#ill be out anywhere n see shit n be like i wonder if id die i wonder if i could die
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my hands FUCKING HURTTTTT
#and my left pinky keeps lockin and it hurts so bad and idk what to dooo#i have genuinely been in constant pain for over a year now#but its not THAT bad i think its like a normal amount of pain like i think if i talked about it to my mom shed be like ok so what#and id be like nothin ig just complainin and then id go to my room and cry#i need to call the doctor i should anyways cause i NEED to be on antidepressants or SOMETHING but i genuinely cant get myself to call#and my mom wont help me so ig whenever i manage to call thats when itll happen im pretty sure im gonna die before then#im so sad and my head hurts and my heart hurts and my HANDS hurt my brain hurts and i see people in the dark and i always feel like im bein#followed n touched and i hear murmurin and random fuckin sounds that make NO sense#I HEAR EGGS BREAKIN!! some kinda fuckin fuzz?? static?? sometimes i hear people SCREAM and it wakes me up like i feel it in my ears#ive been so chill about it though#but theres people in my house and i am scared of them cause i know they want to hurt me and my mom is. makin things worse#shes tryna be nice n chill now i think cause she feels guilty about how bad she upset me but honestly that could be wishful thinkin maybe#she just doesnt care and is just in a good mood.#i been havin violent thoughts n made genuine suicide plans and im watchin myself do all this with detached concern#ill be out anywhere n see shit n be like i wonder if id die i wonder if i could die#im havin a bad time#i feel like i dont even really exist#idk what to do#i feel completely paralyzed
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VERY long survey
Where have you lived throughout your life?
Birmingham UK
Do you find your job rewarding?
N/A
What kind of cake did you have for your last birthday?
chocolate
To you, which is better: English muffins or bagels?
I enjoy both, but bagels.
Do you paint your nails?
yes. although they're not painted at the moment because ive been cleaning the house so much the past couple days and its stripped my varnish off
What’s the last website you signed up for?
a dating thing
Do you check your email everyday?
yes, I cant stand having the little red number above the mail app
Have you created any pages on Facebook?
yes but I dont have them anymore
Is there a subject that you absolutely suck at?
every subject, but especially maths and science
What’s your favourite song by Dave Matthews Band?
I dont know any
Are there people you have absolutely nothing in common with, but still enjoy talking to?
I dot particularly enjoy talking to anyone :’)
Have you ever wandered around drunk with your friend?
yes, we wondered around through the middle of Birmingham at 4am
Are you good at holding back your laughter if needed?
haha nope
Have you ever been so unfortunate to suffer from a hangover?
yes
Have you ever had a panic attack?
many, I had to drop out of college because of them
Are you deathly allergic to anything?
nope
Have you ever had a mouse in your house?
nope
Do you know anyone who DOESN’T have an ex?
myself
Is anyone you know really religious?
my family
Are your eyebrows naturally thick?
yes
Has speaking in front of people ever made you sick?
not physically sick, but definitely felt it. the worst experience Ive had with speaking was in college when I had to give a speech then teach a 10 minute class. my throat totally dried up and I literally couldnt speak. everyone just stared at me and I was trying so hard not to cry. longest 10 minutes of my life and as soon as it finished I legged it out the room and burst into tears.
What was the last movie that made you teary-eyed?
Mary Poppins Returns almost got me but the last film to actually make me cry was Coco. That shit had me SOBBING!
Have you had two friends that absolutely hated each other?
yes
Has a laptop ever burned your legs?
not really, I put a cushion on my lap normally
Do you know anyone who has a scar through their eyebrow?
no
Who was the last person to flip you off?
probably rhys, as a joke
Anyone’s birthday coming up soon?
my dad turns 50 next week
Would you ever wear fake eyelashes?
I have done a few times but they annoy me
Are you good at following directions?
no no no I get confused very easily
Do you have someone that you can just act a fool with and not care?
yes rhys
From where you’re sitting, can you touch a wall?
if I reach behind me
When at a restaurant, do you put your napkin on your lap?
occasionally, it depends where I am and what im eating
Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners?
manual
Are your biceps at all noticeable?
they used to be before they went into hiding under a layer of fat
Have you ever seen a walrus?
nope
When it comes to dropping food, do you believe in the 10 second rule?
no, I believe in the ‘what food is it’ and ‘how dirty is the floor’ rules
If given the opportunity, would you ride on a camel?
yes. I was supposed to have gone on a camel ride in Tunisia ages ago but I was ill so we didn't get to go
Do you believe that cellphones actually do cause cancer?
they could be. the number of people getting cancer has gone up a lot since everyone has mobile phones
When people you know cry, does it make you feel like crying too?
depends who it is
Do you tend to jump to conclusions?
yes. Im an anxious person so im constantly overthinking and I also find people really hard to read and can get
Are you good at remembering your friends’ birthdays?
yes my brain cant remember important things but when it comes to dates its like a sponge
Is there something you need to do, that you’re trying to avoid doing?
getting a job
Ever pop someone else’s pimple?
ew no
How long does it take you to fall asleep?
about 15 minutes depending on how tired I am
Do you crack your neck often?
no that freaks me out
Did you have a weird dream last night?
not that I can remember, I have been having a lot of weird dreams this week because im ill
Who do you sometimes compare yourself to?
everyone. especially when im at the theatre, im constantly watching other people and wishing I could act like they can or look like them or have their style
Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
both
In what way are you your own worst enemy?
every way, I dont look after myself at all
What activities make you lose track of time?
sims
When you help someone do you ever think, “What’s in it for me?”
not really
Who do you tell your secrets to?
these surveys
Who do you live with?
my parents and our foster kids
When did/will you graduate?
I didn't
When are you moving next?
I have no idea. probably never
When is the last time you took a vitamin?
this morning, im fighting a cold
Why are you stressed?
im not too bad right now tbh
Do you need to return anyone’s phone call?
nope
Where do you keep your birth certificate?
no clue, my mom has it somewhere
How many books are in your room?
a lot. I have quite a few on display and a whole bunch hidden away in my closet because theres no space for them anywhere else. I'll include some photos of the books in my room;
(the book on my bedside table in the second picture is actually a lamp that lights up when you open it)
Have you ever been IN a wedding?
nope
What was the last thing you laughed out loud at?
probably my mom
Do you have a nickname? Why?
my family call my bongy or Ali bong, I dont know why.. (my name is Alice)
Have you ever had a bad concert experience?
nope
When was the last time someone told you that you were beautiful/good-looking? Do people often tell you this?
my mom tells me almost every day but Im like youre my mom of course you would say that
Are you missing someone of the opposite sex atm?
no
Want someone back in your life?
meh
Are you currently sad about anything?
actually nope
Are you wearing anything shiny?
my pj top has glittery silver letters on
How important is a sense of humor in a significant other?
very, I fall very easily for people who make me laugh
How many followers do you have on Twitter?
198 (@alicethenerd if ya wanna follow 😉)
Do you sleep with the door open or closed?
closed. I aint about letting those murderers and monsters just waltz straight in easy peasy
Have you ever been to the beach?
yes every summer since I was a kid
Can you handle blood?
nope
Do you pay your bills or do your parents?
I pay my own bills. no way my dad would be up for paying my bills, he already digs at me constantly about the fact that I live rent free even though I look after the foster kids and tidy the house more than he does
What’s your best friend’s middle name?
Connor
Has any place hired you underage for a job?
not officially
Have you ever barely passed a grade/year in school?
yes
Have you ever carried a concealed weapon?
no
Have you ever tried to sell something overpriced to someone?
no
Do you plan to become very wealthy some day?
I hope to become wealthy enough to not worry about having enough money to put fuel in my car anymore and to be able to pay back my parents and grandad for everything they've done for me
Do you remember your first time going to the movies?
no, but my earliest cinema memory was going to watch Monsters Inc with my dad when it was first released
Does eating breakfast make you sick?
if I try to eat before a certain time yes
Are you dying to say something to someone right this minute?
not dying to nope
Book series you enjoyed reading recently?
im reading eve of man atm which apparently is going to be a series
Do you enjoy lying in the grass during the summer, and just existing?
I prefer lying on a blanket, I dont like the feel of grass and I dont like the bugs crawling around
Do you have a passport? If so, how many stamps do you have in it?
yes, it doesn't have many stamps in because I lost the one that did have lots in and I havent been away much since getting the new one
Are there any keys on your keyboard that have letters fading away?
nope
Do any of your close friends have children?
no
What do you plan on having for dinner?
we already had dinner, we had chippy
Do you like Chinese food, or do you find it disgusting?
I only really like one meal
Have the police ever come knocking on your door looking for someone?
actually yes, literally a few weeks ago
Know anybody who works in a tattoo parlor?
yes, my second cousin
Have you ever played flashlight tag?
ive never heard of it
Could you call yourself a movie buff?
not really, im a huge movie fan but theres still a lot I need to see
Have you ever had a piercing get infected?
never had a piercing
Do you check your fire alarms when you’re supposed to?
dad does it
Are you a shorts wearing kind of person?
nope nope nope, my legs are not suitable for public viewing :’)
Is your grandparents’ house obsessively tidy?
not really no. my nan and grandpa’s house is always neat but not obsessively neat. my grandads house is full of clutter because my nan was a hoarder
About how much can you bench press?
I dont know, I havent lifted in years
Have you ever had your phone die on you in the middle of a conversation?
yes
Is anybody in your family a carpenter?
no
Are you avoiding someone?
yes
Do you call your boyfriend “Monkey”?
I dont have a boyfriend but if I did I doubt id call him monkey
What’s your favorite primary color?
yellow #hufflepuffpride
What were you for Halloween?
nothing, I didn't dress up
Do you have any clothes from Walmart?
nope, we dont have Walmart here
When did you get a Facebook?
about 10 years ago
What color are your eyes?
green/hazel
What motivates you?
happiness
Can you walk in heels?
nope
When was the last time someone asked you your age?
the other day, my own mother forgot how old I was
Do you keep a journal?
not really
Have you ever tried a weird flavor of vodka?
never had vodka
Do you wear a ring on your finger?
occasionally
What are you doing?
watching ‘the greatest dancer’ and wondering if this survey is ever going to end
What’s the last kind of soup you ate?
tomato
Do you currently have a sunburn?
no. its winter
Who did you last text?
my sister
Who’d you last call? About what?
my mom, to ask her to come downstairs and let the dogs out because the baby was asleep on me and there was no way I was going to risk waking her up
Are you currently frustrated with someone?
yes
Do you drink water or soda more often?
water
Do you straighten your hair?
yes
When did you last talk to your brother or sister?
today
What is your least favorite vegetable?
all of them
Outside of family, name 3 people that make you smile/laugh often.
Rhys, Addison, Jacob
In school, what subjects did you achieve your highest grades in?
IT
Was there a subject that you enjoyed, but weren’t too good at?
I didn't really enjoy any subjects at school
When was the last time something didn’t go to plan? What happened?
today. I had planned to deep clean the bathroom but I went super dizzy and had to give up half way through cleaning
Do you have any children? If not, at what age do you think you’ll feel ready to be a parent?
I dont but I am seriously considering adopting one of our foster babies atm. I want to adopt anyway, theres no way I could be pregnant
When was the last time you bought a new item of clothing?Describe it.
I honestly cant remember, im due a shopping trip
Was your last Facebook friend request from a male or female?
female
Do you have an item of clothing that makes you feel especially beautiful? Describe it.
not really no
Think of the last person that betrayed you. If they said they were sorry, would you forgive them?
I would cautiously forgive him but I would also make sure he knew that how he treated me was not okay and that he really upset me and this would be his last chance. but tbh I think hes done with me so 🤷🏻♀️
Nastiest thing you’ve ever done?
I dont know, I dont like being nasty
Have you ever been in a lighthouse?
nope
What colour is your shower?
I think its silver, ive ever actually noticed
Where do you order your pizza from?
dominos
When is the last time you had a serious talk with someone?
few days ago
Do you find that you have a certain meal you eat every time you go to certain restaurants?
yes, im a creature of habit
What colour is your bike?
silver & purple
What word can you not stand to hear people say?
the c word, I cant even type it
What room of your house are you in?
living room
What is the temperature in your city right now?
9°c
When did you last use a post-it-note?
last week in the script for the show im currently working on
Would you ever want to own your own restaurant?
yes
Do you have a fan in your bedroom?
no I dont like them, they make too much noise
Who is the last person that you took a picture with?
one of our foster kids
When is the last time you were stuck in a fairly long traffic jam?
the weekend before christmas
Do you have certain friends that you hug every time you see them?
not many
When was your most recent trip to an aquarium?
almost two years ago
What do you like in your salads and what dressing do you prefer?
I dont like salads
If it has one, do you ever use the notepad function in your phone?
all the time, Im constantly writing lists or reminders to myself
How good would you say your memory is?
long term good, short term bad
About how many times during the night do you wake up from your sleep?
a few times
Are there any air fresheners in your house? What kinds?
multiple, we have plugs in and sprays and those automatic ones that go off every 15 minutes
What’s one thing you’re glad you’ve done recently?
done my laundry :’) im on my last pair of pants!
Have you ever done something sexual that you regret?
no
Do you like to sit in the sun and tan when it’s hot out?
not really, I dont like being too hot
Ever had a person who was obsessed with you so much that it scared you?
no
Can you drive, and if you can, do you like it?
yes, I love driving most of the time
Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret?
no
Do you like french fries?
yes
Have you ever eaten so much you puked?
not since I was a kid
Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance?
annoyingly yes
Would you rather go to Greece or France?
greece
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