#of putting a car bomb under the batmobile

[oifaaa]

People will try to convince you Jason Todd is the impulsive doesn't think before he acts type of guy and its funny bc Jason is almost comedic in how fucking long it actually takes this boy to plan out anything

[silly-thinkings]

AGFC pt.5

A/n: Last chapter for now. I'm happy with this kind of conclusion. I've been feeling a bit down lately with my writing. like... insecure about it. I have all these W.I.Ps and Ideas but I don't think I got that oomph that I had when I started this blog ya know. If Im going to continue this series then it'll probably follow Young Justice season 3. Maybe Y/n will make an appearance in season 2 with Kaldure ya know. Anyway! Enjoy, let me know what you think :) Stay hydrated! Drink water plz

Y/n knew Jason was dead. It didn’t matter how fast her father was on his batmobile. She did the math, he won’t get there in time. Y/n sat in an isolated room, no different from the one Clark had put her in all those years ago. Except this time she was in the bat cave. She scratched at her inhibitor collar as she reflected on all the memories that Megan had stolen from her. No wonder Lex was after her, she was talented. Her fighting style was unmatched. With the right pressure points her opponent can lose control of their arm. A simple tap on a nerve and they’re out of the fight. Suddenly the door opened revealing Alfred holding on to a tray of cookies. A dry laugh escaped the girl before she turned her body to face away from the butler. 

“Lady Y/n-”

“Bruce will be mad at you if you’re here. He might disown you Alfie.”

Alfred closed his eyes. It pained him to see her like this. He placed the tray down and took a seat behind her. She felt his presence, but more importantly she felt a slight draft coming into her cell. 

“I’ll speak to Bruce about this. Y/n understand that you are an amazing girl. Capable of so much good in the world.”

Now y/n felt tears swell her eyes “I’m a weapon Alfred. Do you think someone dressed like this saves people? Ha! And what of that Martian girl. She gets a slap on the wrist for messing with our memories.”

Alfred was about to say something but The sound of Tim’s voice echoed in the cave. 

“Bruce said not to talk to her till he got back.”

That finally set her off. Y/n closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She was going to save Jason. Then she’ll run away. Forget this family. Forget everyone! 

Y/n quickly stood and Jammed two fingers along Alfred’s shoulders stunning the man. She then applied pressure to other parts of his back and arms successfully subduing him. Alfred fell to the floor as numbness seeped throughout his body. he looked back in shock as Y/n grabbed a cookie that had fallen and fled the cell. But she wasn’t in the clear yet. She needed to get the inhibitor color off. Tim took a stance infront of where the key cards were held.

“You’re not getting pass me Y/n”

Tim didn’t expect her to move so fast. He was able to block and evade some of her moves but as soon as she applied pressure on his calves he fell over. 

“Pressure points works wonders when your facing an opponent bigger than you Timmy.” Y/n successfully knocked the teen out. She reached for the keycard and removed the collor. In an instant her powers returned. 

“Don’t miss y/n please.”

Y/n flew to the door, looking down at the only man who showed up to all her events. Who fed her, to took care of her with all his heart. “I’m sorry Alfred. Goodbye.”

***

Y/n couldn’t believe she actually made it. Her flight was slow but by pushing her feet against the air using her strength she was able to speed as fast as she ever could. It created a popping sound with every step, greatly satisfying her.  Y/n broke into the safe house. Jason layed limp on the floor, y/n heard the sound of ticking. She frantically looked for the bomb. 

“N-no time” Jason gasped for air, he didn’t know who was there to save him but he’s sure glad they’re here.

Y/n seemingly ignored his cry and continued searching. She was good at disarming bombes. Y/n confidently pulled out the bomb and clipped the right wire successfully stopping the threat. The girl laughed, she did it. She saved her brother. Y/n flew to Jason and grabbed under his arms. “Sorry Jay. I don’t know how to carry you properly. But I disarmed the bomb so we’re good.”

Y/n felt Jason’s body relax slightly as she dragged him out the door. It was then that she heard another beeping sound. Then another. Panicked she followed them to the walls of the shed. There were more. Was the bomb a trap? 

Tick

Tok

Tik tik tok tik

“Y/n? What’s wrong.” Jason attempted to sit up but his broken bones sent pain throughout his body.”

“No. This wasn’t suppose to happen I. There’s more bombs. I can’t disarm them all. I… what.”

Y/n felt dizzy as the flush of sounds overwhelmed her again. Seemingly from every angle in the world. Jason crawled towards his younger sister. He accepted his fate but she gave him hope. Here he was thinking he was a failure. The motion happened so quick y/n cradled herself into a ball again pressing her ears together. She felt Jason enveloping her in a hug. “I got ya kid.”

*Boom*

~~~

~~

~

Y/n fluttered her eyes open. Snow fell from the sky. A mixture of white with black soot fell atop her nose.

Thump-thump

She heard the sound of a drum. When she tried to get up she noticed an arm over her.

Thump…. Thump.

No. It wasn’t a drum it was a heartbeat. Y/n frantically got to her knees to look down at her Brother. His mask and costume ripped. She herself felt pain along the side on her body. But no injury could amount to what she was facing.

“No… no no Jason no hang on. I’ll get help. I’ll find dad. I- I can still-“

Thump

Thump

“You- so cool-“ Jason attempted to smile. There was nothing she could do. It pained him to leave her like this. Y/n placed both of her hands on her face. Then to his chest. She can hear every pop and crackle from his broken bones. 

Thump 

…..

“Jay…. Speak to me. Please.” 

Y/n didn’t scream. She was tired of that. Jason probably wouldn’t want that. She hugged her brother as the sobs grew louder. This wasn’t suppose to happen. She was suppose to prove to everyone that she was capable of being a hero. How could she explain this to Bruce? What would Connor think?

“What have you done?”

The dark knights deep voice made y/n freeze. She looked up, she felt tiny when looking at her armored father “He… protected me. I tried to save him I… I tried to-“

“What you did is got him KILLED Y/n!”

Y/n flinched. He never raised his voice like this.

Bruce realized his mistake. He walked towards them but Y/n frantically shuffled back. Just like she did Clark. 

“You think I killed him? Ha…hahaha” 

0 hours till Y/n Wayne Broke.

Y/n pressed her hands over her eyes “where were you! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN WE NEED YOU.” She looked up to see Bruce walking away with Jason. Not looking back at her at all “You never show up. And when you do YOUR LATE.” 

Bruce turned to see y/n roll frantically on the grounds. Her laughter and pained screams haunted him.

“We’re just your solders. That’s why Dick left.” Y/n felt a different kind of pressure well up in her eyes. She looked to the sky and saw red. 

Bruce watched as y/n shot lasers out of her eyes. He closed his eyes 

“I’m sorry” he whispered. Bruce left with Jason, his priorities shifting.

Y/n heard him but she didn’t care. For a being who hears everything, that comment fell on deaf ears. For the first time she was alone. Was she free? She didn’t know. Y/n closed her eyes. She rose from the ground like a ghost and flew to the only person who’d maybe treat her fine. 

***

Lex finished his nightly skin care routine. Feeling refreshed and ready for the day. What he didn’t expect was to find Y/n floating behind him. He let out a squeal before realizing it was the clone. Her eyes shut. Outfit ripped and burned. Blood dripping from her side as impailed glass seemingly pulsaded from her.

“You said I was a weapon they feared.” She said in a low tone. 

She was broken. Lex smiled, he didn’t think it would work that fast. What must’ve happened to have this girl seek comfort from him of all people. Lex opened his arm. 

“Come child. Together we can show them.” 

Y/n slowly flew into his arms. No tears left to shed. Drifting off to sleep. 

Epilogue 

Bruce returned to the cave with Jason in his arms. His shoulders felt heavy, he’d failed his children like never before. Alfred quickly ran to his side but no words were exchanged. Bruce looked up at the butler, the pain in his eyes was severe. 

The sound of the zeta tube chimed. Connor practically ran through with Tim close behind. 

“I tried to stop him but-“

Both boys saw Jason. Connor noticed the lack of his sister. 

“Where is she? What happened?”

Tim began shaking his head as he fell to the ground. Impossible she’s half Kryptonian. Alfred frowned aswell. 

Connor clenched his fists “BRUCE! Where is my sister.” He too had time to reflect on his stolen memories, and he felt stupid. How didn’t he know she did something to them. 

“I’m sorry… she’s gone.” 

Alfred covered his mouth. Guilt began to sink in. 

“N-no… no.” Connor fell to his knees. 

On that day, Two members of the bat family were declared dead.

[breyito]

Raze your past, forge your future

TITLE: Raze your past, forge your future AUTHOR/ARTIST: @breyito (read also on AO3) SUMMARY: When Jason first got back to Gotham and put that bomb under the Batmobile, he didn't change his mind. WORD COUNT: 1,151 FANDOM: Batman - All Media Types | Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010) | Red Hood: Lost Days | Batman (Comics) RELATIONSHIPS: Talia al Ghul & Jason Todd & Damian | WayneJason Todd & Bruce Wayne TRIGGERS/WARNINGS: Jason Todd-centric, Jason Todd Deserves Better, BAMF Jason Todd, Dead Joker RATING: Teen and up ADDITIONAL NOTES: Hello again! LONG time no see lmao New series, huge love for my favorite character lol Today I'm in a much better mood than usual, so you get some humor, some vengance and some fluff! (It's been such a long time since I've written fluff omg) Enjoy!

When Jason first got back to Gotham and put that bomb under the Batmobile, he came this close to changing his mind, to let all the effort he spent crawling under the chassis of that monster of a car go to waste. His fingers clenched and his fists shook and he almost threw the remote far away from him the minute he saw Batman emerging from the shadows. But, in the end, he didn't. And he thanked his lucky stars he hadn’t smashed that control to bits the moment he decided Bruce wasn’t dying tonight. 

Now, that was mainly because Joker was out of Arkham (again) and Batman and his new Robin were on the case (again). The new Dynamic Duo had just arrested him and locked him in the cage in the back of the car and...well, Jason was only human, but he recognized the signs of a heaven sent gift. He saw the perfect opportunity and took it. How could he possibly refuse this? Not only would the bomb get rid of that pest , it would also scare the cuckoo birdie to high heaven and it would drive Batman crazy . He would obsess over the bomb and how it bypassed his security, how he didn't notice anything amiss, how vulnerable his system was, how it could have ended his and his little cuckoo’s lives…but mostly, he would wonder, forever (or until Jason revealed himself) , who had done it.

He needed to create a quick distraction on their way out of the city. Jason knew the route they would take like the palm of his hand, so it wasn’t difficult to steal a bike and surpass them, to gather supplies. His info on the comings and goings of the city might not be up to par with the Bats, but he had done his homework and read up about it on his way here. And he knew exactly which happy trigger thugs were gonna help him kill the clown.

A couple of quick blown up Molotov cocktails in between those gang territories and the goons were going at it with gusto. Batman, being the meddling nosy bastard he is, had to leave the car to minimize loss of life. But he also left cuckoo-Robin behind. So Jason needed to up his game. He did this by throwing a Molotov filled with sand and dish soap directly at the Bat, so that it clung to whatever material the new uniforms were made of. 

Of course, Robin immediately jumped to his aid. The only reason he didn't barbecue the cuckoo bird too was that he wanted all the attention to be on the clown's death, and nothing else, the cuckoo-Robin was just so lucky tonight. . 

“One way ticket to Hell, coming right up.” As soon as the kid was out of range Jason activated the bomb. “Rest in pieces but never in peace.”

The Batmobile went flying sky high and the charred clown's body was expelled from the windows (as in, from several windows because the corpse was in several parts) to complete and utter silence. The whole city went deadly quiet for a whole minute. He could practically feel the disbelief everyone exuded when that fuckers head (green hair unmistakable) went thud-thud-roll until it stopped at Batman’s left boot. Not even in his dreams the outcome could have been better, it was like it had been rehearsed or some shit. 

Jason had to stay very still and very silent, swallowing up his laughter at the two heros’ faces. Then the ambulances came and the chaos re-started. Jason bolted from the apartment window he had been waiting on and onto his bike and lost himself in the crowd trying to flee the scene as to not be next (ah, gotta love the old Gotham’s instinct to go to ground and mind your own business when the Bat was on the scene and causing explosions) to one of his safe houses.

He had had four he was sure no one knew about, having set them up as an exercise in stealth and backup plans, and this was the nearest and most complete one. He plugged the ancient computer there and linked it to several proxy servers to make sure it couldn’t be traced back to this address (at least not that quickly). Reaching into his jacket, pulled several credit cards he had ‘liberated’ from assholes since he had landed in Gotham (it was instinct, alright? It’s not like any of them will actually miss the money that much) and he bought half a dozen suspicious plane tickets to several destinations for that night. Still, he cleaned up every trace of Bat related stuff in the apartment, leaving it looking like a normal space instead of a husk, just in case. By then, it was already mid morning, so he left for another one of his safe houses. He hunkered down there and sneaked his way out of Gotham into Bludhaven three days later. From there he took a train to New York, mingling with a bunch of college students. From New York he flew to England, on the periphery of a similar-looking family.  Once in England he slept for almost a day and then took another plane to Nepal and then, finally , managed to get to Nanda Parbat. And to Talia. 

Much to his surprise, he had managed to impress her. Ra's too, although the old goat wouldn’t admit it (still, Jason could feel the assessing looks the man threw his way; it always made the hair on his neck stand up). As a reward for killing Batman's ‘greatest enemy’ right under his nose and getting away with it, he got to choose his training and teachers within the League of Shadows and outside of it. 

But best of all, he got introduced to Damian and became an older brother. His murder tour went way better with a little brother to impress. He took more breaks to be able to play with his baby brother and teach him some things here and there.  Damian was an entitled little shit, but had a soft soul that he showed only to those he loved (and to animals, he just loved animals) and Jason quickly became one of those. He cherished the time spent with his new little family, and after every monstrous teacher he got rid of, he could rest and recover with them. 

Without the menacing shadow of his murderer closing in on him and the knowledge that even without his father’s love he still has worth, his time in the All-Caste was much more healing. His favorite memory turns out to be the first time he woke up from a nightmare in the middle of the night to Talia singing a lullaby in Arabic and Damian on his chest, hugging him with his stuffed lion in the middle.

Life was good.

END NOTES: (Turns out *not* having your murderer roam free can do wonders for your sleep and self-esteem. Even if you had to get rid of it yourself.) (He gets re-introduced to them as Damian’s brother and Constantine's student, when some magical emergency occurs and Damian is the only one in the family with a contact he can reach immediately. Damian, who had thought his introduction to the Wayne family at the hands of his brother had made things very clear -even if Jason had been wearing full tactical gear at the time, it was so obvious- in the ‘Jason is alive’ front gets a blast out of their reactions. Jason is less amused by the tears and all the holes poked into him; but gets over it when he gets to save the Dick, the Cuckoo and the Bat using his magic and his All-Blades. He basks in the knowledge that Bruce’s disdain for magic is also bullshit and he got to *prove it* to him.) (The bomb case goes unsolved for years. Jason never brought it up cause he thought they had put 2+2 together when they got the dates of his resurrection and his methods became a *discussion*; but the truth is it didn't even occur to them. It’s hilarious in a sad sort of way and Jason feels the title of ‘greatest detective’ should be revoked, honestly.)

Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it!

[burritowitch]

It’s so funny when y’all talk abt comics bc it’s so obvious you have never read them. Jason would def lose to cass, but he has beaten her before and they are far more closely matched than you’re making it out to be. Beyond the fact that cass’s skills lie in immediate fighting, she’s not a planner, while Jason is. And Jason has been able to work around her detection abilities on multiple occasions.

Well. Well. Lets touch on this, shall we?

Your first point, that I've clearly never read comic books. While I may have been more into fanon when I first joined the fandom, I've never not read comics. Reading death in the family is what got me interested in the universe and led to me reading more and more and posting about DC. I do not claim anything I posted before like. Last January. I would like to cite the amount of posts I've made directly about comics I've read, often with panels. Ive spent well over $500 on comic books over the past year and a half and they're basically all I read nowadays. While most of my personal collection of physical books is post reboot because thats what's typically in store, I do mostly read post crisis books through online resources like readcomicsonline. li, notably including the entirety of no mans land (cass's debut) and her entire solo, batgirl 2000 (i own five issues of this), and utrh (i have the collected edition iirc?), jason's debut as red hood.

I see where you're coming from saying Jason is a planner, he sure did make a plan. That was an extremely convoluted plan that I will remind you: did not work. jasons plan to get bruce to kill the joker failed, quite famously. Jason's plans are insane because Jason as Red Hood was meant to be another insane rogue when he was first reintroduced. And typically, an extremely extra plan isn't going to help you if your opponent can figure out your next move before you can during the actual fight. I am discussing a hand to hand fight by the way, likely close quarters. If he did his whole putting a car bomb under the batmobile thing with her motorcycle, he probably would win. if he had the guts to detonate it, that is (which he didnt do with the batmobile bomb). In an actual fight? he loses.

If you can send me another ask with specific issue numbers of jason beating Cass, I may be inclined to take back what I said. However, in regard to a situation exactly like this, there is a quote from Cass's creator Kelly Pucket.

If you do have any specific issues, though, I will go and read them and reconsider.

The post you're referring to was one I made about a friend of mines poll about who would win in a fight between the batfam, it was mostly meant to be an in joke between me and my mutuals, and it definitely is stretching the comics canon. I do agree, I did exaggerate the difference between their fighting levels. Jason is an incredible fighter, but I do not believe he would be able to beat Cass in a fair fight. Even if he had a gun, she has on panel survived and walked off a point blank shot to the head in an issue of batgirl 2000 (i dont remember which issue exactly, but I do remember it was one with tim drake in it. most likely around halfway through).

If it was in reboot or current canon that Jason beat Cass, I'd like to remind you that Harley Quinn has also beat Cass, and she is definitely nowhere near the skill level needed to do so. Any comics you cite, however, I will read through and reconsider my answers with these in mind.

I'm not trying to say I'm a comic expert, I know I'm not. I've only been reading comics for about a year and a half now, and I definitely haven't read everything. But I do believe I've read enough Batman to say this much.

[avayarising]

Oh Jason is very clearly lying to himself throughout this series, which is at least a big part of why he’s being so vehement. Yes he absolutely did lose his nerve over murdering Bruce with the bomb under the Batmobile – he couldn’t bring himself to press the trigger – but he doesn’t want to admit that, so he persuades himself he wants to do it face to face so Bruce would ‘know it was him’.

Similarly, later on he gets hold of the Joker, but discovers he can’t kill him because trauma (the panels are pretty damn clear on that), and he doesn’t want to face that, so he makes up this story for himself that he wants to force Batman to do it instead. And then he has to double down on that and refuses to reconsider, because that means thinking about things he doesn’t want to think about.

And interestingly, Talia believes all these justifications he’s spouting to her, and she believes everything Ra’s tells her about the Pit, too. She’s all ‘Oh, I have created a monster, I’ve filled him with Pit Madness and now he’s insane, there’s nothing I can do except… train him to be lethal (because that makes so much sense)’, when it’s blatantly obvious that what the poor kid actually needs is some peace and downtime away from violence and bad guys, some good books to read, and someone to talk to who won’t just agree with all his justifications.

(Does Talia just have no critical thinking skills?)

And yes, that works for Dick. He’s hired a car and he’s on a road trip between towns, and he’s stopped for a break/meal in this small town – or maybe he’s just driving through, not even stopping – and he sees this teenage kid getting a bag put over his head and being shoved in a car. He doesn’t even see him clearly enough to clock him as Jason, but of course it sets off all sorts of alarm bells.

Maybe he should follow discreetly, but in a hired car on a snowy country road he doesn’t know? He’s better of going into the building they just came out of and trying to bluff/charm information out of people.

Dick pulls at the string and a whole trafficking case drops into his lap, but where’s the teenage kid?

Prompt:

Dick Grayson is put on mandatory vacation by a concerned BPD and finds a plane ticket booked to Germany in his mail the next day.

(“I am concerned for you, master Richard,” Alfred says when he calls to tell him Bruce can shove his charity right up his- “please do indulge this old man and allow yourself a break?” He doesn’t deserve a break. He needs to keep working or he’s going to come apart at the seams just like Bruce and- “… okay, Alf. Okay.”)

And… it’s nice, Dick will admit. No looking over his shoulder every two seconds, no fear of missed calls, no vigilantes.

Only an idyllic landscape, the hustle and bustle of foreign cities, Jason-

Wait, JASON?

[phis-corner]

demon’s daughter

Uh- this is my first time attempting a multi-chaptered fic, so bear with me. There is no canon. Just saying.

Masterlist [Chapter 1] Chapter 2

Marinette Al Ghul was very, very angry.

Half the League had staged a coup, killing many of the members still loyal to the Demon’s Head. Her mother, Talia, was in a watchtower, rapidly shooting down the helicopters assaulting the compound.

And Ra’s Al Ghul, the Demon’s Head, lay on the floor in front of her, his body horrifically burnt. He was alive, but just. The work of Slade, his trusted right hand man. 

Marinette hurries to Ra’s’ side as her twin draws his sword and attacks the traitor, anger fueling every one of Damian’s attacks.

“I am sorry that I was never good enough, Ra’s, but I am not sorry that you will be dead soon.” She murmurs. Marinette stands up, the rage of the Pit burning inside her. These people want to kill her. Kill her brother. She refuses to let that happen.

She flips open her two steel fans and bares her teeth in a snarl as Slade swings at Damian, who blocks the blow, but the force of it sends him crashing into the building.

Marinette charges the man, fans glinting dangerously in the light. She dodges the first swing and delivers a swift kick to Slade’s stomach, one fan slicing a cut across his right cheek. The second blow is intercepted by her fans. She is pushed back, her slim eleven year old body no match for a full-grown, very well-trained assassin.

Damian joins her and the onslaught of attacks from both of them sends Slade flying across the courtyard.

“So you’re Talia’s little bastards.” He sneers. “Not bad for children, but no match for me.”

“We shall see about that.” Marinette hisses. The Pit rage inside her grows even larger, and she lets the madness control her movements. The steel fans whirl through the air as she flicks her wrists, spinning and kicking, pushing the man back under a balcony.

Damian understands her motive and slices through the support beams with his katana, sending a large amount of wood crashing down on Slade. When the traitor bursts upwards, Marinette feels satisfaction as Damian thrusts his blade into Slade’s right eye.

“And now, your heart.” He snarls. Slade parries Damian’s blow and intercepts Marinette’s swing with his armor, eliciting sparks. 

Three spheres roll to a stop at Marinette’s feet. They spew out black smoke, and the twins reflexively cover their noses with their sleeves as Slade makes his escape.

“I’ll make you two suffer for this. Next time.” Slade’s voice rings all around them as they search blindly through the haze.

The smoke clears in time for them to see Slade being lifted out of the compound by a helicopter, with a man they recognize crouching in it, smirking.

“Ubu.” Damian growls. Marinette puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Do not worry, akhi. We will make him pay.” The helicopter sails away and they follow it out of the building.

Her brother raises his sword. “Come back and finish it, cowards!”

The remaining traitors also throw smoke bombs as they are picked up by the helicopters, leaving the twins in front of a burning building, surrounded by smoke, corpses, and blood.

“Grandfather.” Damian remembers, running back into the burning building. Marinette follows, not about to let her brother go alone anywhere. Not after what just happened.

“Damian!” She hears Talia call. “Marinette! Wait!”

She ignores her mother and charges down the stairs that lead to the Lazarus Pit, then freezes at the bottom. Damian releases a shaky breath by her side as Talia stops behind them.

Ra’s’ burnt corpse lay in front of them, outstretched hand just mere centimeters away from the green water.

Damian walks towards the body, sword falling to the ground.

“Damian.” Talia says. Her brother tries to pick up the corpse, heaving with the strain.

“We have to get him into the Lazarus Pit.” He says desperately. Damian picks up the body, but Marinette runs in front of him, blocking his path, stuffing down the tiny spark of elation at seeing her oldest, and largest tormentor dead.

“Akhi, you know the Pit cannot heal bodies this damaged. Ra’s is gone for good.” Damian sets the corpse back down and bows his head, tears glimmering in his eyes but refusing to fall.

Talia puts a hand on each of their shoulders. “You did your best.”

“I failed.” Her brother says. Marinette lets her hand rest on top of his, offering him silent comfort. We both did.

“We can’t think about that now. We must move.” Talia says. “Damian. Marinette. Come.” 

Marinette stands obediently, but Damian stays a moment longer. “Damian. Now!”

Marinette gently grasps her brother’s wrist and pulls him to his feet, following her mother out of the room.

“...Where are we going?” Damian asks.

“Gotham City.” Talia replies. “It’s time you meet your father.”

.o0o.

The ride to Gotham City is tense. Damian repeatedly polishes his katana, while Marinette continuously opens and closes her fans.

Their father is Bruce Wayne. World’s richest man, known for his work in many charities and for his ‘playboy’ reputation. At night, known as Gotham’s Dark Knight. In other words, their father is Batman.

Talia leaves them on the boat, choosing to track down their father and bring him back herself.

Marinette turns to Damian once she’s sure her mother is gone. “I would like to spar you, akhi. It would be a good outlet for both our feelings right now.”

Damian scans at the space around them. “As much as I want to agree, this space isn’t nearly large enough for a productive spar.”

Marinette huffs. “You are right. I shall meditate instead. The Pit rage has not completely receded yet from the fight.”

“Remind me why Mother wants us to stay behind this curtain again?”

“Officially, it is because she wants to keep us hidden until she is sure he will accept us. Unofficially, I think it is because she would like to seduce him first.” Marinette replies.

Their mother comes back not long after, with the footsteps of a tall man trying to be as silent as possible. Batman.

“Would you like a drink?” Talia asks.

“Last time that didn’t go so well.” A deep voice responds.

“Oh, you’re right. If I remember correctly, I put a little something in your beverage.”

“Same way I remember it.”

Damian and Marinette exchange a look. So this is how they were born.

“It made you romantic.”

“It made me do what you wanted.”

“Was it all bad, Beloved?”

A pause. “...No. It wasn’t.”

Marinette tunes out after that until Talia says “And now this man wants to kill us.” Her heels click closer to the curtain.

“Us?” Batman asks.

“Not you.” Talia replies. “Me.” She draws back the curtain, letting Damian and Marinette step out of the shadows.

“And your children.”

“Children?” Batman says, only the slightest change in tone indicating his surprise. “You expect me to believe this?”

“I assure you, they’re yours.” Talia says easily.

Damian, always the more confident of the two, walks up to their father and eyes him up and down. “Don’t look so stunned, Father. I thought you’d be taller.”

Marinette raises an eyebrow at her twin. “Akhi, he is six feet and four inches tall already. Any taller, and he would be a tree.”

Batman stays silent, choosing to glare? Stare? Do something that Marinette didn’t know because the white lenses hid his eyes and his facial expression doesn’t change.

.o0o.

The boat drives away, leaving Marinette and Damian with their father.

“You didn’t know about us.” Marinette states. 

“No.” Batman is not known for his eloquence.

“So Mother has made us your responsibility.” Damian snarks, but there is an air of seriousness to it.

“Something like that.”

Marinette squeezes her brother’s hand for reassurance. “This isn’t necessary. We can both do fine by ourselves.” 

“So do I. But things have changed. Your mother thinks that the two of you are better off with me for the time being.”

Damian raises an eyebrow. “What do you think?”

“Better than with the League of Assassins.” Their father replies.

“They taught us how to fight.” Damian says hotly.

“And I take it, not much else.”

“Actually, Father, that is not true.” Marinette jumps in. “In addition to learning many forms of martial arts and how to wield plenty of weapons, Damian and I are years ahead of a normal curriculum and we are both fluent in twenty languages. We can also play multiple instruments. My brother prefers piano and violin, while I tend to favor woodwinds such as the flute and oboe.”

Batman grunts and presses a button on his belt. The Batmobile opens, and the twins follow their father towards it.

“I’ll drive.” Damian says.

“No.” Their father grumbles.

“I know how.”

“No.”

“Can I drive then?” Marinette asks.

“No!”

Once they’re settled in the car, Batman hits the ‘Call’ button for someone named Alfred.

“Alfred.”

“Yes sir?” The butler has an impeccable British accent, much like Marinette and Damian’s. She can put on an American accent at will, but she preferred the sound of the British one. It was more structurally elegant.

“We’re going to have company. Prepare two rooms.”

“A sleepover? Oh, goody.”

“Actually, we would like to share a room.” Marinette says. “It would make us feel more comfortable.”

“I shall prepare a bunk bed then.”

“We don’t have a bunk bed. Alfred, where-” The call hangs up.

The Batcave is everything Marinette has ever imagined. Dark, yes, but full of state-of-the-art technology, vigilante costumes, and a medbay off to the side. Plus, a lot of bats.

An elderly man greets them when they exit the Batmobile. “Welcome back sir. I presume this is the young man and lady of whom you spoke?”

Damian strides up to the man and tries to stare him down. “Hello, Pennyworth. I’ve heard about you.”

Alfred bows. “At your service, Master Damian and Miss Marinette.”

“Would you prefer it if we called you Alfred, Mister Pennyworth?” Marinette asks.

“If you are comfortable calling me Alfred, then yes, I would prefer it.”

Damian looks around the cave. “Where are the rest of the servants?”

Alred raises an eyebrow. “I am the sum total.”

“You have only one servant?” Her brother says condescendingly to Batman, who looks a little awkward.

Marinette squeezes his hand. “Akhi, do not be rude. Our father was gracious enough to let us stay, although he did not have to. It would be counterproductive to his nightly activities if there were too many people who knew about it.”

“He’s not a servant.” Batman says. “He’s a friend.”

Marinette smiles at Alfred. “Pleasure to meet you, Alfred, friend of the Dark Knight.” She curtsies with perfect posture, the way she was taught, eliciting a smile from the man.

Damian sniffs and walks over to the Batcomputer. “So this is the fabled Batcave. Grandfather told me all about it.” Her brother sits down in the chair, inspecting the computer, then turns around and folds his hands, looking every bit like their grandfather.

“I, too, have heard about this place, but never from Ra’s or Mother. It was Lady Shiva who informed me instead.”

Damian frowns. “It is not your fault that Grandfather was always disappointed in you. He was… biased against women.”

“Ra’s has been disappointed in me since the day I was born. I do not care for his opinion.” Marinette says easily.

She walks up the stairs to the loft with the vigilante costumes and grimaces. “Father, what is the meaning of these atrocities?”

Batman is nonplussed. “What?”

Marinette gestures to the Robin costumes. “This. Why are they colored like a traffic light? What happened to Gotham’s Dark Knight, the epitome of stealth? Why were your proteges such eyesores? What exactly is the function of a bright yellow cape in the city of darkness?”

“This one does not even have pants.” Damian says tiredly. “Why would one fight criminals without pants?”

“Master Dick was a boy when he wore that.” Alfred says. “As for Master Jason and Master Tim, the Robin colors are now tradition. It is a legacy, the mantle being passed from boy to boy.”

“Never very peacefully though.” Damian comments. “The first Robin became Nightwing after a falling out with you, father. The second one took on the mantle not long after, and when he died, the third one, who found out your identity, essentially blackmailed you into taking him on. When the second Robin came back as Red Hood, he attempted to kill the third Robin on multiple occasions, did he not?”

“Akhi! Do you not have any tact? The death of family members is always a sensitive subject!” Marinette hisses, in Icelandic. It is highly unlikely that they will understand it.

“You don’t seem too sad about Grandfather’s death, ukhti.” Damian retorts. 

“Ra’s holds no special place in my heart. He sent me to train with Shiva from birth. You and I may have both grown up fighting, but you were treated like a prince, akhi. I was the lowest of the low. You endured hardships, yes, but you have never died. Nobody dared to kill you in training. I did not have such luxuries.”

“Would you like to see where you’ll be sleeping?” Alfred asks. “It is getting late.”

They follow him out of the Batcave and into the Manor.

“Are the others sleeping?” Marinette inquires.

“Hopefully. Master Dick is returning from Bludhaven tomorrow night. Master Jason currently at the Manor, recovering from some fractured ribs, and Master Timothy will likely be out for another six hours after Master Jason sedated him so he could get a full night’s sleep. Miss Cassandra should be asleep as well, though I think she will now be awake from the sound of our voices and our footsteps.”

“Cassandra Cain, correct?” Marinette says thoughtfully. “Daughter of Lady Shiva, Batgirl. A master at reading body language, capable of beating just about anybody in a fight. I was trained to match her, but my skills are nowhere as precise as hers.”

“Yes. Miss Cassandra is very proficient in reading body language. She knows a lot more than she lets on.” Alfred stops in front of a door.

“This will be your room. You will obviously have free run of the Manor, although I would suggest not going into any of the other bedrooms without the occupant’s permission. The door on your left leads to a bathroom, and the door on the right leads to a game room.”

“Thank you, Alfred.” Marinette says, when it is clear that Damian will not be saying anything polite. “If it is alright with you, we would like to be alone now.”

“Of course, Miss Marinette. Goodnight, Miss Marinette, Master Damian.” The door shuts behind him.

Damian immediately gets to work, searching the room for any bugs and finding none. Marinette opens the closet and pulls out two sets of pajamas: one in green and one in lavender. She grabs the lavender ones and lays the green ones out on the bottom bunk for Damian.

“Akhi, I am going to take a quick shower. It has been far too long since the last one.” 

 “I am claiming the bottom bunk, ukhti. I will investigate Ubu’s location while you are gone.”

Marinette heads into the massive bathroom and turns on the shower. Hot water comes streaming down immediately, and she marvels at the sight. Damian, being the heir to the Demon’s Head, would be used to it, of course, but as a female, she was seen as far below his status and was treated as such. She didn’t even know she was an al Ghul until after her first death.

Marinette knows that her twin brother was always treated with much more reverence, resulting in much more confidence and arrogance on his part. Damian has been exposed to the Pit, but he has never been killed. When she returned to Nanda Parbat at age nine, Damian was condescending at best. He did not believe her to be worthy of his time, no matter the blood bond between them. Just like Ra’s al Ghul, the man he was trying to grow up to be.

She changed that when Talia ordered them to spar, with Ra’s as a witness. They traded blows for hours, evenly matched, and it became evident that neither would lose unless the other collapsed from exhaustion. Ra’s decided to end the spar, and Marinette left the room tired and sweaty, but satisfied.

Damian was a lot more willing to talk to her after that, and she finally got to bond with her brother, even if he was rude at times.

Ra’s was not so easy to please. Marinette spent the rest of her time at the compound trying, but he would not acknowledge her no matter what she did. She would never be good enough anyway, so Marinette stopped trying. It wasn’t like she couldn’t take on any assassins he tried to send her way. (She killed six in the year she spent at Nanda Parbat.)

She and Damian bonded fairly easily after that. They never slept in the same quarter, but Marinette requested that they be put in the same room at the Manor for a couple reasons. One, so they could have some familiarity in this new city, and two, so they could plan Ubu’s demise without arousing suspicion.

Marinette stares at the mirror as she dries her hair. Tan skin, littered with lighter scars of all shapes and sizes, not noticeable unless one looked for long. Her eyes are the same shade of blue as her father’s, unlike Damian’s piercing green. Her midnight black hair was chopped short for practicality in combat. She slips on the pajamas and heads out of the bathroom.

Damian is sitting on the bottom bunk, clad in the green pajamas with a laptop on his lap. “I found Ubu’s location. He’s also in Gotham.”

“Good.” Marinette says coldly. “That means we can get him ourselves.”

“I shall make sure he dies a painful death.” 

“Only after we get the information, akhi.” 

That was another difference between them. Damian had no qualms about killing. He saw it as the only way to defeat someone in a fight, unless it was a spar. Marinette, while fully capable of ending a life, hated it. She did not kill unless absolutely necessary, or when the rage of the Pit overtook her, which did not happen almost at all. She had gotten a lot better at controlling the madness.

“Ubu does not plan on moving for quite a while. He is certain that he is safe here. We do not have to make a move tonight.” Damian shuts the laptop. “You should sleep, ukhti. It has been quite a long day.”

Marinette gives him a small smile. “It has been a long day for you too, akhi. We both have to sleep.”

She flips off the lights and climbs up to the top bunk. “Goodnight Damian.”

“Goodnight, Marinette.”

Marinette closes her eyes in the unfamiliar bed and lets the darkness overcome her.

Next

Update: the tag list for this fic is now closed. Everyone who either asked or commented has been put on the list! Thanks for your support! 😊

[batarella]

The Commander - Part 12 (Arkham Knight x Reader)

We’ve reached the point where the events take place in the Arkham Knight video game!!! I found these more difficult since I wanted to stay true to the source material. The timing isn’t perfect but I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY.

WORDS: 3239 WARNINGS: BATMAN ARKHAM KNIGHT SPOILERS, ARKHAM KNIGHT AUDIO LOGS SPOILERS, VIOLENCE, JASON FLUFF, AND A LIL ASS GRAB

Masterlist

THE COMMANDER - MASTERLIST

-----

The Arkham Knight to Ace Chemicals.

Deathstroke to Stagg Airships.

And Deadshot, the Militia Commander, to the abandoned Killinger’s Department Store. The Arkham Knight Headquarters.

Five trucks and two choppers surround the building. Crates for the weapons were being unloaded, drones being dropped off by the helicopters, some driving off into the tunnels and the rest through the main entrance.

The Commander held a gun to a police officer’s forehead, who was on his knees, his hands behind his head, and was trembling. Five others lined up beside him. They were found in the mall before any of the soldiers got there.

“Call off your reinforcements. Now.”

They looked up at the Commander’s chilling white mask, at the red gun optics where an eye hole was supposed to be. She looked positively terrifying. The police officer gulped, then lowered his hands to pick up his radio.

“What kind of army are you?” the officer beside him asked. The Commander pointed the gun at him. “You be quiet.”

He saw this as a chance. Instead of a radio, the officer quickly pulled out his pistol and fired at the Commander. Everyone else flinched at the gunshot.

The officer dropped his gun, then his whole body fell to the floor. His blood leaked out of the bullet hole right out where his nose was supposed to be, and smoke came out of the second pistol the Commander quickly pulled out before the officer had even moved.

She pointed the two guns at the remaining cops.

“Any of you want to do it?”

The one in the middle swallowed hard, finally thinking it right to pick up his radio.

“Commissioner, this is Officer Chang.”

A ball of sweat poured out when the commander clicked the trigger.

“Call off reinforcements to Killinger’s Department Store.”

He turned the radio off, then threw it to the ground.

“All your weapons. On the ground,” the commander ordered. All of them did as told. “Sergeant. Make sure they don’t escape. Anyone see us?”

“None so far. We’re good to go.”

“Get all the trucks out of here. Make sure no one finds us.”

Cameras. They should be here. Somewhere.

Even with the building abandoned, she could feel some where staring at her.

At the far end, on a street light. Deadshot raised her arm and pulled on the gun on her wrist. The optics on her eye flashed its signature. The camera exploded and the lights flashed red, yellow, and green at the same time.

There was another one. By the building across them. Her optics picked up the movement and she fired at it before it could fully turn at her direction.

The last one could be ignored. It was ten stories up, by a skyscraper. It only barely got a glimpse of the entrance to the shopping mall.

But she wasn’t taking the chance.

From such a distance, Deadshot raised her arm and fired from ten stories down, right at the almost microscopic security camera installed at an office ceiling.

The glass window blew up and there was a flash of light coming from the building, until her optics detected nothing more than just ceiling bulbs.

Done. It was safe.

She watched the officer’s dead body being taken away. He had a family. A daughter like Zoe. A niece like Y/N. They were waiting for him to come home.

The Commander walked over to the entrance. Sentry guns were being placed, her men marched to the elevators and some passed through the tunnels. She pressed the communicator on her ear.

“Knight. We have the base.”

“Batman is in Ace Chemicals. He’s about to go after Crane. Did they get Barbara Gordon?”

She looked over to the final truck unloading by the entrance. A red-haired woman confined to a wheelchair was being wheeled down to the elevators. She was gagged, laying unconscious while she was taken to the undergrounds.

“Arrived just now. What do we do with her?”

“Just keep her in the base. Crane and I will get there as soon as we can.”

“Copy.” The gates were being pulled down and the lights switched off. The Commander walked into the elevator with the captive.

He said Barbara Gordon worked for Batman, that she was a crucial part in his operations, and that he used to know her when he was still working with Batman.

“Keep her alive,” she said, as the elevator pried open and Barbara was wheeled into the underground base, into a secluded room which she thought used to be a large clothing store. Its window was overlooking most of the base, and she could see what went on outside.

How many innocent people has she hurt? How much guilt did she have to push back her whole life?

“Clear everything. This will be the control room for the drones and the communicators. Take Gordon to the back.”

She went with them to the offices, and just then, the generators turned on. They left Barbara in one of the rooms.

“Knight. Are you here?”

“I’ll come up in a few minutes.”

She told Lieutenant Whitman to wait in front of the closed door, walking back outside where the computers were being set up just outside.

Scarecrow walked in, just as her eyes adjusted to the dim lighting. He looked at her, head to toe.

“Commander…”

“Crane…” she snarled. She took a seat at the center of the long table and pulled up the camera footage of outside the mall.

No one was outside, and the entrance remained dark. The tunnels were closed, and the Batman was nowhere to be seen. She sees Jason pull up in his motorcycle by the entrance, hiding it behind a dumpster.

“Commander,” she heard her comms buffer while watching the Knight with his hand up to his ear. “I’m at the base.”

“Just walk in to the elevator. What happened at Ace Chemicals?”

“Batman blew the whole place down. But we got what we needed.”

“Good job,” she smirked. “I’m looking at you right now from the control room. I’ve destroyed every other camera and installed new ones from all over the command points and watchtowers going online.”

Jason looked around, finding the camera and looking straight at it.

“Everything looking good?”

“Yes,” she said. “Looking good indeed. That ass looks phenomenal.”

The Knight chuckled under his visor as she watched him walk into the mall. “I’m coming down.”

“You know where to find us.”

She turned her communicators off, then glared at the sergeant looking at her funny. He quickly looked away.

Finally, this was where it all came to be. The bases were all online. On the screen newly set up in front of her, she brought up the live footage from the serpent drones flying above the three islands. Everything was in place.

But one of their bomb mines in Miagani set off an alert.

“A bomb has been hacked, Lieutenant. Send the drones to the coordinates.”

“Yes sir,” her comms spoke into her ear. Tapping onto the controls, she sent a serpent drone to hover above the scene.

And fucking hell, was it something she didn’t expect.

It wasn’t a car. Batman had a fucking tank. Bigger than any of their drones, and so much more than any of them expected.

She sent every drone close to the location to ambush the Batmobile. “Open fire.”

The drones fired their missiles. Rattlers, Diamondbacks, Mambas, and even a Boa, all firing at him. One by one, a drone went offline, and she wanted to rip her hair out from her scalp. “Why did no one tell me about his fucking tank?”

The Batmobile just went on and on, and it fired a 60mm canon right at a Boa, blowing it up after just two shots. She could only watch on, locking onto five different drones and clearing the ambush without so much as a dent. When every drone went offline, the bomb mine hacked, the Commander fell back to her chair.

She suddenly didn’t feel so good.

The Knight came up to the control rooms. He took more time down the elevator than Batman did blowing up all those drones. “Commander.”

“Knight.” She stood up. “Gordon’s in that room.”

He didn’t say anything, and the Commander realized he was looking at her new suit. “Nice job with the HQ.” Jason walked over to the back. “Where’s Crane?”

“He went in there with Barbara.”

“That son of a- Get the hell away from her!” He screamed at Scarecrow just as he swung the door open. Crane shot up, but he took his time.

“Soon, you won't be able to choose who lives or dies from your own doings, Knight.”

“I said get out.”

“Crane,” the Commander said. She walked over and grabbed him by the arm, but Scarecrow shook it off. “Remember what we talked about, Commander…”

He left the room. Commander Y/N looked over to Jason.

“Commander. Can you leave us?”

She looked at him, then at Barbara. Nodding, she left the room, but kept her ear close to the door.

“He’s gone. Did he hurt you?”

“Spare me the good cop, bad cop routine.”

So he cares about her. Fair enough.

He talked about Batman, the same things she’s already known about how he was betrayed, how he kept talking to the Joker hoping it would give him enough time to come rescue him. How he never did.

But then she heard his visor turn up, then it was Jason’s unfiltered voice, screaming at the captive.

The Commander kept at the door.

“Jason, we can fix it.”

“I can fix it! I know now what to do. I take all this pain. All this blackness. And I put it all in a bullet. And I put it right between Bruce’s eyes.”

His voice was breaking as he spoke. She wanted to go after him. But Scarecrow’s boney hand touched her shoulder. She flinched away.

“She’s ready. Be at the undergrounds in fifteen minutes.”

The Commander just watched Crane barge into the door, calling for the Knight to prepare the Cloudburst.

“Someone put a gag on her. Anyone hurts her, they’re a dead man.”

She was the only one nearby. The Commander walked in, took a gag from her pockets and placed it on Barbara’s mouth.

“You’ll be okay,” she whispered to her. Gordon stopped struggling, and a soldier came in bearing a gun.

“Watch over her,” the Knight ordered. At the control center, Scarecrow took a seat. And he brought the camera logged into the Cloudburst up on the screen. “Ten minutes, Knight.”

He nodded at Scarecrow, and the Commander trailed behind him as they headed for the elevators to the undergrounds. The one that lead to a tunnel up to the streets in Founder’s.

The cop’s blood was still probably spilling on the streets. How many people did she hurt by killing him?

Jason pressed the button, and the elevator roared in a twitching buzz.

His silence only pained her. She wanted to hold him tight, but if he wanted that, he would’ve pulled her close himself. Jason inched himself to the corner, his arms shielding his chest. He didn’t want to be bothered.

Nothing has meant more to him than putting an end to Batman’s reign over Gotham.

But what happens then?

What happens to Jason after he’s done what he wanted? When he has Gotham under his feet, when all else has been destroyed?

Y/N watched the walls outside the elevator move up, until suddenly there was a loud crash and the whole thing stopped moving, the lights dimmed out and the noise from the gears came to a halt.

Jason cursed every swear word he knew. “These fucking generators. They’re all over the place.”

“It should be fixed in a few minutes. Don’t worry.” The Commander leaned against the wall. “Are you alright?”

No. He wasn’t. Since they arrived at Gotham the dark cloud over his head just grew darker and stronger, knowing his path to kill the Bat was coming to a close. The Commander stood right beside him and brushed her arm against his larger one.

“Take that thing off. It’s only me.”

Jason pushed the button, then his hand immediately wiped the tears that had been sitting on his cheek. Y/N fell ill, taking off her own mask and pushing her shoulder against Jason’s.

“Talk to me.”

He faced her. “You already know everything.”

“But you’ve never told me yourself. I only had to find out.”

“I’ve told you enough.”

“No,” she said, taking his face. “I don’t think you have.”

He no longer flinched when she did that. Instead, the corners of his mouth curved up, taking her hand and squeezing it. He pulled it away from his face, but kept running his thumb over her fingers.

“I waited for him to come for me. Even after so many months. I never lost hope. But Joker…” he choked. “He just kept beating that hope out of me. He kept me in an abandoned wing at Arkham. No one ever found me. He paid one of the guards to let him in, beat me with a crowbar, tied me to the ceiling, strapped me to a chair, called all his friends to help torture me, did this to my face..”

She laid her head on his shoulder. “I went in there a boy with so much wonder to look at in the world. And when I came out, I was nothing. Emptied out. I only knew anger. I hated everyone around me. And there was nothing I wanted more than to kill him.”

The Commander looked up at him, and he craned his head down so his face was nearer to hers.

“I think I would’ve gone clinically insane without you.”

A kiss to the lips. Already he’d calmed.

“How ‘bout you? How are you holding up?” he asked.

“I’m trying not to think about him. For tonight, at least.”

“You know you can just sit back if you like-“

“I’m fine. I can rest after I take out the Cloudburst.”

He shuffled his arms and took his hand away from hers. “I was meaning to talk to you about that.”

“What about?

“I should be the one to go out there. I want to take him by myself.”

“We talked about this,” she said. “I can blow a tank.”

“And I know you're going to say you’re so much better than me at it.”

“I’m not saying that.”

“With what just happened, with you, your uncle, it’s better if you stay upstairs.”

She just looked annoyed by then. “Jason, I’m taking the Cloudburst.” Jason didn’t answer and kept his head craned down. The Commander scoffed. “You’re not paying me more than a million dollars tonight just to stay behind at the control room.”

“Fine,” he stood in front of her. “Five Cobra drones will be at your escort and I’ll come along in a Serpent when the time comes, or if you need any help. Also, I forgot to give you these.”

He pulled out an earpiece. “This communicator only links to mine. It’s a second one. We have our main, which Batman probably has access to. And this. He wouldn’t be looking for it. Not even Crane knows about it.”

She took it and placed it on her ear. “I’ll be fine.”

“Be careful out there.” His voice was soft.

He wasn’t talking to the Commander. He was talking to Y/N.

Jason slowly held her hips, pulled her close and finally managed a small smile. He kissed her, harder as if saying goodbye. She hugged his neck and leaned in even closer.

At the midst of a city wide apocalypse, she was his only light. And it was true. If not for her, he’d be so engulfed in his own darkness, there’d be no escape, not even if he wanted to climb out of it.

After he kills Batman, he’ll need her more than anything else. He’ll need something to level his ground, to bring out the humanity still left in him.

She knew first hand what it was like killing someone she had a terrible grudge on. It wasn’t the same as killing someone you never knew. It ruins you, drags you to every circle of hell until there’s no where else to go. She had to climb out of that deep pit by herself. And it wasn’t an easy task.

It was partly the reason why she couldn’t bring herself to go to Arkham.

When you thought your life would be a much lighter weight to carry, it only adds to the pain. Jason didn’t need to be told that.

The elevator finally started up, then the lights turned on. He slightly pulled away, leaning his forehead against hers for as long as he could. The Commander held the side of his face and closed her eyes.

“By the way,” he whispered. “I love the new suit.”

His hand grabbed her ass. She jumped up, playfully pushing his arm away. Her laughter was the last thing he heard when the doors pushed open and they pulled away.

The Knight flashed his visor back on. It was there.

She was ready.

The Cloudburst. The beautiful monstrosity that was Scarecrow’s most beloved weapon. The Nimbus Tech was in place right at the front, and it had the much of the toxin, enough to drown a person before they’d even get a glimpse of their fear. The front flashed a dark blue, much like the eyes on the Arkham Knight’s visor, and the gun optics, the Commander couldn’t help but revel in it.

It was the best tank she’ll ever get to man in her life. And she’s been through quite a number.

The gates slowly rolled up, and a soldier stepped out the hatch. It was time. She took one look at Jason, even through the visor.

She wasn’t afraid. She knew she wasn’t going to die tonight.

But she should’ve told him she loved him. Even for the just the slightest chance she might not come back. He deserved to know.

So she had to come back. For him. She still had so much to look forward to. A life outside the militia. A life with Jason. And she had to make sure he’ll be okay. That he wouldn’t have to claw himself out of the darkness, that she’d be there to hold him up. He needed her. Just as much as she needed him.

‘Breathe in. Breathe out.’

She closed her eyes, then climbed up to the hatch.

The gate was fully open, and the five Cobra Drones have been driven out the tunnels. The Commander closed the hatch, settled herself in, and pulled on the lever.

‘Always breathe. Don’t let the world touch your focus, Deadshot.’

Y/N looked onto her scope, still after so many tries. Floyd kneeled down next to her, and brought her hand further out closer to the muzzle. She knew she should have just hit the birds.

At the pull of the trigger, her eyes closed shut. She didn’t want to look. She waited for Floyd’s hand on her shoulder again, or another piece of advice that only did so much to help.

‘Bullseye,’ her uncle said. And she shot up in the air and cried in joy.

It was steak night, tonight. That was what Floyd promised.

-----

THE COMMANDER - MASTERLIST

----

  Taglist: everyartistwas-firstanamateur  @sarcasmismyfirstlove @damned-queen-of-gotham @idkmanicantenglish @wunderstell @birdy-bat-riya @get-loki@everyday-imfangirling @comic-nerd-dc @multifandoms916 @icequeen208@offendedfishnoises @egdolan @xemiefx @arkhamtoddler @elsenthal@mythicbitchx @supremehaunter @ burning-alive  @lucy-roo

[preciousthingsareprecious]

With a Heart of Scars Chapter 9

The biggest thanks to @dreamer-247re for creating incredible art for this chapter. It’s stunning and gorgeous and still takes my breath away every time I look at it! 

This one’s Damian’s POV again, and I hope you guys enjoy it <3

AO3 Link 

~

The moment Grayson dropped into the building the connection to his comm went silent, and nothing Damian tried could get it to turn back on. He suspected some kind of interference, if people had been trapped in that building for hours, something was blocking their phone signals, and that same something was probably interrupting their comm line as well. Not that either of them had thought of that before Grayson entered.

A stupid miscalculation on Damian's part. One he would not repeat again. 

Damian found an external camera he could hack, and caught sight of a hooded figure whose shape was roughly the same as that of one of the people who had set up the strange twister game. The person was fiddling with something blocky that Damian couldn’t quite make out, before pressing it to the side of the building. 

Could it be a bomb? A listening device of some sort? He wasn’t sure, and he couldn’t hail Grayson. But, perhaps he could send backup Batman’s way. 

“Oracle, I need your assistance.” 

“Hey Lil’ D, what’s up?” Gordon asked, sounding far too bright for this hour, and curious. 

He ignored the outrageous nickname usage, “Are the Birds close to the downtown shopping district?” 

“Batgirl and Black Bat are currently stowed away on a ship, getting ready to turn it around. Why?” 

“Tt, Batman is in need of backup. There are unknown hostiles approaching him and a possible bomb threat, but I cannot contact him.” 

“I’ll give it a shot on my end. Is Tim home yet? Can he head out?” 

Damian ground his teeth. No his brother, and Grayson’s supposed partner, had not returned yet. If he had, he had not made it known to any of them. There was no one to back Batman up. No one but Damian himself. 

He shoved aside all thoughts of possible punishment for going out without permission, and pushed his chair away from the desk. 

“No. He is not.” Damian stood, “It seems it is up to me to handle the situation. Oracle, stay on this line so that when Pennyworth comes down you can inform him of the situation.” 

He looked down at himself and frowned. He was wearing a brightly colored shirt Pennyworth had purchased him, featuring a cartoon dog on the front. There was no way he could rescue Batman in that. 

He hurried to the lockers and grabbed the first dark thing he could find, a black hoodie. It turned out to not be solid, but had a Nightwing emblem splashed across the front. The sleeves were also too long, but Damian easily rolled those up, before tugging the hood over his hair. Then he grabbed an extra domino mask and affixed it to his face. Lastly, he grabbed one of Drake’s Robin belts. Grayson had made Damian take inventory of the belt a number of times to get familiar with its contents, and he was confident it was small enough to fit him. It also would have medical supplies and weapons to defend himself if the situation called for it. He didn’t bother changing out of his black jeans or tennis shoes, both would do fine for the rescue mission. 

Through his quick change, he ignored Oracle’s requests for more information, and demands that he stay right there and send Alfred instead. Damian respected Pennyworth, but he didn’t want to waste time. 

Besides, this was partially his fault, and he was the only one who really knew how to fly the Batmobile. It would be the fastest way to reach Grayson. 

Damian was quite proud of his achievement. After growing bored of exploring the cave systems, and discovered some of Father’s schematics and future plans to make his car fly and had taken to making those plans a reality. He had even gotten permission to work on it. Grayson had happily supplied not only permission, but any supplies he needed when Damian had asked. He was further encouraged by the fact that the man had come downstairs to sit with him a few times. However, it was Damian's project and he was most familiar with the systems. He had not even had time to tell anyone that he’d actually managed to get it to fly. 

Gordon must have called Pennyworth, because Damian spotted the man hurrying down the stairs as he climbed into the car.

“Master Damian, wait!” he called. 

Damian ignored the request, closing the door, and starting the engine. He felt a little bad for ignoring Pennyworth, but time was of the essence and he needed to get to Grayson. He hoped Pennyworth would not be too upset with him as he raced past the man and out the exit, but he would have to understand just how important this was. There was no time left to dally if he were to stop something bad from happening to the man he was beginning to consider family.

A few meters out of the cave, Damian hit the button to begin the car’s flying sequence. After a brief moment of panic that it would not work, slowly but surely it lifted off, and Damian's shoulders relaxed minutely. Soon he was zooming over trees and streets, and obstacles that would have cut into the time it took to get to Grayson’s location. 

He fretted as he flew, his mind coming up with every terrible thing that could happen, his stomach growing sicker at each thought. Most of all, he couldn't stop thinking about why he was betraying every house rule to rush out and save Grayson. 

When had he really started to care about him? When had it become more than his just using the man to learn more about his Father? He’d come to respect Grayson quickly, that was certain. But this sick feeling of worry was one Damian had only held for his mother on the rare occasion she was late returning from a dangerous mission. 

Damian tolerated Brown and Todd and Cain, but Grayson? He looked forward to seeing the man. Had come to enjoy his smiles, and even put up with his nicknames. They were warm, like a blanket wrapped around his shoulders when he was tired, or a coat on a cold day. 

It was stupid. And weak. And foolish. Feelings like this were compromising, they would get him killed. Make him run headlong into danger without a thought for himself, much like he was doing now. But Damian found he didn’t care about being weak in that sense. It hurt to imagine  not  caring about Grayson. And so he fretted. He fretted and worried and ignored the pinging of a message from Oracle. 

That sick feeling in Damian’s chest exploded into awful panic as Main Street finally came into view and he caught sight of what used to be Wonderland, now a smoking wreck, collapsed in on itself. 

He held his emotions in check long enough to take the car down, right onto the street and bolt out of it. 

“Batman!” he yelled, bolting for the wreckage “Where are you?” 

Damian should not be panicking. Panic made one miss things, it made them sloppy. But Batman had been in the building. It had blown up. He could be--Grayson might be--

No. Grayson would be fine. Damian would find him, and get him home, and he would be fine. 

He scanned the rubble of the building, and yelled for Batman again, his voice raspy in the smoke billowing around. Belatedly he remembered the domino was equipped with some basic alternate vision options, Damian poked at it until it showed heat signatures. 

It didn’t look like the building had caught fire, thank goodness, but there was a large area of warmth towards where the back would have been that radiated out into other areas. 

“Batman!” he called again, vision slowly creeping across rubble. 

He had no idea how deep the lenses would penetrate. Some parts of the rubble were raised higher than others, like they’d all fallen in that direction, while others were spars, bits and pieces here and there still showing the floor that had once been inside.

“Here.” the word was faint, and trailing at the end, but it gave Damian hope. 

He jerked his attention towards the sound, and there! A figure, the heat registering as cooler than Damian wanted it to be, but that could have been the weather or injury or just rubble blocking it. Whatever it was, he bolted in it’s direction, only turning off the filter when he was close enough to clearly see Batman. 

He was on his back, partially trapped under fallen drywall. Damian had missed him on his first glance due to the drywall’s angle, tilted up and slightly against Grayson to block him from proper view. 

“Batman!” He called again, and started climbing over the rubble as carefully as he could without risking dislodging something and shifting the whole pile, “I am on my way.” 

His heart was racing. He was terrified, he realized. Afraid of what he’d find. Afraid of what had happened. Afraid to be too late, even now. 

When he reached Batman, he dropped to his knees to examine him. The most obvious injury was the blood that seeped out from under his cowl. Everything else was hidden under the fallen drywall.

“Batman, I am going to have to lift this, brace yourself.” he said. 

“Nightwing?” Grayson asked, the word slurring, “What?”

Damian looked down at his hoodie and the Nightwing emblem emblazoned on it, “Oh. No, you idiot. It is me. Now hold still while I lift this.”

He leaned forward, and gripped the drywall to lift it. It was lighter than Damian imagined it to be, but still quite heavy. When he got it up high enough, he shifted to shove his shoulder under it to help him leverage it even higher and then away, angled just far enough that his brother’s body was revealed. 

“Scoot back.” Damian grunted.

Thankfully, Grayson seemed to have enough sense to listen. He dragged himself back from Damian and the drywall, moving just far enough that after a moment, Damian let the whole thing drop again with a crash. 

His shoulder ached, but he had more important things to worry about than it. He quickly examined Batman, the suit on Grayson’s right thigh had been torn open by something, and his leg was slowly oozing blood. The wound did not seem to be serious enough for Damian to stop and take care of it now, so instead he focused on getting the man home for a full check up and proper medical attention. 

He leaned over to take Grayson by the arm, “Come, we are leaving.” 

He hauled his brother up onto unsteady legs. Grayson stood for a few seconds before slumping. He would have fallen if Damian hadn’t caught him, still the man was much taller than him, and carrying him was going to be difficult. 

“This is not going to be comfortable, Batman.” Damian said, “But we will make it work.” 

He tugged one of Grayson’s arms over his shoulder, and gripped the back of Batman's utility belt as tightly as he could under the cape to help hoist him up, and then started forward. He was basically dragging Grayson as they moved, and because of that he could not be as careful moving across the rubble. Thankfully, he was not worried about further crushing his brother, so the only real obstacle was tripping or dislodging something so that he fell into a hole. 

Grayson seemed to come a bit back to himself, at least enough to speak, “But  I’m  Nightwing?”  

Damian shook his head, “No, as I explained, you are Batman, I am--” he dreaded having to use the nickname, “Lil’ D.”

His brother shook his head, “No, no, I’m Nightwing. Batman is--Bruce is--”

“Grayson, Father is-- he is gone.” Damian said, “You are Batman now.” 

That was the wrong thing to say because it made Grayson try to pull away from his grip. He was confused, and hurting, which added some strength to his attempts and threatened to topple them both. 

“No!” Grayson cried, “I don’t want to be Batman. I never-- I don’t have to because Bruce is.” 

His attempts to get away from Damian finally succeeded in making Damian slip, a stone dislodged from under his foot, and then the ground disappeared and Damian fell down, then to the side. He lost his grip on Grayson, and landed hard on his already aching shoulder. 

Behind him, he heard rumbling as the structure shifted. He felt the vibrations under his palms as he pushed himself up, to spin and search for his brother. 

Grayson had landed on his knees, and was staring down at the bat on his chest, one hand brushing over it.

“Father is dead, Grayson.” Damian snapped, as he stepped over to lift Grayson again. 

“That is why you are Batman, now act like it and pull yourself together for a moment.” 

Normally, he would not have cared about being so brusque, but even with the cowl covering most of his face the effect of Damian’s words on Grayson was obvious. He looked like a kicked puppy. It twisted Damian’s heart, but he couldn’t waste time on feelings. He needed to get Grayson home, first and foremost. Then worry about the hurt his words caused. 

He managed to drag Grayson off the rubble and back to the car. It took some work to get him settled in the passenger’s seat, but Grayson had stopped fighting him, and was mostly responsive to directions.

It did not take long for Grayson to pass out once they were moving. Damian tried to wake him, but there was no autopilot function build into the flying portion of the car yet --he had that on his list of activities for next week-- so he had to focus on getting them home, and hoping that Grayson would be fine. 

He did phone the Batcave to update Pennyworth on their status. The butler’s anger was quickly set aside for worry, and a flood of questions about Grayson’s condition. Damian did his best to describe it, and estimate an arrival time. 

Pennyworth took over when Damian finally parked. He went from being in command of the situation to following whatever directions were aimed at him, and he did so happily. Grayson had woken again when they moved him from the car, and was now babbling about Father. He was alternating between asking where he was and crying over losing him. 

The guilt Damian had been able to ignore earlier came back at those words, and he felt terrible for snapping at his brother. He felt even worse that he could not seem to muster any grief over his father. Not in the same way Grayson was feeling it now. He was too concerned about his brother. His not quite partner who he’d almost lost tonight. Who had been out because of a Father who was not there. Who was alone because of a father Drake was still searching for. Who was now crying out for that same father. 

He did his best to ignore the strange twist of emotions in his chest and help Pennyworth instead. He collected blankets, lifted Grayson’s head, and handed over bandages as they were requested. 

Damian finally stopped moving when Grayson was at last sleeping and settled into a medical cot. He could not leave Grayson, no matter how conflicted looking at the man made him. So Damian settled in a chair and declared he’d keep an eye on him while Pennyworth got some rest. 

He tugged his legs up, onto the chair, so he could wrap his arms around them, and rested his chin on his knees. Somewhere in all the chaos, the sleeves of his borrowed hoodie had slipped down, and fallen over his hands to flop. Damian didn’t bother re-rolling them, but instead enjoyed the way they gave him a feeling of being further wrapped up, snuggled in something tight and comforting.

Sitting there, his odd feelings from earlier returned. He called them odd because he had not had time to pick at the strange ball of emotion in his chest and sort out what it all meant. 

There was irritation with himself over this attachment. He could hear mother’s voice in his head, chiding him and reminding him that love was a weakness. That caring about others only held one back. She was right of course, Damian had thrown all caution to the wind, disobeyed Pennyworth, and Oracle and run headlong after Grayson over a hunch. It had been correct, but even that was neither here nor there in consideration of the danger it had posed. 

The caring itself was another factor Damian turned over in his head, like he had turned the batarangs Grayson had shown him how to sharpen in his hands. Love, or at the very least, like, was dangerous. It was sharp, like the ends of the batarang, and would cut him if he was not careful, but it was also warm, like Grayson’s words had been. Gentle like his hands had felt in adjusting Damian’s grip. Something soft and happy like Damian’s heart had felt at Grayson’s praise. 

Damian looked back down at his brother. Grayson’s arms were laid out on top of the light blanket covering him. One hand was already showing bruising, ugly black and blue splotches where he must have raised them in defense. The bruises flowed down his forearm, and ended in a bullseye on his elbow. It made Damian wince just imagining it.

He released his hold on his legs and brushed a hand across the back of Grayson's palm, considering taking it in his own. Then the man groaned, and shifted, his hand slipping away from Damian's feather light grasp. He swallowed, and wrapped his arm back around his legs to grab his other hand, before resting his chin on his knees to continue his vigil. 

[fearfulkittenwrites]

“Traitor! My cookies!”

Inspired by @tiny-italian-danger-noodle​ (Link to the amazing post: https://tiny-italian-danger-noodle.tumblr.com/post/624948123561852928/im-sorry-but-i-just-love-the-idea-of-the-rest-of )

Word count: 2261

Notes: Heyy! Quick heads up: I changed some things from the original post. Idk, it just made sense in my head to write it like this. Also, yes, I did made a point in fitting in the batman bingo, because I have a card to fill and it was perfect, so don't yell at me :( I hope you enjoy it! <3

It’s not like there was any kind of conscious effort in it. And yet, Dick was slowly becoming the closest thing the batfamily had to a mom. He hated it, but someone had to tell Damian to not kill his brothers. Or tell Tim to go to bed after 48 hours up. Or tell Jason not to shoot firearms inside the house. Or tell Steph to not prank elderly people (It doesn’t matter that they are homophic Steph, you can’t do that, they’re 80). And if no one else would do it, then, well, he would.

It started after the cookie episode.

Alfred had baked them after Damian requested it. He had been craving those for months, and finally decided to ask for them. But Jason came home before he did, and ended up eating most of them, leaving the smallest two for the boy. Once the kid got home from school and saw what happened, he was fuming.

“Devilspawn, what are you doing in my room?” Jason asked, laying on the bed, face buried in a book.

“You. Ate. My. Cookies.” He said, katana in his hands.

“Okay, and?” Jason answered “I left you some. And I eat stuff from everyone in the house, so that really shouldn’t- You have your sword. Oh my God, why do you have your sword?” He jumped to his feet after the realization, trying to run.

“You will pay!” Damian raised his katana, charging towards his brother.

“Fuck!” Jason yelled, climbing on the bed, trying to get away from the boy.

“I have been waiting for those cookies for ages!” Damian sliced through the air, aiming for the other’s feet. Jason fell from the bed trying to evade the move and ran through the bedroom door.

“Help!” He yelled, running down the halls “Dick, help! Damian wants to kill me! Again!”

“Traitor!” Damian screeched behind him, tiny footsteps growing louder and louder as he approached Jason “My cookies!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAH!” He ran down the stairs, going to the entrance hall “Dick, please! He’s getting closer!”

Damian skipped steps behind him.

“You coward!” He brandished his sword “Face me like a man!”

As they went into the dining room, Damian felt a sudden pull at his uniform’s collar. Dick held him there, as if he was a kitten, and pointed at Jason.

“Don’t move.”

“Okay.” Jason said, backed up against the wall.

“Unhand me Grayson!” He complained, trying to twist himself free “He deserves punishment for his crimes!”

“Give me the katana.” Dick took the weapon from his brother’s hands “Damian, the no kill rule does extend to siblings. Please keep that in mind.”

“I wasn’t going to kill him.” Damian pouted, angry “I was simply going to mutilate or maim. If he died, that would be on him.”

“We don’t mutilate or maim each other in this house, okay?” Dick said, finaly letting go of the kid “Don’t make me repeat that.”

“Fine.”

“And you,” He turned to Jason, crossing his arms “Why did you eat all of his cookies?”

“I left him some.” He mumbled.

“Doesn’t matter.” Dick answered, hardened expression “You should’ve waited for him to get home, and you know it.”

“Yeah, okay.” He scratched his head.

“Now, apologize to each other.”

Both of them looked horrified at the idea. Dick sighed.

“Apologize. Now.” They didn’t budge “Or you’re both banned from patrol for a week.”

“You can’t do that.” Jason said “Can he?” He asked Damian, in a quieter voice. The kid shrugged.

“Don’t test me.” Dick answered.

“Fine.” Jason rolled his eyes “I’m sorry for eating all your cookies.”

“And I’m sorry for trying to mutilate you because of it.”

“Great. Now hug it out.”

“I’m not...”

“You must be...”

“Now!” He stomped his foot, and both of them grumpily hugged each other, clearly uncomfortable way “See? Was that so hard?”

“Yes.” Both of them answered.

“Then think about that before you do some stupid shit again.” Dick answered, leaving the room.

Tim, who was out of sight but within earshot, raised an eyebrow at the scene.

The next week, he knocked on the door of Dick’s room, covered in glue, feathers and glitter.

“He- Woah!” Dick said as he opened the door, finding a very unamused Tim on the other side “Okay, you’re not getting in here like that. What happened?”

“Steph happened.” Tim answered, flat toned and tired.

“I love how that explains so much and so little at the same time.” He sighed, supporting an arm on the door frame “What did she do?”

“Glue bucket on my door. Tripwire, then a bunch of feathers. And finally, a glitter bomb by my bathroom door.”

“Oh God.” He covered his mouth with a hand “Why?”

“Prank war. She took it a little too seriously.”

Dick rested his head on his forearm.

“Steph!” He yelled out “Come here!”

They heard footsteps, and the blonde girl emerged, laughing.

“Oh, man!” She said “This is the best one yet.”

“Steph, why would you do that?” He asked.

“Oh, so he can hack into my computers and change the names of all my files and I can’t play a little physical prank? I sent my teacher a very rude meme because of that. Almost got expelled.” She crossed her arms. Tim snickered.

“What?” Dick asked “Why?”

“Prank war.” Tim shrugged.

“Okay, you know what? No more prank wars until you two learn how to behave.” Dick said and pointed at Steph “You are cleaning all the mess you made in his bedroom. And you,” He pointed at Tim, and twisted his nose “Well, you are going to take a shower, and then you’re going to change back all that you messed with on her computer. And,” He kept going “Both of you are cleaning the batmobile after patrol for a week.”

“What? That’s not fair!” Steph complained.

“You’re right.” Dick said, scratching his chin “Okay then, Steph is cleaning the batmobile for a week and Tim can’t use the batcave before sunset and after three a.m. for a week.”

“What?!” Tim screamed “What do you expect me to do all day then?”

“Learn how to function in a healthy way? Anyways, complain too much, I’ll make it a month.” Dick answered.

“You can’t do that!” Steph complained “You’re not Batman.”

“Try me.” Dick squinted.

“Fine!” She threw her hands up, leaving “I’ll clean the stupid room and the stupid car.”

“Traitor.” Tim hissed, walking away.

Then three weeks after that, Batman came up to him in patrol, and, on top of a building, said:

“I need your assistance.”

“Sure. Who are we up against now?” Nightwing asked.

“Not... That kind of assistance.” Batman looked down “Your brothers keep talking in a weird way. I don’t understand the colloquialisms in their language, and I’m almost sure they are mocking me.”

Dick blinked a little under the mask.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I need you to stop them from doing that while we’re on patrol.”

“B, can’t you... I don’t know, you are their dad, not me!” He pointed out.

“But you are the one who gets them under control.” He shot back. They stared at each other “Please. Just while they are wearing the mask.” Dick sighed.

“Fine. I’ll talk to them.”

Later on, when they got back from patrol, Dick felt a little ridiculous having to explain to a bunch of masked heroes that they have to stop communicating in memes and insulting Batman when on patrol. And why it wasn’t okay even if it was to his face, Steph. Damian, of course, was let off the hook on that one. He had just recently grasped the concept of a meme, having declared on multiple ocasions that they were a stupid waste of internet data. Tim was personally offended by all of those declarations.

It didn’t take long for Dick to start correcting the family’s unhealthy habits after that. He had given Cass a “required socialization day”, to be performed at least once a month, Damian had mandatory off patrol days every two weeks, he dragged Bruce to bed every other night, and regulated Tim’s caffeine intake.

Duke was the best enforcer of his rules in the house. Not because he was brutal or particularly persuasive, but because he could instill guilt into the members of the family.

“Hey, Bruce, didn’t Dick tell you to go upstairs and grab lunch?” He asked, going down to the cave to practice. The man grunted as he set down his gym bag “Okay then. I just don’t know how you’ll deal with his broken heart when he sees you haven’t been taking care of yourself like you said you would. I mean, how can you even break a promise you’ve made to that guy? He worries so much about us, it’s-”

“Okay!” He exclaimed, getting up “Okay, I’ll go get lunch.”

Whenever Tim went to get a cup of coffee after seven p.m., Duke would stare at him until he poured the liquid in the sink. He could convince Jason to give up on any idea by saying ‘But what would Dick say?’, or ‘That would break your brother’s heart you know?’.

Duke’s proudest moment was the one time he managed to build up the courage to do it with Cass.

Dick had been telling her for weeks that she needed to rest. That training so much everyday is bad for her health. That she should try having fun in different ways. The man had been (and still kind of is) on a quest to find her a non-lethal hobby. But when Duke went down to the cave once, to fetch his forgotten water bottle, he found her training, and figured out why Dick had a frow on his face earlier.

“You know,” He started, testing the waters “Training so much can strain your muscles.” Cass shot him a look, but didn’t say anything “I’m just saying,” He put his hands up “Maybe you should listen to Dick. I mean, he’s usually not wrong about these things. And he’s been doing it for longer than we have.”

“What do you want?” She asked, annoyed.

“Me?” He placed his hands on his chest “I don’t want anything. I just think you have been working too hard. You deserve a break.”

“I don’t want a break.”

“Well, maybe you should take a break anyways. It would make Dick so happy.” She stared at him, and Duke kept going “You know, he was very upset earlier. Seeing that you have taken his advice would make him smile so much. He really cares about you, y’know? Sometimes, I think we all take him for granted, not realizing how much of his time he spends trying to-”

“Shut up.” Cass said, pushing him aside to climb up the stairs “I’ll take the break.”

Duke smiled to himself. Dick would most likely ask him how did he do it later. He’d smile and say ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about, I didn’t do anything’.

And he rarely ever got into trouble. Considering that the other five had set multiple rooms on fire, broken several pieces of expensive furniture and ruined the house’s plumbing system many times in the past, there wasn’t much Duke could do to be considered trouble. Dick would vent to him about the others and always asked him to report on their behaviours whenever he had to be away for too long.

Damian envied that. He could give much more detailed reports of incidents than Thomas could, and he was ready to die on that hill. Dick mentioned multiple times that this just wasn’t the point, and that if he could go at least a month without threatening to kill one member of the family then he’d consider asking for Damian’s help.

Damian would then argue that he wouldn’t threaten anyone if they weren’t such useless piles of meat with no functioning braincels and irritatingly deficient fighting skills, and Dick would take away his cellphone for the day.

But the moment they realized how much power he actually had was when Alfred started using him as a threat.

“Master Damian, please stop sharpening your sword in the living room. I’m sure you can do this down at the cave.”

“I’m asserting my dominance, Pennyworth.” Damian replied “Drake can hear this from the kitchen and therefore knows better than to continue his attacks.”

Alfred frowned.

“Master Damian, I’m certain there is a better way to handle the situation. I trust you can find that out by yourself, or should I ask for master Dick’s assistance?”

They got caught up in a staring match for a while. And then, the boy silently got up, and went to the cave. Alfred smiled to himself, before moving on to the kitchen.

“Master Timothy, I do believe you have been told not to tease your younger brother in the past.” Tim raised an eyebrow “If you insist on these antics, I will call master Dick.”

“I- um...” The teen started “Okay.”

Alfred nodded, and turned to Bruce, who was entering the kitchen.

“Ah, master Bruce. Will you be joining us for dinner tonight, or should I ask master Dick to call for you?”

Bruce froze and looked at Tim. The kid made a face.

“I will be joining you.” He answered, hesitant.

“How delightful.” The butler said, making his way out.

“Wha... What just happened?” Bruce asked.

“Alfred knows.” Tim said “We’re fucked.”

“Language.”

“Oh, leave me alone.” He shot back, sipping a freshly made cup of coffee “You’re not Dick.”

[dcnatural]

Getway Car

Word Count: 1446

Pairing: Reader x Joker

Rating: Mature

Synopsis: You and the Joker escape Batman, and you make a hard choice.

“Faster! Faster!”, the Joker screamed, his voice barely hearable above the loud noises of the machine gun.

You hit the accelerator, bringing the car to full speed. The city lights became a blur as you drove faster and faster into the night. Behind you, the Batmobile, as well as many police cruisers, followed suit.

Your heart beat loudly in your chest, adrenaline rushing through your body as you maneuvered just in time to avoid hitting a bus. Your partner in crime continued firing, and by the rear-view mirror you watched as the cars crashed one by one: some because of flat tires and others because their drivers fell dead. Either way, soon they were all gone, leaving only the Bat chasing you.

The Batmobile was seemingly bulletproof, and no matter how many times the Joker shot it, the bullets fell harmlessly to the pavement. “Hand grenade”, the Joker yelled,  and you quickly reached into the passenger's seat where the weapons bag rested. Grabbing one of the pineapple shaped bombs, you threw it to him, who removed the ring and sent it flying into a water tower on the side of the road, causing the structure to collapse, flooding the street and, most importantly, blocking the way with it’s massive pillars.

The Joker laughed maniacally, jumping over to the seat beside you and throwing the bag on the floor. “Now, that should take care of Batsy for a while”, he chuckled. His laugh was contagiating and you couldn't help but grin.

“Where to?”, you asked as you stopped the vehicle, waiting for your next orders.

He raised a gloved hand to tuck a loose lock behind your ear, the soft material caressing your skin in the process. “Home, darling.”

* * *

You still remembered the night you first met the Joker as clearly as if it had been just yesterday. You had attended a black tie party, exactly the type of event you hated, but in which your boyfriend, Roman Sionis, just loved to parade you around, like you were the newest shiny prize in his collection. You put up with it, smiling and playing the part of the lovingly girlfriend, just like you put up with his abuse and his lies. You didn't have much choice, even though you didn't love Roman, you couldn't leave, not when he owned half of Gotham's underworld. Leaving him would be a death sentence. 

You had been playing with the diamonds in your bracelet when he caught your eyes: a mess of disheveled green hair, pale skin and purple fabric. He stood out in the gray crowd and you found yourself staring at him with increasingly curiosity. And then you froze. For as you watched him carefully, he turned his face, his bright green eyes locking with yours for a second, before trailing down your body. Then, he smiled and made his way towards you. His presence was enough to scare away whoever it was you had been talking to.

Meeting the Joker was the push you needed to finally leave Sionis for good.

* * *

You parked the car in front of the current hideout, an abandoned toy factory. The Joker whistled blissfully by your side, creating a melody that was terrifying and wonderful at the same time. Just like him, you thought. The factory door opened, and three henchman came hurrying to help carry the stolen goods. You let them do the job, turning your back to the car and entering the building. Even with the furniture you had brought in, it still didn't feel like an inhabited place. The air was damp, dust covered the floor and the windows were so stained almost no light passed through.

"Wasn't that one hell of a night?", the Joker asked, passing an arm around your shoulder and pulling you closer. Your whole body went stiff with his touch. Lately, every time he approached you, you felt like running away. His hand slid down your back, fingers playing casually with the waistband of your jeans.

“Not today, J”, you told him, shaking your head and twisting out of his hold. “I’m tired.”

He sneered, lips curling in a weird fashion. “Always a party pooper.” 

You sighed. “J…”

He weaved his hand, cutting you off. “It’s fine. Go sleep or whatever. I’ll fend for myself.”

You rolled your eyes, hating that he always made a big deal out of nothing. His drama was very tiring. Leaving him in the makeshift living room, you climbed the narrow staircase and made your way to the small space in which you slept. What once had been a control room, now had been converted into a bedroom: the wide windows were covered with purple curtains, the desk and shelves stored clothes and other personal items and, on the floor, laid a double mattress. 

You kicked out your shoes and, not bothering to change clothes, slid under the sheets. The factory was always chilly at night, but this night, it seemed to even more so. You curled yourself into a ball, knees to your chest, chin resting on top of them. You could hear the faint murmuring of the television and the Joker’s laugh coming from down stairs, He’s probably watching one of his stupid old comedy shows. You closed your eyes and tried to ignore the noise, focusing instead on how tired you were. It seemed it took you hours to fall asleep, but when you finally did, you were rewarded with a dreamless night.

* * *

The night you ran away with the Joker was the most exciting one of your life. You felt free, as if you had escaped from a prison. Except that the Joker didn’t care about anything, and you soon realized you had got out of the frying pan and into the fire. You drowned the disappointment of this new life in whiskey and vodka. 

But Roman didn’t take the break-up easily, and, feeling like you had been stolen from him, soon was chasing after you. During the months that followed, there was a waging war between Sionis and the Joker, with hundreds of innocents dying from the cross-fire. And while it would have been much simpler to just hand you back to Roman, the Joker protected you. And you began to think there was something in him after all, maybe you hadn’t been mistaken. Perhaps there was a chance of a better life by his side. The end of the war came only when the Joker shot Roman in the heart.

And then, just like Bonnie and Clyde, you and your new lover raided Gotham, killing and stealing, partying and drinking. Nothing could stand in your way, not the cops and not even Batman.  

* * *

You woke up to an empty bed. Sunlight crept in through the cracks in the wall, making the metal floor glint. You quickly changed clothes and threw the old ones in the growing pile of dirty laundry.

Downstairs, the Joker slept soundly on the couch, the television still on, displaying an old cartoon. Empty beer cans littered the floor, and there was a large bloodstain on the carpet. You avoided looking at it as you walked towards the kitchen, where you prepared a cup of coffee for yourself. You jumped back as a mouse squeaked and ran past you and into a hole in the cabinet. 

You looked around the decrepit place, and couldn’t help but think it was a perfect parallel with your relationship. It was a ruin of what it once had been. There was no saving. And if you stayed, you would go down with it.

Returning to the living room, you watched as the Joker chest rose and lowered with his breathing. Forgotten by his side, the large bag containing the profits of yesterday rested. Not far from it, the car keys laid on a table. 

Taking one last gulp of the bitter coffee, you picked up the keys, leaving the empty mug on its place. Not making a noise, you crept near where he slept and collected the bag, which felt light on your hand. Since there was still space in it, you walked back upstairs and into the room in which the Joker hid his safe. You had seen him opening it so many times that you had memorized the combination. Typing the code, the door unlocked and you shoved as much money as you could into the bag.

You didn’t leave a note. He had to know this day was coming, you had met him running away from somebody else. He had to have seen it coming. You glanced at the factory one last time before speeding away. Not a tear fell from your eyes.

[jasonsthunderthighs]

The New Robin

Summary: Being the new Robin has its perks.

Word Count: 1,180

https://jasonsthunderthighs.tumblr.com/post/189114122524 (the art!)

A/N: I wrote this after getting this GREAT masterpiece @nycterisarts made and I couldn’t miss this opportunity to write it out! This is me as the new Robin (but I placed myself as a 14/15-year-old since I’m technically 22)! Enjoy! (I also wrote this at 4/5 in the morning, so there might be a few (or a lot) of grammar errors and misspelt words in this. Sorry in advance)

A/N 2: I don’t regret making this long. I kinda went out of hand into details, but whatever. No regrets.

A/N 3: So, I have made this to where I am younger than both Tim (17) and Jason (19), cause I wanted to put both of them in this (only a little bit, not a lot.) and this is before Damian was in the picture. 

~~~

Y’know, being the new Robin has its perks; side-by-side the Great Batman, beating up bad guys, having this kickass costume (a little tight on the spandex, gotta talk to him about that later) and just being free from what I normally have to deal with when I’m not Robin and kicking ass.

I mean, my parents are still alive, but they’ve gotten abusive, even after their nasty divorce. My twin and younger brother moved to Gotham with Mum whilst our dad stayed behind. It’s better that way until we got a little bit older and the abuse was more clear. Especially with our dad.

When it got abusive, I had to escape. I won’t say it was on purpose, but it surely wasn’t an accident. I just got sick of the abuse and wanted my twin safe. And when he laid a hand on her, that’s when I lost it. The blood, the bat in my hand, the violence, the police, everything. It was self-defence, so I didn’t go to jail or prison for it. So, we went back with Mum after our last visit. And after that, I decided to run away from the whole thing. I was considered “missing” for a while until they found a young person’s body which I guess Mum identified as mine. 

I don’t care that I’m considered dead. But being a 14/15-year-old, you’d have a tough time getting around without a job. Little shops would hire me, but slide my money under the table so to speak so they won’t get in trouble for the child labour laws here. This went on till I bumped into the Bat on total accident.

It was another late shift and I was heading to my little “house” (if you can call it that) when I saw it. The Batmobile. It was bigger and beautiful in person. I ran up to it, taking a quick peek inside to find it empty. Maybe Batman and Robin were out at that time. I looked around to find the misty streets empty, with the exception of the hollars and gunshots of the city. This city will never sleep with the high-rate crimes being committed. 

“Whatever it is you plan on doing, don’t.”

The deep voice scared me, making me jump five feet up in the air as I turned around to see the Batman himself in the flesh, and holy shit is he tall. Towering over me, I backed up to only hit the car.

“I.. Uh.. I wasn’t goin’ to.. D-do anythin’, Batman..” I stumbled on my words, not knowing exactly what to say.

He looked at me with a concerned look, now noticing that I’m the missing child who’s “body” was found a few months prior to this. “You’re the missing child, aren’t you? The one police thought found your body? Gerard Smith?”

I froze from that name. Nobody’s called me that in months. It’s always been ‘Kid’, ‘brat’, ‘boy’, or sometimes my prefered nickname, ‘G’. I nod in response. “Yea.. That’s me.. Please, for the love of God, don’t tell the police.”

“They need to know that you’re still alive, Gerard. Your mother and siblings were so devastated by this. You need to go back to your family. They care for you.”

I scoffed, “No. They don’t care. All she did was mock and abused me. Just like Tobin.”

“Tobin?”

“Tobin Smith. My ‘Father’. He doesn’t even deserve that title. He’s the one who I defended myself from a few months back.. I will never go back.”

I don’t like being interrogated like this about those people who have given me Hell for the past 14/15 years. I had to leave. I just wish I took my twin and baby brother. I was the one who was supposed to protect them from Hell. But now I’m “dead”.

“You can’t pull this forever. You’ll have to go back to someone.” His voice was deep and filled with worry. 

“I can’t. And I won’t. I appreciate your concern, but no. I am not goin’ back to her. I’ll be fine on my own. And no, I don’t have any other relatives to go to in Gotham, so don’t even ask.”

“There’s obviously no reason to get you to budge on this. Are you at least hungry?”

I shook my head at first, but my stomach growled the truth to his question. Snitch.

“C’mon. I’ll get you something to eat.”

~~~

And that’s how it started. Just his offer of food and the next thing I know it was a big room, comfortable bed, and a better lifestyle with education and peace of mind. 

Until he gave me the outfit. The Robin costume. It was the second-best thing that has happened in my life aside from him taking me in. I was so excited to try it on and getting excited about the whole experience. The outfit held a big responsibility and meaning before I got it. SO much training, so many hours so I can actually help Batman with crime and beating up the bad guys.  It took a year and four months when he gave me the outfit.

“This is the best!” It was so amazing! I felt so free! No worries or cares in the world! Except for obviously keeping in check with Batman himself. And not to bump into anybody in the process of my excitement.

“Whoa, there, Bluejay! Not so fast, you’ll knock out the wrong guys!” Nightwing told me, laughing at my fast energy. Dick Grayson. The first Robin. The amazing Nightwing. He’s an amazing friend and older brother since Bruce adopted me.

I gave him a toothy smile, “I’m just so excited! My first patrol with you and Batman!”

“Calm down, Robin. Nothing to get excited about.” Red Robin’s voice chimed in, and I see him working on the Batcomputer for a case he’s working on for Bruce. Tim Drake. The third Robin. Intelligent Red Robin. I use to laugh at his name cause of the restaurant and even wanted to take him to the restaurant to play with him. But after he saved my ass from Bruce, cause I failed a maths test, I owed him big time and stopped making fun of him, but still sing the tune to him when he pisses me off.

“Where’s Bruce? I’m so ready for this!” I couldn’t contain my excitement and looked at the door when he walks through. 

“Get ready. He’s out there killing again.” His rough voice called out.

I cock my head like a lost puppy, “Who?”

��Joker. We need to hurry. He’s throwing laughing gas bombs in the city. So we’ll be wearing masks to help us not get exposed to it. But stay close to me, Robin.” He looks at me and I nod.

“Yes, sir!” I smiled at him and he heads to the Batmobile, Dick and Tim following suit and walked to their motorcycle. I hopped into the Batmobile, and we all rode off to the darkened city of Gotham for one Hell of a night.

~~~

This is it! If you guys liked this, I’ll post the second part! (I’ve written both parts for the past three days)

[shesquiinnsane-ar]

UPDATED BIOS;

As a precursor to this I just thought to add that both Arkham Origins and A Matter of Family have also been edited and updated. Whilst writing new bios I'm also working on editing older bios as some are probably a couple years old and full of typos I never checked. So that's happening too. All new bios will have my new icon form. I'll try and posted whenever I so update bios though so people know. And now, onto the new bio!

BATMAN NINJA;

This verse will typically be used for any anime/manga characters that Harley may interact with as well as those who simply just wish to explore it. Please note that Batman Ninja is a mash of ideas from the Japan studios. There are lots of anime tropes and plot points that need to be simply taken for granted. 

Gorilla Grodd used a Quake Engine in Arkham Asylum to send everyone back to Feudal Japan, causing a small distraction that landed Batman in that world two years later.. Two years in the making and Gotham’s villains were taking over as Feudal Lords; Two-Face, Penguin, Poison Ivy, Deathstroke, and the Joker with Harley alongside, where all the Lord’s of their state. The Joker and Harley were considered to be the closest to uniting the kingdom to be the one true King of Japan, the Joker was known to be labeling himself as the Demon King. 

The pair first bump into Batman, using Harley disguised as the Joker to tease him as they realize he is now in Feudal Japan. This distraction allowed Joker to engage Batman in a fight, asking Batman to call him Lord Joker as he was believed to be the most powerful man in Japan. After changing into her outfit she met up with the Joker and the Batman after he finished throwing razor-edged fans. To keep the Joker occupied, she poured him a drink so they could instead watch Batman against seven of the Joker’s samurai warriors. As Batman and the warriors fought, Harley asked if they should follow, to which the Joker just sighed with his drink, asking her to simply enjoy the moonlight as they had all the time in the world.

Batman subsequently joined forces with Catwoman as he learned that the secret to going home was in Grodd’s time machine, currently owned by the Joker in his temple. He then learned Catwoman was lucky enough to find Alfred, who was in the Batmobile, and had been maintaining it as best he could for the occasion when Batman was to return. The loud motor roared down the street straight to the temple which Harley overheard, rushing to the Joker to inform him. Pushing open the doors of the temple she shouted at the top of her lungs that Batman was coming. She dropped her knees in front of Joker as she told Joker that Batman was coming in the Batmobile. Trying to demonstrate her point, using a puppet show she told Joker that the Batmobile had passed their gunmen and the canons that were in place to try and hold him back. Then Batman was always so clever with his technology, but Joker believed he was nothing without the Batmobile. Joker demanded Harley activated ‘Arkham Castle’. At first, she protested, after all the castle wasn’t even finished yet, but it had been made for Batman so there wasn’t any time like now to use it. She agreed, and after licking her lips, she clapped with a giggle. Behind the doors that had opened to her command was a piece of the Quake Engine that had been lost to Gorilla Grodd. 

With the castle activated, the temple started to rise out of the ground, as Batman was seen approaching the building. It seemed to transform into a mechanically charged robot in the form of the temple. Batman labeled it a form of madness as the left arm of the mech readied a set of giant throwing stars. Each one was thrown at the road in an attempt to stop Batman from reaching them. The three throwing stars narrowly missed the Batmobile as Batman blew up the gate with a rocket launcher extension to the Batmobile. He was storming the gates and the mech tried to squish Batman in the Batmobile as it plucked it from the ground. The Batman escaped, dropping from the wreckage with part of the car that converted into the Batjet. To Joker though, it was a persistent yet predictable move. With Batman locked on the top floor of Arkham Castle, he was trapped by two prongs, the wings severed on the Batjet, leaving Batman in mid-air. That wasn’t the only trick Batman could pull, however, as dropping the wings converted the Batjet into a Batcycle, a motorbike he used to drive along the arm of the fortress straight into the top room. 

Harley had fled from the floor to drop a trap on Batman. As the right hand of the fortress came crashing down to the ground Batman had to choose; save a woman and child down below, or finally get the Joker. Batman used the cycle to try and crash to the ground ahead of the hand and managed to fight off Bane to save the poor woman. The woman, however, was no more than Harley Quinn and her mallet. With Batman narrowly escaping being crushed to death she had time to perfectly line up her shot before her mallet hit in straight in the face and sent him flying across the floor. Using a giant slide to get out from the tower, the Joker joined Harley on the ground as they were both laughing. Harley noted that it was typical Bats, as he always fell for the same tricks. Joker continued to taunt Batman, as Harley and a few of his armed guards surrounded the Batman. Joker could only wonder what Batman had in store for a second act as he’d destroyed all of his toys now and there were no friends here to save him. A short and worried shout from Harley seemed to change the tides, however, as she pointed behind the Joker and tried to get his attention. Behind him, a huge colony of Bats seemed to fly toward them. During the flurry, Harley tried her best to swat them away with her mallet but it didn’t seem to do anything. The bats aided the arrival of what Harley could only describe as Ninja Batmen. As quickly as they appeared, they disappeared, taking the Batman with them, and leaving Harley and Joker confused.

On a handmade ship, made in the vision of the Joker, Harley and Joker met with Gorilla Grodd. They stood within the bird’s nest to see as far as they could in case anyone should sneak upon them. Joker told Grodd that he wouldn’t kill him if he handed over the Batman and wanted to see where he was. He quickly made himself known as floatation devices were set up in the water which from the Joker’s viewpoint looked like people. Batman told him he was surrounded but this wasn’t going to over that quickly. With a laugh, Joker admitted that he was surrounded as his samurai warriors appeared firing at sticks of bamboo in the water. Harley came tumbling, laughing as she was firing her gun at whatever she could, hoping to hit a few people on the way down. Then she opted to throw a bomb into the waters, which she knew would cause more damage. Batman seemed to shout out ‘no’ but as Harley hit the deck she laughed, what else was he expecting? They knew he’d have men hiding in the water. As she joined Joker, who opened fire on Batman, Batman told them that maybe he would another time, but right now he had a trick up his sleeve. The tiny boat that Batman and Grodd had arrived on rose up to expose a huge underground deck. Despite looking confused at first, the pair still laughed and Joker claimed they were still doomed, opening firing on them again. 

The boat nudged forward, rocking Harley and Joker off balance as the hull of Batman’s ship opened as the Batman Ninja Clan and members of the Batman Family started to attack. Harley was confused, as they’d already killed them all, but the people in the waters were simple decoys to distract them from this new attack. As Harley put the pieces together Catwoman reached out to attack her and the pair started to fight. When swinging her mallet failed to land a hit, Harley took out her gun trying to aim for the Cat, who seemingly didn’t want to be put down. As she continued to fire, Harley was recklessly splintering the boat’s woodwork. She laughed until her bullets ran out which was when Catwoman proceeded to fight back, backflipping over Harley to kick her across her face. 

Soon enough the fight was over, and Gorilla Grodd siding with Batman in the hopes of gaining an advantage. Harley and Joker were subsequently tied together around the mast of one of their sails. Batman was happy to disappoint Joker by stooping ‘that low’ and siding with Grodd. But if Grodd had turned on the Joker, then Grodd would also turn against Batman. Joker didn’t have a chance to say anymore as he had been gagged alongside Harley. In Feudal Japan, trust meant nothing as Grodd used his mind control in an attempt to control everyone on board the ship. Or at least he tried to as the Bat Clan had mastered their bodies and their minds and could not be under the influence of Grodd’s mind control. Now everyone had to prepare to be annihilated by Two-Face as bombs destroyed the Joker’s ship. With the boat in flames, they had the chance to escape from their chains and climb back up to the bird’s nest with a barrel containing explosives. The pair laughed, as Joker told Batman he’d see him in hell before Harley lit the fuse and sent the explosive to the deck. After all only Joker could kill the Batman, he couldn’t forgive himself if anyone else had done it. The explosion destroyed the boat and bats left the flaming embers. Supposedly ending the battle.

There were no signs of Joker or Harley after the explosion. Some believed them to be dead or simply gone. In the fields away from the villages a couple had been found. The male donned green hair, the female, blonde. They had seemingly spent years on a field that didn’t seem to grow any crops. A male in a red helmet, Red Hood, was taken for a monk who was traveling through the region and he asked the couple for a glass of water. The green-haired man happily agreed as the blonde woman walked past him to sort out this water. She commented that the traveler must be exhausted as it was a rather hot day after all. As she leaned over the pot to fill his bowl with water the traveler grabbed the blonde, causing her to cry out, telling her to ‘break it’. Helpless, her man told him to stop, as he genuinely had no idea what was going on and why someone would go out of their way to attack his wife. He was threatening for the blonde to show her true face, or else he’d break her arm.

This traveling monk knew the Joker was alive when everyone else had said he was dead but there was a confusion to his face no one could fake. He questioned why the man was insistent on calling him Joker. Kicking the blonde to the floor Red Hood grew more irritated. The green-haired man ran over to his darling feeling threatened and scared. He even questioned the male’s sanity, as none of the situations made any sense. Supposedly that insinuated the man in the red helmet was stupid, as he was expected to believe that the Joker had taken up farming. Harley covered her eyes whimpering as the pair received a beating from the visiting male. They didn’t understand, their confusion was genuine. As he was assaulted the male continued to deny the allegations, and he dropped to his knees as a bamboo barrel was pointed at his head. Gunfire went off but just scraped past the male’s head as they were rescued by a man in a Bat costume. Supposedly they were both here for the same reason, as reports of foreign farmers in the area matched the descriptions of Harley and the Joker had been found but the couple genuinely didn’t remember anything of their past. They had come to Japan to live a peaceful life and had spent time plowing the fields. 

As the danger seemed to pass the blonde woman had gotten straight back to work when a miracle appeared before her eyes. It seemed like the pair had waited forever for this moment. She shouted for her honey to come and join her, her voice filled with excitement as there was finally a sprout in their fields. They laughed and embraced as finally, they had gotten somewhere, the blonde calling the green male her puddin’ as they toppled to the floor. Batman had concluded that the couple had at one point been Joker and Harley Quinn but had lost their memories to a point where they were no longer a threat. He promised to keep an eye on them and to take them back when the Quake Engine was fully operational but for now, they were harmless and they just had to let the couple be. Things were not quite so simple, however, as the travelers left the couple laughing their euphoria. The sprout that had finally grown was blowing pollen across the field, and over the couple kneeling next to it. This pollen had been created as a trigger to the couple’s memories. The seemingly harmless duo would now once again become the Joker and Harley Quinn as their memories were restored.

A month later, the Joker and Harley Quinn were ready to make their come back. The Feudal Lords; Two-Face, Penguin, Poison Ivy, and Deathstroke were all manipulated by Gorilla Grodd to develop a mechanical structure each which was far beyond the technologies of Japan at the time. Grodd had been setting up the battlefield to take over and become the one Lord of Japan. As the mechs joined together to become one, the party-crashers made their entrance. No one had known that Joker and Harley had regained their status and now they were ready to make a comeback. Throwing a laughing bomb into the hub of Grodd’s machine, a form of knock out gas was sprayed around the room affecting Grodd and Catwoman who was in the hold at the time. Other identical bombs seemed to explode through the mech as floating above in a hot air balloon donning the Joker’s smile was Harley Quinn and the Joker laughing hysterically and spinning around as they declared themselves back! It was out with the old and in with the new as more bombs were dropped on the battlefield as Harley made sure they knew that there were no exchanges or returns. The color bombs covered the mech as Batgliders identified the couple. Batman couldn’t believe it to be true but Joker greeted him as there was no way you could keep a crazy man down. 

The hot balloon crashed through the roof of Grodd’s castle, the same one that had previously been owned by Joker and Harley themselves. he didn’t want to be too late to the party but it seemed he had come at exactly the right time. As Catwoman glared Joker down, she was pushed to the floor as Harley stood on her, whilst wearing a jester hat that mimicked her modern-day attire. She grinned and waved at the pretty kitty. Grodd had taken them by surprise back at the lake in which their ship sank but now it was time for payback. The flower that had triggered their memories, wasn’t too potent yet but Harley admitted that they were thinking of increasing the dosage. The plant had been one Harley had previously taken from Ivy who had the best plants. As the plant seemingly paralyzed Grodd, Harley kicked Catwoman over to join Grodd on the floor before wielding her mallet and taking her place at the Joker’s side with a giggle. Now it was a turn of events Joker intended to take over Grodd’s plan and ejected Grodd and Catwoman from the castle as they were pushed down the slide and sent falling downwards. They were caught by the Bat Clan and carried carefully to the ground as Joker took the central seat and Grodd’s tools to play a few mind games using the mech he had developed.

Activating the full transition, the mechs assembled again. This time, however, the transition seemed more fluid as each of the villains controlled a part of the mech, with Joker’s hot air balloon forming the structure's head. Now they were all serving Lord Joker to take over, and the contraption was better than anything the Joker himself could have created. Chaos ensued as the Bat Clan struggled to withstand the force of the mech and the power it had. He had attacked Gorilla Grodd, injuring him badly. Despite being saved from death, however, there was no telling of his injuries. In return for the said Grodd gave Batman his commanding flute which summoned many monkeys to help the Bat Clan defeat the fortress the Joker was in control of. The monkeys formed a giant structure, a samurai monkey to take down the mechs. In one punch the mech was sent to his needs, which was unexpected but the structure did pick itself back up. 

As the Joker controlled the head of the structure, Harley was left to control the main body. Joker suggested cutting down on the monkey business by greeting the guests with a warm kiss. Pushing down on one of her levers, activated a huge central flame thrower but the monkeys seemingly withstood the heat as only their armor was damaged. The flurry of bats at the Bat Clan’s disposal doused the flames as the bats now enclosed the monkey samurai to take on the form of a giant Batman. Harley pushed down on the lever again, at the command of the Joker, as he told the Batman figure to feast on the fire of hell. The flames had no effect on Batman and with a single punch pushed straight through into the head, destroying the Joker's hub and freezing the machine. Batman opted to take Joker alone as each hero took on their villain to destroy the mech section by section. For Harley, this meant facing Catwoman who had in her opinion, chosen the wrong side to play with. In Catwoman’s mind, Harley needed a good ass-kicking after their previous encounter. 

As Harley intended to go and help Joker, Catwoman almost whipped her mallet straight out of her hands but Harley bashed it out of the way just in time with a little giggle. Catwoman declared it was time for some girl on girl action as the two began to fight. Harley laughed her way through the hits even jumping with intentions of smashing the cat to the floor. As she looked, Catwoman had disappeared but she smirked, throwing her mallet to her left and striking the feline. Trapping her in her grip, using the mallet to help, Harley told the pretty kitty to take her medicine and say goodnight, before licking the woman’s cheek. 

It all seemed to be going well but the monkey army had split, tackling the structure individually to slowly tear it apart piece by piece. As Harley held her grip on Catwoman a shudder throughout the building had caused her to slip, and Catwoman freed herself taking advantage by kicking the jester squarely in the face as she crashed into the wall. Resting her back against the wall Harley tried to catch her breath as she’d been winded by the motions as Catwoman tightly gripped her costume, pulling Harley up by her collar. Catwoman told Harley to keep her tongue to herself as she threw the Jester into the main system causing it to explode and completely crash which was where the Jester remained. Out cold, and hopefully not burnt.

After the fight, the Quake Engine was restored, presumably returning all of the Gotham residents to the present day. 

[megaguardain]

Achievement Hunter Crew: The Bat-Heist, Prologue and Chapter One

UPDATED

After the whole thing with James Ryan ‘the asshole guy’ Haywood, I’ve written him completely out of the story. He doesn’t exist in this universe anymore. Also, I’ve moved the timeline so character’s have changed superhero identities.

Introduction

In a world where superheroes have been around since the early 1900s, no one just robs banks anymore. Everyone’s gotta be taking over the world or enslaving the human race or whatever. But this crew, they’re just wanna rob and steal, not for the money. Just for bragging rights.

Earth-96 is a world where DC characters premiere when they first appear in the comics and age in real time. Batman has been patrolling Gotham since 1939 and the mantle has passed from Bruce Wayne to others since his passing.

Prologue

Earth-96, 2019. Tyler, Texas.

“The Batman was ‘instrumental’ in the arrest of the Joker earlier tonight, a spokesman from the GCPD told us,” the newswoman on the TV said. Shots of a battered Joker, giggling to himself, being loaded into an armored police van while Batman spoke to the police. He was actually shorter than the officers he spoke to.

Batman pressed something on his gauntlet and there was a sound of a roaring engine as something giant barreled toward him. As it got close, the Batman leapt into the air and grabbed onto the giant vehicle.

“Was that a new car?” a newsman asked as the cameraman caught the rear of the Batmobile turning down an alley, ���Or did the Flash just pick him up?”

“It probably was a new car. How many has he got now?”

“Probably as many Robins he’s had,” the newswoman commented as she shuffled the papers in front of her, “Up next, who is this new Green Lantern?” the picture shifted to an amateur shot of a Latino woman in a Green Lantern uniform, “And can we trust her?”

The TV turned off. The man watching it put down the remote and sat up, stroking his lower jaw while in deep thought. He wore a black two-piece suit over a white dress shirt. His sleeves were rolled up, exposing the million tattoos on his arms. After reaching some kind of conclusion in his head, the man smiled and pulled out his phone. He scrolled through his contacts and selected one labelled “Michael”.

The phone rang as he put it to his ear.

“‘Sup Geoff,” Michael answered.

“‘Sup Michael, listen,” Geoff said, “I got an idea for something,”

“What kinda something?”

“A big something,”

“We heisting?” Michael asked.

“Oh yeah. It’s a big one, we’re going to need everyone on this,”

“What’re we stealing? Cash? Gold?”

“A car,”

There was a moment of awkward silence before Micahel asked, “Just a car?”

“‘Just a car?’,” Geoff sarcastically asked back, “Just get everyone and meet me at the safehouse,”

“Ya gotta give me something more than that Geoff,” Michael insisted, “Alfredo probably won’t show up over ‘just a car’,”

“We’re heisting the Batman’s car,” Geoff dropped the bomb.

“Shit,” Michael chuckled after another moment of silence, “Yep. Alfredo’s going to love that. That really isn’t just a car,”

“Told ya,” Geoff smiled, amused with himself, “We’ll go over the details at the safehouse,”

“A’ight. See ya soon,” Michael said.

“See ya soon,” Geoff said, ending the call. Geoff poured himself a glass of whiskey as he looked out the window, “This’ll be one for the books,”

Chapter 1:Unpredictable in a Predictable Way

Earth-96. Gotham City, New Jersey.

The new Batmobile had great soundproofing. Batman could hardly hear the sound of the engine from inside the car. The car sped through the streets of Gotham, everything inside was tinted red from the interior lights. He piloted the car over the Robert Kane Memorial Bridge, leaving the city lights glaring through the smog behind him.

“Dim exterior lights,” Batman commanded, his voice distorter still active. The external lights on the Batmobile dimmed, providing almost as much visibility as if they were turned completely off, “Engine, silent run,” Batman commanded. The engine of the Batmobile fell silent, even from outside the car it barely made a sound. 

Batman’s muscle memory expertly piloted the car down a hidden path off the side of the road, towards Wayne Manor. It rolled down and around, along a cliff face on the coast to a cave entrance that was hidden by a waterfall. Inside the cave was dimly lit by lights on either side of a paved track. The Batmobile followed the track into the cave.

After minute or two of following the dimly lit track, the cave opened up into a large cavern. There were multiple platforms bolted to the walls of the cavern, connected by catwalks, wires and elevators. The track the Batmobile led to one of the lowest platforms, it looked like a shelving unit with multiple cubbies that held various bat themed vehicles. From older Batmobiles to the Batplane, Batcyles, a lot of bat themed vehicles. Batman parked the Batmobile he was driving in the empty spot on the Vehicle Platform and got out of the car.

“How’s the new car?” a voice above called down. Batman looked up to see a man with black hair leaning on the railing of the platform above looking down at him. The man wore a red hoodie with a dark t-shirt with Batman’s logo on it.

“It pulls to the left,” Batman said as he approached the nearby elevator, “And the seat is too big,” he added as he stepped into the elevator. The elevator had no music as it took him up to the higher platform.

“Well, you’ll break her in. And maybe grow into the seat too,” the man teased. He was a whole six inches taller than Batman’s five and a half feet stature.

“I have never understood why you refer to the cars as ‘her’ Tim,” Batman said, ignoring the joke about his height and walking toward the fifteen foot, multi-screen computer on the platform, “Joker’s back in Arkham,” Batman said as he sat down in the large chair in front of the computer. He looked tiny in the chair.

“And his gang is already rioting. Wanting to strike down the government hierarchy,” Tim explained.

“What about Sionis or Ogilvy?” Batman asked as the computer displayed the profiles of Black Mask and Emperor Penguin.

“The False Face Society has been growing. With Joker’s latest stunt, they probably won’t stop,” Tim reported, “Ogilvy seems content with running business from the Iceberg Lounge. No one’s going to try anything big for a while,”

“What about Jason and his gang?” Batman asked, taking his cowl off. Showing that Batman wasn’t actually a man, but an Asian woman with short black hair.

“Cass, I know Jason isn’t your favorite person, but he’s on our side,” Tim sighed.

“He is a criminal, he kills people,” Cass scowled. The computer displayed information about the Red Hood Gang, run by the formerly dead, formerly Robin, Jason Todd.

“So did Bruce originally!” Tim countered.

“Not the same,”

“How?”

“Bruce was wrong and he realized that when he adopted Dick,” Cass explained.

“Well, just think of him as a neccessary evil,” Tim sighed, walking away.

Cass just stared at the computer screens as they continued to scroll through the different gangs of Gotham City and their territories around Gotham. The screens shifted to reports of the Joker Gang protesting outside Arkham Asylum, calling to free Joker.

The next night,

“Everybody on the ground!” a man wearing a potato-brown mask with a hand drawn smile shouted as he fired his rifle into the ceiling of the bank. He wore a brown leather jacket over a kevlar vest and t-shirt.

“Let’s go! Give us the money!” a man wearing a hockey mask that had a pattern with stickers from different tourist traps from around America shouted, tossing a duffle bag to the teller behind the counter. He wore a black two-piece suit under a kevlar vest and held a shotgun to a teller.

A third man wearing a BMX helmet, a Hawaiian shirt under a kevlar vest and white shorts, kept a shotgun trained on a security guard, “Don’t,” he growled when the guard moved.

“I knew it was a bad idea to extend hours into the evening,” the guard grumbled.

“Just load up the cash, we’re not interested in being murderers,” the one in the hockey mask said. The teller loaded bundles of money into the duffle bag.

“Give me the dye packs,” the one in the potato mask ordered another teller.

“Wh-what?” the teller asked.

The man in the potato mask punched the bulletproof glass that separated him and the teller, it shattered into pieces and possibly made several bystanders wet themselves as they screamed, “Dye packs,” the man ordered again, aiming his rifle at the teller, “Now,”

The teller quickly gathered and placed the dye packs on the counter in front of the potato masked man. The robber put the dye packs in his jacket pockets.

“How we doin’ Alpha?” he asked.

“I got the money!” the tourist hockey masked man shouted, taking the filled duffle bag from the teller, “Let’s go!”

The three bank robbers made their way to the front door, they each took cover on either side of the door frame. A sign behind them said ‘Welcome to Gotham City Trust, your money is safe with us!’.

“GCPD should be here any second now,” the BMX helmet man said.

“Good,” the potato masked man said, tossing the dye packs to his partners. The crew had to wait for less than a minute before they heard the sirens. The sirens stopped as they came close to the bank.

“GCPD!” they could hear shouted at them over a loudspeaker, “Put your weapons down and come out with your hands up!”

“They asked us so nicely Bravo, whaddya think?” the potato maked man asked.

“We should give them a gift for being so nice, Charlie,” the man wearing the BMX helmet suggested.

Alpha, Bravo and Charlie opened the doors of the bank and, without emerging too much from cover, threw the dye packs at the police cars parked outside. They landed with audible thuds that the robbers could hear from the bank entrance.

“Grenades!” one of the officers shouted.

“Go! Go! Go!” Alpha commanded. The robbers ran out the door and to the right, travelling along the side of the bank and away from the cops.

“Wait, it’s not a gre-” the dye packs exploded, covering the squad cars and nearby officers in hot red paint and creating a red smoke that flew into the sky.

“See ya losers!” Charlie shouted back at the police as he continued to flee.

The crew crossed the street, avoiding the oncoming traffic that sounded their horns at them, they came into a small alleyway that had an armored four-door car waiting for them. But before they could get close to the car, a shuriken in the shape of a pair of bird wings embedded itself in the car’s hood.

“You guys new ‘round here?” a young voice asked. The crew looked and saw an African-American man on the nearby fire escape, holding two yellow escrima sticks connected by yellow wire. He had yellow helmet with a black visor in the shape of a bat. He wore a yellow and black suit with a black reflective bat symbol on his chest, “Ya’ll should just give-”

The robbers just started firing at him. The young man pressed himself back against the building while the robbers slowly made their way close to the car. Bravo entered first in the driver’s seat and started the car, Alpha sat in the passenger’s seat while Charlie got into the back. Bravo sped out of the alleyway before the young man could stop them.

“We got the Signal’s attention, won’t be long ‘til he shows up,” Charlie said.

“You know what to do if that happens,” Alpha said.

Bravo drove the car away from the bank, several police cars with lights and sirens blaring chased after them. As they weaved through the slower traffic, Charlie rolled down the window next to him and started blind firing back at the cops.

“So, how’s it feel to be back in your home state Charlie?” Bravo asked casually.

“Heh. It’s alright. Never been to Gotham,” Charlie said just as casually, “Always wanted to see the Bat with my own eyes,”

“Well, if this goes right, you’re going to,” Alpha said. Bravo slipped through a hole in a police blockade on the Madison Bridge that led into Old Gotham. As the crew came off the bridge, a shadow passed over them.

“Was that-?” Charlie asked, just before Batman landed on their hood, “Yep! Yes it was!”

“Pull over!” the vigilante ordered.

“You want me to pull over? Okay!” Bravo said, jerking the wheel to one side, causing the car to spin out as Charlie pulled his upper half out of the window. Charlie fired his rifle at Batman, the dark knight flipped onto the roof and kicked the gun out of his hand.

“Shit!” Charlie cried.

Batman pulled Charlie out of the car, but he punched Batman in the gut. They both flew off the car as it sped away, a few police cars shot past them to chase after the other robbers while others stopped to barricade the street. Charlie stood up and pulled off his ruined potato mask, his face was hardly scratched despite having kissed the street at almost seventy miles per hour.

“You’re shorter than I expected,” he commented when Batman stood up.

“Give up,” Batman ordered.

“No, fuck you,” Charlie smirked, putting his fists up in a fighting stance. Charlie ran at Batman, throwing a right hook but Batman was already dodging, he grabbed Charlie’s arm and restrained it behind his back.

“Your friends left you behind,”

“Yeah well,” Charlie groaned, “Still gotta job to do,” he twisted around and tried to punch Batman with his free hand, but Batman caught it and restrained it too.

Charlie shrugged off Batman’s grip, surprising the vigilante, before spinning around to slug the dark knight, but only grazed his bat-ears. Batman struck a space under Charlie’s arm and robber’s arm fell limp. Charlie looked at his unusable arm and gave a one armed shrug, he charge at Batman again. Just as he got close enough to punch Batman, he realized he was flat on his back with Batman standing above him. The last thing he remembers before blacking out was Batman’s fist.

“Cass,” The Signal’s voice came over the radio in Batman’s ear.

“Go ahead Signal,” Batman said as he watched the police take custody of the bank robber.

“Sorry, they got away,” The Signal said, “I lost track of them and they switched cars before I found them again,”

“Understood, we’ll find them,” Batman assured.

Alpha and Bravo drove a beat up hippie van to a warehouse on one of Gotham’s many docks. They had removed their masks already, Bravo sporting a full beard of reddish-brown hair and glasses. Alpha having a handlebar mustache and stubble. 

“You sure Michael’s the one that should’ve been caught, Geoff?” Bravo asked as they pulled into the warehouse. It was pretty sparse inside, not much in terms of equipment or lighting. Two people sat at a crate, one was on her Nintendo Switch playing some game, the other was cleaning a sniper rifle.

“I’m sure Jack. He can buy the time Gavin and Trevor need, and get out without much trouble,” Geoff explained as he put the looted money on a crate they were using as a table, “Everything is going according to plan,”

[diarythebookwyrm]

Diary Watches the DCAU - Christmas with the Joker

And now we’re on Christmas with the Joker, which is both the first time we meet Mark Hamill’s Joker and the first time we meet Dick Grayson as Robin. It’s also…a weird one.

Harley Quinn hasn’t been introduced yet. If I remember correctly, she will be introduced in the episode Joker’s Favor, but I could be wrong.

So we open in what can only be Arkham Asylum. It’s the Christmas season and the inmates are singing Jingle Bells when…

The Joker breaks into the now very familiar “Jingle Bells, Batman Smells”. Classic.

(Also, I’ve just been informed that Tim Curry was originally going to voice Joker, but Mark Hamill then dubbed over his lines. I’m actually grateful for that, bc Mark’s Joker is ICONIC)

…who let the Joker install a rocket in the Christmas tree? Security at Arkham really is awful.

Oh Mark, your Joker is the best thing to ever happen.

Dick wants to watch It’s a Wonderful Life with Bruce. And he makes a deal that if there’s no sign of the joker, they get to have Christmas like NORMAL PEOPLE

“You know, I’ve never seen that. I could never get past the title.” OH BRUCE.

How does nobody ever clue in that the Batmobile drives out from under Wayne Manor? Are Gothamites just crazy unobservant?

…you know what, I’d believe that.

Bruce doesn’t want people to be in the Spirit of Christmas, Dick. He wants to beat up bad guys!

I can’t remember when Dick’s voice actor changed, but this actor is so very chipper. I love Dick, I do, but honestly.

…Dick what is that sweater vest you’re wearing. BRUCE CHANGE THAT SUIT PLEASE. I AM BEGGING YOU.

And Joker has pre-empted all the other shows. Because he’s that Extra. Of course, you kinda have to be as a prerequisite of becoming a supervillain in Gotham.

…okay so. There’s a Santa on a tank. Rolling through the city. Now I have to explain a joke, which I don’t like doing, but bear with me.

So in The Santa Clause with Tim Allen, there’s a scene where Tim’s character Scott is slowly becoming more jolly and such. And his toy company puts forward the idea of Santa on a tank to sell toy tanks. Scott’s response is what is running through my head as I see Joker’s killer Santa Tank:

“well isn’t that a pretty picture. Santa rollin’ down the block in a Panzer! Well kids, I certainly hope you’ve been good this year, because Santa just took out the Johnson’s house! INCOMING!”

Okay. Back to our regularly scheduled nonsense.

Well now Bruce’s suspicions have been validated.

Oh God, the first annual Christmas with the Joker. I shudder to think.

Joker has made cardboard cutouts of Batman, Robin, Jim Gordon, Bullock, the Mayor, Harvey Dent, etc. as his audience I’m screaming.

Bruce how does your computer trace signals? It looks so star trek-y when it does that.

…Joker stole himself a family for Christmas. The…Awful Lawful Family. I’m screaming. It’s Jim Gordon, Harvey Bullock and…I think that’s Summer Gleeson, the news anchor.

How are candy canes efficient gags? I’m very confused by this.

“I’ll bet Batman wishes he had a family just like mine!” …knowing what I know about Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker, that joke becomes a lot more sinister.

Joker has placed bombs on a bridge to distract Bats from finding the “Awful Lawfuls” before midnight. Because of course he has.

He ain’t called the Clown Prince of Crime for nothing.

Aaaand of course there’s the train coming. Naturally.

Of course the Batmobile has autopilot.

Batman, how are you and Robin not just being swept away in the wind? Your capes should act like sails!

At least Robin got the passenger cars to stop. Now let’s see if Bruce can get the engineer in time

I mean, of course he did! This is a filler episode. Nobody dies in filler episodes.

Trains do blow up, though.

…Mt. Gotham? Forreal?

And there’s a giant Jack-in-the-Box to taunt Batman. Because Joker loves his Aesthetic.

I’m sorry, I cannot with “Mt. Gotham”.

More explosions and the cannon is just firing at random into the city. Because, to quote Batman, “Nothing is ever easy with the Joker.”

…Those Joker machine gun automatons are so creepy. If only because they play the same laugh on a loop.

Oh god those radios are enormous, Bats.

“Operation Cause and Effect!”

And Robin just blows up the goddamn cannon. Why couldn’t that have been Operation Blow Shit Up?

Joker and his whole “Mommy Lawful” or “Daddy Lawful” is just so over the top. If he weren’t the scum of the earth, this would be hilarious.

…Betty Blooper Doll…you mean poor man’s Betty Boop?

Laffco company. Of course that’s where Joker is hiding. Oh god, there’s a creepy clown on the front of the building.

I love how long and sleek the batmobile is. It’s my favorite car ever.

Joker’s laugh is so iconic. I’ve watched Mark Hamill do it live, and it’s CREEPY to see Mark (who is usually so sweet) laugh like the Joker.

And the Nutcracker Suite, because it’s in the public domain

Batman showing off his gymnastics skills. Along with Robin, which makes sense. Dick was from a family of trapeze artists.

…why did nobody make a “Batter up” joke when Batman grabbed a baseball bat to take out the model plane—

“They don’t call you Bat-man for nothing!” y’know what, close enough.

Bats, those aren’t snipers. They’re using Tommy Guns. Snipers are a bit more targeted than that.

That is one big teddy bear.

…what’s in that vat the “Lawfuls” are hanging over? It looks hot and red…metal?

Of course Joker’s gift to batman is a cream pie to the face. Because WHY NOT.

That cream pie cleaned up way too easily.

Saved in the nick of time!

Joker is defeated by a…skate. Sure, I’ll buy it.

“Merry Christmas, Joker.” “Bah, humbug!”

And Dick finally got Bruce to watch It’s a Wonderful Life!

Dick: and it is a wonderful life! Bruce: it…has its moments.

Joker singing Deck the Halls while in a strait jacket. Naturally.

So that’s Christmas with the Joker! Next up will be Nothing to Fear! We’ll take care of that later, though.

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #388

Top Ten Things Tim Burton’s Batman Films Did Right

Thirty years ago, give or take, the first Tim Burton Batman movie was released in cinemas (according to Google, its UK release date was 11th August 1989). Everyone knows the story; it was a phenomenon, a marketing juggernaut, a hit probably beyond what anyone was reasonably expecting. I was too young to understand or appreciate what was going on, but for twenty years or more the image of Batman in the public consciousness was intertwined with Adam West and pop-art frivolity. Suddenly superheroes were “dark” and “grown-up”; suddenly we had multi-million-dollar-grossing properties, franchises, and studios rummaging through their back catalogues of acquired IPs to land the next four-quadrant hit. Throughout the rest of the nineties we got a slew of pulp comic adaptations – The Spirit, The Phantom, Dick Tracy – before the tangled web of Marvel licenses became slightly easier to unpick, and we segued into the millennium on the backs of Blade, X-Men, and Spider-Man. Flash-forward to a super-successful Batman reboot, then we hit the MCU with Iron Man, and we all know where that goes. And it all began with Batman!

Except, of course, that’s not quite the whole story. Studios were trying to adapt superheroes and comic books for a number of years, not least because Richard Donner’s Superman had been such a huge hit a decade before Batman. And the Batman films themselves began to deteriorate in quality pretty rapidly. Plus, when viewed from the distance of a couple of decades or more, the supposed dark, gritty, adult storytelling in Burton’s films quickly evaporates. They’re just as camp, silly, and nonsensical as the 1960s show, they’re just visually darker and with more dry ice. Characters strut around in PVC bodysuits; the plots make little to no sense; characterisation is secondary to archetype; and Batman himself is quite divorced from his comic incarnation, killing enemies often capriciously and being much less of a martial artist or detective than he appeared on the page (in fact, Adam West’s Batman does a lot more old-school deducing than any of the cinematic Batmen).

I think a lot of people of my generation, who grew up with Adam West, went through a period of disowning the series because it was light, bright, campy and, essentially, for children; then we grow up and appreciate it all the more for being those things, and also for being a pure and delightful distillation of one aspect of the comics (seriously, there’s nothing in the series that’s not plausibly from a 1950s Batman comic). And I think the same is true of Burton’s films. for all their importance in terms of “legitimising” superhero movies, they have come in for a lot of legitimate criticism, and in the aftermath of Christopher Nolan’s superlative trilogy they began to look very old-fashioned and a much poorer representation of the character. But then, again, we all grow up a little bit and can look back on them as a version of Batman that’s just as valid; they don’t have to be perfect, they don’t have to be definitive, but we can enjoy them for what they are: macabre delights, camp gothic comedies, delightfully stylised adventure stories. They might lack the visual pizazz of a Nolan fight scene or, well, anything in any MCU movie, but they’re very much of a type, even if that type was aped, imitated, and parodied for a full decade following Batman’s release. There’s much to love about Burton’s two bites of the Bat-cherry, and here – at last – I will list my ten favourite aspects of the films (that’s both films, Batman and Batman Returns).

Tim Burton’s Batman isn’t quite my Batman (but, for the record, neither is Christopher Nolan’s), but whatever other criticisms I may have of the films, here are ten things that Burton and his collaborators got absolutely right.

Great Design: seriously, from an aesthetic point of view, they’re gorgeous. The beautiful Anton Furst Gotham, all gothic towers and industrial pipework, is a thing of beauty, and in terms of live-action the design of all of Batman’s vehicles and gadgets has never been bettered. It gives Batman, and his world, a gorgeously distinctive style all its own.

Wonderful Toys: it’s not just the design of the Batmobile and Batwing that impresses (big, bulbous round bits, sweeping curves, spiky wings); its how they’re used. Burton really revels in the gadgets, making Batman a serious tech-head with all manner of grappling hooks, hidden bombs, and secret doo-dahs to give him an upper hand in a fight. It makes up for the wooden combat (a ninja Michael Keaton is not), suggesting this Batman is a smarter fighter than a physical one. Plus all those gadgets could get turned into literal wonderful toys. Ker-ching.

He is the Night: Adam West’s Batman ran around during the day, in light grey spandex with a bright blue cape. Michael Keaton’s Batman only ever came out at night, dressed entirely in thick black body armour, and usually managed to be enveloped in smoke. From his first appearance, beating up two muggers on a Gotham rooftop, he is a threatening, scary, sinister presence. It totally sold the idea of Batman as part-urban legend, part-monster. Burton is fascinated with freaks, and in making his Batman freaky, he made him iconic.

You Wanna Get Nuts?: added to this was Michael Keaton’s performance as Bruce Wayne. Controversial casting due to his comedy background and, frankly, lack of an intimidating physique, he nevertheless utterly convinced. Grimly robotic as Batman, he presented a charming but secretive Bruce Wayne, one who was kind and heartfelt in private, but also serious, determined, and very, very smart. But he also excellently portrayed a dark anger beneath the surface, a mania that Bruce clearly had under control, but which he used to fuel his campaign, and which he allowed out in the divisive but (in my opinion) utterly brilliant “Let’s get nuts!” scene. To this date, the definitive screen Bruce Wayne.

Dance with the Devil: The counterpoint to this was Jack Nicholson’s Joker. Cashing a phenomenal cheque for his troubles, he nevertheless delivered; his Joker is wild, over-the-top, cartoonish but also terrifying. In my late teens I was turned off by the performance, feeling it a pantomime and not reflective of the quiet menace and casual cruelty of, say, Mark Hamill’s Joker; but now I see the majesty of it. You need someone this big to be a believable threat to Batman. No wonder that, with Joker dead, they essentially had to have three villains to replace him in the sequel.

Family: Bruce’s relationship with Alfred is one of the cornerstones of the comic, but really only existed in that capacity since the mid-80s and Year One (which established Alfred as having raised Bruce following his parents’ deaths). So in many ways the very close familial relationship in Batman is a watershed, and certainly the first time many people would have seen that depicted. Michael Gough’s Alfred is benign, charming, very witty, and utterly capable as a co-conspirator. One of the few people to stick around through the Schumacher years, he maintained stability even when everything else was going (rubber) tits up.

Meow: I’ve mostly focussed on Batman here, but by jeebies Batman Returns has a lot going for it too. Max Shreck, the Penguin, “mistletoe is deadly if you eat it”… but pride of place goes to Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman. An utterly bonkers origin but a perfectly pitched character, she was a credible threat, a believable love interest, and an anti-hero worth rooting for, in a tour-de-force performance. Also came along at just the right time for me to experience puberty. If you’re interested. Plus – and this can’t be overstated – she put a live bird into her mouth. For real. I mean, Christ.

Believably Unreal: I used to criticise Batman for being unrealistic, just as campy in its own way as the ‘60s show. But that’s missing the point. It’s a stylised world, clearly not our own thanks to the Furst-stylings. And Burton uses that to his advantage. The gothic stylings help sell the idea of a retro-futuristic rocket-car barrelling through city streets; the mishmash of 80s technology and 40s aesthetics gives us carte blanche for a zoot-suited Joker and his tracksuited henchmen to tear up a museum to a Prince soundtrack. It’s a world where Max Shreck, looking like Christopher Walken was electrocuted in a flour factory, can believably run a campaign to get Penguin elected mayor, even after he nearly bites someone’s nose off. It’s crazy but it works.

Believably Corrupt: despite the craziness and unreality, the first Batman at least does have a strong dose of realism running through it. The gangsters may be straight out of the 40s but they’ve adopted the gritty grimness of the intervening decades, with slobby cop Eckhart representing corrupt law enforcement. Basically, despite the surrealism on display, the sense of Gotham as a criminal cesspool is very well realised, and extends to such a high level that the only realistic way to combat any of it is for a sad rich man to dress up as Dracula and drive a rocket-car at a clown.

The Score: I’ve saved this for last because, despite everything, Danny Elfman’s Batman theme is clearly the greatest and strongest legacy of the Burton era. Don’t come at me with your “dinner-dinner-dinner-dinner-Batman” nonsense. Elfman’s Batman score is sublime. Like John Williams’ Superman theme, it’s iconic, it’s distinctive, and as far as I’m concerned it’s what the character should sound like. I have absolutely no time for directors who think you should ever make a Batman film with different music. It’s as intrinsically linked with the character as the Star Wars theme is with, well, Star Wars. It’s perfect and beautiful and the love-love-love the fact that they stuck it in the Animated Series too.

Whelp, there we are. The ten best things about Burton’s two Batman movies. I barely spoke about the subsequent films because, well, they’re both crap. No, seriously, they’re bad films. Even Batman Forever. Don’t start.

[v01d-ch1ld]

If Bitterness is My Cancer, Fire is My Cure

If Bitterness Is My Cancer, Fire Is My Cure

              Sirens could be heard in the distance, the flames licking the sky, shrapnel everywhere it was glorious! The night was ablaze with fire and screams, and the aching in her head finally eased. The voice was pleased with the current spectacle and Rebecca was in no position to deny it anything if she wanted to maintain basic mental faculties. Her father was laughing just about as loud as she was as she danced while singing “Funhouse” by P!nk. People were running in all directions, cars were crashed in the middle of the road, and another explosion rang through the Gotham night. The violence inspired a new fit of giggles from Joker, Harley, and the Jester. Her new name sealed her fate. She smiled her wider than normal smile and leered at the frightened civilians. She was enjoying this. She was enjoying this. The adrenaline coursed through her veins lighting up her senses, making everything brighter and sharper than before.

             Flames licked at what was her old apartment. She was done with that life and this was the last step in becoming what she was meant to be: free. Her feelings were shallow, and she could only keep up the happy face for so long. Laughter turned to open tears as she broke down inside, the last fragile remnants of her sanity being severely taxed. That was her life. She was happy and now she can never have it back. A part of her was mourning while the other part was laughing.  On her knees, she cried in the center of the chaos around her. The Joker looked on his protégé without emotion as she shed the last of her normalcy down her pale cheeks. He felt almost nothing looking on at the beast that he created mourn the civility it once had. Bitterness was raging inside his heart for the life he left behind, the family he was denied, the love that left him, the child that denounced him, and the God that forsook him. He felt no pity toward the wayward monster crying in the street, only happiness because he took back something that he had lost. She was like a child’s toy to him.

             It had almost been two years since Rebecca went missing and, on this night, she died. There would be no funeral procession, no priest, no coffin, and no grave. She died with the exhalation of breath and smoke into the sky and flames burning her a funeral pyre. From the ashes, came a new being, the Jester a creature of pure pain and malice. There was no sympathy, no feeling, just emptiness, and self-satisfaction. Jester stood up, laughing once more, and got another bomb threw it into another building and howled when it blew, sending debris and broken burned bodies everywhere.

             “Gotham is going to burn tonight!” She shrieked, twirling around. Joker looked on at the spectacle of the monster he created revealing in her newfound power of lawlessness and chaos. He was almost proud in a way.

             Fire trucks came rushing down the streets, screaming along with them were police sirens. On the other side of Gotham Batman was getting a police signal. Arson in the Narrows. He rolled his eyes and turned back to the Bat Computer because he thought the fire department could handle it, but he kept it on in case things complicated themselves. Then the words “Joker” “girl” “psychopath” “advanced civilian casualties”, and “bombs” came in through the transmission and he was set on his feet hard staring the police radio. By now, the Bat signal was up for sure. Damian was out of town with the Titans and had been for weeks. Tim came down the elevator in costume already, but without his mask.

             Tim looked like he hadn’t slept in a century, which was close to the truth. He grabbed his gauntlets, mask, and bo staff from his corner of the cave. After him, Nightwing came down without a word. Things were still tense between them and Bruce, but Dick was at least allowed back in Gotham after Rebecca had been pronounced dead. Dick got on his bike and left without a word. Tim got in the Batmobile proceeded to tap on his wrist computer. Bruce sighed pulled down his cowl and got in the driver’s seat, tearing rubber after Dick. Sometime between the mansion and the Narrows another motorcycle made up the procession to the crime scene.

Jason had been relatively missing except for a few bloodbaths in the last few months but he sped behind the Batmobile and popped a wheelie. The Red Hood looked like he meant business, more guns on him than usual and it looked as though he had procured some new toys. The plumes of black smoke guiding them to where Jester was having her debut bash.

At the scene of the crime, the police and Jester and Joker plus their goons were in what was basically a small war. Joker gas was flying over cars and tear gas came flying back. Volleys of bullets were being exchanged between officers behind riot shields and Joker gang behind cars with gas masks on. Jester was shooting with the advanced precision the tutelage of Deadshot can get you. Her .50 caliber custom purple and green pistols were tearing through the small blockade of officers. Joker was lobbing gas grenades and calculating an escape route, Harley was shooting her bazooka, creating a diversion for Joker to sort a way out of this. The many henchmen were trying to stay alive and watch for the Bat. Officers were unable to get back up due to Joker and company blocking the only route that it could come from due to the wreckage behind them, and they were also scrambling to keep civilians away from the danger zone. Gordon was in back trying to strategize how they were going to take down the Clown Prince of Crime, his Princess, and his whore.

Jim Gordon wasn’t a fool. He knew that there was no way to put this down without the help of the Bats. He just hoped that they would hurry. More and more property was being damaged and more and more officers were dying with every minute. Suddenly, there he was: Batman and three of the four of his entourage.

“Hello, Commissioner Gordon.” Batman greeted his friend. Nightwing was on top of a police car trying to gauge the enemy, Red Robin was calling Batwoman and Robin for backup and Red Hood was loading his guns with rubber bullets, per his agreement with Batman, and putting his hollow pointe magazines in his pockets for safe keeping.

“Thank the stars you’re here. The Joker came here with Harley and a new girl and they lit the place up and then the new girl began to blow up other buildings in the vicinity. She is just as crazy as Joker and extremely lethal. She has been laughing that horrible laugh all night,” Batman looks over to see Jester in near convulsions laughing as she shoots with deadly accuracy, “They have Joker venom gas grenades as well as bombs and we have been doing all we can just to hold them here.” Batman nods.

Nightwing calls out, Jester just disappeared. Then a bullet comes dangerously close to nailing the Commissioner in the head. Batman tackles him to the ground just as Red Hood uses his helmet’s head’s up display to see that the Jester has taken a sniping position on top of one of the buildings that aren’t burning. Red Hood then runs through the burning cars and wreckage to find a fire escape, leaving the others to deal with the Joker and Harley Quinn. This new chick was good. He needed to know how good if he was going to kill her. Switching to his hollow bullets her made his way up the fire escape of a building that was adjacent to the one that Jester was firing from. Making it to the roof he takes aim and fires, but she moves right as he takes the shot, the bullet missing by millimeters. She takes out her .50 caliber pistols loaded with mercury charge bullets. Of the two the mercury charge was the more lethal. Both had exploding bullets, but the mercury fulminate acted like a crystal of pure nitro in the center of the bullet, actually exploding inside the body instead of shattering causing about double the damage of a normal hollow bullet. Jason figured this out when he dodged and the ac unit behind him imploded, almost blowing him clear off the ledge.

“Hey! You have good aim, but I bet you that I’m better!” Jester called to the vigilante hanging off the side of the roof. He pulled himself up and back on to the roof.

“Trust me, honey, you don’t want to put up that kind of wager with me.” Red Hood barked back.

“You’re all bark and no bite, babe, I’ll have you ragged and bloody in five shots. Bet.” She smirked. Tossing her short hair over her shoulder and unholstering her other pistol from her left shoulder.

“You’re on! But don’t say I didn’t warn you. It’s a shame to have to ruin- AGH!” He was cut off by a bullet in the shoulder. The pain was blinding, and he knew that arm was completely out of commission despite the adrenaline coursing through his veins in alarming volume. Switching to his left pistol, he took aim and fired.

             “FUCK! That hurt!” A bullet had caught her in the calf of her left leg while she was trying to dodge. She put a bullet into his thigh and hit behind some scaffolding. The bullet was hollow, so she pulled out what she could and prayed that the rest wouldn’t hit her bloodstream for the next ten minutes, otherwise she was fucked.

             Thunder cracked, and the rain came down in sheets. Drenched and irritated, Red Hood leaped onto Jester’s roof. He walked over to where she ducked and found nothing. Two gunshots, two bullets in his torso. Whipping around at speeds not good for his now busted ribs, he saw only a pair of high heels disappear behind a ventilation unit.

             “One shot left, sweetheart,” he looked around,” and I know that you won’t do it!”

             “Bet,” came from behind his ear before blinding pain and the sound of something shattering. His helmet lay broken on the rooftop. She had hit the butt of her gun right into the crown of his head. Dizzy, he looked around with his gun cocked hoping to get another shot in before he had to retreat. His legs were swept from under him and he looked up to see her with a gun to his forehead. Jason was cocky and looked her straight in the face. He wasn’t scared of death.

             Rebecca was in shock. Jason. Jason. The Red Hood was Jason Todd. Memories painfully burst in her brain, overwhelming her. She screamed and collapsed as her head felt like someone was spreading acid into her neural synapses. Curling into the fetal position she started to wail like someone going through the worst torture possible. For her, it was. She had just tried to kill the last ground she had to stand on. Jester in her brain was elated but she was horrified. She had just tried to kill the last thing she had to love in this world. She was going to go stalk him tonight as she had been for weeks. Just to make sure he was okay. But now she could only scream as memories buried under a year of torture came warring to the surface.

             Jason had no idea what to do. He hadn’t even touched her, and she was screaming her head off. He was pretty sure she was crying. His leg collapsed under him from blood loss, and from this vantage point, he could actually see her face up close. Through the ugly pallor and the dark circles around her eyes and the black lips, he could still see her. Rebecca. No. After all the Joker had done he still was always able to top himself. He made normal criminals look like misdemeanor offenders. This took child abuse to a whole new level. Jason swore.

             “This has to be a trick.” He said to himself

             “It isn’t,” said that horrible voice in the back of his head. It was right no matter what he had found in his years of vigilantism.      

             “Jason! H-help me.” Her voice came weakly through the tears. She curled in on herself tighter. There was no mistaking it. It was her in the flesh.

             “I will. I promise.” He picked himself up off the flooded roof and looked down at the pool of bloody water surrounding them. It looked like a murder scene. He hooked a grapple onto the other roof and swung down, leaving her up there to bleed.

             Jason collapsed on top of the Batmobile. Harley Quinn was inside and unconscious. In a grand show of endurance, he peeled himself up off the hood and limped over to where Dick was ducking from bullets.

             “Dick.” He called softly. It was forbidden to use each other’s real names while they were in costume per Bruce’s rules, but he figured now was a good time to bend the rules a little.

             “What happened to you?” Dick looked concerned for his little brother. He was bleeding through four bullet holes and there was a steady stream of blood coming from his mouth.

             “I-I found her. Rebecca.” He gasped out before he was forcibly hunched over in a coughing fit. “Jester s-she is Becca. I shot her. She’s up on the roof.”

             Dick was flabbergasted. Everyone thought she had been dead for months. It had been two years since she went missing. He and the others had mourned for her. Now he finds out she is alive and bleeding on a roof. He nods to Jason and grapples up to the roof, avoiding bullets from all sides on his way up to rescue his little sister.

             Jason chuckled to himself. His life was such a clusterfuck. Smiling, he heard Tim calling to him as he passed out.

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