#i feel abused by fucking everyone. i am not a real person to any of you and never will be. nobody cared about my personhood

[edwardshundredyearoldspunk]

…

[synthetic-sonata]

really awesome day to think everythings going alright and then you wake up and get hit in the face twice in a row

[holidayslinger]

ao3 was created so fans would be legally safe from creators trying to sue them for writing fic and from platforms being able to suddenly start banning and deleting creations that we had worked hard on without any notice or warning when they decided to “crack down” on “adult” material. the reason you can post what you want with no limitations as long as it’s warned for is to keep everyone safe from unnecessary censorship because once you start banning things it’s a slippery slope of ‘but what about this’ until suddenly none of us are safe. i watched it happen in real time. i was there when ao3 was created after lj decided to do just that.

it is so fucking frustrating to see people using ao3’s policies like this. we need a place like ao3 that isn’t for profit, that allows people the creative freedom to explore whatever topics they want without the fear of censorship but where people who don’t want to see that content can avoid it. ao3 is a good thing and i never want to see it change.

i hate this for our fandom. i hate this for fandom in general. its a bad look, and i can’t believe people are just writing csa and graphic murder fic for funsies and laughs to MOCK people.

i am a firm believer in ao3’s policies. i think people should write what they want and read what they want and it doesn’t dictate who you are as a person because none of this is real.

but to write this shit and post it untagged (or in some cases mistagged so people open a fic that is tagged as fluff to see things that could trigger them) is severely fucked up. its not cute. its not funny. you are actively harming people and abusing a website that is meant to be a safe haven for everyone in fandom.

the fact that it’s not even just in the bucktommy tag and they’re tagging other pairings now makes me feel like this is just other people piggybacking off of the original one. or maybe they’ve decided to branch out. who knows. but this is clearly a fandom problem and it’s really frustrating and sad to see.

anyway. i typed all of this on my phone. its not even 5am. i don’t know what i even said. it’s probably all nonsense but im just frustrated.

[raribella]

Love is Embarrassing | JJ Maybank

summary: although JJ had promised your brother he wouldn’t ever hurt you, you saw him kissing Kie while you were on a break.

pairing: JJ Maybank x Routledge!reader

genre: emotionally heavy anst, fluff in the end

contains: reader being a real bitch, mentions of Luke and parental abuse, inspired by some songs in the album “GUTS” by Olivia Rodrigo, kinda shitty ending but let me know.

word count: 2,7k

author’s note: alright I know I’ve been MIA and a bitch and I haven’t posted anything in months (worse if you see how much stuff is on my “upcoming works” section), but I’ve just had a lot of ideas, little time and little confidence to write. one of my best friends just showed me obx and I’m in love with this blonde and I got (I think) a spoiler about him and Kie and I just had to do something with my feelings.

This is a work of fiction. I do not own the characters of Outer Banks nor any characteristic of the show. I am writing this story solely for my own entertainment and the marvel or comfort of any readers.

“If I fuck up with her that might as well be the last thing I do in my life, John B! I mean it!”

the words that JJ heatedly uttered to your twin brother the day he found out about the two of you were repeating over and over in your head right now. You remembered it all too well; John B was seething, absolutely pissed, seeing red. You and JJ Maybank knew each other for as long as he and your brother were best friends, when you turned 14, he declared to all the Pogues that you were off limits, and about two months ago, you and JJ started seeing each other. One month into it and JB discovered you, which was easy considering JJ already spent most of his time with both of you at the Chateau. JJ promised his best friend that he wouldn’t fuck up with you because two things mattered the most for him in this life; their friendship, and yourself.

But as of lately, he was having some problems with Luke and he asked for some time “out” so he could figure his shit out without involving or hurting you and you disagreed but you’d do pretty much anything in this world for this man so you decided to say yes.

To his bullshit.

Bullshit, you figured out about half an hour ago, when you heard a confusing conversation between him and Kiara – the perfect one – and when you went outside to track the noise, you saw them kissing.

You were fifteen minutes late to leave for the weekly kegger and you forced yourself to lock yourself in the bathroom and call in sick – because that you were, and you wouldn’t handle being out partying and pretending like seeing the kooks, and seeing them two wouldn’t make you feel the same type of nausea at this moment.

Sarah was the third person to try and make you get out of the bathroom. The first being your brother and the second, Pope. Although you were thankful neither JJ nor Kie had tried to talk to you, when you heard your best friend’s voice, you were actually starting to feel sick, you were having a migraine from holding tears up, and you were sweating.

“Y/n, come on! You were so excited to come not even an hour ago, we’re already late and I don’t see why wouldn’t you want to come”

Your vision was blurry as you palmed the door and laid your forehead on it. Sarah realized that you really weren’t coming when she heard your voice crack.

“Sarah please, just, go on out without me this one time, I need not to be there right now and I also need to be alone please don’t ask me questions I can’t handle to answer you this moment I promise-“

As you rambled, she frowned from the other side of the door. Making sure to get everyone to leave for the Kegger, to try and remember asking you about this later on, and to reassure John B that you were actually okay.

You’ve been successfully avoiding JJ for about two weeks now. It started with enough discretion, allegedly going to the bathroom every time he entered a room, or offering everyone any snacks you would spend too much time preparing in the kitchen. For him, it started getting obvious when you looked the other way when he looked at you at the beach, or when you refused to surf and, as of recently, started slamming the doors on him. JJ was getting pissed at this rate. He started by simply frowning and brushing it off, but you couldn’t just keep slamming doors and not even looking at him, and if everyone else noticed, they just wouldn’t budge! The worst part is that he didn’t know what had happened nor if he could fix it. You understood him when he told you he needed time to figure out some stuff with Luke, but the truth was he was still very much freaked out about that. He still loved you, and he couldn’t afford to see you like this anymore, especially when such behavior was being directed at him. JJ missed you. Even if he couldn’t really figure his shit out, he missed you screaming at the top of your lungs as you entered the sea, he missed your smile, your laidback grin that he was the only receiver of, he missed your colorful bikinis, and how they embraced your features as you would jump onto every wooden swing near the shore, your curly hair flying everywhere filled with salt spray. He just missed you, the real you. And he had to talk to you to see if there was even a chance that he could get you back.

You, on the other hand, kept avoiding the questioning looks the pogues would send you every time you were harsh or avoidant at JJ, your brother even attempted to talk to you, silently, just with glances, and figure out if his best friend had hurt you. But even if he did, it only hurt because you loved him too much, and you decided it was best to protect him from John B’s wrath. You felt embarrassed whenever Kiara questioned you with her eyes as well; you felt embarrassed to be near her. You kept crucifying yourself and both her and JJ because of everything, often zoning out of the conversation and just bitterly reminiscing about the times you consoled your boyfriend as he cried late at night in your room, being gentle with his bruises. – thinking how could you be so stupid? giving up everything, betting on him against your brother’s better judgment. You kept paying attention to Kie and how, since that day, she looked like the sweetest thing of the Cut, the fucking hell-side of the island. Her perfume lingered in the air even at the beach and made you feel sick; you saw her everywhere now, even when you looked at him. You saw the scene of them kissing. Feeling every word she would utter toward you in conversation like bullets on your skin. As it was torture how she was the greatest thing to ever exist – how everyone loved her, how she was so much better than you; poisoning everything that you do and still being the sweetest friend, making you despise how rotten your mind was; how jealous your eyes were.

You were bottled up to the brim.

It started out simple enough. JJ had noticed everyone was doing their own thing at the Chateau; John B was absent for the time being, and you were alone on the couch, fidgeting, focused on whatever. It seemed like the perfect window to try and have an actual conversation about what’s been happening. He just didn’t expect it all to escalate so quickly. He didn’t expect you to have seen a part of his conversation with Kiara about his dad – but not everything, not the ending. – He hadn’t expected a conversation with you of all people to become a bomb with a short fuse that would explode into feelings tainted crimson. watching you bleed, making him bleed all over for you.

"Pogues don't mack on pogues, y/n! this shit freaked me out, your brother finding out freaked me out, yeah, even if he’s my best friend and I was afraid that-”

“Oh, so you go ‘round and fucking get with Kiara?! this is fucking bullshit, JJ! bullshit-

“Y/n, listen to me!”

You both were screaming, Kie’s eyes went wide as she tried calling your name as well but you had already started crying and couldn’t pay attention to anyone but him. At this point, as John B arrived at the Chateau and followed the noise, the people around you calming you down couldn’t be sure if they were afraid of his arrival or actually relieved. You kept interrupting each other. JJ pulled his hair and you pointed at yourself and to your side – as if Kiara was still there – strength marking red fingertips above your chest.

“‘Cause she’s not even a real pogue, right?! that’s why you got so confident about it, huh?”

it was almost as if the room went silent. Kiara decided to step outside to give you space; to take a moment to breathe in and take notice that you didn’t mean that. She was sure you didn’t. The rest of the group started to move aside as well although they could obviously still hear the commotion. Only you, John B, and JJ were in the living room. Your brother grabbed your shoulders from behind trying to ground you in any way he could, JJ growing nervous at the rate of the conversation and his friend’s presence.

You looked into his eyes and it was as if the blue in them was slowly fading, his eyebrows shot up and his mouth twisted in a clearly upset frown. As tears stained your cheeks, pride still overpowering your shame and feelings pent up, you started with more meaningless empty jabs, which, said angrily enough, would only make JJ bleed more as he fell silent himself.

“I really loved you, you know? You gotta laugh at the stupidity.. right? Come on you were going around doing that shit and I swear JJ I used to think was really smart… I was just a mesmerizing, paralyzing, fucked-up little thrill for you, tho… best friend’s little twin… ridiculous.”

At that, John B diverted his attention toward his friend with stern questioning eyes. JJ gulped.

“Look, man I just really need to talk to her and explain myself, ‘aight? I didn’t do what- Things are really not what they seem right now and I need her to-“

“Fuck, JJ, that’s bullshit! How can you not even flinch when you fucking lie like that! Things are just like what they seem you never even fucking loved me! You can’t love anyone, ‘cause that would mean you had a heart, right? But you’re a fucking Maybank! And I really tried to help you out all this time but now I know that I can’t!”

You were calming down, but exploded again, as the words left your mouth though, you started regretting them, the most deeply someone could ever regret anything maybe, worsening by the second as you saw the man you still loved muttering a small “no”, cracking at your words and shedding a tear. As Kiara heard what you said from the outside, she didn’t even think before bursting into the house again, turning every head in her direction.

“Y/n you’re spiraling and you’re saying things you’ll fucking regret! I kissed him, alright?! This is my fault. He stopped me, he loves you and he wouldn’t do that, okay?”

Though the words she was muttering were calming you down, she was calling you out, she was absolutely mad at what you said about JJ’s father because she had context and it was really fucked up. You felt small.

“Kiss?!” John B asked, his eyebrows shooting up. It wasn’t his intention to aggravate the situation but it was his little sister involved. JJ tried to start talking and explain the situation – which Kiara had left him to, but he could really only think about one thing.

“I- uh… did you mean it? What you said.”

JJ rarely expressed any sign of vulnerability, so as his voice broke, you felt like your heart did too, rushing to explain yourself now, and trying to get closer to him.

“I didn’t mean it, J, I really didn’t! God, I don’t even know how you can still even look at me right now I’m so sorry I was just so fucking broken at the idea of you che- of losing you, and I- I thought you had found someone else and I damn near started world war III right now and it’s just because I love you so much and I know you don’t deserve another fucked up demonstration of love, you deserve to feel so good, Jay, and I’m really sorry, I love you so so much, and I will understand if you never-“

You were interrupted by the shock of his own body against yours. The both of you were panting, crying, completely tired sighs leaving each mouth as if this was all going on for days and you were so hurt, yet needing each other so much. John B and Kiara were ‘okay’ enough with the newfound situation to leave you both to your own devices again, and you just clung to one another, sitting on the floor for what felt like hours until he decided to speak again.

“Y/n… I asked for us to take some time because it was becoming too real, y’know? What we felt for each other.. it was, touchable- it is. And when everyone else found out, and then John B… You know I don’t talk about this usually, not with anyone but you, but I didn’t want my dad to find out about us, to find out about you. I don’t want him knowing what you are for me I don’t want him knowing that laying a single finger on you can be worse than any punch he could throw my way. And I wanted to figure this out without you knowing about it because you’d say it’s fine, and I-“

As your mind processes his words, you start to think how in the world you got a man whose the first concern about a monster of a father would be you. How could you deserve it, especially after what you had insinuated about him. “It is! It’s fine, honey, we can-“

“No, y/n it’s not fine because I don’t ever want you to even worry your pretty little head about a situation like that, y’know? And It’s not fine because the pogues are my family and the love I feel for you, if anything would happen to you because of him I’ll be damned, damned, and in jail for murder, you can trust me I will.”

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. All you could do was keep the hold you had on each other, slightly caressing his head.

“Since I didn’t want you to know about it, I went to Kie, that night of the Kegger, and she tried to help me and she said she loved me and I did too but then she kissed me and I assume it’s what you saw but I did step back, I promise! I told her off… Y/n I told your brother that if I intentionally hurt you, if I fucked up with you like this then that might as well be the last thing I did in my life and I mean it. I love you so much, little Routledge, and I’m all in now. We can figure shit out as we go but as long as we have each other, okay?”

As JJ spoke, he held your hands, reassuring you at the end. Hours had passed ever since you started talking, so when the pogues felt everything was calmer they decided to go back in the house slowly – figure out how you were, what were the plans for the night.

“Do you really forgive me for what I said? I will understand, J, I’m so, so sorry, I love you so much” You touched your forehead with his, and JJ sighed, shaking his head slightly. “I love you. I love you, y/n… can’t be without you.”

And as you both kissed each other as if you were making up for ages lost, Sarah smiled at the corner of the room, John B interrupting the show. “Come on with the PDA, love birds… What are we doing tonight, then?” He half-heartedly scolded as you got up, hand glued to the blonde's. You let out a big sigh again, before brushing them off with an honest, but half-assed excuse, already making the way to your room.

“I mean, you could go to Heyward’s… I think we’ll just lie down a bit.. ‘twas kinda draining…” you saw a bunch of side smiles as the group left through the door, Sarah grinned, letting out a puff of air through her nose, and when Pope went to close the door, he screamed back in the direction of your room, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” which earned a scream back from an already lying down JJ, “might as well not do anything!” and for the first time in a while, you laughed, making your way to lie on top of him, his embrace being all you needed.

“You know… we could go out to surf tomorrow,” he offered, still missing the sight of a happy you, your bikini, and the ocean.

“First thing in the morning.” You answered.

[the-great-knight-gay]

Percy had a crush on Luke in TLT, in this essay I will-

No this is not a joke.

I am aware the Percy Jackson's Greek Heroes has alluded to Percy being heterosexual but I find that not being able to describe attractive men is not enough to be straight.

However, looking at the subtext between Luke and Percy's relationship in TLT, it shows clear signs of Percy basically hero worshipping the guy, in the same way Nico did with Percy. Main thing here is, Nico canonically had a crush on Percy that ran so deep that Cupid, the fucking god of love, literally described Percy as the person Nico cared for the most.

Now this does not instantly mean that Percy must have had a crush on Luke the same way but here is my evidence.

Percy (at that point) was starved of common decency from anyone but his mother

Look at the character relations in TLT.

From Book 1, other than his mother, Percy relations all had incredibly negative undertones.

Annabeth outright admitted to only joining him on the quest to get out of camp. They may have made up but that immediately put me off their entire relationship initially. I was a seriously anti-percabeth dude until Titan's Curse and this was one of the reasons.

Grover may have genuinely been Percy's friend but from the start, Percy found out that the only reason Grover was there was because of a job and not because they were friends. That eventually changed but at the beginning, it had to have been rocky.

Next up we have Chiron. Now while it was somewhat okay, albeit with manipulative undertones and an overall bluntness from Chiron, this was a purely teacher-student relationship.

Now we'll look at Percy in general. Percy was incredibly starved of affection from anyone but his mother. Coupled with an abusive stepfather, any act of kindness is amplified for him.

This is literally confirmed when Luke steals him toiletries. He feels that's the nicest thing anyone had done for him at that point.

Not only that, Luke personally taught Percy when everyone else was ignoring him like he was the plague.

Luke was literally Percy's only real friend for the majority of TLT. He literally recounted his entire quest to him during the Iris Message scene, a privilege he didn't even give to his mother. Plus, he was confirmed to blush around Luke almost as much as Annabeth and we all know how Annabeth used to think of Luke: 'Lose a love worse than death'

I personally think that there was no real reason for him to react so badly to Luke's betrayal other than this.

Okay, when I researched this by constantly rereading every Lukercy and Luke interaction or mention in TLT, I also came across another revelation.

This was one of the reasons why Percy was so determined not to fail Nico during TTC and BotL. He may have not known about Nico's crush on him but he definitely didn't want to be to Nico was Luke was to him.

[annabelle--cane]

I guess the thing that makes me not so fond of Jon's addiction allegory is that it's only coherent to a certain extent? Like I think people sometimes forget that he's actively violating these people

anon, through no fault of your own you have accidentally hit upon my sleeper agent trigger phrase. I have layers of answers to this.

so first off, yeah, it's not a 1:1 direct metaphor, it's a soupy dream logic fantasy plot device with flavors of a lot of different things. there's quite a lot of addiction in there, there's some abuse of power, there's some cyclical nature of trauma, there's a dash of disability, there's a few notes of gendered violence, there's a good bit of just. violence violence and being kind of a motherfucker because goddammit it feels good to be an active agent about something in your life, even if it's just choosing to be a worse version of yourself than you strictly need to be. a lot of tma's worldbuilding is very allegorical, but apart from aspects of individual statements nothing really matches up quite 1:1 with a real world counterpart, and if more things did then it probably wouldn't be a fantasy show anymore.

secondly. okay to contextualize this answer a little bit I have a kind of hypothetical video essay project about vampirism and addiction that I like to spend a few hours thinking about every so often but am almost certainly never going to make because the full research burden required is a lot higher than I actually have the time to properly do. but because of that I've spent a lot of time sorting through why framing vampires as addicts really works for me in a way that it doesn't seem to for everyone, and I think a lot of my thoughts on that also apply to jon. there's going to be a bit of a detour here before we get back to talking about tma, but we'll get there, I prommy.

I've seen a lot of people take issue with various paranormal addiction allegories because, a lot of the time, the act that is meant to metaphorically represent the act of use itself is something that is directly and inherently harmful to others, e.g. drinking human blood, handing over power to your hedonistic Evil alter ego, holding the cursed amulet and going crazy going stupid, slurping trauma out of the head of some guy you ran into on a boat to norway, etc., and yeah, I do get that. substance use is not inherently harmful like that to anyone except sometimes the user themself, and addicts are not inherently fucked up and destructive people; those are dangerous stereotypes that often lead to the demonizing of a whole group of sick people.

here's the thing for me, though: those are definitely truths I want explored and represented when it comes to portrayals of non-allegorical actual addicts, but fantasy fiction isn't for showing the world as it is, it's for showing a subjective fun house mirror version of reality where certain aspects are minimized and magnified depending on how it feels to live through it. and yes, absolutely in real life drug use is not an inherently evil act and it does not make you an inherently evil person, but... doesn't it kind of feel like that? sort of? absolutely no one is living their best life nor on their best behavior while experiencing any kind of major mental illness episode, and when it comes to addiction you've got a very clear tangible symbol of when The Episode is happening that it feels like you have much more control over than when it comes to other illnesses. it's also a thing where people are a lot more likely to be openly angry and distrustful of you if they find out it's happening. so you mix together the ideas of "I know I get worse as a result of doing this one specific thing" + "I act less like myself when I'm using, it rearranges my priorities and I care less about hurting people because that's what happens when you're experiencing The Horrors" + "society at large/people directly around me are pretty quick to say that doing this is evil," and you get the subjective emotional result of "I hurt people by using and it makes me monstrous." I tend to respond to those kinds of paranormal allegories like they're just cutting out the middle man of those subjective fears. "using makes me monstrous" -> "using is monstrous."

anyway. jon archivist.

don't get me wrong, I totally understand if this aspect of metaphor doesn't gel for some people and they only like taking it exactly as far as the text explicitly makes them, but I really get a lot out of reading jon's connection to the fears as addiction precisely because he does genuinely awful things to people as a result of it. he's a person in a very bad physical and mental place with little to no support who is constantly being told by both allies and enemies that he's already a monster just by being alive, and he copes with that by secretly falling further and further into an compulsive act of consumption that skews his priorities and makes him care less about hurting people because at least sometimes getting to be the cause of pain makes him feel a little bit less powerless when he has to be the subject of pain the rest of the time. then he's found out and is made to stop, and he has to grapple not just with the physical toll of withdrawal but with knowing there is a not insignificant part of him that will excuse any act of malice if he knows he'll feel better afterwards.

the end of tma is very explicit in the fact that the rules of its world are shaped by the subjective worst fears of those who live in it, it's "an exercise in unreliably reality" as jonny sims put it once, and I think that principle extends backwards in some ways to apply to the rest of the show. I don't think the fact that there are only entities of fear and not hope or love is meant to be a full commentary on the total nature of the real world, it's a reflection of what fear and suffering can make the world feel like. eric and melanie both go to really harsh extremes to extricate themselves from the fears and live peaceful lives, and in both cases something happens that foils their plans (getting murdered + the apocalypse, respectively), but I don't think the intended message is to say that is definitively how real life works, they are metaphors for the limits of individual agency in larger systems and represent two types of worst-case-scenarios. similarly, I don't think reading jon as an addict implies that addiction inherently involves violence or that the reactions of those around him were completely unjustified, it's just a subjective exploration of the kinds of fears that can come with addiction dialed up to 100.

[fawnprincessblog]

Hi everyone, guess who's back.

After 2 months of absence i've decided to bring myself back on here and explain some things that have happened.

💗

After publishing a post a while back regarding incest, i had recieved a lot of hate since then. When i posted it I had no idea how much hate I was bound to receive from all of you once you guys saw it, and honestly i didn't think it would get that much attention. After realising it was clearly causing so much hate I posted an apology, which all you also thought was total shit, so I deleted that too.

And right after, I was bombarded with an ungodly amount of death threats through my inbox, people asking me to kill myself and end it. It was a whole lot, and I really didn't think that one measly post would set you guys off so fast. And honestly I was surprised to see how much there was. My inbox was full of them, and I couldn't handle it all.

Soon enough as expected one person had gone anonymous, sending inbox messages to my followers to report the 'heinous crime' I've committed by posting one silly thing, which by the way, put out a lot of false information. The person was over exaggerating, putting shitty words in my mouth. And I'm here now to talk about all the accusations the person has made. To the people who recieved the inbox message, here's your real explanation from the blogger who made the damn posts.

1. I 'nonchalantly' wrote twincest about Tom and Bill.

First of all, I have never in my life intended to ship the damn twins. If you have checked tumblr well enough, you should be aware there's tons of threesome sex fics about Tom and Bill, where they both fucked the reader at once. And if you fucking bothered to read my fic properly and not jump to conclusions to try so damn hard and cancel me, you'd know damn well Tom and Bill never even touched eachother in the fic that I wrote. They didn't have sex with eachother, they didn't DIRTY TALK eachother, and they did NOT do anything that would have come across as incest.

They both simply fucked the reader and talked to the reader, having nothing to do with each other in the fic. Get your damn facts right b4 you try to sound like a fucking smartass.

2. I want to be 'chained up and used.'

Kinks and fantasies everyone, c'mon. People have FUCKING KINKS. And mind you, this is tumblr. If you srsly see shit like this and start acting out because it makes you sad then clearly it's not for you so like just scroll? You have a damn finger, don't you? Unless, y'know, you cut the damn thing off.

Anyway, I think it's pathetic you're acting all petty over it cause you wanna cancel someone so bad and be the fucking hero of the day. Nobody cares, cunt.

3. I wanted to 'abuse' Bill.

To clarify this one, I do agree that the term 'abuse' was too strong. I don't intend to fucking abuse the poor guy, I just had no idea how to fucking word my sentence and how I was trying to get the damn message out. I've already edited my post on this one. So, chill out.

4. I'm 'anti-lgbt'?

This shitty one has been going around a LOT ever since I posted something regarding how annoying Bill was in the Kaulitz & Kaulitz series, where he talked alot about his sexuality.

First of all I'm not fucking homophobic. To let you guys know I am a Catholic Christian, (ik, not a very holy one) and supporting the lgbt community is definitely not on the list. And even if so, I do not disrespect anyone who's part of it. We aren't told to treat you guys any less. And for me, although I never encouraged the idea, I don't look lower on the person. Even I myself catch myself in a 'lesbian-feeling' situation sometimes.

And if you've seen the comments on the post I made about that Bill thing, all the comments agree with my anyway. We all collectively agree he went a little overboard but so what? I'm just saying. Suck on that, stupid hoe!

5. I support pedophilia.

Babe, check the post again and see how many people were totally okay with the damn post in the first place. I have never agreed ever that pedophilia was okay, and there's tons of older Tom fics with this age gap. Please, istg, do your research before crying over spilled milk to save yourself the embarrassment.

And, to let y'know, who ever sent these inbox messages, one of the friends that you sent these to—I think her name was 'pain of l0ve' or smtg—was totally one of the biggest supporters on that post asking for a full blown fic of older tom and the 17 year old girl. She uses to be my follower too. Dw, I have a screenshot before she blocked me and tried to act all shocked and surprised that I post those malicious things you said! ^^

mm...that really pissed me off ngl 🤷‍♀️

Anyway, that concludes it. Hope this answers your questions about all this misinformation that this person has spread in attempt to cancel me.

I also just want to put it out there that I'm really sorry for posting something like that, and now looking at it I do agree that it was weird. I apologise for anyone who got uncomfortable. All the death threats I've received weren't necessary though. I don't ever think it's right to go that far on anyone. Please be mindful sometimes. Other than that, I'm really sorry.

And I also wanna thank @itsangelll for being there for me when I couldn't answer all the haters myself. Girl you really helped me out, standing up for me and explaining the situation. Ilysm always 💗💗

But for the cunt that sent out all the inbox messages, I hope you had fun doing so anyways :3 I really do appreciate all the stalking and effort you put in just for me so you could cancel me and be heard! 🥺 Seriously the hero of the day! You really read through all my stuff so you could dig out the littlest things! Talk about dedication!! Quite obsessed I must say.

Kisses, love ya! 💋💋💗

[olderthannetfic]

Recently noticed a ton of "booktok" people claiming that written smut is "just as bad as porn" and "affects the brain the exact same way as porn." I'm not even antiporn but any rational person can see why that's a ridiculous claim. The industries are vastly different (no one but the author is involved in written smut, so there's less room for abuse) and the stimuli are vastly different. Like porn addiction as a concept is dubious at best but videos and written text affect the brain in different ways. That feels very obvious to me. I can at least see the basis for porn addiction (but there's no good evidence for its existence). No babes, you cannot become addicted to books. Seriously, people are claiming that you're a porn addict if you read a lot of smut. & I've had several people tell me "you must be a porn addict because only an addict would defend porn [meaning smut in this context] so vehemently," which feels VERY fallacious to me but I don't know which fallacy in particular. I just...am I going insane? Shouldn't "porn addiction also includes written smut" be fucking plainly ridiculous, even to people who vehemently believe in porn addiction and people who vehemently don't?

--

I wonder how different the effect really is on, say, a person who imagines extremely vividly. I have a friend who can make herself nauseated just by thinking of food because as soon as she thinks of it, she tastes it as if she were eating it.

I don't find writing and video that different. When reading, I do often experience a playback in my head. I don't always imagine facial features clearly, but details of objects, layouts of settings, clothing, etc. will be photorealistic. The crummy production values of your average commercial porno aren't my thing, but that's not a fundamental property of the medium.

If we mean "addiction" like "thing people become obsessive about as an escape", books certainly count.

If we mean "wharrgarbl, how dare people have a sexuality?!" then any medium can count.

The fundamental flaws of the concept of porn addiction make it hard for me to agree with you.

--

But as for "Only a X would defend...", those are just cowardly weaklings who've never stood up for a real principle in their lives. Everyone with decent standards will sometimes have to stand up for things they personally dislike or don't care about.

[freyjas-musings]

So , now that the event has officially come to an end I think I would like to say my 2 cents on the troll account that popped in the middle of an event . Irrespective of which fandom or side this person belongs to one thing that is accurate is that it's an abomination that shouldn't have been born at all. I am a 100% sure its someone everyone hates in their real life too.

TW : INSENSITIVE SA DISCOURSE POINTED OUT

Now, is it fair to blame the entire group of Elriels for that troll? No , but what is shitty is Elriels pretending an Elriel has "never" done anything like that.... That's inaccurate...

Below is an example from a verified Elriel account saying exactly the same sort of shit .... since some of you want to pretend it's not an elriel thing

There you go a verified Elriel who has been around for a while ... and consistent discourse in SA insensitivity. .. So its reasonable for people to assume the troll account is an Elriel... stop pretending to be Victims. I have a few more examples from other accounts that are verified Elriel too

One of Elriels lead Commissioners on Gwyn ... So this BS that Elriels have never made hate posts or insensitive posts about Gwyn is farthest from the truth. No one is buying it .

2. This troll account popped up in the middle of an event, an event that was going exceptionally well and was getting the recognition and reach it deserved , why would one of our own cause Drama to disrupt that ?

3. The trolls brain , the quality of that brain is unbelievable.... its unfortunately questionable ... How ?

Elriels: They are trying to pretend to be Elriel so they can make us look bad....

Troll : while completely engaging in anti gwyn and Gwynriel discourse ... Littering all over an event page by leaving disgusting comments on the content.... tagging all their posts Elriel

I mean the quality of that brain, if this was someone who created that account to make Elriels look bad why on earth would they say they "aren't" Elriel 😅😅😅😅😅

This is the sort of brain that comes up with bread and roses so please don't blame us for assuming this asshole is an Elriel.

Now , do I care which side that asshole belongs to ? Not really , anyone who has been here a while knows shitty people in this fandom are rampant irrespective of the side .

Sexual Abuse is not limited to females so when someone writes terrible things about SA survivors it's not gender based hate speech , Male assault is just as real and relevant too.. its an insult to SA Survivors as a whole ... I don't give a fuck about people's personal opinions about fictional characters but when you specifically write posts that are insensitive towards what is a very real issue in today's world you should stand up against it irrespective of the group .

I am specifically not tagging Elriel in this post because I have no interest in interacting with any of them . This is for my side , my people for Gwyn stans ... for Gwynriel stans .... so I am specifically asking Elriels to stay away from my blog and posts.

I am going to be inactive on this account for a few weeks , I am truly burnt out with the fandom and some of the things I have read about survivors in the recent few days has unfortunately triggered me a lot. Based on my discussion with my friends and my husband I do feel the best course of action for me would be to take a brief break ... I will be back for Elucien Week 🤗

[genderqueerdykes]

i think that certain parts of the community are starting to become more and more exclusionist. like im starting to see a lot more pro-lesboy spaces say "lesboy doesnt mean trans man/cis man! full men cant be lesboys!" or pro-mspec monospec spaces say "mspec monospec doesnt mean being both things for the same attraction! it means being mspec for sex/romance and monospec for the other!! no one is a romantic mspec AND monospec at the same time!" or just. Things like that.

i did not see this ask until now and am i glad you sent it

short answer: yes, agreed, it's petty queer infighting that doesn't need to be happening

so from what i've noticed is most of online queer discourse really at the end of the day is about what an individual person thinks that queer label isn't, and not what it is. people are very nihilistic right now, and really love to take everything in bad faith. we're seeing a rash of reactionary content in general where people take their knee jerk reaction as their stance on an entire complex concept that requires time to digest and process. like literally the most farfetched dogshit take you've ever seen because they just found out about a concept and bullshitted and answer.

certain people wanna think they're experts on queerness overnight because they just realized they're [xyz] or whatever other reason they want to be the expert on queerness. really what it is is people who want to tell other people what it is, but not listen. like it really just is people who want to say "this is how queerness works. shut up because i'm the only one who knows why. don't ask me for a reason". like it's about control. it's about people who have never done any research into queer history in any country on any continent, has not interacted with their local queer community who still want to have a captive audience about what queerness "really is". so instead of learning history and talking to other people they tell you how they feel and spin it as the truth.

other people just send the most bizarre angry posts, asks, DMs, whatever, about how they hate this 1 really specific kind of person that they've never actually met, but hypothetically they would hate. it's mind games. people get caught up in their own thoughts long enough to believe the hypothetical guy they made up isn't real. it's the strawman argument. i don't know what compels humans to do this but for whatever reason, people really love making up a fictional guy to get offended at. it's really bizarre. if cishet men wanted to identify as lesbians, they would literally already be doing it

if you know what logical fallacies are to some extend and have been around internet discussions in general for a long time, you start to recognize the patterns. it's a type of entitled attitude that leads a person to not be in a community for very long. it's a certain kind of person who gets a rise out of being a jackass. like i've tried to word that better. no. that's what it is. like people are aware of the fact that they're being a jackass and continue to do it anyway. people are getting a kick out of this. like. people are chasing the rush you get from fucking with someone. that's all it is. when people say "how can they be so cruel?" they're chasing a mental high that fades extremely quickly, so they have to keep doing it over, and over, and over.

it's like how do i put it. now that social media is so widespread, just about everyone has one on at least a few platforms at this point. people are being exposed to these conversations. and you're gonna have some complete noobs who come in thinking they can define lesbianism because they realized they were a lesbian yesterday and it's like. people will keep fighting the same tired old argument about how trans men can't be lesbians for the 9439030985th time and meanwhile they're ignoring the 50 trans male dykes interacting with one of their mutuals like i think it's literally dumb as hell that there are people on this website mentally abusing strangers on the internet because they refuse to crack open a book, read a zine or open a pdf and read the biographies of real world trans male lesbians, or even just read an article about one. like it's easier and more fun for them to pretend it's not happening it's wild as hell to me

anyway, yes. it's really stupid. people are getting caught up in all the wrong parts of what separates identities. it's the compulsion to draw lines in the sand that is forced upon us in our binary obsessed society. it is likely tied to black and white thinking, and catastrophizing, which both can happen when someone is stressed and looking at a situation in a maladaptive way, either due to perspective or neurotype. sometimes this legitimately can be due to someone's mental health, so it's not an excuse, but it's an explanation for why people get so riled up. those headspaces get you very heated and it's difficult to come down from. it requires a lot of time learning emotional coping skills to walk backwards from those types of episodes

[yunhogosailing]

women’s rights, stan culture, and “idolization”: what the fuck are we doing here?

tw: sexual abuse

i am absolutely dismayed to hear of the ongoing situation involving taeil, despite knowing very little about him as a person and having surface level knowledge of nct 127 as a group. i am even more dismayed at the discourse surrounding the way nctzens, especially taeil stans, have been reacting to the news since the announcement this morning.

i dont want to rant and ramble bc that helps nobody. i’ve read my fair share of thinkpieces on various platforms—some well thought out, some covering the bare minimum at best, and even more demonstrating a complete lack of understanding as to how we need to approach these subjects both as fans and as consumers. i feel as if everything that needed to be said has been said, but i do want to touch on a point of my own, and tell you all how you can help support the ongoing korean feminist movement.

it is not healthy to go about your entire life assuming that you will see the worst of someone eventually.

this is true for anyone you meet: an idol, a family member, a friend, and a complete stranger. i’m exhausted by all of the Hot Takes admonishing those who feel a sense of loss, sorrow, and disgust upon finding out that someone who they were led to trust could potentially be capable of doing something as heinous as what is being alleged against taeil.

“you don’t know these people” you’re correct! i most certainly do not.

“don’t put these people up on a pedestal” nobody is doing this by virtue of simply being a fan.

“as a boy group stan you should always keep in mind that men are shit.” are you starting to see my issue, yet?

you are not naive or stupid for believing the best in someone, even if this is a person you have never met and will never know on a more personal level than as a fan of an idol. i am exhausted with the seemingly popular belief that its somehow healthy or normal to navigate through life operating under the assumption that everyone around you has the capacity for violence and harm. it is not healthy. as a survivor of sexual abuse and harassment, one of the first things i had to regain over my life was a sense of control and sanity. this meant ridding myself of the fear that i could be re-victimized at any moment. statistically speaking, it was always a possibility. but realistically speaking, i was doing far greater harm to myself throughout my recovery when i was afraid of the men around me.

if you are an nctzen, if you are taeil biased, do not feel bad about being blindsided by this. do not start assuming that the other members must have been aware, or must be involved, or must have committed some crime of their own; that is simply not how the real world works. if you are a fan of boy groups, keep your standards high but do not view this as a reason to be hyper vigilant of the people you stan. do not assume the worst until they present you with the worst. expecting people to be decent is not idolizing someone. its when you refuse to hold them accountable to the actions that they have done that you cross the line between being a fan and being an enabler.

why is this important to keep in mind?

we as kpop stans are in a particularly unique position. we are consumers of a byproduct from a culture that is undergoing a severe women’s rights crisis.

just recently, a series of telegram groups were discovered in which hundreds of thousands of users created and shared artificial explicit materials (deepfakes) involving women and young girls spanning from kindergartners to university students to adults; family members, classmates, coworkers, etc. the figures of the perpetrators involved could potentially be as high as 300,000 individuals, and a overwhelming majority of those in these chats are believed to be men.

this incident is coming right off the tails of another, more infamous group of telegram rooms nicknamed “the Nth rooms”—where a number of men helped to orchestrate one of the largest cases of digital sex crimes in south korean history, victimizing over a hundred women and young girls for the purpose of disseminating violent sexually explicit materials.

even before the original Nth Room case, korean women had more than enough reasons to fear for their safety; molka (hidden camera) crimes were on the rise, with over 30,000 cases being reported between 2013 and 2018. korean women were being assaulted and killed in their homes and on the street for no reason (significantly high femicide rates are still an issue in south korea today). women were being prosecuted over the mere belief that they may be involved in the country’s feminist movement—experiencing professional repercussions over accusations such as reading a book, having short hair, or making a gesture. in the wake of this anti-feminist backlash, it became increasingly common for men to voice their discomfort for what they believe to be “radical” measures taken by korean women to ensure their safety and improve their futures. see, for example, rapper San-E who wrote a diss track towards feminists and is still able to walk these streets relatively unharmed due to his position of privilege.

the notion that you should always assume that every man you meet is a potential sex criminal or a misogynist is harmful simply because that is the exact reason why korean feminists have been working so hard to change the legislation surrounding sexual crimes for the last two decades. the ultimate goal of gender equality is having that reassurance that no matter what gender motivated crime is committed against you, you will be entitled to justice through the courts and free of the stigma of being a victim in society. korean women want to be able to interact with their brothers and fathers without worrying about ending up in a deepfake video. korean women want to be able to venture outside their homes at night without fear of being followed and abducted. korean women want to be able to use the restroom at work without having to check the stalls for microscopic recording devices. the idea that you should be weary of those around you and those who have gained your trust is detrimental to your mental health, and with this knowledge, korean women have been actively working tirelessly to ensure a future where they will not have to worry about this.

it could be your faves, but theres no guarantee that it will ever be or that it will never be. rather, work today to uphold the standard that women should be protected and hold those who have violated their rights as human beings to the full power of the law. keep the names of those who have suffered or died from violent crimes against women alive and their stories in the media. south korean feminists are asking for our help in spreading the news about the recent deepfake Nth rooms, because they are facing silence and noncompliance from domestic media outlets to do their due diligence in investigating this matter.

they are suggesting that you take korean news articles surrounding the deepfakes, or korean feminist posts discussing the telegram groups and any events that are being planned to protest for women’s rights, and run them through a translator if needed in order to share them with english speaking news media. the idea is that as long as international eyes are on the atrocities being committed against women in the country, the korean news cannot suppress their voices.

here are the twitter accounts that i know of who are taking the risk to share their stories and that of other south korean women:

link to profile

link to profile

link to profile

link to profile

link to profile

[daybreakerangel]

I am going to discuss about the Hazbin leaks because I can, and I want to think about something that NOTHING to do with the election. This is just me rambling.

Lucifer being a dick to Alastor out of nowhere make me dislike him to bit. Al is just minding his business and Lucifer insecure ass calls him Bambi and shit. I do not even like Al that much and I understand why he said fuck it and quit. I would too.

That song with Rosie and Al has racist lyrics in it with Rosie telling Al to act like a dog and that he is a part of her zoo. I know all the overlords are slave owners but having lines like that referring to a mixed Black character is a CHOICE.

I am TRIED of the bad dads/daddy issues in the Helluva. Every single father minus Millie’s dad are horrible or neglectful people. Lute saying Adam never liked Abel makes me mad. Are you telling me the FATHER of humanity did not give a fuck about his own son? Bullshit. I am fine with Adam being a shitty person to everyone around him but his saving graced should have been his family. He is the first father, I guess his is the root of all daddy issues too. 🙄

Anyway, I am glad Abel is plus size like his father. Adam is the carrier of the fat gene. Lmao. I wonder if people will debate if Abel is or is not fat too! /s

People are thinking that Abel is probably gay given his Santa Claus line in Emily’s Heaven song and Adam’s dislikes of his own son is because he is a homophobe. The idea of this being canon is probably likely. Given his line about finding Charlie and Vaggie’s relationship “hot”, I guess he is the type of homophobe that fetishizes WLW relationships but hates MLM ones.

This is just me thing, but I dislike when homophobia is in Queer media. I just want more queer joy stories than queer people facing bigotry stories. I just Adam maybe was more of a politically Incorrect villain than a politically correct villain.

Adam being a misogynist in Heaven was already weird, but it tracks since Lute was not allowed to be the new leader, misogyny is a part of Heaven’s core values, I guess. Him being a homophobe would be awful; homophobia exists in Hell (for example: Kate Killjoy) but in Heaven too? Queer people cannot escape homophobia even in paradise?

I liked to think Adam came up with exterminations to just let out the anger he felted because of Lucifer basically fucking up his line and to protect the family he still had from Hell’s uprising. Abel not expressing any real emotion when learning that his father was murdered and just saying “RIP” is just sad. If Abel knows his father dislike him, why he is taking up his father's role as the leader?

Adam being a shitty person is fine, but he never cared about his own son. Was he always piece of shit since Eden? BOO!! Bad character writing! Adam becoming morality fucked up makes more sense than "He was trash since the start of his creation!" Are you telling me that Heaven knows Adam is shitty and never corrected that behavior to the point he became a manchild? No wonder no one gave a damn by his death, he was rotten from the start.

Eve is still IMA and same goes for Cain and the rest of his children. I swear when Eve finally makes her appearance and she says that Adam was an abuser, I will start to dislike him.

I am glad that Adam is dead. I really hope that he never comes back, I just feel like his character will go downhill even more. I like the idea of him becoming a sinner as a punishment for all the bullshit he done and that he would never allow to enter Heaven. I wanted Adam to SUFFER. I hope sinner Adam stays in fanon.

Lute's song has a cool instrument, but I wish she had more character out of Adam. I do not really care about her being heartbroken by his death because we did not see their friendship that much, so it does not have that much emotional weight to it.

Adam's rizz levels were off the charts to have Lute loses her mind over HIM out of all people. I like Adam but nah he is not boyfriend material at all. It is nice to a character having a crush on a plus size character, Lute wanted that fat man BADLY. It would have been nice if imagine Adam was maskless. It gives me that vibes that Lute only like him when he had the mask on instead of his actual face.

My relationship with this show is complicated. There is stuff in it I like and stuff I just dislike. The writing of the show being all over the place is fascinating but also awful. If the fandom was not so creative and writes these characters with so much care, I would not be here. I am more a fan of the fanon content than the actual show sometimes.

I feel like when Hazbin ends, it is going to remember in such a negative light and a prime example on how to not write a story or characters.

I feel like I will not be a fan before season 3 airs, I hope that does not happen but yeah. If you see a whole bunch of Hazbin shit being listed on the secondhand market after Season 2 is over, that will probably be me.

[velvetvexations]

re anon who talked about claims that white people can't be nonbinary, I have seen it. this was The Discourse in a corner of the internet i was in in like 2021. this person kept literally saying white people can't be nonbinary and quite a lot of people were agreeing with her.

isn't it sad this is the world we live in

It's funny (sarcasm) how many TransRadFems go on and on about how awful they were treated when they were still perceived as "feminine/gay cis men" and how being misgendered as a man as a trans femme is terrible (which is true, of course), but then turn around and say that (trans/cis) men/people who are perceived as men/etc don't ever experience anything bad at all ever. Like.... If that was true, you wouldn't have experienced any abuse while in the closet and would be happy to be misgendered, because it would give you more "privilege" to be seen as such. And yet, somehow, you realize that both of those things aren't actually true and that (real or perceived) manhood does actually come with a lot of oppression. But only when it comes to trans femmes, for some reason, and never trans mascs. It's almost as if you do know that trans mascs experience gendered oppression for being both trans and men, but deny it simply because you're a bigot and want to get away with being a transphobe. Hmmmmmm. 🤔

sometimes they'll admit to trans men being perceived as women but with the caveat "being treated as women is our best case scenario!" as though trans men aren't, just as trans women are, seen as deviants that need killing or correction rather than "just" your average every day cis woman

"Ohhh trans men think of themselves as women/AFAB which is badddd" actually I think of myself as a male cursed by a powerful wizard :)

wizards and magical hot springs are the number one leading cause of trans people

Male cursed by wizard here again tho. I do actually kind of feel a disconnect from the wider transmasc community, as I never feel like I was a woman or experienced what it was like to be one? But that's because I am extremely autistic and weird and have thought gendered expectations were ridiculous for as long as I can remember, and as such have been largely dehumanized by my peers in a way that most girls and "girls" haven't, if that makes any sense? But that doesn't mean other transmascs are wrong for feeling connected to womanhood on some level, it's just not something I can relate to at all. (I don't relate to manhood either for that matter, but that seems to be a more common experience)

gender is a wildly complicated thing and takes a lot to really examine, it's usually different for everyone in small ways

"trans men don't experience misogyny if they pass, but trans women always experience transmisogyny regardless of whether we pass or not" is a WILD fucking take. imagine 'we can always tell'ing your feminist theory as a trans woman. could fucking not be me.

soulgender sixth sense is especially sensitive to trans women whose gender is super special and radiates an aura of purity

Crazy take, feel free to tell me im wrong but i dont think anyone is inherently binary or nonbinary unless specified. I think that every single person on this earth has a slightly different gender (humans are akin to snowflakes and i do not mean this is a derogatory sense). You could put a group of perisex cis women into a room together and all of them would have varying degrees and opinions on what their cis-woman-ness means to them and the same goes for every other label and identity group. And just because someone defies whatever cultural and social norms of identity that have been put on them doesnt automatically make them nonbinary.

it's all just words

What do you think of the "drag is misogynistic" discourse? To me the argument I see is "they're cosplaying being a trans women and thats bad" Which.. sounds exactly like a terf argument but with the word trans slapped in it.

it's a TERF argument and I'm not even into drag

Every time I remember the blahaj discourse I want to simultaneously laugh & light a votive for the trans community's mental health. I am being told by folks who are younger than my personal obsession with sharks (22+ years running let's go!!!) that I cannot possibly fathom the appeal of a stuffie in the shape of a shark, and if I get one anyway, it's appropriation. And yeah, that discourse died pretty soon out of the cradle, but holy shit! It existed! I really hope, for the sake of all involved, that they feel sheepish in the future; better the embarrassment than doubling down on such a — frankly! — ridiculous mindset.

your AFAB man brain simply can't comprehend the true transfymynyn nature of sharks

Idk if this makes me racist but like. It is actually pretty uncomfortable seeing people use non European cultures having 3rd (or 4th or 5th or 6th etc) genders as proof transphobia is a western thing or whatever. Like. Idk I'm biased but as a (relatively) binary trans individual, I don't want to be relegated to a 3rd gender..? Id like to live as any other man, not some 3rd or 4th category of woman-that-acts-like-a-man. I'm happy for the people that see themselves in 3rd genders, but for me it just feels like a painful reminder of how otherized trans people have been historically.... (also I think it's kinda gross to prop up non European cultures as inherently so much better and great and a homogenized soup of betterness instead of. Yknow. Nuanced cultures with their own unique problems and bigotries and positive qualities. Like indigenous cultures don't have to be perfect for colonialism to be bad actually. But that's a separate thing)

yeah it's such an over simplification

just saw someone compare trans women to the omelas child I hate it here.

hard to overstate how much of a pathetic worm one would have to be to say that about themselves with zero irony

help a post appeared on my dash saying "trans men benefit from male privilege" and one person who reblogged it had "transphobes DNI/transandrophobia truthers DNI" on their header

yeah that's the people you wanna put out there first as a DNI trans men who think they're oppressed

Sorry if your inbox is a bad place to vent about this, but I'm so sick and tired of the way Go To Therapy is slung around these days, both as a stealth insult to imply someone is 'crazy' and needs to be 'fixed', but also as the genuine go to (often only) advice that treats it as some sort of fix-all solution. I was deeply traumatized by therapy as someone who's been in and out of it since pre-k and only finally decided to stop going for good in their 30's and being bombarded with the advice to Go To Therapy in every online space I'm part of is exhausting and triggering to the point that I have the word Therapy blacklisted on tumblr. And I can't like, talk about it without being told I just had the wrong therapist and need to keep trying until the right person magically comes along to fix me, as if I haven't spent my whole life trying to force myself into the mold of recovery. Someone not being able or willing to keep trying to heal in the Approved way is often treated as a red flag and a moral failing, and even my own closest friends have this idea in their heads that therapy is absolutely good for everyone and the only valid reason to not be in therapy is not being able to afford it. I'm just tired and I don't want to heal anymore because I don't think I'll ever be healed enough to satisfy anyone, I don't want to get up over and over and over, I want to stay down and rest.

love you anon <3

[yasmiralotta]

I feel so bad

I was in a thread. Defending Stolas, beacuse I don't see him as a abusive character in the way the antis do, I guess. And then one person comes in. And I am stating to feel like a bad person. Was I in the wrong here. I am shit at explaining things, and I really didn't try to offend anyone. I was just saying what my opinions are. I am crying right niw and I feel like never having an opinion again!

Them: There's a certain point you shouldn't respect someone's opinion. You sound like republicans saying "Agree to disagree" and what we disagree on is the right for people to live. Ignoring what is overtly abusive behavior isn't going to make it less abusive. All it does is normalize it for people who are less experienced.

Me: That's not what I was trying to get a across. And I respect your guys opinion on hating Stolas, so can you guys respect that I don't see him that way. Like, it's a cartoon we are talking about here. It can be interpeted in different ways because it's not real. Again. I do think that what Stolas did was not okay. But I think he is starting to change for the better. I belive that everyone desreves a second chance. And if it makes you feel better.IF I had to choose a side I would choose Blitzø. But it's not all black and white. And I am not going to choose sides on this. They are both broken and needs LOTS of help.

Me: I think people also forget that Blitzø is not afraid of Stolas. He mouthed of to Mammon. Blitzø is not scared of the higher ups. He could/would not let himself be intiminated like that. He's gone through to much shit for that.

Them: That isn't true because you are here commenting about how much you think you shouldn't have to respect our opinion. "He never did anything to ME so even though he abused you, I think I should not have to take sides and I'll still be his friend". Which is also the attitude you have.

Them: Coming here arguing with people and telling them they are wrong because you don't like the facts isn't respectful. And recognizing a lot of people who hate Stolas' do so because we are victims of narcissistic abuse and so recognize it readily while you defend that sort of person is inherently triggering, even when we have the space to not be personally invested or upset, we will never respect abuse defenders.

Them: And arguing that Blitz isn't afraid is to just entirely miss ... Everything. If you don't think people express fear as anger or lashing out, I wonder how you made it this far. After all, the terror response is literally "FIGHT or flight"

Me: I am sorry. I truly didn't mean to offend anyone. You don't have to like Stolas. Again. I am not saying what he did was right! I am just saying there is more to these characters. That's all. Again. Sorry. 100% sincerly. I didn't mean any harm.

Them: There is more to them, but how you decide to value that is a reflection of you. Dahmer brutally tortured and murdered young men of color and many people romanticize that as him being lonely and gay. John Wayne Gacy tortured and killed 33 boys between the ages of 12 and 18. He was also a victim of physical and sexual abuse. Does any of that matter? You can still see Stolas perspective and all the ways he was hurt and still have the sanity to say "that doesn't excuse what you did".

Them: When you start deciding that the abuse somebody went through is more important than the abuse that they inflict on others around them. That's a reflection of you. We're not even talking about the abuser anymore.

Am I an abuse apologizest? Am I a bad person for defending a character? It's just a cartoon right? I feel so fucking bad right now. I feel like I failed Blitzø. I feel like I shouldn't be in this fandom!! 😭 @lost-romantique @blitzsicedcoffee @hellaversity @firecrackerhh

Tagged some people I follow in the fandom 😢

[justice-flonne]

Twitter and the death of Media Literacy

As the original post now has reblogs turned off before this post came out of the queue, looks like I have to make my own

Lemme tackle picture number 2 first. Number one, what the HELL do you mean "normal mentally ill [woman]"?? There's no such thing. There's not even such a thing as normal non-mentally ill. Everyone is different and has different reactions and symptoms. and number two: where the fuck do you get off calling the author a sex pest for the "crime" of exploring her options in brothels (well, i guess maybe it is a crime, i forget how japan's laws are, but still. i better not hear you demanding more rights for sex workers while indirectly demeaning their jobs, ya nitwit)? Being gay (or even just non-conforming, and that's not even just about gender) in Japan, while not as bad as say, the Middle East, is not exactly a walk in the park. She probably at the time of writing didn't have many options, and everybody explores their sexuality in different ways. It's really messed up that you're calling the author a sex pest for describing her life, especially since she did nothing wrong (as in, her encounters were all consensual. again, don't fully know the laws regarding brothels there. i think it's a "we'll pretend we didn't see that" scenario)

This also kinda ties into the downright dangerous idea that an lgbt+ person, lesbians especially, can only be an innocent pure being. that kind of thinking can and HAS gotten people into horrible abuse scenarios

As for the "incest"... whoo boy, this is gonna be long:

Now, I have actually read this manga, and I can cite the pages with the supposed "incest" mentioned in the first pic. I'd elaborate, but I'm admittedly quite bad at that, so I'll let the comic speak for itself:

(forgive me if there's any errors in the alt text. it's late 😭)

As you can see, the author does not LITERALLY want to fuck her mother. She has childhood issues from not enough affection (elaborated elsewhere in the book, but I'm tired. read it yourself. i got these pages from a definitely legal website, so can you), and wants to be held and coddled. She even straight up says what she feels is abnormal and yearns for a woman NOT RELATED TO HER to do things with. She KNOWS what she feels is strange and wants to (and eventually DOES) grow from this. I could post more images, but i'm probably pushing my luck as is

Point is, you "adults" really, REALLY need to learn that depiction is not the same as endorsement. Not everything is as cut and dry as the Marquis de Sade. This is, as the damn title says, the author's experience with loneliness as a result of growing up with an emotionally distant mother in a society that is markedly different than America

please, PLEASE, learn to think critically, and i mean "critical" in a "english class analysis" kind of way (for lack of a better term), not a "this thing you like is bad and it offends me" "critical." It's alright to be uncomfortable with things and even to not like things, hell I myself am a HUGE hater, but please, don't throw a tantrum because a real person wasn't a smol bean like you hoped

holy shit i need to go to bed

[lime-ether]

Why the , fuck are you blocking your fans? They just repost artists that are Russians, and it’s not their fault that their Putin attacked you

I didn't want to write something like this on this blog but damn. I wanted to close this topic once and for all. There's quite a lot of text here but I'm just tired of being called guilty for the fact that I'm still alive

Ahem, The most important

Don't talk to me in Russian. Do I understand it? Unfortunately, Yes. But I don't want to see it here in my safe space. There is UKR/ENG in my description for a reason.

Maybe when you come to this blog, you think that I am a friendly creator who treats everything neutrally, but no.

If you repost, draw, promote any content in Russian or Russian projects - go away, I'm not happy for you here.

Imbeciles who have never experienced real thought and learn about the world solely through fandom love to tell you wrong with the certainty of a gnat. They relax in their armchairs, scroll through TikTok, think poverty means not owning a house, maybe an iPad, and maybe check one article a day on Twitter/ X — only if it's about pop culture. Then they slide in a news of someone who survived the bombing, acting like they're the moral police. If you know nothing and your understanding is woefully shallow, at least try to resist the urge to write all kinds of nonsense

"bUt wHy cAn't I tAlK aNd sPrEaD fUnNy rUs mEmEs" or "LANGUAGE CAN'T HARM YOU" of course. but the people who use it have killed my neighbors, my parents friends, my uncle, Friends and EVEN A NIECE WHO WAS NOT EVEN A YEAR OLD and many more than just my family.

destroyed other people's houses and my plans for the future

They wish death on each of us every day and the saddest thing is that I grew up with this I don't remember what it was like to live without war, do you think it was three years? 10 years? No. It was practically always like that

So you know they organized the Holocaust–Or famine , made 'fraternal' wars between Ukrainians, simply KILLED OUR NATION EVERY TIME, but we manage to resurrect ourselves almost every time, And every time they try to break us again. It's not just Putin who comes and kills everyone, it's a whole nation that steals, kills and erases important things from history, it's a nation that comes and steals and abuses and steals our children, or do a crimes to women or men.

The most big thing

I hate when westerns joke about 'soviet'

But what I hate most is when they hypocritically repost pro-Palestinian posts and are completely calm about Russians who post what a good day they are having after bombing another residential area

If you are a western that somehow supports Russians and reposts their work, arts, animation, game's, Creation

you are a bad person for me, I'm disappointed in you, get out of here, And don't you dare come back here.

Because Is it THAT HARD for you to at least try to understand what other people might be feeling? It's so hard to check that the person you follow pays taxes and continues to support the nightmare?