#Earl Grey + peanuts

[randomnameless]

Why do the FEH devs insist on ignoring Nabatean lore so much?

I recently had a surprisingly cordial discussion on redshit with someone about the "nabateans = colonisers" take, and one of the main points raised was that the game was purposedly foggy around Nabateans/Sothis/their story because it would obviously favor a certain narrative (and thus make another narrative look, uh, not that marketable anymore).

To be honest, we still ended up with a product that had a lead go "this race and its blood* is the reason why the world sucks" and yet that lead is still marketable enough to have raunchy cipher cards and 5 FEH alts, so I actually wonder if, while pissing on that lore had that purpose, it was ultimately pointless since Supreme Leader can still sell goodies despite her incarnation in FE16.

And not only Supreme Leader - but the entirety of WC where we basically have 70% of the cast crying/complaining about their "mixed blood" or lack of and basically adding their 10 cents to the "this race and its blood is the reason why the world sucks".

I mean, can you imagine Sylvain selling any goodies and alts if Flayn replied to his "wah wah people only are kind to me and want to fuck me because I have Nabatean blood :(" by some uncharacteristic "good for you, I have to hide my ears, had to dye my hair, have to lie about my family because if the truth is found out about my identity, I will be hunted and vivisected like an animal and harvested for parts by people who call my kin abominations - just like what happens in the game where the same people who call my kin "abominations" ally with a classmate who calls me a creature and pretends I am incapable of human feelings based on my race".

FE Fodlan's main selling point is its cast of students, for various reasons, but even if I tried to kid myself, Nopes and FEH made it clears : students are the main selling point.

If you spare more time and attention to the Nabatean plot/lore, the students either grow from "likeable" to "despicable" or worse, you won't gaf about them because yeah sure, Hilda might be upset because people expect things from her due to her crust, but it would feel like a "peanut" compared to Seteth's irrational (granted, it's not so irrational since GW exists) fear that Flayn's newest friends would dissect her if they learnt she was a Nabatean, and being conflicted by finally letting her have human friends and form bonds she crave, or protect her due to the trauma from the genocide of their species.

Don't get me wrong, I love peanuts, I mean, not everyone can have a tragik of loaded backstory!

And yet, given how this verse's DNA is "can you fight against the red emperor who uwus about you", they had to add copious amounts of Earl Grey to their games so there's no clear-cut factions :

The "Your alien blood and its influence on the world corrupted it, so I want to reform it under my command" vs "I don't want to die and you oppose me due to my race and side with the people who genocided my kin"

is turned to :

"Your alien blood Crests and its your church's influence on the world corrupted it, so I want to reform it under my command"

"I don't want to die and you oppose me due to my race and side with the people who genocided my kin"

Sprinkle with the cast's hammering here and there that the "reforms" might be needed - but never develop on what they are - and add a few baseless and groundless takes as a toping (basically everything Claude says about tolerance and the general "isolationism/foreign policy" stuff) and you get FE Fodlan where the Red Emperor's war isn't seen as the catastrophe it is in the other entries from the series!

Now, for FEH...

FWIW, the F!F!Billy's trailer had them try to explain that Sothis was a bit pissed about her slaughtered/massacred children when Nopes never gave any reason about why she was pissed - maybe on Billy's behalf bcs Jerry's dead, but come on, she would indeed deserve the medal of the worst parent in the franchise if that was the case, since Billy can murder her daughter without Sothis taking over ! - but given that they cannot write/go against the source game those characters are from.

They tried a bit, with B!Supreme Leader and Hegemongard's FB, but then it stopped (because she had no "new unit" released since then lol) and I can understand why : Hegemongard came out before the Supreme Emblem, and Hegemongard hates dragons who are seen/perceived as gods by some of their human followers. Come FE17, and now Supreme Emblem accepts Alear because they are "one of the good ones". We can come up with HCs and details and talk about what are emblems or if Hegemongard's views were only hers at the end of AM all day long... But imo, Doylist wise, it still feels it's a retcon because the devs from the main games tried to scrap and remove the most "controversial" traits she had.

For the other characters... Well, you see what Marianne is in FEH (but even in her base games), she's one of the few characters who reacts - in a way - to the partial history about relics and demonic beasts and all... only to give sad uwus to Maurice.

FE16 (and Nopes) refused to have any "student" character react to the Nabatean lore/reveal, about what are relics and all. There are no lines, Claude shared some knowledge in the explore section of VW's last chapter, but we don't have anyone muse or think or even talk about what are relics, what are crests, and what kind of fuckery their ancestors or the ancient humans of Fodlan did.

With that in mind, FEH can't do much : either they write Marianne in a retcon-y way like what happened for Hegemongard (and they're not afraid to piss on characterisation, look at Lyon!), or they flanderise her "character" and develop her around 3 lines she had in the game in her paralogue, and continue to give sad uwus about Momo when he was at best a guy who slaughtered and murdered so much that he abused the Nabatean turned into a relic to the point where he turned in a demonic beast even if he had a matching crest, or at worst, had been part of Nemesis's piñata party in Zanado and was something of a genocider.

Tldr :

Why FE Fodlan never gaf about Nabateans : earl grey + the marketable cast has to stay marketable and you can't sell peanuts at the same price you'd sell swordfish

Why FEH dgaf about Nabatean lore : they can't afford to retcon characters + they have to sell peanut alts with the same seasoning they had in their base game.

For what it's worth though, I think FEH is more daring than the base game(s) given how they gave more lines and screentime to Rhea - through her different alts - than GW. And they even designed her Halloween!alt's lines to piss on some of Claude's assertions, while the various FB involving members of the church also - indirectly - reply to some accusations thrown their way in FE16 when, FE16, never gave them an opportunity or lines to explain that those takes were full of dung.

*"but random, maybe she doesn't know that the crests she often decries is "dragon blood"!"

It's highly debatable, especially given what she and Hubert throw to Billy in CF - but even if she doesn't, Doylist wise we still have a character who, knowingly or not, says "this race and its blood* is the reason why the world sucks" and who is never called out on her prejudice. That's more of an issue regarding the general writing though, she has to be a red emperor and took pages from Ashnard's book, and yet, the player must still feel bad and want to romance her, so her mindest/goal cannot be looked at too closely, because, I guess, even the devs thought it would be difficult to romance her (thus sell goodies!) if more light was shed on the "blood from this race corrupts our people" schtick -> which in turn would also make characters whose backstory and gimmick rely on "crying about crests" be way less likeable, thus marketable and able to sell goodies.

[andrigyn]

Inspired by a post about bad ice cream… reblog and put in the tags what your favorite ice cream flavors are!

[amphibiangeorgerussel]

either the earl grey that got mailed to me in a box somehow contains peanuts or i’m getting ill. either way i hope i die

[daisyblog]

Gogglebox

Our Story Masterlist Summary: YN and Louis on Gogglebox.

Based on this request.

YN is sat on the blanket covered sofa, waiting for Louis to return. “Louis? Are you in the kitchen?”.

Off screen Louis can be heard calling back. “Yeah!”.

“What have you got?”. YN asked, as she put her feet up on the coffee table in front of her.

“Minstrels…dry roasted peanuts…your favourite chocolate…everything Tiny”. Louis named a few of the snacks he had before throwing her the chocolate bar.

YN gave him a grateful smile and a thank you as he sat next to her. “This is why you’re my favourite older brother”.

Louis frowned as he processed what she had said. “I’m your only older brother!”.

“Exactly…my favourite”.

“In London”.

“Saw someone tweet that they hate Yorkshire tea”. YN’s voiced played over the outside of the London home.

Louis and YN shared the same disappointing look, appalled someone would say such a thing. “Yorkshire tea is the way for me…the bands old manager used to drink them Earl Grey’s”.

“Earl fookin’ Grey’s?”. YN repeated, judgement high in her voice. “What the fook is an Earl Grey?”.

“Horrible!”. Was the only singular words Louis had to describe the tea.

“Brother and sister, Louis and YN!”.

“Just have a cup of tea y’know what I mean…it’s like those fookin’ avocados…trendiest food of all times, it’s like if I have an avocado and tag it in me picture like y’know what I mean…I’m a boyo”. Louis rambled on about his hatred for avocados, as he sat on the sofa with one leg rested up on the table. YN had switched off slightly as she let him talk. “They do piss me off, avocados!”.

At the mention of the fruit, YN snapped out of her daydream. “Are you still going on about fookin’ avocados?”. A giggle escaped her lips, as she looked at Louis sitting on her left. “How many times have you said fookin’ avocados?”.

“Avocados…said it again!”. Louis cheekily raised his eyebrows in a teasing way.

---

“Do you watch this?”. Louis asked his sister, who was getting comfy under the blanket, referring to the program University Challenge.

Without her lips threatening a smile, she sarcastically replied. “Nah, I’ve always worried I’d be smarter than them”.

The minute the joke slipped form her mouth, Louis chuckled at shook his head lightly at his unserious she was. “Shut up you idiot!”.

On the University Challenge, the contestants were asked “Of unknown origin what three letter word dates to the 1920’s in the sense of a live performance by a musician or group?”.

Without hesitation at the mention of a group, YN answered. “One Direction!”.

“Three letter word Tiny”. Louis rolled his eyes at his sisters answer.

The female contestant answered correctly. “Gig is correct!”.

“You should have got that”. YN pointed out to Louis, who only playfully nudged her with his shoulder.

---

“Doctor Johnson referred to which English literally figure…”.

“If they don’t know it…then we don’t know it”. Louis pointed out as the contestants looked a little confused themselves.

“Shakespeare!”. YN said with confidence, not realising that it was correct.

When the male contestant answered “Shakespeare”, and was told he was correct.

YN and Louis jumped in their seats at the realisation that she was in fact correct. “WHEEEY!”. The cheered tougher, matching their identical smiles.

“You go Tiny!”. Louis encouraged his sister, proud that she had it correct, even if it was a guess.

YN wore a smug grin, internally shocked that she managed to answer one. “Look at me…brains of fookin’ Britain”.

---

“In London”.

“Have you seen how much they’re trying to push American football now in England?”. Loui voice played over the outside of the building.

YN stared at him like he’d asked her the most ridiculous question ever. “Do you really think I keep up with football gossip?”.

“Brother and sister, Louis and YN”

He shrugged his shoulders. “You might…you enjoy coming to the odd game…you loved the charity match when we were in the band”.

“Yeah ‘cause I had some eye candy to look at!”. YN defended her reasoning, the eye candy referring to Harry who she was currently starting to let back into her life after their break up.

“Fair…fair!”. Louis let the conversation slide.

---

As the start of The Haunting begins, YN asked Louis if he believes in ghosts.

“Not really y’know…do you?”. It wasn’t a conversation the siblings ever had.

“I’d like to think there’s something after death…y’know…so kinda”. YN explained.

“You’d be a little shit if you were a ghost…just playing fook with everyone!”. Louis pulled at his jeans, trying to get comfy.

YN giggled. “Like real life you mean?”.

“Exactly!”.

As the scenes of The Haunting played, Louis and YN’s eyes were glued to the screen, watching intensely at what was about to happen. “I hate scary stuff…don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight”.

As the woman on the program woke up and sat up in bed, the camera quickly panned to the end of the bed where a large creature was stood.

“AHHHH!”. YN jumped up, clinging onto the cushion beside her.

Her scream caused Louis to jump in his seat. “Fookin’ ‘ell Tiny…you scared me more than that bloody creature!”.

After YN had calmed down her racing heart, she couldn’t help but laugh at Louis. “M’sorry you know I hate scary films”.

“I think the whole street know after that fookin’ scream!”.

---

Naked Attention was the next show the siblings had to watch. At first they were reluctant but it was part of of the show, and decided to make a joke out of it.

When the presenter on the show asked for the lower half of the bodies to be revealed, Louis and YN remained silent, both note for the first time all evening.

Breaking the silence, Louis spoke. “Do you know what’s mad about this…like they could get turned away now…and that’s all they’ve done all day is get out of bed and go on the tv and get their fanny’s out”.

“And bums and boobs…don’t forget them”. YN ended her silence. “I mean they’re naked on tv…like everyone can see this…imagine their poor Nan comes across this”.

“Let’s be ‘onest you’d hope your Nan wouldn’t choose to watch it”. Louis gave YN a worried look.

“Hey you never know!”. YN burst into laughter as she managed to make Louis embarrassed.

“Essentially they go on here…get naked…show off their bits and bobs and hope to get a date…it’s just mad”. Louis couldn’t understand the show and how it was a thing.

YN was deep in thought. “At least they know before the date if he’s got a little di-“.

Louis was quick to interrupt and groan in horror at what his sister was about to say. “Alright…alright that’s enough!”.

Tag List:

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[toulousewayne]

Batfamily Shenanigans:Head-canons Pt: 1

Bruce eat Peanut Butter from the jar and it drives Alfred mad. Has a kid it was the only thing that calmed Bruce down after his parents,but as an adult he still does it.

Bruce cannot cook in the kitchen, but he can grill just about anything and does it with minimal effort.

Dick, Bruce,Alfred,Steph and Duke are right handed. While, Babs, Jason, Damian, and Kate are left handed. Tim is ambidextrous. Damian hates it.

Damian is vegetarian, Dick and Babs will try different restaurants with him and some of Dick’s new favorite takeout is a vegan and vegetarian Asian restaurant in Uptown.

Alfred prefers Earl Grey over any other tea.

Tim got his GED,at first the he didn’t want to tell anyone but Damian found his mail and told him he was proud. But threatened him if he breathed a word to the others.

Duke sometimes get overwhelmed during the day patrol and other bats sometimes will randomly come by to check on him.

Bruce to his credit was still getting hang of being a father with Jason and Dick. Tim was more of a partner at first, but later on he became his son. He really got improve and do better with Damian. He’s still trying but at least that counts.

Jason does have the white tuff, however after speaking with Talia and Damian he learns it’s not a result of the pit. And it’s actually Vitiligo.

Stephanie is actually allergic to eggs, put loves them so much that everyone just carries Benadryl. Cass keeps her EpiPen.

Duke is the best swimmer out of his siblings.

Kate does not like desserts, she doesn’t have a big sweet tooth. Bruce however is a Cookie Monster.

Babs has had LASIK however she still wears her glasses to not strain them while looking at monitors all the time.

Alfred the Cat, loves Tim’s room more because of his window. It gets the best sunrises and sunsets, he enjoys the warmth from it.

Ace prefers to set at Bruce’s feet in the cave. Bruce enjoys his company.

Cass and Dick have dance classes together in the ballroom. Dick is surprisingly good at Ballet.

Jason will eat his siblings leftovers. Tim will get him half his PB&J and Jason will devour it in seconds.

Talia used to make food with her mother has a little girl and did the same with Damian. He tries to teach Bruce some of his favorite food. Poor Bruce isn’t very good at it but the enjoy the bonding.

Cass can identify which of her brothers is the closest by their scents. Dick has a vanilla and cedarwood smell,Jason smells like Grapefruit and Amber, Tim smells like French lavender, Duke has a grapefruit and Patchouli scent, and Damian smells like cinnamon.

Barbara likes when Cass and Damian make her handmade jewelry over being bought stuff. She wears a gold locket Cass gifted her everyday. And has a ring and charm bracelet that Damian gave her for birthday. She never takes these off.

Tim is allergic to shellfish.

Bruce cannot stand strawberry jam, he prefers grape much to Alfred’s horror.

Stephanie will stack plates, silverware and cups like a server. It’s habit she got from her Mom and hates leaving a mess for Alfred or any other server to clean.

Jason has smoked from time to time. But will snap if he sees his little brothers do it. Jason will Mother Hen them to death.

Alfred is the best marksmen with long ranges guns, Jason is the best at versatile shooting and Barbara is the best firearm shot.

Cass,Steph are the same height, both are an inch taller than Tim, Duke is to inches taller then them.

Tim and Damian are the artist of the family. Damian prefers classic art, like oil paintings, pottery, and marble sculptures. Tim prefers modern art, photography, stone sculptures. Diana takes them to her art gallery on the weekends.

Bruce is the slowest to text back, Jason and Damian ignore texts if they’re not emergencies,Tim emails the fastest, the only good testers are Steph, Duke, and Barbara. Dick will ignore your text and FaceTime you to ask you to repeat the question instead and Cass prefers a phone call.

[dullgecko]

Favorite Desserts; Bad Kids Edition

With a side of family memories ^^

----

Adaine: Earl Grey Cheesecake

While she didn't enjoy the stuffy atmosphere of the Abernant residence (no mementos around the house except in the bedrooms, rarely any blankets or pillows because her parents didn't see any need for them since they trance, etc.), afternoon tea was always served with tiny square pieces of Earl Grey Cheesecake along with other pastries. Adaine found them delicious, and even after leaving her family, she scoured the town for a pastry shop that could replicate it, but soon gave up. When she moved into Morded Manor, Jawbone overheard her gushing about it to Kristin and Fig. He jumped at the challenge, and one day after school Adaine came home to find a beautifully decorated slice of it on the counter with a note saying "Adaine ♡" beside the plate. It was the best cheesecake she'd ever eaten.

----

Gorgug: Bread and Apple Pudding

Every Moonar Yulenear Digby and Wilma will make a bread pudding and serve it with cinnamon apples and a scoop of ice-cream. When he was five, he asked how it was made. Wilma told him that the secret ingredient was love. Corny as it was, Gorgug was completely convinced that all it took to make the dessert was put some bread and apples down on the counter and "I love you," and it'd turn into pudding. When he was nine, Wilma and Digby let him join in on making the pudding. It became apparent that his previous theory was not the case. However, right at the end, Digby gave his wife a kiss and hugged Gorgug's leg, and that's when he realized what Wilma meant. He makes it every year with them, and sometimes without them. (He prefers with.)

----

Fig: Fried Ice-Cream

When Fig was seven, Gilear took her out to a small, family-run diner near the edge of town for lunch. She had empanadas and her father had a kinda pathetic looking ham sandwich, and afterwards they shared a fried ice-cream. Fig got the cherry-on-top (and Gilear got a brain freeze). They sat at the park til the sun began to set, and then they headed home. (Sandra-Lynn made muffins, but Gilear kept the thousand-calorie secret to himself.) It was Fig's best memories. A week before Freshman Year, she walked back to the same place and ordered a fried ice-cream. The waitress who served her mentioned in passing that a sad looking elf came by only a few hours prior and requested the same thing. He left the cherry-on-top.

----

Fabian: Oatmeal Biscuits

Fabian doesn't remember how old he was when he baked his first batch. Cathilda dropped by his room one evening, while his father was out on Leviathan and his mother was taking a nap, and asked him if he'd like to make a dessert with her. The halfling had always been his confidant, and he'd been feeling lonely, so he jumped at the offer. They made their way downstairs and Cathilda announced that they'd be making a pastry that had been passed down from her parents, and she'd decided that he was family enough she'd teach it to him. The recipe was simple; a package of oatmeal, cinnamon, butter, etc. Fabian dropped the first bowl of batter on the floor and freaked out, expecting Cathilda to shoo him back to his room, but she just cleaned it up and they started a new batch. Halfway through a food fight broke out with the old batter, but it was cleaned up before Hillariel came downstairs for another drink.

----

Kristin: Peanut Brittle

Kristin's family doesn't eat much sugar. Sure- they'll make a nice little pie for the Sol holidays, but they're also the kind of family who will base all their meals off of the calorie count. However, during some family vacation to visit relatives in the middle of nowhere, they dropped by a small country store and, at the request (hysterical begging) of her brothers, the Applebees' caved and bought a package of peanut brittle. Kristin tried on of the four peices (she offered one half to her parents, but they declined) and immediately fell in love with it. She tried to remake a few weeks later but the Applebees' refused to buy the ingredients. She didn't attempt it again until moving into Mordred. It was Tracker who suggested she make it, one day while they were at a candy shop. Kristin bought the ingredients, set up in Mordred, and baked a large sheet of it that was almost immediately devoured by her and the Bad Kids.

----

Riz: Flourless Chocolate Cake

Riz isn't one for sweet treats. He likes sugar, but he's also the person who orders a soda in a vintage bottle when the rest of his friends have ice cream. However, his father made a flourless chocolate cake during one of his and Sklonda's anniversaries, and Riz was invited to taste test to ensure that Pok's beautiful wife would get top-notch dessert by the end if it. They served it with raspberries during breakfast. Sklonda enjoyed it immensely. Riz, of course, got all the credit for being "Dad's little sous-chef". Some days, after Pok died, he would make it again, and he and Sklonda would bring it and some lunch out to the cemetery to have a family picnic. Fabian saw him making one once, and asked Cathilda to help him create it for Riz's birthday.

----

Holy- thats- that's a lot. I am SO sorry XD

These are all amazing and awesome. No notes A+

Never apologise for sending me long ones lol (I love reading them on my breaks)

I just have a harder time adding things to them.

[thesunhatesme]

What the ghouls eat for breakfast - HC

Mountain: a bagel with lettuce, tomato and cheese with a cup of tea (earl grey)

Dew: black coffee (it has to be as bitter as his morning mood)

Rain: he’s not a breakfast person and is not awake for it but he’ll grab an apple or just eat lunch

Swiss: peanut butter jelly sandwich and a very sugary coffee

Aether: toast with marmite with a glass of apple juice

Phantom: fruit loops with milk and a glass of tropical juice

Cirrus: granola with yogurt and an espresso

Sunshine: fruit loops and a glass of chocolate milk

Cumulus: cream cheese and strawberry jam bagel with a cup of some kind of fruit tea

Aurora: fruit salad with a glass of strawberry milk

Copia: toast with butter and cheese with way to many cups of coffee

[innalheid]

ALRIGHTY GAMERS

You all spoke. Our base cake with be a rich, fudge chocolate cake. Now it's time to pick a filling!!

Keep in mind I'm listing options that I actually have the stuff on hand to make lmao

A lot of the flavours could be like, incorporated into a mousse or a pastry creme or a marshmallow or a fudge.......I only have twelve options okay

Prev poll that decided our base cake:

[goblinparty]

i am so glad i splurged on an ice cream maker a few years ago, holy shit. i've been having so much fun playing with flavors and stuff, so far this year alone i've made lemon, strawberry with balsamic vinegar, peanut butter, vanilla (with the beans! no extract!), blackberry, and guava.

plans for the rest of the summer are: earl grey, pickle, sea salt (with a caramel ribbon), peach, and pear (maybe with bleu cheese?)

[just-some-castaways]

Little Ghost

I think there's a little ghost in the library. Sometimes, I go in search of my favorite book and it's missing from the shelf, the books to either side toppled to fill its place. Sometimes, I forget to see to my tea and scone, and when I do, the scone is missing pieces and the tea cup is nearly empty.

I heard a little ghost in the library. It was right before sundown, when I settled down with a mug of tea and C.S. Lewis's "Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe." I heard a little whisper, just behind my ear around page three, 'Go slower,' it pleaded, 'You read too fast.'

I shared some tea with a little ghost in the library. She likes apple-spice, lemon, and raspberry, but never orange or Earl Grey. Though I found she prefers hot cocoa when I set out several options, and returned later to see the results. Her favorite snacks seem to be sliced apples with peanut-butter, jellybeans, and most kinds of crackers, except for multi grain.

I met a little ghost in the library. She never let me see her, I'm quite sure it was intentional. Such a shy little thing, always flitting about, just out of sight. But tonight, part way through "The Silver Chair," I caught a glimpse of ruddy brown hair and a set of inquisitive blue eyes peeking over the coffee table at me as I read aloud. In a moment she was gone, but I knew she meant for me to see her, I'd tried so many times before.

I spoke with a little ghost in the library. When we'd reached the end of The Chronicles of Narnia, I pondered aloud what novel to begin next. A timid voice piped up, "The Wild Robot." I smiled, nodding approvingly, "The Wild Robot it is."

I saw a little ghost in the library. We'd shared many stories together, countless cups of tea and cocoa, and several grocery trips of the snacking variety. But last night, she scampered out from the shadows, shuffling along on her knees, eyes locked on mine. "I like your stories." She whispered, petite form huddled in a bundle of purple just out of reach, "Your voice is nice." I smiled, warmth blooming in my chest at the approval of this whisper of a girl. "Thank you," I replied, nodding politely, "Yours is quite lovely as well." She hid her face behind her hands, messy brown hair falling forward like a curtain and she tucked in her skirt covered knees. "And you are always welcome, in my little treasure trove of tales, Little Ghost." -

(Authors: Nate, Maddie, and a Little "Ghost") 10/2/2024

[ladytesla]

The Great Faerun Baking Show (part two)

I've decided I'm going to run with this anyway. It is a beautiful day in Faerun and I am a horrible goose fanfiction writer. There are several things I need to get done today, so obviously I'm going to not do them and write this instead.

For those of you who are just stopping by, I had a horrible idea a while ago and this is the result. I have no idea what's going to happen or who's going to win. I’m just going to roll a D20 ‘bake check’ for everyone and write out the results, including what everyone rolled so y’all know I’m not cheating just so my druid boyfriend can win.  The person with the lowest total score (out of a possible score of 60) goes home.

We've got the main 6 companions, Jaheira, Halsin, Minsc (and Boo), Minthara, Dammon, and my tav Medora (who y'all can just pretend is Alfira if you don't want someone else's tav in the story, since they're both female bards)

Week One, Cake Week: Star baker was Karlach, Minthara went home

Week Two: Biscuit Week, or "Viconia's Walking Florentine"

Signature Challenge: Sandwich Biscuits

Astarion: Bourbon biscuits. He and Shadowheart took a shot right when the bake started. He took a few more shots after that just because he could, and ended up making a bunch of vampire jokes with Noel Fielding. Despite the alcohol handicap, his biscuits turned out quite nice.

Dammon: Dulce de leche and banana biscuits. The dulce de leche overpowered the banana a bit, but the texture of the biscuits themselves were great.

Gale: Tara's coffee biscuits. He really wanted to bring back the memories of caffeine-fueled all-nighters at Blackstaff Academy. He also used a cat-shaped cookie cutter. The biscuits weren't exactly identical, and the coffee cream was a bit too runny.

Halsin: Lavender and vanilla biscuits. He used a duck-shaped cookie cutter because he likes ducks. They were all perfectly identical and the flavors were incredible. He got a Hollywood Handshake for them.

Jaheira: Malted milk biscuits. She wasn't able to get them as identical as she would have liked, and some of the biscuits were a bit underdone.

Karlach: Peanut butter and jelly sandwich biscuits. She was determined to have Paul like something with peanut butter in it. Unfortunately he still doesn't. They were also a bit messy. They were adorable in their messiness though.

Lae'zel: Pistachio custard creams. They were messy, and the dragon cookie cutter she used was a bit too delicate, resulting in some dragons missing their tails.

Medora: Raspberry and almond linzer biscuits. They had a lovely classic flavor profile, and were nearly identical.

Minsc: Coconut biscuits. He tried to use chocolate designs to make them look like tiny coconuts, but it wasn't completely successful. The flavor, however, was nice.

Shadowheart: Blackberry and earl grey biscuits. She tried to shape them like night orchids, colored with activated charcoal. However, the color made it hard to judge whether or not the biscuits were overcooked, and several of them were burned. The earl grey was so faint it was overpowered by the blackberry and the, well, burn.

Wyll: Empire biscuits. He grew up sneaking them from the kitchen as a boy, and wanted to stick to his 'classics done right' style. Unfortunately the biscuits weren't as crisp as Paul and Prue would have liked. Noel still stuck one in his pocket for later though.

Technical Challenge: Coconut Macaroons

(I think I'm going to list them from worst to best from now on)

11. Dammon

10. Shadowheart

9. Medora

8. Karlach

7. Lae'zel or Wyll (they both rolled a 9)

6. Wyll or Lae'zel

5. Halsin

4. Astarion

3. Jaheira

2. Gale

Minsc (honestly how does he keep doing so well idk man)

Showstopper: Gingerbread Showpiece

Astarion: To keep with his Brand, he decided to make a graveyard with several little gingerbread mausoleums and monuments. His, of course, was the biggest and fanciest one, with the door open and a little paper cut-out of himself coming out. Very tongue-in-cheek. Some of the monuments were sloppy, because he had so many he didn't have time to make them all super polished.

Dammon: He did his best to make an anvil, a hammer and a little piece of pulled sugar as the metal to be forged. He then discovered that despite working with molten metal on a regular basis, molten sugar still burns just as much when hitting the skin, and dropped it. He spent so much time on a backup sugar piece that the presentation on his anvil and hammer suffered a tiny bit.

Gale: His scene was an open book with a little wizard casting Fireball standing on the pages. There were huge cracks in the gingerbread book, but the wizard and his fireball were nicely detailed. He wasted a lot of time because he needed the spell piped on to the gingerbread to be ACCURATE DAMMIT.

Halsin: He created a peaceful woodland scene with trees, a family of bears, and some mushrooms. The largest bear broke, but he was able to fix it somewhat and prop it up against a tree. Bears lean against trees all the time. He hoped the judges might think it was purposeful. They saw right through him, however.

Jaheira: Years of helping her children with various projects has paid off. She somehow in the time limit created Wyrm's Crossing and just for show a poured-sugar River Chionthar. That earned her a Hollywood Handshake.

Karlach: She made an impressive replica of her tent, complete with a small army of teddy bear cookies. She even took the time to make little bears shaped like her friends and the judges. When asked if she hadn't wanted to make something more badass, she shrugged and said she could like cracking skulls and teddy bears at the same time.

Lae'zel: Her red dragon looked more like a guinea pig, unfortunately, so she changed her answer last-minute and said it was a giant space hamster. Due to its red color, though, the judges saw right through her story.

Medora: She attempted to create a lute, a mandolin and a drum. The neck of the lute broke and the piping on the drum was far from precise, but it wasn't a complete disaster.

Minsc: He made a treasure chest mimic. Originally he'd wanted the lid to open, but the hinge broke. It was still beautiful regardless, and quite big. It nearly took up the entire counter.

Shadowheart: Her little gingerbread cottage was already precariously lopsided, and when she turned to grab another piping bag it fell completely off the bench and onto the floor.

Wyll: He replicated his favorite park in Baldur's Gate out of gingerbread, even sculpting a statue with modeling chocolate. It was very impressive.

The Results

Our star baker this week with a total of 45/60 is Halsin!

And unfortunately, with a score of 9/60, Shadowheart has to leave the tent.

Feel free to play along, roll bake checks, and comment with what your Tav would make! Yeah I can't be stopped we're on to bread week next.

[percervall]

okay okay hear me out. I was craving a sweet thing and I thought... f1 drivers as dessert items? slightly deranged and silly but I wanna know whether we thought of the same person for these desserts:

1. vanilla cupcake with sprinkles

2. pistachio gelato

3. dark chocolate brownies with sea salt

4. earl grey tea cakes

5. crepes Suzette

6. lemon panna cotta

7. tiramisu

8. caramel milkshake

9. waffles with whipped cream

10. peanut butter and chocolate chip cookie

Putting the shared braincell to the test I see 🤭

Charles –he literally said vanilla is his favourite ice cream flavour

Pierre –🤷🏼‍♀️ an acquired taste? idk the vibes are vibing

Lewis –he is decadence

George –he is so British

Fernando –looks unassuming, but is surprisingly boozy

Valtteri –refreshing, just like him. Also has a slight wiggle, just like him

Carlos –I think by now we have all seen that video

Lando –he is the quintessential basic bitch

Oscar –a classic

Logan –MURICA 🦅

how did I do? 🙊

[pirunika]

what I buy at all times > oats, milk, coffee, brown sugar, earl grey EngLiSh BreAkfAsT tea, peanut butter, chocolate (chips or otherwise), yogurt, potatoes, cucumber, garlic, olive oil, eggs, cream cheese, lavash bread, ricecakes, honey, smoked turkey, store-bought hummus

[ghoulodont]

i saw a post a while ago and i read it and had a chuckle and scrolled by but i wish i had reblogged it here because ill never ever find it again. it was something like "i hate when you get ice cream with someone and they get a cute elegant flavor like earl grey or lavender and you get a gluttonous concoction like peanut butter double brownie blast" and i think its very raindrop

[rainyfestivalsweets]

11/17/24 TW: Childhood trauma shit, nothing in detail but sadistic grandparent mention-I have it labeled below;

Something I am working on this week will be- not bringing stuff into the house that I know I will overeat. Buying 1 pint of halotop at a time and perhaps making a game out of how long I can make it last?

I know on an intellectual level that these foods are engineered to be so damn tasty that you "can't stop." So it is better if I avoid them.

I have plenty I have plenty I have plenty.

My walmart list is full of veggies. I did go last night after dinner and get a few things. 1 pint of halotop, tub sf cool whip. Hopefully to add to protein puddings and not just eat out of the tub.

Here is my food from last night. A major win was- Not eating the Halotop the night I buy it!! Good job!!

The treadmill was a low slow incline walk while multitasking my textbook.

I brought a London fog tea with me but it was too hot to drink most of the night, ugg. Basic recipe is: Giant 40 oz mug, 2 bags of double bergamot earl grey, JOE brand vanilla sf syrup, splash of premier protein vanilla creamer (that was a risk but it worked out).

I should have pre-eaten before the restaurant. I ordered pretty smart- Mahi Mahi grilled, in citrus sauce, a little rice, a little veggies & 2 really tiny sad carrots.

Ya'll this mean was good but.... unsatisfying.

I tried to eat slow and visit & sip water (with my grapefruit LMNT which is my low cal "i want a margarita" hack).

But alas, it was not enough food to be satiated. We had time and my dinner companions suggested ordering dessert, which I didn't want. And all sorts of other sweets in other locations (Crumbl cookie, Insomnia cookies, nothing bundt cakes).... which I didn't want either. I wanted double the veggies and double the protein.

So now I know I either need to order more there or pre-eat. I am proud I didn't do any of the other options. We had time, and it would have been OK overall, but because I didn't "want" them, I didn't want to waste the cals.

I want to save those indulgences for a time where I really want a nice dessert or sweet treat.

After the dinner at 5, we went to a play, called Annie at a local high school. It was lovely.

When I got home it was after 10:30. I nuked some meat I had ready, threw it over some lettuce that needs to be eaten and added some ginger people peanut sauce. Then I visited with mom about some stuff- childhood, Jesus, alcoholism.

Here is where the hard part starts:

My aunt had texted me some stuff that insinuated my dad was a psychopath that hurt animals as a kid, that his Mother demanded he do something that I consider just awful. I responded back to here and haven't heard a peep since. Apparently the situation was something his mother demanded he do "as the man of the house." (FFS) I would never ask a kid to do anything like that, and I don't think there is any excuse for it. They weren't farm kids, they didn't understand life and death and all that jazz.

I suspect that the aunt is going thru dementia. She may be an unreliable narrator. They had a really hard childhood, and she said her mom hated her because she couldn't make it to a state where she could have an abortion. Sounds to me like her mom hates kids and shouldn't have had kids. But apparently hated all sorts of young.

There is no way a child his age would be able to psychologically process that kind of demand. He was just a boy; I now suspect that this was his root cause, the one thing that tormented him the rest of his life, made his suicidal, caused him to question life itself...and it was demanded of him by a terrorizing abuser. Good god, that poor boy.

It hurt to listen to those words about my dad, even knowing 💔 what my childhood was like, which was not ideal. Hearing how he was forced to choose between living at home and something he loved. He wasn't even 10. I now consider his mother a psychopath terrorist.

I am forgiving myself for everything I needed to do to survive. I am forgiving HIM for everything he needed to do to survive.

He was a child in the 50's, being terrorized by young, unready parents with sadistic tendencies. Well, back then it was called "practical."

His dad would an epileptic, but when he had "fits" he would black out and beat the shit out of his wife and kids. He hated his mother and I never fully understood that, but I might understand it more now.

He raised his kids far, far away from where he grew up. Maybe that was his way of protecting us from the tattering remains of those awful people.

Oof. This was going to be a very different post, but I think maybe I just need to get these thoughts out.

He was a soft hearted person in a world that didn't allow softness. His mother demanded he do something awful and I think it scarred him so deeply that he never healed. It makes sense- the alcoholism, the hoarderism.

He was a child and he deserved better.

He was just a child. I was just a child.

Compared to what I know now, he made alot of good choices. To not be a full fledged psychopath serial killer. To not be the person they were raising him to be. He definitely had the super high intelligence but at some point, he found God and God made him want to be a better person, he started walking a brighter path. I know he still had an undiagnosed mental disorder, probably bipolar- but damn, he did good.

[madam-mitsume2023]

The brothers Helping Giant MC in a "Special" Way.

Ever since you were a giant. You were starting to feel insecure. You looked in the Mirror to see your reflection gain weight. But you didn't. A side effect of the potion was negative thoughts because it was mixed with human hormones, so you laid in bed with the cover over you completely only to feel 14 feet or 7 pairs of feet on you. Each one a different weight. "MC, What's the matter? You have failed to make it to class since 2 weeks and you never leave your dorm." Lucifer spoke. Eventually you spill out everything, Lucifer and his brothers discussed something and eventually he cleared his throat.

"We have an idea. But we would need to be in your body for it."

You were confused "We will get rid of your problem internally." He meant you to eat them. You were nervous as the brother's can be out of control at times, with Beel getting hungry, Mammon being easily irritated, Satan getting upset over almost anything and Asmodeus not liking getting dirty. "MC darling, you'll be okay. We'll be okay. At least I can be inside you and you get to taste my great flavor!" Mammon gave his brother a glare "Oi, I am going inside them first!" You were shocked but gently picked up the tan boy who was spooked at first but you gave him a peck, before he could even react he was in your jaws, he had the taste of golden Caramel. He got to smell your fresh breath before sliding down to your pit. He was being hugged through your gullet and you could feel it, you also felt him land which he poked a bit "I'm okay! Whoever ends up next better not land on the Great Mammon!" You giggle and rub your gut. You held out your hand and Beel Levi and Asmo went inside. "Let's get this over with..." Levi went in tasting like grape soda, Asmo tasting like Skittles, and Beel like Beef jerky. They landed on each other but you gave them some soothing rubs. Satan and Belphie both sighed and went in next, Belpie tasting like a Blueberry Muffin and Satan like Peanut Butter. You were assuming that Lucifer saw them causing a ruckus since your stomach was poking a lot hearing them bicker and your gut go off quite a few times. It felt like you could throw up or ot felt really nice, he sighed and went into you hand. "As the eldest I must prevent my brothers from causing our dear friend to feel uncomfortable. With that he went in your maw tasting like Earl Grey Tea. Once you felt him land the ruckus had stopped. You gently laid down and you felt the brothers travel to different parts, they were eating away any fat you didn't like along with the negative thoughts and memories in your brain and heart, making you feel and look more toned and much happier but Beel did all the eating. Satan and Lucifer were killing any familiars in your body that shouldn't be, Mammon and Leviathan were patrolling your whole body, secretly liking it in there. Asmodeus was charming your brain. Making you love yourself more and Belphegor making you rest better. Lucifer even added some pride in your thoughts. They also rested in your body before leaving. Rather it was in or on your heart, lungs, stomach, mouth, you were asleep to, but you felt better thanks to your great friends.