#honestly im in a sad mood
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You know how we see the Junior Quartet and we think "oh the little babies they're so silly and cute" and "protecc the children"?
Yeah. Angst and spoilers under the cut:
Friendly reminder that wwx and his generation were the same age as the Junior Quartet during the start of the Sunshot Campagin.
For perspective:
Wwx was around the same age as post-timeskip Sizhui when lotus pier burned. When he gave up his core. When he was captured and tortured by the Wens. When he was thrown into the Burial Mounds. When he cultivated a new path. When he returned changed.
Wwx, lwj, their whole generation.
They were children, too.
#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#wei ying#wei wuxian#lan zhan#lan wangji#junior quartet#lan sizhui#jin ling#lan jingyi#ouyang zizhen#honestly im in a sad mood#and these are my sad thoughts
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don’t think I’ve put any of my zosan doodles on here before bc im shy but it’s mostly a lot of the same
#I honestly don’t think they’d do stuff like this often or much at all im just personally never in the mood to draw anything else#I like to draw hugs and intimacy when im sad and. well!#one piece#zosan#roronoa zoro#vinsmoke sanji#my art#sketches#sketch dump#edit ok the readmore pic broke so I’m forgoing it sorry
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i want to fall in love in a way that always gives me something positive to think of like i want to love someone so much that i know i can send my thoughts in their direction to calm myself down and get away from everything else for a bit i don’t know i guess i just want something good to think about
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#ugh ignore me#again im going through a lot right now#i dont know im just tired#and sad and sick of thinking#and it’s like there’s no mental safe spaces in my mind right now#because it all just redirects back#just feedback loop forever#and i just wish i had something safe to think about i guess#im sorry im sad posting i just honestly don’t have anything else to give right now
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[Image Description: Two unfinished digital paintings / sketches of the hatchling and Hal from outer wilds. they are standing with their arms around each other and the hatchling has their head leaning on hal's shoulder as hal watches the supernova in the distance through the doorway of the museum. the first image is the scene viewed from behind with everything lit in bright blue with dark shadows. the second image shows hal's face looking in fear towards the light and is only partially colored, the rest sketched over a gray background. End Image Description.]
something you'll run back in for when the house burns down
#im going to post something on halloween but also want to post like sketch compilations and unfinished stuff#bc I draw alllll the tiiimeee and theres so much and its just going to get buried in my hard drive if I dont do anything with it#I'm so shy to post this but im in a good mood today so ok you can have the hal post#::) hal.#I wanted to finish these sooo badly and I still want to - it might take me completely reworking it again though :P#im scared this will become one of those pieces where i improve at anatomy more then look back at this one and be like. Gah what was I doing#honestly thats already happened. these are from several months ago#I kept their expression kind of neutral.. both because I dont think I could accurately capture the sheer dumfounded horror.#also because my heart will shatter into many pieces if I draw hal too sad#anyway the caption is a lyric from alone by tresspassers william#the album that song is from is called different stars and its one of my favorite albums ever ever <3 its very somber but I love it#this song doesnt even remind me of these two thaaat much#but theres other songs on the album that do more.. like vapour trail... and anchor oh my god. anchor...#and if you cant steer then it would be safer to drop the anchor 🤔🤔#ok I'm done talking now bye hal fans#outer wilds#outer wilds spoilers#very early spoilers. lol sub 23 minute spoilers#hal outer wilds#hatchling outer wilds#the hatchling#timber hearth#. I guess?
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The desire to write a 200-page-long dissertation on Percival de Rolo’s journey and the deep importance of how trauma presents itself and isn’t easily healed and on the meaning of vengeance and the trials and crushing guilt that manifests which one must fight through to truly forgive themselves and learn to live again baked into his story Vs. my biological requirement of sleep to be a functioning human being: FIGHT
#im writing essays and apparently its got me in one hell of a mood because i just want to rant about him for hours#honestly i just want to rant about all of VM and how much I love their arcs and stories#but percy truly does have me by the throat and his sad little trauma hair and tortured inventor aesthetic just does something to me#good god. he's the only character ever actually#blorbo of all fucking time#critical role#cr1#vox machina#percy de rolo#percival de rolo#putting his full name just for the fuck of it#percival fredrickstein von musel klossowski de rolo iii#tlovm#lovm#the legend of vox machina#andis thought geyser
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kind of want to rewatch cowboy bebop
#honestly i dont know why i just got this wave of nostalgia for some reason#i watched it in the middle of the pandemic. i distinctly remember binging it and eating icecream sandwiches#ik the pandemic was bad but i. i kind of miss sitting around.........#missing that 3 2 1 lets jam you know.#honestly out of all the watanabe productions its really not my most favorite.#space dandy and samurai champloo are my personal favorites#but i've been in a cowboy bepop mood lately. not sure why#its kind of sad though that its the most popular...WHERE ARE MY SPACE DANDY FANS!! HELLOOO#if cowboy bebop and samurai champloo are like bleach and naruto space dandy is like the gintama#which isnt a great analogy but i think it works.#not to mention the fact that the music SLAPS. honestly all three of them have great soundtracks but#space dandy really is my favorite. it just scratches an itch in my brain idk what to say#if space dandy has 1 million fans i am one of them if space dandy has 100 fans i am one of them if space dandy has#10 fans i am one of them. if space dandy has 1 fan that is me. if space dandy has no fans then i am no longer on this earth. thank you#oh and not to mention that the animation is stunning. they get experimental with it and its really cool#its done by the same people who animated mob pyscho i think. not 100% about that but im p sure#i would rb sooooo many gifs but. no one cares about it unfortunately :\#sorry this totally derailed. uh. now i kind of want to rewatch space dandy instead lol
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good god girl get over it
#every few weeks i get nostalgic n make myself sad#i had a friend that i rlly miss like 5yrs ago but idek how i would get in touch or if it would be intrusive n awkward#im sure we'd still rlly like eachothers company idek why we stopped talking#i think it's bc we both never had phones at the time#i kept breaking mine n they owned an old nokia that was never charged#plus some other weird social stuff that's immature now that i think of it#it doesn't matter honestly i just got into a “i miss that dumb mf he rlly got me” kinda mood
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ugghhh wintertime sucks!! I'm sad and tired and sad all the time.. I need a nap.. and f/o cuddles.. and another nap..
#ash rambles 💚#negative#part of it is definitely the weather#it's so dark and dreary and i never wanna leave my bed#but also just. my mood akdjajs I'm kinda down in the dumps today#im recovering from being sick which always fucks me up#and i just cant shake this feeling of anxiety..? and i feel kinda a lot like my f/os wouldnt like me or would fall out of love or never see#me as more than a friend and other stuff like that#i.. actually got broken up with yesterday irl!#it wasnt messy. he said that this isnt what he wanted and it was fine and we're back to being pals. i wasnt sad at all in the moment and#i dont think i am now..? it's weird. we were laughing like always literal minutes after having the chat. when we got together we said that#if things domt work out we wanna keep being friends. and we're doing just that. honestly i saw it coming and idek if i LOVE him anymore#what even does love feel like..? regardless I'm not upset or sad at my breakup since i saw it coming and I'm honestly happy he just. Talked#to me about it. we communicated and then three minutes later went back to talking about x.enoblade LMAAOO it was fun!#but it is ridiculous for me to expect to feel NOTHING at no longer being in a relationship. i cant just feel nothing. i dont feel sad per s#just... in my thoughts i guess? I don't think the feeling of my f/os not liking me stems from me being dumped though. i think thats just me#being me sjdjaksj I'm very insecure a lot of the time. i dont think being dumped helpd very much though LMAAAOO#I'm doing okay i promise. and I'll be alright. theres just both a lot and nothing going on at the same time and i feel... idk what i feel.#i hope my f/os love me 😭 i hope that a lot#and honestly i know this community is ass and I'm more than happy in my own corner with my couple of followers but. ngl I've really felt as#though I'm not valued here and all that junk as of late. yeah just.. i think everything is happening at the same time and I'm tired and#i feel like I'm a confused kiddo who doesnt know anything anymore BAHAHAHA#holy shit it just sounds like i need a shower and a nap huh- I'll be alright I'm just. dealing with stuff akdjsks but i also hate to always#bring the mood down like this! i always try my best to be haha silly and all that shit. I'm just gonna try to daydream about f/o cuddles#(and try to convince myself they dont hate me ofc)#oh and. i know i mentioned this but. i hate the weather. so much. I'm sad all the time. November is actually my least favorite month too 😭#I've gotta study a lot today and I'll try to sneak in some k.urohyou and hopefully start watching monster too but yeah i apolgize if#I'm acting off these days ajdjajs I'm very stuck in my own mind these days. not exactly the most fun place to be 😭#delete later#i mean akdjajs i literally started crying the other day because my friend said that my husband (k.yohei) loves me ajdkahdb come on ash..
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hhbh
#okay nvm all that#im having A Day. was supposed to see bf and go to the fair but im sick etc#i was playin videoed games w my friend and ik he didn't purposefully ghost me#he really did get called by his parents or somethin and didnt get back for however long but i dropped from the game and the call bc#i am in a mood . not his fault. that+something else i Really want to check him on but once again its not actually a big deal i am just#cranky. if i did actually get on his ass he would call me and ask if i'm okay which is some bullshit . if i dodged dnd tonight he would do#the same thing but like. mmmm depression. i am very sad. and cranky in pain and i miss my bf and im sick of working at fucking walmart#and now i have to listen to people talk about trump tomorrow and i was gonna see my bf today and i miss him really bad and i dont wanna tal#to anyone else#to be soooo fr i am honestly just like. critically low on affection/attention. rn. i know myself.#i cant just skip dnd that's a shitty move but god i wanna go to sleep <- in pain and sad and cranky and i miss my boyfriend badly#i'm just cranky. but like. augh. let me out of here.#everything sucks. um i have been depressed for going on six months and i am really sick of it. to be honest.
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🔥 assassinate someone
It's Bitching Hours || Open!
[I'm not gonna wax philosophical about this but this salty post is me just telling you to be nice to at least your friends. Check in on 'em now and again. People sit around here and preach it all the time, but I doubt they actually follow through with it. But it can literally mean the world to someone who might be struggling, silently or not so silently. I just think it's something we should all work on and be mindful of. Even if you think you're doing it enough, do it more.]
#.:ask:.#.:ooc:.#athenafire#i ran out of smoke and now im just sad tired#which is the usual mood honestly\#BUT yeh i wanna work on this more. even tho i think i do pretty well with it
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#im going through it right now#i always feel so sad when other people talk bad about their earlier stuff#even when it's not as ''''''good''''' as their current stuff#bc art is so raw and i love seeing the journey#and honestly i still like that stuff#two cakes and all that#but it's sooooo hard to apply that to myself#i must.....not.....cringe.....at......my........art!!!#mood#my stuff#art#skill#art positivity
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Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(
#mine#oh boy here we go. guy last post was about has been pretty cool and i got flustered around him a few times#but i feel bad bc. i need m o r e he isnt insane enough he isnt making me go absolutely crazy i want to be satisfied but im NOT im sorry#like its quite honestly the most attention acceptance etc ive gotten but its not ENOUGH he doesnt die whenever i send a selfie#im never satisfied WHY i have unrealistic expectations !!!! i hate my brain killing and violence and death etc#i get crushes on guys who want nothing to do with me but then when one actually wants me its not enough? what is wrong with me#thrill of the chase? i cant accept being loved? what is it brain. christ almighty. im not doing anything like deliberately yandere related#anymore im just being generally incomprehensibly mentally ill 🙄 still trying to find a therapist but idk how on earth ill explain that#ill update this post tomorrow with more insanity but for now i am the sleepy tired#// ok its now 3 days later i dont feel like making another post. i think i was just having a mental illness moment as always#because he does make me insane. hashtag girl. im trying to be the smartest and calculated i have ever been with a relationship in my life#like im thinkin about it so hard bro. the future n shit. how would this relationship go. im so scared ill do something wrong its preventing#me from doing things RIGHT. im sad becaude i flipped out today over even imagining him being upset with me a little#so i was really embarrassed and it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night but he reassured me he doesnt hate me or want me to die#every one aaalways says theyre different. i can only hope this one is telling the truth. i dont know what ill do if he isnt.#well i need to stop whining about fictional scenarios and focus on the good stuff in reality. i get along with him very well and he#is very niceys to me :3 he doesnt think im fucking insane or stupid for overreacting. i feel very comfortable gossiping and talking w him#every long time blog viewer of mine reading this like ah shit here we go again#but thats what im here for. i guess. just have to keep doing this shit until something good finally happens to me romantically hngh#i feel so strange because i have wanted and yearned for a relationship but now that i actually could have one im like WAIT#I DIDNT THINK ID GET THIS FAR 💀💀💀 bruh. and he doesnt even think im stupid hes respectful to me he checks in on me all the time#like perhaps the only person to ever actually almost match my energy in a romantic sense. there was [redacted] i guess but he didnt love me#he listens to me talk about my problems he doesnt think i complain or overreact too much. all the ridiculous cringe shit i do#he doesnt mind it. its nice to be able to be myself. and im really proud of myself for not rushing into a relationship right away
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,
#got sad because i thought about how lonely i am and then that triggered me to think about [redacted] and that put me in a BAD MOOD-#especially since its christmas eve it was not a good combination#and then i had to go be with my family and not act like i wanted to disappear and so as im battling that every little thing is making me-#upset (because i get very irritable easily especially when in a triggered/anxious state)#i accidentally spilled my drink all over the floor and that just set me off right there#calmed myself down by watching some videos and then i started feeling better enough to go out to the living room to attempt to get-#some cookies (key word ATTEMPT) and as im walking into the kitchen to put my plate away (i finished eating in my room its just tragic reall#i tripped on something glass and it fell over on the floor#....i was SO done after that i put my plate in the sink and slammed my door (not my brightest move im sorry)#and so then my mom talks to me later (when were on our way to church) and shes like 'im not surprised you slammed your door honestly'#and then i started feeling better after i realized she wasn't mad at me at all for this (because im still trying to deal with new triggers)#so anyways then i went to church came home watched white christmas and finished wrapping presents#and now im ready to celebrate christmas#no one cares kristen
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Glad your hand is feeling better, Prim!!!!
Girl, you have NO idea how nice it is to be able to move my fingers without crippling pain. I'm not at 100% yet (can't fully bend them still) but I'm doing better, so thanks <3
#honestly i kinda feel like I broke one of my knuckles#but whatever#not writing#that being said i am sad#because no more pikmin :(#the final boss was kinda insane though#oh well#scarvio dlc is technically coming out tonight so thats exciting#im in a very rambly mood so im gonna stop taggin#lest this spiral out of control
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a quick question, but am i the only one that can only listen to very specific versions of christmas songs?
cause in my 30 years of living i have never been able to listen to certain songs unless they are the versions i had on casette when i was a child, and some of those seem to be incredibly hard to track down as theres. SO MANY versions of these songs nowadays as they are popular christmas songs after all. this is also why i dont listen to christmas music like, at all - cause it needs, for me, to be these exact versions i grew up with or none at all. everything else sounds and feels wrong
#and ofc i dont have that cassette anymore or remember what it was called or anything so like. bleh#but yeah every time i try to purposely listen to christmas songs unless i find the exact versions i grew up with i dont like them#cant get in the holiday mood whatsoever with just some random jingles#it needs to be MY jingles. the ones i did grow up with. listening to every year multiple times every decemeber#maybe im just picky idk but yeah. thats one big reason why holiday music is a big turn off for me#not only cause these songs are terrible and corny and honestly either just sad or preachy but uuuh yeah#anyways ramble time is over i gotta head out woo#night is an absolute mess on main
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honeslty this is nice
#ngl most of the songs in my favorites in spotify are so sad or depressing so when im not in that mood its hard to find something to listen t#too#at one point i thought all my shit was just depressing music#but on shuffle rn and i do have happy music to listen too. very much improved my mood on my dumb little walk#its not that all my songs are depressing; my songs i consider happy are just slow and feel good rather than pop hype happy#which honestly. yeah i can see that. guess i dont know myself that well#or maybe i really do know myself since i do like these songs#anyway mathrock is good you guys should listen to some titles in the genre if you want to adventure#personally like Puddle by chon and For long tomorrow (i think) by toe#i say i think because i havent looked up the english title for that album lol#anyway good songs!
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