#heart triad core emotion: shame

[isekyaaa]

enneagram vibes

heart triad: insecure

head triad: avoidant

gut triad: leave me tf alone

[rainytypology]

Enneagram Type 4

An overview of an enneagram type. Not an expert. May change later.

___

Type 4

Center: Heart/Image/Shame

Other triads: Reactive, Withdrawn, Frustration

Basic motivation: Create a unique identity, make personal significance

Basic fear: Being forgotten, not feeling important

Wings: 4w3, 4w5

Disintegration/stress: 2

Integration/growth: 1

___

Traits

- Strengths -

In tune with emotions

Expressive and creative

Have an eye for beauty/aesthetics

Empathetic

Tries to be genuine, be themselves

- Weaknesses -

Can be moody and overly sensitive

Self conscious

Feel defective

Can be self pitying

Focus too much on themselves

___

Wings

- 4w3 -

The 3 wing adds a spit of spark to the typically melancholic 4 core. A bit more outgoing and friendly. May feel envious of others more often. Want to have validation and praise for their unique accomplishments. 3 wing helps them set goals, which are usually aligned with expression and creativity. 4s want to make a mark/influence on the world and 3 wants to be successful in making that mark. They want their uniqueness to be seen.

- 4w5 -

4 and 5 are both withdrawn types, so it's no surprise 4w5s are often introverted and/or private. Independent type who does what they want. Can intellectualize their emotions. Can get lost in their own world as they are focused on building their creativity and skills rather than focusing on relationships.

___

Disintegration: 2

Disintegration to 2 can cause a 4 to lose sense of their independence, instead throwing themselves into relationships. They want to be rescued somehow without putting much effort into building genuine connections. Very clingy and intrusive.

Integration: 1

Integration to 1 can cause a 4 to become more objective and more bold to take actions towards their desired goals and dreams. They learn not to be trapped in their self absorptions. They learn to control/balance their feelings so they are less moody. Integrating 4s have a desire to contribute to the world and make a better difference rather than simply only doing things they want whenever they want.

___

Subtypes of 4

- Sp 4 -

Sp 4 is the most internalized and least expressive about their pain and suffering compared to the typical 4. They learn to deal with it by themselves. They want to be recognized and accepted for being so "tough" for not complaining about going through heavy things. They may instead look for those who are visibly suffering in order to provide empathy and help for them.

- Sx 4 -

Sx 4 is the most expressive and intense. They want to be their most authentic selves and chase after their desires. They are very deliberate in trying to attract others with their unique and genuine character - with the way they dress, act, any sort of self expression, they need people to like their uniqueness. They can be more assertive with their needs, which can be used to cover up the actual sadness they have inside. They have a deep need to prove they are worthy.

- So 4 -

So 4 is the most connected to their suffering and will openly show this. They compare themselves a lot to others and feel shame for not having the traits they envy. They want to be accepted but fear their flaws will drive people away. Inferiority and victim complex. There is a lot of inner conflict of wanting to be original and different but fearing having something wrong with them and longing for others acceptance.

___

Enneagram list

___

Side blogs:

Kpop astrology @rainy-astrology

Kpop fanarts @rainy-artworks

[anchesann0]

Tadase is actually a Type 3 Enneagram

Hear me out.

In my last post (now deleted), I thought Tadase was a Type 2 Helper. Caring, supportive of others, gentle, etc. However when I rewatched the arc when he nearly lost Kiseki, his upbringing, and his motivations and fears, I realize he suited another Type much more.

The Type 3 Achiever.

Type 3 Achievers are motivated to be successful and fear being worthless/ unable to live to up to ideals. According to the Wisdom of the Enneagram by Don Richard Russo and Russ Hudson, Type 3s' form of success often are defined by their family, culture, or social sphere. This often makes them the "Golden Child" and often takes on roles in leadership to uphold this idea of success (which greatly correlates to why he's the King's chair).

Tadase's childhood and upbringing actually emphasizes this quite heavily.

In the book, it's stated that Type 3s, at an early age, learn what activities or actions were valued by peers and parents. Type 3s place their energies into cultivating these values for a sense of validation.

Type 3s often have a deep emotional bond with a guardian figure in their lives that they respect, often hoping for validation from this specific person. This leads to their subconscious trying to live up to these expectations from said guardian.

As part of the heart/shame triad, there is a desire of being loved, but feeling that he needs to earn it. Type 3s do it by upholding the world's definition of success & achievement.

This can be seen in how Tadase's grandmother and father prized good morals and were incredibly direct about what they want Tadase to become. Tadase seems to try to live up to his grandmother's expectations the most out his other guardian figures in his life. He keeps her calligraphy of "Ambition" in his room to motivate him and gives her flowers whenever he can.

However, in the Type 3s pursuit of values that others reward, they "lose" touch with who they are, questioning what they value or if they are living up to the expectations other set for them, much like Tadase's case when he doubts whether he can become stronger and live up to his grandmother's expectations. It is due to this doubt that he falls for the temptation of the Black Diamond CD that slowly corrupts Kiseki into an X-egg.

Another reason why he is Type 3 core is because of his core sin of "Self- deceit." Each Enneagram Type have a capital sin that they accidentally partake in. Utau's type 8 is the "lust" for strength, doing whatever it takes to get it, even if it means trampling others to have it. For Type 3s, it's deceiving oneself.

Type 3s convince themselves that they live up to this "Idealized image" and hide their insecurities of inadequacy. Kiseki is his idealized image of a strong person and this difference made Tadase feel that he did not deserve Kiseki.

This self-deceit is really evident in Tadase. He deceives himself into believing that he's not strong enough when in reality, it was his kindness that was the mark of a true king that people would follow.

He's deceived himself into believing that Amu and Amulet Heart are two separate entities. And he crushes on his "Ideal" version of Amu. (In a sense, this raises the debate other whether he liked Amulet Heart or wanted to be that ideal. In his own words, he said: "I've never met a a girl that cheerful, bright and strong.")

But nonetheless he often pursues the ideal, even in others. This is unfortunately & incredibly evident in how he views people negatively too. Such as...

Tadase unfortunately deals with Ikuto by the negative ideal image Tadase has of Ikuto.

Which brings me to his character arc and development to growth.

Stress to nine: In Tadase's pursuit of becoming stronger (which he deems as success), he creates stresses and conflicts within himself. This stress causes him to become complacent instead of continuously working to become who he wants to be. He had previously challenged his shy self to stand in front of crowds or get into fights to prevent it. However, when stressed, Tadase was ready to take the unhealthy 9s path of avoidance, avoiding the issue, letting them grow worse.

Back to 3: The way Kiseki is saved is having Amu remind him that the side he believes is weak (his kind side) is actually his strength. The acknowledgement of his own efforts and growth aren't tossed aside and this helps lead to his self-actualization:

Growth to 6: One of the other arcs that challenges Tadase is his confrontation to Ikuto after learning that Ikuto had been secretly staying with Amu, his crush. However, with proper support, Tadase was able to unlock (no pun intended) the path to Type 6. Having goals that transcend personal interest, bias, or deceit to face the difficult truth.

This is really interesting because he was always on the path to healthy 6 habits of thinking of others and committing to something bigger than himself, however he couldn't get there all the way until he really overcame... well, himself.

He does share Type 2 qualities, but I think I can say with confidence that he is Type 3 wing 2, sharing qualities and desires of both.

[sunlikesdrawing]

Time to rant about enneagrams once again, and IT'S TOBI'S TURN THIS TIME AROUND

(This post is a countinuation from this)

I want to go more into detail about Fenn too cause I didn't mention his tri-center last time, and that's also an important aspect about enneagram, so I might mention him at some point.

(Just to be clear, I still have a lot to learn about enneagram, so some things I say might not be completely accurate to theory)

I'll start by giving a quick (spoiler: it wasn't that quick) definition of what a tri-center is, just so you don't have to look it up. To keep it simple, the nine different enneagram types divide in 3 centers of intelligence: the heart/feeling triad (2, 3 and 4), the gut/instinctive triad (8, 9 and 1) , and the head/thinking triad (5, 6 and 7). We all have a primary center that belongs to one of these triads, but since we humans aren't all gut, all heart or all mind, we also have a center from the other two triads. These don't tend to be as predominant as the primary, but they're still there and they define the way our other ways of processing the world apart from our main work. Each center is also tied to certain emotions: anger and rage for gut, guilt and shame for heart, and fear and anxiety for head.

Actually, to put Fenn as an example: he'a a type 1, a gut type. His wing is a 2, so he shares many things with heart types as well (this actually fits his character pretty well). His tri-center would be 1-2-6 (he's likely a 6, but he could possibly be a 5 too).

Now, going back to Tobi.

He's definitely been a lot more complicated to define than Fenn. I'm pretty sure he's a type two, but I don't know whether he's w3 or w1, which leads me to think he might have balanced wings (shares equal amount of qualities from both), or that I'm just misstyping him.

Twos are loving, compassionate, adapting, generous, supportive, and tuned in to how people feel. Their core desire is to feel loved and wanted for who they are, while their fear is being unloved or unneded, and when they're unhealthy they can become people pleasers, (and here's where I feel like we start drifting away from Tobi a little->) manipulative, martyr-like and intrusive.

The thing is, type two and nine very often get misstyped for the other because they're very similar, and I'm actually still unsure about which one Tobi is. But assuming his core is two, his tri-center would still be 2-9-6 (heart, gut, head in that order), so the nine is still present there. Another thing to add is when a type is in stress or unhealthy, it tends to start behaving like a different one. In 2s case it would be 8, but I believe Tobi might have 9 tendencies when stressed (stressed 9s tend to neglect serious issues, repress negative emotions, become people pleasers and act passive-agressive). Either that, or he's just actually a 9 type, and then his tri-center would be 9-2-6.

WOW OK THIS GOT LONGER THAN I WAS EXPECTING. I was gonna talk about the wings next, but I think I might leave that to another post so this doesn't become an essay lmao

[cinderella-ish]

Fruits Basket Personality Types Part 3: Tohru Honda

Okay, I'm super excited to get into each character's personality type! Rather than stating what Enneagram and MBTI type I think they are out front, and then working to provide evidence, I want to start from scratch. What this means is that in figuring out their Enneagram, I'll list things like their childhood wound or core desire as presented in the manga/anime without worrying about making it match any of the types as laid out in my first personality types post, and for the MBTI, I'll try and figure out their orientations, processes, and type dynamics independent of each other first, and then look at whether my assessment of those elements is cohesive for them.

We'll also go slightly deeper into each character's most likely type (in both systems), looking at things like their Enneagram subtype and wings, and the description and nickname of their MBTI.

Tohru Honda's Enneagram

Wound: Tohru lost her father at a young age, and then almost lost her mother, too. She was left alone for a long period at an age where she couldn't yet take care of herself, and had to grow up much too early. She adopted her father's mannerisms (poorly) out of fear that she'd lose her mother if she didn't find some way to keep him alive. She had trouble making friends, too, so I'd say loneliness plays a big part in her wound.

Wounding message: You must take on your father's traits, or you'll lose your mother, too.

Core desire: This is tricky, since Tohru struggles to articulate her desires, but I think she truly desires to be surrounded by people she loves, and to help them as much as she can.

Core fear: Tohru's greatest fear is losing the people she loves.

Defense mechanism: Tohru's defense mechanism is to repress her authentic self- her needs, her desires, even her personality- to avoid pushing people away.

Strengths: Tohru has a wonderful gift for understanding people, and provides a non-judgmental, supportive listening ear. She's endlessly giving and a reliable friend.

Challenges: Tohru goes along with what others want and doesn't ask for help to a problematic degree. She's spacey and takes forever to make important decisions, often because she struggles to look inward.

When healthy: When Tohru is most in-tune with herself (like we see at the end of the story), she's more stubborn and outspoken, but still with all the warmth and compassion that makes her so wonderful.

When unhealthy: Tohru represses herself and fails to acknowledge her difficult emotions, becoming even more of a pushover.

Looking at all of this, here's what connects when I go back to the Enneagram post:

Wound: could be 2, 4, or 9

Wounding message: could be 2, 3, or 9

Core desire: could be 2, 3, 8, or 9

Core fear: very strongly 9, though with elements of 2 and 3

Defense mechanism: again very strongly 9, though 2 is close as well

Strengths: 2 or 9, with elements of 5

Challenges: very strongly 9

When healthy: 2, 5, or 9

When unhealthy: 3 and 9

I initially thought Tohru was a 2, because she is endlessly giving and puts other's needs before her own. However, Twos become needy, demanding, and possessive when stressed, and Tohru is much the opposite, withdrawing and becoming more complacent and indecisive when stressed. This is why I see Tohru as an Enneagram 9.

Nines will often numb out with distractions, like video games, etc... At first, I had trouble seeing this for Tohru, but then I read that Nines can also use hard work as a means of avoiding their difficult emotions, which describes Tohru perfectly.

In the header graphic of my Enneagram post, that diagram separates the types into triads centered around the head, the heart, and the body (which I refer to as the gut). Types 2-4 are heart types, and their controlling emotion is sadness or shame. Types 5-7 are head types, and their controlling emotion is fear. And types 8, 9, and 1 are gut types, and their controlling emotion is anger.

In each triad, one type will overexpress their controlling emotion, one will underexpress it, and one will repress it. Nines underexpress anger, which absolutely fits Tohru. Additionally, conflict feels more intense for Tohru than for most, which is a key part of Nines.

Wing

Nines tend to have some things in common with either Eights or Ones, called their "Wing." Eight only appeared once in my connections, and One didn't appear at all. (This is probably why I didn't understand her character very well at first! As a One with a Two wing, I really didn't connect with Nine.)

The Enneagram Institute refers to 9w8s as "The Referee," and 9w1s as "The Dreamer." Tohru seems like more of a Dreamer than a referee to me.

Truity describes the two wings like this:

9w8: The Nine wing Eight type is a Nine who shares many of the Type Eight characteristics. This type is independent, social, adaptable, and generally more assertive and direct than other Nines. 9w1: The Nine wing One type is a Nine who has many of the same features as the Type One personality. This type is hardworking, friendly, modest, and generally more serious and diligent than other Nines.

Yeah, I think 9w1 fits Tohru best!

Subtype

Additionally, people will have a Subtype, either Self-Preservation (SP), Sexual (SE), or Social (SO). This refers to the survival instinct that the person prioritizes, whether physical needs (SP), community membership (SO), or intimate, 1:1 connection (SE - this does not always refer to actual sexual connection).

Tohru has a strong focus on her "most important person." At first, that's her mother, and then it becomes Kyo. For this reason, I think she's a SE 9w1. (And Enneagram Explained says that SE Nines can often look like Twos!)

Tritype

There's also something called a Tritype, which identifies the strongest Type in each center for a person. I think it's pretty clear that Tohru's Tritype would include both 9 and 2, but her Head type is a little harder to figure, but ultimately, I think the 2-6-9 Tritype (The Good Samaritan) is the best fit, as described on Katherine Fauvre's website:

If you are a 269, you are caring, inquisitive and accepting. You want to be helpful, supportive, and peaceful. You like people and want to find ways to engage with them. Your sense of pride comes from getting along with others and being of assistance. You are known for your kindness, easygoing, and friendly disposition. You will push for what you think is needed but may struggle with being seen as passive or quietly passive-aggressive.

Tohru Honda's MBTI

E vs. I: This is tough, because I see elements of both E and I, but I think Tohru generally prefers to focus her attention outwardly, and thus is more likely to be an E.

S vs. N: Again, I don't feel terribly confident here, but I'd lean toward N. She makes some pretty big leaps in connecting ideas throughout the series.

T vs. F: Tohru is quite clearly an F, making decisions based on her values rather than her logic, and focusing on how her decisions affect other people.

J vs. P: Tohru is also quite clearly a P, taking a lot of time to gather information before coming to a decision.

Type Dynamics: Without working out what an ENFP's type dynamics are (since that's my most likely guess for Tohru), I see Tohru's Type Dynamics as Fi Ne Si Te.

Fi: Tohru is highly empathetic and tends to keep her feelings to herself, expressing her values instead through her actions.

Ne: Tohru tends to brainstorm aloud quite often (sometimes as a way of avoiding her feelings).

Si: Tohru has a strong recall of specific details from past situations, which she uses to inform the present.

Te: this is harder for me to see in Tohru, but I think the way she went about trying to break the curse might be an example of her Extroverted Thinking Inferior Process, as she showed concern for outside rules and laws, and worked toward her goal in a relatively systematic way.

This... actually fits INFP, which would probably be my second guess for Tohru. She does have a rich inner world that she rarely shows to others. ENFP would be Ne Fi Te Si - close, but in a slightly different order of importance and development.

Now, let's check the descriptions for ENFP and INFP:

ENFP: Warmly enthusiastic and imaginative. See life as full of possibilities. Make connections between events and information very quickly, and confidently proceed based on the patterns they see. Want a lot of affirmation from others, and readily give appreciation and support. Spontaneous and flexible, often rely on their ability to improvise and their verbal fluency. INFP: Idealistic, loyal to their values and to people who are important to them. Want to live a life that is congruent with their values. Curious, quick to see possibilities, can be catalysts for implementing ideas. Seek to understand people and to help them fulfill their potential. Adaptable, flexible, and accepting unless a value is threatened.

To me, INFP is a slightly better fit. INFPs are also sometimes called "The Mediator," or "The Healer," which suits Tohru quite well!

So, to summarize:

Enneagram: SE 9w1 (The Peacemaker/The Dreamer)

Tritype: 2-6-9 (The Good Samaritan)

MBTI: INFP (The Mediator/The Healer)

What do you think? Did I get it right or wrong? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Next up: Akito!

Fruits Basket Personality Types Series: Enneagram | MBTI | Akito | Kyo | Yuki | Haru | Kisa | Momiji | Hatori | Ayame | Rin | Hiro | Ritsu | Kureno | Shigure | Kagura | Kazuma | Saki | Arisa | Machi | Kakeru | The Hondas | Kaibara Students

[paimonial-rage]

Thank you so much for sharing 'Wisdom of the Enneagram' with us. It's so interesting learning about the different types in depth and helpful for analyzing characters!

Recently, I've been trying to pinpoint the traveler. Do you have any thoughts on Aether's enneagram type? (#3) Thank you in advance <3

I'm answering this out of order because oh my God I did not think anyone actually paid attention to those tags HAHA. I can't believe you actually looked up that book I am honestly like both impressed and flattered. It is a super helpful book to understanding characters and their motivations.

[Character Analysis Ask Meme]

What is Aether's enneagram type?

Analysis below!

I'm going to answer your question in a more train of thought process because the Traveler is a really interesting character. They're meant to be a faceless character we can project ourselves on, but they certainly do have a personality. That being said, do we know enough about their personality to be able to pinpoint an ennea? If I have to be honest with you, I don't have a set idea of what they can be.

The best way to do process of elimination with ennea is to focus on the triads. What is their core emotion? Shame (heart triad), fear (head triad), or anger (gut triad)? Do they have issues with identity (heart triad), security/anxiety (head triad), or autonomy/control (gut triad)?

The hard thing about the Traveler is that the only time they show emotion is when it has to do with their sibling. But what else do we know about them? They don't like being tricked. They don't like being obligated to do things out of the goodness of their heart. They're friendly. They like cracking jokes. They like playing around.

I think, with what we're given, we can throw the heart triad out right from the start. The traveler shows no signs of shame. They have no issues with their self-image. Based upon their bond with their twin and Paimon, the answer seems to lean the most to wanting support and guidance. But can it be said their core emotion is fear? Could it possibly be anger instead?

Unfortunately I'm going to have to cheat a bit here and go based purely off of my knowledge of actual people and their types. If the traveler is a head type, the only type they can be is a 7. 5 and 6 simply are not their vibe. They'd probably be a 7w8. That being said, a 7's core aspects do not match that of the Traveler as seen above.

If the Traveler is a gut type, the only types they can be is a 9w8 or a 1w9. Simply put, they are not aggressive enough to be an 8. The argument for 9w8 is that... well... this type I fall to when most other types don't match. HAHA A 9w8 is primarily peace seeking, but won't hesitate to fight and assert themselves if they see the need to. The core aspects of a 9 match as well, as seen below.

The argument for 1w9, though, and also the one I'm leaning more towards is that 1s are very judgmental. And the Traveler is extremely judgmental. LOL 9w8s literally don't care. Just leave them alone. 1s, on the other hand, typically have superiority complexes. LOL Not to say that the Traveler does, but I digress. Unlike 9s, the Traveler does not hesitate to judge. They are self-driven and won't hesitate to make decisions based upon what they feel to be right. That being said, the core aspects do not match, at least with what we know of the Traveler currently.

So those are my picks as to their possible type. I am leaning more towards 1w9, even though we don't have enough canon evidence to support it. Probably a 1w9 so/sx. But if we go based off of canon evidence, they'd probably be a 9w8.

[myst867]

Harmony, Reddit, The Directory, And Me

As you can probably tell from my last few posts I've been very angry about some of the actions - or more accurately- lack of action of the biggest Harmony group HMS Harmony in their reddit space R/HPHarmony. They allowed a discussion post, which was just a bunch of negative comments about the author and her story. There were gems like how it left a sour taste in the reader's mouth- how its no wonder she wrote Dramione too. Multiple comments about how they couldn't force themselves through it. Any defense of the fic or author was met with "well she put it out there so we are allowed to rip it to shreds" (liberties taken with the quote b/c that's exactly what they meant) and while it is the internet and people are prone to be jerks here - a space specifically dedicated to Harmony - for a pairing that's based above all on friendship at it's core - that type of behavior and bashing should not be allowed. And it's not even the first time it has been allowed. However, it will be the last time I stand by and do nothing except comment how the post or commentators are inappropriate.

Fanfiction is free emotional labor, time, creativity, ect. Because of that, the way readers need to approach leaving feedback is different. We must be kind and supportive, or simply scroll on. Harmony spaces have been especially toxic to authors and as a shipping community we need to take a stand against such behavior.

From the moderator's response to my protests - which is screenshot on another post of mine - there will be no change to the behavior of that group so I will create my own group and spaces where I can establish a friendly pro-Harmony community without the same judgment and toxicity. With that in mind, I have moved the Harmony directory and I am no longer following the rules of the HMS Harmony space. This means I am adding to the directory to include Triads and Polyships in which Harry/Hermione are a part of. The directory has been moved to a new space I created R/HarryAndHermione where you are welcome to come discuss Harry/Hermione ships and genres without fear of the contradictions within the HMS Group. The community is intended to be open and respectful for reading preferences, writers, and fanfics. Bashing will not be tolerated. Shaming someone for their reading preferences will not be tolerated. In addition to creating an alternative Reddit space, I do have my own discord which is an 18+ multi-ship discord with the same philosophy if anyone would like to join. Lastly me. It's been hard being angry at people I respect and developed friendships with. I care about the mods and truly believe at heart they are good people. It's been hard "fighting" with them. I don't like to fight, I want to have fun and promote stories and this particular relationship I fell in love with writing about. Some have said I believe myself godlike or that I'm a hypocrite for how I'm against bashing and yet I am "bashing" their group. I don't know. I wish I was perfect and had the right answers. I don't. I just know that kind of treatment is wrong, and its not something I can turn the other cheek to. It's hard to write when I'm angry because I write best when I'm happy. I need to get to that happy place again and that means moving past this incident and focusing on creating. Creating my own stories, creating my own community where I will promote the acceptance and friendship I want to see in this shipping community. If you feel the same way, you're invited!

[kendrixtermina]

Getting A Bit More Specific on the Three Aversive Emotions

I hadn’t put these on tumblr & it occurred to me that I probably should  

i think the aversive emotions associated with the various functionalities are sometimes too broadly defined, because, obvsly, everyone experiences the basic emotions. Everyone has "fears" thats why every type gets a core fear.

The key is in thinking about how its connected to the corresponding function.

mental triad - anticipatory anxiety about future situations. You see the natural feedback loop there that ties into the concern with planning: Being worried about the future may cause you to plan or consider the big picture, but in doing so you may think of yet more reasons to be worried. Ppl who have the mental center last in their trifix indeed tell you that they just don't worry very often.

impulse triad - frustration at not getting your will. This, too, follows pretty naturally as, in reality, your impulses & desires to do certain things will be met with resistance. Not getting their will makes ppl really, really angry. One way to justify that you should get your will is to claim that it is only just, so thats how the connection to concerns of justice comes in. Also it's clear how this very frustration in turn drives you to take further action.

emotional triad - embarrassment about not being how you think you should be. There's been lots of ways by different authors to frame this (shame? sadness? anxiety? mostly ppl thinking thinking "shame" sounds too moralistic/draconian) but I think it just comes down to plain embarrassment - which is markedly a social emotion, to do with evaluation of self, sometimes in a relational context. So it's hopefully clear how it's connected to self-concept and the personal-relational perspective which "live" in the "heart" center.

Recently we had this thread about the "5 basic fears", basically impulse types tended toward loss of autonomy, the mental types toward the various options to do with one's physical destruction, and the heart types towards an option that was described as "ego death" - encompassing humiliation, invalidation, one's sense of identity being undermined. (so, by no means just peanuts) - in the extreme end we can get from mere embarrassment to self-judgment or self-hate, as one does see in those types.

You can work out someone's heart fix by seeing what triggers embarrassment. Are they embarrassed about agreeing too easily or seeming to like the same thing as the majority? 4 fix. Are they embarrassed about being seen as selfish or needy? 2. Embarrassed of situationally inappropriate behavior or lack of socially accepted accomplishments? 3.

Though, obviously, if this is the last fix the person wouldn't think of this too much.

[nexyra]

As promised... Here is my RWBY Enneagram chat !

Here are close-ups for the text (can be hard to read on tumblr)

If you're not an avid typologist you might ask... What IS Enneagram ? And it is my duty to at least quickly introduce you to the concept & not just dump this chart on you :D

For an extensive reading of each type, you can check out this link

And for a quick overview : Enneagram is a typology system (like MBTI or Socionics). It can be a pretty helpful tool, because its focus lies on WHY you act the way you do : discussing the coping mechanism that built themselves out of your childhood struggles/traumas (big & small).

Enneagram is about your core fears, motivations, and how you relate to 3 main emotions (fear, anger & shame). There are 9 types, divided in 3 groups for each emotion & distinguishing 3 main ways to react to them.

Head types deal with Fear

Heart types deal with Shame

Gut types deal with Anger

And the three main ways Enneagram describes to deal with these emotions are : Embrace, Dissociate and Deny.

If I use the Gut types as an example :

Type 1 DISSOCIATE and detach themselves from their anger. They're aware that they're frustrated & angry, but resist this emotion because they want to rationalize it, and only share anger when they feel it is deserved. Their frustration eventually leaks out, and 1s become overly critical. By keeping their emotions and expressions on such a tight leash, 1s grow frustrated and appear as controlled & rigid individuals.

Type 9 DENY and avoid their anger. They numb it until they can barely recognize that they're angry at all. They dumb down or run away from pain & confrontation, in search for simple and painless solutions. Anger has never done anything for them, so they don't feel as though it is worth losing so much energy over. Since they tend to avoid conflict, 9s appear complacent and agreeable.

Type 8 EMBRACE and control their anger. They accept it as part of who they are, and don't care to tone it down for the sake of others. Infused with their anger, they become tough & assertive, chasing away vulnerability and those who would try to control them. Anger protects them, and they use it as a tool. Because they refuse to show weakness and see no reason to bend for others, 8s appear agressive and confrontational.

The same gymnastic happens for the Head or Heart types, but with their respective emotions. Technically, as the 3 groups each deal with different emotions; anyone trying to use enneagram to analyze their own behaviour should also be able to find 3 types (one in each group) they're able to relate to ! Together they make up your tritype :)

There is of course a lot more to enneagram that I woud love to delve into (such as the triads, which are another way to look at the types repartition and what aspects they have in common) but this is the gist of it ! If you're interested or have any questions, you can check out more links at the end (and the Amino community I'm in) oooor just ask me questions !! I'll always be happy to help or answer

Tests do exist like for any personnality theory BUT I happen to know & think they suck; because no one knows & understands you as well as yourself. You can check out answer in an online test, but you can't tell him WHY you chose that answer, and the why is what matters most in Enneagram. So... If that's your kind of thing, just slowly gets to know the theory and yourself. There is NEVER any rush.

Good evening to you all ! *bows*

Enneagram - Rule of Three Enneagram - Healthy or not ? Integration & Disintegration Enneagram - The Triads

[zuko-always-lies]

Azula-related rant that has to do with personality typings!

So! The Enneagram type theory states that everyone is an Enneagram type, represented by a number which indicates their core desire. There are Nine Enneagram types, labeled 1 through 9. They also have a wing which impacts some of their tendencies, and is one of the types on either side of them. For example, a type 2 could be a 2w1 or a 2w3.

Anyway, the theory also states that you have 2 fixes, or subtypes, which come from certain parts of the triad, and represent how you deal with certain emotions.

So, everyone has a core type and 2 subtypes from these triads:

Gut triad (Anger): Type 8 (The Challenger), Type 9 (The Mediator), Type 1 (The Perfectionist)

Heart triad (Shame): Type 2 (The Giver), Type 3 (The Achiever), Type 4 (The Individualist)

Head triad (Fear): Type 5 (The Investigator), Type 6 (The Loyalist), Type 7 (The Enthusiast)

Now for the Azula-related part of this mini-rant. The internet has pretty much unanimously agreed that she is a 3, The Achiever. Fine. But almost EVERYONE believes that her gut fix is 8, and it annoys me because it’s tied to character misconceptions.

People with an 8 fix deal directly with their anger. They use it as fuel to obtain power and be self-reliant, and they often view relying on others/showing emotions as weak by nature. They are often contrary and defiant, as they are also part of the assertive triad.

Personally, I believe Azula’s gut fix is 1, which is about perfectionism. Type 1s repress their anger (which I think Azula wants to do: she’s just not always good at it), and are always trying to keep themselves in line with a specific set of values. This is what Azula does! Everything she does is in line with the values she has been given. In addition, Type 8s have a tendency to break the established rules and distrust authority. Azula does not do this. She trusts the rules so much that they become her moral compass.

People giving her an 8 fix annoys me because it stems from the misconception that Azula is aggressive and power-hungry (not that every 8 is like this! There are plenty of healthy people with an 8 fix), when in reality, she deals with her anger by repressing it and trying to become perfect by her own standards.

Hopefully that wasn’t too confusing! I’m just an Azula stand and a personality nerd! Anyway I hope you have a great day:)

Well, I'm certainly not very familiar with this personality type theory, but that absolutely seems in line with how people mischaracterize her. And I do kind of wonder how people miscategorize Zuko in this system.

[iammissingautumn]

Dream SMP Enneagram Types

as in /rp /dsmp. come into my inbox and argue with me about this

Wilbur is a 3w4, Tommy is a 7w8, Tubbo is a 9w1 (but argument for balance is fair)

Ranboo is a 6w5 phobic, Techno is a 8w9, Niki 9w1 (theres a good argument for 6), Phil 5w6

Quackity 3w4, Slimecicle 7w6, Fundy 4w3, Purpled 1w9

Sam 1 (balance wing?), Ponk 3w2, Hannah 1w2

Karl 2w3, Sapnap 4w3, bbh i’m so unsure of tbh, Skeppy 7w8

Puffy 2w1, Shlatt 8w7, Jack Manifold 3w2,

I’m only gonna drop some explanations for ones i think can be more up in the air, but i have plenty of thoughts if anyone is curious.

So Wilbur gets pegged as an 8 a lot but I think that’s wrong especially after his revival. Even though there’s an association with his character and the 8 type through the song a lot of signs point to 3 but it really comes down to how he interacts with the shame/guilt and image triad.

As a refresher, the enneagram has three triads, 891 234, and 567. 234 is the heart/feelings triad, the shame triad and the image triad. Which are a lot of words to just say that this triad processes things through their emotions first, the negative feeling that most commonly hold them down is shame, and they care a lot about their self image (whether that’s how they perceive themself or how others perceive them depends on the person and such). We’re gonna mostly focus on the image and shame triad bits of this.

We learned when he was revived that he had lied to Philza in the letters he had written to him. He had told Phil that everything had been okay, he didn’t really mention the catastrophe that occurred to him and instead lied in playing down the wars and elections and not even mentioning that he had been exiled. He lied to his own father while his mental state all went down the drain. When he started talking about why he did it he said he didn’t want to worry Phil and would he feel bad if he reported the reality of it all. He felt shame for not having a good time. He felt guilty that his life could be a burden on his father. So he lied. To protect his image. To let Phil think he was still his happy son.

You also see 3isms in President Soot but i don’t want to get into it atm.

I had initially put Sam down as a 5 with Phil but changed upon a prompt while talking to my friend. The thing with Sam is that his core nature comes down to “must protect the server”. In a Type 1 lens, for him that means that he sees protecting the server as his arbitrary rule. What makes him valuable (in his mind) is his the fact that he protects. Specifically with the prison but in other smaller ways as well. Type 1’s key motivation is this idea of being Good. Which is usually put in place by self established rules. Sam has this in the ways he protects the server. He sees anything he does as protecting the server therefore the ends justify the means. He can cut off his boyfriend’s arm, he can threaten people, anything. If they are threatening the server he doesn’t want them to have control over him, which is the exact reason he didn’t want Tommy to be close to Dream because as he’s said, if Dream threatened to kill Tommy Sam would have let Dream out.

Fundy’s abandonment issues make him a 4 /hj

Anyways ask me about characters i missed or other explanations bc there’s no neat way about explaining them on one post so it’s easier to just go by that basis. Love the enneagram.

[istj-hedonist]

what if you have a 6-core but a strong secondary 3-fix? can that change the “bad view on disintegration point” thing? i actually resonate a lot with a 3 mindset and often envy core 3s in several ways

i really do like tritype as a concept but i have to agree with it's critics when they complain about people using it too much to explain their (supposedly but not actual) core.

-> can that change the “bad view on disintegration point” thing?

no.

i can see why the 3-6-9 triad is especially fucked up to figure out because they all integrate in each other. but the directions are clear?

when do the 3-themes pop up more in your life? during times of stress (6-core) or during times of growth (9-core) or are they constantly in the background (3-core). with the little information you gave i would suggest 3-core because neither 6s nor 9s "envy" 3s. envy is an emotion of shame which would suggest heart-core.

[littlx-songbxrd]

Hey! 😊 So I'm struggling a bit with the whole shame thing in relation to fours and how that works and I was wondering if you could explain it or maybe offer some resources I could look at? I've tried searching online but I can't find anything.

Ofc!

Sorry its taken this long, i felt drained from academic responsabilities and then constant power outages were not helping. But lights stabilized for now so :DD

Ok so, fours are part of the heart triad (234) which means their leading emotion is shame. All three types in this traid experience shame as their core, but the all manifest and cope with the emotion in a different way.

The way it works for 4s is quite peculiar, since their feelings of shame stem from their inner struggle to be known. From a young age, fours feel othered. They feel as if they are unlike anyone around them, leading them to develop the mentality that being unlike anyone means they are broken. That theres ssomething inherently wrong with them. Fundamentalky flawed.

They harbor the feeling of otherness to the point they grow ashamed of being so different. It hurts them, because what they want most in the world is for someone to look at them and finally understand all they are. To appreciate that which theyve been ridiculed for. To finally be understood rather than othered.

But the world isnt always so kind to fours, so they are left being told that they are unlike anyone and develop shame from their otherness. How they cope with this pain is to turn what makes them othered into the prime point of their personality. This might sound a bit conflicting, but i think it can be summed up in

"You wanted me to become a monster, so I became one"

They take pride of all their othered traits in order to cope with how alianated they feel. They wont let anyone bother them, so they'll show their difference head first and dare anyone to disagree. They ready feel unlike anyone, why not fully embrace it. If they wont fit in, fine, they will entirely not fit in and screw however says anything about it.

Thats why 4s are so offended when people call them ordinary, or the lovely word "normal". You mean to tell them theyve spent their entire lifes ostracized for someone to dare mention they are just like everyone else??" Its a way of invalidating their pain, theyve spent so long trying to use their otherness as a shield to not get hurt and now people want to say it was all in their head??

In summary, fours feelings of fundamental flawness is what stems their shame. And to deal with shame they take pride in what the world tells them is wrong with them.

[mbtistufff]

Okay so I’m really confused how to figure out my enneagram type for sure because I’m definitely 378 but I’m not sure which is my primary type I guess. I’ve figured out my wings (7w8, 8w7, 3w2) and I’ve been trying to figure out for a while now but still can’t say for certain which one is my core type. Is there any way to know for sure which one I am besides the generic and pretty vague things I always see on websites? (I’m an ENTP if that helps in the slightest)

What enneagram 3, 7, and 8 have in common in that they are all on the aggressive triad. If all of them are in your tritype I can see how it could be hard to figure out which one comes first. Go research how each type deals with their emotions and responds to stress, because they are quite different. Look at your own behavior when you're in a stressful situation and see which type it lines up with more.

Also, think about what motivates you the most. Are you motivated to achieve success in the world and seek to feel valued in doing so (type 3), to avoid pain and discomfort by seeking out fun, exciting experiences (type 7), or do you try to be strong and avoid vulnerability while protecting those around you (type 8)?

One final thought; consider which emotion sits inside of you the most: shame, anger, or fear. Enneagram 3s feel shame at their core, enneagram 7s feel fear, and enneagram 8s feel anger. There are actually good websites out there that can expand on this too (search heart, head, and gut triads for the enneagram).

(As for being an ENTP, this could work with either of these enneagram types. ☺️)

[intp-tells-it-like-it-is]

i’m pretty sure i’m an INTP (i did extensive research on the cognitive functions and made a lot of self discoveries on the way which was also nice) but i’m not sure if i’m an enneagram 9w8 sp/sx or a 3w4 sp/sx...so i have two questions:

1.) i wanted to ask what it’s like being an INTP 3w4? like what factors makes you different from other INTPs?

for 3, i relate to: puts feelings and emotions aside to get things done, adapts themselves to the expectations of others, fear of rejection, having a habit of cutting off people before because of the fear that they might see how i “really” am and not the “character” i made to present to them, wanting to be affirmed, wanting to feel valuable and worthwhile l, wanting to distinguish my self, to have attention, to be admired, and to impress others. i also relate to the fear of failure but only when someone witnesses it. if no one sees it, i would be fine. the childhood of the enneagram 3’s also hit home. i learned to adjust myself to the “reactions and subconscious expectations of my nurturing figure” and “knew which behaviors would produce approving looks and smiles” (quoting from Don Riso’s book).

i think the only reason why i think i’m an enneagram 9w8 is because i’m pretty laidback and easy going, i’m scared of being noticed by the public, i am able to draw boundaries and assert myself (only when needed tho), i go with the flow, and i value my Fe. but i don’t think i really fear of loss or seperation as much as the idea of others seeing me fail

the thing i don’t relate to about enneagram 3 is being super productive. im currently a student and i don’t study all day; in fact, i do the bare minimum of doing homework. and then i go off to study the cognitive functions since that’s what i’m interested atm

2.) if you don’t have perfect grades, don’t study all day, and you don’t put much value on school (but more value on things you’re interested in), does it still make you a enneagram 3?

Hey, thanks for the question!

At the core,

3s fear not being loved simply for who they are and feel compelled to create a persona that is too perfect not to love

9s suppress their anger and deny their own needs and desires in order to accommodate to others and maintain harmony

9s are usually more subdued personalities and 3s typically like to stand out. With an sp variant, a 3 would likely be more fearful of tangible failure and try to accumulate symbols of success. 9 sp types tend to be creatures of habit who like to have comfort in routines and can be physically indulgent.

To answer your productivity question, I think there is a natural tendency to put more effort into things you value (for anyone), but a 3 would likely pretend they were excelling in everything valued by others (or at least act like they don’t care about those things so it doesn’t matter if they suck).

Especially for a 3w4, they might just let people think they are excelling by never addressing the topic outright or trying to show off. For a healthier 3, they would be more honest about their shortcomings, use it to connect with others, and potentially use humor to alleviate some of the tension.

I wouldn’t say I’m super productive all the time. I actually have a tendency to procrastinate and cut corners. The part that aligns with a 3 is the shame of being “lazy” and fear that anyone will know I’m not super productive/amazing at what I’m doing. It’s akin to throwing all of your junk in a closet to make your guests think your house is clean.

Even if you don’t personally value school, I think it would be a bit unusual for a 3 to be totally okay with people knowing you aren’t the best at school and/or not make excuses for why you aren’t better. If you can push past those feelings, it probably took some reflection and practice!

As far as how an INTP 3w4 is different from other INTPs, I think being in the heart triad is pretty unusual. Many INTPs are in the head triad, particularly as 5s because it is about the accumulation of knowledge. I think being a 3w4 makes me more prone to learning just enough to seem knowledgeable about some things because the apparent breadth of knowledge is impressive. A 5 would not settle for a superficial understanding of a topic the way a 3 would, or at least not act like they know more than they do.

I want to note that it’s not uncommon for people to choose a type that feels comfortable, but might not be accurate. The enneagram taps into the most sensitive aspects of yourself, and it can be really uncomfortable to acknowledge those things, especially if one is more acceptable for you to be in your culture. It can be hard to break down those mental barriers. So, I think being unsure can sometimes be more beneficial than being sure about the wrong one. Just stay aware of which ones make you squirm a little.

Extra reading that might help you out:

http://thechangeworks.com/ennprimer/enn9styls2.html#P

http://thechangeworks.com/ennprimer/enn9styls1.html#anchor172482

[one-leaf-grimoire]

“triad”

Chapter 4: the three votes

AKA the main character manipulates men into doing what she wants.

Link to the full Ao3 work

Three votes.

Three votes, that's all I need.

Yes, the threshold I need to win is actually five votes. But once two of those votes swing my way, the others will follow. Well, maybe I just need two votes now. The one that was withheld last round and one from the pair of rivals.

Fuegoleon and Nozel... to gain both of their votes, I just need to convince one. 

My grandparents once told me that the foundation of every Dyad is a strong relationship. It can be that between a husband and wife; lovers; maybe two best friends. But the most interesting yet volatile Dyads came from those formed from two rivals. Admittedly, it's been a long time since I had a true rival. Back when I was a kid, I mentally competed with Horatio. He was strong and powerful, at least for a commoner, and I wanted nothing more than to beat him. But that seems like a lifetime ago. Several lifetimes. I hardly recognize the girl I was back then, as if she's a stranger or just someone I made up in my own head.

The point is... the rivalry between Fuegoleon and Nozel is something I've never fully understood. They push each other to get better in the hopes of one day beating the other to the throne, but the understanding between them was that, at the very least, one of them was worthy of it. And no one else.

Not even me.

So...

In order to defeat them, I have to destroy it. Their rivalry. I'll crush it with everything I can muster. I'm sorry... but I can't let you stand in my way.

I walk for a long time, formulating my plan, until I make my decision. First, I'll go to Fuegoleon. Then, to Nozel. And finally... to William.

William...

My plan to get his vote is not solid. It relies completely on my ability to pull at the well of shame and guilt I know is building inside him. 

... I'm sorry.

"Hey, Fuego~"

I find Fuegoleon leaning on the edge of a window, staring down at the city below. He turns quickly at the sound of my voice, and his eyes widen slightly as I approach. However, he can't help the small smile that etches itself on his lips. "Oh... hello." He straightens up, letting go of the edge. "If nothing else, you're surprising us all today."

"What? That sounds like an insult," I tease, walking up next to him and looking out as well. The city is busy with repairs, people moving around the streets like little ants. It's a view I'm used to, one I've known for almost 7 years now. "And surprises are good, right?"

Fuegoleon shrugs, his gaze following mine down to the city. "I suppose..." 

We sit there for a long time in silence, just staring out at the Kingdom that one of us will rule by the end of today.

"...Fuegoleon?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember... that time you got turned into a frog?"

Fuegoleon's jaw drops and he makes a surprised noise. It comes out in a choked CROAK, and I can't help but burst out laughing at it. "Wow, I guess old habits die hard!"

"What?! Ah- AHEM!" Fuegoleon blushes as he clears his throat, but the sound of my laugh ensures that his smile stays on his face. "Yes, yes, I remember... although I'd like to forget." He lets out a soft chuckle. "That was so long ago..."

"Yeah, it really was." I shake my head a bit at the memory. "Back before you were captain and I was an advisor. Back when..."

I don't really know what I want to say. Back when things were simple? Before I was disgraced? Back when Julius was alive?

Back when Julius was alive... that wasn't even a week ago.

"I know today has been a big surprise. I know you never expected me to throw my hat into the ring. I guess I'm sorry about that..." I sigh, closing my eyes, the fleeting joy of the last few moments already ebbing away.

Fuegoleon draws in a heavy breath. He's tired, I can feel it, every bone in his body aching and his mind reeling to just stay awake. He woke up from a coma just a few days ago, after all, and has been on his feet ever since. It must have been scary and confusing to wake up in the midst of such a ferocious battle, but he got everything under control at his base and went on to fight inside the shadow palace. At his core, Fuegoleon is a leader, someone strong who can be looked up to and followed without question. I was proud to call him my comrade and captain.

I know in my heart that he would be a great Wizard King. Maybe it's selfish to take it away from him. But I have to.

I promised.

"Don't apologize. I can't pretend I'm not surprised... and a little confused." Fuegoleon glances over at me out of the corner of his eye. "You really haven't been planning this for a while?"

"No, not at all! Do I seem prepared?" I shoot him a little grin to keep things light. "But what is it you're confused about? I thought I made a pretty good case for myself-"

"You did, you did!" Fuegoleon, to my surprise, cuts me off. I look up to see him facing me, smiling despite the challenge I've created for him. "It was a very good case, too."

I raise an eyebrow. "Oh? You don't sound like someone that determined to become Wizard King."

Fuegoleon snorts. "No, no, I am... But just because I'm determined, doesn't mean I can't recognize those with worth of your own." I blink, a little confused, as he closes his eyes and smiles. "I think... you would make a fine Wizard King."

He lets the statement hang in the air for a moment before opening his eyes again, his expression turning grim again.

"But, the case you made today... those were just reasons why we should want you to be Wizard King. What I really want to know..."

He narrows his eyes. 

"Why do you want to be Wizard King?"

...

I made a promise. I want to continue Julius's legacy. I deserve it. I've worked harder than anyone else. Spite. I want to be the first commoner to do it. 

I want to be Wizard King... because I WANT to be Wizard King.

About thirty different reasons flash through my mind at once, blurring and blending into each other all at once. It takes me by surprise, the sudden animosity that wells up in response to the question, like a flame being fed by air... before suddenly sputtering out into nothing.

"...I..."

I feel Fuegoleon's hand on my shoulder, squeezing for a moment. "I meant what I said. I think you would be amazing. You're strong, confident, and people follow you. You're probably more powerful than any of us. And you carry Julius's soul in your own. But..." He lets go. "I don't want you to do this because you think you're expected to. That's too much pressure to bear."

Fuegoleon turns away, starting to walk off down the hallway to leave me alone again.

... I can't give up...

I ball up my fist, and my prior conversation with Marx and Yami.

"I don't think you should keep acting like nothing happened. It has to hurt... right?"

"... too much to bear?"

He pauses at the sound of my voice, which is wavering dangerously on the edge of a void. Slowly, he turns around to still see me staring out the window. My eyes feel hot and wet, but I don't let even a single drop of emotion escape. Sucking in a shaky breath, I finally look up at him, and I see his facade drop.

Look at me... see me. See what I want you to see.

"Do you have any idea... how much pain I'm in right now?"

Fuegoleon's eyes widen, his mouth opening as he realizes what he's done. 

He made me cry. Me, the girl who never cries, is letting my eyes tear up in front of him. It's a vulnerability I don't dare show to people, except for those closest to me. Marx, my father, and Julius... I can count the number of people who've seen me cry on one hand. And now, Fuegoleon thinks that he's added himself to that list.

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-" 

He steps forward, his non-fire hand reaching out to comfort me, put I pull away before he can touch me. I cover my face, drawing in one long, shallow breath.

"It hurts, Fuegoleon... It's the worst I've ever felt in my life. Everything I ever wanted is gone. Julius..." I gulp thickly, squeezing my eyes shut. "He's gone!"

With each word I speak, I fly closer and closer to the sun. If I fly too far, I'll burn up and fall back down into that dark, deep emptiness.

That emptiness... it engulfs this whole world. It is the world without him.

Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Just speak.

"I'm sorry..." Fuegoleon has no idea what to do, and he's panicking just like I predicted. He steps to my side, then to the other once I turn away again and again, avoiding his gaze. "I-I didn't mean to upset you-"

"It's not you! Don't you get it!" Finally, I let my voice raise, just a little, which silences him again. I let my hands drop to my sides as I look back up at his horrified face. The tears streak down my cheeks now. "I can't make you understand. You and your rivalry... you wouldn't, would you? You don't know what it's like to lose."

Fuegoleon opens his mouth, but he can't possibly have a good response to that. I sniff deliberately, reaching up and starting to wipe off my face. 

"I loved him with everything I had... and now I have to replace him, or this void..."

One of my hands clutches my chest, right over my heart.

Yes, it does hurt... but I can't think about it.

I close my eyes for a long moment, and when I open them, they're empty.

"The only think I can replace him with is the Kingdom. I want to be Wizard King, because I want to love something like that again."

The hand outreached to me finally falls, and forms a fist by Fuegoleon's side.

He's making his decision.

The first tightens.

Fuegoleon...

And finally, he lets it relax. His shoulders slump.

He's been defeated. A few tears, a crying friend... and a sincere statement. That's all it took.

You revealed your own weakness. You let yourself consider another option, other than yourself and Nozel. You considered me. And once I came up with my reason...

You can't refuse this last request from a friend, can you?

I'm sorry.

"...I see."

Fuegoleon's voice is soft. 

"I... I'll see you back in the conference room. Let me know if you need anything."

"...thank you."

I keep staring at the ground until his footsteps fade out of earshot, and then finally look up at the empty hallway. I reach up and wipe away the lingering moisture, wondering how much of it was real.

Wow... I really am the worst, aren't I?

For a brief moment, I started to fall. The emptiness threatened to consume me. I know it's inevitable at this point, and before long I'll have to get it out of my system, but I don't have that luxury right now. I just have to tough it out until this day is over. 

On that subject, there's just one more person to see, now that I basically have Fuegoleon wrapped around my finger. With that one conversation, I'm certain that I've secured two votes. Fuegoleon votes first, and once Nozel sees that his rival has given up...

It's mine. But not yet.

William.

I find him standing by himself outside the conference room. He looks up once he hears my footsteps, giving me a little smile. "...hello."

"Hey." I give him a smile before leaning on the wall next to him. "Are you waiting for everyone to come back?"

"Yeah." He nods slowly, his gaze meeting mine for just a moment before dropping to the ground. Ah. This is going to be hard. It's no secret that, despite what I told him on the night of the attack, William is drowning in guilt. He almost single-handedly destroyed the kingdom, but against me, personally... he committed a crime he'll never forgive himself for.

It's that guilt that I'm betting on now.

"I guess I have the easiest decision... I'm abstaining again." William's eyes close, their lavender shades hidden from my view.

His eyes...

Julius had eyes just like that, too.

"I don't want you to feel like this is a vote against you, though," William turns to me, suddenly very concerned about this point, almost frantic. "I mean- I just feel like-" He starts to stumble. "I think you would be great-" Gee, like I haven't heard that before! "-I just..."

For a brief moment, William looks like he's about to cry.

"I think I gave up my right to vote... when I let Patri kill Julius."

He winces at the sound of his own words, but they bounce right off my skin.

Oh... oh William...

Just like Fuegoleon, William has revealed his weakness.

"That's not true."

With every ounce of strength I have, I extinguish anything warm I feel towards this man.

He just made a mistake. Don't do it, please... It wasn't his fault.

It's just for a moment... but the light extinguishes.

"William..."

His eyes meet mine. There's a flash of fear as he beholds the cold emptiness within them.

"You gave up your right to be silent when you let Patri kill Julius."

Confusion mixes with the fear. "...huh-"

"William. I told you before-" I hold up my hand and point at him accusingly.

"If you want me to forgive you, you'll need to help me. And right now..."

Despite the bitter regret that taints each word I say to my old friend, I smile.

"I need your vote. So... vote for me."

Vote for me.

I say it like I normally would, as if I was just asking a favor of a good friend. Which, in the end, that's all I'm doing. But there's a weight stringed against my words, a weight that drags behind both William and I. If he knows what's going on here, he can't do anything to resist. Because, I have the one thing he wants most: my forgiveness. He doesn't know that I've already given it to him. I'm not stupid- I know that there were otherworldly forces at work, beyond even Patri's command. Patri's hands held the sword, but the Devil was the one who struck down Julius in the end. However...

It doesn't matter if I've already forgiven William; He has no idea if I have. So I'll withhold it until he does what I want.

"I'm going inside... see you soon, William."

His lavender eyes follow me silently as I walk away, the door slamming closed behind me.

And now... it's time to see if my bet pays off.

The final vote occurs and MC/Lisa finds herself at the center of a trial once again... but this time, she has something to say. Next time, chapter 5: the payoff.