#hes not batman hes the batmobile

[littleeyesofpallas]

[batcavescolony]

*1940s Bat-Man gets switched with Modern Batman*

Robin: and now we call the poli-

Bat-Man: *picks up a gun and fires it into the air* that'll get their attention

Robin: ...

______________

Red Robin: their's someone new in town we should-

Bat-Man: threaten him with a bat in the mail and a note

Red Robin: ...

Nightwing: I forgot he used to do that.

______________

Bat-Man: why is the car black?

Red Hood: the Batmobile? what color would it be?

Bat-Man: red

Red hood: ...

______________

Bruce: this 'Alfred' fellow is really nice, it's just Dick, my Fiancée Julie and I in my time. But she doesn't know I'm Bat-Man-

All: WHAT!

Bruce: yes my fiancée-

Jason: WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO ALFRED?

Bruce: oh yeah, I have no idea who that man is.

[oifaaa]

People will try to convince you Jason Todd is the impulsive doesn't think before he acts type of guy and its funny bc Jason is almost comedic in how fucking long it actually takes this boy to plan out anything

[ironpool99]

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

A Catfish??

All of the bat children are horrified when they found out the boy Damian has been talking online, someone they were expecting to be a 5’3 twig. Someone who Damian has been crushing on for years turned out to be a 6’3 muscle-bound fucker that makes Jason look small.

They are even more horrified when they realized they never gave Damian the internet talk and for some reason Bruce is not reacting like this is something of concern and what the fuck-?!

The reason Bruce is not freaking out like the rest of his kids is quite simple.

He can see the last of the baby fat clinging to Danny’s face, he notices how even though Danny is a walking tank of a being, he still glances at the doorways like they could not be trusted.

Like he wasn’t used to his height.

No Bruce is not concerned, because all signs and research just points to one fact.

Danny Fenton has came into a Fenton-sized growth spurt.

[actuallyredrobin]

*leans on batmobile seductively* i embezzled this bad boy.

[mechanicalemotions]

"all ships need to be healthy and sane" folks when i tell them i want batman and joker to fuck nasty in the arkham parking lot.

[bruciemilf]

Bitches be like " can't wait for Bruce to die lmao" and then have 10 consecutive panic attacks when Bruce gets sick for longer than a week (Jason Todd, Jason Todd is bitches)

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Damian falls out of time and straight into the street-kid-Jason-Todd era.

Jason isn’t sure what’s up with the weird kid following him around these days but the guy just saved him from some real nasty men so he ain’t complainin’. Now, where do they find enough food to last them the winter…

[motleyfam]

If Jason’s learned anything living on the streets, it’s that if something seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Like that time he found an entire queen-size mattress in a dumpster outside of the apartment building he and his mom were squatting in and dragged it home, only to discover that it was crawling with lice. Or the time when he agreed to watch some drug dealer’s car overnight for twenty bucks and ended up smack dab in the middle of some kind of gang war. Or the time when he came across a nearly full take-out container of still-warm shrimp alfredo sitting abandoned on a park bench, then spent the next 48 hours becoming extremely well-acquainted with every public bathroom in a half-mile radius.

Anyway, by the time Jason stumbles across a shiny black speedster abandoned in one of Park Row’s many sketchy alleyways, chrome rims gleaming in the moonlight, you’d think he’d have the sense to know too-good-to-be-true when he sees it.

Fuck it. He’s always been an optimist.

[martyrbat]

detective comics #396

[ID: Batman laying on his back in a tantalizing pose—one of his knees bent and on the white ground as the other leg's foot is planted on the ground. He has both his arms bent at the elbow, one going down and the other hand near his ear. His costume is battered and torn, revealing titillating strips of flesh on his thighs and chest. His head is turnt and his mouth is opened in a cry as someone unseen is throwing green dollar bills on him. END ID]

[dailyloweffortpace]

Day 15: snnoork mimimimimi

(idea by @vaaters ty for that :3)

[violent138]

While Clark doesn't like cars or use them much, he knows a lot about engines and mechanics from growing up on a farm and occasionally warns Bruce about technical problems he can see or hear in the Batmobile. They definitely bond over these shared interests as Clark is pretty knowledgeable about most things because he has an immediate grasp about how they work and are built. Bruce is fascinated enough to have the same grasp of things and problem-solves intuitively enough that it probably feels like they share the same way of perceiving the world.

[ahfrickenfrick]

dick: *after getting his first car with his own money*

dick: …the dark knight wishes he had a pathfinder

[setare7x]

a normal person having a teenage rebellion: going out at night, getting a piercing or a tattoo

tim drake in his teenage rebellion era: hiding a batmobile in the batarang budget and shipping it to san francisco to learn to drive in it with his friends

[bepoucorp]

"But not all hurricanes are bad."