#headcanonically

[flannelepicurean]

New headcanon:

Goku's hair doesn't get all downward-soggy in the shower, it just gets kinda like...a slightly-more-floppy version of the nonsense he has goin' on.

Vegeta, on the other hand, comes outta there lookin' like a goddamn water nymph. I'm talkin' ✨TRESSES.✨ I'm talkin' "shampoo commercials wish they could capture this look."

The first time they're in a situation where Vegeta steps outta the shower like, "OK ur turn," and goes grumping away to grump somewhere else, Goku's brain does a record scratch, and then the gears lock up, and then it just explodes like somebody shot a rocket launcher at a fireworks factory.

The fireworks burst into the sky to spell out, in glimmering radiance, "I WANNA FUCK THAT DUDE."

[peggy-uwu]

characters that purr>>>>>

[flannelepicurean]

do not care about the actual context, here are the 💯 facts:

bulma did something illegal.

highly intelligent, HIGHLY illegal. and incredibly silly.

vegeta is shouting an increasingly preposterous list of excuses, stream-of-consciousness style, about why he did what he did, in the way that he did it, when he intervened to keep bulma out of super jail.

he is making these frantically-escalating excuses to trunks.

not because trunks is a baby and can't handle the things daddy did to the super police. but because this happens way too goddamn often, and he just knows trunk is so, so disappointed in both of his parents.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Vulcan teen on Vulcan [tiktok] saying "I have just lost track of my father in the grocery store." The camera turns to show the viewers the grocery store in which almost every single older middle-aged man has a bowlcut and long robes. Camera turns back to show the teen's face which is expressionless and yet communicates all it needs to.

[animentality]

[doodleswithangie]

headcanon that stan hates wearing glasses (for many reasons) and went without them for years until he really needed them

[Image Description: Comic of a younger Stanley Pines from "Gravity Falls." Alt text is provided and copied below the cut. End ID]

A younger Stan squints at his blurry reflection in the mirror, leaning in really close to see himself clearly. He sighs and grabs a pair of Ford's glasses on the dresser. Putting them on, he stares at his reflection. "Welp," he says, "this is unsettling."

He turns away from the mirror to adjust his tie, saying, "But it can't be helped." His reflection is now a disheveled Ford, mirroring Stan.

[flannelepicurean]

Can we just pause for a moment and imagine Hannibal accidentally slipping into a lonesome cowboy accent for a second, and that's what makes Will "consider" briefly? Can we just do that, please?

Like, I don't care what the fuck actually happened on screen, I just want everything to have taken on a campfire glow for a minute while Hannibal's plaid suit turned a real different sort of plaid and he was like, "😔🐴 Been a long time since I used a scalpel on anything other than a pencil... 🦅🌵🌅" and there's a faint sound of mournful harmonica in the distance.

And then Will "considers that briefly" and clutches his handkerchief to his goddamn gingham bosom and inquires softly, "🥺🎀Why did you stop being a surgeon?🌹🌸🏠🥧"

You can't tell me. You just cannot.

Justice 4 High Plains Hannibal 😂

[mountainshroom]

If she has no fans call the ambulance cause I am dead

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

multilingual batkids. they learn each others languages so they can mix and match. for example:

tim in french: have you figured out how we’re gonna tell b we’re not going to that gala yet?

damian in arabic: no i thought that was thomas’ job?

duke french: me? no jason said he’d do something

jason in arabic: hey don’t drag me into this!

dick in romani: i’m gonna kill him i really i am

steph in russian: who are we killing?

dick in english: ah! nobody! wait i didn’t know you spoke romani

tim in greek: you’re an asshole

jason in english: wait my greek is rusty say it again slowly

tim in greek: you’re an asshole

jason: …. you motherfucker

cass signing: nice drawing

damian in chinese: thank you

dick yelling at bruce about something he did

jason in spanish: what language is he speaking right now?

tim also in spanish: uh all of them i think

jason: does bruce even know-

tim: no he doesn’t

[heart-locket-musicboxless]

There are three kinds of LGBT headcanons:

Actual queer coding / metaphors ("Nimona is trans because her creator made her as a way to express his feelings as a trans person")

Vibes ("Link is genderless because I said so")

It's funny ("Phoenix Wright is asexual because he's the Ace Attorney")

[chic-beyond-the-wall]

More medieval dyes for y'all!

[flannelepicurean]

Yo, yo, yo, sweet beans, have some more outrageously silly Vegeta/Kakavege headcanons:

It's a 💯 stone-cold FACT that Vegeta is pretty much the world's biggest Meat Loaf fan. You cannot debate me on this, it's just fundamental to the fabric of reality that the first time he heard "Bat Out of Hell," it blew his whole entire goddamn MIND into another plane of existence.

He made Bulma buy him a leather jacket for "REASONS, OKAY?! DON'T QUESTION ME, WOMAN!!!" He doesn't wear it, like, out, though. It's in the category of "ceremonial armor," sort of.

Vegeta. DOES NOT. SING.

UNLESS he is TRASHED. Like, "It's over 9000!" level wasted. In which case he will absolutely stun the fuck outta everyone, because he goes Super-Saiyan on the power slide. He came here to 🤘ROCK🤘, goddammit, and he takes that shit just as seriously as combat. He's not gonna half-ass it.

Goku witnesses this at some point when they're off-world together, and is like, "OMG, THAT SONG FUCKS SO HARD, HOLY FUCK, AND THE ✨SHOWMANSHIP✨, MY FUCKING GOOOODDDDD!!!"

Vegeta dies a bazillion deaths when he sobers up in the morning and realizes that Goku is now his #1 fan.

Goku does kinda drop it, because he's a good friend.

But he secretly DOESN'T drop it, because he's a good friend. And there are SO MANY MEAT LOAF SONGS that are DUETS. WHO'S GONNA BACK VEGETA UP ON "PARADISE BY THE DASHBOARD LIGHT?!" MOTHAFUCKIN' SON GOKU, THAT'S WHO!!! And you KNOW he's got the lung capacity and the passion to hit those fuckin' notes, fam!!!

And that, honeybees, is how some denizens of an off-world karaoke bar got to enjoy Round 2 of a pair of absolutely shit-hammered Saiyans bellowing out a nuclear onslaught of early heavy metal ballads with their whole goddamn chests.

You're welcome. 😂

[ahfrickenfrick]

vicki vale: and what do you have to say about the rumors that Bruce Wayne and Batman are the same person?

12 year old, newly appointed robin, jason todd: ??? that would be really weird cause i’ve literally seen them kiss before??

bruce: *in the Wayne tower, popping up from his paperwork* …something just happened…

[bats-and-the-birds]

Situation where Clark has formed a tentative working relationship with Batman, but somewhere in that time, Batman acquired Robin and, naturally, didn't tell him.

Clark finds out about Robin's existence when a ten year old Dick Grayson in full Robin gear breaks into his apartment at two in the morning and shakes him awake because Batman's missing and Alfred's away and Bruce taught him that, in the case of emergency, Superman was one of the only people he could trust. Bruce just didn't think to tell Clark that he was, by all means, his son's emergency contact.

Clark: -wakes up to a small boy that he's never seen or heard of before in a cape and a mask with lenses that reflect light like a cat's perched on the edge of his bed in a pitch black room-

Dick, calmly: Hey, Batman's -- stop screaming -- Batman's missing. I need help.

[incorrectbatfam]

The only acceptable trans Tim headcanon would be Tim introducing himself to the batfam as a boy from the get-go with such confidence that no one questions him. Then, his first solo case as Robin is investigating the disappearance of Jack and Janet Drake's "daughter," so he pretends to have a twin sister by forging a bunch of documents and photoshopping family pictures. He then fabricates evidence of her death, committing multiple crimes in the process, and holds a fake funeral at the end. Because if his previous name is dead to him, he's gonna kill it the Tim Drake way