#holy shit i can't spell today | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

8ttached · 1 year ago

Text

pretty laced dress

pairings - fontaine x blk woman

warnings - 18+ smut minors dni!! bathroom + mirror sex, oral (fem receiving) overstimulation, not proof read, aave mentioned in story.

word count - 830

a/n: hey guys!! i just wanna say thank you for 100+ followers?! i feel so honored to have so many people enjoy my writing thank you thank youu!! im trying to ease my way back to being more active on this account and having you guys know a little more about me but just know my reqs are definitely open right now so help a sister out with recommending some writing prompts (smut or not id be glad to write them) but dont hold it over my head i still have a life yall (T0T)

summary: it's your anniversary night with Fontaine and as you guys are getting ready to hit the road, your boyfriend couldn't get enough of the black lacy dress you slipped on. after seeing your boyfriend get needier by the minute he realizes you two have a little time to spare.

(reblogs and comments are most definitely appreciated!!)

“Hey baby, can you help me with this dress?”

Today marked your 2nd year anniversary with fontaine and what better way to celebrate than a nice dinner between the two of you. This was your second time trying on this dress. the black, thin, tight dress that complimented you in every way. From your deep skin tone to your delicate curves, that dress had your name written all over it. There was one problem though, the zipper. The cheap zipper on the back of your dress. Not only was it hard to zip up yourself, but when you tired, the zipper would never budge. Which is why you called fontaine into the shared bathroom

You were too focused on the zipper to notice your observant boyfriend standing by the door, quietly admiring you from head to toes. By time you got impatient you turned to the door getting ready to yell out for him again only to get startled by the tall, male figure leaning on the door frame.

“Holy shit Fontaine don't scare me like that!” your freshly done nails laid on your chest while you catch your breath. “My bad ma, whatchu need help with?” Fontaine asks, his hands slowly wondering on your hips. “Can you zip the zipper in the back?” ignoring your boyfriend's rough hands wondering from your hips up to your waist. “Mhm” he lightly nods, his hand not leaving your waist. The zipper started from the bottom to the middle of your back and Fontaine loved it. He loved how well it complemented you. Your glistening, defined back, the gold necklace clasp that hung down the back of your neck, he loved Everything. Sure, he was quiet, but his thoughts were sure loud as hell and It took everything in him not to blow your back out right then and there.

He took his time zipping up your dress, admiring what everyone else wanted but definitely couldn't have. He hums quietly. “You so beautiful baby.” you cheese at the compliment. “Thank you baby.” you smile looking towards him through the mirror, noticing his eyes glued on your back. “I could blow your back out right now.” he whispers in his raspy voice. You gasp. “Fontaine!” you yell out. “what, I can't admire you right now..” he trails off as he gets distracted. He observed how your dress hugged your curves, how it shaped your ass perfectly. He really could stare at you for hours. “Ya think we got a lil' time to spare?” you feel his warm breath on the crook of your neck before you feel light kisses from his thick dark lips. The only thing he did was breathe on your neck and already he has your ass under his spell. You take a deep breath eagerly nodding your head. “Uh huh.. but we have to be quick” You take a deep sigh.

“Then lemme not take this time for granted.” you feel his light grin against your sensitive neck

There you were, bent over the bathroom sink getting your pussy eaten by the starved man behind you. The bathroom was filled with muffled moans and high-pitched whimpers. “fuck taine!” your spread legs caused the dress to stretch from the floor. “Mhm, my perfect lady, you’re so sexy” Fontaine mumbles against your soaked pussy as he grips your ass tightly earning a shaken hum from you. “Mm- I'm gonna-”

“Mhm, There you go, let it out, baby.”

his vibrated praise sends you through your 1st orgasm. after what felt like only minutes you were losing your mind. From the Hickeys and bite marks all over your neck and collar bone, your ass stinging from each smack and passionate grip, to your man eating your sloppy pussy as if he hasn't eaten in days. all of it was becoming overwhelming. “t-too much taine please..” you whimper as you grip the bathroom counter, desperate for support. Throughout the orgasms you’ve given out, he didn't let you catch a break, let alone your breath.

“Mm mm, i know you can take a baby, i know you can.” he slips his middle and ring finger inside your sloppy cunt.

Everything felt intense but so good. Everything Fontaine was saying was going out one ear and right out the other until you felt a smack against your ass.

“Taine- gonna cum again!” you yelled out. Arching your back, pleading for more.

“Thats right ma, let it all out mhm i got you”

was all you could hear before you clashed into yet another orgasm.

the ringer on your phone interrupted causing you to fall back into consciousness. “Just in time” Fontaine whispers as he pulls your lacy black panties back up and your dress back down over your ass. You look up at the mirror noticing his obvious boner in his pants. “Wait, taine what about-”

“i can wait till later tonight” he kisses your temple, grinning at you.

“Now fix ya self up, we gon be late.” and so you did.

#they cloned tyrone #fontaine #fontaine x black reader #fontaine x reader #tct #black reader #fontaine smut #john boyega #x black reader #x black fem reader #x reader #they cloned tyrone x reader #tyrone x black!reader

484 notes · View notes

thatfreshi · 1 year ago

Note

Appreciate the Astarion works!!! 💙💙💙

If you'd like another request, what about Tav gifting him something that allows him to see his reflection? Idk some kinda spell/amulet/potion? They're already to the point where he feeds from them or in a relationship and he's just beyond touched/ shocked they would do something for him like this? (Bc we know he's not ever had the most kindness shown to him)

he's been living rent free in my head and I just want to give him everything his undead lil heart desires.

Recommended Song: Mirrorball - Taylor Swift

(I just started listening to her music and holy shit this song is so them!!!)

It's late, the perfect time of day for the two of you. You and Astarion and out in your backyard, putting out some new furniture that he haggled for today. It's hard to say no to that smile, you would know. As you move nice chairs around debating where you should put them, you get into a playful argument.

"I know you're like, the house decorator, but gods why can't we put it in this corner?"

"Because darling, it'll ruin the feng shui. We should put the chairs here instead, and keep the plants over here."

You roll your eyes.

"I bet you don't even know what feng shui means."

"I don't, but it sure sounds fancy doesn't it?"

You giggle.

"What, I'm laughable because I don't know one tiny phrase? I bet there are plenty of words you don't know."

"Well, I don't know them, so I'm not worried about them."

You saunter over to him, throwing your arms up around his shoulders, and the two of you stare at each other for a moment.

"You know our anniversary is tomorrow right?"

"How could I forget my sweet?"

"I don't know, maybe the way you forgot what feng shui means."

"Okay, ouch. But yes of course, I have wondrous plans for the two of us."

"Okay but you can't have that good of plans because I really need to make sure you don't one-up this."

You walk back into the house for a brief moment, grabbing a scroll out of your bag.

"When I walked away while we were at the market, because I said I got tired of hearing you argue with that old lady? Well, I found this."

You hold the scroll out, and he gently grabs it out of your hands.

"I tried to get Gale to teach me, but you know I'm not very magically inclined so..."

He unrolls the scroll, reading the scrawled writing.

"This is-"

You cut him off in excitement.

"Mirror image! I thought maybe you could use it to make a reflection of yourself."

He stares at the scroll in shock.

"How much did you pay for this?"

"None of your damn business."

You grin at him, knowing all too well that you paid that guy way too much.

"This is very sweet my dear, I... I don't know what to say."

"Well you don't have to say anything, try it!"

After reading for a moment, he goes to cast the spell. He says a few words that go right over your head, and suddenly there were three more Astarions in your backyard.

"Gods!"

Astarion's cry of shock echoed through, all four of him? You're not quite sure how this works. After getting his bearings, Astarion looks around at his three reflections.

"Wow, this is certainly... wow."

You're so excited, you can finally show him all the little details you like about him, he gets to see how gorgeous he is, the list goes on and on.

"Okay, I have to do something funny, because I NEED you to see your little laugh lines. Hm..."

He furrows his brow at you, wondering what you're planning. And then you tickle his sides, causing an eruption of laughter.

"Quick, look!"

As he's still smiling, he catches a glimpse of one of the reflections, the little crow's feet he gets when he laughs.

"Oh, that was so important you had to attack me? If anything they make me look old."

"Well... you are kinda old."

He playfully pushes your shoulder. After the two of you quiet your laughter, he stands staring at one of the reflections, taking it all in. The eyes, the hair, trying to remember what he used to look like.

"What do you think?"

"I think... I think it's fitting."

He snarls to look at his fangs. Astarion has never seen just how menacing he can be, why people listen to him when he's threatening. You don't see anything scary though. Maybe you used to, long long ago. But now, he's just Astarion. That's all he has to be.

"This red really is quite bright."

He says, commenting on his eyes.

"Yeah, they're nice though. Piercing."

"At least my hair looks as good as I think it does. All my efforts haven't been wasted."

And just as fast as they came, the reflections vanish, fading out of existence. It's just the two of you again.

"Damn, I thought it would last a little longer."

You frown a little, wondering if it was really worth it. Astarion catches your glance, realizing your doubt. He tilts your chin up and cups your face in his hand.

"Even if it was short, it was a wondrous gift darling. I appreciate it, truly. Besides, now I know what kind of handsome devil you've ended up with."

"Yeah, trust me, I know."

You wrap yourselves up in each other, locking lips, somehow sharing your gratitude for each other in kisses. He gets a little handsy, and you jokingly whisper to him.

"Should've done this with the reflections."

He laughs quietly.

"Oh hush."

You end the evening tangled up in each other, and he seems to be more sure of himself than usual. Turns out seeing yourself after two hundred years can do something for the ego. Maybe one day, you'll find a more permanent soluton, but for now, one little scroll is enough. He's enough. You're both enough, as long as you have each other.

#astarion #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #fluff

442 notes · View notes

imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese · 1 month ago

Text

Destinytober24: Day 2 - Tower

In the Destinypedia article on the Tower of Woe (from the Scarlet Keep strike) there's a quote at the top:

After much investigation, this has been determined to not be an actual quote from anywhere within Destiny that anyone has been able to find.

Link to Ao3 if you prefer to read it there

"Tower of Woah? …It's not that impressive."

"What?"

"You said it was the Tower of Woah. It don't make me go woah."

"There are times when you are completely incomprehensible."

"Pot. Kettle."

"Hmmm…"

"Don't guardians normally have to fight their way in here?"

"Yes."

"But we just walked in right through the Scarlet Keep and no one bothered us."

"Yes."

"And there ain't nothin' shooting us as we go up this elevator right now."

"Correct."

"But when I looked this place up in the Hidden archives there was footage of-"

"You have been infiltrating the Hidden archives? Again?"

"Well you said we were goin' here. I wanted to research it."

"You could have simply asked me and I would have shared the relevant files."

"But then I wouldn't possibly come across any irrelevant files. The amount of times I've stumbled across the most profitable-"

"Do. Not."

"Right. Sorry. Point bein'… the footage I saw had Hive Acolytes shootin' Guardians in this elevator from those holes in the sides."

"Alcoves."

"Sure, whatever. They were in there in those Al-Coves shooting guardians as they came up the tower like they was fish in a barrel. No cover. Shoot before ya get shot. But there ain't no one shooting us here. Last Guardians through can't have got rid of all the Hive in this tower. Those fuckers move back in hours after you clean 'em out. Sometimes five minutes if you time it right."

"Yes. But they are not here now."

"That's my point. Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why ain't they here tryin' to kill us?"

"Because I sent them away."

"You what? You can… command them?"

"The lesser Hive are easily compelled with sufficient magic and force of will, yes. The spell will last for the next four hours, which is more than enough time for us to make a full circuit of the tower and take care of anything we might find."

"Holy shit. I didn't know you could do that. That's… hot."

"Hmmm…"

"Wait… You said the lesser ones. What about the greater ones?"

"This is why I requested your assistance."

"You can't take on the greater Hive?"

"I can, and frequently do. However this is one of those situations you have mentioned before… where it 'makes sense to bring a friend'… just in case."

"Buddy system. I get ya. Surprised you didn't just bring one of the Guardians."

"I usually do. I will in future, if you prefer."

"No. I do not prefer. I like this. You know I like this."

"I do. Hence your invitation."

"Just not used to you… bringin' me along for… Moon shit… that's all. I like it. I hope we do it more. I'm happy to come with ya for anything, you know that."

"I do."

"Hey… wait a sec… is this… a date? This is a date, isn't it?"

"What? No. Why would it be a date? How does that even make any sense?"

"Creepy Hive tower… you scared 'em all off so we can be alone… maybe we fight something nasty together… murder is a form of love for Hive so us killin' something big together is kinda-"

"No. We are here to set wards and confirm the tower's energy is not being put to even more nefarious uses than it is routinely. It is not a… date."

"Not with that attitude."

"Ugh."

"Hoo-ee! Four Ogres, six Wizards and nine Hive Knights… It may not be the Tower of Whoa but it sure is the Tower of Ass-kicking today."

"Tsch."

"That was fun. You should take me out on dates like this more often, Moondust. You really do know how to get someone's blood flowing."

"Hmmm… Yes. You should use your ghost for that."

"Nope. Not gonna."

"Do not be ridiculous. You are likely to lose consciousness from blood loss before we even get back to Sanctuary."

"Nah. Brought a first aid kit. Gimme a bit and I'll have myself patched up. It'll be fine."

"A first aid kit? Why would you bring a first aid kit? You have a ghost."

"Because you don't."

"What?"

"Rule number one about hangin' around Lightless, is you bring a first aid kit in case they need it. My ghost can't do shit if you get hurt."

"Do you… always bring a first aid kit when you are… with me?"

"Uh… yup."

"Really."

"Well… yeah, Moondust."

"That is… extremely thoughtful and… kind."

"Really? Wild. It's almost like I like you or something."

"Or something."

"Hey… you sure this ain't a date, Moondust? Cuz when you're up close touchin' my face all gentle like this, it really is very nice… and it almost looks like you might wanna kiss me right about now."

"Do you never stop talking? Even now… with our lips so close together… you are still… talking."

"Yeah well, if you want me to shut my mouth so bad, maybe you should shut it for me."

"Ok I take it back. It is the Tower of Whoa."

"Tsch."

Link to the entire month's worth of prompts on Ao3, posted daily.

#destinytober24 #destinytober #destinytober 2024 #destiny 2 #drifteris #the drifter #eris morn #the drifter/eris morn #drifter/eris #you just know she is rolling all three of her eyes #tower #ao3 #fanfiction #writing #imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese #cs member writing #tower of woe #shadowkeep

28 notes · View notes

fakescenariosbeforesleepblog · 8 months ago

Text

Suspicious.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x Reader.

Gaz and you were friends during your childhood and teenage years, such a surprise when you find him out of the building where you're working.

PT2

Warning: spelling and grammatical errors, maybe is not good enough but I had the idea stuck in my head. Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

You were late, just at the worst time your car decided to not work, the bus was late too, the subway was having electric problems, you were running through the town, you changed your clothes in a public bathroom close to the building where you will be working.

You're wearing black, you have a gun and pocket knives, some tissues and more, just in case something goes wrong, suddenly, someone collided with you.

- Fuck! Look where you're going asshole!

You started to pick your notebooks, laptop, ipad, cellphone and all the stuff you had on your hands without looking at the stranger who decided to make your day more difficult.

- Y/N?

That voice...

You looked up, is he...? No, there's no way but... Those brown eyes, that black hair, that smile... He kneeled down to help you without leaving eye contact, you're still shocked, you could expect anyone else but him.

- Garrick? Kyle Garrick?

- Yeah! The legend.

You laughed, both stood up and he handed you all the rest of your things.

- Oh my god! Years without seeing or knowing something about you man!

- I Know, I was going to say the same!

- Look at you! Oh lord! You look amazing, you look pretty much better than I remember.

- I always was attractive, I'm just like the Wine, Y/n

- ha-ha! If you say so!

- Where you were going?

You realized you were going somewhere and you were going late.

- holy shit! I have to... Oh... I actually... This is where I was going.

You pointed at the building in front of you, Kyle looked at you and then the building.

- Do you work here?

- Ah... Yeah! I... I do, home office but today they asked me to come, it's an emergency or something.

- What's your job here Y/n?

- oh, you know, I always was a nerd, computers, operative system, security and technologies.

- oh right! I remember my grades at the end of school were magically fixed, thanks to you!

- Yes, my first time hacking something, the system at school, was really funny!

You were so happy to see Kyle, you and him were good friends when you were young, you remember the afternoons after school wasting time at the park, or the lake, parties with your brother's friends, Kyle and you always causing troubles, always side by side, life was good.

- What about you Garrick, I lost your steps after our last summer...

- I joined the army. I shouldn't say it loud but I'm working right now actually

- Ohh, well...You always loved the adrenaline...

- I know, it made me well, I'm working all the time and sometimes I want to take a break but... I love my job, I can't complain.

-Same, ahhh I... I still remember that last summer, you know?

You're not lying, you remember every moment of that last summer, you remember the last time you saw him, things stayed in the air, you wanted to talk about what happened But welcome back to reality, your smartwatch alarm remembered that you needed to run.

- Fuck, fuck... Sorry, Kyle has been a nice moment and I would love to keep talking but I have to go, ok? I'll see you... Around I hope!

- For sure...

You didn't give him time to finish, you ran to the building, nobody paid attention to you, no one noticed the cameras stopped to work, and no one asked you to show your credentials. You took the elevator to the penultimate floor. As soon as you arrived you walked directly to the first door, "Security systems", as you supposed, there's a numeric keypad block.

Easy, you already have that information, you hacked a part of the system. «5-8-9-6-2-7» «access granted».

You took a seat and started to work, all the information from this company was now in your hands inside an external hard drive. You made a call.

- Sir, I have the information you requested, send the money and my transport.

- Well done darling, the transport is on the way. Go to the building's roof, you will find a parachute, use it... Oh! And don't forget to do the other thing, a car will be waiting for you near to the park.

You've been doing this for years, you're a hacker, working in a private company "les hiboux" (the owls). You don't care about the information You're taking, you only care about the payment.

You never had troubles, but, as today you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, troubles were on the way.

Kyle was actually saying the truth, he was working, him and the boys were trying to find the person who had been hacking and selling important information, he was still waiting for someone suspicious.

- Gaz. Who was that?

- Just an old friend Soap. Focus.

- Well, your friend works in that building, casually works with the security...

- I know, I heard it too Ghost.

-And Is the only one who got inside since we arrived.

- Yes, so what?

- Gaz... What if your friend is the person we're trying to capture?

The Captain's question woke Up Kyle's curiosity, he started to repeat inside his head every second of the conversation, you weren't wearing clothes for a job In a company like that, you brought a lot of things with you, every pocket in your clothes looked suspiciously full of stuff, you didn't know where exactly the building was located, you weren't specific about your job in the place. Everything was suspicious.

Kyle finally realized, you're definitely suspicious, he ran inside the building.

- Kyle! Wait!

- Cap, you're right, we have to capture now!

Each one started to work on his part of the plan, Kyle was on the elevator, when he arrived at the floor he only saw you coming out of the room, you had a bottle on your hand, he knew perfectly what it was, a Molotov.

- Y/N Put that thing down, now!

You looked at him, panicked, you really weren't expecting Kyle pointing at you with a gun. You threw the Molotov away, specifically to the security room and ran, Kyle was running behind you.

- Captain, evacuate everybody! There's fire!

- Copy! Soap, come with me, Ghost do you have visibility?

- on the way!

- Good visibility, the target it's running to the roof, I request permission to shoot.

- Do it if it's necessary, Gaz, go for the target, we don't want to hurt or kill it!

- Copy!

You ran and opened the door, you locked it with the first object you saw close to you, and as your boss promised, a parachute was waiting for you, you were putting it on you when you heard someone trying to open the door, you were distracted looking at the door when a Bullet passed close enough to your cheek, cutting you.

«Y/N! Open the fuckin' door, they will shoot you, I can protect you, open it, let's talk about this! For the old times!»

- I'm so sorry Kyle, this is my Job and is more important than what happened in the past.

Bullets were running in every direction, they didn't want to hurt you, but you know if you stay and don't complete the task, you will be dead before the sunset.

«Y/N! Please! We can fix this! Do it, for that last summer kiss!»

You were now ready to jump... Kyle opened the door, now he's in front of you, you stopped, for a second that memory of your kiss popped up, a thousand of "what if" invaded you, you considered to stay, two other men appeared behind Kyle. No, you will not lose your head just for an old summer love, the sirens of the fire truck, alarms, and the ringtone of your phone brought you back.

- Bye, Kyle Garrick.

You simply jumped, Kyle ran trying to catch you, but the only thing he did, was see your parachute opening and taking you away. Price and Soap appeared at his side, now all of them are watching you landing not so far, you're running trying to lose yourself in the traffic.

- won't go further, let's go guys!

Kyle didn't even know how he went back to the streets, one second he was on the roof and the next one he was running on the streets looking for you, the world was spinning faster, how could you? Kyle was feeling sick, his friend from childhood and teenage years was now a criminal, his first love, was now escaping from him.

#cod x reader #call of duty x reader #x yn #fanfiction #x reader #141 x reader #kyle gaz garrick #kyle garrick #cod #reader insert #john soap mctavish #captain price #simon ghost riley #kyle x reader #gaz x reader #gaz x y/n #gaz x gn!reader #gaz x you

74 notes · View notes

number1rizgukgakstan · 6 months ago

Text

FANTASY HIGH JUNIOR YEAR FINALE PART 2 LIVEBLOG: SPOILERS AHEAD

ITS GAME TIME BABY! :D I'm so ready for this. LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO

Spoilers Under The Cut!

GOD their outfits are so fucking cool. I love their bullying of Brennan. it's so great I love it. I CANT BELIEVE THEY DIDNT TELL HIM thats so funny.

"I spent 217 dollars at Hot Topic" Real for that Siobhan.

I would have KILLED for Brennan in Emo Kid Clothes but alas. Some other time.

FABIAN'S ABOUT TO DO THE COOLEST FUCKING THING :DDD

MIRRORS??? MIRRORS?? ROMAENCE PARTNER APPEARANCE MAYBE??? MAYBE??? MAYBE??? It'd be so funny

That dice span for SO FUCKING LONG oh my god. The dice are FEELING IT today.

Fabian pushing Jace into the lava is maybe the funniest use of Brennan's own fucking encounter design against him. I love it.

18 D10???? EIGHTEEN??? INSANE.

"I served Rueben up a plate of redemption arc and he fucking cast a ninth level spell on it" is great.

"AHHH I SHOULD HAVE STUDIED A LITTLE BIT" beautiful final words for the duplicate

Ohhhh Jace is being HIVE-MINDED. He's just a minion. Damn.

WAIT. SO ONCE THE RAGESTARS ARE GONE, THEY COULD PROBABLY BE SAVED RIGHT??? Ratgrinders might get to go away, maybe?

Oh god if Kristen gets rage-starred they're seriously fucked,,, thank god it didn't happen.

MAZEY NOOOOOOOO.

"I mean I don't Hate it" NOT THE TIME FABIAN

They're already two people down [sobs]

OH MY GOD PORTER REALLY FUCKING HATES GORGUG HOLY SHIT. He's so fucking scary actually.

Oh god I'm so worried ANKARNA NOOOOOO

RIZ'S FUCKING PLAN IS INSANE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. Murph the GENIUS YOU ARE. The fact that it did ONE HUNDRED AND SIX DAMAGE is absurd.

"VERY GOOD ON PAPER BUT NO PRACTICAL APPLICATION" OUCH!

SHE'S NOT EVEN RAGE-STARRED??? SHE WAS DOING THIS WILLINGLY?? HOLY SHIT MOST COMPELLING VILLAIN EVER. SHE REALLY IS JUST THAT FULL OF HATE. #1 HATER. I LOVE IT.

Mary-Ann CHOOSING to take the damage is absurd. We stan a dedicated queen.

Oh god three people down is worrying. I'm sure they'll pull through.

ANOTHER CLUTCH SCATTER FROM ADAINE!

God, Brennan's homebrew spell coming back to bite him is SO funny.

GET FUCKED JACE YOU LITTLE BITCH!

ARTHUR AGUEFORT'S CONTINGENCY MEASURE IS SO FUNNY.

Killing KLCK fucking over Jace and Porter is incredibly funny. Turns out Rage does not make for Good Planning.

LOWEST INT BITCHES AS YOUR LEADERS IS SO FUNNY

"I really can't I tried" GOD jace is such a stupid fucking sorcerer I love him.

Jace failing to Bigby's Hand Adaine into the lava and then fighting with Porter is amazing. Peak. ANOTHER CLUTCH NAT 20 FOR GORGUG! The gym really is pulling things off for them.

"He just rolled a 4" in the most defeated voice ever is so fucking funny. This is what happens when half your villain party has shitty strength.

"eat this gizard and get the fuck up" God I love Brennan's random ass magic items. It's great.

"You might still be trapped in a Burning Elmville with a raging giant" So an average Tuesday in Solace?

Honoring the Cock and Getting a Nat 1- the Dimension 20 Way

Fig's tricky little Shatter is my favorite tactic in her toolbox. And her getting 40 damage of shatter is ABSURD, even if her rolling them one by one is nerve-wracking.

SIXTY-NINE FIRE DAMAGE :D

SO IF BUDDY COMES BACK HE JUST FUCKING DROPS STRAIGHT INTO THE LAVA??

BAKUR BABY!!!!!!! LET'S HOPE HE'S NOT EVIL!

He doesn't have his own mini so he's basically just That Guy

Bakur might choose to join either side so let's see :eyes eyes eyes:

GOD I love Fabian and his clutch rolls. BAKUR and ALLIES!

SQUEEEEEEEM!!! FUCK YEAH!! SQUEEM! AND HE BROUGHT THE CORTADOS. BALTHAZAR'S BACK!!!!! HOLY SHIT??? I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU BUT I LOVE YOU!

YOU GOT YOUR HEALS! GET A CORTADO AND JOIN THE PARTY SQUEEEEM!

Mary-Anne rolling a nat 1 is so funny i'm losing it. Clutch ass cutting words. The Hangman is winning!

Fabian and Mazey are SO cute. They deserve the fucking world. ITS ALL LOVE NOW!!!!

The value of protective anger,,,, the strength of love and light and the desire to combat those who would hurt the ones you love,,, Brennan Lee Mulligan you are a genius

ANOTHER K2 BLIMEY NAT 20??? THE DICE ARE THE REAL HEROES OF THIS STORY. It's fucking. It's so fucking funny. I'm literally crying.

Zac in the DM's seat again is making me laugh so hard.

Brennan actually packing up behind them is so funny. He's really committed to the bit.

"She's about to become a normal person" this is actually tragic when you think about it. Luckily, K2 is in a comedy show, so it's going to be funny instead.

"This spell is MEANT to be comedic" yeah it's literally a fucking snowman.

OH MY GOD. CASSANDRA MADE K2 A REAL PERSON???? HOLY SHIT THIS IS SOME PINOCCHIO LEVEL BULLSHIT IM ECSTATIC. OR LIKE, FROSTY THE SNOWMAN???

"Unsleeping City K2???" I WANT THIS

K2 is now a human cleric and she's fucking real. Holy shit she's fucking real.

GOD THE MOMENT WITH CASSANDRA AND BAKUR IS SO FUCKING COOL.

BALTHAZAR GOT FUCKING DISINTEGRATED [sobs] GOODBYE SWEET MAN WHO NEVER DOES ANYTHING. THE MOST CRINGEFAIL MAN EVER

Oh god the Bad Kids are fucking down again :sobs:

"We're just collecting Barbarians" I love that <3 Barbarians Only

Mazey is definitely an honorary bad kid <3 Epic crits and clutch heals for all!

Fabian and Gorgug have gone down SO MUCH. It's incredible how they keep fucking pulling themselves back up. They are truly living on the edge.

We're halfway through the episode and I am very excited and also a little nervous.

OH THANK GOD SANDRA LYNN'S FINE! :D It's also nice to see Lydia and Ragh! :D

I love how Fig immediately calls back to her mom to help. They're the family ever.

GOD Jawbone's full mini is so fucking cool.

BRENNAN YOU CAD WHERE'S AYDA???????

"All I have to do is be dead and I can roll anything" should be printed on a dice holder FOR SURE

THE FUCKING AGENT IS HERE??? IM LOSING IT

BAXTER IS FIGHTING PORTER??? OH MY GOD

Lydia's wheelchair sliding is actually so fun. I love Brennan taking into account wheelchair physics for his combat. It's always nice to see.

GORGUG HAS A FUCKING FLASHBANG?????? ONCE AGAIN GORGUG'S ABILITIES COME IN CLUTCH.

"is this Justice? Is this a New Dawn?" GOES SO FUCKING HARD???? ADAINE YOU ARE THE COOLEST

BAKUR BACK TO HIS HIGH ELF SELF!!!!

EVERYONE'S GETTING A DIVINE INTERVENTION????? HOLY SHIT.

HOLY SHIT FABIAN DID IT???? FUCK THATS SO COOL. FABIAN, A PROTECTOR, ALONGSIDE ADAINE. THEY ARE THE BEST FRIENDS!

Mazey and Fabian are so sweet. I want them to be in love forever do you hear me???? YOU HEAR ME???

"All the ways you've protected people is what makes you cool" GOD MAZEY GETS IT. FABIAN HAS SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE.

Ankarna, sitting in the bottomless pit; THAT BOY DESERVES TO BE WITH HIS FUCKING GIRLFRIEND. LET ME RISE UP!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHH ANKARNA LIVES. SHE FUCKING SLAYS!!! SHE SLAYYYYYYYYYS

Jace getting fucking arrested is the funniest ending for a villain in this show. ITS NOT EVEN THE REAL JACE.

"I WAS HILDA HILDA THE WHOLE TIME!" EMILY THE COMEDIAN THAT YOU ARE!

God this battle was so cool it really did a lot for the Bad Kids as characters.

All of the scenes in the ether were SO GOOD. They really show how strong they've grown, and the strengths of their heart. Their desire to look ahead is built into them, and I love it.

"rebellion without a new dawn to look forward to is just cynical"

"where's the fucking cat" KRISTEN YOU'RE SO FUCKING FUNNY

SQUEEM AND BALTHAZAR HUNTING KALINA IS GREAT

"bring back everyone but Kipperlilly"

"No, just Mary-Ann"

The Bad Kids are great, Funniest people ever, 10/10

"Juicy God Gossip" is such a funny line. Another t-shirt I want.

GOD DAMN IT ARTHUR AGUEFORT WHY ARE YOU JUST NOW SHOWING UP

FORGIVEN, HE BROUGHT AYDA BACK, WE ARE WELL. God their reunion was perfect it was so sweet. And Adaine and Ayda also had a really good moment.

Arthur Aguefort is the single funniest character Brennan has ever written.

Kristen Applebees is going to be the president! HOLY SHIT!

YOLANDA AND LUCY ARE BACK!!!! I LOVE THEM!!!

RATGRINDERS REDEMPTION ARC!!! So they were ALL just possessed. This is a good ending.

Oisin and Ivy should hopefully have a terrible senior year :3

Mary-Ann is so funny and earnest and sweet and I seriously love her. I hope she has a wonderful senior year and nothing bad ever happens to her ever again. ENEMIES TO LOVERS GORGUG AND MARY-ANN WAS NOT ON MY BINGO CARD

Is Gorgug's type just barbarians who can kill him????

GOD all of them are so fucking funny.

Kristen as a Pantheon Type Cleric makes SO MUCH SENSE!!!

Riz switching to tea and embracing change is beautiful. He's so fucking strong. "whatever you choose to do, you're going to be good at it" I love his relationship with his mom so much.

Adaine's mom is being a little bastard in the Nightmare Forest? That's going to be fun to follow up on if they ever do.

"i'd take them to get you" made me SOB. They're THE SISTERS EVER.

"we know what its for, we don't have to talk about it, it wasn't great" IS SO FUCKING FUNNY. Realest teenager moment ever.

HIS MOM SHOWS UP??? CRYING LAUGHING

HOLY SHIT FABIAN'S GRANDAD IS BACK!!

FABIAN's MOM IS ACTUALLY PREGNANT [screaming] THATS SO FUNNY

HIS INFANT SIBLING IS LITERALLY THE NEWEST NEMESIS IM CRYING

"Do you ever talk to Jawbone about any of this?" Mazey's gonna learn her new boyfriend has NO CHILL.

FOUR GOD PANTHEON???? That's going to be SO FUN!!!

Tracker and her girlfriend broke up I'm losing it.

GERTIE DECLARED KRISTEN HER NEMESIS I'm SCREAMING thats so funny. I mean it was intensely funny. It is a bit fucked up she led Gertie on, but that's teenagers for you.

GORGUG AND FIG ARE SO SWEET I'M SOBBING. GORGUG'S GIFTS ARE ADORABLE. THEY ARE THE BEST FRIENDS EVER.

The Thistlesprings are the Most Adoring Parents Ever I love them so much. PROFESSOR THISTLESPRING ARC???? I REALLY HOPE THAT HAPPENS.

"maybe next year i'll be the bad guy?" ARTHUR AGUEFORT I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD.

AYDA AND FIG MOMENT. I LOVE HOW INTENSE AYDA IS. THE GIRLFRIENDS EVER.

Oh my god the Complicated Women Podcast I'm screaming. I love how Sandra Lynn talks about it.

Fig's going to be SUCH a good big sister. Hopefully Fig can help Fabian handle things.

GOD the Hunter's Mark from Sandra Lynn to make sure she can always find her daughter is so sweet. They're the cutest ever.

"Maybe she can just trust that they'll be friends outside of school" GOD I LOVE THAT. Fig is THE BARD EVER.

THE AUTOMATONS HUNTING FIG IS SO FUNNY.

Ayda connected the Bottomless Pit with Leviathin and I'm just sobbing. Her point about learning was so strong and brilliant I love it.

"it's hot tub time!" - GOD THATS SO FUNNY

OH MY GOD BAKARATH IS REAL???? AND KALINA???? THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY. IS BAKARATH GOING TO BE THE FINAL BOSS OF A FUTURE SEASON???

That ending was amazing and I had such a good time. It's bittersweet, but I'm happy I was here. GO BAD KIDS!!

#fhjy spoilers #fantasy high junior year #fantasy high junior year spoilers #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fhjy #fhjy liveblog #d20 spoilers

22 notes · View notes

thedauntlessduck · 15 days ago

Conversation

Band of Brothers Characters as interactions between me and a friend

Winters: I want you in my group because you're smart and know what the fuck to do and get it done, unlike the other idiots

Nixon: Wake me up when it's lunch

Welsh: I got two letters in the mail today from my babe and I'm so excited

Speirs: *I dared her to throw her full orange juice bottle at me* *throws it at me across the table during history class and it hits me in the arm* Don't dare me to do something cause I'll fucking do it.

Sobel: *drawing a picture for an assignment in history class* look at my little tanks *holds picture up proudly and smiles*

Compton: *takes my aviator sunglasses off my face and puts them on hers* I look like a cop. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

Dike: I'm going to take a nap so if anyone asks questions... you know.

Lipton: *after finding out I don't feel good* Oh my poor child. *starts petting my head*

Malarkey: *takes my review sheet out of my hand while I'm finishing it and starts copying down my answers*

Martin: Listen here you flatchested fucker. This isn't fair and I'm gonna complain about it

Guarnere: I once crashed a motorscooter and cut my knee open wide. It definitely needed stitches but I didn't tell my parents, I just bandaged it up and let it heal on its own.

Randleman: you're alright, kid. *punches my arm a little too hard*

Powers: *finds out my computer is touch screen and starts tapping around and opening tabs, which unintentionally prevented me from working on a paper* Oh jeez, I'm sorry. I got a little too excited.

Talbert: *starts tipping my chair back in the middle of class* *struggles to set me back up right and panics* *drops my chair to the ground with me now lying on the floor*

Toye: I have rings on all of my fingers on my right hand so I can do more damage when I need to punch someone

Luz: *I'm having an asthma attack* Holy shit, please don't die *me afterwards: i felt my soul leave my body* Jesus, I bet that's what it's like to be choked by Darth Vader.

Muck: Get over here you fucker, I need you to tell me how the hell to spell aeronautics.

Perconte: Don't let the fuckers steal my chocolate milks. Guard it with your life. Your. life.

Roe: *seeing me eyeing the coleslaw on her plate* Well if you want it, just say so, damn.

Liebgott: *after her food got hit by a ball and strewn all over the table* You little fucker, you're just gonna laugh at me? Why didn't you warn me, goddammit?

Webster: You're my partner whether you like it or not. So you better just start loving me.

Heffron: I hope you don't mind because I can't fucking spell.

#this girl is fricking hilarious #she always calls me 'little fucker'#band of brothers #bob #bob crack #bob funny #band of brothers crack #band of brothers comedy #this has been sitting in my drafts since like 2017 omg #i completely forgot about this #i barely even remember making this

12 notes · View notes

missrpmemes · 5 months ago

Text

Shit my friends have said but they're ask memes

"There's no way I can answer that without incriminating myself. I plead the fifth"

"I may be spiritual, but these hands are physical and you can catch 'em for free"

"Your pants scream "I have a small dick"

"Some advice: become religious and pray to literally anything for help"

"You've made the critical mistake of "watch this"

"2 million dollars and we don't have a can opener?!"

"Look at him, isn't he so cute? I used to beat him up"

"I'm like doordash but for morphine"

"I can't see, turn up the volume"

"It's like if they were a stripper, and they were a gorilla. And it's great"

"Mean and gay are two of my best qualities"

"Day 1 of trying to convince my friend to fight a bear"

"I mean, if you're unemployed and unendowed, write a cookbook"

"Dabbing is a privilege, not a right"

"Yeah, that's true. People who get into situations like that are probably the same people who cross the street without looking"

"I'm going to break in to their house and move everything slightly to the left"

"________ once insulted me by saying "I hope your tombstone is written in comic sans" and I don't think i've ever recovered"

"________ is playing golf the way god intended”

"The rules of the road are for NPC's"

"Traumatic brain damage! Part of a balanced breakfast."

“A hex upon thy house! It’s called a lawsuit!”

“If there’s a clown in my bed right now I’m killing you myself”

"Our father, who art in heaven, baja be thy blast"

"The Holy Trinity of Cooking: Air Fryer, Rice Cooker, Microwave."

“Alright, I’ve powered up a little bit. Lets go ruin that old man’s day”

"Tiddies does not excuse war crimes, _________"

"Any dick is detachable if you try hard enough"

"Goddamn. How long has it been since I destroyed Brazil, and people still consider me a warmonger? Like. Goddamn. Get over it."

"I'm too pretty to know how to do this"

"If it quacks like a duck, it's probably a witch"

“I love being right and correct and sexy”

“I can read but u have to spell it with an Australian accent”

"I give a pass to the murderer-- I draw the line at the capitalist"

"I'm not saying I could fix him, but I could fuck him"

“I drink Diet Coke, I fear no rice”

"We have a lot to do in church today! First: we ritually sacrifice Sonic."

#rpc #rp community #ask meme #ask prompts #inbox meme #roleplay #sentence starters #rp sentence meme #roleplay meme

18 notes · View notes

rbkzz · 22 days ago

Text

Inktober is happening and I don't know what the prompt is and I'm not actually doing it.

But here are Watford era snowbaz in ink because I have an all day seminar today and I can only listen while doodling.

I initially just had a hankering to draw Baz (who apparently decided his first teenage facial hair attempt would be a soul patch. A questionable choice, but I think he pulls it off).

Then I decided I had to add Simon. And of course that lovable f*ucker had to steal the show as always. Look at him having *colour* and shit. Damnit Simon!!

What are they arguing about? Who knows. Maybe Simon's like "dude I hate you I know you're a f*cking vampire I can see your damn fangs stop denying it you're totally gaslighting me how dumb do you think I am don't answer that shit wait your fangs are actually really hot can you eat with those they look super sharp can I touch em how much blood do you need are you looking for a donor because I think I have a lot of extra blood like I'm always hot and sweating and blushing and stuff so like I'm sure I could spare a pint or two but only if you wanna try I bet my blood would taste like buttered scones since that's the main component of my diet and I could probably start eating extra if you need blood like every day so I could keep my strength up but like how does this even work should I go wash my neck do you wanna try right now because I don't really have any plans this evening so if you're free and like your fangs are right there and and holy shit they're like glinting how do you keep your teeth so white I bet you've never had a cavity in your life can you even go to a normal dentist or do they notice your fangs how do you get your plaque scraped if you can't go to a dentist is there a spell for that there probably is and nobody ever told me not that I would try it on myself my teeth would probably all fall out if I did but I bet I could ask Penny to do it for me or maybe you could because if I start giving you my blood which I'm totally down for anytime then maybe you'd have more energy and wanna do nice things for me so if you want my neck is right here and like I'm totally not pressuring you but please bite me I feel like I'm gonna go off your fangs Baz your damn fangs are doing things to me and I can't...."

#snowbaz #simon snow #baz pitch #carry on #disaster simon #watford era snowbaz

9 notes · View notes

foone · 2 years ago

Text

"Why's this gun in the high value vault? It seems to be barely enchanted at all."

Your mentor looks around for his spectacles, before realizing they're on his head. "let me see here... Ahh! Be extra careful with that one. That's The Gun of Today loaded with Bullets of Yesterday".

(another mystical pistol of time magic under the readmore)

You turn it over in your hands, examining the minimal etching on each side. "What's that even mean? And why is it seemingly so barely enchanted? All the other guns in here are hard too look at, they're so blindingly magical..."

"well you see", he says, sitting back in his chair in his usual way he does when he's going into lecture mode, "it's for two reasons. One, it's got only got two basic chronomancy spells on it, and two: they're of opposite polarity, alignment, whatever you want to call it."

"so they cancel each other out and make it seem less magical than it is?"

"precisely! And those two spells are protection-from-timeshift and you-were-never-born. The, uh, names sound better in Temporal Runes but I was never good at pronouncing four dimensional shapes."

"doesn't that completely counter itself out? If you're protected from time shifts, it can't never-born you, right? And holy shit, are you saying you-were-never-born is a BASIC chronomancy spell?"

He pulls off his glasses and slumps back in the chair, looking his age for once. "look: you don't become a pyromancer because your soup is cold. Chronomancers are... Well they're very dedicated people, even if that dedication tends to be fervent and uncontrolled. Did I ever tell you about Dilfen the Reversed?"

"uh, no, but maybe another time. I still don't understand how this gun does anything, if it had two opposing spells on it. It'd be like enchanting a vessel to be constantly full of fire AND water."

"that'd be useful if you were building a dream engine. Or maybe a smoke machine! Anyway... So you have to understand that time magic isn't exactly targeted, not at a person. It's targeted at time. So just because you personally are not going to be affected by a chronomatic enchantment doesn't mean it doesn't still have effects."

Your eyes go wide. "wait, so it still has the effect of you-were-never-born, but you personally are not effected, because of the timeshift protection?"

"yes. And it's 'affected' . You need to learn to use the right forms of words if you're going to be a wizard for very long. Common is much more forgiving than Magical Speach."

"how... How can you tell I used 'affected' vs 'effected'? They're pronounced the same!"

He puts his glasses back on just to dramatically lower them a bit and look over them at you. "my dear young lady, you do not make it to three hundred and four years of magical study without getting a good at seeing how people spell the words they are speaking. Hells, I wouldn't have made it through university, either time, without being able to see how the professors were spelling their words!"

"huh. Anyway, back to the gun," you sat, gingerly placing it back in the display case, carefully. Very carefully, like you just realized you're holding a live grenade and you're not sure where that pin went. "So that means, you get shot with this thing, and it doesn't unborn you, but it does make the rest of the world think you were never born."

"Correct. Or, almost. You actually were never born; recall that it's a chronomantic enchantment, not merely a mind control spell. Everyone thinks you were never born, and they're right. You become a walking paradox, and the only thing keeping you continuing to exist is the enchantment on the gun that keeps time from finishing to correct itself. "

"That's... terrible. Your parents, friends, loved ones... They all won't know you anymore!"

He leans forward like a kid telling a scary story around the campfire, clearly enjoying the morbid table. "oh it's so much worse than just that. Think about the kind of person who gets shot by this gun, wielded by a chronomancer drunk on power."

You ponder (good practice for an aspiring wizard). "Adventurers? Guardsmen?"

"Exactly. Do-gooders, to not put too fine a point on it. The kind of people who go around saving kittens and orphanages, defeating Goleths in the dark dungeons, and stopping Porphyriamancers planning to destroy a whole town for some slight or another."

"so all your legacy will be gone in any instant. No one will know it was you who did all those good things!"

He shakes his head, slowly and sadly. "You're not thinking far enough done this thought, my dear apprentice. Yes, no one will know you did those things... Because you didn't. You were never born, remember? The orphanage is still ashes of wood and bone. The town is destroyed. The kitten is drowned. The Goleth is still demanding virgin sacrifices. All the good you did in your life is undone, because you were never there to do it. Maybe someone stepped up and did some of those things in your absence, but not all of them. Your role in time cannot be replaced."

You neatly utter an oath that'd get you grounded for the next few weeks. "That's some heavy stuff. I see now why you keep this in the deepest vault". You step back, as if a little more distance from the accursed thing will make you any safer. You can't believe you picked it up. You'll have to be more careful in future: just because your magic sight shows something as barely enchanted, it doesn't mean you should consider it safe to pick up. You turn to your master again. "So how did you acquire this damned thing?"

He walks over to one of his lightly-glowing food boxes, the ones he cast that spacetime warp on. They're not really "here", so much as in many places at once, so he always has access to his favorite food and drinks. He pulls out a frosty bottle, and starts pouring himself a drink. (He explained before that although the boxes are in many places, most of them scattered around his tower in convenient spots, their primary location is in fact buried in a snowbank many miles into the northern wastes. So even when it's the height of summer, his drinks stay cool, and his icecubes are always frozen)

While pouring, he explains. "Many years back, my partner Gregor and I tracked down the chronomancer who was fighting a one-man (well, one-elf. Or one half-elf?) war against the nation of Gridden. He was undoing all their battles, afflicting their kings with hereditary diseases of royalty, and generally trying to unmake their entire kingdom from all of time. He was nearly successful, too. We were paid a King's ransom to stop him, and we did, but in a lot of ways the damage was already done. By the time Gregor and I finally ended his reign of terror, Gridden was barely half the nation it used to be. It still exists, technically, but it has lost much of its territory to neighboring empires exploiting its weakness, and many of the people have fled the nation, living as refugees in other countries to avoid the wrath of their unstable monarchs. We couldn't undo most the damage, because chronomancy is like that. You never quite know what has been changed and what wasn't. "

"And if you do change something, what effects will it have? You can read history and see that "oh we lost this big battle in the 19th year of King Whatever", but if you go back and make them win the battle, does that make the nation stronger? Or weaker?"

"There's many a naive chronomancer who met their end trying to improve their nation out of patriotism, by undoing defeats and hardships, only to learn that losing that battle is what finally brought the warring clans together for the defense of their suddenly unified kingdom. Or that plague is why why devoted so much study to healing magic, and if they hadn't had that experience, a later sickness would have destroyed them all, or they would have never gained favor with their expansionist neighbors by being able to cure their queen's infertility."

He slumps back in his chair, glass of something very strong in his hand. "You can never predict how a change in time will work out in the long run. And the nasty thing about time is that there's always a long run, and nothing ends. This is why time magic is largely the domain of those drunk on their own power, who don't care about the consequences, so long as they are the sculptor for the clay of time. You can ask Gregor about that."

You blink. "I didn't know you have a partner Gregor."

He downs the glass and stares into the middle distance. "I don't. I never did". He puts down the glass, softly, as if trying to not make a sound. His eyes still aren't focusing on anything in this place.

You find an excuse to go back to your room to continue your studies. The atmosphere in this room is the opposite of the charge you feel as a spell is building up, but you don't think there's any magical component to this feeling.

#hey more retrocasuality weapons #one hundred and one magical pistols #my creations #I promise I wasn't intentionally thinking of it's a wonderful life when I wrote this #At least not when I started

301 notes · View notes

zombiecicada · 3 months ago

Text

Flare: day four of sticking my dad’s things to the ceiling. Today, the tv remote.

Flare: to everyone saying I should stick myself to the ceiling, it has to be something he would actually look for.

Flare, finger gunning: you can’t spell autism without ‘u’ and ‘i’!

Flare: alone on a Friday night? God, you’re pathetic.

Flare: the devil whispered in my ear “you’re not strong enough to withstand the storm.”

Flare: I whispered back “at least I didn’t lose my golden fiddle to some hillbilly from Georgia.”

Some kidnapper: I’ve invited you here because I crave the deadliest game...

Flare, calmly nodding: Knife Monopoly.

The kidnapper: I was actually going to play Russian roulette, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife Monopoly is.

Flare: I love French’s version of ADHD, it’s TADA. Sorry I can’t sit still, TADA.

Flare: yeah, I suppose I could be more mature and responsible.

Flare: but the truth is, the amount of serotonin I get from being a rational person pales in comparison to being an ✨unhinged disaster✨

Flare: I don’t have road rage. I have road revenge. I’m gonna follow this guy who just cut me off home and post his house for open house every weekend for the rest of the year.

Flare: this might sting a little.

*chucks an entire box of bees at someone*

Flare: You’re talking a lot of crap for someone with a perfectly flammable house.

Flare: I am real tempted to fill one of my pockets with glitter, and then whenever someone says something painfully dumb I can reach into my pocket with a deadpan expression and release upon them a shower of glitter over their head like a baptism of stupid.

Flare: if being cool was a crime, I’d be in jail.

Flare: not because I’m cool, but because I mauled someone!

Flare: someone made my best friend cry, do da do da!

Flare, grabbing a shovel: that someone is gonna die, oh do da da day!

Flare: I now identify as a threat. My pronouns are now try/me.

Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Flare*

Flare: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

Flare: The next time you’re mad at someone, don’t see something mean or shitty! Just remind them that it only takes 20 CCs of air injected directly into a main artery for their heart to spasm, skip a few beats, and die.

Flare:

Flare: oh and make sure to make direct eye contact!

Flare: *spins around in chair ominously* I’ve been expecting y- *chair continues to spin* shit *tries to stop spinning* shit *tries to grab a table to stop spinning* sHIT *falls out of chair*

Flare: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.

Flare: Pros and cons of dating me.

Flare: Pros. You'll be the cute one.

Flare: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

#incorrect quotes #flare #kirby oc #because he makes me cackle

8 notes · View notes

hel-phoenyx · 13 days ago

Text

31) Will you marry me ? (bonus prompt)

Lubell and Ether belong to @noa-de-cajou, War, Ragnvindr, Chiara, Desire, Nru to @corneille-but-not-the-author, and Agathe to @thal-ent

A lot of other characters (mentioned) belong to them and @soupedepates too

I've thought long and hard about this for a while.

My rings are heavy on my fingers, but light on my pocket. I have run through every law text, every little nook and cranny of our holy book, finding nothing that can stop me ; I am after all Queen and Queen's word is law. Even if the Queen is no longer the Creator's herald and descendant.

However, I know what I'm about to do is going to create a rift in the kingdom. Lamia warned me countless times. Heirs won't like that, thinking I'm shitting on their traditions ; the church won't like that, thinking I am destroying the sanctity of union. Even the people may not enjoy it, because the Queen ? Taking not only a concubine while married, but a second spouse ?

Oh the blasphemy.

I have heard her words and all of them are wise. I have to prepare myself for a thunderstorm, maybe a national outrage. It may be the cause of an unrest, even though I am quite popular. I should wait for a better time.

But I want this now.

How long are we gonna live ?

I'm sat at my desk, my daughter looking at me. She thinks I'm a fool, and I wouldn't disagree with her. She's always been more cunning than I am. Yet she didn't say no to what I am about to do.

"Lamia, can you take care of something from me ?"

She rolls her eyes.

"Yes, I can do your paperwork for today. But I'll have you remember that contrary to you, I have no experience dealing with the people. Be quick."

I am aware. This is precisely the reason why I let her go to that apprenticeship with Faloi, as much as I hated the idea. She's leaving in a few days. I have so little time with her.

I nod.

"That won't take too long."

"Hope so, mom. I know dad. Also I have ears."

Sigh. Damn the gods hor having her inherit her father's earsight. I can't hide anything from her even if I try very hard. I had to insonorize my room but the more she grows up and the more she's aware her father and I love each other in many ways.

She throws a sarcastic smile in my direction before sitting down in my place, and shooing me away with absolutely no respect. I've never been a Queen for her, only a mother. This suits me perfectly.

I want a child, not a heir.

I get out, walk to my room. Sun is setting, Baku should be out of his office by now, and Chiara probably stopped training for the day to join him in the bedroom. I know I'm not interrupting anything, because Lamia would have told me so.

When I reach my room, slightly opened so the insonorisation spell doesn't work anymore, I hear two voices. Probably talking about something she saw in the streets and was curious about.

I don't need to knock. This is my room, after all, and I'm never interrupting anything. Yet, Baku and Chiara raise eyebrows, surprised to find me here, apparently. What, like I don't know you're squatting the queen's bechambers while she's not here ? The things I saw you two do on my bed, I swear.

Their guilty cat expressions are adorable.

"Lina, I didn't know you would get back so early..."

Baku is scratching his head, like he always does when he's embarrased. His cheeks are rosy, and it's probably not helping Chiara litteraly climbed him, arms around his neck and legs squeezing his waist from behind. She looks like a sloth like this. A sloth with big, shining doe eyes.

I never was so sure I wanted this.

"Yeah, I let Lamia take care of things for a while. There is something I wanted to ask both of you, actually."

Protocole in the divine Mandate often asks for the two people to be alone, when the question is thrown. Because love is something to be hidden, a secret, an intimate confession. But judging the situation, I wouldn't want to exclude any of them from this conversation.

My hand takes Chiara's, while the other reach a little box in my pocket, where lies an intricate dagger.

I've never been one to follow traditions, but this one I'll keep.

The other dagger I own is sitting on my desk, surrounded by our wedding ribbon. I didn't expect to receive another, but I'm fine with it. It's my turn to give, after all.

"I have thought about this for a long time, and figured out I needed to ask you this. Feel free to refuse, I won't blame you..."

After all, one of the reasons I've fallen in love with her is that she was free of all bonds of life.

I pull out the dagger and Baku's eyes widen. Chiara still looks surprised. She didn't know about the tradition, I suppose.

"But Chiara, will you marry me ?"

She blinks. Once. Twice.

Her eyes are round with something I hope is astonishment. Still on Baku's back, but not holding him as tight anymore. Her hand is still in mine, open. I'm waiting for her answer before I give her that dagger.

Baku is the first one to recover from the surprise.

He smiles.

"Well, for what its worth, I was planning to ask you, too. But it looks like Lina beat me to it."

My smile is a little too victorious for what it's worth. But Baku doesn't seem to mind. He just laughs.

"Maybe not the best time to ask this considering Lina just did an official proposal but I'd like to add myself to the roster. Chiara, will you marry u-"

"Yes !!!!"

She shouts with the enthousiasm of a little kid, a smile even wider than before on her lips. The smile she still holds when she takes the dagger, put it in her belt, and pull my hand towards her. The smile she uses to kiss me with laughing lost in my mouth.

I, too, am smiling.

***

The window is opened and spring winds cool down my room, bringing with them the smell of flowers and pollen.

Never been one to enjoy nature, but I have to admit the castle gardens, that I can see from here, do look like a fine scenery, especially at this moment of the year. A perfect atmosphere for my plans.

It's been years. I had a child far before I started thinking about thah. I had many reasons, of course, but Jiro is eight, now, and just a little bit younger than my relationship. Maybe it's time I go to the next level.

Why did I not, until then ? I suppose I was afraid. Afraid I didn't love her enough; Afraid he would come back and everything would crumble. Afraid, as I am now, that he would hurt her for the crime of being with me.

None of those considerations matter now. I still have that bad feeling, that hint of fear every time I see him in the corridors, but he's harmless, even if still grumpy. Well, can't blame him, memory loss can't suppress the pain of degenerating.

My door opens, and there she is, exhausted but smiling. She smiles way more now. After Lina's coronation she was always gloomy and unassuming ; how that discrete girl grew into an assertive, determined woman always astonishes me. I've fallen in love with that resolve, and her smile and her open hand.

I know she is the one I wanna give that ring to.

I've hesitated a long time. Do I follow Mandate's traditions or Death's ? Nru, who is closing the door carefully now, is Inkan, after all. She may not understand what I want to tell her if I go the Mandate way, and I don't know much about Death's way of courting. So I went back to age-old traditions, dating from the time Ink was still Paper and our continent didn't exist.

The ring is warm in my pocket, but I don't pull it out yet. I just smile.

"Hello, my dear. Did you have a good day ?"

"Tiring ! A necromancer sect was giving difficulties to Lina, I had to intervene for good. Sorry, I am covered in bone dust..."

"I don't mind. Sit down, I'll make you a bath."

"But-"

"No buts, Nru, my dear. You need to rest."

It would have been a time she would protest, say she isn't tired, she could still go on and hey, she should run me a bath and not the contrary, but today is not that time. She just sighs and sit down on the couch, while I go to the bathroom and activate the water warming system. Magic does wonders in the palace.

Bath won't be ready for a while, so I come back to the room and sit next to her. Her forehead feels so soft when I kiss it, even with the rebel hair everywhere. It's a little sweaty. I guess she did have a tiring day.

She leans on my shoulder and I smile again.

"Feeling better ?"

"Yes. sorry again for the bone dust..."

"I told you I don't mind."

And I don't. She's beautiful even tired and dirty. Even though I prefer her in a good shape.

I won't get any best time for this.

"Say, Nru, I have something to ask of you."

"Ask away ?"

Still smiling, I pull out the box from my pocket.

"Will you make me the happiest woman alive and join me in life until death do us part ?"

The box opens on a beautiful ring. ornamented with black roses, obsidian and amethyst. The colors complimenting her hair and those so pretty purple eyes now widening in shock.

It doesn't last for long, though. Because on her face shock lets happiness take its place.

"Yes, yes, of course I will !"

I take her hand, put the ring on her fingers, and she's laughing, I'm laughing, we're both laughing. Yet I've never laughed harder than when she raised her head, with a teasing smile, and kissed the bottom of my jaw.

"But I won't lie to you, you should have better hidden the box if you wanted to surprise me. Though it's not a bad thing. I would have fainted of shock right in front of you, that would have been unsightly."

Lucifer be damned, I love that woman.

***

A cat is laying at my feet, while I am waiting in those plains in the Gaikamshigtai territories, waiting for something that doesn't happen often.

Since she became War, I never see her anymore. Or, not as often as I wanted to. She's a goddess now, she has work to do, and I have work to do, too, as Greater Archbishop of the Silent Moon and Moon's Avatar ; She comes see me often, in between the duties, our duties, but it's so little.

I miss my love. People told me when I took my functions that a religion leader only should love her god, but she is my goddess, in more ways than one. My love, my life, my treasure, everything I've ever asked for while I was trapped in the Silent Moon. My first real friend, my angel, my everything.

And I know Moon doesn't mind, anyway. My loyalty is his since he saved my live, at my birth, and gave me a life I would be proud of, and he set us up, so at this point.

The cat is rolling at my feet, asking for scratches. I just squint my eyes.

Moon, I know it's you. Stop acting like I can't recognize you.

The cat meows. I roll my eyes.

Stop playing. I am your Avatar, for your sake, I litteraly communicate with you through telepathy.

It opens its eyes. Redder than blood itself, redder than the Carnage. A red people never saw on any cat, a red of divine nature. I know for a fact they hate that red. But changing the very nature of a Word is painful enough to make them stop at the tiniest details. Forsaking their human form is already a lot.

Those red eyes are now directly looking in mine.

Worth a shot.

You are a fucking menace.

To you, maybe.

It's a strange relationship we have, for a god and his worshipper. I am not afraid of them and they never made themselves terrifying. I have my own family, a family I wanted to join so badly when I was younger, a family that was never the Silent Temple ; somehow, they became another parent in the process.

Feeling sentimental, Selene ?

They're spying my thoughts again. It's annoying.

Well, as you signaled, you are my Avatar. I can't help it.

Get out of my head.

I'm saving all of my ressources for when you meet your girlfriend again. You have a tendency to broadcast your thoughts when she put her hands on you.

Bitch-

Come now, you're not my first Avatar with problems to control your sexual urges. I'm used to it.

I'm not, you peeping fucker.

That comes with the eternal life, black magic control and godly powers, kid.

I roll my eyes. they're right, the moment they leave my body and I will have to either learn to control my condition by myself or die trying. I have powerful powers without their help, but they destroy me. He saved my life not only by providing me energy, but by stabilizing my body.

I know they could leave any minute. They told me about their previous Avatar, Ahelm, a woman that couldn't be furthest from me but with who I empathise, in a way. They left her a bit before my birth, and now she has to live a life of a mortal loving a goddess.

Like me.

But unlike me, death will forever do them part.

i'm still waiting. The fighting is over, and the challenger died, so there's no ritual to be spoken of, why is she not here-

I hear footsteps the moment I think those words and there she is, running towards me. Two meters and fifty centimeters tall, I don't even reach her chest, running with the strenght of a million me, same strenght running in her blood, her Carnage. For so many people she is War incarnate, bloodshed and violence, but I do remember the teen holding my hand, the unassuming eyes of the girl from the people so unsure in a royal setting, the tiny smile when I told her I loved her for the first time.

Our kisses, our fight, and the final words of the mortal before she became a goddess.

"Will you still love me ?"

I will. I will. Forever and ever.

I let Moon here and run, too. I run towards her, smile wide, tears in my eyes; We haven't seen each other in so long. It's been weeks and weeks are already too much. I want her arms, I want her laugh, I want everything.

I jump in her arms and she catches me, smiling, her only eye shining with joy and love and everything and gods I missed her. Her hands pull me closer, grip my cress like she forgot how my body feels like, like I could forget how hers was so warm.

I kiss her with the might of a god and she answers with the devotion of a mortal.

"I missed you... So, so much."

It's hard for me to talk, still, but those words have never been easier.

Welp, bye-bye, says a voice in my head. I need to watch over something that isn't here.

I ignore them. Kiss her again. Gods, she feels so soft under my lips.

War smiles in the kiss.

"I missed you too, Selene."

"I have so much to tell you."

"I do, too."

She's so beautiful when she smiles. I can't live my whole life away from that woman.

"Will you marry me ?"

I blurted out those words completely out of context, and she blinks, a little startled. I have to admit I didn't think much before talking. I don't even know if gods can marry mortals, especially mortals that follow a different religion.

But I've never been so serious.

I want to have her as my wife.

Maybe she, too, had the same doubts in mind. I can see it on how she hesitates, how her hands squeeze my body. But she doesn't take long before replacing the doubt by a smile, shining and mighty and godly and everything.

"As soon as I can, my love."

Gods, Creator, everything in the sky, I love that woman.

***

Do gods marry mortals ?

I thought about it for a long time. I am no longer mortal myself, I'm gonna live a long, long time, and it's all thanks to her, my love, the mother of my daughter, but still, I am no god.

I don't even know what you're supposed to do. How do you propose to a god ? How do you even tell a god that you wanna marry her ?

That's a lot of things to think about, and sadly I am the overthinker kind of guy. She's the only one that can make my mind blank for a second.

Well, by stimulating another part of my body that isn't my brain, but, still.

I wanna marry her. I've known for a long time. It would be stupid not to join our lives, after all we have a fucking child together. At that point a ring on her finger would be jewellery, and not another step. And I wanna show to the world how much I love her, how much she's incredible, that little lady with her smiles and laughs and way to put me to silence with only a slip of the fingers.

But I still ask myself

Do gods marry mortals ?

She enters the romm, lightly dressed, still cheeks rozy, still sweaty. It's hot, outside, and our activities don't help. Her lips extend to a smile seeing me awake on the bed.

"And I thought I would have tired you by now !"

"Me ? Tired ? Never. In fact, I am ready for five more days, at least."

I say while winking. People can say we're horndogs, a,d that we're putting the endurance standard a bit to high for simple mortals, but I don't care the slightest. That's the woman I love, and that's an activity we enjoy. Who cares about what people say.

Her eyes grow hungrier, but she doesn't jump on me like she would have. In place, she just sit down next to me, put a hand on my thigh.

"Or we could just talk, you know, without moaning included."

"Oh, I love your voice anyway."

I love everything in her. Mind, body, charm, little flaws that once annoyed me but now I find endearing. I don't love easily, that's for sure, but this one it's for my very, very long now life.

Yes, I want to marry her. And I don't care if gods can't marry mortals. She would, with the same ease she kill all my doubts. About having a child with her, living with her, surviving with her.

"But that's good, because I wanted to ask you something."

"What a coincidence ! I do, too !"

"Well, go first, in that case, dear."

"Oh, but I wanted to keep the surprise..."

We laugh for a bit, back-and-forthing like that for a while, but no matter how hard I try, I can't keep the suspense, she isn't bulging. So, admitting my defeat, I pull out the drawer of our nightstand, before getting the box containing my whole life.

Before turning around and burst into laughing.

She has the exact same box in hand.

"Are you fucking kidding me, love ?!"

She looks at me. Looks at the box. Starts laughing too.

"Oh, by mother, don't tell me we had the same idea."

"Great minds think alike, huh ?"

She jumps into my arms, kiss me on the cheeks, boxes still on our hands.

"Sure we do. And yes, I will marry you, my big dumb idiot."

"Hey, com'on, Desire, I am not an idiot, I am a science genius !"

"That I can dumb down pretty quick when I have my mouth on his-"

"Don't finish that sentence or I throw you out of the bed."

She laughs, her teasing voice making my whole body ripple.

"My word, Mairù, you would throw your beloved fiancée out of her bed where she unraveled you so thouroughly ? You wound me, my dear, you wound me !"

"Well, if we're engaged, our bed now~"

"And I'm about to make you discover a whole new aspect of it-"

"Mom, dad, why are you making so much noise ? I can't sleep..."

Fuck. Carolyn. I forgot about my daughter for a moment, but that doesn't erase her from existence. Luckily, we didn't do anything, and my little menace is used to her parents hugging it out constantly.

Desire lets go of me, turns towards the door, where our toddler is standing, eyes heavy with sleep, her plushie in her hands. Before smiling at our little treasure.

"It's okay, Carolyn. Mom and dad are just loving each other."

"But you always love each other..."

"We do, we do," I smile while sitting down in a more comfortable position. And that's a good thing, you know. Something wrong, bunny ?"

She pouts.

"I had a nightmare... Can I sleep with you ?"

"Of course."

Too bad for the engagement sex, but we're not the only ones in this family. And since I am gonna be a husband, I also need to be a dad.

***

I'm not a big fan of weddings, usually.

I turned down Kaï for a reason. Many, in facts. I loved him, from the bottom of my heart I did. But he was mortal, and I was not ; he was king, and I was duchess. I didn't want another bond to tie him down to me, and rob him of his happiness while restraining mine.

Truth be told, I don't think I ever wanted to marry. It held little meaning to me, especially since in demons domains, marriage are often arranged. You sometimes end up loving each other, like Naberius and Meredith did, but more often than not you finish your lives like Ravil and his wife. My cousin, that doesn't skip a beat every time we see each other to tell me how much she despises him.

So, I wasn't sure about marriage, at first. Let time flow. And then Harue and the Spring Queen started talking about it, and I saw Ragnvindr's cheeks color in a slight red. His eyes were a splendid shade of yellow and red.

I guess he wants to marry Lubell, for what it's worth, he should. But now I wonder what about me. Would he want to marry me ? Would I want to ?

I had a long reflexion, around marriage. Talked about it with the Spring Queen, who told me wedding hold the significance I wanna give them. Then, with Katharinah, that told me she didn't like making things official but would consider me her wife anyway. I even asked Sinestri for her input.

She didn't told me much, but it was appreciated she at least didn't hit me for daring to replace her mother.

Now I am sat in front of the garden, tend to by the Queen. Her flowers are beautiful, like always ; she's looking at Harue helping her garden with Aravi, but her eyes sometimes gloss over me, throwing me an encouraging look.

Lubell and Ragnvindr are there too, sitting next to me. They're looking at each other more often than the garden, sometimes I feel like the third wheel, if their hands weren't holding mine tight. Ragnvindr's eyes are redder than ever, there is only love in those eyes.

They love each other, I knew it since a long time. I took a lot of time to accept they loved me, too. I am not used, despite my past, to have more than one love.

Yet the balance was found and today I only find happiness in their shared feelings.

I want to share something with them, too.

The Spring Queen is winking at me, before taking Aravi and Harue by the hands and bringing them somewhere else. Sly motherfucker. She set us up, I know it. And my two lovebirds don't even notice we are now alon in the garden.

I laugh a little, attracting Lubell's attention.

"Something's wrong, Myrrah ?"

"Oh, nothing. Just something on my mind."

"Would you tell us then ?" Asks Ragnvindr with glitter in his eyes.

I bring them both closer to me.

"I was just thinking about how much I love you."

She smiles. He smiles. I smile, too.

"Say, Rag', Lu', my loves, my treasure, I have something I wanted to ask you."

I see their eyebrows raised, I feel their arms around me, I feel loved, I feel loved, I feel loved.

I love them for the rest of eternity.

And I want to show them how much I do.

"What do you think about marrying me ?"

***

Ai and Ether's wedding was a sight to remember, and not only because the two official concubines left could enjoy some alone time afterwards, finally alone in the harem.

I know what they did, I have ears, good ears. Teach' told me they sometimes feel like a curse. Not gonna lie, that night, I got the curse of jealousy.

They taught me a lot about weddings. How they're not only to create children, to reproduce. How they could be against anyone that loved each other, even people of the same gender. How they're a demonstration of love to everyone that can see.

Weddings are not forced, weddings are pretty, wedding can be controversial, but what's more important is that the spouses always laugh at a wedding. That's what Agathe told me.

She's lying down next to me, I'm preening her wings. Full moon is close, I feel cranky, and I know she can feel it, but she wanted me there, so I stay there. Her little chanting is calming me down, anyway. Her voice is so pretty when she sings melodies from her homeland, almost as pretty than when she tells me I did good, I am good, I am loved.

Only thing covering her skin is a transparent dress, one of mine. She stole it from my wardrobe and had the gall to act innocent when I called her out about this. I know she knows the clothing is too big for her, that she went into my stuff on purpose. Yet she looks so pretty, like this.

"How are you feeling, Agathe ?"

"I could ask you the same, says my beloved with a soft voice while lifting her head. You're the one affected by the moon, not me."

She's right, but I still want her to feel good. That's the reason why I still hasn't fallen asleep. I want to watch her as she's loosening her guard, watch as she put her life between my hands, as she knows I won't ever hurt her.

She's the first one that ever fell asleep before me. After caressing my body like I was a work of art, and not a weapon to forge. Like I deserve softness instead of violence.

I wonder sometimes if the blindness made her ignore she had in front of her a monster. But who in their right minds would touch a monster, kiss a monster, let her body in the care of a monster ?

Everytime her hands run through my scars it looks like she's worshipping them.

I lay down next to her, and she pulls me towards her. her wings envelopping us like a cocoon of safety.

"Shouldn't we sleep ?"

"Let's wait for Ether first. She wanted to see you."

Ether. Right. I wonder what she had in mind. It's not a lot of time since, listening to my damn Archbishop, she tried to propose to me the way she told her too. With bones. Selene always had a weird sense of humor regarding customs and bones, I wonder why.

I appreciated the intent and told her yes, but after learning it wasn't how the Mandatians ask for a hand in marriage, she promised me she would make it right.

And then, nothing.

Not a peep, not a word.

I wonder what she's thinking about.

I guess I can wait for a little while longer, even though I feel more and more sleepy, and Agathe has those little movements of the head like she's trying not to fall asleep. Luckily, I don't have to wait for long. The doors of the harem open, and hurried footsteps signal me of Ether's presence.

"Sorry for the wait, I had... difficult patients at the office..."

"It is alright, love," Agathe smiles while opening her wings. "Come here, come here, we were just waiting for you."

Ether doesn't need any kind of persuasion. Quickly, she snuggles next to me, takes my hand in hers.

"Feeling better, Lycarn ?"

"Yes, thank you."

Her hand feels so warm in mine, so soft. It's calloused, like a doctor's is, and yet it runs like silk on my skin.

Her smile gets even softer.

"Well don't fall asleep just yet, because Agathe and I had something to ask of you."

"What is it ?"

Agathe smiles, and takes something from the pillows next to her. A box.

"I had to ask Baku for the customs, and he told me it is usual to offer a dagger, or a ring, for that kind of occasion. But both Ether and I felt like giving you a weapon would be in bad taste, so..."

"We had to resort to the other custom, the more universal one, Ether laughs while pulling her own box. Silent Moon doesn't have any for engagement itself, apparently. We'll make up for it later, promise."

Both boxes are opened before me. Holding each a ring shining under the harem's lights.

Their smiles shine brighter.

"Lycarn, they say at the same time. Will you marry me ?"

Tears run to my eyes.

Yes.

Yes I do.

#lysara #lysara ibruael #hel ocs #hel stories #hel writing #not my ocs #ENGAGEMENTS #I love them it's always makes me fuzzy #Ironic since I don't have may oc couples that want a wedding (or need a wedding)#but hey we're the 31st october none of the remaining prompts inspired me and I said why not ?#(ond day I'll add Tyr and Kaizarz's engagement to this that is a promise lmao)

6 notes · View notes

mrsarnasdelicious · 1 month ago

Text

Tom Hardy Kinktober Day 7 - G is for Group sex [The Kray twins and entourage]

Things get out of hand at Ron's parties more often than not, but not like this. Because usually Reggie isn't there.

Today, though, Reggie is there.

Everyone's undressed and sort of overheated. It's like there is a spell on the lot of you. And you happen to be the only woman there.. So you are the center of attention.

Reggie grabs you by the hips, kissing your neck. "Do I need to take you home?" He murmurs against the shell of your ear. "No." You whisper. "I want this." "You want this, huh?" Reggie rumbles. He presses his cock against your ass. He is only half hard. You know he doesn't fancy men. Not in the way Ron does, anyway. He is here for you.

"Come on, share her about." Albie says. Reggie tightens his grip on your hips. You know he does not want to. But you step away from him, to be closer to Albie. Albert Donoghue is a slender, sinewy man, contrastic Lesie and Teddy who are slender as well, but much more muscular, contrasting the twins, who are short and bulky.

He grabs you by the hips and slowly pulls you close. You look up at him. You haven't even been intimate with Albie before.

Teddy steps up, too, slapping his cock between your buttcheeks. "Gosh, girl, you look appetizing." He growls into your ear while you kiss Albie slowly on the lips. You can't help a little moan. Albie licks into your mouth and Teddy grinds against your ass. "God, the sounds she makes." Ron grunts. "She will sing for us tonight." Reggie purrs.

Ron shoves Teddy away, stealing you away from Albie. Albie swears under his breath, but knows better than to argue with Ron.

Ronnie kisses you fiercely and you moan into his mouth. He shoves you into the nearest wall, his cock grinding against your pussy. You moan loudly into his mouth. "Fuck yeah, sing for me." Ron rasps. He thrusts against you, almost breaching your core. Your muscles tense in anticipation, but he does not quite manage pushing in. You huff softly, writhing against him.

"Oi, share!" Reggie calls out. Ron slowly lets you go.

"Come here, darling, on the table." Reggie says. You hesitate a moment to oblige. Teddy gives you a little nudge. "We want you for dinner." He purrs.

You roll your eyes, but lay down. "Fuck." Reggie grunts. He gives himself a slow jerk. You lick your lips. "Open your mouth." Reggie orders. You obey. But it is Albie who beats him to the punch. He shoves his cock into your mouth without any scrupules. You gag, but Albie seems not to notice.

You feel a tongue push into you and you moan around Albie's cock. You hear Ron's scornful laugh. "How is your first taste of pussy." he growls. So it is Leslie Holt's face between your thighs. He is the only one it could be, with a comment like that. Lesie groans, his tongue thrusting in and out of you. It's not the most stimulating thing, but it is pleasurable all the same. You rock your pelvis against his face. Leslie splutters and backs away. "Ugh, coward." Teddy sneers.

You feel lips seal on your clit and can't help a loud moan. "Holy fak." Albie gasps. Your clit is sucked and two thick digits shove into your cunt. Ron's, you feel one of his big rings push in. You moan again. Albie shudders and the vibrations on his cock.

"Make her cum." Reggie barks. It is an order.

Ronald fucks you on his fingers, jamming against your g-spot, while Teddy sucks on your clit. You moan and drool on Albie's cock. "I .. oh .. I'm not gonna last." Albie gasps. "You can cum." Reggie replies. Albie shudders at being given permission. You feel his cock twitch in his mouth. He cums without warning, spewing his seed down your throat. You swallow as best you can. "Oh holy shit." Albie whispers, pulling way. Saliva and some of his spent dribbles down your chin.

"Such a mess you look, love." Reggie taunts, taking Albie's place. You lean into take one of his balls into your mouth. Reggie groans loudly. You suck carefully and Reggie runs his fingers through your hair.

All the while, Ron is still fucking you on his fingers. Teddy's tongue swirls around your clit. You feel your climax rush up through your skin. You are so insanely close. You need just a little last push. But you cannot ask for it. You know Reggie isn't gonna like you forfeiting his sack to give an order. So all you can do it hope. Reggie lazily cups your breast. You shudder and tense. "Oh you want that, huh?" Reggie taunts. You whimper on his sack. Reggie smirks down on you and pulls harshly on your nipple.

You can't help but let him go to moan, as your orgasm washes you away. Your inner muscles contract and you cum all over Teddy's face. "Come here." Ronnie growls, pulling the slighter man and licking his face clean. Teddy whimpers and does his best to kiss Ron.

Reggie moves from your face to your legs, standing between them. He watches your thighs tremble a little witht he aftermath of your orgasm. "I am going to fuck you now." He says calmly. "Yes Reggie, please." You hiss. "Good girl." Reggie smirks, pushing into you.

#Legend (2015)#smut under the cut #mostly Reggie x Reader #also Reader x Albie #and Reader x Ronnie x Teddy #this sucks #sawwy...

5 notes · View notes

thisisnotthenerd · 4 months ago

Text

Dimension 20 Episode of the Day: 7/15

Today's Episode is: A Crown of Candy, Episode 14, Encounter int he Ice Cream Temple

Original Release Date: 7/15/2020

The Quick Synopsis: The Taste Buds face down the Sugar Plum Fairy in her own temple for the sake of Candia's magic, their own dead, and the preservation of the family Rocks.

Quotes:

"Suck it, bitch! Suck ice, bitch, I know ice better than you!" ~ Saccharina Frostwhip

Saccharina's boss move:

I would like to Create Bonfire around the egg.

Holy shit. Cantrip?

Cantrip.

Every turn she, (yelling in angry gibberish). I'm over here, I got a bad guy, and I can't do nothing. ~ Brennan Lee Mulligan

This creature had a 9th level spell left, and was going to Wish to restore all its hit points, and was one Initiative action away from doing so. [takes a breath, then yells in frustration] ~ Brennan Lee Mulligan

#dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #d20 episode of the day #a crown of candy #the taste buds #delayed batch post

11 notes · View notes

duckielover151 · 8 months ago

Text

The One Piece Diaries

Episode Count: 450

Holy shit, guys... I'm back. I took another several months-long hiatus from One Piece... Mostly unintentionally... (I've been bouncing between a lot of other fandoms these past few months but have been brought back by the live action.) Where to start...

We've been in Impel Down for most of the last 40 or so episodes since my last update post. And not to go off on a tangent, but you know... I've noticed One Piece lumped in as one of the shows that's swamped with filler. And that really hasn't been my experience so far.

What I have noticed is that, around this point, the pacing gets pretty atrocious. There's a lot that happens in the journey to try and break Ace out of Impel Down... But is there 40 episodes worth of stuff? I have to argue no. It gets to the point where the first third of the episode is all recap, and barely anything is actually getting accomplished each episode. So that is a little off-putting.

But! There is a lot of good to be found in this arc too!

Okay, admittedly... Buggy was never my favorite... (outside of some brilliantly written fanfiction by stereden on AO3) And I would have been content to never see Mr. 3 again... But it is really cool to meet back up with so many of the old villains who only met their downfall and ended up here because of Luffy and to have them be on our side now. Really puts into perspective the morality of it all. Luffy's always fighting for the right things... but in the eyes of the government and greater world, he's a villain as well.

I've finally met Jimbei... (Jinbe? Jinbei? I've seen all 3, but Crunchyroll's subtitles use the 'm' spelling, so that's what I'm going with.) I haven't seen a lot of him yet, but I like him so far. He's tough, clearly, but also almost goofily polite, in a way that really complements Luffy's general blunt insensitiveness. I think it's still a while before he joins up as the last member of the crew, but I'm looking forward to getting to know him better.

This arc makes it really clear how Bon Clay came to be as beloved in the fandom as he is. And there's a lot that could be said about Ivankov... A lot that would very quickly derail this update and which I'm not totally, personally qualified to weigh in on...

Listen, One Piece's portrayal of queerness isn't perfect. But it's a hell of a lot better than the way so many other shows handle it, especially given the time this aired. (The Impel Down arc was originally adapted throughout late 2009-early 2010. Frankly, the 90s often included more and better handled LGBT+ characters than the 2000s era anime did, up until pretty recently.) Just the fact alone that this group is so out and proud about it and undeniably allied with and wholeheartedly accepted by the main protagonist is a fucking statement all on its own. It's beautiful. I can't underplay that by nitpicking the places the representation fell short by today's standards in a storyline that's 15 years old now. (I know there's a lot of shit in the future that goes down with Sanji in particular... So I may have less generous things to say later, but that's where we stand right now.)

And as for the arc's villains... Magellan's okay. This last episode particularly, the venom demon attack was pretty badass. (That image of the mushrooming skulls as it formed it was so good.)

And Hannyabal... Okay, there were some early moments that made me laugh. The gag about how he's clearly lusting for the warden's job and not great about hiding it could be pretty funny. But by the time he's defeated... and the anime starts in on a dramatic backstory for this asshole, trying to make him sympathetic... All I could say was, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me...' I know it's kind of One Piece's thing to try and redeem everyone, but I was so bogged down by the pacing at that point... I did not have the patience for it. Good riddance to that dude in particular.

Episode 450 ends with our ragtag group officially making it out... And man, it's cool to see some of these older characters again, but I already miss our crew so much... Especially knowing what's coming...

I'm sure I've already mentioned that I know the bigger Marineford spoilers... But I'm still not sure I'm ready to see it firsthand.

Wish me luck.

#one piece #impel down #Episode 450!#lgbt anime #queers never die indeed #anime update

8 notes · View notes

delta0003 · 18 days ago

Text

Egotober-25-grave

Part 3 of a glitch in the mirror

TW: homophobia,religious trauma, r@pe,and domestic violence, mentions of attempted suicide, suicidial thoughts

Chase woke up to the sound of his alarm going off and slammed his hand onto it. Getting out of bed Chase made himself coffee and went into his living looking at the mirror on the floor. Hm? Oh yea I took it down because of the person in the mirror heh heh man that was a funny dream. Chase lifted the towel off the mirror and hung it back on the wall. You know Chase, that was dick move. Chase dropped the mirror to the floor, surprised that the man was real and not a dream cracking the mirror. Holy shit you're real. Yea I’m real asshole and ow that hurts. Wait, that hurts? Yes because I’m BOUND to mirror, remember of course I’m gonna feel it.

Right- well-um I’ll get some glue and that should work? Right? How the hell should I know this has never happened before but go ahead and try,be my guest. Ok well Chase picks up the mirror taking it into the kitchen and plopping it down alright give me a minute to find it, I know it’s somewhere in here. There got it so…if you're bound to the mirror there has to be a way out right? Obviously but do you know a spellcaster? Hm i possibly know somebody but there a spiritual reader. Does that count? Wait wait, how do you know a spiritual reader since when? Well his name is Marvin, I bumped into him yesterday. I may have ruined his very expensive blouse. He made me buy him a new coffee and before I left he gave me his card. I can't leave you for a moment sunshine but somehow your little accident brought us a lead so thank you. Alright if you're so sure I could give him a ring Chase pick up his phone calling Marvin.

Ring ring ri- hello this is marvin the magnificent how may I help you today. Hey Marvin is chas-CHASEY BOY how are you? Didn’t expect to hear from you so soon did you miss hearing my sweet voice already? No not really-hey listen I have this thing? I’m not quite sure what he is but he’s bound to my mirror and I need him out, sorry if it sounds far-fetched. No no not at all what it sounds like you have either an entity or a low level demon on your hands. Great, can you remove him from the mirror. Well yea I’ve done the spell a thousand times so it’s a piece of cake the only way it wouldn't be if it was damaged in any way. Erm well I dropped it when he spooked me but I put the piece back and now it looks like a fucked up upside down Y. Hm well I can still do the ritual I just need supplies to make it work. Supplies like what? Oh just goats blood,black candles,and sage but I have ⅔ ingredients, I just need the blood to bind the crack. O-oh blood sounds good heh. Yup and we need to do it over said entities' grave, if he’s buried in the state of America. Is he? Well I don’t know I’ll ask hey Anthony were you buried here? Yea I was buried in kosher county it’s three hours from here heading west. Welp marv did you hear that? Yup loud and clear the only problem is it’s fours hours away from me so I’m gonna have to go. Alright marv I’ll call off work today and I’ll start heading over myself, We'll meet at the entrance. Sound like a plan for you two? Yup. Yea I just wanna get out of here already. Alright Anthony give me five minutes to get ready then we’ll head out. Hm.

*1 hour of driving later*

Say Chase, what's your story? What do you mean? I mean why are you here in the ass backwards of nowhere. Hm, it's a long story. I mean we have 2 hours left so tell me your story and then I’ll tell you mine. Why? Just making conversation is all. Well It started with my parents. I was a straight A student, always followed rules, never got into trouble, went to church every Sunday even my parents were your stereotypical construction manager and my mom was a stay at home mom but were also your stereotypical conservative marry a good woman they would say, have lots of children.

But I remember when I started crushing on my friend Kevin. At first I thought these feelings were wrong but after two years of trying to ignore it I just couldn’t anymore and one day after church I asked Kevin to meet me in a secluded part of the church and I confessed to him granite he felt the same way. So I may have tried to kiss him in my excitement. I didn't notice my parents saw the whole thing. …it.. did not end well. My parents calmly took me home and as soon as the door was shut my mother started screaming at me how I was a disgusting person and that she didn’t want a kid like me so she started choking me but my dad intervened and told my mom to go back to the kitchen.

I still remember the wine bottles she drank, the tears that she wept, the insistent praying for me to be normal. Then she came stumbling back to the living room saying she was gonna kill herself because I was a dirty boy kissing scumbag but my dad quickly got her to calm down and sleep then my dad told me to follow him and I did. We went into the backyard and he told me to put my fists up and fight him. I told him I wasn’t gonna fight him because I didn’t know how to fight but he didn’t like that answer so he just started wailing on me, kicking me, at one point he even threw me into the small pool we had. He held my head under the water.

I was so close to passing out but he pulled me out before I did. In my 13 years of living I never once got so scared. He told me that if he ever caught me kissing another boy he would shoot me himself like a wild animal. I got the message loud and clear so I never spoke to Kevin again and if I did see him I avoided him like the plague. I also remember the day after that all happened I was so bruised that it hurt to breathe but I lived with the pain. Also after that I shut down emotionally for a long time. Until I meet Stacy, she was great and all but I only like her as a friend but my parents were over the moon I brought home a girl so I asked her out. Kinda thought to myself if I date her long enough I’ll eventually fall in love with her and I did but it did happen until the wedding. Don’t get me wrong she was very beautiful in that dress but all I wanted to do was run away from it all.

But I married her anyways heh we celebrated until 3 in the morning by that point we called it quits for the night and all I wanted to do was sleep but…Stacy had other plans. She wanted to ”do it” you know but I refused saying I was too tired and that it was late but she didn’t take no for an answer saying it was a man’s job to pleasure her and that I owed her this she also started lightly choking me. It wasn't enough to cut off my breathing but enough her nails started to cut into my throat so I reluctantly agreed and we did it. I don’t think I ever felt so hollow before and I shut down again and then it got to the point where I sneaked out of bed and huddled myself under the warm water to try and get the feeling off of me. I also broke down crying for three hours straight because it just felt so wrong. I felt disgusting and I wanted to kill myself but I didn’t.

I got out, dried myself off, crawled back into bed and practically slept huddled back to her on the edge of the bed kind of way. I only got an hour of sleep because I was so paranoid she was gonna do it again. The next morning wasn’t great either with my dead look and her happy expression it wasn’t hard to see what went on and everyone was so happy for us saying man I knew Chase was a dog and that I must have taken her to town and back so much I didn’t get any sleep or happy wife, happy life am I right? But I wasn’t happy at all. I wanted to push and scream at people but I didn't. I held my tongue and quietly nodded the whole time just mentally checking myself out that I don’t remember the drive back to my parents place so we could get a family picture together because they couldn’t make it. I don’t even remember the drive back to the small one floor house me and Stacy bought no matter how much I try to remember but it went on like that for ten years every time she demanded that I would mentally check out then sit under the water for an hour or 2. One day while we were in the middle of it she said to me Chase I want a baby and I actually stopped for a minute to comprehend what she said and she took it as an excuse to get rid of the condom, flip me on my back, and got at it again.

I tried to stop her saying I wasn’t ready, that we weren’t financially stable enough for it but she ignored me so I tried to physically stop her but she slapped me so hard I was seeing spots in my vision for a couple of minutes that I didn’t realize well you know how babies are made no need to explain further…after it was all said and done I started working for extra hours or I just didn’t go home for hours on end going for walks just doing something so I wasn’t near her for 8 months then I get a call from the front desk at my job statin gn that she went into labor and was having the baby so being the good husband that I am rushed to her side and tried to comfort her but she kept yelling at me that it was my fault and that I did this to her. I just shut my mouth and kept holding her hand until I heard my son’s wailing the doctor congratulated me on the baby boy, Stacey go to hold him and I just sat there for a while staring into nothing wishing I was somewhere else.

She didn’t even ask me what I wanted to name the kid; she just did it herself. She named him Kristen Mathew Brody and we took him home after a week, I did everything for stace until she healed enough to move on her own I tried to pick him up and hold him for as long as I could but I felt gross holding him but I pushed down those feelings because he didn’t ask to be born and I didn’t want to be like my dad with him. He deserved to have a dad who would love and hold him regardless, unconditional. Hm I remember one night I got back from working a 16 hour shift I quietly walked in and undressed, made sure to take a shower and climbed into bed. I only got 5 minutes of sleep before he started wailing. So I got out of bed and held him quietly, shushing him telling him everything alright dads here and all that stuff but I somehow woke Stacey up and she wasn’t happy about it.

She started screaming and it was making Kris cry even worse. I said to her in a calm voice, "Please don’t scream your making Kris’s crying worse so I turned my back to her and consoled Kris. I didn’t hear her pick up the ceramic lamp we had and throw it at my back. It made contact and all I felt was pain so I collapsed to my knees making sure not to cry or fall onto Kris but the noise made Kris start crying and this time worse. So I rushed myself to the hospital with a screaming baby. I had to get 15 stitches in my back while holding him in my arms after they did a quick check up on him. They asked how it happened and I told them that I fell backwards while taking care of him so the doctor told me that I was irresponsible for doing that. I couldnt tell the truth anyways they wouldnt believe me. So I drove home and build a pillow barrier around kris and layed on my stomach for the rest of the night. Unbeknownst to me, after I left stace ran to her parents house and told them I hit her and threw the lamp at her. While I was asleep her father burst through the door and dragged me into the front lawn and proceeded to beat me black and blue saying I should never have treated his little angel like that and had to apologize to her right then and there.

Didn’t they see the stitches Chase? Yea they did but they didn’t care. They only care for their sweet little angel Stacy after that whole thing it drove a crater size gap in our relationship. Truth be told I only stuck with her was for Kris could have both parents growing up. If we didn’t have Kris I would have packed my bag and disappeared forever. So our feuds went on for a while and before I knew it Kris was turning 4 so I asked him what he wanted and he told me he wanted a giant stuffed pink bunny so I said alright but I’ll see what I can do. So I looked online and there was a woman that would do the job for 1,000 dollars so I got to work doing overtime just so he could have that bunny but he didn’t make it they both didn’t. I was at work when it happened when I got that call saying someone broke into the house and killed them both. I just froze. I didn't know what to do. I obviously went to the police station and they detained me for questions because I was their number one suspect. But i answered everything truthfully and i had physical proof i wasn't there when it happened but they didn't believe me so they kept me for three days so they could search every avenue. As i said they came up with nothing to pin against me so they let me go and i had to go back to that house but i JUST couldn't at least not for 24 hours so i stayed at a motel for the night and when i went back i was praying it was all a dream. That as soon as I pulled into the driveway Kristen would come out and greet me. But i didnt happen and before the week was up I gave everything to staces family or whatever they didn't want. I just sold for extra cash and sold the house. It went up pretty fast. There was a new starting family that immediately bought it. I actually got to meet them…nice people. And then I just headed out to wherever I wanted.What about your job?Oh yea forgot about that when i was being interrogated my boss called and said i was fired he didn't want a murder on his payroll. Plus by that point if I wasn't being looked at as a murder there was the look of pity. It got to the point where it was driving me up the wall so that's another reason why I left to a place where nobody knows me. So what do you think? Pretty messed up life am I right.…chase…if this spell works how about me and you have a couple of drinks. What do you say? Heh sounds good anthony sounds real good. Anti.Anti? Thats my nickname, anti its what i would like to be called.Alright anti it is.

@tracobuttons @leobashi @leoo-o-o

#egotober2024 #a glitch in a mirrior #chase brody #marvin the magnificent #antiaverage #antisepticeye

2 notes · View notes