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dr-futbol-blog · 2 months ago

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Epiphany, Pt. 18

We then move on to McKay and the others approaching the village, and while they are not running the way Sheppard had been running as he had made his way back from the cave the previous night, based on the fact that we can hear McKay being out of breath, they are keeping good pace. Given that we just watched Sheppard leave the village at a run back to them, the sequence of events here is interesting.

McKay: You know, I was just thinking: this entire field, I mean, not the field, I mean the field field, must generate its own day and night cycle, not to mention its own artificial climate. I mean, it's incredible! When you think... Dex: You wanna pick up the pace, McKay? McKay: Hey, he's waited for months. Another half hour isn't gonna kill him.

McKay mentions that keeping the walking pace that they have, it is going to take them half an hour to reach the village that it had taken 10 hours for Sheppard to have reached at a run. This suggest that they had indeed crossed the threshold the previous night and it is entirely possible that McKay patting the ground next to him for Weir to sit had happened just as Teer had told Sheppard to sit (and let us also note the similarity in the names, Weir and Teer -- pronounced Tier and rhyming with Weir -- that is probably not accidental; in fact, Teer = Teyla + Weir). If McKay's assessment of five minutes for the others to get in had been correct, they had started walking toward the village just as Teer kissed him, meaning that McKay was getting physically closer to Sheppard the further they were engaged in the sex. This also seems to indicate that McKay's "You know, I was just thinking" epiphany here about the artificial climate coincided with Sheppard's discussion on thunder storms over breakfast, which would mean that it had taken them c. 12-13 hours to make the same distance as had taken Sheppard 9,5-10 hours to run. This tracks.

What this means is that this is not the same place as where Avrid had first ran out of the woods to meet Sheppard, which had been "across the sanctuary" and hence closer to the cave, but that they have already crossed the sanctuary and are approaching the village. This is important for establishing that McKay's "You know, I was just thinking" was synchronous with Sheppard's "Haven't any of you seen thunderstorms?" of the previous scene. And that is curious, to say the least. The minimum of what is happening here is that Sheppard and McKay are, for umpteenth time, thinking the same thing at the same time like that keeps happening by sheer coincidence. McKay is saying "I mean, it's incredible!" just as Sheppard is saying "it's also very cool!" but because we see these things happen in sequence, we cannot appreciate the synchronicity.

It is also curious that as worried as McKay has been over Sheppard, earlier insisting Beckett come along because he does not know if Sheppard is seriously injured or even alive, he now seems entirely carefree to the point of being careless, like he is no longer concerned for Sheppard. Like he knows that Sheppard is alive and well and waiting for them where they are heading. And how could he possibly know that? That McKay does not care about him is not even an option. For some reason that is never explained, McKay seems to know. And he is feeling good, here. Like every step they take, he is feeling more at ease. And, just to re-iterate, they have bee walking for hours and he does not even seem to feel it.

Weir: We don't know how long it's gonna take to find him. Beckett: Aye, and besides that, I have a date planned with Lieutenant Cadman for tomorrow night. McKay: Oh, no, so we've only got twelve years in here! What? What is it? I'm not detecting anything. Dex: Doesn't mean it isn't there.

Ronon drops a lampshade on the viewers: just because you don't detect it does not mean it is not there. That something cannot be seen with the naked eye does not mean that it cannot have tangible effects. This being said, the t-shirt is both visible and tangible but it only has meaning in context.

But let us back-track a little. Beckett mentions that he has a date with Cadman, the first time that their budding romance from Duet (S02E04) is revisited. Later on, Beckett tells them that the affair had fizzled out and let us recall that it was only until Cadman was occupying McKay's body that she seemed to develop this interest in co-Ancient gene having Beckett. Regardless, it is clear that Beckett is here both on the field and has "got" a woman, both of which McKay had claimed that Beckett was jealous over for him during his enzyme-fueled possession in the previous episode. What is obvious here is that McKay is not jealous of Beckett for having gotten Cadman because Cadman is -- although blonde and beautiful -- among the last women that McKay would ever want, along with Heightmeyer, and that is curious given how he keeps claiming to be into hot blondes. He could care less about Cadman, and Beckett's luck with women is a peripheral concern for him when he is in control of his faculties and not trying to goad his best friend into scoring him some wraith dope. This also tracks. Also, we do not know if this is an on-going thing or this is their first date -- it might be McKay's words had even pushed Beckett into asking her out for all we know. What is interesting is that both of McKay's claims are revisited here, Beckett's dislike and not jealousy for being on the field and McKay's not getting (or wanting) all the women.

Second thing to note is that while McKay's "twelve years" here might well be hyperbole, his math just keeps not mathing. Sheppard has spent around six months inside the time dilation field which had been c. 17 hours of real time. Assuming that by "tomorrow night" Beckett was referring to a time that, given the 28-hour "day and night cycle" on Atlantis, would be 30-35 hours from when they went in (it was daylight on the planet they left from, which of course tells us next to nothing about what time it was currently on Atlantis, but it had also been daytime when McKay had been in his lab chiding Conan and Xena). With all of this, it would still only give them about a year inside the field until it was date time for Beckett meaning that McKay's assessment of how fast time is running is way off. And what it also tells us is that it feels like years to him since he has seen Sheppard. He can quip about another half hour not killing Sheppard all he wants but dissociating has made all of this feel a lot longer for him than it has been for the others, and he keeps approximating time to have been much longer. And also that he is just not not good at mental math, he kind of sucks at it, if we are perfectly honest.

This, now, as Teyla detects something in the woods also seems to be when Teer got the shining about the beast being upon them and when Sheppard started off at a run toward them, and that also tracks. McKay's dismissive comment toward Beckett's date coincides with Sheppard being dismissive toward Teer. In fact, it is possible Teyla detected it even before Teer. While McKay seems to respect Teyla's instinct, he also relies heavily on the scanner and hence he seems to have trouble reconciling the evidence from these two sources and this too may be symbolic. Ronon, on the other hand, trusts Teyla over a machine any day of the week.

Dex: Can you see anything? Teyla: No. But I sense something is close. Weir: Maybe we should try another way. Dex: Won't make any difference. It's stalking us. Beckett: Sounds like it's more than one. McKay: Yeah, more than one what? Teyla: I do not know.

And so the beast is "upon them," the Jabberwock has found them. And it is interesting that the beast comprising of the fears of the villagers has come for them because while each and every one of them feels fear, to be sure, they are also all of them much more in touch with their fears than the locals are. They can admit that they are afraid which allows them to conquer their fears, and it seems as though all of Sheppard's friends fight their fears almost on a daily basis, fight their fears like it's their job.

The three times that we have now "seen" the beast, it seems like Teer's fear of either not getting Sheppard or losing him to another has been at the heart of its manifestation, and let us be generous and make a claim that she fears losing Sheppard to all of them here, losing him to his friends that have come to get him home. It is not as though the beast is going for McKay specifically as we see him take hold of his weapon, the one that Sheppard has taught him how to use to protect himself, and prepare to protect not himself but also the weakest member of their rescue party, Weir. McKay is afraid but that has never stopped him from being brave because It's OK to be scared, it's part of life. That is something that Sheppard has learned from Rodney McKay.

They all fire on the invisible beast, and Ronon and Teyla attempt to take it head on while both McKay and Beckett close rank on Weir. The two of them are protecting the weakest link and also the leader of the expedition who may not be the most vital of them for the running of the mission (certainly all three of the are "vital, vital to this mission"), but is nonetheless really important. And this is precisely why McKay had wanted her to stay back. But she had insisted on coming for the reason we are able to see as Sheppard comes running out of the forest, throwing himself at the beast with not a hint of fear or hesitation.

And let us point out the fact that somehow Sheppard knew exactly where to find them, he ran directly to them having gotten no direction from Teer. He knew where they would be. The fact that he was drawn directly to them is rather interesting. Sheppard loves these people, all of them, every one of them in different ways and if his time in this prison has taught him anything, it is that he does not want to live without them. And so the beast vanishes and he finds himself face down on the ground just like most of his team, and Weir runs right to him again like she is the heroine of a romantic film rushing to her beloved that has been lost for so long -- when that is not at all what this is.

Note that McKay sees Sheppard first, looks at him first, and Weir and McKay start moving toward him at the same time. But McKay loses time putting down his scanner and so, as Weir gets to Sheppard first, McKay decides to put his gun away and then goes to help Teyla where Beckett had gone to help Ronon, because both of them might have been injured by getting hurled away by the beast. And Weir goes directly to Sheppard, puts her hand on him, on his shoulder, but then draws it back almost as quickly as she lays it on. It is, frankly, impossible to say if she even really makes contact. What is important is this: she is not the first person he looks at. He looks past her shoulder before seeing her.

Teyla told us "Something is close." Beckett said: "Sounds like it's more than one." Again we find the writers are speaking to the audience through the characters. Dex had asked "Can you see anything?" We are given the option of seeing the t-shirt or ignoring it. And what we cannot see here is him touching her. We see him throwing his shoulder back because he does not want to be touched by her. Weir had tried to touch him when he does not want to be touched and while we see women frequently override his boundaries, we have never seen McKay do that. McKay has never violated Sheppard's boundaries or done things to him he did not have his consent to do. That is the difference. We saw this already in Sanctuary (S01E14), and it is as true on this day as it had been then.

Continued in Pt. 19

#stargate atlantis #john sheppard #sga #sga meta #sheppard is bi #rodney mckay #rodney is gay #mcshep #ep. epiphany #ep. duet #ep. the hive #ep. sanctuary

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dr-futbol-blog · 22 days ago

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The Tower, Pt. 16

Next, we pop in to see how things are going with Sheppard and Beckett in their holding cell. Mara is coming to pay them a visit and as the guard opens the door, we see that something must have happened between Otho flouncing off and now, as the turntables seem to have turned again. It is Sheppard that we now find lounging on the couch that Tavius had been lying on previously, with Beckett seated on a high-backed chair near him while Tavius appears to be standing at the far end of the room where we had seen Sheppard checking up on the curtains previously. Both Sheppard and Beckett get up from their seats as Mara walks into the room, all three men seeming to stand at attention, cautious as to the meaning of this interlude.

Mara: Leave us!

Whether Tavius had chosen to remain standing and purposefully took up a position as far away from "these people" as possible or the sofa had been commandeered by Sheppard because he was simply fed up with this whole planet and all the people on it remains unclear. But because they are imprisoned, it does invite us to look at the dynamics in the context of prison where the "protective pairing," as formed by Sheppard and Beckett here, is a known condition under which imprisoned men often engage in to seek protection from the violence of the environment, and this may be done in exchange for services, sexual or otherwise. This is not to say that Beckett has taken up the position of "prison bitch" to Sheppard in order for both men to increase their sense of security against the threat of Tavius, only that the way they are now positioned within the cell does create a clear sense of masculine hierarchy within the environment.

It is also obvious that it is Sheppard who sits at the top of that hierarchy since the mere threat of violence is enough to control and dominate those in a subordinated social position, which is where Tavius has suddenly found himself in regardless of his royal blood line. The subordinate position of Tavius is emphasized by how prior to Mara walking in, Sheppard was resting his legs on the other, vacant chair instead of stretching out on the couch like Tavius himself had done earlier, meaning that where Beckett had been occupying one seat, Sheppard was occupying four seats for himself, leaving none for Tavius.

Sheppard seems to be playing some kind of a mind game here because of course he did leave a perfectly comfortable seat vacant next to him that Tavius could have sat down on if had he so chosen, naturally requiring him to take a seat very close to one of "these people". Given that Sheppard has probably been called one of "these people" before where he had not particularly enjoyed it, because he now finds himself in a position to take a stand for all the people that will never be in a position to take a stand for themselves, he is taking a stand. Make no mistake, Sheppard is doing this on purpose, to make a point. He is not feeling half as relaxed as he looks.

Mara: I'm really sorry, John. Tavius: Oh, please! Don't play the sweet little innocent here. Mara: I never meant for you to get hurt. Sheppard: Then help us get out of here! Mara: I can't, but I may be able to convince Otho to spare your lives.

Mara looks up at Sheppard with her big doe eyes and pleads him to forgive her, and although she is making every effort to come across as sincere, it is really difficult to pull of an act of that nature when observed by someone who seems to know her like the back of his hands, her own brother. Again we may note that while there is no love lost between brother and sister, it does not seem like Tavius actually wants Mara dead or that Mara wants her brother dead either. Although she makes it seem as though she has come here for Sheppard, Mara's actual motivation may well have been her concern for the people in the village, as that actually seemed to be her ultimate concern for having come in to Sheppard's room to seduce him the previous night -- in addition to securing her own safety and to make a play for power, which are also additionally motivating her here.

Whether or not Sheppard himself is actually buying what she is selling is a peripheral concern to how he seems to be playing her at least as hard as she is playing him, both of them having their own agendas in trying to get the other to do what they want. Currently, for Sheppard, his interest is in securing their freedom first and figuring out what had happened to McKay second (chronologically, not in order of importance). However, we may note that when Mara first walks in, Beckett is much quicker in getting up than Sheppard and that Sheppard's attention seems to be mostly on the guards. It is the guards that pose a threat to them and hence hold most of his interest here, and Mara herself, while she definitely presents a change, is but a curiosity. Sure, he may want to know why she has come but his attention is commanded by the men capable of hurting himself and Beckett. It is only when the guards leave that he switches his attention from them to her, and he seems to use her line about never having meant to hurt him, hamming it up to make it seem like he had really been hurt, too, so the least she can do is to help them get out.

Whether it is based on her experience or she is merely confident in her skills in seduction, Mara seems to think that she will be able to sway Otho, to make him reconsider the drastic measures he has been compelled to take in securing his rule. It is unclear whether she means to include Tavius in this attempt at convincing him to spare their lives but the fact is that both Tavius and Sheppard -- albeit the latter perhaps to lesser degree -- present the greatest threat to Otho's newfound power. Whether her confidence in actually pulling this off is based in reality or not is never demonstrated.

Perhaps what it shows us above all is that she is experienced in using the art of seduction and manipulation, forms of soft power often employed by royal women out of necessity but which curiously, and we see this well in how they are both competing in outplaying the other here, are also skills that Sheppard is practiced in. It is much less common for men, especially big, strong and skilled military men clearly practiced in various arts of violence, and also in possession of not insignificant amounts of purely institutional power as Sheppard is, to engage in the use of forms of soft power, and this may be another window into both Sheppard's non-standard sexuality and his history of victimization by women in positions of power -- of which Mara herself is but another example. There are a lot of undercurrents to their interactions. Right here, right now, both of their positions are precarious and both are trying to use the other to their own ends.

Sheppard: That would be a good start! Mara: In the meantime, I did bring you this. You must tell your friends to leave before it's too late. For his first act as Lord Protector, Otho intends to destroy the entire village using the Throne Chair so that no other villagers will ever rise up against him again.

Sheppard sounds intense as he tells Mara that imploring her husband-to-be to spare their lives would be a good start, it would go a long way into making him not hurt, but although his tone is urging her on as a means of manipulation, some of it also is just pure urgency. Not only has it been a while or two longer since Sheppard has heard from McKay than he likes, Otho had made threats to his people. And just having to sit on his ass without any way of finding out where they (he) is and what has happened to them (him) is killing him. And this is when, although she is doing it for her own reasons and her own agenda, Mara brings him a gift -- one of the best gifts he has ever received. Note that just as soon as Sheppard notices that she is bearing the radio, he yanks it out of her hand, and none too gently at that. This is the next best thing to breaking them loose. Sheppard wastes no time trying to contact McKay, and we may note that he naturally goes for McKay first. Not for the open channel, he does not try to contact his team or just anyone hearing him, but specifically McKay. It confirms that McKay is his top priority, his greatest concern.

The fact that Mara brings him the radio now also raises the question of whether it had indeed been his radio that Sheppard had been looking for the previous night when Mara had come into his room. Having someone remove his radio during the evening meal when he had left his tac vest to his room, just because sitting down to dinner dressed like a soldier probably struck him as bad manners, seems like the kind of intrigue that might have taken place in this Tower. He had been talking to his ear piece in front of the guards openly before the court had filed in, and it seems like at some point someone at the Tower had figured out what a radio even is and that he was able to communicate with his people over a distance. It is entirely possible it had been Otho that had removed his capacity to communicate with the others from him both times, but the fact that it is Mara bringing it to him now connects this scene to the one that took place the previous night.

Sheppard: Rodney, come in. McKay: Sheppard, are you alright? Sheppard: I'm fine. Listen, I need you to pull the ZPM and cut the power right away or Ronon and Teyla are dead. McKay: I already know all that. Look, unfortunately I am cut off from the ZPM. Sheppard: There's gotta be something you can do. McKay: Yeah, I'm working on it! Sheppard: Well, work faster!

So, let us just note that Sheppard's urgent tone here, although he explicitly mentions Ronon and Teyla, is not about them. The way he snatched the radio from Mara, he was feeling this urgency before Mara had even mentioned that they were in imminent danger. The radio crackles as Sheppard hails McKay, and we see McKay stepping into the auxiliary power room when he hears Sheppard's voice, as though better to hear him. Not only had he been told by Teyla that Sheppard was incommunicado, it had been too long since they had been in contact.

An important thing to note here is this: McKay asks Sheppard how he is, whether he is alright. This ties in both with the end of The Hive (S02E11), where Sheppard had seemed offended when McKay had approached him with "How are you alive?" instead of telling him he was glad for this state of affairs, and to the previous episode where Sheppard had asked about Griffin instead of asking whether McKay himself was alright. Just like we noted earlier when McKay was going off on Teyla, it hurts him when he is made to feel like an instrument, like who he is does not matter but only what he can do for them. It offended him that Teyla made it seem like she only cared about the ZPM and had no concern for his well-being, so he asks about Sheppard. McKay is not a considerate man but he is a man who cares about Sheppard and is concerned for him, and so he makes sure to ask. It is important that he asks. He would not even think to ask anyone else this.

However, Sheppard's first question after getting hold of him is about the ZPM. McKay had told Teyla "Your beloved friend has nearly died and while he has had to face the imminent threat of death, your first concern is for the ZPM?," and that is literally what Sheppard does here. It is not because the ZPM is his first concern -- it is not even in the top 10 of his concerns at the moment -- but McKay answering his hail with a tone that tells him he is alive and well has taken care of like the first nine of his concerns, and his final concern is for Teyla and Ronon down in the village. But we may note here the difference: even though Sheppard actually does the thing McKay had explicitly accused Teyla of doing, McKay does not go off on him, McKay does not take it out on him. His outburst to Teyla was all about Sheppard and now that he has it out of his system, he does not have to lash out at the man that he loves. This is precisely why he keeps taking it all out on other people instead.

It is again notable that where McKay tells Sheppard to look, Sheppard tells McKay to listen. And this is important, especially as regards the aftermath of the previous episode and as we move from this episode to the one in which an old married couple are caught in a vicious circle of bitter resentment trying to kill each other. Where McKay may "never listen to people" like Carter had pointed out, and it might be because he does not feel heard that Sheppard feels the need to emphasize it, it is not McKay alone that is at fault for their failure to communicate. As pointed out by Teyla in Sateda (S04E03), Sheppard is not good at, which is to say that he is "terrible at expressing… I don't know what you'd call it -- feelings." They both have awful social skills, they are both bad with people, and this is ironic given how easily they seem to be able to read each other's thoughts. But that is just it, being able to read someone's thoughts does not make it any easier to understand their feelings, let alone to understand their own feelings. They are both at fault for their failure to communicate.

So, the thing to reiterate is that McKay is Sheppard's top priority. McKay and his safety are the things he cares about above all else. But the way Sheppard contacts him now, McKay would have no way to even guess at this being case. What Sheppard tells him is that he does not have time to talk about his feelings right now, he needs McKay to do something for him as his tech monkey so that he can rescue his team down in the village, managing even to make it sound like the part of his team that he actually cares about is down there in the village and not where ever McKay is -- Sheppard does not even ask about him, so he must not care. And when he tells Sheppard that he would love to comply but he is unable, Sheppard tells him to pull something out of his ass on the spot and even as he tells him that he is already trying to satisfy Sheppard's wish, the man tells him to do it faster.

The way Sheppard is communicating to McKay is like right out of his nightmare. This is what he fears Sheppard thinks of him. He is afraid that this is all that he is to Sheppard, that he has no worth beyond what he can do for him. This is how people have been treating him his whole life, and Sheppard is just demonstrating to him that everything he thinks about himself is true. If he was not a genius capable of pulling eleventh hour miracles out of his ass, Sheppard would not care if he lived or died.

And McKay has no way of knowing what Sheppard actually thinks, how he feels. He did not see how fast Sheppard grabbed the radio to contact him, how he did not even try to hail the members of his team who may be about to die down in the village. McKay does not know how hard Sheppard has been working all day to get down to him, how just moments ago he was manipulating what he thinks is a sweet, innocent and naive girl to bust them loose at a risk to her own life just so he could get her to guide them through the filthy catacombs to the one person he would burn this entire planet for. The urgency in Sheppard's tone is not about Teyla and Ronon or the villagers, it is about McKay himself and McKay is incapable of hearing it.

In fact, Mara had given him the radio telling him to get in touch with his people in the village to tell them to get out, hence saving them. This exchange actually parallels their earlier scene in which Sheppard had contacted them in the village and Teyla was the one to ask him if he was alright. He answered Teyla similarly, "I'm fine," but his question to them had not been whether they were alright but "Is McKay with you?" Sheppard's first priority had been McKay then, and it was McKay now (and always), but by answering his hail McKay himself had given him the answer to the first unspoken question of his heart: is McKay safe?

Mara had given him the radio with the express purpose of contacting his people in the village but that is not what he does, and instead he contacted McKay. But he still names Teyla and Ronon as the people that McKay is meant to save by working faster, not the villagers who would be unable to escape. You could argue that Sheppard was motivated by saving Teyla and Ronon if Mara had not just given him the keys to do that and he chose to contact McKay anyway. And not only that, but Sheppard chooses to stay in radio contact with McKay while he works instead of doing anything to warn Teyla and Ronon. Sure, he may be trusting that McKay can save the day because he has faith in his abilities in spite of what McKay may think, but that does not necessitate him hanging on the call in favour of not contacting the rest of the team down in the village, to give them a simple heads up. But now that he has this lifeline to McKay, he does not seem willing to give it up. And yet it is really not McKay's fault that the is unable to hear what Sheppard is not saying to him. The man who is whispering and shouting to him at the same time is, however inadvertently, sending McKay mixed messages here.

Continued in Pt. 17

#stargate atlantis #sga #john sheppard #sga meta #rodney mckay #rodney is gay #mcshep #sheppard is bi #ep. the tower #ep. the hive #ep. sateda

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