imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

"Eris... Moonlight..." please don't repost or claim as your own

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

"Something's wrong...." — Eris Morn in "Heresy"

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

Hair

Wherein Drifter asks Eris a question he is concerned she may not like.

Link to the story on Ao3 if you prefer to read it there

ACCESS: RESTRICTED DECRYPTION KEY: C0W6A2QJ99$IKO-006 REP#: 121-DERELICT-AUDIO AGENT(S): AUN-326 SUBJ: VIP#1316 AND ERI-223 INTERACTIONS - HAIR

RECORDING 85592.2

[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]

"Good news! I did not break your teapot. And I brought a towel to sit under it as well as one for over so it can help to keep it hot. There is oolong in it and here is one of your mugs."

"The green one."

"Yeah, you know that based on shape, don't ya?"

"I do."

"So… you like it."

"Yes."

"And you're pretty happy with me right now, right? Like… very happy?"

"What have you done?"

"Oh come on, Moondust! What makes you think I done something?"

"The way you asked that question… So… Have you done something?"

"No. I mean… I do a lot of things… but no, I have not 'done something' done something."

"What is it you're about to do, then?"

"I… fine… what I am about to do is… ask you a question."

"That you think will offend me?"

"It… might."

"Hmmm… did you plan this?"

"Before tonight? No. In the kitchen just now? Figured now might be the time to ask since I seen how happy ya are about the teapot, yeah…"

"Hmmm… A thing you've wanted to ask me for a while, then… which might displease me… after you have given me something so thoughtful… and labour intensive… and filled with genuine love and care… that I am overwhelmed with affection for you… I wonder what terrible thing it will be… Speak… What is it?"

"Would you… while you're workin'... consider… just consider… and not because I have any problem with it at all but because I think it'd make ya feel nice, I really do…"

"You are deflecting again… what is it?"

"Would you… let me… take scissors…"

"Scissors? Interesting…"

"And… cut your hair."

"Cut my hair?"

"You clearly just slice it off with a knife whenever it gets long enough to annoy you."

"You… dislike my hair?"

"NO. That is not… No. I love your hair… but I think you… not me… you… might like it if it was a little more even so it framed your face nice…"

"You wish to alter my appearance because you think it will make me feel nice. What makes you think I wouldn't have altered it already if it was bothering me?"

"There's a difference between not botherin' and feelin' nice. You're not bothered by a lot of things that you don't do, or don't have, that would make ya feel nice if you did or had them. And you don't let anyone see your hair."

"Except you… although now I am questi-"

"NO. No. Not at all. Don't you even finish sayin' that. I love your hair. I love that you let me see your hair. You let me wash your hair… and that first time when you were upset it felt like… the closest thing to something actually sacred that I have ever experienced in all my lives."

"Sacred."

"Yeah. You trusted me with that. That was very special to me. Still is. So no. This is not about me or what I like at all. Please, please don't take it that way. I just... I saw you the other morning holding up the uneven ends of your hair… in the mirror you never normally look at…in my room."

"Hmmm… I thought you were asleep."

"And you seemed kinda self conscious about it."

"There are far more obvious things for me to feel self conscious about regarding my appearance than my hair being unevenly cut."

"I get that, but confidence stuff like that exists in layers, and little things can add up and be just as bad, if not worse, than the big ones. I'm not suggesting changing it drastically, just even it out, get it so it frames your face and… you like it short, clearly… so this would shorten it a bit and be less annoying. And I don't care if you let me do it or not. I care that you don't seriously think I don't like your hair. Because this is so completely the opposite of that. I love your hair. And I want you to love your hair as much as I do. That's where the question is coming from. Trust."

"I was actually considering asking Ikora to cut my hair. However she has no time and also likely does not have the aptitude… In amongst your many, many lives… do you… have experience… cutting hair?"

"Not a lot but… a bit though, yeah… enough that I know I'd make ya look nice.. and I think that'd make you feel pretty."

"I do not ever feel pretty. 'Pretty' died with two-eyed Eris in the Hellmouth. However, there are times you make me feel beautiful. And I think that is considerably more important, and more truthful, than any prettiness could ever be."

"Well, I ain't telling you how to feel but, if you're willing, I'd love to see if I could change your mind on that just a little. And even if I don't, I'd love it if you'd let me try."

"You may cut my hair. I have no concerns about what it looks like. You are one of the rare few who ever even sees it. You may do with it whatever you wish. I do not care. But… please do not be disappointed if I do not feel any differently about it."

"I'll be right back with scissors then."

[SILENCE 6.75 MINUTES]

"You still ok with me doing this?"

"Yes."

"Can I take this off ya while I'm doin' it?"

"Yes."

[SILENCE 3 MINUTES]

"Is this ok?"

"You haven't even cut anything yet."

"Yeah but I'm trying not to keep you from your work. You still able to work?"

"You running your fingers through my hair is very pleasant and not distracting at all. Your touch is soothing."

[SOUNDS OF SCISSORS SNIPPING INTERMITTENTLY 17 MINUTES]

"Can you put your cloths back on over your eyes? I wanna see how it falls overtop of it."

"Very well."

[SOUNDS OF SCISSORS SNIPPING INTERMITTENTLY 2.5 MINUTES]

"Wanna see?"

"If you wish."

"It's your hair, Moondust. Do you wish?"

"I do not care."

"Really? Why were you thinking of asking Ikora to cut it, if you don't care."

"For you."

"You thought I'd care?"

"I thought you might find it more appealing."

"I find you letting me touch you and cut your hair pretty appealing. It's… it's…"

"Intimate?"

"Yeah. Can I show you?"

"Very well."

"There's a mirror in that drawer."

"Hmmm…"

"You don't have any mirrors in your place on the moon. Not a one. Or at least if you do have one, it's very well hidden. Didn't want to put one up in here in case that made you uncomfortable, but also wanted to have one for you if you ever wanted."

[SILENCE 3 MINUTES]

"What do you think?"

"I like seeing your chin on my shoulder and your face beside mine."

"And the hair?"

"Hmmm…"

"Is it ok?"

"You did not change much. The alterations are very slight."

"The point was not to change something, it was to frame your face and showcase how cute you are."

"It is… more even."

"Yeah, but is it ok?"

"It is ok… I… Germaine… the way you look at me in the mirror."

"Yeah?"

"You genuinely find me… attractive."

"Yeah. I do. Of course I do."

"How?"

[SILENCE 1.25 MINUTES]

"Strength. Not just power, but power ripped from those who took yours from you and used against them. They hurt you. You hurt them back, harder.

A refusal to back down. Fierce. Yet still playful. Uncompromising. Willing to take what you need. No hesitation.

Unrelenting. Ferocious. So, so sharp. Frighteningly perceptive. Dangerous as fuck.

You wield honesty like a knife, slicing into people, cutting past bullshit, piercing 'em deep to the core, even when they don't know what's there themselves.

Precise. Loyal. Fearless. Unflinching. Deadly.

These eyes you have now are the mark of a fucking badass who has killed, and is feared by, gods.

These tears running down your cheeks are a testament to the monsters and nightmares you have hunted down and exterminated. Each drop is another demon you have destroyed.

These scars are undeniable evidence of what you are capable of, not just what you have survived.

Your scars are hope, Moondust. They are defiance. They are proof that when there is nothing left, Eris Morn will still be there, refusing to die.

I have never felt more safe, understood, and… worthy… than when I am by your side.

Does that explain the attraction to you, Moondust, in a way that makes sense? Do you see it now?

Look in that mirror. Do you see what I see when I look at you?"

[SILENCE 2.25 MINUTES]

"Yes."

"Then can you agree that you are pretty? And beautiful. And real fucking cute? Can you see it now? At least a little? Do you see what I see now? Tell me you see it. I need you to see it. I love you so much."

"Yes… and… also… I do like… what you have done with my hair. Thank you."

[SILENCE 7 MINUTES]

"We're doing that thing again."

"Mmm?"

"Where you're kissing me instead of writin' your report."

"Hmmm…"

"So… much as I do not want to. I'm gonna stop kissing you for now… so you can do your work. Want more hot water for your tea?"

"Yes. Thank you. For everything."

"You're welcome."

[SILENCE 96 MINUTES]

"Hey, lover."

"Mmmm…"

"You fell asleep while writing."

"No."

"No? Sure is what it looks like from here."

"I fell asleep after finishing writing."

"You're done? Ya finished it?"

"Yes."

"You know there's a bed right there. Four steps. You don't have to sleep on the desk."

"Hmmm…"

"You fall asleep while you're working back home all the time, don't ya?"

"Yes."

"Do you want me to carry you to the bed?"

"No."

"Ok! Ok! Just offering."

"You've said this room on your ship is mine."

"Yeah."

"So anything I leave here will remain… undisturbed, yes?"

"Yeah, of course."

"And you would never take anything from here because that would be rude and you love me."

"Yeah… I mean, I am a professional thief upon occasion, and I am very good at it, and I am also very, very rude when I put my mind to it, but no, I have no intentions of stealing anything from your room ever, and I'm tryin' very hard not to be offended that you think I might... Ah. Ha ha! I now see where this is goin'…"

"Hmmm…"

"Fine. You leave it in here, it is still in your possession. And no, I will not attempt to take it from here when it is not on your person."

"That is the correct answer."

"But I do still intend on taking my belt back, just so you know."

"But not tonight."

"Not tonight."

"Then, perhaps you could assist me with removing some of these clothes."

[END TRANSCRIPT]

This is part 1 of a small all-dialogue three part series: Remote Proximity.

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

"Hey Moondust, you know what VanNet is, right?"

"Unfortunately."

"You ever go on there?"

"Absolutely not."

"Good. Then you won't have seen this yet. Check out this video Thrysiks uploaded of hatchlings tastin' ice cream for the first time. I could almost puke it's so fuckin' adorable." "Hmmm... very well."

by Lorraine Sorlet

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

Nature valentines.

Thanks to my Patrons for your support.

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

I'm oversharing again. Transmat Firing!

i’ve fucked guys i should’ve shot in the head

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

Ok is anyone else getting strong Eris Morn vibes from this?

Because especially that last frame is just...

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

Queer as fuck reporting in here, but there's more to it than that.

This isn't about the word "queer" and it isn't about any one word.

.

.

.

Cut for lengthy discussion of language, art, writing, thought policing, slurs and fascism so anyone who does not want to, or just doesn't have the mental/emotional spoons to engage with such topics, does not need to do so.

And, as a reminder, I love you all,* regardless of whether or not you agree with me. It's a hot button topic for very good reasons and I recognize that.

(*Unless you're a sexist/racist/homophobic/transphobic douchewaffle, at which point please just block me already. I don't have time for your bullshit.)

This is a culture problem and it is two steps and a twirl away from being a *purity culture* problem because misogyny, homophobia, racism and purity culture (which is just misogyny with an extra coat of icky squicky sexuality-shaming paint) are all extremely tightly linked and the thing they are tightly linked to is: fascism.

I'm serious.

Policing language without contex, turning your brain off because actually thinking critically about something is too hard and simply going "word bad" is poison because context matters.

Context always fucking matters. Clutching pearls over the use of "queer" and calling it a slur when the word is very clearly not being used as a slur is full on George Orwell 1984 Newspeak shenanigans. Only instead of the "Ministry of Truth" removing words from language to prevent thoughtcrimes we are doing it to ourselves. Yes words can be slurs. Yes there are words that are absolutely more historically coded as slurs than others. But yes, those are still very geographically and historically dependent and that can and does change. All the time! Yes, even those words can be used in ways that are not toxic depending upon the context of their use. Yes! Even those ones!

Up to and including and especially in creative works.

Nuance, complexity, history, and yes, intent, all form context for use of a word and when you strip all that away with "word bad" and try to erase words from human language because someone did bad things with them once you. are. silencing. voices. And yes, some voices should be silenced - not because they must never be heard, but because racism, homophobia, transphobia, sexism and classism are already so damn loud those voices need a fucking mute button so everyone else can speak.

But "word bad" is not activism. "Word bad" is not calling out, nor is it calling in. If someone is using queer as a slur you will know. Yes, call that shit out. But call it out for the context in which it is used, not for the word itself. If someone is using queer as their identity you will know. And no. You shouldn't fucking shit on it and you are doing the work of the bad guys when you do.

You do not get to tell me how I identify. You do not get to take away my words.

The reason that dissolving language helps prevent thoughtcrime in 1984 (and now) is because language is how human beings think.

Attempting to erase words from people's lexicons and insisting that there is only ever one definition of a word and it is bad, and that word must never be used because that word is bad, and that intent does not matter, is an act of thought policing. I'm not being flippant here. I'm serious.

Does that mean you should go around flinging slurs about in a workplace? No. Because context matters and the context of a workplace is automatically a hierarchical framework wherein abuse of power can and does happen. Context fucking matters.

Does that mean you should tell people who openly identify as queer in their workplace (I'm assuming civilized places where existing as non-cis-heteronormative isn't a problem) to stop using that word because "no slurs in the workplace?" No. You don't get to control other people's identities. Context fucking matters.

Erasure of language is not a one-and-done thing. It creeps. It is a tool of fascism to remove words and ideas deemed 'offensive' so people don't have access to those words any more and can no longer articulate their thoughts.

It is not a way to shut down the right wing nutbars to keep them from spewing hate. It is not silencing hate speech. It is enabling it. Dissolving language leading to totalitarianism isn't just a cute science fiction story from 1949. It's literally how fascism attempts to manipulate language.

Fascists use slurs and hateful language as weapons. They make words bad and try to make you believe that the context they are choosing to use them in is the only one that matters. They take words and turn them into slurs. And then when they've convinced enough people that those words can only ever have that one meaning they have chosen, they will move on to new ones, and turn those new words into slurs. It will never stop because it's not about the words themselves. It's about control.

Pointing and yelling at someone to stop using words when used in a context that is NOT actually toxic is an attempt to remove language from people. It's doing the fascist's work for them. It's reinforcing that there can only ever be one definition of that word and that word is bad. It's an attempt to control how we articulate ourselves. It is literally thought policing.

And in some contexts, yeah, some thoughts should be policed. Not all policing is bad. People in positions of power using slurs to oppress and abuse minorities should be held accountable for that. They should be shut down. They should be silenced. Yes.

Because context fucking matters.

But, especially and in particular in creative works, you need to actually think about it. You need to engage your brain and actually fucking think: "Is this actually being used in a harmful way?" "What is the context here?"

Fascism always goes after the artists for good reason: Art makes people think. Art engages hearts and minds. Art is fundamentally an act of empathy. Art is constantly saying that context matters.

Human language is more than little black and white boxes. It's not a binary of "word good" and "word bad." Language is fluid and it has nuance and complexity and it can mean multiple things at the same time and it is possible to use words that some people feel are bad in ways that are not bad.

Yes, even if some people get upset because a specific word makes them feel bad. Yes, even when they have very good historically accurate reasons for feeling bad about that word. No, you are not allowed to tell them how to feel. No, you are not allowed to say they should just suck it up. Yes, you should care.

And yes, if the only reason you're using a word is purely to hurt someone that's shitty. And yes, systemic racism/sexism/homophobia/transphobia exists and use of langauge can reinforce that. And yes, dismantling that is important and valued and very much needed. Yes.

But that does not mean erasing language. That means paying attention to what language you use and when you use it. That means critically thinking about how you use your words and when and where you use them, not removing words from your lexicon. Because context matters.

Queer was at one point a slur. You absolutely can still use it as a slur. But it's also how I identify and I do not identify as a slur. And you are allowed to use it, and I encourage you to use it, as long as you are not using it as a slur.

Because context. fucking. matters.

"Don't you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought? In the end we shall make thought-crime literally impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it. Every concept that can ever be needed will be expressed by exactly one word, with its meaning rigidly defined and all its subsidiary meanings rubbed out and forgotten. . . . The process will still be continuing long after you and I are dead. Every year fewer and fewer words, and the range of consciousness always a little smaller. Even now, of course, there's no reason or excuse for committing thought-crime. It's merely a question of self-discipline, reality-control. But in the end there won't be any need even for that. . . . Has it ever occurred to you, Winston, that by the year 2050, at the very latest, not a single human being will be alive who could understand such a conversation as we are having now?" ― George Orwell, 1984

*deep breath*

Rant done.

Thank you to anyone who has read this far.

We will now return to our scheduled Destiny 2 Drifter & Eris Morn fanfiction shenanigans.

Everything is like “QUEER history” and “List of QUEER young adult books” or “Top 10 QUEER movies” and queer this and queer that and for the love of god please just say LGBT.

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

I share some of these and have put them in fanfiction.

Specifically, I've had Drifter & Eris dancing in a rave-like club scene in an abandoned church (to what is basically Eliksni Infected Mushroom "music splicers") as well as both using Stasis to cool food (Drifter used it for champagne to do the slice-the-top-of-the-bottle-off with a blade trick, Eris refridgerated sandwiches).

Excellent list. I will add:

Using Arc to spot-weld metal to metal

Stasis to freeze, and then Solar to sublimate, a puddle of water rather than mopping it up

Stasis for stabilizing broken bones and to stop bleeding when in a Darkness zone and/or when the use of a Ghost to heal is way to risky/might take too long, or someone doesn't have a ghost (or in the case of the Drifter - he just doesn't wanna)

Stasis (frost armour) to mask the inherent Light of a Lightbearer and hide from large volumes of Hive (there's some lore that Hive can see Light and hunt down Lightbearers who are trying to hide - like Eris Morn's fireteam in the Hellmouth)

Use of Void light because "I dunno, I just felt purple today"

Some Guardian headcanons that I’ve implemented into my works (or plan to) for worldbuilding that somehow make sense

- Rave culture and PLUR is alive and well. Especially the underground scene.

- CD and DVD collecting is a common hobby.

- It’s not uncommon to see a Warlock giving a seminar at a university or teaching for small children.

- Some Titans volunteer at nursing homes and hospitals to help with carrying heavy things

- Retired Guardians or Guardians who’ve lost their Ghosts either take up normal civilian jobs or just go off-grid entirely to live peaceful lives.

- All newly-risen Guardians are given the opportunity to have housing in the city upon getting revived for the first time to help them get on their feet. Most guardians take this offer up, but either move on to nicer apartments/houses or live in their ship.

- Sparrow “car” shows are held in the same way middle aged men today do them.

- Guardian fashion/modeling shows for civilians to watch. These shows have recently become popular with the Neomuni as well.

- Terrorizing Fallen and Hive with loud music is a common sight.

- Using the Light to manifest mundane tools and items; ie, making a pancake spatula made out of solar light when a Hunter doesn’t have the energy to empty their dishwasher.

- Using Stasis to act as a cooler for drinks.

- Using Strand to act as string or tool to fix things. Strand macrame pot holders are an up and coming trend currently.

- “Smash or Pass: Raid Boss Edition” is a common way to get to know another fellow Guardian. It’s gone into the same category as “What’s your favorite color?”

- Hunters and Warlocks are typically very good with cardio

- Awoken and Exo Guardians act as flashlights or glow sticks for their Human fireteam members.

Bonus:

There used to be a time where children took field trips to the Tower (pre-D2), but it had to stop because there were too many Guardians throwing themselves off of the ledge and that traumatized too many kids and teachers.

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

"Oooooh! I love listening to you talk."

"And I enjoy your silence."

this is one of my favorite english words. and what i aim to become.

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

who’s up thinking about after the threesome they both take you home by sue hyon bae i’m thinking about after the threesome they both take you home by sue hyon bae

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

Decided to draw a comic of how I hope ‘Heresy’ ends.

It was a lot of fun, but wow am I not great at drawing people.

Hopefully the formatting doesn’t get mixed up!

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

NOOOOOO ERIS I'M SO SORRY

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

Bungie. Bungie you fucking Bitch

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

literally want all my thoughts to be narrated by The Drifter

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

If you um... want more suggestions for these two kissing... please do let me know...

It’s …. Finally done.

I’m so honored to receive a request to do artwork!! I asked for a challenge and @erisxdrifter did not disappoint!

She’s got a story in the making so make sure you go follow her! 💚🐍🌕

P.S. I need to practice kissing poses…. The original piece of paper this drawing was quite thin after the amount of ERASING I did. 🤣

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

So writers joke a lot about "drinking the tears of our readers", but I want to be so honest with you when I tell you that making you cry isn't our real goal. Making you feel is.

Kicking your feet? Giggling? Can't stop smiling? And yes, crying? Feeling anything, everything. That's our goal. That means we did The Job.