#hes probably taken in by a village for the first month or so and he slowly starts to settle. until he sees the first buglin 😭

[hydrachop]

scape and run parasites oc. his name is suri. hes some kind of interdimensional creature. he fled from his dimension to the overworld when it was overrun by parasites, but in his panic and desperation to leave, he didnt realize he had brought the parasites with him.

but even in his grief, he had sworn to stay and fight the infestation, and never run again. but with his knowledge and understanding of the parasites, he could be the key to reclaiming the overworld before it is taken over.

hes smart but he isnt very nice, at least not outwardly. hes been through a lot but he has good intentions. hes hardy, too, and capable of taking down most basic parasites on his own, and uses their shells and carapace to make armor.

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

Hot take maybe but I think Bertie would be FAR more likely to survive the first two months of Dracula than Jeeves would be. Bertie has a healthy sense of self-preservation. Jeeves consistently underestimates how dangerous a situation might get (Steeple Bumpleigh, the club book) because he’s overconfident about his level of control over any given situation. He'd handle Dracula masterfully if they faced off in England, but on Dracula's home turf? Much more doubtful.

I realize this might be a tough sell, so I will explain further (or it's not a tough sell, and I'm going to explain further because I want to). (criteria taken from @canyourfavesurvivecastledracula) Without further ado.

Would Jeeves and Wooster survive Castle Dracula?

Jeeves

Jeeves' survival will depend on how long Dracula finds him more entertaining than irritating. On that basis, I don't think he's long for this world. On the one hand, he has a huge wealth of knowledge about English society and culture that he can recite perfectly from memory. That should buy him at least a little time with noted teaboo Dracula.

On the other hand, he would be absolutely no fun as a vampire plaything. Jeeves cannot be got. Sneaking up on him while he's shaving will yield zero reaction (though that's at least good for his short-term survival--given that, although he DID take the crucifix from the old woman out of politeness, he certainly isn't going to wear it. The rules of fashion don't go out the window just because you're in a spooky castle). Then, although managing the whims of rich jerks is not an insignificant part of a valet's job, Jeeves usually does this by bending his employers to his will. Dracula is not the sort of employer this will work on. It'll just add insult to injury when on top of being impossible to scare, NOW Jeeves is telling Dracula that his favorite cloak is several centuries out of fashion and he's not allowed to wear it anymore.

Jeeves will 100% go exploring in the areas he was told not to go-- though to be fair, he MIGHT actually get away with this, what with his superpower of appearing in rooms without being seen or heard. Said superpower might save him from the brides as well (though this is by no means guaranteed). Since I find it doubtful that Dracula would come to rescue his annoying ass, not being noticed is his best defense.

There are a couple other things working in Jeeves's favor; the question is just whether they'll be enough to save him.

He DOES know shorthand, and could try to send coded letters. He might even have the foresight to squirrel away some extra stationary where Dracula can't find it. But could he get them posted? Would it even do him any good?

He certainly has enough cultural literacy to figure out what his new boss is pretty quickly. If he didn't chuck the crucifix out the carriage window, he might start carrying it around in his pocket.

Psychology of the individual, sure, but the individual in question is a 400-year-old vampire who lives in an isolated castle in a foreign country and is regarded as a terrifying mythological figure in the surrounding villages. Jeeves has never come up against anything this alien before, he's cut off from his normal resources, and opportunities to play people against each other are limited.

He probably has enough upper body strength from all that shrimping and fishing to climb the wall, so he COULD escape if he wanted to, if he survived long enough. It's just, again, that overconfidence, and also Dracula has a vast library full of rare old books that are entirely at his disposal. He's keeping his eyes and ears alert for potential escape strategies, of course, but I don't see him being as desperate to get out as Jonathan was.

There are just a lot of "depends on"s here, and I'm not convinced that luck would shake out in Jeeves's favor, all things considered.

Bertie

Bertie is so perfect for the job of Castle Dracula Prisoner it's like it was made for him. Think about it. Being held against his will in big manor houses comes more naturally to him than breathing. He's afraid of things that are scary. A lifetime of dealing with Aunt Agatha has made him the world's preeminent expert in "curl[ing] up in a ball in the hope that a meek subservience [will] enable [him] to get off lightly." He will NEVER go exploring in places he's been warned away from if nobody is forcing him to (Rev. Aubrey Upjohn's office notwithstanding. There were biscuits in there). He's both fun to talk to and easy to toy with (and extremely English). A+ prisoner. Dracula adores him.

In my opinion, Bertie is at Castle Dracula either because Aunt Agatha got some wires seriously crossed and thinks he’s going to meet an eligible potential bride (I mean, there are certainly brides there), or because Dracula has something Aunt Dahlia wants him to steal (far less likely, given that one of Dracula’s THINGS is famously not owning anything silver). Either way, he's shown himself entirely willing and able to escape down drainpipes if a sitch gets too scaly.

He DOES take the crucifix, and DOES wear it (which is what will save him during the shaving scene, because you KNOW he's going to jump a foot and cut himself like the dickens). He's read enough supernatural goosefleshers to be genre savvy about terrified old women cryptically pushing crucifixes into one's hands. I also think his sunny disposish endeared him to the villagers, and they were particularly vehement about urging him not to go. He doesn't speak German or Romanian, but he's empathetic enough to recognize Pure Terror. So by the time he actually gets to the castle, his imagination is already running wild and he's plenty aware that he is in imminent danger.

I think the biggest risk to Bertie will be the brides; whether or not he's susceptible to trances, if he thinks they're trying to marry him, it's against the code of the Woosters to turn them down. But that only becomes an issue if he comes face to face with them, which, luckily, I think is unlikely on account of the aforementioned "won't go exploring" (and if he did, Dracula would definitely rescue him).

I'm inclined to say due to his drainpipe-escape habits that he WOULD be able to climb the wall and MAY attempt to sneak into Dracula's room to look for the keys if his desperation grows to outweigh his fear. Whether he does or not, though, he does NOT have the stomach to attempt shovel murder, and therefore won't get magic brain fever, and may very well simply walk out the front doors when the people come to take the boxes away. OR he climbs his way out like Jonathan did. Either way.

When Bertie tells this story at the Drones later, Tuppy will say that no doubt it's been greatly exaggerated and all that probably happened was that he spent a couple months in an oldish house entertaining a weird loner.

[parkerslatte]

Incompatible | Part One

Eris Vanserra x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: none

Summary: Y/N Archeron was a human living in the land of the fae. For her own protection, the Inner Circle keeps her in Velaris, safe and protected. One day, Azriel invites her to a meeting after seeing her close into herself more and more. There she meets the one who flips her whole life upside down.

A/N: This is a request from @talesofadragon , thank you so much for sending it in, it definitely helped with my writers block :) also this will have a second part and possibly a third so keep an eye on for those soon!

A Court of Thorns and Roses Masterlist

•••

Y/N Archeron remembered the day she returned to the house her two younger sisters lived in and found it completely destroyed. It had only been three months since she had last visited as making the journey across the human lands was a tiring one that Y/N did not make very often. Far from the village her sisters lived in, Y/N lived mostly alone with a large stretch of farmlands and woodlands. The closest neighbour to her was nearly a mile down the road. But Y/N liked that, she liked the peace living on the farm brought her. 

After she moved when she was freshly eighteen, Y/N sent most of her earnings to her family and lived off of the bare minimum. But she was happy, probably happier than she had been in a while. 

Now years on from that, at twenty-eight, Y/N continued to sit at the table in the town house and watched the world go by. She tried to concentrate on her book or anything else but she couldn’t, her mind was elsewhere. It always was this past year. Occasionally someone would walk by but Y/N made no effort to make conversation. All she wanted to do was leave the damned house. 

Y/N was only a human living in the land of the fae. When she first arrived, she was happy. She was back with her sisters and she was in a new place to explore. At first, Rhys allowed her to walk the streets of Velaris, browsing the shops and market stalls. Soon that transitioned to her needing an escort wherever she went and very soon after that, it turned into Y/N being locked up in whatever house everyone decided that week. Today was the town house. She knew that her family were only looking out for her and only wanted to protect her. After all, Y/N was not immortal. She was not fae. She could bruise easily, was far weaker than anyone else around her. 

Y/N sighed yet again and threw the book in her hands to the floor. She didn’t understand why she was here anymore. Y/N knew that she was of no use to anyone around her, she felt more like an inconvenience if anything. They should have just taken her back to her own damned farm.

“Hey,” Azriel said, approaching the eldest Archeron. “I came to check on you.”

“Of your own free will or because you were forced to?” Y/N snapped back. She instantly felt guilty. Since she was brought to Velaris, Azriel had been nothing but kind to her. They all had but he was the only one who had gone out of his way to talk with her everyday. Her sisters had stopped doing that when they had either begun their own families or had gone travelling. 

“My own free will if you really want to know,” Azriel said and sat down in the chair next to hers. He glanced down at the book on the floor. “Did the book really deserve that?”

“It probably deserved a lot more than that,” Y/N said, bringing her legs up onto the chair. She looked back out of the window.

Azriel sighed. “Y/N, look, I know that you don’t want to be here–”

“What gave you that impression?” Y/N interrupted.

Azriel simply ignored her. “But you are safe here.”

“I could have been safe at my farm,” Y/N said. “There was no need to bring me here. Feyre and Nesta are both busy with their families to sit with me anymore. Elain is busy travelling the continent with Lucien. I don’t have any friends here–”

“I am your friend, Y/N,” Azriel interrupted her. “And all we are trying to do is protect you. The whole of Prythian knows that there is another Archeron sister and they all know that you are human. If anyone were to get to you, it would put you as well as your sisters in danger. Because you know that they would do anything to get you back safe.”

Y/N sighed. “I know but this is not a life, Azriel. All I do is sit indoors and waste away. I am not even allowed to go outside anymore. Whenever there is a meeting happening, I am sent away to the furthest possible room. I feel like a prisoner, Azriel. You may not see it, but it is how I feel.”

Azriel sighed and stood up.

“Where are you going?” Y/N said. 

“To a meeting,” Azriel answers. 

Y/N huffed and turned back to the window. Her eyes burned with unshed tears. “Have fun.”

Y/N expected to hear Azriel’s retreating footsteps but she didn’t. Slowly she turned her head and found him standing there, his hand outstretched. 

“What?” Y/N asked.

“Are you coming or not?” Azriel asked. 

Hope lit up Y/N’s heart. “You’re serious?”

“Deadly,” Azriel said. 

Y/N stood up and threw her arms around the shadowsinger, nearly knocking him off balance. “What will the others say?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Azriel said. “If they say anything, let me deal with it.”

“Thank you!” Y/N exclaimed, pulling back from Azriel.

Azriel chuckled. “Don’t thank me yet. You are going to hate it once you realise how boring these meetings are.”

“I don’t care,” Y/N said as Azriel began to lead her to the meeting hall. “As long as I can actually be involved in something, I’ll find entertainment in anything.”

As soon as Azriel opened the door to the meeting hall, all eyes were on her. Y/N didn’t shrink away, she lifted her chin and looked around proudly. There weren’t many in the room at all, in fact there was only one new face amongst everyone else. Y/N studied him and, upon inspection, decided that he was the most beautiful man she had ever laid eyes on. His copper hair sat neatly on top of his head, a singular strand falling across his forehead. His fashion sense was immaculate and Y/N wanted to study the embroidery on his jacket up close. 

As Y/N moved her gaze back to the man’s face, she found him looking at her, a smirk pulling at his lips. Y/N gave him a small smile. 

A chair scraped across the floor, drawing Y/N’s attention away. 

“Azriel, what is she doing here?” Rhys asked, his voice low and deadly as he spoke to Azriel.

“I thought she could sit in on a meeting,” Azriel shrugged, pulling out a chair for Y/N. One directly across from the handsome man. “You and everyone else made Y/N read books on fae politics, so I thought she could see a political meeting in person.”

Rhys tried to remain calm but Y/N could easily see the anger and tension slipping through the cracks. 

Cassian was the next to speak up. “Az is right Rhys. Y/N must learn about all of this at some point. And there’s nothing like the present.”

Rhys’s gaze hardened on Cassian before he turned back to face Y/N. He offered her a small, barely there smile. “Very well.”

The stares of her two sisters burned into Y/N as she looked down at the table. Y/N hadn’t seen Feyre and Nesta in at least three weeks, but Y/N had to admit that by fae standards, three weeks was not a long time. But to Y/N it was, especially when there was barely anything she could do to pass the time. 

The chair next to Y/N scraped across the floor and Azriel sat down next to her. Y/N turned her head to look at him.

Thank you, she mouthed. 

Azriel gave her a small nod before he turned his attention to Rhys as he began to speak up. Y/N had to admit to herself that she did not find any of what Rhys was saying particularly interesting, but she still felt glad to finally be included in something. 

The meeting felt like it had drawled on forever and Y/N had learnt to block everyone out. Though, if Y/N had to admit to herself, whenever the man with copper hair spoke, she found herself tuning into the conversation just to hear his voice. Not only was he the most beautiful man she had ever laid eyes on, his voice was the most beautiful she had ever heard. Y/N wasn’t sure if one could fall in love with the sound of someone’s voice but she already had. 

Y/N shuffled in her chair and finally looked up from where she was looking at the small crack in the table. Her back ached from her lack of movement and the uncomfortable seat she had found herself in. The sun outside had begun to go down, casting the room in a faint orange glow. The expression on Y/N’s face saddened as she looked at the sunset. All she wanted to do was go outside and bask in the sun on her own. She wanted her own place to live without the constant feeling of being babysat. All Y/N wanted was her own life back. 

Cassian cleared his throat and it interrupted Y/N from her own thoughts. As she zoned back in, she made eye contact with the handsome man again. He was looking directly at her, a gleam in his eyes that seemed like…concern. Y/N didn’t avert her gaze. Something within her made her not want to look away. She was swimming in his eyes and she would happily drown if she had no other choice. 

The corner of the man’s mouth twitched and Y/N couldn’t help but mimic that movement, fighting the urge to smile. Nothing had made her smile properly in a while but just simply from looking at this man, she wanted to smile, share that experience with him. Y/N pressed her lips into a thin line and averted her gaze, only for a quick second. As her eyes met the man’s once more, a small smile pulled at his lips.

“Eris,” Rhys interrupted and the man reluctantly looked away from Y/N. 

“What?” The man, now known to Y/N as Eris, said sharply. “Sorry, what did you say?”

Rhys’s gaze flicked between Eris and Y/N and his gaze darkened the smallest amount. “I asked you if there was anything else you wished to discuss.”

Eris leaned back in his chair. “Actually there is one thing. I would like to know the name of the beautiful woman I have not been introduced to yet.”

Rhys rolled his eyes. “Her name is–”

Eris held up his hand, cutting Rhys off. “Ah, I did not ask you for her name.” Eris turned his attention to Y/N. “I would like her to introduce herself.”

Y/N briefly glanced at her sisters. Their expressions did not give away much but for some reason Y/N had a feeling that neither of them wanted her to introduce herself. It only made Y/N want to do it more.

Y/N plastered a bright smile on her face as she faced Eris once more. “I’m Y/N Archeron.”

“Y/N,” Eris repeated, her name sounding like poetry on his tongue. “A beautiful name to match such a woman.”

Y/N’s smile only brightened. 

“Now all introductions are over, I will see you out, Eris,” Rhys said. 

“I can see myself out Rhysand,” Eris replied, standing from his chair. “Although I would not complain if the beautiful Y/N walked me out.”

Y/N felt Eris’s eyes bore into hers and she couldn’t help the heat that rose to her cheeks. 

“I–” Y/N began to speak but she was cut off by Rhys.

“She will not escort you out, Eris,” Rhys said.

“I’m sure Y/N can speak for herself, Rhysand,” Eris said, his eyes not leaving Y/N’s. 

Reluctantly, Y/N shifted her gaze from Eris to Rhys. The High Lord’s violet eyes hardened and Y/N knew exactly what that look meant. It was a warning. Y/N then looked at her two sisters. Feyre did not seem to mind as she slightly nodded at Y/N. Nesta only looked at Rhys’s annoyed expression in amusement. Y/N looked at Cassian and Azriel. While they didn’t say anything, the protective look in their eyes said enough. Though as her gaze met Azriel’s he shrugged. Do what you want, his look seemed to say. It doesn’t mean that I need to like it.

Y/N turned back to face Eris. “I’ll escort you out.”

Instead of a smirk, Eris plastered a pleasant smile upon his handsome face. Y/N pushed back her chair, it scraped loudly against the floor. She could feel the eyes of everyone on her yet she was only focused on one. As she walked around the table to meet Eris, he offered her his arm. Y/N took it gracefully, feeling the hard muscle beneath his jacket. 

As soon as they were outside of the meeting room, Y/N let out a long breath. She looked at Eris to find him already looking at her. 

“I can feel how suffocated you are,” Eris said, his eyebrow knitting together in concern. “I know the feeling all too well myself.”

Y/N sighed. “This is honestly the first time I have ever been allowed to do anything on my own in a long time.”

“I cannot imagine how that must feel,” Eris said. “If I were in your shoes, I would simply run for the hills.”

Y/N’s lips twitched. “Don’t you think I’ve thought of doing that?”

“I don’t see why you don’t,” Eris said, as they finally stepped outside. Y/N lingered in the threshold of the doors. Eris’s concern seemed to heighten. “How long has it been since you have been outside?”

“Well only a few days since I moved from the House of Wind to here,” Y/N said. “But actually being outside and feeling the sun on my skin, quite a while.”

Eris scoffed. “Moved around? You are not a piece of furniture.You are a human being.”

“Exactly,” Y/N replied. “A human being. I am not fae. I am not safe if I am to live and walk around in daylight.”

“That is no way to live,” Eris said. 

“It is the way I have been living for nearly four years now,” Y/N said. 

“Well why don’t you and I change that,” Eris said, trailing his hand down Y/N’s arm to intertwine their fingers together. Y/N smiled as she felt his warm palm against hers. “Step out into the sun with me.”

“But it is sunset,” Y/N commented.

“It is said that that is when the sun looks the most beautiful,” Eris replied, nodding his head in the direction of the large hill obscuring their view of the sunset. “We will get a perfect view just up there.”

“I don’t know,” Y/N said, stepping back from Eris, though she didn’t release his hand. She didn’t want to release his hand. The warmth she felt from it was unlike any other. 

“Don’t do that,” Eris said softly.

“Do what?” Y/N asked.

“Shrink into yourself,” Eris said, lightly pulling her so she stood close to him. “Come with me. It is only over the hill after all. I can walk you back here safely after.”

Eris’s expression held no ill intent and deep down Y/N already knew that for reasons she couldn’t explain. Y/N nodded her head slowly. A wide smile spread across Eris’s face and Y/N couldn’t help herself but smile back. His smile was infectious. 

Together they stepped out of the townhouse and Eris led her further away from the building. Y/N’s eyes lit up as she felt the warm sun on her skin. They stopped at the top of the hill as Y/N’s eyes widened in wonder. It had been a while since she had seen such a beautiful sight. 

“I have to admit that this sight is rather beautiful,” Eris commented. “But the sights in Autumn are even better.”

Y/N turned her attention to Eris. “Perhaps I can see them one day?”

Eris smiled. “I would happily take you now if you wanted.”

The smile fell from Y/N’s face. She glanced back towards the townhouse. “I would love that, but…”

Eris glanced at the house. “They won’t let you.”

“It is their way of making sure I am protected, though I just feel trapped all the damn time,” Y/N said. “I hate feeling useless and that my life has no meaning. I rarely see my sisters because they are busy with their own families or travelling. I am not even allowed to train to pass the time, I am considered too delicate apparently, even for the training dummies. I just want to finally leave this court. I want to go back to my farm.”

“Your farm?” Eris asked.

“Before my sisters were turned into fae, I lived on my own farm hundreds of miles away. I sent most of the money I made to my sisters. I lived on the basics but I was happy,” Y/N explained. “I would kill to go back there.”

“Why don’t you?” 

“Well everyone inside of that house for starters but by now I am sure it is run down. I didn’t have anyone to help out on the farm, only the occasional person passing through if they were in need of work,” Y/N explained. “I am sure that it is not the cosy home it used to be by now and if I’m being honest, I do not have the motivation to even think about remodelling it.”

“What if you had help?” Eris suggested. 

A small smile creeped onto Y/N’s face. “Eris, are you offering to help me?”

“Perhaps I am,” Eris replied, taking a small step closer. “And if I was, Y/N Archeron, what would your answer be?”

“I would say–”

“Y/N!” Rhys called from the townhouse. 

Y/N rolled her eyes and turned to look at Rhys. He stood in the doorway with his arms folded across his chest. Y/N sighed. “I should get back inside now.”

As Y/N went to take a step back but Eris gently gripped her hand. “I take it that it would be impossible to convince you to come with me.”

“It wouldn’t be impossible to convince me,” Y/N said. “But convincing the Inner Circle to allow me out of sight is near impossible.”

Eris briefly looked at Rhys before looking back at Y/N. “Maybe I can convince them.”

Y/N laughed. “I’d like to see you try.”

“I take that as a challenge,” Eris smirked. “Mark my words, Y/N, that by this time three days from now, I will get you out of that house.”

Y/N linked her fingers through Eris’s. “Well I cannot wait until you do.”

Eris lifted her hand and pressed his lips against her knuckles. “I will look forward to seeing you again, Y/N.”

“Y/N,” Rhys said, interrupting Y/N from responding. 

“Rhys,” Y/N greeted. 

Rhys turned to Eris. “I see that my sister-in-law has escorted you out, maybe it is time for you to take your leave, Eris.”

“I was just leaving,” Eris replied, a gleam in his eye. “I have a very important letter to write tonight.”

Eris slipped his hand away from Y/N’s but Y/N found herself wanting to take his once more. The immediate coolness that wrapped around her hand was far from pleasant and she missed the warmth Eris provided. 

“I will see you very soon, Y/N,” Eris said, that gleam still shining brightly in his eyes. He turned on his heel and walked away without turning back. The light shone on his copper hair and Y/N wanted nothing more than to follow him. 

Rhys offered his arm to Y/N. “Let’s get back inside.”

“Before someone sees?” Y/N replied sharply. She walked ahead of Rhys the short distance to the town house. Though she felt a fluttering in her stomach and waited in anticipation to see if Eris’s words would come true. 

[kismets-barista]

Lil Brozone, Floyd- centric oneshot for y'all's enjoyment!

Spoilery for Band Together, so if you're still awaiting watching the movie I'd suggest waiting to read, my friends! Have a lovely night!

Five months, twenty eight days.

That’s how long it had taken him to be able to walk without having to stop for breath.

Floyd was fully recovering, slowly but surely. After moving back to Pop Village, there’d been nothing for him except plenty of rest, John Dory’s incessant mother henning (seriously, that guy was the textbook definition of Anxiety even if he continued to deny it,) and help from his brothers to recuperate. They’d laid off on any public performances, putting aside thoughts of the word tour for later on. Way later on. 

But today was the day. Finally the day they’d decided to put on a public performance, a day that had all of them on their toes with preparations for the five song ‘concert.’ The energy buzzing in the air was something Floyd had missed, but the troll could honestly barely concentrate on how excited he was as his chest filled with sticky, sludgy feelings of dread. The magenta-haired troll sat in front of his light-rimmed vanity mirror, staring back at the shock of white that ran from the roots of his hair and up to the middle. 

He thought he’d gotten over this. 

It wasn’t going to change. It was evident that his hair, along with himself, had permanently changed as a result of that capture. Of his death. 

And pretty much everyone in the village knew that it was a result of something. A bad something. 

Some of them, Cooper specifically, had outright asked. But he didn’t have the best buffer, so Floyd couldn’t find it in his heart to be mad. Others had given him looks, even staring as he began to get out of the house those first months. He could remember the eyes trained on him as John Dory slowly helped him along, talking about an adventure he’d gone on way ‘back in his day,’ as he liked to call it. Floyd had kept to himself, mostly, until John Dory noticed how quiet his brother was being and did something the younger couldn’t.

He stared back at the trolls. Sure, it probably planted the seeds of assumption that John Dory was every bit as standoffish as Branch used to be, but Floyd had to admire his brother’s determination to keep him comfortable. 

“Ten minutes til final soundchecks!” Mayday (Brozone’s stage director’s) voice cut through the silence, and Floyd jerked out of his reverie. He sighed, opening the drawer to his desk and fished through a thousand hair products and ties to pull out a fluffy, white scrunchy. Maybe pulling it up would help lessen the… amount of times people had to see his hair. Floyd let out another sigh as he pulled up his hair, staring himself down in the mirror as he twisted it every which way. “Come on… there’s gotta be some way I can make you look normal again,” he whispered fiercely, tugging on his hair harder as desperation bubbled in his chest. Every way he moved it, white, white, white. The young troll’s hands began to shake as he started to tie it up, tears pricking the corners of his eyes as his breathing shortened. 

How could he go out there looking like this? It’s bad enough as it is, why did he think for a second that today would be any different with how he felt about this… this awful hair of his? 

He considered flaking on his brothers as his breaths began to come out in short gasps. A thousand different excuses flitted through his mind, and Floyd began to grasp at them, one by one. He wasn’t feeling well. He was exhausted again. He couldn’t catch his breath quite right - no, that one would send them into a panic, probably. The thoughts crescendoed, and Floyd yanked on the scrunchie a bit too hard. It snapped, and rebounded on his hand. Causing the duo-tone haired-troll to yelp in pain. He flicked his head in the air, waving off the sting before letting his head sink down to rest on the top of the vanity. He was getting himself way too worked up… this wasn’t going to help anything. He needed to do this show. Needed to prove that he was… fine. Well. As fine as he could be.

“This is for all the lonely people…” he whisper-sang to himself, voice breathy as he steadied his pounding heart. Pulling on his fingers gently. “Thinking that life has passed us by…”

“We won’t give up until we, drink from that silver cup, and ride…” Floyd’s voice tapered off as he frowned, momentum to sing even to himself puttering off. Today was supposed to be a happy day. But here he slumped, moping like someone had just kicked a box of kittens in front of him.

“Ride that highway in the sky.” The lyric lifted softly as a question, and the troll sat up and looked behind himself in confusion. His face lit up at the sight of Branch, his baby brother leaning against the doorframe with his arms loosely crossed against each other.

“Oh, Branch. Hey.” Floyd offered him a grin, to which his younger brother readily responded with one of his own. 

“Hey. Was looking for you. JD wanted us to have a little meeting or whatever before our final soundchecks for the show so I came to get you. How’re you feeling?” He asked while walking over, sitting near his brother. Taking in everything about the older troll, inquisitive blue eyes flitting over the top of Floyd’s hair and down to his toes.

“I’m fine,” Floyd shrugged, stretching as he stood. Paused as he realized that saying ‘I’m fine’ was not an appropriate response, as Branch had told him so many times before. Practically drilled it into his head, at this point. He cut Branch off before his younger brother could say anything by shaking his head and letting out a loud “I meant- I meant that I’m feeling really good. I’m excited for the show, I slept plenty last night so I’m not tired, and I stretched this morning so I’m not achy like I usually am when I wake up.”

He could visibly see Branch’s tightly-wound demeanor relax, and the younger troll stood to join his brother as they headed out of the dressing room.

“Great. Now come on. They’re not too far away.”

And it was only when they made it into the break room, overstuffed couches laden with throw pillows and the ground practically made of mismatched rugs that Floyd realized all of his brothers had hair caps on. They’d happily yelled out his name when he walked in, and Branch had guided the troll over to a couch to sit down before nodding at JD, who’d been chuckling at the fact that Floyd was staring at them as if they all had grown second heads. 

“How ya feelin’, bro-bro? Ready for BroZone’s big debut into Pop Village?”

“Well, when you put it like that, admittedly nervous. But excited, all the same. I’ve missed singing with you all, truly.” He smiled up at his older brothers, who, upon hearing that, all exchanged a look. They nodded at each other, and Bruce took a deep breath while reaching up to the cap covering his hair.

“Well, buddy, we’ve got a bit of a pre-show gift for you,” he started.

“We know how much your hair means to you, and how hard the change has been on you,” Clay continued.

“So we wanted to do a little something just to remind you that you aren’t alone, with how you’re feeling. No matter how hard it may be at times,” Branch finished, and all four of them pulled off their hair caps after JD counted down from three.

And Floyd instantly burst into tears.

Streaking through each of their hair was bold white streaks, the color dyed at the roots of their hair and stretching up and up, just like Floyd’s. It looked natural- how did they do that? 

A million thoughts were running through his mind, but Floyd couldn’t grasp at a single one as the tears continued to pour down his face. He reached out to them, and his brothers were all surrounding him, hugging him tightly. 

“Surprise,” Branch sang softly, and Floyd grabbed onto his arm, squeezing it tightly as he hugged him. He was making his best attempt to hug everyone, which, seeing as it was four full-grown trolls was a bit hard- but the appreciative smile that was plastered onto his face like the sun piercing through a veil of thick clouds was hard to miss. He continued to cry into the hug, emotions overwhelming him as he went from sobs, to weeping that had the four of them pulling him down from the couch and to the ground and up into their arms. 

It took him a few minutes to pull himself together enough to wipe his eyes, but when he did, Floyd gave his brothers the most grateful look he could manage. He didn’t expect to see them crying, too, but it was clear that he’d affected them by crying so hard- and, the fact that they’d already been having a hard time keeping it together even before surprising him with the monumental change. Trolls didn’t just dye their hair- tinsel and extensions were normal in Pop Village but to physically change it like that? It was almost taboo.

“Man, I love you guys so much. I can’t believe you’d just… do that. For me. It means… it means so much.” His voice wavered as he broke down into tears again, but forced himself to reel it in as John Dory patted his back with a big grin.

“Believe it, bro. We’d go to the ends of the earth for you, this wasn’t nothin’ but a stone’s throw across the water if you ask me.”

“What’d I do to deserve such good brothers?” Floyd laughed tearfully, and Clay ruffled his hair gently. “Some would say you were born into this family. And that’s how you got such good brothers.”

The younger troll laughed, taking his brother’s hand and squeezing it tightly.

“Okay, that was a little cheesy,” Floyd chuckled. “But I gotta ask, who��”

“It was John Dory’s idea,” Bruce boasted proudly for the older troll, who’s ears turned bright red as he looked away.

“Dah, anything for my little brother,” he tried to play it off. But Floyd wasn’t having any of that. The younger troll dove into his older brother, pulling him into a hug. He was followed by his four other brothers, who practically dogpiled him and fell on top of each other. A stunned silence befell the brothers before they burst into laughter, and Floyd could feel a massive weight he didn’t even know that was sitting on his chest lift and dissipate. And he knew right then and there that no matter how down he was feeling about himself, how bad everything could get at times, he would always have his brothers to rely on. There were going to be much, much brighter days ahead.

“I love you guys. So much.” “We love you too, Floyd. Don’t you forget it.”

And he wouldn’t. He never would. 

[aaizawashouta]

Welcome Home

pairing: jiraiya x fem!reader

word count: 2.3k

summary: you're there every time to welcome him home, until the one time you're not.

warnings: smut (18+ minors dni) fingering, p in v, cream pie

Touch and go is how your relationship has always been. You’ve never complained. Always welcoming him home with open arms, ears eager to hear of his travels. The closer he gets back to Konoha the more he can taste your perfume—hints of honey and coconut twirling on his tongue. He’s been gone longer than usual this time. It’s made him antsy. His hands twitch at his side as he walks through the village. He feels almost desperate to get home, something that’s never happened before.

He’s never taken advantage of you, never sought you out for only pleasure. He’s never talked about his feelings, so sure that you understood. Given, you’ve never talked about your feelings either. Jiraiya, the fool that he is, thought all was well. Except for the fact that you aren’t there when he gets home. From the looks of it, you haven’t been there for a while. It’s okay. It’s okay. Everything is fine. He’ll find you eventually.

Everything is not fine. It’s not okay. He’s losing his damned mind trying to find you. It’s been two days. Where could you possibly be? That’s when he sees him. Jiraiya’s eyes narrow as he tracks him, walking along the village without a care in the world, nose shoved deep into the book he’s emerged himself in. It’s not long before he’s caught up with Kakashi. They walk along in silence for a while, Jiraiya’s hands clenching and unclenching at his sides, impatience washing over him.

Finally, Kakashi sighs, dropping his arm. One eye lifting to meet the agitated gaze of the sannin. “Good to see you, Jiraiya.”

“Kakashi,”

“You haven’t talked to her?”

Jiraiya’s eye twitches. “I can’t find her.”

Kakashi hums. “She’s not back from the mission, then.”

It was like a bomb had been dropped on him. Everything he thought he knew about you was wrong. But he’s to blame. He’s the one constantly leaving. He’s the one who keeps you at arms length. If he wanted to know, he’d ask. A lump of uncertainty forms in Jiraiya’s throat. He’s not a fan of the feeling. He doesn’t like you being gone. A shinobi? You’re more amazing than he’d thought, and it irks him. He’s an idiot. The two of you have been at this for, well, years, and he honestly thought that you were a civilian whose whole world revolved around him. He doesn’t say anything to Kakashi. He’s defeated by you and you aren’t even here to witness it.

“You really don’t have a clue, do you?” Jiraiya stares at him, making Kakashi sigh. “Follow me.”

Kakashi isn’t sure why he has the photo to begin with, but he’s glad he has it. Probably something of Naruto’s that he has for safe keeping. He finds it in a stack next to his bedroom dresser. He smiles at the photo before handing it over to the older man.

The two of you are standing together, Jiraiya’s arm thrown over your shoulders holding you tightly to him. His head is tossed back in a boisterous laugh, you can almost hear it echoing from the memory. You’ve got your arm around his waist, body completely molded to him as you watch him. Doe eyes looking up, lips parted in a small lovestruck smile. It’s a snapshot of the pure adoration and love you hold for him.

It’s not something you hide. It’s not a secret by any means. But gods, is Jiraiya seeing it for the very first time.

It’s early when you get home. Eyes burning from lack of sleep, dirt under your nails and in your hair. A nice hot shower is calling your name. It takes you three tries to unlock the door. So set on getting to the shower, you miss the hints of another presence in your home completely. Tearing off your vest while pulling your shoes off along the way, leaving the clothes scattered on the floor on your way to the bathroom. You come to a stop when you see your bedroom door open.

Now you’ve been gone for a month or so, but you do the same routine every time. Every door is shut when you leave. Every time. But the bedroom door is open. Biting your cheek, you move down the hallway to see that the bathroom door is open as well. Why? Who's been in your house? Are they still here? You freeze, senses running wild. If they were still here, they wouldn’t make it far.

The faintest sound of scratching reaches your ears. What, is there a rat in your house? As silent as you can, you follow the sounds. Leading to your bedroom, you slightly push the door open, a flurry of emotions overcoming you. Sitting at the desk is Jiraiya, bent over slightly as he pen scratches at the paper. No doubt furiously writing away for the next installment of his books. Stepping into the room you make your way to him, throwing your arms around his shoulders. He’s solid against you, the warmth of him seeping into you. You nuzzle your face in between his shoulders, more than happy to be home. Happy to finally have him home.

“Hey, kid,” he says with a laugh.

“Hey yourself. Missed you.”

His whole body relaxes at your words. Silently he turns, pulling you in closer until you’re seated on his lap. Thick fingers tangle up into the roots of your hair, angling you just so. You can’t help the moan when his lips meet yours. You aren’t sure how long he had been gone this time around. Only that it was too long and you didn’t like it. Normally you could get missions completed between the times he comes and goes. This had been rough.

“Missed your old man, did ya?”

You can’t help but snicker. “My old man?”

“Well I don’t belong to anyone else do I?” His lips trail up your neck, teasing at your ear. “I missed you too, kid.”

His hands release your hair, only to grip your face, thumbs running softly against your cheekbones. You’re doe eyed as you stare up at him. He hums as he stares back, so lovestruck it blindsides you.

“I love you.”

“Jiraiya,” The words make your heart stop. You never thought you’d hear them, and you’ve always been okay with that.

He doesn’t give you a moment to respond. “Let me show you.”

He stands, your legs instantly wrapping around his waist as he walks over to your shared bed. Your hands roam his body as he pulls off his own clothes. His tongue drags across your fluttering pulse, and when he sucks your skin hard enough to leave a bruise, your fingers splayed open on his broad shoulders, digging into the taut muscle that flexes as he draws you closer. Calloused hands pull at your shirt, the cool morning air drawing your nipples taunt.

His hands slide down your back, holding you close as he leans forward and lays you down on the sea of blankets. You’ve been together too long for you to be embarrassed by the whimper of a moan that escapes you when his teeth tug harder on your nipple before laving the ache with his tongue while his hand palms your other breast, playing mercilessly with the nipple until your back is arching off the mattress, eyes rolling back.

His hand falls away from your breast, and you nearly squeak in indignation until the feel of his calloused fingers slides between your thighs. Fingers dig into the stretchy material of your shorts, your own hands trailing down to free your body of the material. Jiraiya groans, watching you.

“I knew you weren’t wearing any panties.”

“Never do.”

You’ve never given it much thought, but if you had to imagine heaven, this would be it. A sunlit morning, tangled sheets, gentle words, rough hands. An endless loop of intimate moments, of vulnerable confessions, of whispered promises, of sex so intense your mind fractures and pieces itself back together. Your souls touch, they echo across countless lifetimes.

Jiraiya’s thumb teases your clit, rubbing slow, torturous circles that make your legs spasm every time the callous on the side of his thumb grazes the bud of nerves, lighting up every nerve ending in your body like a firework show.

You attempt to tug him closer, to shift your hips forward, to add more pressure, to silently ask him to go faster. Gods, please go faster. But he doesn't oblige. Rather, he pulls your hands off his body and locks them into an inescapable hold above your head, pinned against the pillows — a silent demand to not rush him, to let him take his time. A silent promise to make it worth your while.

When his thumb finds your clit again it's an even softer touch — a whisper rather than steady contact. And somehow, somehow that barely there touch, that torturously reserved brush of his thumb has your eyes flying wide and your back arching off the bed so intensely your breath lodges in your throat.

You tug, trying to get your wrists free, the demand to pull him closer nearly short-circuiting your brain, but his hold on them doesn't budge.

"Mmm, how do you want to come, pretty?" He hums against your skin, biting down on the hickey he's leaving on the swell of your breast before moving his attention to the other one. His thumb keeps a teasing pace on your clit, giving you more pressure and easing off just when the pressure in your lower belly begins to build.

Up, up, up and then gone.

So close, so so close, and then poof.

Gone.

His tongue drags across your nipple before he pulls back and blows a cool breath of air across the glistening nerves, sending a rush of goosebumps across your entire body.

His thumb adds a little more pressure, a little more friction, and you’re sure you might cry. You might actually cry. It feels so good.

Your entire body is tense, nearly about to hit that peak when he pulls his thumb away again.

Your head slams back against the bed, frustration flooding your veins. Your orgasm is trying to break free, to claw its way out of you. Like water receding from the shore before a tsunami, the air in your lungs is gone, the control over your shaking legs, your shaking arms, your shaking hands — towed away from you.

He sucks on your nipple hard enough to fling white dots over your vision like confetti, and even now, you can feel the haughty smile tugging at his lips as he pulls back to watch you writhe under him because he knows, he knows you're too far gone to answer him.

"Like this?" he slides a finger into you and you nearly shatter. Nearly, nearly, nearly. Please.

You can't breathe. You can't think. You can't respond. You shake your head and tug your wrists feebly. You want him. You want him.

He adds another finger and you moan so loud it echoes back to you.

He curses, pulls his fingers away, and as you nearly break into hysterics at the loss of contact, at the loss of the climax that was so close you could nearly taste the endorphins on your tongue, he releases your wrists and wraps your legs around his hips.

"No. No sweet girl, you're going to come with my cock buried deep in your pretty pussy." His words are a promise against your ear and finally, finally he thrusts into you as he murmurs against your lips. "Come on my cock, kid. Let me see how fucking gorgeous you are when you come on my cock. Let me know how much you really missed me."

It's instantaneous. The tsunami hits with the first thrust of his hips and your throat burns with the scream that rips through your room. It's nearly a sob — a sob of relief, a sob of ecstasy, a sob of pure pleasure.

Every nerve in your body is a live wire, lighting up with the kind of mind numbing sensation that pulls you down so deep you can't process anything other than the feel of the waves. Like you’re just under the surface of the ocean, being pulled along with each rise and crash of the tide.

And then you blink and see the brilliant sunlight coaxing you back toward the surface, back to the air, back to reality. And it's only when you break the surface and your lungs unfreeze, helplessly tasting your first breath of air since they froze in your chest, that you realize the sun has been shrouded by a passing storm cloud, and the light, that brilliant light that brought you back is still here, radiating from the man on top of you. His face is nuzzled into the crook of your neck, his hips reaching a crescendo that sends another aftershock of pleasure flooding up your spine and he buries himself deep inside of you and stills, the heat of his climax pulsing inside of you, sliding down your thighs.

The room is silent other than your heavy breathing. Your fingers card through his hair, his lips grazing your collarbones. It’s only when your breathing steadies and your body completely relaxes that Jiraiya scoops you up and heads into the shower.

I love you. He whispers the words again and again as he washes you. Lips pressed against your skin as if he can force his love into you. Your heart soars. Tucked into bed, eyes droopy from exhaustion, Jiraiya hands over the photo. You can feel his gaze taking you in as you run your finger lightly over his laughing face, not even concerned about yourself. He presses a kiss against your temple, mouthing the words with a ghost of a smile.

“I love you too.”

And you don’t know where you’ll go from here. If your path will continue to entwine with his. You do know your heart will never belong to another. He’s opening himself up, learning, and he’s doing it all for you.

[discount-shades]

Sleepy Baby Part 2

a/n: I was shocked and flattered about how many people liked the first one. I figured I’d do Part 2.

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin / Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1400 ish

Summary: Despite all evidence to the contrary Jake is still very confident in himself. 

Previous          Masterlist          Next

Jake glances up from the dart board to see who was walking through the door of the Hard Deck. His shoulders slump when it isn’t you. It had been a month since you had played the Village Peoples’ In the Navy and walked out the door after calling him Baby. His friends had laughed at him when you made your dramatic exit. Penny had been delighted that you used the song in the way it was intended when she left it on the jukebox. To knock a pilot down a few pegs. She was known to play the song to tease Maverick.

From the moment he met you, Jake was hooked. Your smile, your laugh, your wit, it was everything about you. If he was being honest with himself it was probably the salute you sent him as you walked out the door that sealed the deal for him. You did not care that he was a pilot. In fact you spent most of your short amount of time with him mocking what most people fawned over him for. 

While the pilot schtick got him laid, he always got the impression that the uniform was the key factor. Not himself. Spending most of his time at bars near the base probably didn’t help. They tend to attract a certain clientele.

When you had called him Baby he had been sure you would be back and had taken to spending an inordinate amount of time at the Hard Deck, waiting. He had even promised Penny to buy the bar a round if she would call him if you arrived and he was not there. No luck so far.

“Get over her, man.” Javy sighs at his friend's antics. “You were clearly more into her than she was you.”

“No, she was into me,” Jake insists, throwing a bullseye. “She said she would give me her number next time, well implied she would, but still.” Despite Javy’s laughter at the comment, Jake was sure. He just needed to see you again. “She is probably at a different bar.” 

“That is because she is avoiding you, Hangman.”

“She is, but not like you think,” Jake took his time lining up his final shot. “I need to find her to get her number.” As the days of not seeing you back at the Hard Deck passed Jake was becoming more convinced that he needed to go find you. 

“You don't even know her name!” Jake could tell Javy was getting exasperated. “And there must be thousands of bars and pubs in San Diego. How are you going to find her?”

Jake threw his final dart and hit the bullseye again. Turning he grinned at his friend, “But, she said she worked with kids at the library,” a plan was forming in his mind. “I’ll just visit her at work!”

“This is starting to slip closer into ‘stalker territory’ than I am comfortable with.” Javy said, rubbing his head. “How many libraries are in San Diego anyway?”

“There are 34 libraries within San Diego City limits, and another 33 in the surrounding county.” Bob said from behind them, reading from his phone. 

Jake and Javy startled and spun around. “How long have you been sitting there?” Jake asked.

“Again, I've been here the whole time.”

Jake pointed his finger at Bob. “Phoenix doesn't hear about this!” 

“No promises.”

…

Jake pulled his truck into the library parking lot and gently laid his head on the steering wheel. This will be the 42nd library he has checked, and the last one within city limits. It has been six weeks since he has started looking for you and he has his spiel down. 

He’d introduce himself and apologize for forgetting the name of the woman who he had previously spoken to. She had mentioned some great kids programs for his niece who he will be watching for his sister who is on a business trip. Polite description of your features, hide his disappointment when he is told that no one matching your description works there. Graciously accept the brochure of the Children's Activity Program and on to the next library. 

The good news is that if Evie ever did come to stay with him for a few weeks he would be set on activities for a seven year old to do. He sighed and got out of his truck and made his way toward the door.

…

You are in your office ordering caterpillars for the yearly butterfly program your library puts on. After putting the caterpillar kit in your online cart you click the sale tab on the website to see if there is anything else the library needs. The first item is a 3D tic-tac-toe game and you are reminded of him. 

It has been over 2 months and, if you are honest, everything still reminds you of him. You regret not giving him your number more than you care to admit. Your therapist was right. You are ready to get back out there. But your heart is still too tender to go back to the Hard Deck and not see him. Or worse, risk him not being interested. He is the one that you let get away.

So every week you still go to a different bar. You make small talk to those around you. But you have not felt the instant chemistry you felt with the pilot. No banter, no jokes. And every time you meet someone who is charming you can't help but compare them to the pilot. And you still don't even know his real name. 

“Hi my name is Jake Seresin, I’m looking for some children's programs for my niece.” Your ears perk up as you listen to the front desk through the open doorway. When the man describes speaking with a woman who matches your description you search your memories for men you have spoken to recently. 

There was the man with a wedding ring who had hit on you. A single dad who had just signed his son up for everything, no questions asked, and someone who looked like a teenager who was looking for activities for his younger siblings. No uncles that you remembered.

“Our Activity Coordinator is in that office,” you hear your coworker say, “she is the one you need to talk to.”

You sit straight in your chair and look up, ready to greet the person walking through your door and your breath catches in your throat. It's him, looking just as good in jeans and a t-shirt. The pilot. Your pilot. He is smiling so widely when he sees you his whole face is lit up. 

“Hugs and Kisses, you are a hard woman to track down.” 

You press your lips together trying not to smile as widely as you want to. “I figured you were up for the challenge, Sleepy Baby," you reply.

“This is the 42nd library I have checked to see if you worked at.” He sits down in the chair across from your desk. “The thought of your smile was the only thing that kept me going.”

“Well 42 is the meaning of everything.” 

“Oh Darling, you are the meaning of my everything.” 

You give in and laugh, grinning so much your cheeks hurt. “I liked the imaginary niece in your story,” you lean back in your chair matching his posture. “Who did you steal her from?”

“Oh Evie is mine and very real.” He assures you. “My sister's daughter, she’s seven and happens to be delighted when she hangs me every time we play hangman.”

“A girl after my own heart,” you smile at the way his face lights up when he talks about Evie. “You let her win, don't you?”

“I do.” He admits looking slightly distressed. “She is the type who would steal imaginary kittens too and I can't help but love her for it.” You both laugh at his confession.

You sit for a moment, smiling at each other across the desk. “I’m Jake, and I never did get your name or number.”

You smile at him before leaning over and picking up a blank piece of paper off your desk. You carefully draw the number of lines for letters in your name and ten lines for the digits in your phone number. You hold up the paper with a cheeky grin. “Well Jake, my name and number, I’ll play you Sleepy Baby for it?”

[depressedhatakekakashi]

A Story Book Scene

Words: 4008

Pairing: Kakagai

Prompt: Rain

A beautiful piece of art drawn by @jventureart to start this fic off. Can you guess what’s going to happen? If you read through the whole thing you’ll also find a second, secret picture at the bottom (that will probably make you laugh your butt iff XD)

            “Take the night off. Relax, work on an essay if you really feel the need to do something. Just don’t worry about the shop tonight.”

For the first time in four months, Gai didn’t have to go into work on a Monday night. It was a strange feeling that came with a sudden day off. A mixture of excitement at the prospects of what he could do with this new found time off, and a hint of annoyance.

            “You couldn’t save it for one day?” he asked, his eyes focused on the dark sky above as rain drummed against the classroom window. “A storm on a Tuesday is so much better. There’s nothing to miss on a Tuesday.”

            Monday, though, was his favorite day to work. Not because of the calming quiet that filled the little bookstore only to be interrupted by a single customer every hour, or because he knew he’d be able to go to the café next door on his way in and pick up a cup of apple cider to keep him war.

            It was his favorite day because it was the day he came in.

            The one day a week when Gai got to see the most beautiful person he’d ever laid his eyes upon.

            “Work on my essay,” a flash of lightning lit up the sky just as he spoke, engulfing the school grounds in light for just a second before disappearing. “How am I supposed to work on my essay when I don’t even get to see him?”

            It was a silly concern of course. There were more important questions he should have been asking himself. Like how he was even going to get home in such a terrible storm when it seemed like everything in the village was shutting down.

            Yet, he couldn’t help but dwell on it.

            Kakashi’s visits to the bookshop every Monday were the highlight of his week. The one thing he looked forward to above all other things in his week. It had even taken the top spot of ‘favorite weekly occurrences’ from his father’s weekly visits to his tiny apartment for dinner.

            Losing such an important event in his week was going to make his week even more difficult to trudge through than normal. He’d still do it, of course, but it would take more effort than usual.

            “Alright,” dragging his eyes away from the window he closed his notebook and reached down to grab his backpack. “Can’t hang around too long. Ningame’s probably having a terrible time at home having to listen to this storm.”

            Shoving all of his things into the backpack, he stood up from his seat and stuck his arms through the straps and waited for the familiar weight to settle against his back before heading for the door. The walk home was only ten minutes, but it was ten minutes in which he would be faced with a complete downpour.

            Weather so terrible that it was almost guaranteed to ruin his clothes, his bag, and everything inside of it.

            “I’ll just have to carry it in my arms.” a smile tugged at his lips as he thought it over. Anyone who saw him running through the rain with his bag clutched against his chest was sure to laugh at him, but he didn’t care. All of his notes from the last week of classes were in that bag, and his mid term was coming up.

            He couldn’t risk losing anything.

            Stepping out into the hallway he watched as it lit up with a blinding flash of light, followed closely by the sound of thunder crashing through the air.

            “I’ll run,” pushing forward, he headed for the nearest exit he could remember. “A ten minute walk turned into a five minute run. three minutes if I really push myself. It’ll be no time at all before I’m back home with Ningame.”

            The house he was renting with Genma and Ebisu was just outside the University grounds, and lucky for Gai all of his classes were in the building closest to the house. He didn’t need to deal with crossing the giant field in the center of the school to get home.

            Stopping in front of the door he slipped his backpack off and wrapped his arms around it, holding it tight against his chest. “Ok,” he took a deep breath and braced himself. “It’s just a bit of water, Gai. It can’t hurt you.”

            As if challenging his words, the sky lit up with lightning once more. A beautiful display of power that no human could ever hope to take on.

            Using his shoulder to push the door open, he stepped outside and was greeted by the torrential downpour of rain that had caused every business in the town to close down for the day. Without hesitation he broke into a run, his back held tightly against his chest and the sound of thunder cracking pushing him to run faster than he had ever run before.

            Fumbling with his keys, Gai listened to the rain assaulting the patio roof just above his head. The run home had proved to be more difficult than he’d anticipated, with the wind blowing against him every step of the way and rain soaking into his clothes weighing him down.

            Just as he found the key he was looking for the door knob began to turn and the door swung open, revealing Genma standing on the other side in his favorite yellow PJ pants and the shirt Gai had gotten him for his last birthday that said “How do you give a ninja directions? Across the top and “Don’t worry, he’ll find you!” At the bottom with a cartoon ninja in the center.

            “You look like you’ve had a good time,” he smirked. “What’s the password?”

            “Genma’s a loser?”

            “No, that was last weeks password,” he sighed.

            Gai frowned. “the password changes on Tuesdays.”

            “Usually, yes,” his friend confirmed. “But I got inspiration for a new password today.” Sighing, Gai crossed his arms over his chest and waited for his friend to fill him in. “What, you’re not even going to try?”

            “I’m soaked, Genma,” he whined. “I want to change and cuddle up to Ningame and you’re in my way. Tell me the password.”

            Rolling his eyes, Genma stepped off to the side and waved to the inside of the house. Not willing to miss his opportunity, Gai bent down to grab his bag and stepped forward into the comfortable warmth of the house.  “It’s ‘weirdo in the rain’ by the way.”

            Gai was mid step when Genma spoke, and for some reason he stopped. He wasn’t sure why, but he was certain he’d heard something strange in the way Genma had told him this weeks new password. It hadn’t come out in the same joking tone he always had when he informed Gai and Ebisu of the new password, but instead was spoken with what sounded like amusement.

            “Weirdo in the rain?” he asked, frowning when Genma nodded his head. “What kind of password is that? Why would you- wait…” Genma’s words repeated in his mind. “You said you got inspiration for this password?”

            “I did,” Genma confirmed. “And not just because the last one Ebisu chose was boring.”

            “It was not!” Ebisu called out from the kitchen.

            “Anyways,” waving Gai in, Genma sighed when he was met with a firm look. “I was on my way home just as the storm was starting up and I saw some weirdo standing in the middle of the field staring up at the sky.”

            Stepping out of the kitchen, Ebisu made his way to Genma’s side and elbowed him in the side. “Not just any weirdo,” he insisted. “It was Gai’s weirdo, wasn’t it?”

            “I don’t know that for sure!” Genma argued, returning Ebisu’s jab with a solid punch to their friends arm.

            Glancing between the two, Gai felt the frown on his face deepening. “What do you mean ‘my weirdo’?” he asked.

            “You know the one,” Ebisu insisted while he rubbed the area of his arm Genma had assaulted. “That guy you never shut up about. He has silver hair and a scar on his eye.”

            “I wasn’t close enough to see a scar,” Genma clarified. “but he did have spiky silver hair and there was a pug sitting on his shoulder, and you said the guy who visits your bookstore always has a pug with him.”

            Realizing just who they were talking about, Gai dropped his bag beside the shoe rack, snatched up the dripping wet umbrella that one of his roommates had left propped up against the shoe rack, turned on his heel, and headed right back out the door,

            “Hey!” Ebisu called after him. “Gai, where are you going!?”

            “To make sure he’s not still standing outside in this weather!” He called back as he headed straight back toward the school.

            The umbrella he’d stolen did little to stop the rain from assaulting him. With every step he took, Gai could feel the wet fabric of his clothing rubbing uncomfortably against his skin. Still, he kept walking.

            Continued to push forward, ignoring every complaint running through his mind.

            When he reached the edge of the large field in the center of the school he peered out through the rain in search of a familiar figure. Only two seconds after beginning his search he spotted it.

            A tall figure with a small lump on his left shoulder standing to the left of the field, just a few steps away from the University Library. So close to the warmth of the library, safe from the onslaught of rain. Yet, as Gai watched him he made no movements.

            He simply stood there allowing the rain to fall upon him.

            “You’ve really done it now, Gai,” he sighed as he began the long walk toward that lone figure. “You had to choose that one, huh? The guy who stands outside in a storm just waiting to get sick? That’s the one you want?”

            Yes.

The answer came almost immediately, from somewhere deep inside of his soul. It wasn’t a response crafted by his brain where his options were well thought out and carefully selected. No, it was a desire. An answer that came straight from his heart and overrode any sense of logic.

            ‘This one’ it reminded him as he came closer to the other man, that spiky silver hair he had admired since the first day they met finally visible in the darkness of the storm. ‘who else would I choose?’

            Shaking his head Gai chuckled.

            A few months ago he’d dared to ask himself why it was his heart had chosen Kakashi. What it was about the man that he stood out to him above all others, and he had been unable to come up with an answer.

            No matter how much he dwelled on it, how much he tried to find an exact reason to his feelings, he’d been unable to.

            There was no logic to his feelings, and he couldn’t help but think that it was perfect.

            Whatever it was he felt for Kakashi, it couldn’t be argued for or against. It simply was.

            Kakashi was the person who had gone and stolen his heart, and not even seeing the man standing outside in the rain had done even the smallest amount of damage to that affection he felt.

            “You…” he came to a stop at Kakashi’s side and moved the umbrella so that it was now hovering over his head, doing as much to block out the rain as it had done for Gai on his journey here. “Are ridiculous, you know that?”

            Turning his head, Kakashi stared at Gai with dark black eyes, a sparkle of excitement shinning when he saw just who it was now standing at his side. Now that he was closer Gai could see just how much damage the rain had done, and it was a much more beautiful sight than he had prepared himself for. Kakashi’s usual spiky hair was plastered against his forehead, and there was rain soaked into the cloth mask that he always wore. A normal person would worry even more about Kakashi’s health just looking at him.

            Gai wasn’t normal, though. He knew he should be concerned with Kakashi’s health, but all he could think about as he stared at the soaking wet man in front of him was just how handsome he was.

            How his eyes seemed to light up when lightning came crashing down from the sky, or how calmly he moved as he took a step back so that the umbrella Gai had placed over his head was no longer blocking the rain at all.

“I’ve been told,” he confirmed with a cheerful note in his voice. “Not that you have much right to speak. You’re out here too.”

            “I’m out here because someone has to make sure you don’t get sick.” reaching out with his free hand, he watched as Pakkun stretched out and gave his hand a sniff before bumping his head against his palm. To Kakashi’s credit he did see a little rain suit covering Pakkun, though he wasn’t sure how much it was protecting him from the cold.

            “You came all the way out here for me?” Kakashi’s eyes sparkled, but this time there was a different expression Gai noticed in them. An expression he’d only seen once before, when Kakashi had insisted that there was no one in the entire town who knew as much about Romance novels as he did.

            Arrogance.

            An annoying expression to see on anyone else turned into something beautiful when it was Kakashi who was wearing it.

             Turning his face away, he muttered out a restrained ‘thank you’ to the storm for providing him with cover so that Kakashi couldn’t see the way his eyes darted around searching for something other than Kakashi to focus on, or how he pulled his lips into a tight, thin line.

            “Gai,” Stepping around him, Kakashi closed his eyes in that adorable smile of his. “Did you really come out all this way for me?”

            “Yes,” He confirmed, sighing when Kakashi began to laugh. “You’re standing outside in a storm, Kakashi. A storm, might I add, that has caused every single business in town to close down for the night.”

            “Ah, is that it?” taking a step back Kakashi tilted his head back and stared up at the sky. “You’re worried about me because of a little rain?”

            Watching as the rain splashed against Kakashi’s face, he couldn’t help but laugh a little. The whole situation seemed absurd. Everyone else in the town was either tucked away safely in their homes, or on their way home. They’d found shelter away from the rain as soon as they could.

            Everyone except for Kakashi, and now Gai.

            “So,” he lowered the umbrella, no longer interested in wasting his energy on trying to keep Kakashi dry when that was clearly the opposite of what he wanted. “You like the rain?”

            “Like?” Kakashi lowered his head to stare at him once more. “Gai, I love the rain.”

            ‘I love the Rain’

A Kaleidoscope of butterflies came bursting to life in Gai’s stomach when he heard that. Fluttering around knocking against every wall so that his stomach felt like it was about to explode with joy.

 In all of the time he’d known Kakashi he’d never been blessed with the sound of him saying that he loved anything.

            He could gush about every single romance novel he read, of course, and there was no doubt in Gai’s mind that the man respected a lot of people including some of his professors and friends like his friend Tenzo who he dragged to the bookshop at least once a month, claiming that he needed to ‘get out of the greenhouse once in a while’.

            But Love was a word that Kakashi used very sparingly.

            “Love,” he smiled, swallowing down the response he wanted to give. The one where he told Kakashi how that word so perfectly described his feelings for him. Instead, he pointed at Pakkun. “More than you love him?”

            Glancing over at the Pug that was still sitting so patiently on his shoulder, Kakashi reached over, gently lifted him off of his shoulder, and held him out in front of him. “what do you think, Pakkun?” he asked, chuckling when the pug answered him with a bark. “You’re right. There’s very little in this world I love more than you.” With that said he pulled his arms in and hugged Pakkun tight against his chest as another streak of lightning cracked through the sky.

            Gai stayed glued in his spot, his smile growing as he watched Kakashi openly hugging his dog and the butterfly’s still crashing around in his stomach.

            Earlier, when his boss had given him the day off to avoid the storm he’d felt annoyed. Upset that he wouldn’t be able to see Kakashi on the one day a week he was usually guaranteed to see him. Now, standing in front of Kakashi as the rain soaked through their clothes, he was thankful for his boss’ kindness.

            If he hadn’t given him the night off, he may have missed out on the best thing he could have possibly experienced.

            “Oh,” Kakashi’s eyes focused on him once more. “but you’re soaked! You’re going to get sick if you stay out here.”

            Gai’s eyes widened for a moment, and then the next second he was laughing. A bright, boisterous laugh that seemed to fill the air around them. “you-“ he swung his umbrella up and gently tapped it against the top of Kakashi’s head, earning himself a rather unimpressed glare from the other man. “Have I told you that you’re ridiculous?”

            “You said that when you arrived, yes,” reaching up, Kakashi swatted the umbrella away.

��           “Well, you are,” allowing the umbrella to drop back to his side he turned on his heel and directed himself back toward his house. “Come on, I have hot chocolate at my place. Or, if that’s too sweet for you I’m sure I can steal some of Ebisu’s tea.”

            “Tea?” Glancing back at him, Gai watched as he thought the offer over. “A cup of tea would be nice.”

            “I might even have a romance book for you to borrow,” he continued. “It’s not the same as the books at the shop, but-“

            Before he could finish what he was saying Kakashi showed up at his side and grabbed hold of his hand. “Not that I’ll turn down a book if you’re offering it,” he began, his eyes twinkling mischievously. “But I think even you can agree that this, right here, is a much better romance.”

            A streak of lightning lit up the sky at that moment, lighting up Gai’s face just as his eyes went wide with shock. In the span of two seconds everything he knew about the quiet, reserved Kakashi had been thrown right out the window in favour of a brave, upfront romantic.

            His eyes darted down to Kakashi’s hand holding onto his. For months he’d wondered what it would feel like to hold Kakashi’s hand in his, and now he had his answer.

            It felt warm.

            Like he was holding the most precious object in the world.

            His fingers curled around Kakashi’s hand as a smile spread across his face. “You really are something,” he chuckled. “Did you learn that one from one of your books?”

            “Fireworks in Osaka,” Kakashi confirmed, the name falling from his lips with ease. “When Akiri takes Sakura out for a ramen date it begins to rain and…well,” his eyes flickered up to the sky. “Akiri offers to take her to the bookstore where they can wait out the rainstorm and Sakura can choose a romance book for her collection. Sakura answers that-“

            “I think even you can agree that this, right here, is a much better romance,” Gai repeated the words, the butterflies in his stomach fluttering around so much that he was beginning to feel nauseous with love.

            “Ya,” Returning his gaze to Gai, Kakashi chuckled. “it’s cute, isn’t it?”

            “It is,” tugging on Kakashi’s hand, Gai reached out with his other arm and wrapped it around his back, careful not to hit him with the umbrella that he was still holding. As he did he heard Kakashi gasp as his body collided against his, their faces now so close that their noses were touching. “I can think of something cuter, though.”

            “Of course you can,” Kakashi grinned back at him. “Pakkun is adorable after all.”

            As lightning crashed through the sky, lightning up the field for one precious moment, Gai was gifted with the most beautiful image. Kakashi’s eyes scrunching closed as he laughed, his soaking wet hair pressed against his forehead with droplets running down from his forehead, over his nose, and down to his chin.

            Releasing Kakashi’s hand, he lifted his hand up to that beautiful face and gently cupped his cheek. “He is,” he agreed, watching as those beautiful black eyes opened and focused on him. “But I was talking about you.”

            His next movement wasn’t planned. He didn’t really know what he was doing until he was already moving, and by that point he had no intention of stopping.

            Kakashi’s mask was soaking went against his lips, but there was a warmth to the kiss that overrode that scratchy feeling of cloth rubbing against his lips. A comfort that came with Kakashi’s hand settling on his back, fingers curling into the wet fabric of his shirt.

            Gai had kissed many people in his lifetime, and all of them had been real, proper kisses. No fabric between them blocking him from feeling the softness of their skin.

            Yet, none of them compared to this kiss. None of them brought such joy to his heart that he struggled to pull back, even when his lungs burned with a need for air. Not one of those kisses, no matter how wonderful they had been, came close to comparing to this one.

            “See?” Kakashi chuckled when they finally pulled away, his eyes still focused on Gai’s face. “Rain really is the most romantic weather.”

            “Maybe,” running his thumb along Kakashi’s cheek, he smiled. “I might need another kiss to confirm that, though.” He began to lean down, but before he could touch his lips against Kakashi’s again a finger settled against his lip.

            “Perhaps a proper kiss would serve better?” as quickly as the words left his mouth Kakashi had removed the mask that covered the lower half of his face, allowing Gai the rare opportunity to see just what lay under neither.

            An opportunity he was certain anyone else would take advantage of, but which he didn’t bother to dwell on. As soon as the mask was off he swooped in to kiss Kakashi once more, this time the warmth of the kiss no longer just a feeling inside of his soul, but an actual sensation against his lips. Kakashi’s lips were warm. His skin was warm, even in the cold of the rain.

            The first kiss they had shared had stood above all others, but this one-

            There was nothing in the world that could compare with the feelings that ignited inside of Gai’s heart when he kissed Kakashi a second time.

            Rain really was the most romantic weather. That was a sentence Gai could now confirm was true without a shadow of a doubt. Sunshine was brilliant, but rain had given him the greatest gift he could have asked for. It had allowed him the opportunity to see Kakashi, the man he’d always known as being reserved and quiet though a bit of an arrogant shit at times, in his true light.

            As the romantic dork he always seemed to bury inside of his books.

            Rain had provided Kakashi with the perfect opportunity, and for that Gai would happily make it his new favorite weather.

[thecatundertheladder]

You know what? Fuck it. Morro is alive in my fsm lives au.

He got all the way into Fsm's tomb (which is actually just an over-the-top storage facility) before Fsm caught him.

When Morro was first taken in by Wu he was in awe. I mean it's not every day you're offered a place to stay by the son of God. But he doesn't know much about Wu or his family, nor does Wu think to tell him.

Over time, Morro works out that Wu isn't human. It's the little things at first that make him unsure of his dad's sensei's heritage. A low, draconic hiss there, a quick, barely noticeable shapeshifting mishap there. But Morro is still insecure about his place in the monastery, so he doesn't mention it. However, the truth of Wu's dragoni status comes to light when Wu serves himself a slab of raw meat for dinner, still dripping with blood. Naturally morro, who got served dumplings, freaks out.

Morro: Why are you eating that?!

Wu, confused as to why he's getting asked this: Because I'm technically a carnivore?

Morro: What!?

Wu: You know, because I'm half dragon and half oni.

Morro: No?!

So Morro finds out one "secret" about Wu and his family. And Wu even starts using his true form every now and then. Unfortunately this incident doesn't make Wu stop to think that if Morro doesn't know that Wu isn't human, then he probably doesn't know a lot of other things, such as the Very Important Fact of the First Spinjitzu Master being alive. For Morro, the Fsm's "death" is only confirmed when Wu offhandedly comments that he might of realised that Morro didn't know he wasn't human sooner, if his father wasn't almost certainly in the Departed Realm. (Wu's reasoning behind this was that Fsm tends to be in their true form more often than Wu)

When Morro runs away to prove that he's worthy of being the green ninja, he doesn't actually set out with any particular goal in mind. Rather, the idea of finding the Fsm's tomb comes about after hearing rumours about it in a few of the villages he passed through. In one of them, he even overhears two men talking about how allegedly "not even the First Spinjitzu Master's son's know where the tomb is" (Garmadon and Wu actually don't know where the storage facility is located, as the only time they've ever been there the Fsm teleported them straight into it and straight back out again). It's this comment that gives Morro the idea: if he can find the tomb, something that Wu himself has failed to do, Wu will have to make him the green ninja! And so Morro sets out to find The Tomb of The First Spinjitzu Master.

Meanwhile Wu is having a crisis trying to remember if running away for months at a time was normal human behaviour. Because his draconic instincts are seeing this as normal (I hc dragons to have very large territories that they let their hatchlings run amok in) but his oni instincts are screaming at him to find his pup student. And of course Morro is human, so he's not sure what he should be doing. In the end, however, Wu will always be more dragon than oni, so his draconic instincts win out and he settles down to wait for the return of his hatchling student (though if he needs an few calming teas a day and stops nearly all communication with the outside world that's nobody else's business).

Morro actually does achieve what so few have before, and finds the tomb after months of searching. He then proceeds to one up everyone else and get inside, even without the clues, doing this by using his power over the wind and knowledge of spinjitzu. Morro then decides to do what any teenager in the tomb of God would, and starts to explore. But the cave system that it's in is complex and dangerous for mortals, so Morro quickly gets lost.

Fsm, meanwhile, had come to their storage facility to do some much needed organisation (listen, there is thousands of years worth of stuff in there. Fsm is half dragon and has the hoarding skills to prove it). While they're moving through the caves sorting random items they hear a disturbance a few tunnels over (dragoni hearing for the win!) and go to investigate. It's there that he finds Morro on the verge of a breakdown.

Morro, who was not expecting anyone else to be in the tomb nearly has a heart attack, because there is a massive being with wings and sharp horns and talons staring down at him. He panics and gets ready to fight. But the more he observes the being in the cave with him, the more familiar it seems. After a few seconds, it clicks, the being looks like Wu. And if the being looks like Wu, and it's not Garmadon, then there's really only one person it could be. But that's impossible, isn't it? But all the same, Morro relaxes a bit.

Morro: You're the First Spinjitzu Master

Fsm, wondering why there is a small child in his storage facility: I am, yes.

Morro: But you're dead! We're in your tomb!?

Fsm, now wondering why this small child has traces of their son's scent on him: This is a storage facility. And I'm not dead, who told you that?

Morro: Well - I mean - Wu said you were most likely in the Departed Realm!

Fsm: And I was, but I can leave it at any time. I'm a god afterall. Anyway, how do you know my son?

Morro: Wu took me in and trained me, and he lied to me and told me I was destined to become the green ninja. But I've found your tomb, surely that makes me worthy. You can make me the green ninja!

Fsm: Of course you are not the green ninja. It's not about how worthy one is. It's the fact that you are mortal, you simply wouldn't survive carrying the power of the green ninja. Besides, if it makes you feel better, you can already do something I cannot. You can control wind, something that no one since Wojira herself has been able to do. I assume that's why Wu thought you might the green ninja. I do apologise, it's my fault he's not the best at communication.

Fsm: You should return to the monastery. Wu is worried. He sees you as his son, you know, he will be happy that you are safe.

Morro: How can you know that when you didn't even know who I was.

Fsm: Omniscience is something I can chose whether to use or not. Now, I believe it is time for you to leave. Come, I will lead out of the caves.

So Morro and the First Spinjitzu Master leave the cave system. Morro has had his ego boosted since he can do something the First Spinjitzu Master can't, and is less angry about being not the green ninja. He's still angry at Wu, of course, but he misses him all the same. Besides, this way he can yell at Wu in person again.

Morro doesn't go back immediately though, instead he takes a few months to gather his thoughts. As he travels through the villages and cities of Ninjago he occasionally helps people out, and starts to get a sense of what being a ninja is all about. So by the time he actually reaches the monastery he's mostly cooled off, as well as lost some of his arrogance. However, he does still have a speech to give Wu that involves several apologies about how he acted, along with an section that explains the pressure that Morro felt Wu put him under.

He doesn't get a chance to actually say the speech until a few days after he returns home though, as the moment Morro steps through the gates he is greeted by his touch starved dragoni sensei parent, who immediately whisks him away for cuddles. And Morro, equally touched starved, simply can't bring himself to stop it.

Fsm, on the other hand, is absolutely thrilled that they now have a grandson to dote on.

(Thanks to @coolprofessorbagelwinner for the little tidbit at the end)

[13as07]

Spitting Image Prequel

(Gaara Sabaku Smut)

[Artwork is not mine! Credit to Bev-Nap]

Requested by: Myself

Word Count: 4,240

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

Alcohol drinking/Drunk sex

Soft boi virgin Gaara

Praising/“Good Boy”

Hickeys/Scratch Marks

Mommy kink (you can’t convince me that Gaara doesn’t have a mommy kink)

Pleasure kink

Begging

Oral (female receiving)

Creampie

———————————————————————

The neon lights of the bar cut through the darkness, pulling me towards it like a moth. This day has sucked, this week has sucked, this month has sucked. Plus, the promise of cheap margaritas is almost impossible to deny. I'm a sucker for a cheap alcohol-induced night.

     "Welcome in! Margaritas are two hundred yen a glass tonight!" The short-haired bartender calls out, a toothy grin on her face.

     "Start me off with a strawberry margarita," I order, sliding into an empty barstool at the counter. "Then slide me a lime one once it's done."

     "So start your second one as soon as I'm done with your first?" She asks a laugh following her words.

     "Ya, pretty much," I giggle out too, slapping my ID onto the counter before laying six hundred yen on top. "Keep the extra as a tip, love."

     "Damn, already sweet talking me. One strawberry and one lime marg coming up," the bartender says, snatching up my ID and the cash. She glances at my ID, checking my age before sliding it into the tab box alongside another twenty or thirty others.

It doesn’t take long for my drinks to come. As promised, I down the first one before taking my time with the second. As I’m sipping on the lime drink, the taste of it justifying the price, a voice rings out. “Sorry ma’am, but is this seat taken?”

I turn my head towards the voice, a shorter man with a head of shaggy red hair at the end of the sound. His hair interests me, it’s a dark red instead of the normal pale-red gingers tend to be. I wonder if it’s a dye job. “No, it’s not taking, sunshine.”

“O…oh,” the man stutters, slowly sliding into the stool next to me. “Thank you, for the seat,” he mumbles, a hand running through his hair. When his hair flips up because of the movement, a tattooed red mark is exposed on his forehead, only interesting me even more.

“Of course. No lady likes to drink alone,” I answer, the buzz of my margs setting in. “No girl likes to buy her drinks either.”

The man’s eyes blink slowly, exposing the black circles around his eyes. How cute, a hot ginger that’s good at eyeliner. “Would… would you like me to buy you a drink? Is that what you’re asking?”

I let out a deep laugh as a smile cracks across my face. “You don’t get hit on often do you?”

Another round of slow blinking before a soft “no” peeps out.

“Yes, I’m asking you to buy me a drink.”

The man’s face scrunches, nonexistent eyebrows smashed together. The red is totally a dye job. “What would you like to drink?”

“A mango margarita, please, sunshine.”

Mr Sunshine stumbles over his words as he orders a drink for himself and me. His eyes are wide and stuck on me as we wait for our drinks, the intenseness of his stare poking at my nerves. “So… I haven’t seen you around the village before. Are you from the Leaf or just passing through?”

“I am from the Village Hidden in the Sand.”

“Oh, that’s… cool. Whatcha doing here then?”

“I was meeting with your village’s Hokage,” he mutters, eyes flickering down to our drinks being set on the countertop.

“Oh, so you’re a Shinobi then?” I ask, my interest sparked even more. I’ll be the first one to admit I’m a bit of a band chaser. I don’t know what it is, but Shinobis just do it for me. Besides, they’re the best for one-night stands. There’s a million of them and they’re usually too busy for anything more than a rang and bang.

“Um… I guess so.”

“You guess so?” I ask, downing my drink quicker than I probably should. “Well, if I ask if your hair is naturally red are you going to say you guess so?” I add, shifting closer to the man.

“I… um… yes, I’m… I’m naturally a redhead,” the man stutters, his cheeks quickly growing the same shade as his hair. “And you… you’re really close to my face.”

I let out a hum, slowly backing away from the shinobi. “Sorry, I’m coming off a little strong,” I mutter, waving down the bartender, who goes into action starting another drink. What’s that? Number four? Maybe I should slow down. Mr Shinobi is still nursing drink number one. “Not much of a drinker are you?”

“No, I am not. I’m only here because my brother wants to ‘get blasted’ before his wedding,” the man says, the words ‘get blasted’ falling out of his mouth like it left a nasty taste behind. “I am just here because he said I have to be.”

“What is it that you don’t like about drinking?” I ask, trying to push the conversation forward.

“I do not like my senses being unbeneficial. Besides, most alcohol does not taste good.”

“Well duh, you ordered a double shot of whiskey. If you want something that tastes good you need to get something fruity, like my margaritas. Want to try?” I push my untouched glass towards him, encouraging him to try something different.

“My sister says margaritas are girly drinks.”

“So? Who cares what your sister thinks?”

The man’s eyes settle on me again, his eyes round and full of confusion. “Why are you talking to me?”

“Because I’m a little more than buzzed and you’re a little more than hot,” I answer honestly, shifting closer to him. I rest a hand on his knee, resting my head against his so I can whisper in his ear. “Besides, I love the sight of a ginger on his knees.”

“You wish to have sex?” The man asks, his eyes widened again and hands fluttering up and down my arms. “You… you wish for me…. To…?”

I let out a few giggles, pressing a kiss to his cheek before I settle in my seat again. “Yes, but not until I slow down or until you catch up a bit, Sunshine.”

The Shinobi blinks a couple of times before his focus shifts to the drink I pushed toward him. He picks it up, downing it in a few gulps before setting the glass back down. “I do not like mangoes.”

I laugh again, sliding my nails over the inside of his thigh as I do so. “We could have ordered you a different flavor you know. What fruits do you like?”

“Apples.”

“Then let’s get you an apple margarita, ya?”

“Okay,” he mumbles, leaning closer as his eyes glare into mine. The closeness and intensity spook me a bit. “You are a strange person.”

“Why do you say that?”

“People usually don’t enjoy my… company.”

“You’re pretty, I don’t know who wouldn’t enjoy your company. But enough about your looks, you got any hobbies?”

The boy seems even more confused like he’s never given his looks any thought. “Plants,” he races out, eyes glancing at the apple-mixed drink that the bartender has left on the counter.

“Oh ya? I love plants. Willow trees are my favorite though,” I say, going on a ramble about the planet. The man nods along with my rant, his eyes locked on me the whole time. They’re pretty, slit, and a soft opal color. Dear Lord, all I can imagine is those pretty eyes looking up at me as he sits on his knees. “What’s your favorite plant, sunshine?”

“Barrel cactus!” He races out, blinking at me on repeat again. I get the feeling the man has never talked about himself before. “I… I mean, barrel cactus,” he says in a softer tone this time.

“Ya? Why’s that?”

                   ————————————

     The Sand Shinobi clung to me is as red as his hair, cheeks heated as his head presses into my neck. “You are pretty,” he murmurs against my throat, his body weight pressed into me.

“You are hot,” I compliment back, swaying a bit because of the man’s weight and the alcohol flowing through my system.

“No, you are like really pretty and nice and your skin is so soft, and oh my that sounds murderous,” the redhead mumbles on and on, his hands sliding over my bare arms as he nuzzles his nose against me. “You are so nice. Did I tell you that? You have been really nice to me. I want you to feel nice. Let me make you feel nice. Please?”

The high-ranked shinobi’s ‘please’ comes out whiney, turning my gears even more as I unlock my front door. “Ya? You want to make me feel nice?” I mumble, throwing my things onto the table next to the front door.

“Please? I want you to feel nice, so bad. Let me make you feel nice,” the redhead begs, his hands wandering up and down my shirt, gripping the material like he might fall over without me.

While we were at the bar we talked about what he does for work. I don’t know what any of the things he said meant but he kept talking about the Kage palace so he must be some kind of high rank ninja. Having such a highly regarded shinobi begging to go down on me only turns me on more.

“You want to make me feel nice, sunshine?” I ask, shifting in his hold so we’re face-to-face. His head shakes like crazy, and his eyes are soft for the first time tonight but still locked on me like I’m the core of the Earth. “Be a good boy and kneel for me, okay?”

“Okay,” he breathes out, sinking to his knees, his hands sliding down to grip my hips as he moves.

“Dear lord,” I mutter, the sight of the shinobi looking up at me rushing arousal down my body. His head is lead against me, chin gently pressed against the waistband of my pants, eyes locked on me, and hands gripping my love handles. “You look so hot right now.”

“You are beautiful. You are the moon. You are the stars hung in the sky,” he mutters, eyes intensely on my face as he looks up at me. “But I do not know what I’m doing.”

“What?” I ask, toying with the ends of his hair. “Have you never gone down on a girl before?”

“I have never done… anything with… anyone,” he mutters, cheeks heating up again as his eyes flicker around. “But I do wish to make you feel nice. Tell me how to make you feel nice. Please?”

“Ah… are you sure?” I ask, tugging his arms off of me. “We’re both drunk. This isn’t how you want to lose your virginity,” I continue to ramble, walking away from the man kneeling on my floor.

“No, please. Pretty please?” The man begs, crawling across the floor after me. “You’ve made me feel good all night. Let me make you feel nice,” he begs, wrapping his arms around my hips again and burying his head into my stomach. “Please?”

I let out a sigh, toying with his hair again as he nuzzles my stomach. “Alright, sunshine. Let’s go into the bedroom though, okay?”

The Sand Shinobi lights up at my agreement, his hands sliding up, picking me off my feet as he stands up again. He’s a bit wobbly as he adjusts to his drunken balance and my added weight. He’s still a bit unbalanced as he tries the doors, opening the spare room packed full of storage before he opens the door to my room. “You’re really pretty,” he tells me again, settling me on the bed.

I lock my legs around his waist, keeping him stuck on top of me. “You’re really hot,” I echo, shoving my hands into his hair as I tug his face down.

I crash my lips against his, rubbing myself on his growing bulge. “Oh my… you’re… we’re…” the redhead mutters into my mouth, his hands crawling up and down my sides. I let out a giggle, using my hold on his hair to shift his head to the side. “You, you, you… you’re…” The words stumble out of him as I brush my lips across his neck, softly sucking on his skin every couple of kisses.

“Do you want me to stop?” I mumble, working a hand out of his hair to toy with the hem of his shirt.

“No! Please, no. Please keep going,” he gushes out, hands clinging to my hips, pressing me down against him as he takes over our humping. “I want… I want to make you feel good. Tell me… tell me how to make you feel good.”

“Slow down a bit, sunshine,” I hum, tugging his shirt up. My eyes flicker a bit, rolling over the outline of his stomach muscles. “Take your shirt off for me, okay?”

The man moves quickly, sliding his shirt off and tossing it to the ground before settling back in his spot. “Now what do I do?” He asks opal-eyes stuck on me as he waits for his directions.

“Keep moving your hips,” I order, the man going straight to rubbing against me again. I let out steady breaths, trying to keep my mind straight to work our way through this. “That’s it, you’re being such a good boy,” I mumble, tugging my shirt off too.

“I’m… I’m what?” He asks, soft eyes blinking like crazy as his pace picks up. His eyes flicker between my face and my chest, mouth almost watering as he looks at my boobs.

“You’re being a good boy,” I repeat, gripping his hair to tug his face toward my chest. “Keep being a good boy. Kiss and suck on my chest as you hump me, okay?”

“Yes… yes, ma’am,” he whispers, lips brushing against my chest, occasionally testing different ways of sucking on my skin. “It’s… there’s marks,” he whines, nose nuzzling me before he litters my boobs in more kisses. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to leave marks.”

“I like marks,” I coo, raking my fingers through his hair. “You can leave as many marks as you wish.”

“I… I want… take it off,” the Shinobi husks out, a hand sliding under the wire of my bra. “Please take it off. Pretty please? I want… I want to suck on… please?”

A smile slides onto my lips from the sound of the redhead’s desperation. I give into his wants, sliding my hands behind my back to unclasp my bra. An audible whimper spills from the hardass shinobi when my boobs tumble out, his eyes blown out and entangled in my chest. His eyes flicker up to mine, his question stuck on his lips. “Go ahead, sunshine.”

With the permission voiced, his head dips down, his tongue sliding out to cup my nipple before he sucks it into his mouth. My hand searches for his, gripping it and tugging it up to my free boob. “Fuck, sunshine,” I whimper, working my hips against his as he toys with my chest.

“Hey,” I hiss after a couple of minutes, tugging his mouth off of me.

“I’m sorry. Did I hurt you? I’m so sorry,” he rambles, his desperation soaking out from his eyes, quickly coating his face.

“Hey, hey, hey, calm down,” I soothe, gently pushing his head down my body. “You just sucked a little too long, it’s no biggie.”

More sorrys tumble out of him as he kisses down my stomach, both hands on my chest now, squeezing my boobs as his mouth coats my torso. “I… what do…?” A whine falls from him, his inexperience getting to him.

“Sunshine, please calm down. You’re working yourself up. I’ll walk you through it,” I tell him, my fingers sliding under my waistband to tug my pants off. The ginger’s fingers wrap around the band too, quickly tugging my pants down my legs.

Once he’s back between my legs, my hands fall on his hair, slowly shifting his head down. “Can… I want… please?”

“Do whatever you want, sunshine,” I coo, twirling his hair around my fingertips. He jumps right in, coating my thighs in kisses and soft suckles as his hands grip my legs. His fingers dig into my flesh, sifting my legs open and closed around his head.

“I…” he mutters, tapping his nose against my underwear. “I want…”

“What do you want, sunshine?” I ask, toying with him as I grind myself against him. “Use your words like a good boy.”

“I want to go down on you. I want to taste you. I want you to feel good. Please? Mommy please?” I snap his head away from me, the bedroom name ringing in my head. “I’m sorry,” he races out, his opal eyes shiny and wide as he looks at me. “I didn’t… I don’t know why I said that. It won’t happen again.”

“It’s… fine. It just called me off guard is all,” I mumble, shifting his head back into please. I let out a few deep breaths before letting my hands go gentle in his hair again. “You still want to make Mommy feel good?”

“Yes,” he races out, littering kisses across my panties. “Please?”

“Ya… ya, make… make me feel good, baby.”

Another whimper falls from the man between my legs, his lip hungrily kissing my thighs as he tugs my underwear off. “What do I do?” He asks, eyes scanning my exposition before jumping to my face. “I just… lick at you, right?”

“Kind of, ya. You can move your tongue in and out of me too, or if you can find my clit you can suck and lick at that.”

“And your clit does what?” He asks, bending back down to bury his head in my pussy before his tongue starts sliding between my folds.

“My clit is a bundle of nerves that make me feel really good - and that’s it,” I moan out the second half, clinging to the roots of his hair. “Right… right there, baby.”

The Shinobi’s eyes jump up, locking in my face as his tongue swirls around my clit, running over it again and again. After a couple of licks, he changes direction, sucking on the bundle as his eyes scan my face. “Fucking… lord, baby,” I moan out, my back arching as my climax crawls forward. “Don’t, don’t, don’t change anything, you hear me? Keep doing that?” I order, my breath picking up as the edge moves closer.

He does as told, continuing to suck and swirl his tongue around in the way I’m enjoying. “Fuck. God damn it. Baby,” I whine, shoving his head further into me as the band in my stomach snaps.

Once I settle down from my high, the shinobi pops up from between my legs, eyes sparkling, and face covered in my mess. “Did I do good? I did good, right? Mommy, right?”

“Right,” I mumble, trying to steady my breathing. “Come here,” I call, leading him up my body. “You did so good. You’re such a good boy,” I coo, littering his face in kisses. A smile small crosses his face, eyes soft but still intense as he looks at me. What a weird little sandman.

“What do I do now?” He asks, head decking down to cover my chest in kisses. “Can I do it again, Mommy? Can I go down on you again? Please? Mommy please?”

“Not right now, sunshine. I want you to fuck me, okay?”

“Really?” He asks, his breath airy as he asks the question. “Can I? Can I really?”

“Ya. Let me grab a condom first,” I answer, leaning over to snap open my side table drawer. I dig around the drawer, searching for a rubber. “Um… do you have a condom?” I ask, shifting around the drawer some more.

“No, do you not have one?”

I let out a sigh, snapping the drawer closed. “No, I don’t, I’m sorry. Maybe if you’re in the village tomorrow - ”

“No,” he whines, burying his head in my chest, nuzzling my boobs as he whimpers. “I have to leave tomorrow. Please? It’ll be fine, right? One time won’t do anything.”

“You do know that sex leads to - ”

“I know how kids are made. Come on! Please? Pretty please?”

“Alright, okay. Just… don’t finish in me,” I give in, hands dropping down to work him out of his pants. My cheeks heat up as my fingers slide over his length, the soft virgin boy being bigger than I thought he would be. “Lord,” I mutter, working his pants the rest of the way down. Well, he definitely is a natural ginger.

“What? What’s wrong?” The Shinobi starts to panic, his eyes jumping around my body. “What did I do?”

“Hey, calm down. You work yourself up too much. You’re just… bigger than I thought you were going to be,” I mumble, settling my hands on his waist to shift him around.

“Is that a bad thing?” He asks, the opal of his eyes pooling into my view. The shinobi stumbles a bit, finding his balance above me. His hands settle on the sides of my head, nose pressed against mine as he looks down at me.

“No,” I breathe out, slowly using my hold on him to push his penis into me. “It’s… it’s a good thing, baby. A really good thing.” His chest pumps as he slides into me, his eyes fluttering as he looks down at me. “Okay, okay, um… do you think that you can move yourself in and out?” He nods his head quickly, mouth hung open as he sucks in oxygen. “Use your words, baby.”

“Yes, Mommy. Yes, I can. I can… I can move myself,” he mutters, his hips moving back and forth, tugging his dick in and out of me. “Mommy,” he whines, head barring into my neck.

“Sunshine, move a little faster,” I ask, my nails digging into his waist. “Please, baby.”

“Yes, ya, whatever you want,” he races out, his pace picking up. I’m shifted up the bed because of his thrusts, the tip of his dick bullying its way into me. My nails race across his sides, tearing into his skin as I’m forced up the bed, the promise of scratch marks left behind. “Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy,” he whines, his thrusts getting sloppy.

“Hey,” I call out, digging my nails into him harder. “You should probably…” a moan cuts off my next order, fingers digging deep enough that I can feel his blood trickling onto my fingertips.

“Damn it,” he whines, burying himself into me, his movements stalling as his hands jump down to cling to my sides. “I’m sorry, I didn’t… I didn’t mean to. I’m so sorry,” the redhead whines, head dipped onto my shoulder as he bottoms out in me. “I’m really sorry,” he whines again, the warmth of his cum filling me up.

                   ————————————

     My heart pounds as I push open the door to the convenience store. It's been a month... or two since I've had my period. I'm sure it's nothing, that the stress of life is just getting to me... but you can never be too sure.

     The sound of my blood rushing rings in my ears as I stroll around the store, eyes flickering around for the aisle I need. It doesn't take long for me to find the family planning aisle, only increasing my heartbeat.

     I feel like I'm going to throw up as I settle in front of the wall of pregnancy tests, quickly scanning over the pink boxes. I grab the cheapest one, figuring it’ll work just as well as the rest.

The sound of the test moving as I walk only makes my nausea worse. I’m sure I’m not pregnant, I’m sure it’s just stress. The test will come out negative. It’s just me crossing all my Ts and dotting all my Is.

“Hello! Did you find everything alright?” The cashier asks, an empty smile on her face.

“Ya, I did,” I mutter, placing the box on the counter.

The cashier’s eyes flicker between the box and me for a second before she scans it. “Would you like a bag?” She asks already placing it into one of the propped-up paper bags. “Your total is twenty-three hundred yen.”

I place the money on the counter, snatching the bag and the recite from the lady before turning on my heels. Panic and blood rush through me as I head toward the store bathroom. It’s going to be negative, this is just a precaution.

The lights of the bathroom are so bright that it almost blinds me, only adding to my stress. It’s just to check, it’s not going to be positive, it’s just to cross it off the possibility list.

I repeat the empty promises to myself as I take the test. My anxiety claws at my chest more and more as I wait for the test to process. How could I be so stupid? How could I let a one-night stand not use a condom? I always make them use one and then a hot sand shinobi shows up and all of a sudden my senses go out the window? What the hell? I can’t be a single mom. I can’t do this alone. But it’s fine because I’m not pregnant.

I shake the stick for a second, slowly opening my eyes to look down at it. “Well, shit.”

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[waterfire1848]

AU where Aang wakes up 30 years earlier 🙏🏼🙏🏼

Hello, @kibutsulove !!! Got it!

1. Aang wakes up when Hakoda (oldest but smallest of the group except for Aang) 16, Kya is 15, Bato is 15, Ozai is 16, Ursa is 14, and Zhao is 17. When Aang does wake up, he’s woken up thanks to Zhao attacking the village on his first mission and shooting fireballs at Aang’s iceberg (he leaves before noticing Aang). Hakoda, Kya and Bato grab him and bring him back to the village to rest up. Hakoda loves Appa so much while Kya and Bato are digging their nails into the saddle to stay alive.

2. The journey includes Hakoda, Kya and Bato traveling to the North Pole because Aang comes out of the iceberg a decade after Hama is taken away, so he needs to go there to learn waterbending. Hakoda just flat out tackles Pakku and starts punching him when he finds out who he is (Kanna deserved better). Zhao is on their tail the whole time because he’s trying to show off his skills to Ozai (who is too busy hating his showboating brother). Kya and Zhao have one or two or six sessions where they just talk about liking an idiot.

3. When Zhao fails, Ozai wants to go help him (Ursa kind of comes along because she believes the two will die without her) before Iroh (who is also now after Aang) can capture the Avatar. Let’s just say they aren’t as well oiled a team as Team Azula. Ozai is mission driven, Zhao is jealous because Ursa is betrothed to Ozai, and Ursa really is just doing her (she could not possibly care less about capturing Aang but she does find two of his companions kind of cute (bisexual!Ursa))

4. Iroh tries a baby’s first “siege on Ba Sing Se” while Ozai, Zhao and Ursa slip into the city disguises as Kyoshi Warriors. Aang’s earthbending teacher here would probably be Tyro (16) (who sadly isn’t a little blind girl but he is up for all kinds of chaos). Hakoda, Kya and Bato are living their best nonbender lives and watching Tyro through Aang around. (Aang: Aren’t you guys going to help?! Hakoda: You go this! Kya: We believe in you! Bato: Unbroken bones are overrated. Aang: 😑). Kya manages to confess to Hakoda in Ba Sing Se and the two start dating right before the city is taken over by the three Fire Nationals. Aang wouldn’t be killed here because there’s no way to bring him back to life.

5. Tyro, Hakoda, Kya, Bato and Aang all head to the Fire Nation and infiltrate it. While they’re there, Tyro does a prison break, Hakoda learns how to use a new weapon, Kya and Ursa have a secret girls day, Bato goes into the Fire Nation military for a single day and Aang helps out a town. (Kya: I can’t believe that all only took us two months. Hakoda: Yeah, it seems like the rules of time don’t really exist anymore). Meanwhile, Ozai, Ursa and Zhao return as war heroes with Ozai happily rubbing his success in Iroh’s face (but still not getting much positive attention from Azulon if any attention). Zhao grows even more jealous as Ozai and Ursa have to plan their wedding (which Ursa confessed to Kya she doesn’t want to go through with).

[obesessedwithjohndory]

brozone hcs because the brainrot is real and i love them all so much mwah mwah (except they’re mostly about john dory because i just love him so much 😖)

john dory 100% calls the toilet a shitter (every time i think of this i giggle)

john dory is dyslexic and struggled to write songs for the band when he was younger and he didn’t stop until he finally had them down

they have karaoke parties at bruce & sons when it’s closed for the evening and it’s just the brothers

branch hates it when they fight

floyd & jd move to pop village, floyd moves into the bunker with branch and john dory stays in rhonda but is always near the bunker & he spends the night there sometimes

branch is closest to jd & floyd

branch’s second favourite brother is john dory but he refuses to admit it

bruce can rap

john dory has 100% definitely been arrested before

john dory knows the rasputin dance and will most definitely put on a show when it’s put on at parties

bruce listens to 50 dad music

john dory is lowkey scared of ghosts and hates it when branch tells ghost stories in the bunker when it’s dark in there

john dory is the father (figure) branch never had & he hates to admit it

the bros are feminists

for the first like 6 months on branch’s life jd was his favourite and he would only stop crying if he was in his hair/ if he was holding him

they’re really good at acapella

john dory cries watching the titanic

once a month they’ll all either stay in the bunker or vacay island and they have a family game night & it always gets really competitive (usually between jd and clay, bruce had to intervene before the board game gets snapped in two)

their mum was eaten before trollstice by a bergen that broke into the cage guarding the troll tree when branch was still an egg & their dad was a total d!ck so he didn’t really care, not long after he left jd to look after all his brothers and then like probably a week later branch hatched

speaking of their mum, jd was a total mummy’s boy idc

it wasn’t until branch was about four months old that they moved in with rosiepuff so she could help out

bruce was in a musical (iykyk)

john dory can play the guitar

clay reads before he goes to bed and won’t until he’s read at least 50 pages

bruce is the type of guy to tell everyone they can’t eat their food until he’s taken pictures of it if they’re at a restaurant that isn’t his. it always ends in bruce scolding them as they all get tired of waiting and start eating

clay has an insane amount of sweater rompers

floyd subconsciously sings to himself when he’s anxious- it’s something he picked up when in the diamond while velvet & veneer had him captive

the goggles & glove are a comfort thing for jd

clay can beatbox but he doesn’t like doing it because “it’s not serious”

john dory and branch are always in sync one way or another and they don’t even realise it half the time

jd really wants kids but is worried he’ll mess that family up just like he messed his family up when brozone broke up

SORRY FOR THE LACK OF CLAY & FLOYD 😣 i’m gonna come up with some more hcs not only for them but for jd and my oc rhea (i’ll have to write abt her bc i can’t draw for shit 💔)

[whumpbby]

Ok, this is lame as hell, but I am quietly working on a JC/YQY I will probably never finish, but so far I'm in the strange of planning plot and characters, and for everything to go smoothly I am creating Jiang and Jin disciples to populate the scene.

And I just got a stupid, stupid idea for onexD

So, at the time the plot is happening, the canon ended some three-five years ago. The Jiang are just plowing along like usual. Wei Wuxian is travelling the world and not visiting Yunmeng, so the Jiang have no contact with him except for JC during some rare conferences in Gusu or something.

No matter.

The disciple in question is as old as long ago Wei Wuxian died the first time.

Actually, almost exactly this old.

The baby was born nine months after the fearsome Yiling Laozu was defeated, in some run down village at the border of Yiling. It was born out of wedlock, so disgrace. And it was born an albino with red eyes.

Instant panic! Yiling Laozu returned! His spirit reincarnated! He slept with the mother! Raped her! She was his disciple! He's taken over her own baby like a demon! Just - chaos and rumours and general backwoods idiocy.

It's so prevalent that the news get to JC, who at this point was in mourning and still looking for any trace of Wei Wuxian (there was no body, so there was still a chance he got out of it) and the demonic cultivation was slowly spreading across the land, so JC went personally to check it out.

What he found was a half-starved baby in a shed, mother gone, people treating the child like it was a demon and demanding that sect leader kills it.

Jaing Cheng got angry.

He couldn't even mourn in peace thanks to all the idiots that decided to take Wei Wuxian's name and run with it!

Zidian was never this bright. The whip slammed into the child (actually next to the child, the bright light made it so people around couldn't tell) once. Twice. Thrice.

"There. Zidian's power separates demons and ghosts possessing human souls. The child is safe now. It's not Yiling Laozu, never was."

And that was going to be it - except no one was rushing to gather the crying infant. No mother in sight. No family that would claim it. No one willing to pick it up.

In the end the Jiang sect claimed the child - fuck it, they already had a contingent of orphans left from the war, what difference will one more make?

So, the child grew in the sect, turned out to have potential, renked in cultivation and became very good at creating talismans, arrays and general research. (The research hall was nice and dark, and cool, better for sensitive albino skin than Yunmeng sun.) Some shixiongs even called them Little Laozu to tease;)

So, like, years later, the plot of my story happens and the disciple - who was always fascinated with the figure of Wei Wuxian - finally gets to meet him. They are a part of a research mission. The disciple aways wanted to talk to WWX!

They finally do.

And I am telling you all that, because it's a long setup for the disciple to ask Wei Wuxian:

"Yiling Laozu. Did you fuck my mom?"

...

I am so sorry ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ I will let myself out.

[warrioreowynofrohan]

LOTR Newsletter - September 30

Before dawn on September 30, the Ringwraiths attack both Bree and Buckland.

Gandalf's account to the Council of Elrond analyzes the probable movements of the Ringwraiths as follows:

“I do not know, but it seems clear to me that this is what happened. Their Captain remained in secret away south of Bree, while two rode ahead through the village, and four more invaded the Shire.

“But when these [the Ringwraiths] were foiled in Bree and at Crickhollow, they returned to their Captain with tidings, and so left the Road unguarded for a while, except by their spies.”

Gandalf also gives an account of his own experiences that day to the Council, and reading between the lines, I think this was one of the worst moments of his life. For part of the day, he believed that Frodo had been killed or captured, that the Ring had been retaken, and that this was in large part his own fault for 1) trusting Saruman and being taken captive and 2) deciding not to go back to the Shire in person and warn Frodo to leave now in early July, before setting out for Isengard.

“I came to Buckland and found it in uproar, as busy as a hive of ants that has been stirred with a stick. I came to the house at Crickhollow, and it was broken open and empty; but on the threshold there lay a cloak that had been Frodo’s. Then for a while hope left me and I did not wait to gather news, or I might have been comforted...”

He also blames Butterbur. And seriously, if you could follow the popular fanfiction trope of sending one character in LOTR back to 'redo' the plot with knowledge of what happened the first time, having it be Butterbur so he would remember to send the freaking letter would be a pretty high-impact one. Frodo would leave the Shire in mid-July, be able to travel to Rivendell via the Road, and make it to Rivendell by some time in August (in FOTR, even with all the difficulties, it takes him about a month), while the Ringwraiths were still on the east side of the Misty Mountains. If he set out from Rivendell in September-October, they wouldn't have had snow on Caradhras and would have been able to take the Redhorn Pass, and would have reached Gondor and Rohan well before the War of the Ring broke out.

(And Gollum would have starved to death in Moria and been unable to play his role in the destruction of the Ring, so I guess that shows the importance of Providence over meticulous planning.)

Butterbur dealing with a very angry wizard who, at first meeting, considers him pretty much personally responsible for the probable end of the world was probably not at all fun for him either! The expression on Gandalf's face can only be imagined.

And the overwhelming emotional switch from Gandalf thinking that Frodo is dead or captured by the forces of Mordor and that the Nazgul have the Ring, to Gandalf learning that Frodo was alive and in Bree that same morning and left with Aragorn...wow. Gandalf is having a Day.

...but I rode on the trail of the Riders. It was hard to follow, for it went many ways, and I was at a loss. But it seemed to me that one or two had ridden towards Bree; and that way I went, for I thought of words that might be said to the innkeeper. “ ‘Butterbur they call him,’ thought I. ‘If this delay was his fault, I will melt all the butter in him. I will roast the old fool over a slow fire.’ He expected no less, and when he saw my face he fell down flat and began to melt on the spot. “What did you do him?” cried Frodo in alarm. “He was really very kind to us and did all that he could.” Gandalf laughed. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I did not bite, and I barked very little. So overjoyed was I by the news that I got out of him, when he stopped quaking, that I embraced the old fellow. How it happened I could not then guess, but I learned that you had been in Bree the night before, and had gone off that morning with Strider. “ ‘Strider!’ I cried, shouting for joy. “ ‘Yes, sir, I am afraid so, sir,’ said Butterbur, mistaking me. ‘He got at them, in spite of all that I could do, and they took up with him. They behaved very queer all the time they were here: willful, you might say.’ “ ‘Ass! Fool! Thrice worthy and beloved Barliman!’ said I. ‘It’s the best news I have had since midsummer: it’s worth a gold piece at the least. May your beer be laid under an enchantment of surpassing excellence for seven years!’ said I. ‘Now I can take a night’s rest, the first since I have forgotten when.’ ”

The Ringwraiths are not done, and they are not happy at having missed the hobbits; they attack Bree again on the night of the 30th (though mostly to cause fear; it doesn't sound like anyone was actually injured, fortunately). But it shows why it really was best for the hobbits and Aragorn not to wait there another day, even though they would have met Gandalf if they had.

“So I stayed there that night, wondering much what had become of the Riders; for only of two had there yet been any news in Bree, it seemed. But in the night we heard more. Five at least came from the west, and they threw down the gates and passed through Bree like a howling wind; and the Bree-folk are still shivering and expecting the end of the world.

[it-was-funeral-grey]

Celestia-sent (Al Haitham x F!Reader)

Prequel Part 1 Part 2

Summary: There's a weird guy lying outside your house.

Warnings: Vulgarities, food (stew) , mentions of injuries , crying, reader mistakes al haitham as a old guy lmao, reader lives in vimara village, spoliers for al haitham's lore,

Word count: <1.7k words

Inspired by: -

Author's note: it was kinda therapeutic to write al haitham's part- the first half. not sure why. it just felt so easy. i miss my grandma. i should visit her once i feel better.

Please give criticism! Also, if i missed any warnings, do tell me so i can add them!

He's just lying there, faced down. His grey hair sticks out painfully against the brown dirt path, and you fight the urge to squat down to take a closer look. It's a shade of grey you have never seen before. It kinda looks like the moon.

Another old drunkard, you think. There's been many of them recently in Vimara village. Ever since the scandal in the Akademiya three months ago, Port Ormos had crashed. The whole port is a mess- what once was Sumeru's most efficient had become disorganised and stagnant overnight. Now, it's akin to a ghost town- especially after the mass layoff of port employees.

Trading has halted completely, the Wikala Funduq citing 'awaiting instructions from Akademiya higher ups'. But so far, no one from the Akademiya has come down to remedy the situation and help revitalise Port Ormos.

As a result, private traders can't do business, and trading companies can't do business, so no one is making money anymore. Traders from Inazuma and Snezhnaya had stopped docking in Sumeru. In a couple more months, Port Ormos would lose its position as the central trading hub of Teyvat. Sumeru will lose a terrifying portion of its national income. It will only get worse from there.

Vimara village was outraged at the mass layoff. Most port employees lived there, after all. In an instant, families lost all sources of income. The village community had tried to help each other, sharing food and whatever they could with each other. But this was only a temporary solution. The stress of unemployment is beginning to weigh heavy on many, which is why many have taken to drinking recently.

Which is why you aren't surprised that a guy's passed out on the ground. What was surprising is that you had never seen this dude before.

He's wearing expensive clothes, you note. He's definitely not from the village. Clad in green, he'd almost look like a plant if not for his grey hair. There's a cape hanging off his back, and on a shoulder is what you think is a vision.

Damn, you wonder. What kind of guy is this?

Curiosity gets the better of you. Squatting down next to the old guy's side, you lay your groceries down. Strangely, you don't smell any alcohol on him. So, not a drunkard?

"Hey, uh… sir?" you shake his shoulder, brushing your fingers over his vision. It's cool to the touch, the green orb emitting a gentle glow amidst the fading daylight. "Wakey wakey, mister?"

The man doesn't wake. You sigh. What are you going to do? It's almost nighttime. You can't just leave him here. I mean, you could, but still…

There's a pleasant aroma in the air, accompanied by the sound of sizzling oil. Onions, Harra spice… stir-fried with snapdragon leaves?

It reminds Al Haitham of his grandmother's cooking. Maybe she's making dinner now. He's pretty hungry.

Huh. Now that he thinks of it, it has been a long time since he's had dinner with her. When was the last time he even spoke to her? Or visited her?

He has so much to tell her.

He has to tell her about his job as a Scribe. Well, for now, he's the ACTING Grand Sage. Not for long, though. He'll make sure of that.

He's got to tell her about the stunt he pulled to save Lesser Lord Kusanali. She'd enjoy that tale. Probably scold him for being so reckless as well, though.

Yeah, he'll do that. Maybe he'll ask for a second serving of rice too. He's really, really hungry.

Then, he'll ask for advice on how to handle the whole shitshow that he has been assigned to run. She'll know what to do. She always does. She'll teach him how to manage the infinite number of impossible tasks thrown his way.

She'll comfort him. She'll tell him that in no time, he'll be back to his usual job: stress-free and not responsible for saving the nation from a crisis that may result in future generations growing up in poverty and political instability.

She'll hear him out as he rants about the mess Azar and those fuckers ("Language, Al Haitham!") had left him. And how everyone was so reliant on the Akasha terminals and the sages' leadership that when all that disappeared, they were clueless. They can't function anymore. Systems fall apart. People stop working. And because of that, he has to do everything on his own, and he's so tired and-

The sizzling sound has stopped. Is it dinner time already?

But he doesn't want to get up. Not now. Just ten more minutes, please?

There's a faint scraping sound. A spatula against a wok. If he tries hard enough, he can hear a plopping sound. So, it's a stew. He hopes it's Sabz Meat stew. That's his favourite.

How long has it been since he had a homemade meal?

Footsteps. Ok, no ten minutes, then. He'll get up.

Wincing, he sits up. His whole body aches. His knees feel sore. That's weird. He hadn't fallen or hit anything, but he feels bruises forming all over his arms and legs.

Trying to adjust to the bright light, Al Haitham slowly opens his eyes. He's in a small living room. Huh, he doesn't remember his grandmother moving. She never had this couch he was resting on either. Or the wooden coffee table in front. Or that many Liyue magazines.

"Ah, you're awake!"

That's not his grandmother's voice. Wait, what did her voice sound like again?

Al Haitham whips his head towards the voice so fast he pulls a neck muscle. Groaning, he reaches for his neck, massaging it before attempting to turn around, slowly this time.

"Hey, relax!"

There's a soft click from behind, and then frantic footsteps. Someone runs around the couch.

It's a woman. Not his grandmother.

Oh.

Oh yeah. Of course, it isn't her.

"Are you feeling alright?"

Hah, what was he doing, dreaming? Someone like him? Dreaming?

"Uh…sir?"

Of course, it isn't her. The dead can't come back to life. He's alone now. He has been for the past decade.

"…sir?"

He'll always be alone. Now, and for the foreseeable future. If he can even ensure that Sumeru still has one.

There's a hot sensation on his face, snapping him out of his thoughts. It's the woman again. This time with a bowl in her hand, holding it right in front of him.

He'd recognise that aroma anywhere. It's Sabz Meat stew.

"Um, I'm not sure what's going on," she says, placing the bowl into his hands. "But why don't you eat first?"

She pulls the coffee table closer towards him and walks back behind the couch to retrieve cutlery from the kitchen and a plate of rice. Laying them on the coffee table, she then sits on the floor, watching him.

"I didn't add lemons, but I can get you some if you want?" she asks when he doesn't move.

A minute passes. Al Haitham can't move. He can't, and he honestly doesn't want to.

What's the point of moving? Everything moves too fast. He'll never catch up. There's too much. There will always be proposals he can't clear in time. A question he can't answers right now. A policy he needs time to understand. Time that he doesn't have. Time that Sumeru can't afford to lose. He'll always be behind. And because of that, Sumeru will fall behind. Because of him.

It's almost funny. Before all this, he had never worried about being behind. He barely worried about anything.

"Come on," she prompts, taking a spoonful of rice and handing it to him when he still doesn't move. "Eat. You'll feel better after you eat."

Al Haitham doesn't have the energy to resist or deny her. Taking the spoon, he dips it into the bowl, letting the rice soak up some of the stew before lifting it to his mouth.

And suddenly, he's 19 again. He's in the dining room, having dinner with his grandmother again. She's lecturing him about spending too much time alone at home. Again.

"You may not understand now, Al Haitham. But there are people out there- good people. People willing to listen, be patient with you, and shoulder burdens with you. Comfort you."

Al Haitham reaches over to scoop another spoonful of rice. His eyes feel funny. So does his nose.

"You are never alone, child. I just want you to know that. "

Am I really?

Then just send one person, please. I'm waiting.

I've been waiting for a long time now.

"And one day, you may find someone that you can bare your soul to-you do have a soul, child. Everyone has one- no, yours isn't as dark as that 'black coffee'."

His vision is blurry now. With hydro. How strange. He chomps down another spoonful of stew. It's delicious. He hasn't had comfort food like this in a long, long time.

Just one sign. Please. I can't do this anymore.

"But until then, grandma is here to stick by you, hm? Until you stop being stubborn and go make friends!" 

The woman shifts in her seat on the floor. In his peripheral, he sees her reach over to a box, pulling out tissues.

She moves closer to him, a little bit hesitantly. But when she realises that he isn't moving away, she gently dabs his eyes with the tissue.

"There, there?" she comforts awkwardly. She then reaches over to pat his back. "It's gonna be ok. Just let it out."

And that's all it takes. It's so weird. Hydro Tears begin to flow freely. He chokes back a sniffle.

She doesn't stop patting his back. The weight of her palm is comforting- almost grounding.

He cries. In the presence of an absolute stranger, he cries ten years worth of tears in a night.

Later on, as he drifts off back into the realm of sleep to the rhythmic pats on his back, Al Haitham wonders if this is what his grandmother meant.

Maybe there really are people that are willing to stand by someone like him.

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[hauntedhokage]

Bonded

Itachi Uchiha/F!Reader

summary: every problem has a solution. your anger at his lack of consideration for your emotional needs is solved with sex. that’s totally how it works. 

patching up masterlist

word count: 3.4k

note: we’re sliding into shippuden territory now :) and more fluff-angst roller-coaster now :) 

warnings: penetrative sex, unprotected sex,

“Your husband has been kinda annoying lately,” Kisame comments as he walks through the village with you, and you look up at the much taller man with interest as you process the title that had been bestowed upon your lover. Husband? Last you checked you hadn’t taken Uchiha as a surname nor had Itachi asked if you would, so where did Kisame get that you were married?

“Since when are we married?”

“You basically are at this point. Calling him your boyfriend feels too juvenile, and it’s been like a year? Two years? Might as well be married.” The reasoning is interesting, but you aren’t going to argue with a swordsman who has made up his mind. Kisame could be more stubborn than Itachi depending on the topic, and you could tell this would be one of those topics even if it felt odd that he cared so much. “How long has it been anyway?”

“Almost four years since I left, and a little over two since Itachi and I discussed our feelings.”

“And he basically moved in with you.”

“Is there a point you’re trying to make with this, Kisame?”

“He doesn’t seem different to you these days? You’d notice easily, I’m sure.” 

“No, he seems like he always does. What are you noticing?”

“He feels colder to me. Not that he’s a ray of sunshine normally, but he’s been off. Distant.”

That was concerning. He had been a bit standoffish this morning, but you assumed that he was just tired and went about your morning. Everything else had seemed to be normal, maybe he was trying to keep you from worrying. He did tend to protect your feelings more than was probably wise, given the overall situation that was your life together. 

“I’ll keep an eye on him. You know how he is, though.”

“Yeah, but I know he talks to you more.”

That was fair. Your relationship with him was different from the relationship he had with Kisame (who you would argue was Itachi’s first wife). More emotionally open, which was to be expected considering the nature of your relationship, so Itachi was more likely to talk to you than to anyone else if something was bothering him. But there was a need to protect you that Itachi had; not from hard inevitable truths but from the things that your lover felt weren’t for you to concern yourself with.

“I’ll see what I can figure out. No promises on intel, though.”

“I just don't want to deal with him moping around during our next mission. It’ll be a longer one.” 

“You guys got new orders?”

“He didn’t tell you? We leave tomorrow, a couple months out there looking for one of the tailed beasts.”

You were going to kill him, how could he not tell you he’d be leaving for so long? It’s with that new information that you leave Kisame, letting him know that he might need a new partner sooner than anticipated as you turn down the side street that would get you home faster. You didn’t care that you’d left your umbrella in Kisame’s hand, didn’t care about the cold rain, you needed to yell at Itachi for not telling you something so important. 

“Why didn’t you tell me!?” is the first thing out of your mouth when you make it home, not bothering to look at your lover as he watches you from the kitchen. “I have to find out from Kisame that you’re leaving tomorrow and that you’ll be gone for months? What the hell were you thi-” 

You’re stopped mid-sentence when you turn, receiving two fingers gently jabbing your forehead and stopping you in your tracks. You hated how light on his feet Itachi could be, and how he always snuck up on you so easily since his chakra signature could easily overwhelm your senses when you were in close proximity that you couldn’t register how close he actually was. You also hated that two fingers to your forehead would always stop you in your tracks - that wasn’t fair. 

“I was going to tell you this morning,” he states, removing his fingers from your forehead and gently resting them against your bottom lip. “Then we got distracted, then you had plans with Kisame and I wanted to make sure you still went. It’ll be a longer mission than usual; but I’ll be coming home to you, so I didn’t think it was too big of a deal when I told you - just as long as I did. Have I not been gone longer?”

You don’t respond, not a huge fan of how effectively he silenced you with just two fingers and hating that he had a point. But you weren’t lovers on borrowed time when he’d been gone for eight months, you weren’t used to waking up beside him the last time he’d been gone for so long. He was a massive part of your life now, did he not think you’d feel this more deeply after everything you’d done together? 

“I only regret that you found out from Kisame and not myself.”

“You’re so frustrating sometimes,” you comment, gently nipping at his fingertips before you move away from him to get a towel for your wet hair. You could be mad all you wanted, but he wasn’t going to crack so you needed to move away from him so you could calm yourself down on your own. “I love you dearly, but you can be so narrow-sighted.”

“How so?”

“Sure, we’ve gone longer with being apart but the last time we weren’t like this and practically married like Kisame says. I didn’t know your brother was training to kill you and that you wanted it to happen, everything about the circumstances were different.” He’s watching you carefully as you squeeze your hair with a towel, and for the first time you aren’t feeling small by his stare. You were upset and you needed him to understand why you were so upset about this. Letting him make you feel small was not going to help you establish that point. “We don’t know if this’ll be the last time you leave me, we don’t know if you’ll come back, and I think I deserve more than just a couple hours of notice that you’ll be leaving for an extended period of time!”

If he didn’t get it after that, then you weren’t sure what you were going to do. For a man who was regarded as a genius, Itachi could be rather dense when it came to your feelings and perspective. He cared about your feelings, and you knew that, but he never fully understood them because you were living a different life than he was. You could play house all day, but that didn’t change the inevitable truth that you were playing different games. 

“I see.” Did he really? 

“I’m sorry.” Was he really?

Clearly you don’t look convinced; because he’s closing the distance between you slowly, almost as if he was trying to calm a wild animal, and that has you crossing your arms over your chest as you let out a huff. You were mad, not feral, and being regarded as some unpredictable animal was not helping to ease your irritated mood.

“You’re right, our circumstances are different now than they were before. You’re also correct in saying that I cannot guarantee that I’ll come home to you.” Firm hands cup your cheeks, ensuring that you’d continue to look at him as he spoke to you. “But I can promise that I’ll do my best, is that not enough?”

“I don’t think you fully understand, Itachi.”

“Understand that you’re not used to the realities of being a shinobi? That you have different emotional needs due to being raised differently than I was? Until now, I’d say you were correct. I don’t have a perfect grasp, and I never will, but I do understand that I’ve hurt you by not telling you sooner.”

“Shouldn’t take the sharingan to see that,” you mutter, feeling somewhat better but not totally appeased. You were still mad; no amount of soft tones, admission of guilt, or gentle touches would change that. Did he actually understand what your emotional needs were? 

“Please trust that my intent was never to cause you pain. I know now that I have and I am deeply sorry. I will learn from this mistake and communicate more timely with you when it involves my assignments.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.” And he’s leaning in to kiss your pout away, testing the waters for how affectionate you’d let him be while your face was still warm and limbs trembled beneath his touch with your anger. Something stops him as his nose brushed against yours, half lidded eyes searching your face for something that you’re not sure of - but you’re certain he hadn’t found it based on the way he pulls back.

“Did Kisame really say we’re married?”

“Called you my husband and said you were being annoyingly distant.” He was going to have to deal with that on his own, you had mostly handled your issue and didn’t want to fully involve yourself in his business with Kisame. You can tell that he’s thinking hard about that one; there were risks to saying out loud that Itachi Uchiha had a little wife (even if you weren’t technically married), most of them involving the younger Uchiha sibling but the other risk being that you could be used to get to the Akatsuki. You were always just as much a liability to the group as you were an asset, perhaps more of a liability considering your somewhat limited skillset.

“Am I safe?” Your question has him nodding immediately, which you trusted without doubt. If you weren’t safe he’d make sure that you were. 

“You’re very protected, Kisame is smarter than to say things like that to just anyone.” It’s your turn to nod, uncrossing your arms and placing them on his shoulders. It’s then that you realize he’d been shirtless this entire time, and you’re questioning just how attentive you truly were if you missed that. “Allow me to properly apologize for my lack of consideration.”

You have a good idea as to how he was going to do that so you nod, knowing that no amount of anger was going to have you denying yourself that pleasure - especially not before he was about to leave for months. 

“May I kiss you?”

You could make him work for it, Itachi was rather impatient when it came to receiving your affection and that could be very entertaining for you. You were still a bit upset, he’d understand needing to earn that affection, but he was so close and you couldn’t resist your own temptation standing in front of you. 

His body fits against yours perfectly, your kiss promoting a satisfied hum from Itachi as his hands move from your cheeks to your thighs. One tap had you jumping, his hands supporting you as your legs locked around his waist with your kiss not breaking until you’re gasping against his mouth as your back hits the wall a bit harder than expected. Your hand is tugging at the red tie keeping his hair in place, freeing the long dark hair from its confinement only to have a tight grip on it as his lips travel along your jaw and down the column of your neck to the collar of your shirt. 

“I’ll replace them,” is all he says before you feel his hand leave your thigh. Cool air hits your stomach before you’d even registered the sound of the kunai ripping cleanly through the fabric of your shirt and bra, and his hand is holding your breast as he’s hoisting you higher up the wall so he can bring the other into his mouth. 

“We should go to the bed, y-yeah?” Your suggestion is met with a soft hum, one that you swear echoes through your chest.

“Could do it on the floor,” he mumbles against your skin, nipping at the tender skin of your breast before soothing over the spot with his tongue. “Couch, counter, or even this wall.”

But he’s moving you from the wall, carrying you through the door to your bedroom and carefully depositing you onto your mattress. His pants are off and he’s pulling at yours before you can think to do so, leaving you to watch as kisses his way up your leg until he is comfortably laid between your thighs and spreading your folds so he could look at you. 

“What happened to the wall?”

“Can’t do this,” is all that he says before he’s gently pushing two fingers into your already wet cunny. “Everything about you is so beautiful, I hate not getting to look at you properly when I get to pleasure you like this.”

Your face is warm at the admission, your hand pushing back into his hair as his tongue drags over your clit. Itachi always took his time with you, so you’re not surprised by the languid pace of his fingers and tongue against your most sensitive spots even if you did wish that he’d move just a bit faster. He knew just how to touch you to carefully stoke the fire in your core, but not to get you too worked up too quickly that you got too sensitive too quickly. He never wanted to overstimulate you too soon, always wanted you present and comfortable in these intimate moments. 

“Ita-Itachi please,” you whine as you approach that edge, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth when he only hums against your clit before looking up at you. 

“Please what, darling?” he asks, hooking his fingers in a way that has your hips arching into him. “Would you like for me to stop?”

You shake your head frantically, and he smiles as he rubs your thigh with his free hand. 

“Please make me come.” Your request has him nodding, then a forearm is pressed against your hip to keep you in place as his tongue glides against your went cunt through to lap at your dripping entrance while his thumb circles your clit in fast strokes that have you quickly reaching and toppling over that edge of pleasure that has your toes curling into the sheets beneath you. 

He’s a mess as he makes his way up to lay beside you, neatly combed hair now messy from your desperate grip on the dark tresses and his lips and chin glistening with your essence. You’re eager to taste yourself on him, pulling him into a sloppy kiss and groaning at just how wonderful he tasted. His hands are pulling you so you straddle him, one hand stays on your hip while the other takes your chin in a firm grip to keep you where he wants you. 

“Sit yourself on my cock, dearest,” he requests, voice nothing more than a whisper against your lips but the sound echoes through your ears and sends shockwaves along your spine. Your ruined shirt and bra are shed as you sit up straighter, your hand taking his length in a gentle hold so you could guide yourself onto him. He’s content to lay back against the pillows, watching as his cock gradually disappears as you sink down onto him. The hand on your hip moves in search of your clit, happy to tease the nerve bundle and watching your face contort in pleasure at his motions. 

“How’s that feel?”

“So good, ‘Tachi,” you mumble, your walls clenching around him when he presses down on your clit. “Do you feel good?”

“Heavenly,” he assures, biting his lip as you start to ride him. You two were no longer the clumsy virgins who weren’t exactly sure how it all fit together, this was a practiced dance that he was glad to have practiced with you and only you (with some initially unwanted advice from Kisame that paid off). You were confident as you moved on top of him, knowing just what he needed and more than happy to give it at a pace of your choosing. 

After a few minutes you’re leaning down, your lips connecting to his in a kiss that was as languid as your pace but so full of the love that you had for him that it was almost overwhelming - but they all felt like that.

But then he can’t take it; no longer has the patience to drag out your pleasure - not when you had all night. So he’s carefully pushing you onto your back, making sure to keep himself buried inside you as he repositions you both so he’s on top of you with one of your legs on his shoulder while the other is held against his hip as he begins to piston into you.

“Where’s your patience?”

“I’m not a very patient man when it comes to you.” The confession is punctuated by a particularly harsh thrust that had you seeing stars, and he’s smiling to himself at how precious you look beneath him. Eyes shut tight as you try to prolong your end, hands gripping his wrists as your breasts bounce with each of his movements. “You’re so pretty, darling.”

Your wonderfully slick walls begin to constrict around him, making your already tight cunt feel impossibly tighter and urging him closer to that end. Needing you to come first, his hand returns to your clit, two fingers rubbing against the sensitive nerve bundle until you were crying his name into the darkness of your bedroom as he praises you through it. A few more thrusts and he’s letting himself go inside you, his grip on your thigh tight enough that he’s sure there will be bruises for him to kiss before he leaves as his hips still against yours. Your eyes are closed as your body relaxes into the mattress, and he’s carefully lowering your legs to a more relaxed position before he eases himself out. 

Instead of moving to lay beside you, he’s settling between your legs with his head on your stomach, and you can only bring your hand to rest atop his head as the room gradually settles. His breathing returns to normal, the rise and fall of his body between your legs helping you to time your own breathing to calm yourself. 

“If things were different, would you have married me?” The question is asked so quietly you almost don’t hear it. But you did, and you’re looking down at the man who is resting his head on your stomach. He’s not looking at you, instead looking out at the wall to your left, but you’re not bothered. Itachi didn’t handle his own vulnerability well.

“I’d marry you tomorrow if you asked me to,” you admit, your fingers pushing through his hair and gently scratching at his scalp like you knew he liked. “And before you say it, I really don’t care about the questions people would ask. I don’t need a different reality, this one is more than enough for me to want to be your wife.”

“You love me that much.”

“I do.”

“Two children, maybe three. A son and a daughter for sure.”

“Maybe a cat?” His fingers are carefully drawing patterns on your side, being careful not to tickle you. You’re grateful that he’s still looking at the wall, because the tears in your eyes would not be easily hidden. To discuss a future that would never be was hard, especially with a man who you loved so much. “I always wanted a cat but my parents never let me have one.”

“No?” 

“Said cats were dirty.”

“Of course they did. Cats would’ve been able to catch the mice running around that place.” He was right, but they’d never see it that way. “You can have as many cats as you’d like.”

“I’ve already got you, so just one would do.” Your teasing has him chuckling before a kiss is tenderly placed to your stomach, and he’s looking at you now as you look down at him. “I love you, Itachi Uchiha.” 

“I love you, too.” Another kiss, but then he’s moving so that he laid beside you. Gentle fingers push your hair back, a warm palm holds your cheek as you look at him with a fondness that was only his. And the name that leaves his lips is yours, but with Uchiha in place of your surname and that has a fresh warmth spreading throughout your chest as he seals his intention with a kiss. This was all he could give you, nothing official in the eyes of anyone besides yourselves, but it was more than enough. 

And as his hand brings your thigh up to his hip, his hardening erection pressing against your slit, you know you’re about to consummate the unofficial bond.

[seraphirism]

Hello!!! I hope you're having a great day! If you don't mind I really want to know more about Boschi and his past

hii and I don’t mind at all (*^▽^*)!! thank you for the request and opportunity to talk about him!; as I’ve mentioned probably a dozen or so times, I love talking about aknk and especially about our King Boschi 💞!! so let me be your host today and talk your (and all readers) heads off about Boschi.

so grab a snack or drink because this is about to be really long; by the way, I’ll keep this post updated and add relevant information about Boschi’s past that I learn from any new content I consume.

spoilers about chapter 4 (part 4) + Boschi’s card story + event story of “wish upon a black rabbit” event.

Background: a few months before Boschi was born.

so Boschi was born in the East, in the region of Sougetsu/ソウゲツ to a noble family (whose name, for some reason we don’t know.). his father was an aristocrat with some influence in the East, while Boschi’s mother was from a small noble family from a mountainous reagion in the East. Boschi’s mother’s family, while being nobles, were not as wealthy or influential in any way.

Boschi’s father had three wives, his third wife being Boschi’s mother.

we don’t know much about the second wife; just that the first wife was involved in her and her son’s murder.

the first wife was a power hungry woman from a very powerful noble family in the East, (yep, you guessed it! Seiran family.) and even back then, Seiran family had a lot of influence. because of her background, position and the fact she was the first of all wives to have a son, the first wife exerted her influence in their family (evident by how she ended up killing the second wife and her son).

now, we have a rough time line of when Boschi and his half siblings were born:

[the first son/child to be born in their family was the first wife’s.]

now jump to maybe an year or so later the second wife had her first son, then Boschi was born and a month after, the second son of the first wife was born.

the second wife’s son was killed along with his mother sometime before Boschi was born.

[by the way, all of this happened likely months apart; there isn’t a huge gap in time. I’m still not sure about the order of their births so if anyone can correct me, they’re more than welcome.]

Boschi’s birth and the events leading up to that day:

now, when Boschi was born, his mother was afraid that he would get killed next by the first wife if she found out.

[Boschi’s mother was physically unhealthy/frail (this was partly helped by the fact that she was being poisoned all this time by the first wife (in small doses to weaken her.). so after Boschi’s birth she would no longer be able to have children.]

Boschi’s mother, knowing the danger she and Boschi were in, decided to give him up to his wet nurse and send her off to the West. she would then go ahead to tell everyone in the palace that she was attacked by bandits while she was out and her child died due to the wounds he sustained. then, she would no longer be a threat to the first wife and be able to live peacefully in the palace.

Boschi was taken by his wet nurse through a cave in the forests close to their palace, leading away from their land.

now Boschi was sent with his wet nurse to the West where they lived in a small village. Boschi, growing up, was told that his parents died in an accident. (his wet nurse passed herself off as his grandmother, which is how I’ll be referring to her from this point.).

Boschi grows up well, going to school and back, helping his grandmother out at their house with repairs from a young age and later in his teens helping everyone in the village with small errands (repair, hunting for food etc).

[this is where Boschi got his love for building houses and handling decor ✨]

Boschi also studied well (because his grandmother wanted him to be aware and knowledgeable). she may have hid his lineage from him, but she did not want him to grow up unlike other noble kids.

(by the way, Boschi and his grandmother were not financially well and barely made ends meet, until he went into his teens and later, since he could work. his work was mostly hunting/repair/protection).

the day that changed everything, fast: Boschi’s twentieth birthday.

now, on his twentieth birthday he returned home from hunting a deer. he was planning on celebrating the day with his grandmother when a stranger (older in age) visited their house.

he tells Boschi that he’s a noble and an heir to the position of his father. on the approval of the third wife (Boschi’s mother), the man (who was a soldier) had come to inform Boschi of his lineage and to take him back for something very important.

[he had a very bad reaction to it, calling it a prank made in bad-taste but after being shown proof through a ring with a seal of his mother’s family that was kept by his grandmother all these years (it was given by his mother to her to sell if she couldn’t make ends meet), he believed everything, although perplexed.]

he was told that his younger half brother (the second son, I believe?) and the first wife had assumed a rule of total tyranny and were executing any man that they did not like. the people were also in a financially bad state.

[his father was sick and in bed so he couldn’t intervene to stop the two.]

the older loyal men to the family head (his father) were planning a coup d'état and planning on replacing Boschi’s younger half brother with Boschi, who has more right to the throne since he’s older.

they would do this with the approval of Boschi’s father.

[Boschi’s existence may not have been known to the civilians or most of his family but his hair (dark blue) and eyes (green) were a dead giveaway that he was his father’s son and the lustre of his hair was exactly like his mother’s; hence there was no question of people not believing him.]

Boschi was reluctant in the beginning but decided to go ahead with the men with their coup.

[that was because he believed that by assuming the position of the head of the family, he’d be able to have enough money and influence to get a good doctor for his grandmother, who due to age and illness was not doing well.]

the coup and the events that followed:

they go ahead, the coup was successfully; it ended without any blood shed and the men of the first wife were arrested, along with her and her son. (there’s a bit of time skip here, maybe a week or so) and the first son and first wife are brought out in public who sneer and throw slurs at them.

civilians and the people who started the coup wanted both of them executed publicly for their crimes and that’s what they were expecting when the two were brought out.

[this was going to be Boschi’s first every public appearance.]

[by the way, younger half brother gets revealed in this fiasco to have been a child born out of wedlock, according to rumours that is. basically, his mother (the first wife) had an affair with another man. Boschi asserts this since the younger half brother did not look like his father at all.]

Boschi appears and reads their crimes out loud as the people watch, in anticipation; he announces that their sentence would be an execution for their crimes but he’s going to grant them a pardon, have them exiled from the East, rather than executing them.

[Boschi states the reason for this. this was because that the treatment of the son and first wife was going to be his first decision as an heir and he didn’t want blood being shed to be that or for that to be his image in the eyes of people. he did not want the people to think he’s cruel like them and someone who would possibly execute the civilians easily over small crimes.

basically, him pardoning them would show the civilians that if he’s capable of showing mercy to people threatening his rule, he could show mercy to his civilians as well. later, rumours would spread that their land is not cruel to its people and even outsiders would come for business endeavours/job opportunities. he thought the decision on a long run.]

things are beginning to look up?; the events leading up to that night.

now, time skip to a little while later; he’s learning about the problems of his territory, it’s geography and what issues his people are having (everything being new to him). he also has his grandmother being treated by doctors .

[she had a persistent cough I think and wasn’t physically in the best state.]

he meets his mother for the first time and while the meeting is awkward, he hopes their relationship will get better with time.

[by the way, his mother’s physical and mental health was pretty bad; she blames herself for the fact that Boschi grew up away from his parents and had a harsh life. she also believes that by giving up Boschi, he might think she didn’t want him, that’s why she doesn’t try to make attempts to get closer to him, because she thinks she has no right to act like a mother all this time later.]

[almost forgot, Boschi’s father (who was sick all this time in bed) passes way; Boschi was now officially the head.]

[the way this was revealed in the story was amazing 😭💞! on one visit to his mother, he tells her that the Head of this family is worried about you. she laughs in response, saying that to the Head she was already someone from the distant past and as the heir, Boschi has no need to be concerned about her (she was putting herself to be insignificant.).

he tells her he’s not an heir (not any longer). she goes quiet in shock. then he reiterates himself, saying that he said the Head is worried about you; he’s the Head now. and he wants her to eat well and become better so they can make up for all the time they’ve missed spending together these past 20 years. he also added that he would abolish all old traditions and rules (the ones that restricted noblewomen from going out too much) so she has no need to worry.]

[also noteworthy; Boschi wasn’t shown to be upset or affected by his father’s death in any way. it’s likely, that his father was overall not a good person either, considering his relationship with Boschi’s mother too.]

that night: the beginning and the end.

Boschi was having a walk with his mother, talking about he’s going to go out hunting soon and get some good food for his mother and how they should go out together (him, his grandmother and mother.). his mother asks him whether he’s happy now, and he replies with a wide grin that he is; he’s surrounded by people who love him, his family. his mother, was pleased by this.

their peaceful talk is interrupted when armed forces (under Seiran family) attack them. [it’s later revealed that they come in to attack from a secret passage in the palace, known only to the first wife who taught the armed forces about it.]

his mother gets struck by an arrow and his attempts to save her prove futile as she dies there, since her health wasn’t the best to begin with.

Boschi rushes to find his grandmother inside the palace and leaves with her on his back. he runs outside the palace to the forest nearby, attempting to lose the armed forces.

there, an arrow grazes Boschi’s arm but he brushes it off, still focusing his strength on running as fast as he could with the forces hot on his tail. he finally sees a cave hidden in the forest and decides to hide there for a while.

as Boschi makes plans to escape, his grandmother tells him to leave her behind. he reacts harshly to that, saying she was his only family left now and there was no way he was leaving her behind. there he sees that she was shot in the back with an arrow which was meant for him (yep, the one that grazed him in the arm.).

she ends up passing away with Boschi crying away into the night.

[that was a super emotional scene by the way; she reminisces the night she carried Boschi in her arms (when he was a baby) and escaped through a cave in the forest to the West. the same cave that now Boschi had carried her to this time to escape. she says the time she raised Boschi was her happiest time and she hopes he would continue to be a kind hearted person who helps people 😭.].

the events following + till Boschi becomes 28:

Boschi returns to the West, has his grandmother buried in the forest; the area was well hidden so it would be safe from attacks (of angels and people.). he quickly reaches his village and tells all villagers to leave because he thought there was a high chance there Seiran family’s armed forces would come to his village in search of him and burn it down too after they were done.

that’s exactly what happens; after the villagers were gone, the armed forces arrive, ransack the village and burn it down.

the villagers of that village all disperse and settle in other villages. all signs of the existence of his village were gone; in an attempt to make sure that his village is never forgotten, he changes his last name to his village’s name so he could carry it forever with him.

[yep! the village’s name was Arenas! we have no knowledge of his grandmother’s name or his family name.].

[all this happened when Boschi was 20 by the way.]

now, we have a time skip of a few years to when Boschi is 28; he’s been living as a wanderer, travelling, staying in a place for a little, working as a bodyguard + other odd jobs before moving again.

this is because after Seiran family had taken over the territory of his family, they had not forgotten him; they were still searching for him to have him killed by assassins.

[random, but something I still want to add: Boschi reveals that during this time period he did do jobs, for money, that his grandmother would not have been proud of him for. it’s unknown what he was referring to.]

the fateful day: becoming a devil’s butler.

so now, we zoom in to a time where he’s living in the north, in mountains when a man approaches him.

the man seems to know a lot about him, his past and identity. upon Boschi telling the man that, he says that he keeps tabs on the lives of people who have gone through a lot of despair in their life.

Boschi reacts negatively and suspiciously. the man introduces himself as (you guessed it ✨) Berrien, a devil butler (yay, it’s Berrien!).

he tells Boschi that he wants him to join Berrien as a devil butler where they’ll fight angels, his past identity will be forgotten. since the Grobaner family have enough influence and power to protect him if Seiran family do manage to find out about his whereabouts.

Boschi agrees very quickly to this, despite Berrien warning him of the hardships that will come his way; Boschi still agrees, smiling for the first time in a while because after such a long time he’ll finally have a purpose and he has gotten exhausted of this life on the run + hiding.

Boschi joins around the time Fennesz and Haures did; they become good friends because they were the same age when they joined and were assigned to the same floor.

2-3 years later: Boschi loses his arm and right eye.

in an angel attack (where the attack was pretty strong and i think they may have been outnumbered?), Haures is caught off guard by an angel sneaking up on him.

Boschi, who was at his side, throws himself in front of him, taking the blow/attack for him. due to this, Boschi loses his right arm (below the elbow I believe) and his right eye (by that I mean, the eyeball is there but he can’t see through the eye.).

the reason he states for protecting Haures was that having Haures (harmed or killed, though he would have likely died had Boschi not jumped in) would be a great loss to them (devil butlers) and their strength since Haures was and is really strong + he’s responsible for training the other butlers as well.

[by the way, Boschi was and is right handed, so he lost his dominant arm.]

from what we know (through Fennesz, Berrien and Miyaji), he played it off in a nonchalant manner so everyone would not worry about him. but in actuality it was eating at him.

when he started wearing his prosthetic arm, he had difficulty performing everyday tasks like picking up a fork/utensil (his grip wasn’t steady so he would drop it) or sometimes his grip would be too strong so he’d end up breaking something. most importantly, though, he was having a lot of trouble using his sword with his prosthetic arm.

his blows were not as strong as they were and he’d also drop his sword in the middle of a fight as his grip would falter.

this made him train for hours and hours on end to get used to his prosthetic arm, brushing off the concern of the other butlers and pretending he was doing well after the accident, which he wasn’t (mentally and physically.).

now, we have know from the black rabbit event card story of Boschi, that in order to prove himself to everybody he worked really hard to get over the troubles he had with his arm and within a short time, he improved his command over his prosthetic arm.

(he did not take help from anyone, even getting really angry at Haures when he suggested Boschi leave the fighting to him since with the loss of his right arm and eye, Boschi would not be able to reach his full strength. Boschi became really angry at that instance because, as he stated, Haures did not get to decide what Boschi could or could not do; his limits were something only he could decide.

after that, Haures wouldn’t bother him too much during his excessive training sessions and instead Fennesz would check up on him.)

that’s what happened and later he reached the state he is now, where both him and Haures are at the same level of skill in swordsmanship.

now 300 years later, we have Boschi of the present! he hates his vegetables, loves his meat, cannot miss his afternoon naps and trips to the sauna. he has his arguments with Haures (where both verbally and sometimes in training, beat the hell out of each other.) and he also likes books too, which may initially seem contrary to his personality! we have one instance of him tearing up after reading a book recommended to him by Fennesz! (he then played off when you/MC asks him about it). anyhow, he’s very lovable!

Extra + my thoughts:

something I liked and noticed in the part where Boschi’s mother was taking him in her arms for the last time before he would be taken by his grandmother to the west:

Boschi was sleeping that time and she said that he really is a child that sleeps well. fast forward to now and Boschi is still known to sleep the best and most among the butlers 😭 taking his afternoon naps and going to bed early at night too.

[also, this is my personal thought but what if Boschi started relying on Ammon for taking care of his hair after he lost his arm? i doubt he doesn’t know how to take care of his hair since there was that 8 year time period where he was completely alone; he must’ve taken care of it himself. but after he lost his arm, he must’ve had a hard time brushing it and drying it. Ammon would have likely offered to take care of it to get in Boschi’s good books and with his persistence, Boschi must’ve yielded. so now, over 300 years later, Ammon still does his hair.]

[Lastly, this is a question I had, if anyone knows the answer to it; what happened to Boschi’s older half brother, the first son of the first wife? why was the second son of the first wife in charge and not the first son who was the first heir? could it be since the first son wasn’t mentioned later in the story, that he might have been killed sometime before Boschi came to the East? hence making the second son step for the position of the head of the family? East is prone to territorial feuds and wars so it wouldn’t be a surprise if he got killed in a battle or in an assassination attempt by the other families.]

Edit: I forgot to add this! so the whole Seiran family killing Boschi’s family and replacing them as the nobility of Sougetsu was not something that happened because of Boschi letting the first wife and her son go without executing them, though it may seem so initially.

Boschi explained that the Seiran family planned this when they let one of their noblewomen, the first wife, marry Boschi’s father. what they intended in the beginning was that the first wife’s son would become the head of the family and then (they’d either merge the family into one or take over the territory of Boschi’s family and make it theirs.).

however, they didn’t expect Boschi to appear as the heir and then become the head. that’s why they resorted to plan B, which was killing them off (since they weren’t huge in number) by entering the palace grounds through the secret pathway and using (the additional information provided by the first wife about the structure of the palace, how many guards are situated in each place, the possible weak spots etc) to their advantage. which is what happened in the end.

that’s all! i haven’t read too many of Boschi’s card stories (I’ve read 4, I’m planning on reading more) so that’s why I might have missed out on some info. if I learn anything new, I’ll mention it in this post (^^)!

I love all the butlers in aknk. that of course, includes Boschi, but my love for him sky-rocketed after reading chapter 4 + the black rabbit event story 💖✨!! I had Lato as my main butler on my homescreen the past month but after reading chapter 4, I had Boschi on my screen before i knew it 😭

if any information I’ve mentioned is incorrect in any way, please do let me know! there’s a lot of information so I can get something wrong if I’m not too careful.

anyhow, I hope you have a good day, anon 💞! I hope this is a good read and the flow of my writing is bare-able lol. and I hope knowing all of this makes you like Boschi more; he’s a very well written character (i am bonkers about him.)