d tried to shake your head, tried to squirm away from his touch, but he’d been persistent and soon enough you were sighing against his hand, melting into the bed he pressed you into. Soon enough you were trying to hold back whimpers, all slippery and soft beneath his fingers, silently begging with your eyes.
He hadn’t denied you that night; no, you were being good, walking the steps he wanted for you. You were moldable and sweet beneath him so he’d give you what you wanted.
He watched in satisfaction as you came hard around his fingers, face scrunching up in that way he loved, fingers easing you through it. He was gentle with you then, taking his hand away from your mouth slowly, letting you nudge closer and cling to him.
(He loved when you clung to him).
You’d wanted so much affection that night and he had indulged you, letting your nose brush against his, or rubbing your cheek against his chest while his fingers wound through your hair.
You’d fallen asleep all tied up in him.
The next morning, you were gone before Dabi even woke up.
Dabi had asked, “What the fuck are you doing with her?”
“Mind your business,” Tomura had snapped, fingers already seeking out his neck again when they couldn't find you. He hated that he wanted your presence so badly now. (Hated that he missed you, but he would never say that, never even dream of it). Then he’d added,“And find someone else’s doorstep to show up on.”
Dabi had scoffed, “Whatever. Just don’t get distracted.” He’d pulled out a cigarette from his jacket still on the floor then, much to Tomura’s annoyance, and lit it with a spark of his fingers. Smoke curled into the air with his first drag. “I’m not about to watch all our efforts fall apart because you wanted to play Romeo and Juliet with some braindead little hero.”
He’d torn into the skin of his neck then. Wished he could tear into you instead.
“Violent delights and violent ends and all that shit,” Dabi had said then, his smile just a curled stitch, smoke pouring from his lips, evidently amused with himself.
But Tomura has never read that play and he doesn’t know anything about poetry in the same way he doesn’t know anything about art or beauty, just that you’re the only thing he’s bothered to compare to a painting.
***
You put Tomura into your phone as Shinta and when you’re too busy to visit him between missions and training, you text him. Though short, he is surprisingly witty over text, something that has you biting back grins and distracted, feeling like a schoolgirl as you try to hide the screen of your phone from the rest of the world.
You grow distracted with hero work, with Shouta. You pay less attention to your life at U.A. You don’t visit Shouta for lunch as often. You haven’t spent a quiet night with Shouta in weeks. You tell yourself you don’t care.
It’s better than fighting with him. It’s better than trying to beg for his love and affection.
Early tomorrow morning you’re supposed to shadow Shouta on a brief mission.
The Hero Commission is trying to train you into espionage and underground work, trying to mold you in the shape of Shouta.
But at night, when you’re alone in your bedroom, tucked away into your own apartment and not with Tomura, he calls you.
You let yourself say his name into the receiver of your phone, hushed and excited.
He doesn’t say I miss you or when will I see you again?
He says, “Touch yourself.”
And you don’t say I miss you, too, or hopefully soon.
You do as he says, let your fingers fan out over your stomach like they might be his. You listen to his breathing turn ragged over the phone. You moan softly for him.
You do what he says in the navy dark of night, bite back frustrated whines because you’ve gotten too used to his touch.
“–Wish it was you, fuck, it’s not fair,” you gasp, tilting your hips up into your fingers desperately.
You can hear the hiss of breath he takes, “Did I ruin you?” he croons into the phone lowly, his voice slithering through to you, making your thighs clench. “Can’t even touch yourself without needing me?”
You groan, high and defeated, fingers slipping against yourself. You’re aching and empty and bereft without him, “Yes, yes–”
He rambles about what he’s done to you, almost seething by the end, when he demands you tell him that you’re his, that he’s the one who made you this way. He’s the only one who can soothe you now. You need him.
He isn’t wrong, you realize, when you still aren’t satisfied after your climax. When it doesn’t feel as good as when you’re with him. You realize you hate sleeping alone now. You miss the press of his body to yours. You coo into the phone about it, lay on your stomach, arms curled around your pillow with your ear still to your phone.
It never gets overly sentimental. You don’t want to scare him, especially as you grow terrified of your own feelings. It doesn’t feel as fun anymore, you realize, only because your attraction to him has now grown serious.
Your crush has grown teeth and claws, ready to tear apart the vulnerable, fleshy parts of you.
But he talks with you until you fall asleep, phone still in hand, heart still on the line.
***
There’s a stray kitten that hangs out around Tomura’s apartment– he thinks there must be a colony of strays in the area, since it’s not the only one. But this one is scrawny, just a messy tuft of grey fur. It’d be sleek and pretty, if it wasn’t so malnourished, if it wasn’t missing clumps of fur or full of scars and scratches.
The kitten likes Tomura a great deal for some reason. It rubs itself against his legs, follows him around outside of the apartment, much to your utter delight.
You coo and fawn over it, scoop the little thing up into your arms and hold it up to Tomura’s face.
He hates it, the face you give him. The face the kitten gives him. He hates that the corner of his lips twitch upwards.
“He’s so cute,” you gush and he can hear now that the little thing is purring furiously in your hands. You wiggle the cat a little bit in front of his face and Tomura finally reaches up to stroke the back of his knuckles against the kitten’s head, if only to appease you.
Your smile is crooked– an excited curve of your lips, your eyes alight.
You’re always so expressive and he used to be livid about it, wanted to teach you a lesson in the worst way possible, but now he just wants to keep you from learning them.
He has to turn away from you at the thought, heads towards the door of the apartment building. You follow after him dutifully, coming up to nudge against his side. He’s become too comfortable with you there, knocking into his elbow.
You’re still smiling down at the kitten in your arms and he wants to look away because some part of this is starting to sting.
The kitten is excitedly looking around, green eyes all round and bright. It’s purring happily.
“Put it down, it’s not coming in with us.” Tomura tells you, his voice rough and soft.
You stop in front of the door with him. Your bottom lip pulls out into a pout. Your eyes get round like the kitten’s.
He gives you a cold stare.
You hug the kitten tighter to your body, “C’mon,” you whine, “It’s just a baby.”
“I’m not taking care of a cat.”
“I’ll take care of it!”
“No,” he responds, harsher, voice a little sharper.
Maybe, in the beginning of this little affair, you would’ve headed the warning in his tone, but now you don’t even bat an eye at him.
“Yes,” you respond indignantly.
You both glare at each other. The kitten’s purr still rumbles on.
Tomura can tell you’re not giving this one up, he can tell by the set of your jaw, the way you’re clinging to that little creature. There’s a determined flush to your face. Your eyes are bright and fiery.
All over this little stray.
“You’re a brat,” is all Tomura says and you take that as a win, because your face immediately morphs, brightens up completely. You duck past him, into the apartment building with the kitten cradled in your arms.
He heaves a deep sigh, following in after you. “I’m kicking it out when you leave.”
“Don’t be mean,” you reply, waiting at the door, and the irony is not lost on him. He comes up behind you, his chest to your back, crowding you against the door.
“I think you need to remember who you’re speaking to,” he says, his voice just a rasp against your ear and maybe at some point, it would’ve sounded threatening, but now you just lean back into his chest. His heart beats against the curve of your back.
Something soft is growing between the two of you, he can feel it. It has no place here, though, in this world. In the two of you. His ugly infatuation with you, all that anger and vitriol he had for you has melted, turned spring soft inside of him after an unforgiving winter.
He unlocks the door, he lets you in.
The kitten ends up coming and going. He opens the window to let it in and out, let’s you feed it. You call it Ryuji. It lives partially in this new little world the two of you have built.
He thinks of it like the pause screen in a video game, somewhere to return to when he’s frustrated or tired or done. Idle, soft music and the freezing of his screen. A moment away from the turmoil or struggle of the game.
But he’ll have to unpause eventually.
He can’t stay here forever, he knows it, but he just has to be sure he plays it right– he doesn’t think he’ll be able to start over this time, with you.
And he wants you there at the ending, at his side like in his dreams.
The ones where it’s all in ruins, the world nothing but his, destroyed, but he gives you his hand to have, and you take it in yours to hold.
***
The distance between you and Shouta stretches and grows until it snaps in the form of a blowout argument. Which, is mostly just you, shouting, crying furiously, and Shouta stone-faced and cool.
It had started with an offhand comment from him about how you’re not focused anymore. You’re getting sloppy. You’re distracted. And usually, you take his criticism with a stiff upper lip and a determined glare.
But you and Shouta haven’t been the same since you tried to kiss him.
You blame yourself, maybe, but part of you feels angry with him, too. Bitter. You thought, in some way, he reciprocated your feelings. He’d acted like it. And when he’d rejected you, he’d pulled away, been more careful with you.
(You wonder if this proves your point, that he was toeing a line with you then.)
And maybe your lies are starting to eat at you, too, starting to rot away on the inside of you. If you focused on them too hard and all that Shouta’s done for you, you think you’d start crying every time you looked at him.
But Tomura has also thrown all you know into question. And you’d already been critical of the life you were afforded by becoming a hero.
You look at all of Shouta’s students and you just get angry. You look at Shinsou, so determined to prove he can be a hero, that he’s good and you are livid. You look at Toga, with her villainous Quirk. She’s near Shinsou’s age and something about it just makes you ache, it makes you sick.
You look at her and see who she could’ve been as a hero– you wonder if they would’ve stuck her in espionage, with the likes of you and Shouta. You wonder if she would’ve gone to U.A. You wonder what it would’ve taken to change her fate.
Even Tomura, you look at him and in the safety and privacy of your own heart, you dare to wonder what he would’ve been like if he hadn’t been a villain.
(He could’ve been a rescue hero, you think, and he could’ve decayed debris to save people. This version of him lives in the quiet, tentative parts of you. It grows soft and underground, a seedling that has sprouted on the inside of your chest, and one day you think this little dream of yours will grow so large inside of you that it’ll breach skin and show the world it’s horror.)
It feels like a coin toss, almost, like the difference between a hero and a villain sometimes is one flip away from changing.
You don’t bother to wonder what would’ve happened if it hadn’t been Shouta that found you, but someone like Tomura. Or All For One. You know if you’d been given somewhere to sleep and a warm meal, you would’ve done what they wanted.
You wish you could say you were a noble, starving person, that there was something shining and golden inside of you. But all you were was starving.
Shouta says you’ve been underperforming lately. He says he’s considering limiting the nights you patrol until you can get it together.
The Hero Commission was supposed to come observe you to see if you’d progressed enough to begin accepting your own missions. He tells you he doesn’t think they should come any longer. It feels like a dig, too, like he’s reprimanding you somehow.
And you snap, “Well maybe I didn’t want them to observe me!”
He looks taken aback for a moment, before he asks, “What is that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know! Maybe I’m tired of being observed and used and watching all of these kids be observed and sought after and–”
“Alright,” Shouta sighs, and it makes your teeth grit because he sounds like he’s trying to parent you, “It’s one thing to be upset yourself, but I don’t see how this has anything to do with these kids.”
Your nails dig into your palms as you try to find the words to get him to understand you.
But he speaks before you can, almost patronizingly, “Clearly, you’re struggling through something, so it’s probably a good thing we’ve put this off.”
Tears well up hard and fast. It hurts to be dismissed like this. It hurts to look at him, to think that he’s a part of the ever growing issue that has been itching beneath your skin. You’re a part of it, too, but you have the sudden urge to run. To get out.
Still, you swallow down all of that turmoil and say, “I hardly know what I want now, so how do you expect children to know that they want to be a hero?”
“What is this about?” Shouta asks.
“It’s about the Hero Commission and U.A. and the entire fucking system. That’s what it’s about.” you seethe, looking up into his eyes, trying to find something there.
“It’s not just about you?” he asks, unperturbed.
“Why can’t it be both?” you respond, trying to keep your voice from going high, from going hysterical. There’s so much you want to say, so much that it’s making you sick, that it’s turning your stomach. “I’m– I’m barely older than them!” you say, because all you keep thinking about is how they’re just kids. And you were just a kid. And at one point, Tomura was just a kid.
He’s barely older than you. Closer in age to Shouta’s students than to him.
“I didn’t invent the system,” Shouta says and he sounds weary, “I just try to give my students the best opportunity at surviving being a hero. I try to teach them everything to keep them alive.”
They’re just kids! You want to shriek, kids that were chosen or forgotten or accepted or shunned.
Looking in the face of the system now feels so massive that it’s hopeless; a system that produces shiny heroes from children with their perfect and acceptable Quirks and discards the rest. Even you and Shouta, with your Quirks that aren’t as flashy, are pushed into the shadows to do the Hero Commissions business. And what business is that? You have to wonder their intentions, too, with all the money that’s pumped into it. Into all of these heroes. A system that forgets anyone who doesn’t fit into it’s perfect mold.
“But you see how it’s wrong, right? And just because you didn’t invent the system doesn’t mean you get to throw your hands up!” You say, voice raising.
Shouta levels you with a cool look. He lets loose a sigh. “What would you like me to do?”
You don’t have an answer, it’s too big of a question.
(You see the appeal suddenly, in wanting to get rid of it all, in destroying it since it’s such a mess.)
But you hate his aloofness, you hate that he doesn’t care. You hate that you feel crazy.
“I don’t know!” you shout, tears finally falling down your angry and flushed face. “I don’t know!”
“Are you done?” Shouta asks and it makes you want to scream more. You just want a reaction from him, you realize, you want something more than his impassiveness. You think of trying to shout more, to try and say something cutting or powerful or enough to make him wince.
But nothing comes to mind and you’re just stubbornly trying to keep back a sob.
So you shoulder past him, rush out of his apartment, rubbing at your cheeks and trying to keep back your hiccuping cries.
You have every intention of going to Tomura’s.
But you realize when you’ve nearly made it to his door that it might be foolish to go to someone like Tomura with tears in your eyes. What is the leader of the League of Villains going to do? You have a feeling you might just get your feelings hurt more.
So you pause, rub at your eyes again, try to dispel all the turmoil inside you. It doesn’t work, so you turn away from him, too, and you start moving.
Your feet carry you to the train station, carry you across town, to a warehouse you used to vandalize and hide in when you were young and alone.
You haven’t been here in years.
It feels strange, loping around the side of the building. The alleyways are cast in garnet light with the fading sun. It makes it look prettier than it is. You enter through the same hole in the wall that you used to when you were young; you’re bigger now, though, need to duck lower, curl yourself up to get through it.
You think of yourself scurrying around, knowing the ins and outs of this dilapidated building the way most children know their childhood home.
It’s strange, stepping back into a place you haven’t been to in years. You know, in some way, it has to have changed. It’s falling apart more, there’s larger holes in the ceiling, letting in auburn light, setting everything ablaze. There’s a lot of debris; from torn tents to discarded sleeping bags to spare junk, it’s all spread out throughout the place. Graffiti covers every corner of the walls. You used to look for a face painted in pink, it’s eyes dripping down it’s face in the back corner of a wall. When your eyes slide along all the artwork, it’s nowhere to be found now. No doubt covered up by the years, but you know it’s there, somewhere beneath all that color and paint.
There are a lot of empty bottles, glass laying around that crunches beneath your shoe.
You pick up a glass by the spout, watch as it catches in the light, murky gold and sunkissed.
You feel small again, fragile like the bottle in your hand. You stopped crying at least, but all that’s left is the aftertaste. Just the lingering frustration, the bitter aloneness that settles over you as cold as Shouta’s stare.
Your fingers squeeze around the glass, curling tight, before you suddenly hurl it at the wall.
It bursts on impact, explodes into thousands of shining, glittering pieces that spark in the sun.
It feels good, so you pick up another glass– this one’s mint green, pretty like the sea, reminds you of spring and the stems of flowers.
It breaks prettily, too, the sound ringing and sharp in your ears, your eyes trying to catch all the splinters of it. It explodes in the light. It’s cathartic, letting all your aching frustration and hurt rush out with each breaking, with each smashing.
You don’t get through many more, not before you hear footsteps behind you.
You can’t say you’re surprised to find Tomura, but you can’t say you were expecting it either. Quickly, you turn away, try to school your features. You try to rub at your eyes again, as if this will somehow dispel damp lashes and splotchy cheeks.
“Are you stalking me?” you ask, but there’s no bite to it as he comes to stand beside you.
He doesn’t answer.
You think he might be, but you can’t find it in you to care.
The sound of the distant city is just a hum between you two. Glass sparkles on the floor like stars in the fading, ruby light.
You turn to face him, don’t bother trying to look up into his face, just shove yourself into his chest. You bury your face into his hoodie, rubbing your cheek against his chest. “Creep,” you mumble, “What are you doing here?”
His hands come up, one at the back of your head, the other along your back. He has his gloves on. Not that it matters.
“I followed you from the apartment,” he admits and his voice is quiet, but it seems to echo in this open space. Then he says, “You should be more watchful.”
“Don’t start,” you grumble, letting your fingers curl in his jacket, “Been scolded enough today.”
The hand at the back of your head tugs at your hair lightly, lifting your head from its hiding place against his chest so that he can look you over carefully.
The light casts him in maroon and russet, saturating him, making the dark of him stand out sharply. It makes the silver of his hair seem peach, brands him in all the sun’s honey and whiskey glory.
His eyes are vivid, maybe the most true shade of red you’ve ever seen in your life.
He takes in your face, perhaps your bloodshot eyes, your damp lashes. You aren’t a fool; you’re certain he can tell you’ve been crying. You have the urge to squirm away, to try and hide from his gaze.
But all he asks, in a surprisingly gentle tone, is “What happened?”
You shake your head fractionally, “Nothing. Got into an argument, that’s all.”
He hums lightly, tracking your expression. You want to glance away from him, but he holds you still for a moment longer.
When you can’t take his scrutinization any longer, you ask, “Wanna break some shit with me?”
He lets you go finally, let’s you step out of his arms despite not responding. You pick up another glass, this once an icy blue that reflects light that reminds you of the color of morning skies.
You watch as it explodes against the wall, flashing like a little firework. Glass rains down onto the ground, some of it flinging up into the air or back towards you. Tomura pulls you away from it by the back of your jacket, yanks you back into his chest as glass shards fly past you.
He glares at you somewhat and you can tell he wants to scold you, but he doesn’t. You squirm out of his grasp to do it again.
Glass showers down as you break another bottle. It rains in shards of tangerine and pale yellow, bright pops of cherry in the light. It feels good, to watch it all burst apart in the sunlight, like watching little stars burst and explode at your hands. It’s so pretty, for such a violent act.
You hand a bottle to Tomura, offering him the chance to also act out. Instead, he pulls off one of his gloves– tugs it off with his teeth, the glint of sharp white against flesh pink. You watch fascinated for a moment, catch his eyes, blazing and barbed.
When he takes it with all five fingers, you watch as it first cracks in your palm, before fluttering away into dust. Into nothing.
You make a face, “That’s not as exciting as breaking them.”
He rolls his eyes, but you catch the way the corner of his lips hike up. He takes another glass, this one icy silver, caught peach in the honey light, though. He keeps a finger lifted away delicately as he lifts it up to the beams of scarlet sun that flare through the rafters.
And in that fiery patch of dusk, with the glass reflecting iridescence onto the angular plains of his face, your heart gives a violent lurch, like it’s trying to burst free from your chest.
I think I love you, you think, unbridled, and so suddenly that it feels as if the thought has slammed into you the way a body might fall from the ledge of a roof.
I think I love you, you think again, because you can’t quite believe it, as he lobs the bottle at the wall. It fractures into a thousand little beams of glass and light, like an exploding comet. You feel as fragile as that, like he’ll do the same to you. Maybe you’ll be nothing but shards by the end of this, nothing but dust slipping through his fingers.
He turns to you, no doubt to say something snarky, but you’re already taking quick steps to him. He doesn’t get the chance to speak, not when you collide with him, hard and reckless, throwing yourself up onto your toes to kiss him with a new violence.
He makes a surprised noise, soft, but catches you otherwise. His hand is already up, worming beneath your clothes to press chilled fingers into the bare skin of your upper waist. He likes the way you hiss into his mouth, and you like the way they dig roughly into you. He forces you closer, melds his mouth to yours, rough at the edges, slick and warm at the center as the kiss blossoms into slow simmering heat.
And by the end of it all, when the light has given way to violet darkness, the press of indigo shadows that stretch tall in this abandoned warehouse, there is too much glass on the floor. Everything is shattered or decayed. Your lips are stinging from sharp-toothed kisses and the desperate press of his mouth to yours. You’ve turned molten, fallen apart the way glass does.
You walk home together, hand in seeking hand.
Your eyes flush pink with your Quirk, brightening up in the dark.
You knock into his side like you’re a kid, eagerly trailing beside him. He has the hood of his sweatshirt up, hidden, as you rush into the next train back to the part of town that holds the little, distant world of his apartment.
You sit beside each other on the train, knees pressing into each other. He leans over to crowd you against the cool glass as the world streaks past you in a wash of darkness. He ducks his face to yours, his hood hiding the both of you from any onlookers as he seers his mouth to yours again.
You feel like a teenager, kissing in front of strangers, beneath the flickering light of the train car. You feel young and reckless, letting him have you like this, while the city burns like a blurry halo behind you. But you feel older, too, older and in love, like you finally know the secret of the universe, the one that every adult knows and has only learned in the burn of a kiss, in the messy squeezing of your heart.
He licks into your mouth slow, you curl your small hand into his worn hoodie. If people stare, you don’t know, don’t care.
He pulls away from you, forcing you up when your stop is announced, leaving you a little dazed and dizzy, but you eagerly follow after him. Your hands bunch into the back of his jean jacket. You stumble behind him a little, feet tangling with his as you duck beneath his arm to come to his side.
Ryuji finds the two of you on your walk home the closer you get, follows you both inside, happily chirping at your coos. But he paws at the window to be let out again a short time later, after you’ve fed him something. Tomura opens the window for the cat, but not before you catch him rubbing a knuckle against the kitten’s fuzzy cheek, brief but gentle.
You think he likes Ryuji more than he lets on. You think he loves all this more than he lets on.
Tomura takes his time with you that night, surprisingly languid for once, like you’re not on borrowed time. Like this is an entirely new planet, a version of the two of you that is not bound by pasts and future expectations. No strings puppeteering you both, no invisible hands holding you both back.
He pulls you down into his lap, to sink onto him, fill yourself with him as you please. You twine your arms around his slender neck to pull him close, eyes half lidded and pyretic pink, fiery and soft with the way your Quirk reacts to his. It always hums somewhere inside of you, brushes against his until it quiets, until he’s soothed and relaxed.
“Do you feel powerful?” he murmurs against your lips, eyes flickering up to find yours.
The question takes you by surprise for a moment, pulling away fractionally from his parted lips. And with the way your heart squirms in your chest, looking down at him like this, you want to say no, I feel terrified and new and desperate.
But he drags nails down your back, makes you gasp and roll your hips down onto him, which startles a groan out of him. The sound of it turning your stomach in the best and worst ways, making you flush, making you squirm to try and sink lower onto him. Greedy and desperate, you wiggle your hips to make his breathing come out ragged.
It makes you realize you have one of the most dangerous villains beneath you, as desperate as you are.
You roll your hips again, slow, take what you want of him. You fist your hand in his hair, tilt his head back and watch as his eyes flutter. His cheeks are flushed.
Pretty, you think faintly.
“Yeah,” you breathe, gliding your lips along his, heart a storm in your chest to have him looking up at you like this, “I do.”
His lips tilt into a knife-sharp smile, enough to gut you.
And he lets you take what you please of him that night, and the thief that you are, you take and take and take. You steal from him with deft hands and a smile that he thinks he’d destroy the world for. You take all the love that you want from him, gorge yourself on it until you feel sick.
Until you feel as if you could rot with it, carrying your love for him in the pits of you, coveting in the safe, secret parts of you, for no one else to find.
Just you and him, like this, hand in seeking hand.
***
PART III
#shigaraki tomura x reader#tomura shigaraki x reader#tomura x reader#shigaraki x reader#shigaraki tomura x you#tomura shigaraki x you#tomura x you#shigaraki x you#tomura x y/n#shigaraki x y/n#tomura shigaraki x female reader#tomura shigaraki fanfic#bnha x reader#bnha fanfic#tenko shimura#tenko shimura x reader#bnha
649 notes
·
View notes
Text
The moment they realized they loved you. (Isekai Au Edition) Part 2
If you want more information on this AU here is the Link!
Sky:
- It started slow and very sweet.
- He took a long time realizing who you were. But he still believed in the others when they started to recognize you.
- When your behind him cheering you on, he feels invincible. Since during his adventure Impa tore into him pretty badly when he was late to save Zelda.
- Your presence is comforting to him. It feels like home despite being on the ground.
___________________________________
Being back in Skyloft was a small blessing for the chain. The tight knit community had already welcomed the travelers with little to no questions about their origins. It was a stroke of luck that they landed in front of the bazaar in the early morning when no one else was up yet. Their first day there was a resting day in attempt to gather information on the black blood monsters and inventory checks.
Sky took his time catching up with everyone. Letting the Headmaster and Sun know about the situation that had the hero hopping around in the timeline. Then he needed to go down to the small settlement on the surface to check on them. Sun did already tell him that things where still safe down there and that he should take a break. But he still would rather check it out himself just in case something did happen it better to be safe than sorry.
Despite being able to jump off from any of the decks in Skyloft. He automatically went towards the plaza near the tower of light. During his adventure it was the quickest way to the opening above Faron Woods. Sky was just turning the bend when he saw his Loftwing was already there on the docks and under its wing was You. You were trying to put a small amount of distance between you and the bird but the creature kept bring you closer to hold.
“(Y/n)!” Sky was baffled at his Loftwings reactions to you. He dashes to your side. “I’m so sorry. He isn’t normally like this.”
“It’s fine.” Your uncontrollable laughter the was full with childlike glee finally reached him. “In fact, I think he recognizes me!” You whispered smiling. The Crimson Loftwing cooed now leaning into his masters touch as Sky softly pet the side of his necks. Sky wondered if what you said was the truth. Since a Loftwing and its rider do share a special connection, it’s fully possible that his also felt and heard you. “Hey Link?” Suddenly your demeanor changed. “Can I ask something?”
Your bashful and embarrassed expression made Sky feel soft inside. “Of course.”
“One of these days can you show me around the sky or the surface?” You shifted awkwardly from him. He actually forgot that you haven’t physically been to his era before. That for the longest time you only saw things from his point of view without the ability to truly explore anything. “You don’t need to- “
“Are you free now?” He quickly cut you off. “I was actually heading down there now to check on the settlement.”
“Really?” Your face seems to brighten but then you remembered something and leaned closer to him whispering again “I don’t have a Loftwing though.”
He gently takes your hand “my Loftwing is strong enough for both of us.” He guided you to his side. You eyed the bird with uncertainty but you let him help you up onto the harness. Sky got on behind you reaching around you to get the reins. “Hold on to me if you get scared.” He teasingly warned and before you could question him. His Loftwing took off nose diving off of the deck.
You let out a small squeak as you latched onto his tunic. Sky almost felt bad that he actually scared you. But once in the air and on a steady path you finally opened your eyes again. “Woah!” The sight was nothing special but it was still just as beautiful. The clouds below them created an endless sea of white. “It’s so pretty.” Pride bubbled up as Sky watch you taken in the beauty of his home. This was just the start of what he wanted to show you as different locations came into his mind. “Hey.” You looking over your shoulder with hope in your eyes. ”Next time can we go to the Lumpy Pumpkin? I remember you singing high praises about their pumpkin soup.”
Sky tried to think of what he wanted to do tomorrow, right now there wasn’t anything that needed his attention. “If we have time tomorrow, I can take you there for lunch or dinner.” Maybe he could take a break from being a hero for a bit.
“Great! It’s a date then.” You sent a wink his way that sent his brain into a haywire before looking back into the endless sky. He was lucky his Loftwing is able to steer himself. As dot’s where finally connecting in Sky’s head. Pure love and affection bubble up as he embraces his new found feelings.
- He will be the one to uno reverse card on you. All love and affection will drown you instead. There was so much he wanted to tell you before to thank you for being by his side and encouraging him.
- Cuddle time will start here because of his need to make sure you know your loved too.
- He would be the one to confess first, but it would probably be played off as friends telling each other that they love each other.
- You’re not dense but overly affectionate. He might just need to spell out how you make him feel on a daily basis. Maybe then you’ll understand what you’re doing to him.
___________________________________
Legend:
- It hit him like a freight train.
- He isn’t mad at you. He is mad at himself. He had made his dues with what the people he had lost. Yet here he is. Already going too far.
- Your ability to make the situation brighter slowly eroded the walls he put up years ago.
- It might be all in his head, but he swears that you always make sure his needs are met even if he is trying to hide them.
___________________________________
“Link!!!” You barreled towards him ignoring the questioning stares the people of Windfall Island. “Link! Link! Link! LOOK!!!” You hold up a pink rabbit stuffed animal that you bought. “It you!”
The veteran in question huffed, “seriously of all things.” He turned on his heels “I’m going back on the ship.” He didn’t know why he was still entertaining your antics at that point.
“Wha- Hey! I was joking!” They were stocking up in Windfall and Legend was not happy to be on a boat nor in the ocean again. He wouldn’t say that he afraid.
Just… cautious…
You on the other hand looked like you were having the time of your life on the ship talking the it’s Captain and crew member’s. Yet most of the time you would stay by his side. The reason was obvious but nether wanted to talk about it.
Which is why you dragged him out to the port island. ‘An easy distraction.’ You told him, ‘I can show you around so we won’t get lost!’ He wasn’t worried about that. Legend trusted you. A fact he will never say out loud. However, he would rather hole up somewhere and escape the world then be here.
A soft hand took his when Legend reached the docks. He already knew who it was since you’ve been following him like a lost puppy all day. “One more place please?” You looked at him expectingly. “Then you can go back.”
“What are you a child? Why can’t you just go alone?” Legend snapped back, “you don’t have to be around me.”
“Legend I like being with you.” You pointed out like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “However.” You let go of his hand. “I also understand if you don’t want to hang out anymore and want to go rest.” There was no fighting back. No offense to his words. Nothing. Just a warm smile that filled him with warmth, that was accompanied by words fueled by unlimited care and understanding which made his heart beat faster. The silence between you two seemed to give you an answer. You turned around. A panicked feeling shot through. Legend was surprised with himself when he almost reached out to you when you walked away.
Instead, he watched you go. In the wake of his own emotions, he realized what had been happening. How he has been acting around you was starting to get familiar. “Not again.” He whispered disappointed in himself.
___________________________________
- Legend is going to be bitter about it. He isn’t going to take it out on you, but his mannerisms are going to be different after this.
- Not quite closed off, but it’s almost like he is mourning another loss.
- You would need to drown him in love and affection before he realizes you like him back. But like Twilight, he is going to be heartbroken if you decide to leave him to go back home.
___________________________________
Wild:
- Its progression was as natural as breathing.
- He just got off of his adventure so he always had you by his side. Just being near you is second nature.
- If anything, he was more than excited to actually have you physically be here alongside him.
- It rare to see ether of you not near each other when traveling together you two are inseparable.
___________________________________
The only upside of being in Wild’s Era is that the champion knew what to expect, it’s chaotic was normal for him and actually brought him a bit of peace. You came with that peace of mind. Having you join the chain to him was almost like you never left his side in the first place. From the moment he woke up after being told his name and what he needed to from Zelda, he was aware of your presence. You were the one to encourage him to explore the ruin kingdom. You were the one to recognize structures that the people in his world didn’t know about. The weird part was that you didn’t know how he was before the calamity, but he didn’t question that fact too much. He was more than happy to have someone treat him as a different person from before.
Now having you physically with him. Wild wanted to bring you to all of your favorite locations that you vocally told him about.
But that had to wait for now, because the downside to Wild’s Hyrule was the amount of things that wanted him dead. Moblins? Bokablins? Those guys are fine to fight they were push overs unless infected with the black blood. Actually, most of Wild’s monsters were like that. Once you get a hang of fighting them and recognize their patterns. They are a breeze.
A common threat that was annoy to deal with however, was the Yiga Clan. Which leads to the situation Wild and the others found themselves getting in while on the road to Hateno. He should of figured that they were going to strike when he got back to his Era. But he honestly didn’t think it would be in this quantity they were out number but thanks to Warriors taking control of the situation where managing. He was trying to make sure everyone was accounted for and was alive when he heard a string of curses coming from his right.
You had been knocked on the ground by a Blade Master. Your sword was near the clan member. Wild felt his world freeze in that moment as he bolted towards your body. With a falcon bow in hand. Wild side jumped. Locked in an ancient arrow and let it go.
The arrow sped towards the Blade Master. Hitting him directly. Turning the Yiga member into a bunch of Sheikah blue ribbons before collapsing into an orb where the arrow hit.
Wild slide towards your body. A pulse he needed to feel a pulse. Placing the tips of his index and middle finger on the base of your thumb and wrist. He pressed lightly to feel the blood pulsing beneath his fingers. A sigh of relief escaped him. Wild was lucky that the battle had come to an end. As the other Yiga members ether retreated in horror of what happened to one of their own or cut down quickly.
Hyrule join him soon after shooing him out of the way gently. Wild didn’t move from your side all that much. He didn’t want to. Just in case you left him too. He doesn’t know a life without you in it. A world like that just doesn’t exist.
Wild knows the name of the cause of his feelings. It’s the same thing that drives him to share his experience with you. He wants to be by your side and to make you happy.
___________________________________
- He is protective but not controlling. If anything, he wants to spar with you more. So, you can get better at fighting.
- You can bet he is going to start making you taste the different foods he had discovered, or sneak out to visit areas in his world more often. He doesn’t want you to miss a thing.
- There is so much he wants to do with you. So much he wants to share. So many things to say. That he just wants to do it all at once so there can be new things you both can discover together.
(Part 1)
#linked universe#linkeduniverse#Lu Wild#Lu Sky#Lu Legend#Linked universe x reader#SKY AND LEG GAVE ME SO MUCH TROUBLE#London Fog Tea
152 notes
·
View notes
Text
caught in a twin courtship
note from kin: i’m going to be honest i only really wrote this because the title is fun to say, so it isn’t as cohesive as i normally would have wanted to make it
(this is an au where the twins aren’t separated by the unknown god! instead, just their world-hopping powers were stolen, and that’s why they’re journeying to find said god - to get their powers back so that they can go home. i’ve also excluded paimon since i kind of forgot about her while writing this haha)
(this doesn’t follow canon at all since reader and the twins just kind of start wandering about after the dvalin incident rather than heading straight for liyue oops)
fandom: genshin impact
character(s): gn!reader, lumine, aether, diluc, venti, jean
pairing(s): aether/reader/lumine
warning(s): i don’t think so??
genre: fluff with a little bit sprinkling of angst
you first meet the twins in the aftermath of the stormterror battle. it isn’t a glamorous introduction by any means - it’s pretty unflattering, actually - but it definitely makes a powerful first impression.
the group - aether, lumine, venti, diluc, and jean - are on their way back to mondstadt city, making small talk here and there, but mostly just walking in silence.
then they hear a yell in the distance.
jean and lumine both drop into a battle stances, venti leaps to hide behind aether with a very unmanly squeak of fear… but diluc, who arguably should have been the most alerted by this occurrence, just gives a resigned sigh and pauses.
a split second later, a figure comes speeding up to the group. you barrel up to diluc and immediately punch him square in the stomach, yelling “why didn’t you tell me you were going after stormterror?!”
aether and venti both give matching gasps of horror at the blatant disrespect, but diluc only shakes his head and catches your fist as it goes for another blow, this one aimed at his chest, and chastises, “calm down, i left a note.”
“i left a note,” you mimic, an absolutely awful impression that has you sounding more like a mosquito than the darknight hero, “fat lot of use that is when you aren’t even telling me where you’re going!”
diluc evades another jab at his arm and firmly sets his hands on both your shoulders, effectively anchoring you to the ground. you contemplate swinging your feet at his knees and knocking him over, or maybe shocking him with your electro vision, but ultimately decide that you might as well try to preserve what little dignity you have left in front of those three people you’ve never met before
so you stop with a defeated sigh and turn to face said three people to introduce yourself
it turns out that you’re diluc’s cousin and he’s been having to baby-sit you for the last few years after your own parents left on a ‘business trip’ to snezhnaya that they’re still not back from
you’re pretty sure they’re dead, killed by the fatui, and you say as much during your introduction without even the slightest sign of distress, which is a little unsettling
lumine’s first thought is that you’re quite the interesting character, what with the casual way you treat diluc, and how you don’t seem to question whatever situation lead you to meet in the first place
aether’s first thought is holy shit, they’re cute
one twin greets you in return with a lot more enthusiasm than the other, and venti the bard wastes no time in asking whether you have access to good master diluc’s wine storage
(you’d be shocked by the audacity if you weren’t just as bad as him when it came to shamelessness)
strangely enough, the fact that aether likes you so much actually makes lumine more wary of you than she was initially
aether trusts too easily, and from experience, that usually leads to disaster - and your flippancy regarding your parents’ apparent probable deaths rather inclines her to think that you might be a very dangerous person indeed
the three of you don’t see each other for a couple of days after that - you and diluc leave for dawn winery together, while the twins depart with venti to wrap their whole situation up, and jean returns to her duties in mondstadt city
all this time, apparently unbeknownst to even himself, aether keeps finding ways to bring you up in the middle of conversation
you’d only spoken to him for a few minutes and somehow that as enough to get him absolutely fascinated
lumine would be lying if she said she wasn’t still curious about you as well, but it gets annoying after aether somehow manages to mention how ‘mysterious’ your black cloak is in the middle of a conversation about why mitachurls are able to randomly set their axes on fire
luckily for these two, they happen to run into you the very next day!
you’re in the middle of taking out a ruin guard stomping around the thousand winds temple - a ruin guard that the twins had been meaning to take down themselves, which is why they’re here in the first place
at first they move to help you, only to stop short and watch in awe as you plunge down at the ruin guard from atop one of the enormous pillars, your polearm held steady in your grasp as your entire body seems to spark and glow with a deep purple electro energy
the sharp blade of your polearm goes clean through the top of the ruin guard’s head and shatters its core, and it sinks to the ground with a massive thud that echoes around the temple ruins, massive wooden limbs twitching and jerking as the last of your vision’s energy disperses from it
aether and lumine are basically star-struck
from there you spot them and call them over for a conversation, show them how to take apart a ruin guard’s circuits to get at the good parts, and somehow end up agreeing to journey with them across teyvat in their search for an unknown god who stole their abilities to hop from world to world as well as their apparent true power that allows them to wield all seven elements at once
the details are a little lost on you, but what you’re hearing is that you get to go on a cool adventure with a cool gal and a cool lad, so you’re pretty much all for it
diluc isn’t too happy about you up and leaving without so much as two week’s notice (partially because he has literally no friends apart from you and he’d get lonely without his little cousin bothering him all the time) but you simply tell him to deal with it and go anyway
(you do give him a big hug and promise to visit, you’re not heartless)
from then on you, aether and lumine become a dynamic trio like no other
it’s actually pretty damn spooky how well the three of you end of working together
aether and lumine had long since formed a style of fighting that meant they made up for each other’s weak spots and could attack in perfect sync, but then you come along and somehow manage to make their already pretty flawless formation even better
is it witchcraft? they honestly don’t know
considering you fit so well into their battle strategies, it follows that you’d also slot perfectly into their every day life
lumine is cautious at first, wondering if your presence would disrupt her and her brother’s long since pre-established routines, but you fit in so naturally that it’s as if you were there all long
maybe it it’s this that makes both twins slowly start falling for you - the comfort of being beside you and the familiarity that you bring are things that they struggled to find, being trapped in a world far from their own with no way to get out, and they unknowingly latch onto you like drowning men clutching lifebuoys
aether is the most obvious about his feelings - he starts waking up earlier just because he knows you do, sitting beside you as you stoke a campfire and keep watch for any approaching monsters, making quiet conversation as lumine continues sleeping. he tells you stories about his adventures in other worlds, including an encounter with a rather bigoted individual who is the reason that he keeps his hair so long while lumine’s has been cut short
he even starts taking his hair out of its braid before he goes to sleep so that he can ask you to braid it for him when he wakes up
lumine is a lot more subtle
she finds excuses to stand closer to you when, deliberately brushing her fingers against yours when handing you something. she listens far more attentively to you when you speak than anyone else, and she smiles far more in your presence, hanging onto your every word and gazing at you so intensely that it’s almost unsettling
of course, the twins notice each other’s feelings pretty easily
at first neither acknowledges it - it’d be far too messy for both to accept that they’d both fallen in love with the same person, let alone actually admit this to each other
but it gets to the point where it just isn’t ignorable anymore, and finally the twins decide to talk
it’s about as civil and sensible as they could hope for with the subject at hand, and they eventually decide to talk to you about it
and so, we come to an ultimatum. what will your choice be?
if you reject both, it’ll be hard to continue adventuring with twins who can’t look in your direction. neither resent you, of course, but the atmosphere has become so stifling that they can’t even make eye contact
it’s as if an enormous gap has opened up between the three of you. the twins are avoiding each other as well, unsure of how to handle the fact that they’re both in love with the same person and have now both been rejected by that same person. if anything, they should be becoming closer out of solidarity, but it seems that they can’t stand to be in each other’s presence as much as they can’t stand to be in yours.
the three of you still work together as seamlessly in battle as you did before, but once the final monster has been cut down and your weapons are sheathed, that connection seems to disappear again.
it’s aether who finally breaks the stalemate. he starts trying to start conversations as the three of you sit awkwardly apart from each other around a fire, and while the first few attempts end in stony silence and an awkward cough on his part, eventually you begin replying with some semblance of the humour you used to
from there things only improve - the three of you come to a silent mutual agreement to leave this behind you, and soon you’re all laughing and joking as you used to
lumine and aether both know that they cannot force you to love either of them, and they respect your choice. if anything, they’re the ones in the wrong for springing something like this on you so suddenly, and they start to feel a little guilty that they were essentially pressuring you into making a choice that you were never obligated to make
so they return to treating you as a dear friend, just as before. things are different now, of course, but they can only be grateful that you continue to travel with them and stay by their side; this situation doesn’t make them love you any less, even if you don’t love them in the same way.
if you choose lumine, aether will be understanding. the twins have been each other’s only support for longer than they can remember, and as the older brother, he’s well used to giving things up for his sister.
he’ll still be friendly and amicable, but he won’t seek you out as much as he did before. he starts braiding his hair by himself again, and stays in bed as late as he can every morning so that he doesn’t have to be face to face with you. just because he’s accepted this doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt.
sometimes, when the sky grows dark and you and lumine have long since fallen asleep beside each other, he wonders to himself - why is it that he has to give everything to his sister? he’s given away so much, so why couldn’t the universe let him have this one thing?
but he knows, deep down, that this is nothing to do with the universe - you simply fell in love with someone that wasn’t him, his sister at that, and he’s struggling to come to terms with it.
he wants to hate you, hate lumine, hate the relationship that the two of you have formed, but he just can’t. he loves the both of you in different ways that are just as important as each other, and he can’t stand to lose either of you. he’d rather throw himself off of starsnatch cliff.
so he’ll smile and bear it, even if it’s a battle to keep himself from breaking down every time he sees the two of you lace your hands together, off in your own little word, so near and yet so far from him.
if you choose aether, lumine will become cold. at first, that is. she’s never been as empathetic as her brother, always holding grudges and developing dislike much more easily. it had taken a lot for her to open up to you in the first place, and now that you’ve rejected her, it’s going to take a while for her to return to the same camaderie with you that she had before.
lumine does not begrudge aether for being the one you chose. if anything, she’s glad - aether is always putting her first and himself second, and she’s happy that he has someone like you, who lights his eyes up in a way that she’s never seen before.
but our hearts often betray our mind, after all, and lumine can’t help but scowl and turn away every time she sees her brother wrap his arms around your waist or press a kiss to your cheek. despite her best efforts, all she can think is why? why did you have to choose him?
she can’t bring herself to hate you, though. as much as it feels like her heart is threatening to split down the middle when she sees you smile and is reminded of something that she cannot have, there is an equal joy in the fact that her brother can be with the person that he loves so dearly. if anything, the two of you deserve to be happy together.
lumine would never do anything that could take that away, and so she forces herself to accept it. it takes several days of tentative conversation and barely held back tears, but eventually the two of you seem to return to the way you were before - all friendly jabs and light-hearted banter and little jokes exchanged over crossed blades.
but lumine knows that your friendship can never be quite the same as it was before. she’ll forever be holding you at arm’s length, terrified to let you get too close lest you see how much your presence affects her. she can’t let you know how much she loves you because she will never be the one who links hands with you as you walk down a long, winding path, or the one who holds you close under a darkening sky filled with stars - because that person is aether, and she would sooner die before she takes her brother’s happiness away.
if you refuse to choose, the twins will be at a loss at what to do. they hadn’t considered this scenario - that you had somehow come to love both of them.
the confusion becomes joy soon enough, though. they realise what this means - they both love you, and you love both of them! isn’t this perfect?
neither are particularly thrilled at the concept of ‘sharing’ you with the other, so to speak, but in the end they both equally want each other to be happy as they want you to be, so the logical conclusion is that they both become your partners.
they’re not too sure how this should work, nor what sort of label to put on it, but they come to you tentatively with the idea anyway
to their joyous surprise, you agree!
and from then marks the point of no return…
aether is definitely the clingier of the two. once he realises that he’s allowed to show affection and be close to you for no particular reason, he won’t stop - it’s as if he absolutely has to be holding your hand or be standing or sitting as close to you as physically possible. he’s always buying you souvenirs at every place you stop by, scaling trees to pick apples for you when you mention a craving for fruit, presenting you little treasures that he’s found with all the pride of a golden retriever.
lumine is a more subdued kind of partner, preferring to demonstrate her feelings with little things like making your favourite food for dinner or bringing you sprigs of flowers that she’s secretly been collecting in order to present you with them. of course, that doesn’t mean she isn’t physically affectionate at all - she presses perhaps even closer to you than aether when you sleep beside her, and somehow her hand finds yours at every opportunity she has.
the twins clash every now and then, as siblings often do, except that you’re usually caught in the middle. their arguments are little more than playful squabbles, though - things like play-fighting over who gets to hug you first after a well-fought battle, or who gets to hold your hand on the way to the next village (you have to step in and remind them that you do, in fact, have two hands)
in conclusion: why choose one when you can have both and prevent the unchosen from having endless amounts of angst?
#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact imagines#genshin aether#genshin lumine#genshin traveller#aether x reader#lumine x reader#traveller x reader#fluff#love triangle#kinda??#just a little angst#as a treat#genshin diluc#genshin venti#unedited
770 notes
·
View notes