#just feedback loop forever

[napping-sapphic]

i want to fall in love in a way that always gives me something positive to think of like i want to love someone so much that i know i can send my thoughts in their direction to calm myself down and get away from everything else for a bit i don’t know i guess i just want something good to think about

[stuffyflowers]

Me when I cannot believe what just happened

[euclydya]

sjsjxjajdhxjajfxjxncf

[solradguy]

Whenever I see someone being transphobic on twt in a bridget thread i reply with three pictures of my mains: ky kiske from ac+r, ky kiske from rev 2, and ky kiske from strive.

it self selects for people who actually play the game. it’s canon that he’ll fight off transphobes with the blade. and if they actually played guilty gear they’d get the underlining messages

While it can be really funny to bully these guys back, please keep in mind that nothing you can say or do to these people will hurt them or waste as much of their time as what they say will stick with you or waste your time. It might be funny to send them a bunch of Ky pictures, but what they're doing is laughing that the only response the people they hate can give them is sending a bunch of pictures of anime boys.

The only thing that works is blocking them. They've turned being an asshole into a recreational sport and getting any sort of response in return is a victory for them.

[love-songs-for-emma]

Which one of my illnesses gives the symptom where "If I'm not 2 hours early to [the event], then I better not go"?

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[floral-hex]

Two hours. I got two hours of sleep. I’m so frustrated with myself.

Went to the ER. Everyone was very nice. They gave me an IV bag of fluids (I was dehydrated! Sad cactus!) and a little ativan (teeny dose), which was nice at the time! Just a little amount, but the (mostly) quiet room, fluids, and meds managed to relax me a lot. Could have fallen asleep if the bed was actually comfortable. Then they packed me up, gave me another little Ativan to take home for tonight, and said they’d contact my primary. Cool cool. Got some much needed food on the way home, then took the pill and got comfy. Again, smallest dosage they make, so no feeling too good. Managed to muscle past my anxiety to fall asleep, and… 2 hours. Woke up. Tried to go back to sleep. Too frustrated and anxious and I feel like crap. What should I do? Just eat a whole gummy and hope that knocks me out? For me, that feels like playing roulette. Could work, yeah. Could make me sleepy and pliable. Could also backfire and make me feel sick and extra anxious for another 5 or 6 hours. What do I do? Roll back up to the ER? “Hewwo, I woke up and I need more benzos 👉👈🥺” haha funny, but I’ve seriously been thinking about it 😑

God, I’m miserable. Been sitting outside on the porch for a bit. Not quite an hour. Needed to get out of the apartment, but tbh, nearly 4am outside isn’t doing much for me. I just feel alone. It wouldn’t help with sleeping, per se, but just someone, I dunno, hugging or holding me for a few minutes would honestly save me a little. What a mess. Oh yeah, and apparently my kidneys are going 👎👎👎 down. Bad meat. Not great test results. Not what I’m focusing on tonight. I’m a mess. Anyway, this was my update. Sorry for all the walls of text. Suppose this is mainly for me to look back on in the future, but can’t pretend it’s not at least a little validating to put this all out into the world and knowing that maybe one or two people read this and I didn’t suffer completely without recognition. Yeah…

[clusterduck28]

[synthetic-sonata]

really awesome day to think everythings going alright and then you wake up and get hit in the face twice in a row

[krysmcscience]

Hi this comic was just meant as lineless color practice but it took forever and now I never want to look at it again :)

Rambles and textless versions under the cut:

So yeah, I'm a little feral about the idea that the reason Narinder remains immortal if he's spared after his defeat is because the Lamb still has continued and unswerving devotion towards him.

I'm also kinda feral about the idea that said devotion lets him use more and more of his old powers over time up until he could even effectively RE-ascend to godhood.

And I'm especially feral about the idea that it very quickly has him latching onto the Lamb with his own equal and desperate devotion until it becomes this wild feedback loop between the two of them, and leaves them both not only grossly overpowered, but hopelessly and obsessively intertwined in the sort of love that would be concerning beyond belief if it involved literally any other two individuals but them.

Now have these textless versions:

I feel like the fourth panel is especially busy but Oh Well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I may have another mostly serious Narilamb comic in the works, but it's not going to be in color because it's five pages and that's a lot and I am so tired

[vidduality]

SPOILERS for Episode 6 of the Avatar Live Action series

AKA why this episode makes me SO grateful for this adaptation (re: the Zuko flashbacks and the Agni Kai).

----

Wow.

I admit, I was really worried at the idea that Zuko might potentially fight back in the Agni Kai against his father in the live action. I expected to HATE it, and it's certainly a bold change, but it fits in SO WELL with why Zuko is the way that he is (and why he works so hard to push down his empathy whenever Aang tries to reason with him).

The Agni Kai - Zuko obviously did NOT want to fight his father. He still tried to apologize and beg for mercy, but in the end he was just too terrified of his father to disobey a direct order.

But when Ozai left him an opening to see what he'd do with it, Zuko couldn't bring himself to actually land a blow that might burn him. Making his lack of ruthlessness the weakness that Ozai ends up mutilating him for - even straight up telling Zuko that compassion is weakness and then demonstrating by holding his own child down and lighting him on fire - adds a layer of depth that only enhances the original scene (and in another stroke of genius, we see Ozai nearly in tears himself. He's convincing himself of this lesson as well as Zuko, which was likely passed down to him by his own father). Honestly, this to me is even more heartbreaking than Ozai burning him for refusing to stand and fight. Zuko did everything his father asked and he still failed, because his family has distorted what it means to be honorable and believes Zuko's capacity for mercy to be a shameful weakness unbecoming of an heir to the throne.

The 41st Division - And here come the waterworks. Assigning the very people Zuko was hurt so severely for trying to save to his ship as it's being cast out of the fire nation (presumably forever, with the Avatar not having been seen in 100 years) is SUCH a brilliant addition. His crew resents Zuko for being stuck on this impossible mission with this bratty, angry child. And Zuko is too ashamed of his "weakness" to explain why they were assigned to him.

I can totally see Zuko's hurt at their lack of respect making him even more angry (especially after everything he went through to save them from being sacrificed), and his seemingly irrational anger at them just continuing to make them resent him more in a neverending feedback loop of anger and disrespect that's been growing and festering for 3 years.

Which makes the scene at the end when Zuko's crew finally learns about how he saved their lives (as well as why he's obsessed with the avatar, why he's banished, what his scar means and why he's trying so very hard to rid himself of empathy, even if he can never quite manage it when it counts) so much more impactful. I SOBBED when the 41st Division stood at attention and showed him their utmost respect and loyalty, possibly for the first time since they've been on that ship. Zuko's soft "what's going on?" at finally being honored by his crew is just imprinted on my brain.

The seed of the idea that his compassion may NOT actually be what was shameful about his banishment afterall can finally begin to take root.

I just, damn, I love this episode so much.

[bbyquokka]

4:59 pm (bc)

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 | bang chan x gender neutral reader

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 | timestamp, smut – 18+ is strongly advised!

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 | established relationship, descriptions of sex, reader and chan are grossly in love

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 | 0.6k ~ (666)

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 | im out of the loop when it comes to writing smut so this is kinda like practise plus i just wanted to write something soft

♡ m.list — ♡ you can also read it on my ao3

dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

his body feels heavy on top of you but also soothing in a strange way. his fingers slip between yours, fitting perfectly as if fate designed you both fittingly.

it's a cold and wet night, the rain beating against the glass of the window. the moonlight peeking in through the gap of the curtains. occasionally, they'd be a sudden gust of wind entering the bedroom via the open window but the warmth from chan makes it feel like the sun is beating down on your skin.

his soft grunts and groans mix with yours. lips pressing against your already kiss bitten ones as he hungers for more. you feel so nice around him, so snug and warm and he can't help but think and feel like you really were made for him.

your hands pinned by the side of your head by chan’s. his hands squeezing yours as he pushes his length further inside of you. you both let go of that strangled moan that's been teasing the back of your throats as he pushes and pulls.

his sweat-coated chest leans down and rests on yours, head buried in the crook of your neck. you smell salty but sweet, an intoxicating scent that tickles and caresses his nostrils. his breath fans against your hot skin, giving it a cooling sensation that makes goose bumps rise to the surface.

with each rock of his hips, the springs of the mattress creak whilst the sheets are pushed to the side until it's eventually on the wood floor; joining the discarded clothes and underwear.

chan whispers your name over and over again. he makes your name sound so sweet as it rolls off his tongue, dripping in love and sweetness like it's coated in a thick glaze of honey. it makes you feel butterflies.

the pit of your stomach feels warm and fluttery. it rises to the back of your throat where you want to scream from the top of your lungs and let the world know that you love this man! 

your heart feels like it's going to grow legs and jump straight out of your chest. the constant badump, badump, badump ringing in your ears and you wonder if chan can hear the sound of your heart – the sound that he causes.

chan has never felt so smitten before. the love he feels for you is so enormous and strong, that he doesn't know what to do with it. he feels like he could scoop it all up in a box, wrap it up and gift it to you but the love will overflow and spill.

he fears that his love for you is too strong, that it'll scare you away. he wants to care for you, nourish you and hide you away forever and ever.

he would if he could. he doesn't want the outside world to look at you because of how gorgeous you are to him. he's a jealous man but he hides it because he doesn't want to scare you away. he finally has you all to himself so he will do everything in his power to keep you.

he's addicted to you and vice versa. the slow, yet long and powerful thrusts of chan's hips is proof of that. his slow, yet broken panting and words ring in your ears. 

the constant “i love you”s wrapping around your heart a million times over and squeezing it, making you feel chest pain and overwhelmed with how much love this man has for you.

“you’re mine, right?” chan whispers as he lifts up his head to look down at you. his voice is dry and scratchy, but it sounds so beautiful – perfect even. 

you reach up and place your hot palm against his cheek gently, stroking under his eye with your thumb. he responds by placing one hand on top of yours and nuzzling into your palm, eyes fluttering shut as he takes a shaky breath of air.

“always chan. i’m forever yours.”

[thefirstknife]

They have confirmed that the cutscene will be viewable in the game when this year ends:

For those wondering... yes, this cinematic will continue to be viewable in-game after Year 6 of Destiny 2 concludes!

I understand the frustration of the cycling content, but I feel like at least some form of trust in the narrative team should be there. The cutscene was huge and it was a huge reveal and it just makes no sense to me that people would think that the cutscene will just never be shown again or referenced or explained. It didn't make sense to me even before they confirmed that not only will the cutscene remain important, but that it will remain fully viewable in the game. But yeah, in this case at least, rest easy. This will remain in the game. We don't know how yet or if it will include other cutscenes as well, but we'll see.

I know that a lot of people who fixated on it are genuinely interested in the lore and the story and were genuinely wondering about this cutscene (me included!), but I know for a fact that this was amplified tenfold by people who don't care either way. Believe it or not, the majority of the playerbase skips cutscenes and dialogues. The point here is that people were being disingenuous with their negativity in order to pile up on already existing negativity about a topic that 90% of the playerbase doesn't care about, while saying that this simply should've been in the main campaign which betrays their lack of understanding and care for the story.

got tired of people saying that the Witness origins cutscene should have been in Lightfall so I guess I'm making this post.

first of all. there's the logistical issue of what character in lightfall would even have the information Ahsa is telling us without making huge changes to the structure of the campaign and at that point just wait till season of the deep where the cutscene fits much better anyway.

also this probably isn't surprising but many people complaining about this don't actually think about WHY the cutscene is placed in Deep instead of Lightfall logistically, let alone thematically.

So what's Lightfall about? Grief, as it is not very subtle about. Specifically about how different people deal with and process grief (ex. how Osiris is clearly not dealing with the loss of Sagira and his light, Nimbus pushing down their grief for Rohan, Caiatl's own relationship with her father etc) and obviously strand is a metaphor for that.

On the other hand, Season of the Deep is more focused on finding out what the Witness is and finding a way for Ahsa to tell us that information. It fits here better because 1. Ahsa is the only thing person that would have this information and 2. It parallels very nicely with Sloane because of the whole "singleminded pursuit of a single goal" with the Witness's pursuit to find the Final Shape and Sloane's tendency to forget everything else but "the mission". (she even notes this in dialogue right after the cutscene, it's not exactly subtle). Putting this cutscene in the actual campaign would make no sense, ruin the pacing, and take away from a cool parallel that we got with Sloane

[cheeseceli]

Just like now

Pairing: yeonjun × Gn!reader

Genre: fluff, short drabble, sort of friends to lovers

Description: yeonjun thought he could endure being just friends with you, but a rainy night showed him that he might've been wrong

A/n: I love to write epiphany with literally no dialogue, it's healing

Playing now just like now, by xeed

It felt like a loop. This endless cycle of looking at your eyes, feeling so much love that he thought his heart wouldn't be able to handle it and then not saying anything. Yeonjun was stuck in this limbo, and he hated it.

He was not shy, not at all. He was known as the biggest flirter in his group of friends, for God's sake. And still, every time he tried to confess to you, he'd become a blushing mess and end up saying something that was completely unrelated to what he wanted to say at first.

For a while he thought it was okay. He couldn't bring himself to ask you out but at least you could see each other as friends. He wasn't brave enough to kiss you but at least you would still hug him at times. He still had you, just not in the way he wanted. But that was okay. Until tonight.

Tonight you were both looking at the night sky after running away from a boring party. Yeonjun had offered you his jacket and God, you looked so beautiful with his clothes covering your shoulders. You were sitting close enough to almost lean on each other, but none of you did it because that would be too intimate, wouldn't it? The stars were reflected in your eyes and he wished so much to just come closer to you. But he couldn't. Because you were just friends. And suddenly that wasn't okay anymore.

He wanted to stop time. He wanted to be with you, that way, forever. Because this moment was so precious to him. But he'd wake up tomorrow morning and he wouldn't have this moment anymore. He'd just have a memory. That could be good, if it wasn't for the fact that he'd probably never live it again. Because you were just friends.

As if the weather could feel the debate inside Yeonjun's head, it started to pour. Just like that the raindrops washed his thoughts away. Or maybe you did.

You were chuckling, looking above as if the rain didn't bother you in the slightest. You looked so beautiful. He wished his forever could be just like now. Comforting, happy, light. With you.

And then you looked at him. Water was running down your face and there was a huge chance your clothes would be drenched by the end of the night. But you were smiling.

That was enough for Yeonjun to want to break the cycle. He didn't want to shy away and live another day with you in his memory only. If there was any chance that you felt the same, he was ready to go for it.

When he locked eyes with you, you didn't avert your gaze. When he moved closer, you didn't move away. And when he finally kissed you, you didn't stop smiling.

Perhaps he was creating a memory that he could live again later. Perhaps he was allowing himself to live just like now forever. And so did you.

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!

[drdemonprince]

Hey, I just wanted to thank you for your honesty and willingness to explain how queer spaces can be a lot less transphobic than discourse within the trans community can make it seem. A lot of the past few years for me have been spent closeted out of fear that reactions around me would be uniformly hostile. Things are obviously going to be different for me as a transfem, but I have a much easier time being optimistic now!

I am so glad! Listen, the people who post online all the time about how miserably hard it is to find a place for oneself as a trans person create a kind of reverse survivorship bias. They are the people who have already convinced themselves it's best to forever remain closeted or that forging any kind of accepting community for oneself is impossible. Often, they are also people who once harbored unrealistic fantasies about just strolling up one day into a pre-existing community that was perfect for them, not realizing that we must form our relationships painstakingly one by one (it tends to be the white eggs/unhappy lonely trans people who are most prone to thinking of community in that way). there's plenty of trans guys who are doomers like this too and they really tend to actively encourage one another to remain locked away. it's like incel kind of behavior when it's taken to its most extreme form. sometimes, it can be outwardly really nasty homophobic shit too (especially among "afabs" who complain about "cis gays" never accepting them and being super privileged). in its milder form, it's just extreme trauma brain.

The people you do not hear from so much are the people who are busy out in the world going on dates, acting in plays, getting their asses spanked in dungeons, playing tabletop roleplaying games, and going to farmer's markets with their three also transgender wives. Those are the people who know (that is to say, have learned!) how to interact with their fellow queer people, have spent some time out in the community, and in all likelihood have many rich friendships with cis lesbians, cis gay men, enbies, asexuals, bisexuals, straight ish poly people, and everybody else under our big umbrella.

I don't want to be overly pollyannaish because of course trans people have a tough time, and especially trans women have unfortunately to be on the lookout for really vile transmisogyny. But I think when people are wounded and traumatized by these things, they sometimes make the entire world sound incredibly unwelcoming, which creates a self-limiting feedback loop of isolation and mistrust. That is what trauma does! But it is not the truth. and we only learn otherwise when we give other people the chance to prove our worst fears wrong.

Like, just for an example, this Sunday I was at a silent book club at Dorothy, a gay bar on the west side that skews lesbian but is for everyone. I'd never been there before but it was an absolutely charming experience! Dozens upon dozens of lesbians draped over couches and curled up in chairs with their books, quaffing cocktails, alongside a few random dots of gay and/or trans men. Trans women were just a natural completely unremarkable feature of this environment. I couldn't even tell you how many t girls were there. It would be like counting plus sized girls or butches at this lesbian function. If it's a good lesbian function, there's gonna be a diverse crowd and it won't be weird or a big deal to anyone, they'll just be like any other women there. a lot of the big lesbian events here in Chicago (like Strapped) are organized by trans women, so of course there's a robust trans femme presence there.

And all of these groups at this function were getting laid. the couches were overflowing with women, so many that girls were grabbing pillows to sit on and huddle together with their books on the floor. Girls canoodled and cuddled on couches. I saw a cis alt girl covered in facial piercings flirting with a very prim and proper trans girl who was dressed like a victorian governness. they didnt know one another, but after the silent book club hour was done, they left for a while together, then came back with some food. across from me and my friends, i watched them gathering up on the couch, the space between their bodies slowly closing up into nothing over the course of the evening. they flirted and touched and then left the bar together to (and im no expert on body language but i could pick up on this one) fuck eachothers tits right off.

and of course plenty of other lesbians and wlw paired off or tripled off and had their fun too. again, just like steamworks, fat people, thin people, black and brown people, white people, disabled people, neurodivergent people, trans people, older people, younger people, everybody was there. like any good queer space, it was just a reflection of humanity. there is always more that can be done to make these spaces more broadly accessible to full community. but part of that is by putting ourselves there.

again i dont mean to make it sound like finding and making one's space is easy! especially not for trans women! but I also don't want people to get seduced by the hopeless jadedness that some foment online. there are spaces that some trans women I know will never go to -- even an explicitly trans affirming bookstore like Women and Children First gives many trans women I know bad vibes they cant quite explain but all feel (the store is owned and run by old white cis lesbians, it's not surprising to me that it's a little fucked no matter their good intentions) -- and ive heard people say transmisogynistic stuff at events, particularly from "ill date anybody but cis men" type t boys (my brothers, i hate you). shit can be tough. very tough. but also, the world isn't all uniformly as hostile as it's made out to be. there are people who are desperate to meet you. I hope you will come out to find them.

[demilypyro]

So after playing the game and turning it around in my head for several hours as I went back over all the info I gathered... here's what I personally think happened in Signalis.

This take isn't entirely comprehensive. There's a lot of elements I don't feel I'm smart enough to fully understand, and I acknowledge that the story being open to interpretation is the point. But this is what I took from the game.

During the war on Vineta, two soldiers of the Nation fight together against the Empire. Alina Seo and Lilith Itou. Spending many years together, the two fall in love.

Lilith dies in battle, and the Nation uses a backup of her personality to create the LSTR units. A heartbroken Alina is transferred to the Sierpinski mining facility on Leng.

On Rotfront, a young painter with latent bioresonant abilities named Ariane Yeong wishes to get away from it all. After completing her compulsory military service, she applies to the Penrose Program and spends many years in space, alongside her assigned Replikant unit: LSTR-512. Elster. Spending many years together, the two fall in love.

However, the Penrose Program was a setup. The ship was never intended to complete its mission. The Nation had become aware of Ariane's latent abilities and had assigned her on a doomed mission, shooting her off into space to die on a ship that would eventually break down. On the 3000th cycle of their mission, the pair learned that they had been abandoned. Unwilling or unable to do it herself, Ariane made Elster promise to end their lives rather than suffering. However, Elster couldn't bring herself to do it. As time passed, radiation began to leak from the ship's engines, and Ariane and Elster both developed cancer. Elster died from the illness before she could bring herself to fulfill her promise.

Strangely, Ariane did not die. Possibly by some mutation from the radiation interacting with her bioresonant abilities, she was unable to die. She would survive at least another 2000 cycles after the Penrose was set to run out of supplies, all the while in constant suffering. The ship eventually crashed on Leng. Ariane's uncontrolled, mutated bioresonant abilities came into contact with the various Kolibries inside the Sierpinski facility, and her suffering was shared and amplified exponentially as it spread and repeated itself along the bioresonant hivemind. A psychic feedback loop spread like a disease. All gestalts died. All the replikants who weren't mutated or destabilized were left fighting for their lives, but none could stay unaffected forever.

Meanwhile, an accident had occurred in which all backups of the original mental template of Lilith Itou were lost. As a substitute, the Nation started creating new LSTR units using the latest backup of a decommissioned LSTR unit belonging to the Penrose Program: a copy of the mind of Elster, decommissioned after 3000 cycles. However, having never read the instructions, Ariane had taken zero precautions to avoid destabilization. All new LSTRs put into service after that time were affected. They were prone to hallucinations, had trouble distinguishing the present from the corrupted memories of their lives as Lilith Itou, and were consumed by one thought: fulfilling her promise.

As time passed, dozens of LSTR units came to the Sierpinski facility. Their destabilized minds were unable to distinguish Ariane from Alina, the two loves of their two lives. Every time one of them entered the facility, their destabilization further worsened the cascade of bioresonant mutation affecting the people within, and Falke in particular found herself affected by Elster's memories. Adler tries his best to stop this, by killing any Elsters who appeared, but it was just delaying the inevitable. Ariane's memories and Elster's hallucinations combine with Falke's supernatural abilities, causing the facility to become warped by images and places from Ariane's past, even turning an entire area into a replica of Rotfront and conjuring apparitions of Isa, a long-dead childhood friend of Ariane's. How much was Elster's hallucinations and how much was Falke's reality bending abilities is unclear.

Finally, one of the Elster units successfully makes it through the impossibly warped facility, kills Falke, and fulfills her promise. By ending Ariane's life, the feedback loop of suffering is stopped, and the cycle finally ends.