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#heroin is a hell of a drug
barefootbaltimore · 2 months
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Aha haha my bio mom is writing on walls in blood. We're all have a very Normal one about this.
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shmingleping · 10 months
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I fucking hate meth, man. It's never given me a good high and usually makes me literally insane. And it takes like shit. And it burns like a motherfuck to mainline like no matter what... a register feels like a miss and a miss feels 200x worse. I've only had I think two shots that haven't felt horrible..... out of like possibly hundreds at this point now. Who even likes coke mixed with meth anyways ? Totally ruins coke imo. I can't taste of the coke (something I love) & the every other part of injecting it that I like (the hearing thing & all that). What's the point dude? It's cheaper than just getting white, sure. But with all that I'm return? Not worth it to me. I want my coke back 😭
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isdalinarhot · 2 months
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Thoroughly smashed, as Dalinar might say
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The Heroin Diaries soundtrack Moodboards : 
Track 1. X-Mas In Hell
Merry Christmas.That's what people say at Christmas, right? Except normally they have someone to say it to.
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tittyinfinity · 1 year
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Imagine everyone is doing lines of coke in the bathroom together and when it comes to your turn someone says "sorry but I heard you're a parent and it would be irresponsible for me to give you this while you're child free and with other adults :/ I just think parents shouldn't do drugs sorry :/"
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diabolocracy · 2 months
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I will never understand vehemently anti-drug people who bitch about tweakers, junkies, and addicts, but then go on to chug their fifth coffee of the day.
Like, my guy... You're probably an addict and a junkie yourself; if not you then probably most people you associate with. Caffeine is a stimulant. It isn't on par with the 'illegal' stimulants, but too much of it can still fuck up your heart and kill you, and society has made that very easy to do with the wide availability of energy drinks.
You don't even get carded for energy drinks, at least where I'm at. It's very easy for some rando kid who doesn't know shit to slam down several Monsters during a gaming session and flop over dead from heart explode.
Caffeine is also highly addictive. Withdrawal symptoms don't suck as much as alcohol withdrawal, but they're still not fun.
You can easily develop a dependency on caffeine.
A lot of people aren't well-educated on the risks of heavy caffeine use.
So why should people who are well-educated on their poisons of choice be punished by some arbitrary laws for using? Why should wanting to try mushrooms or LSD or DMT (which even our bodies produce!) get me in trouble when they aren't even addictive substances and I know what they do and am aware of harm reduction strategies for a bad trip?
If someone can show why they want x or y and show that they are educated on why/how to use it safely, then why shouldn't they be able to?
Because some stiff in a suit thinks he knows better? Puh-leez.
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snonkerdoodledreams · 9 months
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planetary · 1 year
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25 SHOCKING TRUTHS ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE CHILDHOOD TV SHOWS😱
1. POKEMON - ash is in a coma and the show is he's dreaming
2. RUGRATS - the babies are on drugs
3. edd edd eddy - they died in 1962 (tuberculosis)
4. scoopy doo - theyre on drugs too and the dog cant really talk :(
5. rugrats - angela is in a coma and the show is her dream
6. spongbob - songebob is in a coma and the show is his dream
7. spongebob - spongebob and his friends are the christian hell sins
8. spoinegbob - squidward is heroin?
9. COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG - it was real it was all real none of that was a dream or a nightmare everything you remember is real
10. rugarts - angela is on drugs and all the other ones are dead
11. jimmy neutraon - jimmy is weird because he is gay
12. fairly oddparsnts - timmy is in a coma and the show is his dream
13. spongebob - sandy is taxidermy
14. higgly town heroes - higgly town is all cannibals and they eat other people and thats why they do that . how could they do that..? my heroes..
15. max & ruby - they are bunny rabbits and thast because thrre was. an apocalypse and max is a real human little boy but there was an apocalypse and his parents died and he's with ruby but he got hit on the head with a steel pipe because of the apocalypse so now he's in a coma and the show is his dream
16. disney aladdin movie - the tiger head cave is really really scary
17. danny phantom died - this one really happened they tell you in the theme song and you can see it happen in blood and gorey detail if you watch that one scary episode that only comes on at 3am. does anyone else remember that episode
18. dora the explorer - dora is on crack
19. faaiely odd parents - the fairies are drugs and timmy takes drugs and maybe goes into a coma for this reason and maybe has a dream that they're his magic fairies
20. caillou - hes bald. this theoru explains that cailiu has no hair because he is bald. and perhaps his parents are nice to him because he is bald. this could also explain why he has no hair (because hes bald)
21. courage the cowarsly dog - courage is a dog and he's in a coma and
22. the magic schoolbus - its magic because the bus was on drugs and then it blew up (becasue it was high) and they all went to purgatory and clones took their place
23. tom and jerry - tom should have been allowed to cook and eat that baby chick. and its fucked up that the show didnt allow him to. me and my friends watched it and we were all clapping and cheering for him to cook and eat it and we were so excited but of course the writers pussied out and didnt let him do it
24. finding nemo - that thing in the beginning didnt even happen but the dad made that story up so people would feel bad for him
25. sponegbob - in the latest season patrick says "Ok boomer!" to mermaid man and barancle boy
CHILDHOOD = RUINED 😫
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hellyeahsickaf · 11 months
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The way addicts and chronically ill people are dehumanized is so exhausting
The normalization of this shit in medical and casual settings is genuinely mind boggling. Addicts and disabled people go through so much bullshit. I've dealt with many fucked up doctors when I just needed help
I had a kidney infection, some months back. This is always extremely medically urgent, and I was likely only hours from sepsis. I went to the hospital reporting my pain to be a 9/10. 9 because my 10 was gallstones. I experienced severe malpractice at the hospital and the doctor reported exams that never occured and false information while making me wait with nothing more than tylenol to hold me over (didn't touch the pain) and bring my fever down but that's a whole other story
They did however, deny me the pain medication I needed until it was time to go home. I'm deathly allergic to NSAIDS, but that's something an addict might say so they witheld pain relief because they'd rather me suffer just in case I'm a different kind of sick. An entire night, maybe 6 hours in the ER and they couldn't give me anything, not a small dose of morphine or one norco even a few hours prior to take the edge off of the pain while I was curled up shaking and crying. Just in case I was an addict looking for my fix, and my suffering was just withdrawals and good acting. In that case maybe I deserved it and should be denied my humanity. God forbid in that case I'm so desperate to alleviate unbearable withdrawals that I spend all night in the ER crying. Not the first time I've experienced red tape just to get relief from excruciating pain
But whatever. As per protocol I was asked to follow up with my pcp. So a few days later I called to set an appointment, but I'd also run out of norco and desperate to relieve the pain I asked if I could be filled even enough for a few days, until the pain was bearable. I had difficulty walking, laying down, and I again, can't take most pain relievers. The receptionist was nice and understanding, actually got me in touch with the doctor because she wanted me to be able to get my refill. Probably heard the pain in my voice even. She believed me
She transfers me over to the doctor and I tell him I'd like a follow up and ask if he could fill my painkillers. I would've acceped a no from him, I just needed my follow up. He asked about my condition, I told him my diagnosis and how much pain I was in
And he laughed.
Got a real hoot out of it, like he had me all figured out. Like he caught me trying to cheat the system. I must be trying to get high or make some money with a few days worth of norco as i'm nearly in tears from the pain even while calling
He tells me through his laughter "I don't prescribe painkillers for 'kidney infections'" saying it with a mocking emphasis on those words, as if I'd said "stubbed toe". Follows with "Yeah haha, bye." and hangs up on me. No follow up like I called for. Needless to say I no longer have a pcp but truly if he thought I was an addict trying to take advantage of him he should have still treated me professionally. Maybe not cackled when I said my pain was excruciating for a start
I just don't understand why the hell so many doctors can be so apathetic to people's suffering. Addicts deserve better and so do disabled people- whether you think they're addicts or not. The assumption that we're lying, trying to trick them and are feigning pain to do it is disgusting, listening to your patients is so important. And if that were the case they could have some sympathy and ask themselves what it would take for someone to go those lengths, take such drastic measures and go through that trouble to obtain those substances.
Addiction is not a moral failing. Many disabled and chronically ill people unfortunately rely on medications that have addictive properties. About 80% of heroin addicts first misused prescription drugs. However only about 4-6% of those addicted to prescription drugs switch to things like heroin. And instead of help or compassion for people who just need help (addicts or not), they just figure we're one in the same and treat us like subhuman degenerates, leeches on society. And I think people need to change how they view addiction. Doctors need to change how they view addiction
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housethemd · 7 months
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So in the episode where House is on methadone
Everyone is trying to figure out what’s going on with House, why he’s being nice, etc etc and eventually Wilson is just like “he’s on heroin.”
The surety with which Wilson says this really struck me. Like Wilson doesn’t just suggest House must on drugs that aren’t Vicodin, doesn’t even merely suggest House could be on heroin. No he says with absolute certainty that House is on heroin.
The only way Wilson could be so sure, would be if he’s seen House on heroin before.
Now while I’m quite convinced that House was an occasional recreational drug user prior to the infarction, heroin usually isn’t a drug you might take just for fun at a party every now and again. This leads me to believe that sometime in the early days post infarction is the most likely time House used heroin.
I’m imagining Wilson showing up after work to check on House. Stacy left weeks ago and House is still dealing with that on top of healing and being newly disabled so he’s been in a pretty god awful mood that only Wilson seems to be able to tolerate.
But when Wilson gets there House is in a better mood. Not just a better mood, he’s happy. Wilson knows immediately something is going on.
“What did you do? What did you take?” He’d ask. He knows people’s moods don’t change overnight like that, so either House took something or he’s planning to kill himself. Both are equally possible given his recent trauma and mental state, and Wilson needs to figure out which.
“What? Nothing. Well Vicodin but you know I’ve got a prescription for that.” House would reply, waggling his finger in Wilson’s direction like this is all some kind of joke.
Wilson frantically searches through everything within arms reach of House. Thankfully even with his better mood House can’t move very quickly, and Wilson manages to unearth a bag, and dashes out of House’s reach to open it. It’s filled with powder and syringes and Wilson has done enough ER shifts to know what it is.
“No, House. No. How did you even get this?” He’d ask, shocked.
“It’s easy when you know the right places to go.” House would say, not looking at Wilson anymore.
“The right places to… House you can barely get from the couch to the bathroom how the hell did you get this?”
“I guess I was sufficiently motivated.”
And Wilson’s heart breaks. He doesn’t have it in him to be mad at his friend. His life is upside down and House has never been good with change. Wilson does throw away the needles and flush the drugs and it pisses House off (“Do you know how much I paid for that?”) but once House calms down he makes House swear never again, that he won’t go down that road. Wilson says he’ll do anything, even write him more Vicodin prescriptions if he just promises not to use heroin again.
And House promises.
So when House is suddenly in an unexplainably good mood years later, Wilson thinks he knows exactly what’s going on. He’s angry, House promised. Wilson held up his end of the deal for the most part, so he comes up with a plan to catch House and make him admit to it.
But we all know how that plays out.
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doctorbitchcrxft · 3 months
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Emotions | Sam Winchester x Angel!Fem!Reader
Pairing: Sam Winchester x Angel!Fem!Reader
Word Count: 5521
Warnings: mentions of drug addiction, mentions of smut (MDNI this is an 18+ blog), mentions of iffy family dynamics
A/N: For this nonnie! I have a very deep love of music and a special connection with it, and pretty much all of my one-shot fics are gonna be titled after songs. If you'd like to connect with the music as well, here's a few songs I recommend reading while you listen to the chapter!
Emotions by Brenda Lee
In the Still of the Night by the Five Satins
Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene by Hozier
Snow Angel by Renee Rapp
Queue up on Spotify or your preferred streaming service, and happy reading!
General Writings Masterlist
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Humans were curious. The more time you spent with them, the more you couldn’t understand why your father loved them so much. However, one human was beginning to pique your interest. His name was Sam Winchester. 
Your brother Castiel had been charged with rescuing Sam’s brother, Dean, from Hell. However, Zachariah had not given the word to begin the mission just yet. You, though, were charged with the care of Sam Winchester. 
He became interesting for a number of reasons. The Winchester boys had been of special interest to all of Heaven since their mother died in Azazel’s attack. You’d known of his existence and watched from afar as the sweet, intelligent young man became a cold shell of who he once was while his brother suffered in Hell. The demon Ruby— who you would be sure to kill as soon as you could get your hands on her— had been getting Sam addicted to the potent substance that was demon’s blood. If you had to compare it to a human drug, you’d heard many angels say it felt like a heroin addiction. 
Despite your disinterest in most of humanity, you were more compassionate toward them than most of your brothers and sisters. While some, like Uriel, were ruthless in their method to get humans on their side, you always took a more “humane” approach. No matter how many times humanity had broken your heart through their horrible mistakes leading to death and destruction, you still tried to show each human compassion. 
You watched from afar as Sam began to learn to exorcize demons with his mind. The experience was undoubtedly painful, and your anger with Ruby grew with each passing day. Always keeping your distance, though, because you knew now was not the right time to step in. Zachariah would give you the word when it was. 
You followed Sam down a darkened, busy street, keeping just far enough back that he wouldn’t be able to see you. He turned the corner onto what you assumed was another street, and you foolishly followed. Suddenly, you were pinned to the wall with a demon’s knife at your throat and an angry Sam staring down at you. 
“Who the hell are you?” the man spat, pressing the tip of the weapon into your throat forcefully. “Why are you following me?”
“Hello, Sam,” you said calmly. “My name is (Y/N). I’m here to help you.”
He scoffed. “What? Another demon coming to peddle your wares? I don’t think so.” The brunet stepped away from you and tried to exorcize you with his powers. 
You just remained still, large doe-eyes looking at him with a small smile playing on your lips. 
Sam then appeared scared. “What— What are you?”
“I’m an angel,” you replied evenly.
He laughed. “Right. C’mon, what are you really?”
You unfurled your large, beautiful wings and called upon a clap of thunder to ensure the shadow would be cast on the wall behind you. “I told you. I’m an angel.”
Sam shook his head. “I don’t believe this.”
“What’s wrong?” you asked. “Why are you angry?”
He spun around to face you. “Why am I angry? My brother’s been dragged to Hell, and you’re asking me why I’m angry?”
You continued to look at him in confusion. 
“I prayed. Every day for the last year Dean was alive. Why didn’t one of you answer?” he finished.
“It wasn’t the right time,” you explained. “Father wouldn’t allow us.”
“Well, fuck all of you guys, then,” Sam spat.
You were intrigued and confused by his intense anger. “Your prayers are being answered now. Isn’t that all that matters?”
“Too little, too late,” he replied. “Now, leave me alone.”
You stared after him as he walked away. Didn’t he want your help? Why was he angry at you when you were simply obeying your father? His prayers were being answered, and he was cruel to you.
That should have enraged you. However, it only intrigued you even more.
***
You knew Sam had not told Ruby he’d seen you, which surprised you. Everything about this man was surprising you.
While his addiction to demon blood was horrific and disgusting to you, you were surprised how much… empathy, you believed the feeling was— you were starting to feel for him. He’d undoubtedly been manipulated by the demon into that state of being.
His incredible strength both physically and mentally was impressive. While he wouldn’t last a moment in a fight with you or any of your brothers and sisters, he was skilled in many different athletic pursuits. His interest in different philosophies was curious to you as well; most humans you'd come across were set in their ways with no interest in different points of view.
After your last conversation with him, you decided not to intervene unless he desperately needed you. And now, he desperately needed you.
Ruby had either knowingly or unknowingly sent him into a death trap. While Ruby conveyed she believed only two demons to be hiding in a warehouse, an entire lair of at least thirty laid in wait for the young man. You knew you’d have to get involved this time, no matter if Zachariah approved or not.
You watched from the skylights of the darkened warehouse as Sam crept around with Ruby following closely behind. Your father willing, you’d slit her throat with her own knife.
You could see the other demons beginning to creep in around Ruby and Sam. Sam was the first to notice something was wrong and spun around to face the demons behind Ruby.
You used your powers to appear behind a wire rack covered with boxes to have the element of surprise with the demons.
“Hey there, handsome,” one of the demons was telling Sam.
Another snarled, “And Ruby. I thought Lilith got rid of you.”
“Apparently, she didn’t do a very good job,” replied Ruby.
The demons had Sam and Ruby back to back as they closed in their circle around the two.
Taking out your blade, you stepped out into the dim light, heels clicking across the floor. All of the demons turned around to face you, as did Sam and Ruby.
“Wow, Ruby. Seriously? You’re working with an angel?” a demon snickered.
You didn’t allow any of the demons a chance to get another word in. You appeared behind the demon who had the nerve to speak up and plunged your blade through its vessel’s back.
A few of the demons tried to escape by fleeing their bodies, but you forced them back in. While you were compassionate, merciful would not be a word used to describe you. When you were crossed, you didn’t play nicely. 
A few demons tried to charge you, and you immediately reached out to two, grabbed their hands, and killed them while you used your free arm to plunge your blade through the other’s chest. With, in all honesty, very little effort, you managed to make your way through most of the demons. With the mess of dead bodies sprawled across the concrete floor, it made it easier to see what was left for you to deal with. That was when you noticed Ruby was gone, but Sam was still there, fighting demons with his demon knife. 
A demon behind Sam was preparing to stab him in the back, but you threw your angel blade through the demon’s throat just in time to save Sam. 
Slowly but surely, you made your way through the remaining demons. Sam panted from exhaustion and the few wounds he’d sustained but still stood with his shoulders squared. “I didn’t need saving,” he huffed.
“I don’t mean to offend you, but yes, you did,” you replied evenly. “I will admit, I’m disappointed your demon friend left so soon. I was looking forward to formally introducing myself.” 
Sam laughed, somewhere between mocking and a genuine laugh. “You were gonna kill her, weren’t you?”
“Without hesitation,” you nodded. “I know what she’s been doing, Sam. I know what you’ve been doing.” 
“I really don’t think that’s any of your business,” he said, his voice cold. 
“It is my business.”
“How?”
“Angels are only sent to earth for their missions; unless they’ve fallen,” you explained. “Like I told you before, you’re my mission.”
“And like I told you,” he sneered, “not interested.”
“I don’t understand,” you stated. “Isn’t this what you wanted? I’m answering your prayer. I thought you’d be happy.” 
“I told you; too little, too late—!”
“I’m not talking about the prayers for your brother anymore, Sam,” you cut him off. “I’m talking about your prayers for yourself.”
That seemed to quiet him down.
“I heard you. The first night you drank demon’s blood, you prayed. That was when I was assigned to you,” you told him. “Some of the angels believed you were too far gone. I, however, was the one to ask my superior if I could help you.” 
Tears welled in Sam’s eyes. “Why would you do that? Why wouldn’t you save Dean?” 
“I wanted to,” you admitted, not quite understanding why you were spilling your secrets to a human.
He got angry again. “Why didn't you?!”
You tilted your head, eyebrows furrowing. “It is not my place to question my superiors. I serve Heaven first; not you.”
“Well, find some other way to serve Heaven. I’m not interested,” he grumbled, turning away. You noticed how painfully he rolled his shoulder.
“I can fix that for you,” you said, stopping him in his tracks. 
“What?” Sam turned back around.
“Your arm.” You nodded in its direction. “And those gashes. They look like they’ll get infected if you don’t let me help you.” You stepped toward him, and he remained still.
His impressive stature was incredibly intimidating to you despite your angelic status. You had never felt such a feeling; only when you were in the presence of the archangels. Whatever this feeling was, you didn’t think you liked it.
“May I?” you asked, hesitantly reaching your fingers out toward his arm. 
Sam nodded, face drawn into hard lines.
You closed your eyes as you touched his shoulder to concentrate on sending your healing powers through his body. You didn’t miss the way his muscles tensed momentarily before relaxing under your touch. 
“Thank you,” he said. 
You nodded. 
Sam hesitated for a moment before asking, “ What’d you say your name was?”
“(Y/N),” you responded.
***
You watched through the window of the cabin he was hiding in as Sam fought with Ruby over you. You expected Ruby to be angry, but you didn’t expect Sam to defend you. 
“She’s an angel, Ruby, she’s not here to hurt me,” Sam said, crossing his arms over his chest. 
“You don’t know angels, Sam. I do. They’re not the peaceful hippies the Bible makes them out to be,” Ruby snapped. “If she knew I was helping you, she’d probably smite me.”
“She does know,” Sam replied, almost too quietly for even your enhanced hearing. 
“What?! You told her?!”
“No, I didn’t, I—” Sam cut himself off, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “She just knew, somehow.” 
Ruby clearly didn’t believe him. “Somehow,” she scoffed. “And somehow, I don’t believe you.”
“Whatever,” Sam huffed. He suddenly caught your eye in the window but covered it up by quickly looking back to Ruby. “I think you should go.”
She crossed her arms. “Seriously?” The demon rolled her eyes and began to walk toward the door. “Goodbye, Sam.”
You invited yourself into the room. “Is she gone?” you asked Sam, appearing in front of him.
“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, she’s gone.”
“Your motivations confuse me, Sam Winchester,” you stated bluntly.
He seemed to chuckle genuinely. “Why?”
“Do you not believe Ruby to be helping you? It seemed you couldn’t stand the sight of me less than twenty-four hours ago. Why would you kick her out after all that and cover for me?” you asked, head tilting in confusion.
You knew you weren’t supposed to question. You knew Sam was simply an assignment; there should be no desire for further questions exchanged. However, a nagging force in the back of your mind refused to let those questions remain internal.
“I don’t know,” he responded, seemingly earnest. 
Suddenly, a song began to play in the background. Your head turned to the source of the sound; a peculiar little box with a spinning disc on top of it. You swayed to the soft music emanating from it. “What is this?” you asked.
“Music,” Sam replied from behind you.
You turned to face him. “I know what music is, Sam. What is the little box?”
“A record player,” he replied, much closer to you than he had been when you first turned to the sound of the music.
“And what is this song?” you asked, dewey eyes shining in the dim light.
“Uh, one of the records they had in this old cabin. I think the band’s The Five Satins. ‘In the Still of the Night’,” he explained.
“I think I like this song,” you said, your voice taking on a peculiar lilt you’d never heard yourself speak with before. You suddenly realized how close Sam was to you and backed away. “Well, if you need anything,” you began, “I am never far from you.” And with that, you were gone.
***
“(Y/N)?” you heard Sam praying. “(Y/N), uh, I don’t know if you’re listening—”
With a quick flap of your wings, you appeared in front of Sam in his cabin. “I am,” you replied. 
“Oh, hey,” he snorted. He sat on the edge of his bed, rubbing his hands together and staring at the floor.
“What’s wrong?” you asked. 
“I don’t know what the right thing to do anymore is,” he admitted. Sam was suddenly embarrassed by what he’d said. “Uh, I don’t know why I said that…”
“Do not be embarrassed. I do not pass judgment on humans for their feelings,” you replied. 
That pulled a small smile from him. “Do you guys… not have feelings?”
“No,” you replied. “At least, I don’t think we do. Or, perhaps, what we experience as angels is too complex to be simplified into human emotion.”
“What do you mean?” he asked. 
“I believe I may experience compassion, but I am not merciful. Those two traits I have seen go together in human manifestations. My loyalty to my father is incomparable to any human form of loyalty. Most humans I have come across sacrifice their loyalties quite easily,” you explained thoughtfully. 
“And by your father, you mean, God?” he asked. 
You nodded. 
Sam hesitated before asking his next question. “What’s he like?”
His question caught you off-guard; it wasn’t something you’d thought about before. “Well, humans describe him as—”
Sam shook his head. “I know what people make him out to be. What do you say?”
That question startled you even more, and all you could answer with was the truth. “I haven’t met him.”
Now, it was Sam’s turn to be caught off-guard. “Really?”
You nodded. “I’ve been around just about as long as the planet, and I’ve never met him once.”
Sam considered for a moment. “And you’re still loyal to him?”
“Well, I don’t necessarily have a choice in that matter,” you replied. “I am an angel. I was created for the purpose of my loyalty to my father and carrying out his missions.” His questions were beginning to get under your skin, and you’d never thought so long about those things before. 
“Well, how do you know your orders come from him if you’ve never met the guy?” Sam continued to press. “How do you know somebody’s not lying to—”
“My brothers and sisters would never lie to me,” you cut him off. Perhaps this is what “offense” felt like? “I don’t believe lying to be something we are capable of.”
Sam took a deep breath and flexed his eyebrows. “Whoa, didn’t mean to strike a nerve, there.”
He did. “You didn’t,” you responded. 
A spell of silence was cast over you. 
“What’s it like?” Sam asked. 
You tilted your head in confusion. 
“That blind faith,” he embellished. “How do you do it?”
You shook your head. “I don’t know. I just always have. I am a Seraph; I believe ‘blind faith’ is my purpose.”
“Oh, seraphim’s a real thing? Are you guys the, uh, high-rankers?”
You nodded. “I don’t think of myself in terms of my rank, but I am superior to those in my garrison. My superior is Zachariah; the only one of us in direct communication with the archangels.” You felt yourself snap out of it. “I… don’t know why I told you that.”
“Well, I guess we’re even then,” Sam smiled. 
***
You began to see less and less of Ruby as days went by, and for that, you were grateful. It seemed she was only around for Sam to feed from her.
“What does she say the demon blood will do for you?” you asked Sam, sitting beside him on the edge of the cabin’s roof.
Sam gave you a curious look but answered your question anyway. “It’ll make me strong enough to kill Lilith.”
“And… why do you want to do that?” you asked trepidatiously. 
He answered your question quite blankly, staring ahead. “Revenge. For my brother.”
You nodded. “And what do you believe getting revenge will do for you?”
That seemed to challenge him. “I don’t know.”
“I have been with you since you were young, Sam. I watched you go off to college, I watched Azazel kill Jessica, and I watched every fight between you and your father.”
Sam turned his head toward you as you talked, a pensive look on his face. 
“And I think I decided that all of those fights between you two happened because of how similar the two of you are.” You turned your head toward him, the sunset casting a heavenly glow across Sam’s face. “This is one of those things you two have in common; vengeance. I cannot decide if that’s a good or a bad quality, if I’m honest.”
Sam huffed out a small laugh. “That’s fair.” His hair fell in front of his eyes as he looked down at his hands folded in his lap. His eyebrows drew together, and you just watched him carefully. “You’ve never wanted payback? Not even once?”
You shook your head. “That’s not part of my job. I am a warrior, but I don’t feel emotional attachment to my fights. And, rationally, I know revenge is pointless. It doesn’t change the past. It can only make for a worse future.”
Sam was silent for a moment. “Wow. For a… shiny, hard, plastic, emotionless angel, that’s pretty profound.”
You tilted your head in confusion. “I am not plastic or shiny.”
He laughed. “No, you’re not. Just an analogy.”
“You humans and your words,” you sighed. “The English language is by far the most confusing.”
“Why do you say that?” Sam chuckled. 
“I speak every language ever created, Sam,” you explained. “Even Enochian is simpler than English.”
The young man laughed. “For an angel, you’ve got a good sense of humor.”
You tilted your head. “I didn’t know I did, but thank you.”
***
It had been about three months since Dean’s sentencing. The angels began to talk about how he’d said “yes” to Alistair and was beginning to torture other souls in the pit. However, you knew it was best not to bring that fact up to Sam. 
The brother in your care was still not doing very well. His addiction was getting worse, and his anger at himself for not being strong enough to take care of his most recent demon hunt. You watched through the window as Sam and Ruby shouted at each other, and their anger eventually devolved into Ruby kissing Sam. 
You were stunned, and something you’d never felt before flooded your chest. Whatever this feeling was, you hated it. You backed away from the window you’d become accustomed to staring through and walked off. You felt your vessel stumbling rather than walking, and you were unsure why your chest hurt. You stumbled through the night forward against a tree and held yourself there. 
Whatever was happening to you, one thing was for sure that you could no longer deny: you were beginning to feel.
***
A few days went by, and you hadn’t seen Sam. In fact, you refused to answer his many prayers. He begged you to come to him and told you he didn’t know what he’d done wrong. Eventually, your resolve broke. 
“Hey,” he said, standing from his chair and seeming startled by your appearance. “Wh— Where’d you go? Why didn’t you answer?”
“Why did you have sex with Ruby? Didn’t you know I was watching?” you asked, large eyes holding a pleading innocence. 
Sam seemed caught off-guard. “(Y/N), I haven’t had sex with her in weeks. Wh— Why do you care about that, anyway?”
“I saw you two. She kissed you. I know what comes after that, Sam, I’ve been around for thousands of years,” you continued. 
Sam shook his head. “She kissed me. And then, I pushed her off. I haven’t seen her since.”
You tilted your head. “Why did you do that?”
“ ‘Cause. I couldn’t do it,” he shrugged. 
“Why?”
“ I’m not into voyeurism,” he smirked. “I knew you were watching. I haven’t had sex with her since you showed up.”
You thought for a moment, realizing he was telling the truth. “Oh.” Was this feeling… relief?
Sam gave you a curious look, and you averted his gaze. “Why’d you wanna know?”
You shook your head. “Not important. How have you been these last few days?”
“Honestly?” He scratched the back of his neck. “Not good. The addiction… it’s, uh—”
“Bad?” you asked. 
“That’s putting it lightly.”
“I’m sorry,” you told him. 
“ ‘S not your fault,” Sam shrugged. 
“That is much different from what you told me when we first met,” you said. 
Sam snorted. “Yeah, I was angry then. Now, I know you.”
Your heart fluttered in your chest, and you were surprised at the feeling. 
***
You hummed the tune of “In the Still of the Night” by the Five Satins, a song that Sam had introduced to you. 
The man in question sat at the cabin’s kitchen table hunched over his laptop. Sam had suggested you come inside with him since you’d be keeping an eye on him anyway. You told him if Ruby came, you’d kill her, but he just shook his head. “If she knows you’re here, she’s not coming,” he’d told you. 
“You’ve got a pretty voice,” Sam commented. 
You stopped humming. “Thank you. When the cherubs in my garrison were young, they liked when I’d sing to them.” You resumed your song. 
A few minutes went by before Sam spoke up. “Can I ask you something?” 
You stopped humming again and nodded. 
“Why haven’t you gone after Ruby yet?”
Before you could think, you answered, “Because I knew it would upset you.”
A small smile tugged at the corners of Sam’s lips. “I appreciate that.”
You smiled in response. 
“That’s the first time I’ve seen you smile,” Sam told you. 
You continued to stare at him with your dewey doe eyes. 
“Can I ask you something else?” 
You nodded again.
“Whose body are you in?” he asked. 
You hummed as you thought. “I’ve been with her for centuries. She was being abused by her husband and begging for a way out. You see, angels have to get consent from their vessels. She wanted me to use her body to carry out my father’s mission.”
Sam nodded. 
“I quite enjoyed her company,” you continued. “I’ve never told any of my brothers or sister about this, but the day her soul moved on was the first time I ever felt something like… sadness.”
“So, angels, is it like demons where the vessel’s soul takes a back seat?” Sam questioned, his interest seeming very genuine. 
You shook your head. “Not with her, it wasn’t. She could force me out whenever she wanted, but she told me she preferred my company to that of her husband’s.”
Sam nodded but seemed pensive. 
“What’s wrong?” you asked.
“Nothing,” he replied. “It’s just… It’s a lot to take in.”
“I can understand that.” You paused for a moment. “I don’t think I’ve ever spent this long in the company of a human; aside from my vessel.”
“Really?” Sam asked.
You nodded. “I was taught not to spend time with the humans I was charged with. We were always told that the more time you spend with them, the more you become like them. And if you’re a human, you are flawed. You can’t  truly live in service of my father while human.” 
“That sounds kinda fucked up though, (Y/N),” Sam told you. “I mean, don’t you think it’s… restrictive? Limiting?”
You considered. “I guess so. But… I’m sure my father had good reason. He wouldn’t try to hurt us.” 
“I don’t think he would, either,” Sam told you. “But I do think he did that for self-serving reasons.”
You stared at him, waiting for him to elaborate. 
“He creates these… beings— you and the other angels— to bend to his every whim. Think about it. He makes you emotionless, so you don’t question his ‘will’ or… rebel,” Sam explained. “He needs you to be perfectly loyal.”
Sam’s words swirled around in your head. “You’re confusing me,” you said, breath quickening.
Sam shook his head. “I’m not trying to. But you’re smart. I’m just trying to make you think.”
“No human has ever challenged me the way you have,” you responded. “I appreciate it.”
“You do?” He seemed genuinely surprised.
You nodded. “I’ve been around a very long time. Things can get monotonous. It is… refreshing to meet someone like you.”
The corners of Sam’s lips turned upward.
The two of you went back to silence, and suddenly, Sam was up and running to the bathroom.
“Sam?” you asked, running after him.
When you got to him, he was hunched over the toilet bowl vomiting. 
Hesitantly, you reached toward him and began to rub small circles over his back. You remembered your vessel telling you that’s what she’d do to her children when they were sick. 
“It’s okay,” you said softly. “I’m here.”
When Sam was done, he slumped to the floor, curling up into a ball. Sweat covered every inch of his body, and he began to shake feverishly.
You knew it was the withdrawals from the blood after not seeing Ruby for days. You wanted nothing more than to help him through it, but your healing powers couldn’t assist with demonic workings of any kind. What you could do, though, is put him to sleep. You ran your hand over his hair and got up from the floor.
After grabbing a blanket off his bed, you brought it back to the bathroom and sat back down beside him. When you’d tossed the blanket over him, you helped Sam rest his head on your lap. Then, you went back to running your hand over the brunet’s hair and used your powers to put him to sleep. His shaking subsided, and his breathing relaxed. You stayed with him through the rest of the night.
***
When Sam woke up laying against you, he immediately seemed embarrassed. He jerked back from you. “Oh, uh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s okay,” you said. “It’s what I’m here for.”
Sam leaned forward hesitantly. He kept pausing as his face got closer to yours, seemingly to ensure you weren’t uncomfortable.
Uncomfortable wasn’t quite the word you’d use; there were a million thoughts running through your mind. And yet, you couldn’t string one coherent sentence together. 
You tilted your chin up, and it was all the confirmation Sam needed. His kiss was gentle when he first connected your lips. You responded, almost completely frozen, but still moving your lips in time with his.
Sam’s kiss got more desperate, and he pulled you across his lap, wrapping his large hands around your hips and back. 
And then, he was gone. You were confused only momentarily as you became aware of Zachariah’s presence in front of you.
“I know what you’ve been doing, (Y/N),” Zachariah chastised. 
You hung your head in shame. “I’m sorry, Zachariah. I let myself get too close to Sam Winchester, and—”
Zachariah cut you off. “Yes. You did. I’m disappointed in you.” He stalked around you, his multiple sets of wings encircling and taunting you. “You were one of my best, (Y/N). And now, I’m going to have to let you go.”
Your eyes widened, and you looked up at your superior. “Wait, please! I’m sorry!”
He patted your cheek. “I know you are. But you turned your back on us, (Y/N). You turned your back on our father.”
Tears welled in your eyes. 
“Ah! That. That, right there.” He caught the tear on his first finger as it slipped down your cheek. “Feeling. Feelings are human. You’ve changed, my dear sister.” 
“I’m sorry,” you cried softly. 
“I told you that Sam Winchester is a lost cause. I knew something like this would happen, but you? You didn’t listen. Goodbye, sister.”
And with that, you were sent barreling down to earth. The fall was incredibly painful; your wings feeling like they were being burnt off your body, each feather leaving ripples of searing heat in its wake. 
Nothing could stop you barreling toward the earth. The speed of your fall began to take a toll on you, and your vision faded to black. 
***
You woke up flat on your back in the middle of nowhere. Your limbs ached, and your vessel’s body was undoubtedly broken. Using your weakened powers, you healed your body enough to be able to stand. When you’d gotten your wits about you, you would heal yourself completely. 
You walked through the woods you’d landed in the middle of. The morning sun was still rising, the birds chirped, and light streamed through the trees. All at once, the reality of your situation hit you, and you cried.
You cried for your brothers and sisters you’d never see again; very few ever came to earth. You weren’t sure how you’d get to Sam without your wings, but you needed to see him. This feeling of need was still foreign to you, and you couldn’t decide if you liked how it felt.
All that time you’d spent in service of Heaven and of your father, and you were cast out as if you didn’t matter at all. You knew getting so close was wrong, but you hadn’t expected such harsh treatment. In all your years of being alive, you had never made a mistake. And after just one, you were kicked out? 
On the other hand, though, crying was freeing. Maybe Sam was right. Why would your father restrict you from feeling?
For a moment, the world was quiet. All you could hear was your soft sniffles, the birds chirping, and the wind rustling the leaves of the trees. You took a deep breath, and for the first time, life felt beautiful.
***
Sam was praying to you, and you had no way of responding to him. Slowly but surely, you were making your way back to him. You could feel his soul calling to you, and it only spurred you on to continue walking. As an angel, you had no need for sleep or eating. And so, you walked continuously for five days; each step making Sam’s essence grow stronger. You could feel yourself getting closer to him.
“Hey, (Y/N)?” you heard Sam calling to you. “I don’t know if you’re even still listening to me, but I’m sorry for scaring you off. I— I shouldn’t have done what I did. Just… come back. Please.”
It broke your heart that you couldn’t get to him sooner, and you mentally begged him to wait for you. 
And finally, on the sixth day, you found Sam’s cabin. Joy and relief flooded your chest, and you smiled widely. You ran through the front door, and Sam jerked out of his chair with his gun in hand. When he realized who you were, he dropped his gun to the floor in surprise. “(Y/N)?”
“Hello, Sam,” you smiled, tears rimming your eyes.
“Wh— What happened? Why’d you leave?” he asked.
“I didn’t. Zachariah brought me back to Heaven, and… he took my wings,” you explained, looking down at your shoes. 
Sam’s confused and angry stare turned to his familiar puppy-dog-eyed stare. “What, why?” 
“I’m a fallen angel now. I betrayed Heaven,” you responded.
“By doing what?” he asked. “I kissed you, you didn’t do anything.”
“Yes, I did,” you assured him, stepping closer to him. “I started to feel. And… feel for you.”
Sam’s soft gaze flooded your chest with warmth. He used his first two fingers to tilt your chin up toward his and closed the space between your lips. 
You and Sam weren’t perfect in any sense. But you would take whatever you two were over your shiny, hard, plastic, emotionless past. 
Forever taglist is open; series rewrite taglist is closed!
334 notes · View notes
lyralit · 4 months
Text
writing prompts from ttpd quotes
took a miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary
but I've seen this episode and still loved the show
this ain't the chelsea hotel, we're modern idiots
left all these broken parts // told me I'm better off // but I'm not
down bad, waking up in blood // staring at the sky, come back and pick me up
& I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free
I learned these people try and save you // 'cause they hate you
scandal does funny things to pride, but brings lovers closer
at the park where we used to sit on childrens' swings // wearing imaginary rings
barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine // well, me and my ghosts, wе had a hell of a time
love left me like this and I don't want to exist // so take me to Florida
what if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?
I was tame, I was gentle, til the circus life made me mean // don't you worry folks, we took out all her teeth
you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
he had a halo of the highest grade // he just hadn't met me yet
dancing phantoms on the terrace // are they second-hand embarrassed // that I can't get out of bed? // 'cause something counterfeit's dead
our field of dreams, engulfed in fire // your arson's match, your somber eyes
you're the loss of my life
breaking down, I hit the floor // all the pieces of me shattering as the crowd was chanting "more!"
'cause once your queen had come // you treat her like an also-ran // you didn't measure up // in any measure of a man
he jokes that it's heroin, but this time with an "e"
it's hell...on...earth...to...be...heeeaaveeenlyyyy
you've got edge, she never did // the future's bright....dazzling
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priestessame · 11 months
Text
Jing Yuan☆
♡ "A snowball's chance in hell" ♡
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Warnings: This is a dark fic. Jing Yuan is a manipulative shit. Power dynamic, dub con, mind break, somno, drug use, gaslighting, degradation, skull fucking, penetrative sex, marking, dirty talk, cum play.
•°*”˜ AFAB female sub! reader
Minors you have no business here pls leave thankyou.
•°*”˜ Summary: The loufu general was a kind man. For the most part. (This man literally makes me so feral I'm sorry for everything that exists under the cut.
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The general smiled at you differently.
When you mentioned that to your colleagues, they laughed so hard that one snorted out the energy drink from his nose. You felt your face burn with embarrassment as they doubled over, slapping their knees. Your first thought was that you wouldn't ever mention it to anyone else again. And your next thought was to tell yourself that you were indeed overthinking it.
It was stupid of you to think that way.
You were probably just projecting your own anxiety on his mannerisms. Thinking there was something wrong with his smile was probably because you were nervous to begin with. Right? Why would someone like the general even notice you out of all the new recruits?
Well, he hadn't even seen you before you had actually bumped into him in the hallway, the impact making you fall back on your behind, that he actually saw you.
"s-sorry general." you had stuttered out, half mortified and half starstruck at the sudden encounter. For you, it was a situation out of some romance novel. Wasn't this the moment that the clumsy heroine bumped into the male lead sending papers scattering across the floor. The first time he actually notices her is the moment that sparks the tumultuous romance. An overdone trope but its prospect still made you feel butterflies.
"Are you alright?" he chuckled,
In your head, you had expected to see him the way you had seen him walk along the harbor, with a polite gait and a kind smile tracing his lips. His low chuckles ringing in the late afternoon sun as he allowed himself a glass of wine or more. Everyone there worshipped him, in a place like that how could you see that man as anything less than glorious? You had looked up hoping to see the same image. But that's when he gave you that smile.
Gaunt across his handsome face, it was exactly like the one he gave others, yet there was something morbidly wrong with it. It had given you chills you had never felt like someone had dragged an ice-cold dagger along your back.
"You should be more careful, cadet." He hummed, the skin around his eyes wrinkling as he gave you a departing nod.
The general did smile at you differently.
Most of the time you couldn't tell what it was exactly, but it was like he was masking something sinister underneath. It made you tip-toe around him since then, forever looking over your shoulder waiting for that darkness to actually catch up to you.
Until then, Jing Yuan never thought of himself to be that kind of a man. Someone sick who took a masochistic pleasure in knowing how much power he held over you. In the beginning, he tried feeling guilty about it, for even letting his sick thoughts about you plague him for that long. Yet the way his cock had twitched when you looked up at him, begged to differ.
The way your doe eyes were full of guilt, just for bumping into him. In that moment he had realized the unsurmountable pedestal you had placed him on. You just made it more and more difficult for him to resist the urge.
As the general, it wasn't hard to make sure you weren't sent out on patrol often. It was even easier to get you to agree with what your beloved general was saying. Of course, you would abide by his orders.
In the beginning, he tried to be more restrained. Choosing and picking when and where he could get to you. His little work trip had provided him the perfect opportunity.
You had been so vigilant the entire time. Running around to cater to every need of his dutifully. Not once interjecting his work. Such devotion truly deserved his attention.
It had made it all the more easy to slip you something. With all the trust you had in him, you would have downed it with a single command. But he fed it to you with expensive food and wine, after all he didn't want to scare you away.
As selfish as he wanted to be, he didn't really fuck you. Jing Yuan wanted you to be awake for that, watch your eyes widen as he stretched you out for the first time. To hear your sweet whimpers, bottled them up and down it like old wine.
But still, the scene before him had been nothing short of divine. The flushed face and the fluttering eyes, even when you were drugged out of your mind you still worshipped him. How could he not find devotion like that endearing?
He had taken his time to peel the layers off of you. Teeth grazing your skin, careful not to leave any marks. You really were his perfect doll, letting him rub his sensitive cock over your folds. He had fucked your thighs, eyes pinned on your pretty cunt as he spilled out on your stomach. He knew there and then that the next time had to be inside you.
When you actually did wake up, you were just apologetic. Embarrassed that you had fallen asleep on your general when you were supposed to be on duty. He was mostly amused at how quickly you pushed away the question he asked you about last night. It was fun to see your eyebrows knit as you tried to remember the faint details. The slightly confused glaze in your eyes as you realized how unnatural your memory loss was.
Jing Yuan had just smiled at you kindly, "You were just tired from working so hard." he said. And it had all just worked that perfectly.
But with the work at the Xianzhou increasing, his very precious trips had to be cut down. And now, he had noticed another problem.
The general of the Loufu knights leaned heavily against the window, his eyes following your frame skipping across the street to deliver the daily report. And just like every day, that asshole stopped you again. His anger flared at how badly he wanted to mangle up that stupid knight. The boy followed you like a shadow the moment you stepped outside the confines of the office, his slender eyes perched on your smallest gestures. Jing yuan couldn't tell what was more pathetic, how placidly obvious that man's crush on you was or how oblivious you were to it.
It was forever the same routine, he would watch you cross the street, and then get stopped by that idiot. The knight would scratch the back of his neck awkwardly, fighting to keep the blush off his face as he spoke to you.
Jing Yuan's eyes would be pinned on that reaction, watching it like a hawk from the window of his office. His chest rising and falling in silent anger as he wondered what lethargic conversation he was striking with you. You were too polite to brush off his advances, always so patient with even the most undeserving.
Jing Yuan spun away from his window, it was getting too much now, he had to claim you, split you open on his cock until you couldn't think of anyone but him. His cock throbbed at the thought of you pinned under him, babbling out sweet words of gratitude as he pounded into you. He knew you'd love it, he'd make sure of that. And if couldn't whisk you away, he'd just have to do it right here.
The first opportunity presented itself at once. It was surprising how he didn't even have to initiate anything.
You looked mortified at your actions, wide eyes so apologetic as they gauged the cracked vial of perfume on his desk. The perfume doused the general's clothes, the way it had splintered on the table, making the liquid run down the edge staining his trousers. 
"Didn't I tell you to be vigilant about this?" He sighed, over your teary apologies. 
You hung your head, knowing that it was probably something rare and important that you had broken. 
The ends of Jing Yuan's lips quirked in a smile,  
"Why don't you start by cleaning up the mess you made?" 
He said, slipping his shirt off his shoulders. You looked up confused, the general stood before you impatiently, waiting for you to act on what he had commanded. You faltered shifting on your feet, trying to understand what he was actually asking of you. Your eyes trailed down his bare torso, making you press your thighs together. Did he really want you to undress him? 
You shook your head, scrambling forward regardless to do as you were told. 
Your mouth went dry, fingers trembling as you unbuttoned his trousers, dropping down on your knees to settle between his legs. His hard bulge painfully noticeable, making a print against his pants.
Jing yuan clicked his tongue. He cupped your face, pulling you against him until you could feel the heat radiating off his body. His eyes pinned on your kneeling form, his thumb tracing your puffy lips playfully. There was something blistering about his gaze, almost wicked with the way his eyes sized you up.
"Use your mouth." he commanded. 
This time you faltered. Your heart raced in your chest. His words making you squeeze your thighs together.
Jing yuan tilted his head at your words, "Are you refusing to follow my orders knight?"
You could tell this was crossing a line. Something amoral and wrong, a dangerous line he always teased of crossing but never really did. It made your legs go weak.
"General, that's-" you tried, tears prickling at your eyes. You stopped mid sentence, you wanted to pleasure him so badly, to serve your general in every way you could. With everything he had done for you, how could you not?
"n-no general." you mimed back.
Jing Yuan gave you the same smile again, and it finally clicked in your head like puzzle pieces falling together. You had been too gullible about this hadn't you?
Your fingers pulled his cock out from the restraints of the trousers,
You gave the tip a nervous lick, curling your fingers around the thick base. He looked painfully hard, the pinkish tip already oozing precum. You felt an aching warmth pool between your legs, heat rushed to your cheeks as you realised just how much this fucked up situation was getting you off. He gave out a low groan as you rolled your tongue over the head, fingers sliding down to dig into your hair. The sound made your toes curl. 
You continued to run your tongue along his length dutifully, suddenly wanting to feel more of him in your mouth. He hissed as you slipped the sensitive head inside your mouth, wrapping your lips around girth and sucking softly, cheeks hallowing as your warm tongue slipped over the slit.
To actually look down at you being so pliant, trying to fit his cock into your mouth hoping to catch just a few words of praise.
The budding tears made your eyelashes stick to your cheek, "Am I doing it right general?" you moaned out, looking up at him as his cock slipped out of your mouth, coated in your saliva.
Jing yuan smiled at you, blood rushing to his cock at the soft tone of your voice. His fingers slid into your hair as a sense of triumph washed over him.
"You're doing so well." Jing yuan replied, his voice gruffier than usual. His grip on your tightened as he slid his cock back into your mouth deeper. You gagged at his sudden action, jerking forward. Your fingers dug into his thighs as he forced you to take his entire length into your mouth. His smell crept over you, flooding through your senses washing over you as you felt his cock hit the back of your throat. He threw his head back as he moaned, his thrusts getting sloppy as he neared his high. The groans bouncing off the walls of his office. You could feel your mind blank out as he rocked you to and fro. Now this was really filthy wasn't it? Allowing him to use your mouth to get off like that. But it was quiet the sight for you too, to look up at the general and see his head thrown back and his half-clad chest heaving. You felt your pussy squeeze at the sight. The unyielding lion so easily coming undone.
You felt his cock twitch in your mouth and he pulled out suddenly, groaning as he came over your clothed chest. Thick roped of cum spilled over your blouse, he leaned down to kiss up your tears, wiping away the dribbling juices with the palm of his hand.
"My," He mused, eyeing your soiled top, "we're gonna have to get rid of that now."
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His touch was gentle, as his fingers pulled on the straps of your Armor. It fell apart atonce. The thin fabric doing nothing to hide your hardened nipples. he could practically smell the arousal and the sweat lining the inside of your uniform.
He bit your ear lightly and you squealed, jerking upwards. Your general held you in place, tone arm wrapped around your middle to firmly plant you where you were. Just the way his fingers brushed against your bare skin, made you hold your breath. Your heart hammered in your chest, the smallest of his touch sending heat pooling between your legs.
The nervousness of the situation making you dizzy. "G-general please." you whimpered out, his teasing touches getting a little too much for you. Every part of your body was so sensitive right now, you could feel the warmth of his body as he pressed into your back, the soft bump of his nose as he traced the line of your neck. Even his sweet breath against your ears as he grazed his teeth over your skin playfully. Everything was blistering hot, it was sending your mind spiralling and he hadn't even really touched you yet.
You couldn't tell if you were begging him to let you go or actually touch you more.
A moan escaped your lips as his calloused hands dug into your clothed breasts, his touch was still gentle, Jing yuan sighed, his nose burying in the crook of your neck.
"You do trust your general don't you?" He drawled out, curling his finger over the hem of your shirt, before sliding it up. You yelped as your perky breasts slipped out eagerly.
Jing yuan was nothing short of gleeful to see your breasts, spilling out of your flimsy top. He liked how they fit in his palms, skin around your nipples hardening under his touch.
"Spread your legs wider." he commanded. Your body jumped out of instinct, instantly embarrassed as he chuckled at your reaction. 
"I thought I had someone innocent under my command." He hummed out, trailing his fingers down to your clothed pussy. 
His fingers traced the wet spot, the ghost of that touch making you squirm under him. 
"I didn't know you were such a filthy slut to begin with." You felt yourself tighten around his fingers. Somehow this touch still felt sinful, you felt like you were being toyed with. Held down between his legs as the general's fingers played with your cunt. Being spread out like that in his lap, facing the door, the slightest movement outside his closed door made you jump. He hooked his thumb around the band of your panties, slipping them off. The cold air kissed your folds, sending thrills of anticipation to you core. 
"General- w-we shouldn't." you tried again, your words stuck in your throat as his fingers brushed against your bare clit, dragging out deliciously slow circles.
"What's wrong? You don't like it?" he drawled out, his thumb rolled over your clit as you pressed down a moan "You see how nice and swollen this is doll?" 
"that means you like it." he said,
His words made your core flutter around his digits. "N-no that's not-" you sobbed out.
He chuckled as you squirmed from the pleasure, "You're sopping wet for your general," he continued, his fingers slipping from the slick that coated your folds. "Are you really this excited to feel your general's fingers inside you?" 
Jing Yuan was having too much fun, letting himself get carried away. He couldn't help it he found everything about you pretty, the sloppy folds, dripping from how he touched you before. The swollen clit, just begging for his attention and your little whimpers as he while he whispered nasty things to you. He really was a sick man, he admitted, playing with his subordinate's sweet cunt and liking it so much.
It wasn't soon before you felt the pleasure coil in your stomach, this slow torturous drags of his fingers, pulling your first orgasm out of you. 
Jing Yuan groaned as you tightened around his fingers, spasming as your orgasm washed over you. Tears of humiliation pricked your eyes as the high finally wore off, Jing Yuan cupped your face, slick covered fingers digging into your cheek as he kissed up your tears.
You were so sweet under him, just as he has imagined you would be. At this point he had basically pinned you down and had his way with your body. And still you looked up at him pliant and teary eyed, as if you were still begging for her beloved general's approval.
You felt his teeth graze your neck, as the realisation of what had actually happened crashed into you. Your body throbbed with desire, wanting to taste and feel more of him. 
"Good job" he murmured against your neck, the intensity of the whole situation making you tremble against him. He wasn't quite done with you yet, but you knew that like a cat only playing with its mouse, he'll just let you go today.
Make you squirm away from him in the lobbies and have you buckle under his gaze until he's had a fill of the fear. And keep you wondering when he would pounce next.
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"Please, have a seat." he said, gesturing for you to sit before him.
You gulped as he placed the drink before you, the greenish liquid sitting in the sake cup suspiciously. Jing yuan's amber eyes pinned on your frame, waiting.
"It's just rice wine." he hummed out.
Liar.
It was his patience with things like this that truly chilled you. His awareness of how you didn't really have any other choice but to do as he said. But he just liked to play it as if he was being a gentleman and giving you agency. While the truth was that you could show hesitation, reluctance even, but it didn't matter. 
Your fingers dug into your skirts nervously as you did sit down. For wine, the drink smelly sickly sweet. Its faint scent wafting through the room, it already made your head hurt. His eyes crinkled in approval at your action, "I'm sure you'll find the drink agreeable." He said.
Your core throbbed painfully as you watched him coil his slender fingers around the bottle to pour himself another drink. Well, at least he was drinking it himself too.
Reluctantly, you brought it to your lips, taking a nervous sip of the liquid. It was watery, somewhat sweet yet tardy. You missed his smile as you drained your glass, it wasn't bad at all. It almost felt like you had tasted it before.
The taste was familiar. 
It was the same taste you had woken up with curling in your mouth every time you went on the travels with him. It was what had made you wake up dazed and confused.
Your stomach dropped as the room spun around you. The pillows felt so soft, sinking like clouds under your weight as the general pushed himself over you.
He pinned you under him as he brushed off the strands of wry hair from your face, whispering sweet things against your skin, as a strange haze made your head feel heavy. 
His thumb ran along your puffy lip, pressing his mouth over yours. His tongue felt hot and warm against yours, the sweet-liquid rolling down your chin. The kiss started innocently, only to become messy and hungry, growing more and more needy by the minute. You tried to keep up feverishly, the softest of his touches seemed to sear into your skin, sending your core throbbing. You mewled out under him, a strange haze covering your mind.
You had expected it to be intoxicating, but you hadn't expect it to be an actual aphrodisiac. Your body would already get sensitive under his touch, but this made you feel like your skin was on fire. His kisses trailed down your jaw, fingers sliding under your shirt to feel more of your skin. It wasn't enough. His calloused had reaching down to wipe your chin, 
"More~" You pleaded out, begging him to touch and feel you more. Your mind continued to grow foggier, 
He cupped your face pulling it forward to kiss your face again, you murmured against his lips as he pulled away, "If I knew you'd be this willing, I would have had you awake the first time." 
Jing Yuan tipped the bottle over you, letting the drink pour down your chest. You squirmed as it felt cool against your burning skin. His tongue dragged up along your skin to taste you, pulling at your sensitive skin, fingers reaching up to knead into the softness of your breasts. 
Jing yuan chuckled, "Did you wait for this so much doll?" He cooed out, watching as you arched your back rubbing your clothed core against his bulge. 
He pressed you forward forcing you to present to him and the drug made you stumble face first into the pillows.  "How awful of me." he feigned, lifting up one leg until he pressed your knee into your shoulder. You buried your face in your fingers from the embarrassment. The position just completely exposed you to him.
"General, please." you mewled out,
You yelped as he kissed up your cunt lightly, trying to not get carried away.  All he wanted to do was flatten his tongue against your folds and eat you out until you were crying. But his cock was painfully hard in his trousers, and he finally had you where he wanted, it would be too cruel not getting to fuck you. 
"Do you really want your general to ruin you like this?" His eyes narrowed, voice tinged with a hostility that was nothing like him. Your breath hollowed as you replied, "Y-yes."
"Beg."
Your legs kicked out impatiently, the need to feel him inside you now starting to hurt, "Please fill me up" you begged him, "Make me your slut General, please- please." you babbled out. 
The tip bumped into your entrance and you yelped out his name, he slid his cock up against your folds, digging into your throbbing clit before sliding down towards your entrance again.
His cock collecting your slick as he continued to tease you still. "Such a pretty cunt," He murmured,
His cock fit in you snugly, stretching you out. You moaned out, fingers digging into the pillows as he forced his length inside. 
Your mind couldn't comprehend anything other than how good it felt. The slow drag of his cock against your walls, the aphrodisiac heightening your pleasure. In the end he was generous with sex too. He fucked you rough and hard as it went on, pulling you on all fours before him.
His fingers dug into your hair, yanking you back so that you slammed back into him, his cock burying hilt deep with each thrust. You could feel him twitch inside you, moulding you to his shape. You tightened around his girth as he continued to whisper sinful things. Expressing how many times he had decided to take you in your sleep, wanting for you to wake up only to find him buried into you. The pleasure continued to stack up as he continued to fuck you, his own breath hitching as he neared his high.
He jerked you back into him, his voice heavy, "Should I just knock you up doll?" he growled out, "fill you up, so everyone knows you're my cum slut?"
Your heart skipped a beat, the weight of the situation suddenly hitting you, "No- wait general-" you pleaded, but his grip around your waist just tightened. Holding you in place as his hot cum painted your walls.
Your slick mixed with the general's cum dribbled down from your cunt, the burning now a faint throb. You squeezed your thighs together, despite the soreness between your legs you still felt your pussy throb with a needy ache.
His fingers dug into the meat of your ass, pulling you back towards him until his cock pressed into your entrance. He groaned as he bottomed into you again, burying his face in your hair. His pace turned slower, thrusts getting deeper as he fucked his cum back into you, forming a ring around his girth. You couldn't help but curl your toes as his length dragged against your tight walls again, wanting to fill you up once more.
Your legs trembled as you sank into the pillows, giving yourself to him entirely, maybe, if you're nice enough your general would even fuck you to sleep.
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What is with me and writing about crazed sex with powerful manipulative men???
ɿ(。・ɜ・)ɾ Ⓦⓗⓨ ɿ(。・ɜ・)ɾ
This was supposed to be first of the kinktober series and it ended up being all i could milk out :/
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Text
~Rory Culkin's Character - Masterlist~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Scream 4-Charlie Walker
°Forced move -> fem reader, dark themes, obsession, kissing, making out, yandere behaviour
°Perv!Charlie Walker headcanon->fem reader, perverted behavior, yandere, obsession, clueless reader
°Perv!Charlie Walker headcanon 2->fem reader, obsession, touching without consent, drugging, kidnapping
°Perv!Charlie Walker headcanon 3->fem reader, somnophilia, masturabtion, obsession
°Perv!Charlie Walker headcanon4->fem reader, angst, hurt/comfort, knife play, touching without consent, obsession
°7-Minutes in Heaven with Charlie Walker->fem reader, fluff, kissing, friends to lovers, making out
°Tear you apart->gn reader, murder, blood, obsession, mutual love, kissing, angst
°Heady biscuits->fem reader, weed, fluff, comfort, implied smut
°Charlie Walker in a relationship->fem reader, sfw/nsfw
°Unspoken words->fem reader, angst, emotional, hurt/comfort, kiss, blood, wounds
°NSFW Alphabet-Charlie Walker
°Fluff Alphabet-Charlie Walker
°In Love with you->fem reader, smut, sub Charlie
°Charlie Walker - Sinner in the store->fem reader, heavy smutish, kissing, handjob
°Charlie Walker - Something new to wear->fem reader, fluff
°The nurse and the nerd->fem reader, smut (handjob), some fluff
I'm gonna miss this place->fem reader, fluff, comfort, kiss
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lords of Chaos 2018-Euronymous
°Flower in hell->fem reader, fluff, tiny hurt, comfort, no use of Y/n
°Music, beer and touch->fem reader, fluff, kissing, making out
°NSFW Alphabet-Euronymous
°Princess and the Vampire->fem reader, big fluff
°Fluff Alphabet - Euronymous
°All the best in pink (sequel to Princess and the Vanpire)->fem reader, fluff
°Eyes on you in the short skirt->fem reader, tiny fluff, making out, kissing
°Guitar and bands->fem reader, fluff
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Under The Banner of Heaven-Samuel Lafferty
°His will->fem reader, fluff, smutish, making out
°His doings->fem reader, smut, fluff
°Strawberry field->fem reader, fluff
°Baking without god->male reader, fluff, cuddling
°I'm your god->fem reader, hurt, smut, non-con, religion, abuse
°Broken will->fem reader, hurt, emotional, smut
°It was his will->fem reader, smutish, religion abuse
°Rough Samuel Lafferty->afab, smut, kinda public
°Hidden relationship->smut
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Black mirror - Kappa
°My flower->fem reader, flirting, fluff, kiss
°My natural drug (Sequel to My flower)->fem reader, smut, fluff, shibari
°My Goddess->fem reader, smut, sub!Kappa/dom!femreader, bondage, humiliation, mommy kink, handcuffs, sm
°Brighten up the flowers->prequel to My Goddess (but can be read as a stand alone), sub!Kappa/dom!femreader, smut, chocking, mommy kink
°Wake Up-> fem reader (afab), smut, somnophilia, kissing, knife play, blood kink, druged sex, dark theme
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bullet Head - Gage
°My broken Angel - fem!reader, smutish, kissing, blood, hurt/comfort, emotional, use of drugs (heroin)
°From now on you are mine - Part.1
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Swarm - Marcus
°Pervert Marcus
°Stalker Marcus
°Valentine's Day with Marcus
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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sixx6sexx2love · 2 months
Text
FLUFF ALPHABET | NIKKI SIXX
UGH NO ONE ASKED FOR THIS BUT I DID HALF OF THIS A LONG TIME AGO AND FOUND IT SO I JUST FINISHED IT. AND THE ABC THING DID REALLY GOOD ON MY OLD ACC SO IM PRAYING THIS WONT FLOP.
word count; 1984
warnings; drugs, sex, alcohol, him getting a little angry, him being bitten by a dog, physical abuse (his step dad), lmk if I missed any (its funny when I see ppl say that knowing damn well yall won't say shit💀)
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A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
nikkis pretty affectionate, loves PDA and stuff. hes down for anything from just having a hand on your back to fucking you on a car in a parking lot. he doesn't care. he also likes cuddling and just hugging you, not just when he wants something or he's done something.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend?)
most likely fwb if you guys would be best friends. if not then at least have hooked up once or twice. but as a best friend he'd keep you around a lot, let you hang in the studio, get high with you at parties and makes sure you're safe (even though he encourages you to get shitfaced, and challenges you to drink offs)
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
YES he likes cuddles and you can't change my mind. fucked up, sober, upset or not, doesn't matter, he likes cuddling. his favorites could be face to face with your leg over his waist (he likes to sneak some touches sometimes) or his head on your chest or your head on his chest with one arm around you and the other to hold a bottle of liquor, or if he's needy, everything but sober, and upset, he likes wrapping his arms tight around your waist with his head basically between your tits. boobies make pain go away.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down?)
He would want to settle down but at a certain time. He said he's always wanted to be a dad and he would want to get married someday. like, I don't see you and him accidentally getting married in Vegas even in his drunkest state because he doesn't wanna get married now, what would you guys do when you were really ready to settle down and you guys already got married in 1984 or something?
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
if you guys had a real connection then he'd probably be upset about it for a while. he'd probably end it because he had to choose between the band or you or something. he'd probably call you and break it off or meet up with you and break it off. but just because you guys broke up doesn't mean you could get another boyfriend or something while he's still around. he on the other hand would probably hook up with someone in the next 24 hours. 
but if it was just a fling or you guys dated for a week or two hed probably just tell you it wasn't working and leave or he might not say anything at all.
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
he wants to get married but not yet, he didn't know when. hell, he could've proposed with just the question a long time ago, but wouldn't get married until he knew he wouldn't be all fucked up. definitely would not get married around the time he was strung out on heroin 24/7. most likely would get married after the whole 2 minute death and wake up call.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
He thinks he's more gentle than he actually is. not saying he's throwing you around all the time but hes definitely done some damage, accident or not. more so rough with your emotions and sometimes neither of you know it.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
he likes hugs, he hugs you enough to where it means something each time. he doesn't side hug you, if he's gonna hug you hes gonna make it a hug. hes the type to make sure you hug back and if you don't he'll keep hugging you until you do or until you hug tight enough. sometimes he'll fuck with you and keep telling you to hug him tighter and you end up feeling like you're taking his blood pressure or something. hes a tall guy so assuming you're shorter, when you hug him its normally where he sprays his cologne so you can smell it while you hug. but when he's a 6’4 monster in his platform heels you're to like his stomach or something.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
either really quick or really late. no inbetween. like the night you met or started dating hed tell you he loves you and acts like you've been dating forever and you're the one, or he waits too long to say it.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
yes. LMAO THATS ALL I GOTTA SAY. I've made posts about his Jealousy, and its not just cannon, its a fact. if we had to say from a scale from 1-10, I'd say his Jealousy is always like a 7.4 and up. dosn't matter who, if he doesn't like them and you guys are talking, he feels more Possessive than insecure.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
everywhere that can be kissed he will kiss. he likes a lot of tongue action in kisses, like his tongue would be all over yours of he'll suck on your tongue. something freaky like that. really, he likes to kiss you on your mouth but when he's fucked up he misses and like makes out with your neck or something. 
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
he loves children. its like a public secret. I have a picture of him when he went to Idaho and there was this little girl and I cant remember if she was opening a present or something, but he was just kinda watching her (i put the picture at the top). if you have younger siblings hed wanna meet them and get to know them, but if they don't like him and wants you to break up with him hed literally give zero shits. if it were like a pre teen hed probably be a little more awkward than with little kids or teenagers. hed probably be like “so, you like rock? you play anything?”
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
uh.. you guys rarely see mornings unless you're just going to bed in the morning. but waking up with him at any time there will be vomit, screaming (telling the other to be quiet while throwing up since the other has a headache), pain killers (maybe one too many) and more jack.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
now were talking. you already know. booze, drugs, sex, music, fights, all that.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
he probably wouldn't bring up his childhood by himself, maybe if you asked, but you gotta be careful. he wouldn't spill it all at once, maybe if he did itd be a drunken rant and you can't understand half the things he's saying besides hearing “whore mother” and “asshole dad”, but he would willingly tell you things like how he has a half sister who lived with his mom, and some things he did when he was young. but maybe after all those little things he says about his childhood and you piece it together you can get an idea of what happened. or maybe if he ever took you down to Idaho to meet his grandparents, his grandmother would show you the few pictures she has of him as a child, and her being the sweet lady she was shed probably just tell you about his mom and stuff.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
not really easily angered but easily annoyed and irritated that can lead to anger. hell get irritated when something doesn't go his way, and if its not fixed in a short amount of time hell get mad. he'll get annoyed at the phone ringing when you guys are having sex, and he'll get irritated if someone keeps calling. its like a loop.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
he'll remember what he can, he'll forget most of what you told him one night but would try and fill in the missing parts. but when you keep reminding him of what you actually said after like 2 more times, it sticks, and his memory gets better the more you guys date. because he knows you'll get tired of repeating and he really does wanna know your moms secret macaroni ingredient or some shit.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
probably the first time you hooked up. hes probably had his eye on you and you didn't really wanna move that fast in a relationship, but you managed to wait maybe 3-5 days in the relationship before you guys had sex.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts?)
its your birthday? pick what you want and he'll buy it. already picked what you wanted? he got you more shit. anniversary? probably rented out like a whole part of a club that was kinda blocked off so you guys could fuck on the couch with the table almost full of fruity drinks you wanted to try.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
I could go on and on. either read my other posts or you don't know him enough💀
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
God, hell genuinely tweak if his hair isn't a foot tall with hairspray. but when he's having a good makeup day he smiles :] like that :].
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
in a way. if you guys went strong and made it a while, hed probably feel lonely without you, or confused. like when he's just by himself and he's thinking of you and that you're not there, he has the look you make when you enter a room and forgot why you went in there.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
this isn't cannon but Nikki hates German shepherds because when he was young his step father (the one who beat him for brushing his teeth wrong) had one and the dog would always bite him and the guy didn't do anything about it. and when they were driving to Mexico the dog was in the car and bit him the whole way there
I feel like he makes good smores though LMAOO
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
now.. he said he doesn't like curly hair because he said everyone he's met that had curly hair was cock eyed. but don't let that stop you, it'll grow on him. hell still stand for not liking curly hair but would word it differently when talking about you. “her hair isn't curly its fuzzy. and I like it.”
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
hed take up the whole bed. he doesn't move much in his sleep so don't let him lay all stupid on the bed or he won't move. he also probably doesn't like blankets that much, he always kicks them off or gets annoyed at night from being hot and just aggressively but softly throws the rest of the blanket on your sleeping body.
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4ndr3ax10 · 3 months
Text
Perhaps what i needed was some of you
Angel dust x Male reader one shot with a lotta angst.
Word count: 576
Some days Hell was not as bad as it seemed; sure, you had the constant company of the worst people ever—the fire, the crime, the exterminations, and whatnot.
This was not one of those days. In fact, you had been living like shit for quite a while now; getting kicked out of your ratty apartment, getting beat up left and right for numerous debts, and the gang of cannibals that tried to eat you like 2 days ago were indeed not fun at all.
At your wits end, you tried the last of your options, the Hazbin Hotel. You always thought it was a lost cause and most likely a scam, but oh well, it's not like you had any money to get scammed in the first place, so you gave it a try, already expecting the worst. Plus, you heard that there was a famous porn star staying there or something.
A few weeks go by.
Man, trying to be a better person is hard. All the fun stuff is now off the limits, for fuck's sake: no street fights, no drugs, no stealing, no throwing turds at people passing by.
And yet you stayed there; could it be for the free housing? Yeah, somewhat, but what really kept you there was angel dust. You two were practically best buddies at this point; it felt as if you both were made from the same cloth. You bonded right away, be it when trying to get off of Charlie's incessant group exercises, when clubbing, when one of you felt vulnerable, or when trying to smuggle some coke in the hotel.
Your room was adjacent to his; you heard him crying so much late at night when he thought no one could listen, and in truth, you were ashamed of yourself. One of the only people in this god-forgotten place that cares about you, that you care about, is behind a wall crying themselves to sleep every night, and you did nothing.
This guilt in yourself was heavy; each night out with him, you could not let your mind abandon thoughts that made your heart sink. How the most resilient person you knew could be so broken made you feel pity for him because you knew you couldn't understand his pain.
Over time, as you grew closer together, you recognized that you had feelings for him a long time ago, and now you were tired of him crying in the night looking for something—anything—to make this stop. So you started to talk to him when he cried in the middle of the night, to let him spill himself open. At first, he was strongly against this, as this was the only thing he knew to do when he was hurt. struggle
But slowly, bit by bit, his mask came undone. You felt a sense of relief like no other, a feeling warmer than heroin now that Angel had someone to talk to, someone who could be there at his lowest, someone to whom he could show his beaten and humiliated but still alive real self.
And so one day, right after dinner, you said it, loud and clear, "I love you." As you looked him in the eyes, you took a gamble: will Angel Dust or will Anthony reply? You were caught in a wave of gentle but potent euphoria as Anthony hugged you with tears in his eyes and laid arms on your back, one stroking your hair. "I love you too.".
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