#holy shit i can't spell today

[tregearix]

SINNERS

ITZY Yeji X Male Reader Smut

You sit quietly in the pew, trying to focus on the priest's sermon, but your mind keeps wandering to the stunning woman on your left. A really beautiful woman with porcelain skin seems to glow in the candlelight. You find yourself sneaking glances at her lips as she hums along to the hymns. You also notices a man sit next to her with a little girl on his lap. And then you realize they must be a family.

Get a grip, you scold yourself silently. She's married. Off limits.

But as the service drones on, you can't help but steal more peeks at the beautiful woman. The way her silky hair falls over her shoulders, the graceful curve of her neck, the cleavage beneath her modest blouse...

Your face flushes with shame and arousal. You shift uncomfortably, trying to will away the stirrings in your groin. This is wrong. I shouldn't be thinking about her like this.

Just then, the woman turns to you with a warm smile, her eyes sparkling. "The sermon are boring isn't it," she whispers conspiratorially.

You feel your cheeks burn as the gorgeous woman leans in close, her sweet breath tickling your ear. "Uh, yeah, a bit," you whisper hoarsely, trying not to stammer. Your heart races, pounding in your chest as you steal another glance at her thin, luscious lips.

Yeji giggles softly, her hand brushing against yours as she shifts position. "I'm Yeji, by the way," she murmurs, her voice low and sultry. "What's your name?"

Her touch sends electricity through your body, making your cock twitch in your pants. You swallow hard, struggling to maintain your composure.

You say your name a bit haltingly, your voice cracking slightly. "Nice to meet you Yeji."

Yeji smiles, her eyes roaming over your face appreciatively. "Likewise," she purrs. "You know, I've seen you here before. I always notice you sitting alone."

Before you can answer her question, she leans in even closer, her breasts pressing against your arm. You can smell her perfume, a heady mix of jasmine and vanilla that makes your head spin.

"Tell me something," she breathes, her lips barely an inch from yours. "Are you always this... distracted during sermons? Or is it just something about me?"

Her question hangs in the air between you, heavy with implication. You feel like you might faint, your heart hammering so loudly that makes you worried everyone in the church will hearing it.

You try to play it cool, but your voice comes out shaky. "What do you mean? I'm just... well, I'm not feeling too great today, that's all."

You shift on your seat, trying to will away the persistent ache in your groin. Damn it, not now. You pray silently, hoping Yeji doesn't notice the growing bulge on your pants.

"Yeah, must be coming down with something," You mutter lamely, avoiding her gaze. You can feel her eyes on you, studying your face intently.

Please, just drop it, You beg internally. I can't handle this right now. But even as you think it, you know it's a lost cause. Yeji has you under her spell, and there's no escape.

Yeji's eyes flick down to your crotch for a split second before meeting your gaze again, a knowing smirk playing on her lips. "Oh, I think I know exactly what you're coming down with," she teases, her voice dripping with innuendo.

She shifts in her seat, crossing her legs slowly and deliberately. The movement causes her skirt to ride up slightly, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of her smooth, creamy thighs.

Holy shit, you think, your mouth going dry. Is she seriously flirting with me right now? In church?

But even as the thought crosses your mind, you find yourself leaning in closer, drawn to her like a moth to a flame. Her scent fills your nostrils - a heady mix of perfume and something else, something primal and intoxicating.

"You know," Yeji murmurs, her hand coming to rest on your thigh. Her touch is electric, sending sparks of pleasure racing through your body. "I have a confession to make."

She leans in even closer, her lips brushing against your ear as she whispers, "I'm not happy in my marriage. My husband... he doesn't satisfy me anymore."

You glance nervously at Yeji's husband, who's sitting beside her with their daughter on his lap, fully focusing on the sermon, oblivious to his wife conversation with you. Turning back to Yeji, your eyes widen in shock and confusion.

"What... what do you mean?" You whisper hoarsely, voice trembling slightly. "You're not happy in your marriage? What are you talking about?"

You also glance around, worried that other congregants might overhear the hushed exchange between the both of you. Your heart pounds on your chest as you struggle to process Yeji's bombshell revelation.

Yeji's eyes gleam with mischief and desire as she leans in even closer, her breath hot against your ear. "Exactly what I said," she purrs, her hand sliding further up your thigh. "My husband... he's a good man, but he can't satisfy me the way I need to be satisfied."

Her fingers brush against the bulge in your pants, making you gasp involuntarily. You feel your cock twitch and harden under her touch, straining against the fabric of your pants.

"I see the way you look at me," Yeji murmurs, her lips grazing your jaw. "I know you want me. And I want you too. I want you so badly, and it hurts."

She presses herself against you, her breasts squishing against your arm as she grinds her hips subtly against your thigh. The heat of her body seeps through your clothes, making you shiver with anticipation.

"Meet me at the storage room in 5 minutes," she breathes, her hand cupping your hardness through your pants. "We can... talk more privately there."

With that, she pulls away, leaving you aching and desperate, your mind reeling with the implications of her words. You watch her turn back to her husband, plastering on a sweet smile as if nothing had happened.

Is this really happening? A beautiful married woman is trying to hook up with me? Your head is spinning, trying to process the incredible turn of events.

You watch in disbelief as Yeji gets up from the pew, murmuring something to her oblivious husband. She glances back at you, her eyes smoldering with desire, before sauntering down the aisle.

You adjust yourself discreetly, trying to ease the ache in your crotch. Your cock is rock hard, straining against the confines of your pants. You can't remember the last time you was this turned on.

As Yeji disappears around the corner, you take a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart. This day was supposed to be a normal Sunday for you but then this is happening. Your mind is battling away - should you go or not?.

Seconds goes by, minute after minute, and you still can't make your choice. You glance at Yeji's husband and daughter anxiously.

Fuck, what do I do? You think to yourself, palms sweating. This is wrong, she's married. But god, the way she was looking at me...

You shift uncomfortably on your seat, your cock throbbing painfully in your pants. You know you should probably just stay put, but the temptation to following Yeji to the storage room is overwhelming.

Screw it, You decide finally, standing up on shaky legs. I'm going to see where this leads, consequences be damned.

You slip out of the pew, trying to act casual as you make your way towards the church annex where the storage room is located. Your heart pounding loudly in your chest, your steps quickening with each passing second, adrenaline pumping through your veins.

What am I doing? you think frantically, your mind a whirlwind of excitement and anxiety. This is crazy. I could get caught. Her husband could find out.

But even as the rational part of your brain screams at you to turn back, your feet carry you forward, drawn to Yeji like a magnet. You reach the door to the storage room, your hand trembling as you reach for the handle.

Taking a deep breath, you push the door open, stepping inside. The room is dimly lit, filled with dusty boxes and old furniture. But there, in the corner, stands Yeji, her eyes glittering with desire.

"I knew you'd come," she purrs, sauntering towards you. Her heels click on the floor, the sound echoing in the quiet room.

"I couldn't resist," you admit, your voice rough with need. "You're just... irresistible."

Yeji laughs, a low, seductive sound. "Flattery will get you everywhere, mister," she says, reaching out to trail a finger down your chest. "Now, why don't you show me just how irresistible you find me?"

Your breath catches in your throat as she presses herself against you, her hands roaming over your body. You can feel every curve of her, every soft inch of skin. It's intoxicating, overwhelming.

"Fuck, Yeji," you groan, your cock throbbing almost painfully in your pants. "You're driving me crazy."

With that, you crashed your lips against hers, kissing her with a hunger that steals her breath away. Yeji hands tangle in your hair, pulling you closer and deeper. You kiss her like a man starved, like she's the only thing that matters in the world. And for this moment, in this dimly lit storage room, she is.

Your hands roam greedily over Yeji's curves, feeling the smooth, supple skin beneath her clothes. You palm her breasts, squeezing and kneading the soft flesh, feeling her nipples harden under my touch. She moans into your mouth, muffled by the sounds of furious kissing.

You slide your hands lower, skimming over her waist and hips, gripping her ass and pulling her flush against you. You grind your rock-hard cock against her, letting her feel how much you wanted her, how desperately you need to be inside her.

"Fuck, Yeji," You groan, breaking the kiss to trail your lips down her neck. "You will be the death of me."

She gasps, tilting her head to give me better access to her sensitive skin.

You continue to explore Yeji's body with your hands and lips, reveling in the soft moans and gasps that spill from her mouth. Your fingers slip under her blouse, caressing the smooth skin of her back, tracing the lacy edge of her bra.

"Please..." she breathes, arching into your touch. "Touch me..." she whimpers needily.

Her words send a bolt of pure lust straight to your cock, making it throb almost painfully in your pants. You slip your hand around to her front, cupping her breast and squeezing gently. Her nipple is hard against your palm, straining against the thin fabric of her bra.

"I need you too, Yeji," you growl, your voice rough with desire. "I need to taste you, to feel you..."

With that, you drop to your knees in front of her, your hands sliding up her thighs to bunch her skirt around her waist. You bury your face between her legs, inhaling deeply. The scent of her arousal is intoxicating, making your head spin with want.

You nuzzle against her clothed pussy, feeling the heat of her through the damp fabric of her panties. She tangles her fingers in your hair, tugging gently as she grinds against your face.

"Oh yes.." she moans, her head thrown back in ecstasy. "Oh god, yes..."

You hook your fingers in the waistband of her panties and tug them aside, exposing her glistening pink folds to your hungry gaze. You lean in, running your tongue along her slit, tasting her essence on your lips.

She cries out, her grip on your hair tightening as she rocks her hips against your mouth. You lap at her eagerly, savoring the sweet nectar of her arousal, your tongue delving deep to stroke her most sensitive spots.

"Fuck," she gasps, her thighs trembling around your ears. "Don't stop, please don't stop..."

You have no intention of stopping. You're going to make her cum, to make her forget about everything except the feeling of your tongue on her pussy. You're going to ruin her just like she desired, you're gonna make her crave you like a drug.

And as you redouble your efforts, as her moans grow louder and more desperate. You pull away from Yeji's dripping pussy for a moment, looking up at her with lust-filled eyes. "Shh," You whisper urgently, reminding her where we are. "Don't be too loud."

She bites her lip, nodding in understanding as she tries to stifle her moans. You grin wickedly before diving back in, your tongue delving deep into her tight channel. You lap at her greedily, savoring her sweet taste and the way her thighs tremble around your ears.

"Mmmph..." she whimpers, her fingers tangling in your hair as she rocks her hips against your face.

You double down your efforts again, determined to make her cum hard on your tongue. Your nose brushes against her clit as you tongue-fuck her, the lewd wet sounds filling the storage room. You can feel her getting closer, her pussy clenching around your tongue.

"Give it to me Yeji," You growl against her sensitive flesh. "Cum for me, baby. Let me taste that sweet nectar."

Her whole body goes rigid, her back arching as she throws her head back in ecstasy. "Fuuuck!" she cries out, her pussy gushing around your tongue as she rides out her intense orgasm.

You lap it all up, drinking down her delicious juices like a man dying of thirst. You don't stop until she's trembling and whimpering. Her thighs shaking so much, threatening to giving up.

You pull back, licking your lips in satisfaction as you admire your handiwork. Yeji is sprawled against the wall, her chest heaving, her eyes glazed over with pleasure.

"Holy shit," she pants, a lazy smile spreading across her face. "That was... incredible."

You stand up, pressing yourself against her, letting her feel the hard length of your cock straining against my zipper. "Oh, we're just getting started, beautiful," you promise darkly, your hands sliding down to grip her ass.

Yeji's eyes widen as she feels the hard length of your cock pressing against her. She licks her lips, her gaze smoldering with desire.

"Mmm, I can't wait to feel that inside me," she purrs, grinding her hips against yours. "I want you to fuck me so hard, I won't be able to walk straight for a week."

You groan, your cock throbbing at her words. You reach down, undoing your belt and zipper to free your aching erection. It springs out, slapping against your stomach, already dripping with pre-cum.

Yeji's eyes widen as she takes in the sight of your impressive length. "Oh my," she breathes, her hand reaching out to wrap around your shaft. "You're even bigger than I imagined."

You hiss through your teeth as she starts to stroke you, her hand gliding up and down your length. Your hips buck involuntarily, seeking more of her touch.

"Fuck, Yeji," you groan, your head falling back against the wall. "That feels so good."

She smiles wickedly, her hand speeding up, twisting on the upstroke just the way you like it. "I want to make you feel good," she purrs, her other hand reaching down to cup your balls. "I want to make you cum so hard until you'll see stars."

Yeji sinks to her knees in front of you, her eyes never leaving yours as she reaches for your throbbing cock. Her small, delicate hand wraps around your thick shaft, barely able to encircle its girth.

"Mmm, you're so big," she purrs, stroking you slowly. "I can't wait to taste you."

You groan as she leans in, her hot breath ghosting over the sensitive head of your cock. Her tongue darts out, licking a bead of pre-cum from the slit. The sensation is electric, sending sparks of pleasure racing up your spine.

"Fuck, Yeji," You gasp, your hips bucking involuntarily.

She smiles up at you, her eyes glinting with mischief before she parts her lips and takes you into the wet heat of her mouth. You let out a low moan as she starts to suck, her head bobbing up and down your length.

It's almost too much to bear. The sight of a gorgeous woman on her knees, worshipping a cock, this is the stuff of every man's fantasies. You tangle your fingers in her hair, guiding her movements as she takes you deeper.

"That's it, baby," You groan, your voice strained with pleasure. "Suck my cock just like that. Fuck, you're so good at this."

Yeji looks up at you, her eyes watering slightly as she takes you to the back of her throat. She relaxes her jaw, letting you slide even deeper, until you feel the head of your cock bumping against the entrance to her throat.

You let out a guttural moan, your hips thrusting forward involuntarily. "Jesus, Yeji," You gasp, your fingers tightening in her hair. "You're amazing."

Yeji moans around your cock, the vibrations sending jolts of pleasure through your body. She bobs her head faster, taking you deeper into her throat with each downward motion. Her tongue swirls around the sensitive head of your cock, teasing the slit and lapping up the pre-cum that leaks from the tip.

"Mmmph... mmmm..." she hums, the sound muffled by your thick shaft stretching her lips.

Your head falls back, your eyes closing as you lose yourself in the incredible sensations. Yeji's mouth is pure heaven, hot, wet and perfect. You can feel your orgasm building, your balls tightening as she works you closer and closer to the edge.

"Fuck, Yeji," you pant, your hips thrusting shallowly as you fight the urge to cum. "I'm gonna... I'm gonna cum..."

She pulls off with a lewd pop, her hand stroking your shaft as she looks up at you with hooded eyes. "Do it," she urges, her voice husky with desire. "Cum for me, I want to taste it."

With a guttural groan, you let go, your cock pulsing as you shoot your load into her waiting mouth. She moans in delight, her tongue lapping at your shaft as she swallows every last drop of your cum.

You almost sag down to the floor, your chest heaving as you try to catch your breath. Yeji stands up, licking her lips as she savors the taste of you.

"That was incredible," she purrs, pressing herself against you. "But we're not done yet, are we?"

You shake your head, "Not even close," You growl, your voice rough with desire. You can feel your shaft hardening again, rising to attention as if begging for more of Yeji's touch.

"You're insatiable," she teases, her hand wrapping around your thick length and giving it a squeeze. You hiss in pleasure, your hips bucking into her touch.

"Only for you," you pant, your hands gripping her hips tightly. "I want to fuck you so hard, you'll be feeling me for days."

Yeji's eyes darken with lust, a wicked smile playing on her lips. "Then what are you waiting for?" she purrs, turning around and bending over a nearby crate. She looks back at you over her shoulder, her skirt flipped up to reveal her perfect, round ass. "Take me, make me yours."

You don't need to be told twice. You step forward, your cock throbbing with anticipation as you lined up behind her. You rub the head of your shaft through her wet folds, coating it in her arousal.

"Fuck, you're so wet," You groan, your fingers digging into her hips. "I can't wait to be inside you."

With that, you thrust forward, burying yourself to the hilt in her tight heat. You both cry out at the sudden intrusion, your bodies joining as one. You pause for a moment, savoring the feeling of her walls clenching around you.

"God, you feel amazing," You pant, your hips starting to move. "So tight, so perfect."

Yeji moans, pushing back against you, urging you to go deeper, harder. And you comply, your hips snapping forward as you begin to fuck the married woman with abandon. The storage room echoes with the lewd sounds of your coupling, the slap of skin on skin, the creaking of the crate.

"Yes.. yes.. yes..!" Yeji cries out, her fingers scrabbling on the rough wood. "Harder! Fuck me harder!"

"Shhh, be quiet Yeji," The faint voice of the priest on the mic reminded where we are right now, but you obliged her request, your thrusts becoming more forceful, more demanding. You lean over her, your chest pressed against her back as you piston in and out of her sopping wet cunt.

"Take it, Yeji," You growl in her ear, your hand snaking around to rub her clit. "Take my cock like you were made for it."

Yeji cries out, her body shaking with pleasure as you pound into her. "Yes, just like that!" she moans, her fingers digging into the wood of the crate. "Don't stop, please don't stop!"

You can feel her getting closer, her pussy clenching around your cock like a vice. You redouble your efforts, your hips slapping against her ass with each powerful thrust. Your fingers work her clit, rubbing it in tight circles as you bring her closer and closer to the edge.

"That's it, baby," you pant, your own orgasm building in your core. "Cum for me. Cum on my cock."

With a keening wail, Yeji's body goes rigid, her pussy spasming around your shaft as she cums hard.

You didn't slow down, not even for a second. You fucked Yeji even harder as she came, your hips slamming into hers with bruising force. You could feel her pussy clenching and fluttering around your cock, trying to milk you dry, and it felt fucking incredible.

The storage room was hot and stuffy, the air heavy with the scent of sex. The world outside faded as you continued fucking the married woman. You aware how taboo and sinful it is, to fucking a married woman in a church, but you didn't care. All you cared about was the feeling of Yeji's tight cunt gripping you, the way she moaned and writhed beneath you.

You angled your hips, hitting that spot inside her that made her seeing stars. "Fuck, Yeji," You gasped, your balls drawing up tight. "You feel so fucking good."

You could feel your second release is barreling down, your cock throbbing and twitching inside her. But you held back, determined to make her cum again before you let yourself go.

Your fingers finding her clit again, rubbing it in tight, fast circles. "Come on, baby," You urged, your voice strained with the effort of holding back your own orgasm. "Give me another one. Cum all over my cock like a good slut you are."

Yeji's body trembles under your touch, her pussy clenching and unclenching around your throbbing cock as you play with her clit. "Oh my god," she moans, her voice high and breathy. "I'm... I'm gonna... oh fuck!"

Her words dissolve into a wordless cry of ecstasy as she comes again, her pussy gushing around your shaft. You followed behind her, with a guttural groan you let go, your hips slamming into hers one last time as you bury yourself as deep as possible inside her.

"Fuck, Yeji!" You cursed, your cock pulsing as you fill her with your seed. "Take it all, baby. Take my cum."

Yeji's body goes limp, her forehead resting on the crate as she tries to catch her breath. You collapse on top of her, your cock softening, still buried deep inside her. Your chest heaving as you try to regain your breath.

After a moment, you pull out, watching as your combined fluids drips out of her well-fucked hole. You scoop some up with your fingers, bringing it to her lips. "Taste us," You murmur, your voice husky with satisfaction.

Yeji parts her lips, sucking your fingers into her mouth and licking them clean. "Mmm," she purrs, her eyes half-lidded with pleasure. "We taste good together."

You smile, leaning in to capture her lips in a deep, passionate kiss. You both stay like that for a moment, lost in each other, before reality starts to creep back in.

"We should probably get cleaned up," You murmur reluctantly, pulling away. "Before someone comes looking for us."

You both quickly fix your clothes and clean up any evidence of the tryst. You tuck your semi-hard cock back into your pants, wincing slightly as you do. It's still sensitive from the intense fucking session, the fabric of your pants feels rough against your skin. You zip up, trying to ignore the lingering ache in your balls.

Yeji smooths down her skirt and blouse, running her fingers through her hair to tame the wild strands. She looks flushed and satisfied, a secret smile playing on her lips.

"That was amazing," she murmurs, her voice low and husky. "I can't believe we're just having sex on church."

You grin, pulling her close for one last kiss. "Believe it, baby. And that was fucking incredible."

You both take a moment to catches breath, your hearts racing as you come down from the high of illicit encounter. "We should probably get back before they start to wonder where we went," You say reluctantly. "You go first, remember to look around first, I'll go after a few minutes".

Yeji nods, giving you one last heated glance before slipping out of the storage room. You wait a beat, your heart pounding in your chest as you listen for any signs of movement outside.

When you're sure the coast is clear, you step out into the empty hallway, your senses on high alert.

You slip back into the main sanctuary, you make your way to your seat, trying to act casual as you sit down again next to Yeji. She's engrossed in conversation with her husband and daughter, seemingly unaffected by what just happened between the both of you.

You glance towards church altar, realizing that the sermon is almost over. The priest is wrapping up his final points, preparing for the closing prayer. You try to focus on his words, but your mind keeps drifting back to the feel of Yeji's body, the taste of her on my tongue. You sneak a glance at Yeji, wondering if she's feeling the same way, are she's thinking about you as much as you thinking about her.

But she's all smiles and laughter with her family, the picture of the perfect wife and mother. No one would ever guess that just moments ago, she was on her knees in a storage room, worshipping another man's cock like it was her reason for living.

The thought of it sends a shiver down your spine, and you have to bite back a groan. As the congregation rises for the final prayer, you bow your head, your eyes squeezed shut. But you're not praying for forgiveness or redemption. You're praying for another chance, another opportunity to get lost in Yeji's body, to forget about everything else except the feel of her skin against yours.

It's a dangerous game you're playing, you know that. But you can't seem to stop yourself. Yeji has gotten under your skin, and you don't think the tryst memory you have with her in the storage room will going away easily.

The sermon ends and the congregation begins to disperse, chatting amongst themselves as they file out of the pews. You hang back, watching as Yeji gathers up her daughter and husband, leading them towards the exit.

You hesitate for a moment, torn between following her and keeping your distance. But the magnetic pull of her body, the memory of her taste on your tongue, is too strong to resist. You fall into step behind them, keeping a discreet distance as you follow them out into the bright sunlight.

As they reach the parking lot, Yeji turns to her husband, exchanging a quick kiss before ushering their daughter into the backseat of their car. You watch as she slides into the front seat, her husband climbing in beside her.

Just before he closes the door, Yeji glances up, her eyes locking with yours. For a moment, you see a flash of heat, of unspoken promise, before she looks away, her expression once again the picture of wifely devotion.

The car pulls out of the lot, and you're left standing there, your heart racing, your mind reeling with the possibilities of what might happen next.

[boiohboii]

The Spaniard's Wife (Carlos Sainz x wife!reader)

Inspired by @charles-eclair16 's fic

Carlos Sainz had a secret for the past 9 years, but when he forgot to take off the one thing that can reveal everything, everyone has questions

or

in which Carlos let's everyone know that the rumors, in fact, are true

masterlist

N.B: didn't turn out how I wanted but I've been rewriting it multiple times and I think this is the best option, hope you like it...WARNINGS: swear words a lot, not proof read, spelling mistakes and really bad photoshop tbh, if I missed anything please let me know!

Faceclaim: Emeraude Toubia

Liked by Charles_leclerc, danielricciardo, landonorris and 910,583 others

Carlossainz55: my wife and I have been friends for 20 years, we have been lovers for 13 of those years, engaged for 2 and married for 9. I have never been sure of much, but I am sure that I love her with my entire heart, I will always love her. I have known yn since before I could even dream of being an f1 driver, what happened in that one interview was disrespectful and just disgusting. No one has any right to speak any ill word of my wife, you don't know her and you never will, as long as she doesn't want you to. I will do everything for her, for her happiness, her comfort and for her ease of mind.

landonorris: tell yn I miss her!

Carlossainz55: leave her alone

landonorris: I'll tell her that you're rude to me

Carlossainz55: she's my wife!

landonorris: yeah yeah, you never let us forget it

username: yn been here since day 0 apparently, can't fight her now

username: YES!! CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS!

username: I want dts to make a reincarnation of their love story

username: we need a spinoff

username: yes! It'd be so cute

username: I can't imagine 16 year old carlos realising he is in love with his friend

username: she is every man's wet dream

-this comment has been removed-

username: she looks so pretty wtf

username: she's looks like a doll

username: wish i looked like that at 20 years old

username: her dress is phenomenal

username: this screams money

username: 2 different cars for a wedding

username: the third slide, holy shit

username: I wouldn't be surprised if the last 2 pictures are carlos' or her house, like holy fuck

username: both scream rich

username: mum used to say rich people look it and I never gave it much thought until I saw carlos sainz and now his wife

username: did y'all see the picture that one twitter user took? Their outfits looked so fucking good

username: YES! I SAW IT! I could never afford a thread on either outfit!

username: did you guys see her hair! It looks so thick and healthy

username: fr!

username: I want a wedding like that!

username: I want a husband like that!

username: I want a wife like that!

username: I love how he is not in one single picture 💀😂

Liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, Pierregasly and 1,209,316 others

Carlossainz55: 10 years since i was able to call you wife, and I will never get tired of letting everyone know that. I am in love with you, forever and always.

Charles_leclerc: simp

Carlossainz55: I don't know what that means

landonorris: ikr, it's laughable man @.Charles_leclerc

Charles_leclerc: don't pretend like you're not the same with your girl @.landonorris

username: damn charles really coming for everyone's neck today

username: bet charles is the biggest simp of them

username: he really making us feel lonely as hell huh

username: 10 fucking years, Holy shit!

username: no cause if I had yn by my side I too would be in fucking love

username: don't embarrass yourself, everyone knows you're in love without her by your side

username: I didn't ask to be attacked like that wtf

[8ttached]

pretty laced dress

pairings - fontaine x blk woman

warnings - 18+ smut minors dni!! bathroom + mirror sex, oral (fem receiving) overstimulation, not proof read, aave mentioned in story.

word count - 830

a/n: hey guys!! i just wanna say thank you for 100+ followers?! i feel so honored to have so many people enjoy my writing thank you thank youu!! im trying to ease my way back to being more active on this account and having you guys know a little more about me but just know my reqs are definitely open right now so help a sister out with recommending some writing prompts (smut or not id be glad to write them) but dont hold it over my head i still have a life yall (T0T)

summary: it's your anniversary night with Fontaine and as you guys are getting ready to hit the road, your boyfriend couldn't get enough of the black lacy dress you slipped on. after seeing your boyfriend get needier by the minute he realizes you two have a little time to spare.

(reblogs and comments are most definitely appreciated!!)

“Hey baby, can you help me with this dress?” 

Today marked your 2nd year anniversary with fontaine and what better way to celebrate than a nice dinner between the two of you. This was your second time trying on this dress. the black, thin, tight dress that complimented you in every way. From your deep skin tone to your delicate curves, that dress had your name written all over it. There was one problem though, the zipper. The cheap zipper on the back of your dress. Not only was it hard to zip up yourself, but when you tired, the zipper would never budge. Which is why you called fontaine into the shared bathroom

You were too focused on the zipper to notice your observant boyfriend standing by the door, quietly admiring you from head to toes. By time you got impatient you turned to the door getting ready to yell out for him again only to get startled by the tall, male figure leaning on the door frame. 

“Holy shit Fontaine don't scare me like that!” your freshly done nails laid on your chest while you catch your breath. “My bad ma, whatchu need help with?” Fontaine asks, his hands slowly wondering on your hips. “Can you zip the zipper in the back?” ignoring your boyfriend's rough hands wondering from your hips up to your waist. “Mhm” he lightly nods, his hand not leaving your waist. The zipper started from the bottom to the middle of your back and Fontaine loved it. He loved how well it complemented you. Your glistening, defined back, the gold necklace clasp that hung down the back of your neck, he loved Everything. Sure, he was quiet, but his thoughts were sure loud as hell and It took everything in him not to blow your back out right then and there.

He took his time zipping up your dress, admiring what everyone else wanted but definitely couldn't have. He hums quietly. “You so beautiful baby.” you cheese at the compliment. “Thank you baby.” you smile looking towards him through the mirror, noticing his eyes glued on your back. “I could blow your back out right now.” he whispers in his raspy voice. You gasp. “Fontaine!” you yell out. “what, I can't admire you right now..” he trails off as he gets distracted. He observed how your dress hugged your curves, how it shaped your ass perfectly. He really could stare at you for hours. “Ya think we got a lil' time to spare?” you feel his warm breath on the crook of your neck before you feel light kisses from his thick dark lips. The only thing he did was breathe on your neck and already he has your ass under his spell. You take a deep breath eagerly nodding your head. “Uh huh.. but we have to be quick” You take a deep sigh. 

“Then lemme not take this time for granted.” you feel his light grin against your sensitive neck

There you were, bent over the bathroom sink getting your pussy eaten by the starved man behind you. The bathroom was filled with muffled moans and high-pitched whimpers. “fuck taine!” your spread legs caused the dress to stretch from the floor. “Mhm, my perfect lady, you’re so sexy” Fontaine mumbles against your soaked pussy as he grips your ass tightly earning a shaken hum from you.  “Mm- I'm gonna-”

“Mhm, There you go, let it out, baby.” 

his vibrated praise sends you through your 1st orgasm. after what felt like only minutes you were losing your mind. From the Hickeys and bite marks all over your neck and collar bone, your ass stinging from each smack and passionate grip, to your man eating your sloppy pussy as if he hasn't eaten in days. all of it was becoming overwhelming. “t-too much taine please..” you whimper as you grip the bathroom counter, desperate for support. Throughout the orgasms you’ve given out, he didn't let you catch a break, let alone your breath.

 “Mm mm, i know you can take a baby, i know you can.” he slips his middle and ring finger inside your sloppy cunt. 

Everything felt intense but so good. Everything Fontaine was saying was going out one ear and right out the other until you felt a smack against your ass.

“Taine- gonna cum again!” you yelled out. Arching your back, pleading for more. 

“Thats right ma, let it all out mhm i got you” 

was all you could hear before you clashed into yet another orgasm.

the ringer on your phone interrupted causing you to fall back into consciousness. “Just in time” Fontaine whispers as he pulls your lacy black panties back up and your dress back down over your ass. You look up at the mirror noticing his obvious boner in his pants. “Wait, taine what about-”

“i can wait till later tonight” he kisses your temple, grinning at you. 

“Now fix ya self up, we gon be late.” and so you did.

[thatfreshi]

Appreciate the Astarion works!!! 💙💙💙

If you'd like another request, what about Tav gifting him something that allows him to see his reflection? Idk some kinda spell/amulet/potion? They're already to the point where he feeds from them or in a relationship and he's just beyond touched/ shocked they would do something for him like this? (Bc we know he's not ever had the most kindness shown to him)

he's been living rent free in my head and I just want to give him everything his undead lil heart desires.

Recommended Song: Mirrorball - Taylor Swift

(I just started listening to her music and holy shit this song is so them!!!)

It's late, the perfect time of day for the two of you. You and Astarion and out in your backyard, putting out some new furniture that he haggled for today. It's hard to say no to that smile, you would know. As you move nice chairs around debating where you should put them, you get into a playful argument.

"I know you're like, the house decorator, but gods why can't we put it in this corner?"

"Because darling, it'll ruin the feng shui. We should put the chairs here instead, and keep the plants over here."

You roll your eyes.

"I bet you don't even know what feng shui means."

"I don't, but it sure sounds fancy doesn't it?"

You giggle.

"What, I'm laughable because I don't know one tiny phrase? I bet there are plenty of words you don't know."

"Well, I don't know them, so I'm not worried about them."

You saunter over to him, throwing your arms up around his shoulders, and the two of you stare at each other for a moment.

"You know our anniversary is tomorrow right?"

"How could I forget my sweet?"

"I don't know, maybe the way you forgot what feng shui means."

"Okay, ouch. But yes of course, I have wondrous plans for the two of us."

"Okay but you can't have that good of plans because I really need to make sure you don't one-up this."

You walk back into the house for a brief moment, grabbing a scroll out of your bag.

"When I walked away while we were at the market, because I said I got tired of hearing you argue with that old lady? Well, I found this."

You hold the scroll out, and he gently grabs it out of your hands.

"I tried to get Gale to teach me, but you know I'm not very magically inclined so..."

He unrolls the scroll, reading the scrawled writing.

"This is-"

You cut him off in excitement.

"Mirror image! I thought maybe you could use it to make a reflection of yourself."

He stares at the scroll in shock.

"How much did you pay for this?"

"None of your damn business."

You grin at him, knowing all too well that you paid that guy way too much.

"This is very sweet my dear, I... I don't know what to say."

"Well you don't have to say anything, try it!"

After reading for a moment, he goes to cast the spell. He says a few words that go right over your head, and suddenly there were three more Astarions in your backyard.

"Gods!"

Astarion's cry of shock echoed through, all four of him? You're not quite sure how this works. After getting his bearings, Astarion looks around at his three reflections.

"Wow, this is certainly... wow."

You're so excited, you can finally show him all the little details you like about him, he gets to see how gorgeous he is, the list goes on and on.

"Okay, I have to do something funny, because I NEED you to see your little laugh lines. Hm..."

He furrows his brow at you, wondering what you're planning. And then you tickle his sides, causing an eruption of laughter.

"Quick, look!"

As he's still smiling, he catches a glimpse of one of the reflections, the little crow's feet he gets when he laughs.

"Oh, that was so important you had to attack me? If anything they make me look old."

"Well... you are kinda old."

He playfully pushes your shoulder. After the two of you quiet your laughter, he stands staring at one of the reflections, taking it all in. The eyes, the hair, trying to remember what he used to look like.

"What do you think?"

"I think... I think it's fitting."

He snarls to look at his fangs. Astarion has never seen just how menacing he can be, why people listen to him when he's threatening. You don't see anything scary though. Maybe you used to, long long ago. But now, he's just Astarion. That's all he has to be.

"This red really is quite bright."

He says, commenting on his eyes.

"Yeah, they're nice though. Piercing."

"At least my hair looks as good as I think it does. All my efforts haven't been wasted."

And just as fast as they came, the reflections vanish, fading out of existence. It's just the two of you again.

"Damn, I thought it would last a little longer."

You frown a little, wondering if it was really worth it. Astarion catches your glance, realizing your doubt. He tilts your chin up and cups your face in his hand.

"Even if it was short, it was a wondrous gift darling. I appreciate it, truly. Besides, now I know what kind of handsome devil you've ended up with."

"Yeah, trust me, I know."

You wrap yourselves up in each other, locking lips, somehow sharing your gratitude for each other in kisses. He gets a little handsy, and you jokingly whisper to him.

"Should've done this with the reflections."

He laughs quietly.

"Oh hush."

You end the evening tangled up in each other, and he seems to be more sure of himself than usual. Turns out seeing yourself after two hundred years can do something for the ego. Maybe one day, you'll find a more permanent soluton, but for now, one little scroll is enough. He's enough. You're both enough, as long as you have each other.

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

Destinytober24: Day 2 - Tower

In the Destinypedia article on the Tower of Woe (from the Scarlet Keep strike) there's a quote at the top:

After much investigation, this has been determined to not be an actual quote from anywhere within Destiny that anyone has been able to find.

Link to Ao3 if you prefer to read it there

"Tower of Woah? …It's not that impressive."

"What?"

"You said it was the Tower of Woah. It don't make me go woah."

"There are times when you are completely incomprehensible."

"Pot. Kettle."

"Hmmm…"

"Don't guardians normally have to fight their way in here?"

"Yes."

"But we just walked in right through the Scarlet Keep and no one bothered us."

"Yes."

"And there ain't nothin' shooting us as we go up this elevator right now."

"Correct."

"But when I looked this place up in the Hidden archives there was footage of-"

"You have been infiltrating the Hidden archives? Again?"

"Well you said we were goin' here. I wanted to research it."

"You could have simply asked me and I would have shared the relevant files."

"But then I wouldn't possibly come across any irrelevant files. The amount of times I've stumbled across the most profitable-"

"Do. Not."

"Right. Sorry. Point bein'… the footage I saw had Hive Acolytes shootin' Guardians in this elevator from those holes in the sides."

"Alcoves."

"Sure, whatever. They were in there in those Al-Coves shooting guardians as they came up the tower like they was fish in a barrel. No cover. Shoot before ya get shot. But there ain't no one shooting us here. Last Guardians through can't have got rid of all the Hive in this tower. Those fuckers move back in hours after you clean 'em out. Sometimes five minutes if you time it right."

"Yes. But they are not here now."

"That's my point. Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why ain't they here tryin' to kill us?"

"Because I sent them away."

"You what? You can… command them?"

"The lesser Hive are easily compelled with sufficient magic and force of will, yes. The spell will last for the next four hours, which is more than enough time for us to make a full circuit of the tower and take care of anything we might find."

"Holy shit. I didn't know you could do that. That's… hot."

"Hmmm…"

"Wait… You said the lesser ones. What about the greater ones?"

"This is why I requested your assistance."

"You can't take on the greater Hive?"

"I can, and frequently do. However this is one of those situations you have mentioned before… where it 'makes sense to bring a friend'… just in case."

"Buddy system. I get ya. Surprised you didn't just bring one of the Guardians."

"I usually do. I will in future, if you prefer."

"No. I do not prefer. I like this. You know I like this."

"I do. Hence your invitation."

"Just not used to you… bringin' me along for… Moon shit… that's all. I like it. I hope we do it more. I'm happy to come with ya for anything, you know that."

"I do."

"Hey… wait a sec… is this… a date? This is a date, isn't it?"

"What? No. Why would it be a date? How does that even make any sense?"

"Creepy Hive tower��� you scared 'em all off so we can be alone… maybe we fight something nasty together… murder is a form of love for Hive so us killin' something big together is kinda-"

"No. We are here to set wards and confirm the tower's energy is not being put to even more nefarious uses than it is routinely. It is not a… date."

"Not with that attitude."

"Ugh."

.

"Hoo-ee! Four Ogres, six Wizards and nine Hive Knights… It may not be the Tower of Whoa but it sure is the Tower of Ass-kicking today."

"Tsch."

"That was fun. You should take me out on dates like this more often, Moondust. You really do know how to get someone's blood flowing."

"Hmmm… Yes. You should use your ghost for that."

"Nope. Not gonna."

"Do not be ridiculous. You are likely to lose consciousness from blood loss before we even get back to Sanctuary."

"Nah. Brought a first aid kit. Gimme a bit and I'll have myself patched up. It'll be fine."

"A first aid kit? Why would you bring a first aid kit? You have a ghost."

"Because you don't."

"What?"

"Rule number one about hangin' around Lightless, is you bring a first aid kit in case they need it. My ghost can't do shit if you get hurt."

"Do you… always bring a first aid kit when you are… with me?"

"Uh… yup."

"Really."

"Well… yeah, Moondust."

"That is… extremely thoughtful and… kind."

"Really? Wild. It's almost like I like you or something."

"Or something."

"Hey… you sure this ain't a date, Moondust? Cuz when you're up close touchin' my face all gentle like this, it really is very nice… and it almost looks like you might wanna kiss me right about now."

"Do you never stop talking? Even now… with our lips so close together… you are still… talking."

"Yeah well, if you want me to shut my mouth so bad, maybe you should shut it for me."

.

"Ok I take it back. It is the Tower of Whoa."

"Tsch."

Link to the entire month's worth of prompts on Ao3, posted daily.

[fakescenariosbeforesleepblog]

Suspicious.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x Reader.

Gaz and you were friends during your childhood and teenage years, such a surprise when you find him out of the building where you're working.

PT2

Warning: spelling and grammatical errors, maybe is not good enough but I had the idea stuck in my head. Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

You were late, just at the worst time your car decided to not work, the bus was late too, the subway was having electric problems, you were running through the town, you changed your clothes in a public bathroom close to the building where you will be working.

You're wearing black, you have a gun and pocket knives, some tissues and more, just in case something goes wrong, suddenly, someone collided with you.

- Fuck! Look where you're going asshole!

You started to pick your notebooks, laptop, ipad, cellphone and all the stuff you had on your hands without looking at the stranger who decided to make your day more difficult.

- Y/N?

That voice...

You looked up, is he...? No, there's no way but... Those brown eyes, that black hair, that smile... He kneeled down to help you without leaving eye contact, you're still shocked, you could expect anyone else but him.

- Garrick? Kyle Garrick?

- Yeah! The legend.

You laughed, both stood up and he handed you all the rest of your things.

- Oh my god! Years without seeing or knowing something about you man!

- I Know, I was going to say the same!

- Look at you! Oh lord! You look amazing, you look pretty much better than I remember.

- I always was attractive, I'm just like the Wine, Y/n

- ha-ha! If you say so!

- Where you were going?

You realized you were going somewhere and you were going late.

- holy shit! I have to... Oh... I actually... This is where I was going.

You pointed at the building in front of you, Kyle looked at you and then the building.

- Do you work here?

- Ah... Yeah! I... I do, home office but today they asked me to come, it's an emergency or something.

- What's your job here Y/n?

- oh, you know, I always was a nerd, computers, operative system, security and technologies.

- oh right! I remember my grades at the end of school were magically fixed, thanks to you!

- Yes, my first time hacking something, the system at school, was really funny!

You were so happy to see Kyle, you and him were good friends when you were young, you remember the afternoons after school wasting time at the park, or the lake, parties with your brother's friends, Kyle and you always causing troubles, always side by side, life was good.

- What about you Garrick, I lost your steps after our last summer...

- I joined the army. I shouldn't say it loud but I'm working right now actually

- Ohh, well...You always loved the adrenaline...

- I know, it made me well, I'm working all the time and sometimes I want to take a break but... I love my job, I can't complain.

-Same, ahhh I... I still remember that last summer, you know?

You're not lying, you remember every moment of that last summer, you remember the last time you saw him, things stayed in the air, you wanted to talk about what happened But welcome back to reality, your smartwatch alarm remembered that you needed to run.

- Fuck, fuck... Sorry, Kyle has been a nice moment and I would love to keep talking but I have to go, ok? I'll see you... Around I hope!

- For sure...

You didn't give him time to finish, you ran to the building, nobody paid attention to you, no one noticed the cameras stopped to work, and no one asked you to show your credentials. You took the elevator to the penultimate floor. As soon as you arrived you walked directly to the first door, "Security systems", as you supposed, there's a numeric keypad block.

Easy, you already have that information, you hacked a part of the system. «5-8-9-6-2-7» «access granted».

You took a seat and started to work, all the information from this company was now in your hands inside an external hard drive. You made a call.

- Sir, I have the information you requested, send the money and my transport.

- Well done darling, the transport is on the way. Go to the building's roof, you will find a parachute, use it... Oh! And don't forget to do the other thing, a car will be waiting for you near to the park.

You've been doing this for years, you're a hacker, working in a private company "les hiboux" (the owls). You don't care about the information You're taking, you only care about the payment.

You never had troubles, but, as today you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, troubles were on the way.

Kyle was actually saying the truth, he was working, him and the boys were trying to find the person who had been hacking and selling important information, he was still waiting for someone suspicious.

- Gaz. Who was that?

- Just an old friend Soap. Focus.

- Well, your friend works in that building, casually works with the security...

- I know, I heard it too Ghost.

-And Is the only one who got inside since we arrived.

- Yes, so what?

- Gaz... What if your friend is the person we're trying to capture?

The Captain's question woke Up Kyle's curiosity, he started to repeat inside his head every second of the conversation, you weren't wearing clothes for a job In a company like that, you brought a lot of things with you, every pocket in your clothes looked suspiciously full of stuff, you didn't know where exactly the building was located, you weren't specific about your job in the place. Everything was suspicious.

Kyle finally realized, you're definitely suspicious, he ran inside the building.

- Kyle! Wait!

- Cap, you're right, we have to capture now!

Each one started to work on his part of the plan, Kyle was on the elevator, when he arrived at the floor he only saw you coming out of the room, you had a bottle on your hand, he knew perfectly what it was, a Molotov.

- Y/N Put that thing down, now!

You looked at him, panicked, you really weren't expecting Kyle pointing at you with a gun. You threw the Molotov away, specifically to the security room and ran, Kyle was running behind you.

- Captain, evacuate everybody! There's fire!

- Copy! Soap, come with me, Ghost do you have visibility?

- on the way!

- Good visibility, the target it's running to the roof, I request permission to shoot.

- Do it if it's necessary, Gaz, go for the target, we don't want to hurt or kill it!

- Copy!

You ran and opened the door, you locked it with the first object you saw close to you, and as your boss promised, a parachute was waiting for you, you were putting it on you when you heard someone trying to open the door, you were distracted looking at the door when a Bullet passed close enough to your cheek, cutting you.

«Y/N! Open the fuckin' door, they will shoot you, I can protect you, open it, let's talk about this! For the old times!»

- I'm so sorry Kyle, this is my Job and is more important than what happened in the past.

Bullets were running in every direction, they didn't want to hurt you, but you know if you stay and don't complete the task, you will be dead before the sunset.

«Y/N! Please! We can fix this! Do it, for that last summer kiss!»

You were now ready to jump... Kyle opened the door, now he's in front of you, you stopped, for a second that memory of your kiss popped up, a thousand of "what if" invaded you, you considered to stay, two other men appeared behind Kyle. No, you will not lose your head just for an old summer love, the sirens of the fire truck, alarms, and the ringtone of your phone brought you back.

- Bye, Kyle Garrick.

You simply jumped, Kyle ran trying to catch you, but the only thing he did, was see your parachute opening and taking you away. Price and Soap appeared at his side, now all of them are watching you landing not so far, you're running trying to lose yourself in the traffic.

- won't go further, let's go guys!

Kyle didn't even know how he went back to the streets, one second he was on the roof and the next one he was running on the streets looking for you, the world was spinning faster, how could you? Kyle was feeling sick, his friend from childhood and teenage years was now a criminal, his first love, was now escaping from him.

[number1rizgukgakstan]

FANTASY HIGH JUNIOR YEAR FINALE PART 2 LIVEBLOG: SPOILERS AHEAD

ITS GAME TIME BABY! :D I'm so ready for this. LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO

Spoilers Under The Cut!

GOD their outfits are so fucking cool. I love their bullying of Brennan. it's so great I love it. I CANT BELIEVE THEY DIDNT TELL HIM thats so funny.

"I spent 217 dollars at Hot Topic" Real for that Siobhan.

I would have KILLED for Brennan in Emo Kid Clothes but alas. Some other time.

FABIAN'S ABOUT TO DO THE COOLEST FUCKING THING :DDD

MIRRORS??? MIRRORS?? ROMAENCE PARTNER APPEARANCE MAYBE??? MAYBE??? MAYBE??? It'd be so funny

That dice span for SO FUCKING LONG oh my god. The dice are FEELING IT today.

Fabian pushing Jace into the lava is maybe the funniest use of Brennan's own fucking encounter design against him. I love it.

18 D10???? EIGHTEEN??? INSANE.

"I served Rueben up a plate of redemption arc and he fucking cast a ninth level spell on it" is great.

"AHHH I SHOULD HAVE STUDIED A LITTLE BIT" beautiful final words for the duplicate

Ohhhh Jace is being HIVE-MINDED. He's just a minion. Damn.

WAIT. SO ONCE THE RAGESTARS ARE GONE, THEY COULD PROBABLY BE SAVED RIGHT??? Ratgrinders might get to go away, maybe?

Oh god if Kristen gets rage-starred they're seriously fucked,,, thank god it didn't happen.

MAZEY NOOOOOOOO.

"I mean I don't Hate it" NOT THE TIME FABIAN

They're already two people down [sobs]

OH MY GOD PORTER REALLY FUCKING HATES GORGUG HOLY SHIT. He's so fucking scary actually.

Oh god I'm so worried ANKARNA NOOOOOO

RIZ'S FUCKING PLAN IS INSANE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. Murph the GENIUS YOU ARE. The fact that it did ONE HUNDRED AND SIX DAMAGE is absurd.

"VERY GOOD ON PAPER BUT NO PRACTICAL APPLICATION" OUCH!

SHE'S NOT EVEN RAGE-STARRED??? SHE WAS DOING THIS WILLINGLY?? HOLY SHIT MOST COMPELLING VILLAIN EVER. SHE REALLY IS JUST THAT FULL OF HATE. #1 HATER. I LOVE IT.

Mary-Ann CHOOSING to take the damage is absurd. We stan a dedicated queen.

Oh god three people down is worrying. I'm sure they'll pull through.

ANOTHER CLUTCH SCATTER FROM ADAINE!

God, Brennan's homebrew spell coming back to bite him is SO funny.

GET FUCKED JACE YOU LITTLE BITCH!

ARTHUR AGUEFORT'S CONTINGENCY MEASURE IS SO FUNNY.

Killing KLCK fucking over Jace and Porter is incredibly funny. Turns out Rage does not make for Good Planning.

LOWEST INT BITCHES AS YOUR LEADERS IS SO FUNNY

"I really can't I tried" GOD jace is such a stupid fucking sorcerer I love him.

Jace failing to Bigby's Hand Adaine into the lava and then fighting with Porter is amazing. Peak. ANOTHER CLUTCH NAT 20 FOR GORGUG! The gym really is pulling things off for them.

"He just rolled a 4" in the most defeated voice ever is so fucking funny. This is what happens when half your villain party has shitty strength.

"eat this gizard and get the fuck up" God I love Brennan's random ass magic items. It's great.

"You might still be trapped in a Burning Elmville with a raging giant" So an average Tuesday in Solace?

Honoring the Cock and Getting a Nat 1- the Dimension 20 Way

Fig's tricky little Shatter is my favorite tactic in her toolbox. And her getting 40 damage of shatter is ABSURD, even if her rolling them one by one is nerve-wracking.

SIXTY-NINE FIRE DAMAGE :D

SO IF BUDDY COMES BACK HE JUST FUCKING DROPS STRAIGHT INTO THE LAVA??

BAKUR BABY!!!!!!! LET'S HOPE HE'S NOT EVIL!

He doesn't have his own mini so he's basically just That Guy

Bakur might choose to join either side so let's see :eyes eyes eyes:

GOD I love Fabian and his clutch rolls. BAKUR and ALLIES!

SQUEEEEEEEM!!! FUCK YEAH!! SQUEEM! AND HE BROUGHT THE CORTADOS. BALTHAZAR'S BACK!!!!! HOLY SHIT??? I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU BUT I LOVE YOU!

YOU GOT YOUR HEALS! GET A CORTADO AND JOIN THE PARTY SQUEEEEM!

Mary-Anne rolling a nat 1 is so funny i'm losing it. Clutch ass cutting words. The Hangman is winning!

Fabian and Mazey are SO cute. They deserve the fucking world. ITS ALL LOVE NOW!!!!

The value of protective anger,,,, the strength of love and light and the desire to combat those who would hurt the ones you love,,, Brennan Lee Mulligan you are a genius

ANOTHER K2 BLIMEY NAT 20??? THE DICE ARE THE REAL HEROES OF THIS STORY. It's fucking. It's so fucking funny. I'm literally crying.

Zac in the DM's seat again is making me laugh so hard.

Brennan actually packing up behind them is so funny. He's really committed to the bit.

"She's about to become a normal person" this is actually tragic when you think about it. Luckily, K2 is in a comedy show, so it's going to be funny instead.

"This spell is MEANT to be comedic" yeah it's literally a fucking snowman.

OH MY GOD. CASSANDRA MADE K2 A REAL PERSON???? HOLY SHIT THIS IS SOME PINOCCHIO LEVEL BULLSHIT IM ECSTATIC. OR LIKE, FROSTY THE SNOWMAN???

"Unsleeping City K2???" I WANT THIS

K2 is now a human cleric and she's fucking real. Holy shit she's fucking real.

GOD THE MOMENT WITH CASSANDRA AND BAKUR IS SO FUCKING COOL.

BALTHAZAR GOT FUCKING DISINTEGRATED [sobs] GOODBYE SWEET MAN WHO NEVER DOES ANYTHING. THE MOST CRINGEFAIL MAN EVER

Oh god the Bad Kids are fucking down again :sobs:

"We're just collecting Barbarians" I love that <3 Barbarians Only

Mazey is definitely an honorary bad kid <3 Epic crits and clutch heals for all!

Fabian and Gorgug have gone down SO MUCH. It's incredible how they keep fucking pulling themselves back up. They are truly living on the edge.

We're halfway through the episode and I am very excited and also a little nervous.

OH THANK GOD SANDRA LYNN'S FINE! :D It's also nice to see Lydia and Ragh! :D

I love how Fig immediately calls back to her mom to help. They're the family ever.

GOD Jawbone's full mini is so fucking cool.

BRENNAN YOU CAD WHERE'S AYDA???????

"All I have to do is be dead and I can roll anything" should be printed on a dice holder FOR SURE

THE FUCKING AGENT IS HERE??? IM LOSING IT

BAXTER IS FIGHTING PORTER??? OH MY GOD

Lydia's wheelchair sliding is actually so fun. I love Brennan taking into account wheelchair physics for his combat. It's always nice to see.

GORGUG HAS A FUCKING FLASHBANG?????? ONCE AGAIN GORGUG'S ABILITIES COME IN CLUTCH.

"is this Justice? Is this a New Dawn?" GOES SO FUCKING HARD???? ADAINE YOU ARE THE COOLEST

BAKUR BACK TO HIS HIGH ELF SELF!!!!

EVERYONE'S GETTING A DIVINE INTERVENTION????? HOLY SHIT.

HOLY SHIT FABIAN DID IT???? FUCK THATS SO COOL. FABIAN, A PROTECTOR, ALONGSIDE ADAINE. THEY ARE THE BEST FRIENDS!

Mazey and Fabian are so sweet. I want them to be in love forever do you hear me???? YOU HEAR ME???

"All the ways you've protected people is what makes you cool" GOD MAZEY GETS IT. FABIAN HAS SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE.

Ankarna, sitting in the bottomless pit; THAT BOY DESERVES TO BE WITH HIS FUCKING GIRLFRIEND. LET ME RISE UP!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHH ANKARNA LIVES. SHE FUCKING SLAYS!!! SHE SLAYYYYYYYYYS

Jace getting fucking arrested is the funniest ending for a villain in this show. ITS NOT EVEN THE REAL JACE.

"I WAS HILDA HILDA THE WHOLE TIME!" EMILY THE COMEDIAN THAT YOU ARE!

God this battle was so cool it really did a lot for the Bad Kids as characters.

All of the scenes in the ether were SO GOOD. They really show how strong they've grown, and the strengths of their heart. Their desire to look ahead is built into them, and I love it.

"rebellion without a new dawn to look forward to is just cynical"

"where's the fucking cat" KRISTEN YOU'RE SO FUCKING FUNNY

SQUEEM AND BALTHAZAR HUNTING KALINA IS GREAT

"bring back everyone but Kipperlilly"

"No, just Mary-Ann"

The Bad Kids are great, Funniest people ever, 10/10

"Juicy God Gossip" is such a funny line. Another t-shirt I want.

GOD DAMN IT ARTHUR AGUEFORT WHY ARE YOU JUST NOW SHOWING UP

FORGIVEN, HE BROUGHT AYDA BACK, WE ARE WELL. God their reunion was perfect it was so sweet. And Adaine and Ayda also had a really good moment.

Arthur Aguefort is the single funniest character Brennan has ever written.

Kristen Applebees is going to be the president! HOLY SHIT!

YOLANDA AND LUCY ARE BACK!!!! I LOVE THEM!!!

RATGRINDERS REDEMPTION ARC!!! So they were ALL just possessed. This is a good ending.

Oisin and Ivy should hopefully have a terrible senior year :3

Mary-Ann is so funny and earnest and sweet and I seriously love her. I hope she has a wonderful senior year and nothing bad ever happens to her ever again. ENEMIES TO LOVERS GORGUG AND MARY-ANN WAS NOT ON MY BINGO CARD

Is Gorgug's type just barbarians who can kill him????

GOD all of them are so fucking funny.

Kristen as a Pantheon Type Cleric makes SO MUCH SENSE!!!

Riz switching to tea and embracing change is beautiful. He's so fucking strong. "whatever you choose to do, you're going to be good at it" I love his relationship with his mom so much.

Adaine's mom is being a little bastard in the Nightmare Forest? That's going to be fun to follow up on if they ever do.

"i'd take them to get you" made me SOB. They're THE SISTERS EVER.

"we know what its for, we don't have to talk about it, it wasn't great" IS SO FUCKING FUNNY. Realest teenager moment ever.

HIS MOM SHOWS UP??? CRYING LAUGHING

HOLY SHIT FABIAN'S GRANDAD IS BACK!!

FABIAN's MOM IS ACTUALLY PREGNANT [screaming] THATS SO FUNNY

HIS INFANT SIBLING IS LITERALLY THE NEWEST NEMESIS IM CRYING

"Do you ever talk to Jawbone about any of this?" Mazey's gonna learn her new boyfriend has NO CHILL.

FOUR GOD PANTHEON???? That's going to be SO FUN!!!

Tracker and her girlfriend broke up I'm losing it.

GERTIE DECLARED KRISTEN HER NEMESIS I'm SCREAMING thats so funny. I mean it was intensely funny. It is a bit fucked up she led Gertie on, but that's teenagers for you.

GORGUG AND FIG ARE SO SWEET I'M SOBBING. GORGUG'S GIFTS ARE ADORABLE. THEY ARE THE BEST FRIENDS EVER.

The Thistlesprings are the Most Adoring Parents Ever I love them so much. PROFESSOR THISTLESPRING ARC???? I REALLY HOPE THAT HAPPENS.

"maybe next year i'll be the bad guy?" ARTHUR AGUEFORT I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD.

AYDA AND FIG MOMENT. I LOVE HOW INTENSE AYDA IS. THE GIRLFRIENDS EVER.

Oh my god the Complicated Women Podcast I'm screaming. I love how Sandra Lynn talks about it.

Fig's going to be SUCH a good big sister. Hopefully Fig can help Fabian handle things.

GOD the Hunter's Mark from Sandra Lynn to make sure she can always find her daughter is so sweet. They're the cutest ever.

"Maybe she can just trust that they'll be friends outside of school" GOD I LOVE THAT. Fig is THE BARD EVER.

THE AUTOMATONS HUNTING FIG IS SO FUNNY.

Ayda connected the Bottomless Pit with Leviathin and I'm just sobbing. Her point about learning was so strong and brilliant I love it.

"it's hot tub time!" - GOD THATS SO FUNNY

OH MY GOD BAKARATH IS REAL???? AND KALINA???? THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY. IS BAKARATH GOING TO BE THE FINAL BOSS OF A FUTURE SEASON???

That ending was amazing and I had such a good time. It's bittersweet, but I'm happy I was here. GO BAD KIDS!!

[thedauntlessduck]

Band of Brothers Characters as interactions between me and a friend

Winters: I want you in my group because you're smart and know what the fuck to do and get it done, unlike the other idiots

Nixon: Wake me up when it's lunch

Welsh: I got two letters in the mail today from my babe and I'm so excited

Speirs: *I dared her to throw her full orange juice bottle at me* *throws it at me across the table during history class and it hits me in the arm* Don't dare me to do something cause I'll fucking do it.

Sobel: *drawing a picture for an assignment in history class* look at my little tanks *holds picture up proudly and smiles*

Compton: *takes my aviator sunglasses off my face and puts them on hers* I look like a cop. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

Dike: I'm going to take a nap so if anyone asks questions... you know.

Lipton: *after finding out I don't feel good* Oh my poor child. *starts petting my head*

Malarkey: *takes my review sheet out of my hand while I'm finishing it and starts copying down my answers*

Martin: Listen here you flatchested fucker. This isn't fair and I'm gonna complain about it

Guarnere: I once crashed a motorscooter and cut my knee open wide. It definitely needed stitches but I didn't tell my parents, I just bandaged it up and let it heal on its own.

Randleman: you're alright, kid. *punches my arm a little too hard*

Powers: *finds out my computer is touch screen and starts tapping around and opening tabs, which unintentionally prevented me from working on a paper* Oh jeez, I'm sorry. I got a little too excited.

Talbert: *starts tipping my chair back in the middle of class* *struggles to set me back up right and panics* *drops my chair to the ground with me now lying on the floor*

Toye: I have rings on all of my fingers on my right hand so I can do more damage when I need to punch someone

Luz: *I'm having an asthma attack* Holy shit, please don't die *me afterwards: i felt my soul leave my body* Jesus, I bet that's what it's like to be choked by Darth Vader.

Muck: Get over here you fucker, I need you to tell me how the hell to spell aeronautics.

Perconte: Don't let the fuckers steal my chocolate milks. Guard it with your life. Your. life.

Roe: *seeing me eyeing the coleslaw on her plate* Well if you want it, just say so, damn.

Liebgott: *after her food got hit by a ball and strewn all over the table* You little fucker, you're just gonna laugh at me? Why didn't you warn me, goddammit?

Webster: You're my partner whether you like it or not. So you better just start loving me.

Heffron: I hope you don't mind because I can't fucking spell.

[missrpmemes]

Shit my friends have said but they're ask memes

"There's no way I can answer that without incriminating myself. I plead the fifth"

"I may be spiritual, but these hands are physical and you can catch 'em for free"

"Your pants scream "I have a small dick"

"Some advice: become religious and pray to literally anything for help"

"You've made the critical mistake of "watch this"

"2 million dollars and we don't have a can opener?!"

"Look at him, isn't he so cute? I used to beat him up"

"I'm like doordash but for morphine"

"I can't see, turn up the volume"

"It's like if they were a stripper, and they were a gorilla. And it's great"

"Mean and gay are two of my best qualities"

"Day 1 of trying to convince my friend to fight a bear"

"I mean, if you're unemployed and unendowed, write a cookbook"

"Dabbing is a privilege, not a right"

"Yeah, that's true. People who get into situations like that are probably the same people who cross the street without looking"

"I'm going to break in to their house and move everything slightly to the left"

"________ once insulted me by saying "I hope your tombstone is written in comic sans" and I don't think i've ever recovered"

"________ is playing golf the way god intended”

"The rules of the road are for NPC's"

"Traumatic brain damage! Part of a balanced breakfast."

“A hex upon thy house! It’s called a lawsuit!”

“If there’s a clown in my bed right now I’m killing you myself”

"Our father, who art in heaven, baja be thy blast"

"The Holy Trinity of Cooking: Air Fryer, Rice Cooker, Microwave."

“Alright, I’ve powered up a little bit. Lets go ruin that old man’s day”

"Tiddies does not excuse war crimes, _________"

"Any dick is detachable if you try hard enough"

"Goddamn. How long has it been since I destroyed Brazil, and people still consider me a warmonger? Like. Goddamn. Get over it."

"I'm too pretty to know how to do this"

"If it quacks like a duck, it's probably a witch"

“I love being right and correct and sexy”

“I can read but u have to spell it with an Australian accent”

"I give a pass to the murderer-- I draw the line at the capitalist"

"I'm not saying I could fix him, but I could fuck him"

“I drink Diet Coke, I fear no rice”

"We have a lot to do in church today! First: we ritually sacrifice Sonic."

[rbkzz]

Inktober is happening and I don't know what the prompt is and I'm not actually doing it.

But here are Watford era snowbaz in ink because I have an all day seminar today and I can only listen while doodling.

I initially just had a hankering to draw Baz (who apparently decided his first teenage facial hair attempt would be a soul patch. A questionable choice, but I think he pulls it off).

Then I decided I had to add Simon. And of course that lovable f*ucker had to steal the show as always. Look at him having *colour* and shit. Damnit Simon!!

What are they arguing about? Who knows. Maybe Simon's like "dude I hate you I know you're a f*cking vampire I can see your damn fangs stop denying it you're totally gaslighting me how dumb do you think I am don't answer that shit wait your fangs are actually really hot can you eat with those they look super sharp can I touch em how much blood do you need are you looking for a donor because I think I have a lot of extra blood like I'm always hot and sweating and blushing and stuff so like I'm sure I could spare a pint or two but only if you wanna try I bet my blood would taste like buttered scones since that's the main component of my diet and I could probably start eating extra if you need blood like every day so I could keep my strength up but like how does this even work should I go wash my neck do you wanna try right now because I don't really have any plans this evening so if you're free and like your fangs are right there and and holy shit they're like glinting how do you keep your teeth so white I bet you've never had a cavity in your life can you even go to a normal dentist or do they notice your fangs how do you get your plaque scraped if you can't go to a dentist is there a spell for that there probably is and nobody ever told me not that I would try it on myself my teeth would probably all fall out if I did but I bet I could ask Penny to do it for me or maybe you could because if I start giving you my blood which I'm totally down for anytime then maybe you'd have more energy and wanna do nice things for me so if you want my neck is right here and like I'm totally not pressuring you but please bite me I feel like I'm gonna go off your fangs Baz your damn fangs are doing things to me and I can't...."

[zombiecicada]

Flare: day four of sticking my dad’s things to the ceiling. Today, the tv remote.

Flare: to everyone saying I should stick myself to the ceiling, it has to be something he would actually look for.

-

Flare, finger gunning: you can’t spell autism without ‘u’ and ‘i’!

-

Flare: alone on a Friday night? God, you’re pathetic.

-

Flare: the devil whispered in my ear “you’re not strong enough to withstand the storm.”

Flare: I whispered back “at least I didn’t lose my golden fiddle to some hillbilly from Georgia.”

-

Some kidnapper: I’ve invited you here because I crave the deadliest game...

Flare, calmly nodding: Knife Monopoly.

The kidnapper: I was actually going to play Russian roulette, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife Monopoly is.

-

Flare: I love French’s version of ADHD, it’s TADA. Sorry I can’t sit still, TADA.

-

Flare: yeah, I suppose I could be more mature and responsible.

Flare: but the truth is, the amount of serotonin I get from being a rational person pales in comparison to being an ✨unhinged disaster✨

-

Flare: I don’t have road rage. I have road revenge. I’m gonna follow this guy who just cut me off home and post his house for open house every weekend for the rest of the year.

-

Flare: this might sting a little.

*chucks an entire box of bees at someone*

-

Flare: You’re talking a lot of crap for someone with a perfectly flammable house.

-

Flare: I am real tempted to fill one of my pockets with glitter, and then whenever someone says something painfully dumb I can reach into my pocket with a deadpan expression and release upon them a shower of glitter over their head like a baptism of stupid.

-

Flare: if being cool was a crime, I’d be in jail.

Flare: not because I’m cool, but because I mauled someone!

-

Flare: someone made my best friend cry, do da do da!

Flare, grabbing a shovel: that someone is gonna die, oh do da da day!

-

Flare: I now identify as a threat. My pronouns are now try/me.

-

Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Flare*

Flare: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

-

Flare: The next time you’re mad at someone, don’t see something mean or shitty! Just remind them that it only takes 20 CCs of air injected directly into a main artery for their heart to spasm, skip a few beats, and die.

Flare:

Flare: oh and make sure to make direct eye contact!

-

Flare: *spins around in chair ominously* I’ve been expecting y- *chair continues to spin* shit *tries to stop spinning* shit *tries to grab a table to stop spinning* sHIT *falls out of chair*

-

Flare: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.

-

Flare: Pros and cons of dating me.

Flare: Pros. You'll be the cute one.

Flare: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

[hel-phoenyx]

31) Will you marry me ? (bonus prompt)

Lubell and Ether belong to @noa-de-cajou, War, Ragnvindr, Chiara, Desire, Nru to @corneille-but-not-the-author, and Agathe to @thal-ent

A lot of other characters (mentioned) belong to them and @soupedepates too

I've thought long and hard about this for a while.

My rings are heavy on my fingers, but light on my pocket. I have run through every law text, every little nook and cranny of our holy book, finding nothing that can stop me ; I am after all Queen and Queen's word is law. Even if the Queen is no longer the Creator's herald and descendant.

However, I know what I'm about to do is going to create a rift in the kingdom. Lamia warned me countless times. Heirs won't like that, thinking I'm shitting on their traditions ; the church won't like that, thinking I am destroying the sanctity of union. Even the people may not enjoy it, because the Queen ? Taking not only a concubine while married, but a second spouse ?

Oh the blasphemy.

I have heard her words and all of them are wise. I have to prepare myself for a thunderstorm, maybe a national outrage. It may be the cause of an unrest, even though I am quite popular. I should wait for a better time.

But I want this now.

How long are we gonna live ?

I'm sat at my desk, my daughter looking at me. She thinks I'm a fool, and I wouldn't disagree with her. She's always been more cunning than I am. Yet she didn't say no to what I am about to do.

"Lamia, can you take care of something from me ?"

She rolls her eyes.

"Yes, I can do your paperwork for today. But I'll have you remember that contrary to you, I have no experience dealing with the people. Be quick."

I am aware. This is precisely the reason why I let her go to that apprenticeship with Faloi, as much as I hated the idea. She's leaving in a few days. I have so little time with her.

I nod.

"That won't take too long."

"Hope so, mom. I know dad. Also I have ears."

Sigh. Damn the gods hor having her inherit her father's earsight. I can't hide anything from her even if I try very hard. I had to insonorize my room but the more she grows up and the more she's aware her father and I love each other in many ways.

She throws a sarcastic smile in my direction before sitting down in my place, and shooing me away with absolutely no respect. I've never been a Queen for her, only a mother. This suits me perfectly.

I want a child, not a heir.

I get out, walk to my room. Sun is setting, Baku should be out of his office by now, and Chiara probably stopped training for the day to join him in the bedroom. I know I'm not interrupting anything, because Lamia would have told me so.

When I reach my room, slightly opened so the insonorisation spell doesn't work anymore, I hear two voices. Probably talking about something she saw in the streets and was curious about.

I don't need to knock. This is my room, after all, and I'm never interrupting anything. Yet, Baku and Chiara raise eyebrows, surprised to find me here, apparently. What, like I don't know you're squatting the queen's bechambers while she's not here ? The things I saw you two do on my bed, I swear.

Their guilty cat expressions are adorable.

"Lina, I didn't know you would get back so early..."

Baku is scratching his head, like he always does when he's embarrased. His cheeks are rosy, and it's probably not helping Chiara litteraly climbed him, arms around his neck and legs squeezing his waist from behind. She looks like a sloth like this. A sloth with big, shining doe eyes.

I never was so sure I wanted this.

"Yeah, I let Lamia take care of things for a while. There is something I wanted to ask both of you, actually."

Protocole in the divine Mandate often asks for the two people to be alone, when the question is thrown. Because love is something to be hidden, a secret, an intimate confession. But judging the situation, I wouldn't want to exclude any of them from this conversation.

My hand takes Chiara's, while the other reach a little box in my pocket, where lies an intricate dagger.

I've never been one to follow traditions, but this one I'll keep.

The other dagger I own is sitting on my desk, surrounded by our wedding ribbon. I didn't expect to receive another, but I'm fine with it. It's my turn to give, after all.

"I have thought about this for a long time, and figured out I needed to ask you this. Feel free to refuse, I won't blame you..."

After all, one of the reasons I've fallen in love with her is that she was free of all bonds of life.

I pull out the dagger and Baku's eyes widen. Chiara still looks surprised. She didn't know about the tradition, I suppose.

"But Chiara, will you marry me ?"

She blinks. Once. Twice.

Her eyes are round with something I hope is astonishment. Still on Baku's back, but not holding him as tight anymore. Her hand is still in mine, open. I'm waiting for her answer before I give her that dagger.

Baku is the first one to recover from the surprise.

He smiles.

"Well, for what its worth, I was planning to ask you, too. But it looks like Lina beat me to it."

My smile is a little too victorious for what it's worth. But Baku doesn't seem to mind. He just laughs.

"Maybe not the best time to ask this considering Lina just did an official proposal but I'd like to add myself to the roster. Chiara, will you marry u-"

"Yes !!!!"

She shouts with the enthousiasm of a little kid, a smile even wider than before on her lips. The smile she still holds when she takes the dagger, put it in her belt, and pull my hand towards her. The smile she uses to kiss me with laughing lost in my mouth.

I, too, am smiling.

***

The window is opened and spring winds cool down my room, bringing with them the smell of flowers and pollen.

Never been one to enjoy nature, but I have to admit the castle gardens, that I can see from here, do look like a fine scenery, especially at this moment of the year. A perfect atmosphere for my plans.

It's been years. I had a child far before I started thinking about thah. I had many reasons, of course, but Jiro is eight, now, and just a little bit younger than my relationship. Maybe it's time I go to the next level.

Why did I not, until then ? I suppose I was afraid. Afraid I didn't love her enough; Afraid he would come back and everything would crumble. Afraid, as I am now, that he would hurt her for the crime of being with me.

None of those considerations matter now. I still have that bad feeling, that hint of fear every time I see him in the corridors, but he's harmless, even if still grumpy. Well, can't blame him, memory loss can't suppress the pain of degenerating.

My door opens, and there she is, exhausted but smiling. She smiles way more now. After Lina's coronation she was always gloomy and unassuming ; how that discrete girl grew into an assertive, determined woman always astonishes me. I've fallen in love with that resolve, and her smile and her open hand.

I know she is the one I wanna give that ring to.

I've hesitated a long time. Do I follow Mandate's traditions or Death's ? Nru, who is closing the door carefully now, is Inkan, after all. She may not understand what I want to tell her if I go the Mandate way, and I don't know much about Death's way of courting. So I went back to age-old traditions, dating from the time Ink was still Paper and our continent didn't exist.

The ring is warm in my pocket, but I don't pull it out yet. I just smile.

"Hello, my dear. Did you have a good day ?"

"Tiring ! A necromancer sect was giving difficulties to Lina, I had to intervene for good. Sorry, I am covered in bone dust..."

"I don't mind. Sit down, I'll make you a bath."

"But-"

"No buts, Nru, my dear. You need to rest."

It would have been a time she would protest, say she isn't tired, she could still go on and hey, she should run me a bath and not the contrary, but today is not that time. She just sighs and sit down on the couch, while I go to the bathroom and activate the water warming system. Magic does wonders in the palace.

Bath won't be ready for a while, so I come back to the room and sit next to her. Her forehead feels so soft when I kiss it, even with the rebel hair everywhere. It's a little sweaty. I guess she did have a tiring day.

She leans on my shoulder and I smile again.

"Feeling better ?"

"Yes. sorry again for the bone dust..."

"I told you I don't mind."

And I don't. She's beautiful even tired and dirty. Even though I prefer her in a good shape.

I won't get any best time for this.

"Say, Nru, I have something to ask of you."

"Ask away ?"

Still smiling, I pull out the box from my pocket.

"Will you make me the happiest woman alive and join me in life until death do us part ?"

The box opens on a beautiful ring. ornamented with black roses, obsidian and amethyst. The colors complimenting her hair and those so pretty purple eyes now widening in shock.

It doesn't last for long, though. Because on her face shock lets happiness take its place.

"Yes, yes, of course I will !"

I take her hand, put the ring on her fingers, and she's laughing, I'm laughing, we're both laughing. Yet I've never laughed harder than when she raised her head, with a teasing smile, and kissed the bottom of my jaw.

"But I won't lie to you, you should have better hidden the box if you wanted to surprise me. Though it's not a bad thing. I would have fainted of shock right in front of you, that would have been unsightly."

Lucifer be damned, I love that woman.

***

A cat is laying at my feet, while I am waiting in those plains in the Gaikamshigtai territories, waiting for something that doesn't happen often.

Since she became War, I never see her anymore. Or, not as often as I wanted to. She's a goddess now, she has work to do, and I have work to do, too, as Greater Archbishop of the Silent Moon and Moon's Avatar ; She comes see me often, in between the duties, our duties, but it's so little.

I miss my love. People told me when I took my functions that a religion leader only should love her god, but she is my goddess, in more ways than one. My love, my life, my treasure, everything I've ever asked for while I was trapped in the Silent Moon. My first real friend, my angel, my everything.

And I know Moon doesn't mind, anyway. My loyalty is his since he saved my live, at my birth, and gave me a life I would be proud of, and he set us up, so at this point.

The cat is rolling at my feet, asking for scratches. I just squint my eyes.

Moon, I know it's you. Stop acting like I can't recognize you.

The cat meows. I roll my eyes.

Stop playing. I am your Avatar, for your sake, I litteraly communicate with you through telepathy.

It opens its eyes. Redder than blood itself, redder than the Carnage. A red people never saw on any cat, a red of divine nature. I know for a fact they hate that red. But changing the very nature of a Word is painful enough to make them stop at the tiniest details. Forsaking their human form is already a lot.

Those red eyes are now directly looking in mine.

Worth a shot.

You are a fucking menace.

To you, maybe.

It's a strange relationship we have, for a god and his worshipper. I am not afraid of them and they never made themselves terrifying. I have my own family, a family I wanted to join so badly when I was younger, a family that was never the Silent Temple ; somehow, they became another parent in the process.

Feeling sentimental, Selene ?

They're spying my thoughts again. It's annoying.

Well, as you signaled, you are my Avatar. I can't help it.

Get out of my head.

I'm saving all of my ressources for when you meet your girlfriend again. You have a tendency to broadcast your thoughts when she put her hands on you.

Bitch-

Come now, you're not my first Avatar with problems to control your sexual urges. I'm used to it.

I'm not, you peeping fucker.

That comes with the eternal life, black magic control and godly powers, kid.

I roll my eyes. they're right, the moment they leave my body and I will have to either learn to control my condition by myself or die trying. I have powerful powers without their help, but they destroy me. He saved my life not only by providing me energy, but by stabilizing my body.

I know they could leave any minute. They told me about their previous Avatar, Ahelm, a woman that couldn't be furthest from me but with who I empathise, in a way. They left her a bit before my birth, and now she has to live a life of a mortal loving a goddess.

Like me.

But unlike me, death will forever do them part.

i'm still waiting. The fighting is over, and the challenger died, so there's no ritual to be spoken of, why is she not here-

I hear footsteps the moment I think those words and there she is, running towards me. Two meters and fifty centimeters tall, I don't even reach her chest, running with the strenght of a million me, same strenght running in her blood, her Carnage. For so many people she is War incarnate, bloodshed and violence, but I do remember the teen holding my hand, the unassuming eyes of the girl from the people so unsure in a royal setting, the tiny smile when I told her I loved her for the first time.

Our kisses, our fight, and the final words of the mortal before she became a goddess.

"Will you still love me ?"

I will. I will. Forever and ever.

I let Moon here and run, too. I run towards her, smile wide, tears in my eyes; We haven't seen each other in so long. It's been weeks and weeks are already too much. I want her arms, I want her laugh, I want everything.

I jump in her arms and she catches me, smiling, her only eye shining with joy and love and everything and gods I missed her. Her hands pull me closer, grip my cress like she forgot how my body feels like, like I could forget how hers was so warm.

I kiss her with the might of a god and she answers with the devotion of a mortal.

"I missed you... So, so much."

It's hard for me to talk, still, but those words have never been easier.

Welp, bye-bye, says a voice in my head. I need to watch over something that isn't here.

I ignore them. Kiss her again. Gods, she feels so soft under my lips.

War smiles in the kiss.

"I missed you too, Selene."

"I have so much to tell you."

"I do, too."

She's so beautiful when she smiles. I can't live my whole life away from that woman.

"Will you marry me ?"

I blurted out those words completely out of context, and she blinks, a little startled. I have to admit I didn't think much before talking. I don't even know if gods can marry mortals, especially mortals that follow a different religion.

But I've never been so serious.

I want to have her as my wife.

Maybe she, too, had the same doubts in mind. I can see it on how she hesitates, how her hands squeeze my body. But she doesn't take long before replacing the doubt by a smile, shining and mighty and godly and everything.

"As soon as I can, my love."

Gods, Creator, everything in the sky, I love that woman.

***

Do gods marry mortals ?

I thought about it for a long time. I am no longer mortal myself, I'm gonna live a long, long time, and it's all thanks to her, my love, the mother of my daughter, but still, I am no god.

I don't even know what you're supposed to do. How do you propose to a god ? How do you even tell a god that you wanna marry her ?

That's a lot of things to think about, and sadly I am the overthinker kind of guy. She's the only one that can make my mind blank for a second.

Well, by stimulating another part of my body that isn't my brain, but, still.

I wanna marry her. I've known for a long time. It would be stupid not to join our lives, after all we have a fucking child together. At that point a ring on her finger would be jewellery, and not another step. And I wanna show to the world how much I love her, how much she's incredible, that little lady with her smiles and laughs and way to put me to silence with only a slip of the fingers.

But I still ask myself

Do gods marry mortals ?

She enters the romm, lightly dressed, still cheeks rozy, still sweaty. It's hot, outside, and our activities don't help. Her lips extend to a smile seeing me awake on the bed.

"And I thought I would have tired you by now !"

"Me ? Tired ? Never. In fact, I am ready for five more days, at least."

I say while winking. People can say we're horndogs, a,d that we're putting the endurance standard a bit to high for simple mortals, but I don't care the slightest. That's the woman I love, and that's an activity we enjoy. Who cares about what people say.

Her eyes grow hungrier, but she doesn't jump on me like she would have. In place, she just sit down next to me, put a hand on my thigh.

"Or we could just talk, you know, without moaning included."

"Oh, I love your voice anyway."

I love everything in her. Mind, body, charm, little flaws that once annoyed me but now I find endearing. I don't love easily, that's for sure, but this one it's for my very, very long now life.

Yes, I want to marry her. And I don't care if gods can't marry mortals. She would, with the same ease she kill all my doubts. About having a child with her, living with her, surviving with her.

"But that's good, because I wanted to ask you something."

"What a coincidence ! I do, too !"

"Well, go first, in that case, dear."

"Oh, but I wanted to keep the surprise..."

We laugh for a bit, back-and-forthing like that for a while, but no matter how hard I try, I can't keep the suspense, she isn't bulging. So, admitting my defeat, I pull out the drawer of our nightstand, before getting the box containing my whole life.

Before turning around and burst into laughing.

She has the exact same box in hand.

"Are you fucking kidding me, love ?!"

She looks at me. Looks at the box. Starts laughing too.

"Oh, by mother, don't tell me we had the same idea."

"Great minds think alike, huh ?"

She jumps into my arms, kiss me on the cheeks, boxes still on our hands.

"Sure we do. And yes, I will marry you, my big dumb idiot."

"Hey, com'on, Desire, I am not an idiot, I am a science genius !"

"That I can dumb down pretty quick when I have my mouth on his-"

"Don't finish that sentence or I throw you out of the bed."

She laughs, her teasing voice making my whole body ripple.

"My word, Mairù, you would throw your beloved fiancée out of her bed where she unraveled you so thouroughly ? You wound me, my dear, you wound me !"

"Well, if we're engaged, our bed now~"

"And I'm about to make you discover a whole new aspect of it-"

"Mom, dad, why are you making so much noise ? I can't sleep..."

Fuck. Carolyn. I forgot about my daughter for a moment, but that doesn't erase her from existence. Luckily, we didn't do anything, and my little menace is used to her parents hugging it out constantly.

Desire lets go of me, turns towards the door, where our toddler is standing, eyes heavy with sleep, her plushie in her hands. Before smiling at our little treasure.

"It's okay, Carolyn. Mom and dad are just loving each other."

"But you always love each other..."

"We do, we do," I smile while sitting down in a more comfortable position. And that's a good thing, you know. Something wrong, bunny ?"

She pouts.

"I had a nightmare... Can I sleep with you ?"

"Of course."

Too bad for the engagement sex, but we're not the only ones in this family. And since I am gonna be a husband, I also need to be a dad.

***

I'm not a big fan of weddings, usually.

I turned down Kaï for a reason. Many, in facts. I loved him, from the bottom of my heart I did. But he was mortal, and I was not ; he was king, and I was duchess. I didn't want another bond to tie him down to me, and rob him of his happiness while restraining mine.

Truth be told, I don't think I ever wanted to marry. It held little meaning to me, especially since in demons domains, marriage are often arranged. You sometimes end up loving each other, like Naberius and Meredith did, but more often than not you finish your lives like Ravil and his wife. My cousin, that doesn't skip a beat every time we see each other to tell me how much she despises him.

So, I wasn't sure about marriage, at first. Let time flow. And then Harue and the Spring Queen started talking about it, and I saw Ragnvindr's cheeks color in a slight red. His eyes were a splendid shade of yellow and red.

I guess he wants to marry Lubell, for what it's worth, he should. But now I wonder what about me. Would he want to marry me ? Would I want to ?

I had a long reflexion, around marriage. Talked about it with the Spring Queen, who told me wedding hold the significance I wanna give them. Then, with Katharinah, that told me she didn't like making things official but would consider me her wife anyway. I even asked Sinestri for her input.

She didn't told me much, but it was appreciated she at least didn't hit me for daring to replace her mother.

Now I am sat in front of the garden, tend to by the Queen. Her flowers are beautiful, like always ; she's looking at Harue helping her garden with Aravi, but her eyes sometimes gloss over me, throwing me an encouraging look.

Lubell and Ragnvindr are there too, sitting next to me. They're looking at each other more often than the garden, sometimes I feel like the third wheel, if their hands weren't holding mine tight. Ragnvindr's eyes are redder than ever, there is only love in those eyes.

They love each other, I knew it since a long time. I took a lot of time to accept they loved me, too. I am not used, despite my past, to have more than one love.

Yet the balance was found and today I only find happiness in their shared feelings.

I want to share something with them, too.

The Spring Queen is winking at me, before taking Aravi and Harue by the hands and bringing them somewhere else. Sly motherfucker. She set us up, I know it. And my two lovebirds don't even notice we are now alon in the garden.

I laugh a little, attracting Lubell's attention.

"Something's wrong, Myrrah ?"

"Oh, nothing. Just something on my mind."

"Would you tell us then ?" Asks Ragnvindr with glitter in his eyes.

I bring them both closer to me.

"I was just thinking about how much I love you."

She smiles. He smiles. I smile, too.

"Say, Rag', Lu', my loves, my treasure, I have something I wanted to ask you."

I see their eyebrows raised, I feel their arms around me, I feel loved, I feel loved, I feel loved.

I love them for the rest of eternity.

And I want to show them how much I do.

"What do you think about marrying me ?"

***

Ai and Ether's wedding was a sight to remember, and not only because the two official concubines left could enjoy some alone time afterwards, finally alone in the harem.

I know what they did, I have ears, good ears. Teach' told me they sometimes feel like a curse. Not gonna lie, that night, I got the curse of jealousy.

They taught me a lot about weddings. How they're not only to create children, to reproduce. How they could be against anyone that loved each other, even people of the same gender. How they're a demonstration of love to everyone that can see.

Weddings are not forced, weddings are pretty, wedding can be controversial, but what's more important is that the spouses always laugh at a wedding. That's what Agathe told me.

She's lying down next to me, I'm preening her wings. Full moon is close, I feel cranky, and I know she can feel it, but she wanted me there, so I stay there. Her little chanting is calming me down, anyway. Her voice is so pretty when she sings melodies from her homeland, almost as pretty than when she tells me I did good, I am good, I am loved.

Only thing covering her skin is a transparent dress, one of mine. She stole it from my wardrobe and had the gall to act innocent when I called her out about this. I know she knows the clothing is too big for her, that she went into my stuff on purpose. Yet she looks so pretty, like this.

"How are you feeling, Agathe ?"

"I could ask you the same, says my beloved with a soft voice while lifting her head. You're the one affected by the moon, not me."

She's right, but I still want her to feel good. That's the reason why I still hasn't fallen asleep. I want to watch her as she's loosening her guard, watch as she put her life between my hands, as she knows I won't ever hurt her.

She's the first one that ever fell asleep before me. After caressing my body like I was a work of art, and not a weapon to forge. Like I deserve softness instead of violence.

I wonder sometimes if the blindness made her ignore she had in front of her a monster. But who in their right minds would touch a monster, kiss a monster, let her body in the care of a monster ?

Everytime her hands run through my scars it looks like she's worshipping them.

I lay down next to her, and she pulls me towards her. her wings envelopping us like a cocoon of safety.

"Shouldn't we sleep ?"

"Let's wait for Ether first. She wanted to see you."

Ether. Right. I wonder what she had in mind. It's not a lot of time since, listening to my damn Archbishop, she tried to propose to me the way she told her too. With bones. Selene always had a weird sense of humor regarding customs and bones, I wonder why.

I appreciated the intent and told her yes, but after learning it wasn't how the Mandatians ask for a hand in marriage, she promised me she would make it right.

And then, nothing.

Not a peep, not a word.

I wonder what she's thinking about.

I guess I can wait for a little while longer, even though I feel more and more sleepy, and Agathe has those little movements of the head like she's trying not to fall asleep. Luckily, I don't have to wait for long. The doors of the harem open, and hurried footsteps signal me of Ether's presence.

"Sorry for the wait, I had... difficult patients at the office..."

"It is alright, love," Agathe smiles while opening her wings. "Come here, come here, we were just waiting for you."

Ether doesn't need any kind of persuasion. Quickly, she snuggles next to me, takes my hand in hers.

"Feeling better, Lycarn ?"

"Yes, thank you."

Her hand feels so warm in mine, so soft. It's calloused, like a doctor's is, and yet it runs like silk on my skin.

Her smile gets even softer.

"Well don't fall asleep just yet, because Agathe and I had something to ask of you."

"What is it ?"

Agathe smiles, and takes something from the pillows next to her. A box.

"I had to ask Baku for the customs, and he told me it is usual to offer a dagger, or a ring, for that kind of occasion. But both Ether and I felt like giving you a weapon would be in bad taste, so..."

"We had to resort to the other custom, the more universal one, Ether laughs while pulling her own box. Silent Moon doesn't have any for engagement itself, apparently. We'll make up for it later, promise."

Both boxes are opened before me. Holding each a ring shining under the harem's lights.

Their smiles shine brighter.

"Lycarn, they say at the same time. Will you marry me ?"

Tears run to my eyes.

Yes.

Yes I do.

[duckielover151]

The One Piece Diaries

Episode Count: 450

Holy shit, guys... I'm back. I took another several months-long hiatus from One Piece... Mostly unintentionally... (I've been bouncing between a lot of other fandoms these past few months but have been brought back by the live action.) Where to start...

We've been in Impel Down for most of the last 40 or so episodes since my last update post. And not to go off on a tangent, but you know... I've noticed One Piece lumped in as one of the shows that's swamped with filler. And that really hasn't been my experience so far.

What I have noticed is that, around this point, the pacing gets pretty atrocious. There's a lot that happens in the journey to try and break Ace out of Impel Down... But is there 40 episodes worth of stuff? I have to argue no. It gets to the point where the first third of the episode is all recap, and barely anything is actually getting accomplished each episode. So that is a little off-putting.

But! There is a lot of good to be found in this arc too!

Okay, admittedly... Buggy was never my favorite... (outside of some brilliantly written fanfiction by stereden on AO3) And I would have been content to never see Mr. 3 again... But it is really cool to meet back up with so many of the old villains who only met their downfall and ended up here because of Luffy and to have them be on our side now. Really puts into perspective the morality of it all. Luffy's always fighting for the right things... but in the eyes of the government and greater world, he's a villain as well.

I've finally met Jimbei... (Jinbe? Jinbei? I've seen all 3, but Crunchyroll's subtitles use the 'm' spelling, so that's what I'm going with.) I haven't seen a lot of him yet, but I like him so far. He's tough, clearly, but also almost goofily polite, in a way that really complements Luffy's general blunt insensitiveness. I think it's still a while before he joins up as the last member of the crew, but I'm looking forward to getting to know him better.

This arc makes it really clear how Bon Clay came to be as beloved in the fandom as he is. And there's a lot that could be said about Ivankov... A lot that would very quickly derail this update and which I'm not totally, personally qualified to weigh in on...

Listen, One Piece's portrayal of queerness isn't perfect. But it's a hell of a lot better than the way so many other shows handle it, especially given the time this aired. (The Impel Down arc was originally adapted throughout late 2009-early 2010. Frankly, the 90s often included more and better handled LGBT+ characters than the 2000s era anime did, up until pretty recently.) Just the fact alone that this group is so out and proud about it and undeniably allied with and wholeheartedly accepted by the main protagonist is a fucking statement all on its own. It's beautiful. I can't underplay that by nitpicking the places the representation fell short by today's standards in a storyline that's 15 years old now. (I know there's a lot of shit in the future that goes down with Sanji in particular... So I may have less generous things to say later, but that's where we stand right now.)

And as for the arc's villains... Magellan's okay. This last episode particularly, the venom demon attack was pretty badass. (That image of the mushrooming skulls as it formed it was so good.)

And Hannyabal... Okay, there were some early moments that made me laugh. The gag about how he's clearly lusting for the warden's job and not great about hiding it could be pretty funny. But by the time he's defeated... and the anime starts in on a dramatic backstory for this asshole, trying to make him sympathetic... All I could say was, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me...' I know it's kind of One Piece's thing to try and redeem everyone, but I was so bogged down by the pacing at that point... I did not have the patience for it. Good riddance to that dude in particular.

Episode 450 ends with our ragtag group officially making it out... And man, it's cool to see some of these older characters again, but I already miss our crew so much... Especially knowing what's coming...

I'm sure I've already mentioned that I know the bigger Marineford spoilers... But I'm still not sure I'm ready to see it firsthand.

Wish me luck.

[delta0003]

Egotober-25-grave

Part 3 of a glitch in the mirror

TW: homophobia,religious trauma, r@pe,and domestic violence, mentions of attempted suicide, suicidial thoughts

Chase woke up to the sound of his alarm going off and slammed his hand onto it. Getting out of bed Chase made himself coffee and went into his living looking at the mirror on the floor. Hm? Oh yea I took it down because of the person in the mirror heh heh man that was a funny dream. Chase lifted the towel off the mirror and hung it back on the wall. You know Chase, that was dick move. Chase dropped the mirror to the floor, surprised that the man was real and not a dream cracking the mirror. Holy shit you're real. Yea I’m real asshole and ow that hurts. Wait, that hurts? Yes because I’m  BOUND to mirror, remember of course I’m gonna feel it. 

Right- well-um I’ll get some glue and that should work? Right? How the hell should I know this has never happened before but go ahead and try,be my guest. Ok well Chase picks up the mirror taking it into the kitchen and plopping it down alright give me a minute to find it, I know it’s somewhere in here. There got it so…if you're bound to the mirror there has to be a way out right? Obviously but do you know a spellcaster? Hm i possibly know somebody but there a spiritual reader. Does that count? Wait wait, how do you know a spiritual reader since when? Well his name is Marvin, I bumped into him yesterday. I may have ruined his very expensive blouse. He made me buy him a new coffee and before I left he gave me his card. I can't leave you for a moment sunshine but somehow your little accident brought us a lead so thank you. Alright if you're so sure I could give him a ring Chase pick up his phone calling Marvin.

 Ring ring ri- hello this is marvin the magnificent how may I help you today. Hey Marvin is chas-CHASEY BOY how are you? Didn’t expect to hear from you so soon did you miss hearing my sweet voice already? No not really-hey listen I have this thing? I’m not quite sure what he is but he’s bound to my mirror and I need him out, sorry if it sounds far-fetched. No no not at all what it sounds like you have either an entity or a low level demon on your hands. Great, can you remove him from the mirror. Well yea I’ve done the spell a thousand times so it’s a piece of cake the only way it wouldn't be if it was damaged in any way. Erm well I dropped it when he spooked me but I put the piece back and now it looks like a fucked up upside down Y. Hm well I can still do the ritual I just need supplies to make it work. Supplies like what? Oh just goats blood,black candles,and sage but I have ⅔ ingredients, I just need the blood to bind the crack. O-oh blood sounds good heh. Yup and we need to do it over said entities' grave, if he’s buried in the state of America. Is he? Well I don’t know I’ll ask hey Anthony were you buried here? Yea I was buried in kosher county it’s three hours from here heading west. Welp marv did you hear that? Yup loud and clear the only problem is it’s fours hours away from me so I’m gonna have to go. Alright marv I’ll call off work today and I’ll start heading over myself, We'll meet at the entrance. Sound like a plan for you two? Yup. Yea I just wanna get out of here already. Alright Anthony give me five minutes to get ready then we’ll head out. Hm. 

*1 hour of driving later*

Say Chase, what's your story? What do you mean? I mean why are you here in the ass backwards of nowhere. Hm, it's a long story. I mean we have 2 hours left so tell me your story and then I’ll tell you mine. Why? Just making conversation is all. Well It started with my parents. I was a straight A student, always followed rules, never got into trouble, went to church every Sunday even my parents were your stereotypical construction manager and my mom was a stay at home mom but were also your stereotypical conservative marry a good woman they would say, have lots of children. 

But I remember when I started crushing on my friend Kevin. At first I thought these feelings were wrong but after two years of trying to ignore it I just couldn’t anymore and one day after church I asked Kevin to meet me in a secluded part of the church and I confessed to him granite he felt the same way. So I may have tried to kiss him in my excitement. I didn't notice my parents saw the whole thing. …it.. did not end well. My parents calmly took me home and as soon as the door was shut my mother started screaming at me how I was a disgusting person and that she didn’t want a kid like me so she started choking me but my dad intervened and told my mom to go back to the kitchen. 

I still remember the wine bottles she drank, the tears that she wept, the insistent praying for me to be normal. Then she came stumbling back to the living room saying she was gonna kill herself because I was a dirty boy kissing scumbag but my dad quickly got her to calm down and sleep then my dad told me to follow him and I did. We went into the backyard and he told me to put my fists up and fight him. I told him I wasn’t gonna fight him because I didn’t know how to fight but he didn’t like that answer so he just started wailing on me, kicking me, at one point he even threw me into the small pool we had. He held my head under the water. 

I was so close to passing out but he pulled me out before I did. In my 13 years of living I never once got so scared. He told me that if he ever caught me kissing another boy he would shoot me himself like a wild animal. I got the message loud and clear so I never spoke to Kevin again and if I did see him I avoided him like the plague. I also remember the day after that all happened I was so bruised that it hurt to breathe but I lived with the pain. Also after that I shut down emotionally for a long time. Until I meet Stacy, she was great and all but I only like her as a friend but my parents were over the moon I brought home a girl so I asked her out. Kinda thought to myself if I date her long enough I’ll eventually fall in love with her and I did but it did happen until the wedding. Don’t get me wrong she was very beautiful in that dress but all I wanted to do was run away from it all. 

But I married her anyways heh we celebrated until 3 in the morning by that point we called it quits for the night and all I wanted to do was sleep but…Stacy had other plans. She wanted to ”do it” you know but I refused saying I was too tired and that it was late but she didn’t take no for an answer saying it was a man’s job to pleasure her and that I owed her this she also started lightly choking me. It wasn't enough to cut off my breathing but enough her nails started to cut into my throat so I reluctantly agreed and we did it. I don’t think I ever felt so hollow before and I shut down again and then it got to the point where I sneaked out of bed and huddled myself under the warm water to try and get the feeling off of me. I also broke down crying for three hours straight because it just felt so wrong. I felt disgusting and I wanted to kill myself but I didn’t. 

I got out, dried myself off, crawled back into bed and practically slept huddled back to her on the edge of the bed kind of way. I only got an hour of sleep because I was so paranoid she was gonna do it again. The next morning wasn’t great either with my dead look and her happy expression it wasn’t hard to see what went on and everyone was so happy for us saying man I knew Chase was a dog and that I must have taken her to town and back so much I didn’t get any sleep or happy wife, happy life am I right? But I wasn’t happy at all. I wanted to push and scream at people but I didn't. I held my tongue and quietly nodded the whole time just mentally checking myself out that I don’t remember the drive back to my parents place so we could get a family picture together because they couldn’t make it. I don’t even remember the drive back to the small one floor house me and Stacy bought no matter how much I try to remember but it went on like that for ten years every time she demanded that I would mentally check out then sit under the water for an hour or 2. One day while we were in the middle of it she said to me Chase I want a baby and I actually stopped for a minute to comprehend what she said and she took it as an excuse to get rid of the condom, flip me on my back, and got at it again.

 I tried to stop her saying I wasn’t ready, that we weren’t financially stable enough for it but she ignored me so I tried to physically stop her but she slapped me so hard I was seeing spots in my vision for a couple of minutes that I didn��t realize well you know how babies are made no need to explain further…after it was all said and done I started working for extra hours or I just didn’t go home for hours on end going for walks just doing something so I wasn’t near her for 8 months then I get a call from the front desk at my job statin gn that she went into labor and was having the baby so being the good husband that I am rushed to her side and tried to comfort her but she kept yelling at me that it was my fault and that I did this to her. I just shut my mouth and kept holding her hand until I heard my son’s wailing the doctor congratulated me on the baby boy, Stacey go to hold him and I just sat there for a while staring into nothing wishing I was somewhere else. 

She didn’t even ask me what I wanted to name the kid; she just did it herself. She named him Kristen Mathew Brody and we took him home after a week, I did everything for stace until she healed enough to move on her own I tried to pick him up and hold him for as long as I could but I felt gross holding him but I pushed down those feelings because he didn’t ask to be born and I didn’t want to be like my dad with him. He deserved to have a dad who would love and hold him regardless, unconditional. Hm I remember one night I got back from working a 16 hour shift I quietly walked in and undressed, made sure to take a shower and climbed into bed. I only got 5 minutes of sleep before he started wailing. So I got out of bed and held him quietly, shushing him telling him everything alright dads here and all that stuff but I somehow woke Stacey up and she wasn’t happy about it. 

She started screaming and it was making Kris cry even worse. I said to her in a calm voice, "Please don’t scream your making Kris’s crying worse so I turned my back to her and consoled Kris. I didn’t hear her pick up the ceramic lamp we had and throw it at my back. It made contact and all I felt was pain so I collapsed to my knees making sure not to cry or fall onto Kris but the noise made Kris start crying and this time worse. So I rushed myself to the hospital with a screaming baby. I had to get 15 stitches in my back while holding him in my arms after they did a quick check up on him. They asked how it happened and I told them that I fell backwards while taking care of him so the doctor told me that I was irresponsible for doing that. I couldnt tell the truth anyways they wouldnt believe me. So I drove home and build a pillow barrier around kris and layed on  my stomach for the rest of the night. Unbeknownst to me, after I left stace ran to her parents house and told them I hit her and threw the lamp at her. While I was asleep her father burst through the door and dragged me into the front lawn and proceeded to beat me black and blue saying I should never have treated his little angel like that and had to apologize to her right then and there.

 Didn’t they see the stitches Chase? Yea they did but they didn’t care. They only care for their sweet little angel Stacy after that whole thing it drove a crater size gap in our relationship. Truth be told I only stuck with her was for Kris could have both parents growing up. If we didn’t have Kris I would have packed my bag and disappeared forever. So our feuds went on for a while and before I knew it Kris was turning 4 so I asked him what he wanted and he told me he wanted a giant stuffed pink bunny so I said alright but I’ll see what I can do. So I looked online and there was a woman that would do the job for 1,000 dollars so I got to work doing overtime just so he could have that bunny but he didn’t make it they both didn’t. I was at work when it happened when I got that call saying someone broke into the house and killed them both. I just froze. I didn't know what to do. I obviously went to the police station and they detained me for questions because I was their number one suspect. But i answered everything truthfully and i had physical proof i wasn't there when it happened but they didn't believe me so they kept me for three days so they could search every avenue.  As i said they came up with nothing to pin against me so they let me go and i had to go back to that house but i JUST couldn't at least not for 24 hours so i stayed at a motel for the night and when i went back i was praying it was all a dream. That as soon as I pulled into the driveway Kristen would come out and greet me. But i didnt happen and before the week was up I gave everything to staces family or whatever they didn't want. I just sold for extra cash and sold the house. It went up pretty fast. There was a new starting family that immediately bought it. I actually got to meet them…nice people. And then I just headed out to wherever I wanted.What about your job?Oh yea forgot about that when i was being interrogated my boss called and said i was fired he didn't want a murder on his payroll. Plus by that point if I wasn't being looked at as a murder there was the look of pity. It got to the point where it was driving me up the wall so that's another reason why I left to a place where nobody knows me. So what do you think? Pretty messed up life am I right.…chase…if this spell works how about me and you have a couple of drinks. What do you say? Heh sounds good anthony sounds real good. Anti.Anti? Thats my nickname, anti its what i would like to be called.Alright anti it is.

@tracobuttons @leobashi @leoo-o-o

[robix9]

Sticktober Day 18: A new little kind of channel

TRANSLATION:

This channel now has two owners!

Hello Followers! (I hope I spelled that right) Today this channel will be entered by me and Pupkin.

At first I didn't really want to participate in this Sticktober, which was probably created because of the Redemption of Green Arc (Otherwise you can't explain why there is such an incredible resemblance), but there are quite a few days left until the end, and I thought “What have I got to lose?” and decided to do it.

What am I planning to do? Help Pupkin finish the whole thing.

And another interesting fact about me: in the entire time my friend has been gone, I've spent most of the time just sleeping, and I've slept so much that I've lost count of how many days it's been. Wait, a year? Holy shit, that time has flown by

Here by the way is the old, and new avatar with me, who decided to make something in the form of a face and fingers on my hand , and it was just made for memories, not for an avatar. (With a joke about my physique)

[aristocratic-otter]

Holy shit there's something in the air this week! Y'all have been so productive! I can't remember getting so many tags in one week!

Luckily, I've been productive too. So, below the cut because I have way too many WIPs, here are six sets of six sentences (say that five times fast)

From: To Heal A Broken Mind:

Simon Snow snogged me today. Simon Snow wants me. Wants to get off with me, even though we can’t have sex. 

What even is my life?

By extreme force of will, I manage to unbuckle my seat belt and step out of the car. Simon follows me back into my condo, trailing behind, silent as a ghost.

From Raising Dragons (almost done!):

The powerful shriek from behind me has me slapping at my hip and chanting the invocation for a sword that will never come again. My mind is foggy. I could swear I just closed my eyes. 

The noise comes again. What is it? Banshees?

From Westward Son (posting a chapter tomorrow finally!):

“It would kill me if one of you died because of me,” I whisper, staring at the ground.

“Oh Simon,” Shepard says, and his voice is so kind that tears start burning the corner of my eyes. He squats down next to me and puts a finger under my chin, turning my face up towards his. I search his eyes. I don’t see fear or worry, only empathy as vast as the open prairie. “Everyone feels like that, dear friend,” he says softly.

From: Secret Project!

“Looks like they were having quite a party,” McNeil comments, with a slightly inappropriate smirk. I raise my eyebrow at him reprovingly and he flushes. “Sorry, Sir,” he says, in a much more professional tone of voice. I nod, and return to my investigations. 

“Hey, look at this,” Snow says. He’s not speaking to any of us in particular, but I still sense that he’s talking to me.

From: Saving Simon Snow:

“I’m knackered, Snow. Would you be averse to just sandwiches and fruit for dinner? I know it’s not much of a wedding supper.” He actually looks apologetic about that. 

I snort. “It wasn’t much of a wedding,” and then, when he actually looks a little hurt at that, “because it wasn’t meant to be. Maybe someday we can do it all up proper, yeah?”

From my COBB:

I have to find out what he cast. Then maybe I’ll know if I should hope or if it’s as he says. Some people are lucky enough to share a kinder fate than he and I. The problem is, how am I going to find out when they’re not even telling anyone that Simon cast the spell? I can’t admit to being able to hear well enough to have overheard a whispered conversation taking place across the room from me. 

I’ll just have to antagonise him into telling me.

Thank you and tag backsies for Wednesday to @theearlgreymage, @whogaveyoupermission, @j-nipper-95, @hushed-chorus, @artsyunderstudy, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @larkral, @blackberrysummerblog, `@palimpsessed, @facewithoutheart, @prettygoododds, @cutestkilla, @sosoapi

A few new tags for Wednesday: @bazzybelle, @bookish-bogwitch, @chen-chen-chen-again-chen, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz, @fatalfangirl, @ionlydrinkhotwater, @ic3-que3n, @ileadacharmedlife, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @jbrrring, @krisrix, @letraspal, @frjsti, @moodandmist, @moments-au-crayon22, @nausikaaa, @nightimedreamersghost, @onepintobean, @prettylightsbigcity, @raenestee, @technetiumai, @tea-brigade, @thehoneyedhufflepuff, @urban-sith, @whatevertheweather, @yellobb-old